#idek how much of this makes sense but whatever

[oswinsdolma]

the bbc merlin writers actually went so hard when they decided "actually no, magic isn't some grotesque perversion of the natural order, it is nature itself" because like. it would have been so easy to write merlin's internal conflict as one between the inherent evil of magic and the good of humanity, to put arthur in the right for his persecution and to turn merlin into some kind of doomed hero within himself, but no. because in the end, magic had very little to do with anything, it was just something that was there. morgana didn't turn evil because she was magic, she did because she was scared and angry and manipulated. merlin doesn't wait for arthur because of the promise of a golden age, at least not really; he does it because he loves arthur and wants him back. in the disiir episode, if it had only ever been about restoring magic to camelot, merlin should have sacrificed arthur in a heartbeat for the promise of magic's legalisation. hell, even mordred didn't kill arthur because of his views on magic, he did so because arthur took away the person he loved. like yeah it's a fantasy show and magic is a massive part of that world, but in the end it was a story about people, and all the hopes and dreams within it are deeply and tragically human, and that's what makes it a good story, what keeps us going apeshit over it even ten years after it ended. in a way, there are two shows in the same way there are two merlins: one about magic, "emrys" and the other about friendship, and like merlin, the audience has to choose which one we should care about most. and every time, we make the same choice as he did: we, however foolishly, choose humanity. we sob at the tragic trajectory and scream as we see destiny gathering traction, but isn't that the point of tragedy?? if we followed logic over emotion, tragedy would never take place, but equally, if we followed logic over emotion, the idea of tragedy itself would become lost to obselescebce. the whole point of the show is to tell us that "no, we can't define things as one or the other, because anything with meaning exists as something more complex, because to give something meaning is to perceive it with a human gaze". magic may be a force of nature, but good and evil are ideas perpetuated by our innate, incurable humanity, and it is here we have a choice. we can't choose our destinies but we can choose from which direction to embrace it, and that's a surprisingly radical, beautiful thing.

[crimsonchaos]

Love it when I’m just minding my own business and then out of nowhere Past Me’s sentimentality decides to come back years later for Present Me to find that basically rubs salt in old wounds. Yet Present Me’s dumb sentimentality won’t let me just throw away something like that because it would be like trying to throw away a part of my life when I was genuinely happy with things. God, I really am hopeless, aren’t I?

[snekdood]

so august 2018 is when my peak being-crazy-made art craziness happened, huh

[rimunagenius]

And They Were Roomates

☙ pairing: Kate Martin x Roommate!reader

☙ word count: 2.5k words

☙ warnings: RPF!! use of y/n, not proof read.

☙ ri speaks: I need more kate martin content and i haven’t been fed the specific ones that i need so i must write them to the best of my horrendous abilities. Idek how good this will be…im sorry in advance LMFAO. also this is two thousand five hundred words but it looks a lot shorter….crying

this is also a general announcement that i will indeed be refreshing my blog, so that means new and updated master lists and posts are coming out soon so sorry if you get a spam of rimunagenius on your feed!!

Part 1

| Series Masterlist |

When you first started in Iowa, you never expected the immediate love you recieved from the people there. They were friendly, generous, and so much different from people in California. Especially your roommate, Kate Martin. You had met her shortly after your first day of Junior year. A while after, you two became roomates because you needed more space, and she needed someone to split rent with in her apartment. Sounded like a great deal to both of you.

"You don't mind?" You asked unsure. Not wanting to impose on her, possibly ruining plans with making a deal with her actual teammates.

"No! Not at all! I really like you and you're alot of fun! I'd love for you to move in with me." She beamed at you, giving you a side hug when she saw your expression change. You both were ecstatic.

Since then, you had been living with Kate for almost two years. You two had become inseparable. Always on campus together, meeting up between classes to get coffee or lunch together, sometimes with Caitlin and your other friends. It was great. You were happy with your home away from home.

You had transfered from UC Irvine and decided to pursue your degree and career in sports medicine here in Iowa City. You were one of the new athletic trainees and ocassionly a photographer; your previous major was in photography and Lisa and the administration had really loved your resume and work, so they hired you as a part time (barely) photographer, for whenever they wanted more shots than what they usually wanted or a fill in.

Currently, you were needed in the Carver stadium to help record a mic’d up practice session for the team. It was for the Iowa Hawkeye Youtube channel. You had experience because you too had a youtube channel that you started when you first transferred to Iowa. So you had told Lisa and the coaches that you’d be able to film it.

“Hey, Gabbie!” You smiled at her as you walked into the locker room, approaching Kate’s cubby to set your stuff down. Kate telling you this morning before she left that you could put your stuff with hers.

“Hey, girlie! So guess what?” You and Gabbie loved to gossip. It was so much fun and it started when you were redoing the tape on her ankles, and she looked down so you asked her about it, and since then, you both have told eachother whatever gossip you had.

“Oh my god, what?” You took your sweater out of your bag, the locker room being chilly, so you could imagine the court.

“So that boy Nick in my econ class, totally asked about you today. I didn’t want to crush his hopes and dreams but I did say you weren’t his type.” She took a seat next to where you were standing to put her shoes on.

“Wait, the boy I said would so be my type if he was a girl? That Nick?” You laughed because he was really nice and such a sweet guy but he just wasn’t a girl. Men are pretty but only to look at.

“Yes!”

“How’d he take it?” This guy has asked you out once before but you just said you weren’t looking to date. Probably should’ve elaborated on that one.

“But he asked me “Oh, who is? Does he go here?” And I was like,” she paused to reenact the face she made. “I said it too fast so I didn’t have time to say “Oh, It’s long distance or something” sooo I don’t know.” She rambled and just pulled her hair into a small ponytail.

“What do you mean? That made no sense, Gab.” You were confused. She looked guilty of something but you didn’t want to pressure her but you also really wanted to know what she had said about you to Nick.

“I kinda sorta said you had a girlfriend already, and he took that as ‘Oh, she’s dating her roommate Kate Martin’ because he said he supposedly sees you guys together everywhere.” She meant well. It really wasn’t her fault that Nick totally misread the situation.

“Oh shit.” Your jaw dropped. You thought it was awkward but now it went full fledged horrendous. You were already out, and anyone who followed your insta would’ve saw it in your stories, so you weren’t worried about that but you were worried for Kate.

“So what do we do about the fact that a random kid on campus thinks your dating Kate?”

“Ok wait, i’m actually scared. Like how do you think Kate will take it?” You were talking to Gabbie and immediately knew you fucked up by seeing the expression on her face.

“How will I take what?” Kate walked in, hair down, dressed in her practice uniform, and sat on the chair next to you. You hadn’t realized that you sat down with Gabbie. Lost in the conversation and frenzy of the new mess that could possibly affect yours and Kate’s social life dramatically.

“I’m just gonna…” Gabbie got up, and walked out, meeting the others outside on the court.

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you in a minute.” You said to the girl before turning to Kate. You had caught her up on the lore behind you and Nick, if you could even call this one sided infatuation lore. Now you just had to tell her the problem. “So Gabbie tried to tell him that I was already seeing some girl. But Nick jumped to this whole conclusion that me and you were together.”

You watched her face. Looking for any sort of negative reaction. Waiting for her to blow up on you. “Oh.”

“And when Gabbie tried to say it wasn’t you and that were just friends, and that my supposed girlfriend lives in California, he got up and left. So it may be possible that the whole Iowa college campus will assume we’re together.” You played with your fingers as you watched her some more. Still waiting for her explosion.

“I mean, I don’t mind. He sounded weird so if it keeps the guy away from you, i’m okay with being the ‘pretend’ girlfriend.” She shrugged her shoulders. Grabbing her shoes from behind you, your chair sitting right infront of the cubby that belonged to her:

“Kate. Are you sure? This is so random and so strange and I would totally get it if your uncomfortable.” You wanted it to be clear that this situation could go away if she was uncomfortable. If she was uncomfortable you’d go on a date with him and just tell him it won’t work after. It’d be bad for you if he goes around saying rude things but you couldn’t care less about people you don’t know. You just wanted to make sure Kate wasn’t the one feeling weird.

“Yeah, I mean—I don’t have to kiss you in public, right? I feel like that’s overstepping a boundary we have not thought about setting.”

“No, Kate. You do not have to kiss me in public. Wait so you’d kiss me in private?” You looked at the girl, now fully joking around as you wiggled your eyebrows and laughed.

“Oh yeah for sure.” Kate made a funny face while nodding her head before grabbing her water and standing up. You following behind to get this practice and video recording started.

“Oh, and your getting mic’d up today. I don’t know if Coach Lisa told you.” You say as you both walk onto the court.

You and Kate had showered, separately unfortunately, and sat on the couch. You had been trying to convince her the whole way home from practice to watch New Girl. She agreed after ten excruciating minutes of your nagging.

You were deciding to pick the snack you wanted, grabbing M&Ms you bought at the store yesterday, snickers, chips, and popcorn. You wanted to watch as many episodes as possible because you both started school late tomorrow and it was an off day for practice.

“What are these practices anyways? Are they like preseason workouts to get back in shape or?” You watched Kate as she picked her snacks.

“Yeah. Basically. We’re technically only allowed to goof off a little during those ones.” Kate laughed, referring to the mic’d up practice today. Coach Lisa usually wants a more focused and intimate space during the actual season. “Oh my. What if we just kill this whole tub of Neapolitan ice cream?” Kate took it out of the freezer and suddenly all your snack choices went back to the cabinets.

“Ou deal, Martin.” You grabbed two spoons before making your way to the couch. Grabbing the blanket off the backrest, and throwing it over you both. You both settled and got comfy ready to start the marathon of New Girl.

