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olddirtybadfic · 10 months ago

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You Got Played: Bandit Keith Howard Must Die Inside (Part Five of Five)

In which I turn a Yu-Gi-Oh fic into a cheesy teen movie (that most teens wouldn't even be allowed into without a fake ID).

Part one is here. Part two is here. Part three is here. Part four is here.

This fic contains: Teen!me laboring under the delusion that Bandit Keith is the same age as Yugi and company; song lyrics inserted into the prose; mpreg (bonus “even pregnancy of the male variety does not work that way” content); Bandit Keith being a prick; all the characters are kind of idiots; author’s notes to give track listings; cheating; terrible OC; terrible OC slut-shames Kaiba; Noah Kaiba somehow being alive and bizarrely invested in his brother’s romantic life; Yami/Atem is corporeal for some reason; artistic liberties taken with medical technology

-O-o-O-o-O-

Meanwhile, Kyra had her own plan.

Kyra didn’t care that Keith had sex with Kaiba; hell, she had cheated a few times, too. But for Kaiba to just steal Keith from her like that—that was completely unacceptable by her standards. She wasn’t going to let any trenchcoat-wearing, Blue Eyes White Dragon-loving freak steal her man.

So that afternoon, when she spotted Kaiba walking down the street, little brother in tow, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into an area surrounded by bushes and trees. Mokuba saw her grab Kaiba and followed them.

“What the hell?!” Kaiba exclaimed. As Kyra stopped dragging him, he tripped and ended up on the ground. Kyra looked down at him as if she was an arrogant princess and he was a lowly peasant.

‘No matter what you do, He’ll never wanna be with you. He’s into what he’s got (and that’s me), He loves me, He loves you not.’ (author's note: He Loves You Not - Dream)

Kaiba got up, brushed his clothes off, and glared at Kyra.

Kyra had heard Kaiba’s outburst about Keith cheating. She didn’t appreciate Kaiba’s attempt to get his man back.

“What is your problem?!” Kaiba shouted.

“I don’t appreciate you moving in on my man,” Kyra said, evilly, yet seductively.

“What?! He cheated on me with you!” Kaiba retorted.

Kyra shook her head. “Kaiba, you’re so wrong, you’re right. Don’t you realize that Keith never thought of you as a boyfriend? He looks at you as a whore.”

“Don’t call me a prostitute.” Kaiba’s voice got low and threatening, which would be pretty freaking scary if he snuck up on you in a dark alley. “I don’t go sleeping around with everyone and I didn’t get paid for what I did.”

“Well, I’m not gonna let a whore like you steal my boyfriend just because your damn condom popped!” Kyra shouted.

“Well, maybe you should because I had him first!” Kaiba retorted.

“That’s a heaping pile of bullshit! I had him first! I’ve had him for a whole month!” Kyra shouted.

Kaiba’s eyes went wide. Kyra sensed weakness and went in for the kill.

“So, how long have you been dating Keith, Kaiba?” Kyra asked.

Kaiba said nothing.

“Come on, Kaiba, tell me how long you two dated!” Kyra pressed, still smiling evilly.

“That is none of your business, Kyra,” Kaiba growled.

“Why don’t I go ask Keith myself? I’m sure he’ll be happy to tell me how long you two dated. Or should I ask Noah? And he’ll surely want to hear what you did with Keith after he tells me, won’t he?” Kyra taunted.

Kaiba turned red. “Do not test me, Kyra.”

“Then tell me how long you and Keith dated, damn it!”

“We dated for two weeks. Then he started to ignore me.”

“I knew it! I knew he couldn’t have been with you for that long! He only stayed with you long enough to get in your pants, which, since you’re such a whore, obviously wasn’t long!” Kyra laughed evilly.

“Hold up!” Mokuba walked into the clearing. “I don’t know much about this whole situation, but it seems like you two are getting mad at each other for no reason. I mean, you didn’t know that Seto was dating Keith. And Seto didn’t know that you were dating Keith. It seems to me that the real bad guy here is Bandit Keith. He played both of you like Nintendo 64.”

Kaiba and Kyra looked at each other, in silence, for a moment. Finally Kaiba spoke. “What do you propose we do about it, Mokuba?”

“I propose that you play him back.”

-O-o-O-

A few minutes later, Keith was walking through the park when he saw the most repulsive thing ever (in his opinion).

Kaiba and Kyra were French-kissing on a bench.

“What the fuck is this?!” Keith shouted when he saw them.

Kaiba and Kyra looked up at Keith, then turned back to each other and continued kissing.

“Don’t you turn away from me!” Keith pulled Kyra off of Kaiba. “What the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend, Kaiba?!”

“We’re kissing. Couldn’t you tell?” Kaiba deadpanned.

“Kaiba, there are a million other girls in Domino. Why’d you have to choose my girlfriend?!”

“He chose me because we’re both tired of getting played by you,” Kyra answered.

“What?!” Keith tried to play dumb.

“Don’t act like you don’t know, Bandit Keith. You made both of us believe that we were the only one you were dating. You just wanted to get in both of our pants and feel like you were some kind of sex king for it,” Kaiba said.

“But why are you complaining, Kaiba? You know you liked it,” Keith said, trying to grab Kaiba’s butt again. Kaiba not only pulled away violently, but kicked Keith off of himself. Keith grabbed Kaiba and, before Kaiba could do anything about it, he began to kiss Kaiba on the lips. Kaiba pulled away and spat on the ground.

“You taste like shit!” Kaiba shouted.

Keith only laughed at this. “I love it when you’re nasty, Kaiba. You’re so sexy when you’re mad.”

“Then I must be really sexy now, because you’re really pissing me off!” Mokuba had to hold Kaiba back before Kaiba could cause any bodily harm to Keith.

Then Kyra turned to Keith. “Y’know, you’re a real pig. First, you cheated on me. Then, you tricked Kaiba into sleeping with you and you treat him like a cheap whore. Then you plan to dump him when he’s having your kid. Pardon my French, but you’re an asswipe!” Kyra shouted.

“Well, you shouldn’t be complaining either. You’re a whole lot hotter than Kaiba, so I’ll always come back to you,” Keith said smugly.

“Not this time, Keith! You know that little thing between you and me that’s called a relationship? Yeah, about that: it’s over!” Kyra shouted.

Keith’s jaw dropped at least two inches. Kaiba walked over to him.

“Bandit Keith, if you play with fire, you just might get burned,” Kaiba said.

-O-o-O-

After Keith had walked off, stupefied by what Kaiba and Kyra did, Mokuba, Kaiba, and Kyra shared a victory high-five.

“That was so great! You two really put Keith in his place!” Mokuba cheered.

“We sure did,” Kaiba said.

“Kaiba, I’m sorry I called you a whore. I didn’t mean it, you’re really not a bad guy,” Kyra said.

“It’s okay,” Kaiba said. “And I’m sorry I almost stole your boyfriend.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know he was dating me.”

As Kyra turned to leave, she said, “And you’re not a bad kisser either.”

Kaiba blushed. “Thanks.”

Later that day, Kaiba was walking down the street, alone. He was happy that he had put Keith in his place, but he was sad that Keith wouldn’t ever want to be with him. A part of him hated Keith and wanted him to drop off the face of the earth, yet another part of him wanted Keith to come back and take responsibility for his actions.

“What am I supposed to do with his child? I can’t raise it all by myself,” Kaiba thought. “And why would Keith want to do what he did? Why would he just take my virginity, then dump me like that? How could I be so stupid?!”

‘How you gonna up and leave me now? How you gonna act like that? How you gonna change it up? We just finished making up. How you gonna act like that?’

Kaiba reached his home. He went up to his room and lay down.

‘How you gonna act like we don’t be making love? You know we be tearing it up, breaking stuff, and getting rough. How you gonna trip, How can you forget? How you gonna act like that?’ (author's note: How You Gonna Act Like That - Tyrese)

Mokuba went into Kaiba’s room. He found Kaiba lying on the bed, staring into space.

“I can’t believe Noah was right, Mokuba. I acted like such a pompous idiot. He kept trying to warn me and I wouldn’t listen,” Kaiba whispered.

“Seto, you’re not an idiot. You were just being protective of your boyfriend because you loved him. It’s not your fault that Keith was a low-down cheater. You deserve someone better than him, anyway, so forget about him,” Mokuba said.

“But how can I forget about him?! I’m having his kid!” Kaiba growled.

“Don’t worry, Seto, we’ll figure something out. Everything will be okay,” Mokuba said, hugging Kaiba.

Noah heard their conversation and entered the room. “Are you okay in here?”

“Noah, you were right. I should’ve listened to you when you said that Keith was cheating on me. I’m a jerk,” Kaiba said.

“No, you’re not a jerk. I didn’t want to be right. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. I only wanted you to be happy,” Noah said.

Kaiba’s exhaled heavily. “Thanks,” he said, starting to smile again.

“But you say you’re having Keith’s child. How can you break up with him?” Mokuba asked.

Noah took a second to recover from this shocking news, then he responded, “He can’t, Mokuba. I’m going to go to Bandit Keith and force him to take responsibility for what he did.”

“You can’t do that, Noah. He’ll only end up cheating again,” Kaiba said.

Then, Mokuba thought of something that changed everything. “What if it’s not Keith’s?” he mused to himself.

He didn’t realize that Noah had heard him. “What did you say?”

Mokuba realized that he had said it out loud. “Uh, nothing?”

“It’s okay, Mokuba, he’d find out sooner or later, and I’d rather it be sooner than later,” Kaiba said. “I did it with Yugi, too.”

Noah stared at Kaiba in shock. “Did it ever occur to you that it could be Yugi’s child?”

“No, it didn’t. Because I started getting the symptoms after I did it with Keith. It couldn’t be Yugi’s kid,” Kaiba stated.

“Well, just to be sure, I’m taking you to the doctor to find out,” Noah said.

Due to amazing advances in technology (and the fact that this is just a fictional story), a machine had been invented so an expectant mother could tell who the father of the child was. All they would need was a sample of Yugi’s DNA.

They had their sample; it was a few strands of Yugi’s hair, taken from Kaiba’s trenchcoat. They knew it was Yugi’s hair because it was tri-colored and they made sure it was Yugi’s and not Yami’s.

“I’m telling you, it’s not Yugi’s child. You’re wasting your time, Noah,” Kaiba said, as they went to the doctor.

“I just want to be sure, Seto,” Noah said.

After the test, the doctor showed them the results. “Seto Kaiba, I have determined that the father of your baby is Yugi.”

“I knew it,” Noah thought.

“I can’t believe it,” Kaiba thought.

That night, Kaiba reflected on the events of the day, as he lay in bed. He had put his cheating boyfriend in his place, successfully broken the news about his situation to Noah, and found out who the true father of his child was.

“But will Yugi even look at me after I ran off yesterday? I bet he’s already moved on. He thinks that it’s Keith’s child. He probably thinks I’m a freak. That Blue Eyes underwear was a little weird,” Kaiba thought.

As Kaiba drifted off to sleep, he thought, “Where do I go from here?”

-O-o-O-

The next evening, Yugi decided to go to the park to listen to music. It was a nice, quiet day. The setting sun painted the sky brilliant shades of red and violet. Yugi listened to his portable tape player, admiring the nature while running through the park.

Kaiba, who had decided to stop moping around the house and go outside, was walking through the park, too. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice the sunset that much.

It was getting dark. Yugi was wearing black as he walked toward Kaiba. Kaiba didn’t see Yugi and Yugi wasn’t really watching where he was going. The two ran smack into each other, knocking them both over.

“Oh, crap! I’m so sorry, Kaiba!” Yugi exclaimed, running over to help Kaiba up.

“Yugi, we’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” Kaiba said, smiling as he got up.

“I keep knocking you off your feet,” Yugi commented.

“In more ways than one,” Kaiba thought silently. He said out loud, “Yugi, I have to tell you something.”

Yugi looked up with interest. “So do I.”

“I love you, Yugi,” Kaiba said quickly.

Yugi stared at Kaiba. “That’s certainly different.”

“If you don’t love me back, I’ll understand,” Kaiba said, turning away.

“No, I do. That’s what I wanted to tell you. I love you, too,” Yugi said.

“Really?” Kaiba asked.

“Really,” Yugi answered.

Yugi and Kaiba hugged.

“Yugi, I have something else to tell you. I’m pregnant with your child,” Kaiba said.

“But, I thought it was Keith’s child,” Yugi said.

“No. I was wrong. It’s yours,” Kaiba said.

“Then, maybe we can get married,” Yugi said.

They sat down on a bench.

“Do you wanna listen to music?” Yugi asked.

“Sure,” Kaiba answered.

Yugi took out the tape player, put a tape in, pressed play.

As they listened to the music, Yugi remembered something that had happened in PE class. “Remember in PE when we had to learn the tango?”

Kaiba chuckled. “It was disastrous. The teacher paired us up and I was too tall to dance with you properly.”

“And I kept stepping on your feet,” Yugi added.

They listened to the music for a while. Suddenly, a song came on that got their attention.

‘Watch the band, Through a bunch of dancers. Quickly, Follow the unknown.’

“Our song is playing,” Yugi joked. “Let’s dance.”

“You think our dancing will be any better?” Kaiba asked.

“Well, I’ve gotten taller and I’ll try not to step on your feet,” Yugi said. “Let’s try the tango.”

“You don’t wanna do such a dance with me. I can’t,” Kaiba said.

“You’ll be fine,” Yugi said.

They began to dance. Kaiba was surprisingly good at it.

“You’re really good at this,” Yugi said.

Kaiba smiled. “Thanks, Yugi.”

They continued to dance in the final twilight of the setting sun.

‘Courage, my word, didn’t come it doesn’t matter. Courage, couldn’t come at a worse time.’ (author's note: Courage - Sarah Polley (I heard it in an episode of Charmed))

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you're going to two-time a guy, make sure he's not better at card games than you.

#yugioh fanfiction #ygo dm #mpreg #seto kaiba x yugi muto #rivalshipping #seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #yugi muto #bandit keith #kaiba brothers #noah kaiba #eliteshipping #seto kaiba x bandit keith #old fic #songfic

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avengers-age-of-fanfics · 4 years ago

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just for you, honeybee (3/?)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, steve rogers x reader (platonic)

word count: 3,986

authors note: part three!!!! I'm honestly so happy with how this is turning out so please leave feedback and lmk how I'm doing! thank you all so much :)

warnings: swearing, super soldier serum injection, needles, drinking

summary: dating back to 1943, you, james barnes, and steve rogers were best friends, including bucky being your boyfriend. when you get a notice that bucky died in the war, you make it your mission to find closure for yourself and protect steve as he is the only remaining piece of bucky you have left. once you are offered the super soldier serum, you and steve must make your way through world war 2 - and the unknown future hardships to come.

recap: You picked at your nails, anxiety swallowing you whole, “and what if you don’t make it back, either?”

“I will.”

It had only taken you 5 days to make up your mind: either go with Steve as he finishes out his mission with the army or wait in Brooklyn upon his return. “Well,” you always bit back, “if you return.”

You did not want to stay in Brooklyn and wait for Steve to come back. You had done that with Bucky and after learning his tragic death, you needed to go with Steve. You didn’t care who you had to fight – you were protecting Steve Rogers and looking after him, just like James would have wanted.

Peggy Carter immediately welcomed you and seemed somewhat relieved when you had met with them outside your apartment complex, bags packed and ready to go. She had given you a soft smile and a nod, making you feel more at calm with your decision. However, before you left, you needed to say goodbye – just in case.

Dressed in a tie-neck floral dress, you headed across the street to where Grover was, selling newspapers once again in the early morning. However, when he wasn’t on the sidewalk, he was in your apartment, holding you as you cried for Bucky. Grover had helped you open Bucky’s files and put on his dog tags; he was there while Steve was sorting out your arrangements with Peggy. He had your snot stains on his nicest shirts that you always apologized for, and he had carefully placed the dog tags over your head; Grover was certainly one of your rocks when Steve needed to grieve on his own, which you understood.

Noticing your approaching figure, Grover stood up and shooed people away from his stand, meeting you halfway. He noticed your solemn look, “you goin’ with Mr. America?”

With a nod, you wrapped your arms around the older man’s neck, his chubby arms meeting your waist in a split second, “I have to, Grove. I needta’ keep my promise to James, and watch after Stevie.”

Grover tightened his grip around you and squeezed, much like a father would, “sure that super soldier can’t do it himself? Looks more than capable.”

You shook your head against his neck, “I promised – I promised James; you know that.”

Grover pulled away, resting his hands on your shoulders, “I know you did, kid…but that don’t mean it still pains me to see ya go…Come back here, the both of you, in one piece – ya hear me?”

With a nod, you squeezed Grover’s hand on your shoulder and went back to where Steve and Peggy were standing by an army truck, your bags already in the trunk. As the two looked back at you, you gave a curt nod, “I’m ready.”

Steve helped you into the backseat as Peggy headed up front, starting the truck up once you were all piled in. As you rode off, away from Brooklyn, you looked back to your home, and gave a sad wave to Grover who was already back to selling newspapers – but you saw him wiping his cheeks. Tears flooded your eyes as you imagined you and Bucky finding a nice white picket house in Brooklyn once he came back like he promised. Turning back around, you wiped your eyes, looking forward to the road, a hand wrapped around Bucky’s dog tags.

Only a little while into the car ride, you leaned forward, asking the two soldiers a question, “where exactly are we headed?”

Steve turned around towards you, “first, Camp Lehigh where we’ll get you some ID so they know you’re with Peggy and me. Then, London, where Colonel Phillips got a lead on Schmidt’s new hideout.”

You looked down at your nails, picking at the skin surrounding them, “can I be of help in any way? And, uh… who is Schmidt?”

Peggy glanced back at you for a quick moment, “how are your fighting skills, y/n?”

