#idek if this was the assignment but I had fun

[dizzyjelly]

Better Than Him(18+)

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: Your boyfriend Derek says something offensive about your bsf Abby, you get into a fight with him then Abby comforts you. Then she spends the night and you wake up after a spicy dream and you two get up to some fun.

Cw: rude bf, fighting, cheating, smut, thigh riding, pussy eating, slight overstimulation

It was a relaxing afternoon in your dorm as usual. You'd just been sat on your loveseat, your bestfriend Abby next to you. The both of you had been sitting in a comfortable silence for a while, when your phone buzzed. Abby glanced over for a second, trying to see who it'd been. But it wad out of her view. She wasn't too worried though. You rolled your eyes with a light scoff.

"It's Derek, asking me to come over." You told her.

"Just tell him you're busy." She shrugged, continuing to scroll through tiktok on her phone.

"Yeah, yeah, already on it." You responded.

Derek: Come over? I'm bored lol

You: Sorry, can't! Abbys hanging at my place rn

Derek: fr? Wtf

You: Wdym?

Derek: nothing. I just don't like her is all.

You: wth. Why.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your brows furrowing mostly with confusion and a bit of frustration. Sure, Derek never loved Abby, but he hadn't ever expressed negative feelings towards her before. Abby took notice to your change in demeanor, but decided not to say anything. Not yet at least.

It bothered you, what he'd said. Because she was your best friend after all. You guys had known each other since middle school, and he know how inexplicably close you were.

"Derek's being weird." You announced with a sigh as he typed.

"How?" Abby asked, setting her phone down as she leaned against the back of the couch and looked over at you.

"He said he didn't like you." You explained and looked back at her.

Immediately Abby felt confused, and a little annoyed. Because what the hell? She wasn't worried you'd choose him over her one bit, but it definitely bothered her hearing this. She tried to conceal the evident change in her mood, but you noticed anyways.

"Oh." Was all she said.

"I don't know what his fucking problem is." You responded, the frustration very evident in your voice.

Abby chewed at her thumbnail quietly as you were busy reading his response.

Derek: I mean she's honestly kind of a bitch and she's clearly obsessed with u lol. Idek why you're friends with her tbh.

You: you're kidding right? That is so fucking rude she's literally been my best friend for years how could u even say that?

You: I don't even wanna talk to you. Don't text me for a while.

Derek: what? Babe ur being dramatic, I'm just telling the truth.

And with that you silenced notifications from him and closed your messaging app. A bitter scoff fell from your lips as you shut your phone off and practically threw it into your lap. Abbys brows raised at this, intrigued at what he said to get you so upset.

"What? What did he say?" She asked, leaning closer to you.

"Nothing, don't worry about it. He's being an idiot. Let's just talk about anything else, please." You rolled your eyes, not even wanting to think about him.

Abby respected your wishes of course, instead talking about one of her class assignments. She ranted about how difficult it would be, and asked if you'd help her with it. You said yes of course. Then once she was bored of that she suggested watching a movie. You agreed and soon the two of you were under the covers in your bed, backs against the headboard.

You set your laptop up on your legs, giving each of you a nice and comfortable view. Abby would only ever suggest horror so you just let her pick the movie without sny protest. She settled on a movie called Lights Out. As per usual, you found yourself resting you head on her shoulder as you wrapped your hands around her forearm.

You always seeked comfort during scary movies, and she had no problem providing you with that. With every jumpscare you'd yelp and turn so your face was pressed against Abbys shoulder. She'd chuckled lightly at your scaredy-cat demeanor, which she'd tease you relentlessly for later. The movie was nearly over when somebody knocked at your door, you thought maybe it was your floor supervisor doing a check-in.

"Babe? Come on, please let me in." Then you heard his voice.

You let out an angry huff, pausing the movie and looking over at Abby. She crossed her arms as she sat uncomfortably, watching as you got uo reluctantly to answer the door.

"What? I said I didn't wanna talk to you." Your tone was harsh as you answered the door.

"I know I just-" he stopped when he caught a glimpse of Abby, in your bed, "she's still here? And why is she in your bed? What the fuck!" He exclaimed.

"Oh my God. We were watching a movie! Now what do you even want?" You asked, already beyond annoyed.

"Well, I just came to try and reason with you." He answered.

"Ok and how are you gonna do that? What you said way completely insulting, I'm not gonna hear you out on this." You chuckled bitterly, turning around and walking into your room more.

Unfortunately he'd followed you in, Abby had moved to the edge of your bed now. She was nervous, never having seen the two of you fight before. She'd only heard of arguments from you, never actually witnessed it firsthand.

"Come on, you have to admit there was some truth to what I said!" He yelled, having closed your door behind him.

"There's really not though! Not in my eyes at least, don't you have anything else to say?" You asked, clearly expecting an apology.

"Like what? If you're looking for a sorry I'm not giving you one." He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He stood his ground, crossing his arms as he was frozen in place. You sighed, bringing a hand to your face, resting it over your eyes. Abby stood now, coming to your side. Derek scoffed at this.

"Hey, it's fine." She whispered in your ear, a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

"No it's not. I just want him out." You whispered back as you turned to face her, biting your lip nervously.

"Then just kick him out." She shrugged.

Your turned back around to face Derek, crossing your own arms as you stepped closer to him. He smiled at you smugly, clearly expecting something very different than what you were about to say.

"You need to leave. Get out, now." Your voice was stern.

"What? You're not serious." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, I am. Just get the fuck out. I don't want you here!" You shouted at him now, throwing your arms into the air frustratedly.

"Whatever man." He rolled his eyes, exiting and slamming the door shut behind him.

A deep sigh fell from your lips as you felt exhausted and drained. You sat on your loveseat once again, your head falling into your hands as tears welled in your eyes. It wasn't really the fact you argued with him, you just felt overwhelmed. Which was the worst for you.

Abby frowned as you started to cry, sitting close next to you as she brought an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into her almost immediately, wrapping your arms around her and she did the same. She rubbed at your back soothingly as you cried into her chest.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine ok? I'm here." She spoke softly, and you just nodded.

Eventually you calmed down, and of course because Abby helped you. She'd offer to stay the night, which you enthusiastically agreed to. You'd give her a t-shirt to borrow, and she'd just leave her basketball shorts from the day on. Then you got yourself changed, comfortable in just panties and an oversized t-shirt that was just long enough to reach past your ass.

You let her get into bed first, shutting off the light then laughing as you practically fell on top of her when you got into bed. She laughed too, feeling her cheeks burn red hot at the feeling of your body against hers in such an intimate way. Her hands found their easy to rest on the small of your back, your own resting on her shoulders.

She thanked the lord you'd shut off the light because otherwise she's sure you'd see how hard she was blushing. Or how she bit her lip so damn hard it nearly bled. After a moment, you rolled over and face the wall.

"Go to bed you goof." You whispered out, pulling your blanket to your chin.

"Good night." Was Abbys response as she lied down, facing you.

"Night." You responded, closing your eyes.

You'd fall asleep in no time, meanwhile Abby was having trouble. She just stared at your back, the way your hair fell on your shoulders. It was hard to not let her mind wander to not so clean places. Not like she's never thought about you in that way before, but this time felt different.

You two had cuddled before sure, but something about earlier felt so much more tense. The way you didn't say anything, just lied there. Then she thought about Derek. She knew you guys had sex before, but just the though of it disgusted her.

Realistically, Abby knew she could give you so much better. But she wasn't even sure if you liked girls. And if you did, why would you like her? You were just best friends after all, and making things romantic could just ruin everything. She was willing her mind to shut off now, tossing and turning uncomfortably. Then she heard you gasp awake.

"Y/n? You ok?" She asked, turning to face you once again.

"Yeah, yeah. Just had a nightmare is all." You answered, breathing a bit heavily as you turned to face her.

"Aw, sorry." She brought a hand to rest on your shoulder.

"Thanks." You brought your hand to your shoulder as well, resting it atop hers.

"Do you wanna talk about it or anything?" She asked.

"No, no. Actually would you- could you just hold me?" You asked, your voice shaking the slightest with nerves.

"Yeah, of course." Abby answered, which had a sigh of relief falling past your lips.

She pulled you into her side, and you wasted no time in wrapping your arms around her as you buried your face into her. And then, you hiked your leg up over her own. Abby swore she might stop breathing as she could feel the material of your panties against her bare leg. It was like something out of a wet dream.

She wrapped her arms around you as her mind went wild. It took all her willpower not to ask to fuck you right then and there, but she managed. The both of you fell asleep within the next hour.

Usually when you'd cuddle with Abby, you'd sleep throughout the night. But tonight was different. You woke up at nearly two in the morning, trying to catch your breath and wondering why you felt so weird. Then you realized, you had a sex dream... about Abby! What the hell!

This was new and very surprising. You wouldn't expect that in a million years. Well, maybe that's a stretch, but still. It was hard not to notice how wet you were, surely a spot had formed on your panties by now. You let out a low whine as you nuzzle your face into Abbys neck, your lips pressed against the side of it.

"Abbyyy. Abby wake up." You whined, shaking her lightly by holding onto her shoulder.

You waited as she finally stirred awake, groaning as her hand rested on your back. She closed her eyes as she talked to you.

"What?" She asked, tired.

"Abby don't go back to sleep. I- I need you." You stuttered as you spoke, feeling embarrassed.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Her eyes were definitely open now.

"Like- I need you." You let out a small whimper.

Abby soon got your message loud and clear as you started to kiss along her neck, leaving one hickey for good measure. Her breath hitched as you continued, kissing along her jaw ten making your way to her pulse point. A low moan came from her as you began to lightly suck and nip at it.

"Y/n, I don't know if this is a good id-" You put a hand over her mouth as you began to straddle her, your hair falling so it tickled the sides of her face.

"Come on Abby. Let's just help each other out. It can be a one time thing if you want." You whispered in a sultry voice.

"Fuck, ok." She did not want it to be a one time thing, but she'd be damned if she didn't let this happen right now.

Abby brought her hands to your waist, and you leaned forward to connect your lips to her own. She let her hands roam your body as you deepened the kiss, moaning into her mouth when she slipped her tongue into yours. The way she swirled it around your own drove you crazy, it felt like you were seeing stars.

You let out a sigh as you sat up, throwing your head back with pleasure as Abby squeezed your plump ass. She then moved her hands to your thighs, moving them so that you only straddle her left thigh. You bit down at your bottom lip, a smile on your face as you stabilized yourself by putting your hands on her chest.

Ever so slowly, Abby began to grind your hips. It put a delicious pressure to your clit, even through your panties. It didn't take you long yo remove them though, your bare cunt now gliding beautifully against her upper thigh. She'd flex it every so often, causing you to moan even louder than you already were. Abby smiled, letting out a small groan at the feeling of your slick gathering on her thigh.

"Fuckkk Abby~ you dont even know h-how long I've wanted th-this." You stuttered on your words as her hand remained on your hips, continuing to help you as you grinded against her.

"Tell me about it." She chuckled, admiring you as your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hung open.

You brought your hands to Abbys shoulders now, your vocabulary consisting only of abbys name and a few curses. Given you weren't really talking much, mostly moaning pathetically as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your release. A few more minutes passed and you knew if Abby kept going you'd cum.

"I'm gonna-" You moaned loudly, cutting yourself off, "gonna cum." You whined, gasping lightly.

"It's alright baby, go ahead. Come on, cum for me." She helped you continue as your hips stuttered.

And when you finally came, it was like you'd gone to heaven and back. You'd never felt this euphoric with anyone before. Abby smiled at you as you came down from your high, a small laugh falling past your lips.

You let out a quiet whine as you let your head fall to rest on her shoulder, her arms wrapped around you as you stayed sat in place. Abby rubbed her hands up and down your back, placing kisses along your cheek and down to the side of your neck.

"We done or did you wanna keep going?" She whispered.

"I definitely don't wanna stop." You whispered back, pulling your head up to kiss her on the lips.

Then you began to kiss her jaw, and down her neck. You went all along her collarbones, your hands running up and down her sides. You gazed up at her with a smile, brining your hands to the hem of her shirt and waiting for the ok. She nodded and lifted her arms, you pulled her shirt off and tossed it somewhere on the floor.

You brought your hands immediately to her tits, squeezing them gently then rolling her hard nippled between your fingers as you kissed down between them. You couldn’t help but laugh as you got her tummy and blew a raspberry on it. She laughed too.

"Wh- did you just blow a fuckin' raspberry down there?" She asked as she propped her elbows up on either side of herself.

"Maybe..." You answered shyly, chuckling.

"Just be quiet and let me do this." You spoke with some authority now.

"Yes ma'am.." She answered, closing her eyes as her head fell to rest on your pillows.

You'd kissed all the way down to the waistband of her shorts, looking up once again and waiting until she nodded before pulling both them and her panties off in one swift motion. Abby let out a deep moan as you licked a slow stripe up through her folds, collecting the majority of her slick onto the tip of your tongue. You groaned at the delightful taste of her.

Her moans grew louder as you wrapped your lips around her clit, sucking harshly before drawing figure 8's on it with the tip of your tongue. Then you shifted so you could bring a hand up, easily sliding in your middle and ring finger into her aching hole. Her breath stuttered as you curled your fingers, perfectly hitting her g-spot while continuing your assault on her clit.

Abbys hands gripped the sheets so hard her knuckles turned white, and she felt that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Unable to control herself, she jerked her hips forward and grinded onto your face. You let out a small moan, the vibration sending an entire new wave of pleasure to the blonde girl.

Her thighs closed instinctively as she reached her high, and you let them. Her chest rose and fell at a fast pace as she moaned and gasped through her blinding orgasm.

"Oh- God. I fucking love you Y/n." She moaned and your heart skipped a beat.

You didnt stop even after she came, until she used a hand to push you away, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. You listened, pulling back with a sigh.

"Mm, fuck. Get up here and kiss me." Abby spoke breathlessly.

You listened immediately, crawling over top of her as you caged her between your arms. Your hands placed on the sheet as you leaned forward and sloppily kissed Abby. She whined at the taste of herself on your tongue, brining her hands to the back of your neck and tangling them in your hair. Once you pulled away your used the back of your hand to wipe her juices from your chin.

"Abby... I love you too." You spoke as you rested your forehead against hers.

She laughed, her hands now coming to hold your face lovingly. Her laughter was infectious as ever, causing small giggles to fall past your lips as well. You continued to giggle as she kissed each of your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your forehead, and then finally your lips.

"I'm gonna go get a washcloth, mkay?" You told her, already standing to make your way tonthe bathroom.

You came back to find Abby pulling her shirt back on. She smiled at you as you walked over to her, wiping both her thigh and between her legs. Then you cleaned yourself before tossing the washcloth into your hamper then putting a new pair of panties on. Abby put her own back on, letting her shorts stay on the floor.

Abby ran her hands through her hair, waiting for you to join her back into bed. She layed on her side and held her arms out for you. You wasted no time in curling up against her, wrapping your arms around her and nuzzling your face into her neck. Abby held you and rubbed your back until you both fell asleep again.

[starscelly]

here is a question: if you had to assign every player on the stars (minus the gross ones or those who you do not know Like That) a musical

instrument for them to play who would get what? can be completely realistic or just what you want in your heart of hearts and also double ups are fine not everyone has to get a different one

i am inclined to give all the flying stars their instruments… so they may keep those (miro - bass, roope - guitar/vocals, otter - drums, robo - guitar)

actually i wanna give robo a keyboard. so he can have that as well i’ve decided. a stupid electronic one that he can make meow or whatever. also otter ur hands are so big and u are so dramatic . pipe organ for you as well my boy… is pipe organ the name idek. the big ones they have in church

i’ve also given wyatt a cheesy acoustic guitar before and he will ALSO be keeping that. he’s serenading delly over facetime like idk he’s a loser he’s playing wonderwall

tsegs can have a series of a variety of guitars that he keeps buying because he’s Gonna Learn For Sure but never does. he also makes really bad beats on like garage band

i want tharls on a BANJO. NOW. will not be explaining further.

can i give stank a goofy wind instrument. give this man the clarinet or something. he needs to feel embarrassed about something he picked in 6th grade

dutchy is just cringe and sincere enough for a UKULELE!! take him down to the riptide or whatever

mush… he loves to destroy so much i need him on the MOST classical instruments for the dichotomy. first instinct is violin because it’d be silly but cello feels better in my soul?

esa gets a viola because he’d be beautiful playing it. i think i also made him a bassist in my Deeper Flying Stars Lore but we can’t discuss this right now

nils can have a kazoo because i think he’d have fun and annoy everyone with it <3 and i think i’ll leave that all there <3

[cherry1sblog]

My collage roommate

YJW!!

