#id like to eat a bit better and to move sometimes

[bouquetofgemstones]

5.5.2024: I only have two things left for this semester, a learning diary deadline next Sunday and an exam tomorrow morning. I'm spending all weekend studying for it. I can't wait till it's over, my neck is killing me.

[prone-to-fleeting-obsessions]

Dating Veritas Ratio hc's

Out of all the hsr men, I'd imagine he'd be the most irritated figuring out he has a crush

A crush? A stupid little manifestation of his irrational emotions???

He'll stew over it a while, picking it apart like the most complex of equations, his stoic expression not wavering

So what if he's around you often? So what if he unconsciously seeks you out, it doesn't mean anything...

He'll hammer that narrative over and over until it becomes truth, or as close to truth as his mind will allow

You'll act like a married couple, though

He'll scold you without any real irritation, eyes narrowing as he pulls you closer to just fix the problem himself

A leaf in your hair? Your sleeve unrolled? Coffee stain on your shirt?

Honestly, how could you be such a careless mess...

Wait, no. No don't go, you're his careless mess—

It'll become a new normal to just have him occasionally once over your appearance, looking for things he can fix and doing so without a word

He also takes it upon himself to make you a healthier and more rounded person

No you're not eating garbage calories for the third meal in a row, yes you are drinking a full glass of water as he reads you excerpts from his book on how quantum chemistry applies to theoretical engineering under Nous's 63rd law of imaginary quantum information science, and there will be a quiz after so pay attention

If asked about why he's often seen by your side, he'll usually answer with a glare and an insult, commenting on the lack of even borderline decent conversationalists around

You're probably not really going to get an actual confession out of him, because that would force him to admit defeat to those annoyingly persistent feelings that just won't leave him be

If you take the initiative of backing him into a corner, you get to watch him flounder a bit, an expression of agitation and a growing warmth throughout his whole body as he skirts the topic with overly complex excuses

He's a big fan of doing different things in the same space, talking isn't necessary

Occasionally, when he remembers you're still there, he'll glance up from his book to see how you're faring, before getting back into it

He has a bit of a staring problem, in a way

It's just that he's so up in his head often, usually easily loosing sight of his surroundings, and you just happen to be the most pleasing thing to keep his eyes on

He'll look away when he notices you staring back, but it's not long before you feel his eyes trained on you again, as if studying every little movement as he works out equations in his head

Of course he does need alone time, usually spent reading in the bath

But that period seems to be getting shorter and shorter as his focus is constantly broken by unconditionally looking around to find you while deep in thought

He will absolutely use you as a blank canvas to throw ideas and thoughts on if he can't work through something in his head

By explaining it to you in mind numbing detail, he'll usually run headfirst into the solution, and it's a treat to watch his eyes widen ever so slightly as he pauses, immediately thanking you curtly before moving straight to writing

Your sense of curiosity is his favorite trait, the one he wants to nurture and encourage you to feed

He's not expecting you to be as smart as him, that would be an impossible expectation, but he will not allow you to give in to ignorance, to get in the habit of complacency, as it is the enemy of growth

He's an intimidating figure to most, both from his status and sharp tongue, so it's not uncommon for low-level scientists with something to prove to seek you out

Sometimes to get information on him, sometimes to test your intelligence, as if trying to prove themselves better than the company the great Dr. Ratio chooses to keep

He's quick to nip that in the bud, though

His crossed arm stoic faced glare would scare away anyone who isn't keen on being picked apart verbally

He'll claim it's all to avoid tainting you with their idiocracy, and that you really shouldn't keep such company

Tries to use selfish logical excuses constantly to get things he wants from you

"I've already chosen your hotel room for this trip, it'll be next to mine so I don't have to travel as far to compare notes in the morning."

"Honestly. You're coming with me to dinner so I won't waste my time working around your schedule later."

"No. You are absolutely not going to get a closer look at those monsters because I'm not cleaning up the mess you'll no doubt get yourself into by being so reckless."

"You're really going to waste your valuable time entertaining those IPC buffoons? They have more credits than brain cells. Stay here, lest their ignorance rub off on you."

He means well, under the insults and unapproachable demeanor

And, at a certain point, he really can't imagine the rest of his life without you close by

[ilyhaitanii]

id love to hear your thoughts abt jealous ran <3

nonnie, you’re gonne regret asking me this ohymdosnsn

jealous ran is deadly. he’s awfully sweet and charming, more than usual. his sickly sweet smile is only reserved for you. god forbid the person who is making him feel like this is around, it’s over for them.

he’s irritated, to say the least. his body tenses at the way sanzu smiles and jokes around with you. he knows you two are childhood friends, and ran trusts you with all of his heart. he’s pretty confident in himself as well. he likes to think he’s a pretty handsome guy with a good personality, but when he watches the say you smile with sanzu, he starts to doubt himself a bit. in an irrational manner, ran walks over to you two, an arm looping around your shoulders.

“whatcha guys laughin’ about?” his smile is wide— too wide, sanzu notices. you look uo at ran and smile at him, brightly exclaiming what you were discussing with “haru.” even the nickname makes him sick, but ran is soon hit with a wave of embarrassment. what the hell is he doing? why is he comparing himself to sanzu? he doesn’t give a fuck about sanzu (he makes sure sanzu eats his meals, sometimes even poorly tries to prepare him meals after long nights of drinking)

so why the hell was ran haitani, one of the most handsome guys from ronponggi, comparing himself to sanzu. it’s almost as if you can read his mind because you’re quick to compliment how good he looks today. he gives you a soft smile and a kiss on the cheek. sanzu quietly excuses himself, going to rindou to make conversation. ran takes this opportunity to pull you away from the party into a private corridor. his hand is firmly grasped onto yours as he pins you against the wall.

instantly his lips lock onto yours, hands groaping random parts of your body. he wants to stabilize himself, remind himself that you are his. when his hand brushes against the jewel on your ring, ran is hit with another way of embarrassment. that’s right, you picked him. despite all odds and struggles you two went through as kids, you picked ran haitani. he pulls away from you, staring at you dumbfounded.

“when did our hello kiss turn into a hello make out?” you smile up at him, fixing a few strands of hair that had gone astray. “you feel better?” you ask him in a hushed voice, lips leaning closer to his.

“yeah. i love you,” whenever ran speaks to you, he never thinks. his tongue simply rolls out words and phrases. he feels free from the constraints of everyday life, of his past mistakes. he can just be himself.

“i love you too, ran.” and ran knows you love him. whne he’s jealous like this, the only thing that consumes him is self-pity and self-hatred. but you’re able to pull him out of that dark hole by reminding him you chose him for a reason.

you aren’t with him for his money, his looks, his connections. you’re with him because you love him— you love the boy who would bring you flowers every time you went on a date. you loved the boy who took your backpack from you, slinging it over his own shoulders so you could freely move around. you love the boy who draped his tenjaku coat over your legs whenever you sat down and wore a skirt so you could sit however you deemed comfortable.

you loved ran haitani for his heart. and he too loved you.

sorry i got carried away.

[sirensea14]

Smiling critters ,headcanons cuz this is n e c e s s a r y and for s c i e n c e

Kickinchicken is A S I A N because i said so/j. He's the greatest in sarcasm

Craftycorn is Scandinavian in my head for some reason

In school, Bubba is usually the one with the biggest bag and the ultimate supplier of papers. If there's a quiz, hands will be up to him asking "Can we have a piece of paper?" (This is way funnier in my native language than in english💀)

Bubba recites way too much, snatching away all the recitation chips, sometimes, teachers may ask him to substitute them for a bit

The teachers are, of course, Miss Delight and her sisters

Dogday is the president of the class (if only there were more critters lol, then he wouldve gladly taken the role) or the one shouting "Everyone! Quiet!!" when the critters are too noisy

Pickypiggy sits at the back, eating away her snacks and lunch

Catnap dozes off often, but when the teacher calls him, he can answer it correctly. Lazy but smart kid

Kickin only carries a small bag

Bobby and hoppy often gossips with each other. Bffs XD. Theyre also the girly girl and tomboy of the smiling critters respectively

Bubba is good at math and science but doesnt remember shit about history. Meanwhile kickin does better in that subject than he is in math

Bubba and catnap can be school rivals, but catnap doesnt really care (nonchalant)

Crafty, ah yes, crafty, our ultimate artist of tte group. She supplies crayons and pencils, so both her and bubba are the suppliers lol

Kickin can sing and dance, he and Hoppy can go on in a breakdance competition /j

Bobby cheering for hoppy while that happens

Dogday cheers for both (poor dog cant pick a side)

Crafty and dogday are great on writing essays

Pickypiggy x food canon yeah?

Crafty loves to share her original stories and works, dogday and bobby often cheers for her

Bobby, the ultimate fashion lover

Picky is great at home economics subject

Dogday is well on all subjects but notably physical education and english are his strength, i also imagine him to be good at electrical installation and maintenance (eim) tho this is a senior high strand and the critters arent in that grade level, so in elementary terms, he's the mini electrician of the group

Catnap is mostly asleep lol, he's most active at night and sometimes studies at that time. He also reads some of crafty's writing if he has some spare time at night

9 students are awfully few imo, i wish i could see more of dogday shouting at them to settle down, id like to see him in authority

Catnap's bag resembles a pillow and feels like a pillow

Dogday is their role model

Crafty likes to look at the window whenever there's a discussion of lesson

Most beautiful handwriting award goes to: bobby bearhug

Ugliest handwriting award goes to : me/hj im debating whether it be catnap, kickin or bubba lol

Best actress/actor: bobby and kickin, worst: bubba (he's awkward af)

Hoppy and bubba are left handed

While i write all of these headcanon, pickypiggy is eating in her own corner

Catnap would sometimes lean on dogday's shoulder if theyre beside each other. Dogday tries his best to not move his shoulder even if he's busy (like telling the group to be quiet, yes to dogday showing authority)

Thats all, thank you for coming to my little headcanon talk🗿

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c2. 'The urgency.'

