#id rather people not be harmed by my work or use it as self-harm. please look after yourselves <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

Matchsticks by freakshow (oatmealcrisp)

Two months into their marriage, Yuuri discovers Viktor is cheating on him with a mysterious man whose nudes never reveal his face, but like hell if he's giving this up without a fight. He loves Viktor too much, and he knows Viktor still loves him. Furious with himself, Viktor is desperate to save their marriage as well. Too bad that, much to his horror, he seems to be saying and doing everything wrong. Maybe it's something in the St. Petersburg air. It's seemingly bringing out the worst in them.

[impishlavenderthrone]

Hey.

Hey you.

Please leave Kyle A. Carrozza alone. Especially if you're still planning to go to Youmacon. Double especially if you are only going to the con just to mess with him.

He is a massive fucking scumbag, that much nobody can deny. But believe me, he wants to be bothered at the convention. He is relying on it. DARVO is his M.O., it's all he knows. He used it throughout his abuse of Ang, his friends have used it to defend him. And he is absolutely going to the convention still to continue his DARVO routine.

Walk with me for a bit. (Edit 12/10/2023: added more)

Most of Kyle's mouthpiece friends have all said the same thing - that Kyle, at his big grown age, was traumatised by Ang's Invader Zim porn. Not that he found it disgusting - he specifically used charged language that encourages people to fall in line and support him.

In reality, he was trying to throw dirt on his victim to destroy their credibility if they dared speak up about him. That what he did to them was nothing compared to the traumatising artwork he was subjected to.

It worked, reversed victim and offender achieved.

If you've had the stomach to read through Ang's evidence comprehensively, you can likely spot his DARVO in the very conversations he's had with others.

Reverse victim and offender achieved again.

And now, with the news that Youmacon isn't backing down on having Kyle as a guest, the people are not taking it well. Kyle's twitter has been on constant lockdown since Ang revealed their EOL status. There have been calls to harass Kyle at the convention, in amongst people cancelling their tickets and threatening contact with Youmacon partners. Needless to say, Kyle A. Carrozza is Public Enemy No.1, and his life is in very real danger...

Yet he is still attending.

It's foolish, right? Swarms of people are surrounding an event like vultures, knowing exactly What You Did, and itching for a reason to punish you... and you still go? Where is the self preservation? Ladies, gentleman, and others of differing persuasion, Kyle is playing the long game. He knows there's people out there who want to hurt him - he's relying on it.

His past is littered with him pushing for the victim label in whatever scenario he can manage, even if it's totally inappropriate for him to do so. He's daring people to attack him... so he can turn around and pin it back onto Ang.

Making Ang the offender and him the victim, once again.

If you can't stem your hatred for this despicable man, then focus on your support for Ang. Ang has expressed multiple times that the do not want harm to come to any of their abusers.

As grim as it is to say, think about Ang's legacy.

Think about what your actions say about them.

Think about how Kyle and his defenders will twist your actions as malice rather than grief.

Think about what we as a community stand for - anti harassment, anti doxxing, anti harm, and most importantly pro accountability

I understand we're all hurting. I understand that, after all our pleas, we've been effectively kicked in the teeth once again. When I heard Ang and Puppy's news, I could feel my very soul being crushed. If I was allowed, I would have rot in my bed in grief. I, too, wanted vengeance.

But that's not what Ang wants, and it is everything we stand against. Please, please, please; if you or a friend are considering harming Carrozza or Youmacon staff, reconsider. Find that spot of humanity and humility in your being, and hold it close.

Don't let Carrozza and his ilk attack what we stand for.

Edit 1, 12/10/2023:

[Image ID: a thread of three tweets by Twitter user alacruxe AKA "mill nai the violence guy" that reads as follows:

"If you're a supporter of Ang and you're attending Youmacon, DO NOT engage with Kyle Carrozza. Do not follow him, do not speak to him, do not go to his panels. He'll have supporters flocking to him and they will record you out of context and dox you. Do. Not. Engage."

"I know it's tempting to have your moment, but you will not be helping. Show support by boycotting and continue to pressure industry figures to take notice. Crowding the guy and yelling at him that he's a murderer has only made him double down. His stance is not going to change."

"At the end of the day, what the oblivious public is going to see is a bunch of people dogpiling a guy and trying to cancel him, and you just know the news media is going to eat that shit up. Please don't act in a way that's going to spin the public narrative against Ang." End Image ID]

Another important contribution from Twitter that I found. Seriously, leave that asshole alone.

[kyufessions]

How much can I really eat until I manifest actual issues and have to go through surgeries just so I can do normal things? 😭😭 it’s already hard out here for us chubby babes, but to promote living the same lifestyle is so much more harmful.. I don’t know why people are so blind to it :( (not hate I just don’t understand why people promote obesity)

i’m not sure if im understanding what ur trying to get at, so correct me if im wrong because i am most definitely half asleep from working a long work day.

but just because people discuss being fat and loving themselves the way they are, does not mean they are promoting obesity in the slightest. just because someone is fat doesn’t mean they’re unhealthy whatsoever. and that’s what people don’t understand and/or refuse to acknowledge that hard fact.

for example, i have been fat my entire life due to my genetics aka something out of my control. i then learned i have PCOS, something, once again, out of my control when it comes to weight gain. all of my personal health issues have to do with my brain condition, mental illness, and my heart. none of my health conditions have anything to do with my weight.

a fat person talking about how much they love themselves is not promoting obesity. a fat person showing skin is not promoting obesity. a fat person talking about what they ate for lunch is not promoting obesity. a fat person simply existing in their beautiful skin that the universe created for them in their one life to live is not promoting obesity. why should someone spend their amount of time given to them on earth worrying about something their doctor isn’t concerned about?

my viewing is this: we all are given one life to live. whether u believe in reincarnation or not, i still believe we have at least this life to live. and we deserve to live it to the fullest. we deserve to live it not giving a single fuck about how others view us as long as we’re doing what we want happily with loved ones who throughly support us through thick and thin. regardless of size, nationality, ethnicity, age, sexuality, religion, etc. we deserve to experience utter happiness in the life we were brought into. and anyone who tries to bring others down for ANY of those listed above needs to reevaluate how they wanna live their life. because if you want to spend your ONE LIFE bringing others down like that and not educating yourself when google is free, that’s very sad.

as for wanting surgeries and such and wanting to feel ‘normal’, there is no normal. because yourself is the ‘normal’. if that makes sense. i used to feel that way too to be honest, wanting to be skinny. lose a bunch of weight. get surgery just so i can fit into a certain view frame that certain people wanted for me. but i stopped thinking that way a while ago because in reality, i’d rather have people in my life love and cherish me for my authentic self rather than anything different. id rather be loved as a fat person. because people who are in my life who authentically cherish me as a human being, they don’t care about my size. and i came to realize that. i just wish i had been able to tell myself that sooner because it would’ve saved me a ton of heartache and self deprecation.

please remember you are loved for who you are, both inside and out. and if someone doesn’t they don’t deserve you in the slightest.

[ru-star]

Okay, I read this and have never related to anything more in my life. I'm glad OP is living a more happy (While still depressed, I felt that sugar) Mature life, Id like to add my own opinion into this if I may.

While the original post was from 3 years ago over an Instagram Harry Potter influencer Starbucks drink, and some poor sap thinking that the drink was good but turns out the recipe was bad on itself, I’d like to add to this in my own opinion based on what I have read in this post.

If you, or anyone you know tries to make this sorta thing without the knowledge of how Starbucks or that specific Job/industry works, please don't try to post something you think is good for others to try, when in reality it’s just a waist of time or money.

$10 for a syrup-filled drink isn't something I'd be willing to pay for as a customer tbh. That alone is a hell no for me. I'd rather pay for 2 tall boba drinks with jelly boba that's $15 than a coffee-filled syrup mess.

This is like, if a person being depressed tried to talk to someone based on how their feeling depressed, and that person ends up saying “Than just don't be depressed” or “Just be happy” is like an ultimate slap to the face to the person who just tried to get comfort and or help before it got to the point of Self harm or Suicide.

Now, I worked in daycare as both a teacher's Aid, and as a Teacher, and I know that if someone, who has never worked with children, or even has children, let alone babysat kids, tries to tell me how to do something a certain way, even if I've already tried that or know it won't work, would ultimately piss me off to no end, especially if they kept pushing that thing onto me.

Ultimately what I'm saying is, if you know a drink that's simple to make that others would enjoy, post and share it! There's no harm in it, but if you're trying to make something like what OP had said in their post 3 years ago over an Influencers post on a cute Starbucks-themed drink who may or may not have zero knowledge of how the hell Starbucks even works, then please, save everybody some time and effort and don't post that shit for others to try. It's like tempting a toddler to eat a bag full of Typods by leaving it out and opened for them to reach.

If you wanted to make your own theme with a full ‘how-to-do’ step-by-step on the making and receiving process, you also gotta have if not at least different types of milk options as everything you use depends on a personal taste.

Say person A likes their drinks sweet, but person B doesn't. Say they both saw it and make it like the recipe says by said influencer. While Person A likes it and it fits their pallet, Peraon B might be lactose and ends up in a form of pain bc and or in the bathroom bc of how sweet it is along with the milk. And anyone who can't drink actual milk, myself included, knows that even just a glass of that shit can make you run for the hills very quickly if you don't use a different type of milk like Almond or 2% Milk.

Its better to have different options for different types of recipes, and yes I know that not a lotta people are willing to go the extra step and try this out with different things, and just wanna make it once and call it a day, yet honestly I find those influencers who do that to be amazing and who actually care about people who might have those issues and wants everybody to enjoy what they created and to have fun.

And yes I have made my own version of a Starbucks drink before and yes it was on the cheaper side and no I have never worked at a Starbucks before but here is something I used to drink before buying the stuff got a little expensive. You can find it at Walmart if you're in the U.S. but for other countries you can use whatever doesn't harm ya or make you bloated.

Get a glass or cup (I prefer my mason jar with a steal straw bc save the turtles).

Either get caramel syrup, chocolate, or whatever you use or none at all, and squirt it into the cup before spinning it around to create a fancy-looking pattern before maybe, if your like me and like the caramel ribbons in the straw, put some at the bottom of the cup to your liking.

You can fill it with crushed or solid ice, doesn't matter bc its gonna be cold anyhow.

Pour in whatever milk you wanna use, this can also be used for creamer and or a froth-like base that you can blend or use that spinny tool for that's overpriced but creates foam anyhow so who cares.

Next, your coffee, I usually use Delight Iced Coffee liquid coffee, but if you have more time than I do, use whatever normal coffee you use and pour that shit into whatever amount you wanna use as doing measurements variables on person to person. I personally just measure until it gets a little high before stopping.

Next, whipped cream. I usually use a lot but just enough to go over the rim of the cup but again, use as much or as little as you like.

Finally, add your syrup or nonsyrup to the whipped cream, and boom. Straw time.

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

[nahalism]

heyyyyy 🖤 ofc ignore and dont feel pressured to answer if this goes into too personal territory. Did you ever get diagnosed/got suspected personality disorder(s) and (if yes) did it give you any guidance/deeper understanding of yourself?

<3 heyy, — i havent been diagnosed with a personality disorder, although there was a period of time i questioned if i had bpd, specifically quiet bpd. there are still symptoms of bpd i resonate with, but they could be related to other mental health issues ive dealt with (depression, anxiety, cptsd etc) so idk. tbh, because of how cloudy it all gets, i no longer look to being diagnosed as a solution. i personally dont want to be medicated, & outside of medication, allopathic medicine (imo) doesnt have answers or solutions for the 'issues' i face. ive used therapy during moments where i feel unable to look after myself/see the situation at hand clearly, (mostly to make sure i dont regress / i have someone objectively able to evaluate my decision making, which helps a lot cause when im spiralling i can doubt myself & feel out of touch with reality) but thats about it.

that said, every symptom ive dealt with/deal with, has helped me understand myself. the way i see it every problem pushes you toward its solution. e.g, (trigger warning) self harm was a symptom of the issues i was dealing with. it led me to understand that i struggled with regulating my emotions and that i held a lot of rage. i also realised that when i experience deep rage (rooted in fear), i take it out on myself, not on others. partly cause i didnt want to harm people, also because as much as the people, or situations i was in, caused me harm, i didnt want to push them away/give them a reason to 'leave me/my life' because that would reopen wounds i had regarding abandonment and not being good enough. each realisation was something i had to confront and deal with individually. thats just one example, but hopefully it details how i acknowledge symptoms i experience, then unpack them to point me in the direction of solving the issue.

knowing these things doesnt make the issue disappear. i still get distressed, and at times my impulse is still to hurt myself. but because ive taken time to understand the issue, i have coping mechanisms in place that help me self regulate and put things in perspective (e.g journaling, mindfulness practices, learning to address situations, and communicate my issues rather than take it out on myself). at first its not easy and it feels like 90% failing. sometimes you'll know the right thing to do, & not want to do it, orrr be doing the wrong thing whilst knowing what the right thing to do is. but awareness is the first step, and eventually it gets easier. over time (and by choice) ive learned to respond to myself with love. even though i have urges to be self destructive, i have enough compounded experience and perspective on what being destructive does to me and the people i care about to not do it. deeper than that, ive trained myself to stop recognising stress and chaos as 'normal' or my baseline. shadow work helps with this a lot. id recommend reading 'owning your own shadow' by robert a johnson, it helped me understand what to do with the left over destructive energy i was no longer using & how to put it into creativity rather than let it be damaging—

i know this was super long but i had to be specific because imo theres a lot of people who claim personality disorders are a life sentence / or who demonise people who struggle with them and that something i have never agreed with or felt was fair. i do think recovery is possible. however please bare in mind, im sharing my experience & whilst i stand on it & believe it can work for anyone, i have not been diagnosed with a personality disorder. it is completely possible ive found solutions to an issue/symptom that crosses over but does not belong to the issue ur asking me about. (e.g someone could use ashwaganda to solve their anxiety & panic attacks, but that might not work for someone who has panic attacks triggered by ptsd). the way i went about things was unconventional. it worked for me, but has taken a long time, has not been easy & im aware its not a path everyone would choose. (im not saying that to be quirky. its literally given me everything but cost everything in the process). if this resonates and feels like something you can do i highly recommend it. but if you begin to struggle, get lost in the weeds or feel like medication/therapy & whatever other solution better suits you, plsplspls do what it right for you and safest for you.

🖤 sending u big love. i hope this helped

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro lmao my favorite faketivism social media trend rn is that hollow tunnel vision shit that goes like. “[person that is blatantly experiencing symptoms of a different but similar mental illness/disability], is just them FAKING [illness they claim to have], which is ABLEIST, bc they are PRETENDING” like honey if theyre experiencing delusions abt what they have going on or are self harming/being dangerous for ‘attention’ tm or are having unyielding obsessive thoughts abt their health or perhaps maybe its just that like idk medical science (which has been ableist and wrong before!) just hasnt caught/studied their issue enough yet. they are not ableist for not accurately recognizing the root problem theyre experiencing, they are in fact still obviously mentally ill and deserve not just professional help for the issues they are experiencing, but they need your fuckin support, respect, and some basic maturity honestly??? man can yall try and filter your actions for bias sometimes, grow up and stop bein selfish. i mean its truly just cruel and self centered to reject others and act like theyre bad and therefore arent ‘allowed’ to get help for themselves if they make a mistake and put themselves in your space when they dont align perfectly with you. like. stop the annoying clique behavior actually thats so ugly to keep perpetuating, you should be capable of dealing with this using an ounce of sympathy and tact. just bc they got the diagnosis wrong doesnt mean you get to try and ban them from the mental illness/disability community, as if this ‘mental illness/disability diagnosis’ concept really is just a ticket to get into a fun lil secret community area to you and not kinda also about uhm, Social Protection From Oppressive Forces, And Medical Analysis That Can Legally Give You Access To The Assistance You Require To Function And Thrive Happily On A Daily Basis , WHICH MATTERS, NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE, OR HOW ~WRONG~ YOU ARE THE FIRST TIME, OR WHO YOU SEEK OUT FOR SUPPORT, BC HOW DARE YOU DO THAT RIGHT, ASK PPL FOR SUPPORT??? LIKE IM,,,,, LITERALLY HOW DO YOU UNDERDEVELOPED ASSHOLES SLEEP AT NIGHT WITH ALL THE FAKE MORAL BULLSHIT HASHTAGS IN UR BIOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CAUSING UNBRIDLED SOCIAL HARM TO WHOEVER U WANNA SINK UR CLAWS INTO LITERALLY WHENEVER ITS CONVENIENT TO VALIDATE ALL THE HIDDEN GROSS TRAITS YOU HAVENT UNWORKED YET BC U WANT CLOUT AND NOT PROGRESS

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[pinkhairedlily]

Chapter 6 - Student Council President Sakura

SCPS AO3 | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“When’s your birthday, Sasuke?” Naruto asked unprompted. He was eating an onigiri in one hand and writing in a notebook with another. “Captain Haru gave me a journal and told me to fill in the dates.”

“Why are you treating it like a slam book?”

“What’s a slam book? Why are you even changing the topic?”

“July 23.”

Naruto went silent for a moment as he jotted down Sasuke’s name. “Oh, last week? During our sleepover?”