Summary:u entered collage everything was going amazing u had your bsf with u but there was one problem ur collage roommate… (also there is a plot twist about heeseung and jungwon there not as close as u think)

Warnings:cursing kissing (WILL EVENTUALLY BE A SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME -also tell me if I missed any this

It was your first day at dark blood university and it was going pretty well even if u weren’t going to share a dorm with your bff it just gave you another opportunity to make a new friend…or so u thought

\\TIME SKIP//

Your in-front of your new dorm from the lay out u were sent it didn’t seem small so u were happy there was a lot of space as you take your keys and jiggle it in the nob the door opens and it a guy he’s tall handsome and has broad shoulders “oh hey i think u have the wrong dorm “ u look at him confused “what do u mean this is dorm 38 right “he looks at u also confused “well yeah but your a girl and girls and guys don’t share dorms so maybe your mistaken”ur really confused now u thought that your roommate was a girl so u call the front desk

A little later

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS MY DORM”

“Yes miss u are supposed to be in that dorm there’s none left so he will be your knee dorm mate “

“WA-“

Line disconnects

“STUPID BITCH UGH”

……

The boy has wide eyes and is still in the same position “Welp i Gusse were roomies I’m jang y/n “u put your hand out he looks at it and u look at him confused until he also grabs his hand out “Yang jungwon”

Now u were eating for him to move but he’s just staring

“Hey uh can u move ur in the way” “oh shit my bad do u uh want help ”

“Sure…

\\LATER THAT NIGHT//

You finally finished unpacking and jungwon seemed to have left awhile ago witch left u some time to explore the dorm

**RING RING**

“Hello” “Y/N” “oh soyeon u will not bel-*

“YOUR ROOMMATES WITH YANG JUNGWON “

Confused u just say yeah

“OMFG ITS ALL OVER SCHOOL ALREADY PEOPLE ARE EVEN TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS ROOMMATE IS A GIRK PEOPLE THINK U PAYED YOUR WAY TO SHARE A DORM WITH HIM “

“WHAT TF SRE U TALKING ABOUT IDEK HIM”

Silence on the other end confused u turn up your volume maybe something happened and but oh how u wish u would have not turned it up

“YOUR TELL ME YOU DONT KNOW WHO TF YANG JUNGWON IS GURL YOU ARE LITERALLY THE DUMBEST GURL EVER “

“How am I going to know him WHEN U JUST KEEP FUCKING YELLING ABT HIM “

Your very confused on why this is such a big deal and why people would even be talking about this you had no idea who jungwon even was and confused as to why your friend even cares so much

“Ohhh rightt haha “

“Girl bye “

You hung up annoyed with your friend u we’re getting hungry so u decided to go out to get something from the convince store your putting on your shoes and just then jungwon comes through the door u look at him and he was covered in rain u didn’t know it was raining

“Oh jungwon your wet “

He just looks down at u and walks past u bumping your shoulder leaving u confused as to why he was being mean now well he wasn’t exactly nice either in the beginning

\\FIRST DAY//

you were walking to your first class already not believing your in college now your morning started good jungwon wasn’t there so u didn’t have to worry about being to loud but u haven’t seen soyeon so u walked alone all the way to your first class and just sat in a random spot until a boy who was super tall and was wearing glasses although they didn’t have a lens

“Excuse me “

“Yes?”

“Your in my spot “

U look around and u didn’t know that there was assigned seats everyone seemed to pick there own

“OMG”

“IM SO SORRY I RRALLY DIDNT KNOW”

“It’s m-“

He starts laughing and his glasses start to fall so he takes them off u were confused why he was laughing

“I’m just kidding u looked new so i just thought messing with u would be fun”

“Oh”

U didn’t know if u were mad or not I mean it was just a joke and it’s your first day but then he says something

“Oh also this is a class for people in there 2nd and 3rd year ?”

“Oh I passed all my classes about this even the first one in high school so I get to take the 2nd one instead of the first one “

He looks at u and shock u giggle a little

“Well I’m heeseung Lee heeseung “

“Y/n jang y/n” u shook his hand and u guys sat down as the lesson began

\\AFTER CLASS//

“So y/n what are u gonna do now”

“Mmm I wanted to go get food hbu”

“Same I’ll show u the way”

U followed him

U got into the cafeteria and heeseung went to go sit at a table with 6 other boys u didn’t know what to do so u just stood

“Y/n don’t be scared they won’t bite “

U kinda giggle and sat down until u looked up and saw jungwon

“Wait your names y/n”

A boy who seemed to have an accent asked u

“Oh yeah why?”

“So your the girl who jungwon is stuck with”

Another boy said he was very handsome I mean they all were

U look up to see jungwon glaring at the boy

“YAH”

“Okay calm down let’s not get into a fight okay”

Heeseung said

“I’ll introduce u to them “

“The one with the accent is Jake he’s super smart in physics witch he’s way to upsesed with “

U snort

“Hey physics is a great subject “

Jake seemed sassy and super defensive about physics witch u found funny

“Then the one with the silver hair is sunghoon he has a lot of fan girls but is super awkward “

“Your just mad y don’t get bitches like I do “

“Dw SUNGHOON I get my fair share”

U analyze sunghoon longer noticing the beautiful moles on his face the way his hair was nicely styled he seemed very put together

“Anyway then there’s the giant baby Niki he’s really umm how should I put it-

“I’m obviously so amazing kind handsome beauti-

“Anyway then there’s sunoo and jay if u need any advice I would suggest sunoo and if u wanna rip your ears out from dad jokes I’d ask jay”

“Hey my dad jokes are funny”

“No there not not at all so just shhh “

The red haired boy sunoo said he seemed very bubbly and kind it made u want to smile all the time he was like a big ray of sunshine and u loved it

“And obviously you know jungwon “

Jungwon didn’t even bother to look at u not even for a second and just as u we’re about to ask jungwon soemthing he got up from his chair leaving u in dismay

“Do u and jungwon have an issue or something “

Jake has asked u u looked at him confused

“No why do u ask”

He looked over at the boys making u confused

“Well uh it’s nothing really I mean he just left the table and he’s been talking about being annoyed with having to share a dorm with you”

U felt a little hurt even tho u didn’t know the boy he already had so much hatred for u when it was something u couldn’t even control

“Y/N!!!”

U heard a familiar voice so u turned around it was soyeon you ran up to her and gave her a hug

“How’s your first day of collage so far”

“Uh it’s good this is my new friend heeseung and his freinds “

She smile and then pulls u aside

“Y/n u do realize that people have been looking at u and your hanging out with the 6 most popular boys “

“Huh wha-“

“Wait these are just six WHERES jungwon “

“Idk he left like 5 min ago “

She looked at you weird but I guys just went to sit down and had the rest of your lunches and went to your other periods during the time u sat with them u figured out u shared 3 periods with jungwon witch made u want to kys but that was okay cause heeseung was in all your periods and some of the other boys

//TIME SKIP TO THE DORM\\

U finished lots of chores in the dorm doing u and Jungwons laundry mostly his cleans the kitchen so u went to go shower and when you had just gotten out of the shower u had just some shorts and an over sized t-shirt u went to the living room to go watch on the tv and while u were sitting there jungwon came out

“Hi jungwon”

U said he looked at u but didn’t say anything feeling embarrassed u got up and wanted to leave to your room

“Wait-“

U turned around

“I’m uh gonna order pizza do u want some”

Even tho he’s been an ass this was free food and EVERYONE LOVES FREE FOOD so u agreed

//time skip to lovely free food\\

The pizza got there jungwon had also bought some sodas to witch u were greatful for not sure wether to speak or not but just as u we’re about to he spoke

“Hey thanks for doing my laundry u didn’t have to”

“Don’t sweat it we’re roomies we should make the most of it right”

“Yeah ig “

He smiled a little u haven’t seen him smile once scince you’ve been his dorm mate but u still wanted to ask him a question

“Hey jungwon “

“Yeah”

“Did I um do something wrong “

“No why “

“Then why do you seem to hate me “

“Who Said I hated u “

“No one it’s just your so cold to me all the time do idk I was just wondering “

He looked down at his hands and then he looked at u

“I don’t hate u I’m just not good with conversations sometimes and I mean I was pissed that I had a girl as a roommate but u don’t seem to bad now “

U smiled at him and punched his arm playfull and he hissed

“Yah why’d you do that”

“Well u were being kinda a jerk so I think u deserve it kinda “

“Fair”

//skip to afternoon\\

U went out by yourself to go shopping and to go see this cafe you’ve been wanting to go to near campus it’s a really cute place you could take pictures at so u went u were ordering your drink and as u went to sit down u saw someone familiar out side threw the glass it was jungwon and a girl they both seemed mad but jungwon seemed more angry he was about to say something but then he looked threw the coffee shop and saw u u quickly go up to go see if your order was done u didn’t go sit back I. The same area u moved obviously but just then u heard someone come in thrue the door it was jungwon won you quickly put your head down but u heard footsteps come near u

A knock on the table made u look up you saw jungwon infront of u and u giggled nervously

“So u saw what happened “

“Whattt I didn’t see anything matter afact I actually don’t even have on my glasses so I ca-

“Don’t be dumb I know u did “

U put your head down worried u would be yelled at

“I’m sorry I wasn’t sure what was going on I couldn’t help but look”

“It’s fine”

“Do u mind if I ask who she was”

He looked away and his jaw was flexed u thought it was a bad idea to ask so u felt bad for asking

“Uh she was my ex “

“Oh”

He just nodded

U felt bad that he was arguing with his ex but if they were exes u were wondering why they were even talking and met up

“Hey jungwon “

He just bumped his head up

“I know we’re not freinds but if u are exes why’d u meet up”

“Wow we’re not freinds”

U started at him in confusion at the same time as being flustered

“I-I don’t know I just assumed yk”

“Assumed what “

“That we weren’t entirely freinds yet “

He just sucked his lip and nodded u felt bad that u made him probly feel bad

“If u want I can buy u something after this I was gonna start getting ready to go to a party idk he u know who’s throwing it “

“Yeah sure but the guy who’s throwing it is my freind u do know that “

“Oh really ur freinds with sunoo!”

“Mhm me jake Sunghoon sunoo jay heeseung and Niki have been freinds scince middle school “

“Ah I didn’t know that but your all diffrent ages “

“Yes but not by a lot”

“Also do u mid if I ask u somthing y/n”

“Sure what is it”

“U and heeseung are u guys like a thing”

U laughed at his question and he just looks confused and concerdthat u were laughing at that u stoped laughing cause u noticed him not talking

“No why would be were just freinds but he’s super nice why do u ask”

“Oh nothing just cause heeseung dosent Like to talk to many girls “

U were a bit taken back by the comment cause if heeseung didn’t talk to many girl than why would he be talking to u…

//SKIP TO PARTY\\

U and jungwon went separate u went with soyeon and he left a little more early to help sunoo set up cause just from knowing him for 3 days he’s the most extra person so u just know his party was gonna be amazing and u weren’t wrong as soon as u were outside there sorority house there was loud music party streamers outside and walking threw the door was another thing but everything In there was absolutely amazing

“YAH JANG y/n “

“Soyeon the next time U FUCKING YELL AT ME IM GOING TO SEW YOUR MOUTH SHUT TALK LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON “

“Sorry it’s just jungwon hasn’t stoped looking at u scince u got here “

U look where she’s looking but as soon as u do jungwon is Look somewhere eles

“Choi soyeon the next time u say something dumb like that I’ll kill u now lemme go find the drinks and u go dance”

U wanderd a little bit admiring the decorations sunoo and everyone eles had put up you accidentally bumped into someone’s chest

“Oh sorry”

It was heeseung

“No need to be sorry sunoos decos are killer huh “

“Yeah there superrrr amazing”

“Anyway what are u doing”

“I’m trying to look for the drinks do u know where they are “

“Oh yeah follow me “

U follow heeseung into the kitchen where jake is and a couple of other people who are grabbing drinks and then leaving to go do something eles

“Ayooo y/n your here”

“Hey Jake what do u have to drink “

“Well I could go into detail about everything or I can just give u a beer “

“I’ll just take a beer “

“Perfect “

\\1HOUR LATER\\

U definitely had one to many drinks but we’re still okay heeseung was right by you but u went outside on the balcony for some fresh air heeseung followed to make sure u were okay being very aware at the fact your drunk u walked upstairs to the balcony and we’re just admiring the view until u noticed heeseung looking at you

“Hey y/n”

“Yeah”

“Can I kiss you”

“What”

U were very much confused as to why he would want to kiss u u scant lie tho heeseung is really handsome and all those drinks making him look even more desirable u kiss him and that tunes into a make out sesh until

“What the fuck “

U see Seoyeon and jungwon standing there but jungwon just grabs your wrist and takes u out side

“Ow jungwon”

He dosent Listen and your half way to his car

“Jungwon it hurts let go jungwon plea-

Someone grabs your other hand and u Gusse sit it was heeseung jungwon turns around looking mad

“Yo whyd u pull her Away “

“Cause didn’t I tell u to fucking stay away from her she’s not one of your toys “

“I Never Said she was now let’s just go back to the party “

They had both your wrist and it was hurting

“No we’re going home “

“ I think y/n can speak for herself “

Jungwon just glared at him

“Can u guys let go your hurting me”

They both let go and jungwon says something

“Yes she can speak for herself but not in this situation and when I told u all to stay away from her I fucking mean it especially u “

“And what if I don’t won mh what are you gonna do your still fucked up from yuji so how can u do anything with her”

“U ass u know maybe this is why people say your a jerk u can be nice but fucking stupid no wonder why all those girls you fucked never are around cause u push them away now stay the fuck away from y/n and we won’t have problems”

“We were just having fun anyway it wasn’t serious “

“Yeah it never is with u “

“You know what jungwon don’t be a pussy and just fuck her cause that’s what u want so bad right “

U didn’t know what to say everything about there conversation was confusing normally I knew what to come up with but here I didn’t u just wanted to melt away in a hole and never come out

Jungwon just grabed u and started to walked away until

“Yeah that’s right just walk away that’s why yuji never wanted to be with just walk away from all your problems that’s probly why she wouldn’t even have sex with u!”

He stoped and let go of your hand and the next thing u know he’s punching heeseung

“OMG JUNGWON”

…..

THERE WILL BE A PART TWO THIS WILL EVENTUALLY BE A SMUT BUT I THOUGHT I SHOULD LET U GUYS HAVE SOME PART AND NOT WAIT HELLA LONG

[bonesandthebees]

okay so like i was gonna just start on this tonight and get the general ideas down and finish this when i was Awake and Functioning but then i started rambling so uhhh jazz handss

take me describing the diff energies ur fics give off, i am sorry if this is uncomprehensible fjwaewf (is that even a word?? incomprehensible? ye-)

through a glass divine: DEFFFF rainy day vibes, the au feels very Elegant to me even though glass!wilbur himself is very much not, when I read glass I get the same vibes as being in a car /pos, it's comforting but can get intense at times, sometimes with no warning. like one minute your head is against the glass (heh, pun unintended lol), and ur looking out at the streetlamps, the next the breaks are SLAMMED and u get whacked against the seatbelt lmfaoooo (this is all /pos !! i love the angst lol)

world forgetting: FOGGG, that's the first thought that pops into my head, things are unclear first and it's a little eerie but there's also something comforting about it (i will use this word a lot bc . well ur writing is comforting hehehe), the first half of wf was very exciting, it reminded me of when i used to have my mcu marathons, edge of my seat, shoving popcorn into my face, and just glee, the first few chapters with wf especially with the combat made me so fucking giddy lmfaooo i had so much fun reading it, the second half was a lot more calm and melancholy, it was defff sitting on the couch while it rains outside vibes, like MM the hurt comfort?? give me a blanket and a pillow to squeeze bc hot damnn

stars and their children: stars man . hooweeee, this fic was binging a 12 season show vibes, you invest a lot into it and wow the emotional damage?? for real. this fic was late night rants at sleepovers, theorizing n coming up with silly conspiracy theories (i think this was when i really started reading the asks, so for me it has a lot of those vibes tied to it), when i read stars… i feel a lot of Awe. it feels big, it feels important, it also feels like im reading a very fancy novel from a very big library, like i feel like i've stepped into a massive multi-tiered library and plucked my favourite book from its shelf, i can imagine the hardcover being absolutely gorgeous, it gives me the same vibes as getting assigned a book to read in class and having your mind blown /pos from it, like "damn i understand why they make us read this bc wow"

(fun fact i have ur ao3 page bookmarked on my toolbar lmaoooo)

honey and tangerines: well . this one just gives me island and coastal vibes lolll u described them very well, but okay from a reading perspective? besides indie movie lmao. i'd say… hanging out with a friend you haven't seen in a while. it's familiar, it's bittersweet, it's thrilling. honey and tangerines gives me the vibes of doing something youve been wanting to for awhile but were always too scared to. pushing your boundaries. it's all those classic "finally living life vibes", staying out till 3 am, finally getting around to decorating your room, going on a roadtrip. when i read honey and tangerines, it feels like i'm experiencing life. all the prev fics either feel like novels or movies, but hats feels like life

what the water gave me: ngl when i read this i just feel such pure emotion that i cry like idek how to explain it man. it's so all encompassing /pos it does give me staying up late in my room with fairy lights vibes though, dunno why. just gives off that same warm energy

A DUSTY TOMB OMGGOJEAWE i need to reread that anyways

a dusty tomb: straight off the bat, playing dnd. dnd is so much fun and i have so many happy memories from it and a dusty tomb defff gives off those vibes, chaos, freeing, family. it also gives off the vibe of finding a piece of old writing in a buried notebook and reading it and going "wtf?? when did i write this this is amazing" maybe that's just bc it feels like u read my mind writing it lmao it's perfect i adore it so much and i have reread it an unholy amount of times, i just get the vibes of sitting criss cross on the floor and reading it, it's not necessarily a comfy position but it's enjoyable nonetheless, just a happy moment for oneself, it feels like giving yourself a treat, self care, all of that good stufff

no time confounds me: def feels like watching a tv show /pos, it def feels like smth i'd put on w my stepmom or my birth mom and just absolutely fucking Vibe to it bro, that fic is suchhh a vibe, i'd sink into my couch and get HOOKED, it also ofc brings w it all the vibes of just where i live LMAO, and the motorcycling reminds me of my dad <333 i miss motorcycling with him dawggg it's so much fun, but yeahhh. all the vibes described in the fic just make me want to go out for a hike in a forest lmao, i love it. also hot chocolate. this fic is defff drinking hot chocolate vibes

nocturnal animals: ooohh this one is defff late night vibes, working late on hw and looking out ur window and just taking a moment to appreciate the stars n stuff, also windy day vibes, this def feels like a novel my friend would shove at me to read and i'd be like "brooo i dont even LIKE vampires" and theyd be like "no bro just trust me" and then i'd be really bored one day so i'd pick it up and then get addicted . and then in this hypothetical series that has like a billion books i'd go to the library and borrow them all and binge them in a week lmfao, i love this fic sm ngl, i would proudly display this fic on my bookshelf (well i mean, i would literally display all of ur fics on my bookshelf KING i would have a shelf dedicated to ur fics 100%)

okay… i think those are all the main fics, there're a couple more that i've read but i am . getting really really reallyyy tired and idek if any of this is comphrensible lmfaooo 😭 😭 😭

i hope u enjoyed bee <333 tldr: i love ur writing and i have core memories attached to all of these fics and they are all special to me in their own way <33

ohhhh these are so cool to read icy (sorry it took me so long to respond I've been so busy lately)

lmao love all the drama in glass being compared to a car braking super suddenly. rainy car drives is definitely not the vibe I think it has in my head but that's super sweet to imagine :)

comparing stars to a Big Fancy Book makes me so happy thank you so much. I have this absolutely gorgeous fancy version of Dune with a stunning cover and I always imagine something kind of similar as the 'cover' for stars in my head so i love that you imagine that too

in contrast you and i feel the exact same about honey and tangerines. it's definitely that kind of bittersweet reconciling friendship vibe. saying it feels like life means so much thank you <33 thats exactly what I was going for

to me what the water gave me feels like swimming in a warm tropical ocean at night which might be a bit on the nose but yeah that's what I think of. but fairy lights in a room sounds so nice I love that

awww I love that idea for dusty tomb. just rereading something nostalgic and wonderful and feeling so comforted by it. that makes me smile a lot to imagine :)

hot chocolate and watching a tv show YEAHHHH you get it that's exactly what i was going for from no time confounds me. also that's so funny that you mention motorcycling with your dad bc that's where my descriptions of riding motorcycles comes from. my dad always used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle when I was a little kid, it was so much fun

oooo windy day for nocturnal animals is interesting but I love it. also god you saying it feels like a series with dozens of books reminds me of this vampire series i read in middle school that had like 10 books it's absolutely nothing like nocturnal animals but now I'm having a nostalgia trip thinking about it lol

thank you icy this was so sweet to read :)

