#idek what was the purpose of this post

[harrowscore]

Sasha Samokhina + Farit Kozennikov, Vita nostra & Assassin of Reality

[fslurusami]

you know how sometimes theres some popular character and most of the fanstuff is mostly accurate on the surface but you personally have some lived experience shared w this character that enables you to have a deeper understanding of little nuances under the hood that inform things like their decision making and stuff. its on a sliding scale of accuracy of course. personally i mostly get this with my mental disorders with characters such as ogata but sometimes theres LITTLE TINY THINGS that bother me about specifically the various violence related fetishes. and the fact that it bothers me itself bothers me cuz i feel like. "oh Clearly you havent received or inflicted wounds for sexual pleasure". yes obviously they havent done that. nobody else does that. i am abnormal in nature and insane in the head

[seafoam-taide]

ok. ok. ok. fine. im gonna post them. BUT. i will not tag them.

[sailingsunsets]

was on my way to therapy this morning and there was a man holding a large green egg sprinting up and past me on the staircase

[larentslovechaos]

today's gonna be rough probably hahaha

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

the thing about developing self confidence in the way you look after being bullied as a child is that if you happen to look young for your age it's REALLY hard to see yourself as attractive because the only people hitting on you are creepy old men

[tiredsmashbros]

SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

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thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

[evansbby]

an update from me :)

hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.

so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.

i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.

HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.

because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)

anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.

i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.

ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.

and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.

But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.

Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.

Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.

Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.

Many thanks

Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼

[shesnake]

I wanted to know your thoughts on this but do you think it's fair to say either Louis or Armand are abusive in their relationship? Idek if this is a valid angle to view the characters from because I guess they're all monsters or whatever but a part of me thinks that it's kinda lukewarm to refuse to engage with the complicated themes of the show, which abuse is featured heavily and pretty clearly imo. This isn't aimed at you btw. Something I noticed is people tend to use some of Louis's less favorable moments to justify the violence he experiences. Like that post about Armand just matching Louis energy in ep 5, most of the notes are taking the stance that Louis is a cold, unempathic pimp who doesn't care about sa victims, that Armand genuinely is completely right when he says he is always cleaning up after Louis that he was only worried and tenderhearted and Louis escalated in the worst way and that after Louis said that he deserved everything that happened after. And I may be biased but to me that is so fucking crazy. To me it seems like fans, specially nonblack fans, have zero empathy for black abuse victims, actively enacting abuse culture even. But idk if that is a too reactive view. I don't want to say Louis isn't flawed because he is. But I mean we are watching the season about Armand getting Claudia killed on purpose and somehow people are still like Maybe Armand didn't do it, maybe it was all Louis, maybe Louis really asked for it. All of it. I think there's a problem there but idk I kinda feel a little crazy too. Btw disclaimer I fuckin hate Lestat this is not about comparing Loumand/Loustat lol

hi! and wow there is so much to discuss here...

I think it is fair to describe the actions of both Louis and Armand towards each other as abusive by definition but it's always important to remember that it is Armand in the position of greater power over him. Armand is older, stronger, owns dominion. He can walk in the sun, manipulate memories, and live without constant debilitating hunger for blood - all of which are things that impede Louis from being his own person outside of Armand.

Louis also faced this same predicament when he was with Lestat, but unlike Armand who uses his own innate powers against Louis, Lestat mostly used his social advantages of whiteness, wealth etc in addition to withholding key knowledge about vampirism to keep himself in control and Louis dependent on him.

and sure Louis can lash out all he wants! He can mock Armand's sexual trauma (trauma which Armand himself already gets them both to fetishise... but that's a whole different conversation...) he can hit back when Lestat hits him but when he's with either of those guys he is always going to be the victim. Nothing shitty he does to his partners, or to Claudia, or to Daniel, justifies what is being done to him by these men.

There absolutely has to be anti-blackness involved in any argument that says Louis deserves any of this. (Of course Armand as a brown South Asian man is not immune from fandom racism but his treatment is racialised in a different way that is also a different conversation). Any negative behaviour from a Black man is going to be seen by racists as exponentially more aggressive than it is, especially the cross-section with those you mentioned who aren't engaging with the complicated themes of this show exploring abuse.