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, depression.

song to listen to when reading this: The Chain, Fleetwood Mac.

abstract: this is Jude, this is a little bit of information about me since you care so much, I don't even know you… anyway yes, I really like being mysterious, what you gonna do about it, punch me in the face? I'm not even real, grow the fuck up. see ya.

Sometimes, she just fucking hated her life. She supposed it was normal like that, it happened to everyone to absolutely fucking despise their lives, no? She wakes at the same hour everyday, does her makeup. Not too much, not too little to show she was sleep deprived and got high last night. Her identity was concealed under eyeliner and blush. She looks like a doll. She likes her makeup, she's quite good at it. She plays with her hairstyles, sometimes a bun, sometimes braids, sometimes loose with a headband, depending on the mood. She walks her dog and cleans his poop. Jinx, a 5 month old Belgian Malinois she adopted when she moved. She found him at a shelter for abused puppies, he was the last one to get adopted. She decided to take him, she planned to move to the countryside soon anyways. Gaining his trust was one of her biggest accomplishments, now the dog had a bit of an attachment issue, but they were working on getting better together. She drives to work with the same 4 playlists playing in her car. Old rock, Frank Ocean, some Italian songs here and there.

She always comes in dressed in dark colours, dark red, dark blue or black. She has 10 male patients and 8 female soldiers. Some of them are combat medics, some snipers. Demolition experts. She works 'till lunch time, eats alone, sometimes skips lunch just to make her body feel something and indulge in disordered eating, then goes outside to smoke and comes back in. After the afternoon sessions, she sometimes has groups together for some group therapy. Then she usually goes home and smokes weed while she cooks her dinner, she acts like she's in MasterChef, puts on music and pours herself a glass of wine 'Quando sei qui con me' she sings to her dog, 'Questa stanza non ha più pareti, ma alberi'. Jinx doesn't even know Italian. Two times a week, she teaches ballet at a local dance school. 13 year old is not old enough to be on point shoes. It's her favourite time of the week though. She gets to finally have control of a situation, she gets some respect. 13 year olds, a fucking nightmare… She gets to tell them what to do and correct their arms, their feet, their posture and they listen! They do, and they like her, they say thank you Alba, see you next week! They learn her choreographies, they follow her lead when she explains a new variation. They even like the songs she chooses for warm up. Mostly Abba.

Alba is not her real name, but they don't know that. A gift from Laswell, when she started working for her. A sparkly new identity, English ID and nice documents that prove she's an English citizen, born in Southampton. She's not. Kept a little bit of Italian in the fake name. She hasn't been in Italy in close to five years. She went on vacation alone in Tuscany once, just to feel her country again for a second. She is not in contact with her family, last message from her sister was three years ago, it went 'I hope you're alive.' Her mother taught her violence. To be in power. To be beautiful and kind. To never ever trust someone who wouldn't give their life for you. Her mother taught her loyalty, respect. She used to never cry as a child. She loved to know stuff, to read about planets. She would kill lizards in the backyard with her little brother, who died young. She saw her first gun at 13. Now, her name is not Alba and it sure isn't Jude. Or Judy, as some patients call her. They know it's a callsign, a code name, everyone has one, especially in the task forces. Hers is Jude. 'Jude looks like an angel, but her words have thorns'. That's what Billy Lunette had to say about her. Billy had been her favourite patient for the whole of 2021. He had PTSD, he had night terrors and was in a mental hospital for schizophrenia symptoms for a while. He wouldn't take his medication, he would smoke, he was a mess. He listened to her though. She was the only one who visited him in the hospital. She showed him he could trust her and he completely lost himself in her. He would call her at 3 in the morning, drop by her office too many times per day, developed a bit of a codependency, but she was able to help him through his pain. He would do research about the treatments, the medicine, cognitive behavioural therapy. Billy was happy now. He was grateful to have had her and she was grateful that Billy had been a great patient. Big challenge. Billy was her biggest accomplishment, and proof of the fact she wasn't completely useless in the army.

She didn't work for the entirety of 2022. She had an accident with one of the patients, classified information. She survived, but man was it hard to live after that day... Spent time with her dog, visited a friend in San Francisco, taught ballet. Price and Laswell felt so guilty they continued to pay her even if she wasn't working. Why she decided to come back she really didn't know. She thinks the truth is she likes helping people, makes her feel good. She likes the crazy stories and that she had a reputation at the base, she was starting to be respected. She craved that. And it really started to bore her, the routine. Until Arash. Seeing Arash so frighted and tense was new, he was a calm and polite gentlemen. She saw an invisible string tying his story and his damned pilgrimage book to the mission she knew had failed in the Middle East. Now, it was a little bit of a stretch. So she did her little research, put her Sherlock hat on, lit a cigarette and started digging.

She had fun, until things really started clocking. He was missing his doctor appointments on purpose on specific dates, to go do what? Call someone? She couldn't steal his phone. Send letters? She tried the post office but found out nothing. The bank really did give her his statements, which was pure luck. He had set his personal security questions as his birthday and his mother's name, which she knew, because he told her. She knew everything about him, even his social security number. Arash really trusted her and she had an incredible memory for unnecessary details. Also, he left his wallet on the couch in her office countless times, it’s not that she looked, it was just there and she remembered. When she saw him stressed and fidgety she knew he was hiding something. She kept a straight face, 'Arash, we can really talk about whatever you want, you know' and he would interrupt her 'You don't understand. The urgency!', he continued to say. She really didn't want to tell Price herself, she would have preferred for Laswell to do it. She took extra time in the morning to get ready that day. She was going in a separate area she knew very little about, and nobody knew who she was. Sometimes people mistook her for someone's wife, or daughter. She chose her outfit accordingly, she wanted to seem professional. She wore a sports bra. There was nothing to look at anyways. She didn't put on lipstick, not even the nude one. She was used to being underestimated, and being looked down at. She was also used to raising her voice and presenting herself as stoic and cold. She knew perfectly how to be violence. She noticed a familiar face once she opened the door of the briefing room. A familiar face mask. The skull guy, she had seen him before. Was he the guy…

She could't get distracted. Her little mission went smoothly. She always knew Price liked her and feared her at the same time, and when it came to his little soldier boys, she really didn't care what they thought. The guy from the day of her accident even spoke to her. Poor thing. She was really amused no one told him about the reason why she didn't want to go home alone. He did really good that night, she remembers him well. He didn't try to speak too much, he sounded gentle. A gentle giant. Unfortunately for him, no one was gonna tell him about that day. When she left the room, she went straight home. She doubted someone would ever contact her again about the situation, they would handle it themselves, and probably very badly. She was driving to her ballet lesson, still thinking they all looked so confused by her words. They were probably gonna do a stupid interrogation, or rather do nothing and wait for the next mission to be a shit show. Imbecilli.

'Alright girls, one more time please!' At least she had her little ballerinas to cheer her up. She had them warm up, she usually did the warm up routine with them. She walked between the four rows of kids at the barre, delivering her corrections. Jennifer usually had stiff hands, and she was tense in her shoulders. Kyla had a beautiful turnout but she often confused her arms positions. The jetes routine, they always forgot that one. 'It's three in front and switch… guys I'm not gonna repeat myself'. She thought she sounded rude sometimes, but 13 year old American girls were a nightmare to work with. Last month, she even had to deal with poor Gemma being bullied in the changing rooms. 'I'm gonna say this just once, three in the front, switch to the back.' she liked demonstrating, felt like she was taking lessons herself. 'Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-da. And we're gonna hold here' she lifted herself on her toes and attached her right pointed foot to her knee. She let go of the barre, holding her balance on one foot. 'Passè.' she said. The girls groaned. 'The more you complain the more I'm gonna make you stay like this girls. We're gonna do one minute.' She went to the side of the room, to play the music 'From the top.'

notes: translation of the song: 'Quando sei qui con me' when you're with me, 'Questa stanza non ha più pareti, ma alberi', this room doesn't have walls no more, it has trees.

notes: Alba means something specific!

translation: imbecilli, means imbeciles.

notes: let me know what you think !! <3

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006

[glitterypopcorn]

my parents used to be so busy man. like i'd go to school and then be one of the last people, often the last person, to be picked up at aftercare. my mom would drive me home and id wait 30 minutes to two hours for my dad to come back home. i got home at 6-7 pm.

my dad left for work before i left for school during elementary school and there were days when i'd beg him not to go to work because i knew he'd be gone for so long.

my parents didn't work from home.

we didn't spend enough time together. on the weekends my dad would take me to starbucks to get cake pops and a chocolate croissant for my mom. when i was diagnosed with celiac, i stopped going. what was the point? i cant eat cake pops. they have gluten.