[andthebubbles]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

tagged by @zenia-7 (eeeee i got tagged in something tysm!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22, but i hid some shit ones

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

231,660 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bridgerton atm

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All F1, as it turns out:

Summer Break (224 kudos) 😬

Driver Evaluation (220 kudos) 😮 (simi)

Our Endless Numbered Days (163 kudos) 🥰 (sewis but secretly simi)

The Art of Talking (or Lack Thereof) (154 kudos) 🙂 (sebson)

Six Feet From Ice (140 kudos) 😬

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, unless it's rude

I reply because someone took the time to comment, so I'm gonna take the time to reply. Also, comments make me so happy. (I'm just not very good at holding onto that happiness haha)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's a toss-up between The Ghost in These Halls and Our Endless Numbered Days. The first one is just... depressed Anthony never ever getting comfort (hurt no comfort eyyyyyy 😂😭), and the second one is... Seb revenge killing someone in front of his boyfriend soooOOOOO... not a good look Seb!!!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have loads of happy endings!!! I swear!!!!!

...idk, any of my fluff and/or crack fics I suppose

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far but I feel like on some future Bridgerton fic I will.................. this fandom is insane

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. Currently anyway. Not usually. But I got Thirsty. Very Thirsty.

Uhh 'what kind'? Idk. Filthy gay mlm smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No but what if I gif-blended Benedict and Tim from Fellow Travellers

Also i feel like a crossover of the cracky sort might've been co-written during like, high school days... but yeah nah it was just for fun.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Er.......... maaaaybe on wattpad? I vaguely remembed something like that happening to f1 fics, but idk/I can't remember if mine was popular enough to be stolen

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think someone asked me for some fic (eta: Driver Evaluation) but I never saw the result

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, for the Beatles. We also co-wrote a crack poem in the comments on LJ and it's still one of my favourite things ever

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

......I don't think I can pick one. I still like simi. And I like Anthony & Benedict, and Anthony/Benedict too, but more in the way that I ignore that they're brothers. A bit like shipping JB/LT, except I'm too lazy to learn enough about them to write them. (Tbh idek if I like them because I know nothing about them skjfngkfjngk) But also they're not as enticing as Anthony and Benedict's personalities. So like, it's kinda like, I have the knowledge that they're not actually brothers, and then just loving their dynamic.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I ALWAYS HAVE HOPE THAT I WILL FINISH MY WIPS

Though, the a&b modern AU fic (benedict the artist, i.e. the one where Anthony loves his brother's art from day one and becomes his biggest supporter (and makes him do his GCSE Art assignments for him)) has kinda stalled because I am reluctant to kill Edmund. Shockingly. But anyway I'm mentioning this because I still haven't gotten an ending for it. But then again I've hardly thought about it because I've been soooo distracted with a/b fic

16. What are your writing strengths?

It's kinda weird; when I started writing I got praised for my dialogue; nowadays I get praised for my descriptions. Does my dialogue suck now?! skjfgnkfjgnk

But the real answer is: writing action, like, ~this happens, then this, then... etc

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting into a character's head/the other character's head/trying to figure out what they think of some ~thing happening/trying to figure out what they know without my own knowledge interfering 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Don't do it if it's not obvious what it means, or if you don't immediately explain it. By the time I see it in the a/n I'm not scrolling back up

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Spirited Away

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I have a few... but for the effort put into it, and the uniqueness, and the time spent thinking about it, and agonising over it... AND the initial smoothness of it, how easy it was to write nearly 80k words in like 3ish months... gotta be sebis fic aka Our Endless Numbered Days :3

Tagging (you don't have to do it): @4xmulti21champion @wolfsbanesbite @suspendingtime @smooth-boob @lucktofate + anyone else who wants to do it

[pocima]

Assigning aespa members Reol songs because why not

In honor of aespa’s new EP MY World and Reol’s new single Glitter being released (and them being at similar times bc it makes my multi self happy), I wanted to share my ideas on the Reol songs that would suit the aespa girls the best 🫶🏻 stream them both for clear skin and serotonin

Starting with Karina, Utena is the song that goes to her. The badass energy, the raps, the lower range vocals and the choreo segments? Made for Karina. A full choreography would suit her incredibly well considering her dancing skills and attention to detail, and I don’t think I need to mention the singing (because have you seen Karina SING?) and brain-scratching pronunciation.

Next up is Giselle, and I believe she’d pull off insider flawlessly, and it’s not solely because she’s the main rapper and insider is quite rap-heavy, though her rap skills need to be showcased more (SM I’m looking at you). I live for the sheer sass in the second verse and it’s probably my favorite rap verse ever from Reol and the whole song makes it obvious she walked into the studio with something to get off her chest. Giselle can (and WOULD) reflect this, along with the sweeter and more airy vocal parts. The bridge honestly makes you wanna get up and POP SOME MOVES and DANCE, and Gigi could make use of the energy in that as well.

Moving on to Winter, I NEED her to cover Q? one way or another. Reol’s stronger, more piercing vocal delivery here matches Winter to a tee. Idek how to explain it at this point, please just listen to the song and try to tell me I’m wrong. The choreo would be hard-hitting and that’d be no issue for the amazing lead dancer. Besides, aespa could take notes from the song and do drum & bass for their own discography, right? Right, aespa producers?

Lastly we have Ningning, and of course I had to assign the group’s main slayer Dali, which is inarguably one of Reol’s most slayful songs. The whole song is this mix of confident and angry, and it’s still pretty upbeat and fun. Ningning would show off her MAIN VOCALIST title with the chorus, and let you take a peek at her rapping talent in the verses, as well as her dancing throughout the whole song. Additionally, Wake Up, Ningning’s solo song in their Synk Hyperline concert, reminded me of Dali, which further convinces me Reol had a very special SM trainee in mind while crafting it back in 2019-2020.

BONUS! WHEN will aespa cover un, deux, trois? The track is so magical, ethereal and could pass as a gateway between Kwangya and the real world, almost like a more down-to-earth take on Lucid Dream. The instrumentals, the heavenly vocals (I’ve mentioned vocals excessively in the post but it’s not my fault Reol and aespa can sing their hearts out), the overall atmosphere, PERFECT. And that interlude monologue???? Giselle, get to work immediately. aespa, I hope all of you girls become aware of Reol’s discography and share your takes on it someday. Someday. I hope.

If anyone actually read through this LONG, slightly cringe-worthy post, thankies. Once again, STREAM SPICY AND GLITTER AKA SONGS OF 2023’S SUMMER

[feuqueerfire]

Feu's December 2022 BL/GL Wrap-Up

A little monthly wrap-up of all the shows I’ve watched or am watching in December 2022, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month: 

To Sir, With Love is just so good if you’re into this sort of thing and I hope we get more lakorns with queer main characters and queer romances since it seems to be pretty popular in Thailand. This month I hope more people come across Love of Secret so that they also see there’s an audience for GL and make more.

Ranking

To Sir, With Love

Ghost Host, Ghost House

My Secret Love = Love of Secret

Catch Me Baby - side BL

My Esports Genius Brother

Average Rating: 5.9/10 (but it was still overall a great month bc of my rewatches)

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them

Happy Ending Romance

Legend of Yunze

Yes or No

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna

Catch Me Baby

Weak Hero Class 1

Choco Milk Shake

Alice In Borderland

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 46

To Watch List At End Of Month: 47

Removed from To Watch List:

Happy Ending Romance (lol removing it the same month i added it)

What Zabb Man! 

Watching On-Air

Nothing because I don’t want carry over to 2023 :’)

Completely Watched

Ghost Host, Ghost House

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Oct 5, 2022 - Nov 23, 2022

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Nov 28 - Dec 3, 2022

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: Pluem and Kevin, bro they were soooooo fucking cute just unbelievable I was cheesing throughout so many of their interactions. they really felt like people who liked each other and also just bounced off each other so well. Idek how I feel about the last 1.5 eps because in terms of writing, I have some qualms but like Kevin and Pluem are so cute that I can’t even think critically. Also, I love the deliberate choice of using you/I so much and what it means when it’s used vs not used (meung). The ghost stuff was intriguing and I’m glad they didn’t somehow make them come back or anything. I wish we got some more background in terms of how things actually worked and some more lore building but I’m still generally okay with the way it went, combining the comedy and sadness.  I wish we had more of the GL rip

tags: ghost host ghost house

Also Appears In: Ghost Host, Ghost House Live Blogging

The next two weeks where I finish up assignments and study for exams will be for rewatching some of the stand-out shows for the year! Might watch fully for some and might watch some parts for others.

Rewatch

I don’t think I’ll do Live Blogging for these and I’ll instead have a different type of watching summary here.

Bad Buddy - full rewatch

Country: Thailand

Rewatch Dates: Dec 4 - 8, 2022

Rating: 9/10 || Changed? No

New Thoughts: One of the best things about the rewatch is truly just coming at it with the knowledge of Thai particle endings, titles and honorifics, and more of a cultural knowledge. Also can’t believe I rewatched so much of the show, usually I rewatch only parts I love. Continues to be my favourite BL of the year, hope something comes along next year that takes over my brain just as much to be honest.

Fave Ep: 7 (fave series of eps is 4 - 8)

Fave Scenes: Mentioned in Bad Buddy Rewatch Blogging

tags: bad buddy

My Year in 2022 - Tumblr

KinnPorsche: Vegas scenes

Country: Thailand

Rewatch Dates: Dec 9, 2022

Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]

New Thoughts: Pete’s “Khun Vegas” and “Pom” and “Krub” turning into “Gu/Meung/Vegas” is fun. A lot of post-canon fics turn VegasPete into very healthy and well-adjusted people which is just not true, I love how Vegas is dishonorable and shitty even throughout ep 14. The acting continues to be great and also I was less irritated during this rewatch bc I didn’t watch KP or KC or “plot” 

Fave Ep/Scenes: the ep 10 - 14 VP stuff is great 

tags: kinnporsche, vegaspete

Love Mechanics - Skim Rewatch

Country: Thailand

Rewatch Dates: Dec 10, 2022

Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]

New Thoughts:

Fave Ep:

Fave Scenes: Ep 2 - 2 (Vee taking Mark to a restaurant, Mark tying Vee’s shoelaces), Ep 3 - 1 (Vee talking to Ploy on the phone in front of Mark and Mark distracting himself by picking out garlic from Vee’s plate bc he doesn’t like it), Ep 4 (Mark buying instant noodles to cook for Vee + being protective of them. interesting bc VegasPete also have the noodles motif lol), Ep 6 (can I call the VeeMark fight scene a fave, Mark-Kan and Vee-Bar’s parallel convos), a bunch of other scenes I didn’t keep track of, ep 10 after credits (roleplay reverse phi/nong and cnc woahhhh) 

tags: love mechanics

Not Me  - Skim Rewatch

Country: Thailand

Rewatch Dates: Dec 11 - 13, 2022

Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]

New Thoughts:

Fave Ep:

Fave Scenes: a lot of the earlier interactions are cute, 6-4 choking out scene is insane fr the emotions and acting in that ah, 7-3 protest and pride, 7-4 Yok and Dan in Dan’s home, 8-1 Sean coming to White’s home and apologizing and baring his soul, 8-2 Yok being cheeky while painting Dan, 9-4 when Black and White meet again and Black takes back his piercings, 11-4 Sean finally finding out about Black vs White 

Fave Scene: 9-1 the best section without a doubt - I loved how SeanWhite checked in on each other in the beginning and also afterwards with the “are you okay?” and it felt like they each actually cared about each other and the interactions held emotion more than the other “consent scenes” that make me feel like it’s just smth to check off rather than something you actually want to communicate to a partner and is also not cringey to watch. Also cheeky Yok coming over to Dan’s station at the end

tags: not me, ship names

Secret Crush on You - Skim Rewatch

Country: Thailand

Rewatch Dates: Dec 14, 2022

Rating: [no change bc only watching parts]

New Thoughts: I love how Nuea isn’t overly cocky and doesn’t pressure Toh into admitting his feelings and isn’t 100000% certain that Toh likes him and would be perfect with him. When Nuea sulks or gets hurt by Toh’s carefully put on callousness or uncaringness (ep 3 him being annoyed that Toh keeps saying shit! everytime they met, 3-4, 5-3, 8-3 Nuea sulking at Toh insinuating Nuea might wanna break up in the future, 9-3 when Nuea’s upset that Toh didn’t say they were faen to the girls and told them to join what was gonna be their date, 13-3), it feels so real like the feelings really matter to Nuea and that he can be hurt by the lack of reciprocation.

Fave Ep:

Fave Scenes: 3-1 when Nuea visiting Toh’s dorm to see the photos he took, 3-4 when Nuea comes to Toh’s room to ask about why he left the event early and sulks and there’s hurt from both ends because each think the other doesn’t care T.T so good, 5-3 Nuea/Toh lip kiss because of the Kung King game and Nuea being so sad that Toh had no reaction and was brushing it off and saying it was just a game, 8-2 their little heart to heart after confessing in the last part about why Toh takes photos, 10-4 just friendly friends playing games, 13-3 when Toh’s collection is revealed and Nuea’s reaction to Toh insinuating their relationship will end and them baring their souls to each other 

tags: secret crush on you

HIStory2: Right or Wrong - Skim Rewatch

Country: Thailand

Rewatch Dates: Dec 15 - 17, 2022

Rating: 6/10 [Updated: 0.5 increase]

New Thoughts: yeah it's enjoyable and fun but i skipped almost entirely of ep 4

Fave Scenes: it’s so short, just reach the whole thing at that point

tags: 

Catch Me Baby (side BL) - not a rewatch

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Oct 6, 2022 - Dec 15, 2022

Watch Via: WeTV (free)

Watch Dates: Dec 17, 2022

Rating: 5.5/10 [unrated on MDL]

Overall Impression: saw a few clips of the show on tiktok and was thinking of watching it through these tiktok vids but now that I’m anticipating Bed Friend even more after the trailers, I think I’ll watch their parts on actual weTV lol. They made them both friendless, annoying losers who don’t have friends bc their classmates don’t like them but they still have money and get girls; it’s like two opposing tropes in one. Thought it was interesting that Foie was basically open about really liking Tan from after the kiss but he didn’t think they’d be good or that Tan was serious, so didn’t pursue anything. The car crash was a useless decision but the asking to be bfs scene was cute, though they disappeared from the story after that lol. They have really good chemistry and ability to play off each other, think that with some more acting skills, Bed Friend would have great chemistry/acting.

tags: catch me baby

Blueming - Skim Rewatch

Country: South Korea

Rewatch Dates: Dec 18, 2022

Rating: [no change bc only watching parts (tbh I watched 80% of it lol but yeah no change)]

New Thoughts: idek man there’s something about the way this show is made and shot and acted and THE DYNAMIC that makes me delirious and like my brain is knocking around loose in my skull

Fave Ep: no specific ep sticks out to me but the middle few eps where they’ve become friends and before the drama reveal, they are sooooo alksdfj

Fave Scenes: Ep 4 “ “Well, if you do me wrong, will you buy me bread too?” + the over-the-hand kiss, Ep 6 the confession scene and before and after it too, Ep 8 kiss where Siwon’s too eager

tags: blueming

His (2020) - Full Rewatch

Country: Japan

Rewatch Dates: Dec 19, 2022

Rating: unchanged

New Thoughts: so good still T.T my fave japenese show/BL

Fave Scenes: just rewatch the movie lol

tags: his (jpn)

Semantic Error: The Movie - Full Rewatch

Country: South Korea

Rewatch Dates: Dec 19, 2022

Rating: unchanged

New Thoughts: I was gonna skim rewatch the show but the movie turned out to come out on Viki, so rewatched the full movie instead. I like it a lot, still so cute >.< Want second season after Seoham finally gets out pls I continue to like Yuna a lot. Also, during this rewatch I think I noticed more just how often they (Jaeyoung, Sangwoo, Yuna) swear or call each saekki

Fave Scenes: rip i was too busy watching to keep track

tags: semantic error

End of Rewatches

End of my 16 day rewatch journey of rewatching most of the 2022 stuff that I enjoyed. Not rewatched but 2022 shows I rated high were The Eclipse, Badhaai Do, Boku mo Aitsu mo Shinrodesu - We’re Both Grooms and I might rewatch them. I had a handful of non-2022 releases that I rated high and out of those, I might rewatch Life: Love on the Line (Director's Cut), No Touching At All, P.S. I Hate You, Utsukushii Kare.

