#ideally this is all done in such a way that he is SEXY . but you'd never want to hang with him because he is deeply obnoxious

[july-19th-club]

how to make a character who sucks so bad and nobody likes him but he is genuinely a good protagonist (good as in interesting, maybe on a rare day good as in decent but also, just like, an incredible jackass) . i need to make him worse i need to make him MEANER!

[thinkingotherwise]

can i request umemiya and reader that they are a couple and since he is like the guys big brother she would be like his big sister? ugh, umemiya is so handsome, gentle, sexy, i love him, i fell in love, i need more content about our number 1.

Umemiya making our expectations for partners way too high. The man seems too perfect.

Hajime Umemiya and his girlfriend being the older siblings or maybe something else to Bofurin members

I think that some Bofurin members give off the youngest sibling energy. Guess who?

You loved Hajime, not only because he was smokin' hot and very charming, even though you loved it as well, but also because of his kindness, the playfulness he showed to everybody, and the attentiveness to, as well as, care about others. He just seemed so perfect and you always told him how lucky you felt to be with him.

As time passed and you spent more and more of it with your ideal man and Bofurin, you also got used to them and the unique relationship they shared. They even started calling you their big sister, as Hajime would usually name himself the big bro, and what other name could they call the girlfriend of their leader?

Honestly, you'd need to be the harsher of you two because your boyfriend was just too soft and playful. He'd pamper the "kids", as he did with the first years, and encourage them to use their youth however they want. You, at the same time, were the voice of reason, trying to keep the Bofurin members under control, as the chaos they could sometimes create was a little too much.

When there was trouble and Bofurin was involved, however, Hajime would become a very protective and firm "older brother". A person you can depend on and leave all your troubles to, and you, as his partner, were responsible for keeping him at bay and not letting him get hurt too much.

The family-like relationship between you, your boyfriend, and other members of the school didn't prevent you from the arguments that arose, thankfully, very rarely.

While you were having a heated conversation with Hajime, the present Bofurin students, who observed it would try to ease you up.

The best ones at that were the first years, because of their awkward, yet playful comments that just made you stop and look at them not believing the words that left their mouths.

"You two always argue like an old married couple." Suou commented loud enough so you could hear him and stop your argument.

It did work and you turned to him but he was far from done and continued with a wide grin on his face.

"Do you plan to adopt all of us in the future, I think some wouldn't mind it."

"The parents are arguing again, what shall we do?" Kiryu joined in on the fun.

You felt your heart beating faster at their teasing getting easily flustered. In the hopes of stopping that your gaze moved to Hajime, who wore a matching grin like the first years, already forgetting about the argument he had with you.

"Well, I wouldn't mind marrying her one day. I'm sure (Y/n) would make a great wife." He commented smiling lovingly at you already imagining the life he could have with you.

"You're getting married?!" Sakura asked loudly getting the attention of other Bofurin members nearby.

That included Hiiragi, who the moment those words left the first year's mouth bent in half feeling the ache in his stomach coming back. He had enough of their shenanigans and slowly walked away to sit somewhere else and calm down.

As well as, Sugishita, who turned with wide eyes to look at the leader in betrayal. How could he not tell him that he was getting married, before telling Sakura?

The whole misunderstanding made you embarrassed and when you saw how much joy it brought Hajime you smacked his arm repeatedly trying to unload the feeling on him. He just laughed loudly and embraced you keeping you close to him.

"Stop it, it's not funny. Sakura, Kiryuu, and Suou you're in so much trouble when I get you!" You called to them trying to push away from the tight embrace but it was impossible.

"Well, hopefully, one day she'll be Umemiya." Hajime said and looked at you with his big loving eyes and you just couldn't take it.

You scrunched your face before hiding it in his shoulder and slapping his biceps twice. You gave in to your fate letting him hug you and shower in love.

Tags: @misticbullet

[cottondo]

Fizzarolli x reader | black lace

chapter three ; glitter

When you first got the phone call from Ozzie's, you hadn't expected it. And you definitely weren't expecting the one to call you to actually be Fizzarolli. You told your manager at Loo Loo Land that you had to go home early because of an 'emergency'. He didn't care, so you left early anyway.

With the fact that you were going to be ON STAGE, NEXT TO FIZZ, you had to make sure that you looked good. Your hair was done up, makeup on point, and your outfit was sexy. Even if you were going to be changed into something else for the stage, you wanted to make sure that Fizz saw you in the hottest state you could possibly be in.

Your phone screen lit up, and you saw the text glowing on the lock screen.

[ UNKNOWN NUMBER ] :

— It's fizz. You here yet?

Your heart skipped a beat, and your excitement returned. He texted you. Fizzarolli fucking texted you!

You smile, bringing the phone up to your face and typed back,

TO: [ UNKNOWN NUMBER ]

— at the doors

  

   

The bright blue sign buzzed above you, shining the name of the man held responsible for the club. When you walked inside, it was loud. Glasses clinked together, demons and imps chat at their tables, and even some music was playing overhead. Your steps were timid, yet, there was a way that you held yourself, that still made you look confident.

Your gaze skipped across the room, until it landed right on Fizz. He was looking around the room, eyes curious. You came to realize that . . he didn't know what you looked like.

How the hell was he supposed to find you?

This left some ideas running through your mind, but you figured playing it cool would be best. As much as you wanted to run up to him, and tackle him to the floor in kisses, it wasn't ideal. He'd probably kick your ass out as fast as he could.

You put on the most confident smirk you can, and walked up to him with ease. Using a finger, you tap on his shoulder and hold back the excitement growing in the pit of your stomach. "How were you supposed to know who to look for, if you don't know what I look like~?" You tease, leaning over to his shoulder.

He turned around, first glancing to what touched his shoulder. After finding out it was a hand— his eyes quickly followed up your arm, and to your face, eyes widening. "Oh- - shit." He stumbled back one step, and while being wide eyed, checked you out. "You're the one I called in?"

You nod. The smile wasn't able to hold back any longer, and breaks through your little confidence act. He nods, giving you another look up and down. "Good choice on my end. You're gonna be getting us lots of attention tonight."

If you could have, you'd faint. You held yourself together, though, and laughed instead. "That 'a good thing?" You tease.

He smirks a bit, hand on his hip. "Oh yeah. Kid, I'm almost sorry I tossed out your application."

Shit. You weren't sure if you should feel flattered, or kind of mad about that. You shrug instead, thinking of a better comeback. "I am too."

He eases into a weaker smile, and nudges you to follow him. "So, what the hell are you doing working at Loo Loo Land? I went through your resume again tonight after fishing it out of the garbage, and . . yeah. Y'know, I'm still looking for the fucker that burned that place down."

You walk beside him, noticing as he picks up the pace through some of the crowd. The clientele was staring at you both.

He really didn't have to rub it in your face that he clearly didn't want to pick you for the job tonight. However, it was done, and he did. So that's all that mattered now.

"Oh, that place. Uh, I'm actually the tech for . . your robot double. Apparently the managers over there worked pretty fast to get the place back up and running. It was under construction for a while." It was almost embarrassing to admit it to him, but working on his double might come off as weird. You wished you could take it back, but it was too late.

Fizz almost tripped, catching your eye and frowning with a hint of concern. "What?" A short laugh breaks through his words, "So, you've got the experience with me, then, huh?" He snickers.

You decide to laugh along with him and nod. "I guess you could say that."

"Great, I'm sure you're already sick of seeing my face, then." He rolls his eyes playfully, and pushes open a door to the employee rooms for you. You sneak past him under his arm, and smile. "Pshh . . only a little bit." The smirk from over your shoulder caused him to tilt his head to the side and smile back. "I figured."

  He guides you down the hallway, up to a room with his name on it. You glance it over once before he steps inside, nudging for you to follow. The door shuts behind you, and you take a quick look around. Different outfits, props, ash trays, and other objects, lay around the room in an organized fashion. It smells like cologne, and smoke.

You absolutely adore it.

"So, here's the deal." Fizzarolli snaps his fingers, and it brings you out of the trance you've been in. "You're going to be my show girl! I'm gonna throw flaming arrows at you, and you're going to do your best to not get hit."

Suddenly, your eyes widen a bit. "Really-?"

"It'll be a piece of cake, doll. Don't worry." His hand waves you off, arm ribbed and bending freely. Fizz turns his back to you, and digs through a cardboard box situated on the floor. You watch nervously as he pulls out an outfit similar to his. Except . . it was a two piece. You'd be sporting his colorful stripes, only it was a tight fitting, two piece, that showed lots of skin. Hot.

"Change into that, and you'll be good to go." He shoves it into your hands. When you felt his fingers touch yours, you ignore all the worry and focus on him instead.

"Okay, cool. Should I find a bathroom or—"

"This is a dressing room, honey. You're gonna have to get used to demons staring at your ass. I'm not looking, don't worry." You catch him rolling his eyes, facing away from you to work on something else.

'Wish you were.' You think to yourself.

You idle there for a quick moment, and bite your bottom lip. "Okay."

Stepping back a few feet, you look around in the darkness of the corner, and slip off your bottoms, holding up the new outfit you'd been chosen to wear. "So, aren't we supposed to practice the act or whatever?" You ask, slipping into the new cheeky shorts. You pull them up and over your hips, and button the high waist.

"Yeah, scratch that." Fizz looks himself over in the mirror, catching your gaze for a split second. Noticing your eyes, he looks away again. "Too many people got here early tonight. I wasn't expecting that to happen. You must be a bad luck charm."

That made something sink in the pit of your stomach, but you brush it off as just a joke. "Nah, I'm the best damn good luck charm you'll ever get." You smirk at his reflection in the mirror and begin to take your top off.

He shrugs, looking away again. "Call yourself what you want, I guess. At least you're doing good for my robot double. I mean, I've heard he's been in some pretty good shape now."

You smile to yourself, slipping the new uniform top on. It was a bit snug, but that was fine. You fix any wrinkles it had, and smooth out the material. "He's still pretty glitchy, I can't even lie." You look up from the shirt, and gaze at him through your sight in the mirror. "Allot of demons really like it though." Your shoulder shrugs. You meet him at the vanity, hanging your previous clothe pieces over a chair, and stand beside him in the mirror to look over your makeup, and of course, check out the new outfit on you.

Fizz watches curiously.

"Allot of them like my doubles, too. I make more money selling those things, than what Loo Loo Land makes." Fizz crosses his arms cross his chest. Having him watch you fix up your makeup felt weird, but in a good way. Part of you was still in total disbelief that this was even happening right now. And getting used to it would be an A-okay thing from now on.

"Freaks that they are. Robots can't be hot." He shakes his head through a little snort.

You turn to look at him, leaning a bit closer to his side. "They can when they look like you." Your smirk catches him off guard. Fizzarolli's eyes widen a bit, and he looks at you with a stiffened back. "I guess you're right. I am pretty hot." He relaxes, waving a hand to back up his statement.

Hot was a total understatement.

"I mean, you're not wrong." You look down at the counter of his vanity, and smile to yourself.

He was so much better in person. RoboFizz was nothing compared to him. The real deal.

"You can say that again, sweetheart." He chuckles to himself, turning his sight away from you, and back into the mirror. You'd gladly repeat it if you really had to.

You smile to yourself instead.

Fizzarolli takes a small container of glitter off of the vanity counter, and looks it over. "Here, slap some of this on. We gotta make you look stage ready." His finger dips in the dish, covering it in colors of silver and gold.

You turn to face him and he holds up a hand, the one free of makeup grabs your face, claws closing tight around your jaw. His other hand, fingers dipped with glitter, nears your eyes.

You hold as still as physically possible. Trying to settle the jittered breathing was the hardest part- - your pulse would easily give it away, if he could feel it, that you were flipping your shit over him.

"I thought I already was." You tease, snorting some laughter. He swipes a few fingers across your face and places the sparkling shimmer where he figured would look good. "Well yeah, but on stage you need to really glow." Fizz shrugs a shoulder. "Now hold still."

"Okay." You speak softly.

Concentration on his face, you blink innocently up at him as he puts a little force into the design on your skin. You gently closed your eyes as his hand travels up to your eyes. Swiping some glitter over your eyelids, he then dusts it on your cheekbones, and exposed chest, with one of the vanity makeup brushes.

"Alright, kid." He steps back, narrowing an eye with thought as you turn to look at yourself in the mirror. It was cute, and he was definitely right; it made your face pop allot more. You nod, smiling at him. "Cutee."

Fizzarolli nods, flicking his tail from behind. "Now, going over some things on your application . ." He shifts his view to the papers that had been sitting on the countertop. Your own gaze travels over to it.

There may have been a few little lies on that. Yes, you've had the experience of working at Loo Loo Land, and yeah, you helped out on stage before over there. But you've never done anything extravagant; like, have flaming arrows fly at you. You just really wanted the job.