Steve gave her a glare, “no, absolutely not.”

The driver looked back once more, expecting an answer. You glanced at Steve, “I’ve got experience with guns and hand-on-hand combat.”

Steve shook his head, “that’s nice but I’m not letting you do what I think Peggy is insinuating.”

Peggy elbowed him before she answered you, “there’s a chance your skills may come in handy, Miss y/n, but it won’t be an easy feat.”

You nodded to her, “I’d like to be of any service I can, Agent Carter.”

Steve grumbled, “am I just invisible to you two?” That finally got a giggle out of you and Steve glanced back, squeezing your hand, before turning towards the front.

You waited a few moments before you tapped Steve’s shoulder, getting his attention, “hmm?”

With a head tilt, you asked again, “who is this Schmidt guy? Never got an answer earlier.”

Steve seemed a bit tense when you asked before answering you, “he’s a confidant to Hitler and closely affiliated with Hydra. Once we take down Schmidt, we get closer to taking down Hitler.”

Your eyes had widened during his short summary, “so you really been killin’ Nazis, Stevie?”

He huffed, “been trying too – mostly taking over Hydra bases. Buck was more the killing Nazi type.”

With a slight smile, you squeezed Steve’s hand, “sounds like our James.”

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for some mindless chatter over Peggy’s radio.

By the time you three got to Camp Lehigh, getting your identification was nothing out of the ordinary; however, being looked at with either such sorrow or surprise was a shock. You had assumed people knew about Bucky, but you never thought Bucky had told everyone about the girl from home, nor that they knew what she looked like. Tears flooded your eyes very quickly at the image of Bucky boasting about his Brooklyn girl and everything about her, and apparently, his words got all the way back to New Jersey.

Even when you got to the London Bunker, more dejected looks were given your way. Some sick part of you wished he hadn’t made you such a big deal, but if he were still alive, you’d be flustered. With subtle hands, you quietly put Bucky’s dog talks within your new army greens officer uniform. While you definitely were not an officer, Peggy had no problem lending you one of hers, telling you that if someone had a problem with it, take it up with her.

You clearly remembered her conversation as she dragged you into her tent, quickly shoveling through a trunk of hers, “are you alright wearing one of these? I have a few different sizes – whatever fits you.”

You accepted a green skirt of hers with a nod, along with a tan-colored blouse and a green jacket. Thankfully, it had no medals on it so you didn’t exactly feel as if you were impersonating a soldier.

You looked towards Peggy as she made her leave, “thank you, Agent Carter…You truly did not have to do this but – but I appreciate it.”

Peggy gave a soft smile as she opened the tent, “anything for Barnes’ girl.”

Right when she left, you sobbed for a good 20 minutes. You remember mumbling to yourself, “I hope I still am your best girl, Jamie.”

Over the next few days, you had quickly grown accustomed to the troops' fast pace and overall serious atmosphere, along with their Colonel. You would never admit it to the man, but Colonel Phillips scared you when you two had first met; you wondered if he had ever laughed in his entire life. And you definitely wouldn’t tell him this either, but you knew he was a big softie underneath that whole ‘I’m Colonel Phillips and you have to be intimidated by me’ attitude. Once you had arrived in London, you made it your mission to make the Colonel laugh, whether it be at your expense or someone else’s – but it took your mind off James; well, as much as it could.

One man who admired your mission and seemed to play along with it was Mr. Howard Stark; when the two of you weren’t messing around, history was being made, and changing the world for the better was your first priority.

Besides his cocky attitude, Howard had truly become one of your favorite people – besides Captain America himself, of course. When Steve had introduced you to the team focused on finding Schmidt and the rest of Hydra, Howard had taken to you liking a father hen, showing you his new tech and his favorite, the new vibranium shield he made for Cap. He was so ecstatic about showing a new face his greatest creation and how indestructible it was; as he told you, everyone else did not seem as impressed and he needed someone with a brain like yours to comprehend what he made.

While nobody else knew, he had also shown you the last remaining vial of the super-soldier serum Dr. Erskine had made and thus, what Howard had been trying to recreate. He had almost been successful but told you he did not want to use Erskine’s last vial on someone, in case it ever came to that. Instead, he wanted to try his own, one that would not affect one’s looks physically but included all the enhancements. Now that got you intrigued; you loved Steve, truly, but if you ever got the chance to take Stark’s serum and wanted a husband in the future, you did not want to look so…bulky.

The two of you worked closely together, using Stark brainpower and L/N design skills and expert eye to create the new symbol for Captain America.

With a pretty decent paint job on your part, both you and Howard took a step back from the upheld shield, looking over the new red, white and blue design, fit with a silver star. Tears filled your eyes but you refused to let them fall as Howard rested a hand on your back – your Stevie would be carrying that shield proudly very shortly.

Howard pulled you into a quick side hug, “Sergeant Barnes would be proud of you, kid. Look at you, designing Captain America’s new shield!”

With a soft laugh, you wiped your eyes, “I hope he would be.”

Before Howard stepped away to give you some space, you grabbed onto his arm, eyes darting towards the suitcase underneath his desk, “can I ask you something, Howard?”

Howard crossed his arms, “what’s goin’ on inside that head of yours, kiddo?”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, “listen, I know you’re gonna say no, but I just… I need to get this out.”

Howard noticed your serious tone and pulled you against a corner of the huge bunker that had been your home for the past couple of days, surrounded by books that you had read in record time, “go on, kid.”

You fumbled over your words, nails scratching against your skin, “do you think – do you think I could take the serum? Your recreation, of course – I saw your successful attempts and I want to take it. I’ve thought it over, truly, and it’s what I want. Ever since James – ever since James died, I’ve felt so lost and useless; I want to do something, something that James would be proud of. And I know you’re gonna say no, but Howard, I really need to do this, so please-“

Howard interrupted you, hand held up calmly, “let’s talk to Colonel Phillips, okay?”

Your eyes grew wide, “real-really? No immediate reprimanding?”

He looked at you with soft eyes, “I know what you’re feeling, y/n, and it’s not a good feeling. While I wish there was another solution other than you taking the serum, I – I’m not opposed to it. Maybe we need a sidekick.”

You gave a slight smile as he grinned back, “thank you, Howie.” He pinched your arm in response to his nickname, narrowing his eyes playfully.

The moment you asked Colonel Phillips for a private meeting with you, him, Howard, and Peggy, he already seemed on edge. Woke up on the wrong side of the cot, sour coffee, you weren’t sure – but you were sure that he was not going to be happy with your idea.

As expected, the meeting with Colonel Phillips was not exactly great; he may have thrown a fit and yelled at you for even suggesting such a thing. Okay, ouch, that stung – you genuinely thought it was a good idea.

You had interrupted during such fit, “sir, may I remind you that Steve Rogers had no prior fighting experience yet he got the super-soldier serum? I have the skills – well, some skills - the will to fight, and the…”

You stopped.

“I have a purpose, just like Steve,” you began once more, “Hydra took away the most important person in my life and I’ll be damned to hell if I’m not gonna do anything to stop them. So please, sir, let me do this.”

Peggy Carter stood beside Colonel Phillips, her lips twitching up in a slight smile, “you remind me of him. Of Barnes.” The Colonel grumbled.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, “I guess he rubbed off on me.”

Peggy looked to Colonel Phillips as he was deep in thought, until he spoke, “you talk to Rogers about this?”

You shook your head, “no, sir.”

Colonel Phillips crossed his arms, “I suggest you bring it to his attention before we make a final decision, l/n. Then, if we decide yes, we’re going to need to change the plan just a tad bit.”

With a nod, you stood up and walked out of the meeting room, hoping to find Steve around the corner somewhere; on your way out, you already heard Colonel Phillips grumbling about how it would be nice to have another super-soldier.

One of the Howling Commandos spoke up during your search for Steve, “he’s over at Crocker’s Folly. Bar right across the street from here, kid.” You thanked him and walked out of the site, spotting a very beat-down bar just across the street, surprisingly still standing.

Heading over, you had honestly no idea how to bring up the idea of you taking the serum to Steve; it definitely was no normal conversation. You knew he would say no, but you wanted to take it and be of use during the war and avenge Bucky in any way you could. Once inside, you heard a radio in the distance of the bar, unsure of what song was playing. Following the sound, broken glass and among other things crunched under your footsteps, letting Steve know someone was there.

Sitting at a table with a bottle of liquor and a glass by himself, your best friend turned around and glanced at you, pulling up a chair. You gave a small smile, finding the seat right across from him, “are you okay?”

Steve shrugged, “that Dr. Erskine said the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing… which means uh.. –“

“You can’t get drunk.”

Steve shot you a look, “when you’d get so smart?”

You kicked his foot with a chuckle, “when I started hangin’ out with Howard.”

He gave a sad smile as tears flooded his eyes, “I am so sorry, y/n.”

You choked back a sob, eyes filling with tears, “it wasn’t your fault, Stevie. I know that you did everything you could.”

Steve’s eyes were brimmed red, “how are you – how are you staying so strong?”

Clearing your throat of the sob making its way up, you licked your lips, “I feel like I’ve cried too many tears, Steve. I want to cry more, my god I do, but I know he wouldn’t want that.”

Steve nodded, “’m sorry to bring him up, I just…” he mumbled, “I’m going to kill Schmidt and all of Hydra if it’s the last thing ‘m gonna do, y/n.” His hand had curled into a fist and you felt the anger radiating off of him.

You grasped his hand, softly uncurling it, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something, pertaining Schmidt.”

Steve let out a grumble, taking one last sip of his drink, “everything okay?”

You nodded, “I – I’m okay. But Howard…he has a remaining vial of the serum from Dr. Erskine and has even recreated it himself. I talked to Peggy and Colonel Phillips and I’m going to take it, the recreation.”

Steve’s eyes shot up to yours, “Y/N, I can’t – I can’t let you do that. It’s too dangerous and I promised –“

“Steve,” you stopped him, “I know you promised Bucky that you would look out for me. I promised him that about you, too. But I want to do this. It’s my decision and I’m hoping you’ll let me do this for myself and Buck.”

The man across from you looked down at his glass for a long while before he looked you in the eyes with a grin, “’gonna pretend I can get drunk and forget why I even agreed.”

A small smile formed on your lips as you reached over, squeezing his hand, “thank you, Stevie. Now c’mon, we got a serum to inject and plans to tweak.”

When the two of you reached the bunker once again, you nodded to Howard and he let out a breath. He was not exactly looking forward to this, injecting you with the serum, but it’s what you wanted. Word quickly got to Colonel Phillips who seemed a bit relieved himself, glad there were no tantrums thrown – much like his.

Down the many halls of the bunker, Howard, Peggy, and a few nurses prepared an operation room, a bed centered in the middle of the room as lights displayed it. Once you were injected, you would need a few moments to recollect yourself – both of them knew this.

You, Colonel Phillips, and Steve stood outside the operation room, looking in as Howard laid out the serum and sedation if needed. The Colonel spoke up first, looking down at you, “you certain about this? There’s no guarantee you’ll live.”

You nodded, “I’m aware, Colonel. But I’ve thought it through and it’s what I want.”

Steve looked to you as the Colonel looked on, “you yell for me if you need me, okay? I’m right outside.” You gave him a small smile before you headed inside per Howard’s direction.

Steve stopped you once more, “and y/n?”

You turned around to look at him as he continued, “you’re a good person. Maybe not a perfect soldier yet, but a good person.”

You smiled at Steve, “looks like I’ll need you as my teacher once I become your sidekick, Stevie.” You both let out a chuckle.

Nurses stood behind the two tables surrounding the cot you were instructed to lay on, taking off your shirt and tossing it into Peggy’s arms, letting out a whistle, immediately calming your nerves. You flashed her a smile which she returned.

Bright lights shining onto your body – now only clad in a bra and some army green cargo pants – your gaze shifted to Howard. He looked albeit nervous but once he caught your eye, all nerves disappeared, “how ya feelin’ kid?”

You chuckled, “like I’m about to be turned into a super-soldier.”

Howard’s shoulders shook with a slight laugh, “that’s nuts – it’s almost as if I’m administering said serum. I’m gonna inject you with some penicillin, okay?”

You nodded your head, looking towards the window where you saw Steve looking way too tense. With a smile, you gave him a thumbs up in which he chuckled at, shaking his head. Beside him stood the Colonel who looked nervous himself, but with a blow-kiss, you saw him roll his eyes and turn back into your stern Colonel Phillips.

Howard spoke up, grabbing your attention, “now, y/n, your transformation will be a bit different from Steve’s, but the outcome should be the same – just no outer physical changes, as I mentioned. No need for nerves. You ready?”

You nodded, and with a deep breath, you felt the sharp needle penetrate your skin, injecting you with the serum. As the serum coursed through your veins, your skin felt as if it were on fire, your breaths growing quicker and sweat already forming on your skin. Howard noticed your breaths, “deep breaths, kid, don’t rush the process. You got this. How ya feelin’?”

You grunted, “burning – hot but cold. Freezer burn.”

Howard grew pale, somehow making sense of your words, “okay, y/n, you gotta fight this. Don’t let the serum override your body – you gotta let it combine with your cells. C’mon, kid!” Peggy’s grip tightened on your shirt as she looked on, whispering words of encouragement.

Outside, Steve and Colonel Phillips began pacing, the Colonel glaring through the window, telling himself that he could telepathically communicate with you and force you to live through this. Steve bit his thumb, growing more and more anxious by the second.

Your body had now started to sweat profusely, the shine adding itself to your figure as you breathed heavier, a gasp and a sharp scream leaving your lips. Steve immediately ran in, holding your hand, “y/n, come on, please! Fight this – don’t give up, please. I – I need you, we all do.”

In a split second, your eyes opened, meeting Steve’s for a split second before you let out another yell, eyes squeezing shut once more, “Steve! It hurts – it hurts!”

Your whole body felt as if it were on fire yet hypothermic, your chest feeling so heavy that it was difficult to breathe. Every cell in your body felt as if it were being torn apart and being put back together again; you talked to yourself in your head, “how the hell did Steve do this?”

Steve ran a hand over your now-damp hair, “I know, I know, but you got this, y/n. Once you beat this, we’ll go and kill those sonsabitches at Hydra, you hear me? You gotta beat this.”

Over time, which honestly felt like hours, your body slowly started to welcome the serum and new changes within your body, your breathing returning to normal and sweat disappearing onto the cot below you, body returning to normal temperature. With only a slightly bloody nose, you felt…good. Resting against the cot, you let out a sigh, eyes fluttering.

Howard hooked an IV up to your arm, returning the liquids you had sweat out, pushing your shoulder lightly, “’gotta talk to me, kid.”

You grumbled, “’m tired…but feel like I could run a marathon.”

Steve’s hand squeezed yours as he let out a laugh, looking up to the ceiling, “that’s your girl, Barnes. You did great, y/n – you did great.”

Eyes still shut, you hummed, “mmm…do I have abs of steel now?”

Steve chuckled, “would it make you feel better if I said yes?”

You nodded your head, a dopey smile on your face. Steve continued, “I wouldn’t want to fight you in the ring, bug.”

Slowly but surely, you opened your eyes, adjusting to the way your body felt and sensed everything around you. With a grunt, you rubbed your eyes, glancing at your hands – hmm, they looked the same?

Howard noticed your confusion, “Remember what I said, kid? No outer physical changes, but you got all the upgrades Rogers has. Better looking, obviously,” you let out a soft laugh, “just not as bulky.”

With a hum, you sat up, fighting off Steve and Howard’s mother hen tendencies, “’mentioned that earlier…bulky. ‘m fine, by the way – stop worryin’.”

Slowly getting off the cot, you walked around the room, stretching your legs and your whole body. Everything felt different but good; it’s like your senses and every cell within your body were heightened. “It felt cold,” you mentioned to Howard, “the serum.”

He nodded, “as opposed to the vita-rays, we had to keep it in cold storage. Easier that way.”

You hummed, and while turning around in the small room, your eyes met Steve’s once more, “well Captain, what now?”

Honeybee Taglist:

@clownerlyluv @ginger-swag-rapunzel

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iliumheightnights · 4 years ago

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How Tony met Daniel | Tony Stark & Daniel Stark

Tony Stark had been called lots of things. Billionaire, Genius, playboy, idiot...but father was never one of them. He hoped he would never be called that, not for a long time at least. But the day was still young and Tony had slept with lots of people.

Tony was woken up from his deep slumber by the silky voice of his favorite AI. Jarvis. “Sir it’s almost 1:30 in the afternoon. You may want to get up if you do not wish to mess up your sleep schedule even more.”

Tony didn’t even move an inch.

“Sir. Miss Potts is currently on her way up. You have about five minutes to get up and get presentable before she arrives.”

“Nnuugghh.” With that Tony pushed himself off of his bed and quickly put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt that had been left on his floor.

“We didn’t have anything scheduled today right? I didn’t think so.”

“No sir, but it appears something has come up and she’s on her way to get you.”

Tony sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Is it something I’m going to need a drink for?”

“Perhaps.”

Tony let out a groan and left his room. He ended up walking out to the living room the same time Pepper had arrived.

“Tony! Good…” She hurried over, her iPad in her hand and a frantic look on her face. Leaning in close she whispered in his ear. “We have an issue.”

At that moment another woman came in. She was dressed in a fancy light grey pant suit. She held a clipboard and iPad in her hands. Her face was gentle, yet she held an authoritative presence. Of course that didn’t stop Tony as he moved passed Pepper and put on his signature smile.

“Why hello there. How can I help a gorgeous woman like yourself today?”

The woman smiled at him as she pulled out an ID. “Jennifer Henson. Social Services.”

And just like that Tony’s flirty smile fell from his face. Social Services. Why the hell was Social Services here talking to him? “Ah. What can I do for you Mrs.Henson?” He had an idea for why she was there and he didn’t like it.