You were both sitting in silence after you decided to just do a highlight reel of episodes since you weren’t going to force Kate to watch multiple seasons. "Are you excited for this upcoming season? Your last season?" You asked as you looked to your right. Kate was seated next to you while you both decided to disregard bowls and just eat the ice cream straight from the tub. She held the tub as you both dug what you wanted out of it. She shoved more ice cream into her mouth and she smiled and nodded her head.

"I am. Just scared and sad." She said somewhat incoherently due to not having swallowed the mouthful of ice cream. You nodded your head. You had already adapted to the Kate language. When she talked while yawning, mouth full, her body language, and her facial expressions. Not many people were fluent like you, and you were actually proud to be one of the people. So you understood exactly what she meant. You saw everything else she was feeling just by the look in her eye and the shape of her lips.

But you also felt sad for her too. You’d both be a sixth-year, grad students, in a couple months. This year bigger for her more than you. This year being her last and final run in her collegiate career. This was huge. You both knew this but wanted to focus on the nicer aspects. You and the girls would support her and be her friend even if she decided to never touched a basketball again. You guys were for life.You didn’t play, so you felt there was nothing you thought you could say other than just being her friend.

"You'll be okay, sweetheart." You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. A small comforting hug, atleast a hug at which this position provided, and kissed the top of her head. You only used terms of endearment like this in small, comforting, intimate moments. You felt this was the right time. "I'll be here for you, and you have the girls. We’ll back you in whatever you do, outside of basketball and school. You can’t ever get rid of us if you tried. But I will give you all the support and all the ice cream you can eat right now." You smiled at the blonde. You both stared at eachother, a little too long, “We are not beating the supposed ‘girlfriend’ allegations right now, Martin.” She bursted out laughing. You not far behind.

"But seriously, thanks shortie." She said as she patted your knee, right before she lost it again and laughed out loud. You immediatey cringed at the name, and pushed her away from you.

"OH! my god! Immediately no, Kate." You laughed again, half embarassment and half amusement. "That is not funny. You sound like a frat boy." That earned another snort laugh from Kate.

"You're right. I'm sorry." You side-eyed her. Pulling the blanket a little closer to you. Scooting over the tiniest bit over to feign anger and hurt. Still managing to catch her movement through your peripheral.

"Bro, I'm not even that much shorter than you. Just short three inches." You rolled your eyes at your best friend, turning back to the episode where Jess and Nick kiss eachother for the first time. Your favorite episode.

"Yes, I know. I know how you feel about my short jokes. I almost cried when you ignored me for three and a half days." Kate chuckled as she looked to you her smile dropping, a frown forming when you still didn't acknowledge her. "Oh, come on, y/n. Don't ignore me again, please! I was kidding." She asked you while chuckling nervously, she asked you two more times, when that didn’t work she insisted on poking you for a two minutes straight.

"Okay, Kate. I forgive you. Now shush, my favorite part is coming up." You kept your eyes on the screen and tried to reach for your spoon in the tub. Your fingers reaching everywhere but your spoon. "Kate can you help me please?"

"Yes, but haven't you already seen this show like eight-billion times?" She grabbed a spoon, whichever one was closest, forgetting which one was which, and scooping a good spoonful, before bringing the spoon to your mouth. "Open." You opened your mouth and took the ice cream happily.

"Thank you, you big teddy bear. God's gift, I'm telling you." You said as you watched the best scene on sitcom TV about to unfold.

"Im just going to pretend you're talking about me and not your show." Kate whispered. "You're welcome, pretty." She said louder so you could hear.

That got your attention. It wasn’t something that you hadn’t heard come out of her mouth and directed to you before; she's called you pretty multiple times when you had asked if the outfit you were wearing out looked good or if the makeup you put on was good for this dinner a girl you were seeing on and off wanted to take you out to. But she's never once used it in this context. You got a nervous feeling in your stomach, something you recognized as butterflies for sure. Fighting the urge to smile at the compliment, a small blush creeping up on your cheeks. Fighting the thoughts you had about her.

It was something new but this one thing…this you weren't going to get used to. You guys were best friends and just roomates. You can't feel anyway about this.You decided to ignore it and take it as a compliment in the moment to make up for the short joke. It definitely wasn’t something serious as you were making.

"I was talking about both of you. The TV and you, Kit-Kate." You put your arm around her shoulder and continued to watch the show. Watching the scene you had been waiting for all night to play. “This was the best cinematic experience I have ever had.” You whispered, now reaching for the spoon again for some ice cream.

Kate beating you to it, already having got another spoonful for you, feeding it to you like she did a couple of seconds ago. You smiled and thanked her before you both decided to cut the show, and search for a movie of both your choosing this time.

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[sayingyournames]

speaking of devouring fics where sirius' gender has been trans-ed, do you have any recs?? i know some people don't like to recommend fics so feel free to ignore if that's your vibe!

yes, i do have recs for this! here are a few off the top of my head, in no particular order:

honey sweet by @vajazzly

explicit - ft. city boy sirus who is down bad for the beekeeper with horrible fashion sense (but he’s good with this hands)

gathering home by @quietlemonhush

explicit - sirius raising regulus & harry after literally burning down his family home, remus is reg’s teacher. heavy themes but overall very funny & sweet & tender.

suffer for the people - orphan account

remus is regulus’s camp counselor, has lil bit of a meltdown and asks for his brother who comes to visit to calm him down. feelings occur. sooo cute & comforting, very fluffy.

our destiny in the stars - orphan account

explicit - remus is insecure about his (plus size, disabled) body and decides to try online dating where matches can’t see what the other person looks like. he meets sirius (trans, a teacher) and they uh - hit it off. this fic makes me smile so damn big. it’s just - it’s a classic, i’ve read it a million times.

whatever words i say - orphan account

sirius can’t stop acting out and it’s stressing out the rest of his band, so lily hires remus to keep an eye on him. obviously, they fall in love. a sweet lil band au.

a fool and his money - orphan account

explicit - chronically ill remus is roommates with regulus, meets his rich older brother and agrees to an arrangement: pretend to date sirius, show up with him to events - in exchange for money. y’all can guess where this is going and it’s so good. love a good sugar daddy/fake dating fic.

abyss by @titstraction

explicit - highschool au, remus & sirius are both on the track team and can’t seem to the same page. this fic is - so good. it’s very much a comfort read for me, but there are some heavy themes and transphobic jokes. this fic will hurt your feelings but it will also make you giggle and kick your feet and scream into your pillow.

have time to grow by queer_and_trashy

explicit - queer professor & amateur poet remus meets trans professional poet sirius - they try to get their shit together. hot & sweet and just, deeply deeply gay.

the entire rock n’ pole verse by @jennandblitz and fivepips

explicit - ace rock climber remus meets genderfluid dancer (mainly pole) sirius. this ‘verse is huge, there’s literally millions of words of it and y’all - i’ve read all of it. incredible ace representation, and overall just very sweet and sappy. mild angst, but everyone is in love & has a happy ending so don’t worry!

living like we’re renegades - orphan account

explicit - cheerleader sirius + journalist remus = everything i’ve ever wanted. i loooove this sirius so much they’re so gender.

the prettiest star ‘verse by raging_queer

tattoo artist sirius meets single dad remus - actually, sirius meets his child, teddy. sweet bonding with teddy looking up to Elder Queer sirius. very fluffy and comforting.

staying strangers by 3amandcounting

the texting fic, my fave of all-time. genderfluid sirius & demisexual remus. if there is one fic out there that will just make you want to open a window and yell about it to the other townsfolk - it’s this one. idek how to explain it, it’s just - it’s perfect.

also most of my fic features trans sirius, my masterlist is pinned!

disclaimer: this list is non-exhaustive, i know i’ve forgotten some, and i will be updating this tomorrow when i’m not half-asleep. and y’all, please reply with your fave trans sirius fics bc i want to read them all!!

[bkgbkgbkg]

Omg!!! I live ur writing so much! The way you write eren is like literally perfect!! I was wondering if I could request reader walking home or at a party or just like out somewhere and they notice some people making her uncomfy and they cal eren to pick them up? Some fluff and comfort are my coping mechanism 😭

LMAO STOP THE COPING MECHANISM IS SO REAL💀💀 and ofc bb thankyou so much for the request i love you😋🥰

Im just gonna work off the whole saviour dynamic w eren and hopefully u dont mind

——————

More requests/masterlist

You don’t know why you’re here, you really should’ve just stayed home if only Mikasa hadn’t dragged you out.

“Cmonnnn it’ll be fun, I promise! Even Sasha’s coming!”

You really shouldn’t have listened to her, right now she’s - God knows where - with Sasha playing some obscure drinking game while you’re here sitting on the leather couch already intoxicated yourself.

You felt gross. Sticky even from the sweaty, crowded living room, humidity suffocating you. There was about 5 people on this couch made to fit only 2, you sat there staring down at your stupid sore feet in your stupid stupid heels with stupid strangers grazing your bare legs next to you.

The noise of the room tuned out as your tipsy brain was half conscious until you were snapped back into reality feeling a creeping hand on your shoulder.

Whoever was next to you was apparently speaking for long enough that you don’t know what they’re on about, “— or we could go back to my apartment..”

Your head snaps back up and you anxiously shrug off this guys tacky hand, sobering up just a little bit. Enough to start comprehending things.

“Sorry, I have to go” you say while peeling yourself off the leather, you don’t know where you have to go you just knew to leave because clearly you weren’t functioning well alone.

You turn and almost begin walking away until you almost trip on your stupid heels, this guys hand had gripped your arm rather too harshly to pull you right back onto the couch.

“Hey we were in the middle of something” he slurs, clearly a little more intoxicated than you.

You’re still so lost, why the fuck is he still talking? Why is this room is so hot? This couch is too sticky. His breath smells like shit. Your feet hurt like shit. You’re so tired all you want to do is leave at this point. All of your senses have been overwhelmed you can’t take it.

He continues to ramble nonsense again so you settle to tune it out again, unsure if your feet have the strength to even walk away and give resistance against this random ass guy if he tries anything worse.