They can see that Louis yelling at Armand is bad, but don't notice that Armand is being manipulative. They can see that Louis stabbing Lestat that one time during sex is bad (and still sexualise it), but don't notice that Louis is disassociating in every sex scene he has with Lestat afterwards (because they're too busy sexualising it). They can see that Louis making Daniel upset is bad, but don't notice that Daniel has been leveling dozens of racist and homophobic micro-aggressions at him since episode 1.

Armand got a few minutes to tell his tragic backstory in Louvre, Lestat had 2 or 3 different scenes in season 1 to recall his own. It's just been words. Meanwhile racists erase Louis' experiences with trauma because they never had enough fucking empathy for him to begin with to even register it happening to him! on screen! in real time! right in front of us!

And yeah Louis and Armand and Loumand are incredibly complex and compelling, and I do enjoy seeing Louis' moments of cruelty towards Armand! But he's never going to win against him in the game Armand built for him.

And in terms of Claudia, I do think that Louis failed her, as he has always failed her. And is responsible for her death in that regard. But that failure involved letting those other two fucking sharks eat her!!! I personally haven't seen anyone pushing the blame completely off Armand and onto Louis but I wouldn't be surprised. This week I've more pissed off about people levelling it all on Armand and think of Lestat as an unwilling participant.... this is of course the blonde white vampire show....

anyways sorry this is so long! thanks for the message this was really interesting to think about.

[kyoghurts]

Oneshot about Rayne Ames that the reader is his assistant, but the reader is very kind and helpful as they are smart and stuff. Then their family is going out during weekends, she saw a bunny keychain and thought about Rayne and bought it and gave it to Rayne. Now Rayne is keeping it clean and no one could touch the keychain except for the reader and him.

MATCHMADE . . ♡

rayne x assistant gn reader oh lord i am done. idek if he has an office for himself but lets just pretend for now that he has. fluff and 1.6k words.

you don't particularly call yourself an assistant of sorts, not that the title isn't welcomed. in fact, you take pride in it. most especially because you take pride in being able to stand on rayne ames's side. and it comes with an emphasis you're proud to make, it's no one but the rayne, even if he too doesn't call you his assistant, you're always stuck into this pathway he forges on, you’re stuck to him like glue.

"good morning!" its early—like way too early to be this chirpy. and yet rayne does not stop you, does not glare at your way as you deftly run your fingers through your hair, does not comment in the way you arrange your post-it notes and memos on your pressboard and does not startle you with awful amount of declines from him. there's one thing he wants and one thing he will always search for in the mornings: and that is to listen to your voice, the one where it has a special ring to it. so he’ll let you dance your way into his office without remorse, without formalities but you’re a great tease so you start with—“is sir in a good mood lately or has he been giving me the benefit of the doubt these days?”

“keep talking and i might change my mind”

“keyword: might. it implies that you may or may not change your mind.” you lean in, almost dangerously close, your arms on his desk as you crane forward. pushing your luck to the limits, “but i know you. you’re not the type to do any of these things just to be polite.” you boop his nose. “in other words, you’re doing it on purpose.”

with a low voice, of husky and all glares that never stabs, at least, not to you. “but what if that possibility of ‘might’ falls into may?” he doesn’t back down, despite knowing the outcome nonetheless.

you whisper back “you would’ve done that by now, rayne.”

this is the part where he reclines in his seat, the faint—almost inaudible “hmph” you have ever heard. this is the part where you know he’s accepted of his fate. that he will lose to you, that he will not deny anything from you.

its something of a value, it holds of importance, because you know him. everything you say is true.

when you move away and idly brush your hair at the back of your ear. thing shifts back into the normal. as if the look that you once had weren't there, as if he didn't look at you like he's ready to come forth. as if both of you weren't thinking of the same thing thats been itching around at the back of your throat. something of words you cannot say.

you cough in fake. "mash is doing okay. had tutored him on your behalf."

he gives an affirmative nod. "you didn't have to. but thank you regardless."

"you're welcome~"

you move from one memo to another, mostly minor, as you melt into this shared space of you and him. this routine had been your favourite, and you so wished for things to never change.

...perhaps, you spoke a little too soon.

when he stands to announce he'd be off, your hesitation runs through to assault each and every one of your nerve endings, a poison that traps you in place, paralyzed. he's about to head to the door when you fleetingly tug at his robe, and that one raised eyebrow with a question hanging between his eyes could make time stop all at once. he waits for you to start, patience in the form of taking in your expression and trying to ease them by pressing his hand on your arm.