“You mean, hostage sleepover.”

“Ah shit. We didn’t get you a present. Sorry, grumpy.” Naruto’s face was sincerely apologetic and Sasuke was on the verge of nonchalantly assuring him that it was all right when he heard his following reply. “But make sure you get me one okay. It will be on October 10.”

“I wish I was allowed to physically harm you right now but your training next week will suffice,” Sasuke jested right back. “I’ll put in a word with Haru to make you suffer.” He would have said more clapbacks if they didn’t hear loud footsteps running their way.

Their two heads popped just a few inches above the bushes that lined behind the fence and saw a disheveled Sakura catching her breath with bent knees and her arms full of folders. Sasuke surmised she might have come from a council meeting.

“It’s Sakura – “ Sasuke covered Naruto’s loud mouth with his palm.

Her phone rang inside her skirt’s pockets, and her expression panicked when she saw the caller id. The folders fumbled out of her grasp when she answered it. “Oh hello, Kakashi-sensei.”

Both the boys’ brows raised in curiosity when her voice went a pitch higher.

“Ah, I’m actually out of the campus right now, Sensei. Got an errand to run. I’ll see you for consultations…..soon?” Then she ended the call. They all heard another set of footsteps nearing their location, and Sakura repeatedly said I’m screwed to herself.

Naruto wrestled out of Sasuke’s headlock and pulled a surprised Sakura inside their hiding place. The latter grumbled but quickly gathered the folders from the ground and followed suit. Three heads now looked over the bushes, and true enough, Kakashi appeared in the clearing with his phone in his hand. “That’s funny. I thought I heard her voice here.”

When they were sure he was out of their sight and earshot, Sasuke signaled a thumbs up, and Naruto, not missing a beat, started with the obvious question. “Why are you hiding from our mathematics teacher?”

Sakura blushed with intensity, her cheeks the color of cherry tomatoes with a ripeness Sasuke liked the most. She flushed so intensely she couldn’t hide it for her sake. The thought of wanting to have that kind of privilege crossed his mind. “Uh, he wanted a report from me, but I wasn’t able to finish it.” Like the self-aware person that she was, she immediately got her bearings and recognized the place. “This is behind the library.”

“It’s Sasuke’s favorite hiding place until I barged in. And now, it’s yours too.” Naruto grinned at her even when he just revealed this place’s existence to their student council president.

“Shouldn’t you be asking me permission first?” Sasuke arranged the folders first before returning them to Sakura who seemed to calm down a bit.

She laughed dryly. “Technically, it’s public property so we don’t need your permission…grumpy.”

Naruto erupted in laughter while Sasuke closed his eyes in annoyance. Two loud-mouths in what was supposed to be in his safe space and yet all he felt was just mild annoyance. Stopping his thoughts before they ran him aground, he rummaged through their storage bin and found an extra sandwich he bought this morning and the last pack of his cherry tomato juice.

He passed the food to her and gave her a little bit of scolding. “At least have your lunch first before making fun of me.”

“You’re really giving her a tomato juice?” Naruto never could hide his disgust for certain food. “Don’t tell me this is your rite of passage.”

Sasuke glared at the blonde, forcing him to shut up. “Bring any more people here, and I’ll tell your captain to drag you to hell.” That wasn’t so difficult, given that Haru has taken a liking to him, for what he didn’t know. He just treated him like a big brother would, like Itachi would.

Sakura took a sip in the middle of their banter, and she emitted a surprised sound. “So this is what it tasted like? It’s actually good.”

That was the first time someone liked what he liked, and he vaguely realized he was waiting for her opinion. With that, he had trouble suppressing the smile that started to form on his face, so he looked away and mustered his focus on the nearby yells of a practicing dragonboat team.

“Oh, I forgot, belated happy birthday Sasuke.”

He strengthened his resolve not to turn his head just as quickly because he was sure the shock was visible in his face. He was so taken aback he didn’t hear Naruto ask Sakura where she learned of it.

“I came across our class records during the meeting and saw the date. Sucks we weren’t able to get you a present. Anyway, I gotta run. I have another presentation to the principal for a personal project.” Sakura finished off her sandwich in one bite and ran out of the secluded space.

Naruto stared after her disappearing figure, the bunched-up juice carton and sandwich wrapper in his hands. “I should make her a decent lunch sometime. I don’t think she’s eating well.”

But Sasuke had another observation in mind. “Why didn’t you ask for her birthday?”

“I know already. I asked Hinata about it.”

--------------------------------

Sakura tried to catch up with the baseball captain in the seniors’ hallways before she would lose him to his after classes dates with Hinata. “Haru, wait up please.”

His brown hair has grown longer to hide his undercut which Naruto wanted to replicate as he often mentioned in between their conversations in classes. It was actually a wonder how the usually demure Hinata gravitated towards Haru who had a strong personality. His annoyed gaze softened when he realized it was her calling him, his smile turning into a wide grin as she raced through the halls.

“No running, Ms. President,” he chided.

Sakura playfully punched his shoulder, her fist’s impact light as she struggled to catch her breath. “Can I at least have some of your time? I promise I won’t take long.”

The captain’s face took on an incredulous look. “How the tables have turned.”

They found themselves on a rooftop, away from the incidental eavesdroppers (if there were any), and moreover they needed some quiet space to talk about important matters. The first of which was the baseball team’s finances.

“I gotta hand this to you rather straightforwardly. The board didn’t foresee your qualification in the preliminaries hence they didn’t allot a big budget for your team – not for training, not for travel expenses, not for uniforms, and miscellaneous expenses.” He towered over her, her height a third short from his shoulders, but when he hunched them forward and leaned against the railings, he was almost shoulder to shoulder with her. “So what are your plans?”

Back in junior high, he would often ruffle her hair out of her immaculate ponytail, and this closeness wasn’t really odd because they were from the same town and grew on the same block. Distance just crept in as they made more friends and entered different circles.

“My personal savings,” Haru simply replied. “Our coach will chip in half of our projected expenses so we’re good to go.”

Sakura sighed. “As always, you don’t like to rely on anyone.”

“We’re not really too far from each other, Sakura. So what’s your plan anyway?” Haru turned with his back this time against the railing.

“Pass-the-Hat.”

Haru nodded. “And your savings.”

Sakura shook her head vehemently. “Hell no.”

“Gears are turning in your head, and I can see you’ll fill in a part with your savings. Stop it, Haruno.”

“I’m telling you, I won’t give you a part of my savings. Anyway – “

“Anyway? There’s more?” Haru hastily looked at his watch to check the time, almost formed a reply, and thought better of it, hiding his wrist from his view.

“I saw your career sheet form. You know you could always try to apply for an athletic scholarship, right?” If she can hazard a guess, Haru may not be planning at all to proceed to college. He always has his father’s fishing business to take over back in their town.

“No association would vet for a player who only qualified for prelims on his senior year.” Haru playfully ruffled her hair, the gesture she thought was once forgotten between them. “So don’t feel sorry for me. I already have Hinata to deal with.”

“You sound so pessimistic when you’re just going away for a year until she decides to follow you. Your story’s almost like a fairytale,” Sakura scoffed.

“First of all, long distance relationships don’t work and second and last of all, there’s her father to think about.” Haru let out a long sigh. “Believe me, Sakura, I want to make it work, but I feel like the distance between us had already set in even before I go.”

--------------------------------

Haru was right. While Pass-the-Hat garnered lots of amounts enough to shoulder the logistics of the training of the baseball team before the semis, there wasn’t enough to pay for their new equipment. She could ask the teachers, but she knew Haru and the coach have already asked for prior favors. At the last minute before the trip got cancelled, Sakura anonymously put in two-thirds of her savings into the donations pool which the captain got wind of and somehow reached Kakashi.

While she was successful in avoiding him for the first few days of the school trip while Naruto and his team was in Fukuoka, he caught her alone as she was reading the markers outside the walls of a castle.

“Haruno Sakura.” His voice startled her. She turned around, like a good student that she was, and waved a bit too enthusiastically. “Mind telling me why you won’t talk to me outside of our council meetings? Did I say any directive that offended you or overworked you? I need to have an open communication with you kids.”

Kids. “Ah, I was just a little busy these past weeks,” Sakura assured him. She nervously fidgeted with his rubber band that was still on her wrist. His eyes followed her movements, and she hid them quickly behind her back, afraid of what he would say if he realized.

“I heard from the principal that he greenlighted your personal project, and that you will be presenting this to the board next week for a possible funding. You accomplished that on top of the feats you pulled to bring the baseball team to the semis.” As Kakashi recounted her accomplishments, she couldn’t help the blush that rose to her cheeks. She was finding it difficult to say an excuse right now. “So I’m returning your personal donation.”

Sakura stared at him directly, never mind the raven irises that drowned her in undivided attention. “What?” He smiled, highlighting even more his mole, and she gasped, breathless at the sight.

“Don’t worry your pretty head over these things. You’re too young for this. I’ll have the funds downloaded to your bank, all right.” Kakashi patted her head softly and disappeared in the meandering crowds.

She slapped the rubber band against the thin skin of her wrist repeatedly. She didn’t know whether she should feel grateful that her savings were back or feel angry that she was patronized because of her age. Didn’t Kakashi know that teenagers grow up faster than their actual age and that she had every right to worry her pretty head? When will he start seeing her as she was?

Her self-deprecating thoughts ran awry when someone took hold of her wrist that has gone red from the slap of the rubber band.

For someone who alternated between being grim-faced or stoic, Sasuke’s hand was gentle and kind. She knew that ever since she saw him in the café, all the good things in him seeping out through cracks in his wall. Right now, she knew he was worried about the supportless baseball team.

“They’re losing, aren’t they?” Sakura suppressed the overwhelming emotions from her earlier interaction with Kakashi and concocted a plan in her head.

She coordinated with the guides and had them add a stop at the baseball field at Fukuoka for one last hurrah for the team.

--------------------------------

Thirty minutes later, their school witnessed how the top teams decimated Naruto’s team. No innings won, batters relentless, and Haru got injured. Sakura, sensing the dampened atmosphere among the student body, rallied yells, earning surprised looks from the team members.

Through the crowds, Sasuke saw Hinata, her fingers twirling the ends of her long braid, and her eyes scanning the place for her boyfriend…until her gaze shifted to Naruto. He traversed the space to stand beside her, breaking his own rule to remain uninvolved in other people’s affairs.

But he owed this to Naruto and Haru who never failed to include him in after practice dinners and effectively kept the gaping depression in his apartment away.

“Your boyfriend has a broken arm, but you’re looking at Naruto.” He said, even before he could announce his presence to her.

Hinata turned her face to him and repeated his words. “My boyfriend has a broken arm but I cannot look at broken limbs for too long. Thanks for pointing that out.”

“There’s a second statement after my but.”

“Hmm, my eyes just probably gravitated to him unknowingly. But it couldn’t be helped, right? He just has this bright, sunshine energy.” Hinata shrugged, seemingly confused by her words as well.

Sasuke wanted to prod more but her eyes narrowed at something behind him. When he glanced back, he saw Sakura stood in tiptoes as she hugged a downtrodden Naruto. If he wasn’t so sad, he would have blushed and awkwardly pushed his crush away, but for this instance, he choked back his sobs and eventually cried on her shoulder.

“Maybe the student council can also support other teams which are gearing up for nationals. You may suffer backlash if favoritism becomes obvious.”

He scoffed at Hinata’s advice. “I’ll tell our student council president that.”

Sasuke made his way to the blonde and pinkette, his arms engulfing both of their heads in a very rare hug. He felt Sakura stiffen beneath him while Naruto changed shoulders and cried openly against Sasuke’s shirt.

This he didn’t mind, as long as both of their faces were hidden from her view.

AO3 LINK | NEXT CHAPTER | CHAPTER 7

[evesbeve]

Hey there, you said your ask box was open for Justin Min's whole thing? I guess I just slept through the whole thing, honestly - could you just go over a gist of everything that happened? I get that it seems like a PR team didn't know how to use twitter (which, mood) and f-ed things up for him, but what were they "cleaning up" in the first place, who's Anna what did they do that warranted such a bizarre thread from the PR team, etc...? 😳

Hey! Okay so this is going to be a lot, so buckle up.

Right off the bat, I just want to say that Justin isn’t cancelled. The situation has been mostly resolved right now (more on that later).

So around a week ago, Justin Min started deleting his replies to fans. Depending on whether you’re on Twitter or not, you might know that Justin is one of the most interactive people of the cast. He knows a lot of fans by name, he has inside jokes with us, and he just interacts a lot with his fanbase. So you can imagine why him suddenly starting to delete his replies was a bit upsetting. There was nothing we could do about it though.

And suddenly, two days ago, Justin deactivated his account out of nowhere, which caused all kinds of drama to go down.

People started pointing the finger at specific accounts saying it was their fault that Justin deactivated (don’t even get me started on that logic; why a grown-ass adult deactivate because of a few teenagers is above me, it literally made no sense), even sending death threats. Others suspected that he got suspended because Twitter’s algorithm saw all these tweets get deleted and was like “welp, bot time.” Long story short, lots of misinformation was going around.

And then out of the blue, Justin’s account was reactivated, and he made a thread directed at Anna.

Now, who is Anna? Anna is a stan on twitter, whose @ I won’t be sharing for privacy, but here’s how they’re relevant in this:

Remember when I mentioned the inside jokes? Well, one of them was between a fan called Matt and Justin. Matt kept commenting on Justin’s tweets asking him to say trans rights. On the one year anniversary of Matt asking Justin to say trans rights, Justin finally said it. Then, Matt made a poll asking other stans what he should have Justin say next, and lesbian rights won.

Around a month ago, Matt replied to one of Justin’s tweets, and Justin responded with something along the lines of “haha, i know this is just an attempt to get me to say lesbian rights,” referencing the inside joke. People started commenting that the way he phrased it was a bit :/ so then he replied to his own tweet with something like “well, i’ll delete this before i get cancelled,” and that’s when things spiraled.

[id: Justin Min’s tweet #1: i see that you are trying to butter me up to say lesbian rights, nice try, matt. nice try.

Justin Min’s tweet #2: oh, here we go. this is an inside joke between myself and matt, if you’ve been a part o fthis fandom for more than a few weeks. but alas, i will have to delete this now before i’m cancelled by the end of the day. keep loving, everyone.]

Lesbians get spoken over and looked down upon not only by straight people, but also the LGBT community. So when Justin tweeted that, lesbians were like “this sounds as if you care more about your own self image rather than our community.” Then, non-lesbians got involved and started either a) calling Justin lesbophobic (which lesbians never did) or b) blindly defending Justin and saying he did nothing wrong.

(Side note: I am not a lesbian, and I’m not trying to speak over lesbians in this situation. But I did talk about this to some of my friends who are lesbians, and they told me that what Justin did wasn’t as big of a deal as Twitter made it out to be. These are their words, not mine. All I know is that it was definitely not bad-intentioned, just a huge misunderstanding.)

Anyway, Anna made a thread explaining to Justin why him defending himself came out as harmful towards the lesbian community, and then Justin apologised and that was it.

Which brings us back to yesterday (26/9/2020).

Everyone is freaking out, posting misinformation, panicking. I don’t exactly,,, know how, but the #justinminisoverparty hashtag started being used for actual hate towards Justin for deactivating, and some people (including Anna, though I think their tweet was in the context of a joke? please take this with a grain of salt though. update: it was in the context of a joke) mentioned that Justin is a lesbophobe.

A few hours later, Justin reactivated his account, tagged Anna, and said this (though it was actually his PR team, more on that later):

[id: Justin’s Tweet: @ [redacted] quickly jumping back on here from my twt break because i’m receiving messages that you’re continuing to spread misinformation, so i want to clarify.]

[id: Justin’s Tweets: 1. all of my interactions with you were deleted because of the need to set clear boundaries due to the fact that your incessant messages and replies from multiple accounts over the last several months were veering into stalking/harassment.

2. for someone who appears to pride themselves on reminding their friends/followers on a daily basis to be careful of the language they use on this app, you seem to be fine with flippantly labeling someone as homophobic/lesbophobic as if they’re cute little adjectives to give to someone, not realizing that such labels have real-life consequences.]

[id: Justin’s Tweets: 3. also noting here than in your original thread, you stated that you neither considered me nor my words to actually be lesbophobic, so a bit confused as to why your story has suddenly changed.

4. i realize you’re young, so i’m genuinely hoping you use this opportunity to learn and grow andbe a little more mindful the next time you decide to tweet.]

The next twenty minutes were pure chaos. Justin deactivated again, everyone started freaking out because that was very out of character for him. People were cancelling him because this could have easily been resolved in DMs, or tweeted without the mention of Anna (a minor) from a mainstream Twitter account.

And then, Justin Min DMed another fan on Instagram (her name is Em) about the situation.

Who is Em? For starters, I’d like to say that I personally know Em and that she’s one of my best friends. I’ve known her for more than a year now, and I can personally vouch for her. Everything that she posted is 100% true (if you want the thread where she posts proof of the DMs, please send me a different ask because I’m scared tumblr will not post this in the tag if I include it here).