You pull out your phone from your unpractically tiny bag and open your messages.

23:16 — Eren

Erenb

Yes this is erenb

Can gou pixk me up

How drunk are you💀

Honestly nor that nuch this tine

Thid guys bortherijf me hurry up ples😋

This guy??

What’s going on?

Donr asknme idek myslef💀💀 hes jusr weirdinf me out

Im coming dw mika sent me the address earlier

Otw

He didn’t lie when he said he’d be quick, honestly Eren was waiting for you to return from the party. He got too bored sitting in your apartment alone watching tv.

You get a call and immediately shoot up knowing Erens arrived. You’re still too drunk to process whatever this guy was doing.

You think he’s following behind you? Who knows? You get out the front door with a cool breeze hitting you. It’s much quieter out here which would be nice if this guy wasn’t still trying to pursue you even after a good ten minutes of radio silence from you.

You feel your body sigh with relief as you spot Eren’s car, you make eye contact with him through the front window smiling. You can slightly see how he grins at your drunken walk in your painful heels until your vision spins to face the guy.

His hand was now on your shoulder and before you knew it Eren was getting out of his car. Whoever this man was he was clearly upset?? Clearly drunk and clearly mad at you. He’s rambling and you still don’t want to listen, hes saying something about you not mentioning you had a boyfriend or anything along those lines?

All you knew is that he was mad, you could feel it in his inebriated grip on your shoulder. Then you start to feel the alcohol coming back up you’re system as his other hand creeps to hold your waist. “Cmon ditch your boyfriend”

Before you can get a word of disgust out you feel familiar arms save you from this repulsive guys hold. Eren shoves his chest as he drunkenly stumbles backwards.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eren spits out as his arm ushers you to stand a little behind him. He isn’t really one for violence when it’s a complete stranger. He has better things to do than that.

He can tell he’s drunk and after a few nonsensical sentences pour out the guys mouth; Eren’s done eyeing him down with demise so he walks you back to his car while the guy drags himself back to the party.

“Are you alright?” He questions you while rubbing his hand against your arms to warm you up as much as he can walking down the party’s front yard.

“Yeah I’m alright now at least, thank you Eren”

“That guy looked fucking homeless”

You softly smile to yourself, at ease in Eren’s presence. Half the grossness you felt in that stupid party had already began dissolving.

The drive home was quiet, calm. You were dozing off in the passenger seat while you held his free hand in you lap. His thumb swept back and forth until you arrived home. He reaches behind into the back seat, you’re too hazy to question why really. Eren bends over to take off your heels to then slide ur home slippers on.

“I don’t know why you wore those tonight, you know they hurt”

“I know right?!” You huff back at him. He laughs softly at your drunken state and gets out the car. He opens your car door to usher you out and puts his arm around you to help you walk to your apartment.

He lies you down on the couch and tells u to stay which you have no real trouble doing. He returns to the room holding one of his navy blue t-shirts and grey shorts.

“Okay baby, take off ur dress” he says gently.

“At least ask me to dinner first” you retort back. You snicker at your own joke but take off your dress all the same. He slips his shirt and shorts onto you then carries you to your bed effortlessly.

“You’re soo strong, do you have a girlfriend?” you giggle while feeling up his muscular arms. He only laughs at you and quickly leaves to grab something. He returns again, your micellar water in one hand and your toner in the other, “hey which one is the makeup thingy to take it off?” He questions, trying to communicate with whatever sober is left in you. You point to the micellar bottle and he wipes your face with it. The cool water and Eren’s delicate touch was extremely soothing. Although making you even more tired it did sober you up a little more.

Once he’s done, he puts everything down and climbs in bed next to you, pulling the blanket up, he moves you so that you’re on your side and pulls your knee toward him so that your leg is over his legs. He moves his arm to lie under your neck and pulls your whole body nearer with his free hand now on the small of your back.

You inhale deeply the scent of his chest and neck, now intoxicated by his musky scent while his hand slides up to bring your head nearer while he breathes deeply too, face shoved in the top of your head.

He moves to place a chaste kiss on your forehead.“You okay?” He asks, voice just above a whisper.

“Now I am, that guy was weird”, you murmur back still with a face full of chest.

“Yeah he was a fucking weirdo” Eren says, now speaking at a normal volume. “You’re not going alone to those parties anymore, I’m having a word with Mikasa trust”

You laugh at his seriousness and press a kiss to his collar bone, “No laughing I’m serious” he smiles, making space between you too to be able to kiss your collar bone too. He litters playful kisses on your neck. You laugh more while he roughly moves on top of you to only press more ticklish pecks all over you; intentionally smothering you.

You stop him by grabbing both sides of his head and bringing his lips to yours. You kiss him softly while he willingly returns it. He deepens the kiss with his tongue swiping your bottom lip until you open your mouth in the slightest, letting him slip it inside.

[constellama]

For how little I talk about Orange I actually think about him a lot, which means I have so many fun concepts for him, so I present to you,

Headcanons/Theories/Concepts about Orange that don’t all make sense but are fun to think about anyway (aka, me rambling about Orange):

(also short disclaimer please don’t take this too seriously I am not any sort of expert in media analysis or anything this is just for silliness)

- I’m mainly going into this with the theory that Orange is some kind of form of externalization, whether that be wrath or just forbidden emotions in general. Honestly my opinion of what he represents is still kinda nebulous but like. Please don’t leave I promise I have good ideas.

- From what we saw with Logan, I think Orange’s abilities might be some form of enhancing the others’ emotions— forcibly externalizing them in some way. There’s so much tension between the other sides, what with Logan wanting to be listened to, Patton never sharing how he feels, Roman still clinging on to Thomas’s selflessness, and idek how this is all affecting Virgil. Not to mention Nico is in the mix. Orange is gonna somehow force the others to actually talk about their feelings. Basically, Janus can force the others to shut up, so what if Orange can do the opposite? (trust me this can only go well and nothing bad will happen)

- We already know Thomas’s perception of the dark sides tends to be what he thinks is “bad” or the opposite of good, like Janus being portrayed as a snake because of snakes’ reputation in Catholicism. I think it would be fun if Orange also leaned into the religious imagery. What I’m saying is that I think Orange should have goat motifs. Please. Goats are animals also associated with the devil and sin and if Thomas believes that whatever Orange represents is “evil” in the same way he initially thought Janus and Remus were evil, then it makes sense he may subconsciously see him that way. But like, this is mainly because I want orange to be a silly goat. Give that man rectangular pupils please it’s beneficial to my mental health.

- We still know next to nothing about Orange’s personality so this is where it really gets fun! I want to believe Orange is cold. Cold, calculated, a completely icy demeanor. More on his relationship with Logan here, idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t think Orange has much to do with Logan at all. I don’t think they’re as connected as we think, actually. I think the only reason we see orange manifest with Logan is just because Logan happened to be the first person he got to. If anything, Logan now knows to avoid whatever brought him on, which we see in the gift exchange episode when he shuts down Remus after he said “Kinda makes you wanna scream, huh?”

- Adding on from the last part ☝️ I think it would be really funny if Orange got to Roman next. It would be completely unpredicted and with how vulnerable Roman is, he’d be forced to come to terms with the fact that not everything is black and white. Let him have ugly emotions and put a mirror in front of him, if you will.

- ok this is so unorganized but back to Orange’s personality, I think he should be completely devoid of emotions. Analytical in every way Logan wants to be. Idk how to explain this part but his emotions are outside of him, externalization in the way his emotions are external and forced out of the others. This isn’t saying he’s possessing them, but more like he’s an empath. An empath if he was evil but not really. I sound insane but I swear it makes sense.

- also as a bonus, there’s this fun hc that I have (I promise this has to do with Orange) but we know Virgil’s name is a sensitive subject for him. We also know the dark sides like to take advantage of that. And it’s so deliberate in a way that makes me think there’s more to it. SO HEAR ME OUT. You know how Virgil’s name was taken from the Roman poet Vergilius? What if that was his actual full name. What if when he separated himself from the dark sides, he cut off the “ius” because he felt it associated him with them. He told the others they can call him “Virge” as a nickname so they had no reason to assume Virgil was already a nickname. Now imagine that when we meet Orange, because he needs to sides to externalize everything, he refers to Virgil as Vergilius. Yippee more tension for everyone!! Another thing the sides have to discuss as a way to fully come to terms with the fact that they have to communicate and let Thomas breathe!!!

If you made it to the end of this post!!! What !!!! Ty for reading my silly rambles, reminder that none of this is serious, this is entirely for fun and also probably doesn’t entirely make sense. (I tried to make this as coherent as I could). I doubt that any of this is going to end up canon, but the concepts are fun to think about !!

[magicxc]

Stork Visits

Pairings: Survey Coprs x Black Reader - do they want babies?

Word Count: 1137

Warnings: baby fever?

A/N: Here’s what I think in regard to the guys wanting babies. But tell me what you think! Is there someone who you feel would react differently than I imagined?

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - oh absolutely. I think he’d love to see a miniature him running around causing mayhem. He’s the obsessed dad, telling everyone you meet that you’re pregnant and watching literally everything you eat to make sure that it’s safe and healthy for the baby. Eren becomes a nutritionist, a midwife, and security guard all in one; and while you are grateful, he could definitely use a chill pill. 

Levi - I wanna say no, but he can be convinced. More of a soft no, or Levi’s idea of a soft no. He doesn’t really develop relationships or connections with others because of everyone around him dying and for that reason he’s really against the idea of raising a child. But once he finds someone special, I think he’ll view it with a different set of lens and even come to anticipate the idea of another Ackerman.