Now onto To Sir, With Love because it’s like 17 70 to 75-minute episodes lmfao and now is a good time to let it consume my life since I have no school

Thai BL/GL Filming Schedules

To Sir, With Love

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Oct 3, 2022 - Nov 28, 2022

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Dec 20 - 24, 2022

Rating: 7/10

Overall Impression: Definitely enjoyable and also different from other BLs I’ve watched because this was a lakorn that had a huge component of Tian being gay but the actual romance took up very little screen time. Very dramatic, gives me Indian serial vibes. The acting, characterization, occasional action were all good. The focus on women, even though they were mostly fucked in the head, was also a welcome change in the midst of all my BL consumption.Yang and Tian’s brotherhood was everything!!! I love siblings and sibling bonds so much T.T Yang/Pin were also freaking adorable!! Tian and Jiu were not the biggest part of the story, didn’t really even have much interactions before ep 7 but they were sooo romantic. 

tags: to sir with love

Also Appears In: To Sir With Love Live Blogging

My Secret Love

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: May 28, 2022 - Aug 20, 2022

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Dec 26 - 30, 2022

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: When Mek-Kim were cute, they were cute but there were some poor choices with their writing that made it boring sometimes or just lacked sense, like with the separation. Park-Lee my lovelies who call each other ‘ter’ and propose at the same time and are physically affectionate and have feelings like insecurity or jealousy. Bomb and Bear were so cute in the beginning but then became :< sad in the end but it felt like something that could happen with wonky work-life balance. Tim and Mai were sooo rancid and passive aggressive in the middle, I was liking it but then the confession was anti-climactic and then they fizzled out. This show had a lot of heart. Don’t think I’ll remember much except Park and Lee but it was a fun enough watch while it lasted.

tags: my secret love

Also Appears In: My Secret Love Live Blogging

My Esports Genius Brother

Country: China

Release Dates: Aug 13, 2021 - Aug 26, 2021

Watch Via: GaGaOolala

Watch Dates: Dec 31, 2022

Rating: 4.5/10

Overall Impression: I read that this didn’t have actual brothers or incest, so I gave it a chance cuz I wanted some esports competitive enemies to lovers + celebrity trope. instead it’s like some Deluded vs feelingless person enemies to lovers with lots of other plotlines that were too complicated for this 12 ep show with 4 mins an ep agh. also was this dubbed or was the audio just weird? also the acting lmfao man this show kinda just irritated me

Love of Secret

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 5, 2022 - Nov 12, 2022

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: Dec 31, 2022

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: my last piece of media watched for 2022! It was cute and tackled a few things (Punpun working to realize her idol dream, her relationship with Tim, Punpun’s dad’s approval, Punpun’s aunt and the guy who keeps breaking watches, along with plenty of other characters and scenes), it would’ve been so good as a 10 ep show, oof. now it was a cute watch but too short and speedy to really empathize with what the characters are going through beyond the initial ‘oh that sucks’. I liked the stuff it focuses on: girlfriends, chasing dreams, (complicated) familial bonds and looking out for each other, but it would’ve been better if fleshed out

tags: love of secret

Whew, last show of the year and last monthly wrap-up of 2022! Now to finish up this post and then things like my 2022 show overview and 2023 Shows post and such. 

2022 Overview + Stats

[djevelbl]

Ok not even half a day and I'm ALREADY elaborating on this — if anyone has questions/opinions on any of these, feel free to add in! Just uh. keep in mind I've been in the fandom for a total of like. a couple weeks. go easy on me

•CLOWN: Ballet, not just bc of the elegance and passive prideful tendencies, but also bc of the (generally speaking ofc — this isn't a ballet-exclusive thing either btw. it's just more prevalent there I believe) mildly-to-downright-BAD toxic and competitive atmosphere you can find in studios and auditions and shit — my man sort of THRIVES within conflicts, at least in Lifesteal; this is how I'd translate it to... whatever this is — is this an au now, chat??? I guess it is lmao

•BRANZY: Again, tango mostly bc I think it'd be funny. I mean, do you see that pathetic wet cat of a man and think "dang. he'd be good at tango"? no?? Yea. kinda the point. Also being more serious on it, tango is a passionate and emotional dance, deeply personal in how it's done, with physical contact and elegant move-sets — things Branzy can perfectly be (even tho I don't think he would typically be described as "passionate". it's not an asset one would typically use in Lifesteal. so) and things he knows how to twist around and manipulate. Like with his two-faced Lifesteal nature, not something you expect from seeing him or talking to him a lil bit (also. opens up the door for clownzy and I'm all up for that! whoo!)

•KABOODLE: Aight, first one I'm not too too sure about, so I offer up two options — #1 is lyrical, which I had to look up just to make sure it was called that in english as well lol, and #2 would be modern/urban, I'm not actually sure of what's the difference between those??? We interchange them frequently and flippantly in my academy, so 🤷. #1 bc of the elegance and beauty of it, paired with its strength and emotionality kinda just reminds me of her? (it's also my backup for whenever I just. don't know what to assign someone? so take it with a grain of salt) and #2 bc it's very k-pop band like?? And idk her avatar gives me k-pop/vtuber/idol vibes I guess??? Anyway

•SQUIDDO: Modern/urban. See above for why — it's the same reasons tbf. Maybe also lyrical???

•REDDOONS: Tango. I just think it'd be funny — yea I'm really that easy. sue me. Also the idea of THE scammer doing tango? HILARIOUS

•PRINCE ZAM: Jazz. Look, I need an honorary jazz person and it just so happened to be this one. I've never watched his videos so idek what I'm yapping about

•ASHWAGG: Jazz too EXACTLY bc of the same reason as Prince Zam lol. Also something something swagdoons fit better like this

•CHIEF: This is in the "and related ppls" part bc I've already run out of Lifestealers lmaoo — uh. modern/urban. just. yea, slap that one there, we'll see if it sticks

•WENZO: Ballet bc I think Wenzo doing ballet feels weirdly fitting, somehow

•TAZOH: Ahahaha another one to the Someone Has To Do Jazz Up In This House™ — I just think it'd be fun, that's it

Yea that's uh. that's all I think. Thanks for coming to my maddened ramblings masquerading as a tedtalk

I need to make a Lifesteal chatfic. the problem is i don't really know SHIT about the dynamics between ppl so it'd be SO ooc it would be a disservice to everyone involved--

[unshackledmonologues]

“when can i see you again?”

Eventually, he was going to stop, right? It wasn’t like they could be together. They were on very different sides of the law, of justice, of righteousness... But every time he showed up, she knew that he had been monitoring, because it was always right after her “so called heroes,” as he described them, invalidated or disrespected her.

Tonight was no different. She was really starting to wonder if she WAS on the right team after all. Maybe that’s why she kept allowing these situations to be created. Of all the people she worked for and fought with, none of them respected her as a person. She was the most skilled in her field, which was why he’d sought her ought in the first place, yet none of her colleagues listened to her expert opinions and they deviated from plans, then blamed her whenever things didn’t work out.

Was it because of her gender, her race, or the simple fact that perhaps her villain was right - she didn’t belong with the people she worked for, with the ones that she swore allegiance to. She was on the verge of tears when his hoverboard whirred next to her, so she didn’t face him. 

But, after a moment, she felt him closer and whenever his arms wrapped around her from behind, she let the tears fall and leaned into the affection. When was the last time someone gave her a hug? She didn’t care that it was from someone that they labeled a terrorist. She didn’t know if she even cared about his crimes anymore at this point. The heroes were the ones who hurt her on a daily basis. What they allegedly stood for was irrelevant in this moment in time. But, all of the personnel had been injected with censors to detect his presence.

It was one of her designs, actually, now genetically monitored to recognize his DNA specifically, giving his enemies a heads up whenever he was near, and alerting their backup, Eventually, someone was going to notice how frequently he was visiting her. Her boss knew that he had “a thing” for her and therefore, said that they could try to use her as bait whenever he came to visit her and that in the meantime, whatever she could coax out of him, they could use against him.

He never said anything valuable to them. It was always about her. The sirens sounded and he reached for his weapon. She tried to keep him from it, but only superficially. She had to at least look like she was trying to. He pressed his nose against hers, with a smirk and pointed the ray at the incoming cop cars. When fired upon, they transformed, beautifully, into a variety of her favorite plants and flowers. The cars took root into the ground and the officers inside merged, painfully, but aesthetically satisfyingly into flowers or fruits on the bushes and trees.

Those coming up after them would not be able to easily pass them and would have to be tasked either with keeping them there, uprooting them until they could find a way to reverse the effects of his weaponry, or chop down the obstruction and spin a tale of them being killed in duty. 

It surprised her how little she was beginning to care about all of that, and how much she was beginning to appreciate how beautiful the plants always were. It was time for him to flee. The cops were usually first response. The superheroes would be next. “When can I see you again?” She wondered.

He smiled. This was the first time she’d actually admitted out loud that she wanted to see him, though she always did. “As per usual, that’s up to you...” The choppers were ahead and if he didn’t go now, he’d have to kill others. kill heroes, potentially her friends. He was patient enough to hold out on that. Besides, he was obviously getting through to her. He plucked a flower from the mass of plant life, tucked it in her afro and was gone before anybody touched down. 

[rosettared]

Lift Me Up, Chap. 3

Chapter 3: No Such Thing as Privacy Summary: Marinette’s good friends, and one unexpected customer, pay her a visit at the bakery, and Chat Noir finally learns what he feels for her (and that he should pay more attention to weather forecasts). Word Count: 8589 Also on: AO3 << Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>

“Thank you, monsieur! Come again!”

Marinette spent that evening helping her parents’ in the bakery, greeting and serving customer after customer after customer. She couldn’t, for the life of her, remember why there were so many people today, and every time she asked her parents of the occasion she would forget as soon as they told her. They patiently answered her question the first two times, but by the third, they just told her to forget it, and that it wasn’t so important.

It wasn’t her fault, really. She couldn’t help that all she could do was pointlessly hope for a mop of blond to walk through the door.

She had just waved away a couple customers: a father with his little daughter, her excitedly swinging the bag with a box of tangy lemon macarons. The bakery became less crowded as it got later in the day, and the sky was a wild mix of blues and oranges, peppered with white fluff. Then she heard the bell above the door, and she whipped her head a little too fast that her hair slapped her cheeks. Her widened smile fell slightly, and her excitement gone to see who had walked through instead, but she wasn’t disappointed.

Alya came in, looking better than ever, with Alix, Mylene, Rose and Juleka in tow. “Hey, Marinette!” they all greeted simultaneously as they all walked through the threshold and closed the door behind them. Marinette took the opportunity of the lack of other customers, and quickly went around the counter to greet each of her friends with a hug and kiss on both cheeks.

When she had come back to school that afternoon after visiting Adrien, with her routinely tripping on air and apology to the teacher, all five of them had known where she’d been. When the teacher wasn’t looking, she felt five pairs of eyes burning and digging at the back of her head for answers. Marinette had promised to deliver details when she suggested they pop by the bakery later that day, so she figured that was exactly why they were here.

She looked over her shoulder and asked her mother, who was also manning the counter, if she could go on her break, to which Sabine nodded in permission. She led her friends up the stairs towards the living room above the bakery, and it was frankly much more appropriate to gossip than where complete strangers could overhear. Marinette held the door open for each one of them, watching with a grin as they made themselves comfortable on the couch, just as they had been here a billion times.

Once Marinette untied the strings of the white apron around her waist, hanging it over the couch, and took a seat on the small white table in front of the TV, she saw that her friends all had their eyes on her, patiently waiting. She plopped her elbow on her thigh and rested her chin in her palm. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, hmm?”

Alix rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it. “Cut to the chase, Dupain-Cheng, you know exactly why we’re here.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “Do I?”

“We all saw how the light in your face died when we walked through the door. Were you expecting someone else? Maybe a tall glass of Adrien Agreste?”

She crossed one leg over the other, and flipped her hair over her shoulder, deliberately adding dramatic flair to her faux obliviousness. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she persisted.

Alya stood up from her seat and scooted Marinette over to make room for her on the table, and before she could get a ‘what are you doing’ out, Alya had Marinette’s smartphone from her jean pocket in her hand, and she held it high enough that Marinette couldn’t reach. Even before she could start the chase around the living room for her device of secrets, Alya having jumped over the living room couch and elegantly landing behind it (perhaps her double-life as Rena Rouge had pulled off in her normal life), Alix and Mylene got up and held her down on the living room floor, and all Marinette could do was watch as her treacherous best friend unlocked her phone.

She should never have told Alya her passcode. Best-friend etiquette was the worst.

“Let’s see, what do we have here…” Marinette could feel Alya’s finger hovering over her ‘Messages’ app, Rose and Juleka watching in anticipation from their seats.

“No, don’t!”

It was like she wasn’t there. Any attempts to stop Alya were futile, as she could only squirm under Alix’s and Mylene’s hold on her and pray that the wooden floor underneath her would swallow her into the ground. At that moment, she would do anything if it meant she didn’t have to listen to whatever her friends were about to uncover, and subsequently endure the embarrassment.

“Ooh!” Rose pointed to something on her phone, and her eyes lit up. “That’s the Adrien one! Open it up! Open it up!”

But they didn’t give her much of a choice.

Then Alya’s face morphed into an expression that Trixx would applaud with joy and pride to see; it was cunning, it was devious, and it was clear by the raise of her eyebrows and the look in her eyes that she had a scheme ready to hatch. Had the phone not been in her hand, she would have probably rubbed her hands together like some evil genius like Dr Drakken or something (okay, that was a lie, it didn’t really matter if she had her hands full or not. Anyone who knew her was very much aware how much of an evil genius she already was).

“Look how much I have to scroll up! You guys sure talked a lot today,” the sly fox commented, and Marinette was dreading what was about to go down. After Marinette left the Agreste premises and came into class, it was true that she and Adrien had texted back and forth for the rest of the day, right up till she had to start her shift at the bakery. With a simple clearing of Alya’s throat, she felt her face drain of colour. There were things they’ve said that she’d rather not have her friends read (they weren’t so bad, just private).

“Oh, Marinette!” Alya read off with an intentionally poor impersonation of their friend and fellow classmate, exaggerating the deep, manly tone in her voice. Adrien had definitely not said that. “Thanks for dropping by today! If you hadn’t showed up, I don’t think I’d come out of bed! You know you could’ve joined me under the covers! Winky. Face.”

Above her, Alix’s ears perked up at the direction this was going, and a cheeky, mischievous smile appeared on her lips, one that fit so well for someone like her.  “Lemme see! Lemme see! I want to read it too!” Alix then rushed to join Alya’s side, leaving Marinette’s left wrist free, but it wasn’t like she could stop them anymore. Mylene had also joined the other girls, and Marinette stayed with her elbows on the floor. They were already going through her texts; the damage was done. Might as well watch this unfold, right?

Alya handed the phone over to her, and Alix let out a devious chuckle that gave Marinette more of a reason to worry. “Oh, Adrien!” she followed Alya’s lead to add things that weren’t there, laying on the soft, feminine tone a little too thick, like she was the female lead in a horrible soap opera. “You’re all talk, aren’t you? Like I said, anything for my friends! You know me, when they’re down, there’s nothing I won’t do to add a little more cheer into their day!”

Mylene held her hand to her heart, eyes soft. “Aww, Marinette! That’s so true!”

Alix, on the other hand, looked like she was controlling herself from gagging. “A little egotistical of you to say about yourself, though?” Marinette tried for an indifferent shrug. “You should write for kids’ shows, if what you say to Adrien is this corny.”

“Shut up, Alix, there’s more!” Alya slapped the tomboy across the shoulder, grabbing Marinette’s phone from her. She scrolled down a little more, probably skipping the texts she didn’t find so interesting, and then stopped. “Oh my god, Adrien… geez, Marinette, your banter’s real cute and I can’t believe he tells you all these!” Alya was no stranger to Adrien’s sense of humour, but she was lucky she didn’t have to read his jokes as often as she did.

“I know,” Marinette sighed. “It’s a miracle my forehead isn’t as red as it should be.”

“Why don’t you read them out?” Juleka asked.

“Maybe on your own time, I’m looking for juicier stuff.” Alya shook her head and came back to the phone. “Ooh, here’s one!” Then she cleared her throat again. “Oh, should I mention that I’ve run out of croissants and eclairs, and the box is now empty?”

“Oh, you brought him pastries!” Rose chimed, wistful. “That’s so romantic!”

“Yeah, that’s really sweet of you, Marinette,” Juleka added.

Before she carried on, Alya reread what she was about to read off, and when she brought her hand up to her mouth, with eyes wide, Marinette knew she was in trouble. “Mind if you come back and bring some more? Don’t worry, I promise I won’t sneeze on you again.”And when she finished, the sound of four jaws dropping straight to the floor was as instantaneous as it was loud, and left Marinette with a lot of explaining to do.

“He sneezed on you?!” they cried at the same time, a little louder than Marinette preferred.

She leapt to her feet and swiped her phone from Alya’s dirty fingers while she was distracted. There was no way she was letting them take it away again, so she grasped it tight in her hand. Sure, it was possible for her to play it cool that Adrien Agreste, the epitome of poise and courtesy, had sneezed in her face, and now her closest friends knew about it – she just wasn’t sure how she could play it.

“Guys, it’s no big deal,” she tried, and hoped she looked convincing. “He’s sick, and he felt a sneeze coming out, and it was just a spur of the moment. It could’ve happened to anyone.”  

“Yeah, and in that same moment, he could have looked away,” Alix pointed out. “And it happened to you. Do you sneeze on other people, Marinette? That’s gotta mean something.”

“It was an accident, and he apologised a lot about it. It doesn’t have to mean anything, you know.”