"Mhm?" You look over his shoulder and catch his gaze again.

"Where else have you worked that's in the dancing industry?" He asks.

Thinking back, it had been a while, but you did have some stripping experience as one of your first jobs in hell. You needed some quick cash, and that was your answer.

"I worked for someone a while back in the lust ring. He owned a club." You shuffle back and try to forget the thoughts. "Uh, I did some private dancing there for a while."

Fizz must have noticed the discomfort in the features before pressing on, because you saw the way his face cringed for a brief moment. "Great! So, you can do pole tricks, right?"

You weren't exactly a master at it- - but it was easy enough for you to do again. A year long experience with it in the past, you'd be able to do it again without getting too many bruises this time.

"Yeah! Totally." You smile.

"Great, that's all we need." He pushes the papers back into the trashcan underneath the counter, and you watch them flutter down. Shifting your attention back to Fizz, he steps away from your side, and places his hands on his hips. "So, I'm gonna have you on the pole, and you're going to dance. When I shoot the arrows, you're going to dodge them. Easy enough, right?" He grins a bit. You nod. "Sure."

"Maybe I tell some jokes in between sessions, but whatever the audience wants more of." His hand rolls while talking, and you earn more interest. "Usually, they just want the sexy stuff."

You tilt your head to the side in interest. "Do you have any jokes written down?"

He stops at that question, and turns to you curiously. "Some . ." With brows slightly scrunched together, he gives what seems to be an uneasy smile. Maybe it was suspicion?

"You care about my jokes?"

You offer him a softer smile in turn, laughing lightly. Of course you cared about his jokes. Him starting our small as a little boy in the circus industry was what really caught your attention all of those years ago.

Just an IMP trying to make it. And he did.

"Well, yeah. They're the best part of your acts." It was all true, and you clearly meant it.

Fizzarolli nods silently, slowly. Just as he was to speak up again, there was a knock on the door. You turn your head and he slouches. "What is it?"

A little demon pops his head in, looking around the room. He spots you, then Fizz, and cringes. "Shit, sorry, am I interrupting something?"

You slowly turn to look at Fizz and catch his expression. It was neutral.

"No. What do you need?"

"Ozzie wanted me to wish you good luck. He said he's sorry about not being able to preform tonight, but there's another group coming out later to sing." The man steps in the doorway now, hands holding a clipboard.

Fizz nods along, thinking back. "What group?"

"It's Verosika Mayday. The audience is pretty excited about it." He says. Then, two eyes land on you, and smirk. "So, is this your new side piece?"

Oh shit. You really are working with the big boys now. You finally fucking made it! It took some time, but you're here! Now, all you have to do, is just stay calm, and don't get in the way, and—

"No." Fizz scrunches his face at the man. "Y/N's here for a one night stand-in. I needed someone to cover for Ozzie's act tonight."

The mood ended fast, and suddenly, your body shattered in your step.

That's all you were to him? Just . . a stand-in. oh.

"Sure . . well, I'll leave you to it, then!" The demon laughs, nudging Fizz in the arm, before turning on his heel and making his exit out the door. Fizz slams the door shut behind him, and rolls his eyes, turning back to you.

It was more than obvious that Fizzarolli didn't like the guy— or, well, demon. He lets out an irritable sigh and steps around your idling frame in the middle of the dressing room.

"Hey, sweetheart,"

You snap back to reality and turn to face him. "Yeah?"

"Let's get this show on the road."

_______________________

please remember to vote if you're

enjoying the story ! thank you <3

[moongirlcleo]

Jellal x Fem!Reader

summary: imagine needing a source of info on Jellal so ft member! Female reader manages to find him while on a job, of course this info costs a fee, and with no money there must be other ways to compensate that would leave the reader twitching and with the information she needs, ya know👀 CW: character is slightly OOC in this to fit the request, but who cares. Smut, a good time, alcohol consumption, slight dubcon thanks to booze. A/N: i wont even lie, this got lost because I lost the original ask due to trying to figure out who this request was about, but thank you for reminding me.

There weren't many things that surprised you in life anymore. Today was one of those few times. You were fairly sure that what you were about to do would go down as either the most disturbing moment of your life, or the most... satisfying. Especially because it wasn't something that happened to you, being caught without money and trying to glean information about someone.

Instead, you found yourself at Jellal's mercy. Well, perhaps not exactly. You still had some of your pride. And any woman who thinks she's got anything left has never met Jellal. Your only option for now, then, was to agree to his demands or pay up accordingly. After all, you already let it slip you were there for information about him. Erza had sent you on this mission, and you weren't expecting your target to be so... sexy. Or available. It could be a fun night.

"You want some wine?" He asked, before going over to pour himself a glass. The table was cluttered with various types, from sweet whites to more bold reds, sparkling ones and others. "It'll help calm you down."

That sounded like the perfect idea to you right now. Even though your situation wasn't ideal by any means, you needed some liquid courage. You always did when dealing with strange men, and he certainly qualified as that. You didn't know much about him, but he seemed a little out of place here in this deserted town. Did he own this bar? How much was he worth? What kind of stuff did he like to do? Those were questions that would probably have to wait until tomorrow.

For tonight, you just wanted to drink and get on with the interrogation. "Yes, please."

As he poured your glass, you sat down across from him, eyes fixed on his hands. You'd spent quite a bit of time practicing self-defense with different types of knives and swords, but none of them were able to pierce human skin. With your focus elsewhere, however, you barely felt him sit next to you. But when he finally reached over and offered you the glass, you soon found yourself in his lap.

Jellal's hands slid around your waist and onto your hips.

His fingers pressed against your sides and you could feel the tips run along your backside, causing your body to shiver. His smirk radiated across his face, hiding whatever secrets you came to extract from him.

"So you came to get information on me, yeah?" He purred into your ear. "And how much are you willing to pay me for it?"

In one swift motion, he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, straddling you. A small part of you hoped you might be able to fight him off and escape, but the alcohol in your system had already done its work.

"I--" You tried to respond, but the blush along your cheeks gave you away. Jellal laughed.

"Alright, pretty bird, I'll give you what you want to know. For a fee, of course."

Jellal smirked again, letting his hand slide around your throat. You flinched, surprised at the roughness of his touch. Maybe it was the alcohol making you weak, but you felt your knees tremble as he whispered directly into your ear, using his free hand to unbutton your blouse.

When he pulled back, he pushed the straps of your bra aside and exposed your breasts. "Let's see how badly you want this info. Make me want to give it to you."

He tugged your shirt back down, giving him access to your skin. His finger traced circles around your breasts, and you arched your back, thrusting them closer towards him. As you lost control, you began to giggle and press against his body. Your mind couldn't grasp what was happening, but all you knew was that your brain seemed to shut down, leaving you helplessly turned on.

When Jellal lifted his finger away, you looked at him through hooded eyes. "What's the price?"

Jellal smirked. "Good girl. Not very difficult to convince. One kiss, and you're already at my mercy. Make me cum, and I'll give you the info."

His words ignited an even stronger desire within you. It was hard enough being able to look into his lustful gaze, but now he was practically commanding you to pleasure him. You whimpered softly and stood up, climbing back onto his lap. With a breath, you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him roughly. His lips parted slightly and you slipped your tongue inside, slowly gliding over his teeth. This time, he let out a low groan and returned the favor, running his hands down your backside and into your underwear. Your stomach clenched.

There was nothing else you could think about but how good it felt to be with him. He picked you up easily, and carried you over to a large couch. You kicked your legs around as he set you down, almost crushing your breasts in the process. When you felt his hardness press against your thigh, you moaned loudly.

You smiled shyly, licking your lips. Before you knew it, you found yourself underneath him. You wiggled under his weight, eager to feel him deep inside of you. His pants remained unzipped, and you moved closer to push them down, but Jellal shook his head.

"Wait." He said, grabbing a nearby chair and setting it upright. "Sit."

Once seated, he reached out his hand and ran it up your inner thigh. Slowly, he slid a finger under your panties and pressed forward. As his other hand made its way to the top of your breast, he slid two fingers into your wet slit. You squirmed beneath him, moaning loudly as he stroked you.

Your thighs clamped together involuntarily, but he gripped them tightly, forcing them open. With his free hand, he began to massage your bundle of nerves. With each brush of his thumb, you cried out. Finally, he leaned forward, burying his face between your legs. His warm breath sent chills throughout your body. His hot mouth surrounded your clit, sucking it gently. You wrapped your arms around his head, grabbing handfuls of hair.

With each stroke, you couldn't hold back your cries. Jellal licked his lips, then pressed his tongue harder against you. You cried out again, unable to control your pleasure.

Your head fell back, your hands gripping his head as you rode out the waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Every thrust pushed you further into climax, making you grab his shoulder tighter. As your breathing slowed, you glanced down to find his cock sticking straight out. Still erect, it pointed right at your face. With a sly grin, he grabbed your chin and forced you to meet his gaze.

You started to lean forward, intent on taking him in your mouth, but his lips stopped you.

The smile returned to his face. "Oh no, I'm fucking you right here." Hearing those words had your pussy clenching even harder than before.

"Come on," he murmured, running his fingers up and down your torso. "Back to the couch."

By the time you were seated once again, you couldn't contain yourself any longer. Panting heavily, he lowered his hips and let his thick member slide into your body. He sank slowly, grinding his hips against yours, and you took a sharp intake of breath. He leaned forward, kissing you deeply as he fucked you mercilessly.

Each thrust sent shockwaves throughout your body, making your clit throb. Sweat dripped from Jellal's brow as he stared down at you. Without warning, he suddenly increased the pace, pressing his hips down hard against yours. Every thrust sent a new wave of pleasure surging through your body, making you whimper uncontrollably. Suddenly, Jellal pulled out and slammed into you once more. Then again, and again.

All too quickly, you were nearing another climax. As you looked up at him, you saw his face contorted in pleasure. His eyes glazed over as his dick pulsated, sending thick white ropes of seed shooting into you. With every pulse, you came as well, your orgasm spilling over you in sheets. You fell limp on the couch, breathing heavily. Jellal collapsed beside you, panting.

After several minutes, he finally regained his senses. Gently, he pulled his softening member out of you. You lay there in blissful exhaustion, exhausted by both the passion and the physical exertion. The room was filled with the faint smell of sex, and it took a while for your body to return to normal.

Jellal leaned over and kissed you on the forehead. "You can ask me anything now, if you like."

At first, you thought he was kidding. The whole thing was such a blur, and you'd almost forgotten why you were there in the first place. It took everything in you to recall what you needed from him, and he patiently waited for you to ask him all you needed.

It wasn't until the following day did the whole thing hit you. Maybe you'd take missions like these more often.

[xisanamii]

pokemon AU brainrot is real (i can't draw pokemon) i have some thoughts underneath the cut, so you can read them for fun if you'd like. what i will say over it though is that once again rabbit's gigantic sexy galaxy brain gave the pokemon ideas for murasaku, moriliu, and mayukuro. mwah thanks as always you should give your brain more credit (i will force you to)

when SV came out i remember bulldozing for a charcadet cuz i saw ceruledge and was like damn that's cool, and named him "tatsuya" (first name for fun) - then i found out he had a counterpart (armarouge) and i was like wow this is literally kagami and himuro (please see their dex entries for more info). i haven't done much in the way of writing, but just know in my head there's an entire story with the dramatic breakup where they both started off with charcadet, and then stuff happened. emulating canon, basically. alex trained them with her skeledirge.

next, takao's emolga and erika's pancham torment himuro, because why not. hot man suffering or something. himuro's popularity certainly translates over to pokemon (emolga likes midorima better, but they like to tease himuro because takao does).

last of the himuro series, i do have an entire team thought up for himueri - i love ceruledge, but froslass would be THE pokemon for himuro (like, designated partner pokemon... reasons are self-explanatory). and cinccino is THE pokemon for erika (scarf...) - they're just tormenting each other. my favorite thought about this is that froslass very often thinks about making himuro a frozen statue because of how hot he is (she doesn't, because she's trained well, but she has Thoughts). she doesn't really care about erika but grows to tolerate her, and would turn her into a statue if it makes himuro happy (i mean, it wouldn't, but froslass is vibing). on the other hand, cinccino admires himuro's skin and wonders about his skincare routine.

murasakibara and sakurai own their own bakery shop, where they cater to pokemon and humans alike. don't mind the poisonous looking poffins. amoonguss (sakurai's) just chills around the shop a lot and tries to leech off the extra goodies if there are any. alcremie (murasakibara's) helps out with the baking, and is fascinated by how well the two can manage to switch between different types of pastries and bento boxes. savory AND sweet foods offered! i call it a bakery but it's a glorified bakery because they can do a lot of different foods.

moriyama and liu wei definitely start out like how i've written them in my yosen canon lol they bond over wanting to flirt and seduce women, but it creates a whole other can of sexual tension. moriyama's delcatty is often the semi-unwilling captain of moriyama's journey to become popular with women. she does love him but barely manages to tolerate his shenanigans (unfortunately, it sometimes works - girls will come up to pet his delcatty. she enjoys being pampered and the attention, at least). escavalier for liu wei, and to quote rabbit, a knight in shining armor represents his ideals best given his antiquated demeanor. plus, it's pretty swoonworthy to be popular with the ladies. they're all gay though.

mimikyu for mayuzumi and pikachu for kuroko should be self-explanatory. kuroko's pikachu has blue eyes... because why not. i imagine that mayuzumi reads out in the park often to calm mimikyu's sadness. pikachu desperately wants mimikyu to like him. mimikyu ain't having it though. however, much to mayuzumi's disgruntlement, mimikyu does like kuroko more than pikachu. no one is deterred by the other's bitterness - in fact, it's much ammo for teasing.