Erwin - very neutral. He isn’t actively for a child or against it. More of a if it happens, it happens kinda fella. Understand that work WILL be a priority and will often take precedence. Erwin is absolutely taking care of his family but it’ll be more in a financial sense. Although he is emotionally available as well it’s his physical presence yall will have to tussle with. However, he is making sure at the very least yall wont need for much. I'm talking a house in the best neighborhood, the best schools, the best clothes, etc. And he absolutely loves his family but when that job calls, it's toodles. 

Connie - also neutral to the idea. Connie doesn’t really take life seriously to me. I consider him to be in his playboy era lowkey. He doesn’t really live for the future, but more so the present so if you get pregnant he’ll be supportive of whatever choice you make. And if it does happen, he’s that overwhelming dad who’s plastering his child on all the socials. They’ll be in matching outfits, taking professional pictures for every milestone, and he’s stacking those presents high under the Christmas tree for the holidays. That child will have him wrapped around their finger so it's safe to say that you’ll have to be the bad cop for a good chunk of their childhood cause Connie is mostly concerned with being the cool and fun parent. 

Jean - yes!! He’s that military man that enlists straight out of high school, meets a girl, marries her two months later, and starts a family of five. Maybe even get a pet for the sake of it. Jean strikes me as very traditional in the family sense. His children will be honor students and he’s plastering his bumper sticker with all their future colleges. Their report cards get put on the fridge and while Jean does start off his parenting a little strict in the disciplinary department, he eventually learns to take it easy. 

Onyankopon - yes, but when the time is right. He wants to try and solve all the worlds problems before settling down to start a family. Soon enough he’ll realise that as much as he wants to he cant help everyone so he goes on to focus his energy on creating a life with his lover. Ony’s so adorable. Literally there at your beck and call. He’s taking you to all your doctors appointments, sitting through all your lamaze classes and designing the baby's room from scratch. Ony is the hands on father who’s spending weeks tryna figure out how to assemble the crib and he’s signing the kid up for every extracurricular activity possible as soon as they can walk - ooh and he’s never missing a practice. 

Reiner - idek with this man. I genuinely feel like the pendulum can swing either way, though I am leaning more towards no. I think Reiner carries way too much guilt to ever feel deserving of children and so he’s content to just have a wife while playing the role of cool, rich uncle. Mans is honestly just happy to be alive, and barely even that, so he’s not too interested in starting a family. He’ll babysit in a heartbeat and is sneakily feeding his nieces/nephews/godchildren ice cream for breakfast after their parents explicitly said no. He’s the one they call when they need a ride home from a party they weren't even supposed to go to and he’s providing an alibi if need be. Reiner is sliding $20 in their hands at every function and bringing them gifts from his latest excursion around the globe. While he greatly enjoys his time spent with the kiddos he loves handing them back to their parents even more; and greatly enjoys having his lover all to himself while doing things he never dreamed he’d reach the age to see and simultaneously healing the child within. 

Armin - yes!! I think Armin is gonna be the poster dad for kids lowkey. You ever meet those parents who run their household like the navy? Like in a scheduled sorta way? That’s gonna be Armin. Kids are in bed no later than 8pm. Their breakfast, lunch, and dinner will be balanced to each portion of essential nutrients based on the food groups of the plate. They're drinking 8 glasses of water a day and flavored milk yuck during snack time. Their juices are diluted with water so when they hit their first party and experience 100% juice for the first time they’re literally bouncing off the walls. I really feel like Armin would have that perfect cookie cutter type family who celebrates and decorates for every holiday. They brush their teeth before bed every night and must bathe with their special bubble bath soap or else they’ll lose their shit. He’ll raise kids you avoid in primary school lmaoo but get cool with during high school who eventually becomes a more chill version of their younger self. 

Floch - not really. He wants to run wild and sow his oats. Floch doesn't care for kids in my opinion. He’s in his selfish era which turns out to last a lot longer than he anticipated. Floch is an intelligent guy and while he enjoys practicing for a baby, he’s come to realise that he wouldn’t enjoy the responsibilities of said baby. He’s not actively in his nieces/nephews/godchildren everyday lives but instead is that uncle you only see at the family functions which is like twice a year. Once he’s there though they can ask for anything and he’s giving it to them. Money, a lil sip of beer, hell even some dating tips. He doesn't go out of his way to be present so it's really one of those you just gotta be there moments. Floch has always been on his own timing and enjoys living his best child free life. 

[hanakou-often]

I just happened to stumble upon your blog.. and I never really thought about HanaKou before, but these posts are very compelling. I love seeing other people’s ships in things and would love to be convinced into them.. heh. I’ve sort of fallen out of tbhk recently because the most recent arc hasn’t been compelling to me PARTLY BECAYSE KOU AND NENE AND HANAKO DONT KNOW EACH OTHWR?!?!? Which is really depressing, because I like them a lot. Ermm idk where I’m going with this I just was scrolling through the blog like “heh.. they’re cute I want to know more..” and now here I am. Please excuse my nonsense blabber idek if this makes sense 😔

Oh boy. Despite Hanakou being my hyperfixation for around 3 years, I still don't feel equipped to salesman my way into convincing someone 😭 most of my love for them has just come from PURE brainrot so I'll try my best to actually formulate more logical reasons why I like this sinking ship as much as I do. Long ass spoiler-filled rant incoming!!

1. Narrative Foils

A narrative foil is a character that contrasts another character, often the protagonist, to highlight certain aspects of their characters. Think Kabru and Laios from Dungeon Meshi, Sayaka and Kyoko from Madoka Magica, Draco and Harry from Harry Potter, etc.

To begin, Kou is a 'weak,' naive exorcist who always fights for justice and to protect the people he loves out of his own volition. Since he is the underdog of his family clan, the mediocre middle child next to his eldest exorcist extraordinaire brother, Kou is willing to do anything to prove his worth. This is primarily exhibited by his first meeting with Hanako as he recklessly plunges into a battle with the most powerful ghost in Kagome despite his inexperience with his weapon. When he's confronted about such, Kou states, "I don't care what happens to me as long as I can protect everyone!" and if that doesn't sum up his ideology, I don't know what does. He is shown to be the type of person to put everyone's safety, happiness and livelihood above his own, ultimately leading his selflessness to be his own detriment.

Contrarily, Hanako is a strong, knowledgable apparition who is given the role to protect students of Kamome, regardless of his detachment from the student body, as a way of atonement. As the long standing executive leader of the seven mysteries, Hanako has grown largely apathetic towards everyone, easily taking the cold, calculated and unconventional routes to reach the outcome he deems best no matter who it would hurt in the process. This is exemplified many times in the manga but to pick a lighter one: The time Hanako confessed to Nene under the kodama tree without telling her before hand that it wasn't real, leading him to hurt her feelings. It's clear that Hanako is the type of person to value his own goals and interests above everyone else's input, making him the more selfish antithesis to Kou's "selflessness."

Their differences in philosophy are really striking at times. Kou is endlessly optimistic while Hanako is more pessimistic, seeing the grimmer aspects of reality that Kou usually neglects. For example, Nene's lifespan has been a divisive topic between them for a while. Hanako had known about it from the start, originally intending to keep the poor girl in ignorant bliss for how much time she had left. At the point of the reveal in the clock keeper arc, he had no plans on trying to change her fate, solemnly stating that "there are things in this world that must not be changed...It's better for Yashiro this way." This is a direct contrast to Kou's more 'human' perspective as he immediately protests Hanako's claim of "There is nothing you can do," passionately asserting that he won't give up, he'll do whatever it takes save her and that is final. In the face of a dark reality, Kou completely rejects it, choosing to believe there's hope, like the naive son of a gun Hanako knows he is. From personal experience, Hanako knows it's stupid, it's idiotic, it's downright suicidal to go up against fate but somehow he ends up hoping Kou is right, trailing "I'm counting on you" as they settle back into a world that will never be the same after this revelation between them. (Something something Their differences are key to propelling the plot forward since Kou is the one to inspire Hanako not to just let Nene's life go by!!)

All of this is not to say they don't have anything in common. In fact, they are united by their desire to save the people they care about, grounded in their ruthless determination to see out their goals and are self sacrificing to an extent. I would love to go deeper on this topic but I'm afraid my brain is already starting to fry lol. In short, their differences are what make them interesting as a duo!! Each of their qualities can compliment the other's contrasting attributes and as people say, opposites attract!!!

2. Pivotal Roles in each other's Narrative

Hanakou are very important to each other's story since they are a key player in both their humble beginnings and tragic ends. Respectively, they are each other's gateway to a new life. Much like Nene, Kou is a symbol of hope for Hanako, his spunky attitude and determined nature igniting a humanitarian spark that Hanako lacked in the sixty years he lingered Kamome. For Kou, Hanako is the first apparition he meets, the one that sets off his rocky journey with navigating the world of supernaturals as a lackluster exorcist, and the second person to fuel his fire by believing in him. Specifically, Hanako tells Kou he looks forward to the day he can expel him with ease, a statement that foreshadows their distant future. In order to complete their whole character arcs (Hanako going from stubbornly clinging to the near shore to repent to accepting he's done every to atone and ready to pass on; Kou starting off weak and naive then ending as a stronger exorcist capable of understanding both the supernatural world and humanity) they'll have to do exactly what Hanako anticipated: Exorcise him once and for all. This aspect of their relationship is something intricately intertwined with their fates and while AidaIro may have forgotten about it, I can only hope they'll deliver so that they can bring their narratives full circle.

Now in the context of a romantic relationship, there are some absolutely soul crushing implications here. The hands Hanako loves to admire, intertwine his fingers with and adore are the same ones that will ultimately be his demise. Kou is Hanako's deathbed. That’s what they’ve known all along. It’s something that looms over their heads with a lingering heaviness neither boy wants address: Kou wanting to silently avoid his crushing responsibility while Hanako is just trying to savor whatever time he has with Kou. It's doomed just like everything else in TBHK <3

3. Young Exorcist arc

This one goes hand and hand with the second point but I felt that this needed to be discussed on its own since it's where many Hanakouers (ME) really took interest in their relationship. The arc begins with Kou being pulled aside by Teru, the two having a conversation about how Kou was supposed to immediately exorcise any seven mysteries he encounters. When Kou fumbles around him, insisting that he can't find it in himself to see Hanako as a bad supernatural, Teru is quick to remind him that "There is no such thing as a 'good supernatural'" and promptly takes him off the case. He was going to take matters into his own hands but the moment Kou looks at him with pleading eyes, Teru decides to give him more time to carry the duty out.