sometimes i tried talking to my mom. a lot of the time my dad told me not to bother her because she's working. i stopped bothering her after a bit.

my dad does most of the household chores. he cooks for everyone. he was often in a bad mood from work and so whenever i annoyed him while he was cooking or doing work at home, he yelled at me. eventually the yelling became mutual and, according to them at the time, i started yelling first.

i spent a lot of time on screens at home. it was the only thing that really entertained me and my parents didn't have the time to stop me.

my temper got worse. i yelled at my dad every day when he woke me up. i still begged him not to leave for work.

then, covid 19 happened.

i spent all my time at home. my skin became very, very pale. my screen usage spiked.

school on zoom was hell. i couldn't focus at all. my dad was in the kitchen, typing on his computer with a very very loud computer. eventually, he moved to the basement because of how distracting it was. whenever my parents would come up or down the stairs to the main floor where i was working, i'd yell at them and they'd yell back. i didn't want to interact with them at all.

i snuck my screens at night so my dad locked them up in a briefcase. that broke eventually, and he resorted to just using the time limit feature on all my devices.

after a while of this, i was diagnosed with adhd, social anxiety, and depression. i can't remember the order.

after quarantine was over, we resumed life as normal. we still wear masks in public to this day because covid is still a thing, obviously, and my mom has an autoimmune issue thingy. we don't want her getting it.

my dad drove me to school. i only had to go to aftercare on fridays, but eventually, the aftercare stopped entirely. my parents tried spending more time with me, but i refused unless they forced me. i would scream and cry every time they made me leave the house for something that wasn't school.

i've gotten better with new meds and all that, but it's still hard.

i get annoyed every time my mom tells me to do something or even just talks to me at all. i text the family group chat very dryly. i keep forgetting to be nice. when i remember, i am literally unable to be. i'm assuming it's my subconscious because my dad used to yell at me so frequently and scared me more than my mom, although when she does yell it's terrifying. that's probably why i get less angry at my dad. but i don't think it's just that because when my dad talks to me i don't feel annoyed at all, whereas my mom talking to me makes me enraged.

i think her voice is a major part. i've encountered like 4 other women who have a similar tone of voice to her when talking to me - my first therapist, my second therapist, a camp counselor, and the woman at that godawful occupational therapy place. won't be talking about that place here . maybe i'll make a post about it later. maybe i already did and i forgot . anyway. i dislike all of those women.

my mom's trying her best.

i feel like how they treated me before covid contributes greatly to how i treat them now. idk. i'm also kinda spoiled and assume i can get what i want because they gave me what i wanted so frequently, and still do a lot of the time.

anyway! i wouldn't call my parents neglectful because i had everything i needed to survive, but still .

/also my mom's mother died when she was 12 and her father was very neglectful, so i think that she's trying to make up for how she used to be and make sure she's not like her father. i'd say she's overbearing, but she really isn't since she barely talks to me so i don't yell as much. it feels that way to me i guess

uhhh idk why they love me i cost them so much and don't tell them anything but :3

[adventuringblind]

The Void: Chapter One

Max Verstappen x reader x Charles Leclerc

Summary: Reader and her brother Michael are hiding from their father. A man with a special ability that she inherited. When Max is in danger one night, she's forced to confront her fear to save him.

Warnings: gore if you squint, monsters?, blood, talks of murder, talks of abuse and neglect

Notes: PLEASE READ THIS! Void walking is my own original idea! I'm writing this as an experimental way of actually seeing how it would work. Please do not copy this idea!

Masterlist

Sometimes, she hates that it's the rich people of the world that could get away with murder. Other times, she remembers that technically, they are the ones who pay her.

Well... they pay her brother. She just exists. Pretending to useful.

Michael had said she needs keep herself as hidden away as possible. Their father would most likely only come looking for her since she inherited his terrible ability.

He'd called it a few things; void walking, reality shifting, hell, the works. The fact she and him can see into a world that's different and yet so similar is terrifying. One moment there is no door then you simply shift realities and then the door is there for you to escape through and people are left to wonder how you just walked through the wall.

The terrible part is that the alternative is terrifying to look at. Like every odd creature and demonic figure has been placed there. Scary monsters from her nightmares and blood spatters from unknown entities.

At fist she didn't know how to control it at all. Somehow ending up in the world where things where constantly trying to kill her. But then she learned that nit all monsters are bad. Some of them do their best to help her and keep her safe or even provide things her father couldn't.

Michael had taken her and ran when he turned eighteen. He promised to start new where they could live freely. She wouldn't say this is very 'free' but it's better then living with her serial killer father.

He'd managed to worm his way into the world of F1. How? She has absolutely no idea. He did his time and moved up the ranks and is now one of the top engineers with Redbull. The garage she spends her time hiding away in.

It's not like she's elusive. She's always orbiting around her brother and helping his out even though she's not being paid.

Michael just lets her help him woth his work because it keeps her busy and out of her head. Well - out if the secondary world she lives in.

Now she finds herself aimlessly reading a book in the Redbull hospitality. Her phone lighting up with Michael's caller ID.

"Hello? You know I'm not that far away right?" She answers sarcastically. The huff in her brothers voice is less then amused.

"Yes, I know, but I need a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"The kind where you bring me something to eat because it's past noon and I'm starving and I'll let you explore the city tonight." He proposes. Hesitant woth the way he says it. Michael rarely lets her go anywhere alone. Monaco seems like the worst place to do so but the thought of escaping his eagle eye for an hour is enough to make her not question it.

"Deal."

~

The walk down would have been swift. Had a certain Dutch driver been paying attention and she wasn't lost in her own thoughts.

Now she's frantically apologizing and he's just looking at her smiling. The stupid smile that makes her melt.

Since her brother is one of Max's highest engineers, she spends a decent amount of time around him. They'd become fast friends since they met.

They were much younger then. She was seventeen and Max was nineteen. Now Max has just turned twenty-three and is on his way to a possible title.

It's been hectic and they'd barely had time to talk as of late. So it's a bit funny that their first conversation they'd had in a couple weeks is her frantically apologizing for running straight into him.

At least she wasn't void walking and ran through him instead. That would've been awkward and hard to explain.

"Why are you apologizing so much?" He chuckles. The action only makes her more flustered.

Her choulders eat her ears in embarrassment. "Just feel bad, I guess."

"I'm assuming you're heading to the garage for your brother?"

"He's getting hangry." She rolls her eyes. Mostly just annoyed that she had to put down her book for this.

Max holds out an arm for her to take. Almost like something out of a medieval romance which does nothing good for her imagination. "Can I walk you then?"

"What's your angle, Verstappen?"

"Can I not just want to spend five minutes with my friend?"

~

That evening Michael makes good on his promise to let her out alone. Max had invited her over to his apartment that night if she had time to spare.

Even offered to meet her halfway. An offer she accepted because she comes to Monaco for one weekend out of the year and has a tendency to get turned around when she doesn't have a set route.

She walks around the dock waiting for him. The moon light bounces off the water as the soft sounds of the water moving about fills her ears. It's peaceful here.

Until it's not.

Shadows are the dominate species in the void. Ghastly figures that could terrify most. And most do terrify her. But not all of them are evil and she's formed a few close bonds with the kind shadows she's met.

Her father's shadows were terrifying to look at and even more terrifying to fight. She thinks this is why as a child, the shadow she effectively called Fang because her small mind saw big fangs and decided upon that, came to her aid. It bore its teeth to protect her and has done so since she was five. Sometimes when she is upset, Fang will shrink into a small soft creature and lay over her lap. Like a really demented looking dog. That doesn't mean Fang isn't cute, just the only comparison she can make.

Now Fang is attempting to get her attention. Something or someone is here and it's not anything good.

She breathes before letting her mind lets her body slip a little into the void. The red sky and dirty water make her want to vomit but the sight of Fang makes it tolerable.

She follows it's lead around the corner and she's grateful the layout of the dock is the same. Aside from it being broken and rusted of course.

The muffled shouts are what takes her off guard. She can now clearly see Max being attacked. By who she has no idea. But the world she grew up in showed her that people do crazy things for no reason other then the high.

"Hey Fang, wanna play fetch?" The shadow looks at her with a glint of excitement. The bare eyes still light up with emotion even if it's hard to see." Just don't kill anyone."

The void deals a lot in energy. If her energy surrounds something enough then she can interact without regardless of how she's seeing it. That, in turn, means Fang also can because of their bond.

The female slips out her pocket knife and walks steadily towards them. Three unknown and a Max. Simple enough.

About 6 meters away, they finally notice her. She can faintly hear Max's muffled shouts through the unknown figure clamping their hand over his mouth.

She throws the knife then shifts again to the void. She just continues walking as Fang snatches it out of the air and land directly of the figure hold max. The knife sinks into their thigh. The shifts back to check the damage and Max is now scrambling to stand up and the knife has disappeared. Still in the void with Fang.

"Let him go unless you want more!" She shouts. Her voice melding with the sound of the water.

They look at each other a debate whether it's worth it. They obviously aren't prepared for a real fight.

She can feel Fang brush against her leg. Another great thing about their bond. Being able to feel the other despite not being shifted.

The three end up running away with their tail between their legs. Then she walks to Max to make sure he's okay.

They hug as soon as their proximity is close. Her head hurts from shifting so much. She doesn't normally do it that much they quickly. Even as she's walking her vision keeps switching between navy blue and deep red.