“Well Mr.Stark, a very special person brings me here. Daniel you can come in here now.”

Tony watched as a man, another social worker, brought a young boy with dark hair and blue eyes came around the corner. He couldn’t have been older than 5 or 6. Tony didn’t need any proof to know, that was his son.

“I...uh…” Tony wasn’t sure what to say. He was staring at this small child, HIS small child and not sure what to do.

“Mr.Stark. I think you should read this. His mother left it for you.” Mrs.Henson handed him an envelope that was nicely sealed and had lovely writing on the front with his name on it.

Tony looked at the boy who was just staring at him. He could tell the boy was confused, sad, not sure how to feel. But Tony couldn’t help but notice how there also seemed to be a sort of intelligence behind his eyes, not a regular intelligence like any other kids...but something more.

He turned back to Jennifer and leaned in to whisper. “His mom? Is she?”

“We don’t know. He just showed up one day with the note and a locked chest only he can open.”

Tony nodded before squatting down in front of Daniel. He put on a smile that he wasn’t sure was fooling anyone, not even himself. “Hey bud. I’m Tony. I’m your dad. What’s your name?” Tony of course already knew his name, he heard it but...he wanted to try and connect with his son.

For a while the boy didn’t say anything just looking shyly at him. “D-Daniel.”

“Daniel. That’s a great name, one of the best I’ve ever heard. Goes perfect with Tony. So bud, I have to read this letter real fast and Miss Potts here…” He gestures to Pepper who quickly steps up, waving with a smile. “Is going to stay here with you and these fine people while I take a quick gander. Is that okay?”

Daniel seemed to think about it, looking around at the other adults but eventually nodded. Tony took notice of how the boy seemed to have gotten closer to him.

“Alright good. I’ll just be right over there and if you need me just call out okay?”

“O-ok.”

Tony smiled and stood up. He moved over to the kitchen and away from the prying eyes. He opened the letter and began reading.

Tony,

If you’re reading this then Daniel is safe with you...and I’m gone. I’m sorry I never told you about him and I’m sorry for springing him on you now.

He continued to read the letter and when he finished he reread it. Then again, and again. Daniel really was his son and not only that...but his mother claimed he had special abilities. Tony thought perhaps she had been high writing this based on some of the things she was saying. Eventually he put his head in his hands.

“Are you really my daddy?” The voice was quiet but Tony heard him. Turning he saw Daniel peaking into the kitchen. He seemed both curious yet shy about intruding on something. Tony couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes. Yes I’m actually you’re daddy.” Honestly Tony was still trying to process that himself.

Daniel still seemed rather timid but walked closer and climbed onto a stool next to Tony. The entire time Tony couldn’t help but watch him. This kid, this tiny human being, was his son.

He had never thought he’d be a dad, he never wanted to be one after Howard. Then he started to panic a bit...what if he ended up being exactly like Howard? No. No he vowed that he would never be like Howard. Tony hated admitting it but at first he thought about sending Daniel to a nice family who could actually take care of him but...not now. As he looked into those piercing blue eyes, Tony could feel his heart being pulled from him. He wasn’t going to let anything or anyone hurt his son.

“What happens now?” Daniel had laid his head on the counter.

“Now? Now you’re going to live with me and I’m going to take care of you.”

Tony came back with Daniel in his arms to find Pepper helping fill out some papers. He saw how Pepper was smirking at him and giving him a knowing look. He’d have to remember to talk to her about that...and give her a raise.

“Alright Mr.Stark.” Jennifer stood up and moved her iPad over to Tony. “I just need you to sign right here and everything will be taken care of. Daniel will officially be released into your custody.”

Tony felt Daniel’s grip around him tighten as he snuggled in closer. He gave another look at Pepper who was grinning. Tony rolled his eyes at her before smirking at Jennifer and using the stylus to sign the document.

With the stroke of the stylus, Tony’s life had been forever changed.

#tony stark #tony stark & oc #daniel stark #oc #ocs #oc daniel stark

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brolinskeep · 6 years ago

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so i saw endgame.

spoilers under the cut, but first of big thx to my MCU posting mutuals who saw the movie before me and never slipped up tagging their spoilers ❤️

the movie, the plot, the look backs, the team ups, THE ARMIES-OF-GONDOR,-ROHAN-AND-ELVES-LIKE ASSAMBLY OF EVERYONE KICK SCROTUM FACE’S ASS: yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYESYESYESYESYES YESYESYESYESYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

the ending: no.

america’s butt: 🍑 thank you for your service (and to whoever among the writers finally had the courage to acknowledge it)

“i lost our boy”: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #superfamily

new asgard: 😊😊😊

Tony “I am Iron Man” Stark: . . .

its been a long time since i cried like this from a movie.

i mean i understand from a like story telling pov this seems to be the only conclusive way to end this aera of the MCU cos like how could shit go sideways in future on earth and tony stark not being there to save the day as long as he lives one way or another, how make it believable that spiderman could face odds onyl he alone can overcome when the audience was more or less aware that ultimately somewhere out there tony stark was chilling in the back but could still send a technical update to help save the day.

but it hurts. so much. and it so unfair. for him who has been there for the last 10 years to save the day, building the avengers alongside steve, and now that he finally had the chance of a happily ever after with his little family, to have to make the ultimate sacrifice so everyone can have the final victory and peace except him.

as i said, i kinda understand why TPTB did this, but as a fan i was hoping they’d do it as they did at the end of the first avengers movie. we would have been ok with not seeing tony again on screen but knowing he’s living his best life in peace.

Steve Captain America Rogers: you can pass on the shield, but there’s gonna be no one like you, oh captain my captain. im happy for him and Peggy, i truly am, but it’s with the same bittersweetness as i was for frodo at the end of LotR:

How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.

Thor: we’re here for dadbod god of thunder, (and shallow, thirsty me who wants 8pack pirate-angel baby back for GotG 3 can sit in the corner and shut up for a bit) who stands up for his buddies against online bullies and is scared, too scared to face his ex and just wants his mum back. and is just so fkicng proud of his buddy steve lifting-mjölnir-cos-he’s-as-worthy-as-the-godking-of-asgard rogers while starring death in the face saying ‘not today’ now please get your brother back somehow i dont care how!

Natasha: LISTEN MARVEL YOU BETTER FCKIG FIX THIS OR SO HELP ME HELA!!!

Clint: they surely made you pay for sitting out infinity war jfc ;A;

Bruce: we stan our big, green nerd!

Rocket: the one true snarky guardian of the galaxy, this show would go the shit without you bb

Carol Denvers: first of all YESSSSSS and please hang out with peter from time to time

Scott: didnt think id ever get emotional about ant-man, but jfc here we are ps: #epicpunchisepic

Valkyrie: long live the queen!!

Loki: same as for natasha 😡, how am i supposed to enjoy his upcoming solo series when there’s gonna be this small voice in the back of my head constaly whispering ‘whatever. he’s gonna die anyway and you’ll never get your thorki happy ending’

Pepper: i got nothing. i just want to hug her and let her cry.

little Morgan: you’re loved 3000 times and more

Rhodey: it’s been an honour.

Peter Parker: *builds pillowfort, makes hot choc gets your fav ice cream, wraps you in a 1000 blankets and protects you from all pain forever*

Sam: on your left! thats one big shield you’ll carry there buddy

Bucky: not enough time with steve

Wanda: i was almost certain they’d let you do the same to scrotum face as you did to ultron and i was 100% here for that

Hope: float like a butterfly sting like a wasp!

Peter Quill: thank god Gamora is back, now please let her reunite with her crew in GotG 3 to turn his head back into place.

Nebula: hope you find peace, get some closure and therapy, dear

Gamora: sisters before misters 👭 and glad to have you back

Drax: i couldnt see if you got him good, but hope you feel like you avenged your wife and kids

Groot: do you ever leave your bunny again please

Mantis: go kick names and takes asses, love, and never change ❤️

Black Panther: da king is back in town!

Okoye: yaaas queen!!

(Nakia: i understand Lupita Nyong'o has much bigger things to do but Nakia has been missed)

Shuri: make ‘em pay, bb!!

M'Baku: idk if you got snapped in A3 or not but epic battles arent the same without our big king from snowy mountain

Doctor Strange: your plan sucks doc!!!

Wong: your boss doesnt know what he has in you

Korg & Meik: time for another revolution guys :D

Nick Fury: where’s Goose???

Happy: you gotta step up your gmae looking after his kids now, buddy

Howard the Duck: didnt see you there but good to know you’re still around even though i still dunno what you are and why

Stand Lee: thank you.

thank you robert downey jr thank you jeremy renner thank you scarlet johansson thank you chris hemsworth thank you mark ruffalo thank you chris evans thank you tony thank you clint thank you nat thank you thor thank you bruce thank you steve thank you for being our heros.

— 𝕞𝕖𝕘𝕒𝕟 𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕘𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕩𝟚 (@leufeysonwinter) April 26, 2019

#thx for the good luck wishes from earlier!

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cherrymoonvol6 · 6 years ago

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some avengers endgame Thoughts cause i saw the movie yesterday and can't stop thinking about it

of course..... spoilers ahead

nebula and tony playing!!!! i just love how nebula's personality comes through without it being ooc

also... nebula carefully sitting tony up. she Cares so much :(

steve immediately going to tony :( like im a stucky kind of gal but holy shit i love them

which was completely erased in the next scene where tony drags steve up and down and after that passes out, which is a confrontation Mood

i wonder how they made tony look so skinny and sick. if it was cgi then i applaud them cause it looked so good

the way they killed thanos so fucking quickly here... i don't know how to feel lmao. like cutting the gauntlet arm and then slicing his neck... that's what we were all screaming at them during infinity war. it's good to see them learn from their mistakes, i guess ?

(can't remember the order in which things happen from now so forgive me if i make a mistake)

i told my sister "that's one of the russos!!!!!" so it took me ten seconds to realize that the russo was the gay character everyone was talking about (i thought it would be fury for no other reason than it being shocking and fury having very little to do with the plot, but)

and steve being supportive of that :( man out of time said gay rights!

carol's new hair!! holy shit!!!!!

rocket insinuating carol has been experimenting with more hairstyles... i would like to see it

don't think i missed that carol x rhodey nod. i support it.

don't wanna say it now... for now ill just state: i love what they're doing with natasha in the movie. she truly feels like a friend to steve. like that small gesture of her sliding the plate towards steve is just so domestic and beautiful! it really makes her feel so human and complex at the end. i was so worried about her being wasted but i loved her throughout the film

it was a fucking rat who got scott out. i have to laugh.

also is that the guy from that old "gayyyyy" meme????

cassie is all grown up!!!!!! i can't even imagine how hard it had been for her

also what happened to her mom? and the stepdad??? are they fine????? i hope so

i was hoping we would get more tony as a dad in this movie and it delivered!! tony is so fucking good with kids. the bond between him and morgan was so well portrayed

also the place they live in is so cozy and that's what he deserves

when steve stepped down the car in that black outfit with the leather jacket on i gasped... he's fucking gorgeous

i kept wanting him and tony to kiss lmao tf is wrong with me

OKAY my hawkeye rights. i missed him so much

the stylish subtitles on the middle of the screen felt like too much. this isn't a tumblr gifset honey, just write them down!

thinking about the whole clintasha conversation really foreshadows the whole thing. natasha cares so deeply about clint and really puts his needs before hers. it's so beautiful to see

honestly... my clintasha rights!

i think the hulk/bruce scene was kinda endearing but then the ant man banter dragged on for toooo long

the dab i YELLED. these poor kids have to stand this man on 2023 pulling out 2016 trends to appear Hip and Cool

fat thor...... i hate how it was handled. hate it so fucking much.

new asgard! that's so cute. i hope that's on norway

miek and korg are alive!!!!

the thought of thor insulting a possibly 14 year old on fortnight is too much for me. it sounds like bad fanon talk. i still laughed (bc noobmaster69??? that's fucking hilarious)

tonys reaction to i love you 3000 is so beautiful. like the way he looks taken aback and so happy. i love irondad

steve in a white shirt and jeans!!!! i gasped again. he's delivering, the fucking model

i know they were like, barely being decent to each other again, but i still wanted my stony hug:(

when they're discussing their infinity stones memories and natasha and tony are laying down together on a table???? adorable. amazing.

also why tf didn't nebula said the soul stone required a sacrifice??? i thought that's what she got from gamora dying in volmir

as soon as natasha and clint arrived to volmir i began chanting "nonononononononono"

fuckkdjdksndk fucking nebula. cue to more nononono chanting

rhodey knocking out quill with a single hit is the funniest scene in the movie

clintasha calling on bullshit on the sacrifice thing was also quite funny

the forehead touch :((( im so weak! so sad!

clintasha literally fighting each other to be each other's sacrifice!!!! kill me now!!!!

jeez now i can finally say it: scarjo shined so fucking much on this movie!!!! her delivery was amazing, i really felt a connection between her and the avengers, it really showed her growth during the five year time jump. she fucking killed it. she did her best and she's the best black widow we could've ever gotten.

clint mourning her :((((( probably the third time i cried during the movie

thor's panic attack being used for cheap laughs was the most uncomfortable moment for me... or any scene where people only saw thor as Fat and Lazy (basically, two thirds of the movie)

the freya + thor reunion was so sweet though!

okay. okay. hear me out. tony was on a very serious mission to regain an infinity stone. and the first thing he does is check out steve's ass. and aknowledge how glorious it is. i couldn't believe what i was watching!!!!!! like that actually fucking happened. consider me a fully formed stony bitch.

and scott joining in to say it was "america's ass" ???? poetic cinema

so it's canon that everyone checks out steve's ass and appreciates it as a national treasure. that's all i never thought id needed.

steve saying "hail hydra" i YELLED. it was a nice nod to the whole "cap is a nazi" mess

and steve fighting himself... hot

using his bucky trauma to shock himself is :/// but also :((((

i loved that for one moment i knew everyone on the theatre was staring at steve's ass

and steve being appreciative of his own butt!!!! ok that's all i have to say about steve's ass

i loved the reminder that thor was still kinda goofy back in avengers 1, for everyone who says taika completely changed his character. and the little tony + thor moment was adorable

"howard..... potts" i can understand tony being a mess but how did howard not suspect of anything??? elevator lady took one look of steve's face and all of her alarms started ringing

peggy carter... ive missed my wife so much

did peggy marry souza. i hope she did. steve tf are you doing staring at a married woman (jk)

clint kicking the stones away as soon as bruce is done with the snap is the biggest mood

also... the hell was scott looking at that made him think it had worked? just... more birds outside? i was really curious

the irony of the only avenger without superpowers being left with the stones

"i know you" *hands out stones* how can you not love clint, he's so pure

nebula killing his 2014 self is a power move. that would be me if i met my 2014 self

thor with a braided beard!!!!! beautiful

thanos is like, a real threat and i love that

okay. i kinda saw it coming. i saw thor leave mjolnir behind and i thought "oh????". and then the shock of thanos being able to wield stormbreaker. and then fucking mjolnir moving!!!!! i was the only person in the theatre who yelled

but seriously!!!! steve wielding AND fighting with mjolnir!!!!! couldn't stop thinking about it all day!!!!!!!!! STEVE IS WORTHY!!!!!!!

parallels to thor going for the chest. it never works babies!

and just.... this was steve's moment. steve i-can-do-this-all-day rogers really fighting with every ounce of his body and soul against the most powerful being on earth. justice for him getting knocked after touching thanos for one second in iw!

and steve getting up again! all dirty and wounded!! trembling with exhaustuation and resolution!!! with his broken shield on his arm!!!! just him facing the biggest army of the universe!!!!! so powerful

sorry to destroy this epic moment, but like, okay. people had been reintegrated to life like, twenty minutes before. and i understand that they were all confused and out of place. but sam really needed ALL that time to just... try to communicate with steve????? ok

the "avengers..." *brings mjolnir with one hand while bracing his shield with the other* "assemble" moment was... oh my God. chills all over my body.

that One Moment where steve has stormbreaker on his hand... so fucking hot

the tony and peter reunion holy shit. the hug was everything i needed! like please just hug tony stark for ages

and tony and pepper fighting together!!! that's a power couple right there

i felt it when quill looked at gamora and just... stopped. im so sad his moment was played for laughs when it was obviously such an important moment for his character

thanos was so fucking scared of wanda that he put his own troops at risk to stop her for a little while. strongest avenger right there!

and carol coming back!!!! i was like

i felt so relieved at that point. i was like "yeah thanos is fucking over what's next"

no need to talk about all the women coming together to defend peter :')

thanos getting the gauntlet again... the nonono chanting came back

fucking CAROL trying to stop him. looking at him with such a determined face, like "you can't stop me from stopping you". it was so powerful he had to snatch one stone to stop her

and strange giving him the one finger to tony.... i knew what was coming holy shit. i knew it. they knew it.

tony really proved himself there. it was his best scene on the entire mcu, don't argue with me!!!!!! the way he stood there and took all the power of the stones, unmasked, unaffected, powerful and almighty

"i am... iron man" cue to ugly sobbing

tony knew there was no other way. pepper did, too... she knew exactly what she had to tell him. she was right. tony spent all of these years moved by selfishness first, then fear, then guilt. an endless battle since thanos was on his head. but the war was over. what mattered was that he saved everyone, and he sacrificed himself for everyone. a complete 180° from last movie's ending.... wow

gotta said... peter there felt a little bit out of place for me. i think it would've been more powerful if he didn't say anything, though peter is a teenager, i can get it

his arc with steve felt unfinished, too. i would've liked to see steve's reaction as well, since tony had told him he wanted everyone back and also for his family so survive. but whatever

im not against tony killing thanos instead of gamora and nebula but i would've liked if we saw them react to his death, at least:/ like a little parallel between nebula's reaction at the beginning and the end of endgame

the One stucky interaction here was pulled from cap1 and iw. i feel betrayed

bucky Knew what steve was going to do. i wonder if steve told him before or bucky just sensed it

you can't convince me steve would go back and carelessly dance with peggy knowing his friend is being used like a weapon by hydra and bound to kill tonys parents. nah nah. it all felt wrong

my steggy rights!!!

love that the russos foreshadowed cap!bucky on tws just to give the shield to sam at the end

anyways what the fuck bucky was all steve had but he lived the happiest life without it and left him alone on the 21st century? okay fuck y'all

#long post #avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #a4 spoilers #mine #marvel #this is.... so long and idk how to add a read more on mobile #but enjoy my thoughts i guess

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the-stoned-ranger · 6 years ago

Note

FAN FIC ASK!!!! I'm asking B, H, M, Q, and S. Tag me back! :)

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience? Yup, some of my fics are inspired by personal experience. “Ready to Start” was inspired by a friend of mine who was a 50-year-old disaster human, and I wanted to give Julian the happy ending my friend never got a chance to have. “Between the Shadow and the Soul” is a bit of commentary on living with chronic mental illness. “In My Dreams You’re Dying” is a big explosion of id regarding a close friend who is a heroin addict and the many chances I’ve given him, but he seems intent on blowing them all. “Down on the Street” is inspired by the places and people I met as a bike messenger. And “What’s Up, Pussycat?” is an ode to my cat.

