#iTs sO sAd WiLLiAm dIeD wItH oUt aNyOnE kNoWinG

[batcavescolony]

"She's [Wanda] not my mom. I have a mom."

WE RESPECT REBECCA KAPLAN IN THIS HOUSE! I TOLD Y'ALL! THAT IS HIS MOM!

[oatmealdoodles]

My messy thoughts on the new episode

(spoilers for Ghostf**kers)

tldr I LOVED this one the animation saw POPING OFF the writing was great, it was well paced, everything. I just wanted to ramble so here i am talking to no one:

Ok right off the bat i had to pause this like 7 times in the first five minutes because the beginning of this is just packed with insane jokes, glass to see they havent forgotten about being a comedy show

It’s so sad to see Blitzo in this state, especially that it’s been over a month. Like look at this guy he is GOING THROUGH IT.

also this was uncalled for how can you do me like this?

ok like my one problem i don’t like this little Scooby-doo reference with old people. I just skipped it and lost nothing, i don’t know why this is here.

the fight between Blitzo and Millie in the vents was also really well done im so glad Millie is putting up boundaries on dealing with everybody elses Bullshit.

I also don’t hear anyone talking about this but Vivinie Williams (Millie’s VA) did so well in this. Like all the voice acting in this show is peak but I’ve only really heard praise for Brendon and Bryce. Their argument here specifically, the fury in her voice was so well done, bravo.

JESUS CHRIST THEY DID NOT NEED TO GO THIS HARD this scene has been stuck in my head for the past two days, Brandon killed it in he recording booth, the animation is also just so VICERAL. Also the way the fire starts from his hands because he blames himself for it, like Viv went too far with this one. That was not ok.

Bitzo’s panic attack was also done so well. Little detail but i love that when Blitzo screams “Don’t touch me!”, Millie respects this and doesnt, instead comforting him with words. They only touch when he’s calm and ready. Love that.

Bro i was NOT expecting a flashback on how Millie met Blitz, also Millies design slays so hard

the way I gasped.

I also didn’t realize how much I needed an episode focusing on these twos friendship until now. Like FINALLY a Millie episode that doesn’t suck!

Little thing i realized but notice how Blitzo doesn’t make a sex joke at this. Blitzo. Not making a provocative joke. Really just goes to show how UNCOMFORTABLE and SCARED he is. I physically recoil every time I see this it’s gross

Those flashback scenes were also just so brutal. Like chaining his horns so he’s FORCED to watch is so psychotic I can’t.

its kinda sad that Blitzo’s whole motivation for doing this is to distract himself from his feelings, when that’s what he’s literally forced to confront by Ronaldo.

Love a possession story. I can really appreciate how Millie does not believe Ronaldo for a second, she knows that Blitzo would never think that of her and she trusts him enough to be confident in it. Nice subversion, you go girl.

This was so needlessly brutal and funny, they really went all out with this one

Yeah I think that’s all I wanted to day, just again i loved this one and it was definantly worth the multiple-month wait. Though my Hyperfixation has mostly died im hopeful that it will resurrect soon. We’ll have to wait and see.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Anna Magnani (Rome Open City, Mamma Roma, The Rose Tattoo)—don't take my word for it, here are some of the things she was called during her career: "la lupa (the wolf) of Italian cinema," "passionate, fearless, and exciting," "the volcanic earth mother of all Italian cinema," "one of the most impressive actresses since Garbo," "Whenever Magnani laughs or cries (which is often), it's as if you've never seen anyone laugh or cry before: has laughter ever been so burstingly joyful or tears so shatteringly sad?" and maybe best of all, from Tennessee Williams, who wrote multiple roles specifically for her: "She is simply a rare being who seems to have about her a little lightning-shot cloud all her own...In a crowded room, she can sit perfectly motionless and silent and still you feel the atmospheric tension of her presence, its quiver and hum in the air like a live wire exposed, and a mood of Anna's is like the presence of royalty."

Rosemary Clooney (White Christmas)—Rosemary!!! Her singing voice is incredible, she looks stunning in everything she wears, she has this quiet gravitas on screen that I haven’t seen anywhere else!! She deserves to be known as a lot more than George Clooney’s Aunt (if anything, I think of him as Rosemary Clooney’s nephew who also went into the business). Also when she got older she had this amazing sexy raspy voice (which sadly was due to smoking a lot but doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s very very sexy)

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Anna Magnani:

An icon of post-war neorealist italian cinema - an unbelievably good actress. Also, the first non-english speaking actress to win the Oscar for Best Actress (in 1956)!

realness!! amid the typical hollywood pristine glamour anna magnani stuck out as sexy in a really real, grounded way. so much so that even shallow 40s hollywood allowed her to come over from italy to be in some high profile movies. an icon

She smoked, she drank, she didn't give a f-. Her acting was described as explosive, with a lot of emotions and drama and they called her a she-wolf. Playwright Tennessee Williams became an admirer of her acting and wrote The Rose Tattoo (1955) specifically for her to star in, a role for which she received an Academy Award for Best Actress, becoming the first Italian – and first non-English speaking woman – to win an Oscar.

Rosemary:

Rosemary Clooney made very few movies, and built her career mostly as a singer--however, anyone who has ever seen her in White Christmas understands that this was Hollywood's loss, because she exudes glamour and charm and does a wonderful job acting it as well. She's gorgeous, she has a beautiful voice, she has one of those faces that the screen just loves, and she is, frankly, hot as hell.

An absolutely amazing singer and so stunning. Her performance in that black dress in White Christmas just takes my breath away every time. She's also George Clooney's aunt.

She was a very cool woman, who had a very hard life. She had severe mental health struggles throughout her life and left the stage for quite a while, but fought hard to make her career comeback later in life with a little timely help from good friend and frequent collaborator Bing Crosby. She also duetted with Marlene Dietrich early in her career

Okay so obviously she's more a singer than an actress, but she was still one of the best musical actresses of the era! They just didn't know what to do with her. She really wasn't a dancer at all, so you'll see most of the numbers in White Christmas she's got a convenient prop to sweep around. However, this ~weakness brought about a love story for the ages! Dante Di Paulo (you may know him as the mustachioed townie rival to the Pontipees in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) was hired to teach her to dance and they fell in love over rehearsals. Separated by filming schedules, Rosemary ended up marrying José Ferrer and breaking Dante's heart, but 20 years and two divorces from José later they met in traffic. Not about to miss her second chance, she honked her horn and yelled her phone number at him (talk about carpe diem). He moved in a couple of months later but they finally made it official in 1997 because "our grandchildren want us to get married". They were utterly devoted to each other and he was very much a Wife Guy.

when she. when she. 'love you didnt do right by me' from white christmas-

She was very funny and very civic-minded, she campaigned with RFK during his presidential run. She had a very close bond with her nephew (that George Clooney yes), he even had her songs on the playlist when he proposed to his wife! She didn't enjoy singing this song from White Christmas, as it wasn't quite in her range, but she's incredibly powerful and undoubtedly very hot in this scene (fun fact, oscar winner George Chakiris is one of her dancers here, before his big break!) -

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

New Home

AU Reverse Therapy

Previous Part: (Not)Salvation, Next Part: Peaceful Sleep

Summary: Luka and Virgil bring the girl to her new home.

Pairing: Chaos!Lamenter/fem!OC/Chaos!Flesh Tearer

Characters: Malina (fem!OC), Luka The Angel (OC Chaos Lamenter), Virgil (OC Chaos Flesh Tearer)

Warnings: yandere, violence, mentions of necrophilia and cannibalism

Word count: 2030

Author's note: I really enjoyed writing these idiots.

Song: Inkubus Sukkubus - Danse Vampyr

Tag List: @kit-williams

When Luka officially became a member of the Red Corsairs, he underwent several modifications at the local apothecary. Increased strength and agility, unholy rituals. But no one told him what one of the chemo treatments meant. His new brothers wanted to have fun and see his reaction.

And he, feeling previously hidden emotions, could not resist and gutted the poor female cultist. Later, when he learned that he now felt desire, his soul of the Lamenter sang. Even having become a traitor, he still valued mortals. Not all, but still the need to care remained. And now it has become much more intimate.

He constantly kidnapped mortals. But they died quickly and this made him so sad. Poor "Flower" could not withstand his unbridled desire and her heart eventually stopped. He immediately ate her remains out of grief after he finished. "Rain" cried constantly. Although Luka constantly apologized for having to cut her to drink her blood. But then he had no control over himself and was afraid that he had damaged her neck!

The bad "Pet" was to blame for herself. She always called him a traitor, bit and scratched. Once she wanted to kill him! Luka had to punish her and the once proud imperial soldier began to eat human flesh from the floor like a dog and go under herself with a stupid smile on her disfigured face. In the end, he threw her into the pit with the other slaves. Perhaps she is still alive and hunched over on the lower levels. Luka did not know and did not want to know how the vile bitch was doing.

But this girl... she is different. She is special. Luka had never wanted to possess anyone as much as her.

The rescued city girl was still sleeping on his bed, tired after what she had been through. Her dark hair was scattered across the pillow, and her olive skin was thoroughly washed from ash and dirt (but only exposed areas of skin!) This was just right for the space marine. Not only did he have time to return to the massacre (pouring acid on the inhabitants and eat parents before children's eyes was especially fun), but he also had time to prepare everything.

He ordered the slaves to wash the room clean (he did not live in filth, but the unholy bloody signs had to be removed), drew a two-headed eagle (it turned out crooked, but he tried), got everything the girl needed. Sets of clothes, food and dishes, soap for the bath. Malina should have everything.

Virgil was either at the councils all this time, discussing further robberies, or having fun in the torture chambers with the captured slaves. Luka knew that the space marine was also interested in the girl, although he did not show it.

Never mind, soon Virgil would stop acting like a proud man and would also adore the girl. Luka knew his friend well, even if he denied their connection. Unfortunately for him, the lamenter was not going to give him a choice regarding their relationship.

He rarely gave anyone a choice when it came to affection.

A sudden moan pulled Luka out of his dark thoughts and he turned his attention to the waking girl. Malina did it obviously reluctantly after a hard day, but the warm and comfortable bed did its job. In the end, she opened her dark brown eyes. Blinking a couple of times, she stared in surprise at the traitor leaning over her.

“A-Angel?” - the girl said incredulously.

Luka swallowed. He felt himself harden. Sweet, sweet Malina. No, he must not lose her. He must do everything right and then she will stay with him forever. Soft, warm.

Alive.

“Call me Luka.” - the young man clenched his fist tightly, restraining his urge to stroke the girl’s hair. - “You are safe now. No one will touch you again.”

Only at that moment the girl looked around in confusion. The space marine could not decide where to look. At her surprised face or at her thin neck. At everything, perhaps.

“What? Where am I?” - peering into space, the girl listened to the sounds of air supply surrounding her. - “Is that a ship?”

“That’s right, dear. I’m very sorry, but your world has been captured… by heretics. We had to perform an Exterminatus, and took everyone we managed to save with us.” - the young man nervously licked his lips. The arousal from the blatant lie slowly enveloped him. - “This is your new home now.”

“Y-you are so kind, I” - the girl sniffed, trying her best to wipe away unwanted tears. - “Oh, I don’t even know what to say. I-I… what will my duties be?”

“Just cleaning my armor. And Vergil, he is not in the room now. But you will meet soon,” - the young man smiled happily. - “Don’t worry, you will like him. And he will like you too.”