It switch back to blue and she takes a moment to assess Max. "Are you alright? You're not hurt?"

"No and I definitely owe you one for saving me. But what was that? I mean- how did you...?" He starts to maxplain but doesn't get far as her vision switchs once again. This time revealing something terrifying.

She knows what's going to happen. She'll get stuck between worlds. This power is far from perfect and has a tendency to set somone perfectly inbetween worlds. She can feel and see Max and also the shadow with spindly claws that's approaching her.

It's not a nice shadow and she's pissed it off somehow. Probably just disturbed it.

It's arms reach around Max and it caresses her cheek drawing. It burn as it pierces her skin and draws a line across her cheek.

"Y/N? You okay?" Max is shaking her shoulders to get a response. "You're bleeding now. I watched it appear out of thin air!"

Fang is immediately in protector mode. It's massive teeth and now exponentially larger size then before makes them intimidating.

The two end up in a brawl. She can hear the whispers of other memories and entities in the void. It's never a kind place to end up and she feels for the gentle shadows who endure daily.

She sinks to the ground and clutches her ears. Her attempt at blocking them out is futile. The whispers always make it in. They creep around her skin. They paint out the ugly lies.

Then her body is being jostled. It's a miracle she can even be moved from the outside. Normally she becomes a ghost because she can only be tied to one at a time. Her body only interacting with one even if it's still see in the other.

Being stuck between makes twice as many things in the way. But here in Max's hold she tries to think about how she's safe. She thinks about how his skin is warm and how he smells like citrus and the sun.

~

To say Max is panicked would be an understatment. The girl in his arms keeps getting stuck on things that aren't there and he's about to lose his mind.

Whatever sort of mime work this is needs to stop. She's bleeding and hyperventilating and now her sleeve is torn open.

He needs to get her to his apartment so that they can talk about what's going on. Which is what he would've done if she didn't completely pass out in his arms.

The entire walk back is painful. It's even painful trying to get her to sit down because she's still hitting non-existent objects.

She ends up in the tub. He'll apologize later but right now is not the time. He pulls out the first aid and puts her brother on speaker. He sends a silent prayer that he's still awake.

"Max? Everything okay?" He sounds perfectly ready to take on a five mile sprint. How does he have so much energy after he worked on the car for ten hours straight?

"Actually I have you sister and I think some invisible force is trying to kill her." He realizes how stupid it sounds after he says it. The silence on the other end makes him think Michael is about to die of laughter.

"Is she awake?" His tone completely changes into something serious and Max begins to panic just a little more.

"No, she passed out halfway to my apartment."

"I need you not to panic about anything, okay? Just do as I say and then I'll explain later."

"Okay."

~

Ten minutes. It took him ten minutes to wake her up. Her screams and thrashing from the initial wake up were calmed when she realized it was him. Her brother still on speaker talking her through something.

"Y/N, I need you to relax. Is Fang there?"

"Yes." The crack in her voice hurts him. He'd known her for years now but had never seen her like this.

"Is there something attacking you?"

"Not anymore."

Attacking? Max does his best to hide the shock. Has she been getting attacked by invisible things? For some reason he feels a bit selfish for never noticing it. She noticed everything. Knew Jos was not the greatest person with a single look. She always knew how he was feeling. How had he not been able to reciprocate?

Max shakes himself of his thoughts. Hew needs to be present for her right now.

"You have to shift the balance again. I know it's hard, but I need you to lean into my voice and Max's presence."

Her eyes screw closed in concentration. Max can't help but admire the way she looks when she's concentrated because it's different from how he looks. His is angry and fierce concentration, but hers is almost curious and welcoming.

When her eyes flicker back open she heaves a sigh of relief. Her head twists around as if to fully understand where she is.

"I did it." She almost beams. Max has no idea what she did but he smiles proudly anyway. If only to be supportive of his friend.

He's never liked that word for them. Friend. He needs to get a handle on his thoughts. She almost died and he's thinking about his relationship status. But maybe this is a good thing. Daniel would say it's probably a sign he should Confess. Has told him to do so for a year now.

"So the options now are that I can explain to Max, or you can explain to Max."

She ponders for a moment. Her eyes stare into him like she's assessing something. "I will."

"Do you want me here or do you want to do it alone?"

"I'll be okay."

~

Max stares at her for the fifth time. She'd explained it to him multiple times and answered his questions the best she knows how.

"It's a lot to take in, I'm sorry I'm struggling to understand." He shoots her an apologetic glance.

She just shrugs in return. "To be fair, I don't even completely understand it."

"I'm also sorry about your dad."

"Not like yours is any better. No need to compare, we've both been through things." She smiles him.

They're sat on his bed, limbs sprawled out comfortably. Soft music plays in the background.

"Can I... I want to... follow me?" Max starts speaking with his hands instead and gestures to the balcony attached to his room.

The two step outside. The fresh air is nice after breathing in the ash of the void.

Max faces her. The eye contact is terrifying, but she holds it. She knows it's how he tries to communicate his feelings. "I have a confession." She nods her head to show she's listening. Max's hands tentatively sup her cheeks, but he relaxs when she lets herself lean into it. "I've loved you for a while now. Ever since last year, when you sat with me for hours, consoling me over something stupid."

"It wasn't -"

"Not the point." He shushs. "I'm trying to tell you that my heart hurts thinking you've been hurting all this time and I want to be there for you in a way that I can't as just a friend." He finally confesses.

She stares at him wide eyed but her smile is radiating. "I love you too, Max. I panicked when I saw you pinned down. Couldn't bare the thought of something terrible happening and losing you." She places a hand over his.

It happened so quickly. The feeling of his lips on hers. Then they were gone.

"I'm gonna be there for you now too. No more hiding away from me."

She finds herself getting lost in the blue of his eyes. How could she refuse him such a thing? "I promise."

[red-bat-arse]

Get High, Get Down

Eddie Munson was a year and a half out from surviving his trip into the Upside Down, and overall things couldn't be better. He'd been taking testosterone, loving up on Steve Harrington, and getting orgasms on the regular. So what's the problem?

Was it that he had a harder time crying, that he needed to eat twice as much as he used to, or that he was horny as often as he had his eyes open? No, surprisingly, and all of those things had cooled off a little in time. Was it that even looking at Steve got him hotter than the hood of the Beemer on a summer day? No, what are you crazy?

Actually, if you must know, it was that he couldn't fucking chill out long enough to take dick and that was pretty much the only thing he wanted to do at the moment.

*I wrote an incredibly horny homage to my own hangups being a transsexual man on T navigating sex -and using grass to do it. Pass by if that's not for you! Here's the first third, the full spicy thing is on AO3*

Link

Listen, the thing about being on testosterone, right, is that for the first couple years you're basically re-doing puberty all over again.

This was something Eddie'd been prepared for ever since he first got to talking to the guys in Indianapolis who'd been on hormones one way or another since the sixties and seventies. It had been a bit of a pipe dream for him given he couldn't see a way out of Hawkins long term, but he still wanted to learn what to expect and what to say to his doctor if he ever got that far.

Eddie knew he'd already got a bit of a boon, since Wayne let him shave his head and change his name after dear old dad got locked up when he was eleven. If it'd been anyone else, Eddie likely would've spent the seven years until he hit eighteen miserable and forced into a pretty pink box, whatever he had to say about it be damned. Certainly his mum's side didn't appreciate having a tranny in the family, but they were all assholes anyway and Eddie was happy to wreck any family gathering where his cousins 'she'd' him -and getting banned when he was fifteen was just a bonus. It's not as if Wayne cared.

But yeah, he moved to Hawkins and became Eddie Munson, and he grew into the freak the town knew him as partly because, well, that's who he was, but also to keep any rumours manageable. Who was going to care about him skipping out on gym when all the jocks spread around that he sucked dick behind the bleachers anyway? Who would notice his voice sometimes going high pitched when he was tired when he'd just finished ranting on a lunch table about forced conformity and bullshit American values? Not the idiots at Hawkins High, anyway.

And everyone was too busy trying to hunt him down and kill him to look into his records before moving in with Wayne -not that any survived the jumping around Al Munson did for the three years he went off the rails once mum died.

So it was a scare, really, when one Sam Owens shuffled into his hospital room a few weeks after everything went down with enough paperwork to put a cramp in Eddie's wrist and a quiet question about the reason his records didn't match his body. The guy pretty quickly backtracked when Eddie's heart monitor spiked through the roof, and reassured him he didn't mean any harm -far from it. He rambled on about proper treatment and government doctors and medical records for a bit, before Eddie cut him off and asked him to spell it out for him before he yelled for one of those said doctors to come and escort him out.

Well, turns out in the matter of replacing the few IDs him and Wayne had that were lost with half the trailer, it came up that the doctors who were overseeing him noticed he didn't exactly have a dick as claimed. Ok, Owens didn't say it like that, but you get the idea. So he was here to figure out what was going on, whether someone was massively messing up on their examination logs, and how to fix it in the quietest, smoothest way possible.

"Well I'm a guy, so jot that down," Eddie said, frankly exhausted, and luckily Owens seemed able to read the room.

