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menagerofmischief · 2 months ago

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Nugget Update (MV1)

sumary: y/n's always giddy after getting a nugget update, sure she loves her best boy, but it also has something to do with the cat sitter sending the updates

driver!reader x cat sitter!max verstappen -> habs incoming... series masterlist

cw: not fia approved words, a bit of lance hate (I don't actually hate him), mutual pinning, the grid teasing the reader, lot of appearances from the reader's cat, kissing, kinda mean!reader (to the grid)

wc: 4.1k

a/n: this is my first time writing in 2nd person so bear with me. also, I low key hate this and it may be shit. not proof read!

“Well aren’t you a ball of sunshine?” A voice called out, disturbing the peace - or the closest thing to peace you could have near a Formula 1 track.

Your gaze snapped up, eyes narrowing as you took in the man standing on the entry of the RedBull garage. “Hello, Charles,” you replied, a teasing bite obviously heard in your voice as you crossed your arms over your chest. “I know you wanted to experience what a successful garage looks like but I thought Ferrari had a better hold on you.”

Charles laughs, his eyes crinkling as his lips stretch into a smile. Teasing Charles was always a fun time but that’s all it was, just a bit of fun. It never stretched into something meaner, just two people showing affection by teasing each other.

Charles had been your very first real friend on the grid. The first to offer his hand with a smile and genuinely mean it. The first to congratulate you on a win after getting out of the car or the first to say that the next race would be better. Really, he was your best friend, but you would never tell him that or it would go to his head.

“Funny, very funny.” He said, his accent thick. His eyes slid around the motor home until finally meeting your own. “Lot of drivers are going out for drinks, came by to invite you.”

“I don’t Charles,” you started to say, going through your mental list of excuses, searching for the best one to use to avoid this social interaction.

“Oh come on!” He whined, rolling his eyes. He gave you a look that let you know you could stop thinking about an excuse because he wasn’t going to be buying it. “We won’t stay that long and it’s night race tomorrow so you don’t need to wake up at the crack of dawn.”

You pressed your lips together, the lip gloss previously applied making them slide against each other easily.

Charles kissed his teeth, nodding his head along. Fine, he’ll play the game. “Some of the WAG’s are coming as well.”

“Are you really trying to lure me out by promising female company?”

“Is it working?”

“Eh,” you shrugged your shoulders. “Will you pay my tab?”

Charles scoffed. “Pay your tab?” He asked, sounding as if you had asked him for his firstborn. “You’re filthy rich! You have a bigger salary than me!”

“Yeah, they do pay world champions a bit extra, comes with the title.” You replied, grinning at him, a wide teasing grin, your eyes twinkling.

“Fine whatever, I’ll pay your tab.” He said, raising his hands in surrender. “Now go take that suit off and shower, you look disgusting.”

“You look like a trash can threw you up!”

“It threw me up because it saw you!” Charles shouted back in response, his back already turned to you as he walked away, back to the Ferrari garage.

And that’s how you ended up in the bar, an hour later. Squished in the not too comfortable and definitely not meant to sit so many people, booth. With George’s girlfriend Carmen on your left, and Pierre’s girlfriend Kika on your right, and deep in conversation with both of them.

You feel your phone vibrate under your hand on the table, and the screen lights up, showing off your wallpaper, a picture of your beloved cat Nugget.

You tune off from the conversation the moment the message arrives, grabbing your phone and pulling it in towards you. Your face lights up, lips stretching into a smile as your eyes focus on the sender ID. Maxie.

Or rather Max. The very cute guy who was your cat sitter whenever you were out and about in the world, chasing the racing track.

With a quick move of your fingers, you swipe up, opening your phone and going into the message app. Fingers quickly tapping along the screen of your phone as you type out your reply.

With a smile you closed the messages app, pressing your fingers against the button on the side of your phone, watching the screen go black before setting it face down onto the table. As you looked back up, Lando’s amused yet teasing expression caught your eye.

You leaned forward against the table, pressing your hands to the wooden surface as you attempted to get a bit closer to the driver on the other side of the table. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh nothing,” he said with a laugh. “Just wondering who you’re texting, that’s all.” He intertwined his fingers, elbows pressed against the table and leaned forward as well. “You were all grumpy cat but then you get a message and suddenly you’re all smiles.”

“Grumpy cat?” You scoff, rolling your eyes at the McLaren driver. “I’m not a grumpy cat. And for the record, that was Nugget’s babysitter and he was sending me a picture of Nugget.”

Lando laughs, there’s a twinkle in his eyes that tells you he wants to say more but he holds himself back. “Can I see? I haven’t seen the orange gremlin in so long.”

“That’s very mean,” you say, opening your phone to show him the picture, that Max had sent you. “Nugget would never say that about you.”

“That’s because Nugget can’t speak.” He looks at the screen and his lips twist upward in a smirk. “Who’s Maxie?”

You breathe out through your nose, teeth digging into your bottom lip. When you speak your voice is sharp, it leaves no room for questioning things or an invite to ask more questions. “The cat sitter.”

“I’m sure that’s all he is.” Lando laughs when you show him your middle finger before settling back into your seat and returning to the previously abandoned conversation with the two WAG’s.

The race went pretty smoothly, as always. Starting from pole, keeping the lead the whole race and with a 20s gap to car in P2. Everything after that was pretty much a blur, the interviews, partying through the night with the grid and boarding the jet early in the morning.

The sun already started setting by the time you made it to Monaco. With a sigh you rummaged through your bag, blindly feeling around the stuff inside before your fingers finally wrapped around the keys.

Opening the apartment door you walked inside, gently laying down your suitcase as your eyes settled on the scene in your living room. Right there, laying on your couch, in deep sleep, and cuddling your cat is Max Verstappen.

His hair had fallen over his eyes and the position he’s in looks rather uncomfortable, you’re sure his body will be aching when he wakes up. His chest was raising and falling with each breath he took, little sighs slipping past his lips. Nugget was cuddled up to him, curled in a ball.

You looked at him for a few moments before starting to move around as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him up.

Max had been cat sitting for you for a while now. Half of last season and now half of this one so almost a year. He was a sweet, kinda shy, mostly nerdy guy you ran into in a coffee shop and spilled his coffee. You offered to buy him a new one and he joined you for the coffee and you got to talking when he said he was looking for a job so you offered him to become your pet sitter.

At that point you really did need someone to look after your cat while you were gone, since you had broken up with your ex who usually took care of Nugget while you were away. And you couldn’t leave Nugget with your parents since your father was allergic to cats.

Now, your best friend who had been working in a different country had returned to Monaco and said she’d be more than happy to look after Nugget - but you wanted to keep Max around.

Already having grown used to coming home after a race weekend to find him there, just existing in your space.

Nugget’s whiskers twitch, his eyes opening and he pulls himself away from Max, stretches out and then trots over to you, rubbing his head against your leg affectionately while purring. He let out a happy, albeit a bit too loud, meow when you picked him up and on the other side of the room Max began stirring from his sleep.

He opened his eyes, a bit confused, and rubbed his knuckles against his eyes to wake up, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted to the light filling up the room.

“You’re back,” he says, his voice is gentle, still sleepy and a bit quiet. His eyes meet yours and he offers you a sweet smile that has you immediately smiling back at him. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep, sorry about that.”

“Oh no, it’s no problem,” you reply, running your hand over Nugget’s fur as the cat lay happily in your arms. “You can use the guest bedroom if you’re tired, you know. The couch may be expensive but that doesn’t mean it’s comfortable for sleep.”

“I didn’t want to overstep,” Max said, pulling himself up into a sitting position. You approached the couch and sat down, the cat nestling in your lap and purring in content. Max smiled, reaching out his hand and petting Nugget.

“Nonsense Max, you’re not overstepping.” You cut him off, leaving no room for argument. You always told him to feel at ease in your apartment, that he was welcome to any food in the fridge and free to use the guest room as he pleased but even after all this time there was still a slight air of awkwardness backed up by the fear of going a bit too far.

Max’s eyes settled on you, your own focused on your cat so you didn’t notice him looking. He watched the way you cooed at Nugget, asking if he was a good boy while you were away and petting him gently, and his lips stretched into a small, careful smile.

He spoke before thinking. The words left his mouth before he even finished the thought inside of his head. “I watched the race,” he said, and your eyes instantly snapped up to meet his. He swallowed, already too deep to back down. “It - “ he licked his lips, trying to decide his next words, feeling like his tongue had tied itself up in a knot. “You were spectacular. It was lovely … simply lovely.”

You let out a breath, the corners of your mouth twisting upwards and you gave him a thankful look. Max swore he could feel his heart beating in his throat, and felt his cheeks heat up. “Thank you,” you said, your voice gentle, holding a comforting tone. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. And it’s nice - knowing you watched.”

“It is?”

You bit your lip, teeth scraping against you bottom lip as you looked at him, your brain running faster than the Sauber (like it’s hard) as you tried to come up with a response. “It’s kind of comforting,” you finally said, after what felt like a small forever.

You hummed, looking down at your nails. “I was thinking about bringing Nugget with me to the next race. It’s been a while since he was in the paddock.”

“Oh,” Max said, an edge of confusion noticeable in the tone of his voice. “Does that mean that you don’t need me coming over next week?”

“Actually, I was hoping you would come with.” You say, before you can talk yourself out of making the proposition.

Max tilts his head to the side, kind of like a confused cat and you try your best not to giggle at the mental image. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

“If you wanted to attend the Grand Prix,” you tell him, running the edge of one of your nails along your skin. “Cuz’ I’m still gonna need someone to look after Nugget, and you do that in general so this would just be an added bonus of traveling.”

Max is silent for a few moments and you think he’ll decline. You wouldn't fully blame him if he did, you know what the pressure of the paddock can be like. You’re about to open your mouth, tell him that ‘never mind, it was a stupid idea anyway’ and put him out of the trouble of finding a polite way to decline when he finally speaks.

“I suppose, if you want me to then yeah, I’ll come along to watch Nugget.” He says, trying to ignore the nervous feeling building up in his chest when you smile at him, a wide happy smile that makes him instantly smile back.

“Great!” You said, the excitement evident in your voice. “Someone from the team will contact you in a while to arrange the tickets and leave the rest to me.” Max nods, he doesn’t trust himself to speak, not with the way his throat is closing up and it makes him feel like he can’t breathe.

“Look at you all giggly,” Charles teased, gently pushing your shoulder with his hand. He wiggled his eyebrows, a laugh slipping past his lips as you glared at him.

“Charles, why don’t you turn around and flash your pretty face to the crowd.” You said, rolling your eyes. You looked at the stadium full of people who were shouting out for their favorite drivers, waving banners and cheering happily. You smiled towards the stadium and lifted your hand up, waving your fingers to the public. “Give them a wave.”

“See, I always knew you thought I was pretty,” Charles replied, waving at the public. The two of you and the rest of the grid were in a wagon, going around the track for the drivers parade, so essentially you were stuck with him for at least five more minutes. “Now, do tell who’s got you smiling like that.”

“Is it Maxie?” Lando asked, the teasing tone evident in his voice. He pushed himself closer to you and Charles, inserting himself into the conversation.

“Didn’t your mom teach you not to eavesdrop?”

“No, no!” Charles said, shaking his head as he waved his hand dismissively as you, his full attention now focused on Lando. “Who’s Maxie?”

Lando smiled at him, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “The cat sitter,” he said in a sing-song kind of voice.

“The one you brought to your garage?” The Ferrari driver asked, his attention back on you. “The pretty one.”

“Hold up!” Lando almost shouted, raising his hands. “You brought him with you to the Grand Prix?!”

“I didn’t … well I did bring him.” You said with a sigh, there was no escaping this now. “But it’s not like that. He’s here to watch Nugget.”

“And for you to watch him - because boy that is one good arm candy.”

“Charles, your homosexual is showing,” you warned.

“But you’re not denying it,” Charles noted, giving you a smirk.

