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voidix · 3 years ago

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So my dear friend @kittytudor and I were discussing some takes the fandom has on Dazai and especially his interactions with Mori and I thought I’d share

I really hate the train of thought that goes like “they’re super smart so they know life has no meaning and nothing matters” like that’s cynical for no reason whatsoever and just nihilistic

Yea when you are intelligent you see all the bad in the world and feel like you’re powerless to stop it a lot of times but the things is

You know scientists see beauty in everything geologist will get excited about literal dirt a marine biologist about a gold fish. When you’re intelligent you see all the bad but also all the good

However it’s easier to see the bad and often times it clouds your view but part of the healing process is starting to see beauty and happiness in the smallest things and I think that’s a journey Dazai is slowly going on.

So I really don’t think intelligence is the issue here and I’m gonna assume you’re an edgy bastard if you say so

I feel like Dazai’s issue is more the environment than anything and the lack of meaningful relationships. I know we clown the scene where he says actually living is okay now 1 day after meeting Chuuya but here is the thing. This might have been the first time he had someone his age who wanted to hang out with him or even less just someone his age who tolerated him. I personally know nothing about his life pre mafia but you can assume it wasn’t a good life if at age 14 you decide the bloody mafia is preferable to wherever you’re at at the moment

In my opinion Mori didn’t encourage it per se but he didn’t try to stop it either I really think that for him he did not expect Dazai would go through with it (again) and /or as cruel as it sounds if he actually did it which Mori didn’t think was likely he had one less rival to worry about but I really think that’s Mori’s reasoning for staying “neutral” for lack of a better word on this issue

That being said I’m sure being surrounded by death and suffering did not do any good for an already depressed 14/15yo

Which leads me to the second point. I really don’t think Mori expected Dazai to leave or tried to make him leave. For Mori Dazai was a powerful asset because of his ability and because of his intelligence that y’all are obsessed with. So why would you want to push that person away and it’s not like he was encouraging him to suicide here which would make much more sense than wanting him to leave.

And I have evidence

I’m gonna start it with: Oda did not die to set an example I don’t think so no. In his conversation with Chuuya he said something like “being a leader means making sacrifices for the well being of the group” or something like that and that’s what he did here.

He sacrifices Oda to get the permit.

The strange thing is I do think Mori meant what he said to Chuuya that he is a leader but also a servant to the mafia he wants the mafia to gain more power and that’s why he did what he did to get the permit.

I do think it could be a lesson to Dazai but not in the “if you cross me this is gonna happen to you” because Oda didn’t cross him Oda didn’t want power he is the last person who was interested in that. I think if anything it was more a lesson as in “when you take over this is something you’ll have to do and I’m showing you how it’s done”

Evidence for that is he was chuckling when he mentioned that possibility that Dazai would kill him and take one someday. And I agree that Mori

Wouldn’t mind if that was better for the Mafia. Like he wouldn’t make it easy for him and he wouldn’t give up but if he is defeated he wouldn’t be angry or annoyed because like I mentioned above I do think he was genuine when he said he is also a servant to the Mafia

My other piece of evidence is that when he showed Dazai the permit he seemed proud of what he’s done. The way he presented it and the entire scenario he seemed proud more than smug. If he really wanted Dazai out I feel like he would’ve been more smug about the whole thing and we know he can do that well.

And obviously there is also the fact he offered him not once but twice to come back. And what’s interesting is that the first time the offer was secret like he sent Gin and Higuchi and it was in a shady ass tunnel

Now the other time is where it gets interesting because it was very public in front of Dazai’s colleagues the black lizard and Fukuzawa.

Now Mori is a smart guy but also he has a sense of pride as we learned so I really don’t think he would risk being humiliated in front of Fukuzawa of all people just to mess with Dazai and he seemed genuinely surprised when Dazai said “you kicked me” and he didn’t offer him to just come back no he offered to be back as an executive and having Dazai decline and clown him in front of Fukuzawa like that I don’t think he would risk that if he was just playing

The thing is Mori is smart but he has tunnel vision in my opinion. He was so focused on getting the permit he forgot that this plan has consequences that aren’t just “we get the permit”

And also one of Mori’s issues is that he never takes into consideration people’s emotions. You can predict human Behavior to a certain degree a lot of times you can know what to

Say or what to do to get a certain result but the thing is humans aren’t algorithms they don’t always operate on logic they have emotions. And these emotions can be so strong that they override any crumb of logic left which is something I think Mori fails to understand. That’s why he didn’t expect Dazai to leave he forgot about the emotional factor.

That’s what Mori lacks but Dazai has and my evidence for this is a scenario we laughed at because it was presented in a funny way but I think that’s something that shows that Dazai is better at this 4D chess game than Mori.

On the Moby Dick he knew that Akutagawa would abandon everything to talk to him. If Dazai only operates by thinking about logical Behavior he wouldn’t have told Atsushi to do this but he realises that the emotional factor is one of the strongest drives humans have.

And you know I think Mori knows that when it comes to 4D chess Dazai would defeat him but he doesn’t mind that he isn’t scared of that. In dead Apple he couldn’t have possibly known the whole business with the pill but he told Chuuya to interfere. Mori has a strange sense of trust towards Dazai even now that they’re part of different sides.

I think Mori is has always been aware that although he says he does Dazai doesn’t actually want to die and I think the scene with the hyper and hypo tension medication in 15 shows this. If you actually want to die why would you Mix medicine with effects that cancel out each other and Mori is a doctor he knows this. That’s why I think he didn’t expect Dazai to commit and that he believes Dazai actually wants to live and because of that he will try and preserve himself and by extension Yokohama which is why he told Chuuya to go in dead apple, which is why he let Akutagawa go on the Moby Dick in season 2 because he realized Dazai wanted him to go there and he trusts Dazai to a certain degree .

I really feel like his underestimated the emotional factor and this will ultimately lead to his downfall. Like he didn’t expect Dazai to leave he wouldn’t expect anyone to react super emotional to god knows what he’ll do and thereby underestimate their response to that which will make him meet his end.

I don’t think the “you kicked me” is Dazai in denial he acted ok emotions or at least that’s not the whole thing. I think that Dazai’s reasoning for saying that is this:

Oda died so Mori can get more power which was part of Mori’s plan all along so looking at the bigger picture it was Mori’s plan and actions who drove me out of the Mafia so he basically “kicked me out”

Also I wanna add that I feel like Mori because he underestimates the emotional factor he doesn’t understand to this day why Dazai left like he knows it’s related to oda he can follow that train of events but in his mind it doesn’t make logical sense why Dazai would do that which is why he didn’t manage to win Dazai over back to The Mafia because in his mind be doesn’t know the logical reason why Dazai left which is also another reason why he was so surprised when Dazai said he kicked him

Also I’d like to add that I really don’t think he felt threatened or wanted to just get rid of him

Dazai was already suicidal so if it would very easy to make it look like that. And like I mentioned before if it was the best choice for the Mafia I really don’t think Mori would be that bothered about being replaced by Dazai.

I also don’t think he thought Dazai would be more useful on the outside because once again why lose a valuable addition like that

And it’s not like

He wanted to use him

As a spy or anything we know that would’ve been arranged differently see Ango

So Mori the logical guy he is wouldn’t want his enemies to have someone with Dazai’s ability because that’s a pain in the ass and also

He wouldn’t want an insider like Dazai to join his enemies and spill all his secrets. Dazai had a very high rank and like I said I don’t think Mori expected him to leave so he had no reason to hide things from

him so even without his ability he would be a very strong asset to the Mafias enemies so there is no way Mori would think he is more useful on the outside since

1. we already said mori has tunnel vision he couldn’t possibly predict that much that he thinks Dazai is better out

2. We established that he isn’t afraid of him

3. He wouldn’t want the ability and the information to fall into his enemies’ hands

4. If he was actually scared and wanted to get rid of him making it seem like suicide or actually driving him to suicide would be much easier especially since mori is a doctor

So yeah this is long thanks if you read until the end it was super fun to write this id love to know what others think I’m sorry if it’s a bit unorganised it’s copied from my notes app

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd Meta #Dazai osamu #osamu dazai #mori ogai #ogai mori #bsd Mafia

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btssaysstudy · 4 years ago

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Cheap Sunglasses || jjk

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook (BTS) x reader

Note: Inspired by cheap sunglasses by John K || do let me know if you liked it :)

Summary: Being a teaching assistant for college definitely has it monetary perks but who knew it had other perks in meeting a potential significant other.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of injury (not the reader), angst, jungkook being an annoying player at times, mentions of over-exhaustion from schoolwork

“Thanks y/n!” Mingyu grinned, reaching out for a fist bump. You laughed, returning the gesture. “No problem, just doing my job.”

“I’ll treat you for a meal soon, you can count on it! I’ll see you around!” He gave you a quick side hug before leaving the lecture hall. You got up from your seat, packing your belongings to head off for lunch.

“y/n! Could you help me compile the outline for the chapters to read for the semester?” Your professor approached you, handing you the list of chapters that class had to read. “Sure, when do you need it by?”

“Preferably by the end of this week? No rush! As long as it’s before midterms.”

“Okay, sure!” You glanced at the list, it was the same reading list as last semester, you just had to use your own outline for this semester. You smiled, thankful that nothing much changed with the syllabus so you had less work to do as a teaching assistant.

Your professor thanked you and left the hall. “You know, one definite perk of being a TA is tutoring hot students. Mingyu was definitely hitting on you.”

“No he’s not. We’re friends, I already met him for one of my classes last semester.”

“Mm, yea don’t believe you. Anyway, let’s hurry go, I’m starving.” Sooyoung rubbed her stomach and you grabbed your bag, leaving the hall with your friends.

One definite perk, which was not what Sooyoung said, of being a TA was that you get paid and you definitely needed the money. It was tough to juggle being a TA at first and you weren’t sure if you were cut out for it, but 2 semesters later, you’ve been a TA every semester and it’s become a part of your schedule.

“Chan-mi!” A loud bright voice called out for other friend. The three of you stopped, turning around to find the boy who was dubbed as the “sunshine” of your college.

“Yes?” Chan-mi clearly unfazed by his loudness. Hoseok grinned, saying a brief hello to you and Sooyoung. “Our club manager just texted me that we have an upcoming gig. Just a little insider info for you, you’re on the performing team.”

Chan-mi nodded her head with a short laugh, “He texted me too actually.”

“What?! I thought i’ll be the good news bearer.” Hoseok pouted, his group approached him, patting him on the shoulder to rush him for lunch.

“I’ll see you at next practice then!” Chan-mi waved goodbye as he was being dragged away by his friends.

His friends. That group.

That group was popular and they knew it. They don’t seem to bask in it but they would slip some of the times — easily charming people to get what they need, having girls praying that they’ll become their girlfriends. It was no surprise that they have quite a list of girls they dated.

Despite the list,their reputation wasn’t that bad. They would make it clear to the girls they take out on dates — that they’re not looking to commit. You figured it was the least they could to do the poor girls who were pining for them, laying out the facts immediately.

“So what are we eating? I’m about to die any second.” Sooyoung grumbled once more.

—

“If you’d like to book my TA, I’ve sent you an email with a google sheet for you to find a slot. She’s a popular one so better book a slot asap if you need her help.” Your professor announced to the class, making you feel shy from her comment, your eyes glued to your screen as you felt the stares.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t know that you were a popular TA. You did put in the effort to help others since you were being paid after all, so, you did deserve the credit.

Throughout class, you could do your own things since you didn’t need to pay attention to the lesson. Halfway through the class, you clicked on the google sheet link to see that your upcoming week has been almost fully booked.

‘maybe i need a pay raise’ you thought to yourself, opening your own calendar to update your own schedule. Your eyes landed on a particular name, shocked that he even bothered to book a slot.

Jeon Jungkook.

You stopped yourself from whipping your head around to find him. He was part of that group and known to be the very athletic one. You guessed you stereotyped him to be those athletes that didn’t care about studies. You felt slightly uneasy, knowing his reputation in college and the girls.

‘It’s okay, it’s just one time slot.’

Once you noted the ones who booked a time slot with you the upcoming week, you contacted each of them to settle the venue & confirm the timing.

We can meet at my place :) - Jungkook

Yea, I’m not entirely comfortable going to a stranger’s place - y/n

Relax, it was a joke. How about near your place? So you don’t have to travel so much. - Jungkook

That works fine, there’s a cafe near mine. I’ll text you the address later. - y/n

Once class ended your two friends rushed to your seat. “So how’s your schedule Ms. Popular?”

“Really busy.”

“I saw the sheet, Jeon Jungkook booked a slot with you? Perks of being a TA is definitely helping cute students.” Sooyoung giggled like a little pre-teen girl.

“You don’t even need to be a TA to get cute guys, you have so many admirers.” Chan-mi made a very true remark.

“I’ll admit, you’re not wrong. But y/n’s snagging boys of a different league.”

“Stop idolising them like they’re gods.”

“They’re looks are god-like.” Sooyoung countered.

“You’re unbelievable.”

—

“Hey,” someone tapped your shoulder, taking out your earpiece to greet Jungkook. “Hey.”

He was dressed in a typical tired college student, in grey sweats and a black hoodie. Yet, you had to admit he looked cute in them.

“Sorry, did I make you wait long?”

“Oh no, I just came early to make sure we get a good spot. Not too near the rest of the customers.”

“I see you want a little privacy.” Jungkook grinned cheekily, clearly implying something else. You raised a questioning eyebrow at him, “Sorry, just kidding.” He quickly apologised, taking the seat opposite you.

“Anyway, we can just begin immediately. Do you have any questions?”

Jungkook nodded his head, taking out his laptop. “I do actually. Quite a long list if you don’t mind.”

“Well you have me for an hour. Go ahead.”

Throughout the 2 hours, you realised you really stereotyped him a great amount. You assumed he barely paid attention in class but he did — he even had a list of questions to ask. You honestly enjoyed helping these type of people the most, those that made their own effort to help themselves.

“You know,” Jungkook spoke, coming back from ordering his drink. “For the past hour and a half, I gotta admit, I stereotyped you to be a super uptight and socially awkward person. Then again, having to help tutor a lot of people would need social skills as well.”

With a chuckle, you shrugged your shoulders, “I stereotyped you too, so I guess we’re both guilty.”

Curious, Jungkook rested his weight on his arms as he leaned closer to you, “Oh really? What did you stereotype me as then?” A playful smirk clearly threatening to appear on his lips.

“A dumb jock.” You mischievously grinned back at him, his smile dropped, clearly not expecting that answer. It felt good to bruise that ego of his, even if it was just a split second. “Since I’m asking you to tutor me, I’m not gonna argue that.” He leaned back, regaining his composure and confidence.

You could feel his entire presence exuding with confidence, though he did have something to be confident about. In fact, he had a few things to be confident about - athletically gifted, popular and handsome. Anyone would call you a liar if you said you didn’t think he was handsome.

“If you don’t have anymore questions, we can wrap this up now.”

Jungkook nodded his head, “Thanks for helping me. Appreciate it.” He reached out his hand, offering a handshake. “A handshake?”

“Are you afraid of a little physical contact?” He teased.

Rolling your eyes, you reached out to give him a firm shake. “Glad I could help you.” He gave you a cute bunny smile, grabbing his things and leaving you behind in the cafe. You stayed for a few more minutes before heading back to your place to prepare dinner for your guests.

Cooking always seemed to make time pass by quickly because before you even realised, your friends were spamming your doorbell, rushing you to let them in. “How was he?” Sooyoung questioned the moment she entered your house.

“I had a good day thank you.” You sarcastically replied, grabbing a cup for them. “He was alright, he actually came prepared with questions.”

“That’s surprising. I honestly thought he booked a slot just to flirt with you.” Chan-mi commented as she helped you set up the dining table. “Come on, he wouldn’t waste his time on me.”

“Why not? You’re a great catch.” Sooyoung argued.

“Pretty sure I give off the vibe of “date to settle” and not “date for the fun”. So obviously, he won’t even bother.”

“Mm, you do have a point for that.”

“Anyway, enough about my tutees, let’s just enjoy girls night.” You raised your shot glass of soju, Sooyoung grinned excitedly, “Cheers to us”

As every week’s slot was released in the online sheet, Jungkook was always one of the first few to book. You couldn’t help but be surprised every time you saw his name on the schedule.

“So you picked up the sport by accident?” You clarified again as you took another sip. Jungkook nodded his head, leaning back into his chair. “Seokjin was the one who wanted to learn it, he dragged me to the trial class and the rest was history. He takes credit for it.” He laughed, a reminiscing look on his face.

“From your stories, you guys seem like brothers.” You watched an endearing smile creep onto his face, “They really do seem like it.”

His phone started vibrating and he checked the caller ID before sighing, silencing the call. You furrowed your eyebrows together, “What’s with that annoyed look?”

Jungkook shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, “Nothing much, just someone I went out with a week ago.”

“Trouble in paradise?” You joked.

“There’s no paradise. It was just a date, nothing more to it.” He nonchalantly dismissed it. You felt a bit offended of how casual he was treating their feelings. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to go out with them, you know? You’re just giving them false hope.”

Jungkook sat upright, “That’s not true. I clearly tell them that I don’t mind going out on a date but that’s nothing. Nothing more than a date out. So it’s on them for still going for it.”

You sighed, “But you already know these people are dating you and hoping that they’ll be the one who will change your mind about the idea of commitment.” Jungkook shrugged, “Maybe that’ll happen one day.”

Narrowing your eyes at the boy in front you, you wondered if that was what he had been secretly hoping for whenever he went out with these girls. “Do you want that to happen? Is that why you’re more than glad to go out on dates?”

He didn’t answer immediately, staring at you as if he was thinking of a reply. Clearing his throat he adjusted his sitting position, “I didn’t say that. I just said maybe it’ll happen.”

“Yea but are you hoping for it to happen?”

Jungkook casted a soft glare, “Okay enough about my love life. How about you? Aren’t you single as well?”

You leaned back, nodding your head, “Yea, what about it?”

“Well, why aren’t you attached?”

Pressing your lips into a thin line as you thought carefully of your answer. “Unlike you, I date to settle.” Jungkook jutted out his bottom lip, internalising your reply as he nodded his head in response. “Interesting. You’ll probably click well with Jimin.”

“Your friend Jimin?”

“Yea, he has the same thought as you. Always nagging at me about the same thing you just did.” Jungkook chuckled to himself, shaking his head as he recalled the countless times Jimin was talking about Jungkook’s active love life.

“He’s right you know… Doesn’t it get lonely always meeting different people?”

There was a short pause in the conversation, Jungkook’s eyes shifting away, his gaze fixed on the table. “To be honest, yea. But at the same time it’s what keeps me from feeling lonely. Doesn’t make sense, I know.”

You smiled, “It’s cool, I kinda get it. But after our numerous study sessions together, I’m certain you deserve to be in a good relationship.”

Jungkook shrugged, “Thanks but I don’t think I’m cut out for it.”

Confused, you questioned for an explanation. Jungkook’s eyes wandered around as he thought of a response. The athlete randomly took out his pair of shades. “Are the shades part of your answer or something?”

“It’s cheap.”

“Okay?” Your response sounded for confused, wondering if he was trying to change the topic. If he was, it was a very weird way.

“I buy the cheap ones because I know i’m going to lose them sooner or later. Can’t keep the good ones. That’s how I feel about my love life. Sometimes it feels like I can’t have nice things.”

“Man.” You breathed out, leaning back into your seat. “That’s a great analogy and all but don’t be so bleak. Between the two of us? You’re probably going to be first one who gets into a solid relationship.”

Jungkook chuckled, “Thanks for the faith TA. Do you have the same amount of faith in me for this module?”

You pursed your lips jokingly, “I think you’ll need more consultations for the same level of faith.” Breaking into a chuckle right after and so did Jungkook.

The popular athlete reached out his tattooed hand once again, for a handshake. By then, you were used to this gesture, chuckling as you reached across the table to shake his hands. “Tell you what, let’s take a pause on tutoring. You should meet the rest.”

“The rest as in your group?”