H: How would you describe your style? Oooh, this is a tough one. Probably ”poetic” as I was a poet for many years before writing prose, and I still have a fondness for metaphor and knockout lines. But I can also be very silly with my writing... The muse has two settings, crack and angst, nothing in between!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share? I was searching through my drafts and found some fragments for a fic where Howard joins the Nihilist Church (aka, the Congregational Union of Nihilist Theology, aka CUNT) in an attempt to stop caring so much about everything and become more likable. I would love to finish it once “Close Encounters of the Boosh Kind” is done, as this silly alien MPREG fic has taken over my life at the moment.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations? I’d never done a collab before writing “Shaman Camp” with @bob-skeleton and I had such a good time that we immediately began working on “Close Encounters of the Boosh Kind”. I adore collaborating with Bobby; honestly, we’ve asked each other “Is this how Julian and Noel felt when they started writing together?” Sometimes it really feels like we’re long-lost Siamese twins joined at the brain.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? UST, UST, UST. It’s probably my #1 kink.

@littlebooshmaid, I tag you to answer F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it., P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?), and V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

#just fic writer things #i hope i'm doing this whole tagging back thing correctly

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scribeofmorpheus · 6 years ago

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As Fate Would Have It Part 10 (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Catch Up Here!

A/N: Okay guys, so it's here. The big One-Oh! (which coincidentally is being published on the 10th of March -which is also Bucky’s birthday! Fate is a tricky thing) For this chapter, I wanted to do something special. But also, I'm still doing the before Endgame race with myself because I want to get to a good climax with this story before April! Which is not very far away. *Gulp!* Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy it. Ask to be added to Tags!

Remember: Reader’s alias is Helen Rushman but everyone calls you Elle! You are also an agent with the Red Room (Black Widow’s) who is acting as a double agent within Hydra.

Words: 3782

Warnings: This chapter is hella long. Like when I was editing it I was also surprised by the word count. LOL! Some angst, a lot of fast-paced scene jumping and a bit of steam towards the end... Which means!!! The next Chapter is going to be the smutty chapter! Also, sorry I haven’t proofed I want to write the next chapter quickly!!!

Tuesday Morning.

You had made sure to dress up in your more flattering clothes today. Your make-up a little more glamour than usual. You made sure to buy a magazine about with a headline to do with the upcoming Expo. When you got to work you noticed the security had been doubled and employees were now required to show their ID at the main desk. It wasn't surprising, what was surprising was that there had been no news about the break-in yesterday.

"Morning, Elle," Agnes greeted you as you boarded the elevator.

"Morning Agnes."

"What's with all the security, all of a sudden?"

The elevator had filled up with several other women and men including Kathy. She gave you a knowing look before pretending to not eavesdrop.

"Beats me," you lied. In the corner of your eye, you noticed Kathy's lip curl upwards.

When the elevator stopped at your floor, you, Kathy and a few others got off. You made your way to your desk, unpacking your magazine and displaying it in a very obvious place before heading over to the kitchen to make two cups of coffee. Once you were done, you took both cups, placing one on the far edge of your desk while drinking from the other as you read the magazine -making it seem rather obvious by having it cover half your face.

"Sir, I really think you ought to consider reporting what happened to the authorities," a muscled man in a black suit and tie urged Howard. "The security breach--"

"Security. Which is exactly what I'm paying you for. Making sure there isn't a security breach. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an office to stare blankly out of, Old Boy." Howard slapped the muscley man on the shoulder like they were best pals. Tim, the aforementioned man, simply held in an exasperated breath and walked out of the office space.

Howard walked down towards his office, glancing over at you, he noticed the magazine you were reading, he visibly stalled for a moment. "Ugh… Helen, can I have some coffee sent to my office?" He asked in a low lilt.

Before he could walk away, you stood from your seat and grabbed the coffee cup you had placed by the edge earlier replied in a sonorous voice, "Already done, Mr Stark." You gave him a charming smile as you handed him the cup of hot coffee.

"Well, I do say, if you keep anticipating my needs before me I'll be forced to give you a raise," he smirked as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Then I suppose I ought to do just that," you answered back harmlessly. Stark seemed slightly caught off guard by your oddly flirty mood today. "Anticipate your needs, that is." You picked up the magazine and sat back down at your desk. Flipping the pages absentmindedly as Stark walked to his office, every now and then stealing a glance at you through the window.

A few hours later, a call came through. It was one of Howard's countless number of dates. She was all giddy and you could practically sense her blushing through the telephone cords. You rolled your eyes, swooning was never a good look on anyone. But then again, maybe you were bitter for another reason. One reason in particular.

"So, tell Howie I'd love to go with him to the Gala," she chuckled like a love-struck puppy.

You held back a sigh, "I'll pass the message along." You ended the call and gathered up all the files you had finished sorting through. You knocked on Stark's door.

"Come in."

"Here are the files you had me sort through," you placed them on his desk. "Sir, if you don't mind my asking. What's with all the increased security today?"

"Oh," he smiled, "Don't let that trouble your pretty head. Probably a disgruntled employee trying to steal Stark secrets. Wouldn't be the first time. Won't be the last. Innovation is a lucrative business, that's why you should never keep your secrets lying about for anyone to find."

You pretended not to have a clue as to what he was saying, pursing your lips out like you were struggling with keeping a single train of thought.

"Ah, it's no worry," Starks waved his hand around dismissively. "Any messages?"

Ah, he was expecting a callback, "No, none sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes, that will be all."

You turned around to leave, making sure not to rush out too quick in case...

"Helen," Stark stood from his desk.

"Sir?"

"I gathered from your reading material that you're interested in the Expo."

"Indeed I am. The 'world of tomorrow' is too thrilling an idea to not be." You flipped your hair to the side.

¨"Ah, see there's a Gala coming up this Saturday. And the most eligible bachelor, like myself, can't be seen without a dame on his arm, such as yourself. Would you like to accompany me?"

You walked over to him, slow and suggestive, "On one condition."

"Name it."

"It will remain a strictly casual, friendly outing."

Stark laughed low, "It's a deal then. Pick you up Saturday."

Later that Day

"Report," Yelena demanded. Her cigarette stained tips rolling an unlit cigarette. This time Yelena had a tape recorder in place of a notepad and pen. The air was cold and damp, a draft kept creeping in through the ajar container door. In the distance, you heard faint sounds of trains moving past.

"Hydra made contact. Turns out they have another agent in Stark's employ. I think she's there to keep an eye on me too."

"Who is she?"

"She goes by the name Katherine. I don't have a last name."

"What's the mission?"

"Stark got a letter from the SSR. Apparently, he's meeting with a big shot within that organisation this Saturday. She wants me to record their session using a listening device."

Yelena cocked a brow your way, lighting her cigarette finally as she sunk into her chair, "Did you bring it with you?"

"To a highly clandestine meeting with my handler who's not a Hydra agent?" You asked rhetorically. "No. I did not."

"Mind the attitude, tovarich," Yelena warned. After sucking in two long puffs, she continued, "If this meeting is important enough for a Hydra operative to break their cover keeping an eye on you, then this could finally lead us to Erskine's research. Do as they say and report back to us after."

As you stood up to leave, Yelena whispered to you with a hint of concern in her voice, "Tovarich, if Hydra had an agent keeping an eye on you, it means they don't trust you. Be careful."

You were stunned, momentarily, but regained your composure when you remembered who you were talking to, "It wouldn't be the first time." You left the train car with no other words spoken. The faint smell of smoke still lingering on your coat.

Wednesday

"Come on, Buck. It'll be fun. Dancing, music, a chance to get out of your apartment!" Steve urged his best friend who was laying down on his couch in his slacks and a vest. Steve busied himself with trying to clean up the place a bit. Putting dishes in the sink and tossing any clothes laying about in the hamper. "When was the last time you went out?"

"The last time I let you talk me into doing something…" he retorted, not needing to finish his sentence.

"Yeah, but you never actually talked to Elle. It could have been a misunderstanding."

"He kissed her Steve!"

"On the lips?"

"N- No… but that's not the point."

"Then what is?"

Bucky sat up from the couch, "She broke up with me! And then when I see her after three weeks she's letting her boss give her a non-platonic kiss on the cheek!"

"Oh, Buck. You're jumping to conclusions. And even if that were true, wouldn't you want to know, beyond a doubt, how she felt. You know, before you leave for--"

Bucky chucked a pillow at Steve, "Why do you have to be such a good guy all the time. Why can't you just brood around my apartment like I'm doing?" he asked rhetorically.

"Because if both of us start brooding, we'll never leave this apartment." Steve picked up the pillow Bucky had thrown and used all his strength to playfully hit Bucky back.

"Ough!" Bucky exaggerated.

"Come on. Dancing. Music. A night out. You need it." Steve urged his friend, bringing over a cup of burnt coffee.

"When?" Bucky asked as he sipped at the bitter liquid.

"Friday," Steve said with a smile.

Bucky simply nodded, "Wipe that smug smile off your face. Guess we're going out."

When Steve got to his apartment he made sure the first thing he did was call Sally and let her know everything was in place. Steve prayed them playing matchmaker wouldn't backfire on them.

Friday

You had spent most of your week in a rebuttal battle of flirting with Howard. To say it had been taken more of your energy than you'd have like would be an understatement. In a way, you were glad you had agreed to go out with Sally tonight.

You looked in the mirror to see if your outfit complemented your lipstick -you chose rouge. You wore a red dress with a black lace pattern over the satin red and black pumps. You chose to wear lacey fingerless gloves and a small necklace.

"Hey, darlin' you almost ready?" Sally asked from your doorway, her hands fitting in a pair of large fake pearls. "Red?"

"What's wrong with red?" You shot back defensively.

Sally smirked coyly as though she was a mastermind checking all the boxes in her to-do list, "Nothin' it's just… The blue dress is perfect for dancin'. It twirls around you like magic!" She said excitedly.

You bit your lip to keep from smiling, "Alright I'll try on the blue one."

A few minutes later you called Sally back into the room and she gasped like it was the first time she'd seen the dress, "It's absolutely gorgeous. Give us a spin!"

You twirled round and as though the dress was a part of you, it flowed around you in cascades. The material breezing across your knees. You giggled like a teen.

"I suppose this will do."

"Come on then Hun. Let's go before we miss the bus!" Sally linked your arms together and rushed you out of the apartment.

***

Bucky kept running his hands through his fingers, whether it was nerves or just him not being out for a while, he couldn't tell, but he promised Steve he'd stop his brooding and have a fun night out. The Stork Club was filled with people, young and old. Somewhere by the bar cheering with friends while others were at the far end dancing to the live band. Bucky had almost missed the lively atmosphere of places like this. But every time he thought of going out and dancing with some broad, she'd always have the same face and the same laugh. She would always be Elle and it drove him crazy.

He couldn't close his eyes without seeing her face. Even now, in this club, hidden amongst the crowd, he saw her. She looked beautiful as always, the blue dress complementing her figure in a cool aura. She looked like a breath of fresh air amidst all the ladies wearing brighter reds and yellows and greens. He saw her rouge coloured lips and could almost taste their kiss atop the Ferris-Wheel in Coney Island. He could almost remember the exact thoughts he had as the sun set. That was the moment. Maybe if he had told her how he truly felt… Maybe if he had fought harder and not been the gentleman afraid of keeping her from her future. Maybe…

Then she disappeared as though she was never there as the crowd of dancing people grew in number.

Bucky closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, he was convinced he was starting to hallucinate her now. "I'm going to go to the bar. I need a drink." He told Steve.

"Don't get lost," his friend teased.

"A whiskey, neat," he asked the bartender.

"Buy a girl a drink?" A woman's voice spoke beside him. Bucky turned to look at her. She was beautiful he couldn't deny, and the way she looked at him… he was almost tempted to buy her that drink but he knew it would simply be an excuse to forget about Elle and that he'd regret it the next day.

"Sorry, Doll. Some other time," he gave her a weak smile, her lips turned downwards, she was disappointed but he didn't care. He downed his drink and went back to find Steve.

***

You walked away from the dancing crowd, feeling the heat in your cheeks. You needed to catch your breath. Sally followed after you, giggling with warmth. You'd be lying if you said this wasn't exactly what you needed. Then you saw someone familiar on the far end of the room.

"Steve!" You shouted in surprise as you saw your little friend alone in a corner. "What are you doing here?" You marched over with Sally still on your heel.

"Uh… Elle, hey! Um, this is a surprise..." Steve fidgeted about.

Without warning, you wrapped your arms around him with a big smile on your face. You didn't realise how much you'd missed him in the last month.

"Wait, if you're here, does that mean--" before you could finish your question you heard that oh-so-familiar voice speak behind you.

"Elle?"

Your breath got caught in your throat and your muscles felt petrified. You were frozen there.

"Bucky..." you whispered too low for anyone to hear.

"Oh my, now this is quite the coincidence. All four of us at the same club. Must be fate!" Sally chimed in from behind you. She quickly grabbed Steve's arms -who looked a little apologetic- and rushed him to the bar. "Steve, how about we get a drink. Catch up. I'm absolutely parched!"

Sally dragged him away as she mouthed an insincere "Sorry," before winking and disappearing.

After a few breaths, you finally had the courage to turn around and meet Bucky's eyes. When you looked into his beautiful blues again for the first time in a month it felt as though you'd been knocked off your feet. You'd almost forgotten how easy it was for him to make your heart race and your cheeks flush. How easy it was for him to turn your steeled conviction into a brittle wall made of plaster.

It was as though time stopped. Everything melted away and all you could focus on was the man standing in front of you.

Bucky snapped his fingers, putting on cool airs in an effort to break the silence, "I should have known Steve was up to something. Usually, I'm the one nagging him to go out." He gave an awkward smile as he rubbed the nape of his neck.

You laughed awkwardly not wanting to fall back into the silence, "Tell me about it. I should be able to smell Sal's devious plans a mile away by now. I guess I've just been too preoccupied with work."

Bucky's head snapped up at the mention of work. His jaw clenched for the briefest moment. It was his tell. "How is it. Your new job?"

"Honestly, I miss the Dinner. I miss Hal constantly nagging Annie and Sally mothering everyone…" You wanted to say I miss you but you stopped yourself. "Working for an obnoxious genius can be quite draining."

"You seemed pretty chummy to me," Bucky blurted out. He cursed at himself, seemingly regretting his words, but it was too late, you heard him.

What do you mean?" You looked at him, puzzled by his comment. Then it hit you. The pink flowers, Sally's odd behaviour. The setup. "The flowers, they were from you."

"You got them?" Bucky's tone relaying his shock. "But I never gave them to you..."

"I saw from my desk. I assumed one of the secretaries threw them out. I guess they reminded me of the peach tree flowers at the picnic."

Bucky's eyes lit up then, "I thought the same thing." He smiled, genuinely and it made your heart flutter.

"Why did you throw them out?" You placed a hand on his forearm. Bucky looked down at the contact longingly.

"I saw you. And Stark. You seemed… close."

You laughed, something about the idea of you and Stark being together tickled your funny-bone. Maybe it was the irony of the fact getting close to Stark was part of your mission. Or, perhaps, it was because Bucky thought Howard could replace him. If Bucky knew how you truly felt around him, he'd understand how absurd that thought was.

"Howard's known for being a harmless flirt. He cares more for his work than anything. I don't think he'd know what to do I he ever got into a real relationship."

Bucky took a step closer to you, "So then… you and him?"

You smiled, taking the other step forward, "Strictly professional. I promise."

Bucky smirked, the look of an idea crossing his mind glistening through his eyes, "Well since we're here." He held out his hand. "The band is playing our song, Doll."

There it was, that charm and charisma you'd been craving for so long. The special way he called you 'Doll'. His smile and his outstretched hand. A part of you screamed to stay away, to spare him from any dangers or heartbreak that had convinced you to end things a month ago. But you were tired of being that cautious, good little soldier. For once, you saw what it was you wanted. What you craved with every nerve and cell. And for once, you weren't going to deny it. After all, it was just a dance. One, harmless, short dance.

Your lips turned upwards, your eyes glued to his. "I'd love to."

Bucky took your hand and twirled you towards him. Over his shoulder, you saw Sally bounding and bouncing about, no doubt proud of her intervening. Steve also seemed quite pleased with himself.

When the band played something slow, you rested your ear on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. With each beat, you felt joy begin to build within your own heart. All night you'd had this large smile that refused to subside -and so did Bucky.