The reason Justin DMed her out of all people is because he also kinda knows her? As I mentioned, Justin interacts with us on Twitter a lot, and Em is the one person he’s responded to the most, so he knows who she is. (He’s tagged her more times than other cast members, at least before all his tweets were deleted by his PR team.)

Anyway, this is what Em tweeted:

[id: Em’s tweets: please read this !!!

justin dmed me on instagram and basically the gist of it is that he hired a pr team and they tweeted the thread at anna without knowing everyone could see it. all of the tweets being deleted/ him deactivating was also them.]

Below is the image Em attached to the tweet:

[id: Justin’s DM to Em: hey. this is justin. i’m just hearing about what’s happening on twitter right now. for context, i was asked to work with a team of people to “clean up” my twitter in the past few weeks. they’ve taken the liberty of deleting a bunch of my responses and posts in order to safeguard me (whatever that means) as well as deactivating my account to comb through other things.i believe they accidentally sent anna a message and mistakenly believed the function for her to comment only would mean that she would be the only one to see it as well. needless to say, i’m no longer working with this team and want to personally apologize to her. do you know any way i can get into contact with her?]

And then, in a follow-up tweet:

[id: Em’s text at Justin: sorry for dming you again. is there any other way i can help? i just feel really bad about this whole thing and i know how quickly this stuff can spread if it’s not taken care of

Justin’s text: i mean, i guess you can share the information i’ve given you? it’ll take a bit of time for me to take back ownership on everything as i sever ties with that team, so maybe the sooner the better people know.

Em’s text: okay ! is it okay if i tweet a screenshot

Justin’s text: sure.]

Then Justin’s account got reactivated an hour ago (almost 24hs after Em’s tweets), and he tweeted this:

[id: Justin’s tweet: hi. it’s me. thank you for all your messages. this has been an incredibly tough week for me on multiple fronts. some things you might already be aware of; many other things you don’t know about.asking for a bit of privacy as i take sometime to unplug. hoping to be back soon.]

And that’s all, I think? There’s lots we don’t know about what happened yet, so please please please try not to spread misinformation. This is a stressful situation for us on Twitter, and especially for Justin, and misinformation going around is the last thing we need right now.

tl;dr: Justin Min hired a PR Team that started deleting all of his tweets and deactivated his account. Misinformation started spreading, people started cancelling Justin for no reason. The PR Team decided to respond to Anna, made the response public, deactivated again. Justin DMed Em and explained the situation, and an hour ago, he reactivated and said he’s taking a small break to sort things out.

If anyone has any other questions/clarifications, my askbox is open! Hope this shed some light on the situation <3

UPDATE 28/9/2020: Justin has DMed and apologised to Anna for the situation, and Anna has accepted the apology. Anna posted all of it on their account, but again, if you want a link, send me an ask!

[a-room-of-my-own]

Hi! Did you see the NewStasteman interview with Judith Butler? The way she framed the whole debate about gender is so depressing, I cannot believe it... And that's without going into the Rowling debate, the more I read about it on Twitter and tumblr and the most depressed I get. How can womanhood be reduced to a feeling anyone can claim?

https://www.newstatesman.com/international/2020/09/judith-butler-culture-wars-jk-rowling-and-living-anti-intellectual-times

I had not seen it so thank you for giving me the opportunity to read it. She’s really manipulative and that’s pretty scary honestly. I picked up a few examples to show you 

“I want to first question whether trans-exclusionary feminists are really the same as mainstream feminists. (…) I want to first question whether trans-exclusionary feminists are really the same as mainstream feminists. (…)I think it is actually a fringe movement that is seeking to speak in the name of the mainstream, and that our responsibility is to refuse to let that happen.  

It’s “our” responsibility to act on something she cannot prove? It’s quite easy to observe that trans-activists are an active minority within the feminist movement. On the other hand, it’s much harder to prove than most people support modern trans-activism in all its implications. She doesn’t give any source, proof or figures to support her claim but ask people to fight for it, nevertheless. That’s faith, not fact. 

If we look closely at the example that you characterise as “mainstream” [the problem of men claiming to be trans to access women’s space] we can see that a domain of fantasy is at work, one which reflects more about the feminist who has such a fear than any actually existing situation in trans life. 

Then again, no proof, when many gender critical bloggers have lists of dozens of examples of men using self-ID to access bathrooms, women’s shelters, women’s prisons, some of them sex offenders.  

The feminist who holds such a view presumes that the penis does define the person, and that anyone with a penis would identify as a woman for the purposes of entering such changing rooms and posing a threat to the women inside. It assumes that the penis is the threat, or that any person who has a penis who identifies as a woman is engaging in a base, deceitful, and harmful form of disguise. This is a rich fantasy, and one that comes from powerful fears, but it does not describe a social reality. 

That’s a lot of words to call women who are afraid of men “hysterical”. #sorority 

Trans women are often discriminated against in men’s bathrooms, and their modes of self-identification are ways of describing a lived reality, one that cannot be captured or regulated by the fantasies brought to bear upon them. The fact that such fantasies pass as public argument is itself cause for worry. 

Word salad that could be translated like this: our priority shouldn’t be protecting women from men, it should be accommodating men, because #notallmen are predators, so it would be very unfair to them, uwu. Men’s concerns should always be considered while women who are afraid are irrational. 

I am not aware that terf is used as a slur.  

I’m 99% sure that’s a lie, but okay. 

I wonder what name self-declared feminists who wish to exclude trans women from women's spaces would be called? If they do favour exclusion, why not call them exclusionary? 

Women who want to have spaces without men should be called exclusionary, because we define women based on their relationship with men and how they include them. Suuuuure. 

If they understand themselves as belonging to that strain of radical feminism that opposes gender reassignment, why not call them radical feminists? My only regret is that there was a movement of radical sexual freedom that once travelled under the name of radical feminism, but it has sadly morphed into a campaign to pathologise trans and gender non-conforming peoples. 

We’re not the ones telling you can cure a psychological problem with cross-sex hormones and amputations, but we are the one pathologizing trans and GNC people. That’s hi-la-rious.  

My sense is that we have to renew the feminist commitment to gender equality and gender freedom in order to affirm the complexity of gendered lives as they are currently being lived. 

Meaningless word salad > "women should let men redefine the word woman as they please"

Let us be clear that the debate here [between people who support JKR and others] is not between feminists and trans activists. There are trans-affirmative feminists, and many trans people are also committed feminists. So one clear problem is the framing that acts as if the debate is between feminists and trans people. It is not. One reason to militate against this framing is because trans activism is linked to queer activism and to feminist legacies that remain very alive today. 

TLDR: Real feminist can only be trans-supporters. 

Feminism has always been committed to the proposition that the social meanings of what it is to be a man or a woman are not yet settled. We tell histories about what it meant to be a woman at a certain time and place, and we track the transformation of those categories over time.  

That’s gender for you Judith, not biological sex. Social identities vary, biological sex is a constant. Saying that isn't essentialism.

We depend on gender as a historical category, and that means we do not yet know all the ways it may come to signify, and we are open to new understandings of its social meanings. It would be a disaster for feminism to return either to a strictly biological understanding of gender or to reduce social conduct to a body part or to impose fearful fantasies, their own anxieties, on trans women...  

“Women who are afraid of men are irrational” third instalment.  

Their abiding and very real sense of gender ought to be recognised socially and publicly as a relatively simple matter of according another human dignity. The trans-exclusionary radical feminist position attacks the dignity of trans people.   

Men are whoever they say they are, women are whoever men say they are.  

One does not have to be a woman to be a feminist, and we should not confuse the categories. Men who are feminists, non-binary and trans people who are feminists, are part of the movement if they hold to the basic propositions of freedom and equality that are part of any feminist political struggle.  

Many feminists consider that men can only be feminist allies, so the debate is clearly not settled.  

When laws and social policies represent women, they make tacit decisions about who counts as a woman, and very often make presuppositions about what a woman is. We have seen this in the domain of reproductive rights. So the question I was asking then is: do we need to have a settled idea of women, or of any gender, in order to advance feminist goals?   

Does “woman” need to have a *gasp* definition? Judith is saying it doesn’t. You’ll notice that she doesn’t say that anything about “man” not having a stable definition. She believes it’s possible to fight against misogyny while having no stable definition for what a woman is. Laughable. 

I put the question that way… to remind us that feminists are committed to thinking about the diverse and historically shifting meanings of gender, and to the ideals of gender freedom. By gender freedom, I do not mean we all get to choose our gender. Rather, we get to make a political claim to live freely and without fear of discrimination and violence against the genders that we are. 

Word salad > “we don’t get to choose our gender but we get to choose it I am very smart"

Many people who were assigned “female” at birth never felt at home with that assignment, and those people (including me) tell all of us something important about the constraints of traditional gender norms for many who fall outside its terms.   

Many women have internalized misogyny and homophobia, which in turn had a huge impact on their sense of self and self-esteem, but that doesn’t mean they’re not women Judith. And I don’t think any woman who was forcefully married, who had her vulva mutilated for religious reasons, had to wear a veil since she was a toddler, or was sold as a child into prostitution ever “felt at home” with having been born a girl, you absolute unit.  

Feminists know that women with ambition are called “monstrous” or that women who are not heterosexual are pathologised. We fight those misrepresentations because they are false and because they reflect more about the misogyny of those who make demeaning caricatures than they do about the complex social diversity of women. Women should not engage in the forms of phobic caricature by which they have been traditionally demeaned. And by “women” I mean all those who identify in that way. 

That was going so well until the last sentence 

I think we are living in anti-intellectual times, and that this is evident across the political spectrum. 

JB, darling, just read your own word salad and get some self-awareness. 

The quickness of social media allows for forms of vitriol that do not exactly support thoughtful debate. We need to cherish the longer forms. 

Tell that to your supporters Miss I Wasn't Aware TERF Were A Slur.

I am against online abuse of all kinds. I confess to being perplexed by the fact that you point out the abuse levelled against JK Rowling, but you do not cite the abuse against trans people and their allies that happens online and in person. 

Kindergarten argument, but sure. Also, yet again, no proof. 

I disagree with JK Rowling's view on trans people, but I do not think she should suffer harassment and threats. Let us also remember, though, the threats against trans people in places like Brazil, the harassment of trans people in the streets and on the job in places like Poland and Romania – or indeed right here in the US.  

“Threats against JKR are bad BUT have you seen what’s happening in Brazil?”. I’m sorry what? Also, could trans-activist please stop instrumentalizing Brazilian stats, since they reflect the situation of prostituted homosexual transsexuals ?  

 So if we are going to object to harassment and threats, as we surely should, we should also make sure we have a large picture of where that is happening, who is most profoundly affected, and whether it is tolerated by those who should be opposing it. It won’t do to say that threats against some people are tolerable but against others are intolerable. 

NO ONE, literally NO ONE said that threats against trans people were acceptable. In fact, most, if not pretty much all threats, especially physical threats, don’t come from radical feminists, but from men. Basically, what she’s saying is “who cares about threats against JKR, trans people (men) matter more”.  

If trans-exclusionary radical feminists understood themselves as sharing a world with trans people, in a common struggle for equality, freedom from violence, and for social recognition, there would be no more trans-exclusionary radical feminists.  

♫ Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya ♪ 

It is a sad day when some feminists promote the anti-gender ideology position of the most reactionary forces in our society. 

All radical feminists are right wingers, sure. 

Anyway, it's terrible that this kind of article is taken seriously when it could be summed up as "women are irrational and hysterical, men can be women and redefine the word woman if they so wish"...

[againstshame]

A small interview with autistic author Sarah Kurchak

She’s celebrating the release of her memoir, I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder, this week (actually a while ago but has anything this year happened on schedule? Better late than never, right?) I offered to interview her for this blog, and she agreed!

I wanted to talk about her book on this blog because one of the big topics this book deals with is the self-annihilating impulse that we talked about in this post, the shame-related desire to remake yourself into a fundamentally different (non-disabled) person. Kurchak describes her book as a cautionary tale about how harmful putting on an act like that can be.

[ID: cover of the book, a photo of Sarah Kurchak, with pink-dyed hair and a black shirt.]

Please give a brief summary of the book.

I Overcame My Autism And All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder is a collection of moderately connected essays that use moments from my life as a minimally successful late diagnosed autistic person to highlight bigger issues that face many autistic people. Basically, I didn’t want to write my own story and leave it at that. Nor did I think my life was interesting enough to merit an entire book. But I seem to have a facility for writing about autism in a way that intrigues non-autistic people, so I wanted to see if I could use that talent for the greater good in book form.

My basic and slightly muddied thesis is that my life is decent enough, but it hasn’t been without hardships, and that some of those hardships could have been remedied with better services for autistic people, and greater acceptance and understanding. And if someone like me, who has had a number of advantages in life, is struggling as much as I am, how much harder is it for so many other autistic people? And how much more are we currently failing them?

What's this book's origin story? How did you end up writing this memoir rather than some other book, and how did you find your publisher?

“It’s in the book!” feels like such a dick answer to me. But if anyone is interested in a longer (or, arguably, too long) explanation for how I wound up getting an agent, writing this book, and finding a publisher for it, you can find it in the introduction. Along with references to Cronenberg’s The Brood and Balloon Okada.

The short version is that an agent liked a story that I’d published in a literary outlet, and asked if I wanted to write a book. I tried to talk her into repping a novella about slash fiction and pro wrestling that I wrote in my early twenties. Somehow that did not put her off and she gently guided me toward non-fiction ideas. I’d had the title in mind for years at that point, so I threw that out. Then I started to flesh out what kind of book I’d put under it. I still don’t think it’s a proper memoir, but that word’s on the cover, so I guess it is?

(I realize how lucky I am to have found myself in this unlikely situation. But I always feel the need to point out that it took me 18 years of professional writing to find this “overnight” “success.”)

What's one thing you wish you had known about or had access to when you were younger and undiagnosed?

I wish that I could have grown up with a more wholistic idea of myself. When I excelled in school but struggled on the playground, a lot of well-meaning adults who were just trying to help a suffering child get through the day started to tell me that the other kids were jealous of me because I was smart, and that’s why I was being bullied and couldn’t make friends. And that’s a very easy narrative to cling to when you’re a scared and lonely child who is desperate for any sense of self-worth.

It helped me survive school, but I don’t think it benefitted me at all in the long run. It took me a long time to come to terms with how ableist and racist the very concept of intelligence is. I’d grown up thinking it was the only thing I had going for me! I didn’t want to give it up! I wish I could have figured out how harmful the concept was much earlier in life and established a sense of self that was more aware of — and cool with — my strengths and weakness. And more rooted in the idea that my worth came from the fact that I was a human being, and not because I was ostensibly “special” in some way.

A while ago I did an event on this blog where people sent in examples of fiction that helped them feel better about being neurodivergent or disabled, stories that showed them what their future could look like or made them feel less alone. Was there a story that did that for you?

Community premiered a few months after I was diagnosed and I can’t even begin to put into words how much Abed helped me during those early years. And how meaningful Abed and Troy’s friendship was.

Strangely, even though there is nothing at all autistic coded about her, and not a lot I’d consider neurodivergent about her, George in Dead Like Me really spoke to me, too. I think I was just really into the idea of someone getting a late start in life where they could make up for what they hadn’t done before, even if they could never really go back to what their original life was. (This is the only way in which I’d ever view my diagnosis as analogous to death, by the way. It was really quite a positive and helpful experience!)

And a bonus special interest question: Was there a specific match, storyline, or wrestler that made you into a wrestling fan instead of a casual viewer? What was it that caught your attention?

It was Chris Jericho.

In late 2000, I decided to try watching wrestling. I had always hated it, but my new boyfriend (now my husband) was really into it. And he seemed to have good taste otherwise, so I figured I should at least try to understand what the hell had gone wrong with him on this one thing. So I tuned into Raw, and there was this little lippy Canadian causing all sorts of shit. And that was it! All I wanted to do was watch this bratty asshole with a sharp tongue and a hair trigger crying reflex antagonize his opponents and then get flustered if and when things didn’t work out properly. And that’s exactly what I did for about 18 years. Even when I lost interest in wrestling in general, I still loved Jericho.

But it ended as suddenly as it began. Jericho attacked Tetsuya Naito in New Japan in 2018. Other members of LIJ jumped in to protect him. There was a split second where I thought Jericho was going to hit Hiromu Takahashi. And I involuntarily squealed “DON’T YOU TOUCH HIM” at my laptop screen. Friendship ended with Jericho. Hiromu Takahashi is my best wrestler now. (Well, one of the best, at least. Tetsuya Endo forever.)

[ofieugogyshz]

Fic;; The Bonds That Tie Us Together

HELLO HELLO!! This one is based off the latter half of the Looker postgame episode from XY! Mostly because I finally found out why it never unlocked fsjdjsds

Word Count: 14, 320

Content Warnings: Technically child abuse, considering what happens to Emma (16). I took a slightly more realistic approach with that part in the games, where she’s screaming from pain, rather than hand-wave away the idea that “she was never in any harm’s way”. You don’t spend 5 minutes having your character scream on screen at us and then tell us that nothing bad happened to her. If I need any other warnings, please let me know

Pairings: self/Lance. This *is* a self-insert fanfic on a self-ship blog

Characters: Looker, Emma, Lance, myself

-----------------------------------

“Oh good, you know each other. That saves us time then.”