Owens talked more about what he'd researched after speaking with Wayne and jumping to some conclusions, a group he'd called out of SanFran that had information on FTM experiences and the few medical advances for them in recent years, and it was all very interesting, really. Eddie didn't even feel weird about confirming it, though he'd never actually called himself transsexual out loud to anyone, and it was a little annoying how Owens nodded along as if he hadn't said anything noteworthy. He was wondering again what the point of it all was when Owens brought out a new folder, much slimmer, and pushed it towards Eddie with a funny little smile on his face.

And just like that, all Eddie's IDs said male on them, and he was set up on a testosterone prescription from an actual real life doctor and pharmacy -apparently natural guys got prescribed shots like that on the regular, who knew? Eddie hadn't ever thought he'd be able to get a doctor to sign off on it, let alone afford it, but all of The Party were being taken care of for the next five years at least, and got handouts besides, so he had time to figure it out.

As mentioned, this all meant that from the summer of 1986 through to New Year's Eve 1987, Eddie'd basically been putting himself through a second, much more wonky and unpredictable puberty. It had it's upsides. He didn't have to pay attention to keeping his voice low, he got a bit of bristly scruff as opposed to faking it with mascara, and even his muscles seemed to shift and sit differently. It was great and if Owens hadn't been part of such a shitty operation Eddie might've sent him a Christmas card over it, he was so thankful.

Of course, there were some drawbacks. He didn't cry as often, needed to eat twice as much, had to buy better deodorant and body wash, to name a few. Oh, and also, he was out of his mind horny with alarming consistency.

Eddie definitely didn't remember Jeff, Toby or Gareth complaining about this shit, although to be fair as a friend group they hadn't ever really talked crushes or embarrassing bodily functions much. He supposed he expected it to some degree, but it was kind of a lot and he didn't exactly have a threshold for normal FTM second puberty milestones here. He wasn't exactly complaining, mind you, because by virtue of gaining his little clit-dick, he was experiencing more orgasms in the average week than he used to give himself in a couple months. It was hard to complain about anything that made him feel that good with little to no drawbacks.

Well, no drawbacks now that he was approaching the two year mark and his libido was cooling off a smidge. No longer was he in danger of an ill-advisedly tight pair of jeans leading him to lock himself in the employee bathroom while on the clock so he could get himself off at lightning speed to work without being distracted -hypothetically, right, that was definitely just a completely made up scenario, one he for sure didn't have to worry about anymore. Again, having a dick was awesome.

So yes, he was horny on the regular. It had cooled off a bit, but he still comfortably got himself off around once a day, more if something set him off thinking dirty thoughts and he had the time to spare. That was preferable to any imagined, totally not even plausible bathroom incidents he definitely didn't need to think about. It would've even been manageable, truly, if not for one small, teeny, tiny, extra little facet of Eddie's journey going through all this after the shitshow that was March '86.

That being that he and one Steve Harrington -of the Loch Nora Harringtons, lately lapsed in residence to the house where Eddie had once sold his wares of grass and grog -were, as of late October, an item. Attached. Going steady. Courting one another in a manner of chaste companionship, if you will.

Was this what Eddie was complaining about? Absolutely not and if anyone implied such a thing Eddie had words prepared for them detailing just how abysmally wrong they were about it. He could barely believe it himself, but he knew a good thing when he saw one and wasn't about to let it go easily. Ever since the anniversary of Vecna's defeat when Hopper hosted The Party out at his cabin and Eddie and Steve ended up pressed together by the fire, the last two awake, too drunk by far, but not drunk enough to stop Eddie from crying into Steve's shoulder, they'd been circling each other. It took a bit, granted, since Eddie was nothing if not self-sabotaging when it came to crushes, but Steve had been braver than him and ended an elaborate series of near kisses that drove Eddie up a wall with a perfect one planted on him in the front room of the trailer after dinner.

It was bliss, a small town gay like Eddie landing a guy as sweet and protective and bitchy as Steve. And even more than that, Steve seemed to be just as infatuated as Eddie was; he'd liked to touch and be nearby when they were friends, but adding romance dialed it up to another level. An arm around his waist, a leg over his thighs, fingers on his wrist or bumping hips, Steve loved being close and Eddie wasn't used to it, but it was fast becoming his favourite thing. Figuring out that Steve loved getting pet-named and blushed to high heaven whenever Eddie complimented him was icing on the cake. Give him the whole box, really.

So what was the problem?

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hai ariiiiii :3 guess whos SICK . me . im sick

ANYWAY thinking abt sugubooboo taking care of u while sick ,,,,,,,,

u kno when u get that feeling ur gonna b sick in the morning the night b4 it all hits ? i think sugu picks up on that after u blow ur nose one 2 many times n he asks if ur okay

ur not. obviously . so he heats up some nice peppermint tea, and something my mom does when im sick is take some honey, mix it w ginger powder + some other stuff thats good 4 ur throat and make me eat a spoonful of it [its gross as HELLLL i hate it but i feel a lil better afterwards] then tucks u in2 bed [later after uve fallen asleep he calls out of work for tomorrow, he REFUSES to leave u alone + sick]

the next morning ur properly Sick and suguru wakes u up w breakfast in bed, all warm foods infused with clove, mint, ginger, and sets a few packs of tissues next 2 the bed

after uve eaten he lays in bed w u 4 a bit, kissing your head and fiddling w ur hands. eventually u ask abt work, he said he called out 4 both u n him.

he trusts u 2 take a shower on ur own, but when u get out hes holding a towel and wraps u in it immediately then just hovers around u as u do ur morning routine, making sure youre okay n not abt 2 like . pass out or smthn

once ur dressed and fully cocooned in the bed once again, suguru pours out some cold medicine 4 u and hands u water once that NASTY liquid slides down ur throat. he gives u a lil candy as a palate cleanser tho, hes not mean

i think after that u just fall in and out of sleep 4 teh rest of the day until u get hungry again or need another dose of medicine. sometimes u wake up 2 suguru humming and playing w ur hair while he reads a book, sometimes he joins u and takes a nap w u. the only time u wake up alone is when its lunch or dinner n hes in the kitchen making smthn spicy 2 open ur sinuses

everytime u take a dose of medicine, he kisses you on the lips then pushes a glass of water in one hand n some candy in the other. hed probably mumble 'good job' or smthn like that in2 the top of ur head as he cuddles u while ur trying 2 get the taste out of ur mouth

he does NOT care if u sneeze n get snot all over him, puke on him if u have a stomach bug, cough in his face, or r generally disheveled. u could never disgust him.

if its sunny out, hell offer 2 take u outside just 4 a lil bit. if u dont think u can walk hes gonna pick u up. no complaining u NEED that sun, hell argue while sliding the patio door open

youll sit out 4 a bit, soaking up the sunshine then when u want 2 go back 2 bed hell carry u back and gently tuck u in2 bed

if ur 2 weak 2 even blow ur nose, hes holding the tissue 2 ur nose n waiting 4 u 2 blow. the chapstick might b all the way across the room n ur savior ends up being suguru and his long legs. the temp in the house is 2 hot? hes turning the a/c down and all the fans r coming 2 ur room bcuz he knows how slow the heating n cooling takes 2 change.

also everytime he walks in2 the room, hes asking how r u? do u need anything? does anything hurt too much? and he probably has smthn 4 u 2 do so ur not on ur phone all day [guess . guess who was on their phone all day . ME]

at the very end of the day, hes got u curled up in his lap on the bed, INCREDIBLY comfortable, and theres some movie on the tv in the bedroom. like juno or some other feel good indie movie. sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries. since its past dinner time, he gives u lil candied ginger pieces 2 help w ur throat n other snacks 2 go w the movie.

eventually u fall asleep in his arms in the middle of the movie, smothered in warmth on all sides.

OKAY . WOW . moving on, HOW WAS UR DAY ARI ??? tell me abt that book ur reading rn !! u seem very enthusiastic abt it, id luv 2 know y ^_^ ! [personally my day was . ouchie . and ive got a book abt decolonialism checked out from the library rn :3]

ASHLEY !!!!!!!!! i’m answering this kinda late i hope your cold is gone by now 😔😔😔

BUT . GODDDDDDDDDD ARE YOU OUT TO KILL ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BE HONEST . how did you know sugu sickfics are my greatest weakness………… (i actually have . a whole fic just like this that i wrote a year ago or so 😭😭 YOU MADE ME WANNA GO BACK N READ IT HHHH this is very bad for my weak suguloving heart….) I’M JUST. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAYY. you keep serving me meals on a silver platter n i’m just?!?!! eating gratefully …. thank you……

NO BC YOU’RE SOOOOO RIGHT YOU’RE SO OBJECTIVELY CORRECT :((((((( HE’S. THE SWEETEST. the best bf around !!!!!! he’s so good at caring for you when you’re sick…. sniffle……. AND OFCCCC HE’D PICK UP ON IT INSTANTLY TOO. his sixth sense is so crazy accurate when it comes to his baby </33333 and wahhh him making you tea and tucking you in and calling in sick for you 🥺🥺🥺 he just wants you to feel better……

WAKING YOU UP . W BREAKFAST IN BED. WHAT IF I CRYYYYY THIS CONCEPT IS SO DEAR TO MY HEART ASHLEY ….. and him just. hovering around you. i feel like he would stand outside the bathroom while you shower just in case you were to fall over or smth…….. he’s so caring :(((( and wrapping you up in a towel…… cocooning you into bed. sniffle. i need him to baby me sooooo bad it’s not a want it’s a need …… he rlly would stay by your side the Whole time………… cooks for you and tends to you and makes sure you’re okay . he’s so good. i feel like he kind of really loves it too….. he doesn’t love that you’re sick BUT . he loves being allowed to take care of you :’3 loves making you feel better.