The two of you stumbled out of the crowd of dancing bodies and headed towards the back exit in need of cool air. The band's lively music, still audible from the amber coloured alleyway. You lifted your head and took a deep breath, condensation forming when you breathed out.

"God, I missed this," You admitted to Bucky as you blew at a strand of hair that had come undone from its pin. On instinct, Bucky tucked it behind your ear, but as soon as he realised what he did -touch you as though you were still familiar with each other- he cleared his throat and bit his lower lip. "Sorry, a force of habit."

Before you could stop yourself you blurted out, "I've missed you, Buck."

Bucky placed one hand around your cheek, the other around the small of your back. He held your gaze for a moment, as though looking for any indication you didn't like where this was going, you didn't give any such signs. He leaned in and you closed in the distance. And after what felt like an age stretching out forever, his lips met yours and the two of you were lip-locked in a passionate embrace. Lost in the heat of the moment, you leaned into his touch. Your hands folded across his back, a moan escaping your lips as he guided your body towards a wall, pinning you there while one hand moved achingly slowly from your waist to your thigh. His grip was greedy and a little rough causing you to quiver, he could feel your body shake against his chest making him deepen your kiss even more. You let out a second moan when he suddenly stopped.

"Why did you stop?" You asked with deeply flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

Bucky's thumb graced your cheek as if trying to make sure you were real, you tilted your head against his hand, letting him know you were with him in this moment. "Do you have any idea what effect you have on me?" There was a tinge of pain hidden in those words, it made you rush to cup his cheeks and reassure him.

He clasped both your hands, "I just, I need to say this."

You had a feeling that whatever it was he was about to say, it had the power to change things forever. You swallowed hard, almost afraid of what he was about to say, but you owed him this much.

"Okay," you whispered softly.

"Before you, I had never really felt anything close to what I feel when I'm around you. I felt… I feel invincible, like I can do anything! I never imagined it could feel like this, being with someone. But then, I had to let you go, because I was convinced I couldn't be the one to hold you back from your new job, from your new future. But… I hate that I didn't fight for you. I hate that I decided to take the high road. You drive me crazy, Elle…"

You flinched when he called you Elle. More than anything you wanted him to call you by your real name. You wanted to be completely transparent with him.

"I want you back," he kissed your knuckles before letting them go. He brought his hand back to your face, his eyes boring deep into your soul you felt like you couldn't breathe as long as they were on you. "I need you back."

"James Buchanan Barnes… I never stopped being yours. You had me at 'Hello'." You kissed him again this time it was less greed and passion. It was tender and soft. It was a silent I love you.

The vibrations of Bucky's laugh travelled through the kiss making your knees buckle.

"Want to get out of here?" He asked with an extended hand.

You placed your hand in his, "Lead the way."

As you walked away from the club, rain clouds began to form and in no time, the smell of rain filled the air with promise.

Part 11 is Here!

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As Always: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, If you like it don’t be afraid to ask to be added to the tag list and feedback is like a writer’s favourite gift, so if you have anything to say, don’t be shy!! ;)

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takadasaiko · 7 years ago

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Breathe Again Beneath the Flames: Chapter Twenty-Three

FFN II AO3

Summary: Agnes receives her own mini op, Scottie approaches Katarina, and the Keens meet with the Task Force to discuss options.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The morning had not gone as planned. They were supposed to be up at the break of dawn, ready to get Agnes up with them and out, but the home video marathon had gone longer than either Tom or Liz had anticipated. Once they had finally gotten to bed, Agnes had come into their room and landed right in the middle of them as they were dozing off. She hadn't just curled up with them and fallen asleep though. Instead she had turned and flailed and wallowed all over them so that no one slept until the earliest hours of the morning. The alarm had gone off twice by the time Tom had finally roused the girls out of bed and breakfast had to be in the go.

"Has your coffee kicked in before mine or did I miss something?" Liz groused as she pulled Agnes out of her car seat in the back of their borrowed vehicle.

"What do you mean?" Tom asked and instantly took the squirming, cranky child when she reached for him. Agnes melted against his shoulder, her little arms right around his neck.

"You've been in a mood the last two days, but you actually look happy to be up at this hour. What am I missing?"

"Just enjoying this," he said, motioning the best he could between them. "We're close, Liz. Not there, but soon."

He didn't miss the hesitant look she shot him as she turned to grab Agnes' bag and shut the car door. "I hope you're right."

He offered her a lopsided smile. "Grab my wallet with the keycard for me? I've got my hands full."

Agnes shifted against him and he kissed the side of her head. Liz went for his wallet as he had asked and, even expecting it, he barely felt her pull it from his jeans pocket. Half asleep she still made a talented pickpocket. "You know, we would have caused a lot of trouble if we'd known each other as kids," he teased, and that finally pulled a smile from his exhausted wife.

She tipped up on her toes and kissed his scruffy cheek. "Trouble would have been an understatement," she promised and pulled the ID card that Scottie had given him to enter the building out, pressing it against the card reader and they received a satisfying beep before the door clicked open for them.

Halcyon's headquarters in New York City housed a little bit of everything. They stretched from the top floor executive offices down to the operations facilities below ground level. Between that lay entire floors dedicated to research, technology, and Halcyon Aegis' own private medical wing. Howard had been transferred despite a grumbling physician at Bellevue, and seeing him was the Keens' goal before leaving to meet with their teams.

The elevator ride up made Agnes squirm, but she didn't fully wake up until the doors opened to release them out into the small lobby. She straightened a little more in her daddy's arms, turning to take in the sights.

The nurse at the front desk let them in without missing a beat and led them back through a set of locked doors to a secured room. Halcyon operatives stood guard at the door, but they gave Tom and his family a sharp nod as they allowed them through.

Howard was already awake and sitting up in the bed. The cast on his left wrist reached halfway up to his arm and his opposite leg was elevated. He looked good though. Certainly better than he had been when they had first seen him after the rescue. He was going over something on a tablet with Dumont DeSoto at his bedside. Dumont looked up and his entire expression lit. "Is that who I think it is?"

Tom echoed the expression. "Hey, baby girl. You get a two for one today. Who's that?"

"Mont!" Agnes cheered, suddenly wide awake and squirming.

Howard chuckled from the bed as the little girl launched herself at the tech expert. "Thanks a lot, princess."

"She only likes me for the toys," Dumont said lightly.

"Do I get a present?" Agnes asked, crossing her arms over her chest and looking straight up at him expectedly.

"I'm workin' on something extra special for you," he promised.

Tom leaned over to Liz. "Dumont designed Agnes' tablet and a couple of other toys while she was with me at the bunker. Pretty sure she's claimed him as a lifelong friend."

He watched his wife's expression shift to the a strange mix of amusement and sadness that it always did when he spoke about Agnes coming to stay with him when she had left for Alaska.

"Have you had any luck with the film?"

"Heard back from the labs this morning when I got here. Some of it was damaged, so they're still trying to clear some of the images up."

"Do we know what the photos are, though?" Liz asked.

Dumont shrugged. "Looked like family photos, from what I saw. Hard to tell. I gotta get over to the site. Get everything swept and ready for our visitors."

Liz looked towards the hallway. "Are we sure it's not safer to meet here?"

"We keep a collection of safe sites around the city that are better for what you need," Howard explained. "Out of the way of prying eyes and ears."

"Got a new car for you to take. Everything'll be set up and ready when you get there," Dumont promised, handing over an envelope. "See you two in a bit."

Tom took what was offered and turned back to Howard. Agnes was already crawling up on the bed with him, asking if his leg and arm hurt and if they were still going to the park. "Soon," her grandfather promised before turning his gaze up towards Tom and Liz. "How was the house?"

"Kinda unnerving," Tom laughed and shrugged. "If you and Scottie were hoping to jar any memories by having us stay there it hasn't worked yet."

"She did point us in the direction of some photos last night," Liz said, a little mischief making its way into her eyes.

Tom rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. The VHS's too."

His wife's expression turned a little more devious and Howard huffed a laugh. "We bought the video recorder not long before you were born and got our money's worth," he explained. There certainly hadn't been any shortage of photos in the library, and while Tom and Liz had plenty of photos and videos of Agnes, it was strange to see his own childhood like that. Up until he had met Scottie and seen the photo of the three of them at the beach, Tom hadn't seen a photo of himself that young. If any of his foster parents had taken photos, they hadn't traveled with him, and the Phelps' sure hadn't been the type to care enough. Scottie, though, had apparently enjoyed documenting the first nearly four years of his life if her collection had been anything to go by.

"Daddy, what'sa VS?" Agnes asked from the bed.

He choked on a laugh. "VHS. It's what people used to record on before you could just save it on your phone."

"Like a million years ago?"

"Now you're just being mean," he teased her and she giggled as he hauled her up in the air and kissed one of her round cheeks.

"I take it your mother's already left?" Howard prompted.

"Yeah. She was out before we got up this morning." A small frown tugged at him. "I don't like that she's going without backup."

"Backup would give her away. Trust her. She knows what she's doing."

"Who are you and what have you done with Howard?"

His father chuckled at that, inching down against the pillows a little. He looked tired, but that was to be expected after everything. After a moment he cracked an eye open. "Candy's just getting some coffee. Agnes and I'll be just fine if you need to head out."

That sparked the little girl off and she turned towards her parents, tears building in her blue eyes and a high pitched whine starting in her throat as she reached for her daddy. Tom felt guilt tug at him as he scooped her up and she reached to pull her mom closer too.

"Don't go," Agnes singled and Tom kissed her dark hair.

"Hey?" He waited until she leaned back to look him in the eye. "Here's the thing, kiddo," Tom whispered a little conspiratorially and his daughter perked up at the secretive tone. "Your grandpa's gonna need to stay in bed for a few days, but he's stubborn. He needs someone to make sure he's safe, so it's not so much that he's taking care of you as you're taking care of him. Can you do that for me?"

She thought about that for a second, her little nose scrunching up and she looked back at Howard for a moment, not entirely convinced.

"I need you to be really brave to do this," Tom told her.

"I'm brave," she said firmly.

"I know you are, baby girl. You're so brave." He kissed her forehead. "We love you so much."

"And we'll be back soon," Liz promised and Agnes nodded.

"Okay."

She let him set her down again on the bed and they said their goodbyes, promising that they wouldn't be gone long this time. It was hurting Liz as much as it was him, and he knew it as her hand dropped into his and squeezed hard as they walked down the hall. "You're amazing with her," she said softly.

"She's smart. She may not understand everything that's going on, but she knows it's dangerous. She's scared." He nudged her a little, trying to lighten the heavy conversation just a little. "I think she may like us."

That pulled a smile from Liz. "Are we… do you think we're doing the right thing with her? Do you think-?"

Tom stopped in the empty hall and turned to his wife, locking eyes with her and holding her gaze. "I think we're doing the best we can in an impossible situation. We're trying to keep our family safe."

Liz nodded and he tightened his hold on her hand. "Love you." She tipped up on her toes and the kiss eased his raw nerves. He could feel the desperation and the fear, but he could also feel the hope and trust. They had each other's backs, and they would do whatever they had to to keep their family safe.

Scottie had made contact with Katarina and set up the meet for that morning. She had heard the brief pause of surprise when she had, their last conversation leaving the other woman with no reason to think Scottie would reach out so soon. It had peaked her curiosity, just as Scottie had known it would. That didn't mean that she was fool enough to think Katarina would let her curiosity get the better of her.

The dark haired woman checked her watch, frowning. She had expected Kat to be late, but this was ridiculous. She was an hour past the meet time, which was quickly moving from establishing dominance to wasting Scottie's time.

She was halfway to standing from her place on the park bench when Katarina appeared from behind and took a seat next to her. "They say patience is a virtue."

"They have more time to waste than I do," Scottie half growled.

Katarina hummed, but there would be no explanation- much less an apology - any time soon. "I heard you went in personally after Howard. How did it feel to be in the field again after so long?"

Scottie's dark eyes shifted to look at Katarina without turning her head. A small smirk played on her lips. "Invigorating."

"You're welcome."

"For what, exactly?

The redhead shrugged. "Giving you the chance to experience that again. I take it your gratitude isn't the reason for your visit."

Scottie's lips thinned. "Did you tell Reddington that Christopher is alive?" The question hung in the air for a long moment before Scottie turned to look fully at Kat. "I refuse to stop them from pursuing the Oleander lead and suddenly Reddington knows. The timing is suspicious if nothing else."

"We need Raymond," Katarina answered after a long moment. "He would have found out eventually."

"And now he's leveraging my son's health."

The former KGB operative rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. He's applying pressure where it's needed to keep this running as smoothly as it can." She glanced over and she lost the levity in her voice. "We're moving towards the endgame, Scottie. We've been fighting this war for years, even if it's been quietly. The children are impulsive and only know a fraction of what the Cabal is capable of and we needRaymond as much as we need you and your husband. He won't hurt the boy. You know he won't."

There it was. The opening that Scottie had hoped would present itself. "You can guarantee that?"

"I can, and I will. I just need to know that you're on my side as much as I'm on yours.

Scottie remained silent for a long moment, letting Katarina believe she was weighing her options. "I am," she said softly, "and that's one reason that I wanted to meet today."

Katarina straightened a little. "What do you mean?"

"Elizabeth knows you're alive."

"Did you tell her?"

"No." She waited, hoping that the partial lie would have enough truth in it that it would pass by her old friend. Liz had already known Katarina was alive, Scottie had only confirmed it.

"Her partner," Katarina murmured distractedly before meeting my her gaze again. "How did she react?"

"I thought you didn't care what your daughter thought of you," Scottie said slyly.

Kat shot her a glare. "I need to know how to approach the situation. Ignoring it won't help anyone." She pulled in a deep breath and her gaze was sharp. "I'll need you to set a meet."

The warehouse was locked down tight, though no one on the outside would ever know. It reminded Liz of the times that they had used one of Reddington's locations that he had set up. Personal phones were left at the door, the windows were darkened so that passerbyers couldn't see in, and there was a sense of secrecy that blanketed the space from the moment they walked in. She was a little surprised that no one took their weapons at the door, but they were supposed to be able to trust each other there. Despite everything that had happened between the Task Force and Halcyon's Grey Matters division, they needed to be able to trust each other.

They weren't the first to arrive. Her team was already there and Aram was picking Dumont's brain on some piece of tech, the other man grinning like crazy at the chance to talk to someone who could follow how he put it together. Cooper was standing to the side with Samar and Ressler, the latter peeling off when he saw the Keens enter.

Tom gave Ressler a quick nod of greeting before giving them the moment that her partner seemed to be looking for. "Everything okay?" Liz prompted.

"Your mother paid me a visit," Ressler said roughly.

Well that hadn't been what she expected to hear. "Why?"

"She knew I was looking into her," he said in hushed tones.

"You never actually said why you were."

"Tom didn't tell you?"

"We've been a little busy." She glanced over to where her husband was speaking with the Task Force and Dumont. "It'll be a few minutes before the rest of Tom's team gets here. Why don't you fill me in?"

She watched his expression shift to something like guilt, his gaze dropping. "It's….I assumed he told you."

"Why don't you tell me now?" she pressed again, leaning back against a table to ease her posture. Whatever this was was making him more nervous than she had seen him in years. Maybe since his struggle against drug addiction. Her jaw tightened a little at the thought and she reached out, startling him a little as she touched his hand. "Ress, whatever this is, you know we have your back, right? I have your back."

He swallowed hard and she listened as he spoke in low, halted tones about something he had been struggling with even before Garvey's attack and her time away from her team. This had been going on for well over a year, starting with Laurel Hitchin's death. He had called a fixer and he had covered it up and he had been in the man's pocket since then. Looking back Liz could fill in the gaps in what had happened and things made more sense.

"Rostova killed Prescott," Ressler said softly.

"But why did she go to you?"

"To let me know exactly what she knew about me. She wanted… information."

It felt her temper boil. "About me."

"And what you and Tom have planned." His clear, pained gaze flickered to meet hers. "I told her to go to hell."

Liz tried for a reassuring smile. "We'll figure this out, Ressler. We won't let her ruin your career."

He shook his head. "I don't care. I'm done, Liz. I'm here to help you one last time, but I have my resignation drafted. It's going to Cooper as soon as this is done. I can't live like this anymore."

"This is not your fault. We can fix this."

"No, Liz. It is my fault, and the longer that I wait, the more of myself I'm losing. I've been lying to the team and I'm-"

"Ress, stop. Stop." She waited until he met her gaze. "You remember what you told me when I wanted to turn myself in for the harbour master?"

He winced. "Yeah."

"You told me to remember all the good we do, and you were right. Our team puts the bad ones away. We make sure that this works is just a little safer. We're working to take down a dirty fed with ties to the Cabal and the Nash Syndicate, Ressler."

"I'm not bailing on this, Liz. I know what it means, but I can't live with myself knowing that I'vebecome the dirty cop."

"Hey." She reached out and he looked at her. "You are nota dirty cop. You made a tough call and it went bad. It happens. You can't set that right from prison." The doors to the warehouse opened and drew both of their attention as Matias Solomon strode in with a woman that Liz had to assume was Nez Rowan. She had just missed her over the last couple of days, but now she had a chance to meet her.

"Everyone has their limit on what they can give to this," Ressler murmured. "C'mon. I'm not going to leave you a man down for this."

Liz nodded. There would be time to convince him. There had to be.

"You must be Liz."

The woman in questioned turned, catching the wink Solomon shot her way as he sauntered by and it took everything she had in her not to take a swing then and there. It was the woman he had entered with that had spoken. "And you must be Nez. I hear you kept my husband in line the last year or so."

Nez Rowan flashed a grin. "It ranked as one of the more difficult jobs I've ever had to do."

"I'm not that bad," Tom called from across the room.

"No, you're impossible when you're recovering," Liz answered with a smile and Nez snorted a laugh.