[everythingateez]

ATEEZ as your boyfriend: Hongjoong

How you met (cw: idol!y/n, bouncy, hook up, freaky talk, chat room, sexy man, utility closet, inkigayo)

You were stood backstage at Inkigayo, watching ATEEZ sunbaenim perform their newest comeback 'Bouncy'. You had just debuted in a girl group, and were promoting with your track 'Monster Truck' at the moment. You were next to go on after ATEEZ, so you stood by patientely while the staff checked you and your group's mics. This was the first time you saw ATEEZ sunbaenim perform in real life, and as a long time fan of their work, you watched intensely. When ATEEZ was finished, they started walking off the stage, which you knew meant your cue to walk on was any second. You couldn't help but keep your eyes on Hongjoong as ATEEZ exited the stage. You'd always admired him, especially from a far, and of you had to be honest, you found him sexy. He was your ideal type, but you knew you couldn't even dream of it. The dating scandal would ruin both of you. And besides, he probably didn't even know you existed.

As you were about to look away and prepare to enter the stage, Hongjoong gaze shifted over and met your eyes. When he noticed that you were already looking at him, he smirked and gave you a wink. Not daring to look away, the two of you kept eye contact for what felt like forever, but was honestly probably about 5 seconds, before the staff rushed you on stage and making you break it. All flustered, you rushed up after your members and got into the starting formation. You performed your song the worst you'd probably ever did, as Hongjoong was the only thing on your mind.

After Inkigayo, all the artist of the day were gathered for the album exchange. You held your groups pile of albums, and were handing them out patientely. You got to the end of the line with only one album left to go to ATEEZ sunbaenim. Hongjoong was holding their album, and after bowing to each other, you exchanged them. Hongjoong looked down on the album, before looking up at you and stepping closer.

"Y/N...... why do I feel like you can be freaky?" Hongjoong said smoothly into your ear, loud enough only for you to hear.

You turned red like no other. He leaned away smirking, before gesturing towards the album with his head.

"I hope you look through it carefully. Well done today girls!" Hongjoong said to your whole group, but his eyes were stuck on you. You swallow hard before bowing deep and saying your thanks, mostly to break the intense eye contact.

In the car on your way back to your dorm, you open the Boncy ATEEZ album. You flip through it, and between two photos of Hongjoong you find a little note with a Kakaotalk ID written down on it.

-

@y/n_star: hello?

@joongie22: who's this?

@y/n_star: it's Y/N... i found your ID in your album

@y/n_star: you know, the album you gave me today

@joonie22: oh hey there haha. yeah your track is lit. and you look like you enjoy some fun.

@y/n_star: what kinda fun?

@joonie22: are your group promotion next week aswell? inkigayo, music bank, m!countdown?

@y/n_star: yeah we are doing all of those... why?

@joonie22: meet me at inkigayo near the toilets on the second floor next week between rehearsals and the show, and we'll discuss then ;)

-

A week later, you had excused yourself after your rehearsal, and headed to the planned meeting place. Nervous, but surprisinly excited, you thought about what was about to happen. You were at an music show, you couldn't... surely, you were just dirty minded. And why would Hongjoong go there with you? You were just a rookie, a nobody compared to him. Still, you reached the meeting place, and waited nervously.

It took 10 minutes before the familiar silhouette came walking down the hallway. You eyes locked instantely and you could tell from that moment you were screwed. Without a word, he took your upper arm, and pulled you into a utility closet. After closing the door behind you, he pinned you to the wall and stared you into the eyes. You couldn't help it, so you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. One thing let to the other, and you two got freaky in the utility closet between the soaps and mops.

After you were done, he asked you to rate him from a 1-10, and leave him a review on his phone note app. You knew this couldn't be more than a fuck now and then, and so to entertain him, you did. You gave him a 6/10 with a comment that you didn't cum but you had fun. He did not like that, so for every other music show that week, he kept meeting you in utility closets to improve his score.

Dating (cw: Kakaotalk, sex talk, feelings)

1 month later

@joonie22: y/n... i miss you..

@y/n_star: we ended promotions 1 week ago, can you not go 1 week without a fuck?

@joonie22: no, it's not like that...

@y/n_star: huh? i don't get it

@joonie22: yeah, i obviously miss fucking you. you are smoking hot. but it's a different feeling I'm having..

@y/n_star: elaborate.

@joonie22: like, even if we just sat together and didn't fuck, i like, wouldn't be mad. do you get what i mean?

@y/n_star: maybe

@joonie22: like, i wanna hang out and shit

@joonie22: fuck, this is difficult to explain

@joonie22: feelings and shit

@y/n_star: wait... you're not saying you have feelings for me

@joonie22: and what if i am?

@joonie22: are you free this saturday? if so, let's hang out and talk please

@joonie22: ive had so many casual fucks, but none like this. you are trapped in my head.

@y/n_star: ediya at ewha at 2pm? does that work? no promises, just to talk it out

@joonie22: thank you y/n, thank you sm

-

You met up with Hongjoong. What had just started out as a casual fucking friendship had developed feelings within Hongjoong he never knew he could feel for someone. All he wanted to do was have you on all levels. After taking it all out for 5 hours, you decided to give it a shot and start dating. You made some rules, like keeping it a secret from the public for as long as possible, as you were a rookie and could not risk your reputation.

The Relationship (cw: needy, protective, babygirl, snapchat, lotion, Papa, dolphins)

- Hongjoong wants you all for himself. When he sees you with other men, even other ATEEZ members and variety show hosts, his blood boils.

- He is very protective of you. He wants no one to ever be able to use you like he used you originally, and feels very ashamed of it.

- His nickname for you are babygirl, and he will only address you as such.

- He will give you his hoodies and insist those are the only things you wear when you aren't promoting.

- When you guys can't be together because of promotions, he demands atleast 10 facetimes a day, 16 snapchat updates, and for you to share your location at all times. It may seem excessive, but it's only because he cares.

- You sometime wake up in the middle of the night to him staring at you in the darkness. You close your eyes and pretend it didn't happen.

- He learns all the dances to your choreo

- You two are always taking cute selfies together, and if you don't use the newest one as your phone background he cries

- He insist on putting lotion on you after a steamy shower with him as after care

- Send you shirtless pics when he is working out

- His favorite date spots with you are the swimming pool, the gym and the beach, all because he can see your smoking hot body that way

- "Papa likes what he sees"

- Will sit on your ass and give you back massaged whenever you are stressed out

- Made a point of showing you that he deleted all the other girl idols KakaoID infos he used to fuck before he met you

- Buys you cute couple keychains that are vague enogh to not blow your cover

- Always sends you good night and good morning texts

- Insists on playing dolphins at the pool

NSFW (cw: pussy slapping, pussy eating, whimpering, reverse cowgirl, ass, hickeys, omegaverse, monster cock)

- Whenever you two get into a fight, he goes down on you to apologise

- He will always work overtime in bed, he never forgot that 6/10 fuck rating you gave him

- He whimpers loudly in your ear when he cums

- He loves pussy slapping and pussy eating, and he has a nickname for your cooch; "PETA's worst nightmare"

- He wants to do it as often as possible, and loction and time does not hinder him. You guys have probably done it at every room at both your dorms, your companies and at Inkigayo

- He is an ass man, so he loves reverse cowgirl, so he can get a good grab of that ass (because the pussy is in use)

- Will NEVER use any kind of toy on you, as that was most likely produced by another man and he is the only man allowed down there

- Leaves massive hickies on "accident", when in reality it's his way of marking you as taken

- He always cums inside of you, saying it's his way as an alpha to claim his omega

- Very little foreplay, as he is too eager to fill you up with his monster cock

- Since your relationship started with sex, it's obviously a great and fruitful aspect of your relationship

[tacky-optic]

I SAY BEHOLD BEHOLD OUR RAMBLES WITH YOUR PUNY MORTAL EYES, RANDOM INTERNET PEOPLE. IF UR DOWN THIS FAR Y'ALL SIGNED UP FOR THIS A LOOONG TIME AGO!!! but i really do appreciate this btw. its a genuine pleasure having the ceo/phd holder of luzeni go absolutely ham on my silly little post lol

anyway sending u a letter delicately sealed with an exquisite wax stamp pressed with a design of luzeni making out mega nasty style. yes there is carefully concealed old man yaoi inside

_ so many delicious hypotheticals, goddamn. having this mega sad edgelord noir detective zenigata blush a lil when this friggin' gyuhuhu-ass guy wearing an obnoxiously bright jacket crawls into his window is such a fantastic mental image. there's a reason i have this hyper-idealized image of this god forsaken schrodinger's koike zeni movie in my noggin because THATS WHERE YOU'D GET THE REAL NASTY SHIT. they had it right there-- reciting romeo and juliet and wanton declarations of violence via shooting to kill. that got to me man. right here. in my very real heart that i'm pointing to.

there's permanence in their impermanence, i think. same vein as that "stability in instability" take i already blathered about. their refusal to maintain anything concrete is their truce.

_ i personally think zeni cares about his bosses and the people he has to surround himself with (just so he has the resources to get closer to capturing lupin) a little bit. maybe 'flipping off' isnt the most accurate way of putting it but he would get some sensation out of proving them wrong, or just proving something, anything at all. he is SO praise-deprived. dude starts openly full-body bawling the second anyone tells him he did something, like, a little bit okay lmao. very pathetic wet cat behavior. zenigata is too human, he cares too much. every single aspect of him is simply a lot. in those moments where his full-throttle lupin-fixating is on the backburner, any bit of validation that lets him know he isn't wasting his life on this pursuit wracks him right to his goddamn core. stokes the fire, makes him work ten times as hard. as long as all of it circles back into fueling the Chase, its solid :thumbsup:

but maybe that's more of a pt 2/certain specials thing, i dunno. it weaseled its way into my brain somehow s'all i can say lol. either way its in his character dna. like you said there's just so many different versions of him, all with different extremes that somehow manage to maintain his core characterization. but holy shit moments where he does not give even a SINGLE SHIT are some of my favorites. pt 1 finale where he has that big-ass tantrum "I'M NOT GONNA GO ALONG WITH YOUR DUMBASS PLAN" and then the commish is like "DAMN RIGHT YOU FUCKING WON'T, YOU'RE DEMOTED" and then zeni smashes a chair or some shit. i think a golf club was involved?? whatever. "IM DOING THIS MY WAY. IF I FAIL I QUIT. TEA TIME'S OVER MOTHERFUCKER." its peak

_ "Let Lupin rot in jealousy and desire and the anger of not being the focal point of everything". as a chronic jigzeni obsessor this sings to me. i froth at the mouth over this. it really is difficult to concoct jigzeni without lupin peeking his ugly little freaknasty imp head in there because man, he really is so deeply integral to their lives (as he should be! as much as he simultaneously does and doesn't deserve it he is our mc.) but it IS possible. in my heart of hearts it is doable and it freaks all of them the fuck out. what a beautiful subversion-- it's not the guy, but the guy-adjacent. and the guy does not like that because it really is really sexy. sexier than he could've had it, which, wtf. that's not.... that's not right.

i think it boils down to jigen and zenigata just straight up not caring for once. which is all chill for jigen but inherently easier said than done for zenigata. i think that's where most of the hold-up stems from for some ppl. there's this one fic (sry i keep linking fics and i feel like i'm giving out homework waghhh) that i think about a lot where jigen's just perfect. like can we please just forget about him for ten fucking seconds??

unfortunately zeni could not forget in that fic. but if he did? mm. good shit. get bent, lupin. or not i guess. its jigen's turn, oops. better luck next timeline

i have unprompted lupin-esque questions pop into my stream of conscious, interrupting my day-to-day wholesale, and one of them is "damn. does lupin only have three companions because zenigata never caved and joined him". like what kind of question is that??

i think its one of the more recurring ones because the sorta lines in lupin tv/films that're like "kinda surprising you're a cop" or "you'd fit in real well with us" or, the wombo combo of the two, "your skills are wasted on your job" really dig into my brain and won't feckin' leave.

in a lot of iterations, jigen and goemon meet lupin when they're tasked with killing him. fujiko's essentially his other rival. and yet, despite whatever the rest of the gang may be doing or whoever they pledge themselves to or whatever other jobs they might take on they always wind up right next to lupin again. on the same team, even.

and then there's zenigata. the sole obstinate holdout. they truce, they save each other's lives, have an avengers bonus credit scene shawarma lunch, etc etc. yet he isn't *with* them. he dips after they stop some evil billionaire from blowing up a city for some asinine power/profit grab or whatever the fuck, shouting that he'll "get them next week" while comically shaking his fist at the sky, and jigen rolls his eyes for the dozenth time and goes "that guy'll never change, will he". no jigen, he won't. when things calm down he'll sit alone in his office and do paperwork for all the property damage he caused with lupin & co. like he always does.

lupin and zenigata prefer it that way, obviously. they know their roles and how to play them. zenigata's too good to be a cop but he's also too good to be with lupin. lupin will kill in self-defense whereas zenigata will *not* kill, period. a la "life is a much more incredibly significant thing".

and then there's the *other* obviously-- the adversarial aspect. they can only *truly* challenge each other if they're on opposing sides. jigen stuck around after lupin beat him. goemon pledged his allegiance to lupin after he bested him. fujiko cozies up to lupin because it's easier than outright contesting him. but lupin is the best criminal and zenigata is the best cop. of course they'll never swap sides. they have the most fun from where they are.