My husband and I exchanged looks. We didn't know why the other had been summoned here by Looker, or how he was unaware exactly how we knew each other. We held up our left hands, showing him the matching rings on our third finger.

“We're married.”

“Oh, good, good, congratulations to the both of you. Anyways--" We exchanged glances as Looker continued on, unaware of the silent conversations we were having, "--the reason I called both of you here to join me is simple: I have a mission that will require help from both of you. With Lance's experience as part of the Pokemon G-Men and Sarah's multiple victory over regional Champions, I am certain that we can take down the person who is behind all these thefts.”

I sighed. It had been a few years since I was last here in Kalos, and Lumiose City was as bright as ever. What I didn't expect was that my return visit would be at the request of an Interpol agent. Over a theft mission. I shouldn't have been requested, as officially I wasn't recognized as someone to work with, like those who held Champion titles. Sure, I had battled and defeated many regions' Leagues and their Elites during my travels, but that never meant that I took up the role of Champion. I had no interest in staying put in my youth, of being the one that a region called on for difficult problems, shaping its future. It was more responsibility than I cared to have. I wanted to travel and try out new things, to experience as much as I could, like the contests, musicals, even the Pokeathlon when it came to Johto! I couldn't do that if I was expected to stay and take up challengers, or be at a region's beck and call. I only challenged each regions' Elites and their Champions because I wanted the recognition of strength that came from it.

Or it had been like that. That fame was waning now, as I had started to shift away from the spotlight. I was tired. Adventure and travel didn't excite me anymore. The League challenges felt all the same. I wanted to stay home now, to try new things or work on anything that interested me. Even though adventure would call me sometimes, I rarely answered anymore.

In this instance, it was quite literal. Looker had a caller id blocker on his phone, and curiosity got the best of me when the mystery number appeared. I answered and listened to his quick talk, asking me to fly out to Lumiose immediately and help him once again with a mission. There wasn't much I could do to deny him his request. I would have felt guilty, knowing that I could have helped but refused. My husband, on the other hand, I fully expected to be called upon to take this job. Not me. He was the one who worked for the Pokemon G-men, who helped people and Pokemon alike. He was the one who was called away for missions, sometimes as far away as Unova. This was normal fare for him.

Individually, Looker had told each of us that we would be working with someone else, and that we'd meet them when we arrived. I don't think either of us expected to be working with the other, especially not since my unofficial retirement. And a mission that seemed like easy, standard fare? I'm not even sure why he needed to import trainers from another region, when Kalos had its own share of strong trainers.

“Do you have any leads on who might be behind this?” I heard Lance ask while my thoughts were drifting away. The sound of his voice pulled me back to the present, and I looked up at Looker, trying to seem more interested.

“Unfortunately, yes.” Looker sighed, pacing back and forth as he considered how much information was worth sharing to us. He stopped, looked at each of us, then the ground, then the ceiling, before giving an aggravated sigh as he tried to smooth back his short hair. “A few months ago, I took in a local girl. She had been living on the streets with that Espurr over there. I couldn't stand by and do nothing, knowing that she had no home, no roof over her head.” My husband and I nodded in sympathy, curious as to where this story of his was going. Looker began pacing again while he spoke, pausing every so often to look at us, ensuring that he still had our attention.

“And, a few weeks ago, she started acting strangely. Didn't tell me what was wrong whenever I asked, always out of the building, leaving Mimi behind to watch the office. I'm not sure if you heard, but a week ago, someone vandalized the paintings at the museum down the street. Sprayed blue paint all over a historic tapestry. The museum's director was beside himself. I took on the case myself when it came to me.

“I walked with Mimi back to the office. I heard the sounds of a Pokemon battle in a nearby alley. On a hunch, I went to investigate, only to find some strange trainer in a bodysuit, like one you could find on that old TV show, Hoenn Rangers. She was stealing the Pokeballs off of her opponent! I rushed in, calling out for her to stop. Mimi ran in, circling her, so excited and happy, as though it was her best friend. It was then that I knew. I haven't seen her without her helmet on, but I am most certain-- the thief is none other than the young girl I had taken in, Emma!”

Looker's voice had quivered ever so slightly as he spoke that last line, as though it was the first time he had ever verbalized it, terrified of the power it might have, that it might speak into existence that which he wanted to refuse. And yet, he was professional enough in that he couldn't deny the clear evidence that the Espurr at his feet had given him.

“This girl... Emma. Had she any ties to criminal activity before?” My husband spoke with all the professionalism he had developed over the years, but I could see that he hated to ask such a thing. It was clear to us that Looker had grown attached to the girl that he took under his wing, maybe even doted on her like a father to a child. But it was a valid question to ask. We knew nothing of this girl; for all we knew, she could have been a malicious entity, preparing some sort of cover with Looker as an unaware alibi or victim.

Looker gave a tsk of annoyance, looking away for a moment. “Not exactly. She had defeated a local city gang with Mimi at her side, and they started to call her boss. However! It wasn't because she wanted them to! Apparently they did it of their own accord. She was so embarrassed about it...  But they all made promises to reform the week that I met them, at our request. I haven't seen any of them stray from the straight and narrow since that talking to.” He sighed, looking at my husband, a pleading expression on his face. “She's a good girl, Lance. I promise you that. I'm just trying to make sure that she leads a better life than one on the streets. And this case I present before you? The reason that I have called the two of you in from so far away? Is the very thing that I do not want for her.”

My husband crossed his arms and nodded. He thought about the information that Looker gave him; I wondered about why we both were called in. It wasn't that it was beyond my capability. But I wasn't sure why he asked me to help, if he had requested Lance specifically from the G-men to help. It was obviously a case that had gotten personal too quickly, and I didn't think of myself to be any personal acquaintance to Looker. We only met a few times during my years of travel, working together at his request. I was certain he had other acquaintances that he could rely upon than a worn out trainer.

I looked around at the office that they apparently lived out of. It was rather neat and well-kept, which surprised me given how frantic Looker's energy always seemed to be. I expected his place to be a bit more messy. Maybe Emma had helped. There was a set of stairs in the back of the office, that I assumed led to their living quarters, blocked off by a screen that looked Johtonian. On the opposite wall there was a small kitchenette, with a fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher and sink. His desk sat in the middle of the room, allowing him to greet people as he worked from it. I had barely come in, unable to give the office a proper glance, before he ushered me into a slightly closed off area that seemed to function as a client meeting room. Lance had already been there for some time, waiting for Looker's 'mystery' acquaintance. Looker had refused to brief him without both of us there.

“What do you think about this?” Lance's words broke me from my wandering thoughts.

“Huh?” I blinked, looking back over at him and Looker, faintly aware that no words had been exchanged in the time that Looker ended his story. I looked between the two, shrugging my shoulders a little. “I dunno. It could entirely be coincidental, but--”

“No!” Looker interrupted, leaning in towards me. “I am absolutely certain of it! That Espurr is shy and not easy to befriend, and it doesn't get that excited to see just anyone!”

I gave him a slightly annoyed stare.

“...As I was saying,” I began slowly. “It could be coincidental, but given what Looker's told us, it's possible she's involved somehow. From what he's said, I don't think it's her. Not... intentionally, at least. Maybe she's being forced to do all this or something?”

“Hm. You may be right!” Looker put his hand to his chin, staring at the floor in deep thought. “She didn't seem to recognize Mimi or myself when we interfered earlier. In fact, were it not for me, she would have kicked poor Mimi away! But before we could do anything else, she leapt high into the air, vanishing from sight. I...” He sighed.

“It was superhuman, the way that she moved, but I am certain that it was her. And as her self-appointed guardian, I feel responsible for her! I need to know what's going on and help bring her ho---” He broke off suddenly, his intense words and passion suddenly dropping off before he could finish his sentence. He sounded tired. This case must have eaten away at him if he truly believed it to be Emma. Maybe he needed the extra point of view, someone with no connections to the girl, to keep a non-biased perception of things. It would have been the smart thing to do, even if it would be painful to hear others speak of this girl as though she were the culprit. I had to give him credit for that.

Looker cleared his throat. “I need her to stay out of trouble, for both our sakes'.” The Espurr beside him looked up at him, tugging gently on his pants. “And for you, too, Mimi.”

The room was silent for a moment, letting the tense passion slowly dissipate before one of us spoke again.

“Okay then.” I clapped my hands together, stirring the room with new energy. “Does anyone have a plan?”

“That, I do happen to have!” Looker quickly took down a map of Lumiose City from off the wall, and spread it out on a table. “This is a map of Lumiose City--”

“Could've used that when I was last here,” I snarked. My husband gave me a look, and I rolled my eyes, letting Looker continue.

“--And these,” He pointed at several spots, three on the north side of the map and one on the south. He grabbed a pen from his jacket's pocket, and circled them. “Are just some of the alleyways that I had been at when I first found the girl. The thief has been known to fight trainers that are alone in the alleyways, and the cases all line up with the alleys that she's been known to visit before. If we can lure her in with a battle, then we can catch her before she steals again! I'll get her to give up before she can get away again!”

My husband and I both nodded. It was a simple enough plan, but it worked for me.

“Who'd you have in mind for bait?” I asked him. My husband and I were both incredibly strong trainers. If this was all he needed us for, then I don't see why he needed both of us. For someone who could seem incompetent or obtuse at times, Looker did have valuable skills as an Interpol agent. He could easily swoop in and disarm her without needing both of us. Probably.

Looker looked at me. “That's what I brought you in for.”

“Cool--”

“Absolutely not!”

The disagreeing opinions caused a sudden halt in the building energy, dashing the hope that this mission could be over with quick and easy. I looked up at my husband, his expression determined.

“I'm not letting my wife become bait for something like this.”

“It sounds easy enough. I don't understand the problem. Far as we can tell, she's not dangerous--”

“We don't know that for sure. Remember what Looker just said about Espurr? It almost got kicked for going to close!”

Fear flashed through me for a moment, but I willed it away. I raised my voice, determined not to be coddled over what seemed like a harmless enough mission. “And? You could get just as hurt too! Just because I don't have any pain tolerance doesn't mean that an injury wouldn't be worth it! This is going to be nothing, Lance! I don't see what you're telling me 'no' for. Looker called on both of us, and I'm already here, so I'm going regardless of whether you want me to or not. I can take care of myself and my Pokemon just as well as you can! Or did you think that just because I stopped battling that I'd become some weak thing that needs to be protected!?”

The heated words spilled out of me before I could realize what I was saying. There was a pause, the anger evaporating, and leaving me with the consequences of my words and emotion. I hadn't even tried to filter what I said, to rephrase my words.

I couldn't hate myself more right then. I put my hands over my mouth, tears welling up in frustration. At myself, at the apparent situation that we were going to be in. The look of shock on my husband's face as I started to shout, like I'd slap him or something. Looker had become part of the background, silent and concerned, unsure of which way to go about the marital spat. He didn't want to be part of it, and I didn't blame him. The silence stretched out. Seconds ticked away, feeling like hours, and I felt the pit of my soul drop away, deeper and deeper, to somewhere it didn't belong.

I bit my lower lip and looked away.

“I-I'm sorry, I didn't... You didn't deserve that.”

He didn't speak right away. Lance was the more careful of the two of us when it came to our words and our emotions. I couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking, though I think he was struggling with coming up with a response. A proper response. You know, the sort of thing that I should have done in order to avoid blowing up at him because I hated being told to sit out something for safety's sake, especially when I had no intention of doing so.

When he spoke again, his voice was soft, low. Gentle, but firm.

“I don't want you rushing into something that could escalate. We don't know enough information to say with certainty that this is an 'easy' or 'safe' mission, and I would hate to see you get hurt because of any way that this could go wrong.” He let out a long sigh. No doubt he had been holding that in as he prepared what to say. “But...You're right on one thing, though. I shouldn't act as though you need protecting when it comes to things like this. You've proven multiple times in the past that you're more than willing to help, when it comes down to it. Trying to hold you back would be like trying to hold an angry Primeape.”

His words were consoling, but I felt awful. I looked away and crossed my arms, afraid to face him after that. Even if he forgave me, I'd still remember and feel bad. Because those thoughts would come in and distract me, ruining my focus; and it'd make this mission a lot more difficult than it need be.

“I don't have to like the plan, but I should be able to trust my wife.”

“...”

Lance sighed, turning his attention back to Looker. His voice conveyed all business again.

“When do we leave?”

“I was wondering,” began Lance, as we walked towards the nearest alleyways. It was just the two of us now, and it had been silent since Looker left. “How come Pika isn't with you? I don't think I've seen you without her, for anything.”

I shrugged, adjusting my bag. “I knew that if Looker was asking me for help with a mission, that it might be best if I didn't bring her. She's helped me before, but a Pokemon that stays out of a Pokeball tends to stand out if we have to go undercover. And... I thought I might get recognized if she was out,” I mumbled. “It's been a few years since I did the League Challenge here, and trends seem to move quickly here in Kalos, but I didn't want to risk people thinking that I was who they thought I was, all because of a Pikachu.” I rambled off excuses, looking up at him every so often as I spoke, him listening intently. I was starting to feel better, before my brain suddenly reminded me of what I had said. I shut my mouth and looked at the ground. I'm sure he would have been frowning if I saw his face.

“I have other Pokemon with me. They'll be fine for this.”

“It's not just them that I'm worried about.”

“...I know.”

We came to the first alley and split up. Lance took to the air with Dragonite, disappearing from sight when he crossed over the buildings. I took a deep breath and walked down the alley. It was surprising, that it took the alleyways for me to start having that familiar sensation, recognizing more of the alley as I walked further in. There was graffiti that I saw the first time I was exploring the city, struggling to get my mental map to retain its direction. I had used the graffiti for a marker of where I was at back then. If I recalled correctly, the alleyway opened up just a few minutes from here.

I kept one hand on a Pokeball. I quickly looked from side to side, waiting for my eyes to notice something, anything, that moved even the slightest bit. There was a sound of rustling plastic and some Fletchlings scattered as I approached the opening in the alleyway. I looked carefully. Even though I knew my husband would be watching overhead, it never hurt to have some level of vigilance on the ground, in case something happened to me before he could see or respond to it. I didn't need to prove his words from before right. My heart sank, remembering that. And I wasn't trying to rely on him; his role was to wait for the battle to be nearly over, when the suited girl would try to steal my Pokemon.

I cautiously pressed a button on my Poketch, letting the device auto-dial to the same line that Lance and Looker were on.

“I don't think anyone's here. Should I try the next alley?”

“Hmm. Do you see anyone up there, Lance?”

A pause. “No. Nothing from up here.”

“Onto the next one then! We'll have to find her sooner or later!”

And so it went on like that for the next hour, us scanning and checking every alleyway we could find in Lumiose City, coming up with nothing. We needed to take a break. Lance and I were in agreement that we needed to make sure that Looker ate; his previous remarks on his eating habits the past week left us concerned, and so, we pressured him and (I) threatened to not help until he met up with us. There was a cafe nearby, by a Pokemon Center on the north side. Lance and I had gotten there first, picking some outdoor seating so it would be easier to leave quickly if needed. (Plus, the outdoor seating looked like a small garden, with vines on the gates that separated the cafe seating from the street. It looked so beautiful, that I pleaded with my husband to sit outside.)

When Looker showed up, we gave him apologetic expressions. He looked frustrated, afraid, angry, disheartened... a mixture of emotions, unable to figure out which one he needed to express at that moment. He pulled out a chair across from us and sat down, dragging a hand down his face as he recomposed himself.

“I just don't get it,” he muttered to himself. “This isn't like her... And her motive...? The M.O. of the thief? Why isn't it adding up?!” He banged a fist against the table, startling some of the nearby patrons and servers. Lance and I exchanged concerned looks, trying to figure out which one of us should speak up first.

“It's going to be okay,” I began, unsure of exactly how it was going to be okay, much less how to progress in sympathetic speech over something like this. I placed a hand over his, gingerly. “We'll find her. We'll figure this out, and then we'll get her to explain herself, if there is anything to explain. Right, honey?” I turned to look at my husband, giving him a pleading look to take over.

“Sarah's right. It might not get solved in a day, but we'll do what we can to help you and Emma. If only we had more of a clue to go off of...”

I sighed, and leaned back in my chair. Mimi hopped up on the table, looking at all three humans.

“Purr....”

“We'll find her, Mimi.”

We sat there for a moment in silence. Before we could place our orders, and allow ourselves a bit of time to unwind, someone approached our table. It was a young lady, her eyes trained on me.

“Hi there.”

“Hi?” I sat up. Something felt off about her, and I didn't like it. My husband seemed to think so as well, his eyes glancing from her to me. I gently shook my head, and he kept quiet, watching the conversation that would follow.

“You're the Kalosian Champion from awhile back, right?”

I nodded carefully, still cautious about where this was going. Looker grabbed Mimi off the table, holding the Espurr in his lap, trying to keep her away from the person that had approached.

“I knew it! You looked familiar. If you don't mind, I'd like to have a battle with you.”

Before I could answer, Looker cut in, his eyes sharp as he addressed her.

“Little miss, we appreciate your company, but unfortunately we aren't able to battle at the moment. As you can see, we were just about to have lunch. I suggest that you go looking elsewhere for a battle.”