"I knew I was gonna like you."

Liz echoed the grin as they moved to join the others.

Detective Norman Singleton was inbound to arrive at the location, and by the time they received that call tensions were already running high. Tom had called Solomon off his playful harassment of anyone he thought that he could get away with and Liz looked ready to shoot him. Her husband didn't blame her. He was about ready to shoot him. Solomon was on the mend as far as he could tell, but being cooped up in recovery had made him more obnoxious than usual.

"A couple things before Detective Singleton gets here, just that we're clear," he said, drawing all eyes to him as he reposition himself at the front of the crowd. "This op is off-books. Halcyon's board doesn't know about it and no one in the FBI can know. Until further notice, the people in this room are the only ones read in."

"That includes the Hargraves and Reddington," Liz specified. "If you're uncomfortable with that, now's the time to bow out."

"What exactly happened with Reddington?" Samar prompted. "You still haven't told us what's changed to make him less trustworthy than usual."

"Elizabeth, if you're asking for trust, it's time to show a little," Cooper said and Tom saw the conflict in his wife's expression. It was dangerous. Reddington had already shown what lengths he was willing to go to to keep them from delving any deeper into his past and his precious secret, and they really couldn't be sure what he would do to the Task Force if they knew what the Keens knew. Nothing, possibly, or one by one they could find themselves meeting the same fate that Sam and Kate Kaplan did to hold that secret in place. Reddington that claimed to care a great deal about both of them, yet he had smothered Sam and shot Kaplan in the head with every intention to kill her. This secret of his, this truth was something he wanted to keep desperately, and a desperate Reddington was a dangerous one.

Liz drew in a deep breath, her gaze turning sharp and determined. "This whole thing is… complicated, but part of the problem is that Reddington has kept asking for us to trust him without honesty to back it up. I'm not going to do that to you." She clenched her jaw a little and Tom saw the struggle there. He reached over, his fingers brushing hers.

"It started about the time I left Halcyon. Late Kaplan reached out to me and said she needed me to pick something up for Liz. It was suitcase with human remains. Long story short, and with a lot of people after these bones, the DNA extracted confirmed that they belong to Raymond Reddington."

Neither of them said anything for a moment, letting the news sink in.

"That's impossible," Ressler chimed in. "I hunted the guy for years. That's him."

"Not according to the DNA report," Liz said softly.

"Who had these bones now?" Cooper asked.

"Ian Garvey," Tom answered immediately. "That's what he was after when he broke into Liz's and my place."

Liz pulled in a steadying breath in next to him. "He killed Nik Korpal for them, nearly killed Tom, and put me into a coma for ten months. He knows the truth, and Reddington is willing to do anything to keep that. He gained control of Richard Whitehall who-."

"Reddington has Whitehall?" Nez demanded, and Tom could almost feel the judgement coming his way that he hadn't filled her in yet, the fact that he hadn't seen her in days not withstanding.

"Yes, and he's using him and the fact that he's the one that has the formula for the meds that Tom needs as leverage against us and the Hargraves to stop the investigation," Liz explained.

A hush followed for just a moment before Ressler took a seat in one of the chairs, his gaze fixed on Tom. "What does that mean for you?"

Tom tried for a reassuring smile, but he knew it fell short. "I'm good for now. I've got some in reserve and Scottie and Howard are looking for an alternative."

"It just means we have to tread carefully. Until we have something to balance the scales, Reddington has the upper hand," Liz warned.

"Keeping him out of the loop is going to help us do what we have to," Tom added. "He wants to get to Garvey, but we think we can get to him first."

A knock at the door drew their attention and Nez unfolded herself from her chair to walk towards it the moment Dumont gave the all-clear. She opened the door to a startled looking Norman Singleton and Tom motioned him in.

"For those of you that don't know," Liz said, "this is Detective Singleton with Metro PD. He was in charge of Tom's case-"

"Still am, technically," the detective said as he joined in. "I've kept your secret like you asked. Not that anybody'd believe me if I told them."

"Appreciate that," Tom said with a lopsided grin. "And in turn we've made sure that your family is safe and out of Garvey's reach."

"Detective Singleton is also part of Ian Garvey's task force," Liz added and there was a quiet murmur amongst the crowd. "And that gives him a unique perspective and access to information."

"So you're the one," Solomon said lightly and Singleton looked uneasy.

Tom didn't blame him with the shark-like grin that Solomon wore.

"You have a lead to get to Garvey?" Cooper prompted.

Tom nodded towards Solomon who stood. His expression tighten into a subtle grimace as his hand went to what must have been the injury Garvey had left him with. "We do. I've been following a couple different trails, and while one ended… in a less than desirable manner -"

"Garvey shot him," Tom offered with a quirked eyebrow.

"You're just sorry it wasn't you."

He grinned. "There's something about shooting you that's cathartic."

"Boys," Nez snapped and Solomon offered a lazy shrug.

He motioned and Dumont pulled a set of photos up on his screens he had set up. "The other lead I was on has merit, though. Meet Lillian May Roth. Thirty-six years old, no known family, but she's something to Garvey. He drives an hour both ways on his lunch to go see her."

"Lilly," Singleton volunteered. "He doesn't really talk about her, but I've heard the name come up on phone calls."

Tom glanced over. "Mistress?"

"Not his wife, but my gut says no on the mistress. Not that Garvey's squeaky clean in that department."

Solomon snorted, his voice bringing them back to the reason he was there. "The plan's simple enough. We snag Roth-"

"By snag you mean abduct her?" Ressler demanded.

"Call it what you will," Solomon drawled.

Cooper straightened where he was seated. "Why not go after Garvey directly? Why involve a civilian?"

Solomon ducked his head at that one and Nez answered for him. "We found out that Garvey has ties to the Cabal because he recognized Solomon and had intel about an op that he ran while working for them."

"When he was trying to kill Liz when the Cabal framed her, perhaps?" Samar deadpanned.

"Before that," Solomon answered lightly.

Tom saw his wife rolled her eyes at the statement. "Garvey is on high alert because he knows Solomon has ties to Halcyon," he explained. "He's difficult to grab right now. It would be easier to lure him out. We're not going to hurt her, Ressler. All we need to do is have her make the call." Tom knew that team wouldn't blink at the tactic, but he also knew what they were asking the Task Force to do. It wasn't the first time they had bent the rules, not by a long shot, but he and Liz needed their help. They needed them to agree to this.

"Alright. We'll bring the girl in for questioning," Cooper agreed. "Where is she?"

"Currently in Maryland," Solomon offered.

"Then we'll bring her into the Post Office. Halcyon will have more leeway when we get Garvey, but until then, while there's an innocent civilian involved, the Task Force is running point on this. Is that clear?"

Cooper's question was directed at the Keens. Tom had hoped to bring her to New York and keep the op under Grey Matter's control to keep Reddington as far away as possible, but that wasn't going to pan out. They were going to have to give to get on this, and more than just the truth.

"Clear," Liz answered, startling her husband from his thoughts.

He turned to Cooper. "We need to tie up a couple of things and we'll meet you at the airport. We can take one of Halcyon's planes." He looked over at Nez and she nodded.

"I'll make sure the jet's fueled and ready."

"We'll call when we're in our way there." He motioned to Singleton. "You ready to go see your girls?"

The detective moved towards them. "This isn't over yet. Garvey-"

"You've done enough," Liz said firmly and the detective looked over to her. "We're not going to risk you getting caught."

Tom saw the hesitation. He was a good guy. An honest guy, and he may not have caught the dangerous side of Ian Garvey yet, but he felt betrayed by the man he was supposed to be able to trust. "We promised you protection. Let us make good on it."

There was a long moment where he wasn't sure Singleton was going to give, but then he saw it. The other man sighed, his shoulder falling just a little. "You'll let me know how it all goes?"

"We will," Liz swore.

He nodded then, and without another word he started for the door. They would get him to the relocation team from Halcyon and then the Keens would be on their way to getting Garvey.

Notes: Agnes may not know what all is going on, but she wants to help. I love that kid so freakin' much. She's too cute.

Next Time: Katarina pushes for a meet, the Keens and their teams find out that Lilly Roth is more than they thought, and a plan is put into motion to bring Garvey in.

#the blacklist #au fanfiction #Tom Keen #Elizabeth Keen #Scottie Hargrave #Nez Rowan #Donald Ressler #Matias Solomon #Samar Navabi #Aram Mojtabai #Harold Cooper #Norman Singleton

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Xbox Game Pass: New Games for July and August 2021 Revealed

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Xbox Game Pass is Microsoft’s subscription service for Xbox One owners. It’s designed to be like a “Netflix for games,” where you pay a simple monthly rate and get access to loads of games for download. It’s not to be confused with the Xbox Live Gold membership, which gives users a selection of free games each month.

There has been a huge surge in popularity and profile for Xbox Game Pass since its launch, mainly due to the diverse list of games and first-party exlusives on the service. In fact, Microsoft drops new releases from its own internal studios onto the service on day one! Sea of Thieves was the first example of this, followed by State of Decay 2 and Crackdown 3. Since then, the service has seen the day one launch of several other high-profile Xbox exclusives, including Gears 5, The Outer Worlds, and Halo: Reach on the Halo: The Master Chief Collection.

Membership to Xbox Game Pass will set you back $9.99 per month. You can now also get an Xbox Game Pass Ultimate subscription for $1 for the first month and $14.99 every month after that. The subscription includes an Xbox Live Gold membership as well as all of the games offered on Xbox Game Pass and Xbox Game Pass for PC. Plus, with cloud support, you can play a selection of Xbox Game Pass titles on your Android phone. And now you even get access to titles on EA Play, the third-party publisher’s own on-demand service.

New games are added each month to Xbox Game Pass. Here are the latest games coming to the service (with descriptions courtesy of the Xbox team):

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Xbox Game Pass: Games for June 2021

The Wild at Heart (Cloud) – June 1

Explore a beautiful, handcrafted world full of charming puzzles, and deep secrets in The Wild at Heart, a whimsical story centered around two children that escape to a fantastical land filled with magical creatures to befriend and an oddball order of guardians who’ve lost their way. Welcome to the Deep Woods.

For Honor (Cloud and Console) – June 3

War marches across the land of Heathmoor as heroes from rival factions clash in unending visceral battles. Use your finely honed skill to emerge victorious in a variety of thrilling single and brutal multiplayer modes. Grasp destiny in your hands and fight… for honor.

Backbone (PC) – June 8

Raccoon detective Howard Lotor is not a hero. He can barely make rent. And yet he has stumbled across something so massive that it will shake the very fabric of society. Stunning visuals, an evocative soundtrack, and a daring narrative bring a dystopian Vancouver, BC inhabited by animals to life in this highly anticipated, post-noir adventure. Get to it, detective.

Darkest Dungeon (Cloud, Console, and PC) – June 10

Darkest Dungeon is a challenging gothic roguelike turn-based RPG about the psychological stresses of adventuring. Recruit, train, and lead a team of flawed heroes through twisted forests, forgotten warrens, ruined crypts, and beyond. Not only do unimaginable foes await, but stress, famine, disease, and the ever-encroaching dark.

Yakuza: Like a Dragon (Cloud, Console, and PC) – June 13

Now you can play all eight games in the mainline Yakuza saga from Yakuza 0 to the latest installment, Yakuza: Like a Dragon! Become Ichiban Kasuga, a low-ranking yakuza grunt left on the brink of death by the man he trusted most. Take up your legendary bat and get ready to crack some underworld skulls in dynamic RPG combat set against the backdrop of modern-day Japan in Yakuza: Like a Dragon.

Arx Fatalis (PC) – June 13

This critically acclaimed first-person RPG from Arkane Studios takes the player on an amazing journey into the fantasy world of Arx. As your quest unfolds you will explore ancient temples, bustling cities and abandoned mines; unearth legendary artifacts and face terrifying foes.

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider (PC, Cloud, and Console) – June 13

From the award-winning developers at Arkane Studios comes Dishonored: Death of the Outsider, the third adventure in the critically acclaimed Dishonored series. Explore the dark underbelly of society to pull off the ultimate assassination.

Doom (Cloud and Console) – June 13

Relentless demons, impossibly destructive guns, and fast, fluid movement provide the foundation for intense, first-person combat in Doom, 2016’s Action Game of the Year and lead-up to the critically acclaimed Doom Eternal. Become the Doom Slayer and experience visceral intuitive push-forward combat as you obliterate Hell’s armies.

Fallout (PC) – June 13

The first entry in the beloved Fallout franchise. Explore the devastated ruins of a golden age civilization. Talk, sneak or fight your way past mutants, gangsters, and robotic adversaries. Make the right decisions or you could end up as another fallen hero in the wastelands…

Fallout 2 (PC) – June 13

It’s been 80 long years since your ancestors trod across the wastelands. As you search for the Garden of Eden Creation Kit to save your primitive village, your path is strewn with crippling radiation, megalomaniac mutants, and a relentless stream of lies, deceit and treachery.

Fallout 3 (PC, Cloud, and Console) – June 13

An expansive world, unique combat, shockingly realistic visuals, tons of player choice, and an incredible cast of dynamic characters. Every minute is a fight for survival against the terrors of the outside world.

Fallout: New Vegas (Newly added for PC, Cloud, and Console) – June 13

Welcome to New Vegas. It’s the kind of town where you dig your own grave prior to being shot in the head… and that’s before things really get ugly. It’s a town of dreamers and desperados being torn apart by warring factions vying for complete control of this desert oasis.

Fallout: Tactics (PC) – June 13

In these dark times, the Brotherhood – your Brotherhood – is all that stands between the rekindled flame of civilization and the wasteland. Your squad mates will be dearer to you than your kin and for those that survive there will be honor, respect, and the spoils of war.

Rage (Cloud and Console) – June 13

In the not-too-distant future an asteroid impact left Earth ravaged. You emerge into a vast wasteland to discover humanity working to rebuild itself in a treacherous world. Survive and explore an expansive environment teeming with bandit gangs, mutant hordes and an oppressive government’s soldiers with exotic guns and gadgets.

The Evil Within 2 (PC, Cloud, and Console) – June 13

Experience visceral survival horror as you descend into terrifying domains in search of your missing daughter. Use weapons, traps, and stealth to survive an onslaught of horrifying creatures determined to rip you apart. Return to the nightmare to win back your life and the ones you love.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (PC, Cloud, and Console) – June 13

You are BJ Blazkowicz, humanity’s last hope for liberty, on a mission to recruit the boldest resistance leaders left. Fight in iconic American locations, equip an arsenal of awesome guns, and unleash new abilities as you kill every Nazi in sight and spark the second American Revolution.

Dungeons & Dragons: Dark Alliance (PC, Cloud, and Console) – June 13

Gather your party, choose your adventurer, and get ready to set out on an epic brawl through Icewind Dale on June 22 with Xbox Game Pass. Forget character sheets and math for the night, Dark Alliance is a third-person action brawler that drops you and your friends into the unforgiving frozen hellscape of Icewind Dale to take on iconic Dungeons & Dragons monsters and collect epic loot. You can venture on your own, but with the addition of cross play on PC and Xbox featuring up to 4-player co-op, why would you?

Xbox Game Pass: Games for July 2021

Atomicrops (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – July 22

Atomicrops is an action-packed, roguelite, bullet-hell game where you must defend and cultivate the last farm in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Tend to mutated crops (be careful, some have teeth), marry townsfolk (ooh la la), collect cats (because who wouldn’t?!), and kill every mutant creature that tries to invade! This ain’t no ordinary farming simulator.

Raji: An Ancient Epic (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – July 22

Take on the role of Raji, a young girl blessed by the gods to defend the human realm from an onslaught of demonic beings that seek to destroy her world. Brother and sister, Raji and Golu, separated by the attacking demonic hordes, now find themselves in the middle of a great war. Raji has taken it upon herself to find her brother and put an end to this reckless conflict.

Last Stop (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – July 22

Developed by Variable State, creators of the award-winning Virginia, and available with Xbox Game Pass on day one, Last Stop is a single-player, third-person adventure set in present-day London, where you play as three separate characters whose worlds collide in the midst of a supernatural crisis.

Blinx: The Time Sweeper (Cloud and Console) – July 26

Coming to Xbox Game Pass to celebrate 20 Years of Xbox, Blinx: The Time Sweeper is a fast-paced action game featuring a cool, clever character in wild, warped worlds. The ability to control the flow of time provides a classic 4-dimensional gaming experience.

Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge (Cloud and Console) – July 26

Celebrating 20 Years of Xbox, Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge combines thrilling aerial combat with the swashbuckling style of a Hollywood action-adventure movie. Set in an alternate 1930s world of gunship diplomacy and sinister intrigue, pilot powerful aircraft against nefarious air pirates and behemoth war zeppelins.

Microsoft Flight Simulator (Xbox Series X|S) – July 27

From Xbox Game Studios, available with Xbox Game Pass on day one of its release for Xbox Series X|S! From light planes to wide-body jets, fly highly-detailed and accurate aircraft in the next generation of Microsoft Flight Simulator on Xbox Series X|S. Test your piloting skills against the challenges of real-time atmospheric simulation and live weather in a dynamic and living world. The sky is calling!

Lethal League Blaze (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – July 29

An intense, high speed ball game with unique characters, outta sight sounds, and none of that weak stuff. In Shine City, the anti-gravity ball game has long been illegal. The group who kept playing was dubbed the Lethal League. Even now, with their sport pushed underground, players and crews compete for challenge and respect.

Omno (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – July 29

Available with Xbox Game Pass on day one! A single-player journey of discovery through an ancient world of wonders, created by solo developer Jonas Manke. Full of puzzles, secrets, and obstacles to overcome, where the power of a lost civilization will carry you through forests, deserts, and tundra – even to the clouds.