"this isn't exactly a memo but uhm—" you’re getting distracted, his hand is so warm, or maybe it’s just the room temp? you’re not sure. all you know is that you’re getting uncharacteristically shy and his silent but inviting presence isn’t helping. “i went out with my family last weekend, you know this already, correct?”

“yes.” somehow, his voice has become, (and with no doubt) uncharacteristically soft, too. “what about it?”

“i got something for you.”

you pull out something from your robe, something cute…wait, is that a bunny keychain?

he opens his palm for you like a flower revealing its petals, you gave the keychain. tender like the quiet that sits the space between you and rayne, tender like the awkward closing of his hand and tender who looks like he’s hiding his ears from you, turning his head just an angle away from your view. you curse yourself for the lack of words, but his mannerism and the faint pout forming on his lips could be described nothing but adorable.

hell, you could call him out for this, you have the power to get him flustered and flushed red. you could tell him that the keychain reminded you of him and that the sole reason you got one in the first place was because of him — you can’t help yourself, you see rayne in everything, it drives you mad sometimes. you could tell him this, and you could stop being the cause of nightmare for anyone who witness your foolish insanity.

(but, that would be for another time. because today, you can treasure this moment of softness. even if its too much for your heart, melting like gum)

he mumbles. “thank you.” tongue becoming tentative as he swallows. “i’ll keep it.”

“you better.” you show him another keychain. “i bought one for myself. we match.”

if he could discern the slight tremble beneath your voice as you struggle to breath, and the awkward chuckle that you forced right now, he doesn’t comment on them. he normally wouldn’t, after all, he’s a man of a few words. a man who you’ve come to know by heart, of glares with no sharpness of a knife, of choosing actions over words.

he doesn’t comment on the way you look at him, but he lifts your chin, and by a second you can’t miss the way he glimpsed at your lips, and then back at you, a question raised so silent and yet it’s the only thing you can hear.

you nod. simple. he leans in, closing his eyes, achingly slow and hesitant and you try to lock your hands on his nape pulling him closer and fuck your knees are about to give in—

“yo rayne can i have a chat with you stat and- oh!- shit wait-”

you seriously don’t know if it’s actually all just a dream because you realize a moment too late of your legs already taking you to the door, removing any evidence of max has just witnessed and not having to sit with the intense humiliation and interrogation.

you want the earth to swallow you this instant!

meanwhile on rayne ames part. “no one ever told you to fucking knock?”

“i’m sorry! you weren’t answering when i was calling you at the door!” max raises his arms in surrender. a look of guilt tinged on his face. “i didn’t mean to interrupt your, uh, almost make out session-”

“speak another word and i’ll bury you alive myself.”

max imitates his fingers zipping his mouth close. laughing softly once rayne rolled his eyes, huffing out of frustration, his scowl deeper but not so much compared to the cherry red staining his cheeks.

how the hell can he face you now?

“anyhow, i wanted to discuss with you on- waitttttt” and dear heavens no, there’s too many disruptions for one day. “is that a… keychain? wait. i saw something similar in their hands!- AGH” max shrieks at the swords pointed at him with sharp, clear intent of which made him really shut his mouth once and for all. “okay, okay! i promise i won’t tell a soul of your soft spot for your assistant to anyone! promise!”

“will you please just go on with it?” he hids the keychain safely out of reach.

after saying his piece, max hastily retreats and permits rayne to exhale softly, running a hand through his hair, trying to collect himself from all the storm that had left. he studies the item in his palm for a while, having no one to invade this moment, he swore to himself he’ll never let anyone touch this keychain, completely off limits.

it’s such a small thing but, somehow it fills his heart full.

lost in thought, rayne doesn't notice the soft click of the door opening once again, his assistant peeking in cautiously, a sheepish expression on your face.

"rayne, I'm so sorry about earlier," you begin, your voice tentative yet earnest. "i didn't mean for max to.. interrupt like that. it was unprofessional of me.”

rayne turns to face you, his expression softening as he meets your gaze. "It's alright," he replies, his voice gentle yet firm. "these things happen. besides, it's not like we can control every interruption.”

lapsed into silence, the air a bit too thick of tension. the itch at the back of your throat becomes unbearable. your fingers start to fidget with your sleeve, nervous.

(say it.)

(don’t say it.)