“Allright.” - the girl smiled shyly. - “Oh, um, my name is-”

“Malina.” - Luka quickly interrupted, hoping not to hear the girl’s real name. He had been thinking about it for so long, it suits her so well and he did not want to know her previous name. What if it turns out to be more beautiful? - “This is your new name. All mortals take new names when they join our service. It is tradition.”

The girl blinked at such expressiveness. She hugged her knees and the worn blanket tighter to her chest. Awkwardly shrugging her shoulders and brushing her bangs off her forehead, the girl muttered embarrassedly.

“F-fine. Malina is a very beautiful name.”

Luka bit his lip, hoping to suppress his groan. If only not to scare her and embarrass her even more. She is so cute! So gentle. Sweet, sweet like juicy raspberries, like warm blood~

The girl looked at Luka warily and he cursed under his breath. It seemed that his eyes widened again like a madman. He was so overwhelmed with emotions that it was difficult to control them. But the girl's attention was immediately distracted by the suddenly opened door. A frightened sigh escaped from dry lips and Malina pressed herself against the wall.

Virgil, who returned to the quarters, was the embodiment of chaos. Pale gray skin was covered with several scars. Two of the largest and deepest were located along the nose and lip to the cheek on the left side of his face. His bright red eyes, white eyebrows and pointed teeth stood out brightly against his bald head and skull.

The black and red armor was covered in someone else's blood, and on his belt there was a new cut piece of flesh with the unfortunate man's face standing out on it. And that's not even mentioning the three skulls hanging on a stake behind his back. To put it simply, Virgil looked like a real heretic and definitely wasn't going to change his image.

Hmm, they somehow didn't think of that.

"Look who woke up~" - the chaosite who entered slowly stretched out the words. The black tongue in his mouth made it seem as if the man didn't have one at all.

The girl trembled and pressed a piece of cloth to her heart, looking at the Lamenter with hope. As her savior. A hero. An angel. And, oh, Luka was going to enjoy this role to the fullest.

"And here's Virgil! Don't be afraid, he may look like a butcher, but he won't hurt you.” - the smiling man soothingly stroked Malina's legs. - "You know, fighting heretics is exhausting. But all enemies are afraid of him."

“Hah, that’s true. With my arrival, the Imperial Guard praises the God-Emperor, and His enemies commit suicide just to avoid falling into my hands.” - the man grinned evilly, closing the door behind him. Black gloves gently stroked one of the skulls. - “These ones were unlucky.”

Still, although Virgil did not try very hard to pretend to be a servant of the Corpse on the Throne, it was impossible to deny at least some attempts. And yet, Luka could not help but feel nervous, looking at the Red Corsairs’ insignia on his belt (the Flesh Tearers’ insignia was still on his shoulder pad).

The Lamenter was one of the few who had not completely changed his armor, adding only a couple of distinctive elements. That’s why Malina took him for a loyalist. But Virgil…

However, the still frightened girl relaxed a little.

"S-sorry, our world was only visited once by Space Marines to replenish supplies. The Lamenters. The other legions, um, were unknown to us. My planet is not the most important in agriculture. So your arrival was a real blessing." - the girl awkwardly glanced at the red-eyed man, preferring to look at her knees. - "Again, m-my apologies."

It is fate. It is definitely fate.

Even Virgil looked at Malina with interest. Despite the fact that it was he who came up with the idea of ​​playing the role of loyalists, it seems he thought that the girl would quickly figure them out. But it seems she was too naive. Or maybe they were just too good at pretending.

“It’s fine, we understand.” - the young man almost switched to a whisper, calming the captive. - “As I said, you just need to clean our armor from blood. Well, and clean the quarters. You will have everything you need. But you must not leave this room.”

“It’s too dangerous on the flagship.” - Virgil joined the lamenter. - “We constantly have to fight heretics and go to not the most rosy places. Someone like you can easily be trampled or sent to hard work, without paying attention to the one you serve.”

“You can even hear not the most pleasant sounds.” - the blond spoke. - “Screams and pleas for help. Sometimes it comes down to real carnage, hah. We have to interrogate our enemies. And, um, Sanguinius' gift has its... flaws. We have to, well. You see-"

"We drink human blood."

"Yes, that's right. We drink human blood. It's the Black Thirst. But it's that rage that makes us so good at fighting heretics." - The young man raised his hands in a calming gesture as he saw Malina's wide eyes. - "Don't worry, everyone gives their blood willingly."

What a blatant lie.

“Everyone must pay their duty to the Imperium. Each in their own way. But your fate is far better than others.” - Virgil chuckled darkly, stepping closer despite Luke’s displeasure. - “Isn’t that so?”

And of course, at that moment, a heartbreaking scream was heard in one of the corridors. Luka involuntarily cringed, holding back his growing rage. Why, why, was everyone trying to ruin his plans for Malina? He had tried so hard.

The hoarse screams of the unfortunate victim, unable to ask for help (let alone the pointlessness of doing so) eventually began to fade. The telltale sounds of broken bones and slimy slop told of the foolish mortal being caught and dragged across the floor back to the quarters for more fun.

Luka stared at the terrified Malina. The poor thing stared at the door before glancing at her two masters. The men looked at the captive expectantly, waiting for her reaction. Partly enjoying her beautiful, terrified look. Partly nervous. Would she scream? Beg them to let her go? Had she realized that she had fallen into the hands of the warriors who had destroyed her world?

No, no, not now, not Malina. He had come to terms with the deaths of other mortals. But she was special, he had saved her, she had almost believed their lies about the God-Emperor. Everything was going so well. He didn't want to kill her.

He already loved her so much.

"I get it. I-" the girl whispered, sobbing. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She pulled her knees up tighter, wrapping herself in the blanket like a cocoon. - "I'll be here."

Luka sighed with relief. Unable to contain his emotions, he nevertheless allowed himself to hug Malina. A massive gloved hand gently stroked the back of the quietly crying girl. Virgil stood nearby like a statue, watching this picture with interest. One thought arose in both of their heads.

Such a good girl.

[burningvelvet]

on percy shelley & human connection & coping through art

to set the mood of this post i must say i'm writing it really quickly on my phone over a bowl of pasta with bread & broccoli & some orange flavored sparkling water & im still dressed in my outdoor wintery clothes (all black, knee boots, wool, silver chains & rings, although i mostly prefer gold jewelry).

so anyway today i've been kind of sad over ppl not replying to my texts & my usual reaction is to say "ok, guess i'll kms, wah wah, cry cry" but this sort of passively cynical joking schtick has gotten old & i would rather occupy myself some other way instead of moping about failed connections or the difficulty of initiating contact with anyone or the struggles of modern socialization as a whole.

instead, i will read the works of percy shelley tonight, and think about how he struggled with all of this over 200 yrs ago. of how hard he struggled to make leigh hunt and lord byron collaborate with him on their journal the liberal, and how he struggled all his life to build a positive community even in spite of years of bullying, ostracization, and family strife - he often felt like giving up, and like human connection was impossible, but he never gave in to apathy and instead he continuously curated his ideal life by seeking out other like-minded people, even when he occasionally embarrassed himself in public or when others were decidely averse to him or lukewarm in their reception. john keats didn't entirely take to him when they met and some of keats' friends straight-up disliked percy for being weird, but percy (though scarcely knowing him) loved keats as a brother-poet nonetheless, was generous to him, wrote one of his masterpieces in his favor, and died with a copy of his poems in his pocket.

percy always reached out to others and was a loyal friend even when others disrespected him or ignored him or just simply didnt love him as much as he did them. his letters to lord byron show how reverent he was to his friend, and how his affection was never returned in quite the same gusto, but, while still trying to keep his self-respect, percy quelled his frustrations and continued his correspondence with byron regardless. percy acted as the mediator between byron and claire even when his stress was so high it weighed heavily on his health. he actively tried to choose to be positive even when the people around him were negative or miserable. like most writers back then, he sent his writing to his idols, and sought mentorship from people he admired, like william godwin and leigh hunt, and he continued to respect them even when they took advantage of him financially (moreso in godwin's case).

anyway what i mean to say is that whenever im feeling lonely or rejected or alienated or socially stupid or am just second-guessing my role in society or whatever whatever whatever, i cling to creativity/art/literature/etc. even harder than i regularly do, because thats what it exists for.

i knew a therapist (not one i saw as a patient, but someone i knew through mutual interests in media/the arts) who said that a certain musical performance we both loved probably saved way more lives than any single therapist ever has. - the performance in question was david bowie's tokyo 1990 live recording of rock n roll suicide, an anti-suicide song (its available on youtube, go watch it lol, he performs it with so much conviction).

any way even though at the end of his life shelley sometimes felt like he was failing to achieve his dream of building a utopian art commune - he actually did succeed in introducing several people to each other in ways that changed peoples lives. his friends jane williams and thomas jefferson hogg got married only through his mutual friendship. whole literary societies have been started in his honor - to this day there are conferences & whatnot that meet annually - his life & writing continues to inspire people and bring them comfort - & he would be extremely proud of that - any artist would. the main goal of any famous dead writer is basically to become the imaginary friend of their future readers & he accomplished that - even though all the time he was wracked with doubt/depression/suicidality/illness/chronic pain, etc. - as a political/philosophical radical, he realized that having hope is one of the most influential & radical things one can do - & i'm glad that, even though this is a person who died over 200 yrs ago, there is at least one person who really resonates with me - even though we're from different centuries, different continents, different sexes, etc. - it's helpful to have positive influences to look up to, especially when they've also struggled in similar ways as you. and although shelley was pretty privileged (rich englishman) he really did struggle a lot mentally & physically - his life was a chaotic mess - and he wasn't perfect at all - but i think he's still inspirational for my previously mentioned reasons - his ceaseless hope. the last poem he was working on was titled the triumph of life, even though he wrote it during a deep depression. the last poem he published in his lifetime was hellas, which he hoped would raise money for the cause of greek war of independence. from the poem:

"Life may change, but it may fly not;

Hope may vanish, but can die not;

Truth be veiled, but still it burneth;

Love repulsed, — but it returneth!"

[dream-a-little-longer-1]

Beautiful Pain :

Helping these characters on a rough day

Author : so hello!!(人*´∀｀)

No,im not dead. I was just really busy and didnt feel like writing honestly.

And like,i see blogs getting so much love (lots of likes, comments and just simple asks about their writing,not requests) that it just makes me upset how nobody really enjoys mine :)

*sighs* honestly im used to it so its ok.

Anyways! here's something for u guys ;)

✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.

Albert

•as soon as Albert closes the doors to your room behind himself

•he lets out a heavy sigh; rubbing his temple with shaky hand

•he can already feel a headache coming

•so when he lays down on your shared bed,and burrows further into the cold sheets that feels like heaven

•he doesnt expect anyone to knock on his door

•his heart thumps with sadness when he thinks bout having to deal with another matter

•After all duty is more important than anything

•but just as he's about to rise up,the door opens slowly,and in the darkness of the room,he can see your figure shyly stepping inside

•he can always recognize you,even in the dark

•even if he's blind

•so when you move towards him,where he's currently sitting on the bed

•he reaches out for you,and takes hold of your hand

•before planting a gentle kiss on your knuckles

• "Darling," and he hates how his voice is so tired

•and of course,you notice. You always do

•so when you slowly bury your fingers into his soft chocolate locks

•and start messaging his head

•and Albert can swear that he's died and went to heaven

•without realizing,he leans into your touch;until his forehead is resting against your stomach

•and finally,after a long week

•he feels like he can breath

.