You rolled your eyes at him but finally gave in. “Yes, I’m not denying it.”

You stepped back into the motor home, your eyes immediately searching for Max and finally you found him talking to your lead engineer. As you approached the two you could start to hear their conversation and quickly realized they were talking about how the car worked and what went on behind the scenes at a Grand Prix. You found it cute that Max was interested in that.

His eyes met yours and his face lit up, the corners of his mouth twisting upwards into a smile. “You’re back!” He said, “After terrorizing everyone around and getting pets, Nugget decided to settle down for a nap. He’s in your driver's room.”

Max gave you a wink after saying that and you had to hold in a giggle. You excused yourself to go to your driver’s room, with Max following behind you. The first thing you noticed when you went inside was Nugget, curled up on the massage bed and sleeping without a care.

The next thing that grabbed your attention was a dozen pastries lined up on a small table next to the couch. They were all individually wrapped in tissues.

“Max,” you said, picking up one of the pastries and unwrapping it. “I really did mean only one pastry, you know?” You bit into the chocolate filled pastry, moaning at the taste of a treat you weren’t usually allowed to have when it was race week. “My trainer will strangle me if he sees.”

“I swear, no one saw anything.” Max said, shuffling over to the couch and sitting down. “I was sneakier than Nugget when he’s stealing my food.”

“Oh, now that’s a very serious claim.” You told him with a laugh, his own laugh echoing back. You picked up one of the wrapped pastries and offered it to him. “Take one, or five. There’s no way I’m eating it all.”

He takes the pastry you’re offering him, his fingers brushing against your own as he takes it from your hand, sending sparks of electricity down your spine. After a second of hesitation you sit down next to him, the two of you eating the treats in comfortable silence.

His thigh nudges against yours and you turn to face him, finding that he’s already looking at you. He smiles and you don’t hesitate to smile back.

The practices go great, P2 in FP1, P1 in FP2 and P1 in FP3.

The qualifying is where a slight setback shows up, with quali being ended early due to a crash and a red flag, putting you in P10 for the start of the race tomorrow.

Once the car had rolled back into the pits you wasted no time getting out, putting the steering wheel back into place before storming into your driver’s room.

You pulled your helmet off, fingers curling into the bottom of your balaclava as you pulled it off, throwing it next to your helmet before bringing your hands up to smooth down your hair.

“I’m not in the fucking mood, Pepe.” You said without turning around, assuming it was your race engineer coming to talk about the outcome of qualifying. “Fucking Lance and his fucking money made seat - if that little frog screws up another quali, I’ll be the one crashing him out.”

“I’m not Pepe,” the other person in the room says and you instantly turn around, your eyes wide as they meet Max’s blue ones. “And I’m certainly glad I’m not Lance.”

You looked him up and down, eyes trailing over his figure. You took notice of Nugged, cuddled up in his arms and looked at you curiously, and reached your hand out to pet the cat, a long breath slipping past your lips.

“Sorry,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “I didn’t really mean for you to hear that.”

Max barely heard what you were saying. Too distracted by the sight of you for his brain to properly register your words. Your skin was slightly glistening with sweat, an imprint from where your helmet and balaclava had dug into your skin still visible on your flushed cheeks. Your messy hair, and your chest raising and falling with each breath you took as you were still working on catching up your breath.

Max blinked, finally snapping out of his thoughts and focusing his attention back to what you were saying. “They should have let you finish the lap.”

“I agree but sadly that’s not how it works.”

Max nodded along, not really knowing what to say to that so he switched to the next topic. “I ran into your friend. He invited you, and me, out for drinks. I think it would be nice to go, you seem like you need a drink.”

“Yeah, I definitely do.” You replied, taking Nugget from his arms and into your own, stroking down the cat’s body. “Which friend?”

“Uh,” Max started, thinking of a way to describe the guy since he couldn’t remember his name. “Wears red, pretty, sounds French.”

You laughed, smiling at him. “That’s Charles. I hope you didn’t tell him he sounds French, he gets offended by that.”

“Then it’s great I kept it to myself.”

You laughed in reply, putting Nugget down to the floor, the cat immediately moving to a cozy corner and curling up into a ball on the floor, shutting his eyes. “The hotel is right next to the track, you can take Nugget back while I shower and then we can go - if you want to.”

“Sounds like a deal,” Max replied with a smile.

You showered and put on a clean set of clothes just in time to meet Max after he finished dropping Nugget back to the hotel, leaving him with toys, food and water. The two of you made your way to the bar to join the rest of the grid for a night out.

Some of the drivers were playing pool while their girlfriends were engrossed in a conversation so that left you and Max sitting together, sharing drinks and talking.

“I just …” you started, cracking your fingers. “I don’t know, this quali really messed up my mood and I was riding on such a high after the practices going well. It all feels shit now.”

“Maybe you just need more motivation for the race.” Max offered, drinking the rest of the liquor from his glass in one go.

“You have something in mind, Maxie?” You asked, the nickname slipping past your lips without a thought now that you’ve had a few drinks.

“How about a kiss if you get on the podium?” He said, his voice suggestive. Normally he never would have dared to say something like that but the alcohol courage really worked wonders.

Your eyes widened, clearly not expecting him to be so bold or to suggest that. He took your reaction as a bad sign, immediately straightening up as a wave of dread quickly sobered him up.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out, the expression on his face shifting into a panicked one. “That was stupid. It was thoughtless. It was -”

“A great motivation,” you cut him off, putting a finger up against his lips to silence him. “It was a great motivation.”

His cheeks burned as his eyes met yours. He looked so vulnerable, his bright eyes impossibly wide. “Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“One more corner to go but you’re in the clear,” Pepe’s voice echoed over the radio. You blinked, your eyes focused on the track before you, the checkered flag already visible along with your team gathering in the front. “That’s P1, Y/n. Phenomenal drive today, you deserved it!”

“Thank you,” you said, your voice breathless as you moved your hands, going through the last corner and speeding towards the finish line. “Thank you, Pepe.” You repeated, swallowing your spit. “It was lovely, simply lovely.”

You put the car into P1, getting out and posing for a picture on top of your car. You could hear the shouts, the cheers, the celebration. You took off your helmet, ripping off your balaclava and putting them both into the car before turning around to face the team, eyes searching for a particular face.

Finally, you spotted Max. Standing besides your engineer, a proud expression on his face as he looked at you with a wide smile. You didn’t hesitate, feet moving before you could think and then you were in front of him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him down, smashing your lips into his.

The kiss was desperate, both of having waited long enough for it. He wrapped his arms around you, the best he could with the fence between you, kissing you back with need.

You finally pulled away when you felt your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, learning your forehead against his. Nothing else mattered, not the public, not the team, not the celebration. Only him, finally yours.

“Simply lovely, right?” You asked, your voice breathless.

“Simply lovely!” Max repeated back to you, before kissing you once again. And he really did mean it - everything was simply lovely.

tag list: @formula1-motogpfan @misty-inferno @thelemonque3n @marvel-hotchner @strangemaximoff @folkloresreputation @pippyth3hippy @adharacambridge @theseerbetweenus @sebastianstansblog @tellybearryyyy @six-call @grussellsprout @oikarma @justcharlotte @annimausi

i hope i tagged everyone who said they wanted to be on the tag list. hope you enjoyed this one and keep an eye out for the poll about the next part of the series <3

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misahyochaeng · 2 months ago

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Candy

(Fem!Reader x Poly!Samo)🔞

tw: Dom!Samo, Sub!Reader, Club/Stripper!AU, Dancer!Samo, Slight CnC, Drunk sex, Threesome, Food play, Exhibitionism, Shy!Reader, “Unexperienced" Reader, Fingering, Body worship, Mentions of liquids or spit of some sort, Backstage sex (REPOST FROM MY WATTPAD!!!!)

a/n: this is an old chapter i’ve decided to repost, im sorry if the writing style is off.

—

—"Come on, Y/N, stop being such a sore loser!"

Nayeon mocked as she gave you a light shove on your shoulder. Jihyo looking at you with furrowed eyebrows as she crossed her arms.

—"All you do is play games at home, go out with us for once!!"

Your roommates complained, they were usually party people, often out drinking or clubbing; you on the other hand were completely opposite.

You preferred to stay in, sure you liked to go out from time to time and have fun, but you didn't see the need to do it all the time, you'd rather stay home and have your alone time.

Though the nagging was getting on your nerves, and you knew it wasnt gonna end any time soon, so you gave in.

—"Alright, Alright.."

You groaned, standing up from bed, running a hand through your messy bed hair.

Before you know it, the girls pulled you into your vanity for a "makeover".

Nayeon did your makeup, while Jihyo chose a proper outfit for you, and in a matter of seconds, you were fully dolled up.

They both checked you out, smirking a bit.

—"Not bad, Y/N.. you should thank us."

Jihyo remarked in a slightly cocky tone.

You looked in a mirror and was a bit taken aback from your appearance, you were wearing a short, dark red bodycon dress, topping it off with black heels and a leather jacket, and your makeup was dark yet femenine; it was obvious you were gonna catch some looks in the club.

—"Oh wow,"

You mumble as you stared brainlessly at the mirror,

—"Yeahh, yeahh.. we know, you look stunning."

Nayeon said in a bit of a sultry voice, creeping up behind you and hugging you, hands on your waist and squeezing your sides, she smiled as she leaned on your shoulder.

—"Let's get going."

Jihyo replied as she dragged you both into the car, drifting away to the club.

The club was packed when you got there, visible for a weekend, you let out a shaky sigh as Nayeon held onto your arm and led you to the club, showing your ID to the bouncer as you finally reached inside.

After a while, you lost the girls, they had downed so many drinks down your system that your head was pounding and everything felt like a slight blur.

You stumbled around trying to find them until you bumped into two girls, groaning as you fell hard on your bottom.

—"Fuck, i'm sorry."

You rubbed yourself softly before looking up, jaw falling open and eyes widening at the sight.

There hovered two dancers, you'd been observing their entire performance before and having them this close felt surreal.

—"Wow... i mean, sorry, did i say that out loud?"

You stammered, eyebrows furrowing and cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment,

The dancer with black hair and bangs stared at you with amusement, the latter next to her giggling a bit and reaching her hand out to you.

You finally realized you'd been on the floor the whole time, taking her gentle hand and standing up.

—"I-i'm really sorry about that."

—"It's okay honey."

The girl with bangs replied, eyeing the girl next to her, it was like they were communicating with just eye contact.

—"Say, you seem nice.. you alone? how about a drink with us."

—"No I' should get going to my frie—"

—"Whatever, come on let's go."

The two well dressed dancers grabbed you and pulled you into their own backstage room, you passed by bouncers, dancers and even pimps flirting with girls.

As you crashed on the couch, the girls began pouring pure alcohol.

—"Loosen up, sweetheart, let's have some drinks, no?"

The brown haired girl handed you a shot, your hand a bit shaky as you took it gently.

—"I'm Sana by the way, and my little companion there is Momo."

She said as she pointed at the cold looking girl with bangs mixing up the drinks, you weren't gonna lie, her presence was scary.

—"And you are?.."

—"Y/N."

You replied quick, bringing a pillow to your lap, covering your revealing outfit.

—"Great, Y/N! Well.. how about we play some drinking games, loosen up a bit. hm?"

Sana appealed as Momo quietly brought over the multiple shot glasses and cups.

—"Alright.."

You blurted awkwardly as you began playing.

—"Okay, the games pretty simple, we'll flip a coin and the player has to guess if it's head or tails, whoever loses has to be given a shot by their opponent, alright?"

Sana inquired, eyes staring at you with a slight glint; you nodded.

—"Alright! I'll do it with my dear Momo so you'll visualize the game a bit better."

Sana smiled, scooting over to Momo who was staring at you both with an unreadable expression.

Sana pulled out a coin and flipped it, covering it with her hand after taking a peek.

—"Alright Momoring, heads or tails?"

Sana said in a cheeky tone, a mischievous smile plastered on her face.