"but tackyyy, what if he *did* join them?" you may ask. well whether it'd be cathartic for zenigata or not aside, there's some other q's that come up that deserve some consideration.

would the gang finally be "complete" if zenigata finally shed his inspector title? what would that look like, how would it work out? what does that even *mean*? is lupin just collecting people he thinks are neat? if so, if a hypothetical (realllllllly emphasizing that hypothetical btw) fourth-- someone with skills on the right level and surprisingly good chemistry with the gang-- came along, would lupin welcome them? or would lupin look at zenigata and go "nah, i'd rather have *that* guy"? lots of stuff to explore.

but at the end of the day there's one thing that really gets my brain gears turning. i think zenigata's higher-ups imagine him on lupin's side and shudder. i think *zenigata* imagines himself on lupin's side and shudders. i think the only way his full potential can be realized is if he's with lupin *permanently*. those blips of unbridled feral skill wouldn't be blips anymore. they'd be normal. and devastating. and the five of them would be unstoppable. and maybe that'd scare him, finally knowing exactly what he's capable of. maybe it *already* scares him, knowing he's the only one who can decide what happens.

[bambikisss]

Hey I'm the same anon who asked if you do reactions and imagines, so I hope these are okay

- What's a special dish that they'd cook for their partner?

- What's something they'd look for in their ideal type? (Personality, body feature etc.)

So, the first one was a bit hard (took me a bit) so I hope you all like it. As for the second one, I'll answer it in a separate post!

~Bambi

JAEBEOM

Spicy Catfish Soup

This popped in my head from an interview he had done. I feel like he'd make a big deal out of it, shooing you from the shared home to go and catch the fish before making the soup, wanting it to be perfect before you came home. When you did, he would be smiling the whole time while you stared at the soup in awe, then be proud when he told you he actually caught the fish. Expect this for an anniversary or birthday dinner.

MARK

Family Feast

OK, hear me out. I feel like he would invite you over to meet his family while he helped his family cook meals. He would watch as you played with his nieces and nephews and other family members as he helped grill. Then once everything is done, he'd pursued you to eat with him outside under the stars as you'd both eat in silence and enjoy each other's company before he offered dessert. You both would try to make Bingsu from scratch, laughing along the way.

JACKSON

Dumplings

During his first Chinese new year with you, he'd make it a full-day affair to make the food, especially the dumplings. You'd both make the fillings and have a contest to see who could make the dumplings look the best and who could make the most in a short amount of time. He would sometimes wrap his arms around you and help you pleat the dumplings to help you win. If you wanted it spicy, though, you'd be on your own as he would stand at the complete opposite side of the counter as far away from you as possible ("I'll support you baby...from over here!) He'd also in the morning make you one of his smoothies, making sure to not add chicken breast.

JINYOUNG

 Japchae: Glass Noodle Stir Fry

You had a bit of a green thumb so when you got sad one day and said you were really craving noodles, he decided to make you this. He would go outside in the rain and gather the ingredients and make it for you, wrapping you in the warm burrito blanket and placed you in front of the tv before presenting the food to you. He'll especially do this on your birthday or when you're really sad.

YOUNGJAE

Ramen

I have this slight sneaking suspicion that he isn't the best cook, so when you came home late from work and were soaked from rain, he thought to make something simple and opted to make you some spicy ramen. He placed you on the couch as he insisted that he had it, cooking the ramen the way he had observed you do for him so many times, then offered it to you. He would rub your shoulder and comfort you before washing your bowl and cuddling with you as you ranted about your day or just fell asleep.

BAMBAM

Anything Thai

I wasn't going to put BB into a boundary because he would make whatever you want based on how you felt in the moment. If it was your birthday and you wanted something hot he'd make you Kuay Tiew Mu Tom Yum. If you hated the heat outside and had sat through a day of some...particular activities (hehe sexy time), he'd make you Thai Pomelo Salad.

YUGYEOM

Pizza

He'd definitely be the one to make a pizza-making date night. I decided to go the international food route with him. He'd try and toss the pizza like he had watched on YouTube before he ended up hitting his ceiling and blushing at your laughter. His dog would also be trying to steal some toppings he had laid out on the counter, Yugyeom laughing as he pushed back the pepperoni. Similar to Jackson, he'd wrap his arms around you and help you make the pizza just the way you both wanted it.

[eryiss]

Summary: Forced to be sociable by his so called friends, Laxus finds himself attending a five week cooking class. An insulting and stupid idea, and one he resents them for doing. He would have thrown it in their faces, if it weren’t for the smug prick teaching the class, with his handsome face, delectable body, and annoyingly enticing way of keeping Laxus on his toes. [Fraxus One Shot]

Notes: Hi. I wrote this on my phone while sitting on the beach, so who knows how it’ll turn out. But it’s got them both being cocky, both being flirty, and both being in love, so what else could you want. Hope you all enjoy it.

Links: FFN, Ao3

Set To Boil

Or: 4 Times Freed taught Laxus a recipe, & 1 time Laxus returned the favour

Week One - Pizza

"Laxus, you need to get out more."

"Laxus, there's no reason for you not to give it a try."

"Laxus, you're an antisocial brat and you need to get out more."

Fuck them all. Fuck Evergreen for her haughty sense of self belief. Fuck Bickslow for having no tact and being and coming up with good points. Fuck Makarov in particular, for being a rude old coot who threatened to change the damn lock. And when Laxus found out which of the interfering bastards had been the one to come up with this stupid idea, then fuck them too.

It was ridiculous. Yes, perhaps Laxus had become somewhat insular as of late. Maybe his friends had been putting in more effort than him as of late, but it was important. He was newly hired in his sports journalism career, and he needed to focus on his writing.

What he did not need was a five week cooking course!

Why the hell did cooking courses even exist anymore? If you wanted to learn to cook, there was this brilliant new invention called a computer. They had hundreds of step by step recipes, none of which required Laxus to trudge through a damn rec-centre at eight at night!

Seriously, fuck them all.

He was late, too. The bus had missed his stop, and as such he was now ten damn minutes late. He was half-tempted to leave the rec-centre before he found his classroom - Ever, Bicks and Makarov wouldn't find out if he didn't use the damn voucher, after all - but then he would have to spend the next five weeks thinking of ways to pass the time every Thursday night. He really needed to move out of Makarov's damn apartment; the old bastard apparently had nothing better to do than to keep tabs on him. Bastard.

He was in front of the classroom door before he knew it, and he faulted. Dammit, why had he agreed to do this? Why couldn't the bus have gotten him there on time? Why was he nervous about this?

No; he was a grown man dammit. Fuck his nerves,

With false confidence, he walked into the classroom. Eight benches, all with sinks, ovens, cooktops, an array of cutlery and equipment, and a basket of ingredients filled the space. Five people stood behind some of the benches, and Laxus somewhat guilty slinked towards the nearest bench, at the back of the classroom.

"Mr Dreyar, I presume," A voice, deliciously smooth with underlying authority, made Laxus pause.

He looked up to see a man standing at the front of the room, behind a larger and more professional looking cooking worktop, and Laxus paused. If you were to encapsulate all of Laxus' ideal qualities in a man, his new teacher was apparently as close a person could come. Tall, obviously with some muscle, tight and sharp facial features, a little pale, and with long hair. He wore a button up shirt that hugged his form, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing off a near-indecent amount of his forearms. He was quirking his eyebrow towards Laxus, and he felt ensnared by the expression.

Dammit, of course. Almost every other cooking class in the country would inevitable be taught by a homely housewife or a tedious Ramsay wannabe, but not his. He gets a stud with veiny forearms, high cheekbones, and narrowed eyes that made Laxus shiver.

He couldn't justify it, but Laxus was inclined to blame his grandfather for that.

"There's a bench up here, if you'd like to take it," The teacher said, motioning towards one of the cooking stations at the front of the room. Laxus cringed; even in school, he'd been one of the kids who sat at the back. That wasn't a habit he was ready to lose.

"I'd rather stay here, if it's all the same to you," Laxus mumbled, annoyed at himself for not speaking clearly. There was something about teachers that just… what did you call someone who intimidated you but also kind of excited you at the same time?

God, this was going to be awful.

"And I prefer it if my students arrived to my lessons on time," The teacher smirked a little, and Laxus almost stuttered in search of a reply. "And, as tends to happen with a student who shows up late on the first day, you'll likely act out further. As such, I want you close by so I can keep you on the straight and narrow," He tapped his finger on the surface twice. "This counter, please."

Though only a few steps, the walk to the counter at the front of the room was humiliating, it served to make the asshole teacher appear less hot, if nothing else. Because Laxus definitely did not like a man who knew how to be firm with him.

This was going to be hell, wasn't it?

At his assigned counter, Laxus felt a little lost. Nestled in the ingredients was a recipie - they were making pizza, apparently - and Laxus slightly found himself floundering. The cooking lessons weren't just to make him more sociable; he had no idea how to cook.

The teacher, who was looking at him from behind his work surface, sighed and approached Laxus. In his hand, he held a chopping board with what appeared to be a large mound of dough. He placed it before Laxus, who drowned down at it.

"Normally I would have taught you how to make dough yourself, but my plan's require the full hour," The teacher said, as if that was an explanation. "Rather than you lagging behind and not getting the whole experience, you should start from the same point everyone else is at. So put yourself to work and start to kneed this. It'll require a few more minutes to get to the right consistency."

Laxus looked down at the dough, grinding his teeth. Kneeding was rubbing it, right? And occasionally you punch it? That didn't sound right.

"Like this," The teacher said, pulling the chopping board towards him. He started to kneed the dough - it wasn't what Laxus thought it was - and the attraction came back with a sudden force. God dammit, why did his sleeves have to hug his biceps like that? That just wasn't fair.

The dough was pushed towards him again, and Laxus rolled up his sleeves and started to emulate what the teacher had done. The teacher didn't leave, and Laxus squirmed a little under, and found himself speaking to fill the silence.

"I ain't gonna learn, y'know," His mouth said before his brain could intercept. "Don't give a shit about cooking."

That a'boy Laxus. Turn up late, fail at a basic thing, and insult the guy's career. Real classy.

"You will." The teacher said, as if it were undeniable.

"I will?" Laxus scoffed.

"You will," The teacher repeated, smirking, "Once you realise what a good home cooked meal taste like, you'll be desperate to learn what else you can do."

"You seem awfully confident about that…" He drifted off; he didn't even know the damn guys name,

"Freed," The teacher supplied. "And I am confident. You'll love cooking by the end of it. I'm sure."

"You talk a big game," Laxus chuckled a little. He almost forgot he was kneeding the dough, but Freed looked down at his hands and grinned a little, which got Laxus to pause. Just because he was kneeding dough it didn't mean he cared; it was basically a workout. That was all, and Freed needed to know that. "If you're that sure, then I'm gonna insist you eat everything I make, no matter how shitty it turns out to be."

"So long as you don't sabotage yourself on purpose, I can agree to that."

Well, Laxus had slightly wanted to make Freed eat combinations of food that tasted like crap, but this could work. Laxus really was that bad of a cook, Freed might not be able to know the difference.