“Yea,” He stood up, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and stuffed his hands in his sweatpants’ pockets. You liked his laid-back look, he always wore that similar style whenever he was meeting you and you assumed it was to get comfortable enough to study.

“Are you going to keep staring at me?” Jungkook smirked. You rolled your eyes, standing up to get your bag. “Come on, don’t be so mean to me.” He playfully pouted and he looked cute. You felt yourself feel shy just from that, “I am not.”

“Yes you are, you always mock me or insult me. Where’s my compliment?”

You pursed your lips, bringing your finger to your lips as you pretended to ponder. “You’re doing well with this class.”

Unsatisfied, he grumbled, “That’s not a compliment.”

“Of course it is.” You grinned cheekily at him, patting his shoulders. “But alright, you look cute in sweats.” Even though you clearly sounded nonchalant, your heart was racing from admitting that and you hoped that your face wasn’t getting hot. You kept your composure, and made the first move to leave the cafe.

You realised that you didn’t know where you were going to meet his friends, “Oh yea, where are we going?” You turned around to see Jungkook still standing in place. He cleared his throat and adjust his bag strap. “R-Right, just follow me.”

You didn’t want to tease him further but you clearly saw a pink hue on his cheeks. “Cute.” You muttered to yourself as he led the way.

—

“You want a snack? My treat, for all the tutoring you’ve been giving me.”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—“

“Okay I’ll get you your usual.” He winked at you before heading off to the counter. You smiled to yourself, watching his figure walk away. You continued on your own work as you waited for him to come back.

Jungkook happily came back as if he won a prize. “Guess who just got free cake? We did!” Jungkook cheered, pushing his stuff aside to make way for the food. “Free cake? Why?”

“So the lady who we always see here apparently owns this place. She’s at the counter today and she randomly gave me this cake for us to celebrate Valentine’s Day.”

Confused, you looked at your calendar. “Oh, it’s Valentine’s Day.” “yea it is, didn’t you know?” “Clearly didn’t.” You shrugged, “But you should’ve told her we’re not together. I feel bad for the free cake.”

“No no, you should feel flattered she called us a cute couple. It means you’re cute.” Jungkook’s body froze for a moment realizing what he had just said. You laughed, “Yea right. Good joke, kook.”

Jungkook frowned, “I’m not joking. I think you’re cute.”

You pointed your pen in his direction, “You know, when I was young I heard that cute meant adorable but ugly.”

“That’s obviously not what I mean. You’re not ugly, that’s for sure.” Jungkook argued without hesitation. You felt flustered this time, retracting your pen. “T-Thanks, I guess.”

The two of you not only spend weekly 2h sessions together, but also became “study buddies”. Jungkook was unsurprisingly super concentrated whenever he started studying. You realised it was his character to always give it his all even if it was something he wasn’t too fond of — like studying. You also noticed his eyebrows would furrow as he tried to comprehend the materials, or sigh and scold himself whenever he found himself stuck.

He had a lot of endearing habits while studying, you couldn’t help but smile every time you noticed it.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, why aren’t you on a date today?”

“Because we arranged a study session today.” Jungkook answered as if it was so obvious.

“It’s just one day of not studying, you could’ve just told me. Plus, I’m sure many girls were hinting you to ask them out.”

“You’re not wrong about that.” He smugly answered and it made you feel a tinge of jealousy that Jungkook saw these girls as “date potential” while you were just his “study buddy”. “Tone down your ego—“

“But I’d rather study with you than go out on a date.”

You found yourself speechless, not knowing how you should be replying to that. Sensing that you were lost for words, Jungkook smiled, “Did I just take your breath away?”

“Shut up.” You snapped out of it, throwing your pen at him.

—

Hey y/n! Sorry i’ll be a bit late later, at the clinic so it might take a while before I’m let off! - jk

Are you sick? We can just reschedule! - y/n

No no! Just sprained my ankle during practice, that’s all! - jk

that’s all?! you’re not traveling today. what’s ur address? i can go over instead - y/n

You bit your lip, wondering if you were overstepping by insisting that and quickly sent another text.

if you’re alright w that of course - y/n

sure i just didn’t want to suggest it in case you weren’t, i’ll text u my address in a bit! - jk

On your way to his place, you felt nervous but you shrugged it off, blaming it on your usual ‘first house visit jitters’ — just like any other time you visited a place for the first time. Or so you told yourself. You ignored that feeling as you rang the doorbell, waiting for the injured athlete to answer the door.

“Hey.” Jungkook greeted you with a smile. You took a good look at his casted ankle, his weight resting on his crutch. A wince crept on your face, “Ouch, looks bad.”

“Thank you for asking, I feel fine.”

You stepped in, eyes taking your time to wander around his place. It was cozy, not cluttered as you had assumed. Jungkook pointed to the table placed by the window, well-lit for a good place to study or to wind down and have a meal. “Nice place.”

“Thanks. Didn’t have much time to tidy up the place before you came.”

“It’s alright, looks neat to me.” Your eyes glanced back down to his ankle, “Are you sure you want to have this session today? I feel like you should be resting—“

“You’re already here. I can take a little revision. Don’t underestimate me.” He teased, gently shoving your shoulder. With a light laugh, you nodded and sat down at the table. You watched Jungkook as he tried to find a comfortable position for himself, especially with his injury. Dropping his crutch on the floor, he settled down quickly to begin the session.

“So how do I know which case to use?”

“It depends on the scenario prof sets for finals. Just a tip, prof loves answers that argues both sides. So, it’s best if you argue with both cases but conclude with which is more relevant or stronger for the scenario.”

Jungkook nodded his head, his bottom lip jutted out once again as he took down your response in his notes. “Thanks, I’m glad I started consultations with you since the beginning of the semester. I would be drowning will all these laws and cases if I didn’t.”

“I’m sure you would’ve managed fine. Your friends are managing well too. Jimin’s pretty good with this module.” You made an off-handed comment about Jimin as you started to pack up your belongings. You failed to catch the slight furrow in his eyebrows and that irritated twitch in the corner of his lip at the mention of Jimin. He knew you two would match well, which he should be happy for Jimin, but instead, he felt annoyed that Jimin was having consultations with you.

He couldn’t help but ask, “He meets you too?”

“Oh yea,” You nodded, your eyes still not meeting his as you scrolled through your schedule, “He meets me lesser than you though, just once a week.”

Just once a week. He repeated your reply. That was enough to get close to you. Hell, he meets you three times a week almost every week. One would question if he really needed that many consultations a week. Jungkook would argue against that, defending that he needed it. But deep down inside, he knew he was lying.

You thought the same. Chan-mi and Sooyoung would make remarks on why Jungkook needed three sessions a week, hinting that he just wanted to find excuses to meet you. You would deny it every time, saying that he would always come prepared for each session with questions, proving that he really took those sessions seriously. But just like Jungkook, you too had a feeling that it wasn’t true.

“Anyway, hope your ankle gets better soon. I better give you time to rest.” You checked the time on your phone. Jungkook did the same time, quick to respond, “Do you want to stay for dinner? I’m going to be ordering delivery anyway. You know... With my ankle. You could have dinner before you leave.” He shrugged his shoulders, trying to be casual about it. Jungkook wasn’t sure what was making him particularly nervous to suggest that. He normally wasn’t nervous with his dates. Why was he nervous around you when it was not even a date to begin with?

You contemplated, imagining your schedule in your mind. The pause made him grow nervous, “You don’t have to—“

“I’m down for dinner. My schedule’s not too busy tonight.” You smiled, settling your bag down back on the chair. Jungkook returned an eager grin. “My treat. For coming all the way here to tutor me.”

“Enough with the treats—“

“No negotiations on this one. I really owe you for traveling here, especially on such a last minute notice.” Jungkook shook his head, scrolling through the list of possible food options.

“Alright, thanks kook.”

That nickname made his lips tug upwards as he tried to fight the smile. “No problem. What do you want to have?”

—

Dinner didn’t take long to arrive, you helped him collect the delivery and set it out on the coffee table. Jungkook had convinced you to watch a movie with him while waiting for dinner. Sinking yourself back onto the couch, the two of you happily enjoyed dinner while watching the movie he had chosen.

“That’s cute.” You commented as the credits rolled. The movie was a short light one and it helped the both of you de-stress from the upcoming finals season. You really needed that self-care.

“Thanks for the dinner and movie. I honestly needed it. Haven’t had much time to wind down lately.”

“Too busy with your consultations?”

You nodded your head, letting out a long sigh. “Yea, don’t get me wrong. It’s rewarding helping others, especially with the pay. But it’s just during this killer period that makes me regret it.”

Jungkook frowned, sitting upright, “I’m sorry I keep booking you.”

You chuckled, “Don’t be sorry. That is my job anyway. Plus, you’re always prepared for the sessions. I hate sessions when they don’t even know why they booked it. Drives me mad.”

Jungkook hummed, agreeing with you. “That must suck.”

“Yea,” your eyes trailed back down to his ankle once again. “What happened with your ankle anyway?”

“Training today. It’s been tough as well for me. Coach has been increasing the intensity and we don’t really get enough rest with studies as well. I wasn’t in the greatest condition today so I slipped.”

“Yikes. Hope it heals fast though.” You smiled cheekily, “Do I get to sign it?”

Jungkook laughed, “That’s so childish. No one signs casts anymore.”

“Please? I’ve never done it before!” You pouted, doing your best to convince him to let you vandalize his cast. You didn’t need to do much to convince him, he was willing to give in pretty much from the first time you brought it up. “A-Alright. Just don’t draw a dick or something.”

You hummed, feigning consideration. “I wasn’t planning to but now that you mentioned it...”

He glared, grabbing his throw pillow to toss it at your face. “Don’t you dare.”

“I was kidding.” You laughed, rushing to the table to grab a pen, sitting back down close to him to draw on his cast.

Don’t flunk my module.

“Done!” You added an “A+” next to it, willing yourself to not draw a heart which you almost did. You pulled away from the cast, looking at your work proudly. Jungkook snorted, “Don’t flunk my module? I won’t. Definitely not after all our sessions together.”

“You better.” You turned to look at him, suddenly aware of how close your faces were next to each other. You watched his gaze drop to your lips before flickering up to meet yours, “May I...?”

You nodded slightly, overcome by the adrenaline and fluttery feeling that was consuming you. You both leaned in, gently kissing each other, making sure you don’t put so much weight against him to avoid hurting his injury. Jungkook’s hand found your waist as he pulled you in, the other cupping your cheek. With your arms snaking around his neck, you both deepened the kiss.

Something in you snapped and made you pull away abruptly. “I-I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have done that.” You quickly got up to take your belongings.

“W-Wait, what do you mean—“ Jungkook called after you, struggling to get up fast with his crutch.

“You’re just going to end whatever we’ll have if we try. We’re looking for different things remember?” You rubbed the nape of your neck, “L-Look, could we just pretend this didn’t happen? I don’t want anything to be awkward between us.”

“W-Wait but...” Jungkook sighed, noting how resolute you were with your suggestion. “If that’s what you want.”

“Thanks Jungkook... Anyway, I should probably go. Get well soon.” You shifted your bag on your shoulder and sent yourself out the door.

After that incident, your schedule you had planned went down the drain. Your brain was foggy and your focus out the window the entire night as you kept thinking about that kiss. How it felt and how happy you felt. But you also reminded yourself that Jungkook was not looking to settle and you didn’t want to put yourself through that.

You just hoped things would be the same after that day.

—

I’m guessing the usual cafe? :) - jk

Where else would we go? - y/n

Maybe my place? - jk

Good try - y/n

Worth a shot - jk

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself every time you conversed with him. Your usual 2h slot with him would drag on if you didn’t have anything that day. It wouldn’t drag on because of questions, you two would just be talking and enjoying each other’s presence. Ever since you met his friends, you met him more outside your 2h slot with him. Though, it was always off-campus.

The incident at his place was as if it didn’t even happen. As if it was just a wet dream of Jungkook. You were thankful he stuck to the agreement and acted as if nothing happened. However, a part of you felt that it was the wrong move.

You look great today btw - jk

But that doesn’t mean you look bad on other days - jk

Just extra great today - jk

Feeling that familiar fluttery feeling in your heart, you chose to ignore the message, promptly closing your chat. You reminded yourself about their reputation with relationships, they weren’t into a serious commitment. You didn’t want to waste your own time either. For some reason you could feel someone staring at you and you could bet anyone 10 bucks that it was Jungkook.

After that moment, class went by fast and it was finally time for lunch. “Y/n! Do you want to grab lunch sometime this week? I promised I’ll be treating.” Mingyu flashed a very charming smile that made you smile back automatically. Behind him was Sooyoung and Chan-mi approaching you.

“You really don’t have to treat me, I’m just doing my job—“

“I insist, yn. I still owe you for carrying me on your back last semester for the other class.” He chuckled. “Come on, you pulled your own weight.” You shook your head with a laugh. You glanced at your two friends who were patiently waiting for you and possibly eagerly eavesdropping. Just as you were about to turn away, Jungkook’s group walked behind them.

You could’ve sworn that you made eye contact when you gave him a smile to which he coldly ignored, looking away and leaving the hall with his friends.

“We can go for lunch but you’re not treating me.”

Mingyu reached out to pat your shoulder, “We’ll see! I’ll get you again soon!” He winked at you and headed off. Your two giddy best friends reached out to pull you along with them. “Is that a date?”

“N-No it’s not!”

“Why are you stuttering?” Chan-mi teased, poking your sides. You took a few steps in front of them, turning around to face them as you walked backwards. “I swear it’s not a date. We’re just friends.”

“Alright, alright, now walk properly before you hurt yourself Miss-I-have-a-date-with-Mingyu.” Sooyoung turned you around by your shoulders. Just as she strongly whipped you around, your eyes met with Jungkook’s.

Your mouth opened to say hi but nothing happened when he once again, looked away, not acknowledging your presence. “Hey y/n!” Jimin happily greeted you, pulling you in for a hug. “Thanks for tutoring me yesterday.”

“No problem, just doing my job.” You grinned at him but your thoughts still on Jungkook ignoring you.

Jimin chuckled, ruffling your hair, “You’re cute when you’re humble. Anyway, see you around!” You said bye to the others, noting that Jungkook didn’t say a single word to you. It was as if you weren’t right in front of you and you felt offended.

“Did something happen between you and Jungkook?”

“No, nothing happened.” You denied as the memory of the kiss flashed in your mind.

“Are you sure?” Chan-mi questioned and you sighed. “Sorry, can we not talk about him? Let’s just have lunch.”

You didn’t notice your two friends sharing a look before collectively agreeing to drop the topic.

—

“Hey.”

“You’re late.” You commented, staring at your screen as you continued your assignment. “Yea sorry, I was on a date with someone and it kinda over ran.”

Oh. A date with someone. “O-Oh, how did it go?”

“Pretty well.” Jungkook took a sit, taking out his laptop, ready to fire his questions. “That’s good!” you sounded happy for him. You weren’t sure if your eyes were just trying to make you feel better but it was as if Jungkook seemed disappointed with your reply, as if he was hoping for a different reaction.

“Yea... Anyway, I don’t have much questions today so it should be a fast one. If you want, we could go get an early dinner?”

“I don’t think I can... I have quite a lot of things to do today.”

“Oh... That’s cool.”

Moving on from the topic, you two went through the questions he had smoothly though there was something nagging at the back of your mind. Why was he so cold towards you that day? Why is he acting as if he wasn’t being such a dick towards you that day?

“You good?”

“Hmm?” You glanced up to see genuine concerned eyes that made your heart flutter once again. “Y-Yea I’m good.”

“You sure? You seem quite out of it today. Are you unwell? Is something bothering you?”

You shook your head, getting frustrated. “Why were you ignoring me today in school?”

“W-What?” Jungkook pulled away, taken aback by your question. You sighed, “You know what I’m talking about.”

Jungkook shook his head, “I was just having a bad morning.”

“A bad morning.” You scoffed, “Right, so a bad morning would make you ignore my entire presence. I’ll take mental note of that.” Jungkook himself got annoyed, crossing his arms as he countered, “You didn’t seem to care about anyone else either when you were chatting up with Mingyu. Didn’t think my moody morning would even be noticed by you.”

You blinked a couple times, processing what he had just said. “W-What? I was just talking with him. Why are you even bringing this up?”

He didn’t answer this time, sighing as he packed his laptop in his bag. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” Jungkook got up and so did you. “You can’t do this? Are you jealous or something?”

“What? Of course not.” Jungkook frustratedly ruffled his hair. Not wanting to cause a scene at the cafe, you took your own stuff, chuckling dryly to yourself. “Well, you need to sort out whatever shit’s going on with you. I’m not here to guess how you’re feeling.”

“You’re not here to guess?” Jungkook whisper-yelled. “You were the one who suggested to ignore what happened. I’m here trying to keep my shit together because of that.”

“Jungkook, look. Let’s not talk about it here. Can we just drop it please?” ”Whatever.”

You walked away, not looking back to see Jungkook’s regretful look on his face.

—

Jungkook didn’t contact you after that day and you didn’t want to contact him either. Jimin, on the other hand, was trying to find out what happened between the two of you.

“He always shuts the conversation down the moment one of us brings you up.”

You sighed, “Nothing serious happened.”

“If that’s true, you guys wouldn’t be ignoring each other like the plague again. I had to lie to him about where I am today.”

A part of you, admittedly, would want Jungkook to reach out to you to just come clean about snapping at you the other day. You couldn’t understand how he could go on a date and then get pissed that you were talking to Mingyu.

“You shouldn’t have lied to him.”

“It’s nothing.” Jimin shook his head, “What really happened between you two?”

Defeated, you told Jimin what happened that day at the cafe. “You two are just plain stupid. That poor boy likes you. You like him. Case solved.”

“If that’s true, he wouldn’t have gone on a date right before meeting me.”

“Yes, I agree that part’s fucked up. He just sucks at admitting his feelings to himself. Don’t worry, I’ll sort him out for you.” Jimin draped his arms around your shoulder, “you can count on me to give him a good nagging.”

“Thanks Jimin but you don’t have to do that—“

“Jimin? Y/N?”

The two of you turned around, Jimin immediately retracting his arm when you saw Jungkook standing right behind you. “Oh Kook!”

“I thought you said you’re meeting your Tinder date.”

“R-Right about that—“

“No, forget it, it’s clear who’s your Tinder date. Enjoy.” Jungkook shut him down and walked pass the both of you. Jimin sighed, “Looks like it’s time for me to fix this mess.”

“I think he’ll beat you up if you go after him. I’ll talk to him. You’re right, we need to talk.” Jimin gave you an encouraging smile, patting your shoulders, “Good luck.”

You needed that.

You hurriedly followed after him, calling out to him to stop and wait for you. It wasn’t that hard to catch up to him with his injury as well.

Jungkook looked hurt and cold, as if he was building up his wall against you. “We weren’t on a date. Jimin didn’t want to tell you that he’s meeting me because apparently you get pissed every time you hear my name. I swear.”

“You don’t need to explain anything—“

“Yea of course I don’t, because I should just leave it to you to make wild assumptions every time some shit happens. I don’t get it. One moment, I think you may like me and the next moment you’re out on a date with someone else. Just tell me what is it and we can stop having this misunderstanding.”

Jungkook ruffled his hair, looking around the campus. “Can we talk somewhere else? And not here in public?”

You gestured with your hands, asking him to lead the way. Jungkook led you to a more secluded area, not too far away from where you bumped into him. You both couldn’t take walking together without clearing things up.

Jungkook didn’t waste any time, immediately diving straight into it. “I do like you. Hell, there’s nothing to even doubt especially after that night. I wanted to kiss you for so long. I never admitted that to myself until that very moment. But then you said you wanted to drop everything and I thought it was just in the heat of the moment for you so I agreed. I rather be friends than back to strangers.” Jungkook breathed, taking a short pause, “But then I see you with Mingyu, with Jimin, and I know these men are your type. The ones that settle down with the right partner. The ones that don’t go on many dates. But that’s been me. So i figured you regretted it when you said that i didn’t want the same things you wanted. But fuck, i want to settle down with you. Take things slow, see where the future takes us. Three sessions with you was over the top for my studies but I did it because I love our time together. I love studying with you, going off topic and talking about other things. I love teasing you just to see your reaction because it makes me smile. I love it when you tease me back just to annoy me. You annoy me but I love it.” He sighed, looking at the floor before meeting your watery eyes.