Project Wingman (PC) ID@Xbox – July 29

In an immersive flight experience, you’ll dogfight, strike, and fly your way to conquering the skies. Strap yourself into the cockpit of over 20 unique aircraft and become a true ace in Project Wingman.

The Ascent (Cloud, Console, and PC) ID@Xbox – July 29

Available with Xbox Game Pass on day one, The Ascent is a solo and co-op action-shooter RPG set in a cyberpunk world. The mega corporation that owns you and everyone, The Ascent Group, has just collapsed. Can you survive without it?

Xbox Game Pass: Games for August 2021

Twelve Minutes (PC, Cloud, and Console) – August 19

In Twelve Minutes, you play as a man coming home for what should be a romantic evening with your wife. The night twists into a nightmare when a brutish policeman breaks into your home, accuses your wife of murder, and beats you to death… only for you to wake up, suddenly returned to the moment you opened the front door. Your wife is blissfully unaware of what is about to happen, but you… you remember everything.

Psychonauts 2 (PC, Cloud, and Console) – August 25

Psychonauts 2 is an exciting journey through the mind filled with the signature Double Fine humor and heart, and a touch of next-level platforming. You play as Razputin Aquato, a trained acrobat and powerful young psychic, who has realized his lifelong dream of joining the international psychic espionage organization known as the Psychonauts. But these psychic super spies are in trouble. Raz must use his powers to bring the murderous psychic villain, Maligula, back from the dead! Check out the video above and get psyched!

Hades (PC, Cloud, and Console) – TBA

As the immortal Prince of the Underworld, you’ll wield the powers and mythic weapons of Olympus to break free from the clutches of the god of the dead himself, while growing stronger and unraveling more of the story with each unique escape attempt.

Xbox Game Pass: Games for September 2021

Aragami 2 (PC, Cloud, and Console) – September 17

Aragami 2 is a third person stealth game where you play as an assassin with the power to control the shadows. Join the shadow clan and fight the invader armies to protect your people. You are one of the last elite warriors of your kin, the Aragami. Victims of a supernatural affliction which corrodes the body and devours the mind, the Aragami control Shadow Essence – a mystical power which grants the ability to control the shadows. With this power the Aragami carry out their tasks and quests – assignments made all along the valley to ensure the subsistence of the village and to free the Aragami enslaved by the invader armies.

Sable (PC, Cloud, and Console) – September 23

Embark on a unique and unforgettable journey and guide Sable through her Gliding; a rite of passage that will take her across vast deserts and mesmerizing landscapes, capped by the remains of spaceships and ancient wonders.

The post Xbox Game Pass: New Games for July and August 2021 Revealed appeared first on Den of Geek.

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gadgetsrevv · 5 years ago

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Carlos Vela breaks MLS’ goals record to live up to the hype of a U17 World Cup prodigy

The MLS goals and single-season points records fall in LAFC’s win vs. Colorado. Watch MLS on ESPN+.

Carlos Vela‘s name will be the subject of headlines far outside the United States after his hat trick in the Los Angeles Football Club’s 3-1 victory over the Colorado Rapids — in U.S. legend Tim Howard‘s final game — saw him break the Major League Soccer record for most goals in a single season. It’s a feat that sees the Mexican place himself firmly among the greatest to ever play in the league and as one of Mexico’s all-time best players, even if that might sound controversial given how much hype he endured early in his career.

Four days before Vela made history, a video from FIFA of the goals from Mexico’s 2005 Under-17 World Cup final win over Brazil went viral on social networks in Mexico, on the 14th anniversary of the game.

@miseleccionmx became world champions #OnThisDay in 2005.

A team featuring the likes of @11carlosV, @OficialGio and @HectorMorenoh won the #U17WC by beating Brazil 3-0 in the final

pic.twitter.com/pbYoXA4bfy

— FIFA.com (@FIFAcom) October 2, 2019

It brought back memories of what was a seminal moment in Mexican football. El Tri had never accomplished anything near as important on the world stage. TV crews set up inside the living rooms of the players’ extended families back home to record reactions, and people poured out onto the streets after the game ended; even 14 years on, Mexican soccer fans still remember where they watched it.

It was heralded, too hastily in retrospect, as a watershed moment for Mexican soccer.

At the forefront of it all was Vela, the scorer of the opening goal against Brazil and the tournament’s Gold Boot winner. The smiley — hence his “hyena” nickname — 16-year-old from the Caribbean town of Cancun was thrust into the Mexican public’s consciousness. The hopes of a football-crazed nation were pinned onto the group, only three members of which — Vela, Giovani dos Santos and Hector Moreno — would go on to have any regularity with the full national team.

– Stream MLS games LIVE on ESPN+ – Vela wins MLS Golden Boot in record season – Carlisle: Family has Barco primed to be difference maker

For Vela, a move to Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal swiftly followed before even a debut with Chivas in Mexico’s first division. Loans to Spain and attempts to integrate into the Arsenal squad failed, before the stability of Real Sociedad and now LAFC. In between, there has been a fractious relationship with El Tri, with Vela opting to make himself unavailable for the 2014 World Cup and being equally evasive post-Russia 2018.

The irony and great shame from the national team’s point of view is that Vela’s best seasons at club level have coincided with him not being available for El Tri. That’s epitomized by Vela’s record-setting season in MLS, while his self-imposed exile from the national team continues.

His reputation in Mexico is that he is not in love with the game he plays, with quotes from 2014 stating football has never been his passion still pervading. The critics when he moved Stateside said the transfer would allow him to be able to follow the sport he loves, basketball, more closely than he could from Europe.

The perception in Vela’s country, even today, is regularly slanted toward what he could’ve been, rather than what he is. But that looks unfair given Vela’s 2019 performance. The player has stepped up in every regard.

Carlos Vela is now Major League Soccer’s single-season goal-scoring record holder.

Former Mexico coach Juan Carlos Osorio challenged players leaving Europe for MLS to be among the best players in the league, which is what Vela has done. And Bob Bradley threw down the gauntlet to Vela and asked him to get as close to the level of Lionel Messi as possible. The LAFC coach took his share of criticism for making the comment, which was part of the We Are LAFC documentary (stream on ESPN+).

Obviously, no player can match Messi’s superhuman output, but Vela has become to LAFC what Messi is to Barcelona and is the embodiment of the Designated Player tag.

Across his 31 appearances this season, Vela is atop the MLS charts in expected assists (10.2) and expected goals (25.94), and he has taken more shots (159) than anyone else and has contributed directly to more goals (49) than Real Salt Lake, D.C. United, Montreal Impact, Orlando City, Vancouver Whitecaps, FC Cincinnati and Columbus Crew have scored all season. No one in the league’s 24-year history has scored more goals in a season than his 34.

MLS defenses clearly don’t stack up to those in La Liga, but if Bradley was asking Vela to be that difference-maker for his team, then the Messi challenge was just: Vela has contributed an average of 1.62 goals plus assists per 90 minutes for LAFC in MLS in 2019, as compared to Messi’s 1.46 per 90 for Barcelona in La Liga.

Bradley has got out of Vela what other coaches couldn’t, coaxing him through one of the best individual seasons MLS has ever seen. And as for the lack of passion, the strop Vela threw when he was taken off in August’s El Trafico against LA Galaxy highlighted that he cares much more than is generally perceived, while the rivalry with Zlatan Ibrahimovic — stoked primarily by the Swede — has surely been spurring Vela on that little bit more.

Just like last winter when Barcelona came in for Vela, LAFC likely will be fielding inquiries from foreign clubs this time around, although the Black and Gold don’t see any benefit from letting him leave on loan.

And while Vela, at 31, is condemned from a Mexico national team point of view never to live up to the expectations generated by those heady days in Peru back in 2005, he almost is more popular with LAFC fans because of it. Vela is a misunderstood genius who belongs to LAFC, embodies the club and has stamped his authority all over it. He has found a home in Los Angeles.

The kid from Cancun was never cut out to seek the type of fame and adulation that some players crave, but he has found success on his own terms. And that should be enjoyed.

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floscopetv · 6 years ago

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If I need to be inpatient, in the hospital...

University of Miami Hospital is the place for me.

In fact, I am going to extend my stay until a Friday or Saturday. So far this has been one of the very best hospitals I have had the privilege to be in. Since the beginning I have been in the hospital more than 20 times. All over the State of Florida. Here at @uhealth-blog University of Miami Hospital.

For those of you who don’t know my name is Sean and I am the creator and Founder of FloScope.tv, FloScope, and the Floscoper family and movement. FloScope.tv can be seen live and on replays on Periscope’s: Periscope.tv/Claesgens or click the link at the top of our web page here. http://FloScope.tv

About two and a half years ago, my own (very strong) Immune system turned on me. Ultimately what it comes down to is an extremely rare genetic autoimmune inflammatory process and tissue disease. Essentially and even in spite of multiple forms of Chemotherapeutic autoimmune suppression ongoing, I have yet to achieve a real and lasting meaningful remission. What happens essentially is that my own immune system attacks my body. I have and live with multiple types some severe of pain, have lost some of my vision, my hearing, had minor strokes in my brain, damage to my nerves, and damage to my lungs. I have many diagnoses which are essentially correct but it is all of them: Lupus, CIDP, Susac’s Syndrome, Rheumatoid Arthritis, multiple Strokes including Lacunar Infatcs, Branch Retinal Arterial Occlusion, and Sensoral Neurovascular, Multiple Peripheral Neuropathy, COPD and Intististial lung disease, etc etc etc.

Most recently I loss the hearing in my right ear, most likely caused by another stroke to my ear. I came to Miami, University of Miami School of Neurology to meet with my extraordinary Dr. and professor of Vascular Neurology, Dr Asdaghi. She is one of the two doctors out of all of them, whom has this far saved my life and attempted to forge new ground, in an almost unheard of condition and disease. After searching all over the state for the right hospital that could save me, I came very close to death in 2017, and have been disabled since the end of 2016. The other Dr., my Rheumotoligist Dr Howard Busch DO from Jupiter Florida was the first to begin aggressively to treat my disease and save my life. He also collaborates very closely with the rest of my team at U of M. Needless to say I have been in the care of hundreds and likely thousands of health care professionals over the past 2.5 years.

This Organization UHealth, University of Miami Hospital, and the entire U of M medical school, clearly on the cutting edge of science at the same time as truly treating those who many others have no idea how to handle. The staff here, from the Doctor’s to the Nurses, Aides, Management, Technicians and the list goes on. Anyone suffering from severe Autoimmune Inflammatory disease not satisfied with your care, do yourself a favor and consult with them. I get nothing for saying this but only hope it will help you.

Anyway, looks like it’s time to bring out the Nuclear Bomb of Autoimmune Suppression. I currently am on 6 types of chemotherapeutic medicines. Most recently my disease has taken another turn for the worse. With the stroke in my right ear defenning me completely in my right ear about a week ago (2/28/2019), and my disease activated which almost certainly means it is just not only destroying my hearing, but working on other systems. So I have decided to go with the collaborative recommendation to stop or temporarily stop and go through the Susac’s protocol switching to Cyclophosphamide.

Consequently I am taking on some risk, for the potential rewards. I will be here until the end of the week anyhow. I am thankful to have so many talented, willing and able amazing human beings around me dedicated to the health of humankind. Thank you all that I can attribute to helping make this experience in life possible. This is not a complaint post, in fact quite the opposite in fact. It is a letter of tribute if anything and an update on my story as it continues.

Find us on the web:

Connect with us on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=760933410

Or-

https://www.facebook.com/FloScope/

Or Twitter:

Thank you for catching up with me, and I hope you will reach out. I plan to run a fundraiser (on Facebook) to help myself and my two sons to get buy during this very challenging period of no income and disability. Please share, like, tweet, post and repost etc. sharing and spreading the word is caring. You can make a contribution at any time to

PayPal.com/floscope

thank you in advance for your support, and thank you for reading this post and connecting with me

#claesgens #floscope #joy #love #humanity #floscoper #claesgensintegrated #periscope #dealingwithchronicillness #lovingeveryminuteofit #universityofmiami #UHealth

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ben-winch-writer-rocker · 6 years ago

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Broader Context

Top Five (for 2018):

Caterina Barbieri—Patterns of Consciousness,

Anouar Brahem—Blue Maqams,

Terry Riley—Persian Surgery Dervish,

Lojii—Lofeye,

Loren Connors—Airs.

(These are the albums I listened to most in 2018, not albums released in 2018.)

Backstory:

I never was a rock ’n’ roll animal. More like a werewolf, prone to sudden fits of rockism. I spent my teen years listening to Joy Division, New Order and early Cure albums. Favourite song? “All Cats Are Grey” (from Faith) or New Order’s “In A Lonely Place”. Slo-o-ow. Most bands played >75% fast. I craved >75% slow. Really, I craved atmosphere. By age 17 I was sick to death of distorted guitars. (I learnt to love ’em later, of course, but not to the exclusion of all else.) I thought music was serious business—“art”. And I thought art was “sophisticated”. So I took a stand, adopted a niche, and, to a large extent, that niche was anti-rock.

Of course, to a large extent, that stance was a pose. My first ever album purchase was Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet! I dug “Back in Black”, the Cult’s Electric, ZZ Top. But Joy Division’s Closer changed all that. The synths, the starkness, the spaciousness, the sense that anything could happen. The journey from anger through grief, resentment, resignation, desperation, and awestruck sad wonder. It’s unique, haunting, deathly serious. And though maybe what I should have done (what would have educated me more) was to hunt down Joy Division’s influences, instead I did what was easier and followed those they’d influenced. But in the back of my head was always this sense that music could do more. Of course I realise now that actually some of the straightest rock tracks are mini miracles of energy and precision, but maybe my respect for that form is heightened by the fact that, deep down, it isn’t mine. My music is (mostly) introspective, reflective, delicate. And slowly, as once-obscure albums have become more widely available, I’ve discovered other music like mine, like the music I’ve always heard in my head.

What brings me to this juncture, then—to the point of blogging about rock—is my background as a rock-fan who wanted more. Not more volume, more aggression, or more of any of the things that are normally associated with rock, but more infiltration into rock by other musics, other sounds—sounds which, in many cases, I couldn’t even identify myself, I just knew I wanted them. Keep in mind, I’d never had much money for music. I never was a collector—far from it, Never even owned a turntable. In fact, I always pirated music, first on tape, then on CD, then via download. Nowadays, I stream. So from taping friends’ albums, to burning CDs I’d taken on approval from the record store where I worked (not for long; I’m more of a bookseller), to taking whatever I could get on the Pirate Bay, to the minor miracle of Spotify and YouTube, the scope of my listening has steadily expanded.

I remember hearing Philip Glass and Steve Reich aged 20: I’d never heard anything like that before, and I never would have heard it then if not for a friend’s parent’s CD collection. I first heard Rhys Chatham and Glen Branca aged 35; even though I’d been listening to Sonic Youth since my early 20s, it took a guy ten years younger and internet-savvy—a workmate at a bookshop—to turn me onto their influences. (He turned me onto Bitches’ Brew too.) I was a late uptaker, technology-wise. I never thought music was about technology. I guess I thought I was Neil Young or something: just plug in and play and some loyal engineer would take care of recording, just as some Alan McGee or Ivo Watts-Russell would distribute the result. It didn’t happen. In 2009 I bought my first halfway-decent computer. Nowadays, almost everything I listen to is something I researched and sourced via the internet. Sometimes, an algorithm spits out something worthwhile. Maybe owing to my age and the fact I have a family, and that much of my listening is done via headphones while working on something else—that music, for the most part is background rather than foreground for me—90% of the music I listen to is ambient, predominantly textural, and distinctly lacking in melody. “In your face” it is not. But then again, maybe for that reason there’s nothing I like better than a sudden burst of rock.

One last point: maybe owing to a traumatic childhood and a lifetime’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I’ve always favoured music that subdues me rather than music that exhilarates me. Gangsta rap was good for this purpose (maybe incongruously, it reminded me of the Cure’s early days, synth-driven and minimalist and steeped in a sense of doom). The doom was crucial. I never could stomach a lot of cheese, or any false sense of reassurance. My ideal mood was a cushioned sense of doom—as if danger were all around, but I was, for the moment, safe. But maybe I’m over-simplifying. Exhilaration is fine, but usually for me it’s slow-building. The realisation of just how moving and well-constructed something is, for eg—that’s exhilarating. And then, sure, 10% of the time I like to blast myself with loud guitars and driving beats.

Other influences: Autechre, Tricky, J Dilla—Donuts, Miles Davis—Bitches’ Brew, Coltrane—Crescent, Floating Points, Visible Cloaks, Oneohtrix Point Never, Howard Shore—Crash, Stephan Bodzin, Plastikman, Flying Lotus, John Lee Hooker, Fats Domino, James Carr, Leonard Cohen.

Observations:

Ultimately, I can fist-punch and air-guitar with the best of ’em, but only on full moons. Which is to say, I love rock ’n’ roll, but not as a lifestyle, not as a religion. I like light and shade, always have. I’ve got my own take on rock, and to some extent it’s an outsider’s. I like bands whose aims are different from the average—who try for reactions other than fist-pumping.

More importantly for me personally, the fact of my slow education in music other than rock means I came to that music through rock. My skills as a musician and a critic (if I have any skills as a critic) are rock-centric. I want more than the average rock band offers, but it needn’t be more musicianship (though that’d be nice). I believe in a minimum of means. I believe in punk. I believe “There’s more to the picture than meets the eye”. But I also wanna see rock grow up.

ROCK THEORY, then? It’s about what I want rock to be, based on what I’ve loved in rock and outside of it in the past. The best rock has a magic to it. And it’s that magic I’m hunting here, trying to pin it down, to examine it. Why? In the name of science, I guess.