There was a moment of silence as Momo thinked, the bass of the music outside the backstage only being heard.

—"Tails."

Momo replied, smirking softly as she read Sana's face for a response.

—"Dangit!"

Sana groaned softly, a pout evident on her face.

Momo chuckled as she stood up and picked up a shot glass, pushing Sana down gently on the couch next to you, her eyes darkened and dominant, she lifted Sana's chin up and forced her mouth open, pouring the shot glass into the latter's mouth.

The sight brought a feeling to your stomach, you didn't know if it was Momo's hand placement and her cocky smirk as she hovered and poured the alcohol down Sana's mouth; or if it was Sana's beady eyes, staring up at Momo as the intoxicating liquids fell in her mouth, plump lips shining as a bit of the liquid dropped down her chin.

Sana swallowed and knocked you out of your trance by speaking up.

—"Alright, you see? nice and simple! Now it's Momo's turn."

She smiled as if she wasn't looking up at her friend needily just seconds ago.

—"U-uhmm.."

—"Alright, Y/N, heads or tails?"

Momo bluntly interrupted, arms crossed as she looked down at you, a competitive smile on her face.

—"Heads?"

Momo nodded, flipping the coin swiftly and taking a look at it, she giggled before exchanging a look with Sana.

—"Wrong!"

She began approaching you even more, shot glass in her hand, but this time it was different, Sana began slithering over to your direction too.

They both had test tube shot glasses in their hands, as they got closer, both Sana and Momo straddled each of your thighs, practically pinning you down as Momo forced your mouth open.

—"Spice things up a bit, no?"

They both put the tubes in their mouth, leaning in, lips practically brushing as she both passed the liquid into your system.

—"Fuck.."

You groaned as you swallowed, the alcohol burning your throat.

—"We're gonna have a lot of fun with you."

They said in unison.

Hours passed and you played even more games, though for some reason you kept losing and drinking more and more, over and over again.

—"You lose again, Y/N"

Sana said in a teasing tone, straddling your lap as Momo handed her another shot glass, a lollipop inside the glass, adding a sweet cherry flavor to the alcohol.

—"A-again... thiss iss unfair—ugh..."

You slurred over your words, you were drunk out of your fucking mind from the amount of drinks the girls had made you take, and the amount of times you lost.

—"Shh, i know, i know, princess, just take it."

Sana glided her thumb across your lips, parting them open, taking out the lollipop, taping out the excess liquid from it before making you suck on it.

—"Fuck.."

She cursed under her breath before pouring the alcohol into your mouth, the cherry liquid dripping from your lips down your chin.

Sana couldn't resist any longer, glueing her mouth onto your bottom lips, sucking and licking up the spilling liquids.

You hummed against her lips, too drunk out of your mind to even acknowledge what was happening.

Your kisses began getting sloppy, small moans escaping your lips as Sana toyed with your chest, Momo slowly creeping behind.

—"Took you fucking long enough, how about we take this off?"

Momo laid behind you, hands massaging your shoulders and kissing your neck while Sana went to work on your lips and chest.

—"I could practically rip this dress off you, babygirl, but you look so pretty, want you to wear it for us next time you come see us."

Momo whispered in your ear, kissing your earlobe before biting it gently.

Sana began lifting up your short dress up to your hips, your arousal evident in your lacy underwear.

—"Fuck, you're soaked."

Sana bit her lip at the sight, collecting your wetness with her finger before tasting your arousal, eyes practically rolling to the back of her head as she tasted you

—"Gosh, fuck.. were gonna make a mess of you, make such a big fucking mess of you, princess"

Sana rubbed you through your underwear, teasing your slit and occasionally pressing down on your clit, while Momo payed attention to your neck and tits.

You threw your head back in ecstasy, leaning back onto Momo as Sana finally took off your underwear.

—"Such a pretty fucking pussy, just for us, right?"

You nodded, body barely conscious as they had their way with you, Sana's fingers now knuckle deep inside you.

You whined weakly, the feeling was so good yet you felt so flimsy and tired to even form basic words.

—"Gosh, been fucking eyeing you since you walked into this club. Yknow, this whole fucking thing was rigged, yeah? Just wanted you all nice and intoxicated so we could fuck till you're unconscious."

Momo whispered in your ear, her hands shoved down your dress as she toyed and played with your nipples.

The stimulation was overwhelming, you threw your head back further in search for Momo's alcohol stained lips, your lipstick was smudged and you had hickey marks all over, mascara running slightly on your cheeks.

—"You like this, no? getting used by pretty girls like us, hm?"

Sana interrupted, as you were about to speak up, you were cut off short by Momo's fingers rubbing on your clit, one hand still kneading and groping your breast.

Those loud noises were also cut short though by Momo's slightly large hands covering your mouth, suppressing any noise coming out from you.

—"Be fucking quiet, gosh.. you need it so badly don't you? it's pathetic."

You squeezed Momo's thigh as you felt yourself coming closer to the edge, your inner walls clenching on Sana's curled fingers, they knew you were near.

—"Gonna cum, baby?"

Sana said in a tone laced with a facade of pity, she twisted and curled her fingers even deeper, hitting your G-spot, the feeling backing you arch your back.

—"So pathetic, you naughty fucking girl, i bet it turns you on when i watch you get fucked by my co-worker, hm?"

Momo bit your neck, one hand still on your mouth as the other rubbed your clit even faster.

—"Come on baby, cum for us, you've been so fucking good."

As those words left Momo's mouth, you practically came undone, your juices coating both Momo and Sana's fingers, body falling limp against Momo, she gently held you and rested your weak body on a pillow.

—"Shhh, it's okay.. it's okay."

Momo soothed you into a passed out state, the alcohol in your system being too much.

While you were out, the girls tasted your juiced on their fingers and groaned in unison.

—"Fuck, we might need you to visit more often."

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hxnbi · 15 days ago

Note

hi!! I love your writing :). I wanted to request an angst to fluff scenario where reader likes the boy and confesses to him but he turns her down, but then he later regrets it and comes back?? and they live happily ever after??? i don’t really have any specific preferences other than that but im such a sucker for rejecting and regretting/she falls first he falls harder scenarios!! im using her/she to refer to the reader rn but i dont have any preference, just not sure how else to write it haha id love if you could include suo, togame, and umemiya but totally up to you :).

hey so thanks sm for your request! i loved writing this and with these boys, tho umemiya's does end on a pretty angsty note with how i was initially drafting it. i hope thats okay ♡

confessions, rejections, and regrets

⸻ °♡⃘ . you confess to the boy you liked, only to be rejected. or so you think, as, unbeknownst to you, the next time, it would be him begging for your heart

⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Suo Hayato

Tears. All you could feel dripping from your face and down your cheeks was the salty aftermath of your own tears. And standing before you, the boy who had just rejected you.

"I'm sorry, I just don't see you in that light," Suo, with his hands firmly placed in front of the other, repeated, further breaking your heart into a million pieces.

Pitifully, you laughed—but little humour was found in the dreary quiet of your heart. "I know," you whispered, choking down the ache that was your confession to the person you'd grown to admire and love.

The pain lingered with every thought—that Suo was simply just too good for you, but so did your respect for him. Even if you tried your hardest to do so, you just couldn't find it in yourself to dislike him.

Suo had always been kind, even as he rejected you.

That was part of why you liked him so much in the first place. Even if it hurt, you couldn't blame him for having such feelings about you that just weren't the same. You couldn't continue to be selfish.

"I know. Just, thank you, for hearing me out," you said, your voice becoming surprisingly steady, slowly accepting what you heard. "That's just the kind of person you are."

And then you walked away. You refused to let him see the fresh tears welling up in your eyes. You respected his choice. If he didn't reciprocate your feelings, you couldn't force it. It had to be mutual—or nothing at all.

Days turned into weeks, and though you still felt the ache of his rejection, like with most things, you had to move on and push forward. You treated Suo the same way you treated everyone else. Although, you couldn't deny that it was rather awkward after Suo saw you well up with tears dripping down your face like a waterfall. And it didn't help that you both were friends with the Furin first years, like Kiryu and Nirei, whom you were very close to.

So, time and time again, you would avoid Suo like the plague; all the while, he seemed to watch from afar, unsure of how to bridge the gap. You were always respectful, never bitter, never clinging. It was difficult, but you refused to let your emotions tarnish your friendship or make things awkward.

Suo, however, found himself unable to stay away. He'd initially assumed your feelings for him were just surface-level, a kind of shallow attraction to his looks, but that couldn't have been further from the truth. He only realized this when he peeled back the layers of who you were—a kind, genuine individual so far removed from the superficial affection he had imagined. And as time passed, he began to notice more—the way you treated everyone around you with the same kindness and consideration.

But over time, Suo would see you purposely trying to hide from him, all the while pretending everything was okay and nothing changed. It was saddening, in a way, how your laughter grew quieter, your gaze avoiding his, and the fun and games you two once shared together seemed to slip through his fingers like grains of sand.

But you couldn't hide from Suo forever.

"He just doesn't like me, Nirei.”

Taking a walk around the neighbourhood that evening, following his typical routine, Suo had unknowingly overheard you talking to Nirei. And unlike his straightforward character, he continued to hide behind the wall and listen, his heart aching with every word he caught from your lips.

"It’s not that I don’t care…" you said softly to Nirei, who had asked about what had happened between you and Suo. "He rejected me, and I have to respect that. You can't have a relationship if both sides don't feel the same."

"I see... B-But do you still like him?" Nirei finally asked, twiddling his own thumbs.

You hesitated for a moment before answering, "I do."

That conversation was what really hit him hard. That you still liked him. That maybe... he wasn't too late to come around.

"Nirei, not knowing what to say to a person who seemingly still had feelings for one of his closest friends, winced, "He'll... he'll come around," not necessarily finding the right words, but you didn't appear to mind it. Rather, you were too distracted with your own feelings.

And Suo, hidden from view, felt his chest tighten. He wasn't sure why he'd been hiding in the first place, but suddenly, he couldn't bear to listen any longer. He shouldn't even be here, listening to your conversation and very obviously intruding on your privacy.

But just before he could slip away, though, very conveniently, Sakura popped out from behind the corner. "The hell are you doing back here?" loud enough for both you and Nirei to hear and turn your heads to meet the noise—and Suo, right before your very eyes.

Your eyes went wide in shock as you spotted Suo standing right there, seemingly who had heard everything.

"S-Suo, what are you—"

Back-and-forth looks were exchanged, and so too was the silence. Nirei and Sakura gave brief, knowing glances, and with a single look, Nirei left you two alone, much to your dismay and humiliation.

You stood frozen, your mind racing with a thousand thoughts, none of which managed to form coherent words to say to the boy who had basically just heard you confess your feelings to him once again. Nervous and fidgeting, you finally let out a sigh. "Hayat– Suo, I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise that I'm not going to bother you anymore. I really—"

But your words and apologies were left on deaf ears—cut off mid-sentence before Suo suddenly reached for you, his hand gently pulling you toward him. Before you could even process what was happening, you found yourself wrapped in his arms, your head resting against his chest.

"I was wrong."

"…H-Huh?"

"I was so, so wrong," he muttered, grasping at the edge of your sleeve even tighter than just a second ago. "I thought you only liked me for shallow reasons, but... I've realized that I like you too. More than I ever let myself admit. And I apologize for making you wait."

You blinked, your brain going haywire, trying to comprehend every word that left his lips, but Suo only held you tighter, his chin resting on the top of your head. When you didn't answer, he went on—whether that was for your or his own reassurance that you wouldn't be the one rejecting him this time was unclear.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to see it, but I don't want to let this go," he murmured. "I don't want to lose you." He regretted every moment of him rejecting you since that day. And if you were to be the one rejecting him this time…

Your breath hitched at the base of your throat, disbelief seeping into your every thought. Was he serious…? The boy who had rejected you, who had caused you so much heartache, was now confessing to the very feelings you had once longed to hear.

'You make it so unfair…' you muttered.