“But I know I’m not the type of guy you’re looking for. You made it clear yourself that night when you asked to drop it. So there. That’s why I went on that date before meeting you. Because I was so nervous about seeing your face, I needed to get my mind off of you. I admit, I’m sorry for doing that because that just further proves your point about me.” He trailed off, as the realization sinks in of how he had just fucked up his own chances of being with you.

You didn’t bother interrupting him at all, your heart pounding loudly against your chest as you took in every single word he said. Your brain and heart having a civil war with each other. Not knowing what should your next move be.

“I’m guessing silence means I’m right.” He spoke after receiving no response from you. “I’ll see you around. Take care of yourself.” He gave a pained smile as he headed off back to his place.

Your knees felt weak as you leaned back against the wall that was hiding the both of you from the others. Your hand brought up to your heart.

What were you going to do?

With a heavy heart, you made your way back to your place. As you settled your dinner, you aimlessly browsed through the shows on Netflix as Your mind was busy thinking about Jungkook’s confession.

Why didn’t you go after him? Why didn’t you say anything? Were you scared that it was all words? Were you scared of ruining the friendship you two had established? What was stopping you from doing what you wanted?

You knew you couldn’t leave things there. You had to do something before you regret. You liked Jungkook. A lot. You were willing to take the risk with him. Just as he was as willing to prove to you that he’s serious.

You reached out for your phone and key, making your way out the door and to where you needed to be.

Once you had arrived, you were knocking on the door profusely, “Jungkook!” You called out.

The door opened, “W-What are you doing here—“

“I like you too. You’re wrong. I don’t regret that night. I regret saying that we should forget about it. Because i couldn’t. I didn’t. I thought about it everyday. I’m willing to take things slow with you if you’re willing. I don’t want to regret this as well.”

The smile on his face grew as you admitted your own feelings to him, Jungkook pulling you in with his free hand as the other still held on to his clutch.

“I mean it as well. I have zero intentions to play around with you. I’m serious and I’ll prove it. I’m not going to lose you, you’re not cheap sunglasses to me.”

“I trust you.” You said with a laugh, recalling his metaphor as his grin only grew wider. “You just made me a really happy man.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell with that wide grin on your face.”

“You’re annoying.” Jungkook said with no malice in his tone as he leaned in for a kiss. Both of you had been wanting to do that again ever since that incident. Your leg kicking the door shut as you pulled yourself closer to him.

“I could get used to this.” You smiled as you pulled away.

“Well, you should. I’m going to be kissing you for a long time.”

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capricorn-stark · 4 years ago

Text

Unexpected Encounters

pairing: dick grayson x reader, first encounter

warning: n/a

a/n: yeah I got nothing, pretty casual fic

part 2

Bludhaven was a city so miserable, it could give Gotham a run for its money any day of the week.

You would know - after having lived in Gotham for most your life, only to end up relocating to Bludhaven for your job, you could whole-heartedly say that Bludhaven made you long for your dark, perpetually rain-drenched city. The place was practically like Gotham’s Crime Alley - if Crime Alley had been expanded to a house an entire city of people.

One of the biggest differences between the two, however, was that there was no silent guardian preventing the crime rate from steadily crawling upwards with each passing hour, no Dark Knight in the form of some stranger dressed up in a bat costume to save his citizens from killer clowns and watered-down furries in penguin costumes. In Bludhaven, you would simply manage to survive on your own, or you would get mugged and end up at the bottom of its polluted harbor for some poor soul to find weeks later.

And that was simply how life was.

Granted, those kind of thoughts definitely were not offering you comfort as you walked down the streets of Bludhaven yourself, keys between your fingers and the feel of your gun concealed in your other hand as you kept carefully drifting beneath the lights of the dying streetlamps, cautious of directing any sort of attention to yourself. You had missed your bus home after working a bit too late, and you couldn’t exactly wait around for the next one to arrive in another two hours.

Luckily for you, you saw no real dangers tonight.

Maybe, for once, it would be a quiet trip home.

Naturally, you were immediately proven wrong.

You were a generally cautious person, as anyone who grew up in a city like Gotham had to be in order to survive there at all. You were careful of your surroundings, who you talked to, who you ran into, and where you walked. You were in no way stupid enough to go into a random alleyway because it just so happened to be a conveniently located “short-cut”. Ever.

You were smarter than that.

But you hadn’t noticed the presence of a man in a dark and worn hood trailing behind you for what, as far as you knew, could’ve been quite some time now, formerly concealed in the crowds you had walked through. He was only a few feet away from you now, his steps quickening ever so slightly when he noticed you catching sight of him in the window of a passing store. You remembered that you had seen that same man nearly five minutes prior a few blocks before.

That, as anyone could’ve guessed, was definitely not a good sign.

The crowds were thinning as you edged closer to your part of the city, fewer and fewer people lining the stores and alleys, with even fewer who looked like they would help you if you happened to need it. You couldn’t exactly dart into the nearest corner store and expect him to leave you alone, there was a much higher chance of him simply leaving your line of sight altogether and reappearing when you finally stepped outside. If you tried to book it, you were more than certain that a man that size could easily catch up.

The last option you had was a confrontation, but living in places like this for as long as you had, you were sure it could escalate immediately and leave you in a much, much worse situation. You had a gun, but you couldn’t gauge how effective it would be if he happened to have one himself, and this was Bludhaven.

Everyone had a gun.

So, all your options were bad. You felt your grip around your gun tighten anyways as you walked faster, cursing under your breath as you noticed him doing the same behind you. Your heart was racing now, breath quickening as you tried to tell yourself that you were almost home, that you just had one more block to go before-

“Excuse me, ma’am. Are you alright?”

You looked up at the source of the new voice that had gotten you to stop in your tracks and meet a pair of bright blue eyes. The man in front of you offered you a reassuring smile as he tapped the badge on his uniform.

Bludhaven Police Department.

“Someone bothering you?”

You turned your head to look back at where the man following you had been, only to feel a chill run down your spine as you realized he had disappeared into the shadows of the city, as if he hadn’t been there at all.

“I thought-” You cut yourself off, still staring at the people milling around left and right. “I thought there was someone-” He seemed to notice how shaken you were immediately, tearing his gaze away from the crowd and finally settling back to you, lips curving into another soft smile. Despite everything, it was strangely comforting to see.

“If it makes you feel better, I can walk you to your destination.” You couldn’t bring yourself to decline when your heart was still racing in your chest, so you managed a nod. The man pulled his jacket around him as he moved to fall into step alongside you after one last look into the crowds. “You’re sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I am now,” you brushed off, wrapping your own jacket a little closer around your body as you made yourself fixate your gaze on the path ahead. Your fingers were hurting from the previous clutch of your keys. The gun had finally been fully tucked away. “Thanks, Detective-” You cut yourself off to get a closer look at his ID. “Grayson?”

“Richard,” he offered with another smile, glancing at you in turn. “Well, I go by Dick, but-” he caught sight of your expression and laughed, shaking his head. “Richard’s fine, too.” You felt your face burn red and you tried to clear your throat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s all good, I get it a lot. Can I ask for yours?” You chuckled a little before introducing yourself to him, shaking your head dismissively when he commented that it suited you.

“Am I making you leave your post or something?” Dick waved that off immediately, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Nah, I’m just patrolling this area tonight. I was about to head into the café down the street for some coffee when I saw you, and I thought you seemed a little alarmed.” His tone was even but kind, and it was easy for you to tell that he had been in this type of situation a million times before. “If you need anything, medical assistance, filing a report, I can take care of that.”

You nodded slightly again, taking another deep breath as you felt your panic finally subside. His presence was comforting, and you were glad he was with you for the rest of the walk home. You still couldn’t bring yourself to think about what might’ve happened if he hadn’t shown up.

You wouldn’t be missing the bus again any time soon, that was certain.

“I was just surprised,” you finally started, feeling a twinge of embarrassment creep up your face for no apparent reason. As if you were the one who should’ve been more careful. “I didn’t see him - I guess I wasn’t as careful as I thought I was.”

“Don’t think that’s on you, because it wasn’t your fault,” he started at once, apparently having been able to read your mind. “Creeps like that are running around all over this place, you can’t expect to see all of them coming. I’m just glad you’re alright.” You nodded again, pulling the jacket a little tighter before you sneaked another glance up at him.

You hadn’t exactly seen much of what he looked like beneath the dingy light of the streetlamps, but as you edged towards your apartment complex, you could finally see his face beneath the brighter lighting.

You noticed the striking blue eyes first, of course, accompanied by strong, defined features, jet black hair, and a surprising look of youthfulness despite the fact that he had sounded like he’d be a bit older. The light crinkles by his eyes told you he was the kind of person who tended to smile a lot.

Clearly, he was very, very handsome.

“I’m actually pretty new to this whole gig,” he commented as he scanned around the street you were on, snapping you out of your not-so subtle staring. “Moved from Gotham a few months ago, found a job with the BDP. They definitely appreciated having new hires around, with the state this city’s in.”

“So did I,” you blurted out in surprise, causing him to raise a brow at you. “Not working with the BDP - but I moved here a few months ago, too, from Gotham. I lived there my whole life.”

“Well, look at that,” he laughed, seeming rather incredulous but certainly pleased at the finding. “I guess we have that in common. Some move, huh, thinking Gotham’s about as bad it gets before getting smacked with Bludhaven?” You actually laughed at that in turn, nodding in agreement.

“No super-people flying around to save the place, either. Tragic.”

“I’m sure one’s gonna show up around here eventually,” he dismissed, following you when you motioned towards your building in the distance. “If there’s any place that needs some of them around, it’s here.”

“As what, Bludhaven’s version of Batman?” you deadpanned, imagining what things would be like if another man in a bat costume started running around and beating up street-thugs. At least the crime rates might dip. “As long as he doesn’t come with more psychotic clowns, I guess we could use one. Even if that means changing my insurance plan to fit him in.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Dick agreed, corners of his lips twitching into another almost mischievous grin that caused your face to redden in the dark. “Doesn’t have to be another Batman, maybe it’ll be someone new.”

“As long as they take care of the city, I think I won’t care who it is,” you decided with another light chuckle, stopping in front of your building and looking up at him. “I just hope they’ll be cut out for the job.” He stopped in front of you with another smile, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see, huh?” You found yourself mirroring the action, feeling rather amused by the statement.

“I guess we will.”

The brief moment of silence between you was interrupted by him clearing his throat, moving to grab the handle of the door for you at the same time you tried to do it yourself, ending with the both of you promptly colliding apologizing profusely while backing away from the door altogether.

“Sorry, I didn’t - sorry-” he cut himself off by reaching out to pull the door open for you again with an awkward laugh, not unlike your own. “I hope I’ll see you around here on a better note,” Dick finalized with one last apologetic grin, letting you slip past him and into the building.

“You mean when I’m not speed-walking away from creeps running around Bludhaven?” you chuckled in response, shouldering your bag off-handedly. “Definitely, I agree. Thank you, Dick.”

He made a show of dramatically tipping his hat towards you before turning on his heel, still smiling to himself.

“Pleasure’s mine.”

#pandemonium scrawl #dick grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dc #dc comics #dc multiverse #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x y/n #nightwing #nightwing x you #dc imagine #batfam imagine #fanfic #reader insert #reader imagine #gender neutral reader

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lostinthewiind · 4 years ago

Text

3AM in the City

Tetsurō Kuroo - Haikyuu

Synopsis: after high school, you don’t see Kuroo as much as you used to, and not nearly as much as you would like. The only exception is when he calls you up at 3AM to go for a drive—an offer you never turn down; and tonight’s events are exactly why you don’t.

Rating: PG

Warnings: some kissing, nothing you haven’t seen in the movies before kids. A little angsty if you squint?

As far as you knew, it was just another Friday night you would be spending at home alone, which you didn’t mind in the slightest. As much as you enjoyed going out just as much as the next person, you still knew how to appreciate a quiet night in by yourself.

Scrolling through your phone, the bright, white light illuminating your face in the otherwise pitch black room, you glanced up at the corner of the small device in your hands and took noticed of the time. 3AM.

Letting out a yawn, almost as if in response to realizing just how late it was, you shifted in bed a little, trying to decide if you should try to get some sleep or keep mindlessly prowling social media for a little while longer.

Before you could make up your mind, however, a notification for an incoming phone call took over your entire screen, startling you a little more than you would like to admit. A small smile toyed at the corners of your mouth as you read the caller ID and answered the call.

“Hello?” You pressed the phone to your ear and sighed, body ready to climb out of bed. You already knew why he was calling . . . it was the only reason he called anymore.

“Hey.” His voice was smooth and casual over the phone, indicating that he hadn’t just woken up, meaning he hadn’t slept at all yet; which wasn’t exactly uncharacteristic of Kuroo. “Did I wake you?”

You shook your head instinctively, even though he couldn’t see it. “No,” you answered. “Just lying in bed.”

There was a short pause before he spoke again. “Wanna go for a drive?”

You had already known before you answered the phone that you would be saying yes to his proposition, but instead of responding right away, you hummed softly, pretending to think about it—pretending you weren’t as eager to see him as you actually were.

“Sure.” You swung your legs over the side of your bed and started searching for some clothes in the dark, unwilling to turn on the bright overhead light and ruin the late-night trance that you enjoyed so much.

“Meet you in ten,” he said before hanging up.

“Yeah,” you sighed, even though he was no longer on the other line. Thankfully, you knew this was just the way that Kuroo was—he was just bad at talking over the phone—but you still wished he sounded even a little excited to see you after so long.

Pulling on the same outfit you had been wearing that day, purely because they were sitting at the end of your bed and had been easy to find, you tucked your phone into your pocket and fixed yourself up a little before heading out the door.

Like always, you waited at the street corner for Kuroo to drive up and pick you up. When he arrived almost exactly ten minutes after he had ended the phone call, you jumped into the passenger’s seat of the incredibly expensive and lavish car he drove. That vehicle was his pride and joy and sometimes you were honestly surprised he even let you inside of it considering how little he seemed to care about you lately.

Before you could even get your seat belt on, he was speeding away from the curb and heading out of your neighbourhood. Glancing over at the man you used to consider your best friend, you noticed the creases between his brows and the way his lips stretched into a thin, tight line. Something was bothering him, but then again, he didn’t ask you to accompany him on mindless cruises at 3AM when all was well in his life.

Knowing that it would be a couple of minutes before he warmed up to your presence and wanted to talk, you turned up the radio and watched the scenery pass by out the window. In the distance, you could see the glowing lights of downtown Tokyo, the bustling hub of the city that you usually avoided due to how busy and crowded it was.

The city in the middle of the night was a completely different story, however. Maybe it was the way the many colourful advertisements and store signs illuminated the dark night sky, or maybe it was the way the streets emptied out enough for the overwhelming aura to dissipate just enough, but driving through the streets at night brought you a sense of euphoric calm that simply couldn’t be obtained during daylight.

Looking back at Kuroo, you took note of how his face had relaxed, even if just a little. You watched his hands tense around the steering wheel, griping tight before relaxing and tapping his fingers against the leather. Feeling your eyes on him, he finally looked over at you and acknowledged your presence.

“How have you been?” he asked seemingly out of nowhere, as if he just realized he would have to make conversation with you eventually.

Your heart fluttered slightly, joy spreading through you at the thought that he genuinely cared about how you were doing. “Fine, thank you,” you told him. “And you?”

“Okay,” he lied. You knew it was a lie, because even though he had changed drastically since high school, he was still just as bad at bending the truth, especially when it came to you.

“That’s good.” You rested your head against the window and observed the passing buildings and how they grew taller and taller the further into the city Kuroo drove.

As silence consumed the inside of the car once more, you became keenly aware of the music playing in the background; so, when a certain song that brought back a lot of memories started playing, you noticed it before Kuroo.

Your eyes widened a little as you looked from the radio to Kuroo, waiting to see if he remembered it as well—hoping he remembered it.

Feeling your eyes on him once more, he cocked a dark brow in your direction. “What?”

“This song.” You gestured lazily to the speaker. “Do you remember it?”

Kuroo chewed on his bottom lip as he listened, and for a moment, you thought he had actually forgotten. Then, a wondrous smile spread across his dimly lit face and he nodded. “Yeah, course I remember.” His spirits seemed to have increased ten-fold. “You always insisted we play it, and every time we did, you would sing every single word. Without fail. Every. Single. Time.”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips. “What can I say? It’s a good song.” You turned up the volume a couple more notches.

This time, when the conversation ceased, the vehicle wasn’t filled to the brim with thick tension. Instead, you found yourself thinking back to your days in high school—those incredible three years that you would give anything in the world to return to. Back then, you and Kuroo had been nearly inseparable. Back then, you hadn’t had to fight for his attention.

Back then, you genuinely felt like he wanted to be around you.

Looking to your former-friend and now casual acquaintance, you watched him carefully as he drove, his eyes glued to the road in front of himself. You wondered what had happened. What had gone so wrong that he felt the need to distance himself from you? Had you done something to push him away . . . or was that just the way high school friendships played out?

The question as to what series of events had taken place to get you to where you were now was one that you were unable to answer. The only thing you knew for sure was that you missed Kuroo . . . more than you probably should, but you missed him nevertheless.

Feeling a sudden burst of confidence, either from the inspiring city lights or the nostalgic song, or maybe both, you shifted in your seat to face the man beside you and cleared your throat.

“Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you?” you asked matter-of-factly.

Kuroo glanced over at you for a split-second, blinking a few times in response. He was clearly taken aback by your sudden and direct inquiry, and you completely expected him to ignore you altogether or change the subject. What you didn’t expect was for him to turn into the nearest parking lot, park the car, and let out a long, exasperated sigh.

Worry and curiosity coursing through your veins, you sat silent and still, waiting for him to speak or move or do anything.

“I feel lost,” he finally said, his line of sight falling to his lap. There was a pause, and you were unsure if he was going to elaborate more or leave it at that. When you opened your mouth to respond, however, he continued. “Work takes up all of my time . . . so much so that I’m starting to realize I’ve cut ties with everyone I used to know without even noticing it; not until it was too late. And the worst part is, work isn’t even going well. This corporate ladder bullshit is way harder than I ever imagined. I feel stupid for throwing away everything I had for something I might not ever be able to obtain . . . for something I don’t even enjoy. It feels like it’s all for nothing.”

Your jaw dropped slightly. Kuroo had never been that open about his feelings with you before; not unless you had pried for days-on-end or he was plastered drunk.

You were unsure how to respond at first, so you did what you usually did when people came to you with a problem; you tried to put yourself in their shoes and then give the advice you thought you would want to hear.

“Well, I’m sure it’s not all for nothing,” you told him. “You didn’t get into business because you hated it. Sure, maybe the spark is a little dimmer right now or you’re going through a really rough patch . . . but don’t doubt yourself over one little bump in the road.”

Slowly, Kuroo turned his head toward you, his dark eyes landing on you for more than a few seconds for the first time that night. “But how do I know if it’s worth throwing everything else away over?”

“It’s not,” you said simply. “No job is worth throwing everything else in your life away over. But the best part is, you don’t have to choose between a career and a social life, and anyone who says you do is just plain lazy or insanely bad at time management.”

Kuroo cracked a smile at that and a puff of air that could be interpreted as a soft laugh passed his lips.

“So my advice is just try to do better from here on out.” You smiled back. “Everyone has a hard time every once in a while. If the people in your life truly care about you, they will understand.”

“Do you understand?” he asked.

This time, you didn’t hesitate at all. There was no need to play coy or pretend like you cared less than you really did. “I do.” You nodded. “I’ve missed you.”

Kuroo’s eyes softened and his small smile faltered for half a beat. “I’ve missed you too.”

Before you knew what was happening, Kuroo’s large hand was caressing your cheek and his lips were pressed against yours. Even though it was the middle of the night, you swore your entire world lit up at that moment. You had known you had wanted your best friend back, but this was so much better. This was more than you could have ever hoped for.