ALSOOO him kissing you and praising you whenever you take your medicine T_T oughhhhhhhh one kiss on the forehead + ”good girl/boy” from him and i would be OUT like a light. collapsed. fainted. he would be so good at coaxing you into taking it ……… ANDDDDD the part abt you never disgusting him. SO true. you could never ever disgust him he just wants you to be okay…….. forcing you out into the sunlight………… asking if you need anything……………. making sure you aren’t bored…………………. ohhhhh he’s 2 perfect we need to put him down.

sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries.

AND THEN . YOU TOP IT OFF WITH THIS. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ THIS MADE ME MELT….. i’m so…………. i have so many thoughts abt this. sugu would LOVE a clingy s/o but i keep specifically thinking of him w an s/o who’s shy w physical affection.,,,, and how he’d react when they get sick and suddenly get all cuddly . 🥺 he would love it so much. kisses you all over and holds you soooo tight and he’s just!!!!! so enamored!!!!!!!!! you’re like a lil koala. he loves you. sob.

WAHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ABSOLUTE MEAL MY BELOVED i’m not exaggerating btw this is gonna feed my sugu thoughts for weeks to come…… AND MY DAY WAS GOOD!!!! i’m sorry to hear your day was ouchie </3 i hope it’s all better now!!! pls make sure to rest and eat properly <33 it’s what sugu would want for you!!!!!

AND . THE BOOK. YES. it’s called giovanni’s room by james baldwin and it’s sooooo <33333 yeah. it’s so good. i LOVE baldwin’s prose so much??????? and the story is just . AUGH. i’m still not finished but i’m so obsessed. it’s basically abt a closeted guy in like … the 1800s-1900s? who goes on vacation in paris while his girlfriend is in spain. and he meets this rlly mysterious charming italan barman called giovanni……….. the book is abt their relationship + their own experiences w homosexuality + their tragic ending (it’s revealed at the very beginning of the book that giovanni will meet his end by the guillotine)…..

so it’s just . yeah. it’s such a gorgeous book :’3 and just so . idk. raw? visceral?? i love giovanni a lot. and more than anything i loves james baldwin <333 i’m planning to buy another of his books too!!!! it’s called tell me how long the train’s been gone :3 I RLLY RECOMMEND BOTH OF THEM!!! i hope the book you just got ends up being good too <33

[hiemaldesirae]

Question: how would your characterization of demon Alastor react to finding out for the last 60+ years that what he thought was Vox breaking up with him was actually Demon!Valentino drugging/r**ping him with his venom/aphrodisiac and Vox has No memory of what he and Alastor actually had? No memory of anything except maybe the last month? And to find out Valentino only did this so Vox (who was becoming a TV mogul) would put his pornos on the tv. How would he help Vox remember? What would he do to Valentino? Would Velvette also suffer?

okay so. nonny, i wont blame you for not knowing, especially since ive never explicitly talked about it on main, but for future reference, im not that big on the whole abusive staticmoth dynamic. i can see why others enjoy it, and i do read stories with it from time to time simply because the premise captivates me that much, but in general id say i much more prefer a version where val and vox are at the very least best friends if not crossing into the sort of blurry best friends who smooch sometimes territory.

now having said that, i'll still answer your question because again, not very fair of me to just brush you off for no reason when i never made my preferences clear beforehand. (this gets long, so i'll leave a readmore.) warning: my demon radiostatics are always freak4freak no matter what. so this does get a little iffy in terms of ethics

my favourite interpretation of radiostatic is two sickos who are just as closely obsessed with each other, so in the unlikely case that al would let vox go for that long, when he realizes again the first thing he's going to do is go and. well. for lack of a better term, atticwife him (i hope to god this isn't just a term used in east asian fandoms because if i have to explain this ill eat lead). maybe after a little bit of time, he'll allow vox some liberties, but even then it'd be very little. ill put it this way- imagine the most toxic irl relationship you can: someone who tracks and micromanages their partners every move, barely lets them outside the house without going with them, monitors every friendship that they allow their partner to have, and there you have it. thats radiostatic! ah, young love. so sweet, dont you think? after all, alastor can't risk his muse's eyes slipping off him again. he's been deprived of that attention for far too long, and it wasn't even by his own doing! that's an offense in and of itself.

now im assuming that its only val who's doing the exploitation here so presumably vel would have no hand in any of the mess, and perhaps not even be fully aware of the nuances behind the scenes. i mean, it wouldn't really matter either way because once alastor finds out the reason why his other half hasnt been reciprocating their insane little song and dance he's getting rid of any and all obstacles, permanently. vox doesnt need anyone else so long as he has him- and hey, he was friends with him, rosie and husk first, so its not even as if its much of a loss. the only people he'd presumably leave alive would be voxs own contracted souls, and even then thats a bit of a gamble depending on just how bad i want the both of them to be: without his contracted souls, vox would be weaker and more susceptible to whatever alastor wants, so i guess its a matter of whether or not i want the freak4freak relationship where theyre both equally strong but vox willingly submits because he gets more thrill out of it that way or whether i want freak4freak where vox has to struggle way harder and still ends up giving in anyway because al is simply stronger

as for what he'd actually *do* to val. i mean. he does still have that radio broadcast of his, doesn't he? i think you can probably put the pieces together. the thing with animal sinners is that theres simply so many parts of them to break... show-wise, i never understood how overlords like alastor or val could even rise to their position, with the amount of weak spots they must have. that broken antenna vox and val share is certainly something that speaks to their higher vulnerability. and moth wings are especially fragile: i owned little silkworm moths at one point (they were my babies, i loved them for the month or so i got to care for them) but their wings were so thin they were wearing holes in them by the second or third day. val's coat-wings look much thicker in comparison, but of course, my perception is limited by the show only. so i mean, who knows? im sure whatever happens, itll make the best entertainment in al's eyes :)

[birdiesbirdies]

hiiii hi this is for the oc ask post & ohhh i want a little bit to ask all of them but i can shorten it down i think to stature and general outfit/armour if u want also id love 2 know about this for harrison 4 but also if theres anything else u really want to do thats awesome too i love to see

HELOO and welcome to my Harrison 4 PowerPoint.. I think first off she is a Big Person not necessarily a basketballer situation but just. You see her and it looks like an averaged sized person if you scaled them up in all dimensions a little. Less of an oh shit a giant and more of a in pictures she always makes everyone look really small.

Sadly I think she’s a fan of graphic tees she has a million of them and they all say shit like I flexed so hard thr sleeves fell off or eat sleep kill repeat. Usually wears a jumpsuit w the top half tied around her waist for maximum portable storage (mostly explosives. But sometimes for fun trinkets she finds on the ground). Usually has a drone or two following her around as well both for emotional support and to try to assassinate her & keep her on her toes.

As for her armor I interpreted it as more of her Battle Gear scenario.. headphones + Bluetooth sunglasses so she’s got a portable HUD and a direct line to her beautiful butler… pinstripe suit… cravat… bulletproof vest with her initials hand embroidered on.. and yes she does move her hormone patch as well so it’s poking out of the cravat a little it’s important to her.. she likes to lean on the cables and wires while piloting too because she feels like it gives her better feedback on her mech..

[trickstarbrave]

more voryn reincarnation au stuff....

gonna be honest this was supposed to just be weird cult talks but it quickly went down the route of talking about corprus and then.... yeah. uh.

no actual SA happens but if that particularly triggers you very easily id like to give a heads up. bits and pieces of dagoth ur are still kicking it seems. but nothing goes too far.

Voryn adjusted better than he had expected. 

In all honesty he expected his paranoia to be a lot stronger. He was with the hortator, after all. The mer said to be his enemy, who the matron of the cult told him terrifying stories of. Yet, the longer he found himself in Nerevar’s presence, the harder he found it to be scared of him. 

Nerevar was kind. Gentle. Patient. Caring. Perhaps Voryn was a fool and was simply playing right into his hands, but he found it hard to doubt him when all of his actions were in line with his words. Meanwhile the cult gave him kind words and praise only to turn around and offer him pain. 

He was lying in bed reading one of the many books Nerevar brought him when the other mer walked in with a tray of food. 

“Nerevar, you don’t need to bring it every time.” Voryn chuckled softly, moving to stand up. He was sometimes a bit unsteady on his feet still, but he was getting stronger through recovery. 

“Mm, you’re right.” Nerevar laughed in return. “I just like having an excuse to come see you.” 

“You shouldn’t neglect your duties, Nerevar.” Nerevar held out the chair for him and when Voryn sat down pushed it in for him as well. 

“I’m not, honest.” Nerevar’s eyes were shining as always, a look gleaming in them Voryn couldn’t put into words, but it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. “In fact I still think I’m working far too much, even in my breaks to come see you.” 

Voryn didn’t like that either though. He’d been trying to ignore it, but it wasn’t a mystery when his room was so close to the hortator’s that Nerevar was often up late looking over a variety of things at his desk into the early hours of the morning. 