Part of you wanted to reject him, to make him feel how you felt after he rejected you. But deep down, you knew you couldn't find it in yourself to throw away this chance. And neither could Suo.

"I… I still like you, too."

Your voice was hardly audible, but Suo heard it loud and clear. He pulled away just enough to meet your eyes, his expression soft and vulnerable. "Then let's start over."

Your lips trembled into a small smile. "Alright."

Suo leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, until Suo suddenly grabbed your hand, making you jump slightly. "Come on," he said, tugging you gently. "Let's go grab something to eat. I know of a good spot that just opened that serves your favourite food."

"W-Wait, Hayato, I thought you were on a diet?" you stammered, completely caught off guard by his change in behaviour. He had always been strict about his routine—always so disciplined, so focused. But now, he seemed different. Lighter, somehow. But that was Suo for you.

He smiled, softer this time, his eyes lovingly meeting yours. "I can't miss this opportunity to spend time with a special someone. You can't keep avoiding me forever," making your face flush crimson as his words sunk in.

⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Togame Jo

Shit… he shouldn't have said that.

Togame's words had slipped out before he could stop them, and the second he did, he knew he had fucked up. He cursed from under his breath, his hands already reaching out toward you as your face crumpled with hurt.

You stood there, staring at him—processing every snide word that left Togame's mouth—your chest rising and falling as if you were struggling even to breathe. He didn't mean it. He knew he didn't mean it, and he was pretty sure you knew that, too. But the damage was done, and he could see it in your eyes, the way he could see the shimmering of unshed tears ready to drip down your flushed cheeks..

"I'm sorry," Togame said immediately, his voice softening as he pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you like a protective barrier. He could feel you stiffen in his hold, your hands pushing weakly against his chest, but he wasn't about to let go, not on that horrible note.

"Let go, Jo," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "You made your decision. You've... I've already said enough."

But Togame wasn't listening. Not with what he just had done and said that only left him with regrets. He couldn't take it anymore. Not the sadness in your voice, not the way you tried to pull away from him like he was a stranger. No, he wasn't letting you walk away like this, not after everything you had shared. And certainly not after everything he just spat at you.

"I didn't mean it, okay?" His words were rushed, almost desperate. Togame's grip on you only tightened with time, refusing to let go even an inch. "I was stupid. I-I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was saying, but I promise you, I'll fix this. I can't stand seeing you like this."

Your heart hurt at his words. You were utterly torn between wanting to believe him and protecting yourself from further hurt. After all, he had already said plenty… "You don't get just to say something like that and then take it back, Jo. It doesn't work like that..."

Togame's breath hitched as your words sliced the air and, in turn, his heart. His mind and body froze

That wasn't it. Not at all. He liked you. He loved you.

His rejection was but a projection of his own insecurities—that he wouldn’t be the right person for you.

But never did he think that he too didn’t want anyone else in your life, that it made his heart ache just thinking about it, the idea of someone else seeing your smile, hearing your laugh and holding the piece of your heart he so desperately longed for—that he previously had thrown away.

He hated himself for it—hated that he’d let his fears dictate his actions, that he’d hurt the one person who made his world feel less empty.

But he couldn’t let this end here. Not like this.

"I know. But— fuck…" he said quietly, his voice breaking, cracking into incomprehensible pieces of a heartbroken sentence. His shoulders trembled as he finally loosened his rough grip on you. Although his hands still rested hesitantly on your shoulders. “I know I can’t undo what I said, but I need you to know... I was wrong. I’m so damn wrong, and I’m so sorry.”

Scrunching your face, you shook your head, gaze fixed on the ground as you tried to will away the tears that had long streamed down your face. “Why, Jo?”

Why. A simple explanation as to his stupid, idiotic, impulsive mistake was all that you wanted from him.

His heart clenched at your words. Pure guilt tore him apart. He wished he could go back and rewind time to the moment before his insecurities took over. But he couldn’t. All he had now was this moment to make things right.

“Because I’m a coward!”

His confession all tumbled out in a rush, unfiltered. “I’m a fucking coward.” Every word was a weight being lifted from his chest, all in hopes that you might understand might hear him out, even if it wouldn’t completely change things. “I thought... I thought you deserved someone better. Someone who wouldn’t screw things up like I always do. Someone who could make you happy without dragging you into all my mess.”

Your eyes flickered up to meet his, for once, the honesty in his voice catching you heavily off guard. He appeared to be so unusually vulnerable, completely stripped of the bravado he usually wore like armour on his fists.

“But I can’t stop thinking about you,” he continued, his hands sliding down your arms as if needing a sense of reassurance that you were still with him and by his side and not a figment of his imagination. Hesitant but hopeful. “Every time I tried to push you away, it just made me want you more. And I was a complete idiot for thinking I could ever be okay without you.”

“Togame...”

“And I get it if you hate me for this,” he interrupted, all the words tumbling out of his mouth before he lost his nerve. “But I need you to know... I’m not asking for a second chanc—” he paused his sentence, before he could lose his resolve completely. “I love you. I’ve loved you all along, even when I was too scared to admit it.”

Your chest tightened. You oh-so-wanted to stay angry, to hold onto the pain, but his confession was undoing every wall you had tried to build.

“I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Just... don't walk away from me. Please. Not like this."

“.....”

“...Do you mean that?”

Your voice was hardly audible as you looked up at him.

“More than anything.”

Togame cupped your smaller face in his callous hands, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down your cheek, kissing the pain away. “I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that’s what it takes.”

For the slightest moment, neither of you spoke. You could hardly hear a thing other than the sound of your breathing and the beat of his heart pressed tightly against yours. You felt his arms around you, warm and safe, and despite everything, a part of you wanted to stay right there, to believe that things could be okay.

Then, slowly, you nodded, the smallest of smiles breaking through your tears. “I hate that you’re so good at making me believe you,” you said softly, for the first time all day, a small laugh escaped your lips. And it was heavenly. It was what he loved so much about you.

Togame’s lips quirked up in a tentative grimace. “Does that mean… I get another shot?”

“Don’t make me regret it,” you murmured, but your voice was warm, filled with the hope that maybe—just maybe—this time things could be different. "I'm not going anywhere," you finally said. "But you have to mean it this time, Jo."

He nodded, his forehead resting against yours. "I do. I promise."

So, just like that, you let it go. Slowly, you relaxed in his arms, letting the weight of your sadness slip away, if only for a moment. Togame didn't let go, and neither did you.

And in that moment, wrapped in his arms, you allowed yourself to believe him. For now, that was enough.

⸝⸝ 𑅛𑅫 Umemiya Hajime

"But we can still be friends!" Umemiya's voice rang out, almost too cheerful for the conversation you'd just had. He flashed you that familiar smile, oblivious to how his words felt like a punch to your chest.

"Oh! There's actually an event at Furin soon. I know you like a good barbecue. You should join us! It'll be fun!"

You stared at him, nonblinking, and for a brief second, you couldn't believe he was serious. How could he be so, casual? He must be playing you, right...? But no, that was just how Umemiya was, as you've found him for years.

You had just poured your entire heart into him, and in return, he offered you friendship—a friendship that you already had with him for years—as if it were a consolation prize.

But your heart ached so much, desperate for any kind of connection to him, that even the slightest bit of attention, however hollow, felt like a lifeline. So you nodded, forcing a polite smile across your face. "Yeah... sure, I'll come."

And just like that, you became that of a shadow, a close friend who laughed at his jokes, stayed by his side when he needed someone, and cheered for him during the times when you both would play video games. You were nothing more than a mere member of his Furin family. All the times you would talk and laugh together with them were great, and even the occasional late-night hangouts. But it wasn't enough. It was never fully enough.

Staying close to Umemyia only made you want him more, and that fact haunted you. Being so close to him yet knowing you couldn't have him the way you wanted was agony. The more time you spent around him, the more you craved his attention, but not as a friend, no, but as something more. It gnawed at you, that longing, and with each passing day, it became harder and harder to pretend.

It wasn't just unfair to you—it was unfair to him, too. He deserved someone who wouldn't secretly hope for something more, who wouldn't keep pushing the boundary between friendship and something deeper. You knew this arrangement couldn't go on, not without tearing you apart.

So, one night, after finally gathering the courage, you decided to put an end to it. But unbeknownst to you, Umemiya wasn't doing any better either.

Before, he never considered you more than a friend—someone who'd been there through all the ups and downs, always supportive, always kind, always you.

He never questioned the ease with which he could talk to you or the way your laughter seemed to brighten the atmosphere of any room you were in.

So when you finally confessed to him that very day—that your feelings toward him were more than what he thought—he hadn't thought much of it beyond friendship. He didn't think it was deeper than that… not until after he turned you down.

At first, Umemiya was convinced it was the right thing to do. He told himself he didn't feel the same way. But as the days passed, those same thoughts weighed differently on him. The way you still smiled at him, still treated him the same even after his rejection—it gnawed at him.

He started seeing the little things he hadn't noticed before. The way you always knew exactly what to say to cheer him up after a bad day, the way your eyes lingered on him for just a second too long, the way your laugh sounded like it was just for him.

And suddenly, it wasn't just about friendship anymore.

At night, alone with his thoughts, he realized he had been wrong. So, so wrong. The feelings he'd dismissed as just a fleeting affection had grown—almost insidiously—into something he couldn't ignore. It became a constant. An ache of longing to be near you, but this time, not just as a friend, but as someone who could hold you, kiss you, call you his own.

So when you suddenly asked for him to, and you meet up together alone after the barbeque, Umemiya's heart jumped in his chest. This was it. This was his chance to fix everything and correct his mistake, to tell you the truth, to apologize for being so dense. He was ignorant, blatant even, to one of the dearest people in the world to him.

Tonight, he was going to do it. He was going to make it up to you by apologizing and asking for forgiveness. He was excited, hopeful even, imagining the moment when he'd pour out his heart and beg for your forgiveness. You were kind, after all. You'd understand. You had to.

He could barely contain his nerves as he waited for you, replaying his apology speech over and over in his mind.

But when you arrived, something felt off. But Umemyia merely brushed it off as mere nerves. But then you spoke.

"I can't do this anymore."

Your eyes met his, and for a moment, Umemiya's heart stopped. He forced a laugh, trying to shake off the unease creeping into his chest. "What do you mean? O-Oh! If you're talking about how Sakura was acting earlier, hah, he doesn't mean it! You know how he is, just messing around."

But you didn't smile. You didn't laugh. Your expression remained serious, and it made his stomach drop. No, it couldn't be, right?

"Umemiya, I can't do this anymore," you repeated once again, your voice breaking, trembling in a way he had never heard before. "I can't just act like nothing happened anymore. I thought that I could continue being your friend. I really tried. But... it hurts too much. Please, I—"

His heart clenched. No, no, no—this wasn't right. This wasn't how tonight was supposed to go. He was supposed to apologize, to tell you how he felt, to fix things. But now, seeing you like this, so hurt, it paralyzed him.

"Don't say it."

"Hajime, please. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

No, he couldn't let you walk away. Not like this. Not when everything had finally clicked for him. Before he could stop himself, the words spilled out, desperate and unplanned.

"—BUT I LOVE YOU!!"

And he said it.

The moment those words escaped his lips, everything seemed to freeze, and the silence that followed was unbearable. He watched you, waiting for some sign, some reaction that would let him know he wasn't too late. But your eyes... they were filled with so much pain, it made his heart ache even more.

You didn't speak right away, and the longer the silence stretched, the more regret began to claw at him. Why hadn't he seen it sooner? Why did he wait until now, when you were standing here, on the verge of walking away, to realize how much you meant to him? His own foolishness, his blindness—it was too much to bear.

"Why now?" you finally asked. Your voice was soft, barely audible, as if you were afraid of the answer he was giving. It wasn't angry, but it wasn't hopeful either. It was aching, that desperate part of you. "Why... after everything?"