"Deal," Laxus nodded, offering Freed a hand to shake. The chef did so immediately, with a firm squeeze and… oh damn, those veins!

——

Week Two - Curry

Laxus had been right. Even putting in the effort and following the recipie as best he could, he was still a shitty cook. Unless, of course, a curry was meant to be accompanied by a waft of dark, burning smoke when you opened up the oven. Laxus coughed a little as he removed the dish from the oven, placing it on the counter top while shutting the oven door with his foot,

Freed was storming over immediately, flapping at the smoke with a dish towel and immediately turnoff the extractor fan on to suck up the smoke before it reached the detector. He had previously been working with a pink haired bastard, who was snickering at Laxus' failure. Asshole.

"What on earth did you do to it?" Freed demanded, more confused than angry.

"I followed her recipe," Laxus retorted indignantly. "Can't blame me."

"Everyone else has the same recipe and they've managed fine," Freed muttered under his breath. "Explain to me what happened."

Laxus bit down the instinct to tell Freed to choke on something, patronising ass that he was. He had made a deal with Freed the week prior that he would do what he could to make the most of the lessons, and he would enjoy knowing how to make a few meals, so admitting his mistakes was something that he would have to do. Even if it was to a smug, ego-centred teacher who Laxus could definitely take in a fight without breaking a sweat,

Maybe he should suggest some boxing lessons. Laxus had given up pro fighting the year before, but kept it up for fun. If Freed was acting like Laxus was stupid for not knowing the basics of cooking, Laxus would act like Freed was stupid when he didn't understand how to box.

Fantasising about punching Freed in the stomach - which was no doubt toned and sexy as hell - made talking through the process easier. Freed wore a slight frown, apparently not seeing anything wrong with what he had done. Laxus was about to boast that he was right, and that it was Freed's instructions that had gotten the burned pile of mush that filled the room with smoke, but Freed's expression turned to one of understanding when he looked at the oven,

"These work on Celsius, you set it as though you were using Fahrenheit," Freed explained. "You essentially nuked it."

Fuck. God-fucking-dammit!

He could have dealt with it if he was unable to do some cooking thing he'd never had to use before. But this? Misreading a piece of paper and setting the wrong temperature on the damn oven, how the hell had he managed to do that? It was humiliating! He was a grown ass adult, a retired sportsman who was forging a career to be respected. But an oven had made him look like an idiot who couldn't do anything for himself. Fucking brilliant.

With clenched fists, he rested against the workbench and leant on it with closed eyes. This was why he didn't do shit like this; he needed to keep in his lane and do what he was good at. Not cook, not have this weird hate-boner for his teacher. None of this.

"How soon after the class do you need to leave?" Freed asked, cutting through Laxus' spiralling thoughts. He frowned, but answered.

"Don't have any plans after."

"If we start again, we can have you finished ten minutes after class. That way it won't be an act of futility," Freed said, and rolled his damn sleeves up again. Thankfully he was moving around the counter, turning the oven down and fiddling with appliances fast enough to stop Laxus' eyes from lingering. "I can teach you how to spice things to your own tastes, as well. Normally that's next week, but I can advance you for your troubles."

"Advance me?" Laxus frowned. "Kinda need to be good at the basics first."

"You are, everything you said was correct. You made a small mistake that I should have noticed," Freed shrugged, walking to the counter he taught from and taking a box of ingredients to place on Laxus' desk. "I thought you'd learn better left to your own devices, and while I expect that was true, I shouldn't have left you alone. That was my mistake and as such, I'll amend it. We'll make a curry suited towards your tastes."

This was an olive branch, Laxus was sure of it. Freed had apparently noticed Laxus' shift of mood, and took the blame for Laxus' mistake. He was thankful of it, but it was still embarrassing.

Thankfully, a way of saving face had presented itself.

"I don't know if I can believe ya," He said with a small, somewhat forced smirk. "I mean, you don't have a record for keeping promises, do ya?"

"Don't I?"

"You told me you'd eat some of everything I made," Laxus shrugged, looking towards his pot of 'curry' that lay stagnant in the pot. It was grey, somehow. Food shouldn't be grey. "That was a lie."

Freed sighed, but didn't back down. He pulled a dessert spoon from one of the drawers, carefully scooped up some of the ruined mush and brought it towards his lips; damn they were pretty. He openly winced at the smell, swallowing preemptively as it got closer to his mouth. He glanced towards Laxus for a split second, who was watching him with crossed arms expectantly, and let out a resigned sigh. He opened his mouth, took in the spoon, then ate.

First he gagged, then he coughed, then he struggled to swallow. Even though Laxus had worked hard, and a small part of him thought Freed was exaggerating, he laughed at the reaction. Freed was fighting to keep the burned, disgusting food down. Once completely swallowed, he turned to Laxus with a wince.

"Delicious," He lied, trying to hide how thoroughly unhappy he was.

"If that's the case, there's plenty more," Laxus smirked, and Freed actually winced. That, of course, spurred Laxus on further. This was more fun than cooking. "Eat up, I don't mind."

Freed seemed to think for a moment, before standing up straight, rolling his back, and doing something Laxus never would have expected. He pulled out a plate and a ladle, scooped a portion large enough to fill two fully grown adults would struggle to finish no matter what the taste, and placed it on the countertop as if it was something to be proud of.

"A deal," Freed proposed. "I want to teach you one on one for the rest of the session. No distractions, no changing the subject, simply me telling you how to cook. Essentially, until you've cooked something successfully, I want your full attention."

Laxus nearly scoffed, Freed already had that. Instead, he said: "What's my 'delicious' curry got to do with that."

"If you make an attempt to distract me, to get out of lessons in some way, or continue with the mindset that this course is not suited to you, then for the rest of your time learning under me, you'll stay after class and clean everyone's dishes until I'm satisfied with the result."

Laxus winced a little. "And if I don't do any of that."

"I'll eat all of this," He motioned to the plate of ruined food. "And you may watch me do it."

Thinking for a moment, Laxus grinned. "Your funeral," He then glances at the food and winced. "Possibly literally."

Freed waved off the comment, stood beside Laxus with his new range of ingredients, and began explaining the basics of how to get a flavour you desired from your ingredients. On instinct Laxus wanted to taunt the man, suggesting the best way to get a flavour was with a take-out menu, but he managed to stop himself before the words slipped out. Mainly it was to avoid four weeks of dish washing, but also because he hasn't seen Freed like this. He was passionate when he spoke about cooking, and Laxus didn't want to ruin that.

And when Freed's arm slid against Laxus' as they moved, somehow at the same moment Freed looked at him with a genuine smile, Laxus felt shivers roll over him. This was… there were worse ways to spend a Thursday evening.

——

Week Three - Chicken Soup

"Y'know, if you're gonna make such a big deal about-" Laxus cut himself off. Holy shit.

He had been ready to blast into Freed about puntuality. Laxus had gotten to the class on time, only to see that Freed was not there. Eight minutes into the lesson, the door had opened, and Laxus was fully intending to lambast Freed about how much of a big deal it was when Laxus was late, and yet Freed was just as bad. He only stopped when he saw the state Freed was in. Because dammit, the man was drenched to the bone.

What the hell had happened to him? Sure it was raining, but Laxus knew he had a car, and surely the walk from the parking lot to the building hadn't been that bad. He looked like he'd gotten into a fight with a lake and lost.

"Everyone to your work stations please," Freed instructed, removing his coat as he walked to the front of the class. "I apologise for being late, but it shouldn't be too much of an imposition if we all focus."

Laxus was focusing. Focusing on the fact Freed's white shirt was clinging to his chest, showing off strong pecs and the taunting glimpse of a six-pack. It was a temp tight sight, and far too indecent for a classroom setting.

He shook his thoughts away. He needed to focus, because last week's lesson had proved a lot of things. One: Freed was willing to eat a whole plate full of disgusting food to prove a point, which wasn't relevant but Laxus still thought funny to think about him gagging and going green. Two: Freed was actually a damn good teacher, he just apparently hadn't know what Laxus needed from him until the latter half of the class. Three: Laxus actually could cook, if taught well. Because the second curry he'd made was indescribable, and it had tasted just as good when Laxus had cooked it two nights prior.

So, the lessons were actually working, and Laxus decided he was going to fully allow himself to be a student. Groping the teacher with his eyes wasn't going to help that, so Laxus remained quiet and let Freed explain the lesson.

To learn how to flavour things correct, they would all be making a series of different soups throughout the hour. Five basic recipes has been placed on their workspaces, and an entire array of spices, ingredients and flavourings had been scattered through the room. The point of the exercise was to follow the recipes, but also put other ingredients into their soups while doing it so that they can experiment with flavours. It was pretty smart, and Laxus felt like he had an advantage given Freed's impromptu lesson with spices the week before.

Once Freed stopped talking, they began cooking, and Laxus felt oddly confident in himself.

About ten minutes into the exercise, Freed made his way to Laxus' workstation. Wordlessly, he picked up a plastic ladle and scooped out a small amount of the soup Laxus had cooking. Laxus watched with only a small amount of anticipation as Freed brought the soup to his lips and swallowed it, and didn't focus on the flipping of his stomach as Freed smiled at him.

"It's very good," he praised, and Laxus did not preen at the words.

"Thanks," He muttered instead. "Any advice?"

Freed smiled a little at the request, placing the ladle in the small sink. "I'd use sea salt from now on, it'll bring out the flavour of the chicken more. But your instincts have served you well, it works very well together."

"Oh, thanks," Laxus mumbled awkwardly, and Freed didn't help by leaning over the table to look at Laxus' recipe, bring their faces far too close. Thank god the heat of the room has fixed the slight transparency of Freed's shirt, because knowing about the body below the clothes was tempting enough with him this close. If he could see the man's body, he might explode.

"You've put everything you've added onto this, haven't you?" Freed asked, tapping the recipe that had Laxus notes covering it. Laxus nodded weakly. "Then, if you can recreate it as it is now,I then it's time to experiment. Pick something at random to add and see what it tastes like. If it's bad, remake what you've already done."

"Anything huh?" Laxus quirked a brow. "You know you have to eat it, right? You wanna give me this much freedom after last week?"

"So long as you choose your ingredients thinking it will taste good, I'll uphold my agreement," Freed shrugged. "Though I must admit, I'd prefer not to spend the night with stomach cramps and a bucket beside my bed again, if avoidable."

Laxus barked out a laugh. "Kinda thought I'd killed ya when you didn't show up on time. What happened?"

"My car's broken down," Freed explained, looking over the herbs Laxus had added. "It took longer to get here than I expected."

"You walked in this?" Laxus glanced towards the heavy rainfall beating down on the windows.

"Indeed," Freed nodded. "Not my smartest decision."

Laxus winced a little at a roll of thunder exploded outside, apparently trying to make sure Freed knew just how stupid his decision had been. Freed didn't seem too bothered by it, though, and instead walked towards the old woman who worked behind Laxus, tasting her version of tomato soup and giving her advice on how to give it an extra kick.

The rest of the lesson continued on like that. Freed would work his way around the room, helping where he could. Laxus experimented on his soup, finding parmasean to be the missing ingredient.

Freed actually licked his damn lips after trying that. Did he know what he was doing to Laxus?

Once the lesson was over, the storm still lighting up the sky, Laxus walked to the door of the rec-centre. Freed was lingering there, wrapped up in a large red coat and clearly not looking forward to his walk home. Laxus understood that; the rain was so hard it probably would hurt to be under it.

"I'll drive ya home," Laxus said, his tone not leaving room to argue.

"What?" Freed asked. "No, that's not-"

"Didn't give you a choice, did I?" Laxus crossed his arms.

"You intend to kidnap me?" Freed joked.

"Yeah," Laxus nodded. "If you walk out in that, you're gonna get sick for no reason other than your own stubbornness. If that happens, the. Eat I can do for you is give you the recipe for this," he patted the container of chicken soup he held, "but I kinda think driving you might make more sense."

Freed considerd before speaking. "I insist on paying for gas, at least."

"Course you will, I ain't a cheap date."

The words came before Laxus could stop himself, and a flush of worry spread through him. Freed simply laughed, murmured a teasing "I expect not," and walked towards the door. He held it open for Laxus to walk through, and with a small grin, Laxus did so, with Freed by his side.

When the rain hit them, Laxus didn't care, and it certainly didn't diminish the silly smile that he hoped Freed couldn't see.

——

Week Four - Meringues

"What are you looking at, Laxus?"

Freed seemed amused as he spoke, and he walked towards Laxus' working area. Laxus had been trying to catch his teacher's eye for around a minute, with probably a stupid little grin on his face. He couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed about being caught out.