She looked down at him, her gaze meeting his without an ounce of fear.

“I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to her.”

“I'm afraid we'll have to politely decline your invitation. As I said--”

“And I said that I wasn't talking to you.” Her eyes were fixed on me once more; I got goosebumps from her intense look. This was starting to get bad. Those that were seated outside could hear the raised voices as the person before us pressed on, charging ahead with her challenge. “So, what do you say? We could have our battle nearby. I'm sure you'll be able to get back in time for your order to be ready~”

I stood up, my chair scraping across the cement as I addressed her.

“Sorry, but I'm not interested. If you want to challenge me, then I suggest you do it at another time, not when we're about to eat. And maybe be nicer about it next time, too.”

The lady scoffed, and she turned away, putting a hand up in the air in a dismissive gesture. “Ugh, fine. If you change your mind, I'll be waiting by Cafe Triste. I know a nice little spot to have a battle over there.”

When she left, I sat back down. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I felt Lance's hand on mine, giving it a gentle squeeze, reassuring me that what I said had been the right thing. He pushed his chair closer to mine, and I opened my eyes to look at him, giving him a half-hearted smile. I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Looker was deep in thought; his eyes were trained on the direction that the challenger had left in. We followed his gaze, the same line of thought crossing us.

Lance spoke up first.

“Do you think--”

“Undoubtedly. I never thought that the bait would come to us. Had she noticed us and kept on our trail? Has she been following us?”

“Is that even this girl Emma you were talking about?” I turned to Looker, directing my question at him. “She seemed much older than the one you spoke about.”

“No, that's not how she looks. But Mimi here reacted. I know she hates being touched, but I had to hold her back from bouncing all over her. So it had to be Emma, somehow. There's no one else Mimi loves as much as her.” As though in response, Mimi had jumped back onto the table, ready to give Looker a mouthful. “You can't jump every time you sense her. You'll give us away,” he scolded.

“Right then. So it's a trap, but we need to take the bait in order to prove that it's her. Or not her. Regardless, point is, we have to battle her in order to stop the thefts and return the Pokemon, if our suspicions are correct. But for now, we should probably eat.” I looked to my husband for confirmation, and he nodded.

“We don't know what will follow,” he said to an impatient Looker. “We're going to need to take care of ourselves first before we go rushing in. And right now, that means refueling. Even you've got to agree that that makes some sense, Looker.”

The Interpol officer let out an impatient growl. “I hate it, but you're both right.”

We spent the next length of time planning our move. Since the challenge had been issued to me, we were all (some begrudgingly) in agreement that I would be the one to meet her. The others would follow along; Lance would get atop the buildings, taking care to not be seen as he and Dragonite crept as close as possible to the back of the alley, where we assumed the challenge would take place. Looker said that he'd find a spot “where no one could see him”, and told Mimi to keep back this time. The little Espurr nodded. Once we had finished eating, we took a cab to the Cafe Triste. There was no one notably suspicious when we arrived, but there was the alleyway that we had checked earlier.

I looked at Lance and Looker, and they nodded. I waited for them to move ahead of me, letting them get themselves into position. I took a deep breath and walked down the alley, a hand on a Pokeball. It felt like a long walk, but perhaps because I anticipated something happening this time. When I turned the corner, at the back of the alley, I saw the lady from before, tossing a Pokeball in her hand as she waited for me.

“Hey. It took you awhile! I was starting to wonder if you were gonna turn tail and run away. Not that I expected you to; it's not often that a Champion would turn down a request for a battle, current or not.”

That had hit a nerve that I hadn't expect. I gripped the Pokeball in my hand harder, waiting for her to issue her challenge so we could get on with it. She said nothing, giving me a smirk.

“Did you want to battle or not?!”

“Fine. Go!” She threw out a Pokeball, releasing a Jellicent.

I threw out the Pokeball in my hand. “Absilina, open with Night Slash!” As my Absol burst forth from her Pokeball, she immediately assessed the situation and understood who her target was, tossing her head in a circular motion as her horn glowed. A dark slash of energy came forth, hitting the lady's Jellicent dead-on. Absilina landed smoothly on the ground. She crouched down, sensing the danger of the person behind the large, balloon-like jellyfish, and growled.

Jellicent shook itself off. The Night Slash had done damage, but not enough to get rid of it in one shot. It floated ominously towards us, ready for a command. Its arms glowed a dark color, ready for the signal as an orb of energy appeared in each one.

“Use Shadow Ball!”

“Dodge it with Double Team, and cut through with another Night Slash!”

Absilina quickly created image copies of herself, the shadow balls passing through each afterimage softly, causing her no harm. As the copies disappeared, she revealed herself behind the Jellicent. Her horn glowed once more, and she released a powerful Night Slash from right behind the Pokemon, earning a critical hit. Jellicent crumpled to the ground, eyes dazed as it passed out from the fight. Absilina quickly darted back to stand near me, not willing to keep her back turned against the mystery trainer for very long. I felt a small sense of pride, knowing that my Pokemon and I could still battle so well.

“Jellicent, return! Volcarona, go!”

The beautiful sun moth hovered in the air, its scales glittering as the bit of sun that made it through to the crevices of the alleyway hit its wings. It let out a sharp battle cry, the air filled with its screech. Absilina kept her body lowered, ready to dart away at my command.

“Use Quiver Dance! Again, and again!”

The large Fire- and Bug- Pokemon moved around quickly, its wings and body all aquiver as it raised its stats. Soon it was darting around the field, causing Absilina and I to struggle just to keep up with it. If we didn't take care of it quickly, Quiver Dance could pose a huge problem.

“Double Team again!” I shouted. “Stat boosts mean nothing if you can't hit us!” Absilina's Double Team afterimages appeared on the field once again.

“Fiery Dance, then combine it with Hurricane to create a large fire storm! Not even Double Team can help you escape!”

The Volcarona suddenly became encapsulated by fire, zooming around the air in a dance pattern. Fire soon formed in the air around the Pokemon. As the enflamed wings flapped, gusts began to swirl about, spreading the fire out from its center. I watched as Absilina's copies disappeared from the approaching fire storm as it hit each one. Flames soon engulfed her when she got hit. The strong winds of Hurricane picked her up and tossed her about. When the storm died down, she fell to the ground, hitting her shoulder first.

“Absilina! Are you okay?”

“Absol!” She gritted her teeth and got up. Growling could be heard as she did, and she stared down the speedy sun moth as it darted about, waiting for my next command.

“Okay. Let's end this with Air Slash, go!” Once again, her horn glowed, but this time instead of a dark slash of energy, gales of wind issued forth as she jerked her head. Volcarona quickly dodged each of them.

“Double Team, followed by Air Slash!”

“Use Hurricane!”

The two attacks clashed. Hurricane dissipated any of the incoming gales, protecting the Volcarona from potential damage. However, it kept it from attacking in turn. Even though we had managed to stop the Volcarona from moving, it was still frustrating, watching as all the Air Slashes were being negated. We needed... something to break through the wind barrier. We needed more power.

I watched the battle, eyes darting around as I tried to find something to strike inspiration. A glittering in the fur of Absilina caught my eye. As she battled, the strong winds blew her chest fur aside to reveal the Absolite that I had given her years ago.

“Of course.... I can't believe I forgot.” I quickly stuck my hand in my bag, rifling through it, hoping that I hadn't cleaned it out too much since I last used it. There, at the very bottom corner, I felt it: my Key Stone. I pulled it out. It had been affixed to a brooch, and I quickly pinned it to my shirt, near my left shoulder. I touched it briefly, thinking of Absilina, and looked back out on the battlefield; the glint of her Absolite had now turned into a glow, quickly engulfing her as she transformed into her Mega Evolution. Short, angelic-like wings protruded from her back now; her fur had gotten longer and her black horn wider. It glowed with the start of another, stronger Air Slash. She unleashed it, breaking apart the seemingly impenetrable Hurricane that had protected the Volcarona.

“Excellent! Now, Absilina, finish it off!”

“Quiver Dance!”

The boost that Mega Evolution had given Absilina was more than enough to offset the speed difference that Volcarona had gained. Once more, my Absilina's horn glowed, growing with the energy that Mega Evolution had given her. It unleashed a powerful Air Slash, hitting Volcarona and knocking it down for the count. Its trainer didn't even bother waiting for it to get up again, instead returning it back to its Pokeball. Absilina didn't revert to her normal form, instead carefully watching the suspicious character that we had just battled against.

The lady let out a short laugh.

“Oh, that was a great battle. Excellent, even. Yes, you're definitely a Champion. It's almost unfair, that you should have such a powerful Pokemon at your side.” There was a flash of light and the lady disappeared. Instead, what stood across from me was someone in a black bodysuit. Her face was obstructed by an orange screen on her helmet, the visor showing the impression of an E across the screen. It reminded me of a sentai show. She reached for a button on the arm of her suit.

“You should give them to me!” Out shot a grappling-hook like object, aiming for my Pokeballs.

It hadn't made it very far when a Hyper Beam came crashing down into the ground, searing the line and causing it to fall harmlessly away from me and Absilina.

“Don't even think about it!”

Lance and his Dragonite swooped into the alley. I felt some relief at the sight of them, having forgotten that they were nearby. Lance jumped off of his Pokemon, landing next to me, while Dragonite touched down next to Absilina. Looker and Mimi rushed in from their hiding spot, ready to apprehend the suited individual.

“Stop right there!” shouted Looker.

The individual turned her head, looking at each of us carefully. Her helmet flickered as she looked at Looker and Mimi, before she suddenly turned her head to stare at me again.

“OBSTRUCTION DETECTED. RECURRENT INTERFERENCE. PROCESS JEOPARDIZED.”

She crouched down. Looker took a step forward when suddenly, she leapt high up into the air and disappeared from our sights.

“Argh!!! She's run off on us again!” Looker slammed his fist into the wall. He stared up at the sky, no doubt wondering about where she had gone. But the immediate anger and frustration faded, and he clenched his fist, with a few hisses of pain and a muttered stream of “Ow, owowowow ow!”

We returned to the Looker Bureau. My husband dressed the scrape on Looker's hand, Looker wincing at the antiseptic being carefully applied. I looked over the map he had drawn on before. I felt like maybe there was something missing.

“Are you sure there's nothing else that you can think of?” I asked Looker. “Anything at all, that might be connected to this.” I pulled up on my phone a digital map of the area, using a street view to quickly scout the area. There were so many cafes, so many plazas, streets, alleys, twists and turns. This was going to take some time to find any suspicious place, even digitally.

“There might be... one thing. Ah, but it's classified! Strictly related to my mission here in Kalos!”

I turned around to stare at him.

“You have a several-time champion and a member of the Pokemon G-Men as among your personally requested backup. You've either already broached several protocols or you at least can share with Lance over there. And maybe he'll share with me. Either way, holding back what information you know isn't going to help us in this search for Emma.”

He considered for a moment, before giving a reluctant sigh. He pointed over to a notebook that was laid out on his desk, in plain sight.

“Over there. You can read through that while I formulate our next move.” He turned to Lance, who had finished bandaging his hand. “Thank you.”

I walked over to the desk. The notebook had been left open for the whole world to see, if the whole world ever happened upon this office. I traced a finger along the edges of it, ruffled pages and notes stuffed into it with strips of sticky notes at all sort of angles. I flipped through it, skimming its contents to find anything useful. There was a lot to go through.

“You can't just tell us?” Lance asked, giving the Interpol agent a look that made him cave.

“Fine, fine. Tell me, have either of you heard of Team Flare?” We nodded our heads.

“They made the news while I was here,” I told him. “I heard the trainer who defeated Diantha after me was the key in their disbandment. That, and Flare had ties to a cafe somewhere...” A light bulb went off in my head and I quickly changed my map's display to where I had passed over a cafe by Magenta Plaza. “Here!” I held out my phone to show them.

“Yes, that's the cafe that they used as a cover for their laboratory. There was a scientist among them, named Xerosic. I've been sent to apprehend him. I think he may be part of this. He's been quiet for the last few years; until recently, it's been difficult to track him. What I've learned is that that suit that Emma wears is a pet project of his. He's been holed up in Team Flare's old laboratory, using the equipment that was left behind. I suspect that a couple of Emma's friends might have also gotten involved somehow; I've seen several of them in the area, but overall their little gang hasn't made any noise in the city. Still... my gut is telling me that it's not a coincidence.

“And, perhaps this is important, perhaps it is not so much, but when I last ran into Emma, she didn't recognize that name. Instead, she called herself Essentia. Trying to talk to her like she was Emma distressed her enough that she left suddenly, much like today. I'm surprised that she didn't try anything when we stopped her. ...Although she did leave much quicker than last time. Perhaps... Perhaps this Essentia identity is a key, that will unlock the mystery of why Emma is acting the way she is.”

Trying to depersonalize this as mission as a simple case of the good guys versus the bad would be difficult. We didn't know this Emma, but seeing the pain that Looker tried to hide made it hard. I felt bad for him; I hadn't seen him distraught like this before, and I wanted to make the pain go away. Helping him with this case was the only way that I could.

“I have a contact that I might try to reach out to again. Perhaps this person will be able to share with us more information. I do not like being in their debt, but there is little else I can do.” He pulled out his cellphone. “You two should come. It will be easier to share the information only once.”

Looker brought us to a cafe that had apparently closed down two years ago. Though it wasn't open for business, it was left standing, as a testament to one man's vision. I remembered passing it by when I was in Kalos years ago, sitting inside once as part of my tour of Lumiose City. The establishment had given me slight unease at the time; now I knew why.

I looked over at the faded A-frame that greeted customers.

Lysandre Cafe

“This was Team Flare's base?” I asked, poking my head in. It wasn't nearly as dusted as it should have been. Like someone had cleaned it fairly recently, perhaps in the last few weeks.

“Indeed. Team Flare was right under their noses the entire time. But enough of the past. We are here to meet someone.”

“Can you first just tell us who?”

Looker only motioned for us to walk inside with him.

The bell over the door frame announced our presence with its soft jingle. Inside the red cafe stood a woman with pink hair. She impatiently tapped a foot against the ground, glancing over at the three of us when we entered. I looked at her cautiously, feeling the faintest hint of recognition. Where had I seen her before? Her eyes were hidden behind shaded frames, but I could feel them looking daggers at the three of us when we entered.

“This is more than expected, Looker.”

“They're my helpers.”

She snorted.

“A G-man and a--” Her voice stopped as she looked at me, the recognition hitting her worse than it had hit me. “YOU.”

Without hesitation, my husband had moved himself closer to me, ready to interfere if the woman's animosity resorted to physical violence. I gave a nervous laugh, struggling to remember her. Her name, her status, anything.

“Umm.... I'm so sorry, I'm really bad with names. Who're you again?”

It felt like the burning fires that stoked within her paused, only to erupt into a fury that not even Groudon could match.

“You... Forgot...?!” she began slowly. Her voice erupted in a shout, “You forgot who the fuck I am?!”

“Okay okay, we're getting off-track here!” Looker stepped in front of the hot-headed woman. “Malva, I need you to focus back on the task at hand--”

“No, Looker! I need a rematch against--”

“Malva!” Recognition struck me like a lighting bolt. “I remember you now!! You were the first Elite Four member that I battled against when I took up the challenge here!” Her team had been rather easy for me to get through, and it had left her pissed off. But rather than give her a rematch sometime, I had left, heading back home. That still didn't explain her extreme reaction, but if she had ties to Team Flare, then maybe that had something to do with it...

“A rematch! I demand one, right now!!!”

A sudden bout of facepalming occurred.

“Can't we do this without one?” Looker yelled at her. A shouting match erupted between the two of them. He and Malva went back and forth for a short while, my husband and I on the sidelines.

“What did you do to her?” My husband asked quietly while the two argued. “I've met a lot of Elite Four members, but I've never seen them hold a grudge like this towards any trainer.”

“I dunno. I only used my Lapras and took down all of her Pokemon.” Pause. “D'you think that might've done it?”

Lance let out a sigh as the shouting match between Looker and Malva came to a close.

“Tch.” Malva looked back over at us. “You're the ones that are helping this detestable man?”

“We are.”

“Ugh. Fine, follow me.”

She led us through twin doors in the back of the establishment. It led to a short hallway, which then led to what looked like an entirely different building. It was reminiscent of... Well, several places that I've been to, honestly. The murky lab was lit by red lights on the wall, which gave an eerie sort of glow to the dark tile on the floor. There were warp pads across the floor, something I'm sure none of us were patient enough to puzzle out.

Malva stopped at an elevator right in front of us.

“Here. I'll put in the password. Only certain admins of Team Flare know about this floor of the laboratory, and it is my belief that you'll find Xerosic here. But be prepared. He's been known to break promises in order to get what he wants.” She stepped aside, the elevator light dinging softly as its red doors opened. “Have fun. And if Xerosic asks, tell him it was nothing personal; just a little honor among thieves~”

“Thank you, Malva.” Looker gave her a small nod. She pulled him aside as we entered. I could faintly overhear their conversation.

“You'll keep your promise.” Her voice was low, but it still had that self-assured confidence that she spoke with. She wasn't questioning him; she was demanding.

“I'm a man of my word, Malva. You keep yours and I'll keep mine.”