“Girl,” Alya started. “This is Adrien Agreste, the world’s most composed and collected seventeen-year-old, the son of a world-renowned fashion mogul. He probably learned socialite speak before he knew his ABC’s. He wouldn’t know rudeness if it was shoved right up his-”

“Okay!” Marinette interrupted. “I get it, I get it! Just get to the point, please!”

“The point is-”

“He totally likes you, Marinette!” Rose cut Alya off, excitement clear.

“What?” Marinette could’ve laughed. There was no way Adrien liked her – well, they were really close, and she knew he really cared about her, but he didn’t like her like that. Though she would’ve given absolutely anything for that to be true, she had long accepted the possibility that he couldn’t see her as more than a friend. The girls weren’t even there when she visited him over lunch break, and they’re basing their assumption over a sneeze? “No, he doesn’t, that’s silly.”

If looks could kill, the way all five of them knitted their eyebrows in frustration would have beaten her to a pulp.

“It was just a sneeze! C’mon, guys. Like you said, he’s the son of a world-renowned fashion mogul. He could literally have anyone he wanted, so why would he want me?” Marinette brought her phone up and turned it on just to see her lock screen wallpaper, which had become a habit by now; it was a selfie Adrien had taken of the two of them, his arm slung from her shoulder, happy and toothy-grinned at last year’s Rock en Seine. It was his first time at a proper music festival, and she cherished how happy she remembered him being the whole time, the two of them having the time of their lives. Her lips turned up at one of her favourite memories, and then she heard more throats clear.

“Maybe because you two are near inseparable?” Juleka suggested, prompting the others to snicker.

“No, we’re not! I’m just saying that I’m just me. Plain ol’ Marinette, a normal girl with a normal life. There’s nothing special about me.” Maybe except the fact you run around the city rooftops in a red bodysuit and save the world on a regular basis, but they don’t have to know that, she thought. “There are a ton of prettier girls out there that he might already like, and some of them are lucky enough to work with him. Remember the time he liked Kagami?”

“Oh, who can’t remember?” said Mylene, sliding off the couch to stand next to Marinette. All of them had been absolutely livid when she told them about the situation Adrien had put her in when he asked for help with Kagami. “Kagami’s great and all, but she’s not like you. You’re lucky enough to be one of his closest friends, and Adrien and Kagami aren’t like that. Your ‘nothing special’ was enough for the elegant Adrien Agreste to lose his cool and sneeze in your face, you know?”

“And we thought Adrien was blind,” she heard Alix mutter to Alya and Juleka.

“You know how you acted around Adrien those years ago?” Rose came to join her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You were always nervous and almost never spoke complete sentences around him.”

“Yeah, I was fourteen! That’s completely normal, right?”

“How do you know this isn’t Adrien’s way of being nervous around you?” This was getting ridiculous. Her friends were out of their minds. The thought of Adrien being nervous around her was too absurd to entertain. Tripping on air and stumbling over his words and sneezing in her face didn’t mean that Adrien liked her that way.

Did they?

Her brain flashed memories of Luka that had been stored away for a while. Luka Couffaine; an older, more charming guy who had been there when she had been grieving over Adrien’s absence, and paid her the attention she had been so desperately craving from a boy who couldn’t. He was always so nice to her, helping her out and finding ways to cheer her up when her own friends couldn’t. He was also such a smooth-talker – he always knew just what to say to catch her off guard every single time. Luka was never a nervous wreck around her, and he made his feelings for her quite apparent. Was it really right to compare Adrien to Luka?

No.

Mylene was right – just like Adrien and Kagami, what Marinette shared with Luka was so different than what she shared with Adrien. They had something more solid, a more concrete bond that she and Luka just didn’t have. Maybe it could be that she and Adrien spent so much more time together, that they ran in the same circles and have literally been classmates for three years, because they really knew each other inside and out (mostly, save her secret identity). Adrien was one of her best friends, and their friendship was something she valued so deep in her core. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Luka as a friend – after he had let her go, that was all they had been to each other – but it wasn’t the same. Besides, she had seen Luka with a couple more girls over the years, and she observed that his charisma with the ladies was more natural and came by easily. He hadn’t been nervous around them either.  

So what did all this mean with Adrien?

That means there’s a chance that he does like you, Marinette! One part of her brain told her. You’ve waited for this for years! He finally likes you back! You should go find him and tell him how you really feel about him!

But should you, really? Another part of her brain argued. Do you really feel that way anymore? You know there’s another reason you won’t accept that he likes you, and it wears a mask and cat ears.

Marinette wanted to counter Rose’s point with some gibberish that even she didn’t believe, but then there was a knock on the door. Their sudden guest didn’t bother to open it. “Marinette?” Tom continued to knock. “Could you come downstairs, please? We have a customer here for you.”

Marinette shared a confused look with her friends. It wasn’t like her to turn someone away, but she was on her break, and she wanted to spend it with her friends – could this person wait a teeny bit longer? “Who is it, Papa?”

“I think you should come see him for yourself, sweetheart,” her father answered from the other side of the door. “He really wants to see you.”

“Alright, I’m on my way down!” After telling her friends she would just take a moment and slamming the door shut, she dashed down the stairs straight to the bakery counter. Her view was blocked by the burly chef, and she tapped on his shoulder. “Who is it?”

Tom only smiled, wordlessly moving aside to reveal Marinette’s special guest – and it was like he was conjured from her thoughts. She had just been thinking about him, and then the very boy that she spent most of her nights with showed up at her door? This was too much for her to think of as a coincidence.

“Chat Noir?” she gasped, surprised. The hero only gave her a two-fingered salute in greeting, and she took note of the picnic basket in his hand.

Oh, boy.

She watched as her father took the basket from his fingers, exchanging whispers with the hero before nodding and giving him a knowing wink. He turned to Marinette and bent down to her level. “I’ll go leave you two alone,” her father whispered into her ear and then disappeared into the kitchen. “The buns and brioche ‘knead’ me!” he shouted, out of sight, and Marinette sighed at her father’s antics.

She redirected her attention to Chat and fully registered his presence, and she knew he was definitely hiding something from her. He looked much worse than he did last night, his skin lacking their colour and nose redder than ever. He acted like nothing was wrong, but the grogginess in his eyes betrayed him. He looked about as bad as Adrien – what were the chances?

“How’s it going, Princess?” he attempted to sound well, but she could hear his throat failing him. Without a word, she grabbed him by his leather belt of a tail up the stairs and to the front door. She peeked her head through the threshold. The girls were still there, waiting for her.

They straightened up at the sound of the door creaking open. “So sorry,” Marinette began. “but do you mind if you guys go up to my room?”

“Is something wrong?” Mylene asked.

“No, no! It’s j-just… I have a guest here, and I think he’d also appreciate that we get a little – ahem – privacy, that’s all,” she managed. She couldn’t imagine having to say, ‘oh it’s nothing, just got Chat Noir, one of the city’s greatest defenders from evil, who also just happens to be my partner-in-crime, up in my own home because he’s an idiot for thinking I won’t be able to tell that something’s wrong, but he’s my idiot and I need to look after his sorry butt’.

All of them lifted their brows suggestively. “He?”

Cheeks now growing warm, Marinette stepped through the doorway and chased them up the stairs to her bedroom. “Shoo! Up you go now, thank you very much!” Only when all five of them were gone did she invite Chat inside her living room. She wasted no time hurrying to the kitchen and getting him some paracetamol from the cabinet and a mug of warm milk, hyperaware of his eyes watching her every move. She was grateful that he stayed silent the entire time even as she sat him down on the couch and shoved the pills and milk in his hands, and that he was unhesitant to take them. Maybe it was because she watched him so intensely, or maybe it wasn’t, but he managed to finish the entire mug in her presence.

The two of them kept the eye contact even as he set the mug down on the table. “Is it that obvious?” Chat said to her at last.

“You look like you died last week,” she told him abruptly. What she appreciated about Chat Noir, even when she was Ladybug, was that he almost never took it to heart when she was being frank with him. Most times he would laugh it off. “Half my school had gotten sick over the past month. You’d think it was a coincidence.”

“Don’t tell Ladybug that,” he tried to chuckle, but in that moment, his façade dropped with a sigh of defeat and a lazy slump against the couch. He fiddled a little with his claws, now not even trying to hold back on his awful coughs. He wasn’t going to talk about it, but Marinette was determined to get it out of him.

“Does she know about this?”

He shook his head and sneezed. “At least, I hope she doesn’t.”

“She’s gonna find out eventually.” And you’re in so much trouble, she thought. “Why haven’t you told her?”

He coughed again into his gloved fist, and sniffled. She didn’t need to hear his answer – she knew he didn’t want to worry her even more than he already had, because he was like that. That was a classic Chat move. He had the tendency to put her needs before his own, which, if her nightmares and the past three years told her anything, was not always a good thing. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her?” he guessed.

“Chat.” Marinette was not happy with that answer. Try again.

“I know, I know,” he sighed again, as he dug at his cheekbones with the bottom of his palms. His breathing stopped for a couple seconds, and she waited, but then she jumped at the sudden violent sneeze that left him with a trail of snot on his gloves, and she immediately got up to fetch him a box of tissues. “She can’t know about this. I’ve got this really special thing for her planned out tonight, and I’m really hoping it’ll work out, so I can’t have her worry about whatever’s going on with me.” He blew into his 3-ply. “I told her it could be food poisoning, but obviously, if you can tell that I’m sick-”

“How long have you been sick?”

He said nothing for a few long seconds. “Almost a week?”

“A week? Chat, you can’t possibly go through with this,” she told him, her voice flat and stern. If he was hiding the fact that he was sick from her, she couldn’t imagine how he would feel throughout the entire dinner he had planned for them. He would be suffering in sniffles and suppressed sneezes while she slurped on a smoothie (or whatever he was bringing to the dinner), and that crushed her. “It’s a bad idea and you know it. You gotta take care of yourself first, you know.”

His hands dropped to cover his mouth, and even through that she could hear his muffled voice mutter, “you sound just like her.” Perhaps she should put more emphasis on her ‘concerned civilian’ voice’ and tone down her ‘it’s a good thing I care way too much about you or else you’d be dead with your tail tied to a Notre-Dame gargoyle’ voice.

“I’m serious!” Marinette moved a little closer to him and draped her arm over the couch behind him. “It’s alright to put yourself first sometimes. You’re sick, and you need your rest at home. Whatever ‘dinner’ you have planned for her should wait until you’re much better, right?”

“That’s true, but…” he paused to cough into his tissues. “but I want to do this for her, and I really can’t wait any longer. I want to make things up to her.”

Still acting like she had no idea what he was talking about, she tilted her head to one side and raised a brow. She just wanted to know how we would explain it to a civilian, to her– it wasn’t like she’d been haunted by nightmares of him dying over and over or anything. “I-I-I’m sure whatever it is, she’s already forgiven you, but I’m a curious kitten,” she said with a wink. “What did you do?”

He averted his eyes away from her. “Well, I-heh,” he tried for another chuckle, but a cough came instead, and she silently handed him another tissue. “Well, I… you can’t tell anyone about this, but… I kinda… kinda went a little too far with taking dives for her, and she’s taking it really hard. I want to make things right. I’ve done a lot of really stupid things, and I definitely don’t think straight when she’s around.”

“Really?”

He smiled. “Yeah. You ever love someone so much for so long, that your brain completely shuts down? Like any sense of rationality goes down the drain, and all your nerves and jitters that come when they’re close take over your entire being? You know that feeling?”

Her thoughts immediately went to Adrien. All the times she had stumbled over her own words trying to talk to him all those years ago, all the things she had done for him that had come with consequences she hadn’t considered, putting his happiness first.

Then they went to Chat Noir. All the times she had been so close to pulling him into a tight hug after battles and not let him go, all the dumb things he had said that made her want to take him by his annoying little bell and kiss the living daylights out of him.

“Yeah.” More than you’ll ever know, she wanted to tell him.

“That’s why this has to happen tonight, Marinette. I let her down, and if I don’t fix it by tonight… well, I don’t think I could live with myself. I could go on the rest of my days kicking myself just thinking of all the things I should’ve done tonight! I could go insane!”

He always did tend to be a ridiculous drama queen from time to time.

She couldn’t help but bring her hand to his cheek, burning hot under her skin, like she had done a thousand times before. She couldn’t exactly see the logic behind his little explanation, but she’d take what she could get. Her kitty was in absolutely no shape to be out and about, but if she couldn’t talk him out of it, then so be it.

That was power that Ladybug wielded, not Marinette.

She frowned at feeling his temperature rise, and he frowned to see her frown. Her eyes roamed from the gentle crinkles of his mask, to the wild locks brushing his steaming forehead, then to his eyes that seemed to lose their glow, and she hoped she didn’t have to see him like this ever again.

You could never let me down, minou. You never have, she thought.

“What was that?” asked Chat.  

Had she actually said that out loud?

“No-nothing! I didn’t say anything; did yousay anything? Because I! I totally didn’t,” she defended herself, but she was sure now she looked red enough that it gave her away. “What I meant was, uh,” she cleared her throat. “I don’t think you let Ladybug down, Chat. I’m sure she really cares about you, just as much as you care about her. You’re best friends, right?”

She found quiet joy in how his lips turned up. “Yeah, we are,” he replied, utterly pleased that he could say that with confidence.

“Then you’d know how she’d really appreciate if you look after yourself too,” she reiterated. “I think if you called off the dinner for tonight, she wouldn’t mind, but that’s your choice to make.”

“Marinette.”

“I’m just saying, Ladybug seems like the kind of person who’d be happy to make her friends happy. If I were Ladybug, and I’m not saying that I am, I’d be much happier to know you’re snug in bed watching sappy romantic comedies and taking your rest than upset at you for putting off the dinner until you get better.”

Chat kept quiet for a while, but he took Marinette’s hand off his cheek and clasped in it his own, and her nerves tingled when the tips of his claws tickled her skin. “You’re a great friend, Marinette, you know that? It’s like you can read Ladybug’s mind better than I can.”

“Lucky guess?” Marinette nervously chuckled. “You’re one of the sweetest guys in Paris, Chat Noir. Everyone knows that. I’m sure Ladybug will understand.” Then she brought her other hand to wrap around his, and his grin widened. “I know I would.”

The smile that he gave her could have tricked her into thinking he was totally fine, that he was better than okay. It brightened him up entirely, and Marinette could stare at it all day long. She probably would have, had Chat not looked up at something from behind her. “You didn’t tell me we’d have an audience.”

Marinette heard giggles, and she immediately stood up to hear the sound of a camera click. “Don’t mind us, just watching the show,” Alya waved, and the door of her loft closed shut.

They were so dead.

“Excuse me for a moment, I’ll be right back,” she told Chat over her shoulder, before immediately marching up the staircase to her loft. She was going to have a little chat with her so-called ‘girlfriends’ and get her hands on their phones.

He was still going to do it. Adrien knew Marinette only wanted the best for him, but no matter what she said, he was still going to go through with this picnic. This dinner was happening, and there was nothing anyone, not even Marinette, could say or do to stop him.

A part of his brain was telling him, you know you shouldn’t have come, you’re only wasting your time. You’re probably wasting her time too. Why don’t you turn around and tell her to forget you ever came? Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, he should have thought twice about dropping by. Had her parents’ bakery not been the best one in all of Paris, the best for Ladybug, he probably wouldn’t have.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Alright, that wasn’t true at all.

He just had to see Marinette again today, and he’d be darned if he didn’t get to after all she’d done for him. Though if he had showed up as Adrien, he probably would’ve been shooed out and taken home right before he could get a foot through the door. This was the best excuse he had.

It was seldom he approached Marinette as a superhero, beyond times of distress and akumas. The mask had allowed him a blank slate to their relationship when he first came to her as Chat Noir, giving him the chance to start a new friendship. He recalled the very first time they met, when Ladybug assigned him to watch over her when she was involved with the Evillustrator so long ago. Perhaps “I thought I was going to have to save you from that girl's claws” wasn’t the best ice-breaker.

Nah.

He thought about some of the times after that. Taking her away from the Gamer, keeping her safe in the Eiffel Tower when La Befana was akumatised on her birthday – but those were because of akumas. There was one night that went beyond those. He didn’t look too fondly at that night – the night he had only set his heart up for disappointment, and how he had acted and treated Ladybug. It wasn’t her fault, she told him she might not come, but he didn’t listen. Though Adrien was ashamed of how he behaved, what came of that night wasn’t all bad. Yeah, Ladybug let him down, but she appreciated what they already had – their friendship. He shouldn’t taint that.

That was the one night he sought Marinette’s company before an akuma came into the picture. She was just as distraught as he was, and her company put his mind a little more at ease. He had never seen her so sad before, standing all alone on her balcony and searching the skies for hope, just out of reach, and she had appreciated his company too. He thought cheering her up could cheer himself up, and bringing her to his surprise candlelit dinner brought joy he had never seen on her face.

He would’ve appreciated that more if he hadn’t been thinking of Ladybug.

Now that he really thought about it, Marinette was the only civilian Adrien, as Chat Noir, had told of his feelings, his real feelings. Sure, lots of tabloids and reporters have speculated a spark between the heroes, but she was the only one he had personally confided in about this. She knew from the source that what he felt for Ladybug was true. As Chat Noir, he had the most interaction with her, and it wasn’t like he could’ve told anyone when he was Adrien. If he had told Nino or Alya, they wouldn’t have understood – they would’ve deemed him an infatuated fanboy of their local heroine, not really getting how his love and admiration for her ran much deeper than that. Besides, Nino and Alya were already together – he didn’t really want their sympathy.

But Marinette?

He couldn’t imagine telling anyone else. Telling her didn’t feel out of place at all. They were two broken hearts seeking comfort in each other. She was there to listen, her mere presence enough, and she knew how he was feeling because she was feeling the same.

But that begged the question, what kind of guy would ever break Marinette’s heart?