The drive home with Freed has been a long one - thirty minutes in the car; how long would it have been if he'd walked! - and they'd talked throughout. Laxus had learned that, until recently, Freed had been a professional chef for the TV show 'Sabertooth Chefs', a cooking competition watched by millions. He was off camera, making the meals that the celebrity judges claimed they had cooked to use as an example for their contestants. Apparently he quit because of a lack of passion.

That, and apparently Rufus Lore - the judge he cooked for - was obnoxious and could barely bake a loaf of bread if left on his own.

Laxus spoke about his own life. How he'd felt obligated to quit his pro-boxing career after a nasty head wound that resulted in his scar. How he was now a freelance writer who did sports analysis for some of the sports magazines and websites. Freed had seemed impressed, and claimed he'd watch out for his work.

They were closer now, and as such Laxus felt comfortable joking with him.

"I've got a question," he said when Freed was close. "You said you'd taste everything I cook, right? Well, for food, tasting something means you're experiencing it, right?"

"I suppose," Freed agreed, though seemed to know he was walking into a trap.

"Well, with meringues, you showed us that trick, right," Laxus smirked. "Where if you've made it correctly, you can turn the bowl over and the mixture won't fall out."

"Yes," Freed was wary now.

"Well, you also said for the best experience," he put emphasis on the word, "then you tip it up over your head. If you've done it right, it stays in the bowl. If you ain't, it covers ya."

"I did say that," Freed muttered.

"Well, if you're gonna experience everything I make, surely you should do it." He smirked; and pushed the bowel of mixture towards him.

Freed looked down, resignedly.

Then he perked up and reached into his pocket, pulling out a coin. He flipped it with flair and caught it, covering it before either of them could see the result.

"Heads or tails?" He requested, and Laxus chuckled.

"Heads."

Freed removed his hand, and Laxus let out a cry of triumph. He nudged the bowel towards Freed, grinning wide and ridiculous as Freed openly sighed. Laxus crossed his arms to hurry the man up, and it seemed to work.

With quick, resigned movements, Freed lifted the bowel. The thick white mixture jiggled slightly, and Freed turned it upside down above his head before he could stop himself.

And… it stayed in place.

For a moment, Freed seemed to be wincing in anticipation, before a look of triumph flooded onto his face. He turned the bowel back over and placed it on the counter.

"Kinda anticlimactic," Laxus said, picking up a spoon.

"But it means you did it correctly," Freed smiled. "You can take solace in that."

"Guess so," Laxus nodded. "Or I could do this."

With neither showmanship nor hesitation, Laxus used the spoon so scoop a dollop of the mixture up and flicked it towards Freed's face. For a moment, all Freed could do was blink, and Laxus burst into stifled laughter.

It had splattered over his lips, nose, and left cheek. Equal parts ridiculous and oddly attractive.

"Mister Dreyar," Freed spoke calmly, but he was trying to hide a smile. "I will be seeing you after class."

He turned away. Laxus snickered.

Although it was tempting to be a dick for the rest of the lesson, Laxus behaved himself. This was the only lesson that they did on desserts, and Laxus wanted to learn. That, and he felt Freed wasn't going to take his little prank lying down, so he probably shouldn't piss him off further.

When everyone else was gone, and Laxus was left alone with Freed, there was a moment of quiet. He motioned for Laxus to approach the desk. Laxus did so.

He was hit in the face by a spurt of ketchup.

It continued, splattering across his face. He gasped, and Freed apparently aimed for his mouth at the moment. It was a stupid moment, not helped by the noise the bottle was making, and eventually the spray died out.

Neither man spoke for a moment.

They both started laughing at the same time, and Freed handed Laxus a napkin to clean himself with.

"You're an asshole, you know that right?" Laxus said with mirth in his voice. "You still got the balls to want a ride from me again?"

"Is the offer still available?" Freed chuckled.

"Sure, just as long as you don't mind me getting some glue and those decorative feather things from a store on the way back," Laxus smirked. "There's a smug asshole who needs to be tarred and fathered."

"Perhaps I'll get the bus," Freed grinned, then frowned a little. Perhaps without thinking, he reached up and stroked Laxus' cheek to rid it of a remaking fleck of sauce.

They both halted, frozen for a moment, and Laxus' mind was set alight. In that moment he knew one thing for sure; he couldn't let Freed go.

——

Week Five - Solyanka

"That will be all for our time together," Freed said, standing at the front of the class. "I hope you all enjoyed your time together, and that you've all learned something. At the risk of promoting myself, I have other courses available that last longer and offer more flexibility with what you'll cook, if you want to further your culinary pursuits. If not, then it was a pleasure working with you all, and I wish you well in your endeavours."

It was weird seeing Freed using his teaching voice; the things he said weren't Freed-like. It was kind of funny.

Laxus hung back when the rest of the class funnelled out. Some of them spoke to Freed before leaving, orbits just left, but Laxus decided to hang back and wait. As he did, he pulled out a small plastic tub from a bag he'd brought with him, waiting for Freed to take note. Once everyone was gone, Freed saw him still standing at the end of his cooking surface.

"Laxus," He said, and he seemed pleased Laxus was still there. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just wasn't ready to leave yet," Laxus passed it off as a joke, but the stopped himself. "I, Erm, well, there's this recipe my family's been making for years. Generations, actually. Just wanted to know what you think."

"You want me to critique a family recipe?" Freed frowned.

No. No he didn't. He wanted to share something with Freed that was important to Freed. It was ridiculous to think, but this old Russian dish was something he had loved for his life, and he wanted Freed to love it too. It seemed stupid now he was thinking about it, but they only really had food in common right now, and Laxus felt like it was his turn to add something to the conversation.

"It's called Solyanka," Laxus said instead of answering the question. "It's a soup. For sausages, olives, cabbage. A lot of things, really."

Laxus didn't say anything else, and picked out a pot from the cupboards to place on the stove. He emptied the contents of the container into the pot and stated to bear it up.

"It tastes better when it's not been reheated but-"

"It smells beautiful," Freed said, cutting through Laxus' backtracking. "And I'm sure it will taste just as good."

"Thanks," Laxus mumbled a little.

As they waited for the soup to heat, there was a comfortable quiet between them both. Freed seemed engrossed in the cooking - the growing scent, the occasional stirring - and it gave Laxus the chance to watch him. He had known Freed was hot from the moment he'd seen him, but he was also fucking beautiful. His hair was pulled out and flowing over his shoulders, and his expression was calm and relaxed.

Laxus was glad he had done this, suddenly. He would have regretted it. This couldn't be the end of his relationship with Freed; it just couldn't.

He went to speak, but Freed went first.

"I think it's time to take it off the heat," He said gently, as if wanting to avoid offending Laxus by telling him how to cook his meal. Laxus quickly removed the pot from the heat.

With now familiar movements, Laxus pulled out two bowls and poured them both a portion. Laxus sat on one of the stools, waiting a little nervously as he saw Freed spoon some of the soup up and take it into his mouth.

"Wow," Freed whispered. "It's incredible."

Pride bloomed inside Laxus, and he didn't tamper it down. This piece of Laxus had pleased Freed. It had made Freed smile such a brilliant smile that it was like a shot to the heart. He was speechless, and Freed spoke again.

"You're incredible, Laxus," he said with equal sincerity.

"What?" Laxus frowned slightly.

"You're incredible, Laxus," Freed repeated, smiling now. "You've made these five weeks remarkably fun for me, and I'm sad to see you go."

"I'm sad to be going," Laxus mumbled, unused to speaking honestly about these kinds of things. "These have been… the best part of my week."

"Mine too," Freed admitted, and the words sent lighting throughout him.

There had been a small part of Laxus that had thought it had been in his head. He felt like he and Freed had been steadily growing closer and closer, in a way that couldn't exactly be called platonic. It felt like this was the moment where a choice had to be made. Laxus could either hide from his feelings, as he had often done in his life, or he could take the dive. Just like he'd done when he had quit his job. Just like he'd done when he'd come to the class in the first place. Just like he should have been doing all his life.

Freed was going to speak, but the urge to act overtook Laxus and he moved before it could dwindle. He launched himself toward, took Freed by the back of the neck, and kissed him.

It wasn't perfect, but the imperfection made it better.

The feeling of the desk jutting into his hip might have been a bother, but it was nothing compared the the brilliance of soft lips moving against his own.

The lingering spice on Freed's tongue could have been a distraction, but it only added to the searing sensation flying through him.

The scent of Laxus' Solyanka might have drawn focus, but instead it nudged with Freed's cologne and created a beautiful feeling of mingled familiarity and uniqueness.

This was the type of kiss that was unforgettable.

Freed's hand was grazing the back of Laxus' neck, scratching at the usually untouched skin in a way Laxus was tempted to put at. He smiled a dopey smile, leaning further into the kiss.

When they pulled apart, breathless and smiling, they couldn't look away from each other.

"Don't know how this works with a chef," Laxus began in a whisper. "Don't wanna offend your sense of pride, but d'you maybe wanna get a bite to eat some place?"

For a stagnant second, that felt like an eternity to Laxus, Freed didn't say anything.

"I'd love that," Freed nodded a little, though his head still rested against Laxus'. "So long as you don't mind me critiquing everything?"

The joke was trumped by the honesty in his voice. Freed really wanted it!

"I can deal with that."

They shared a quiet, private smile. One that promised excitement, passion, and if Laxus allowed himself to be optimistic, perhaps a future as well.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Too Cheesy

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: Sickening fluff and insanely cheesy pick up lines.

Summary- Ned agrees to stay at Peter's house and help him find the perfect pickup line to ask out his crush with before spring break. But what happens when his crush tags along and also wants to help? ---------------------------------------

"Nah Peter, too corny."

Peter Parker was standing in the middle of his room, his best friend Ned sitting on his bed, cradling their death star in his hands. Peter scrolled down the screen of his phone. "Okay, how about this one?" After reading, Peter looked to the wall and gave a smug smirk, as if he were actually looking at someone. "Hey [Y/N]... are you religious? 'Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers."

Ned cocked his head to the side. "Is she religious?"

"I dunno, I never really asked before," Peter answered, breaking out of his assumed position.

Ned scrunched his nose a bit. "Well, we probably should stay off of religious pick-up lines then."

"Right," Peter agreed, looking back to his phone again. He scrolled a bit more. When satisfied, he looked up at the wall again, raised his eyebrows with an award winning smile before he recited another.

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless."

"Wow..," Ned said. He pointed and nodded slowly. "I think that's a keeper. Try it again just to make sure though. Oh- and this time, make it more personal."

"Okay," Peter said, going back over the line in his head. He assumed the position and instead of a smug, gave a small smolder.

"Wait," Ned interrupted. "Does this one even make sense? I mean- a pencil still has a point even when it's broken, right? Unless, of course, it's the bottom half, but that would only work if it's a clean break. A-and-"

Suddenly, realizing how completely ridiculous he must look, Peter grimaced. "Ned, why're we doing this again?!"

Ned rolled his eyes. "C'mon Pete. It's because pickup lines always work!"

"A-are you sure? Cuz that doesn't sound right."

"Dude, I'm telling you," Ned defended. "I saw Flash walk right up to Sydney and gave her the perfect pickup line and he immediately got a date! Flash of all people! If he can, you certainly can!"

Peter rolled his eyes. Ned was seriously comparing him to Flash? There were tons of reasons as to how Flash got with Sydney. "But Flash is popular and rich and stuff... I'm just me."

Ned scoffed. "Well..." He looked up with a carefree smile. "If it makes you feel any better, if I were a girl, I'd totally date you."

"..thanks..." Peter said, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. He looked around the room with a nervous chuckle. Ned, apparently not realizing the awkwardness in the room, hasn't looked away and continued to smile at his friend.

Finding his voice, Peter spoke up. "So, um, what was Flash's line anyway?"

"Uh-uh man," Ned answered. "You gotta find your own! Sydney probably already told the whole school, so you'd just be a copycat. Your line needs to be original."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "We're literally looking this stuff up from the internet, Ned! That's not original!"

"Just trust me. Now read another."

"Okay..." Peter begrudgingly agreed. He was regretting this whole thing more and more each second. He took a deep breath and recited his next one.

"[Y/N], my love for you is like dividing by zero– it can't be defined."

He looked to Ned, who was silently contemplating the words.

"...I kinda like it," Ned finally said.

"I don't know," the scrawny teenager sighed, throwing his phone onto his bed. "It needs to be really good! Not mediocre. Tomorrow is my only chance to tell [Y/N] how I feel before spring break starts. I can't back out!"

"Pete, relax. We'll just add it to the list. Now do another-"

"Peter!!! [Y/N]'s here!!!"

The two teenagers froze. Their eyes widened at his aunt May's voice. They looked to the door, then to each other.

"What is she doing here?!?!," Peter whisper-shouted, two seconds from panicking.

"It's your apartment, you tell me!," Ned whispered back, arms flailing wildly.