“I’ve been horrible to you.” Kuroo whispered against your lips, his fingertips trailing down the side of your neck and sending shivers up your spine. “I know this is a lot to ask . . . but can you ever forgive me?”

“Just promise to call me more than once a month . . . and maybe during the day sometimes,” you chuckled.

He laughed, his hot breath warming your face. “I can do that.”

“Then yes, I forgive you.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #lostinthewiind #kuroo #kuroo testuro #kuroo x reader #fanfiction #reader #reader insert #x reader #one shot #post-high school #spicy #fluff #3AM in the City

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kjack89 · 4 years ago

Note

E studying late in the library, R as the late-night security guard

The only sound that came from the far corner of the second floor of the library was the steady, and occasionally emphatic, clacking of laptop keys as Enjolras hunched over his laptop. He only paused to grab a sip of coffee or swipe a notification from Twitter off of his phone screen, and as the time crept past midnight, he showed no sign of slowing down.

At least, he showed no sign until, without warning, the lights turned off.

Enjolras looked up, his face lit only by his laptop screen. “Hello?” he called, but no one answered. “Is anyone there?”

Again, there was no answer, and Enjolras glanced at first the time on his phone screen and then at the document he was working on, which was no closer to being done than it had been when he had started working on it some two hours prior, and he groaned. “God damnit,” he sighed, standing up and grabbing his phone and, after only a moment of hesitation, his coffee.

He made his way to the stairs, guided by the dim glow of the exit sign. Luckily, the lights were on in the stairwell, and Enjolras made his way to the ground floor. The lights were also off on the first floor, and Enjolras scowled before catching sight of a light from an office behind the circulation desk.

Enjolras stalked over and rapped his knuckles against the desk. “Hello?” he called, peering into the office. There was a man in there, lounging in his chair, and Enjolras raised his voice. “Excuse me?” The man did not look up and Enjolras scowled in irritation before practically bellowing, “Excuse me!”

The man startled upright, blinking owlishly through the window at Enjolras before standing and making his way to the office door. “Can I help you?” he asked mildly, which caused Enjolras’s blood pressure to skyrocket.

“Someone turned the lights off,” he said stiffly.

The man raised one dark eyebrow. “Pardon?”

Enjolras ground his teeth together. “On the second floor,” he said. “Someone turned the lights off.”

Leaning casually against the doorway and crossing his arms in front of his chest – Enjolras tried not to stare at how his t-shirt stretched across his chest as he did – the man then had the audacity to smile at him. “I’m sure they did.”

“Right,” Enjolras said, tearing his eyes away from the tattoo on the man’s bicep. “Only, I’m trying to get some work done and that normally requires, y’know, light.”

The man nodded. “One might think.”

Enjolras counted to five in his head to try and stop from yelling. “Are you going to turn the lights back on?”

The man tugged at the collar of his university t-shirt as he considered it. “No.”

“What?”

“No, I’m not going to turn the lights back on.”

Enjolras stared at him, his mouth hanging open, before drawing himself up to glare at him. “And why the hell not?” he demanded.

The man shrugged. “Library closed at midnight.”

Enjolras blinked. “Since when?”

“Since we’re operating under summer break hours,” the man told him, sounding far too amused, and Enjolras scowled again.

“It’s May.”

The man smiled lazily at him. “Your grasp of the calendar year notwithstanding, the semester’s over, so the library is no longer open 24/7.”

Enjolras tried very hard not to seethe. “So you’re kicking me out.”

The man shrugged again. “I mean, I’m not gonna bodily remove you from the building or something, but yeah, I am gonna ask you nicely to leave, and if you refuse, I’ll probably have to call campus security.”

Enjolras’s brow furrowed. “You’re not campus security?”

“I’m library security,” the man corrected. “There’s a difference.”

“What’s the difference?” Enjolras asked sourly.

“Slightly less fascist,” the man said cheerfully, and Enjolras almost smiled. Keyword being almost. “Also I’m a student, and mostly I’m here to make sure folks swipe their IDs when they come in and to stop folks from walking out with books they haven’t checked out.”

Enjolras cocked his head. “And what’s the punishment for that?”

“Normally me escorting them to the checkout counter so that they can check them out.”

Enjolras huffed a dry laugh. “I’m not getting the vibe that you have a lot of authority here.”

The man chuckled. “That’s because I don’t.” He hesitated before adding, “My name’s Grantaire. And you are…?”

“Not sharing my name to prevent you from sharing it with campus security,” Enjolras replied coolly.

Grantaire grinned. “That’s a mouthful, your parents must’ve really hated you.”

Enjolras smiled slightly as well. “I mean, they did, but not for that reason.”

Grantaire took a step towards him. “If I promise not to report you, will you tell me your name?”

“How about you turn the lights on the second floor back on?” Enjolras countered.

“They’re on a timer, and I don’t have the means of overriding it, so unless you want me to stand up there holding my flashlight up for you to read by…”

Enjolras smirked. “Now that is a tempting thought.”

Grantaire gave him what Enjolras imagined he thought of as a pleading look. “C’mon, tell your name. I can go through the records of ID swipes, but I’d really rather not have to take that kind of time.”

“Why do you want to know my name so badly?” Enjolras asked.

“Because I have a feeling I’m going to be seeing a lot of you this summer,” Grantaire said archly. “Besides, I like to know the name of the cute guy I’ve been flirting with for the last fifteen minutes.”

Enjolras opened his mouth to scoff, or to tell him that this wasn’t flirting, or to do any number of things to rebuff the implication, but instead, what came out was, “Enjolras.”

Grantaire blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“My name is Enjolras.”

“Enjolras,” Grantaire repeated, a slow smile crossing his face. “Wow, your parents really did hate you.”

“Almost as much as yours,” Enjolras shot back, “naming you Grantaire.”

Grantaire laughed. “Like you said, mine did too, but not because of the name.” He hesitated. “Why don’t you work down here?”

Enjolras blinked. “What?”

“I can’t turn the lights back on upstairs, and the only lights are going to be in stairwells or around emergency exits, or here, at my desk. As comfortable as I imagine studying in the stairwell would be, I’m pretty sure I can rustle up another chair for you.”

The offer took him by surprise, and Enjolras hesitated, trying to find a good reason not to and coming up short. “Are you going to watch TV all night?”

Grantaire shrugged. “Maybe. But I can put some headphones on if it’ll bother you.”

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you sort of need to pay attention to the security of the building?”

“Yes, because I’m sure all of the students who have gone home for the summer are planning to break into the library,” Grantaire said dryly.

Enjolras laughed lightly. “Well, when you put it like that…”

Grantaire perked up. “So is that a yes?”

Enjolras hesitated for only a moment more before jerking a nod. “Let me grab my stuff.”

Grantaire grinned. I’ll be here.”

“I’m sure you will,” Enjolras muttered, turning around to grab his things from upstairs. He knew that he should just go home, or maybe move to Starbucks or the student union, both of which he was pretty sure were still open 24/7.

But if he was being honest, he was mostly just working to have something to do while he waited for Combeferre and Courfeyrac to get back to campus. And besides, whether or not it was flirting, if Enjolras was being entirely honest, he hadn’t entirely hated the conversation he’d had with Grantaire.

Even if Grantaire was two steps away from being a fascist cop.

His mind made up, Enjolras gathering his belongings and made his way back to the circulation desk, letting himself behind the desk and joining Grantaire back in the office, where, true to his word, Grantaire had procured another chair. “Voila,” Grantaire said, grinning up at him, and Enjolras set his stuff down on the desk, glancing at the computer screen, which was paused on an advertisement.

“What are you watching?” he asked.

Grantaire glanced at the computer as if he’d completely forgotten he was watching anything. “Oh, uh, Brooklyn Nine-Nine.”

“Seriously?” Enjolras demanded.

“Yeah, well, it’s quite popular—”

Enjolras snorted. “Sure, it’s copaganda repackaged into a sitcom, what’s not to love?”

Grantaire whistled lowly. “Wow, you must be fun at parties.”

“I make it my business not to attend too many parties,” Enjolras retorted.

Grantaire looked amused. “I’m not entirely sure that’s the comeback you think it is.”

Enjolras had realized the same thing, and flushed slightly. “Seriously, though, don’t you understand what role shows like Brooklyn Nine-Nine or Law & Order or—”

“Or Chicago PD or NCIS or CSI when it was still airing,” Grantaire continued, nodding officiously.

Enjolras glared at him. “My point,” he said icily, “is that these shows have engendered in the American public a tacit complicity in the ever-expanding and increasing militarization of our police.”

Grantaire nodded. “They sure do.”

“You agree with me?” Enjolras asked.

Grantaire raised an eyebrow. “That surprises you?”

Enjolras shrugged. “I mean, I was expecting even boilerplate pushback about how it’s ‘just a show’ or something like that.”

“Entertainment is as much a reflection of society as it is a tool to shape it,” Grantaire said, propping his feet up on the desk. “Only an idiot would argue against that.”

“And I’m meant to believe you’re no idiot,” Enjolras said dryly. “So then are you just...ok with the militarization of our police?”

Grantaire sighed. “Of course not.”

“Ok, so you acknowledge the role shows like this play, and you are against said role, but you’re watching it anyway?”

Grantaire considered it for a moment. “Yeah, sounds about right,” he said cheerfully.

Enjolras stared at him. “But...why?”

“Because I believe you can critically engage with the media you consume while also, y’know, consuming it,” Grantaire said. “Besides, it’s funny.” Enjolras shook his head slowly but Grantaire didn’t let him speak, instead patting the seat next to him invitingly. “Look, you and I can and probably will argue about this all night, but how about you sit for it? I’m getting a crick in my neck looking up at you.”

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

“Really?” Grantaire asked mildly. “I would think you of all people would be more in favor of an egalitarian seating arrangement.”

Even though Enjolras glared at him, he nonetheless sat down. “Fine,” he said stiffly. “But don’t think that this conversation is done.”

Grantaire grinned at him. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, I’ve got all night. Are you going somewhere?”

This time, Enjolras didn’t hesitate. “I’m not going anywhere.”

#Enjolras #Grantaire #Enjolras x Grantaire #exr #enjoltaire #ask #answered #hey nonny #les miserables #fanfiction #one shot #modern au #developing relationship #prompt fill #Anonymous

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rhysismydaddy · 4 years ago

Text

Felons pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nessian multichapter. Next part out probably Monday. As always, this one just sets up some stuff so it’s kinda boring. This one’s probably going to be long. And an emotional roller coaster. Just letting you know :)

Lightly based off the book The Witness. I say lightly because I’ve actually never even read this book, but my mom told me about it. ALSO no offense to anyone who’s from/lives in Nebraska lol.

Cassian swiveled around in his chair and looked at his partner with raised brows. “She’s in Nebraska?”

“That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”

Someone’s a little testy today. He ignores the tone and repeats, “But... Nebraska? What the hell is she doing there? And why did it take us so long to find her?”

Azriel gives him a tight look, and he realizes the reason for his pissy attitude. He’s annoyed it took him so long to track her down.

Before he can tell his partner it isn’t his fault, he says, “She isn’t doing much. She’s completely off the grid. Which answers your second stupid question, too.”

“Okay... how off the grid are we talking?”

The woman had grown up in a penthouse, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t imagine her living in the middle of nowhere without any of the comfort she’d lived with her entire life.

“No cell phone or bank records for the last two years. The last time she was seen by any sort of traffic camera was before that, and it was in Atlanta.” He scrolls through something on his desktop with a frown. “From what I can tell, she took all her money out in cash and hoped on a bus.”

Nothing about that sounded like the woman he’d been reading about, but he wasn’t about to argue with Azriel in such a bad mood. “So she went straight to Nebraska?”

“I don’t know.”

His least favorite answer. “How’d you find her, anyway?”

“Well, I figured that unless she was sleeping under a bridge, she had to be paying rent somewhere. So I went state by state, looking at new property purchases under her known aliases.” Azriel sighs, running a hand through his dark hair. “But that didn’t pull up any results, so I looked at all the IDs on new renter’s insurance purchases until I matched one to her.”

His eyebrows rose. “That’s...”

“Tedious as shit.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s why it took so damn long,” he mutters. “She’s been careful, Cass. I mean really, really careful.”

A laugh bubbled out of him at that. “Well, she should be. She’s a felon.”

~Nesta~

Nesta’s breath clouded in front of her as she ran up the hill, panting like crazy. Even though she’d taken up running after the move, she still fucking hated it. Especially when it was cold.

Which, in Nebraska, was somehow year round.

Even the summers here were cold compared to back home-

No. Not home.

This was home now.

California was slowly, painfully becoming a distant memory, and she had to constantly force herself to remember that Mackenzie Brooks had never lived there. She was born in Michigan. She has no family or friends. Her hobbies include reading and running (the last of which was a definite mistake to include).

And she was her.

God, it honestly was a miracle she hadn’t slipped up yet.

Maybe it was still the fear that drove her. Maybe it was just that she knew she could never go back to her old life. No matter that she wanted to.

No matter that she’d picked up and left without a word. No matter that her sisters probably thought she was dead.

Thankfully, she made it to the top of the hill before she passed out or died, and she bent over, sucking down the freezing air. It was only October, but it was already cold enough to force her to wear three layers and a beanie.

Despite being miserable and cold, she forced herself to go through her training course.

Because it couldn’t just be enough to be fit enough to run away anymore. If the person chasing her was faster...

Nesta punched her hand through the target, satisfied when the wood cracked down the middle. Her knuckles luckily had gotten used to the abuse, so when she ducked under the branch and struck again, another target went flying.

By the time she was done, her hands and arms were tired and her body was aching for a bath.

Or two hours on a warm, sunny beach.

Since only one of those things was bound to actually happen, she trudged back to her cabin, praying the hot water would hold out long enough for a full bath.

One thing about Blair, Nebraska was that somehow, the less than ten thousand people who lived here were always experiencing a water shortage.

It rivaled the cold ass weather for her least favorite thing about the place as a very close second.

Noticing who was parked in front of her small little house, she grimaced and amended her statement. Lack of hot water was actually third, second only to the one and only Sheriff Marks.

He spun around when he finally heard her steps, smiling a big, ugly, fake smile. “Miss Brooks.”

“Marks.”

According to small-town social guidelines, she was being beyond rude for not calling him Sheriff. But he was a short, ugly, annoying man, and she didn’t hold an ounce of respect for him.

And because she wasn’t completely fake, she didn’t bother hiding it.

“What are you doing on my property?”

His smile dimmed as his eyes beady eyes narrowed slightly. “I wanted to see how you’re doing. You never come into town. And here in Blair, we take care of each other.”

That right there was the reason for her dislike; Sheriff Marks was an insatiably curious man.

And ever since she’d shown up a year ago, he’d been trying to put together the puzzle of why a moderately attractive young woman would move to the middle of butt-fucking nowhere.

“I’m fine.”

She wanted to walk by him and go inside, where she could blissfully lock him out, but she had a list of rules now, and not putting her back to people she didn’t know or like was at the top of it.

“Okay, sure, but-”

“Listen, Marks. I appreciate this... gesture, but I moved here to be left alone. I’d appreciate it if you would respect that.” It was the most she’d ever said to him, and he looked a little shocked. “I think I’ve made it more than clear.”

His face went somehow even ruddier, and for a split second, she regretted the harsh words.

She couldn’t have people caring about her, though. When people cared, they stopped by more and felt entitled to know your business. Neither of which were things she wanted.

So she just raised a brow and shot a meaningful glance to his cruiser.

“Yes. It’s perfectly clear exactly who you are.”

She almost rolled her eyes at the attempted insult, thankful when he finally turned to leave. As he was pulling away, she united her muddy shoes and got her house key from her sock, grimacing at how tight her back was when she stood up.

Inside, she went through and made sure every door and window was locked, a habit she’d picked up two years ago and hadn’t been able to shake.

God apparently was looking out for her today, because when she finally made it upstairs, there was enough hot water to fill the tub.

When she sunk down to her shoulders and closed her eyes, enjoying the moment of peace. But then images of her sisters’ faces, the ocean, and her old home popped up uninvited in her head.

It was always quiet moments like these when she found it the hardest to shake the memories of who she used to be. And since Nebraska was always fucking quiet...

Nesta reminded herself of why she was here; why it had been necessary to leave. She reminded herself that her family was safer with her gone, that she was safer.

But the hole in her chest refused to listen and close up.

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she was too tired to even brush it away and chastise herself. Because for the first time in twenty-five years, she admitted she was lonely.

She’d been alone for most of her life, but there was a difference between alone and lonely. Even when she’d isolated herself from her family and friends, they’d still been there for her.

But now... she had no one here. And she’d never felt so alone in her life.

It was horrible enough to make her consider going back, despite the risks.

This is home now, she told herself, dunking under the water to wash away the thoughts hounding her. You didn’t work your ass off to get safe just to bitch out after a year.

Coming up and gasping for air, she went through her cover, just like she did every night.

“My name is Mackenzie Brooks, nickname Mackie. I’m from Michigan, but I moved to Nebraska last year to start over. I like to read and run. I’m twenty-five.” Taking a deep breathe, she finished, “I don’t have any family.”

No amount of time under the water could ebb the sting of those words, though.

~Cassian~

Cassian was honestly a little surprised he hadn’t gotten fired.

He absolutely hated his orders, and he’d made that more than clear. They’d come straight from Command and “weren’t negotiable,” but that didn’t mean he hadn’t tried.

Calling his boss a two-faced asshole might’ve been a bit much, but it felt justified in the moment.

Because in all the time he’d spent searching for Nesta Archeron, he’d always pictured the day he’d finally track her down and slap some cuffs on her wrists, haul her away to jail.

He’d never imagined he’d be given orders to find out what she knew first.

And he’d also never imagined having to do so in fucking Nebraska.

An hour in the state, and he already hated it. He was from Boston, so he didn’t mind the cold weather, but the lack of buildings over thirty feet was a shock to the system.

That, alongside the fact that everyone here was wearing some form of plaid, only worsened his mood.

It wasn’t like he cared about her or anything, but he’d never really liked undercover work. Deceiving a woman--no matter that she was a criminal--never felt right to him.

But orders were orders.

He had to find out why she’d run, what she knew about what had happened, and if she had any proof. The goal was to get it all recorded, so he had to carry around a stupid little tap recorder in his jacket pocket.

Maybe she’d meet him and just spill her guts immediately. That’d be ideal, but it seemed pretty fucking unlikely. At the very least, he’d have to get her to trust him enough to talk about the events of two years ago.

He drove the crappy old truck Azriel had gotten him through the small town, gaining the eyes of pretty much every person he passed.

Not a lot of new people, apparently.

Ignoring them, he drove to the address of a small house on the outskirts of town. Or home for however long it took him to get close to her.

Gods, I hope she’s talkative, he thought, walking up the creaky stairs and shouldering the door open.

Quiet and small, but at least it was clean.

Throwing his bag down, Cassian grabbed his laptop and started to get to work.

Three hours and a trip to the grocery store later, he’d learned absolutely nothing Nesta--or Mackenzie Brooks, rather.

There had been nothing online, and no one in the store had much to say besides, “She moved here a year ago. Keeps to herself.”

Great.

Luckily, he had a reason to go see her. They were neighbors. Kind of.

Her house was further out of town than his, and she owned the land around it, so she didn’t actually have neighbors. But he lived within a two mile radius, so he counted it.

Which is why he found himself sitting in her gravel driveway, eyebrows high on his forehead, staring at the place.

And for the first time, he questioned if Azriel was right.

Because the woman he’d read about... she definitely didn’t seem the type to live here.

The porch was missing floor boards, the roof was caving in on one side, and the paint on the outside of the house was peeling off. The only thing that looked somewhat new was the front door.

It had three locks and seemed to be a little heavy duty compared to the house, which made it stand out in a pretty obvious way.

Stepping out of the car, he walked up to get a better look, avoiding the holes in the floor. The house was quiet, and he knocked on the door, finding it to be solid and heavy.

No answer.

He knocked again, waiting a few minutes. Then he decided to be nosy and peek in the window.