William

•when William sits down on the couch in the wee hours of the night

•a deep,bone crushing numbness and exhaustion settles in his body

•his eyes are heavy,and they sting

•William rubs at them without any gentleness;applying an amount of unnecessary pressure until he can see stars dancing behind his eyelids

•and a heavy sigh breaks through from his mouth

•he feels exhausted, so much that he doesnt bother to take off his coat,or go to his own bedroom

•instead,he settles right there;head uncomfortably laying low from the lack of pillow

•but he doesnt care

•he just wants to sleep

•so when a pair of gentle hands raise his head slowly, only to place a pillow under it

•William knows its you, without opening his eyes

•because only you has ever treated him so gently

•you place a soft blanket on him,and with a kiss to his forehead,brush his golden locks away from his eyes

•William sighs out a breath of relief, whispers a small "thank you,my love",

•and falls into a deep sleep

[dee-in-the-box]

so, because i'm considering making a comic about The Prologue of Dsaf (basically, everything that happened pre-Dsaf 1, as well as maybe a little bit into the beginning of Dsaf 1), at least my headcanons for it, i thought i'd just list a few in text form, 'cause some of them might not be too clear whenever i get this comic made:

Dee's hair is darker than Jack's, and Peter's is darker than Dee. all of their hair colors are a different shade of red/ginger.

Peter moved out of Jack and Dee's house when he got engaged to Caroline.

Dee is quite literally just as chaotic as Jack is. makes sense, given he was the one she was around the most.

Jack told Dee that if anyone was being a dick to her (or was, in any way, trying to seriously hurt her), she could just bite them. maybe also scratch them like a cat. yes, Jack did (and still does, kinda) bite people. why do you think he taught her how to do that?

so, i've mentioned a couple of times how Jack is a trans man. he had a nickname, "Jackie," which was uh. a shortened version of his deadname. technically, he was only fully comfortable with Dee, Peter, and Caroline calling him that, but he didn't really protest when his employers/coworkers would call him that, and would even encourage them to do so, because, in his eyes, it's better than being referred to by his deadname.

Jack got a job at Fredbear's as a technician and nightguard when Peter moved out, a few months before Dee's murder.

Henry was actually the first employer of Jack's who both actually called him "Jack" and referred to him as a guy. Jack, at the time, viewed this as a good sign that this job would work out perfectly fine.

Jack and Dave actually talked a few times and would ""jokingly"" flirt with each other. this may or may not have also been the thing that got both of them to realize that they aren't straight.

Jack actually bought Dee a small stuffed kitten as a birthday present, a little red bow wrapped around its neck. nowadays, he uses it as a reminder of who he's doing all of this for.

Dee understood that Jack and Peter had to work so much to support her, but it still made her sad :(

neither Jack nor Peter were going to be able to be with Dee for her birthday due to work, so they both decided to schedule a birthday party for her at Fredbear's, so that she could still have a good day :]

Jack dropped her off, promised he'd be back at around six, and that they could even have a little birthday celebration at home that night before Jack had to leave for work. he'd even bring chocolate cupcakes, her favorite! he kisses her head, tells her goodbye, and then leaves. i believe we all know the rest from there.

Jack, on the night he died, wanted to check the cameras to see if there was any footage of Dee or the other children before they went missing. sure enough, there was.

also that night, before Jack went to do his job, he noticed a visible bite mark, as well as scratches, on Henry's arm. upon pointing it out, Henry tried lying and claiming that he just simply got attacked by a dog. Jack, a dog owner himself, told Henry he didn't believe him; he knows what a dog bite looks like, after all.

(looks like Dee took his advice, doesn't it?)

look, when i say that The Real Fredbear assigned Jack to be a partial dogboy, i'm not joking. he's got dog teeth now, he can literally make dog sounds (may or may not be based off of the Confusing Ending for Dsaf 2), he's got paw pads (kinda), he has claws. like, he might not have ears or a tail, but trust me: he's kinda sorta part dog now.

Henry: "So you see, William, I have the guy right here-" (suit is incredibly fucking empty, almost like nothing was ever in there to begin with) Henry: "..." William: "So...where's he at? Did you move 'im-?" Henry: "Fuck."

Peter blames Jack in the sense of "Why weren't you there to protect her?" the only reason Peter didn't let Jack stay with him was because he knew the police would be looking for him.

Jack scratched the word "LIAR" into Henry's car, and smashed the glass.

Peter may or may not have sued to clear his brother's name. and he did it by using the undeniable evidence of: JACK'S LITERAL BOSS SAYING THAT HE WAS WORKING THAT DAY AND COULDN'T HAVE COMMITTED THE MURDER. SERIOUSLY, HE SAW THE GUY WORKING NONSTOP ALL DAY HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK WOULD HE HAVE SOMEHOW SLIPPED AWAY TO COMMIT AN ACTUAL MURDER-

Peter began to suspect that Henry was hiding something. he got a job at a Freddy's location to get close enough to Henry to get the man to spill the beans. unfortunately, he died before that could happen.

however, what he witnessed on the day of his death...it did make him realize that Henry wasn't just hiding something: he was the motherfucker that killed Dee and tried to frame his brother.

Peter died having finally learned the truth...and then immediately had his memory wiped-

Jack and Henry nearly crossed paths several times. it's lucky for Henry that they never did, though; because Jack wanted to rip that fucker apart himself, consequences be damned.

i already have. another post talking about Blackjack specifically. go see that for details.

pretty much all of the Kennedy siblings after they died: FUCK Henry, all of my homies HATE Henry!!

that's about it for now. this is all stuff PRE-Dsaf 1. who knows when i'll get the beginning of the comic finished, but i'll try and work on it later. enjoy the headcanons in the meantime. :]

[ladyinrainbowglasses]

TBH, I do not believe Marilyn Monroe committed suicide. I have never believed it - from the fact that she had just bought an entire suite of furniture for planned redecorating, her conversations that night making plans for the next week, the reports of contemporaries and friends about her moods and her mindset in the months and days leading up. We also know that she died by enema, as there were no pills in her stomach or water in her room (she famously couldn’t swallow pills without an enormous amount of water), and the coroner said that “something unbelievable had happened to this woman’s colon”. That does not mean I believe she was murdered. The best evidence I have seen is that she died because of an accidental drug interaction or an accidental overdose on prescribed medication - something that kills thousands of people a year, most famously Heath Ledger. It is a real and present danger, just like suicide, but it is frequently ignored. It’s easier to attribute despair leading a person to taking their own lives than it is to attribute medical error, pharmacy error, or improper medication taking to an early death. When a young person dies, we have to make sense out of it. The prevailing narrative that Sex Goddess Marilyn Monroe was so deeply unhappy with her brutalization at the hands of the misogynist pigs of the 50′s that she took her own life is sexist and ableist in its own way. Marilyn Monroe was undoubtedly brutalized by men. Her own writing indicates that she was likely somewhere under the asexual umbrella and definitely somewhere along the bisexual axis. But, again, based on her own writings, her PTSD from brutalization often took a back seat to the mental issues that concerned her the most - her late mother and late grandmother’s schizophrenia diagnoses. Because of this, she was seeing two different therapists who prescribed her an entire pharmacy’s worth of primitive 50′s and 60′s “mental health pharmaceuticals”, including anti-psychotics as a “preventative” measure against schizophrenia. She was less worried about the rest of her life being spent being pushed around, brutalized, fantasized about, and owned by men than she was worried about spending the rest of her life in a mental institution, unable to recognize even herself (anyone else reminded of how Robin Williams’ suicide due to incipient dementia was viralized as ‘Funny Man Actually Have Big Sad’?).  Andrea Dworkin has always had a bee in her bonnet over women’s sexuality, but she re-enforces the patriarchal worldview that heterosexual sex is something done TO women, not WITH women. While that was definitely more on the nose in the 50′s and 60′s, we also know that Marilyn had love affairs which she enjoyed. She loved feeling wanted and needed and if she was a modern celebrity, we would probably see her Instagram photos of her barely-disguised triad, along with occasional discussions of how a triad is so great because she gets all the cuddles and never has to have sex she doesn’t feel like.  Reducing Marilyn Monroe’s death to being a deliberate “Take THAT” to male sexuality of the early 60′s is... not a great take. I do agree with the point that mythologizing and conspiracizing her death is an effort to diffuse feelings of responsibility and guilt, but just like “Blonde’s” torture porn of Feminine Suffering, reading her as killing herself because she was just so tired of MAN NEEDS reduces a complex, sensitive, intelligent, and multi-faceted woman to yet again being not a person, but a commentary.

Andrea Dworkin about Marilyn Monroe's death (something that Andrew Domishit should've read before making his dogshit of a movie)

[s1utspeare]

SLUTSPEARE PROUDLY PRESENTS............. THE WILLIAM WATCHLIST

brought to you by the WCU (William Cinematic Universe)

a.k.a. i'm watching william chan's filmography so you don't have to

will be updated once new william things come out! also i will not finish all of the shows on this list bc William has a........... questionable history (but i love him), so for shows i have seen at least three (3) episodes, even if I haven’t finished them fully.

THE ONLY FILM I WAS UNABLE TO FIND A COPY OF was Ex (2010), which makes me really sad. I looked for AGES and couldn't even find a DVD version (I had to get Beauty on Duty, Hi Fidelity, and Lost in Wrestling on DVD). I found a super grainy one with Indonesian subs, but that was all, so if anyone has a link to Eng subs, let me know! I also could not find Extinguished (2018), but that's a minute-long short film so I don't feel as bad.

very special thanks to @jockvillagersonly​ and @psychic-waffles​, who not only let me liveblog these films to them, but also partook in some of them with me. i love you both and hate that we did this.

anyway! in order of creation year:

Overheard (2007)

Baby’s first movie!!!! Awwww!!! This one was a pretty good one tbh, and for William’s first acting role he actually got a fairly big part! I was very proud of him and also squealed every time he was onscreen bc he was really cute

The basic premise is that a team of cops are listening in on this rich dude’s life to see if he’s embezzling, and they overhear him say that there’s gonna be a big rise in the stock market. Three of the team really need money, so they essentially put all of their savings into this stock, and then the market crashes, so they have to figure out how to get their money back, which embroils them in some sketchy shit

William is a baby detective!! He’s also cheating with one of the detective’s girlfriends lmao. My favorite part was that he fell asleep at a table and some dudes stole his key card to break into the server room and his boss was just like “again bitch?” And William was just like 🥺

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Pretty decent action film, and while I didn’t like the ending, it was a good movie overall.

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10 off to a strong start babes!! He was adorable in this and I love him to death

Trick or Cheat (2009)

There is........... quite a lot happening in this movie. Basically, a 24-year-old William is playing a thirteen year-old William who is the head of a middle school dance team, and all of his team members are dumb as fuck. so the principal is like “WILLIAM AND HIT CANTOPOP STAR GEM!!!! YOU MUST MAKE SURE YOUR TEAM GETS As ON THE HIGH SCHOOL ENTRANCE EXAMS OR YOU CAN’T DO YOUR END-OF-YEAR PERFORMANCE” and william and GEM are like “fuck that” and the team is like “are you going to help us study” and they’re like “no we’re going to help you cheat” and then they do

the cheating involves secret radios, farting in morse code and gassing the test building, and being possessed by foreigners including a recently-deceased (at the time) Heath Ledger, and I am honestly not sure if that is Rude or not. That’s not even most of the movie though, bc most of the movie is halfway-almost-not-quite gay, including a semi-accurate lesbian love confession that turns into a surprise incest plot at the end. 

also they do a musical about garbage and william plays a battery that has a very dramatic two-minute break-dancing solo and then dies

OVERALL RATING: 4/10. the story is bananas, the humor is pretty middle school, and it really just has no follow through on like any of it. also the acting is........... there’s only one really convincing acting scene and its when the dude gets possessed by heath ledger

WILLIAM RATING: honestly like a 4/10. they gave him basically no lines bc he had to practice his battery dance too hard, but he was there (and taller than everybody else) for most of it. mans could not keep a straight face tho

Seven 2 One (2009)

after the disaster that was Trick or Cheat, i wasn’t expecting a whole lot from William’s other big 2009 hit, but I was delightfully surprised by Seven 2 One actually! It follows the story of seven different people’s whose lives are all fundamentally altered in one moment, and the movie flashes back on their histories so that we can see how they all ended up there. 