Umemiya couldn’t answer. He didn't have a good reason. He just knew that he loved you now, that he couldn't imagine his life without you in it. But he also knew that might not be enough.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his hands trembling at his sides. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize... I didn't know until it was too late."

The tears in your eyes broke him. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He thought he'd be able to fix things, to make everything right, but now it felt like everything was slipping through his fingers.

And much to his horror, you shook your head slowly, stepping back, the distance between you growing—both physically and emotionally. "It's not fair, Hajime. You can't just say that now... not after everything."

For the first time in his life, Umemiya Hajime didn’t know what to say. He stood there, stunned, the words he wanted to say lodged in his throat because, deep down, he already knew.

He didn’t have the right to ask for more when he had rejected the very thing he now realized he couldn’t live without. He had turned you away, convinced it was for the best, only to understand far too late just how much he had thrown away. His indecision—his cowardice—had led to this moment. And now, it wasn’t just his heart breaking; it was yours, too.

He opened his mouth, tried to reach for you, but his arms fell back to his sides. He couldn’t keep making excuses. He couldn’t selfishly try to pull you back, not when his own fickleness had caused you so much pain.

So he let it happen. Right before his very eyes, he watched you take another step back, your face etched with a hurt he knew he had no way of easing. And when you turned, it felt as though the entire world had slipped out of his grasp.

The streets around him blurred as he stared at the spot where you had just stood, his mind and body going through the realization that he might just never get the chance to fix this.

“Wait...” he whispered hoarsely, hand unconsciously reaching forward, but the word fell into the silence, unheard and unanswered.

And with that, you were gone, leaving him behind—alone, with but the cold remnants of his mistakes.

lol i also noticed how each just gets slowly more bittersweet to straight up angsty in umemiya's

©hxnbi. comments, reblogs and likes are always appreciated ♡

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wizardsix · 2 months ago

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bioware either writes a trans man and allows the player to invade his privacy out of nowhere or writes a buff nonbinary character and makes it their whole personality. just stop. I'm fed up with it and I'd rather have a game w no trans rep than butchered trans rep and forced allyship.

there's absolutely no need to use our modern terms in a fantasy setting. its very weird and jarring and shows how little bioware cares. it's not difficult to make up their own words or just talk about it in a more natural way. you'd think for a fantasy world that has made up languages they could easily make up a word to describe genders and sexualities, so what's the issue? why don't we get the same care everything else (supposedly) does? like how come no one uses the words gay or lesbian or even bisexual but it's easily implied through dorian saying "I prefer the company of men" and sera's "we have too much in common bc we both like women"???? how come they can say that in a way that doesn't break immersion but taash has to go crazy about gender and write "trans/non-binary/genderfluid/agender all so so super valid I am affirmed" on the walls??

I get what they were trying to do with taash's story but it's not executed well at all especially with that fucking misgender scene. bioware I can assure you most people won't dissolve when they're misgendered. saying sorry or just correcting yourself and moving on is ok. its preferable actually. we don't need a character to stop the conversation to give a speech about how misgendering is bad and apologizing is also bad and act all white knight for us. it's embarrassing. like if I didn't know any better id say they were making fun of us. that's how fucking bad this writing is.

I'm sorry to the people who just accept the bare minimum, but it IS cringe and annoying to have our existence watered down to "trans" and "valid". why can't we just fucking exist without being turned into freakshows to gawk at. trans people deserve better representation than this caricature. we deserve basic fucking respect. our existence is much more complicated than cis people could ever understand and I'm sick of people pretending to care.

#sorry im pissed #i know its just a game but this has real consequences #people are already being so homophobic and transphobic about this game and bioware made it worse by making us look obsessive #im tired. if i have to write one million trans characters to make up for this slop i will do so until i die #dragon age veilguard #datv spoilers #bioware critical #transphobia #six speaks #im writing this in the middle of the campus foyer and its dark outside sorry if i missed anything or don't make sense its been a long day

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luvr444writes · 1 month ago

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hii! soo i have a rodrick heffley request! (sorry if it's a bit vague) also id prefer if they're fem-focused but if you wanna do gender neutral that's cool too

rodrick heffley x childhood next door neighbor reader troupe where:

reader has always had a crush on rodrick since they were kids and they used to be close to rodrick, but as they got older rodrick got a bit meaner and they distanced a little bit (still friends at school, just rarely visits)

reader still likes rodrick but he's so infatuated with heather hills that all they can do is hurt on the inside like HURTT like YEOWCH MY HEART type hurt

however, when reader and rodrick's family have a little neighborhood party they start talking more and rodrick starts to see reader as a romance-able option. like, wdym this hottie has been next door the entire time!

so now rodrick starts thinking about them more and getting more nervous around them but rodrick wants heather! right..??

also i'm hoping it has a bit of a dramatic but happy ending, rather than just, "i love you dork!" "hehe i love you too..." mwa mwa mwa

Hii ! I tried my best to write this how you wanted, but again, I am new to writing. If this isn't what you were hoping for, I am so, so sorry! Xx

---

Rodrick Heffley x Fem!reader

---

It was a warm Friday evening, mid-summer, and the Heffley family had decided to throw a small neighborhood party. You stood in your own backyard, glancing over at the bustling scene—colorful lights strung around the trees, laughter mingling with the scent of grilled burgers wafting through the air. Your heart ached at the thought of a certain heffley child, Rodrick Heffley, your childhood friend and long-time crush, socializing with his friends, all while seeming completely enthralled by the fact that Heather Hills was in his backyard and had even spoke to him.

You had known Rodrick for as long as you could remember. The two of you were inseparable as kids, your summers filled with bike rides, silly games, and dreams of becoming rock stars together. But as puberty hit, things began to change. Rodrick started hanging out with a different crowd, often acting like the cool, disinterested boy who had little time for anything other than his music and Heather’s captivating smile. It hurt seeing him shift away from you, but you tried to respect his space, even if it felt like your heart was slowly crumbling into pieces.

The party was in full swing, and you debate whether or notyou should join in. Yes, you had received an invite to the get together, Mrs. Heffley knocking at your front door to do so and to make it known how much she missed having you around the house. However, it seemed awkward. You hadn't spoken to them in a while. Maybe you could just be a quiet observer, sipping lemonade and enjoying the glow of the festivities from a distance.

You glance around the party and caught sight of Rodrick, laughing with his friends, his signature smirk plastered on his face. As pride swells in your chest, a pang of longing follows closely behind.

“Hey, you okay?” Your best friend waves her hand in front of your face, pulling you back to reality. “You’ve been staring at Rodrick for like, ten minutes.”

You shrug, forcing a laugh. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking…”

“About him, right?” She raises an eyebrow, a teasing smile creeping onto her lips. “You know he’s been crushing on Heather for ages, right?”

You nod, feeling the familiar sting of jealousy surge through you. “I know. It doesn’t matter. Besides, we’re just friends now.” If even that anymore, you mentally scoff.

But deep down, the truth was hard to ignore. Every interaction you had with Rodrick was laced with an unrequited tension, one that left you feeling both hopeful and hopeless.

As the night continued, you finally decide to suck it up, push your nerves aside, and get a plate of food. You stroll towards the grill only to bump into Rodrick himself, carrying burgers and hot dogs, a look of surprise washing over his features. “Oh, hey,” he says, running a hand through his messy hair.

“Hey,” you manage, your voice faint.

A pause stretches between you, both of you searching for something to say. “Didn’t expect to see you here,” Rodrick admits, glancing toward the large crowd of people in his yard before focusing back on you. “You’ve kinda been MIA lately.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” You shift your weight from one foot to the other, suddenly feeling shy. “Just busy with school and stuff, you know?”

Rodrick chuckles, an easy sound. “It’s crazy how fast time flies, huh? We used to hang out every day.”

“I miss those days,” you find yourself saying, surprising both of you. “I miss you.” Why would you say that?, you groan internally.

His expression softens for a split second before he regains his composure, clearing his throat. “Yeah, me too. But hey, did you hear about the new band I’m working on? It’s going to be sick!”

Your heart flutters at the mention of music—the one thing that always connected the two of you. “I didn’t! Is it going well?”

As he launches into an excited explanation about practice sessions and his plans for the band, you can't help but get lost in the way his eyes light up when he talks about his passion. For a moment, all thoughts of Heather vanish from your mind.

Suddenly, Rodrick pauses mid-sentence, regarding you with a contemplative look, looking almost embarrassed. “You, uh, actually want to hear this, right? I'm not boring you?” He asks, recalling just 20 minutes ago when he tried telling Heather Hills the exact same thing, before noticing how uninterested she looked.

“Of course I do!” You reply, genuine enthusiasm spilling from your lips. “You’re talented, Rodrick. I’ve always admired that about you.”

He shifts closer, his demeanor changing from cocky to vulnerable as he studies you with newfound interest. “Thanks. That means a lot coming from you. I mean, you’re—you’re really cool.”

Your breath hitches, heart racing as he leans in slightly, the air thick with unspoken words. Just then, Heather appears, giggling as she joins Rodrick’s group, flashing him a big, fake, radiant smile. The spell broke, and you felt your heart sink once again.

“Rodrick!” She calls, and you watch as he turns, momentarily captivated by her presence. You step back, heart aching, the tension from moments ago quickly dissipating into thin air.

Heather spares you a quick, bitchy glance, before grabbing Rodrick by the arm and whisking him away from you all over again.

The night wore on, and the party continued, but you found it harder to join in. Instead, you sat on the porch, watching the festivities unfold from a distance. Rodrick stole glances at you throughout the evening, but each time he seemed to hesitate, torn between the allure of Heather and the strange pull you had on him.

Eventually, your best friend found you sitting alone, leaning against the porch railing. “What’s wrong? You’re missing out on all the fun!”

“I don’t know,” you confess, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down. “I just wish things were different.”

“Different how?” she probes, nudging your shoulder playfully.

“Like… I wish Rodrick could see me the way he sees Heather,” you murmur, fresh tears brimming in your eyes, quickly wiping them away in embarrassment.

"Hey," She whispers, voice softer than before. "You're amazing. I mean, like, 100 times better than Heather Hills." She scoffs, "If he can't see that, then he really doesn't deserve you.

You smile, leaning your head on her shoulder and looking out at everyone enjoying themselves.

After some time, your friend had left you and you hear footsteps approaching. Lifting your head from looking at your shoes, you seen it was Rodrick, walking toward you with purpose, the party background noise fading into nothingness. You blink, trying to make sense of the expression on his face.

“Hey,” he starts, his voice quieter than usual. “Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure,” you reply, your heart racing.

He leans against the railing beside you, stealing a glance toward the party and then back at you. “I, um… I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?” you ask carefully, hoping to mask the tremor of your voice.

“About you,” he admits, his cheeks slightly flushing. “I know I’ve been kind of a jerk and distant, but… I realized something tonight. I’ve been so focused on Heather that I didn’t notice just how much I've missed you and how amazing you are.”

Your heart soars, but the fear of rejection lingers. “Rodrick… you’ve made it pretty clear how you feel about her.”

“Yeah, but…” he hesitates, searching your face for understanding. “I don’t want to overlook someone who’s always been there for me. Heather isn't you. You’ve been my neighbor since forever, my best friend, always stood by me... even when I treated you terrible. And tonight, it hit me that I like you… I-I've always liked you.”

The words hung heavy in the air, “You like me?” you repeat, disbelief dancing in your voice.

“Yeah. I do,” he confirms, a shy smile breaking through his earlier doubt. “I just didn’t fully realize it till now.”

For a beat, silence envelopes you, a shared weight in the moment. “So… what does that mean?” you ask, heart pounding.

“Maybe we could start again? Like, forget all the awkwardness and go for ice cream or something?” He rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit you found endearing. "Or.. There's this concert Saturday night that I got tickets to. I, uh, was gonna invite a buddy from the band, but I'd, um, I'd rather go with you." He stutters nervously.

You felt giddy, disbelief slowly melting away. “I’d like that,” you whisper, unable to suppress the smile that's spreading across your face.