A couch and dining table were all that was visible, furthering his opinion that she couldn’t actually live here.

She’d grown up in one of the nicest apartment buildings in California. Her father had been a wealthy real-estate tycoon. She’d gone to private school and sailing camp, for Christ’s sake.

There was no way she lived here.

That theory was proven very soundly incorrect a second later when he felt something tap the back of his head. Repressing the jump that rose from not hearing anyone sneak up on him, he straightened and turned around.

And found himself looking down the barrel of a shotgun into the surprisingly beautiful, angry face of Nesta Archeron.

“You have five seconds to get the hell off my porch.”

Shock ran through his system like lightening. For a few reasons, the least of which was the gun.

For starters, pictures didn’t at all do her justice, because she was probably the most attractive thing Cassian had ever laid eyes on. And that was with mud splattered on her face, hair in a ponytail, and athletic clothes covering her thin frame.

Then there was the fact that Azriel had been completely correct. Nesta Archeron, pampered little trust fund princess, was living here. In Nebraska. Completely off the grid. By herself.

The gun was also a surprise, but not as much as the way she was holding it. Her feet were squared, her shoulders lined up to absorb the kickback if she fired. She looked... she looked like she knew what she was doing.

She raised a brow, reminding him of the fact that he still hadn’t spoken.

And remembering who he was supposed to be, what he was supposed to do, he ignored the gun and smiled broadly. “Or what?”

“Or I will shoot you,” she responded calmly, hand pulling back the fore-end to load the gun with a snap.

“You aren’t going to shoot me,” he assured her. “I brought you a pie.” He held up the baked good and grinned. It was from the grocery store, but it still counted, right? “It’s blueberry.”

“What? Who the fuck are you? And why are you here?”

Sticking out a hand that she ignored, he said, “Cassian. I’m here because I just moved in to the place about a mile from here, and I wanted to meet my neighbors. I gotta say, I’m loving the hospitality.”

Nesta ignored the joke and asked incredulously, “You moved here?”

He nodded.

She just narrowed her eyes, not buying it apparently.

Good God, “stand-off-ish” didn’t begin to cover it.

He was having a difficult time wrapping his head around the fact that this was the same woman who’d gone to UC Santa Barbara, liked to surf, and had dated a movie star.

“But what about the-”

“I hate pie.”

He scoffed, leaning against the crumbling wall of her house like he was unbothered by the rejection in her voice. “No one hates pie.”

Nesta shrugged, jerking her chin towards his truck in a clear get the fuck out manner.

“I’ll leave if you tell me your name,” he bargained, acting like he didn’t know who she was already.

There was a pause of silence, and a bit of sadness seeped into her bright blue eyes. “Mackenzie.”

Mackenzie Brooks, one of her aliases.

“Pretty name.”

“Leave.”

“Sweetheart, I honestly can’t believe you’re trying so hard to get rid of me. I’m the best looking guy around here.”

That might very well be true, considering he hadn’t seen a single person under the age of fifty when he’d gone out earlier.

“And what if I’m not looking for a man?”

“I have a female cousin you could date instead.”

Her lips twitched, and it made him a little too happy to see. “If I take the pie, will you leave?”

“Counteroffer. We split the pie, then I’ll leave.”

Her eyebrows go up. “Who the hell offers someone half a pie?”

“I was planning on giving you the whole pie, but I didn’t know you’d be so beautiful. And feisty.” He ran his eyes over her slowly. “A quality I never even knew I liked.”

“The urge to shoot you just increased.”

Cassian waggled his eyebrows. “So passionate.”

Nesta just sighed, finally lowering the gun. She engaged the safety and leaned it against the door, then snatched the pie from his hands and walked to the porch railing.

He noticed she didn’t turn her back to him the entire time, and she she kept the gun in arm’s reach.

What the hell had she been through?

His train of thought was cut off when he heard a splat. Nesta came back to him, one crumpled half of the pie lying upside down in the lid, the other in the original container. She shoved the crumpled half toward him. “Now leave.”

“How did you even cut it? Do you have a knife hidden between your breasts?”

It was a miracle she didn’t slap him for that one. She just narrowed her eyes again and said, “Yes.”

He honestly believed her.

Cassian sighed, knowing he had to actually leave now. “Well, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but it’ll do. It was lovely to meet you, Mackenzie.”

“Please just leave.”

Ouch.

He laughed and walked to his truck, calling out, “I’ll see you soon, neighbor!”

Nesta frowned at that, but he ignored it and grinned back.

She stood on the porch watching him drive away until he was a certain distance, then picked up her stuff and unlocked the door.

Well, Azriel had definitely been right: she was being very, very careful.

But why?

Cassian had no idea, but he was definitely going to find out.

_____________________________________________________

Part 2

@sjm-things @santas-dwynwen @thebitchupstairs @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @highqueenofelfhame @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

#nessian #nessian fanfiction #cassian #nesta archeron #nesta #cassian x nesta #acotar #acotar fanfiction #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight

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gaymershigh · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! I saw your askbox and open and read your rules and you are right, it's not often I see Male×Male reader inserts in the TWST fandom. So, I'd thought I'd request some to help the cause! If I may, can I request some headcannons of dorm leaders of TWST×Male!Reader who is in their dorm and has been noticeably stressed in their schoolwork and one night is seen super stressed out and the dorm leader's fellow students pull the reader aside and hand the reader over to the dorm leader because the reader refuse to listen to anyone else?

Of course you may! Tbh, this is such a nice request, I enjoy doing multiple characters, but it's so difficult for me to write for Azul and Vil in this hc for some reason??

REMINDER: Don't overwork yourself just because you don't think it's enough! The fact that you're trying is already amazing! Please remember to take care of your health because you matter! 💜

Triggers: None!

Dorm Leaders dealing with a stressed Male!Reader

Ever since Riddle got a text from Trey and its about his boyfriend doing his schoolwork on ungodly hours he was worried, very worried.

He wants to come to you and make a 2 hour speech about how you shouldn't overwork yourself but he barely has anytime as well, he's a very busy man as well.

So he decided to order your friends, Ace and Deuce to tell you to not overwork yourself. Hell, he even prepared a script for them.

Of course, it didn't work. It was so obvious it was from a script because Deuce sounds so robotic and Ace kept correcting Deuce. Your stubbornness makes it even more awkward and worse.

He ordered Trey and Cater this time, with a whole new script too.

They did a good job and all, but it also failed because your ass is so stubborn and Cater is pretty impatient and kept using his phone.

This only made you stressed out even more because these mofos probably dont understand how you feel.

Deuce's dense ass noticed this and told Ace about it. And that's how Ace got a big brain idea.

You were screaming, usually, the ADeuce duo usually stays at your dorm to chill while you do your work and NOT drag you to their dorm.

They shoved you to Riddle's room and what you're not expecting was your boyfriend showing a very worried face.

He immediately hugged you tightly before you could say a word. He cupped your face and caressed your cheek.

“My sweetheart, please don't overwork yourself, it's unhealthy for you. From now on, only work yourself for 2 hours max. Come now, let's drink some tea together.”

He knows that something's up when you haven't been hanging out with him for a while.

He misses his herbivore so much, he misses cuddling his boyfriend but he's too prideful to admit.

When he found out you've been doing your schoolwork 24/7 by Ruggie, his response is indecisive but on the inside he's bothered.

Since he's too lazy to move on his very comfortable position, he threatened ordered his dorm members to convince you to stop overstressing yourself.

Knowing Savanaclaw, of course they failed, there was no hope to begin with. It was a disaster. They tried but they're way too intimidating for you to even listen to their words. Thank god Ruggie was there to bail them out so it wasn't too awkward.

This made Leona very moody. Not only he cannot snuggle with you, his plan failed and he now forces himself to sleep alone in pain. Boohoo.

Ruggie can't stand this man's temper tantrums so he just snatched you away from your dorm and toss you to a sleeping Leona.

The lazy lion woke up immediately when he recognized your scent. Since he's still sleepy however, he just pulled you to his bed and hugged you close with his tail wrapped on your leg

“Hmph, you chose your schoolwork over me and had the audacity to not meet up for the entire week? You're not going anywhere this time, especially with you in my arms.”

He won't blame you to be honest. He overworks himself too and ignore your warnings multiple times. However, that doesn't mean he's not going to do anything about it.

He at least has time to spend with you but you didn't. Of course that made the octopus upset and he's not gonna five up when it comes to you.

He stalks you everytime he gets the chance. Your stressed expression really displeases him. He wants to do something about this so bad but he doesn't want to disturb his already stressed boyfriend.

Jade caught on to Azul's bizarre behavior and he cam up with an idea to surprise both of you.

“Kidnapping shrimpy? Ok!” of course Floyd would say yes, it's Floyd.

You're screaming in distress and confusion. Just a second ago you were messaging your temples because you couldn't mesmerize what Mr. Trein taught you and now you're getting kidnapped by the Leech twins, what a surprise. An unwelcome one at that.

Azul was shocked when he hears your cries as the twins dropped you off his room, still tied in ropes and leaving like nothing happened.

Azul untied you, explaining theories as to why they would do such things, but when he does got the right answer, he blushed in embarrassment. He caused this.

He placed a soft kiss and holds your hand gently.

“I apologize for causing a huge ruckus. It's just I missed you when you barely replied to my calls and texts and you kept working and that made me worried sick! I'm sorry that I sound selfish but.. Could you stay here a bit longer, please?”

Oh dear. How could you say no to that?

Ok first of all how could you even ignore him? He always keep coming to you and basically screaming at you.

Your stress may could have took the you over and may accidentally snapped at him for being too noisy.

This made him sad and left the room. BUT HEY AT LEAST YOU GOT SOME PEACE AND QUIET AM I RIGHT?

But if you think that's gonna make him upset??? You're his wonderful boyfriend! His treasure! No matter what, just seeing thinking of you makes him happy again.

This didn't last as you kept ignoring his daily chat with you and his messages and calls. This wasn't okay.

This genuinely made him stressed as well, he probably doesn't even exist to you anymore. Despite it just being 2 days if felt like forever since you talk to him or even looking at him with a smile.

Kalim wanted to spend fun times with his boyfriend like always. Not just sit there and look at him groaning at the worksheet every now and then.

He missed you so much. Even though he sees you, it just doesn't feel the same.

He got less happier as the days go by, everyone got worried sick. Even Jamil felt disturbed about it, usually he would be living the life when Kalim's quiet.

Everything's the usual today. Kalim visiting you and he's quiet again. You of course felt bad but you really need to pass this test.

But out of nowhere, you kept getting text messages from Jamil screaming to you about talking to Kalim and how pathetic he looks when sad.

When you turned around, your heart shattered to pieces. There it is, a sad Kalim in tears, curling himself on your bed to at least have your scent on him.

You stopped what you're doing and hop on tour bed and press his face against the crook of your neck, muttering sorry.

“Ahhh! I miss you so much,habibi!(my love) please don't overwork yourself and ignore me! I love you so much and seeing you date your homework then dating me hurts me! Please dont leave me! I'll be the best boyfriend ever!”

Who do you think you are, to ignore your lover's calling just for a paper of misery? How foolish.

Vil understood that your future is important to you, but do you really need to worry when you're dating the Vil Schoenheit? The beautiful, rich man who spoils you every single day?

Not only that, stress causes wrinkles and you're also ruining your sleep schedule?! Unacceptable.

He kept ranting to you about how greasy your hair and how big the bags under your eyes are.

To the point you have to lock your door to refrain him for entering and rant. You're already stressing out and there's literally no way you're going to hear about your dramatic boyfriend moan about your appearance.

He kept calling and texting you and you also ignore that. If anything you gave good morning texts or either leave him on read.

And he's not tolerating that.

His job was easier to handle than the others. He can just ask Rook to kidnap you and he would oblige and do so in an instant.

And he just did that.

Unlike the others, you know exactly what's going to happen when Rook is violently dragging you to Pomefiore. He's going to put you in Vil's room, listen to him rant for a few hours and do beauty things or whatever.

Well, have of that did happen when Rook closed Vil's door. He did rant but what your not expecting was him being very gentle and sweet.

“I knew it, you got increasingly worse. Oh well, I will refix this mess later. But for now, you should rest right beside me. No leaving no matter the circumstances, you understand, potato?”

I mean, of course you're gonna ignore him, he's just a gross, weeby loser. There's no way he can impact your life positively in any single way. If anything, he probably causes trouble to his you anyway.

He doesn't really wanna stop you, he really cherishes you and your choices even if they're not good and losing someone like you is probably gonna take years to move on to.

Poor Ortho, he needs to hear his brother rant about his boyfriend not being able to see nor play games with because he's busy working himself.

But this made Ortho worry. Not only id his brother is sad but you're risking your health to do schoowork! That's no good.

This made you confused. Ortho kept muttering about your health status to himself everytime you pass by the hallways.

And everyday, your stress levels increase and your health is deteriorating.

He needs to make you rest at all cost but he knows your stubborn. So he has to do one thing that makes your knees weak.

His very own special puppy eyes.

Ortho innocently dragged you to Idia without either of you guy's knowledge.

When Idia finds out, he immediately apologized for the inconvenience he caused and you might have to be the one to comfort him.

“I'M SERIOUSLY SO SORRY! I just really wanted to play games with you and hangout with you like usual.. Eh? You will?? REALLY!?”

At first, the fae didn't even realise you are stressing despite showing a few signals.

Until you start ignoring him. Then you got a pouty Malleus. (aw)

He doesn't understand why you're struggling with Mr. Divus' homework, it seems so easy to him, why is it so hard for you?

That made you upset and he still doesn't know why.

He never had a boyfriend like you before so of course he's not gonna understand gen z struggles. Spare him please.

Lilia gave him some tips, only for it to be tricks and make you more upset. snide mf

Seeing a sad Malleus made Sebek upset, then mad.

He asked Lilia what's wrong with his young master.

And when he found out you're replacing him with your schoolwork and then for some reason 'stressing' about it??

How rude!

Sebek kept nagging at you to stop working and pay attention to your damn boyfriend but you couldn't care less about Sebek and his shenanigans.

You only start sweating when he suddenly yanked your arm and dragged you to Diasomnia.

And what you see is a pouty Malleus playing with his little game.

When you sat next to him, he immediately wrapped you in his arms.

“My darling, I plead for you not to pressure yourself in something that only destroys you even more. What progress you have done is enough for today but as of now, you need rest. Release all your negativity away, love.”

This is literally my second work but I already feel like a failure.

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

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kikilefangirl · 4 years ago

Text

New Light

Barry Allen x Reader

(Quick Note: Happy Inauguration Day! After all the craziness and stress four years in the making, I wanted to write someone as kindhearted and sweet as Barry Allen.)

(Word Count: 1837)

“I’m on my way, Felicity, my train was running late—“

A hard shoulder slamming into your chest cut you off mid sentence and knocked you all the way to the hard ground.

Between the roar of trains coming in and out of the platform, shuffling footsteps, and your friend’s worried yelling through the phone, disoriented was a nice way of putting it. Your still head was spinning as you stumbled to your feet.

“Oh my, oh my god, I am so sorry—let me, uh— and you’re...already...up.” He rambled.

So it was a man who ran into you. And he was going on and on nervously as he picked up your fallen items. He had a thin build and dark hair, but you could only focus on his clumsy hands and apologetic eyes.

“It’s totally fine, just be careful next time.” You joked and pushed your braids away from your face.

The man rose to his feet and held your phone and purse out towards you. As you took them and gave him your best smile. There was something about his absentmindedness that was kind of charming and intriguing.

“I, uh, um...Barry Allen. I’m Barry Allen....Barry is my name.” He said.

You held in your laugh for fear of flustering him more and settled on a curious gaze. Barry wiped a hand on his back pocket and offered it to you.

“Nice to meet you, Barry. I’m Y/N.” You replied as you shook his hand.

You decided to omit the Queen part of your name, for now. Barry seemed sweet and genuinely interested in you. Having a dead father, a brother back from the dead, an out of control sister, and a mother on trial for mass murder tended to scare away any potential partners. You shifted your weight.

You had to get going sooner rather than later, but not wanting to let Barry go just yet, you took out a pen out of your purse and wrote your number on his palm.

“Try not to mow anyone else down today, and maybe give me a call if you're still in town, Barry.” You told him.

He stuttered through a response and turned a bright pink. You nodded with a smile and promptly walked off to your awaiting car.

“Barry Allen.” You repeated his name out loud once inside and heat built up in your cheeks. You hoped he’d call.

...

Oliver was waiting in his office for you when you walked up to the entrance of Queen Consolidated.

Pushing through the glass doors, you didn’t spare a second thought on the curious stares people sent you, you had spent your whole life getting them. A ping on your phone made you smile as soon as you saw it.

Sorry I ran you over earlier...I don’t really know places to go out here, but I could find somewhere if you still wanted to go out with me?—Barry Allen (from the train station, sorry again!)

A warm, bubbly feeling took over your whole body. Barry gave you a feeling you had rarely experienced: he was genuinely good. You needed some positivity in the midst of your chaotic life.

Before you could reply back, a woman’s voice and body stood in your way. You had only made it to the front desk.

“Excuse me—“

“No unauthorized personnel, here.” She explained.

Your eyes narrowed into slits as you looked up from your phone. Tons of other people were free and clear to pass by, but of course you, the black girl was stopped. Clicking your tongue, you tried to move past her.

“Do you have an ID for Queen Consolidated? If you don’t I’m going to have to ask you to leave before I call the police.” She said.

Bullshit.

“My name is Y/N Queen. Move.” You sniped. You were already running late as it was, but today of all days a white girl just had to try you.

“I’ve never heard of you. I’m calling the police.” She threatened. Her hand was already on the buttons. You huffed. What had started as an annoyance had escalated into full blown danger.

You quickly dialed your brother’s number. He picked up on the second ring.

“You’re late, Y/N.” Oliver chastised from the other end.

“Actually, I’m downstairs being blocked from the elevator, in a building we own, and a company we have shares in. Get down here, now.”

For a few tortuous minutes, you stood there waiting at a stalemate. The security was bounding down the steps; they were big men in dark suits and earpieces.

You ran your tongue on the roof of your mouth, a mix of anger and fear and shame. Oliver wasn’t supposed to bail you out. You were just as much a Queen as he was and should’ve had the same access as he did. You ground your teeth and folded your arms.

You were relieved when the elevator dinged and Oliver stepped out of it.

His eyes widened in surprise for a split second, before the realization of what was happening sunk in. To anyone that didn’t know him, Oliver might have looked calm. But the clenched jaw, pulled back lip corners and the way he furled and unfurled his hands as he adjusted his suit said otherwise.

“Who told you that you could physically block and try to remove my sister from the area?” He said with a straight face, staring directly at the woman.

You smirked as she stumbled through a range of bullshit excuses and ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Queen’ over and over again to no avail.

Oliver protectively ushered you into the elevator, but before the doors could close you yelled, “Might wanna see who’s hiring!”

On the way up, you brushed off Oliver’s questions and concerns. You had lived your entire life black, this was nothing new to you. But after five years away, it probably was to him. You weren’t a teenager standing by his or your dad’s side anymore.

“I’m fine, Ollie. Drop it, please.” You pleaded.

“That woman was going to call the police on you, Y/N.” He continued, still bewildered.

“I get that being on that island wasn’t your fault, but I’ve held my own as a black woman for five years without you or dad. Things like that are just a part of the package.” You explained.

As the two of you stepped off the elevator, you softened when he gave you a long hug. It was his apology, and you leaned in, accepting it. Five years was a long time away.

“I only came by to check in on you. With the break in and all, plus Mom’s party tonight...” You trailed off.

Oliver offered a small smile as the two of you rounded the corner. You blinked in surprise when you saw none other than Barry Allen talking to Felicity. Your mood instantly brightened.

“Barry!” You called out. At the sound of his name, he saw you and fell flat on his face. Clumsiness was becoming a theme between you two. You hurried over and helped him up.

“I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed, but Barry stared at you, confused. You held Barry’s full attention as if no one else was in the room. It was refreshing, really.