"i... i just wanted to say thank you," you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. "For everything. you mean a lot to me, rayne.”

(you said it.)

(words you wish to say but can’t—words that hold fear, but washes them off once you see his reaction. and he’s saying it through language that never needed the mouth.)

rayne allows himself to entertain the possibility of something more, something beyond the confines of your… well, semi-professional relationship.

despite many, many interruptions, despite the uncertainties that lie ahead. one thing remains clear:

everything that you and rayne have, it runs deeper than mere professionalism, and perhaps, just perhaps, there's room for something more in-between.

(and if it's meant to be? let it be.)

taglist. @seneon theres still more rayne reqs on my inbox pls owhdoideshdauwe MAN

© kyoghurts. ★ reblogs & likes are well appreciated!

[ubtendo]

Imagine for a moment - Briggsy connecting Jericho and Torbek.

Imagine Briggsy and Torbek treating Jericho like a little sibling/their kid. Imagine Torbek and Jerry sharing tips and tricks for their shared struggles. Imagine Briggsy doing his best to commit to memory everything that helps either of them.

((Imagine Jericho having a crush ((maybe on Marius & Lethica)). Imagine the shovel talks. Imagine the hijinks. Imagine the comically terrifying interactions))

Just. Idek I feel like Briggsbek is the cutest, sweetest, most adorable thing ever and I am legally required to put my other Specialest Little Guy in range. Also Torbek and Jericho would get along famously, I think.

((Bonus, tsundere Virgil who looks at his hot mess host and his hot mess friend-family. "Well I can't just allow then to die because it could impact my plans and NO I DON'T CARE it's all for the purposes of Evil Demonic Scheming you wouldn't understand- STOP SMILING-!!"))

Anyway I'm exhausted and thought this was funny do with it what you will. Ily baiii

You people, be serious

are you actually living in my walls? Or more specifically in my head? ARE YOU THE HORNETS THAT ARE TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE?!?!

All jokes aside, YES absolutely

I even have a post in my drafts that talks about a connection between Torbek and Jericho (specifically about how the song Monster from Skillet reminds me sort of of them and how you are doomed to share your body with an evil entity if you sit on THAT spot on the table as a loa cast member but that's beside the point) and Torbek immediately sympathises with Jericho if they were ever too meet, and Briggsy would introduce them something like: "Oh Jerry look, this is my partner Torbek who ALSO has a demon who occasionally takes over his body, what a coincidence right?". And Torbek and Jericho being the silly goofies that they are would immediately bond over the most traumatic things imaginable and make it seem like it's the most normal thing ever (and no one is really bothered by it, honestly they've all seen worse)

Also, while, totally Briggsbek is like the most squishable pair ever, they would be terrible and dating advice, they'd give you the most rotting advice you can imagine, really

[bitethedevil]

I can’t remember who reblogged that new Raphael mod so apologies if you haven’t seen it, but I was very disturbed by it. I’m talking about the “deaging” one that I assume was made by a teenager. I don’t understand how people can claim to like a character and then want to make them “younger/prettier”. All those mods, like the ones for Astarion and Gortash look awful to me. I saw that people were trying to have an interesting discussion in the comments of the post about maybe that’s how Raphael really looks since he’s immortal and could have stopped aging. But I wanted to ask them if they’ve seen a representation of Odin ever. Being immortal doesn’t necessarily mean looking like a bland pretty boy. Is this a Draco Malfoy twink thing? Do you have a better idea of what the appeal of this is, because I really don’t get it.

Interesting question! I think I know the post you are talking about. I don’t really ‘mod-shame’ (is that a term?). People can do whatever and it doesn’t affect me. That being said I do kind of agree with you, it is sad, and I think, some of it at least, might stem from a place of ageism. Maybe also the fact that some people have gotten so used to videogames and animation that they forget what actual people look like when a game more realistically portrays someone, if that even makes sense?

I also just think that some of the people liking those mods are very young themselves and might feel odd about their favorite characters looking older. Like that age where you are in denial and ashamed about liking characters who look old enough to be your parent (I remember that vividly at least. Maybe it’s just me idek). I really cannot imagine any grown-up person thinking it’s necessary to remove wrinkles on characters. Perhaps I’m just naïve but I have always suspected it’s just teens who do it. We’ve all been there.