"She can't be here!," he yelled to himself, pointing towards the door you could be walking through any second now. "She can NOT be here!"

The two quietly went back and forth as you came closer to his room. Normally, you were always more than welcome. But today, unbeknownst to you, Peter's home was probably the one place you definitely shouldn't be.

You poked your head around the doorframe. "Heyyyy fellas!"

They froze, looking to you with their mouths zipped shut. "Why so tense?," you asked, a small smile playing on your lips.

"No reason!," Peter yelled.

"Hey [Y/N]." Ned gave a wide smile.

You return it with a wider smile that certainly betrayed the rest of your face, that held only confusion. "Uh, what's going on, guys??"

They looked to each other, then to you, then to each other again. Ned broke away first this time. "Peter's trying to find a pick-up line to tell his crush was tomorrow!," he spat out quickly, earning an excited gasp from you.

Peter's jaw stopped to the floor. If he were a computer, he would've definitely been crashing right now. "What the hell, Ned?!," he practically screamed, his voice cracking a bit before he covered his face with his hands.

"So, whose the girl?," you asked, pushing through them and climbing onto the top bunk to sit.

"Uh-"

"DON'T. SAY. ANYTHING!," Peter hissed out through gritted teeth.

It didn't take you too long to realize the tension in the room. "Uh, should I come back another time or something?"

"That would be ideal," Peter mumbled under his breath.

Your eyebrows scrunched together in annoyance. Why were they being so weird and vague?

"Okay, did I do something? Is that why you're acting so weird, Pete? I mean, I was gonna try to help you out so you won't make a complete fool of yourself in front of this girl, but-"

Ned dropped the death star as he excitedly clapped his hands together. "That'd be perfect, actually!!"

Both you and Peter groaned as you looked at the peices on the floor. "Ned!"

"At this point that thing needs to stay at my house cuz when it's at either of yours it always breaks!," you laughed.

"Umm..." Peter looked away and took a deep breath. "[Y/N]?"

At this point, he had no idea nor any control over what was going on and the only words processing in his mind were what the fuck.

His crush was not supposed to be here while he was practicing what to say to his crush tomorrow.

"Yeah, Pete?"

But you were here now, and you didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon.

So what's the worse that could happen?

"C-could you maybe, um, help me with this?"

"With your girl problems? Sure. I mean, if we leave it your hands, the poor girl won't even know what hits her."

Ned bit his lip, attempting (and failing) to hide a fit of laughter. "She sure won't!"

"Dude!," Peter hissed, nudging his shoulder.

"So what've you got so far?," you said, watching Peter expectantly.

"Uhh.." He blew out a heavy breath. Welp, he thought. Guess we're doing this now. He picked up his phone and awkwardly read off the line.

"My love for you is like dividing by zero– it can't be defined.."

He looked back up at you, frozen as statue. That was so embarrassing. You smiled and giggled a little. "That was so cheesy!"

"Oh..," Peter mumbled. He'd actually thought that one was pretty good.

"That's only because he's not doing it like he did a second ago," Ned, ever the oblivious one, noted. "C'mon! Do it the way you did it before [Y/N] came in here."

If looks could kill, Ned would surely have been maimed and then ran over a bus by now.

Peter sighed. He looked up to the wall right above where [Y/N] was sitting and gave his best smolder.

But before he could get a word out, laughter erupted the room. "PETE WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!," [Y/N] shrieked, practically falling off the the top bunk of the bed with laughter. "Girls' want a genuine smile, not some James Bond wannabe look!"

"Y-you don't think it looks cool?," he asked, cheeks red as beets by now.

"Frickin' goofy is what that looks like!," she responded. "Gimme your phone."

Peter's face fell. Wow, he thought. I'm way off. No way I'm gonna get her now, except...He looked to Ned, who was practically just spectating the whole thing at this point. Their eyes joined, and they could both tell they'd come to the same conclusion.

What better way to find out exactly what to say than by finding out by who you're going to say it to?

[Y/N] scrolled down a few until she found one that she liked. "Ooh, this one's pretty good." She looked up from the phone. "Now, watch me and I'll show you how it's done." She hopped down from the bed and said the line straight to Peter's face, biting her lip and smirking.

"Hey you, apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"

Immediately afterwards, she broke out of it. "See?," she asked. "That's how it's done." [Y/N] tossed the phone back into Peter's hands before sitting back down. "Now do that."

Peter sucked in a quick breath, lightly tugging the bottom of his gray shirt. "U-uh, um, yeah okay.."

That was hot, was all he could really think at the moment. She's so frickin hot.

Scatterbrained, he stood and looked back at you. "U-uh.. -oh, here's one..." He shook his head slightly, as if attempting to shake the jitters out. "A-are you a cam-mera? C-cuz.. you sure do make me sm-mile," he stammered, ending with beyond awkward fingers guns.

[Y/N] chuckled, biting back a small smile. "Ya know, you're just too cute sometimes..."

At that, Ned's jaw fell to the floor. Peter's face turned a shade of red you didn't believe was even possible.

"Uh, u-um, ah, heh, thanks..."

"Hey yo, my mom's texting me," Ned suddenly announced. "I gotta get home. See you two tomorrow." He smiled at [Y/N] and then looked Peter square in the face with a shit-eating grin. "And good luck Pete!," he said, earning a middle finger from his best friend.

After the door closed, [Y/N] frowned. "What's up with you two? Are you guys fighting?"

"Nah, Ned's just being..." Peter trailed off, shaking his head slightly. If he were to elaborate, he could risk telling you. Better to play it safe. "So was that one good?"

"I mean, it'd be nice if you could g-g-g-get it out!," you mocked with a smile.

"No stuttering then," he concluded to himself. "Stuttering's a turn off."

"Well, not exactly," you corrected. "I actually think it's kinda cute when you do it." Noticing his intense blushing, you grabbed his hands to give comfort. "Just relax. No stuttering. And keep eye contact. Got it, Pete?"

His cheeks reddened as he looked away, desperately trying to redirect his focus from your turned up lips. "Oh, u-uh um, thanks! That's great, ya know! L-lets, ah, just get back to the th-thing- uh, the line..."

And so you did. You helped him til eleven o'clock at night. You went over about fifty. Until there was no way he couldn't have a perfect one to show the girl.

Until the next morning.

Spoiler alert: he didn't find a line.

When you left the indecisive teenager, he'd looked like he was on the right path. He had an entire list of good choices you'd picked out with him, along with practiced ways to do each one.

But, when he woke up and looked back at the list, each one just felt wrong.

Cheesy.

Overused.

Corny.

Lame.

You wouldn't like it. You'd already heard it. It wouldn't feel special to you if he'd told you something you'd already picked out for yourself, even if you didn't know you had.

You'd reject him. And more? Because you were a nice person, you'd probably still want to be friends.

Which was definitely way, way worse.

"Peter!," May yelled. "Engine's being turned on in five! Be there or you'll have to swing to school!"

-

Perer told you he'd tell his crush the line by the lockers during homeroom.

You couldn't wait. 'This is gonna be so awesome,' you thought, scanning the halls for his curly brown hair and wrinkled jacket.

'Of course, this girl better be worth his time or I'm gonna frickin' tackle her....'

The night before, Peter had told you nearly everything about this mystery girl.

He gushed about how she was perfect. Beautiful. Everything he ever wanted.

And you felt happy for him.

But deep inside, you knew that whoever the girl he'd chosen was, you wouldn't approve. Because deep down, you wished that it would be you.

But you and Peter were friends. Since the sixth grade. If anything was ever gonna happen, it surely already would've.

And It wasn't gonna happen...

And when this girl said yes (it's Peter Parker, why wouldn't you?), you'd have to watch them hug, kiss, give inside jokes, and everything else couples did.

And because he was your best friend, you'd have to just sit there and be happy for him.

"Miss. [Y/L/N]. Come on, get to class!," your homeroom teacher yelled, standing by the door, holding it open for you to walk into the classroom.

"Must be late again...," you mumbled, looking around the halls for Peter one last time before making your way to the door.

"[Y/N]!"

You whipped your head to where the voice was coming from. It was Ned, running down the hallway.

"Yeah?"

"He's gonna do it!," he yelled. "He's about to ask!"

You turned towards your teacher. "Um, can I go to the restroom please?"

"Yeah sure," the teacher replied.

Once the door closed, you ran to meet Ned in the middle of the hall. "Ask? Wait, on a date or to actually be his girlfriend?"

"TO BE HIS GIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLLLFRIEND!!," he yelled, shaking you by your shoulders back and forth frantically.

'Wow,' you thought, eyes wide. 'Peter's actually getting some balls now.'

This was it. And you were gonna hold your tongue and watch it happen.

Ned looked over your shoulder as he practically gasped for air. "He's coming! He's coming!"

You pulled his arm a bit, attempting to pull him to towards the wall. "Don't we need to hide? They don't need an audience!"

Suddenly, using his strength against you, Ned turned you around quickly for you to come face to face with Peter.

"Where's the girl?," you said, looking around curiously. After you were met with silence, your curious smile went away. "Pete, where is she? Where's she at?"

"I-it's...um, [Y/N] it's always been-heh. It's you," he answered, looking into your eyes shyly.

Ned could've bursts from joy right then and there. You could feel his grip on your arms tighten out of excitement.

But you didn't care, because you were sky high yourself. "So all that, yesterday? That was all about-"

"Yeah. You."

You sighed, practically frozen. "Major fucking plot twist, dude.."

He tilted his head. "'Saw' level?"

"More like 'Shutter Island' level," you answered.

"Ooh, that was a big one," Ned added brightly.

You shifted slightly. "So, um, what was the line you chose?"

"Oh!," Peter laughed. "How could I forget? Uh-" He grabbed your hands gently. "Okay." Hey blew out a long breath. "Relaxing. No stuttering. And keeping eye contact," he reminded himself aloud before he slowly and tenderly recited the line he'd chosen.

"[Y/N], ahem, um, If I had a penny for every time I thought about you, I'd have exactly one cent.."

You frowned. "Hold on, I don't get it. That means-"

"-Because you never leave my mind, sweetheart."

Raising your eyebrows, your heart warmed and you covered your hand over your mouth. That was one you hadn't chosen. You'd never even heard it before. He'd found it himself.

Noticing your reaction, Peter tensed. "W-was that too much? I'm sorry if that was too much! The last thing I would want for it to be is too-"

"That was perfect, Peter."

He paused. "It wasn't too cheesy?"

"Just a little cheesy," you said, pinching your fingers together and giving a quick wink.

"On a scale of one to ten?," Ned asked.

"Ned!," Peter scolded, quickly sliding his finger over his neck as a warning. He then looked back to you with a timid smirk.

"So, ah, does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?"

"Hmm, I guess it does, huh?," you giggled and turned to walk away just as the bell rang for first period.

-

"Sooooo, how'd it go?," May asked, poking her head around the doorframe of Peter's room.

When Peter turned towards her from his bed, May knew the answer before he even uttered a word.

He was staring up at ceiling twiddling his fingers and grinning like a madman.

"She said yes, May..I-i didn't think she'd actually say yes!"

May smiled. "Well, that's good!"

"Our first date's tomorrow and- Oh God! I might need to find another line to tell her! I'll use the math one this time since she was so excited about acing that test earlier today. Oh my gosh what if- what if we kiss?! That'd be SO awesome! Right, May? Ooh man, what am I gonna wear?? Ned said to wear a tux. But it's just a movie date, not prom! Jeans and a t-shirt should work, right? What if I get there and I'm underdressed?! Why is this stuff so hard?!"

Aunt May watched as the young boy frantically vented to himself and shook her head. "God bless him..."

She looked down at his desk in the corner of his room. On it was a small journal. It was opened to a page labelled 'Pickup Lines To Tell [Y/N]'

Underneath it were lines separated into sections based on 'coolness,' 'nerdiness,' and 'sexiness.'

May furrowed her eyebrows. "Hon, you know pick-up lines never work, right?

"Well May," Peter sighed, leaning back into his bed. "There's a special girl out there that would beg to differ.."

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 5 "Pumpkin Patch" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

The theme was "Let Them Eat Cake," so my dad bought me this foreclosed McMansion down the street, and, like, 500 of my closest friends came dressed in 18th century attire, and, oh, the pool was filled with this, like, caviar slurry. And then at midnight, we just burnt the house down. When the firefighters came, they were actually strippers, and they put out the fire with champagne.

So walk me through this, honey.

Well, as you can see, every pumpkin in the patch is artisanal.

Then we move past the ice sculptures of demonic peeing cherubs, and yes, they will all be peeing vodka and Red Bull.

I'm sorry. Corn maze?

It's just that doing an exact replica maze from The Shining would have taken us way over budget on man power alone.