It’s not the most original premise, but it was well-written, and the twists were just enough that it was interesting to see how the lives of each of the people were woven into one another. also there are some lesbians that scam everyone and it’s great. william is homophobic and then dies. love wins

OVERALL RATING: I’d actually give this one a 7/10! While it wasn’t the most original storyline and didn’t have super endearing characters, I was entertained enough and invested in seeing how we got to the One that I was pretty caught up in the whole thing 

WILLIAM RATING: 5/10. He’s only in it at the very beginning and at the end, but he’s sort of a lynchpin for the entire plot. Also he makes some good faces, and the lesbians call him cringe, so that’s nice. 

G-Force (2009)

YEAH HERE’S A FUCKING BIT OF FORBIDDEN WILLIAM LORE FOR YOU. THIS BITCH VOICED DARWIN IN THE CANTONESE DUB OF G-FORCE. HE’S A FUCKING GUINEA PIG. THAT DOES SECRET AGENT SHIT. TECHNICALLY AN ACTION HERO ROLE. BUT HE’S THE VOICE OF A GUINEA PIG. I’M LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING. THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER KNOWN IN MY LIFE AND NOW YOU ALL HAVE TO KNOW IT TOO. I’M NOT SORRY. 

Guinea pigs are secret agents and keep a bad dude from blowing up the planet. That’s it. I watched this movie in theatres when it came out and now i’m watching it again bc william is a fucking guinea pig. what has my life come to. 

OVERALL RATING: idek man. it’s guinea pig secret agents. 5/10? it’s fine, it’s silly. 

WILLIAM RATING: he makes some weird fucking noises in this. i love him. 3/10 because i don’t get to see his face. 

Beauty on Duty (2010)

It’s a Miss Congeniality knock-off! except the Sandra Bullock character (Sandra Ng) didn’t actually enter the pageant, but she was super cool anyway and I love her. Once again I don’t know who was writing this movie, but i’m starting to suspect that it was like. monkeys with typewriters.

you get the gist. the police need a guy to testify in court, but he’ll only do it if they provide protection for his daughter, June, who is a beauty pageant contestant. Ai Fang, the newest cop in the force, is pretty and kickass, so they put her undercover so that she can guard June. Along the way, she meets Jerry (WILLIAM) and has to take down all of the bad guys trying to get June while not blowing her cover as a fake pageant contestant.

tbh the funniest part of this movie was that for Jerry/William’s posters, they just used his “Will Power” album cover, so it had “William Chan” written on it. Like fam. You couldn’t do the minimum amount of photoshop?? i’m disappointed. the rest of the characters were very fun though, even if there was a lot of nonsense happening the entire time.

OVERALL RATING: 3/10. Miss Congeniality is definitely the better version of this, but it was fun and silly. My favorite part were the two undercover operatives. they got fucked by crocodiles when they were dressed up as crocodiles.

WILLIAM RATING: 3/10. Ok he really played the role of a superstar well bc I nearly swooned every time I saw him but like??? why was he there??? he didn’t do anything.

Split Second Murders (2010)

ok the only version of this i could find was a thai dub so I???? did not understand what was going on at all. but from the imdb it’s about this comic book artist named Luk whose editor wants his comics to be more violent and Luk is like “uhhhhh” and then he goes and sees violence in the real world cause people are mad at each other or something. again it was in thai i only know the particles and how to say i love you and also my thai nickname that my roommate gave me.

william shows up like halfway through the movie and plays a really intense game of mahjong that he wins I think??? then he pulls a bottle of coca cola out of nowhere and lights himself on fire at a wedding. 

yeah. 

OVERALL RATING: N/A because i could not understand what was happening, but it seemed silly! 

WILLIAM RATING: 3/10. His hair looks dumb as fuck and he’s wAY too intense about mahjong. points bc his character apparently teaches babies ballet for a living so we get to see him in ballet slippers which is great

Lover’s Discourse (2010)

This movie was SO GOOD?? I’m definitely finding this pattern in Hong Kong art films where they do like, interconnecting stories and slice-of-life but of different lives?? Sometimes it’s a hit or miss but Lover’s Discourse was DEFINITELY a hit.

Basically this movie is four different love stories; one of two childhood best friends who missed their chance, one about a laundress who falls in love with the idea of one of her customers, one about a kid who’s in love with his friend’s mom and exposes her husband for cheating, and one about two other couples who are in conflict (I can’t tell you the full synopsis bc it’s a spoiler but it FUCKED ME UP). William is the kid who’s in love with his friend’s mom and it’s honestly sort of creepy bc he like, stalks her??? And ruins her marriage?? But he’s also very obviously like seventeen and doesn’t know what he’s doing so it’s like??? Idk it made me very uncomfortable overall it was like “boy you need to STOP”

The rest of the movie though was SO GOOD. like there were very few lines and not a lot of action, but everything was very quiet and simple and read through the body language and acting choices and DAMN LIKE??? In the first part the childhood friends almost-kissed-not-quite and it was so full of longing and yearning and missed chances and it was SO GOOD??? And in the second part they do a spoof of the cdrama trope where the girl transfers energy into the guy to save his life, and in that part the guy is a mannequin of the actor to show that the girl’s fantasized man isn’t his real self, but anyway when they do the qi transfer thing the mannequin spews fake blood and it was SO FUCKING FUNNY. So yeah. Honestly this is a really really good movie even tho William’s a weirdo in it

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. I loved this movie. I would recommend it to anyone who likes soft films and complicated love stories.

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10. He’s GOOD in this role. He’s so confused and is just trying to be……. Something idk. he's creepy as hell, but a good 2010 William

All About Love (2010)

This was the cutest fucking movie i have ever seen in my entire life. everything about it was perfect. it was so soft and gentle and QUEER???? SO FULL OF QUEER LOVE??? i want to die i love it so much it's so so good

basically, Anita and Macy were lovers in school, but they drifted apart after they graduated and Macy went traveling. They meet again in a support group after both getting pregnant, fall instantly back in love, and have to try and figure out what they're going to do with each other, their babies, and the men who fathered the children. basically, they end up in a giant polycule with another lesbian couple and the two dads, and they all live happily ever after. i want to write so much fanfiction about them.

and okay. if I didn't love william so much already I would love him so much now. he is the absolute sweetest in this movie. he's nineteen and an idiot. he meets anita on a dating app and tries to act cool but then cums fifteen seconds into having sex and is so embarrassed he cries about it. he just wants to do his best and be friends with Anita and he cares for her so much???? when he finds out he's going to be a dad he cries about it?? and then cries when the baby is born??? also he does tarot readings on himself and is clumsy as hell and the most adorable man i've ever seen on this planet. he's so so good and he truly deserves his four girlfriends and boyfriend.

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. My heart was squeezed out of my chest with joy. I cannot believe they ended up in a canon polycule and that these two babies get to live in a house so full of love

WILLIAM RATING: 10/10 he's the fucking sweetest. I want to hug and kiss him forever. he's a complete idiot but he's so loveable. he becomes a feminist and also falls asleep on stairs. i would die for him.

Hi, Fidelity (2011)

I really don’t know what i was expecting from this movie but SHIT it was not what I got. like i knew that william was going to be a prostitute, but i didn’t know that he was also going to be gay AND have an evil twin AND be stupid AND act like the joker. Like??? what was going on in this script honestly

ok so the story follows these rich women (Alice, Jojo, Sevon, and Pinky) who are unsatisfied in their sex lives, so they decide to go to this brothel to get some action. this brothel has a dude named bill who is a sex god and can eat pussy at an astounding rate. turns out! this is because he has a younger brother named ben who looks exactly like him, so they tag team it so that they can be the Best Motherfucker Who Ever Fucked. Anyway, ben falls in love with alice, bill is actually gay, and all the women’s husbands eventually find out except for Sevon who had a lesbian crush on Alice the entire time.

honestly i should really have figured out that this movie was going to be absolute insanity when william fully pulled out his dick thirty seconds in and jacked off as his audition to work in the brothel. if that hadn’t done it, him going to jail for stealing a butterball turkey should have.

TRIGGER WARNING: i haven’t actually had to do this with any william movies so far but this does feature some non-consensual sex scenes. They aren’t super graphic, but I would advise keeping that in mind if you decide to watch this movie yourself.

OVERALL RATING: 6/10, mostly because I cannot believe anyone allowed this movie to be made. also they pulled off the biggest plot twist in the WCU, and I screamed.

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10 he’s fucking weird??? evil william is evil and stupid baby william is SO STUPID. the way that he distinguishes between the characters is that he makes stupid baby william stick his neck out SO far and also have no control over his limbs. i did love seeing him play a gay male sex worker though, bc that’s not a role you often see, so props to william for doing that.

Triad (2012)

so at first glance this movie poster is william, tits out, freshly whumped, and if you know anything about me, you know that’s a surefire way to get me to go “IM IN.” and it was for this one! i was so stoked about this movie and honestly it was only sort of a letdown, and that was only bc they tried to cram too many things in too fast, and it was all kind of rushed and confusing.

basic plotline is that william is a lil smarty pants who joins a gang so that he won’t get bullied anymore, but finds out that just being in a gang isn’t enough, so he attempts to garner as much power as he can with his two best friends, who have also joined the gang with him. as he gets deeper and deeper into the mafia life, he starts to lose himself in the power and struggle. it’s honestly super fun and full of action, even though it would have benefitted from more time? like this could have easily been a bomb-ass mini-series, and I would have watched the fuck out of it. 

william is also??? so fucking cute??? he’s literally the most adorable and i want to kiss his face. also this was like one of his breakout roles and I can see why; our good bitch is acting!! there were several moments where i was like “oh damn he’s getting good!” bc he was really turning it up for this one. 

the biggest critique i have is that they very clearly did not hire a composer for the background music and instead just remixed this one willy song like seven separate times. every single time there was a dramatic scene they played a different remix of this same song, and by the end i actually wanted to end my life over it. pls. 

OVERALL RATING: 6.5/10. There was quite a bit to be desired with the pacing, but the plot was fun and it clicked along super well! i also loved like all of the main characters, even though we didn’t get to see a lot of them. 

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10! this is my baby getting into it!! he does SUCH A GOOD JOB and he looks so good. minus some points because halfway through someone decided to do some shit with his hair that makes him look like an american dad and i honestly hated it. 