We prepared ourselves as the elevator took us down several levels. No one knew what to expect from here out, even though all of us had varying degrees of experience in raiding secret lairs and labs. We went over what could, at best, be described as a plan. It felt like a long moment, removed from time and space, this one little moment separate from the rest of the world. A break. And when the doors opened again, we would be stepping back into the reality where Emma was Essentia, and we'd have to track down this scientist Xerosic in order to set things right again. The elevator stopped. A soft dinging noise broke our silence, while the light overhead light up to tell us what floor we were on. There was an impatient pause. Any second now, the doors would slowly open. And when they did, a small group of punks greeted us as the lab's security.

“Right. Should have known.” I sighed.

“Think we were led into a trap?” Lance held out a Pokeball, ready to push through.

“No. Malva doesn't like Xerosic. She has nothing to gain from harming us.” Looker picked up Mimi and took a few steps back, letting the trainers move forward.

We threw out our Pokeballs; Absilina burst forth from mine, while a Dragonite came forth from Lance's. We both issued our commands, knocking out the trainers' Pokemon and taking care not to hurt them as much as possible. It still didn't stop us from having to use force when they tried to physically get in our way.

“What does she gain from taking out Xerosic?” asked Lance.

“Less competition?” I said, throwing out an answer. “Or just to get rid of a really annoying thorn in her side.”

“It's most likely that!” Looker gave scolding looks at the punks that had been pushed to the floor. It seemed like he knew them, because they cowered once they recognized who it was that they had attacked. Looker grabbed one by the shirt. “Who's in charge around here? Where do we find them?!”

“Uh, uh... that way!” The punk pointed down a short hallway. “It's somewhere over there, I see Nix go that way all the time! But I dunno nothin' 'bout how to find the boss! I'm real sorry Mr. Looker, sir! If you see Nix, you can ask him!!”

Looker scowled, tossing the punk aside. “I'll deal with you later! Damn it!” He kicked a nearby wall, frustrated. “I should have asked Malva...” I heard him mutter.

Absilina pressed her head into my hand, and I absentmindedly pet her as we debated where to go. Lance was in favor of splitting up, to cover more ground, and I couldn't deny that that was a good option. But with the way the halls seemed to twist and turn, and the sometimes hidden warp pads, we could easily lose track of one person, or have difficulty meeting up with them if they found something or ran into trouble, notably Looker.

Absilina bumped my hand again, a bit more forceful. I looked down at her, confused as to why she was asking for pets at a time like this. Her ruby red eyes conveyed an almost sorrowful emotion. She let out a small whine, nudging my hand some more.

“Guys? I've got an idea.”

The three of us ran down the hall, as we ignored the low-brow security and scientists that were baffled by the intrusion. Any person that tried to get in our way or stop us, Lance's Dragonite pushed aside, making sure that Absilina had a clear path. Absols could sense disaster; surely Absilina could sense where we might run into Essentia/Emma?

"I'm hoping that I'm right about this," I shouted, huffing.

"If not, you'll owe me dinner."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, too distracted to give my husband a snarky retort.

Absilina stopped as we seemed to get closer to where we needed to be. She was looking every which way as though she were trying to pick up a scent. I wondered if that was how Absols found the disaster that they were sensing. It worried me whenever she stopped. Maybe using this innate sense would mean that we'd run into something awful with Emma; but we didn't have any other choice except to either a) completely decimate the floor so there were no more walls and we found someone kind enough to tell us what we needed to know, or b) take the very long path of searching every pathway until we found the right one.

This was just like option B, but hopefully quicker, with Absilina leading us before disaster could strike. It took awhile, but we had reached the last unobstructed room that we could get to on this floor. Absilina pawed at the door, whining a little as she did.

I caught up to her, out of breath. "What's up girl? Is this it?"

She gave me a sorrowful look, pawing at the door handle again.

"That's our cue then," Lance said, him and Dragonite stepping forward. "Get back, everyone!"

"Wait! Remember that we don't know what's behind this door! Don't go Hyper Beaming something, when for all we know she could be right by the door or in its path! Hell, it could even be some trap!"

"This isn't my first mission," he said sharply. I took a deep breath, trying to hold back any retorts. Now wasn't the time to get defensive or let myself become encumbered by negative thoughts again.

"I know,” I said softly. “I just want you to be careful."

"Now who's being worried over their spouse?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. Fair point.

"If we could cut the discussion short," Looker shouted, his patience wearing thin. "Let's get this over with and save Emma!"

“Right!!”

A light blue glow enveloped Dragonite as it charged down the door with Dragon Rush. We ran in after it, to a quiet room full of bookshelves with glass doors. There were several rows of them on each side of us. No one had screamed or shouted when a Pokemon came bursting through, and no traps sprung, either. That still didn't mean it was safe. Absilina and Dragonite were on high alert, and kept themselves ready as we looked around.

“Is this... a library?” I wondered aloud. Had the situation been different, I might have been excited to rifle through each book. We walked past several rows of shelves, divided on each side of us. There was a desk in the far back of the room, but we couldn't see anything else noteworthy.

“Maybe we can find something useful in here,” I said to them. They agreed and we split up, taking a section each. It seemed unlikely that we could find exactly what we were looking for, when we didn't even know what information we needed to end these string of crimes.

“It looks like records from their research,” Lance said. He frowned as he flipped through the pages of the document that he held. “And not very ethical research, from the look of it.”

“It's a good thing that Team Flare disbanded then,” I called out absentmindedly, eyes scanning the pages of another document. I felt Absilina nudge me with her horn, and I looked down at her.

“Hmm? What's up girl?” She looked in the direction of the desk. I followed her, letting her lead. I gasped.

“Guys! There're Pokeballs in here!”

“What?!” Lance and Looker came running over, each of us examining them. There were scuff marks on them, no doubt a sign that they had belonged to other trainers. I pulled out my Pokedex, scanning them with the IR port. It pulled up the information of the Pokemon inside, and the IDs of the trainers that they each belonged to. I showed it to both of them.

“These must belong to the people who had their Pokemon stolen!” Looker declared.

“But why leave them in here?” My eyes wandered over to another bookshelf. Absilina was staring at the cover of one that had fallen over. EXPANSION SUIT SPECS was written on the cover. I picked it up while Lance and Looker did a sweep of the room, gathering up any other Pokeballs that were left about.

“Physical Enhancement... Pokeball Jack...?” A hacking cable on the neck piece allows the wearer to upload a computer virus to Pokeballs and override their systems. A computer virus?! This provides access to control the Pokemon. The virus also magnifies the Pokemon's power.

“That can't be good...” I muttered, carefully reading over the notes.

4. Remote control. Remote control of the suit protects against the risk of its wearer going renegade. AI personalities are pre-programmed, modeled on common Trainer types. When the suit is controlled remotely, the wearer's consciousness is suppressed. “....The wearer experiences a coma-like state!?”

I looked up, closing the book with my finger between the pages.

“Lance! Looker!” They both ran over. “We need to look for any notes about the Expansion Suit that Emma wears!” I opened up the book, flipping to the page that had a diagram of the suit that Emma wore. Looker grabbed the book from me, looking closely at it.

“Expansion Suit?” He paused, eyeing every detail of it. “Yes... that seems to be it.”

We fanned out, poring over the bookshelves once more.

“Found one!” Lance spoke up, reading aloud from the notebook. “The remote-control function has worked without complications thus far. Emma shows no ill effects from her time in the suit.”

“Well, that's hopefully good, right?” I asked. Neither of them made any acknowledgment, and Lance continued on.

“Her memory is blank.”

“Okay, maybe not so good...”

“When questioned, she describes her experience as 'taking a nap'.”

“I don't even know if that's a good or bad thing.”

“Sarah...” Lance sighed at me.

I looked over at Looker. He had another notebook opened, his frown deepening as he read it. I came over to him, trying to look at what he was reading.

“What does that one say?”

He didn't respond right away, instead closing the book up and putting it back on the shelf.

“Nothing important.” I tried to pry for more information, but he didn't respond. He began tapping his foot, thinking. I looked over at Lance, who was looking through another book. I grabbed the one that Looker had put back, scanning its contents.

We encountered a glitch in the remote-control programming, and I lost control for a brief period of time. Fearing possible effects on Emma, I suspended the trials temporarily. When we returned to the secret base, I examined the girl for signs of damage, but she appeared to be unharmed. She still retains no memories from her intervals in the suit. The one thing she admitted was experiencing “a frightful dream.”

I turned the page.

Why did the remote control malfunction only that one time? Do I need to do more than simply put her in a state of sleep? Must I subdue her spirit, too? No, doing that would put far too great a strain upon Emma's mind...

I slammed the book closed and glared at Looker. “How can you say that this was nothing important!? She--” But I was cut off by Absilina's howl. We all looked over at her. She was growling at the entryway, as a pale, heavyset man in a red suit and red glasses walked in, a familiar figure in a black bodysuit behind him.

“Emma!” Looker's expression was relief mixed with pain. It was good that she was unharmed, but... The more that she wore that suit, the more concerning it was. She didn't respond to Looker's call. Angry that she continued to not recognize him, he turned his frustration on Xerosic. “Let her go!” he growled.

“Emma has been helping me with a trial of my magnum opus, the Expansion Suit. She can't hear any of you; her mind is in a state of sleep! You can try all you want, but waking her isn't an option. In fact, I think it might be best if you all had a battle with her instead, to understand exactly what it is that my Expansion Suit is capable of.”

“We don't need to battle her!” Lance shouted. “We've read your documents here! We know that what you're doing is unethical! Stealing Pokemon and hacking the Pokeballs with a virus, putting to sleep a teenager under the pretense that she's helping science?!”

“Does Emma even know what she's doing?” I yelled at him. “Do you even understand the irreparable harm you could be doing to her body and mind with that?!”

Looker couldn't wait any longer. He took advantage of our angry words and lunged at Xerosic, fist raised. Xerosic turned towards him, aware too late of the Interpol agent's attack. Looker's fist stopped in midair; his wrist caught by Essentia.

“Emma?”

He was promptly thrown back with inhuman strength, crashing into a bookshelf. It toppled over, Looker letting slip expletives between hisses of pain.

“Looker!” I rushed over to check on him. “Are you okay?!”

“I've been better,” he grunted.

Xerosic looked between all three of us. “Grr... You're all so noisy. Battle them, Essentia!”

We braced ourselves. Our Pokemon were in front of us, the line between us and harm. Essentia stood still, looking in our direction. Her head turned towards where she had thrown Looker, screen flickering as she watched the tiny Espurr psychically move books off of him.

“Essentia!” Her head snapped back to attention. “Defeat these trainers, and prove my theory true!”

“VIRUS POTENCY SET TO 90 PERCENT.”

She threw out two Pokeballs. From them emerged a Crobat and a Malamar. The two Pokemon looked incredibly aggressive and malicious, glaring daggers at us and hissing. Absol and Dragonite prepared themselves. There really was no getting out of this without a Pokemon battle.

"Crobat, use Mean Look on both Pokemon! Malamar, Superpower on Absol!"

Crobat's eyes glowed as it glared down our Pokemon, locking them into battle. Malamar launched itself at Absilina like a rocket, knocking her into the wall behind us. She fell to the floor, leaving an Absol-sized crater in the wall.

"Absilina!" I ran over to her.

"Use Dragon Rush on Malamar!" Lance commanded. Dragonite charged in, hitting the Pokemon in its chest. Malamar wasn't pushed back as Absol was, instead able to hold its own against Dragonite. It spun around and hit Dragonite with one of its arms, pushing the dragon back. Dragonite flapped its wings as it regained its position.

"Sarah, is Absilina okay?"

I pulled out a Hyper Potion from my bag, spraying it all over my Absol's body. She shuddered, then raised her head as the energy came back to her. I gave my husband a thumbs up.

"Yeah, she's fine. We'll be right back in the fight!" I stepped back as Absilina sprang back up, shaking off the dust from her fall.

“Absol!” she gave a determined bark.

“Awesome! Use Swords Dance!” There was a bit of fancy footwork that raised her attack power, as though summoning courage that could be manifested into offense.

“Crobat, Haze!” The purple bat Pokemon opened its mouth, letting out a darkly colored mist that covered the room. Lance drew his cape over his mouth to filter the air, while the rest of us covered our mouths with our hands. The black mist filled up the room, stinging my eyes. I could hear coughing nearby. We couldn't see the battle.

“Malamar, Night Slash on Dragonite!” There was a faint glow as something crashed into Dragonite, knocking it aside. It stood back up, teeth bared. Another glow as another attack made contact with it, causing it to step back. It was difficult to tell where Malamar was until its body glowed for an attack. Dragonite held its own though, waiting for the right opportunity to strike back.

“Absilina, use Night Slash on Malamar!” Absilina jumped into the haze, the glow of her horn becoming muted as she came within range of her foe. I couldn't see what happened, but I could hear the cry of surprise from the Malamar as it was attacked.

“It's already back up? Malamar! Finish it off with another Superpower!”

“Double Team!” The faint glow from Malamar's body alerted Absilina. As a Dark-type Pokemon, she had a better chance of sensing the other Dark-type Pokemon than Dragonite did. There was no cry of pain from her, only the sound of something crashing into one of the bookshelves.

“Dragonite! Blow this Haze away!” There was a loud flapping of wings. Dragonite slowly came into view, the black mist slowly dissipating from its area.

“Crobat! Quick, Poison Fang on Dragonite!” Crobat was but a purple blur, swooping in with its jaws wide, teeth latching onto Dragonite. Dragonite let out a pained cry. It hit Crobat with its claws, breaking free of its assault, but not without injury. Purple marks had formed around the area where it had been attacked, and its breathing became haggard.

“Dragonite!”

“Absilina, quick! Use Air Slash to finish what Dragonite started!”

She wasted no time. The air cleared, and the battlefield was visible once again. Malamar had positioned itself right behind the poisoned Dragonite, arms poised for its next attack. Its arms glowed in a purple color, Psycho Cut hitting Dragonite in the back. The dragon let out a pained cry.

“Dragonite! Fall back!”

“Lance, here!” I tossed him a Full Restore. “I'll get their attention while you get Dragonite healed up!”

Absilina overheard the quick commands, dashing across the room to stand beside me.

“Use Night Slash on both of them! Make sure they've got their eye on you long enough for Lance to heal Dragonite!”

Absilina nodded in understanding. She growled and barked at the two Pokemon on the field,  drawing their attention briefly. Her horn glowed. She quickly charged in, hitting each of them with a Night Slash from up close. The two Pokemon angrily shook their heads, locking eyes with Absilina. She barked at them again, running away from Lance's Dragonite.

Take the bait, I muttered under my breath. I looked over at Essentia, who seemed to be watching the battle unfold more than participate in it. It seemed that the Pokemon were well-trained enough that they didn't need her commands. She was just a conduit for them. A source of increased strength. That Pokeball hacking device in her suit, if that's related to the virus potency, and it multiplied their strength, then... It would be a very difficult battle for us if we didn't end this quickly, or carefully.

Absilina turned around, ready to charge at the two Pokemon again. They seemed on the verge of falling for her taunts, their aggression growing as she continued to bark and growl at them.

“Use Double Team! Follow it up with Night Slash!”

“Crobat, Air Slash! Malamar, Night Slash!”

Absilina had barely made copy images of herself in time before the other Pokemon attacked her. She swiftly dodged the incoming attacks, zigzagging through the shelves as her and her Double Team copies darted in and out, trying to push the opposing Pokemon's interests away from Dragonite. The two opponents slowly let up ground, Absilina's Night Slash pushing them away. Dragonite headed back to its trainer as fast as it could in its weakened state. Lance met his Pokemon partway, spraying the Full Restore over it.

One of Absilina's doubles disappeared, then another, as Crobat and Malamar continued their assault on her. She was headed for a wall, and the Pokemon behind her charged their attacks, thinking they had her cornered. She waited for them to attack, then leapt onto the wall when they did, using the momentum to push herself off it and past them. As she did, her horn glowed, and she let out two Night Slashes, one for each Pokemon. Crobat and Malamar didn't have enough time to dodge her attacks.

"Dragonite, Thunder Wave now!" Before the two Pokemon could recover, an electric band of energy was unleashed at them. It hit its two targets, paralyzing them. Absilina stopped by Dragonite, turning around to face their foes. The two Pokemon stared down their paralyzed opponents.

Crobat and Malamar struggled to get themselves up off the floor.

Lance didn't waste a single second.

"Let's finish this off! Hyper Beam!"

Dragonite inhaled, quickly gathering energy. A large, yellowish-orange beam of light shot out at the two Pokemon. It hit them dead on. Without much fight left in them, they collapsed on the ground. Dragonite was briefly worn out from the strenuous attack, leaving Absilina as the only Pokemon capable of movement right now. She cautiously walked towards the two Pokemon, prepared to attack if they were feinting or made any moves.

Thunder Wave and Hyper Beam had done a number on Essentia's Pokemon. They gave feeble groans as Absilina nudged them with her forepaw. Due to the paralysis, the couldn't move, even if they wanted to. Absilina looked back at Lance and myself, as though questioning what the next move would be.

"Call back your Pokemon!" Lance shouted. "It's over. They're exhausted."