Rodrick grins, a boyish gleam returning to his eyes as he reaches out, intertwining your fingers. “Great. I'll come get you at, like, 6 o'clock, Saturday..?”

"Yeah, sounds good." you laugh, cheeks burning bright red and hands starting to clam up with nerves.

As the night continued, you and Rodrick hung out with his friends, cracking jokes in the Heffley's backyard. However, all you could think about was, what on earth were you gonna wear Saturday night?

#rodrick heffley #reqs open #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x y/n #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley imagine #diary of a wimpy kid #loded diper #rodrick heffley x y/n #devon bostick #devon bostick x reader #rodrick rules

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softxsuki · 2 months ago

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FANFIC/FANART CONTEST (Money Prize)

!!!!BEFORE CONTINUING: For my U.S participants, please make sure you have Venmo or Cashapp. And for anyone outside the U.S make sure you have PayPal. That is the ONLY way I'll be able to send the prize money if you win, and I will NOT be using PayPal for an U.S winners (bc i need to pay a fee to send money with paypal and I'd rather not ).!!!!!

With that settled, hey! This is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, but every year has been a little tight for me with my own holiday spendings and student loans I have to pay back, but I wanted a chance to give back to you guys for all your support, and what better way than through a little contest?

I’ve been writing on tumblr since April 2021??? I’ve put out a lot of writing for you guys, despite my horrible writing schedule and terrible deadlines I never meet. I’ve loved every minute of it and have enjoyed talking to some of you ❤️

Perhaps you've been around for a long time, or you just followed me yesterday, ooooor maybe you're finding my blog through this post, if so, welcome! I write fanfics for anime and otome games (used to write for kpop as well, but I don't anymore). If that sounds like something you like, then you're in the right place!

What do you need to do to join?:

Write either a fanfic or draw fanart to enter and get the chance to win money :). It’s the holidays season, and while I can’t give out much, I want to give something. I’ll be picking 4 winners-- 2 for fanfics and 2 for fanart. First place winners for each will get $50 and second place winners will get $25.

How to Enter:

You must be following me

For U.S participants, you must have Cash app or Venmo, and if you live outside the U.S, you must have PayPal! (if you don't and you win, you won't be able to receive your prize money!)

Choose whether you want to write a fanfic or draw fanart (only pick one. And you can only submit once)

Tag me in your completed work and add the hashtag #hanscontest2024 along with any other hashtags you want to get your work out there (this is how I'll find your work if your tag gets lost in my notifications)

Add in your Cash app or Venmo ID to the bottom of your work (you can delete this once the contest is over if you want, just wanna make sure people who enter actually have one) Participants outside the U.S who will be using PayPal, I won't ask you to put your private info on here, but just please make sure you have one. And instead, just state which country you're from so I know you're an international participant! Thanks

Rules/Guidelines for Each Topic:

Fanfic Writers:

Your fics must be a minimum of 1k words, I don’t have a maximum, but I’d feel bad if you wrote a whole fic and didn’t win…but length doesn’t determine who wins, quality does!

You MUST pick a character from the list below. I’ve added fandoms and characters that I personally don’t write for as well, but enjoy (since I’ll be reading all of these, I’d like to read things for characters I like!)

Fem!Reader or Gn!Reader only please (Again, I’ll be spending time reading these and as a woman, I’d relate more to reader if I can relate to them. But if you have a male reader in mind, you can still enter, just write it gender neutral please!)

I am a SFW blog, but I’ll be accepting slightly NSFW submissions for this contest. Just please no straight up porn with no plot. I need plot to actually get into a story :(

Idea’s must be your own and must be new and written specifically for this contest! No plagiarizing, and no fics that you’ve already written and posted online or you’ll be disqualified

No non-con/rape, no incest, no poly, no character x character, no drugs (alcohol and smoking are fine, just no weed, no other drugs pls), no religion mocking, no racism, no hateful speech towards any group of ppl pls

Only one submission per person (I’ll be able to tell through writing style or if you make another account to join again and you’ll be disqualified)

That’s about it. As for grammar, I have a hard time reading things that don’t flow well or have grammar mistakes. SOOOO for my younger writers out there who don’t know some grammar rules, or maybe even my writers who don’t have English as a first language, or maybe even writers who’d like a proofreader, I’m willing to read through your drafts to correct any minor grammar mistakes. I won’t be helping with anything else, like how to progress your story, or plot holes or anything like that, only grammar. My editing help will not increase your chances of winning either or guarantee you to win.

For Fanart:

Like the writers, you must pick a character from the list below

Artwork can be physical or digital, just no AI artwork please, or you’ll be disqualified

Can be any medium; digital, drawing, painting, etc—just make sure it’s complete. Preferably some color would be great as well, unless you’ve chosen an artistic route to not use color

Just characters please, no readers. And no ships…you can choose several characters from the list and incorporate them into one piece, but just no romantic ship artwork plssss

Must be your own work and new! I’ll be reverse searching every image to make sure it doesn't already exist

Each image must have a little turtle in it somewhere in the artwork (just as an indicator that it’s really yours. Why turtles? Because I love them heh)

I’ll allow suggestive artwork, just please don’t send in anything explicit (you know what I mean)

Some more general rules:

Please make sure you’ve read and understand all the rules written. If you submit something that breaks one of these rules, you’ll be disqualified. So if you have any questions or need anything clarified, just ask me :)

If you’re a minor, please don’t send in NSFW content, I’ll disqualify you. Also I'm leaving this open to all ages, just know you won't be able to use the prize money or receive it if you don't have a bank account...so I guess that would be 16 and up? Idk what the age is to start your own bank acc lol

NO AI ART WORK OR WRITING ALLOWED. This is your chance to be creative and showcase you, in whichever way you decide

NO Stealing other people’s work…just don’t do it

Please don’t trauma dump on me, or beg me to choose you as the winner. I know there are people out there who would really need this money and who are struggling. I feel for you all, but I can’t afford to send everyone money. I can’t handle hearing how badly everyone needs this…my guilt won’t be able to handle it. I’ll disqualify you if you do, if many people do it, I’ll end the contest entirely. This is supposed to be fun with the added benefit of winning some money for yourself if you win

The creative freedom is yours! Write whatever you want to write about, make it unique, grab my attention. Draw/paint/create whatever you want with whatever ideas you have; whether it’s turning Bakugou into a boxer, or making Zoro a girl dad, the possibilities are endless. I want everyone to have fun with this!

Again, US participants must have cash app or Venmo and participants outside of the US must have PayPal! If you don’t then you won’t be able to receive the prize money if you win!

Deadline: December 22th @11:59pm

Please let me know if you have any questions about anything. Again, grammar editing can be requested. I’ll be going over only grammar. I won’t be giving you advice on how to write your story or how to advance your story/plot holes or things I don’t like. Only grammar! If you want to run your story idea or art idea by me first to make sure it’s acceptable, you can do that as well. I’ll be around :)

I was thinking over how to choose the winner. At first I was going to do a poll, but I realized it would be biased towards users who have more followers than others. So I will be choosing the winners myself. Looking at fine details and works that really speak to ME, hence why I’ve chosen specific characters.

Not sure how much attention this will get or how many people will enter, for all I know, only two people might enter and the money will go straight to them, or no one might enter…so this is a test trial. If no one joins, I shall delete and pretend like it never happened. But if it’s successful, then maybe I’ll make it a yearly thing! Giving back for the holidays :) <3

Good luck and hope you all have fun with this!

List of Characters to Choose From:

Honkai Star Rail: | Blade | Dan Heng | Jing Yuan |

Wuthering Waves: | Calcahoro | Jiyan |

Yona of the Dawn: | Hak | Jaeha | Shinah |

Attack On Titan: | Eren | Levi | Niccolo |

Naruto: | Itachi | Kakashi | Sasuke |

Mystic Messenger: | Jumin | Saeyoung |

Spy x Family: | Loid | Yuri |

Inuyasha: | Sesshomaru |

Snow White with the Red Hair: | Obi |

Good Luck <3

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curioussubjects · 4 months ago

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oh and like considering that, again, not only are we in northern thedas, there's two rampaging mega powerful ancient elven mages (both using blight magic on top of it) out and about AND the veil has grown even weaker...like. would anybody really be thinking about who rules orzhammar or if the inquisition sided with the templars or anything hawke did in da2...

i mean think about it: how many specifics did we get in any given name about current tevinter politics? anything about rivain? what about nevarra and the anderfells? it only makes sense that we won't get a lot about ferelden and orlais this time.

idk y'all i think it's gonna be fine (or mostly fine i still have some doubts as i said in my other post), and in the end id rather the game be honest about what choices will actually matter in the worldstate than have me go through all choices only for a few to matter like with the keep.

one last thing: any fallout that could affect the world broadly as a result from the choices in dao through dai, but that dont really influence the events of veilguard, are better left vague so that it doesnt lock in the writing for future games. why limit yourself now, as writers and developers, when you don't have to.

#dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #datv spoilers #datv #really dont think it's worth skipping this game if this is your only complaint so far tbh #though im always for waiting for a sale if you can that's just smart lol

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linkspooky · 11 months ago

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The Death of Kenjaku

So I was planning to write this meta the week that Kenjaku died, but decided to delay until we got full confirmation of his death. Something I didn't believe in even after Kenjaku passed the merger onto Sukuna. However, watching this video about death in Jujutsu Kaisen inspired me to finish this post. Not because I disagree with anything the YouTuber is saying, but because they can speculate on the meaning of so many deaths in Jujutsu Kaisen but can't find the meaning in Kenjaku's sudden death. This has led me to speculate why Gege made the choice to kill Kenjaku in the way that he did. What meaning is there in Kenjaku's abrupt and unsatisfying death?

Who is Kenjaku?

The first step in understanding Kenjaku's death is of course understanding how he lived. We actually know incredibly little about Kenjaku's character by design. Despite the fact he's literally in Geto's body, he's not meant to have sympathetic or human motivations to his actions (though hold onto that "human motivation" in your head for a moment). No flashback sequence shows the audience why this guy is the way he is, no single event seems to have driven him to do what he did.

This is what we know about Kenjaku in brief. He is a sorcerer who is over a thousand years old who was around in Sukuna's day. He once had a friendship with Tengen, but found her original self boring and unambitious. He also contrasts heavily with Tengen, who lives outside of humanity, because he has lived among humanity for 1,000 years. One of those lifetimes was Noritoshi Kamo who violated a woman and conducted heinous experiments. He produced ten children in his one thousand years, the nine death painting siblings and Yuji Itadori. He considers the first children boring, because human and curse hybrids turned out too normal.

He also partially blames himself for how boring they are, because he can't create anything that will exceed his expectations, the only thing that can exceed his expectations is born in chaos. He spent a thousand years organizing the culling games, and wants to use the games to create a merger, because he thinks creating a merger between Tengen and Humanity will create something entirely new and interesting. He also believes the way towards the future lies in further optimizing cursed energy, not in breaking away from it the way Yuki Tsukumo tried to do and Maki has.

The only people whose word we have on Kenjaku's motivations are Kenjaku himself, and Tengen's word and Tengen themselves who claims to not know what goes on in the human heart.

From all of the above Kenjaku seems to be a shallow character who's motivations can be summed up as "because I can" and "I want to see what happens." This shallowness is intentional however, as Gege who once praised the minimalist storytelling of Nasu and Evangelion likes to pick and choose what crumbs of backstory he gives out for his characters. We've never gotten any exposition on the Gojo clan, but we have an entire chapter about Takaba's failed career as a stand-up comic. This isn't a judgement of good or bad writing, this is just how Gege writes as minimalist as possible. This is in line with how Gege writes the ancient sorcerers as well, they are all much more shallow driven by instinct or Freudian Id (I desire) rather than the higher reasoning of modern-day sorcerers. Takaba uses comedy as a means of communication and bridging the gaps between people, Higuruma's backstory is the critique of the modern day justice system. Ishigori apparently lived a satisfying life where he was succesful and had good women, but that wasn't enough so he wants to get into a fight with Yuta to satisfy his hunger and feel like he's eaten desert.