I told you money was no object.

Well, apparently, one of them died or something.

Do you have any idea what's at stake here?

Okay, well, it's not my fault that some guy died in the '70s.

I am tired of your sad-sack, I'm-a-total-downer-all-the-time schtick.

I'm over it!

Oh, my God, why are you so depressed?

Why do I have to be the homely one?

Just a second, nutbag.

God, do I have to spell it out for you?

You're a weird, psycho lunatic who's gonna end up in an asylum somewhere, staring at a wall, trying to nurse a watering can.

That's it! I can't take this anymore!

That is such a Mary Todd Lincoln thing to say.

You scream "I'm done with you" kind of a lot, and yet you're still standing here.

I think you know you have a good thing going.

You get to bask in my starlight as I do all the work and you get to grumble behind my back about how disrespected you are.

There's the door.

There's the door, bitch!

You did not deserve to be spoken to like that. Ever.

That is bollocks!

Clearly this fake kidnapping is a play to get the sympathy vote. So Gone Girl.

This is the biggest candle night of the year!

I hate you right now!

Halloween is the greatest night of the year. Greatest night. Because on this night, even kind of shy, kind of homely girls dress up like total sluts. I mean, every costume is just a slutty version of something. Slutty teacher, slutty nurse, slutty nun. I saw a girl last year dressed as slutty al-Qaeda!

See, Halloween it's a night for dudes with killer bods to walk around with our shirts off. And it's totally appropriate, as long as we call ourselves gladiators, Chippendales.

I have no idea how you got into this college.

Look, we'll just hang out and play charades!

This cannot be happening!

Hey, what about Black Hairy Tongue Disease? I mean, does nobody here care about Black Hairy Tongue?

What about my pumpkin patch?

I blame you for this.

[NAME], nice boobs.

Join me in saying you are not afraid!

Just baking some cookies for the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.

Uh, they're toenail cookies.

Pink fur coats worn in all weather, my idea. Flapper dresses made out of feathers, also my idea. Oversized sunglasses worn everywhere, my idea, my idea, my idea!

So why are you baking toenail cookies and giving them to children?

Okay, whose side are you on?

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I'm what you call

a "switch-hitter."

Wait, are you bisexual? Because that's what "switch-hitter" means.

Do you mean "double agent"?

What are you writing?

Do you know how big Halloween is in the candle community?

Is this an ant farm?

There's a mom ant, Deborah, who mostly just lies around and she has about 100 husband ants, who come around and give it to her good, which she really enjoys. And then there's about a million sterile daughter ants who feed her and are her slaves. So, an ideal family.

She'd win. And then I'd beg to be her second-in-command, while quietly pull the strings behind the scenes like Dick Cheney.

This plan involves a lot of circuitous logic.

Oh, my God! Those are, like, $100 each!

They're the highest quality candles that can be purchased retail.

What a brilliant and revolutionary idea.

Are you cheating?

This is a clear violation of the honor code.

You must be new here.

Who are you calling?

I'm gonna get you fired.

At least you wore something nice today.

Remember to smile for your mug shot.

I'm burping uncontrollably like Robert Durst.

They'll know I'm guilty!

I'm next in line and in charge here.

You can sum up my viewpoint on this with one word; indifference.

We are her only hope.

Sometimes, in order for a person to achieve their full potential, they have to do things on their own.

I am in charge here!

I love that you're a man.

This is the most sensual song ever written.

We need to do this right now!

I just saw her boobs.

Oh, a salad date is, it's like, it's more casual than dinner, but more formal than coffee.

Whose pants are these?

You know, you're a human being with feelings and needs, right?

Enough about me and my confusion and sad dead feeling inside.

It just really hurt my feelings.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure my so-called friends are the ones that turned me in so I'm just feeling, like, super alone right now.

Man, I am your biggest Instagram fan!

I just think you are a style genius.

I will never be able to repay you for the kindness you've shown me in here.

Besties for life, I say.

Your bail's been posted.

I knew you'd bail me out.

Can I just say what a relief it is to be able to share it with somebody and not feel judged?

You know, I mean, all my girlfriends are like, "That's immoral." "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

Ashamed? What the hell you got to be ashamed for?

You should be proud.

I could've lost my job.

I mean, it lasted, like, 45 seconds, and the whole time, it just felt like I was getting stabbed in the abdomen.

I tied him up and I kept my uniform on and proceeded

to read him his rights. My favorite being "You got the right to remain sexy."

Give me some!

You know he's sexy!

That was one of the best nights of my life.

Well, I've already contacted the police department, despite the fact that a person can't be considered "missing" until at least 72 hours has passed.

That's morbid.

I've already hired an investigator.

What, are you two a couple now?

What the hell are you doing?

You sold me down the river, bitch.

Wait, Gary Coleman's parents stole his kidneys?

I would never say that, because I'm pretty sure that never even happened.

Why does ratting me out sound like exactly something you would do?

You know, I've never thought of myself as a killer, but I am seriously considering ramming this pick into the back of your eye socket.

Maybe you'll get your head sawed off.

You have cameras in my room?

I have eyes everywhere, bitch.

The name of my future perfume is Revenge.

How is that something you just happen to know?

That is stupidest thing I've ever heard.

What's the password?

I just can't eat any more of these.

This ain't The Marriage Ref! This ain't Judge Joe Brown! We ain't on the Maury Show! We ain't standin' in line trying to get tickets to Dr. Phil! I am not Steve Harvey, people, and this ain't the Family Feud!

I'm tryin' to catch a killer.

Help me get the spy gear in the car!

How can you promise?

We're in a maze, you don't know where you're going!

I always knew it would come to this.

Why are we doing this right now?

I forgot the flashlights!

What am I supposed to do with this?

This is so creepy.

It smell like booty in here.

I'm getting a nervous feeling in my stomach.

I might start farting. If I cut some, you promise not to tell anyone?

Oh, my boob!

Stay where you are! I'll come and get you!

Ooh, this is nice.

It's really beautiful.

It looks like you just crossed some stuff out and wrote that in in marker.

Okay, can we talk about that for a second? Because it just happened a few hours ago, and I'm still really traumatized.

I need some cheering up right now.

Excuse me, darling, I'm exhausted.

Wait, we need to hear what happened to you.

Just wondering where you find a house with a pit. The market for them would be pretty limited.

Did you escape, or did you kill him?

I've always had a thing for bad boys.

That got way out of hand.

[its-the-love-shot-exo-writer]

Xiumin Smutty Fluff

For anon I hope you like it ❤

Xiumin kisses your neck and your heart starts beating faster. Even though you're in the privacy of his home you feel uneasy. It was never like that before. Being with Xiumin was the most comforting thing you'd ever experienced so why did that change?

Even Xiumin notices and quickly stops to look at you. “Are you okay?”

You consider saying something generic to end the conversation but you're confused. Let's face it you know what's bothering you but you don't know how to express your feelings to him. You've never been good at confrontation.

But eventually he's going to try to do more and then it will be even harder to stop him. “I'm sorry” you blurt out purely out of habit.

“Sorry about what, babe?” Xiumin looks clueless and a little worried.

You can't believe how much love he has to give. It's amazing the way you feel when he's around. Like everything is just perfect. It's just the way it should be. And that's what scares you the most. That when you go further he'll realize you're not worth the trouble. Sure he's sweet now but what if he sleeps with you and sees you're nothing more than a fluffy body with stretch marks and other things people consider ugly? What will you do when he sees you in that way?

“My body… it's not what you're used to,” you finally manage to say it. “It's not…I mean…”

“Okay stop,” Xiumin says and he looks a little furious. “You think just because I'm an idol I must be that shallow? Is that it?”

“That's not what I mean…”

“You think I've been going out with you for all this time for nothing? You know I could just go to the kind of person you think I want, right? Nothing is stopping me.”

“Then why? Why did you go out with someone like me?” the words you just blurted them out and you don't know how it happened but now you're also crying.

Xiumin pulls you to himself and puts his arms around you. “Baby, I fell for who you are,” he says. “That's who I want more than anything. There's only so many shallow one night stands you can take before you start feeling like shit. I wanted to be with a real person. A person who wasn't the same shallow brain and shallow heart that I always find. There's not a thing about you I'd change. And I don't know how you might take this but I think you're hot and no doubt sexy.”

You want to believe that. You just don't know if you should. But the sincerity in his eyes makes you feel a little secure again. “You mean that?”

Xiumin pulls you away to gaze into your eyes that are still filled with tears. “Stay and find out how hot this body of yours makes me.”

You know what he's doing and truly there's nothing you want more than to feel him, closer, deeper, for the rest of the night, and for all of eternity.

“There's just one more thing,” you say. “I'm still a virgin.”

At this Xiumin looks a little taken aback. “Oh.”

And there it is. The dreaded “Oh” which could mean anything from why is there something wrong with you to let's do this again some time literally translated to let's break up.

“If you want me to leave I'd totally understand,” you tell him.

“Why would I want you to leave?”

“I don't know, I figured I'd freaked you out enough for one day.”

Xiumin smiles. “I'm not going to lie, it's not ideal. I don't usually do that but I also don't date people like you so I don't think it's a problem. If you get super clingy after I'll love you even more! I love clingy people. In fact I can be pretty clingy myself.”

The adorable way he says it makes you grin. “I think I could live with you being super clingy as long as I'm the only one you're clingy with.”

“Are you sure you can handle that kind of clinginess? Who knows I might be bringing banana bread to you the next morning or maybe I'll take you out for ice-cream in the middle of your work day.”

“I think we can work something out…” before you get to finish your sentence Xiumin kisses you.

“I think I might be falling in love with you, Y/N.”

The sound of his innocent confession makes you confront some of your own feelings. Feelings that are similar to love.

You know in that moment if there's anyone in the world you want to take your virginity it's Xiumin.

That's when his mouth meets yours in a passionate kiss. The wetness of his mouth on yours, and Xiumin wraps his arms around you, pulling you tight into him.

The kiss becomes deeper, more primal. Xiumin moves his mouth to engulf your neck. Kissing and lightly biting his way along your neckline and collarbone. And then his hands slip inside your shirt. You moan as his hands reach everywhere, and when he's nuzzling and biting your ear lightly, his tongue tracing along your earlobe.

Oh god it feels so good! Your breath coming hard and fast and Xiumin grabs your hips and you're both making out heavily.

In no time you're both so excited it doesn't take Xiumin long to lead you to the bed and you willingly go in anticipation.

You both start undressing. Xiumin removes your panties, spreading your legs and you feel his fingers gently touching you with the lightest caress and your whole body responds by shivering. When he stops its only to pleasure you with his tongue.

You almost scream in ecstasy when he brings you close to an orgasm.

"Oh, fuck!" you blurt out. No one has ever done that for you. Suddenly your hands are tangled in Xiumin’s hair as you thrust your body against his face. When you grind your hips and thrust you can feel him getting more intense. Within moments you climax.

But Xiumin isn't about to let you go just yet. While you're still pretty sensitive he begins the cycle of licking and caressing until once again you're shivering in ecstasy.

He finally stops and goes up to you. “Do you want me to stop?” just the fact that he's asking makes you feel comfortable again and you realize that for once, all the insecurity you have about your own body didn't once bother you. Maybe because with him everything feels right.

“Keep going,” you can barely manage to speak.

"You have to wait a sec, I have to get a condom from the bathroom." Xiumin says and disappears into the bathroom.

When he comes back he starts kissing you passionately as your bodies meet.  

"Go slow please,” you say because you are still a little bit worried.

“I'll be gentle,” Xiumin says. “And you must be nice and slick now so it won't be that bad.”

Obviously he knows what he's doing so you decide to go with your instinct and trust him.

Your eyes remain locked with his as he slowly slides himself inside you. Xiumin and you were sharing something sacred, something beautiful.

Xiumin pushes gently, slowly increasing the pressure of his hips. Your body parts with a feeling like something gently tearing. For a brief moment it's painful and Xiumin pulls you close into himself and kisses you with deep passion.

Soon, his full length is inside you. Xiumin’s mouth is still hot on yours. Hes extremely slow, extremely gentle. Where he gets that kind of patience is beyond you.

When you're finally ready he starts to slowly push and pull his way in and out of you. Those mingled sighs stifled by the burning hot kiss you're sharing. You're moving together, your legs wrapped around Xiumin.

In no time you were as close as Xiumin was, you could tell.

He pumps slowly in and out of you, growing more excited as each of his thrusts brings you closer to climax. When you finally come you can feel him coming as well and you feel him thrust ever harder. He even makes a loud cry when he finally comes.

Finally spent, Xiumin collapses against you on the bed and wraps his arms around you, your hearts pounding, strong enough to feel through each other's chests. You feel it when he kisses you gently and you both lay exhausted next to each other for the rest of the night.