“Hi-hi again, Y/N...What are you doing h-here?” He asked. You held Barry’s full attention as if no one else was in the room. It was refreshing, really. Too bad Oliver had to ruin it.

“Barry, how do you know my little sister?” He said it, more than asked it.

Oliver gave Barry an icy glare. The threat in his voice may have had an effect on everyone else, but it made you roll your eyes in annoyance. He just had to add the little sister part. Barry straightened up and swallowed nervously, his Adam’s apple bobbing in the process.

Damn it, Oliver. You two were very hot and cold lately and it bothered you to no end.

“I met him this morning, Ollie, mind your business.” You snapped. You turned back to Barry and smiled.

“There’s a party at our house tonight, you should drop by if my idiot brother doesn’t kill you first. Text me for the address.” You declared. Your eyes burned with defiance as you stormed off, matching Oliver’s mood. You guessed you really were siblings.

As you left, you hoped Barry would show.

...

The annual Queen family Christmas party was honestly, the most awkward two hours of your life.

You, Moira, Thea, and Oliver stood in an almost empty living room. The only guests seemed to be the caterers. Barry hadn’t texted you, either.

“Maybe...people got lost on the way.” You offered. Moira smiled at you and patted your shoulder.

“Thank you, dear, but we all know the real reason. Nobody wants to be seen with the likes of me.” She said. She was right. You shot her an apologetic look and handed her another drink.

Oliver took the opportunity to whisk you away from your mother and sister, “Y/N, help me with the drinks, please.”

You obliged without protest. You had already been stood up by half the city and Barry. Family really was all you had.

“What, Ollie?” You asked in an exasperated tone.

“I know that you took on a lot, while I was on the island. And I know that being the oldest wasn’t easy, especially for you in the public eye. I read the tabloids.”

Oliver’s admission made you a little teary eyed. He was the first person in the family to truly consider you family. He was your big brother. He caught up on all of the horrible headlines and rumors that swirled about you after the news broke about the Queen’s Gambit.

“Which is why I invited someone special, tonight. For you.” Oliver said. You raised a brow in confusion.

“I’m not that great over text.” You turned around and your mouth dropped open a little. It was Barry, in a really nice suit looking finer than ever. You gave him a hug and he took your hand.

“I’m also not a great dancer, I’ll try not to step on your toes.” He admitted. You led him to the dance floor and nodded to the musicians.

“Don’t worry about it. There isn’t much of a crowd to judge you.” You joked.

You and Barry swayed to the music, talking and laughing the whole way through. Barry Allen, you found, really was the ray of light you needed in the moment. The past few months were some of the hardest in your life, filled with dark moments and uncertainty.

As Barry held you and told you corny science jokes and yes, stepped on your toes once or twice, you realized you had never met anyone as sweet and as kind as him.

When the night was over, you couldn’t help but look forward to the next time you saw him.

#black!reader #poc!reader #dctv #barry allen #barry allen x reader #oliver queen #Oliver Queen x platonic! reader #Oliver Queen x sister! reader #the flash #arrow

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imagine-that-one-thing · 3 years ago

Text

Styles. || 16

Yellow

The journey to LA was far from easy, and it was more than Jamie and I both expected to the point I had to convince Jamie not to back out on the plans and ideas. LA was a learning curve for both of us, and it was exhausting in every way possible. I did not expect things to be easy, but I don't think Jamie suspected the events to be as hard as they were. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. From our hotel being overbooked and having to find a new hotel to our clients signing the false documents. Everything with the entire trip went wrong from the beginning.

My phone vibrates against my desk. At first, I ignore it, but I glance over to glimpse at the caller ID-- A photo of Elise and me lights up the screen. I'm surprised to observe Elise calling at this hour. I slide across and answer my phone, "Hey, love," I greet, uncertain of why Elise is calling me at ten at night. I spoke to her earlier while she was walking to class. We had agreed to see each other tomorrow since I just got off my flight this morning. I place my papers in a file to keep private as I lean back in my chair.

"Harry," Elise attempts to keep her voice steady, but I can tell something is wrong.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Small problem," Elise sniffles, "My car broke down, my phone is almost dead, and my essay is due in an hour. I am soaked because I am locked out of my car, too," Elise informs me, on the verge of tears as she explains the events that have caused her to call me. "And it is pouring, and I'm in a white blouse," Elise whimpers, unmistakably sobbing. I hear thunder crack on the other end of the phone, and my office lights up while lightning intensifies the darkened sky.

"Send me your location. I am on the way."

"I'm right near my uncle's office."

"I'm coming down, don't move," I instruct, "Stay on the phone with me until it dies," I add, clutching my wallet and keys before walking to the door of my office and grabbing an umbrella. Elise grows withdrawn for a moment before she starts apologising to me for bothering me at this hour to come to get her. I shake my head and tell her to stop. It is my honour to find her in the middle of storms and help her out. It is what I am for. I hurry down the stairs and to the building's lobby, watching as the storm causes the lights to flicker on and off for a brief moment. The doorman glances at me and frowns but doesn't question me when I walk out of the door and hurry to my car.

The rain hits my windshield heavily, tapping furiously as if to make the point mother nature is pissed. I can hardly see as I begin to drive, following the location on my phone to get to Elise. Lightning illuminates the sky every few moments, and I swear the thunder shakes my car brutally. I tap my fingers against the steering wheel, anxiously attempting to locate Elise. Tonight wasn't the best time for Elise's car to break down. The raging storm is horrible. The trees are swaying side to side, the streets lights continue flickering, and the repercussions of thunder rock the earth.

I discover Elise's silhouette standing to the side under a slight covering. I park behind her car and put my hazards on, hopping out of my car instantly and hurrying towards her. "Hey," I greet, kissing her damp cheek and handing her the umbrella as I notice the small covering not doing much to keep her dry. Elise attempts to deliver me a humble smile, but she fails. I waste no time shrugging my suit jacket off my shoulders and sliding it up her arms, giving her something dry to help keep her warm, "Christ, you're freezing," I sigh, eschewing the fact she is wet head to toe. "Where are your keys?"

Elise holds her hand up and hands me her keys, "How are you locked out?" I ask, unsure how she has managed to lock herself out of her car on this awful evening.

"The car shut down, Harry. The locks won't work either. And I am in a white shirt."

It looks like someone has had a shit day.

Elise begins to sob while I place her car keys in my pocket.

I open my arms and bring her in for a hug. I press her against me for a moment and kiss the top of her head, "I think the white blouse is lovely," I chuckle, endeavouring to make light out of the situation.

"The doorman will get a good look at my bra." Elise cries into me.

"Could be worse, darling," I chuckle, "I have my laptop. You can send your work in once we get back to the office. It will all be okay, come on," I gesture my hand towards my car. "Get in the car where it's warm," I instruct, walking her to my car.

I hurry to the driver's side and sit in the car for a moment, adjusting the heat for Elise. "Thank you for coming." Elise breathes out.

"That's what boyfriends are for," I respond, beginning to drive while the heat is on full force.

I am not sure how Elise got so lucky to have her car break down and lock her out in the middle of a storm, but everything happens for a reason. There would be no way I could leave her out here in the middle of a storm.

❈ ❈ ❈

I close the blinds to the office and unbutton my shirt, "Here," I slide my navy shirt down my arms and hand it to her, "I have a white one over there," I gesture towards where Jamie left me a spare shirt the other evening in case I had a spare of the moment meeting. "I think it might be best if you wear the darker shirt," I smile, being considerate of the fact that I am sure she does not want everyone else seeing a wet, white shirt. Elise takes the shirt and looks around.

"Can anyone see?"

"No," I shake my head, "Door is locked, and blinds are closed," I assure her, stepping towards my spare shirt and grabbing it with my hand before wasting no time with sliding it up my arms and buttoning the shirt up.

Elise hurriedly peels off her blouse before pulling my shirt over her and buttoning it up, "What are you working on?" Elise softly asks.

"I am working on an ad-hoc analysis to make investment decisions for my client."

Elise nods her head and unlocks the door before she opens up my laptop just as my office door opens. Jamie marches in and steps towards me, handing me a file and setting a cup of coffee on my desk before glancing towards Elise, "What is my niece doing here? You both know I do not condone shacking up at work, right?" Jamie chuckles, and Elise shakes her head, bowing her head.

"Uh…" I trail off, "Not shacking up, her car broke down, and it has been downhill from there," I softly explain, unsure of whether Jamie disapproves of Elise remaining in my office.

"Elle," Jamie turns to face Elise, "What's wrong? What can I do?"

It is unusual to observe Jamie seem caring. In all honesty, most of the time, he seems cold. I still have no clue whether he is married or has kids. He is CEO to the max.

Elise shakes her head, "I am fine, Harry gave me a dry shirt, and I am trying to get my essay done," Elise gestures towards the laptop, "Will you tell Dad my car has stopped working? My phone is dead, and Harry is busy."

Jamie laughs, "And I am not busy? You know I run the business Harry works for, right?" Jamie continues to chuckle, "I will call my brother. If you need anything, just come to my office."

"Told you I am the favourite niece," Elise giggles as she wipes another tear away from her cheek.

I know she has to be overwhelmed and fatigued, hence the reason for her emotions and tears. "You're the more tolerable niece," Jamie corrects Elise, "Your sister is… She is a pain."

"Try growing up with her," Elise mutters.

"Mhm, anyway, I will leave you two alone. Harry, once you're done, you can leave. Take her home." Jamie gestures towards Elise, and I nod my head.

Jamie strolls out, and I stare back towards Elise, "Elle, are you okay?"

Elise glances up at shrugs her shoulders, not giving me anything to work with. I remain in silence for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. I cock my head to the side and watch Elise particularly. Her head is down, her hands are gradually typing at the laptop, and every few moments, she sniffles and wipes away a few tears.

I leave my side of the desk and shuffle over to her, "Elle," I demand her attention, politely taking my laptop and sliding it across my desk. I place my hand on her cheek and force her to look at me, "What's going on?" I softly request, wiping away a few of her tears and shifting her hair behind her ear.

Elise lifts her shoulders into another shrug, "I don't know. It is school, and Dad wants me to go into business and forces me to make investments I do not understand."

"What's going on with school?"

"It is kicking my ass already, and I hate my business classes."

It is a surprise to me that Elise is having difficulties. It appeared to me she was holding it all together and doing well. I guess I haven't paid as much attention as I should have. "I don't even know the basis of this essay, I am talking bullshit, and I have a test tomorrow. How the fuck do you do it?"

"Breathe," I instruct, "I'll help."

"You have enough to worry about."

"Is that why you haven't said anything until now?"

Elise nods her head, "Yeah, that is why Dad is on my ass. I have been asking him for help, and it is not working well. He is not of the teaching kind. Then, of course, I have my sister blowing me up, my roommate sucks, and life just isn't working in my favour right now. My car broke down, and I am sitting here crying in my boyfriend's office."… "It has been a bad day, Harry."

"It sounds like it. I'll help. Wipe the tears away and take a few drinks of my coffee to warm you up a bit, and we can work on your essay."

"But you're busy," Elise laments.

"Don't worry about me. Whenever you need help, just ask. I can work and help at the same time," I assure her, sliding my laptop back towards Elise and glancing at her screen. "Oh, you have Hargis. He's tough but not impossible. Have confidence in yourself. You have a great topic," I assure Elise, quickly reading the first few sentences to see what she's doing.

"I just don't understand any of it for my test."

"What is Computing the intrinsic or fundamental value of an asset?"

Elise heavily sighs, "Harry. I do not know."

She looks like she is about to start crying again. Fuck. "Basically, it's a fundamental price," I respond, kissing her cheek, "Takes time, baby. You'll get the hang of it."

"Mhm," Elise hums, not thrilled at all, "Can't I drop business?"

"Sure, I'll support you no matter what you choose."

I will support Elise in all decisions she makes. I may not always agree with them, but I will support her and be her number one fan. I want Elise to succeed and be happy. I want her to grow into the woman she has the power to be. I will never hold her back; instead, I will hold her up and hold her head above water to stop her from drowning.

"I'm sure my father will not."

"Business isn't for everybody. If it isn't what you want to do, don't do it." I respond.

Elise has the potential to do whatever she wants with her life. I know she will succeed at anything she puts her mind to. Business is something you are either born for or you're not. It doesn't come easy, and it isn't for everybody. I have been reading stocks and reading about the business world since I could read. It was my thing. It was what intrigued me.

"I don't know," Elise shrugs, starting to type away before I travel back to my side of my desk to do my work.

"You need a break."

"Oh, how the tables have turned," Elise sniffles, again wiping away a few tears. "What is the former? This makes no sense," Elise shakes her head, brushing a few more tears from her eyes.

"The former is known as a systematic or rule-based approach and the latter as a discretionary approach,"

"And they are usually associated with passive and active investing, right?" Elise softly asks.

I smile and nod my head, "See, you do know what you're doing, baby," I assure her. "Nevertheless, discretionary and systematic approaches are subtly different concepts. You need a break."

"Oh, how the tables have officially turned."

"They have," I nod, "I have to go up to Cheshire. How about we leave in the morning?" I suggest, "I know we both need to study, but I think it will be good to have the weekend off. We can still study."

"What about work?" Elise asks.

"Jamie gave me the weekend for working in LA all fucking week." I respond, more than happy to have a few days off, even if it means I have to devote it to studying.

❈ ❈ ❈

Elise accompanied the dreaded drive to my mother's, but even so, still, I was not too fond of every minute of the drive. This town always leaves me feeling cold and bitter. The memories I have of the place are not peaceful. My mother's house is still warm and comforting to a certain extent, but I can't help but feel an ache in the pit of my stomach every time I have to walk past the damn chair my father used to recline in. I clear my throat as my sister rocks back and forth in the damn chair, a white blanket draped over her as she taps her fingers against a wine glass. I tap my foot anxiously, my jaw clenching with every passing moment. She resembles my father in ways I can't stand. She is not the girl I once knew, the girl who would sit in the closet with me when our parents were fighting, the sister who held me and made sure that I knew we would be okay. At one point, she was my rock, now the tables have turned, and it seems like I am the one who needs to coddle her and protect her. Sadly, I do not know how to protect her and fix her. My father has destroyed both of us in many ways, but that cannot define us. I am not defined by the trauma my father has instilled in me. I can't use my father as an excuse for everything, and neither can my sister.

I shake my head and stand up, unable to control myself, "Gemma, get up," I instruct, taking her wine glass and placing it on the coffee table before my sister huffs and stands to her feet.

"What?" She mutters, not too pleased with me. We have not been speaking much since her antics when she went on an alcoholic rampage. It isn't that I hold it against her. It's that I know she can do better, and she hates authority. She hates that I am right about her.

"Jus' move, please," I instruct, gesturing for her to take a seat anywhere else in the house. My sister cocks her head to the side and stares at me, not moving out of the way. "Okay, since you won't move, help me pick this up. Grab the other end." I gesture towards the old chair that I want to douse in gasoline.

"You have lost your marbles. Mum will kill you."

"This chair is going to kill my sanity; let's go," I mutter, reaching down and picking up half the recliner, eyeing my sister to pick up her end.

My sister complies and lifts her end, most of the weight on my end.

I catch Elise in the corner of my eye, observing as she drinks her tea, but she doesn't say anything; instead, she moves to open the front door.

I carry the chair out and place it down by my car before walking back inside, not saying a word as Elise continues to sip her tea while she studies.

Carrying the damn couch was like taking a burden out of the house— it felt magnificent. My mother will more than possibly kill me for getting rid of the chair, it is one of the only pieces she has left, but it is a burden. Whenever I see it, I remember my father, who isn't worth the memory. Observing my sister rocking back and forth in the chair with a glass of wine was my tipping point. I do not want to see my sister turn into my father. Right now, she is on the same path as he is. She is slowly becoming a person I don't recognise, a person who doesn't do anything but drink and make life worse. I don't want this life for my sister. My sister has potential. She is a fantastic writer and could go far with her writing if she would apply herself and stop drinking.

"Why is my furniture outside?" My mum's voice distracts my thoughts, her voice4 travelling from the front door.

Uh oh.

I don't respond; instead, I wait for my mother to make her way to the living room, her hands full of paper bags filled with groceries. My mother raises a brow, and I make an effort to take the bags from her, wasting no time placing the groceries on the kitchen countertops. "Anyone care to answer my question?" My mother repeats her question.

I don't have the heart to tell her the reason why my impulse forced me to throw parts of her furniture outside. "Ah, Mum, I uh—" I trail off, reaching into one of the bags and taking out some of the groceries.

"I think what Harry means to say is that he is replacing the furniture."

"He is?"

"I am?" I look towards Elise with wide eyes before I clear my throat, "I am," I change my voice, sounding more convincing.

I don't think I can afford to buy a whole new living room set for my mother, who deserves it, but I guess I may as well add it to the list of things that I need to work on.

Maybe when I get my full pay from Jamie, I will buy my mother new furniture and fix up parts of her house. I know she needs some renovations, but she can't afford it, and I hate to see my mother without the best of the best.

"Harry, you don't need to do that."

"You deserve it," I shake my head, opening my arm and hugging my mother as she leans into me. My mother is an angel. She deserves the world— and I wish I could give her everything she deserves.

My mother gave up so much for my sister and me. She worked night and day to provide for us. She put us through school, raised us and made sure we had everything we ever needed. We may not have been rich with materialistic things, but we were rich in love. My mother loved and still loves my sister and me more than anything. She would walk to the ends of the earth for us. My mother is a saint after everything she has been through. My father was a horrible man and is still a horrendous man. To this day, my mother doesn't let that define her or allow it to be an excuse. My mother has raised above all challenges, and if buying her new furniture puts her at ease, I will do it.

I step towards the doors that lead to the back porch, and Elise instantly follows me. I close the door behind us, and Elise wraps her cardigan around the front of her body, the wind chill brushing past us. "Before you get mad and stress, hear me out," Elise instantly presses.

I shake my head, "I am not mad," I assure her. I have no reason to be mad with her. "I just can't afford it right now. Jamie doesn't pay me the big lump sum for another few weeks."

"Harry, I have it covered."

"What?" I question, unsure of how or why Elise has the living room furniture covered.

Elise steps closer to me and offers me a smile, "I noticed some of the couches were ripped and needed replacing, so I have been looking at furniture."

"That's nice, but I can't afford it."

"Great," Elise smiles, "I will pay for it."

"Elle," I shake my head, but she doesn't let me continue speaking.

Elise swiftly cuts me off, "Harry, it's one less thing for you to worry about. You won't let me help pay for the mortgage or anything. Let me do this. It can be an early Christmas present."

"I'm too tired even to fight it. I will pay you back," I assure Elise.

It isn't Elise's responsibility to pay for anything of my family. "Mhm, I don't want the money back."

"We shall see about that," I smile, leaning down and kissing her sweetly. "I do appreciate what you do and for being so understanding."… "Hopefully, this is temporary. I hope with my work starting that things will settle financially."

"I am sure it will," Elise nods, "Don't stress it," Elise offers me that sweet, addicting smile of hers that I adore so much.

I go to speak, but I stop when I see my mother at the door, gesturing for us to come inside.

❈ ❈ ❈

I feel myself in and out of sleep, a warm hand to my back, the tender touch causing a small smile to form on my lips. I have been having some restless nights lately in London. I had hoped that being out here in the countryside, I would sleep a little better, but that is far from the case. I have been in and out of sleep for the last few hours, my thoughts crowded with work and school. I will be glad when school is over and when things work in my favour. I just need to get through my masters, and it will all work out. If everything goes to plan, I will start my own business and have my masters in the next year or two. I will have to start from the bottom with my business, but I will get to the top. I will one day control my hours and be the CEO. Right now, it all seems so far fetched, but one day it will happen.

I lay awake noiselessly. Elise's delicate touch woke me a few moments ago, but I haven't moved; instead, I allow her to continue drawing on my back. This is the first time I have woken up to her awake and drawing soothing nothings on my back at an ungodly hour. I could get used to this. It's soothing.