That said, I do think there is some truth to what people are saying about him looking older on purpose! If I recall correctly, cambions stop aging around 20-30 ish and I thiiiink it’s the same for other devils? They just choose to look older to be taken more seriously. Even good ol’ Mephistopheles have like three different forms, so it’s not uncommon in the Hells to be very particular about their appearance.

I’m also coincidentally a Norse Pagan (the inclusive and reconstructionist kind, and not the n*zi-dickheads-who-likes-to-play-vikings kind, obviously) and I think Odin actually does the same thing. The Norse gods aren’t “true” immortals. They just munch on apples that prolong their lives, but they do eventually die, and they do age. Odin appears like a lot of different people, and I wouldn’t put it past him to just look old because it fits his wise, all-father persona. He is dramatic like that, much like our dear Raphie boy. (Which is completely unrelated to your point, I’m just a fucking nerd who can’t help myself when people talk about stuff I’m interested)

(Thank you for the ask <3)

[marley-manson]

If you're still doing the character ask game - Ray Vecchio, 1, 8, 12, and 22 <3

Yessss I am always here to talk about Ray, thank you!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Idek man, I imprinted like a duckling or something. I love everything about him. Love his loud mouth, his loud clothes, the armani, the shift between the two fashions, the big nose and green eyes, love his dickishness and complaining, love his selflessness and steadfastness and how they go hand in hand with the complaining, love his family and his shitty dad backstory and his zuko backstory and his childishness with Frannie and his catholicism, love that he will always put his loved ones before anything else he cares about and Fraser gets the highest priority position, love how the show constantly seamlessly shifts from two dimensional cartoon to deep and thoughtful characterization with him as well as Fraser.

I love how he's skeptical but intrigued by Fraser anyway and always ends up convinced by him, love how he was burnt out at first but gets promoted in season 2, love how he vanishes from Fraser's life for the sake of duty, essentially, in what could be read as an ironic consequence for Fraser, love that he'll do absolutely anything for Fraser and feels unappreciated for it because Fraser doesn't prioritize him, love that they get closer and closer to resolving this issue but Ray leaves before it can fully happen.

Character of all time for me.

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Ohhhhh boy. I mean I can't stand people characterizing him as Fraser's mean ex of course, but it's pretty rare that I ever saw that because I couldn't get into the season 3/4 side of fandom. Anything that characterizes him as physically abusive in general, which ime pretty squarely rests on italian stereotypes (not cop statistics when every character is a cop) since iirc he never uses violence impulsively in the show - it's always a deliberate choice he makes in the line of duty as part of the cop show format - and the show specifically contrasts him with his abusive father that way. (Though I may make an exception for very thoughtful post Vegas characterization that takes his actual depiction on the show into account.)

Even just like, eg this one Ray/Ray fic I once read where they got into a mutual physical fight kind of bugged me lol because I legit don't think Ray V would.

Among F/V shippers, I really loathe the headcanon that Ray shot Fraser on purpose either consciously or subconsciously. I can respect the attempt for more conflict and angst in theory, but I will die on the Ray V defense hill lol, and he would never. He was clearly aiming for Victoria, we saw that from his point of view in the scene itself, and Fraser deliberately took the bullet to shield Victoria. He sees where Ray's aiming, he runs faster to reach her in time, and Letting Go parallels it with Ray V taking a bullet for Fraser. He also casually protests that it was an accident when they're both over the drama in the tag, which would never happen if that wasn't the case.

12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character?

He wouldn't exactly describe himself as bisexual, but Fraser isn't the first guy he's been with. He had a thing with a bff in high school or college, and because his priority system goes: loved ones > abstract ideals, he doesn't feel guilty about it. Bff is gay, bff isn't bad or disgusting or whatever else, therefore gay sex is fine, at least with him. If asked he might still say it's a sin in general, but Ray absolutely has loopholes for people he cares about.

And if Fraser is his first then again, Fraser takes priority and Ray doesn't even have a sexuality crisis. Oh, Fraser is into men? Totally fine, it's Fraser, and he's never refused Fraser anything before so why should he start now? Especially when he looks so good in the brown uniform.

Relatedly I also envision a backstory scene where he once drove Frannie to an abortion clinic, casually bitched about it on the way accidentally triggering Frannie's guilt and making her cry, then instantly switched to pro-choice talking points that he'd always dismissed before to reassure her.