Hardcore Comedy (2013)

I think this was trying to be like the Hong Kong version of Jackass? it was not good. yet another interlocking stories film, but this one was just gross.

the first story was about two guys who just really wanted to fuck so they objectify women and then go on a police chase? idk there was way too much gross stuff going on so I just skipped to william's part, which was called Run on Drugs. basically he gets kicked out by his girlfriend and has no money, so he's living in his hot pink car with his tortoise (he covers his tortoise with a tissue at night so it doesn't get cold cause he's a baby). his friend is like "hey deliver some drugs for me" and william's like "ok" and everyone keeps trying to get him to do drugs but he doesn't want to until he gets tricked into eating a pizza with the drugs on it and then he gets naked and also can't drive anymore

i'm very convinced that someone saw william attempting to drive this hot pink car in this film and was like "that's it, we're never letting this bitch behind the wheel again"

OVERALL RATING: 2/10. If your movie starts out by saying, "if you don't find this funny, you're stupid or a prude!" i'm gonna go ahead and guess that it's not actually a very funny movie

WILLIAM RATING: 4.5/10. He was adorable, as always, and did some very silly things. He did try to put a used condom on his hand like a glove cause he's literally stupid, and i was like "sir. please. this is unnecessary." I mean he was trying to break into the business so he had to do shit like that ig but still.

Sword of Legends (2014)

IT’S ACTUALLY SO CUTE ok so like once again william’s staring in a series based on a video game (he’s not in the second one tho rip wills) and li yifeng is the main character, which is very fun, and takes the total number of william/li yifeng shows up to three (technically). ying haoming is also in it which i didn’t know and he’s a BITCH. honestly i think it’s a very fun time but idk how interesting it is we’ll have to wait and see

THE PLOT so there was a gay dragon and a gay sitar and they fell in love and then Gay Sitar let the Gay Dragon go when he became evil so he got banished from heaven and then the humans put him in a sword. later on a kid got possessed by the sword and then his village got blown up and so he went to another clan who could help him suppress his evil sword powers but he’s only kind of good at that. meanwhile, a girl from another other clan is trying to find her gege who disappeared when Sword Boy got possessed, and it turns out that he turned evil i think??? Idk. meanwhile there’s another gay-ass dude who’s looking for medicine who looks suspiciously like Gay Sitar player. They’re gonna have to figure out how to get the evil sword energy out of sword boy probably or else the bad guys will kill everyone.

WILLIAM’S THE SHIXIONG!!!! i love him honestly. he’s trying so hard to do a good job and protect his shidi. he tries to master all the cultivation but keeps getting distracted by shit but like PLEASE he loves his shidi and trusts him and wants him to be safe and happy!!!! i literally love him!!! he’s so good! i’m so afraid something bad will happen to him pls don’t hurt william-gege pls :(

OVERALL RATING: 7/10 this one is actually going to make me keep watching, even if ying haoming is a bitch.

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10 sit on me shixiong.

Golden Brother (2014)

This movie was like? fine? idk it was pretty alright! nothing super special but also not bad. the WILDEST THING was that the actor they chose to play william’s brother (bosco wong) looks SO MUCH LIKE WILLIAM that half the time that i was like??? who is that?? bc i thought that he was willy every so often

the premise is that a guy named sit ho ching is a loser at home and a loser at work. he gets fired, breaks up with his girlfriend, and his brother (william) gets let out of prison, but just fights with their dad all the time. Ching has no money and wants to make money so that he can give himself and his family a better life, so he goes into the gold investing business where his brother works. He becomes very successful and then discovers that money can’t buy happiness rip in peace 

william is a BIIIIIITTTTCCCHHH. he gets so angry for no reason. he’s very impulsive and silly but i think he’s trying his best? he tries to be angry at his brother for sending him to prison, but he’s not very good at that. 

OVERALL RATING: 5/10. Very middle-of-the-line film. Very average. don’t really have any complaints, but nothing really astounding to say about it either

WILLIAM RATING: also a 5/10. He was sort of sidelined for his brother’s story, which fair, but i love him. my favorite part was this one scene where he ugly cries for literally ten seconds and then immediately locks it down and goes back to what he was doing. bitch ain’t got time for tears. 

The Four (2015)

This show truly has it all, if by “it all” you mean the worst cgi and worst willy acting I have ever seen. Like. I could not even get through one episode. It was so bad. All of the buildings looked like they were modded in roblox and all the fight scenes look like someone took Snapchat stickers and made them fight.

I think the plot is essentially some bad dudes escape from jail and this squad of cool dudes has to stop them, and I’m pretty sure that’s basically it. 44 episodes of that nonsense.

And William? I hate him. Everytime he does a fight move he gives this stupid little smirk and it makes me want to kick his ass. I hope to god he gets his ass BEAT in this show bc frankly he deserves it. He does this breakdance spin and deflects one billion knives with his ass and then SMIRKS and I want to punch a wall.

OVERALL RATING: bro. Bro it’s so bad. 1.5/10 because at least it’s not Air Strike

WILLIAM RATING: 2/10 I hate him so much I want him to be put in a hole and buried alive

Legend of Zu Mountain (2015)

honestly what the fuck is this show. i have not understood a single moment of it since I began watching, and i doubt it’s going to get any better. it’s just???? so much is happening. 

anyway willy is the chief of this village where he lives with his wife whomst he loves very much, but he ate a magic evil rock at some point when he was a baby and now every month he goes insane and destroys shit, but also he’s a himbo so the villagers let him stay cause they think he’s cute. anyway one day the Demonic Clan comes and burns down his village to try and get the Evil Rock out of him and then the Righteous Sect takes him so they can get the rock and they have to train him to fight his evil powers, and also his dad was the biggest slut imaginable and is evil now. william just wants to see his wife but they won’t let him see his wife!!! his wife may also be dead that was implied but not certain

uhhh this show is crazy. everyone is color-coordinated in like, gem tones?? which you don’t see often in fantasy chinese dramas so that was very fun. they all have colorful swords and can do magic but it doesn’t seem like any of them are very good at it. william’s best friend from Age of Legends showed up and was gay and stole william’s money and william just. let him. because he’s a dumbass. he really has no brain in this one and i think that’s great. man loves his wife and that’s all. 

OVERALL RATING: uhhh like a 4/10. it was pretty fun! but also i did not understand a single fucking thing that happened in this plot who wrote this

WILLIAM RATING: honestly i think this is like my least favorite William and i don’t even know why?? 2/10. just doesn’t do it for me. 

Legend of Fragrance (2015)

william’s getting cute and funky and fun! in this one william plays a lil forensic scientist from Japan who comes to this town that is headed by these rival perfume warlords?? and there’s a MURDER but anyway there’s also a girl who smells really really good but no one can KNOW THAT bc perfume warlord #1 will go crazy and kidnap her so his ex-wife adopted her and is keeping her safe while Smelly Girl’s dad kidnapped Willy and raised him as his own (these are not spoilers bc they are given to you in the first two episodes). also perfume warlord #2 has a fued with Willy/Smelly Girl’s dad and perfume warlord #1 had a crush on Smelly Girl’s mom bc she also smelled good and has a useless son who can’t smell so he is a disgrace to the perfume business (played by Wu Xie from TLT1). Also Huang Youming is in here for some reason and I love him

so far the plot is absolutely bonkers and there was SO MUCH BACKSTORY but it’s convoluted in a fun way? Like just enough so that i’m like “wow you guys are silly!” but not so much that I hate it, you know? Also it looks like william gets whumped a lot and i love that for me

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Not quite enough to really hook me but it’s not bad! I give them points for creative insanity as well. 

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10. William looks fine as fuck at all times, and also he changes his outfit like three times in the first episode he appears in, and it isn’t even different days. also he swordfights and shoots a gun and does science, and I think that’s very sexy of him

As the Lights Go Out (2015)

This movie fucked actually???? I did not expect too much from it because I was like “yeah ok firefighter drama w/e” but it was actually really really good?? At least if you like action/disaster films, which I do.

Anyway the plot follows Sen, the head of a firefighting squad, as his team gets called out to stop the explosion of a natural gas plant (which, because of capitalism, explodes anyway). Then they have to do search and rescue and get everyone out. Y’know, as search-and-rescue films go. William is a baby firefighter!! It is his first day on the job!! He is hyperactive and adorable and adopts everyone as his dad. I love him.

So yeah it was like two hours that I did not regret (tho when have I ever regretted spending time with william ((that is a falsehood I have definitely regretted spending time with william)).

OVERALL RATING: honestly 10/10 for me. the action was great and there was some really interesting cinematography going on, which I very much enjoyed!

WILLIAM RATING: 9.5/10. He wasn’t in the movie quite enough for full points but I LOVED his character and loved how he acted him. Bb boy was doing his best and I’m very proud. Also he looked so pretty the whole time

Lost In Wrestling (2015)

This is the insanest movie I have ever seen and I am not kidding about that. During this journey I have watched some insane movies but this has got to be the wildest and I am honestly not sure how I feel about it bc I am just too stunned to even comprehend how it exists

Naren is a female wrestler from the Mongolian plains and one day she’s invited to come wrestle in Japan, where a kid from her village, Chi Na Si, ran off to ten years ago to become a sumo wrestler. When she gets there she finds him but she also finds this weird clown dude who runs a female fight club. Naren joins the female fight club to???? Win wrestling???? I genuinely don’t know. Anyway turns out that Clown Dude is actually Chi Na Si, whose sumo wrestling trauma jokerified him. Naren is like “bro snap out of it” and bro snaps out of it and then they go back to Mongolia and Chi Na Si wins wrestling

Was there a coherent plot? Absolutely not. Did it make any sense? No. Was William playing the joker the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life? Yes yes yes yes yes.

OVERALL RATING: 4/10 for the absolute most unhinged thing I think I’ve ever seen.

WILLIAM RATING: 6/10. Despite knowing that william was the clown man from the very beginning, his mannerisms were so different that I genuinely couldn’t tell sometimes. Also he went all out in his jokerification and honestly I have to respect that

The Mystic Nine (2016)

okay i’m not just saying this because i’m a fo-ye slut, but this actually might be Top-Tier William. Mystic Nine follows commander Zhang Qishan and his bffs as they go and hunt down mystical artifacts and fight the japanese and also ward off this weird american dude who wants to live forever. it’s part of the dmbj-verse, but honestly you don’t need to know anything about the rest of the series to enjoy m9

and m9 is William at his Best. He’s sexy. he’s Active. His hair is Styled. He makes heart eyes at every single damn character and seems to be amassing them for a polycule. You think that he’s a stoic but really he’s a giant gummy bear and I want to smack him for it. This is truly a Wonderful Willy and he deserved to be commemorated in wax for this role. 

like most dmbj series, sometimes the pacing is a little slow, but honestly all of the characters are so good and the action is interesting enough that you don’t mind. also zhang baby rishan is in there so that’s a bonus

OVERALL RATING: 9/10. Just a very solid and good show with quality plot, characters, and premise. I want season 2 right now immediately

WILLIAM RATING: 129438573948/10. This is my favorite william bc of just how multi-faceted he is. They gave him 48 episodes and he said “yes my good bitch” and i love that for me

L.O.R.D.: Legend of Ravaging Dynasties (2016)

Ok I keep saying that William’s a thot but he really was a whore for this one. This man wore the absolute sluttiest outfit in the whole franchise, and he looks like That so like. What am I supposed to do.

the LORD series is based off a video game I think?? Anyway this has like the same plot as Critical World which was interesting to me cause I didn’t know that. Anyway this bitch named Qi Ling gets kidnapped by a gay ass dude who is like “we’re soulbonded now” and then they go on gay adventures. Qi Ling has a Lion in his ass. It’s in his butt :)

Uhhhh like it’s half animated but William really went ham on this one. Everyone else us like doing normal facial expressions and this man is stretching his lips as far as they can go. Also I wonder if he had to wear that outfit in real life cause he would’ve loved that

OVERALL RATING: 6.5/10. I would much rather watch zhang mingen be a cutie than whatever this cgi shit was. Also I kinda fell in love with silver and then learned that that was Kr*s W* instead of him being Qi Ling like I thought so that’s disappointing

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10. I wish to GOD that this had been fully live action. I would pay to see William in his real life Duke Killing cosplay. He’s a slut and we love to see it

Love of Happiness (2016)

this show makes me irrationally angry because I want to live in domestic bliss with william chan as my husband. he's literally THE Perfect Man. he's so devoted to his wife and thinks she's the best and will do anything for her and he's so nice and smart and soft and!!!!!! i went insane.