“Don’t work too hard, Nerevar.” Voryn’s brow creased in worry just thinking about it, but afraid of overstepping his boundaries. In all honesty every night he heard the hortator was once again at his desk, he wanted to go into Nerevar’s room and scold him, but then quickly talked himself out of it. He was a guest here in the temple, brought in by Nerevar himself. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his benefactor. Yet he still had to actively fight his instinct to do so. 

“I’m not. Don’t worry about it, alright?” Nerevar reassured him. “In the meantime…” Nerevar took the lid off the tray he brought in. “The healers approved you eating more tough foods. They said some meat would do you good.” Nerevar looked happy as could be saying that. “Pretty soon I’ll be allowed to bring you all kinds of food for you to try and see what you like.” 

Voryn looked at the meat, confused. 

“... Why is it brown?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Hm?” Nerevar asked, looking at the meat and then back at Voryn. “Have you never had guar before? It’s like most other meat… Or were you raised without any meat?” 

Voryn shook his head. “No, I’ve had meat before, including guar.” He poked it with his fork, seeing it didn’t bleed red either. “It’s just… All of the meat I had was tough and red. Except for scrib, of course.” 

Nerevar’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Red and tough…?” 

“Well, not always tough. Sometimes it was rather soft, but always messy and not very… Pleasant to eat.” 

“Voryn,” Nerevar’s voice was stern, a heavy look of concern on his face. “Were they feeding you raw meat?” 

“Why would it be cooked?” Voryn looked confused by that, only horrifying Nerevar more. 

“Voryn that’s--” Nerevar seemed at a loss for words, his mouth opening and closing helplessly. “That’s not healthy! You could have gotten seriously sick from eating that!” He grit his teeth, clearly trying to keep his anger in so as to not scare Voryn, but strangely Voryn wasn’t scared by Nerevar’s anger, just confused as to why he was that upset. “That must have been disgusting to eat--what in oblivion could their rationale have been?” 

“They said Dagoth Ur was closer in kin to the ash vampires so--” 

“The ash vampires didn’t drink blood!” Nerevar insisted. “That was just a name the ordinators gave them when fighting them. House Dagoth never supported vampirism.” 

“They also said I should adjust to the taste of flesh as…” Voryn looked a bit nauseous at this part, his appetite quickly vanishing. “... They said when I mantled Dagoth Ur I was to eat corprus flesh--”

“No,” Nerevar looked equally nauseous. “Dear gods, that’s revolting…” He covered his mouth and closed his eyes. “I see they really are remnants of the Sixth House Cult… I thought I got rid of all of them ages ago…” 

“Was that common?” Voryn looked disgruntled. 

“They had corprus infected meat all over their strongholds and bases.” Nerevar still couldn’t open his eyes. “The smell was revolting, not even mentioning the taste--” 

“You ate it?!” Even Voryn found the idea revolting after looking at the lumbering beasts. 

“I didn’t have a choice.” Nerevar glared back. “I was held down by cultists as they shoved it down my throat.” Voryn looked even more mortified.

“Why--”

“To infect me with corprus.” Nerevar answered quickly, trying to avoid thinking about the encounter. 

“... You had corprus?” Voryn asked cautiously. 

At his question, Nerevar sighed.

“I still have it, Voryn.” He looked away. “There is no cure for it, only ways to stop the worst side effects. It stopped spreading after Dagoth Ur was defeated, but it never goes away.” 

“... I can remove it.” Voryn answered, his voice soft. Nerevar looked at him with uncertainty in his eyes. “Really, I-I can. I’ve done it before.” Voryn began to explain. “There was… When I was a teenager there was a corprus zombie that begged me for death. Begged me to let them stop dreaming so I… Removed it.” He could still remember vividly how painful the lashes were afterwards. It was his first time being beaten so severely, and he’d never forget it. “I was whipped for it severely, given that those infected with corprus are rare now after the eruption...” 

“You can just… Remove it?” 

“Yes.” Voryn replied. “The other infected would listen to my call, acting as though I was Dagoth Ur. I-I never learned how to spread the disease, nor did I ever want to, but I can retract it.” Voryn touched Nerevar’s arm hesitantly, and when Nerevar didn’t pull away, Voryn let it rest there comfortably, his thumb stroking the bracer he wore. “Would you like for me to try and remove it for you as well?” 

Nerevar thought the question over, his fingers drumming on the table in contemplation. 

“... Alright.” He answered. “Only if it doesn’t cause you any harm to you, then you can certainly try.” 

“Here,” Voryn reached his hand out, touching Nerevar’s breastplate. “It would be easier without this on. I need to be as close to your heart as possible.” Without hesitation Nerevar began unstrapping the armor, removing it to set it carefully on the floor. It was at that moment Voryn realized the extent of how much Nerevar trusted him--he was the incarnation of Dagoth Ur, about to try and use the corprus disease he was still infected with, and he still willingly took off his armor and left himself vulnerable. 

He pushed his hand forward to the blue robes Nerevar wore, right over his breast bone. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he felt the steady heartbeat under his palm. Another breath, as he continued focusing, waiting to find that supernatural pull. Then, just as he felt it, like a stray thread in a tapestry waiting to be pulled, a loud voice entered his mind.

“He’s mine.” The voice boomed. Ice ran through his veins as instead power sparked at his fingertips and Nerevar made a sharp sound of pain. He went to pull away his hand, frightened by what he felt, only for Nerevar to grab his wrist. 

“Nerevar--” He began, about to apologize for whatever that was, only to see something equally frightening when he turned back to the hortator. 

Nerevar’s expression was blank, unlike the pain Voryn expected to find based on the cry of pain he gave just a moment prior. And his eyes were not the stunning sky blue he was used to.

They were blood red, staring up at him. 

“Nere--” His questioning was cut off as Nerevar tugged him forward, grip like steel on his wrist as his other hand grabbed Voryn by the back of his head, dragging him down into a searing kiss. 

It was rough, more teeth than lips. Completely unlike most of the kisses he had in his dreams with Nerevar. There was something primal in it, a hunger that nearly terrified him, as the voice continued in Voryn’s mind. 

“My Moon-and-Star,” The voice continued, as Nerevar dove his tongue past Voryn’s surprised lips, his eyes still open and staring back at Voryn’s, an unnatural red glow in them. “Ready to be taken by me.” Voryn began sweating as he tried to pull away, but Nerevar’s grip was tight, impossible to move with his strength, to the point it actually hurt to struggle. “In my flesh, and of my flesh.” The voice then laughed as Nerevar strained to press himself even closer to Voryn, his red eyes fluttering shut as though on command. 

“Take him.” The voice urged Voryn. “Take him, show him pleasure only we can give him.” Voryn struggled harder as he felt Nerevar’s hips press against his own, Nerevar now sitting in his lap. “He’s willing and waiting for us, begging for us. So take him. Give him what he needs.”

Voryn roughly pushed Nerevar back, but with the tight grip on Voryn the two were sent tumbling on the floor, Nerevar’s head knocking against the tile. He broke the kiss with a groan, his grip growing slack enough for Voryn to pull himself away and scramble off the hortator. When Nerevar blinked, his eyes were blue again, as he sat up shaking his head. 

When he looked back, Voryn was sitting terrified on the floor, covering his mouth and trembling. What just happened seemed to sink in for the hortator as well, as his face went pale. 

“Voryn I am so sorry--” He moved over to help him up, only to stop, afraid of touching the other in case it upset him. “I-I don’t know what that was--” 

Voryn believed him. He knew that wasn’t Nerevar’s doing. It wasn’t what Nerevar wanted. He knew that wasn’t the way Nerevar kissed him, even at his most desperate. 

“I’m sorry…” Voryn whispered out, unable to meet Nerevar’s eyes, covering his mouth slightly. There were bruises on it from Nerevar’s teeth, an ache reminding him what transpired. 

“It’s not your fault.” Nerevar tried to reassure him. “It’s--”

“Dagoth Ur was doing it.” Voryn answered. “He… He was commanding you, through me. It is my fault--” 

“It’s not your fault, you had no idea that would happen.” Nerevar took his hand tightly. “Come here, you shouldn’t be sitting on the ground while you’re recovering…” Nerevar scooped him up with ease, carrying him back to his bed. 

“Rest here. You can eat when you feel comfortable.” With that, Nerevar turned sharply on his heel to the door. 

“W-wait--” Voryn called out, “Nerevar--!” 

But the hortator was already out the door, shutting it behind him and running through the hall, far from him.

[ruthlesslistener]

hey sorry if this is random and/or weird, but i’ve finally started following you after a while of snooping, and I looove that you post about Creatures. Like, you’re really cool and when I discovered you and your new snake on the snakevid blog, it was the huge push I needed last year to finally get my dream pet, a pied ball python. from there a rescued another of my now favorite pets and my special interests in reptiles has flourished. my life has been so much better with him in it :) and it was partially thanks to you, so thank you for being so cool and Snake posting!

[ID: Two photos of a pied ball python. In one he is curled up in sunny grass outside. In the other, he is laying half in his bioactive enclosure with his head on a leaf pile. End ID]

!!!!! OH MY GOSH HE LOOKS JUST LIKE JUNIPER. OH MY GOSH THATS PURE BABY RIGHT THERE

It is never weird or random to show me cute creatures! I get pretty much all my seratonin from animals so I will always welcome pictures of the lil guys, especially if they're snakes or birds. I'm so glad that me getting Juniper was what convinced you to finally get your little man, as she's enriched my life tremendously as he has done with yours. Just last night she was so enthusiastic about her dinner that she got herself stuck upside-down under her hide trying to eat it, then deathrolled it under her substrate and started looking all over her enclosure for it, so I had to take it out, rinse it, and reheat it again. It was a bit of a hassle but I don't think I've laughed so hard all week. Snakes are such silly, inquisitive little creatures and they bring so much joy for such a shy animal (she did eat btw, but not before spending five minutes trying to eat it from the shoulder after I re-offered it. Sometimes I wonder how these animals survive in the wild).