Xerosic gritted his teeth, then nodded to Essentia. She pulled out two Pokeballs, and her Pokemon disappeared in red beams of light. The scientist looked displeased, quickly thinking about what his next moves would be against the three of us. His lips curled into a sneer.

"That's alright! We'll just increase the virus' potency and do this again!"

"Emma! Stop this right now!" Looker had gotten up from the bookcase he was thrown into, thanks to Mimi. The little Espurr was in front of him. She made her way past our Pokemon, until she was several feet from Emma/Essentia. "Let's go home. I don't understand why this all has happened, but you can tell me later."

"Es! Espurr es!!" The little Pokemon jumped up and down, waving her little paws at her human.

"It's useless, you fools! Nothing you try will work! Emma can't hear you. The one in control of Essentia is not Emma, but me!!"

"Can you hear me, Emma?! If you can wake yourself, I know you can break free of that suit! Awaken! Open your eyes!”

“.........”

Emma was non-responsive. Other than the screen on her helmet flickering, she may as well have been a static entity. She stood still, her helmet tilted in the direction of Looker and Mimi.

“Isn't the power of science amazing? By putting her into a coma-like state, not only can I keep in control of the Expansion Suit, but she won't be able to wake up no matter how much you call her!”

“...”

“Emma? EMMA!” Looker was shouting now, using all the volume he could muster. Mimi was mewling as well, as loud as her little lungs could get. “C'mon Emma! I know you can hear me; I know that you can hear us!!"

In a fit of frustration, the little Espurr ran closer, yelling at her friend.

“Mimi! Get back!”

A bright light flashed suddenly. Mimi was floating, faintly outlined by a purple aura. She directed her focus at Emma, trying to connect to her with a psychic beam of energy. But the Expansion Suit had protected her, somehow deflecting it to Looker's feet. He didn't move, not due to fear, but due to determination and courage. He looked at her, trying to see past the screen that covered her face, to see the girl that he knew was inside, but all that met him was a flickering light.

“Emma...”

At first, nothing had happened. But then there was a soft squealing sound, that quickly turned into a high pitch whirring. The screen on the suit flickered more, lights flashing in a different pattern, as though trying to boot up its process once again.

“...ngh....”

It was the first time that we had heard any noise like that from her. The screen flickered on and off. Essentia grabbed at her helmet, clutching it as though in pain. A loud, staticky ringing noise could be heard.

“Hnnnngghhh....! ...Ugh!”

Finally, she let out a loud scream of pain, her movements jerky as though she were desperately trying to throw off the helmet, her pain imminent in the way that she tottered about, trying to relieve the source of her pain, to free herself from the shrill noises contained in the headgear.

Xerosic took a few steps back.

“What?! How can this be happening?!” He faltered for a bit, before gritting his teeth and smirking, carrying on as though nothing was outside his control or expectations. “Not a problem though! Watch this! Remote-control function... Set to maximum output!”  He reached for a device in his pocket and pulled out a remote. He pressed a few buttons on it in an attempt to regain control of Essentia.

The thrashing and screaming stopped. Essentia stood as she normally did.

Looker gave a hesitant step forward, Mimi now floating in front of him, prepared to protect him if she suddenly lashed out.

"Emma, I know you're in there. You can't fake the bond between you and Mimi!"

Essentia had her hand on a Pokeball, ready to throw it. Her arm jerked, hand stopping suddenly when it had moved halfway through. Mimi's eyes were glowing, a determined expression on her face. Essentia's hand jerked, trying to fight the psychical attack that blocked her movement. She screamed in pain once more, and Mimi let go of her psychical hold. Essentia/Emma's arm went limp, down at her side, as once more something went horribly wrong with the suit.

“Nngh! GAAAAAH!” The Pokeball fell from her hand. She clutched her helmet in pain again, screaming and stumbling about once more.

“EMMA!!!” Looker didn't hesitate this time. He ran towards Emma, wanting to pry the helmet off of her himself, but in her chaotic pain she tossed him back. He fell backwards, grunting in pain as he hit the floor. There was a high-pitched whining noise again, as the technology in the suit continued to malfunction. The girl in the suit was still screaming, shouting.

“Stop this, Xerosic! Can't you see that she's in pain!?” Lance couldn't hold back his frustration and disgust at the scientist anymore. He took several steps towards the scientist, Dragonite's intimidating presence beside him. "You've got to stop this! Emma hasn't done anything to deserve this! She's just a normal girl, who had just gotten a fresh start until you came in! Stop this abuse right now before you regret it!”

None of us knew what to do; we couldn't attack her, not when she showed any signs of control over herself. Was the energy that powered the suit electrocuting her? Was it doing something to her brain? There was no way for any of us to know, except for Xerosic. Xerosic was the only one who held immediate and full knowledge of the suit. Taking him out wouldn't guarantee Emma's safety; and we needed it stopped right away. We couldn't destroy the controller, either. It might lock her into that painful state until she passed out... or worse. I racked my brain, trying to find something, anything. Everyone's patience was growing thin; we all wanted to do something.

Her screaming continued.

It felt like all we could do was watch. Painfully. I glanced over at Looker, who was sitting up. He muttered something, over and over to himself.

“C'mon Emma...” I couldn't imagine the sort of pain he was in.

I looked around. There were tossed over bookshelves, their contents strewn about the floor. There was Xerosic, a controller in his hands that we theoretically could take from him by force, but without the knowledge of its controls, would be utterly useless in our hands. Emma/Essentia was still yelling. Lance and Dragonite were glaring daggers at Xerosic, trying to intimidate him into subservience. Mimi was still there, trying to get Emma's attention. Trying to connect with her. Trying to stop her.

I called out to the Espurr.

"Mimi! Can you try to use your psychic powers again to do a deep dive into her mind and pull her consciousness forward? To wake her up?!"

"Sarah, no! We don't know what that would do to her!" Lance shouted. He turned back to me, trying to catch me before I did something. “Waking her up while she's in pain like this would only hurt her more!”

"But--! We can't just sit here and watch this!" He shook his head, just as frustrated as I was. “There's got to be something we can do to help her without hurting her...”

“UWAAAAAAUGGGGGHHHH!!!”

Emma had turned around, trying to thrash her head into the wall in an attempt to break the suit's helmet. Mimi cried out suddenly, using her psychic powers once more to try and hold her back. Espurrs were known for their immense psychic power; there were records of destruction from their excessive psychical force going out of control. And here she was, struggling to keep her human safe. Was this because of the design of the Expansion Suit, or was it because she was holding back, afraid of harming the human inside of it?

Xerosic gritted his teeth.

“....Fine.” He pressed a button on the remote he held. “AI system power down. Deactivate.”

There was one final scream as Essentia powered down, the visor on her helmet going dark. Mimi let go of her, psychic powers spent. She ran forward as Emma collapsed. Xerosic caught her, holding the girl carefully as her pain seemed to end.

“Emma!!” Looker quickly ran over, taking her from Xerosic's hold. He knelt down carefully, hastily trying to remove the helmet from the girl's head.

“Help me get this off of her!” He snapped at Xerosic. The scientist quietly removed it, and backed away as Looker sat on the floor, cradling the girl, speaking her name softly, over and over as he tried to get her to come to.

“Emma? Emma, can you hear me? It's Mr. Looker.”

“A....Are we... Done?” Her voice was weak. She took a deep breath and coughed, unaware of the shouting and screaming that her body had just done. She looked around feebly, eyes settling on the loud red suit that Xerosic wore.

“Yes, Emma. We're done for today. You did a good job. The trials are complete; I'm afraid your job is over.”

“Mmm... That's... too bad...” Emma yawned, slowly sitting up.

“Careful, Emma.”

She put a hand to the side of her head. “I have this enormous headache....” She paused. “Wait? Mr. Looker?!”

“Yes, Emma. I'm here. Are you okay?”

“I'm... I'm not sure.” She looked from him to Xerosic, who had turned away from the small reunion. “A-am I okay, Dr. Xerosic? Did I get into any trouble while I was asleep?”

Xerosic cleared his throat. “N-no, nothing of the sort. You behaved yourself as expected. Mr. Looker only came looking for you because he was concerned.”

“I thought it was a secret that I was working here?” She tilted her head, looking between the two. Xerosic and Looker exchanged looks, debating how much of the truth they were going to share with her right now. Looker spoke, carefully choosing his words.

“I found out where you were working; I was worried about you. But I see that you were in....” He paused, hesitating on the words he would use. “That you were okay.” With a grunt, he got up. He held out both of his hands to Emma, pulling her up as well. She wobbled a little at the sudden motion. Looker put an arm around her to hold her, and she gave a weak laugh.

“Eheh... I suppose that you're mad at me for not telling you, huh?”

“I cannot tell you the immeasurable relief that I have right now at seeing you.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind that, Emma. We'll talk more later. I think that we should head home. But first, I need to have a talk with Xerosic.” Looker looked at my husband and I. “These are my friends, Lance and Sarah. Would you two kindly take Emma back to the Bureau? I'll be sure to follow you soon.”

We nodded. Emma slowly turned to look at us, registering that there were other people in the room. And Pokemon. Aaaand....

“W-what happened in here while I was out?! This room looks like a mess!”

---

Looker had asked for time before he introduced us to Emma properly, and we obliged. After everything that had happened, no doubt the two of them needed some time to process. Lance had time prepared for him to stay in the city for a few days; an extension of time was only granted when needed. I didn't have anything pressing to go back to, so we used the spare time to do a small, sight-seeing tour of the city, stopping at all of the cafes and restaurants, the boutiques, even Prism Tower. On our last day there, we stopped by the Bureau-- after phoning ahead, of course.

“Welcome to the Looker Bureau--!” A teenage girl had greeted us, halting halfway as she saw who we were. “O-oh! You're the two that helped me and Mr. Looker, right?”

We nodded.

“Come in! I'm so glad I finally get to meet you properly! Give me just a moment.” And with that, she headed towards the back of the office space, poking her head behind the screen that hid the stairs. “Mr. Looker!!! Your friends are here!!!”

She turned back towards us, a grin on her face. Mimi came over to us, greeting us happily.

“And Mimi says hello to you, too! Oh, but don't try to pet her. She doesn't like adults.”

“Dang.” I turned to my husband, and said, “Sucks to be you, then.” I stuck out my tongue at him, and he rolled his eyes.

“Don't forget; you're in that category too.”

“Na-uh!”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Nope!”

Emma giggled at our banter. But before we could continue our little teasing conversation, Looker had come down the stairs, coffee mug in one hand and the other rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ah, Mr. Looker! Good morning to you!  Have you finally caught up on your rest?” Emma turned towards us to explain. “He stayed up all night while we were in the hospital; even though he was cleared to go, he stayed in my room, waiting for me to be cleared as well. He didn't sleep much. The doctors said I was fine, though! They were concerned that I don't remember my time as Essentia, so they recommended me to a neurologist. We'll be going to that next week.” She stuck her tongue out. “I don't like that I have to see so many doctors now.”

“Well, that's what happens when you grow up on the streets!” Looker said, giving her a scolding look. “We've gotta make sure that you're okay, especially since we don't know what damage Xerosic's experiment has done to you in the long run!”

We gave a small laugh at the paternal exchange between the two of them, Emma arguing that she was fine and didn't need to see so many doctors, while Looker tried to explain to her the importance of it. Eventually, they remembered that we were there, and broke off, embarrassed.

“I'm sorry you had to see that,” Looker said. “We haven't had any arguments yet until this Essentia thing happened, so we don't seem to know when to give and take yet.” He looked pointedly at Emma when he said that.

“Well, I'm sure that's what happens when you're a new father,” I teased. “It could be worse. You could have picked up a kid off the street with an attitude problem.”

Lance turned to me, mildly offended. “Silver needs guidance, and understanding.”

“Yes, yes, and a proper father figure, and all of that. You're doing so well with him, sweetie.” I patted his chest.

“You'll have to give me some pointers sometime,” Looker said, looking away. He took a sip of his coffee.

Emma wasted no time in picking up the conversation.

“Mr. Looker told me that you two are Pokemon Champions! What's that like?”

“Well, uh...” I pointed at my husband. “He's the one that's kept the status that comes with the title. I've defeated many other Champions from around the world, though.”

“I think that makes you a Champion, dear.”

I stuck my tongue out at my husband again.

“You'll have to tell me about your adventures sometime! That is, if you don't mind sharing!”

Lance smiled at her politely, pointedly ignoring my childish response. “I don't think that'll be an issue, right Sarah?”

I gave up. “I don't mind if you don't mind listening to us. We've got all sorts of different stories. He's got some from his work with the Pokemon G-Men, and I've got a lot from my travels. I'll give you my number and e-mail before we leave.”

Looker cleared his throat, and we all looked at him. Emma tilted her head. “Did you need a cough drop, Mr. Looker?”

“No, no. I just... Didn't have a better way to interrupt.” He paused, and no one said anything. “Right then. Lance, Sarah. I cannot thank you enough for your help in this case. The two of you have proven yourselves to be invaluable partners. I'm not sure what would have happened if you hadn't answered my request. I officially announce this case as closed!” Looker lifted his mug up while Emma clapped happily.

“And if either of you ever want a job with Interpol, just let me know.”

[ajokeformur-ray]

not me missing my ex but telling him he cant hurt people like that and him getting mad at me then blocking me then sending me the longest text ive ever seen in my life and telling me without him id be dead then me saying without him i wouldnt be dead but id be better off then him becoming a sarcastic bitch then me saying fuck you and blocking him and picking my stuff up from his house after five months

Due to the sensitive nature of this ask and the similar nature of my response, I have placed everything under a cut.

You can probably work out the triggers for yourself, but just in case:

TW; abusive relationship, toxic ex-boyfriend, toxic relationship. 

If these things may trigger you, please consider not reading this.

Hello, darling!💗🤗

We spoke about this a little bit in our DMs a few days ago so hopefully there isn’t much which is regurgitated in this response! 🌸 I’ve done my best to put a bit more thought into this response and I hope that something here comforts you or is of use or is just something you need to hear, darling!💙

Firstly, I want to tell you how proud I am of you!💖 It takes a great deal of strength to leave a person and/or a situation which is detrimental to our mental and physical health and well-being, and it takes even more strength and courage and bravery to do that when that person is someone you love. If something or someone costs you your peace of mind, then it’s too expensive and I’m proud of you for doing what’s best for you, my love.

It is very freeing and scary to speak out against someone’s actions when they’ve harmed you in any way, at least in my experience, and I am so proud of you, darling!🧡The way he invalidated your feelings and got mad at you rather than accepting that he had mistreated you and abused you and the way he didn’t offer any kind of apology speaks loudly about how immature and toxic he is. People don’t like to be told when they’ve hurt someone, but to lash out at you is incredibly toxic and it’s disgusting behaviour. You deserve much better, honey, and right now is the best time for you to recentre yourself and to heal. 

He blocked you and took away your voice and your ability to express yourself on the platform you were talking to him with and I’m so sorry that he did that to you, especially considering he then sent you a text???😡😡😡In other words, he was telling you that you’re not worth listening to, but you have to listen to him, which is almost an abuser trademark, and I’m so sorry that he treated you so horrifically during your relationship and even after it, too.

He was wrong and you are right - without him, you are better off. You are freer and you are no longer weighed down with an abusive piece of shit. I’m sorry for my aggressive language, but as someone who literally had to run for her life from an abusive situation and a toxic and abusive boyfriend, hearing about how others are being abused or have been abused really angers me and it upsets me, too. It’d upset anyone to hear about it, of course, but having a first person perspective on a situation really makes the empathy a little stronger and I am deeply sorry that this has happened to you.

YES BLOCK HIM 👏👏👏👏👏 I am so proud of you for no longer taking his shit, for taking back your life and your sense of self, for standing up for yourself, for ending a toxic and abusive relationship, and for doing something for you. 👏👏👏 Darling you are amazing, you are strong, you are so brave and courageous, and I’m so so proud of you!!🥰💜🌸💗💙🤗 

Finally, I have some things to say which I needed to hear when I left my trauma and I hope that they’re things you need to hear, too:

This was not your fault.

You did not deserve this.

You are not to blame.

You do not need him.

I am proud of you.

I love you.

Thank you for sending this in, angel, and I hope that something here is what you need or want to hear! I’m sending you so much love and strength and if you have anything else you want to talk about, then please don’t be shy, my love!💖 I love you and I’m so sorry for what’s happened to you, and I’m proud of you!😊💝

[luked4nuke]

If, I were President of the United States. (I just wanna state I’m not a democrat or republican)

First I’d enforce Quarantine and extend it. I’d also attend the poorest families or individuals first and provide them with the financial assistance they need. People are struggling hard enough as it is living paycheck to paycheck.

Second I’d shut down the schools as I believe safty more important especially for the future kids who will rule this place. I also don’t like how schools give so much homework and stress. They just condition kids into beleiving working 40 hours a week is normal and that you should be lucky to have weekends. Staying in classes all day then returning home only to be forced to complete more homework that takes up time and robs them of social interactions. These schools don’t even test knowledge. They test obedience and reward them for being quiet little slaves that will slowly become a “regular worker.” They really don’t care about how smart you are, they test memory over all else, when they study a subject and pass the test they move on quickly to the next one stressing them out. If they failed the test, to bad they’re still moving on with you. (Sorry this got way of topic. I just hate how schools operate and also how low they pay the teachers)

Third I would dismantle the police force and create a new one. A better one that focuses on real problems like sex trafficking and drugs. All the horrible crimes that are allowed to fly under the radar. Any excessive use of force would be heavily punished. Fired, fined and jail time. No shooting at peaceful protesters, seriously dafaq is wrong with them unleashing hell upon unarmed civilians and sneaking in rioters to escalate it to justify the force.