She draws aimless circles on my back before she starts to trace a specific pattern. I follow the pattern, drowsily coming to terms with what is being written on my back. It takes me by surprise to understand what she is tracing over and over again. I didn't expect the words to come from her. Elise continues to trace "I love you" on my back.

I told Elise I loved her a few weeks ago, she never said it back, but I knew it would take time. I didn't expect nor want Elise to say it because she felt like she had to. I wanted her to say it on her terms and to mean it. I am not sure why Elise is tracing it on my back and not expressing it in person. I contemplate whether to say anything or not. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I am not sure how she feels about things. If she wanted me to know, she would tell me verbally. Or perhaps this is the only way she knows how to express her feelings. I am not sure what goes through her mind when it comes to emotions and relationships.

Once Elise stops drawing sweet nothings on my back, I wait a few moments before I carefully roll over and wrap my arms around her. Elise nestles into me and gets comfortable. "I love you, too," I whisper, breaking the silence.

I love this woman more than I had intended. I know it sounds awful, but I hadn't meant to fall in love so quickly and easily. I thought it would take a lot more time than it has. On rare occasions, I get time to myself and don't have to study or work; I have realised that I'm already at the point of wanting her to move in with me full time, but I don't think my apartment is sufficient. If all goes as planned with my clients and Jamie's offers to keep me working with him, my salary will be enough to get a decent house for the two of us if I get a mortgage; however, I'm scared to jinx things.

What if we move in, and it all goes downhill?

What if she realises he hates the way I fold my towels?

As stupid as they may be, I have many what-ifs, but I love her and want a life with her. I don't want a half-life, and I don't want to live this separate life of barely seeing each other because our schedules don't add up and because I work all hours. I know we are young, but she's the one. I may not be anywhere near close to marrying her, but she's my other half. She's the woman my mother used to tell me about when she'd say to me, "you'll know when you find the right one; you'll just know."

Elise is like a breath of fresh air. She's what gives me that extra bit of hope when it comes to life. She's my constant. With everything I've been through growing up, with everything my father has put me through and my half brother roaming the town, she is the only constant thing that makes me feel at home. She's my safe haven. She isn't the reason why I wake up every morning, that's cliche, but she is the reason why I go to bed knowing the woman of my dreams has finally found me— she's finally mine. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.

When I glance at Elise, I don't just observe a beautiful woman. I see someone ready to take on the world. I see a strong, opinionated and intelligent woman who will challenge me in every way possible. I see a woman who will call me out when I'm an asshole and put me in line, a woman who will love me and stand by my side through thick and thin. When I look at Elise, I see a woman who will probably cause me to want to pull my hair out at some points, a woman who will raise children to be just as bold, independent and as loving as she is— and most of all— I see a woman who will go to the ends of the earth to greet me with a smile.

Everything she does turns into something beautiful. She's the sunshine on the gloomiest of days, she makes everything warm, she is the hope in my eyes when I wake up each morning— she’s yellow.

"You're awake?" Elise whispers, settling space between us so she can move from her position and gaze at me.

"Yeah," I softly respond, "Want me to pretend to be asleep so you can take back your 'I love you?" I extend a slight chuckle, referencing the night I told her I loved her, and she asked me if I wanted to take it back. I do regret blurting it out in the middle of an argument. But oh well.

"No," Elise responds.

I hope I haven't ruined things. I know she may not have been ready for me to know I was awake. Perhaps she was tracing it in confidence that I was asleep.

Elise grows quiet for a moment before she smiles and pushes a few strands of her behind her ear, "Guess the cat's out of the bag, huh?"

I chuckle and lift my shoulders into a shrug, "Guess so. But if you aren't ready to admit it, I can pretend I have been asleep?" I offer with a cheeky grin. I can't help but feel giddy inside. I feel like a kid in a candy shop told they could pick any candy they want—the butterflies and happiness hum through my veins at the realisation that she loves me too.

"I love you," Elise whispers.

"I love you, too, darling," I respond as she rests back down on me and gets comfortable.

As Elise lays on my chest, my arms are wrapped around her while the rain starts to set outside. "Ever wonder what happiness is?" Elise murmurs drowsily, sounding as though she is ready to fall asleep.

For most of my life, I have wondered what happiness is.

Is it truly a feeling?

Is it an emotion?

They say that happiness is an emotional state characterised by sensations of delight, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment. While happiness has numerous definitions, it is frequently described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

I am not quite sure what happiness truly is.

Have I felt it? Have I felt true happiness, or is it an illusion?

It's a question I may never know the true answer to. Happiness comes and goes in waves. One minute it feels as though it washes over me and cleanses my soul, but other times it appears as though it has deserted me. Happiness is like a heartbeat monitor; it goes up, it goes down, and when it looks like it is a steady, straight-line— it's probably dead— happiness is not constant. If it were constant, we would never welcome other emotions that are essential for life.

When happiness is not present, I discover myself learning some of the best life lessons. If it weren't for the bitter feelings, I wouldn't have the energetic drive to succeed in the business world. My sentiments towards my father, the hatred and resentment, give me the fire in my soul to become everything he wasn't. I don't want to ever be like him, and I want more for myself. I want more out of life than alcohol and anger.

I may never know what happiness truly is— I may never have my answer for what happiness is— but one day, I hope to have an understanding of it.

"It's you," Elise softly whispers, her body getting heavier on my chest as she falls closer and closer to falling asleep.

I smile to myself and run my fingers through her hair. It is an honour to be her happiness, but deep down, I have the feeling that she is my definition of happiness, and if she isn't the definition, she is the source.

When we are born, they say we are born with all the universe's wisdom and the answers to everything, but we forget it by the time we can talk. If I could talk back then, I wonder what wisdom I would have known— I wonder what knowledge I would have to offer someone— for now, I will settle with knowing that my happiness begins with myself and ends with Elise. To be happy with her, I have to be satisfied with myself. I may not be the best man; I am not a saint, but I do my best to grow each day. That is all I can do— it is all anyone can do.

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scullydubois · 4 years ago

Text

Only the Light Ch. 13

As Scully copes with her diagnosis, Mulder joins her for the Scully family Christmas dinner. Plus, Melissa's girlfriend meets the family.

TW for disordered eating, cigarette smoking, references to abduction/medical rape.

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Self destruction is a natural impulse for Dana Scully, though she’ll try to deny it. Take one unexplained abduction, add a dash of premature menopause, and sift out time spent proving Mulder wrong, and you’ll get a struggling Scully.

She can tell she’s entering a bad mental state when food becomes a suggestion rather than a necessity. Every bite is either earned according to whatever trivial rules she’s set for herself in that particular moment, or is not deserved and therefore not eaten. It’s a game where she’s the coach, player, and referee, yet she still loses every time. Nourishment is both prize and punishment, feeding her hunger but vacating her control.

This habit started when she was a teenager and wracked with feelings her petite frame couldn’t contain. It felt much safer than the route her siblings had taken of sneaking out in the middle of the night or using fake IDs to buy alcohol or skipping church on the regular. As far as fifteen-year-old her was concerned, she wasn’t bothering anyone by foregoing some meals. Her mother disagreed and called her out every time, humiliating her into her second coping mechanism, smoking.

There were the times when Scully was really young and enticed by her sister’s cigarettes, but that was simple preteen rebellion. What developed when Dana was seventeen was something different entirely. A survival mechanism with poison inside, snuffing herself out while keeping her alive and sane. She would walk to the gas station and buy packs of Marlboros with coins from her piggy bank. The laws were lax in the 80s, the prices too. She would blow rings of smoke while walking home, then hide the pack in her bra and swish some mouthwash. She’d repeat the process to and from school, steadily acquiring a nasty nicotine habit. It continued until the summer before college, when she made herself go cold turkey so as not to take the habit with her. As far as she knows, neither her parents nor any of her siblings ever knew about it.

It resurfaces in times of stress, though normally for no more than a single pack. Lately she’s accustomed to keeping a pack and a lighter with her at all times. Her building is smoke free so she steps outside, but her car is off limits because she doesn’t want the smell to cling to her. It is a hassle, but then again, so are most things.

Missy knows about the poor eating habits--those are hard to hide from someone who shares the same space as you. Nevermind the fact that the scale shows six less pounds than before, and that adds up when the number’s not that large to begin with. Scully’s edges protrude now...that can’t be hidden.

Missy never says a word. She remembers Dana complaining about their mother’s condescending comments about her weight, and she knows the damage that does to a young psyche. Instead, she offers. Healthy meals, guilty pleasure meals, all her sister’s favorites. She cooks more than she ever has before, well aware that her sister will struggle to refuse her.

“I recognize what you’re doing,” Missy told her sister when she tried to turn away a caesar salad, of all things. “I’ve been known to do that too,” Missy admitted. “Eat. You’re hungry, you just think not eating will give you some form of control over your body, or your life...but wasting yourself away is letting the bastards win.”

And so she did, that time at least. Scully has enough shame regarding her habit to push it aside whenever confronted---that’s how she insists to herself that it’s not an eating disorder. She can stop on command. That makes it okay, right?

Getting back into the office helped her a lot---you can’t starve yourself and function as an FBI agent. Besides, she would dissolve into thin air if Mulder figured out what she was doing. He was the one who batted around the idea of Scully helping prep each case and supervising any tests he might need the crime lab to do while he’s in the field. He understood that in lieu of therapy, she needed something to take her out of her own mind.

It was as much for him as it was her; at this point, it’s almost incomprehensible to him that the X-Files had existed before her. Of course he was the laughingstock of the FBI! He had huddled in the basement by himself with UFOs and blurry Bigfoot sightings pinned on the wall like a shrine to his own delusion.

Her fall from grace was his absolution. He’ll make an angel of her, somehow. Even if it means he has to meet the devil.

Scully has no interest in becoming an angel, though she’d sure like to avoid hell, and that hasn’t worked out too well. Locker room jokes are one thing. Underestimation another. But assault? Rape? Trauma and torture because she is who she is doing what she does? She is not a quitter, and that is killing her.

Her barrenness haunts her because it was bestowed upon her as punishment, an implication that she only has worth as a walking womb. She wants to be seen as a person, not a pawn.

The arrival of the holiday season is another weight on her shoulders. It used to be Scully’s favorite time of year; now the sight of carolers makes her want to poke her eyes out. It’s the first Christmas without her father, and that is simply unimaginable. Her and Missy spent a quiet Thanksgiving with their mother---small portions and whispered thanks--in preparation for an elaborate family Christmas. Bill Jr. and Tara are flying in from California for the annual Christmas dinner and midnight mass. They will all try to move forward, pretend it’s just like any other year, but it’s not and it never will be again. Happy Christmases are over for the Scully family.

And yet, they will try to enjoy the moment. Missy told her mom that she’s bringing a friend, which is completely true. Trinity is her closest friend that she doesn’t share blood with. That said, she plans to use the occasion to introduce Trinity as her girlfriend, come what may.

Then there was the suggestion that their mother made, which caught her youngest daughter completely off guard. “Why don’t you bring Fox?” Margaret Scully proposed demurely during their weekly phone call. “I’m making a zoo’s worth of food, I could use another mouth to feed. I hate to see any of it go to waste.”

“Mulder’s spending Christmas with his family, I’m sure,” Scully had replied. “But I’ll pass along the offer.”

That was how Scully learned that Mulder’s family isn’t much for celebration, that he usually spends the holiday flipping between It’s A Wonderful Life and the 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story, and that he has a particular fascination with the idea of midnight mass.

“I just don’t get it,” Mulder mused. “You believe that a jolly old man with flying reindeer leaves presents in your house, but you think he waits until after you’ve gotten home from celebrating Baby Jesus’ birthday? Didn’t you ever look for his sleigh in the sky on the drive home?”

“No, Mulder,” Scully sighed. “I just believed that he knew when we were tucked in bed. Santa’s all-seeing, you know,” she teased.

Mulder chuckled. “Kind of presumptuous to assume he functions on your schedule, huh?”

Ultimately, Mulder said yes. He figured attending the Catholic equivalent of Jesus’ birthday party would be another check off his supernatural bucket list, though he did not say this part out loud for fear of Dana Scully’s wrath. Besides, what else was he gonna do on Christmas Eve? Shake the shoebox of junk he stuck under his mini-basketball hoop so he felt like he was getting a gift?

And so the fateful day arrives. Mulder flips his Garfield page-a-day calendar to December 24th, chuckles at the comic strip of the orange cat eating all his owner’s Christmas cookies, and makes his way to his partner’s increasingly familiar doorstep. The sun has already slipped behind the trees by the time he arrives. It gives up easily in the winter.

He rings the bell and hears Scully’s dainty footsteps on the other side. She’s snuck up on him enough times for him to have developed a keen sense of her light footing--no more jump scares for him.

“Hey Scully,” he stammers as she opens the door. She had told him to look “festive,” so he donned his nicest green sweater (a gift from his mom from J. Crew...he had never worn it) and slacks. Scully rounds out their show of holiday spirit with a velvet red blouse and black trousers.

“You look lovely,” Mulder says reflexively, unsure when he started using such a word. Scully pulls at her shirt, obscuring the bit of cleavage that has revealed itself. “Thanks Mulder,” she mutters, ushering him inside.

He holds up the shiny silver gift bag he hastily stuffed with tissue paper. “Some candy canes I picked up at the gas station. I figured the whole family could enjoy them.”

Scully nods, amused by his feeble attempt at gifting. “I’m sure they won’t go to waste.”

A fire crackles in the fireplace. It’s so hot in the apartment that Mulder is surprised it hasn’t melted the snow outside on the sidewalk.

“Where’s Melissa?” he asks, hoping they will hit the road sooner than later.

“She’s picking up her girlfriend from the airport. She couldn’t get an earlier flight.”

“Dulles?” He sure hopes not. It’s all the way across town.

“No, Reagan.”

Whew. Much closer.

“She should be back any minute now,” Scully continues. “Trinity’s flight got in at 3:30.”

Mulder rolls his sleeves up. “So your family doesn’t know about Trinity?”

Scully shakes her head.

“Do they know that Melissa’s…” He gestures, unsure which word to fill the space with.

“Bi? No.”

“So she shows up with Trinity, and then what?”

Scully shrugs. “She introduces her as her girlfriend. Mom already knows Missy is bringing a guest so she’ll have a plate for her.”

“You’re not worried about how the family’s gonna react?”

“Well, I’m sure Bill is gonna be a dick about it, but that’s normal. We only see him once a year, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Bill’s your brother?”

“Uh-huh. And Tara is his wife. They got married about a year and a half ago.”

Even as he pushes into his thirties, it still surprises Mulder that anyone close to his age could be married. He doesn’t even sleep in a bed.

“You think your mom’s gonna be cool with Trinity?” he asks.

“I think she loves her daughter enough to be.”

“Mmm.” Mulder sticks his hands in his pockets. If only he had dilemmas like this. He imagines him and Samantha speculating about their mother’s reaction to Sam’s nose piercing or dyed hair or...anything really. He would give so much to have someone to laugh about his uncle’s sideburns with.

His emotional deep-dive is promptly cut off by the entrance of Melissa and a brunette woman whose bangs graze her eyebrows, her hair falling just below her shoulder. “Hi!” she chirps, taking in the magnificence of Dana Scully. “Dana, I presume?”

Scully nods.

“May I hug you?” Trinity asks, hazel eyes shining.

“Sure,” Scully says, feeling the brisk air against Trinity’s coat as she’s pulled in.

Scully lets go first, and Trinity takes that as a cue to pull away. “You look just like Mel, wow,” she remarks, fighting the urge to run her fingers through Scully’s hair.

Scully smiles softly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh, it is,” Trinity assures, exchanging a gooey gaze with Missy. Next, her attention falls upon Mulder, who does an awkward half-wave. “Hello!” She points between Mulder and Scully. “Boyfriend?”

Mulder chokes. Scully picks up his slack--”Oh, no. This is Fox Mulder, my partner at the FBI.”

“Ahh,” Trinity smiles knowingly. “Yes, I’ve heard about you. I didn’t know you would be joining us for Christmas.”

“Christmas is not exactly my family’s cup of tea, so I figured I’d get an authentic experience with the Scullys.”

“Same! I’m looking forward to Mama Scully’s ginger snaps. I’ve heard fantastic things about them.”

Mulder elbows his partner playfully. “Damn, Scully! How could you leave me in the dark about ginger snaps?”

Scully rolls her eyes but smiles. “I apologize, Mulder. Though for the record, the fruitcake is better.”

“Says no one, ever,” Mulder teases.

She grins. Now this is Christmas.

---------------------

Taking a seat at Margaret Scully’s dinner table feels like existing inside a Christmas movie, in Mulder’s mind. Fancy china, green and red serving platters, paper mache snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and a porcelain nativity scene; the dining room has it all. Not to mention the heaping piles of food there for the taking...if this is Christmas, Mulder wants in every year.

Scully does not share his cinematic fantasy. She knows better, having actually attended one of her family’s dinners before. Bill will get too drunk and start saying whatever comes to mind, their mother will laugh along like he’s still a five year old babbling about nothing (as opposed to the thirty-something spewing bullshit that he actually is), Missy will attempt to debate him to get him to shut up (which never works), and she will sit there and wish to be somewhere, anywhere else. And all without their father to hold the reins and keep a fight from breaking out.

The night has gone smoothly enough, Scully supposes. Missy introduced Trinity as her girlfriend in a very non-ceremonial way, forcing Bill and their mother to nod and accept it, in the moment at least. Mulder received a hug from Margaret and a pat on the shoulder from Bill, so pretty much the highest token of approval. Mulder’s candy canes earned a place in the center of the dessert table, which gave him way more satisfaction than it should have, and he couldn’t help but feel that if they were to vote on favorite man at the party, he would win. A room with Bill Jr. in it is probably the only place he would ever earn this honor, and he’ll take that.

Yet everything unwinds as Scully suspected. Bill waits until everyone has packed plates and full mouths to unleash his particular hyperfixation for the night.

“Trinity?” he questions, raising his fork diagonal across the table toward her. “Is that your name?”

Trinity smiles and nods, oblivious to what she’s in for.

“And you know Melissa how…?”

She pats a napkin to her mouth. “We worked at the same restaurant in Oregon.”

He chuckles gruffly. “What was it, one of those gay bar things?”

“No, an Italian bistro,” Trinity continues calmly.

Missy, however, is not so calm. “Gay people can go places other than gay bars,” she retorts. “We’re not segregated. Though I’m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Bill sets a fist on the table, clanging his silverware. “Yeah, that’s what I said. Why the hell do you insist on being so politically correct all the time? I’d shoot myself.”

“Gee, maybe you should try it sometime.”

“Now Melissa…” Margaret Scully’s voice rises above the clamor.

“I have the right to defend my girlfriend and I against Bill’s thinly disguised homophobia,” Missy responds.

“You act like I give a damn what you and your friend do,” Bill sneers. “That’s not my business.”

“Then stop pretending like it is.”

“Oh boo-hoo, little Missy thinks the world revolves around her.”

“Bill, honey, I think that’s enough,” Tara says, laying a protective hand on his arm.

“You’re right.” He raises his can of beer toward Mulder. “Whaddya doin here, hot shot? Trying to seduce my sister?”

Scully frowns, but doesn’t say anything, pushing food around on her plate.

Mulder seems rather unbothered by Bill’s advances. He chuckles. “Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”

Bill snorts. “That’s a likely story.”

“You don’t think I’m worth your sister’s time?”

“I don’t think Dana thinks you're worth her time. You’re not her type.”

“I am sitting right here, you know,” Scully says, staring daggers at her brother.

“Then tell us Dana! Is hot shot here your type?”

Her eyes brush Mulder’s face. His cheeks flush, reddening like a stormy sunset. She wishes she could read his mind. The safe answer and the true answer are not often the same. “I think Mulder is a wonderful man. I’m very lucky to know him,” she answers stiffly, her annoyance aimed at Bill.

“Oh, the old run-around!” Bill scraps his fork against his plate. ”Typical.”

Scully grabs her now empty canned cocktail and sulks into the kitchen, leaving her chair pushed away from the table. Everyone watches her go, but Bill gives off the only visible reaction. He laughs. “Scared her away. Thought it would take more.”