22. If you’re a fic reader, what’s something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don’t like?

I love that it's not an uncommon characterization choice to have Ray just bypass internalized homophobia because Fraser takes precedence over all that. Love fic where Ray is attracted to Fraser and knows it, however he deals with it. I love post-canon F/V fic a LOT. Give them their happy reunion and happily ever after!!!

Honestly I'm surprisingly easy for Ray V fic in general, it's pretty rare to find characterization that annoys me. Even if I disagree, I'll usually still buy in for the duration. I love fic where Ray V is there <3 Like, I'll read het fic for him. I read basically every Ray V/Stella fic out there ffs, just for Ray. That should tell you something lmao.

Something I don't like - well there's everything I complained about for question 8 lol. I don't like when fic writers buy into the bitching and moaning and miss the selfless devotion, but that's pretty rare in Ray-centric fic, it's more when he's a side character or just part of Fraser's backstory.

More commonly, I don't like when Fraser wants to get together and Ray pushes him away at first because of internalized homophobia. I'll still read it, but like, I'll be shaking my head the whole time lol.

And lastly, I don't have impassible top/bottom preferences for F/V, but I can't read anything kinky where Ray doms lol, pure personal bias there.

ask meme

[wulfhalls]

(im just a movie fan) ik u dont ship them bc u think they could/should end up together lmao but, do u really think paul x jessica is the most plausible incest ship in dune? bc personally as someone whos only watched the movie, it seems like paul, even before everything goes down, has a sort of unease towards his mother and the bene gesserit ways she pushes onto him (idk if im reading it completely wrong, its been a while since ive seen the first movie). and the resentment only increases in the second movie in a way where i wonder if paul will be able to even speak to her without screaming at her in movie 3 lol. although they did have some INSANE chemistry dont get me wrong.

on the other hand, i feel like paul, from the movies at least, has some level of devotion with Leto, and leto obvi loves his son the most in the world. and ive also come across these book excerpts ppl have been posting, and it seems like the paul/leto relationship is even deeper in the books bc from the excerpts it seems that leto makes a point to confide in paul to prepare for dukedom, which is like a responsibility only those two can understand with each other. and then i remember an excerpt i saw where paul is the last memory that leto remembers before his death, which i thought heartbreakingly sweet (does paul gain that memory after taking the water of life?). Paul just loved him soo much the fact that hes starting the holy war bc some part of him just wants his father back its like insane and a lot. anyway idek what i'm saying anymore just that all the relationships in this story are great and rife with potential.

last sentence really sums it up! all relationship dynamics are deeply compelling here! I don't think this boils down to with which parent paul had the objectively "better" relationship with tho. for me pauljessica is more interesting because well first of all we just get more time with them. more time to explore that tension speaking strictly from a movie pov here (because in the books jessica giving leto a son is framed more as a decision made out of love that echos down the millennia even 5k years later and less stemming from her desire to bring forth the kwisatz haderach even tho it certainly is also an element at play) that mary/jesus imagery is just so potent! bearing a son u will lose to the world to his destiny but on purpose!! u did this to him! u made that choice! u wanted to bear the saviour and u did! but he's ur child and u love him u love him more than anything but his path is set and u did this and now what. u prepare him u train him u make him so he'll survive because he is urs and if the world burns? so what? as long as he is alive to rule over it does it matter? the way he was so tender and loving and protective of her pre water of life. that's his mother (and sister)!!!!! the only thing he has left of who he was!!!! his maker (in more sense than one)!! and having jessica emerge as this almost empty vessel for the other memory to flow through. to inhabit with only glimpses of what used to be his mother.......... delicious. he loves her he hates her she is his enemy his only respite his maker and his undoing. I love drama

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Kachina’s name is funny

Its 2 am and i cant stop thinking about this and i need to get it out bc every single time i look at her name i think of this and can’t even enjoy the storyline aaaaaa lmao

So! We’ve seen that genshin has a history of making up the most bizarre names ever, like idek what happened after inazuma or if sumeru’s names are this funny (idk much about the region it’s inspired in so forgive me for being uneducated), BUT, i do know this: there’s a poor npc in fontaine literally called Book, just Book, wtf genshin, there’s a lot of npcs and pplcalled weird things, and with Natlan that’s wven more obvious that while genshin team does great stuff for plotlines and inspiration for each region, they just say WHATEVER WHEEEEE for names. Bc, who calls themselves/their children Boba? Like wtf?! I’m not even mad about it just why??