This is where Kou sets off to find Hanako, get some irrefutable proof that he's not evil like the generalization Teru makes. The effort he puts here into defending Hanako is absolutely adorable, if not a testament to their potential then a testament to Kou's sweet character. The suspicion he's built as he spies on Hanako who saunters around with a sack of stolen items is broken once the ghost explains that he's gathering them to return to their rightful owners. As stated previously, Hanako’s noble deeds are done more as a way to atone rather than out of his own good will so to see that he went out of his way to return stolen items to students, one of which being Kou’s safety earring, without being obligated to do so is great evidence to support Kou's idea that supernaturals can be good. Given this, Kou decides right then and there that he won’t exorcise Hanako after all. Now, Hanako here could have reveled in this decision, his kind act successfully manipulating Kou into compliance with his schemes, but instead, Hanako shows him exactly why he shouldn’t give up.

He cares for the kid. He does. Which is why he has to show how wrong he can be. It’s a downright dangerous thought because it lures Kou into a false sense of security that all supernaturals can be “good” like Hanako.

Cue Teru's dramatic entrance where he immediately apprehends the offending apparition and tries to execute him (for good reason). Blah blah blah Teru is condescending towards Kou because he made the wrong call again, something something Kou is trapped in Teru's bead bracelet and question his view of Hanako once more. For a moment, Kou almost gives into despair, letting Teru exorcise him without another word. After all, what does Kou know about the supernatural world? He's a weak link to Teru's infinite knowledge, power and experience. Maybe he should just let him do what he deems best.

However, as Hanako objects to his sentencing, screaming that “death would only be a release” and he still has so much to do here, it reminds Kou that Hanako is here for a reason. Sure, he’s an apparition, something that’s synonymous with evil, but all that time they spent together has to mean something, right? Hanako indulges Nene and Kou, joking around, Hanako has indulged Kou when no one else believed in him, he's saved them when he easily could’ve left them to their own devices. That definitely means something. Suddenly, Kou breaks free from the beaded prison, charges in the middle of the battle field and grips Teru's blade with an iron fist, all to save Hanako.

Just look at that. Kou slit his own palm trying to protect Hanako, someone he vowed to erase just weeks ago, because he's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He defies his brother, someone he highly admired for the past fourteen years of his life, for Hanako’s sake. Kou’s change in attitude towards his exorcist duties is largely attributed to Hanako. The sole notion of Hanako, the not so evil supernatural, has turned Kou’s world completely upside down.

I'll never forgive the anime for omitting this arc, not only because it excludes a pivotal moment in their relationship but also because it deprived an enriching detail to their development!!! Oh my god. Kou finally stands up for himself and owns up to his naivety. He knows he’s stupid for jumping from one extreme conclusion to the other before he has fully understood everything Hanako has to offer but he can no longer side with Teru’s one note view of him or supernaturals in general, lest more decent apparitions be erased without cause. He brings a level of nuance to the function that Teru does not appreciate!! When Kou decides to vouch for Hanako, undertaking the massive responsibility to watch over him all on his own, it shows a lot of growth in his maturity and his perspective of the ghost.

So yeah. A lot to say about the young exorcist arc. Not only has it deeply impacted the Minamoto brothers relationship, but it has brought a significant change within Kou’s mindset. He’s no longer trying to label Hanako as a definitive good or bad but trying to deepen his understanding of him and decide what to do from there. As for Hanako, he seems to respect Kou more now, giving credit where credit is due, and feels as though their bond is strengthened by the vulnerable state they saw each other in. He even acknowledges this in the first chapter of ASHK when Teru comes in to “help clean" by immediately taking cover behind Kou and questioning the commitment he made to keep Teru at bay. It's also weirdly sweet to see Hanako taking cover behind Kou here!! It really goes to show how much trust they've built for each other and how safe Hanako feels around the exorcist C:

To sum it all up, the young exorcist arc was an important part of showing how Hanakou work together and cement how their views of humanity/supernatural world are shifting because of each other!! I didn't get to talk about it too much but they also have a bunch of cute moments here which sorta feeds to the next point.

4. Classic Bromance to Romance

A bromance is defined as a quote en quote "close, friendly but non-sexual relationship between two men" and that's more or less what Hanakou brings to the table!!! First and foremost, they are complete opposites in a lot of their personality traits which makes it fun to see how they interact. Hanako's pervyness to Kou's disciplined innocence, Hanako's mischief to Kou's gullibility, Hanako's love of teasing to Kou's fiery denials, it's all just so entertaining to watch!!! They bounce off each other sorta like a coke and mentos relationship where on their own, they're absolutely fine but when they're together BOOM explosions, dumb arguments, rough housing 24/7, etc, etc. Just take a look at the shenanigans they get up to in this panel.

How? Just how did they get here? They used to be enemies, they're still supposed to be enemies but here they are, a hopeful descendent of a powerful exorcist clan and an executive leader of a important supernatural group, just play fighting with a mop and broom like they're no better than two clumsy best friends goofing off on their free time. I love their little bromance so much because it's the result of their growth during the many adventures they've had together. URUGHH After they've been through, it's deeply endearing to realize that they really are just boys being boys at their core!! C:

Now moving onto the romance part, I want to preface this with how I do believe men should be allowed to have intimate platonic relationships with each other without having to get accused of being gay but alas, I fear Hanakou's closeness as friends can easily pave the way for something more as they blur the line between friendly and flirty banter.

It's already been established that Hanako feels safe enough to be his usual self around the exorcist, knowing that no matter how mischievous, touchy and downright despicable Hanako can be, Kou won't ever hurt him. It's a sweet sort of trust that can be explored further with some typical bromance shenanigans, IE Hanako gets bored and decides to test Kou's boundaries just for the hell of it. At first, it's only joke flirting and some harmless teasing here and there. Maybe a lingering touch or two (only to push some buttons of course). Most of the time, Hanako finds this endeavor to be deeply rewarding since Kou reacts in a way that Nene doesn’t, his responses leaning into his more physical, boyish volatility as he either bashfully pushes Hanako away, chases him off or just straight up punches him in the arm, visibly flustered. The reactiveness encourages Hanako to keep upping the ante to the point where it's more unusual for him not to mess with Kou. It's grown into a bad habit of his: snaking his arms around Kou's shoulders, fiddling with his fingers with reverent fascination, sneaking glances at the boy and making funny faces in the hopes he'll look back and laugh, etc, etc. As Kou gets used to Hanako's antics overtime, his extreme reactions gradually diminish and it's becoming increasingly clearer that Hanako isn't (wasn't?) just doing it because "he's bored" anymore. No, it's something worse. With a sinking clarity, Hanako realizes boredom isn't the driving reason for being around Kou anymore, it's fondness of the cute (flustered) expressions he makes, it's the giddiness that swells in his chest when Hanako manages to make him smile, the electricity that floods his system when Kou flirts back, it's...something else he does not want to dissect. And so, Hanako will bury this revelation under the belief it's due to his unfamiliarity of friendship. Fifty years of isolation has to do a number to your perception of romance vs friendship, right???

Meanwhile, Kou is committed to the promise he made in the young exorcist arc so he's usually admiring from afar watching over Hanako to make sure he's in line and keeping an eye on Hanako isn't hard as of late; they're spending more time together before, during and after school and as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he genuinely enjoys the company. Kou likes what they have, it's good that they can rely on each other and still leave room to joke around but to be honest, Kou has some...weird feelings towards Hanako. Every time their eyes meet his heart skips a beat, whenever he lets his mind wander it usually finds its way back to Hanako, their friendly banter stuck in his head, and for whatever reason, Kou's body can't seem to forget the ghost's touch, even long after he's fucked off to who knows where. There's something different about it. It's not the detestation he had when he first met Hanako, nor is it the quaint glee he had when he decided to not exorcise him. It's something completely new, something foreign that has his stomach doing flips every time he sees Hanako's bright smile or hears his stupid laugh. Kou tries not to think about it too much, lest he gives Hanako exactly what he wants, so he just chalks it up to his view of supernaturals being challenged. After all, going from believing all supernaturals are dangerous, evil vermin that need to be exterminated to voluntarily hanging out with such a friendly one is bound to stir up some mixed feelings, right?

Do you see my vision now? The bromance to romance pipeline would be unreal with these two confused idiots!! There's so much room for the internalized homophobia, the confusion of trying to differentiate friendly feelings from the clusterfuck of emotions the other boy evokes and the funny fumblings of two teenage boys letting the joke flirting go a bit too far like a game of gay chicken gone wrong. Their relationship speaks to me in a way that can only be described as the entertainment you get from mixing two reactive substances and waiting for the inevitable chaos that proceeds. Even if you don't ship Hanakou romantically, you gotta admit their dynamic is super fun to explore!! C:

5. Other characters reactions

I swear I’m taking this somewhat seriously but I really enjoy the more wholesome aspects of this ship!! Nene being the third wheel to her two guy best friends, the LEAST romantic people she knows, is something that is deeply entertaining to me <3 She came into Hanako's life wishing for a boyfriend, failed to get one and then had to watch him get one himself. She would be so happy for them but at the same time, she'd be fighting demons trying to figure out how these two IDIOTS got more rizz than she does. (How much aura do you lose for this LMAOOOO)

Then you got Teru which if you liked this aspect of Mitsukou where Teru disapproves of his brother dating a school mystery then hooo boy YOU’LL LOVE HANAKOU!! Whatever apprehension he has towards Mitsukou it's increased tenfold because it’s one thing to date a school mystery, it’s a whole other thing to date not only the ghost of a murder but the LEADER of the seven mysteries??? Teru would absolutely flip his shit, wasting no time to charge into Hanako’s bathroom and expel him right then and there the SECOND he finds out (AND I DON'T BLAME HIM!! he just doing his job fr). I’ve been told it’s sorta like a Romeo and Juliet situation where two star crossed lovers are kept apart by a long-standing feud between their opposing houses (Montagues and Capulets WHO? I only know the Minamoto clan and Seven Mysteries) and I think that can just about sum it up!!