The premise of this show is that Su Xiaonan and her husband, Kevin, move into a new house. Xiaonan is a screenwriter, and Kevin is a professor, and they move next door to a family who lost their son twenty-five years earlier. Kevin is an "orphan," and surprise! he's actually their long-lost kid. Who would have seen that one coming. Anyway, Xiaonan loved the fact that Kevin didn't have family to deal with, but now she has to deal with all of them and they're all crazy and they get into fights a lot, and Kevin has to come to terms with the fact that his parents didn't abandon him and also that he lost his childhood memories lmao. This show is 76 episodes.

I fell in love with william all over again tho. He was adopted and taken to America, so he gets words mixed up and speaks english and it's super cute! Also! It was one of william's first shows that used his real voice, so we get to hear his squeaky laugh!!! and at one point, he recites Hamlet, and my ovaries exploded.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. It was super cute! william's chemistry with tina tang is great, and they're such a good couple. I honestly have no idea how they're going to fill 76 episodes though, because william is the chillest man ever.

WILLIAM RATING: gosh. 11/10. Get you a man who massages your feet and looks like william and recites shakespeare. holy shit. i nearly became heterosexual for this character :/

I Love That Crazy Little Thing (2016)

Holy shit. Holy shit. Forget As The Lights Go Out, THIS is my new favorite Willy movie. Not because it’s good, because arguably it isn’t, but it’s just so fucking FUN. Like genuinely I think it’s one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in my life, especially with the physical gags (there’s another making-fun-of-cdrama-tropes bit where a dude spits fake blood and then keeps spitting it and then pulls out a water bottle of fake blood and drinks it so he can keep spitting ITS SO FUNNY)

The premise of this show is that Willy is a movie editor who dreams of being a director. On one of his projects, they forget to buy the rights to a song for the score, so to get brownie points, Willy goes on an Epic Quest with his assistant to find the composer and get the rights. Also he learns about love. That’s really where the movie stops making sense, bc while it is very good and has a decent set-up, they pace it so weird that nothing feels like they have complete arcs.

William though. William. My gosh. They let this man go and he WENT. he does not hold back. He makes some of the funniest fucking faces I’ve ever seen in my life in this movie. He’s all over the place; he rolls on the ground and falls through floors and drags a rolling suitcase through a desert and gets pelted by mangoes and wipes out on water jet boots like one million times, and you can tell he was having a fucking BLAST doing it. He’s so joyous and carefree in this movie, and he’s so lovable. An all-around wonderful and perfect man

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. It was SO fun and SO silly and I just WISH that it had been paced better

WILLIAM RATING: 10/10. Not only does he look so happy from making this movie, he’s good in it. Mans took his stunt work and said “let’s do some physical comedy” and I genuinely would die for him

Edge to Happiness (2016)

William was really going for it in 2016, like damn bitch. You were all over the place. this is a very nice and good william. he's evil and gay for part of it but then he gets punched and is sorry. also at one point he goes into a coma because he got too mentally stimulated and like. me too king. we've all been there.

anyway Edge to Happiness is about a girl named Su Xiaoxiao who gets cheated in a marriage scandal and needs a job. It's also about a rich boy named He Mu who runs away from an arranged marriage and gets kicked out by his parents and also needs a job. they get the same job surprise! then they fall in love but only after willy (who is he mu's older brother) falls in love with su xiaoxiao first. it's fourty-four episodes and it does not need to be

william is actually very soft and gentle in this!! he is also evil for part of it but he's not actually very good at being evil. he's a good big brother and even though he's rich and stupid he figures shit out. also he's super good at playing the piano for some reason and says that to play the piano you need to treat the keys like little elves, which according to my roommate who majored in piano is not how that shit works at all

OVERALL RATING: 3/10. This was boring as all hell, and really should have been like twelve episodes, max.

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10. See I want this man to be going feral and any and all times. If he isn't then what's the point? Bonus marks for the sweaters tho

72 Floors of Mystery (2017)

if this isn’t william at his most chaotic i don’t know what to tell you. a game show based on the dmbj series by npss, william shows up for like one and a half episodes and then fucks off to do god knows what by himself. we never see him again. unclear if npss killed him off on purpose or not. 

if you’re into dmbj, this show is just a very fun and silly time, and it features a lot of actors from the franchise, including some wu xie’s, a pangzi, li cu, and liu sang and kan jian as npss henchpeople/hostages (they were most certainly not paid enough for this)

William’s part in this show is mainly to look hot and cause problems. wu lei adopts him immediately. the fo ye theme plays whenever he does something, and most of the stuff he does is charming people into doing the work for him, and talking about when he was fo-ye, which honestly checks out

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Very fun but makes zero sense and also was badly budgeted

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10. This is William as himself and he is being The Most chaotic. He has come to cause problems and look good doing it, but he is only in two episodes, which is slightly disappointing if you’re me. 

The Founding of An Army (2017)

i am. still not entirely sure what happened in this movie. as far as i could tell, it was an excuse for someone to do a whole lot of explosion special effects and make it About Something. Like it was fine! but it was fine. The cast tho??? holy shit there were so many people in this one, and most of them were only around for like ten minutes, tops. 

This movie is about the formation of the Communist party in China during the late 1920s, especially the revolt on August 1, 1927. That’s like, the high point of the movie, and where the most explosions happen. It’s a good twenty minutes of explosions and gunfire and fighting and more explosions. Honestly I was impressed by the amount of explosions! that definitely cost a lot of money, which was probably why they could only afford to hire actors for like. three scenes. cause there were a lot of different actors in it. Li Xian was there. Lay was there. Bai Yu-gege was there. And of course william, my main bitch. 

William didn’t even get a name. He was present for under two minutes as a triad leader who sold guns to the fledgling Communist party, and did so while lounging sluttily on a box. honestly i really liked his character mostly because of his costume, which was so different in terms of styling and color palette that he stood out a lot. 

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. It was a decent movie! I do not really understood what happened but i think that’s more because i was multi-tasking while trying to watch, so I wasn’t keeping up with all the subtitles. I was excited that Lay was in it, but then Lay was only in it for seven minutes before he died the most dramatic-ass death ever. Bai Yu-gege dressed up as a bush. :)

WILLIAM RATING: 5/10. He was really really good, but was not around NEARLY long enough. i want a whole movie about just him. is this because i’m william biased? maybe so

While There’s Still Time (2017)

IT’S WILLIAM IN PARIS!!! This is a Vogue short film starring William and Bai Baihe. I think the basic premise of it is that William is like an uber driver for rich people and bai baihe is a rich people and they are in paris and while william is driving her around they end up sightseeing and shit. they eat crepes and dance. she smells an apple. 

it’s like six minutes and there’s no dialogue! but the music is very good and william looks hot and drinks coffee for like forty-five seconds while staring into the middle distance, i guess to like establish character or something????? there’s another part where he just stares at her like a weirdo. also there are rocket engines that get spliced in every so often and i honestly have no idea what that’s about. 

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. For a short film that I’m guessing is mostly supposed to just be “look at how good these two look on camera” they do look really fucking good on camera. good work everyone

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10, like i said, he looks good on camera. his earrings are like. giant diamonds tho and that was very distracting.

Love Lost in Times (2017)

ok i did watch this whilst intoxicated and that did not help my understanding of it even at all. the biggest surprise of this show was how many people were in it that i knew! like gong jun was just there! immediately! and i was like :O and then ji chen showed up and i was like :) Also one of willy’s best songs is from that show so :D

don’t quote me on this but i THINK the basic plot of this show is that william is the fourth prince of a dynasty and he’s really fucking good at it, and outshines all of his brothers and everyone else and is gonna become emperor, so one of his brothers is like “fuck you.” meanwhile, there’s a mage who is super good at being a mage but she and william are destined to fall in love but if they do shit will get fucked up so when shit inevitably gets fucked up the girl uses magic to go back in time and create a parallel universe and won’t let william fall in love with her so that shit doesn’t get fucked up. obviously it doesn’t work bc 1) fate and 2) william is a hot piece of ass.

I might come back to this one someday? idk i feel like there’s more things that I could be watching that aren’t this, even if william is in it. i genuinely don’t remember a lot of it but that is entirely my fault and it might be a really good show, I just wouldn’t know

OVERALL RATING: 5/10. Being high did not help, but i loved the mages, they were kickass

WILLIAM RATING: yeah yeah he’s hot as fuck. we get it. 7/10.

Air Strike (2018)

this movie sucked ass. if the white savior complex wasn’t enough, the fact that it makes no damn sense should be. This is supposed to be a movie about a squadron of Chinese fighter pilots who are being trained by an American commander (played by Bruce Willis) in WWII, but actually the movie doesn’t spend very much time on them at all, instead bouncing around between multiple other plots that ALSO don’t make sense. 

William is a fighter pilot named Charlie whose Comrade died in the war and he wants to get revenge but actually he’s like???? a bitch?? no one likes him. he fights with this other trainee over who gets to fly the Best Plane and william wins but then decides no so he ends up taking the lamer plane so the Protagonist Man (who isn’t even really the protagonist) can fly the Best Plane and then dies dramatically for it rip wills. 

uhhhhh this movie is just a lot of explosions and weird-ass stunts that wouldn’t work in real life and bruce willis does jack shit in it. also the dialogue is terrible. 

OVERALL RATING: 1/10. Not even william was enough to make up for how bad the rest of it was

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10. though the rest of the movie is bad, william is a pilot and i think that’s very sexy of him. also he gets one of his CLASSIC fight-scenes-in-the-rain so y’know that’s pretty good. 

Genghis Khan (2018)

For a movie about genghis khan this movie sure wasn’t about genghis khan. it’s about a man named Temujin (who i guess is technically genghis khan but that as much as we get), who is really good at riding horses and sort of good at fighting and is engaged to this one girl. on the day of their wedding, his fiancee gets captured by an Evil Man so he can resurrect his dead wife, and william has to go save her. 

i would probably have liked this movie if it were more fun, but as it is, it’s very boring for the most part. william just dances back and forth between Evil Man’s lair and the girl’s village. Like their arcs are Not Complete. Also I think they just die at the end? honestly not sure, it’s unclear. 

the best part about this movie is Alan, William’s magical horse, and also this fucked up lil gremlin creature that works for Evil Man that looks like something straight out of Star Trek for no reason

OVERALL RATING: 1.5/10. it was bearable

WILLIAM RATING: honestly like a 3/10. not william’s best role at ALL and definitely not worth him in 2018. That’s Queen mv time people. william could have been a lot sexier and a lot more naked in this one and the fact that he wasn’t is honestly homophobic

Only Side By Side with You (2018)

this is a cute one! i have not seen all of it bc i am very silly and lazy and also i think it’s like fifty-some episodes and i was not about to do that. Yet. Maybe i will watch it for William but honestly i don’t think he gets whumped enough in this one to be worth it. 