I play the game in spanish btw, and Boba is like calling yourself silly or stupid, a friend told me that the English equivalent was also something along those lines so we know this is on purpose? Again wtf lmao

Then there’s the npc called Umi, isn’t that ocean in japanese? And said npc is from the ocean tribe dont get me wrong, if we want to make an accurate “inspiration” from America (America is a continent, ill throttle the person that says its a country thanks) it makes sense to have lots of names that come from different places bc we do have a mix of cultures that resulted in today’s life, but it doesn’t make any sense in Natlan’s whole description, bc these ppl are described as ppl that don’t go out of their country at all? They do receive visitors and i imagine one or two would probably want to stay but it’s still strange, noted, Umi is not the only strange name i’ve seen but i dont keep a notebook with all of genshin’s lore/plot/naming/etc holes bc i would have to make it a full time job. So far a couple things make no sense to me, BUT ALSO! Natlan is culturally rich and filled with stuff i approve, i mean, i like it so far, the legends, myths and way of interaction between characters is rivh and meaningful, i especially loved a quest about a shadow needles bc it felt like revisiting old myths from my memory!

the main quest relating to Kachina is also very interesting and despite it being complete fiction, the way the underworld is constructed is also reminiscent of myths and legends - ik its not called underworld, sorry, its 2am i forgot the name - that place felt to me like one of the scary tales ppl traditionally tell each other but with a very Teyvat element mixed in, and that’s good in my book

there’s also the apparent mix of maya, inca and aztecas in culture and storytelling? And its also true that America has more stories about wars and warriors known to ourselves and the rest of the world? I’d probably have much more to say about this if i had slept, but there are no towns named Fighting soul in my country for no reason, which i find funny and sad af bc wars are shitty excuses to steal and do awful awful things, but whatever. There’s also the way they captured the behavior of ppl in the coasts, kudos to them for that, obviously things irl are not always that good or pretty and some parts of America do have a lot of poverty bc corruption is also shit, but it is true that ppl (i’ve met) in the coast is much mote laidback than in the city, more prone to random music and parties and dancing, big big parties too, the surf part i have never seen in my country so no comments there

some stuff (like the food) is a bit so so for me (im still wondering where shrimp tacos were invented wtf, there’s also too much corn which i find hilarious), and im not even gonna talk about the saurian stuff bc his post is already long enough without talking about Kachina

anyways! in general i really liked it.

now, why is Kachina a weird name for me?

Bc my mother tongue is Spanish

the thing is, idk how many countries with spanish as their main language would have this two problems (or three…maybe)

nunber 3 and less important is the K, it’s overused in Natlan and i find it funny bc many ppl here use the c instead, the k it’s actually more rare in names unless your name is Katheryn or unusual (i once heard the name Ikza and I believe its cool, just not common)…just a thought but: Quinich sounds too much like Quiche so that’s why ill allow Kinich but the qu is way more vommon

number 2 the Ka is just fine, but the China. I just…China is a countey and I can’t help but think of it! Especially bc in spanish it aounds the exact same

number 1 and my biggest concern wity her name, and this is way more personal but I JUST CANT UNSEE IT! In my country we sometimes refer to young ppl as chino or china which is also the way to call ppl from China (probably not coincide but I haven’t researched why this happened to the slang in the first place) so maybe when someone is not listening to you or when they are being tricky or hot headed its bot rare flr someone else to say “¡Este chino/a!” Like saying “this little troublemaker!” Or smth like “¡esta china no hace caso!” Which means “this girl won’t listen/obey!” You could even say “la china de allá” which would mean you are pointing to a girl that is most definitely not chinese but it’s in your field of vision

its not used to denigrate anyonebut it is commonly used as slang by both adults and kids, sometimes even elderly will use it but in more informal situations…

this is why, it feels so damn weird to keep reading and hearing Kachina, sometimes i think im reading ‘pa aca china” kinda “come here kid” and other times im reading the equivalent of ka-girl

I obviously don’t blame the developers or genshin team for not knowing this (i do blame them for Poisson-Fish, Livre-Book, Boba-Silly, etc etc) but i just cant unsee it, even in serious situations its so weirdly funny and awkward

im re-baptizing her Kachi in my mind

someone save me from this misery 😂😂😂😂

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.