6. Hanako-San (ASHK)

This post is already as long as it is so I’ll save you the trouble of attempting an analysis and copy and paste my ramble from another post: “In regards to HanaKou discourse, I've always seen people say 'Kou's into Mitsuba!!' or 'they're just platonic besties! Plus Kou rejected Hanako!!!' and sure, maybe Kou doesn't have a thing for Hanako but has anyone REALLY stopped to consider Hanako has a thing for Kou??? And just. Didn't process it because of internalized homophobia AND his crush on Nene overshadowing his feelings for Kou??? Because THIS chapter had NO RIGHT to be so fruity on Hanako's part” and yeah why is the first thing Hanako decides to do when he turns into a girl is flirt with Kou??? And an even better question is why did he genuinely sulk when Kou rejected him??? If you didn't mean it why were you so butt hurt then huh??? Hanako really is the type of guy to passively think "if Kou was a girl or if I was a girl, I'd date him 100%" and it definitely shows!!!

7. Fanfiction. So. Much. Fanfiction.

This one doesn't have much to do with canon but it's more than likely why some people (ME) began to ship Hanakou!! My personal experience was I thought they were sorta interesting and I checked on ao3 to see if there were any others who thought the same. To my surprise, there were a bunch of fics lovingly written for them already and out of curiosity I started reading one. One became two, two became three, then suddenly I was tumbling down the rabbit hole feverishly consuming whatever I could get my grubby little hands on. As you've stated, seeing others' passion can be pretty compelling reason to start shipping something and I totally agree!!! Exploring the dynamics in such a freeing medium like Fanfiction can be much more invigorating than just reinterpreting canon so do give it a try if you're interested!! I promise Hanakou nation is a welcoming space and we'd be delighted to see more people on board with these two idiots C:

END

AUGHHHH I struggled to find the right words to express my thoughts but I hope it gave you a better understanding of Hanakou!! These two really are my Roman Empire and despite how much I floundered around this post, I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to share my visions!!! Thank you so much for asking C:

[corvidares]

suzanne collins fascinates me as a person. i wanna study her like. did she approve how this movie came out? or the previous ones? does she think its funny? or just sees it as bringing more readers to her books???? as a novelist, if my story got misconstrued by the masses so hard i would. idek what i'd do but maybe she saw it coming when she made the movie deal. idk!!!! i liked the movies as a kid (had an excuse not to be media literate. was a kid. read the books the first time as like a 12 year old LOL) but now im just…… the actor did katniss so dirty shes angry and petty and unlikable and sharp and. shes just SO MUCH MORE of an interesting person in the books

very flawed. arguably collins tries to make her unlikable. VERY different from your typical YA female protagonist™️ SPEAKING OF WHICH. its very weird to me that suzanne wrote it as a YA book. its honestly pretty adult. in the sense of the big themes its tackling. but, of course, i dislike when people imply that books for younger folks cant do that successfully. i always point to animorphs as a fantastic example. i honestly wonder if her publishing agency pushed that angle cuz like yeah katniss is 17. but still

if you have any interest at all in dystopia and HAVENT read the hunger games please give it a shot. even if you didnt like the movies (or did. or didnt see them. whatever) theres a reason it kicked off the popularity of dystopia in pop culture. almost nothing made in the few years after is nearly as good

[k4marina]

guesss who’s back to rantttttt 🙈

adding into this, i feel that simon wearing his mask (with the diy skull and the printed one) would do the complete opposite of being a ghost like literally. technically, simon riley is dead. he died in a fire with his family and the last thing he needs or wants is attention.

i mean can u imagine the rumors going around?

“that bloke who wears that skull mask? he’s bare weird man” (idek if that proper slang, pls don’t kill me).

i also feel like it would also bring unwanted people from his work to his home (or the little hole he lives in. i mean let’s be honest, it’s pretty fkn bare). there aren’t many people who are british, have a gravely voice, AND wear a skull mask. i mean that’s an easy target right there.

i don’t think that simon would introduce himself in a civilian setting as “ghost”. if a guy came up to me and said “call me ghost” i’d fkn laugh in his face and call him a bozo.

why would he introduce himself with his callsign if he isn’t in the “work” environment???? again that’s just unwanted attention.

i 100% believe that simon and the rest of the 141 are the types to have a work life and a civilian life. he wouldn’t want to bring any of the shit he has to go through at work back to his hole home.

as much as he hates being alone back in manchester, he still needs it. he needs a break from all of the war he has to go through.

ghost and simon are two different entities with two different lives and just because simon riley is dead on paper doesn’t mean he’s actually gone.

simon knows that if he brings ghost back home he’s only hurting himself and falling into a bottomless pit.

that’s why he wouldn’t wear the mask in public or anytime he’s on leave (unless it’s his home and there has to be a very specific reason why), and that’s why he wouldn’t walk around telling people his callsign.

unless the fic is taking place on base with a soldier!reader, there is no actual reason why simon would wear the mask and go by ghost.

ghost & mask = work

simon & and bare face = home or just civilian life.

there’s no reason why he would want to mix work and civilian life together.

and if people can say that he’s insecure about his face and don’t want to show it off, but i’d have to disagree. i mean did u hear him when he was talking with soap?

bro was 100% smiling like a cocky little shit when he said “quiet the opposite”. this mfer knows that he’s hot and enjoys it. in my delulu mind, i think simon enjoys whatever scars are on his face because he thinks they make him more hotter (i also don’t think he has that many scars on his face bc i think it’s one of the hardest places to attack idk).

that’s still not to say that he won’t get the usual waves of depression and the usual stares from people for his beauty and scars, but he’d still take it over the weird looks when he gets when he wears the mask.

technically speaking, no matter how attractive, it’s harder to remember someone with a pretty face and accurately described it than remember a mask and describe it, which i think simon understands completely.

someone also brought up the cut scene before the “no russian” one of where simons and the 141 are in the bar and he’s wearing the mask.

i have to agree with the person who said this that people saw that and took it face value that he wears the mask outside. not everything is lore, or is it 100% cannon. sometimes some things are for shits and giggles.

if you’ve read it this far i just wanna let y’all’s know i’m not trying to be mean. i’m just ranting. i’m all for creative freedom and wanting ppl to write whatever they want, i just want it to make sense yk? and if i came off bitch my bad bro.

anyways imma go sleep or smt. caio ;)

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

•·.· anywhere i want, just not home ·.·•

Pairing: Gwen Stacy x fem!Reader

Type: Angst (no comfort)

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: ‘Gwen’s universe dissolves’ AU (may not make much sense but anyway), reader is dead (dissolved along with her universe), use of Y/N (sparingly), some cussing, mentions of blood, descriptions of grief(?)

A/N: hehe I think I’m starting to enjoy killing off the reader in angsty stuff 😌 hey i may not be very good at writing angst but it’s fun to write :D

I think this is set before the events of ATSV or sometime during except there’s no Miles? Idek anymore 🤷‍♀️ whatever feels right to u ig!

So I just realised I didn’t mention her dad at all 😭 just uh pretend that she’s grieving for him too

Look at how my tears ricochet

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

(my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift)

“It’ll only be for a few weeks, at the maximum.”

You were pacing in your bedroom, occasionally pausing to make sure that the girl sitting on your bed in her spider-suit still had enough ice to soothe the sting of her injuries.

“Gwen, I…” You shook your head, throwing your hands up in the air as words failed you - a result of the maelstrom of conflicting emotions whirling around in your head at the speed of light. “I don’t know what to say. Why? Why do you need to do this? You’re putting yourself in even more danger than usual!”

Gwen set the ice pack down on your bedside table, reaching her hand out silently toward you. You sighed and took it, squeezing her fingers gently as you sat across from her and felt the mattress dip slightly under you as you got comfortable.

“Trust me, sweetheart, I don’t like this any more than you do. But Miguel said that this mission’s important and he needs all the help he can get. This anomaly is one of the most dangerous ones so we’ve ever seen so far, we can’t let it run rampant. You understand what I’m saying, right?”

You bit your lip in thought, feeling small tears prick at the corners of your eyes as she leaned over to gently tug your lip away from your teeth to stop you worrying at the skin. Your mind seemed to be spinning in lopsided circles like a broken ballet dancer; like the music box Gwen used to have before she accidentally shattered it one day while sneaking back into her room as Spider-Woman.

“I’m going to be honest with you. I’m terrified. I don’t want you to…” You vaguely gestured with your hands in front of you, catching yourself before you could say the word ‘die’ as if it could somehow jinx it and make it come true. Gwen gave you a small, reassuring smile and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“I know. I know, sweets. I won’t. I’ll be fine.”

“You can’t promise that,” You mumbled under your breath, folding into her and burying your face in the junction between her neck and shoulder.

Gwen exhaled softly, rubbing your back in the most soothing way she could so that her own uncertainty couldn’t slip through the cracks of her calm façade.

“Hey, don’t think like that. Tell you what, take this. It’ll remind you of me while I’m gone, and then when I come back we’ll order in whatever junk food we want and we’ll cuddle and watch movies, okay?” She reached down into her backpack that lay sideways on the floor and took out two bracelets. Your eyes flitted toward the bracelets and you took in a surprised inhale.