Anyway the premise is that william is the mafia boss/owner of a nightclub, and he was also in the military and had a gay-ass rivalry with this other dude (played by li xian of tientsin mystic). he meets the ceo of a drone manufacturing company and is like “i wanna date her” and then essentially ends up stalking her in kind of a non-creepy way? like it’s for sure weird but he’s not like sexual about it if that makes sense. also Gay-Ass Military Rival is Drone Girl’s best friend, so they have some conflict about that too. 

It’s fun! it’s cute! honestly i think it’s mostly worth it for William’s stunt work, cause he does some fucking incredible stunts in this one, and honestly everyone else’s physical acting is really good too. I don’t know if they’re going to be able to stretch the plot out to fifty episodes worth, but we’ll see

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Not really my thing, mainly cause of the romance, but i like the action and the plot so far. 

WILLIAM RATING: 9/10. He’s hot. He’s suave. He has a MILF boss. honestly the whole package. 

Age of Legends (2018)

GOSH THIS SHOW FUCKS. i say that after having made fun of it the entire time but honestly this one’s good. if you watch any William show purely for the William, I’d make it this one. The plot is snappy, if convoluted, and it doesn’t bog itself down with long, drawn-out romance scenes, because willy’s love interest in this bad boy is a bamf and also could kick his ass. we love to see it. 

really my only critique here is that william moves like he’s a mini-fridge that grew legs and forgot how to use them. he’s SO FUCKING STIFF. and like. it’s a character choice. but he does this weird thing where he doesn’t move his shoulders like AT ALL when he walks but his hips are swiveling like there’s no mañana. it’s so strange. also he has this strange little mustache for like half the show and it weirds me out just a little bit. but then again he does get whipped within the first twenty minutes, so that’s nice. 

i really liked this show! there’s an evil drug gege and william eats paper and also all the bamfs are women which we love! also evil drug gege’s relationship with willy is just very funny. the action is good, and the plot is well-paced, in my opinion. 

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. If you like cop dramas/drug cartel dramas, then this will fit the bill. it’s more action than romance for an action/romance cdrama, which is why i liked it. also william has some stupid friends. fun time all around

WILLIAM RATING: like a 12/10. this is a william post-Inside Me Tour, and he knows it. This man has worn laser tiddies and seen the future. he is too powerful to be stopped. 

Adoring (2019)

ok i went into this movie like “haha william gets cockblocked by a dog serves him right” and then i came out of this movie sobbing and emotionally destroyed by william and this dog. i could not handle it. william acted his ass off. the dog acted its ass off. i am not okay. 

Adoring is a series of stories about people and their pets! and they’re all super unique, which was nice for a pet movie! there was one about a girl and her best friend (played by my son Wu Lei) who has gone blind, so she trains her golden retriever to be a seeing eye dog for him; one about a guy who wants to propose to this girl but hasn’t told her that he has a pet pig; one about a girl who has extreme mysophobia but ends up raising a cat with her neighbor; one about a dad who is taking care of his daughter’s cat while she’s in America; a delivery guy who gets help from a stray dog; and then william, who wants to fuck his wife so bad but keeps getting stopped by her dog whenever he tries. all of their stories eventually come together, and it’s really really cute! i loved it a lot, there were so many feel-good moments and funny bits and it was just really really good. 

i will give spoilers tho: the dog dies in the end (only william’s not the other ones) but it’s like??? holy fuck. it’s so sad. and william is so good. and the dog is so good??? and one thing i appreciate about william in this movie is even though he keeps getting rekt by this dog he never asks his wife to choose between the dog and him he just accepts that they can’t have sex with the dog present and you know what?? get you a man like that. 

OVERALL RATING: honestly 10/10. was it high art? no. was it completely original? no. was it cute and funny and made me happy? yes. 

WILLIAM RATING: 15/10 he was so good and goofy in this??? i literally loved him so much he was so nice and sweet and understanding and just! ah! he was like a golden retriever himself. i would die for him. 

Gagman (2020)

Okay I’m honestly not sure why william is in this one bc it’s a comedy-talent scouting series, and as far as I know william has never been a comedian??? unless he’s there bc his smile is the most beautiful thing on this planet in which case yeah

uhhh i couldn’t understand most of what was going on bc this show does not have English subs, but it was cute and looked funny! i think the premise is basically that they get a bunch of young comedians to do their bits in front of professional comedians + william and then they choose the best one at the end. not sure but it looked good! 

the best part was that one of the gags in episode one was that this guy’s bit was that he talked nonsense to the person next to him on a roller coaster that’s going like a billion miles per hour, and so they put william next to this man and william was all like “hell yeah” and then as soon as the ride started he was like “fuck no get me off” and then he spent the rest of the time trying not to die and not listening to this man’s comedy at all

OVERALL RATING: N/A because i didn’t not understand what was happening unfortunately, but it seems like a really fun and cute show, and I would have liked to see it! 

WILLIAM RATING: 6/10. I love seeing william being himself but unfortunately ever since he opened his own merch line “being himself” means he’s just dressed head to toe in his own merch 24/7. Extra points bc i now know that he rides roller coasters the same way I do, i.e. eyes closed and holding breath

L.O.R.D.: Legend of Ravaging Dynasties 2 (2020)

someone please explain to me why this was a better movie than the first one??? like i went into this expecting nothing. nothing. and then i cried. what the fuck. i shouldn't be emotionally affected by this stupid-ass cgi video game movie and yet i was

so the sequel to LORD 1 follows qi ling, again, who is waiting for his bf to come back from abandoning him. said bf does come back and then is like "we gotta go rescue my husband from his Time Prison" and everyone is like ok. meanwhile duke killing and the gang are trying to stop them, as usual, and not doing a very good job. they basically just fight each other all the way to the netherrealm, where duke silver goes to free his husband and qi ling has some gay crises about it.

when i say I cried, I mean it. I did. and only partially because it was sad. the other part was because william is such a THOT. the way this man moves his hips is sinful. it's like he read a wiki-how on motion capture and the only thing he took away from it was "exaggerate your movements" because that is all that he does. I need behind the scenes footage, and also a third movie unfortunately.

OVERALL RATING: surprisingly, like an 8/10. I was invested, even though i wish I hadn't been

WILLIAM RATING: 6/10, because once again, he is a WHORE and i love him. also he had like, love for something other than himself?? i went through a whole range of feelings about duke killing in this one and honestly i don't think that should have been allowed

The YinYang Master (2021)

normally i would watch william movies for william and i admittedly did watch this one for william but it’s so much more than him!! like this is a genuinely good movie and I was not expecting that... well, okay, I was, because I had heard from other people that it was good but i was expecting william’s normal brand of nonsense but this is actually a good movie! I think. it really wasn't my thing but everyone else loves it, and it was a good and fun time!

uhhhh ok granted i don’t really remember like. a good percentage of the plot cause i watched it with other people and we were talking the whole time. ANYWAY i think like YingYang Master BoFa Deez Nuts has a whole like lil creature house? he had a bunch of creatures. and there’s some magic shit. and his house is gonna get destroyed by the other YinYang Masters so he has to fight them. william is an evil deer spirit man thing. also there’s a random ass guy but Bo Ya is hot and his ex-girlfriend is hot. it’s pretty great. 

it’s a good movie! just enough action and stuff to keep you engaged, and it’s a pretty quick one, so you won’t get bored watching. i keep getting plot points of this movie mixed up with the Darren Wang Is A Writer and Manifests Shit one tho, so I’m sorry that this review isn’t better. 

OVERALL RATING: for me, 7/10. It’s not my favorite movie, but a lot of people really like it, and it does look really good. 

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10. He’s a bitch in this one!! but he looks good doing it. also he’s a fucking weirdo. i do like Villain Willain. never seen that before (cause at the time of writing this i have not seen LORD) so that was fun

Dance of the Storm (2021)

ahahahahahaha willy what the FUCK ok honestly the quality of this one isn’t his fault. It’s made by the same people who did Age of Legends, which is probably why it’s like exactly the same but Worse. likkkkkkkeee i liked Age of Legends but you really didn’t have to do it twice. once was enough. 

anyhow william plays a disgraced fbi agent who returns to the force when his late mentor’s murderer shows up. he’s a bitch and a brat and spends all his time getting in trouble bc he won’t listen to anyone, so he goes rogue with the help of his two bffs and does action stuff to solve the mystery. 

the stunts SLAP there’s this one move where william grabs a dude’s wrist, steps around his head, wrenches him to the ground using his thighs, and shoots him. it’s so fucking cool. genuinely one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. UGH. other than that tho it was kinda weird, and the pacing was strange, and william is honestly kind of annoying bc he won’t listen to ANYONE and keeps doing shit on his own. and like it works out for him but only bc he’s the protagonist. anyone else would have died like twelve times. 

OVERALL RATING: 5/10. Honestly not enough to keep me occupied or engaged. 

WILLIAM RATING: 7.5/10. It’s a different character than we usually see from him, and he’s once again on top of his stunt work. very hot. 

Fourtry: Season Two (2021)

once again people have got to stop letting william do reality shows. at this point i think he just surfs job postings for literally anything and is like “fuck yeah i’ll do it” when they need a celebrity host bc all of his variety show roles are so far away from what he actually does? like this is a business entrepreneurship startup show and yeah I GUESS william opened a clothing line but he’s the only one who wears his clothes so like. what does this bitch know about business. 

regardless of all that william is very charming in this one. he’s hanging out! he’s in his element! also he’s very sweet and stupid (there’s one part where everyone is like “we gotta choose the best clothes for our opening!” and he’s just screaming in the background. not even words, he’s just going AH). they do a photoshoot and everyone’s like “wow it’s fo-ye!” and he’s literally just sitting there. iconic. he teaches all of his children the choreography to “Queen,” which if you know willy you know that that is the sluttiest music video on the face of the planet.

also at one point he makes the news for shaving all of his staff’s heads. Badly. 

OVERALL RATING: 4/10 mostly just because business startups do not interest me. 

WILLIAM RATING: ok he’s super charismatic in this one. 8.5/10. how anyone doesn’t fall in love with this man immediately is beyond me.

Novoland: Pearl Eclipse (2021)

Ah! And here we come to the latest and greatest willy drama! Novoland!! I'm still working on this one and will probably watch all of it but for now you get my three-episode required summary.

Novoland: Pearl Eclipse is about a girl named hai shi (we love water pun names) whose village gets wrecked bc a dude is after some pearls. hai shi is adopted by resident badass, fang jianming, who is the emperor's gay love affair and personal punching bag. he raises her as his disciple and they have a very fun shidi/shifu relationship :/ meanwhile fang jianming is getting his ass kicked 24/7 because he put a spell on himself to take all the damage while the emperor (who is a bitch) gets away scot free. also huang junjie is there!!!!

from the first few episodes, I love everything about this show EXCEPT the shifu/shidi thing. doesn't do it for me. Maybe I'll learn to accept it in the end but i'm pretty sure hai shi and william are just going to be dramatic af about it and won't learn anything valuable by the end. truly fang jianming should just go date the emperor and maybe a lot of problems would be solved

OVERALL RATING: 7/10. Good action, seemingly good plot, it's just the romance that really throws me off.

WILLIAM RATING: 9/10, if you've seen my ghost smile post you know that this man is dialing it up to an eleven for this one. his hair is stupid tho.

Faces in the Crowd (2023)

Williams back, and he’s having a myriad of queer-coded relationships with men!!! If u liked seeing Zhu Yilong get his shit rocked by a zaddy with a gun, you’ll love seeing William get his shit rocked by a zaddy with a gun, cause that’s basically all this movie is.