Adrien decided that was not a thought he should entertain right now, so he stood up from the couch and started to pace. His eyes roamed aimlessly around the house; from the homey little kitchen, to the TV by the couch, to the framed family photo on the shelves, then to the stairs up Marinette’s bedroom; as he tried to block out whatever arguments she was having with her friends. He didn’t dare wonder what on earth Alya, Alix, Mylene, Juleka and Rose had done, and should not eavesdrop, so he tried to think of anything else to occupy his thoughts.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to, for the living room door was quietly opened and Sabine appeared with a tray. “Here,” she said, laying the tray down on the coffee table and a single whiff of fresh chocolate chip cookies gave him whiplash. “On the house, dear.”

Adrien smiled at her. “Thank you, Mme Cheng,” he replied. Sabine simply returned his grin before heading up the stairs and knocking on the loft door.

“Marinette! Break time’s over!”

“Okay, I’ll be down soon!” Marinette hollered, muffled and immediate, and her mother soon left him alone once more. There was an “alright, that’s it, out, out, out!” from her before the loft door swung open and each of her friends climbed down the stairs and to the living room. He gave them all a friendly wave and gestured towards the cookies, encouraging them to help themselves to them, before Marinette could say anything to stop them.

“No, no, no, you guys don’t deserve these after that!”

“Uh, uh, uh!” Alya pointed, waving a finger in the air and a cookie to Marinette’s face. “Too late for that!” And before he knew it, his other classmates were out the door and out of sight, chuckling and giggling all the way, and Marinette let out a resigned sigh.

She turned towards him. “I’m so sorry for that,” she tried, reaching for the apron over the couch and putting it back on, and taking a cookie for herself.  “My friends can be really… disruptive? No, no, that’s not it. I mean, they’re just a little-”

“That’s alright, Marinette, I understand.” Adrien held a hand up, effectively stopping her, and fell in step with her as they walked through the door to head downstairs. He had been watching Marinette hang out and laugh with her friends every day at school for the last three years – it was kind of hard for him not to know what they were like. Occasionally, he’d be in their company too, and there had never been a time when he hadn’t enjoyed it. “My friends can be like that too,” he added, after a couple sneezes. He could call them his friends, right?

Marinette’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?” she asked, incredulous.  

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” There was something she wanted to tell him, he knew that, but she shook her head and pursed her lips instead. She was in total disbelief, was it hard to picture him having friends? Then he realised – she was talking to Chat Noir, and his personal life was not meant to be any of her concern. He was simply one of the defenders of Paris, seen around only when there was any trouble. Wasn’t it weird to think that he and Ladybug were real people, with their own friends and family and lives?

He too often thought of that. Sometimes when he was modelling, or doing homework, or in the car ride to school in the morning, he would catch himself wondering, what was Ladybug doing right in this moment? Was her life as hectic yet routine as his own? What were her friends like, and what was she like around them?

Has she told the boy she loved she loved him?

It’s been three years, she must have, he reminded himself. Right?

They had reached the bakery counter, and Adrien had to hide behind it, sitting on the floor to avoid patrons bothering him. After Marinette attended to them, he had her attention again.

“So apart from Ladybug,” Marinette suddenly spoke, clearing her throat, and crouching to his level. “Are there… are there any other girls in your life? I mean, not like your mom or sister or anything, obviously, but like, um… have you ever thought of anyone else like that?” It was clear she was trying to be careful with her words, but he was more intrigued by the fact that she was asking at all. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to answer if you don’t want to, I was just thinking out loud. I probably stepped out of line a little, but–”

“– two.”

The answer slipped off his tongue easily. The first to pop in his mind was Kagami, a formidable fencing opponent. “One was someone I first admired for her skill. She is an incredibly gifted fighter. We shared classes together, and she always kept me on my feet. It was never easy trying to beat her, and I’ve learned a lot from her. She never second-guessed herself. She was confident and bold, and she had these mysterious eyes… but nothing really happened with her. What I thought I felt for her was just… well, I guess it was just in the moment. I mean, we’re still good friends, but looking back, I know that it wasn’t real, we weren’t right for each other anyway. It was for the best that things happened how they happened, you know?”

Adrien coughed some more, then glanced towards the girl before him, anticipating her reaction. She was listening to him intently, expecting to hear about the other girl, and he was almost hesitant to proceed. An awkward blush crept up to his cheeks.

He had so much to say about her.

“Then the other girl… honestly, I don’t even know where to start,” he continued, and in classic Adrien fashion, a hand was brought up behind his neck. It was weird to talk about this other girl to her face, but he just had to conceal specifics. “Man, I could write a book about her. There’s just so many things about her that I’ve admired for years. She’s incredibly talented and passionate and driven, and… oh, boy, you should hear her talk about her dreams. When she dreams, she dreams big, and you just know she’s going places. Actually, you should get her to talk about anything. She’s got this fire in her eyes and so much spirit in her soul, that it makes me wanna have more meaning in my own life. I just feel so good when I’m around her, and she makes me want to be a better person.”

He wasn’t even looking at her anymore, more immersed in saying everything he loved about this other girl, about her. It was nice to let this all out, because talking about Marinette was the easiest thing to do. “After Ladybug, she’s the kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met, no doubt about that. She always wants to help other people and really goes out of her way to help them in whatever way she can. You can always count on her to be there for you.”

Adrien made a mistake to take another look at her. He met her eyes, and immediately recognised that something was off. Her smile was getting faker, and her whole being dimmed. Maybe she was feeling awkward having to hear all this, for this was much more than what she had heard about Ladybug.

“I’m really sorry, I guess I should just stop here-”

“No, no, no, don’t!” Marinette protested. She made a quick look around the shop, there were no patrons around. “I… I’d like to hear more about her. Please.”

Alright.

He tried to straighten up, but that failed as he stumbled to reach for a tissue to blow his nose into. Marinette helped him with that, and he quickly recovered. “She was one of my first real friends ever. I always thought she was just a friend to me, because I loved – love – Ladybug so much, but lately… I’ve been seeing more. She’s smart, and fun, and sweet, and wonderful, and so easy to talk to, and…” Adrien took a look into her bright blue eyes. They were very different from Kagami’s’, they didn’t speak mystery like hers – instead they spoke volumes in warmth and comfort and everything beautiful in this world. “… and so, so beautiful.”

Marinette stayed quiet for a second too long. “… so, is there… has anything happened between you two?”

He wished.

“Oh, n-no… well, not yet? I don’t know, I’m… I’ve known her for years but I’m only realising all this right now. I haven’t told her how I feel and…” and she’s in love with someone else, Adrien wanted to say.

“You love her, don’t you?”

He paused. Adrien had to process what she had asked him, and really think on what to tell her. Did he? Didn’t he? This was Marinette, and he could never lie to her about anything. There was only one answer he could give: the truth.

“Yeah…” he looked up at her and smiled. “Yeah, I… I guess I do. I love her.”

His ears perked up at the words that fell from his own two lips, and all of a sudden a giddy feeling rushed through him. He loved her. Adrien loved Marinette, and it felt so good to have finally put his feelings in those three simple words.

He loved her!

Then one thought popped in his mind, but should he really sate his curiosity?

Adrien cleared his throat, additionally getting the phlegm there out and spitting that out into another piece of tissue. “But enough about me, who’s your mystery man?” He wiggled an eyebrow, trying to disguise his real motive of asking this. “C’mon, Marinette – I’ve been going on about my own love life, don’t you think it’d be fair if you shared yours with me?”

“Believe me, you don’t wanna hear it. My love life is pretty boring. He’s just some guy I’ve known for a while,” she said dismissively.

“Please,” he scoffed. “I’m guessing it’s the same guy from when we last talked about this? If he broke your heart then clearly he is not ‘just some guy’.”

Marinette couldn’t give him a direct answer right then, because a few more customers had walked into the bakery and Adrien had to stay silent. He brought out his staff from his back and checked for the time. Six o’clock. He had just an hour to get the patrol picnic prepared for Ladybug, but oddly enough, he felt no rush to leave Marinette’s side. He did, however, feel the rush to talk to her again, and these customers sure were taking their time.

More and more began to come in. Two minutes became five, then five became ten, then ten became twenty, and twenty became thirty. It took a lot of effort to hold back the coughs and sneezes that attempted to surface, and he wasn’t feeling any better. He watched her and her mother (who eventually joined her at the counter) on their feet as they served customer after customer, and he was losing time. Adrien ended up sitting there for forty-five minutes, and he realised he was overstaying his welcome. After the last one left the bakery he stood up and made a walk towards the door. “I should probably go,” he apologised. “You and your family need to get back to work.”

“I’m really sorry, Chat,” Marinette replied. “Maybe next time, okay?”

“Thank you so much for coming, dear!” Sabine chimed in from beside her daughter. “It was lovely to have you around.”

“Oh, wait, before you go!” another voice boomed from behind them. Tom then appeared behind his family with the basket Adrien had brought in earlier, holding it out for him to take. “I’ve got the best of the best of our treats in this little bad boy, and I even threw in a flask of fresh hot chocolate for ya. You take this and have a good time, alright?” Tom then flashed a warm, happy, fatherly smile from where he stood, right before pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

When he let him go Adrien could finally breathe once more. “Thank you, M. Dupain,” he cleared his throat. “How much?”

Tom and Sabine shook their heads vigorously. “No, no, no, no, no! No charge!” Tom said sternly. “For all you’ve done for Paris, this is the least we could do.”

“You’re not paying a cent for any of this, young man,” Sabine added. “We won’t allow it.”

Marinette walked away from her parents and pulled Chat down to her level, whispering in his ear. Maybe she could tell that he felt conflicted on whether to accept this generous offer. “I’d listen to them, if I were you. I didn’t get such a hard head out of nowhere, you know.” She took a step back, and he nodded.

Adrien took a good look at her parents, picnic basket now in hand. “Thank you both so much, I really appreciate this.”

“You think Ladybug will appreciate this too?” Tom asked.

“Absolutely!”

“Oh, send her our regards, dear! We want her to know how grateful we are for our heroes,” Sabine said.

“I will!” And with another salute, he pulled the bakery door open and walked out. He had only gotten so far around the block when he heard the bell chime again, so he turned around and found Marinette on his trail. He had taken glances at her during the entire exchange with her parents, and she had a look on her face that he didn’t like the whole time. She was now showing him this look again, with an intensity of a thousand-fold.

She was worried again.

Her eyes then darted towards the basket, and then back up at him. “You’re still gonna do it, aren’t you?” Disappointment was evident in her tone, and he couldn’t ignore it. He hated it.

Adrien offered a shrug. “Yeah.”

The five seconds of silence between them then were agonisingly slow, but then she huffed out a sigh and placed her hands on his own on the basket. She met his eyes again, giving him a straight smile. She got on her tiptoes and placed a quick peck on his cheek, and he was burning up.

“Just… be careful, okay?”

She didn’t even let him speak. She just turned around and walked back towards the bakery and left him on his own, now more of a mess than he’d ever been. He watched the empty space where she’d once been, a hand slowly rising to his cheek, his fingers lightly grazing the spot she had kissed him. Had it not been for the loud, sudden honk of a nearby car that jolted him out of his shock and brought him back to his senses, he would have stayed there for the rest of the night.

He looked down at the basket. Ladybug would be here soon, he knew it. So he extended his trusty staff and shot right up, leaping towards the roofs and running in spite of his shortness of breath. Just in case he had anyone else (Marinette) watching him, he deliberately took long and complicated detours before finally reaching a balcony not far from Marinette’s own – the very same one he had chosen when he had last suggested a dinner with Ladybug.

Adrien landed and immediately took out the contents of the basket, beginning with laying out a classic red-chequered picnic blanket. Ladybug did say that she would be a little late, and he was super sure she said she would come, so maybe he could take his time setting things up. Tom and Sabine did not come short with what they had stocked in his basket – the long silver flask of hot chocolate, two ceramic mugs, and three different boxes of pastries. Maybe he should wait for Ladybug, that way they could open the boxes together.

It was a matter of time when the sky above him became darker and more depressing, but he made no issue of it as he lighted up a few candles one at a time. He tried not to acknowledge the way the clouds grew bigger and greyer, accumulating over his head, as he carefully and meticulously arranged paper plates and plastic cutlery on the blanket. He pretended not to be bothered by the loud boom of thunder as he scattered many rose petals all over the balcony. He was recreating what he had done once before, except Ladybug was in fact showing up. A little weather shouldn’t change his mind.

But when he felt a single droplet fall onto his head, maybe it was wise to take that back.

[softsakusas]

Hope you continue gaining followers (ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ And can you make short headcanons of atsumu , Kuroo and Yamaguchi when their crush stares at them with lovesick eyes and suddenly pinches their cheeks because they look adorable? (Idek if requests are still open so ignore it if they aren't (˘･_･˘))

Kuroo, Atsumu and Yamaguchi x Gn! Reader

Type: Headcannons

A/N: Thank you so much┌(・。・)┘♪ for requesting this, I had fun thinking about the scenarios about this. Tbh I feel like it really isn't my best work. I hope you like it though and enjoy your day. Also, I made it gender neutral if that's okay.

▪️Atsumu you were both studying at his and osamus room.you were the one assigned to tutor him by the teacher because his grades were decreasing and also because his parents told him that if he won’t get it back up, he would have to stop playing for a while. Afraid of the outcome he accepted  his teachers recommendation to him but what he didn’t expect was his own rush to tutor him .

So here you are, tutoring him. He was trying okay, but math was not his strongest subject and he wanted to impress you so badly. He has the habit of puffing his cheeks whenever he is frustrated. So oblivious to the lovesick stare directed at him, he suddenly felt someone pinch him and he looked up, his whole face heats up, looking to the side pretending to be annoyed but deep inside his heart was exploding.

What was he supposed to do when his crush just pinched his cheeks. He keeps on grumbling about how it wasn’t nice to pinch someone's cheek but you just laughed at him because of how his face was really red.

▪️Kuroo both of you were in a pair project assigned by your chemistry project. Only you and him were the only ones left in the classroom, discussing your topic that was assigned. He was the one that was doing the talking mostly, with more knowledge in chemistry, you decided that he was perfect when it comes to these certain things. What can he say, his ego was getting bigger already from being assigned with to the one being with more knowledge.

It was one of these times where Kuroo did anything to impress you and this was the perfect time. Invested on how he was explaining, he was flinched at the sudden physical contact of someone pinching his cheeks.

Going back to reality, he realized that it was just you, face slightly heating up when he tried to tease saying “Oya? Is my face really that nice” despite his own heart beating faster than ever, but you know more than anything than be affected by his teasing, replying back “ yeah maybe it is, maybe not” with a smirk on your face.

▪️Yamaguchi Growing and going to school with Tsukishima he’s used to people fawning over his best friend. He does not have that kind of confidence like Tsukishima, he himself feels as though no one even likes him.(Baby yams you are already perfect) So when he is sitting at  the library he tends to be wary especially of Tsukis' fans. He was used to people only coming up just to ask for tsuki. So everytime they are together with people coming up to him, he always assumes that they are only there for Tsuki.

Reading and concentrating, on the book. Completely oblivious to someone's staring. He felt someone sit next to him but he just ignored it. As he felt it was  getting longer, feeling creeped up, looking up, when suddenly felt hands on his cheeks.

There he saw the one person he’s been secretly fawning, quickly shying away from them, he felt as if he was in a dream. So he looked back and saw them still looking at him with lovesick eyes, when the words he did not expect came out of their mouth “I like you”. 

© of megumiisee

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

look idek what warning to put here, but there's like, a novel and a half below the cut that's just... 6 hours of me going on tangents i never finish or clarify. no proofreading. no organization. it's absolutely not worth your time. but... i literally spent so long writing it that if i don't hit post it'll somehow be even more pointless?!?

basically there are no positive outcomes in any scenario with this post but the only remaining tragedy achievement is me writing all this and then deleting it. what proof will i have that i wrote nonsense for HOURS to avoid my research because i double dosed my meds and had too much caffeine?!? i gotta save this for the memories because no one will believe me if i tell them i live a fucking crazy life and use this as an example.

also for the record i'm goin thru it psychologically at the time of writing this. like, mania-turned-psychotic-episode, overstimulated, disassociated, exhausted, and currently procrastinating a LOT of serious things which only adds to my stress and scatterbrained gibberish. so like... please be kind but also don't get all freaked out either; i have enough psychological control rn to assure you i'm fine and this is just how i am sometimes... but i usually don't make extensive posts online during my more unstable periods. i gotta use the internet rn anyways tho so who's gonna stop me from hyperfocusing on the WRONG tasks?!? 🤪

okay, just had to say all that, and if you think my disclaimer is long? honey... you don't even have a big storm coming just keep scrolling and don't look back. don't click read more. it's not just "read more" like, it's MORE. a LOT more. too much. and like, there's literally nothing valuable there it isn't like my usual longposts that have a point or vague coherence. it was simply a huge waste of my time and it'll be an even bigger loss for you.

i can't even recommend mental stability as armour or a requirement since taking that away from you will make me feel bad, so if you're healthy please don't damage yourself with this.

ADMISSION REQUIREMENT: freaks, executive dysfunction regulars, people in boring classes, insomniacs, and sadists can proceed. and i'm STILL sorry to y'all because i didn't enjoy this either.