“You kept them?”

“Of course I did. They’re beautiful, like everything you make for me.”

She gave you a grin as she slipped one of the bracelets over your wrist. You examined it - smooth, round crystal beads with your name spelled out in mismatched word beads of different colours.

You remembered the day you had made them, sitting on the ground in the park with your legs crossed and Gwen’s head resting comfortably in your lap as she watched you string together the beads. Giggling and talking and just enjoying each other’s company.

Now that could possibly be the last time that happened. Because despite Gwen’s well-meaning promises and reassurances, you knew. You knew she was struggling to keep herself together, and all you wanted to do was pull her close and never let her go - hell, you would gladly go beat up whoever this Miguel O’Hara was if it meant your girl could stay with you, stay out of harm’s way.

But that wasn’t possible. And she wouldn’t want it either. She didn’t ask to get bitten by a radioactive spider and become a superhero; she just had to make the most of the cards she was dealt.

“Y/N?”

You blinked, bringing yourself out of your thoughts. “Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?”

Gwen tilted her head to the side, resting her eyes on your wrist before reaching out to slip the bracelet off. You watched her curiously as she slipped the bracelet that had her own name onto your wrist, taking the bracelet with your name and nestling it right next to her multidimensional watch.

“There. Now whenever you miss me, just look at that.” She leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, clinking your bracelets together with a smile. “Goodbye, my love. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” You watched her zip up her backpack and put on her mask, leaping onto your windowsill and pushing the window open. Right before she tensed herself to leap out, she paused, turning to look at you. Her mask was on, but you could read her expression behind the fabric easily. She gave you a smile, the corners of the mask’s eyes scrunching slightly.

“This isn’t a permanent goodbye, not by a long shot. I love you. I’ll see you again, I promise. And when I do I’m going to give you the biggest bear hug you’ve ever had in your life.”

——————

She never did.

Never got the chance to fulfill that promise.

She had gotten the news right after finally capturing the anomaly they had been chasing for more than three weeks. She was lying utterly exhausted on a park bench, Pav leaning on her with his eyes closed as they both waited for Hobie to punch in the coordinates for the Spider-Society HQ.

She remembered hearing the little ping that usually accompanied a message from HQ, the way he had momentarily frozen in shock, his border going black and white. She remembered sitting up, ignoring Pav’s grumbles and asking what had happened, because Hobie’s ever-changing border pausing in a monochrome filter was never a good sign.

She remembered him visibly struggling to grasp at words that would soften the blow, finally realizing that he couldn’t, in any way, sugarcoat it.

“I don’t know ‘ow to say this, but uh… another ultra-powerful anomaly fell into the city an’ managed to glitch itself so badly in the process tha’ it caused a dimensional tear in the multiverse an’… your universe dissolved, Gwendy. ‘M so sorry... listen, if you need anyth-”

She didn’t hear anything more after that, didn’t hear or feel Pav’s sharp inhale and Hobie gently squeezing her shoulder; instead she focused her gaze on the bracelet on her wrist, trying to push back against the dark spots threatening to bleed into the corners of her vision like pesky, taunting watercolours.

Bullshit. That had to be false, right? There was no way…

——————

Gwen would’ve given anything for Hobie to have gotten it wrong.

But, in some strange way, she could sense that he was right. Something missing, like a family photo which had been accidentally ripped in half. A rose with half its petals missing.

Red roses, red blood. Blood that was on no one’s hands, really, but felt like it had dried on hers. Her fault, even though the causes were so much bigger than her.

She had been cleaning out her stuff, trying her best to organize her somehow even messier side of Hobie’s canal boat when a small bracelet, nestled under pins and papers and god knows what else, had fallen onto the ground with a soft clink.

It was a miracle it didn’t break, honestly, which would have been cruel but oddly fitting.

She knelt to pick it up, freezing the moment her gaze passed over it. She picked it up gingerly, smoothing her fingers over the beads, her lips forming the word spelled out in beads on the bracelet.

“Y/N.”

At that one word, a dam burst and brought forth months of stubborn denial, steady grief, and then slow acceptance. Gwen braced her back against the wall, silent sobs wracking her body and making her shoulders heave with the force of them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I… I should’ve been there, I might have been able to do something, or at the very least… I could’ve been there with you.”

She let her forehead drop to rest on her knees, drawing into herself. “I miss you. So, so much… nothing’s the same. Hobie’s looking out for me, but… there’s only so much he can help with. Nothing seems all that happy anymore… everyday I get up and ask myself ‘why doesn’t the sun shine as bright anymore?’ ‘Why aren’t the flowers as beautiful as they used to be?’ ‘Where did all the colour go?’ And then I remember that you’re not here with me.”

Gwen held the bracelet up to the light, letting its colours - so carefully picked out by a loving hand all those months ago - shine as tears blurred her vision and fell like crystals slipping from a shaky chandelier that should’ve broken a while ago, for its own sake.

“I want to go home,” She confessed to the bracelet quietly; the empathetic ear of someone she wished - no, hoped - was listening from the other side of the fragile border between life and death. “I miss the café we used to go to, right after I had band practise. I miss our little dates in the park. I miss seeing you in the front row of all our band’s shows. You were so supportive, weren’t you? Always showing up early, cheering your lungs out, then staying late so you could be the first to hug me. Without fail.”

God, how she missed your hugs. They were ones that she could melt into; surrender herself completely without having to offer anything in return. Ones she could fold herself into while your arms wrapped around her shoulders and squeezed gently, soothing enough for her to relax and sink into the comfort of your presence. You felt like a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and a warm blanket to her - somewhere where she could let down any walls she had built around herself, tune out the world and just listen to your voice.

To her, you felt like home.

And oh, how she wanted to go home.

@l0starl @therealloopylupin2099 @hobiebrownismygod

[skinks]

JOE. first of all: a reminder that i love you and think you are simply one of the coolest people i know. i hope you're doing well. SECOND: can you talk to me some more about Becoming a Tradeswoman? i have a SERIOUS lack of confidence in my intelligence/brainworthiness/ability, and have always done white(ish) collar work, but. idk. the idea of working at something more practical (idek what it would be) has always kind of hung around the edges of my brain. no idea where i'd start, how i'd even find out whether i'm GOOD at practical work, whether i could hack it...how did you get started?? i remember your farming days, of course - did you just do it as a summer thing to start? how'd you get into it? anyway. whatever you'd like to talk about would be wonderful. you're amazing. OKAY BYE<3

SARAH HELLO!! First of all may I say ilu too and I think you’re rad, I hope you’re doing well also. I’m just working/exercising/watching movies mostly and have begun the process of buying my first flat, so I’m pretty tired but busy and happier for it.

Sorry it took me a minute to reply to this message, I’ve been thinking it over all week as it’s a wide-ranging topic. People’s routes into any type of work will be as varied as the people themselves, but I can share a little of my own experience for sure.

I live in a rural-ish area with a ton of agriculture, so I got into practical work at 16 when my first ever job was helping out on a farm nearby. My parents went to school with the guy who owned the farm, so soon I was earning money for bottle-feeding calves and mucking stalls. Then I moved to a different farm where I got to help with calving and a bunch of other work, including when I first got to operate forklifts and other heavy machinery.

My friends were all either waitressing or babysitting in town , and I was earning nearly double what they were and having a blast doing it without any of the horror stories of customer service. Most of the time I was on my own, left with the meagre responsibility of a lot of heavy lifting, but it made me feel accomplished. I realised I got such a rush from picking up how to operate a piece of machinery and making myself useful, being trusted to complete a task with a definitive outcome I could SEE. So much schoolwork seemed abstract and arbitrary outside of maths/science - even though I loved reading and was great at writing English papers, it frustrated me that success was graded on subjectivity. Maths is definite. Moving haybales from one barn to another until you’re done is definite. I responded to the constant sense of achievement you get from completing practical tasks and seeing your work make a direct impact on the job. It made me feel more powerful and confident, which was a lifesaver as a miserable teenager getting the self-esteem bullied out of me every day.

From there I quit university (once again couldn’t stand the arbitrary un-structured mess that was research and essays) and went back home to work on another farm. Learned how to drive ATVs, hitch horses into carriages, hitch trailers onto cars, cultivate a garden, build fences, wrangle and lamb sheep, etc etc. In my spare time I chased that high of learning a new practical skill through sports; tried archery, skeet shooting, weightlifting, crossfit, etc. I think having a propensity for sport since childhood does help your confidence in practical work, because you’ve already developed your sense of physicality and proprioception. You’re better coordinated, in a nutshell, but it’s not a dealbreaker for someone who’s not sporty.

Basically, every tiny skill I picked up in all my jobs has just built my confidence in my ability to learn a new one, it’s as simple as that. I could drive a car and muck out a stall, so with good teachers I was able to drive a forklift and lay turf, so I was able to then hitch a tractor trailer, so I could then build and fix an electric fence, so I could prune fruit trees, trim hedges, milk cows, dig ditches, build drystone walls, and rig up a mobile generator in the back of a pick-up so I could sand down logs all day.

Your confidence in your ability to learn is the only thing that matters, but you have to give yourself the chance to START learning. Knowing I had learned how to do all those things meant I had enough confidence to apply to an engineering training course at the local trade college. I yearned to learn more skills, to have the access to equipment and training I hadn’t before, honestly, because of that feeling of power. It makes me feel powerful to learn how to weld, how to use all the machines we have at work in order to be a functioning, useful part of a team.

For a long ass time though I felt the way you’ve described; totally lacking in the confidence to do this type of work. I get that, I really do, and I’m gonna tell you I SERIOUSLY doubt you lack the intelligence or ability to do trade work. I know that sounds like platitudes when you haven’t had the chance to even try it yet, but I’m telling you as someone who’s been there and has gotten over that self-doubt hill. You do not lack the ability, you only need the opportunity to try this work and good teachers to help you. If someone belittles you for asking questions when trying to learn something new, they’re a shitlord bastard who doesn’t deserve to be teaching you, and aren’t worth your time.