#RockMusic #ExperimentalMusic #ExperimentalRock #MostPlayed #RockHistory #RockTheory #RockJournalism

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magicandmayhcm · 5 years ago

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You Belong To Me | A Drabble

Who: Victoria Strand, Renee Reynolds, Michael Howard Where: Austin, Texas & New York City What: Tori’s birth mom, Renee, asks Tori to talk to her. Tori agrees and gets in Renee’s car. Before she knows it, she’s being flown up to NYC and taken away from her family. Trigger Warnings: Kidnapping, Slight mentions of physical & emotional abuse

twenty minutes. she just had to make it the last twenty minutes and then the school day would be over and the weekend would begin. not that victoria had many plans for the weekend. she still didn’t have that many friends here, but that was okay. she could spend the weekend reading or playing a new video game. there was always something more fun than being stuck in a classroom to be done. her eyes watched the clock as the second hand seemed to move ever so slowly. a watched pot never boils. how many times had she heard that phrase over the years? too many to count. she could be a tad impatient when there was something she was looking forward to.

eyes closed as she pretended to be listening to her english teacher. english was one of her best subjects, and she didn’t feel it necessary to listen to her teacher drone on and on about the grammar rules they were supposed to be learning that day. her essays she turned in proved well enough that she knew how to write - she always managed a’s and b’s on them.

her mind was wandering, thinking about the newest book she’d checked out of the library and whether she would try to finish it this weekend. not that there was much thought to put into it - she was a book worm through and through. she was so lost in thought that she almost missed the bell that signaled the end of class and, more importantly, the end of the school day.

grabbing her backpack, she headed to her locker to get the books she would need for homework over the weekend and then made her way out to the front of the school to wait for her bus. however, she stopped in her tracks when she saw a woman she recognized standing near the school entrance. renee - also known as her mother. she only recognized her from the fact she had been trying to get tori to talk to her for the past few weeks. tori had been avoiding her for the most part, but it was starting to wear her down.

“hey, tor-tor,” renee greeted with a smile. “how about a ride home? we can stop and get some ice cream on the way.”

she wanted to say know; she really did. but tori halfway hoped that if she said yes, maybe - just maybe - renee would finally leave her alone. so, with a sigh of hesitation, she finally acquiesced.

“fine. but just for a little bit. dad always calls at four to make sure i’m home.”

“i’ll be sure you’re home before then, don’t worry,” renee promised, smile never faltering, although tori thought there was something a little off about it.

she let the woman lead her to the car she’d rented when she’d flown down to the texas town and climbed into the passenger seat. her hand automatically went into her pocket for her phone, pulling it out to check the time. “we only have twenty minutes, so maybe you can just drive me home and we can talk on the way there?”

the car started up and renee began driving without giving an answer. tori swallowed roughly, unsure if she’d made the right decision in agreeing to this. maybe she should have called owen right away when she had seen the brunette woman standing there waiting for her. but no - she hadn’t wanted to involve him in this mess. she was fifteen. she was old enough to start figuring these things out for herself.

“c’mon, i’m sure it’ll be okay,” renee eventually said as they pulled onto the main freeway. “just tell owen you decided to go to a friend’s house, i’m sure he’ll understand.”

he might. then again, he might get upset that tori hadn’t mentioned it earlier. either way, she had a feeling the suggestion wasn’t merely a suggestion and that renee was expecting her to do that. looking at the phone in her hands, she hesitated, wondering if she should call owen and tell him what was happening. almost as if reading her mind, renee turned to look at her.

“don’t even think about it. if you tell him you’re with me, you’ll regret it, you got that?”

the sudden change in demeanor sent a shiver down the teen’s spine. it was obvious to her now that getting in the car had been a bad idea. especially as they continued driving and tori noticed signs stating they were heading north out of town.

“w - where are we going? i thought you were taking me home.”

“i am. i’m taking you home to my home. you’re my daughter and i’ll be damned if i let owen keep you away from me anymore.”

another rough swallow happened when she felt the phone buzzing in her hands. she’d been so preoccupied with watching their surroundings that she hadn’t been paying attention to the time. looking at the phone, she saw her father’s name on the caller id. somehow, renee must have seen it from where she was sitting as well.

“tell him what i told you earlier,” she stated, hand reaching over to grip tori’s leg much harder than was necessary. “you tell him you went to a friend’s house. and you better not make it obvious you’re lying.”

terrified didn’t even begin to explain how tori was feeling. tears were welling up in her eyes as she realized how much of a mistake she’d made. it was evident now that this had all been a ruse to get victoria alone with renee. and as she continued to look at the signs, she noticed they were not only heading out of town but towards an airport.

taking a breath to steady her voice as much as she possibly could, the teen answered the phone on the last ring.

“h - hello,” she began, her voice breaking, which only earned her another hard grip from the woman’s hand.

“tori, you okay? you sound upset.” her father’s voice came through from the other line and she could hear the worry in it. she hated this. hated all of it. he was dealing with enough as it was without having to add this on top of it. and she couldn’t even tell him what was happening without risking something bad happening to her.

“yeah, sorry. just a - a little out of breath.”

“are you at home?”

“no, i, um .. i decided to go with a friend to grab a bite to eat and then maybe hang out at her place for a little bit.” she looked over to renee who was mouthing the word sleepover, and tori understood what she meant. “she actually invited me to stay over tonight, so i, um, i’m hoping that’s okay.”

“tor ...” a small pause and a sigh could be heard before owen continued speaking. “you know i like more notice than that. but yes, i suppose it’s fine. just text me your friend’s address and her parents names so i have it in case of an emergency.”

“okay, daddy. i will. i love you.” saying those three words pained her, knowing that she might not get to speak to him again for a while.

“i love you too, tori. behave yourself tonight. goodbye.”

when the call was ended, tori finally let the tears she’d been holding back fall. this wasn’t what she’d been expecting to happen.

“knock it off,” came the sharp voice of renee as she pulled into the airport lot. “i don’t need people seeing the two of us with you blubbering and thinking something’s wrong. if you tell anybody what’s going on, i will make you pay for it, do you understand me?”

the teen just nodded, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. she wanted to run, to ask for help, but the thought of what renee might do to her - or worse, to her dad or brother - made her stay with the woman. she wasn’t going to risk getting someone she cared about hurt, even if that meant having to endure this hell of a situation on her own.

she kept her eyes down through the whole process. while tickets were being purchased, through boarding, and as the plane rose up into the air. when they were flying over the states, she closed her eyes, feeling the tears silently streaming down her cheeks, doing her best to wipe them away before renee saw them. though from what tori could tell, her “mother” was too busy drinking to give a rat’s ass about what was going on. now all tori could do was hope that owen would figure out the sleepover thing was a ruse and discover what had happened. she had little hope of that happening, especially as the plane landed and she was led to a car with another man waiting inside of it.

“tori, this is michael, my fiance. michael, this is my daughter tori. she’s going to be staying with us for a while, isn’t that right?”

“um, yeah, i guess so,” tori mumbled, eyes staring blankly out the car window.

“and your ex is okay with this?” michael asked quietly, though tori could hear what he was saying.

“of course he is. what, do you think i kidnapped her or something?” renee asked with a small laugh. this just made tori’s eyes well up once more. turning to face her daughter, renee held out a hand. “why don’t you give me your phone to hold onto? that way if your father calls, i can reassure him you’re just fine.”

tori knew this was bullshit. she knew the only reason renee wanted the phone was so tori couldn’t call for help.

“i think i’ll hold onto it,” she said, her first act of defiance since this whole ordeal started.

“give me the phone. now.”

the tone of the woman’s voice and the look in her eyes scared tori, but she knew she couldn’t give up her only real chance of help.

“it’s d - dead,” she lied. “i was going to charge it when we got to your house. i can give it to you after it’s done.”

she noticed michael staring at her through the rearview mirror and hoped maybe he could tell something was off. whether he did or not, he didn’t say, but they were soon pulling into the driveway of a nice house.

“let’s get settled,” he said, offering the girl a smile. “where are your things? i don’t remember you putting a suitcase in the trunk.”

“oh, that’s because i told her i would buy her new clothes here!” renee piped in before tori could say anything. “i figured we could go shopping in the morning. spend some quality mother and daughter time together.”

“sounds good to me,” michael agreed with a shrug. “let’s get in and order some food. i’m sure you’re both starving.”

moving slowly up the drive and towards the house, tori knew she was only going to have one shot at getting help before things got worse. walking into the house, she managed to find the way to the bathroom and lock herself inside before renee could stop her and she pulled out her phone. she hit the call button to call her father and waited, hoping and praying he would pick up, because if he didn’t - well ... there was no knowing what might happen next.

#d: you belong to me #m: victoria strand #kidnapping tw #abuse tw

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torentialtribute · 6 years ago

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Aston Villa news: Dean Smith says he can’t walk his dog at 6:30am without being stopped for a photo

When he was 16, Dean Smith cycled on his way to Villa Park working in a paint factory . During the early 6 o'clock team in the morning, he thought about his chances of ever playing for his favorite football club.

& # 39; It was a full-time job, but I only saw it as temporary, & he said. & # 39; I just wanted to be a footballer and play for Aston Villa . & # 39;

They were big dreams, too big because it happened. Smith has never drawn on burgundy and blue.

Aston Villa boss Dean Smith sent his boys club back to the Premier League

"I was not good enough, it was that simple," he said.

But last season he achieved the following best. He became the manager of a club whose famous colors run like a river through his family and on Saturday he is back on the sidelines as Villa opposite Tottenham as a Premier League side.

& # 39; With my family and my friends I am what I used to be, a fan, & Smith told & # 39; on Thursday Sportsmail . & # 39; But I have to park it at work.

& # 39; So there will be a lot of emotional control going on in Tottenham, even if I know deep down, the hairs in my neck will be upright. & # 39;

In the window of the Smith office on the club's training ground is a graceful Villa emblem. Frames on the stairs contain photos of the successes of the club League and European Cup of the early 1980s. His walls were white when he got his job in October 2018, but are now clear and blue.

Some managers run from the past of a club when they arrive.

Smith's father was 25 years of steward in the Trinity Road Stand. He used to show President Doug Ellis in his seat. Smith's neighbor as a child was Pat Heard, a replacement when Villa won the European Cup final against Bayern Munich in 1982. Smith's father didn't let him go to that game, but Heard made sure he was on the bus while he paraded the trophy through Birmingham the next day.

& # 39; I saw the life that Pat had and I have always wanted that, & # 39; Smith recalled. "I think I worked very hard to get it and I want my players here to embrace it as I try.

Smith & # 39; s father was a steward for 25 years and showed the chairman to his seat

& # 39 You soon realize that this club means a lot. History will always be there, but I told these players last season that they could make themselves legends by promoting. It's now our job to create more history. & # 39 ;

Villa will tackle the top division with a team strengthened by eight signing sessions. been ambitious approach to Smith and Villa & # 39; s Spanish sports director Jesus Garcia Pitarch.

From a distance it seems a bit risky. Too much change can take as much of a team as it gives. Smith disagrees.

& # 39; Two days after the last play-off we all sat down and agreed that it was important that the players who were an integral part of promoting us and who had the connection with the supporters restored, stayed and were made to feel important, & he said.

& # 39; We did that. We still have that Villa heartbeat in the dressing room, absolutely. & # 39;

& # 39; s play-off heroes were largely retained prior to the return of the Midlands side of the flight

Smith was, he claims, a modest footballer for 16 years as a central defender at Walsall, Hereford, Orient, Sheffield Wednesday and Port Vale. Significantly, however, he was captain at every club he played for.

& # 39; Sometimes people see things in you that you don't see in yourself, & # 39; he mused.

Skipper at Walsall at the age of 19, Smith was still the designated driver for Tuesday afternoon drinking sessions with Midlands football figures such as Villa European legends Gary Shaw and Dennis Mortimer – both played with Smith – and West Bromwich & # 39; s Cyrille Regis.

& # 39; Gary Shaw had many injuries, but what a player, & # 39; Smith recalled. & # 39; We trained in the parking lot on Friday. It was an up and down slate surface, but the touch was incredible. We would have a drink and I was a captain, but on those occasions I was the one who listened to guys like Cyrille and Ally Robertson and Derek Statham. I spent a lot of time with Cyrille. A sad loss when he died. Such a & # 39; n real person.

& # 39; Mind you, I played against him for Orient against Chester and he had something like & # 39; Whack! & # 39; Straight in my stomach. Nice to see you too, Cyrille. & # 39;

NOW THEY HAVE ALL COVERED BASE …

Aston Villa has signed 12 new players this summer, who are taking enough positions to complete a full to form a new team and space for another replacement …

KEEPER Tom Heaton (£ 8m, Burnley)

DEFENDERS Tyrone Mings ( 26.5m, Bournemouth) Ezri Konsa (£ 12m, Brentford) Bjorn English (£ 7m, Stade Reims) Kortney Hause (£ 3m, Wolves)

MIDFIELDERS Matt Targett (£ 15m, Southampton) Douglas Luiz (£ 12.5 m, Man City) Marvelous Nakamba (£ 10.75 m, Bruges) Trezeguet (£ 8.75 m, Kasimpasa) Jota (£ 4 m + Gary Gardner, Birmingham) Anwar El Ghazi (not made public, Lille)

FORWARD Wesley Moraes (£ 22m, Bruges)

Smith & # 39; s first taste of coaching was like a Assistant Linguist of Martin Ling in Orient in 2005. When they were fired after four years, he felt it was a death in the family. He is currently on the League Managers Association committee alongside the likes of Sir Alex Ferguson, David Moyes, Sam Allardyce, Chris Hughton and Howard Wilkinson as the only one still working.

"My motivation has always been to prove people wrong, & # 39; he said. & # 39; As a 17-year-old I was told by one of my managers that I would never be in front of a group being able to stand and speak. That stayed with me. I wanted to show him.

& # 39; I want to be completely consistent. I learned more from the coaches I didn't like from those who I did when I identified the things they did that I had to throw away. I want to be the manager I would like to be managed by.

& # 39; For example, I don't want to be high if we win and low if we lose, players don't want to see that, they want consistency from me if I want to get it back from them After a game, I don't think I can change anything, so I'm not in the dressing room for 20 minutes. well done, good luck and then I'm gone.

The villa owner was not afraid to admit" his motivation has always been to prove people wrong & # 39;

& # 39; As an assistant I did not have the best emotional control. At Orient, I was more furious with players and I learned that you can't be that way because you need them the next game. Do not hit a fight that you do not have to use. Problems will always find you as a manager, so don't look for them. & # 39;

Smith has a reputation for being friendly and it certainly seemed that way on Thursday. He says that his favorite environment is the training field, but believes that the responsibility of a coach should not start and end on the grass.

& I don't care what job you're in – soccer or a factory – these people are all people with different emotions, sensitivities and lives away from work, & he said. It is my job to get the best out of it, so I need to know things like this. I see the job as the entire spectrum.

I love coaching, improving people. But it is the mental side that pushes these guys and if you don't get connected to them, players can easily decide that they won't work for you. & # 39;

Smith eventually made his reputation as a manager at Walsall and then Brentford. However, last year's move to Villa was an important step that was only taken after consultation with his family.

The 48-year-old knew that his modest, relatively quiet life would change and he was ready. But he was worried, for example, about how his daughter would manage at school if Villa didn't win.

& # 39; I know how many Villa fans there are and I knew that my family's life was about to come in the spotlight, & he said.

Smith has previous management experience on both Walsall and second-rate Brentford

& # 39; I had to make sure they liked it. They were all: "Yes!" My daughter said she can handle it and we had my son on FaceTime from America and he was the same.

& # 39; He came to the play-off game and flew home drunk. So far it has succeeded! & # 39;

Smith has spoken extensively and courageously about the dementia of his father Ron. Smith Snr lives in home care and, despite the regular visits of the Villa manager, does not know that his son is in charge of the football club that means so much to him.

Mother, Hilary, is central to Smith's thoughts today. Mrs. Smith was recently interviewed at her main street location in Great Barr by a TV crew. Looking for a reaction to the success of Villa, the reporter did not know that he was talking to the manager's mother.

& # 39; She was just shopping, & # 39; smiled Smith. & # 39; That clip apparently has 90,000 views, but it won't know what that means.

The 48-year-old tribute to his mother and father and their influence behind his success

& Mother, father and brother were proud of me in Hereford as they are today.

& # 39; My dad never drove, so mom would drive us to away games in a yellow Vauxhall Live when I was a kid. She has treated my father's disease well in general.

& # 39; She did not want to accept it at first. She said he had always been forgetful. I finally told him to go to the doctors. I had a drink with him in the admiral – our old place – a few years ago and he went to the bathroom and just didn't come back. He was confused and just went home without me. Heartbreaking.

& # 39; After the diagnosis, she wanted to take care of him and always said she coped. But in the end she broke into me and I said, "That's right."

& # 39; That was hard for mom, admitting he had to go to a house. Nobody ever wants to do that, does it? But he's been happy there and he's where he needs to be. It also gives my mother her life back. & # 39;

Smith's life has changed wholesale in the last 10 months since he took over the leadership of Villa

As far as Smith & # 39; s life is concerned, it has changed dramatically over the past 10 months, as he knew. Even walks with his dog Charlie – provided by Hilary on competition days – are not the same.

& # 39; I created the club before I came because I know, but if you fill gas and people want a photo, it'll be different, & he smiled.

& # 39; I'm trying to be a normal guy. I walk the dog at half past five, but then another dog out wants a photo. That's really incredible, right? I have always enjoyed a pint with my friends, but that is now a logistical nightmare. & # 39;

Of course it all belongs to the territory and it is a territory that Smith knows well. He is where he wants to be, in the club that has always been at the front and center of the family.

& # 39; Just walking to this place is enough for me, & # 39; he said, casting his eyes out the window

& # 39; I smile as soon as I see that club badge on the gate. & # 39;

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