It sounds shallow when I summarize it in text, but in the context of the fight with Yuta, it's a challenge for Yuta who for the most part only cares about his loved ones and sees the world through his love goggles to be more selfish and fight for his own desires. It's also reflective of a more basic and instinctual kind of thinking, as opposed to the higher reasoning and logic that modern-day sorcerers apply.

I'm keeping most of this first part to text for this reason, like go back and read the fight with Ishigori and Yuta. If I summarize Ishigori's character reasoning out of context it sounds stupid, but read the fight and it works because it's ID (I Desire) vs. Yuta's superego in not only having to collect points to help rescue Tsumiki, find a way to protect all the innocent people in the Culling Games, and also collect enough points to take on Kenjaku himself so Gojo won't have to. Meanwhile Ishigori's just fighting to get some of that sweet desert, the shallow works in contrast to the more layered motivations of our heroes.

Kenjaku is a shallow archetype fighting to satisfy his baser impulses (in his case curiosity) in comparison to the main characters who are fighting for more complicated reasons and often people besides themselves.

The question then becomes what archetype is Kenjaku. In that case answering who Kenjaku is is quite simple.

Kenjaku is a clown.

It might be more accurate to say that Kenjaku embodies what's commonly known as the "trickster archetype" but I'mma go with clown.

The most obvious example of a clown villain is what most consider the joker to be, that is a silly little clown man who challenges the straight faced and grim batman and sews chaos where Batman attempts to establish law and order in Gotham and make the city into a better place.

From the book Batman and Psychology:

More than any other villains, the Joker and Two-face reflect Batman himself as funhouse distortions, converses of who and what he is. The laughing, jesting, brightly colored Joker contrasts with grim, dark Batman. The Joker is the Joker. No alter ego. The film's opening bank robbery shows him wearing a clown mask over clown makeup, Under the surface there's only more Joker. He gives no history except inconsistent lies. When he finally considers the impact of his demand Batman unmask, he retracts the threat and demands that Batman's identity remain undisclosed. He wants a batman who has no other self, a Dark Knight whose only deeper layer is further darkness.

Is there a better descriptor for Kenjaku then these words?

Kenjaku is Kenjaku. No alter ego. A clown mask over clown makeup., Under the surface there's only more Kenjaku.

In other words, what you see is what you get.

Kenjaku even mirrors Joker's opinion of Batman, he thinks people should be more like him, not the other way around. He's not the outlier, he's being true to humanity's basic impulses of curiousity and discovery.

A more apt comparison as a clown though would probably be Loki, one of the most classic examples of clowning in the shared mythology of humanity. The character who challenges the common wisdom of gods like Odin who suspended themselves from the world tree for eleven days in order to gain wisdom. Loki, who through his trickery manages to bring about the events of Ragnarok for no deeper reason than because he can. Everyone swore not to harm Balder and Loki goes to find something that can harm him because BET.

Mythological Loki doesn't need a deeper motivation because what he represents in the mythology is someone who challenges authority and brings about a change, because in Norse Mythology nothing lasts forever and no era is permanent. Jujutsu Kaisen is also a story about how things should not in fact stay the same and tradition is bad sometimes.

When Kenjaku finds Tengen's true body he's curled up in a tree root in the fetal position, and he killed what is basically the all-knowing, all-seeing supposedly immortal sorcerer that maintains the status quo of japan, it's not exactly subtle.

Kenjaku is a clown, and clown's gotta clown. We don't need any more explanation that, it's more about what he does for the story. However, what he represents, the deep intellectual curiosity, and also a drive to disrupt the status quo in an attempt to see something more interesting can also be analyzed more deeply because they are human emotions that motivate us as well. The same way that Mahito is an inhuman monster, but he's created and motivated by the fear of other humans, something all of us have. '

Before moving onto his death though, I wanna hammer in how Kenjaku really is just motivated by these two things, a desire to see something interesting, and intellectual curiosity by comparing him to other characters.

The Clown in Fiction

I've already compared Kenjaku to Loki and the Joker, but when it comes to someone who wants to disrupt the entire order of the world simply because they're bored we've got to go to the original girlboss.

So there are plenty of villains who go "I'm evil because I'm bored" but they usually tend to be pretty shallow, either shallowly written for the lulz evil characters who just exist for shock value or just kinda dull. No one has ever done it as good as Junko Enoshima and no one ever will again.

For those who need context DanganRonpa is a death game series where the main villain basically has caused the apocalypse, wiped out most of humanity, and then induces survivors in a bunker to kill each other in a death game, where if someone commits a succesful murder they can escape the bunker, but if they're caught in a trial they're executed. Also, if they're not convicted in the trial everyone else is killed, motivating the jury to find and execute the guilty murderer.

Junko Enoshima the main villain and orchestrator of this death game ended the world because despair. She wants to inflict despair on everyone because despair. Because hope sucks and despair is where it's at.

It sounds shallow and it is and Kodaka has said in interview he wrote Junko to be a villain character with zero redeeming character traits, and no sympathetic backstory to describe why she is the way she is, but there is still something motivating her.

If you go a bit deeper into the lore and read Dangan Ronpa Zero, there is an entire book which explains the lengths which Junko goes to feel normal human emotions. The thing is much like Kenjaku Junko is too smart for her own good, everything is predictable and therefore everything bores her. Once in an attempt to live normally, she literally lobotomizes herself, makes it so that she can't remember anything and has continual amnesia constantly forgetting what just happened to her, because that's the only way she can live without knowing everything that's going to happen and constantly predicting everyone's actions.

Junko has whatever her universe's version of the six-eyes is, but instead of lording it over other people like Gojo and basking in her superiority she wants to feel normal, and connected to the world. If she can't have that she tries to make the world as unpredictable place as possible so she can experience it the same way that everyone else does.

Hope is harmony. A just heart, moving toward the light. That is all. Despair is hope's polar opposite. It is messy and confusing. It swallows up love, hatred, and everything else. Because not knowing where you will end up is despair. Despair is even what you cannot predict. Only despair's unpredictability can save you from a boring future.

I'm still not describing it properly because I don't want to go into a Danganronpa essay in this post about Jujutsu Kaisen, but one example I always use is two characters from American Dragon Jake Long. They're a pair of twins who see the future, one always sees happy things, and one always sees sad things. The one who has happy visions is a goth who's very depressed and the one who sees disaster is an incredibly peppy girl.

Jake is so confused as to why the twin who always sees good visions is so depressed, and she basically tells him to imagine having every good thing, every small little surprise, every pleasure taken out of life.

Kara: When you only see good things, nothing's special anymore. All the pleasant surprises are taken out of life. Sara: But, when you only see bad stuff, even the smallest bit of good news makes you happy!

All of this to say what Junko feels isn't just boredom, or a desire to commit evil for evil's sake, but also a full on existential crisis where she's simply too smart so she doesn't feel any connection to other people or the world around her. In order to feel that connection, that connection that everyone else has, to feel like she is actually a participant in her life not an observer she's willing to go to extremes to make the world a more interesting place, to therefore make her own life feel satisfying.

Kenjaku vs. The World (Kenjaku Pilgrim's sad little life)

To connect all this back to Kenjaku imagine the profound existential despair of a person who's lived for a thousand years, and felt bored all that time. Sukuna is at least a hedonist, he gets his fun by getting into fights, humans might be bugs to him but they're tasty bugs.

Kenjaku goes to similiar motivations and has similiar extremes, he's uninvested in the world around him, he's lived a thousand years but has no attachment to the world, to life, to the people around him. I said that Junko wants to be a participant in life not an all seeing observer and that was purposeful language because to bring back an old post. I rambled on this post about Gojo that part of Gojo's problem is that he only experiences observer-to-object relationships or I to it.

Ich and Du, translated as I and Thou is a book by philosopher Martin Buber. His two main porositions is that we may address existence in two ways:

The attitude of the “I” towards “it” towards an object that is separate in itself, which we either use or experience.

The attitude of “I” towards “Thou” in a relationship in which the other is not separated by discrete bounds.

In Buber's terms, those who only experience the first type of relationships are only observing the world around them not relating to them. Kenjaku doesn't relate to other human beings because they are objects, he only experiences subject -> object relationships and never subject -> subject.

Buber also goes on to theorize that meaning in our lives comes from subject -> subject relationships we form with other people.

Kenjaku jokingly says that to be his friend you have to never bore him and be his equal, but there's no one considers his equal because he's the subject and everyone else are just objects.

He regrets he can't sit down and talk theories with Tsukumo Yuki because she's one of the few people who think like him.

Kenjaku is a paradox of an incredibly brilliant man who is also shallow as a puddle that you can stand in and not get your socks wet. However, he tragically can't really form a more complex identity because our identities are formed by our relationships to other people and Kenjaku doesn't relate to anybody.

That's basically the theme of the whole Choso and Kenjaku fight, Choso is a weird aborted fetus of a curse who still has a strong identity and is able to feel unconditional love for Yuji because of the connection of family and the ideas of brotherhood that binds the two. Kenjaku is a bad father who abandoned Choso because they were "boring" but also never really gave them a chance to grow up or be interesting, he just dismissed them offhand and moved on to the next weird science project.

However, his reason for dismissing Choso isn't Choso's fault but rather a case of Psychological projection. It's not Choso who is boring, but rather Kenjaku himself, he said so earlier.

"What I can create, does not exceed the bounds of my own potential. The answer is always flickering darkly in chaos."

Kenjaku cannot look within to find anything satisfying abput his life because there's nothing inside of him. He doesn't have a fully formed identiy he's just ID, and because he tramples all over other people to form his desires he also cannot ever form a full ego. Just like Sukuna and most of the ancient sorcerers he's a paradox of being all ego, and yet having an underdeveloped ego with shallow motivators.

Kenjaku cannot look within because he's a boring person, and he cannot look for other people to find worth in his life because they're just objects, so instead he looks into the void, he tries to change the world around him by spreading more chaos hoping that it will make something unpredictable happen in front of his eyes - and that will give him the meaning and investment in his life he's deprived himself of because he refuses to form relationships with other people.

It's the Gojo problem. It's the Kashimo problem. It's not the Sukuna problem, because Sukuna admits he doesn't care about and rejects things like love and meaning.

If Kenjaku makes the world around him a more interesting place, he will be able to live in it. It's the same as Gojo trying to raise people up to his level by creating stronger students.

So after going to great length to demonstrate how powerful and all-consuming Kenjaku's boredom is, and how cut off he is from his own humanity, here's the part where I sort of defend his death.

Wouldn't it be funny if the joke character killed the main villain?

Let's be honest it was Takaba's kill here, Yuta just camped and killstole. I think part of the problem with people not understanding the meaning behind Kenjaku's sudden and unexpected death is attributing the death to Yuta cutting his head off out of nowhere, and not Takaba's thematic victory over Kenjaku.

Takaba represents a blindspot for Kenjaku which is why the main characters use him as a weapon against him, and he also calls out in a fashion Kenjaku's hypocrisy. First and foremost, Kenjaku presents himself as an agent of change, but he actually has no interest in many of the modern sorcerers and holds a bias towards the heian era as the peak of sorcery. He even says that he's going to bring back the Heian Golden Age to Sukuna at the end of Shibuya arc.

Because that's what Chaos is Kenjaku, things being the same as they were 1,000 years ago. Kenjaku is an agent of change and chaos and somehow his definition of change is... resetting things back to the past because the sorcerers of the past were so much better than today.

Kenjaku goes out of his way to awaken hundreds of modern day sorcerers, and then dismisses literally off of them except for Hiromi because they don't have enough potential for him compared to ancient sorcerers. He essentially did the same with the Death Painting Bros, he went through all of the trouble to create them, then dismissed them as not having enough potential BEFORE THEY EVEN GOT THE CHANCE TO GROW UP.