Fourth, gold is a finite resource. Pretty much all the money you’ve ever spent is fake, all digital backed by nothing. Personally I hate it but you’ve all becomes achstomed to it so I would attempt to fix the economy so people can afford essential things, like homes and food. Instead of kicking out homeless people Id build shelters. They make it to easy to fall down into poverty and nearly impossible to climb back up. Once you’ve been arrested, once you’ve been homeless, you understand the struggle of trying to reintergrate with society. The easiest path become the dark one. I would attempt to control the population, America is a gigantic habitat and likewise it has a carrying capacity. If you’re gonna argue people have to pay unreasonable amounts of money for food you’re crazy.

Immigrants are definitely allowed as long as they follow the rules and don’t commit crimes. America was litterally founded on immigrants. American stole land from the natives violently and even managed to capture Hawaii, which was its own nation. They taxed us and recognized us as a small power. Iolani Palace has electricity flush toilets and even phones before the White House did. Queen Lili’uokalani signed in duress. It horrible and sheforfeited her whole kingdom in exchange for the people, as a leader should. The people make a country, the government already should put the people first. Without all the hardworking Americans working, there is no country.

We don’t serve the government. As a government worker we serve the people. It’s our duty to ensure everybody is treated fairly. To make sure everybody that we oversee has the essentials for life, a home and food.

And for LGBT rights. I personally don’t care what the heck they do. Love is love, let it be. They can chose to identify as whoever they want and pursue relationships with whoever. You can’t force things onto people. America is supposed to be freedom personified, we can chose to do as we please as long as we don’t bring harm to others. Those camps are wrong. America is also religion free, you can be whatever you want, Christian Muslim, litterally anything. Being a satanist is totally legal as long as you don’t hurt anything. Believe in what you want and don’t force it on others. Gay people are amazing! We all are, were all human and we can change and create change. We are all human at the core and we always have been. We have a right to love, and to be loved by all around us. Love is love, let it be, theres always been love. I can identify as a man or woman, and I can damn well love either as I please as long it’s reciprocated. I’d always rather say I love you too much then not enough.

Climate change is real. The pollution of those stupidly large companies is also VERY real. As an individual you contribute less than a percent of the actual pollution, it’s literally the big corporations. That needs to stop. I’m not exactly sure how but I AM GOING to start a wave of change that will benefit the worlds health. We all live here. This is not political, I don’t have time for games, scientists that have studied their whole lives are begging for us to change. We can all have solar electricity farms and then it’d be FREE. “But you can’t charge people for that you can’t make money.” I’m NOT TRYING TO MAKE MONEY I DO NOT CARE ANOUT MONEY. IM AIMING FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN GREED THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY. I don’t care about ruining electric companies and other random fossil fuels bullshits that will run out, I want the future to be bright!

Screw it im going off the rails, schools main courses should focus on stuff like self sustainment, like farming and wilderness survival. Creativity because that’s the most human thing about us! Empathy basic Psychology. Kids can get mad they should learn and understand why. Understand why they feel the feelings they feel and giving them all better emotional control. EMPATHY. They need to learn things like taxes since they’re such a big part. Also why the heck are taxes so complicated. It’s just targeting the illiterate foreigners and immigrants who struggle and try to understand it and I believe that’s horrible. Make it easier to become apart of America the land of freedom and the getaway from the crueler areas of earth. Maybe just limit the population. Also seriously fuck off with taxes! Why the hell are you charging and taxing 14 year olds that aren’t allowed to vote, thats taxation without representation.

Taxes should be like Mario kart and Ancient Greece. Quote from some thing I googled

“The philosopher Aristotle developed the theme. His "magnificent man" gave vast sums to the community. But poor men could never be "magnificent" because they did not have the financial means. True wealth consists in doing good, Aristotle argued in the Art of Rhetoric: in handing out money and gifts, and helping others to maintain an existence.

The idea is simple the higher up you are on the financial ladder the more you have to pay taxes and contribute to society. The large taxes from the rich help fund financial aid for the poor and stuff. The rich did not earn that money they climbed to top on top a mountain of millions of shortcuts and underpaid workers It should be an honor to be taxed and help the poor people survive. Like in Mario kart, the higher you’re placed the harder it is to maintain it and the last place people always get the better power ups giving them a constant fighting chance. At most I believe wealth should be hoarded to sustain like one generation of kids, two at the most. Maybe three but theres no reason anybody should have all that money that your never going to spend or all that money that becomes worthless once a war or breaks out or aliens attack or something. Life is more important than money. Something simple everyone should consider.

I think everybody should be able to pursue a career and each career should be sustainable. Enjoyment in a job of your choosing without worrying about financial burden. Jobs would be divided into smaller simple groups and the pay would based on their contribution to society. Like doctors getting paid more and getting teachers paid more, but small retailers wouldn’t get paid as much but they could survive not living paycheck to paycheck. The motivation is everybody should free to pursue the hobby they love without being punished. Maybe little Timmy doesn’t want to be a firefighter, maybe he desires a simple fun life selling flowers. That’s fine! Maybe they don’t wanna become the hero but it’ll be an honor to society. As long as you have a job that contributes to society you can live for free. If everybody is constantly trying to make the most profit, then we all become a bucket of crabs dragging each other down. I can’t sell my $10 good that costed me $2 to make. Also the whole buy back thing irritates me, I spent $60 on this goddamn game and GameStop can only give me like $10 in store credit or $5 in real life? That’s isn’t fair and that applies to pretty much everything. That’s $1000 phone you bought is barley worth $357 right now. I’m pretty sure it didn’t cost that much to make these things but like DAMN. Capitalism sucks.

In summary, I don’t know much about politics but I would be the human party. I don’t care about left or right. I’m the one that doesn’t care about money. I care more about life and creativity. Peoples right to enjoyment and living a happy life with others regardless of gender. Survival of the human race and advancement into the future where more things are free and we can constantly focus on creating an even BETTER one. We can’t go anywhere without each other especially if we’re all just a bucket of crabs. To greedy and self destructive constantly looking out only for themselves. Seriously get your act together humans before you kickstart your own downfall. If we’re all trying to make a profit, nobody does. The best things in life are free. You can pursue wealth for your future or you can focus and live and enjoy and love the now. Mario kart style, where all in this race for life and we all deserve a winning chance.

[illegiblewords]

Some thoughts on critique and sharing work online.

Personally taking offense to the practice of critiquing strangers is pretty destructive imo. I’m not talking about useless insults, or about entitled critics who throw fits if an author doesn’t tailor their work to them. I’m not even talking about the process of sifting through a mean comment to find a shred of something useful.

I developed my own work in part through kind and supportive critics who started off as strangers. A bunch of them have become good friends even to this day, over ten years later. One who I lost contact with (but still remember clearly and am eternally grateful toward) was a guy who commented that I was neglecting setting and physical description in my work. He told me he could see I had talent, but missing that element was a big earmark of fanfic writers. Understandable, but pushing myself to address it would be worthwhile.

He’d never had a single conversation with me before. What he said has played a huge part in how my work has developed. He granted me an opportunity to grow as a creator that without him, I might not have noticed to practice.

I also witnessed, at the time, people who got nasty and discouraging as basic course against budding writers. I was aware that pleasing those critics was a kind of accomplishment because if they didn’t like something they wouldn’t hesitate to say so, but I didn’t and still don’t think that behavior is right for new writers. Or in-general, really.

I’ve had people insult my own work in some really ugly ways, mostly to my face. My writing was compared to mud, called gimmicky, described as (paraphrasing to avoid possible ID) something gratuitous and empty and cheap. The most extreme of these cases were done by professors in front of entire classes during college. I’ve had professors threaten to fail me when I asked for clarification on a critique (how do you shorten a piece when you add content to it?) and I’ve had people I thought were friends so discourage me on the potential of my projects that I just dropped them. Sometimes it got bad to the point that I honestly questioned whether I had any talent and felt deeply ashamed of my work. I’ve won awards since (which ngl real validating right there) and am still working to overcome the worst baggage.

I truly understand how discouraging feedback like that can be. It’s hard, and sometimes it sucks a lot, but as storytellers I believe we have some responsibility to our craft, to ourselves, and to our audiences. It requires being able to step back and ask ourselves honestly what feedback has a kernel of something useful and what is just mean and should be discarded. There is a level of self-possession you just need to own for the sake of what you’re attempting, to know your intent in both making and sharing your work. To judge whether or not you’re meeting that. And if being clear and resonating (at least more often than not) with our audiences is a priority, we need to be willing to “cut up our babies” so to speak so that we can share our ideas as well as we possibly can.

It can be scary to share something you’ve made online. This goes for people just starting and veterans. It’s especially true in current year. I’ve personally seen creators get harassed into suicide attempts by cybermobs numbering in the hundreds. In some of the cases I witnessed, cybermob members even got arrested for this. The phenomenon, which is remarkably prone to targeting creators struggling with mental illness or “model minorities”, is absolutely horrifying and unacceptable. Even if the targets had been bigoted assholes (they weren’t), the cybermobs still would have been the bigger evil.

From a disgruntled audience member standpoint, if someone commits a crime online they need to be reported to the authorities. Not subject to the will of a mob. If someone writes, draws, or otherwise presents something insensitive and personally offensive--you can voice your criticism, but that work has the right to exist too. And rather than try to control another person if they aren’t interested in adjusting, you would be better off not engaging them. Make something of your own and celebrate creators who do fit what you’re looking for.

Cybermobs are not normal critique, but they are more prevalent than normal critique these days. We are currently in a time where people don’t know how to have conversations about ways to improve without personally attacking or outright threatening each other. This goes for those giving and receiving critique. It’s caused some massive problems and has led to many creators being afraid to even try, let alone share their work.

Having someone who respects and believes in your writing, who wants to watch you continue growing, and who won’t begrudge you choosing to discard their advice? That only presents an opportunity to creators for honest insight.

People get scared to offer critique too--especially if they sincerely want to help a creator they respect. Writers can be very sensitive and defensive. How could it be otherwise when you put so much heart into your work and someone tells you a way you can do it more effectively? It’s easy to treat that person like they’re trying to hurt or discourage you, when in reality it’s that they see you building something with an inefficient tool and know another tool that would work better for what you’re trying to make.

Critics are just people. They take their own risks when they execute craft.

We desperately do need to practice healthy critique in storytelling today, as creators and audience members. It used to be common for people to simply say “no critique please!” if they weren’t interested, which was generally respected. To instead try to shift things so that any person who dares approach a stranger with constructive criticism is doing something rude or immoral I think is not just counterproductive but potentially toxic harmful toward writing communities.

[grouchythefish]

The 2010s, year by year.

I was inspired by @puzzled-dragon on twitter but but would rather do this here. I did not realize this decade sucked so hard. I put this under a read more because it’s long and sad af. I did not INTENTIONALLY make this depressing but thinking to each year these ARE the things I think of first. There’s a happy ending though, I promise. If this is too long, just read the first and last year and you’ll probably get the picture. (tw: depression, self-harm, death, suicidal thoughts, car accidents, sexual assault):

2010: Went on my first plane ride to visit my brother in San Francisco! Went to my first show that summer (warped tour - Sum 41!), then My Chemical Romance in December. Started volunteering with the Teen Advisory Board at the library. This was the year I first started realizing I had some mental health issues. My grandmother, who I was very close to, passed away. I was dealing with depression and self harming and learned I have ADHD. Started questioning my sexuality.

2011: The year of the January mystery evacuation! My strongest memories of this year are the summer. went to Warped Tour again (Motion City Soundtrack and Paramore!), joined Tumblr in July. I took 2 months of summer school by choice that year during which I read the Handmaid’s Tale and had a bit of a feminist awakening. Gwen and I started our band and started doing shows together. Started questioning my gender.

2012: Started IDing as asexual. Got into urbex for a little while. Graduated high school. Went to Warped Tour for the last time. Saw Mindless Self Indulgence and had my first serious panic attack. Started a visual arts degree at York. Lived on campus and lost a lot of weight REAL fast and got VERY sick. Now that I was 18 and no longer living with my parents I finally started getting treatment for my ADHD. Realized I was agender.

2013: Started playing quidditch and getting involved with York’s Harry Potter club (Ministry of Magic) where I met @ominouspotato and @puzzled-dragon​. Realized I was bisexual. Got my first job (tim hortons) then my first apartment (A complete disaster) My depression and anxiety got real bad towards the end of this year. I did go to a lot of shows though. (Fall Out Boy and Motion City Soundtrack come to mind) Started listening to WTNV not knowing that this would absolutely be a gateway podcast for me. 

2014: Moved in with my aunt Bev (not really my aunt) in Scarborough for the first half of the year then my parents for the second half. Bought my first binder. Became a Ministry of Magic exec. Saw WTNV live. Met my (now) ex at a PATD show in Feb, we started dating in Nov. Took the via rail for the first time.  Was sexually assaulted on my first date (I have never told anyone this until right now). Rode the go train a lot. Started trying to change my major to Digital Media.

2015: Moved back in with my aunt Bev and lived there for the whole year. (At the time I hated it but in retrospect she was real cool about a lot of stuff) Saw Motion City Soundtrack for the third and final time :’(. This is the year @ghirahims-left-shoe​ and I met Frank Iero and Gerard Way (who said my drawing were awesome!!!!!) Moved into the Forest Hill apartment (a mistake). Realized university was going nowhere for me. Saw WTNV live again.

2016: Dropped out of York and started at Seneca for Interactive Media Design. My (now) ex moved in with me and my roommates and shit hit the fan which resulted in us packing up and moving back to my home town (Cue the worst 3 years of my life) Got my G2 and started driving regularly, got in my first car accident. I worked 6 different jobs this year. My tax return was hell. I started getting really into podcasts this year.

2017: Started off real fucking depressed over the US election and somehow ended up turning to mbmbam to cope (a mutual on tumblr suggested it and I wish I remembered who so I could thank them for changing my life). Commuted to Toronto 5 days a week this whole year. Got engaged. Bought my first car in August (a beige impala). Had my first car written off in November when someone rear ended me on the 400. Bought my red elantra that I still have now. Joined the MBMBAM Gaming Server when I was at a very low point that fall and it was a god send - met some really really good friends though this. Joined roller derby. First realized I was in an abusive relationship.

2018: Got in another car accident. Quit my job in Toronto because I couldn’t handle the commute anymore after getting in 2 accidents in the same winter. Traveled to Detroit to see mbmbam live. Went through a YMCA employment program, which is how I got the most soulless job ever - but it was a short commute, looked great on my resume, and paid okay so I sucked it up. My depression and anxiety got worse and worse and I kept ignoring it, kept thinking if I just acted like things were fine they eventually would be (fake it til you make it is bullshit btw). Tried to leave my fiance a handful of times but never could. Tried and failed many many times to pass the roller derby minimum skills test. Started isolating myself more and more from my irl friends. My laptop kicked the bucket in August and I couldn’t afford to replace it.

2019 (Jan-Aug): In March I both got my dream job and went on my first big trip (New Orleans to visit my brother)! Got my first tattoo in July. My depression didn’t go away, though. I quit roller derby. A few doctor’s visits and many different ADHD medication trials later I found myself at my lowest point. I wasn’t sleeping but I also struggled to get out of bed. I felt like work was the only thing I could do so it was all I did and my anxiety only fueled this further. I thought that there was no one in the world who cared about me. I saw myself as a problem to the people around me. Something that needed to be removed. I was researching what pills I could overdose on and how many it would take and I started making real plans to kill myself in September. 

Spoiler: I didn’t! 

2019 (Sept-Dec): I saw a new doctor, took a break from work, and started on anti-depressants for the first time ever. Everything changed. I traveled to Buffalo to meet friends from the mbmbam gaming server and had online friends come to Barrie to visit me. I reconnected with my university friends after 2 years of self-isolation and we see each other regularly now. I went on my first solo trip to visit Gwen in BC and we are starting a podcast together (!!!). I found out my friends are also doing podcasts! I started working on having a better relationship with my siblings (we’re not there yet but making progress). I started coming out to people irl as agender for the first time and requesting they use my chosen name and pronouns. I replaced my laptop and started making art again! I applied for a bunch of zines and got into one! I finally worked up the strength to break up with my fiance for real. Just in these last few months I’ve made more new friends and spent more time with them than in the last 3 years put together. (If you are one of those new friends, I’m sorry if I’m weird or awkward, or say too much or too little or just the wrong things, I got used to not having friends and genuinely don’t remember how to be around people. Please be patient with me, I’m trying to get better.)

2020: I just had the first new years eve in a decade where I felt I was ending the year better than I started it. Things aren’t perfect (I still need my ex to move out, I still live in a town that makes me depressed, I’m still not out to my family, I’m still looking for a therapist) but for the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to the future.