Mulder and Melissa exchange a glance. She nods, granting him permission to play knight-in-shining-armor. Quietly, Mulder slips out of his chair and pushes it back into place. He catches the kitchen door as it swings closed behind his partner.

Her anger concealed from the rest of the family, Scully drops her can in the recycling bin with a bang. She ignores Mulder, instead opening the refrigerator and pulling out another cocktail, saying nothing.

“What is this, your fifth drink?” Mulder brushes his hand over her shoulder, and she recoils. “Leave me alone, Mulder.” She slams the fridge and tries to turn around, but he’s cornered her.

“C’mon Scully, Bill’s harmless. He doesn’t bother me.”

“It’s not fucking about Bill,” she fumes, alcohol fizzing through her bloodstream. She inhales, trying to keep it together in front of the man who has done nothing wrong to her. “Please get out of my way.”

“What’s wrong?” He frames her shoulders with his hands, creating their own little bubble.

“Don’t touch me!” she growls. Mulder knows as soon as hears it: he will never forget the pure anguish in her voice. As she retreats to the corner, he looks down at his palms, the stovetop that burned her...he would cut them off if he could.

Unfortunately, the commotion attracts the Scully’s like a dog whistle. Bill leads the charge into the kitchen, getting a full view of his sister hunched over by the back door while her partner stands by the fridge like an idiot. “Ooo, a lover’s spat!” he exclaims, only nominally concerned about Dana’s well-being.

“Shut up, Bill,” Missy hisses. To everyone’s relief, he does.

Mrs. Scully comes forward, maneuvering around Mulder to get to her daughter. “Are you alright, Dana?”

Scully keeps her back to the crowd. “I just need a minute.” She taps her pocket, confirms that she slipped her pack of cigarettes in. “I’ll be outside. Everyone can go back to dinner, please.”

She twists the doorknob and steps onto the back deck without waiting for any response. Mulder feels the tug of tears in his throat, like a dormant animal waking up in him. He is used to being hurt (though not by Scully, never her), but inflicting the hurt is a whole other beast. He doesn’t know what he’s done, but he doesn’t need to. The look in her eyes, put there by what he thought was a harmless touch, made his heart tremble. He is frozen in place, grateful when Melissa appears at his side as the rest of the party returns to the dining room.

“I didn’t mean to upset her, I was trying to make her feel better about Bill…” he laments.

“I’m sure, I’m sure. It’s not you specifically, she’s going through a lot right now--you know.”

Mulder rubs his neck. “I don’t know if I do.”

“She hasn’t shared her diagnosis?”

His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. “Diagnosis?! Is she okay?”

Missy sighs. “I think you two need to talk. If she gets pissed, tell her I sent you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Tell me if she’s okay.��

“She’s okay. It’s not fatal or anything.”

“She would tell me, if it was...wouldn’t she?”

Missy bites her lip. “I don’t know, Fox---Mulder. I would hope so, but I was under the impression you already knew about this, and you see how that’s gone.”

Mulder turns toward the back door, desperation living in his voice. “I’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta check on her.”

Missy nods. “Don’t let her weasel her way out of this one. I’m expecting a heart-to-heart, mushiness and all.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

He turns the back doorknob and slips through the door, trying to imitate his partner’s ninja skills. The old wood on the door frame shakes as he shuts it. He winces--so much for the sneak attack.

Mulder follows the arc of the deck, winter’s bite colliding with him. He didn’t have a chance to grab his jacket, and now that he’s thinking about it, Scully didn’t either. He can grin and bear it but she is all skin and bones, now more than ever. It scares him to see her like that, but it’s none of his business, he feels, to comment on her body. He can break her fall, but he must not provide an extra push.

The wind has no friends to protect nor foes to defeat, so it will give away anyone. It carries the unmistakable tarnish of smoke to Mulder’s nose, an ashy haze that has come to remind him of Skinner’s office and the shadow lingering in the corner. He almost expects to find him there with his Morleys and his sadistic laugh. Instead, he finds a redhead and her Marlboros shrinking against the December cold snap.

“Bum a cig, ma’am?” He scoots up to her, ready to retrieve his own smoke from her long, slender fingers.

“Mulder!” She pulls the cigarette away from her, holding her last puff captive in her lungs.

He wiggles his fingers like an impatient child. “We’re all gonna die someday, right?”

Her jig up, she rolls her shoulders back and releases the smoke with a great rise and fall of her chest. It mingles in the air with the chill of her breath, becoming one and the same as they leave the contours of her body. Head tilted back and lips parted, she is alive with nicotine’s ease and intoxication’s freedom.

It is better than porn, according to one Fox William Mulder. He’ll keep this observation to himself for now.

“Did your parents never teach you that sharing is caring?” he rambles. “C’mon, give me a light!”

“It’s a nasty habit, Mulder.”

“I’m a connoisseur of those,” he replies loosely. “Now, you’re not gonna make me put you in a headlock are ya?”

Scully rolls her eyes. She’s never felt less threatened in her life. “You’re exhausting, do you know that?”

“I’ve heard it a time or two.”

She pulls a cigarette from her carton and slips it into his fingers. They are warm; hers are ice-cold. “I wanted to be alone.” She hands him the lighter, watches as he generates heat from thin air.

He lights his cig and sticks the lighter in his pocket rather than handing it back to her. “According to my calculations, you should be very drunk right now. Other than your Oscar bait performance back there, you’ve got things pretty under control I’d say.”

Scully gestures at her cigarette smoking, teeth chattering self. “Yeah, I’m the picture of health.”

“Do you have some exceptional alcohol tolerance I should know about, because that’d make you very valuable in undercover work.”

Scully gazes out into the distance. She’d smile if she were to look at him right now, and that doesn’t feel right for the situation. “Those drinks have low alcohol content, Mulder. You can buy them at Dollar General.”

“You ever looked at their hand sanitizer? It’s like 95% alcohol.”

“Well, now I know where you go to get your fix.”

He chuckles. “You got me.”

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and he wishes, god he wishes, that he had grabbed his jacket. He’d take off his sweater if she wanted him to--stand there with his bare chest to the cold--but he has a feeling that would only exacerbate the situation.

He tries a more gentlemanly route. “Do you want me to grab your jacket? I won’t give away your trade secrets.”

She folds herself together. “No, it’s okay. It’ll make me get a move on at some point.”

They stand united in their rebellion, blowing smoke and freezing their asses off. Who needs Christmas cheer when you’ve got Christmas resentment?

Mulder sways a bit to keep his blood circulating. He is careful not to bump her. “You wanna tell me why you’re out-Scrooging Scrooge this year?” he prompts as gently as he can.

“In case you haven’t noticed, it hasn’t exactly been the best year of my life.”

“I gathered that, yeah.”

“And it’s the first Christmas without my father…” her voice warbles.

“Shit, right. I’m sorry,” Mulder murmurs.

“...So it just doesn’t feel very celebratory.” She takes a long drag. Mulder can tell that this secret smoking habit is not new to her, and he wonders when she picked it up, how long she has kept it from him.

He takes a deep breath, watches as it is written in the air. “Melissa told me you received a diagnosis, and I think we’ve already established that sharing is caring…”

Scully looks him in the eyes for the first time since he joined her. It has the sudden intensity of a black-and-white film, Scully the 1940s scarlet and he the leading man who pales in comparison to her. There is no one he’d rather be overshadowed by.

“It’s humiliating,” she croaks. “Missy and my mom are the only ones who know.”

“I’ve got the monopoly on humiliation in this partnership, so I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says, flicking some ashes to the ground.

“This is a particular form of humiliation you can’t experience, I’m afraid. Or at least, it wouldn’t impact you the same way.”

“Let’s hear it.”

She sighs. “My abductors removed all of my eggs, causing my menstrual cycle to shut down and me to enter perimenopause.”

His breath catches in his throat. “Jesus christ.”

“Uh-huh.”

He throws his cigarette on the ground and stamps it out, though it could have burned longer. “That’s fucking horrifying, Scully. You’ve got to inform the Bureau. We’ve got to catch these--whatever they are. We’ve got to make them pay.”

“No, Mulder. It’s too much. I don’t want to keep reliving it, I want to be able to move on with my life.”

“How can you move on when they’re still out there, probably doing it to more women?”

She shakes her head, feeling the snag of tears and holding them back for fear they might freeze on her face. “I don’t know, but I can’t think about it like that. It sort of...shatters everything, the idea that this could be a phenomenon happening to other women in secret. I wouldn’t believe it if it didn’t happen to me. I still don’t believe it.”

Mulder shudders. He can’t discern whether it’s from the cold or their conversation. “Do you think it was men who took you? Or do you believe Duane Barry?”

“It seems like a level of monstrosity that only man could achieve. It requires a certain understanding of society, gender roles...dehumanization that only humans could perpetuate.”

Mulder nods. Her reasoning tracks, but the thought of him failing to outsmart humans who stole away his partner is something he cannot fully process. It makes sense that he couldn’t find her if she was in space, but if she was on the face of the Earth, he had no damn excuse.

“You were just gone, Scully...you were just gone.” His aching is so palpable, his voice a cliff’s edge they could both tumble down.

“I know I was.” She takes one last puff, then lets her cigarette fall to the ground. She crushes it with her heel, her force premeditated and brutal. That pain is for the ones who took her, the ones who have obviously never loved a thing at all.

Head bowed, she moves toward the door, but not without grasping for Mulder’s elbow, assuring that he is following behind. He is and he will be, for as long as she lets him.

Inside, the home’s manufactured warmth hits them, unreal in comparison to the cold they have known. The kitchen is as quiet as it was before their ordeal, the dining room empty aside from Mrs. Scully clearing serving platters.

“Where did everyone go?” Scully asks, momentarily alarmed that she may have ruined the entire gathering.

“We’re going to drive around and look at lights before mass. Everyone’s getting ready.”

“Oh.” She looks to Mulder, as if to check that he hasn’t left her stranded. “I think I’ll stay here,” she tells her mother. “Make a cup of hot chocolate and relax for a bit.”

“Well, you’ll be missed. Fox, would you like to join us?”

He takes a leap, hopes he’s got the right idea. “I’ll stay here, but thank you.”

“As you wish,” Mrs. Scully says with a slight smile. Mulder had never noticed her resemblance to her daughter until that moment. It was like looking at a sketch of a famous painting; the lines are there but the colors missing.

Soon enough the crowd leaves and Scully and Mulder settle on the couch with mugs of hot cocoa. Margaret Scully’s tree forms the centerpiece of the living room, and it’s hard not to admire its gold and red decorations and the shiny angel on top.

“That’s gorgeous. Does she do it every year?” Mulder asks, ignoring the steam rising out of his mug and going right in for the kill.

Scully nods. “Every year since we were kids. There used to be a lot more homemade ornaments, but I guess she swapped those for a more elegant look now that we’re grown.”

“Well, it’s beautiful.” He looks at her, curled up with the glow of the fireplace falling upon her, and he feels warmth and safety like never before. It would be so easy to slip in “and so are you,” it is practically begging to be said. But she wouldn’t believe him if he said it now; she would think it was a pity compliment. Instead, he mouths the words, and she is not looking, and that is okay.

She snuggles deeper into the cushions, closing her eyes and letting her mind wander. She is the most at ease she has been in months--here in the house she lived in during high school with the fireplace crackling and her partner by her side--and that’s not what she expected from Christmas Eve. Heaven strokes her skin, and she blinks her eyes open to find Mulder tucking her in with her mother’s microfiber blanket. She smiles her soft Scully smile. “Thank you,” she coos, burrowing herself deeper into the blanket’s embrace.

“You’re welcome,” Mulder whispers into her ear. His fingers tangle in her hair as he pulls her toward him, his lips meeting her temple. She catalogues the feeling for her memory bank: chapped but carrying the hot chocolate’s warmth. She will spend the next while convinced that it was a dream, a fleeting image in the moments before sleep, but she will carry the feeling until she feels it again.

#in true x files fashion it's an angsty christmas with some fluff at the end #just pretend that christmas hasnt passed haha #guest starring: bill jr being a dick #and missy's gf <3 #if you continue to follow this I'm literally in love with you thank you #the x-files #only the light fic #txf #txf fic #missy and scully fic #fox mulder #dana scully #melissa scully #mine

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jamaiskookie · 4 years ago

Text

bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row.

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places.

cafeteria ladies love jin so much.

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke.

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales.

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with.

‘zombie meets elegance‘

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body)

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president

takes his job very!! seriously!!

fights with the principal on funding daily.

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy.

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit.

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

“-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK”

actually enjoys doing morning announcements.

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice.

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion.

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking.

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming.

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary)

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“ “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends.

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride.

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month.

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through.

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin.

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it.

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june.

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day.

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal.

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it.

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds.

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it.

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about.

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable.

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him.

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker.

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much.

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason)

everyone either is

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging.

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

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fonulyn · 3 years ago

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I need to scream about RE ID bc like. Did I enjoy it? Yeah, I did. Was it. Just wrapped up way too nicely and quickly? Also yeah. I was a little disappointed by it tho, like the length, and the flashback scenes weren't as clear as I think they should have been? Like I understood what was happening, but it took me a little too much brain power to like keep up with what was and wasn't a flashback lmao

Also I wanna say, I get wanting to keep Jun See alive but god, that did not look fun. Just let him die, dude, no one wants to live like that, smh.

Thank god they kept Leon's one liners tho, like thank you for that at least lol also Claire, my GIRL, I love her holy shit. Honestly she was amazing, like, just perfect. Not sure why she has a gun in the promotional poster, bc she just. Never has a gun throughout the entire show, I don't think? Also can we talk about how she took that guy down with that lamp, and then hopped on top of him just fucking ready to continue to beat the shit out of him? Chris would be so proud 🥲

Okay also, I saw what you said with that flirting scene, and I agree that it seemed like Leon was trying to lighten the mood, but it so didn't need to be put in there at all @ the writers. Like this show could have gotten away with no romance, or just that one moment near the end with Claire and Leon (which, I don't ship them much, and that moment at the v end where she was like "are you ever gonna stop treating me like a kid?" And he responded with "probably not" or whatever kind of ruined whatever was shown earlier? Like it feels like she's had that convo with Chris before too, so I'm like hm no don't imply romance and then imply that he treats her like a little kid every time they run into each other, now it's weird lol) and been fine. None of the story was contingent on any kind of romance between anyone.

Now with that said, can I just say Patrick absolutely wanted to suck Leon's dick? Like he was smitten, and I bet you they at least fuck after all this is said and done, if not date for a short period of time. I thought they were gonna kill Patrick off, I'm glad they didn't tho, he was v wholesome lol.

Also I wanna mention that every serious moment (save a small handful) I just. I couldn't take it seriously, it was too over the top. Acid? Really? That's the self destruct measure? Slowly rising acid? I dunno, that doesn't seem quite right to me, I don't think that's how it works lol

Honestly they should have just made this into a new movie, bc making it a series implies more to follow and in general a longer narrative, but these eps were barely 20 minutes each, so there's almost no point splitting it like that. Did I enjoy myself? Yeah, I always do when Leon is involved, but it could have been so much better.

Also the silly little shipper in me is kind of desperate for more interaction between Chris and Leon, bc as far as I'm aware it's just RE6, RE vendetta, and RE ID (and I think the person who told Chris to save Claire in either code x or Veronica was Leon? Not 100% about that tho lol) where they actually interact with each other, and considering that they're the two main characters of the franchise, they should probably meet up more? Idk, that's just my gay ass hoping for more Chreon content lmao but still.

ANYWAYS yeah, I would rate the show like a 7.5/10? It wasn't amazing but it wasn't garbage, either. Probably my least favorite of the four animated movies tbh, but I will take the Leon content, thank you Capcom. Also it was interesting to see Leon around the time following/around RE4 and RE degeneration, I thought, I dunno.

oh boy I agree 100% it was wrapped up way too quickly in the end. like killing Jason? by just dropping him in the acid? it was way too simple and easy if you ask me. and like, why didn't he yeet Leon into the acid when he had him by the throat? him not killing Leon makes zero sense to me??

asdfg yeah I get they weren't ready to let Jun See go, but I bet Jun See really would've preferred to go...

I am so happy that they kept the one liners!! Leon felt very, very in character which I loved so much. I was afraid they'd tone it down or make him super serious or so, and it was such a relief they didn't. he was so eager to help and so goddamn kind to everyone I don't know if my heart can even handle it ;;;;;

also Claire!! so badass!! I loved the part where she attacked the guy with the lamp (yes Chris would be super proud haha) and THE HEADBUTT seriously, one of the top highlights of the entire series :'D

(but honestly this is gonna get long i'mma gonna hit that read more here)

and the flirting scene, I do think they could've left it out entirely and it felt a little strong-armed in. but I'm trying to look at the silver lining? Leon was super goddamn adorable in it, like, so cute it hurts :'D and Shen May didn't seem bothered really, it was more this joking thing between them. so while yes, it was unnecessary, i'm focusing on the joking feel of it and choosing to interpret it as such :'D

also, can I just say, the "romantic moment" with Claire and Leon near the end didn't feel very romantic to me? I know it's a romcom cliché (or at least a fanfic cliché lmao) how they ended up in a pile after the rescue but ...it didn't scream romance to me? although I do kind of like the pairing! (not a top fave but a cute one)

and yes, the whole "when are you gonna stop treating me like a kid?" "probably never" felt SO much like a sibling moment!! such big brother energy from Leon, and I don't know, that made me super duper happy?? I want them to be friends. I neeeed them to be friends gdi. which is why I am unhappy with how mad Claire seemed to be at Leon in the end and how they left it off like they did. I am hoping that it sets things up for a second season? and they for whatever reason need them on kind of the opposing sides at first? because otherwise it makes no sense to me for her to be that disappointed in him. in Degeneration they already establish they work in different ways towards the same goal, and for that to do a 180 now feels... like a disservice to the characters? idk?

lmaooooo but yes Patrick 100% wanted to suck Leon's dick he didn't even try to be subtle about it :'D idk I would've wanted Patrick to have more depth and screentime too, i so wish they would've made it a longer series and given the characters more development. because I liked pretty much all of the new characters they introduced! but it feels none of them reached their actual potential!

then again that is kind of the whole deal with resident evil in general, they set up awesome characters and end up wasting them half of the time :'D guess i shouldn't be surprised.

THE SLOWLY RISING ACID PISSED ME OFF lmaooo c'mon!! it doesn't seem like a good self destruct measure. especially since ...you'd need different acid to dissolve organic matter and to dissolve inorganic matter if we're being nitpicky. and how would it be plausible for them to store enough of it safely to even do this?? they should've just detonated the whole place and blown it to smithereens or something, the acid was. stupid.

i agree, it feels like a movie. but I think @tirsynni is probably right when saying that it was sort of a test run to see if they should make more? which I am so hoping for. because even with the complaints I have of this, I DID enjoy it, a lot!! and I do want more! and maybe this time we get Claire and Leon actually working together for more than fifteen seconds! :'D

also I definitely would not say no to more Chris and Leon interactions. (yes it was Leon who told Chris to save Claire :) at least that) it... in general makes no sense to me how capcom seems to think friendships work? like how Sherry is all "Leon and Claire are my best friends" and then they imply they haven't met in years? if not more? idek it's. weird. it's like their characters go into storage containers in between their missions to be stored away so they can't even accidentally have personal lives or friendships or anything. weird.

(what I said about having amazing characters and ending up wasting their potential? yeah)

for me, personally, it's... well, my score for the show would depend on whether I just focus on the characterizations and what I liked, or if I try to actually take the plot and all into account too :'D but I did like this more than Degeneration! already the fact that Leon has actual facial expressions is enough to put it way above that one. (and for the record, I don't hate Degeneration either, I do like it, but... Leon is such a cardboard cutout with zero personality in it, it's super frustrating)

idk I think I need to still process this a bit to see how I will like it in the end :'D there are things i'm super hyped about in it, and things i'm disappointed in, let's see how they'll weigh in the overall experience eventually.

#idutr #replies #ask and i shall answer #re answers #infinite darkness spoilers #spoilers #infinite darkness

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