Kenjaku has a habit of just going BORED NOW and leaving before he even gives things the time to impress him. He does the same with the Culling Game, he set up the death game to push sorcerers to fight each other and bring out their powers, but he never actually intended to watch the sorcerers evolve. He just wanted to slaughter everyone inside to start the merger.

He goes through a lot of potential to set up these situations and then abandons them before they have the chance to even evolve, because they do not have enough "potential" in his opinion, but like his opinion is often shown to be wrong. Takaba represents that blindspot because he was one of the modern sorcerers that Kenjaku underestimated and dismissed offhand as boring without giving him a chance to shine.

That is the joke that Takaba introduces himself with "Wouldn't it be funny if a random comic relief side character suddenly defeated the big bad?"

He's immediately pointing out a blindspot, because Kenjaku automatically believes himself to be an important character, he underestimates Takaba because he's a side character, one of the people Kenjaku has dismissed as boring and uninteresting (before they even had a chance to evolve into something else). Like that's the other thing Kenjaku wants things to evolve but he doesn't... let them. He abandoned Choso and the rest before they even grew up, they were literally fetuses and he threw them away. Kenjaku is the protagonist of reality, and Takaba is a side character, and therefore Takaba couldn't possibly harm him because Kenjaku and his boundless curiosity are the center of the world.

It's not just about subverting the audience's expectations to have the main villain die in such an anti-climactic way before the final act even starts, but it's pointing out how narrow Kenjaku's viewpoints really were all along. He wants everything to be surprised but he never lets anything surprise him, because either he gets bored right away, or he looks down on others before giving them the chance to evolve, or the third thing he just straight up has to control everything. He can't let the culling game evolve naturally he's going to slaughter all the players by hand so he can move onto the next part.

It's the contradiction between a schemer who needs to control everything and everyone to bring about his intended result and everything needs to be a part of his big plans, to someone who wants to be surprised by others and have things go off the rails. You can't have both of these things at once, Kenjaku cannot have things surprise him if he rigs everything to go his way with his overly elaborate schemes and his tight-fisted control of everyone in the story.

Like, in comparison to Kenjaku the joker just blows things up and sprays people with laughing gas. They're both playing the same game but the joker is having fun and Kenjaku isn't.

Kenjaku wants an unexpected future, but he doesn't care about any of the modern sorcerers and has a bias towards the heiean era that he considers the height and wants to reset things to bring back the heian era. He wants to be surprised but won't give up control.

Kenjaku's boast is that unlike Tengen he's spent a thousand years living on the ground instead of lording up on them from above like some deity, but is that true? Has Kenjaku lived? Has he engaged with the world? Formed relationships with people? Or does he just sit in the corner rubbing his hands together menacingly and scheming his schemes.

Takaba unironically gives Kenjaku what he wants, something he's never seen before in a thousand years, and it's from a place Kenjaku never expected. Some random guy, who he dismissed as one of the boring modern sorcerers with no potential like Higuruma.

Takaba not only exists in Kenjaku's blindspot, he almost immediately points out Kenjaku's second hypocrisy. If he's willing to resort to mass murder just to feel entertained, then if he found something else to entertain him there'd be no reason to get violent and scheme his schemes.

In other words Kenjaku hasn't really gone looking for other places to try to find what makes life worth living, or at least enertaining, he hasn't really tried any alternatives to finding joy in life because Jujutsu is all he cares about. Takaba says that if he found something else even more entertaining than the merger there'd be no need to go through with the merger, and he turns out to be right. Kenjaku could have found meaning and entertainment with the world someplace else, he was just too narrow minded and never looked anywhere else.

As I said from the beginning Kenjaku's existential crisis comes from his inability to relate to other people and viewing them all as objects, but in Kenjaku's mind of course he can't relate to others they're too boring, so therefore it's the world's fault, and the fault of others and not himself.

However, right away one of those boring people starts relating to Kenjaku.

I joked about how we know nothing about the Gojo clan but Takaba gets an entire backstory chapter about his failed comedy career, but this chapter is plot important because jokes are the way that Takaba relates to and forms relationships with other people. Takaba makes jokes to relate to others but has a fallout with a comedy partner and has never been able to form a lasting relationship with a comedic partner because comedy doesn't mean the same to them as it does to him - because to Takaba comedy is about forming relationships with people. Which is why he thinks he's failed if he's failed to make everyone in the audience laugh because he wants to make comedy that will make other people relate to him and understand him.

However, he almost gives up on comedy because he's afraid that he might fail on that endeavor. He gives up on striving to make everybody in the audience laugh, because of self-affirmation and a desire to protect himself. He didn't want to fail so he started distancing himself from the audience under the excuse "Well, I can't make everyone laugh so it's okay if not everyone understands me."

Takaba at some point gave up on trying to use comedy as a means of understanding and relating to others, because of his fear of failure and at that point he nearly lost - but he rallies himself by saying that he won't give up on making someone like Kenjaku laugh. If his comedy is about connecting to others, about understanding others and having others understand him then he can't just give up on Kenjaku and say it's Kenjaku's fault that Kenjaku can't relate to his sense of humor. He's got to try even harder to make Kenjaku laugh.

This is also pretty much the opposite of Kenjaku's point of view. For Kenjaku it's everyone else's fault for being so boring that's why he can't relate to them. Wheras, Takaba takes personal responsibility, he wasn't funny enough, he has to try harder, he's the one who's going to make Kenjaku laugh by improving himself. Takaba looks inward, and Kenjaku looks outwards because there's nothing inside Kenjaku.

This is a parallel to this.

The difference however, is that Sukuna did not betray his ideology. Sukuna lives for the kicks that battle provides him and wants to face strong opponents so he can eventually devoured them and be momentarily entertained.

Like Sukuna is not bored the way Kenjaku is. The world is his playground. He may refer to living as just killing time until you die, but he also says that there's an infinite variety of humans to entertain yourself with. The world is Sukuna's toybox and he's satisfied with just that. In fact he doesn't even care about the merger, until his frustration with Yuji makes him think a little deeper about himself.

Kenjaku is not the Sukuna in this scene, he's the Gojo. He believed he was above others, only to be reminded suddenly that he was just the same as everyone else and brought back down to humanity. I mean, they even die off panel the same anticlimactic way. Gojo's infinity meant nothing in the face of one surprise attack a world-cleaving slash Gojo didn't see coming. All of Kenjaku's backup plans meant nothing in the face of Yuta camping and kill-stealing.

Kenjaku didn't lose because Yuta's plan of camping and killstealing was simply too brilliant for him to prepare for however, we're given the exact reason kenjaku lost - because he was having too much fun with Takaba.

Which meant what Takaba said earlier was true, if Kenjaku found something funnier, something other than the merger that could make him laugh there'd be no need to go through with the merger to begin with.

Kenjaku loses because all along he could have related to people, formed meaningful relationships with others, looked for meaning in life outside of Jujutsu but just chose not to. Which is also a parallel to this.

Sukuna says that Kashimo and Gojo both lost because they were greedy. They already received love in a way, they had the love of everyone who regarded them as the strongest, they had people who earnestly wanted to challenge them and respected them - which Sukuna sees as a form of love, and yet they still wanted more.

They were the ones who put themselves up on that pedestal and decided to stand above all of humanity, they don't get to whine about being lonely on top of that.

To add my interpretation to Sukuna's speech, what he's outlining is a general conflict in Jujutsu Kaisen, you can choose to be all ego to put personal development above everything else but it comes at the cost of not being able to form relationships. Maki's as powerful as Toji now, but the sister she always wanted to protect is dead and basically committed suicide. Meanwhile Noritoshi Kamo didn't participate in the final battle, but he reconnected with his mother and half-brother.

There are plenty of characters who die and suffer in jujutsu kaisen because they chose to value other people above themselves, because Jujutsu Kaisen rewards selfishness and punishes selflessness / having an underdeveloped sense of self.

I'll pick Mechamaru as my biggest example, he lived to protect Miwa, and not only does he die an unsatisfying death, he also breaks her heart.

However, at least Mechamaru experienced love. His desire to protect Miwa is granted, because Miwa is also out of the final conflict. Mechamaru is one of the most miserable characters in the manga, and yet he experienced love in his life for someone else that made his brief life meaningful. The characters who choose love, and other people over strength tend to get stepped on, but they at least had that love in their life to begin with.

It's a having your cake and eating it too situation. Kashimo chose strength over love, and he got to be so strong he was unbeatable and lived to old age, but not only is he unfulfilled but he whines about being unable to relate to the people around him - you're the one who chose to step on everyone like bugs.

Characters in Jujutsu Kaisen don't just experience death when they try to be selfless however, like yeah there's a disproportionate amont of selfless minor characters who die, but like Yuji is the most selfless character in the manga and he's continually punished for it and yet he's the one referred to as a person with an unbreakable will.

Rather instead of Jujutsu Kiasen preferring the selfish side on the scale of selfishness / selflessness, the kind of messy, deaths that get handed out to people like Mechamaru happen when you betray the ideals you were living for. Whether they were selfish or selfless.

It goes back to Toji's internal monologue. You lose when you lose sight of yourself - like there's some deaths that don't fit the mould but for the most part, Gojo, Kashimo, Toji's and then Kenjaku's deaths all follow this pattern. By coincidence they also all take place offscreen for the most part (I suppose we see Yuta cut off Kenjaku's head but it's quick and unsatisfying compared to all the rest).

Kenjaku died because he betrayed what he was living for and he temporarily lost sight of himself. As I said Kenjaku's airtight principles were that everyone was boring and people weren't worth relating too so the only way to find enertainment in life is to cause chaos - but he found himself relating to some nobody he wrote off as a minor character Takaba and having fun with him. Which meant the belief he was false, he could have tried relating to other people all along he just didn't.

He warped his sense of self to reaffirm his identity. Takaba almost did that too, he tried to blame other people for not finding him funny to protect himself, but he moved past that and redoubled his efforts to make Kenjaku laugh.

There's also the added layer of irony that Kenjaku's sudden death brings about, the person who spent a thousand years trying to make the merger happen doesn't get to see it.

However, here's my assertion on why Kenjaku's death before the merger always had to happen.

Because, even if Kenjaku had seen the merger he still would have been bored.

Literally everything about Kenjaku's character and previous actions shows that even if he made his big scheme come true, he would have gone "meh" and moved onto the next scheme because that's how he always reacts.

He got bored of the death painting siblings, he presumably got bored of Yuji, he got bored of all the ancient sorcerers and new sorcerers he made for the culling game, he worked with the disaster curses and got bored of them and dismissed them as inferior primitive curses, he goes out of the way to engineer these chaotic situations and then never feels any satisfaction from them so why would the Merger be any different?

Not only did Kenjaku die before he saw the merger, he was basically doomed to never see the merger, because it would not have fixed whatever is wrong inside of him.

Because it's not the world that's boring, it's Kenjaku himself.

He gets a brief glimpse of what he could have done in life, that he could have tried to forge connections with the people around him and related to them on a personal level - and then he dies the way he lived, in a kind of boring and unsatisfying way.

It's the narrative punishing him in a way, the same way it punished Gojo, and Kashimo, by not letting him see the big explosion after he went to all the trouble rigging the bombs. It's punishing him for the same reason too - by deviating from his true self and showing what he thought were his reasons were shallow all along. Gojo could have always related to people he just chose to stand on his pedestal alone, and Kenjaku could have always found the world to be more enertaining he was the one dismissing other people as boring without giving them a chance to grow.

Takaba confronted his beliefs and then stayed true to his ideology of making everyone, 100% of the people in the crowd laugh. Kenjaku didn't confront his beliefs, he strayed from them because he didn't have the strength of character to evaluate himself the way Takaba did.

Hence, he's finished off by one of those boring people who used their power in a way he never expected. The main villain is defeated by the comic relief character and it's hilarious.

#jjk meta #kenjaku #fumihiko takaba #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen theory #jujutsu kaisen analysis #jjk spoiler #jujutsu kaisne spoiler #big spoiler actually

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