How old is he, btw? I'm planning on moving Juniper up to a bioactive enclosure once she's full-grown + I'm in more secure housing, but since she's only about a year and 4 months, I expect her to do some more growing still. Your handsome little man looks roughly the same age as her based on girth and colour, but snakes are hard to judge and I'm curious about how their colour will shift as they age

[vampirevatican]

🏫 First day(s) of School w/ Zen

Kindergarten

teaches the baby their parents names and home address

ofc you're there to pick up the baby but just incase

definitely teaches the little one stranger danger

if we're talking albino baby? if his genes passed down?? he's reminding them everyday that it's okay if they think people are weird for wanting to touch them or take videos.

that no matter how old, big or little they are they're allowed to say no if it makes them uncomfortable

probably teaches them a better signal for no, like crossing their arms in an x over themselves or their hair and shouting no

or if they're okay with a friend doing it just not at that current time to hold out a hand like 'stop' and tell them "not right now" or "ask first, please"

very well mannered baby, so gosh darn adorable

definitely has baby drip. their dad is an actor and ofc he'd spoil the baby

when sending them off he holds back tearing up and getting all emotional but as soon as you're both in the car? he's a blubbering, sniffling mess.

"Zenny," your voice sweet to his ears as you reassure him. "Our baby is gonna be okay, I promise. If anything goes wrong we can turn right back around and pick them up." He sniffles, wiping away tears as he lets your words try to settle in and take effect. "Are you sure? You promise?" Glancing over at him, before stopping at a red light, you nodded and reached a hand out to wipe away tear. "I promise" He took your hand and kissed the back of it.

Middle school

School shopping. supplies, clothes, etc. sure it happened a little for kindergarten but that was simpler

Being a bit older now and coming into their kid hood and preteens now, they want specific school supplies merch and accessories

I feel like if it was a private school then the kid would customize tf out of that uniform

Now what style? if they wanted to be rebellious like their dad?? then maybe they'd try to tear up stockings or layer some ripped up ones over those. maybe wear certain stud earrings, try dying their hair.

A public school? I think would be better in them getting to express themselves just a little bit more.

Definitely makes friends and sometimes invites them over

Highschool

Oh. God. the drama. the angst. the emotions.

You're definitely their to help them out but so is Zen

Ya know that line where he's like when life gets hard just think of it like a rehearsal or you're playing a role? Yeah he passed that to his kid

When he can be home he's there to listen to their problems, ofc being pretty opinionated and on his kid's side but you're there to be a neutral third party for when the issue really needs it

Again, personality and style shining through, so their hair is definitely dyed by now and has seen many did styles

A fashion icon? maybe. personally id say yes bc you can't tell me that Zen doesn't spoil his kid.

College

Zen finally tears up again. He was fine with middle and highschool, or maybe he was focused on the present more. Either way he's sobbing again.

You try to help with move in but he of course only has you do light lifting or wheeling something in but that's it

Before leaving you guys get groceries with your kid, pack them away, then go out to eat and come back to the dorm room.

Zen is just looking around, taking it in while you're a little bit more doting this time around.

When y'all leave he's not a whole mess of waterworks. Although he does just goes on and on about the memories. Their first steps, words, foods, friends. Ending with how proud and happy he is to see y'all's kid get to where they are now.

Zen could barely hear you and your child. 'Our child, our baby...' is all he thought as he looked around the room, a smile creeping upon his face and tears threatening to fall. "Oh goodness, zenny, we'll see them again." You addressing him pulls him out of his thoughts a little but what fully brought him down to earth was his now grown up kid almost tackling him in a tight hug. Zen looked surprised but hugged them back and you just crossed your arms letting out a small laugh.

[kiiamn]

Species Idea: apple people!

They start out life as a normal apple (with a face..) that falls from a tree,

but as they move through life, cuts begin to form on the inside, ones that connect to the environment, their pressures and whatnot, which cumulate into carving out a full person on the inside.

and once the person is fully carved, they'll cut up the skin of their apple from the inside, do what they want with it (usually like. clothes, stitched together with bark/wood from the tree)

ex:

this person is what i imagine to be the default guy for apple people (...maybe i want a cooler name), except they probably more elaborate clothes n stuff than i was willing to draw

how your flesh comes out carved is determined entirely by your environment, but what you do with your skin is up to you.

but theres more you can do! you can still carve yourself, alter everything if you want with knives n stuff

it hurts about as much as carving yourself up does, and more importantly, you loose a bit of meterial

apple people are nominally immortal, but they inevitably carve themselves to death

most live dozens of human lifespans, but staying in one form becomes torture, sometimes in obvious, visual ways, like bruises that need to be cut out, or the browning of apples as it's exposed to air, and sometimes its less apparent, more personal or internalised.

you can theoretically make peace with yourself and live forever. the freaks with the strongest conviction, greatest skill, or some sort of fixation do that, and end up in positions of athorithy and power because vampire logic

i would imagine that theres a social stigma for both waiting too long to carve yourself and carving yourself too quickly, (although anything is permissable for the amazing people in power who run everything and never carve themselves...)

hmm, i wonder what they would do with diet... vegetarian? is that cannibalism.. do they drink sap from their tree? meat a tearian... eat the sun!!!!

types of people would be:

people who need to tear themselves apart to force themselves into a better form for a job or some other traumatizing environment

people who have clothes that dont match their flesh... in the beginning its a dissonance between what people carved you into and how you wish to be, but later its a dissonance between who you made yourself into and how you want people to see you

people with unequal acces to ways to carve themselves, good quality knives are hard to find.

non humanoids

people who show a lot more/less skin (...skin is clothes... thats. hmm)

people with no seeds/leaf/skin/etc. maybe they're hidden or whatever

people who just stay in the apple stage forever

id imagine theres so many "apple of my eye", jokes when they talk to/date humans

[zak-shit]

sweet life

today is still messy. but better than the last few....? i haven't truly been great with eating again. kinda not having regular meals unless I'm with lo.. even then i kind of have to force myself. which isn't good i know.

last night she came up with a new rule to only have hook ups if she's able to make content out of it, and also be into it. doesn't want to just get people off. which makes me feel much better. I'm glad she doesn't just want to get other off. and i defiantly want her to be into it. it being done for content as a priority, makes me feel much less disregarded, and comfortable with the situation.

she did kind of ask if she could top if it was for content, to which i most defiantly did not like and shut down. 100% not ready for that. and the fact that it was asked/ wanted from her kind of hurt. and overshadowed the development above. she did say she hasn't came across anyone else she wants to top. very glad to hear that, and i would hope not. i guess it just also threw me off, because I was having this feeling apart of her no longer wanted to be a top. which could still have truth in there in some ways. I feel like im being generous allowing her to get head from others if she wanted. bc of course I want to be the only one, but i still want her to defiantly get pleasure as well.

all this waiting for more just gets me sometimes, sometimes im great and am able to accept, be satisfied with what we have. she's just not super affectionate, still loves me very much. i just get in my head, and wonder if i was someone else, if they would get more affection... sometimes I think its really just me. i can also admit, that I too am awkward and could probably make some more moves, i just don't get a read that she wants it.. and i feel like trash if i do something and then i'm shut down... but I cant wait for something that i'm not sure will happen, and i also need to live more in the moment.

i know theres a-lot of ranting and layers there, but id like to what im grateful for as well. I thought I would never have someone love me as a partner, I know I'm good enough, but I didnt think I could meet someone I wanted to be with in that way either. And I want to be with Lo with my whole heart. She has the best music taste. A dark humor I need someone to have. A sweetheart really. ( mixed with a bit brattiness, shhh she knows that too) but also that can be in a good way too, she knows what she wants, and will make sure she gets that. she knows the importance of prioritizing oneself, and also loves to make others happy. she can be outspoken in a great way too, she doesnt really sugar coat things. god i am absolutely smitten for her. I want with my everything to blossom through life together, be beside her to transition and always feel beautiful. I love our life with the kittys, and out kitty family to grow one day. I cant wait to live in our own place together and wake up and go to sleep together every night and every day. We'll have the cutest maximalist place, with lots of plants and the best lighting. Always smelling good, from our candles and clean linen, to the delicious meals cooked with love.

work is going okay, after 5 full years, and a battle with myself. i'm finally going to go into management. just finished my back of house modules, have a few more areas to train on back there. then i'll get into being able to open the store by myself, and have some key shifts. i need to find out when I'll actually be able to have key shifts, bc i do feel ready for them. plus months of those are required to go into the interview process of management.

I'm also on day 3 without any social media on my phone, which hasn't been as hard tbh. I've also been occupied. There were a few times when sitting around watching drag race last night, that I wanted to scroll a little bit. but that has passed quickly, and i've been glad/ proud to not have the useless info entering my brain. I defiantly will be keeping it up for a long time, if not forever.