... so tell me why social media discourse takes itself more seriously than these people.

i've had profs with multiple doctorates and influential publications that changed academic discussions forever who like, roleplay deltarune characters on discord with students to avoid marking papers or cancel the last 2 weeks of class because they don't want to do 9 am lectures and know that we're all busy and probably gonna skip anyways. profs who change their mind and take assignments out of the syllabus since no one wants to do them and they don't wanna mark them. profs who forget their own publication deadlines because they were reading fanfiction, profs who hate the university administration more than you do, profs with mental health issues, queer profs, profs who play video games, or have tumblr, or make spotify playlists for every lecture and think the grading system is stupid, profs who hand out extensions if you ask because they weren't going to mark them all at once anyways, and profs who assign weekly pdf articles instead of big books and 300 dollar textbooks— even their own— because they're exhausting to read and super overpriced.

so many instructors in english literature are shifting away from academic essays and towards multimedia creations and fun writing prompts. "i don't want to read a 30 page research essay when i can read a brief informal paragraph explaining how this video game has the same vibes as this anonymous poem!" and "you can record a podcast or paint a picture or write fanfiction or do a minecraft letsplay as a character or honestly? do whatever you want as long as there's passion with coherent thoughts behind it!" and "word limits are stupid because adding nonsense to drag out your argument makes the paper worse: write whatever comes naturally as long as you sufficiently explain your argument but please don't make me read 70 pages in a 200 level course this is supposed to be easy on everyone"

i'll be real with you: academics are fucking bored. the content is stale. students dismiss profs because they seem like pretentious assholes who don't care about who/what they teach, but 99.9% of the time profs only seem dry and unapproachable because no one reciprocated their enthusiasm, and it was super awkward during classes, so they stopped trying.

some younger profs haven't stopped trying because they understand and haven't gone numb to their own content yet, and it's so painful to watch them put out good vibes and get ghosted by hostile students too focused on marks or checking things off their to-do list when the profs themselves would prefer conversations over the stupid assignments they're required to give you.

we talk about gamers, artists, other freelancers, musicians, thespians, dancers, and so many other career paths that require sacrifices, risks, and prejudice THAT I AM NOT DISMISSING but at least there are people acknowledging the isolation, instability, mental and physical health issues, social-wide neglect, and resilience of these people. to some extent anyways. people who break free from the mold and do something they love in spite of the consequences?

well, haha, if you voluntarily pay a fuckton of money and spend the duration of your 20's in school when everyone around you is actually earning money from jobs or at least enjoying their friday nights THERE IS SOMETHING DEEPLY WRONG WITH YOU!!! even if you get placement, if you don't have tenure (hard to get) the faculty is gonna dump extra shit on you that needs to be perfect or say goodbye to your crappily paid job. do you know how many publications and conferences and deadlines and actual work goes into that crap?!? you're supposed to answer questions no one in your field gives a FUCK about with no guidance or support or outline even though everyone is demanding you get your research done and then they're never happy with it. the elders in your field hate you (a cycle that hasn't been broken yet because those older esteemed people with tenure were in your boat once too) and i have a feeling no one outside the academic world likes you either since you're too hard to understand, pretentious, have no life, etc...

oh and on top of that? you gotta teach a bunch of people who don't wanna be in your class, hate the content because a) another instructor ruined it for them or b) it's a degree requirement and tbh you probably didn't have a choice either since 9/10 times this isn't what you wanted to teach and/or the faculty admin made you include it anyways. all that other work? well now you have to grade shit that a bunch of people didn't wanna write: even if profs have TA's to help with grading they're still required to handle a chunk of it and also deal with TA questions/concerns/regradings/pissed students/policies they're confused about that you're ALSO confused about. oh and a bunch of stupid questions since people don't read instructions and decide blame you for that?

also... do you know HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO TEACH??? you have to like, triple understand it and predict/plan for every fucking misunderstanding/question/problem that you can think of. including stupid questions. you'll also get a lot of people who ask things you either don't have the answer for or have the answer for but someone doesn't like it. and even if you're a flawless instructor who can handle every academic/behind the scenes/personal/basic human responsibilities or task (unlikely but i know profs who come close for at least 2 of those) someone is gonna be a dick about it.

... that dick is probably a student who is pissed they had to actually go to at least one lecture, semi pay attention, and read assignment instructions to get a good mark.

... brats who get mad about deadlines because they have other responsibilities and need extensions who go batshit insane when marks aren't released yet

... some y'all aren't gonna like this one: disabled students who say academia is ableist and profs are always evil if they don't accommodate and show sympathy because mental/physical health hinders their performance... but the thought that their prof might be disabled never crosses their mind. just like how you don't need to disclose that information, they don't either! profs can be neurodivergent. they can have conditions you aren't aware of. suffer from chronic pain. are battling an illness you don't know about. they can have mental illnesses. trauma. so many other examples, and this isn't a disability per say but THEY CAN HAVE PERSONAL EMERGENCIES TOO. maybe it's menstrual cramps, executive disfunction, someone close to them died, they relapsed on SH or addiction, are being abused or have been abused in the past, forgot their meds that day, cried all night, couldn't get out of bed, their favourite/comfort character died so they're feeling sick and can't focus on the lesson, didn't have time to eat because a loved one needs them, got triggered by the subject matter and don't know how to teach it, have a surgery next weekend and are worried about giving extensions since they won't he able to grade/put your marks in before THEIR deadline, had a bad interaction or just woke up feeling like crap so they're crossing their fingers the lecture runs smoothly, only to get shitty emails or bullied on rmp?

and y'know what? i don't care if your prof seems like a dick, because we're open minded about those appearing to be rude who are actually victims that didn't receive enough support to to their personal experiences and/or generational/ethical conditioning... until they're a 60 year old white guy who rolls his eyes when someone slyly ask a question or counters something he said to "school him" and "prove he's an overpaid, outdated, problematic bigot." maybe it seems really badass to people who are 2 weeks into the course... but he's been correcting that crappy misinformation for 30 years and your "okay boomer" attitude couldn't be more misplaced; this guy has probably been in the field longer than your parents have been alive and you think he missed this obvious oversight after teaching this course for decades?

if you think for a second that someone like my imaginary prof has it easy because of gender/race/sexuality/religion/ableness there are so many flaws to you logic because a) you can't confirm any of that shit and b) do you think extensions, accommodations, and other resources were available when they were getting their degree or even during most of their lifetime? i mean shit, we're all about helping meemaw understand what pronouns are and how they're used until it's your prof who was beat by his dad and classmates because "university is for devil worshipping snobs and faggots! if you think you're too good for the family business you're dead to me" and thinks this is normal. it doesn't matter if his peers/instructors were all "cishet white men" (since no one else counted as a person and they couldn't be anything else anyways) because if they were all forcefed toxic masculinity and misinformation that literally no one else could correct, embracing the privilege was their only move.

yeah yeah this isn't limited to profs since it's a sloppy and reductive commentary on entire generations that i'm not putting enough effort into, so take it with a grain of salt and try to hear me out in good faith since i'm improvising as i write this in a very unstable state with no intentions of proofreading or ensuring my point is clear. basically, the privileges we acknowledge in others are not the only ones out there because WE have privileges they don't. if you want "privileged people who benefit from the prejudiced foundation of a society that oppresses and profits off of suffering minorities" feat. more social media hot take discourse buzzwords etc etc etc.

"fuck reductive labels because they're inaccurate and build on outdated western mentalities, but also i'm gonna continue to judge someone based on labels i give them because i 100% know a person's race/gender/sexuality/ableness/psyche/religion/other things i consider to be privilege better than they do because they don't know what these things are and if they do it's wrong!!!"

okay, maybe YOU can pick and choose queer content based on if a contributor has a "your fave is problematic" entry or if the representation is approved by the community, take "am i gay?" quizzes in middle school, overcome internal prejudices through social media discourse, learn ethics through fandom trial and error, see enough cancellations to understand what NOT to do, or get enough adhd tiktoks on your fyp to self diagnose/get a formal diagnosis/access medical support/read articles and understand the medical side of things to validate your experiences/practice coping mechanisms and google tips/talk to other people with adhd/work on accepting you aren't a defect who didn't try hard enough/receive accommodations/know you aren't alone even if your current environment doesn't accept you because other places and people do. maybe this segment is too long but you at least has the time and ability to read it, on an electronic device, which you can access almost any time btw, and it'll give you access to endless content (which is somehow even more endless if you download a vpn and switch regions: yeah, infinity plus infinity level shit. oh and that's like 1% of the internet we're using all the maths in this parentheses tangent that's within a tangent within a tangent multiplied by a billion more regressed all inside a whopping procrastination activity. yay me! ok no more meta shit i already forgot where this fragment/sentence/paragraph/section/rant was going 7 times now)

okay. maybe you got this far and are totally lost, and i have no way of knowing how extensive the psychological damage is because I'M not even reading this post, so the real conversation is between you and the words on your screen, i have nothing to do with this experience. my fingers may have typed everything so far but my brain has been playing shrek 2 the entire time, so this is your mental health check since there is no thesis or sense of direction but i'm exhausted despite not being mentally present unlike you. i am just typing words as they appear based on writing patterns and routine from when i'm awake.

^^^ that's not a joke or shitpost btw so even if i've led you to believe it is at some point, so i am gonna be fully transparent in the caplocked paragraph below. it is as close as you're getting to me, bitter-sweet-coffee or whatever name you know me by, being aware and in control of my actions for the entirety of this derailed rant:

OKAY, BEFORE WE RESUME OUR SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING, I AM FORCING MYSELF BACK INTO MY BODY AND STEALING BACK MY SENSE OF SELF JUST TO EMPHASIZE WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY, SO YOU KNOW I AM BEING HONEST. BABES, I AM REGAINING CONTROL OF MY PSYCHE TO ENSURE THAT AMIDST ALL THIS DISASSOCIATED WORDVOMIT, YOU CAN TRUST SOMETHING 100% THAT I ACTUALLY MEAN. A MOMENT IN THIS BITCH THAT MY LESS UNSTABLE SELF WILL ALSO AGREE WITH. CLARITY BURIED IN THE 11TH HOUR OF THIS NEVER-ENDING STREAM-OF-CONSCIOUSNESS WALL OF TEXT. MY DARLINGS, i have no fucking clue what this post is supposed to be. there was probably an outline or vague concept 3ish hours ago when i started, but good luck asking me what it is now! some parts read like a viral tumblr psa but there are way too many rushed ideas that branch into tangents and unanswered questions. yeah i know there's no fucking coherence, but even though i'm aware everything i'm putting online this week is extremely concerning, it doesn't make anyone feel better if i say i know or put disclaimers because instability makes people uncomfortable. yeah we like freaks on the internet and y'all expect this shit from me by now, but even this is too much for my shitposting reputation, because at least i typically have enough control over my brain to proofread or follow a train of thought. i mean shit, not even i'm following this and it's my writing, which isn't even the most confusing thing i'm able to decipher, so unless you're god or extremely unstable this is probably the most incoherent thing you've ever read or at least since beowulf... or like, french. or russian cursive. or doctor-handwriting. or flat earth conspiracies. or the code to sonic 06 because NO ONE knows what the fuck happened there. actually, if you've used wattpad or twitter there's a chance you can make sense of this, but if you use either of those apps enough to comprehend their contents you're probably not fluent enough in actual recognized languages to successfully open tumblr and get here in the first place. okay, i can't think of anymore jokes that aren't even good so let's move on! basically, i love y'all, and even if i know this post is a train-wreck of a mistake that will worry people, it ain't gonna stop me. sure i might be goofy, unstable, informal, and hard to understand, but i also have credentials as an academic, well-spoken, published, articulate, accomplished, REPUTABLE person when i need to be in formal settings offline. FOR THE RECORD that's not a flex: we know i don't do labels or ego stroking beyond semi-satirical rarepair supremacy jokes and sonic lore flexes. my genuine intelligence has been my saving grace because i just KNOW if people thought i was some american teen from tiktok with no formal education or career accomplishments who regurgitates misinformation they saw on twitter y'all would REPORT ME!!! I WOULD BE BULLIED OFFLINE! "who's this cunt with the bad takes?!?" followed by "no no dw it's just another bsc moment on tumblr" is so important to bring up rn because it's not supposed to be a brag guys, my educational reputation is all i have to justify the stupid shit i post on here 😭 if i didn't remind people i am smart and accomplished when i need to be you'd think this is all i'm capable of and conclude that my stupidity is my full potential... THIS ISNT EVEN MY FINAL FORM! gah, i'm getting imposter syndrome and this was supposed to be the shorter heart-to-heart in a "brief" intermission that turned into another derailment. alright, even if there are glimmers of big brain theses buried anywhere that just needed an author from a healthier time and place, we know damn well i'd procrastinate/overthink/forget them if i deleted or drafted this monstrosity for another day... also i'm on mobile we know tumblr won't fucking save this LMAO IF THIS DELETES OR THE APP CRASHES (if you're reading this it obviously didn't, so idk why i'm @ ing a nonexist target) I'M GONNA BE SO MAD EVEN THOUGH THIS IS GARBAGE, SO A GLITCH FROM TUMBLR WOULD DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR. ITS MY GARBAGE THAT I WASTED VALUABLE TIME AND ENERGY ON!!!

wow. i discovered the text-block limit, that's embarrassing. at least it forced me to finish a thought (kinda) and complete my moral takeaway from like, 3-5 thousand words ago. SO LET'S GET BACK INTO IT!

okay look, i'm not suggesting it's everyone's job to be a doormat to mean old professors. that was where this was going, right? because even though spent a really long time on privilege and how older generations that are stuck in their ways deserve more compassion, you shouldn't let some dude hatecrime people and torture students. generally speaking, you shouldn't write off bad behaviour as a trauma response because even though i believe everyone is a good person if they have enough support, compassion, resources, and are encouraged to want to change... bitch this isn't a fucking utopia we're living in a fucking death circus. the last thing on people's minds is giving harvey fucking weinstein a redemption arc even if that would fix some shit because awful people learning to be good people teaches growth and self awareness that leads to more accountability and prevents more bad people from hurting others because resources and normalized support and systemic causes for bad people blah blah blah even I'M sick of my own tangents.

actually... this proves my point— the most recent unfinished one that is. YEAH, WE CAN UNPACK THE MORALITY AND PROGRESSIVE IDEAL COURSES OF ACTION AND UTOPIAN TAKEAWAYS FOR EVERY FUCKING SITUATION. NOT EVERYTHING IS BLACK AND WHITE. NOTHING YOU SAY CAN EVER BE ALL-ENCOMPASSING BECAUSE WORDS ARE HUMAN INVENTIONS THAT ARE NOT DESIGNED TO ACCOMMODATE EVERY SCENARIO. YAY, MISQUOTED NIHILISTIC DERRIDIAN HOT TAKES FOR MY GAY SONIC BLOG, RIGHT?!?

we all get it (probably). everything has an exception. but, as i stare anxiously at my clock and try to calculate how many hours i've been typing for instead of working on my actual work that matters, it's kinda obvious:

we don't have the fucking time or energy to do in depth discussions for every conceivable thing. no position will ever be enough, no words will capture truth in its rawest form because humans... have no clue what the FUCK they're doing. language, arts, the scientific method: the tools we use to express ourselves, the very resources we rely on as we try to pinpoint something undeniable, something constant, the way we go about actually PROVING something??? we can't even fucking agree on those! we made maths and sciences and words and arts but we can't even trust them because... well. if WE fuck up a lot and established ways to not fuck up... they're also fucked up.

sure we programmed computers and say they make perfect numbers but girl,,, WE made the computer and the numbers. sure it finishes our formulas better than we do but did the guy making the formula do a good job? maybe, but how do we know it hasn't been warped over time to an unrecognizable degree. there are billions of languages with endless dialects and regional variations for each one. WHO GENDERED THE FUCKING NOUNS IN FRENCH??? YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE ARE WORDS THAT ONLY EXIST IN ONE LANGUAGE? LIKE, THERE ARE NO TRANSLATIONS??? okay, so what the FUCK does that mean if we're the ones inventing translations in the first place? don't make me think about all the dead languages and their secrets or all the lost texts and stories... aight now i'm just sad

sceptic prompts aside, i hope you understand what i mean when i say we're never gonna do a perfect job of explaining shit. that's probably why i started so many things here and got distracted because i predict "what if's" and feel the need to sub-explain every ambiguity. that's not a valid excuse for this literary hatecrime but it's a bit of context i suppose.

where was this going? see my point?!? okay this was supposed to be the quick return to my pre-intermission thoughts that fixes shit, but nah it caused more problems. adding to the never-ending pile of jibberish.

RIGHT THE CRAPPY PROFS. yeah you have bigger things to worry about just don't be a dick and treat academia with a petty attitude but then demand acceptance and understanding because peace and love and social justice mantras. the diversity you're advocating for should extend to those who didn't have it, even if those people are shitty and misinformed as a result of their less progressive upbringing.

BASICALLY, EVEN THE PEOPLE YOU DONT THINK HAVE IT HARD DESERVE THE COMPASSION I WAS PUSHING EARLIER. the sobstory profs and the absolute cunts you want to strangle are both dealing with shit and i don't expect you to "fix them" but if i see people using bad prof anecdotes to justify hating all/some educators i'll eat your skin like it's kfc or something. idk, apparently people LOVE chicken skin! insert a featherless biped joke here if you want and if it'll make sense for you, i just wanted a threat that wasn't gonna be too mean because reading to this point is punishment enough even if you deserve worse lmao. the "privileged" profs still went through hell and the last thing we need are more generalizations based on profiling. mean profs could have been nice once so maybe power through the rbf and dryness by continuing to be nice and attentive: you might just save someone! and future students! and your gpa!

okay, no more lectures. here's some crap i wrote at the beginning that kept getting pushed lower and lower as i went on a billion tangents. it's probably more academic advice and silliness but i'm not gonna bother checking so uh, take it away past me...? yikes, good luck:

so, you don't wanna do that assignment? well, the prof doesn't wanna read it, neither does the TA. same shit new term, no one benefits, and they're marking a LOT more essays than you'll ever have to write

so, you didn't understand the reading and are afraid to say something in lecture in case you don't know what you're talking about? chances are your prof is either in the same boat and has no coherent plan for the lecture and also doesn't know wtf is going on, or this is their special interest they dedicated their career to and they'd rather just infodump the whole class anyways.