Can you think of any skill you’ve picked up and now don’t have to think about to complete? Can you drive, or bake, or follow a craft tutorial? Play a videogame? These types of activities require the type of hand-eye coordination, attention to detail, and subconscious adjustment of technique that are the basic building blocks of practical work imo. A forklift control panel or a metalworking lathe look intimidating, until you’ve been shown what to do and are carefully allowed to try it out for yourself a few times to build your confidence.

After that it’s just practice. I find it far, far easier to weld pipes than to… brainstorm initiatives, or whatever it is people do in offices. That’s a question you need to ask yourself with respect to all of this too, like I said before, what type of work brings you the most satisfaction? Do you like the idea of the precision inherently necessary to tool work, or does the black and white nature of it stress you out? Do you like the idea of focusing solely on a task that is literally at your fingertips, that YOUR skill has a direct effect on? If nothing else, the very fact that you wanna try is a great sign!

In terms of where to get experience, I’d say volunteering is your best bet initially.

- national parks or environmental nonprofits. Look for practical volunteering opportunities! my rangering organisation always has path building/invasive species removal/habitat maintenance sessions available to the public, maybe there’s something similar nearby to you that you could try. It’s so fun and rewarding!

- local farms or animal shelters. Ask around, see if anyone is looking for an extra pair of hands. I travelled in NZ Aotearoa using WWOOF, and there are wwoofing farms literally all over the world. the majority of them are geared towards people just looking to help out, you really don’t need to have any practical experience to go wwoofing

- local trade cooperatives. This is a long shot but it is something I’ve seen crop up in bigger cities here. people will set up community workshops where you can go along and make use of the tools and equipment in a more amateur and inclusive environment, and they’ll often run classes. maybe there’s something similar near to you, and it’s a way to try different things to see if something clicks!

- practical toys. Like, model building kits or even construction toys. It’s a small start, but maybe a good one for you to see how you feel about following plans and building something!

- classes, again. I know you said you’re not sure what you’d even wanna try, but if you have the time and the money, could it be worthwhile taking a class or two, just to try something? leather or wood working? blacksmithing? do you like the thought of being inside or outside? Making things or fixing things? heavy lifting or small precision work? All of it?!

I’m not the best at giving advice, but I do believe in the human ability to learn tool usage with proper instruction. Our ancestors could build their own homes and start fires to make clay pots, and they didn’t even have youtube to tell them how to do it. All it really comes down to then is confidence, and you DESERVE confidence.

Why the fuck shouldn’t you learn how to work a trade, or at least try something practical! That’s what life is about, learning new things. Especially since you’ll meet all sorts of cool new people doing it. You’re a kind and intelligent person, and so long as you’re fine with making a mistake or two, owning up to it, and asking for help when you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll be fine and dandy. I swear it!!!!

[atopvisenyashill]

alright things i liked

baela pointing out that jace is not the first bastard to inherit a seat that isn’t his by blood. that was a fun convo and i loved the back and forth and i love that she comes at it like “why are you moping do you think you’re the only bastard in the fucking world” and jace is like barely able to argue his point that LIVING that reality is so much more draining than she realizes, he’s too busy daydreaming about strangling ulf to death over the kitchen table.

everything helaena did. sensing daemon is having a dragon dream and using it to get him back to rhaenyra’s side, the way she really was listening to alicent’s idea about running away to essos together, letting her mother speak her piece in her defense, then going out onto the balcony knowing aemond is going to corner her and giving him the dressing down of his LIFE while he cries, all very good.

abigail thorne. omg. am i mad she’s not sabitha frey? yes. was she still hilarious? also yes.

ESSOSI OUTFITS THAT LOOK GOOD. WE GOT BLUE HAIR FOLKS!!!!

ulf and hugh and addam. trying to find their place, trying to bond with their dragons and each other, unsure of their footing. addam looked ready to turn to goo in his chair. hugh wincing at every “lowborn” quirk ulf has. ulf going ham on acting like ulf bc he’s nervous & telling jokes to cover it. loved it.

alys alys alys. crying at daemon’s bedside at what’s to come, at what she’s going to face next. do you think she saw simon’s death and wept for her silly uncle. does she grieve her cousins before they have even died. does she weep at daemons bedside knowing she’s leading him to his end.

larys and aegon. the whole scene was so good, the way larys is really trying to convince aegon to leave & fight another day and he has like a VERY solid plan but aegon is so completely shaken up bc he just had no idea aemond hated him that much, this is just what love is to him, is this constant push pull of humiliation and abuse that hes still as blind as he was when he was a child to the way his actions affect aemond.

alfred brune just nervously disappearing into the crowd after Daemon gets everyone singing “god save the queen” is so fucking funny. man is like “oh i misread that one HARDCORE i am about to get ate by a fucjing DRAGON while those two watch and fuck nasty” his ass is GRASS lmao

things that were booty, ass even

every single scene helaena had should have come earlier in the season. there’s no reason alicent & helaena couldn’t have had this convo in the last episode instead of alicent fucking off to the godswood for a swim.

i think it’s fine In Theory that alicent goes to rhaenyra and basically surrenders. she’s been shut out of power, she’s lost control of aemond, she’s terrified for helaena’s safety, and otto who was her rock & partner in all things has been gone for a long while. she’s floundering, her shitty boyfriends have abandoned her, she thinks her only shot is to work out a surrender with rhaenyra. COMMA BUT. caving to rhaenyra saying “i’m gonna have to execute aegon” was dumb & ooc. i’m tired of all these little trips between KL and dragonstone. i think that confrontation lacked a lot of punch, alicent was FAR too calm. idek what they’re doing w alicent’s reactions half the time tbh, this feels once again like being unable to let an actress just look ugly for a minute. even during a scene where she should ostensibly be nervous and freaking out, she looks immaculate & prettily distressed. i’m very much over it esp with how often we’ve seen rhaenyra look banged up or windswept or tired or whatever this season.

officially fridging marilda just takes so much intrigue out of the hull boys & alyn specifically. marilda is the only baseborn or lowborn character we get in the book that isn’t shit talked and this is likely due to alyn making SURE his mother is respected. to cut all of that for….what? more manpain? unacceptable.

pls tell me why tyland gets more haha jokey scenes than baela and rhaena get for any scenes at all. baela fights and SURVIVES the last dragon battle in westeros. rhaena is the last dragon rider until dany. they are powerful political forces just as their grandparents and parents. but they just do NOTHING it is so FRUSTRATING.

in theory i’m fine with aegon thinking sunfyre is dead and then finding out he’s alive bc sunfyre has come to rescue him from something. but if sunfyre doesn’t show up WAY EARLIER than the swan dive, if they CUT SOMEHOW THE SWAN DIVE and we don’t get to see aegon snot-crying and screaming as he holds baela’s burnt open face against a headstone and screams that he’s going to kill her for killing sunfyre while she’s glaring and daring him to fucking do it then, you all will never know peace from me. i will literally never stop bitching i will become the most annoying poster on this website i will find condal and hess and i will-

all build up and for WHAT. did they forget that even tho s6 ended with a bunch of shots of people’s armies moving there was an entire fucking battle that happened and then cersei committed religious terrorism??!!!

OH SO WE KEEP YAPPIN ABOUT DAERON ALL FUCKING SEASON JUST THIS RANDOM ASS FOURTH CHILD THAT WE DIDNT HEAR ABOUT ONCE LAST SEASON, AND ALL WE SAW WAS THAT TWO SECOND SCENE OF TESSARION FROM THE TEASER??

AND WE DONT EVEN SEE DREAMFYRE??

[veryobsessedchild]

‼️Yap Alert‼️ Idk if this is a hot take, but whatever. So when it comes to musical theatre, I would much rather take great acting over like perfect singing during the songs. Like yes, I want the singing to be good, and you probably do have to be a decent singer to be able to act good while singing, but I’d rather listen to an average singer act their heart out while doing it than a professional trying to sound perfect.

I was thinking about this because I decided to watch a video of a live performance of Dead Mom from Beetlejuice the Musical and I ended up liking it better than the album version. In the live version it (obviously) doesn’t sound like it was recorded in a studio and so the quality of the singing wouldn’t be as good, like there were points where you could tell that she was kinda out of breath and points where she might be quieter than the album version. But where the album version gained in quality, it lost in acting. In the live version I watched, there were more “crys”, and one thing she did a lot was that she might end a note by kind of screaming, (idk how to explain it) and even though all of that makes the song sound less I guess, America’s Got Talent worthy??? Idk? It ended up feeling much more raw, like you could hear the emotions behind all of it. To me it’s kinda like, the emotions that she’s feeling during the song are messy so therefor the song being messy as well just makes sense.

Idek what I’m yapping about here but hopefully it makes sense. I’d also like to say that I’m not hating on the album version, I love it, and I know that it makes sense to tone down the acting for albums.

Heere’s the bmc part of this yapfest:

So a lot of the reason that people don’t like Will Roland’s Jeremy is because he “sings everything wrong” or something, and I will admit that I was kind of skeptical when I first listened to the bmc broadway album, but now I love it. As I said before, I prefer the acting being great over the singing being great, so when Will Roland makes all those goofy noises, I actually enjoy it because it adds to his character. Although I’ll say that it can feel a little out of place during some songs, and I can see why some people might not like it. One song that comes to mind where the goofy noises do add a lot to the song is Loser Geek Whatever. I think that those “I want” type songs like LGW and Dead Mom are the best to be sung…weirdly? Idk? I don’t wanna repeat myself, but, the emotions that the characters are feeling are messy so the songs being sung messily makes sense.

TLDR: It’s kinda cool when actors do weird things when singing because it makes the song feel more real.

Alright, yapfest over:3