"i'm scared to go to office hours" these guys either have no social life and/or family, or they do and none of them understand what the fuck they're saying. do you know how hard it is to have normal conversations or make small talk when 99% of your brain is shit no one but maybe 4 other scholars in the world give a shit about?!? EXAMPLE FOR YOU FANDOM FOLK: IT'S NOT JUST INTERACTING WITH NORMAL PEOPLE, IT'S TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS IN A DEAD FANDOM WHEN YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IS A NOBODY AND YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP HAS NO CONTENT BESIDES YOUR OWN, EXCEPT FOR MAYBE 2 OTHER PEOPLE WHO YOU'RE TOO AWKWARD TO INTERACT WITH BEYOND FRIENDLY TAGS WHEN YOU REBLOG THEIR ART.

short answer to that ^^^ go to office hours. especially humanities profs or weird science profs, not just because you will do a LOT better on assignments but because they're lonely and appreciate it. when i go to office hours my profs are either trauma dumping or incoherently rambling about blorbos from their manuscript or batshit crazy theories no one wants to write/hear about.

like, think about how you feel when you get asks or nice tags or comments on your fanfic/art/videos. even questions about your au or opinions! hot takes maybe?

what about when new people follow you or ask questions about the fandom you've been in for years: when someone asks a silly question about the lore are you more likely to see red and fucking kill them, or use this as an excuse to infodump and excitedly point them towards secondary content and inform/motivate them, even splashing in your own personal theories? i know it's the second one don't lie to me or yourself.

at the end of the day, i just want people to know that the stimulating debates people have online in the 21st century are the fucking green forums, while the "scholars" and esteemed academics that so many people write off as pretentious or too serious are fucking losers. they're freaks. i want every academic to have tumblr because they're SO FUNNY OH MY GOD!!!

when i see y'all talk about blorbo from your shows all i can think is "damn this is more coherent than when i ask my prof a question and she excitedly rambles for 20 minutes without actually answering anything because she's so overjoyed someone finally asked" and am reminded of all the special interest/hyperfixation positivity. researchers are just people paid to get lost in their own thoughts and words because their niche is their universe and it gets lonely when no one else bothers to check in.

oh, and if they're dedicating their entire life to something no one gives a shit about and worker their ass off to make it profitable... they're one of us. probably into fandoms. assigns music to their work. make memes about their theories because no one takes them seriously anyways. absolute fucking LEGENDS

TLDR which i know y'all need:

profs are based as hell fjdksldldlds go talk to your instructors they're lonely like you are and listening goes a long way. the internet is way too serious now to the point our "serious" communities that we believe are more strict are actually the most lax places.

so like... when we talk about tumblr being the worst place ever and brought up it's cursed reputation for YEARS but then actually witness 2022 and go "nevermind.... this is the only fucking place online to exist safely" because what the FUCK are those other places doing???

yeah. that's academia. the tumblr of conversations (aka full of freaks but the fun kind: WAY LESS THREATENING AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGING than the "silly sites" which have evolved into... no i don't even have a metaphor or joke for this one. it's just awful lmao)

cool idk how to end this after wasting 1/4 of a day making no sense, here's george:

[egg-emperor]

What do you think of the Theory / headcanon for Sonic in the Black Knights that eggman was probably Merlin in that world

Oh yeah, I remember seeing some of that years ago. I've had a few ideas for what kinds of positions he could have in the world but couldn't think of any existing figures to assign to him besides Merlin. So if he had to be assigned to one, I think he could be a good choice!

I think him being a wise enchanter/wizard instead of a smart scientist would be an interesting contrast. It'd make sense for him to master magic when he can't have tech. Having supernatural powers/abilities of things like prophecy and shapeshifting would be pretty badass. And he would have important involvement with his history with Arthur and Caliburn and all, which is what we want.

And since I always love to imagine Eggman meeting all his counterparts, I can picture him judging him for his magic if they met because he thinks science is far superior. But he'd still be interested in what he could do with it to see if it could be useful to him anyway. XD I like when his counterparts have both similarities and differences for fun interactions like that, so it works well!

But taking aspects of Merlin's stories into account, that would make him Merlina's grandfather and give him romantic interests. I prefer not to imagine his counterparts having romantic interests or biological descendants either. But if it was a different approach like adoption and he lacked the weird connections with Lady of the Lake/Amy and stuff then yeah, I could get behind it lol

I mean, I can't see main universe Eggman adopting either but since this counterpart would have a different life and position, maybe he would be the type to do so. I'd prefer to imagine it happening like that than any other way. Then it could be an intriguing difference to see how things with Merlina might have been and his interactions with her could be cute that way! ^^

Also feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any details because I find the Arthurian Legend much more complex and difficult to piece together/comprehend than the Arabian Nights because of all the different versions of the stories and characters and Idek which we're even going by lol

wait that'd mean the reason why my husband isn't in it is because he's dead. oh my god I'm a widower noooo fnsngmdkhdghk

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

some advice for any of my younger followers:

i know that staying up til 3 am every night sounds fun or doing it every so often sounds fun as well. on top it it all, especially through your uni years, how long you stay to do assignments or in general and how little sleep and how you function on a daily basis and STILL get to class become some type of bragging rights and practically learned habits.

but goddamn. the older you get, the more it hits you. bc last night i accidentally stayed up til 3am and. holy shit. i feel so fucking sick. i’m so fucking tired. i had to nap and it still did nothing. so i slept a grand total of 2hrs 40mins last night, according to my sleep monitor on my fitness watch. while my usual average hours are around 6-7 hours. some times 6 or 5. im self-caring myself today by not going on my walk even though it’s sunny and nice. i had another night a few weeks ago where i stayed up til 2 am and i was ruined the next day.

this is obvs different if you’ve got adhd or anxiety or depression (i have the latter; i’m still hoping to see a therapist eventually to figure out if i have adhd or just anxiety/anxiety & depression) or other mental health issues or have autism (from what i’ve read on here, and in general). some people may function better on fewer hours of sleep idk.

but seriously though: everyone look after yourselves and your sleep. it’s not fun feeling like a sleepless train wreck everyday…. and i went through that before i got on my sleeping meds back in 2015… but also it’s how i feel now on nearly only 3hrs sleep. for the love of god. take care of your sleeping schedules. not getting adequate sleep every night isn’t a quirky or fun thing to do on the regular. it ruins your days and your overall daily life if done frequently and actually, for me, worsened my depression and anxiety while at uni (besides the fact that these things were keeping me up in general anyway but still).

and i guess the same thing could be said of oversleeping…. but i barely do that now like i was doing back when i finished high school in 2013 and til about 2016 with uni. just idek. look after your overall sleep health. because, either way, it’ll come back to fucking bite you when you’re older.

[oikawasbliss]

10 with iwaizumi bae fuck writers block all my homies hate writers block 👺‼️

ikr fuck writers block 😒 they're the worst, the bane of my existence.

— [ 12:37 AM ] camping with the seijoh boys

note: i got carried away this was supposed to be a drabble 😭😭 idek if this is considered fluff 💀 but please enjoy!

word count: 1.1k | tags: best friends to lovers(?), manager!reader fluff & unrequited love

please reblog if enjoyed!!♡

you were in your tent alone attempting to fall asleep but all you're doing is move yourself in uncomfy positions. the repetitive turns, east and west, you had a whole tent for yourself but you couldn't seem to properly rest.

so you sat, thinking of anything else to do while watching your phone clock pass a minute, there wouldn't be anything much to do considering how almost all of the vbc members are asleep and you didn't want them to wake up with their dreams disturbed. also if there were any server connection to where you are then maybe you could've done something to ease your boredom.

you then thought of just strolling through the woods in the middle of the night, seems relaxing, alone in the dark. sounds perfect.

you felt courage as your hand reluctantly slid the zipper open of your tent.

your eyes widen in surprise as you feel warm and spot a dim brightness of fire in the distance. is someone still awake? you thought as you stood up and walked, following that has been taken to your attention.

getting near you saw a figure sitting on a log, seeing the spikes of their hair made you think that it was either the vbc members kindaichi or iwaizumi.

still, you have to be cautious in case it was neither of them, though thankfully as you get close the person was indeed iwaizumi, having almost large arms and a more dangerously spikier hair than the first year, you immediately knew it was him, well he was your best friend after all.

“ hey.. ” you called him quietly, he heard your voice and turned to you in a flash feeling like he'd get caught for staying so late in the campfire and ordering him to go back to his tent.

“ oh hey manager. ” he responded idly, facing his head back to the light of the fire.

“ oh come on, just call me by my name. ” you then carely took a seat beside him, “ why are you up this late? ”

“ should ask you the same, why are you awake? ”

“ hmm… ” you slightly squint your eyes, thinking of a reason as to why you are still standing awake, you should've taken the question back to him but you felt like actually giving a reason for him to answer back. “ i can't sleep? well i was the first one to sleep but i just seem to not… you know? ”

iwaizumi lets out a short chuckle, “ i get it, don't worry. ”

after that the whole air between you two turned quiet, only the clicking of the fire burning the wood beneath it.

you didn't want to sleep and go back to your tent, you just got up and you're not gonna go back now because of the awkward silence.

you broke the silence and started making up a topic that you two will talk about.

and you guys did, talking and transitioning to a new topic as you guys go on. smiles plastered to both of your faces as one another tells their story, you didn't even have to check the time if it's late or not, you sure as heck don't feel sleepy at all, you want to keep talking and talking. well, it's always been fun talking to iwaizumi, you don't want this babbling to end.

after a long series of laughter you two stopped trying to consume more of the hot breeze made by the flame in front of you two.

“ it's been forever since we've talked like this.. ” the man brought up, raising both of his hands to warm them by the warm air.

you felt that this is getting in a deep turn, but it's also a relief that you two are able to be open to each other after days acting like you two have a neutral relationship.

“ well, it's mostly on me, i had a lot of things to work on and i guess i got too busy… ”

“ oh no! don't blame yourself, we were all really busy and didn't have time to hang out, oikawa really missed us three being together. ”

the edges of your lip curled slightly, grinning by the words the other said. “ it's been that long huh? ”

“ —if only that man is still awake maybe we'll have more fun together. ” your smile transitioned to a smirk, wiggling your brows making that bulb of his light up to get the hint, and he did.

“ wanna wake him up? ” he asked, darting his eyes at the tent the brunette's currently sleeping in.

“ it's like you read my mind. ” your smile becomes wider as you place your hands on the log, helping you to stand up.

“ wait— before we do that. can i talk to you for a sec? ” he intervened, you don't know if he's serious or not, regardless you still chose to stay and listen.

the truth is he likes you, a lot. but these feelings for you were only kept to himself, not telling anyone, not even oikawa, though he had this fear of losing connection to you even more considering how poorly you guys are getting along with the packed schedules that were assigned to both of you.

it would sound weird to confess immediately, for this was iwaizumi's original plan, to confess properly but he didn't think this was the good time to do so.

“ ha...hajime? ” you hesitantly tilt your head to see the other's face, lost in thought, what will he say? you thought. this sounds serious, it will totally ruin the vibe when waking up oikawa but… i still want to listen. you kept talking to yourself inside your head until hajime faces up and looks at you.

“ I don’t know if you know this but, I love you. ”

there was silence, you didn't know if he's serious at all, he just said that out of the blue.

if he was... who are you to reject him?

“ wha— huh?— that was so sudden. ” you gasp as if like a bulb above your head lit up. “ was that a confession?! ” you added in a teasing tone, your eyes widened, and your lips smiled subconsciously.

iwaizumi didn't know what he just said too, it just vomited out of his mouth.

he blinked, grinned and looked up to the stars displayed at the beautiful night sky.

“ whatever or however you understood it. ”

your hues quickly faced to the other, his eyes were glistening by the reflection of the stars above, however i understood it? you thought to yourself once more, well your first thoughts on what he said was a confession, confessing his love for you, but you didn't want to assume quickly, but he said that to you, the exact three words, then he probably really meant that.

you furrow your eyes in curiosity, you wanted to force him to say what he actually meant by it, but at the same time, your pride told you that it was indeed a confession.

you slowly lay your head onto his shoulder, a grin plastered on your face as you two continued to watch the stars

“ you know? i love you too. ”

[iiasha-archived]

Here’s another ask game for ya! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

ooo okay.. i’m really bad at these kinds of things but i’ll try my best ❤️ i would have loved to do all my mutuals but my brain isn’t strong enough for everyone so i’m so sorry ahead of time if i didn’t get you!! 😭

edit: also i just realized this said COMEBACK aesthetics but i just did svt. well. anything lmao

@s0ftbb as clap: c just gives me such wonderfully colorful and bright vibes (esp with the use of the colored text lmao it always adds such a nice extra flair to all ur posts <3) and also all her creations and videos give me such HAPPY and LET’S HAVE A GOOD TIME vibes u know what i mean 🥺 and also just that splash of insanity that we all love <3 in particular i’m thinking of that montage scene near the end where there’s like confetti flying everywhere and it’s in slow-mo and stuff lmao

@rosevlolets as fallin flower: alexis gives me super soft and refined and of course flowery vibes! i think it also helps that all her tags for the svt members are literally flowers so it always feels like a cherry blossom breeze every time i see her on the dash or in my notifs <3 (oh gosh i hope that wasn’t TOO cheesy lmao) hehe but yeah i always think flowers when it comes to alexis which is perfect for fallin’ flower

@scoupsy as fear + fearless being the sister song: not because dreamy is intimidating or anything LMAO but i think this association immediately came to mind because of her astounding and beautiful graphics, i feel like they match the fear aesthetic super well. there’s like kind of a dark and elegant atmosphere i always associate with her gfx and in turn her but in like that really beautiful way <3 but ALSO fearless comes in bc i find dreamy’s personality super, well, fearless LMAO and just badass. i really love how she doesn’t hesitate to speak up for herself ❤️

@jonghan as (never-ending) aju nice: GO CRAZY GO STUPID GO WILD LOSE YOU’RE FUCKING SHIT AS WE GO WILD EVEN MORE!! i think yza perfectly encapsulates the never-ending aju nice stage as well as all the crazy antics that come along with it especially as of late LMAO. and again i tend to associate people’s content with their i guess. being? lmao but aju nice is equally as colorful and vibrant as her gifs PLUS she’s so prolific (e.g. never-ending but in the best way) like god damn idk how you keep up with it all afjksldjf

@soonhoonsol​ as healing: idk man chey just gives me very... lmao HEALING vibes :D seeing you on the dash and in my notifs fills me with this very feel-good “ahhh it’s chey!!!” and upbeat feeling hehe <3 and you almost always have such nice tags as well that i read them sometimes and i’m like 🥺🥺🥺 my soul = cleansed. but there’s also this sense of like... i hope this is for the long run you know? LMAO by that what i mean is the whole thing of healing is like DON’T stop this healing right basically i hope you continue to bless the dash for a long time whether it be with your creations or simply good vibes <3

@gotseventeens​ as change up: i don’t really have a reason for this other than vibes? LMAO i’m using vibes all over the place but yeah like for some reason the vibe i get from belle reminds me of the bold colors and suave/cool nature of the change up mv hehe ❤️ i think it’s because belle’s vibes also strike me with this air of confidence that is still kind of chill/lowkey about it lmaooo like YEAH you totally got this ;D

@tzhao12 as 2019 TTT (camping ver.) but specifically when they’re talking about their feelings at the end: because what speaks better about everlasting friendships than the friend i’ve been blessed with for what. is it 12 years now. she’s probably not even gonna see this for like 3 months bc unlike me she escaped tumblr. anyways tiff i’d die for you can’t wait for y’all to jumpscare me this thursday <3 i’m gonna cry i’m serious <3

@vernons as any vocal unit song: oona gives me very soft and gentle vibes which is a lot of what i get from most of vocal unit’s songs! if i had to pick exactly one maybe we gonna make it shine but that’s probably just influenced by me having listened to it recently hehe <3 also a lot of the nature aesthetics and makeup looks i see you post on your main blog feel like they fit in as the visual side of the aesthetic the vocal unit songs give me if that makes any sense??? LMAO

@heartgyus as snap shoot, + the creative process behind it: so in my heart rhys is like a leading mingyu stan here so naturally i had to pick something with mingyu’s entire heart and spirit behind it LMAO but in general rhys vibe and aesthetic gives me SUPER happy/fluffy upbeat like “whoo hoo!” vibes??? afdjklajf a little silly a lot of cute and a lot of fun :D  

@haniehae as pinwheel: for some reason when i think of anna i get this sense of a breath of fresh air??? idek why this is another one i can’t really explain hahaha but yeah pinwheel is what immediately came to mind! i think also because when i see a lot of your moodboards pinwheel kind of naturally comes as like the backtrack for a lot of them??? i think it’s something about the instrumentals of the song. anna just overall also gives me very relaxing vibes whenever i see her on the dash hehe <3

@xuseokgyu​ as when they were filming the 2019 gose intro: okay this is really specific but for some reason that’s what came to mind afjkadslj MY REASONING is that belle just gives me the vibes of being like. super enthusiastic and supportive about EVERYTHING whether it be her own work or the work others are doing!!! also lowkey i get parental vibes from her LMAO so it somehow reminds me of when they were in the house and seungkwan was like “OKAY KIDS... GATHER AROUND...” lmao but in general the whole energy of that entire thing where they were like “okay here’s this thing we’re gonna DO IT” but in a enthusiastic/happy way is why i picked this jfaksldf

@17hateblog as seventeen’s humor: kay and i don’t really talk but she consistently has the funniest fucking tags ever known to mankind. it might not specifically be the same as the humor seventeen show us in, say, gose, but the way they both make me die laughing is the same <3 it doesn’t even matter what the post is everything she puts on her blog is an adventure and i am fucking here for it. AND she’s a jun stan so what’s not to love <3

@vixenjun as light a flame: because kaya and her blog literally embody sexiness + junhui in that choreo....... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> everything. i also really feel like her aes kind of fits that dark mysterious too-good-for-you beauty vibe that i also get from light a flame lmao (but underneath that kaya is obviously a sweetheart <3)

@happysmilebtr as hitorijanai: anna is just like. genuinely one of the most supportive and happy vibing people i’ve met on here? lmao and i feel bad bc i basically have now left you on read KJFDLAJDS but all our dms have been so much fun like i love just talking about anything <333 but yeah the way you’re so open and loving and supportive 100% gives me hitorijanai vibes and the message behind it :D