Faces in the Crowd is about a lil guy named Jiadong who is in the Chinese army and is hunting some communists bc that’s what they do in these movies. He teams up with his old zaddy who was a communist and then decided to have money instead, and they work on tracking down a communist who looks shockingly like bai yu. William runs round and shoots a gun (except he’s. Shockingly bad at it) and learns about communism

What I don’t get is why they keep having william do rom coms bc every time he’s in a rom com I forget he can actually act sometimes. Anyway he’s stupid in this like most of his other shows, but I really enjoyed watching it!! Definitely the best out of his three 2023 projects

TW: there is a sexual assault scene; nothing super graphic, but be aware!

OVERALL RATING: 9/10 there wasn’t really anything super new or original here. Also the final fight was ???? William outran a machine gun and then got set on fire but he lived

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10 he’s JUST about to get to the point where he’s a little too old to keep playing characters in their 20s, so I don’t quite buy the naivety thing from him anymore and he kinda hams it up with that one in this. Otherwise he’s fantastic, lots of action and running around and making men fall in love with him by using his cow eyes and pretty smile

Bursting Point (2023)

Literally Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ William what the fuck. What the actual fuck.

Y'all know me, I love a drug cartel-action heist-undercover agent shebang as much as the next girl but HOLY SHIT. This is a particularly good genre for William and he likes to do them, so there have been a few but this one. Crossed a lot of lines. And I'm not really surprised it hasn't been allowed on any streaming services.

The plot is that William is a cop but no one at his job likes him, so he gets blackmailed into going undercover in a drug cartel. William's really good at going undercover in a drug cartel. He is a little too good at going undercover in a drug cartel, which leads to a falling out between him as his boss who he is in gay love with. You can kinda get the gist.

What you can't get the gist of are the trigger warnings that should be on this movie! So, I highly do not recommend this film if you are triggered or made uncomfortable by any of the following: extreme violence, blood and injury, major character death, extreme violence against children, sexual assault, drug use, drug overdosing, police brutality, and William's superhumangift tattoo being on full display the whole time (seriously though, this movie shows a lot of shit so definitely go into it with that in mind; I can always answer any specific questions if u have them!).

OVERALL RATING: 8/10 like it was really well-plotted and it was very well executed in terms of acting and script but it was. A Lot.

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10 where did this boy learn how to act???? cause he's acting in this. Minus 2 because his ass is way too good at acting a little stupid and a little gay and making old men fall in love with him.

A Date With The Future (2023)

This show is fucking stupid oh my gosh. So so stupid. There are some great bits, like william being in a very homosexual relationship and also aroace coded, and he’s cute with a dog, but everything else was BAD

plot is that a girl named Xu Lai gets trapped in a building during an earthquake and william saves her so she falls in love with him and then harasses him at his workplace. William is like “I am not interested in dating never have been never will be” but then she has a dog and he really likes dogs so I guess they’re gonna fall in love?? It’s ridiculous all of it. Xu Lai is also sooooooo fucking annoying like girl stop stalking him!!!!!

But huge fan of william being aroace! Also for some reason they kept having the firefighters do sexy rain scenes??? And made them do like three stupid little dances and william looks like he’s the only one having any fun

Overall Rating: 4/10. It’s just really not good or interesting!!!!! williams a goofy goober tho so that’s fun

William Rating: 5/10 he’s cute and stupid but he could have done something way better than this. Literally anything

[itsybitsybiderman]

running from fate+fate finding you anyways ft.Merwaine

Saw this post and had ideas but ran out of tag space

S1, Killy speaks to Merlin he Nopes out of there.

Merlin walking right back to Ealdor.

 But you can't fight fate, and on his way he runs into a rogue wanderer with gorgeous hair and a bright laugh.

 Gwaine accompanies him back to Ealdor.

 They fought bandits with magic swords on the way, and Gwaine mentioned sorcery in a negative tone. 

Merlin wilted but Gwaine didn't notice, he was too busy trying to impress merlin with the sword flip thing he does, accompanied with his hair flip. 

When merlin arrives in Ealdor, Will is thrilled and so is Hunith but also Hunith is concerned bc what?? happened???

Merlin explains everything to Hunith as Will gives Gwaine the shovel talk.

 When Gwaine eventually packs up to leave after an incident involving a goose, a felled apple tree, and a pair of underpants (an incident that gets him kicked out by the village leader) he returns in s3e4 fashion to help the fight against cenred's men

Merlin thinks travelling with Gwaine and helping people doesn't seem like a bad idea

Hunith sees the decision in Merlin's face before Merlin himself does.

Will pulls his soulmate since childhood down and rubs his knuckles in his hair while Hunith silently packs some bread and cheese, a single tear falling because her boy is leaving yes, but he’s also in love and isn’t that wonderful? 

Merlin asks Will to come but Will says he has duties as 'prince william of ealdor' but he softens and says eventually. when the time is right

in their travels they run into a handsome but sad swordsman, a man who could never be a knight of camelot for he wasn't nobility. 

merlin gasps and gwaine sighs. they were always ready to fuck with the elite anyways

the identity theft thing happens except lance doesn’t get caught ‘cause. he's pretending to be gwaine. who is nobility. and its not like anyone KNOWS who gwaine is

on their way to camelot gwaine promises to fight arthur and merlin mournfully says as a knight of camelot lance would have to defend arthur and merlin cant fight his FRIENDS.

they are having this conversation when they are attacked by a griffin.

they barely make it to camelot, and it is while merlin is being treated by gaius for the cut he got, all while valiantly ignoring killy's calls, gaius presses a book in his hands- the enchanted lance happens, lance knows, and Lance accepts him.

 when Merwaine leave there is a steady flow of correspondence between merlin/gaius and merlin/lance

this is how merlin knows when the dragon escapes (killy switched tactics and spoke to morgana) and gaius writes to merlin and says ‘hey ur dad is alive lol’ 

merwaine finding balinor who dies and merlin cries and gwaine realizes oh. this was his father. and theres pain cause he realizes merlin never told him because gwaine was never quiet about being anti-magic

on their way back to camelot they run into a badass blacksmith 

turns out he’s going to camelot too, his sister and father are under seige by a dragon after all. 

when merlin defeats the dragon, the knights were knocked out and so everyone thinks Elyan is the dragonlord

gwen rolls her eyes fondly as arthur asks her if she’s a dragon lady. 

just. merlin running from fate. and fate finding him anyways

I firmly believe the only reason Merlin didn’t turn around and walk away when that is such a Merlin thing to do was plot purposes. Had Merlin left Arthur would have been dead a hundred times over

[hearts401]

i also am super fhfhdfds about this /pos it was fun so im gonna drop a little explainy thing for anyone confused

under cut, you know me <333

firstly, white is neutral. white is just... a person. it is good and neutral.

red means u suck

blue means ur sad

purple is specifically for william

now that htats out of the way:

frankly michael being red with the foxy mask on isnt supposed to be him seeing himself as a terrible person, more the person he is with the mask on.

gregory turns red after the party because hes now agaisnt michael and michael argues with him a lot. however he feels bad about what happened to evan, so evan does not. he stays blue :(

in the whole post-party sequence, he feels a lot of things about himself. hes upset, hes probably angry at william, but also feels like shit because he did exactly what william had asked. hes no better than his father atp, right?so theres red, white, blue, purple, all of em together.

eventually, it goes back to neutral, he goes back to being mihcael, until gregory reveals that evan wouldve died int eh original timeline. so yeah, he feels shitty about that. but also, he wouldve killed his brother, just like william killed charlie and the other kids.

also also fredbear is red in that sequence when hed previously been white <333

and when gregory steps up his hate for him kinda goes down? like idk how to explain my thought process i just needed a chance to shove in gregory going from red to white (but some of the red bleeds onto michael hehehehehheheee)

ofc his blaming himself and shit eventually lessens (hes michael, after all) and its not like its gone but hes certainly calmed down about it i think so the purple goes away but gregory is now blue bc the poor kid is goin thru it

ALSO I MEANT TO MAKE MICHAEL TURN BLUE WHEN GREGORY TURNED HIM DOWN BUT THAT FELT TOO DIRECT??? like sadness isnt equal to discomfort and i already felt like the animatic had a lot of blaming greg in it which isnt what i wanted? so i scrapped that idea

and the end is that scene of him calming evan down a bit when gregory is telling them about cassidy and everything. i think about that scene a lot. it changed my life actually.

also he gets to be blue there too because geez they all need a break <333

another tttb animatic? no way??

ofc its michael centered i just think hes fun ok???

rlly wanted to mess with how michael sees hte ppl around him so erm color symbolism!!

anyway go read The Time Travelers Bear by @puhpandas

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 22 - Sci Fi

New part is here! Just a few more in this world. Just realized that it's been about 1 year since I've started this story. Wow.

Masterpost linked here.

Enjoy!

____________________________

The school was greatly relieved to hear that I had made a Connection and was no longer a danger to myself and others. They immediately rescinded my suspension and "encouraged" me to resume training with my new partner as soon as possible. I found the quick 180 amusing, but didn't argue.

It took multiple video calls with Alaira’s father to reassure him that everything was okay, and a few more to prevent him from throwing a parade for Liam to thank him for matching his daughter. His tears of joy at the news was a complicated moment for me.

I had felt a deep sense of joy, but it was an emotion that didn’t belong to me... it belonged to Alaira. Watching him celebrate his daughter’s recovery felt hypocritical, knowing that in the world that I hadn’t taken over, his daughter hadn’t had a good end. She had died alone and afraid, her mind fragmented.

But there was no way to tell him that.

The mission completion status on my communication device had risen quickly from 1% to 42%. Liam and I spent every waking moment together, talking, joking, and learning about each other. We practiced making the connection with the Mech, powering and controlling it now a smooth, painless process. It was natural, coming as easily to me as breathing. Working with him felt less like learning with a new partner as gaining back a missing part of me.

I was happy.

But not everyone was glad to hear we had matched.

Shortly after our match was made public, Liam and I were walking down the hallway after class, and were forced to stop by a young, angry woman blocking our path.

“It’s a lie!” Princess Ilene glared at Liam as she faced us down. “William can’t be a real Connector! He’s always been just a useless waste. He's a stain on the royal family!”

Liam seemed unfazed by his sister’s cruel words, as if he were used to it. The lack of reaction and the implications behind it made me even angrier. I stepped forward, hiding him partly behind me, and smiled pleasantly. My expression and pleasant tone obviously confused the princess, who took a step back.

“Ilene, Ilene, there’s just so much wrong with what you said… I don’t even know where to begin!” I shrugged. “ But, correcting idiocy IS my calling in life, so let me give it a shot:”

Ilene’s face was red with rage, but I ignored her incoherent sputtering, holding up a finger.

“First, Liam is capable of making the connection. He just had a strong barrier. Obviously it isn't impossible, or he and I wouldn’t be matched. “ I held up a second finger. “Secondly, and more importantly: even if he COULDN’T make the connection, he still wouldn’t be useless. He’s a kind, wonderful person, and that’s more than you can say about most Guardians or Connectors… present company included.”

“ How dare…” Princess Ilene took a step back. “What are you trying to say?”

I blinked, shocked “Oh, was I not being obvious enough? I don’t like you. I think Liam is a much better human being than you, and find it pitiful that you try to derive your self worth from putting him down.”

Liam stepped forward, grabbing my hand. “It’s ok…”

“No, its not. You don’t deserve for people to call you trash.” I felt emotional, as if something deep inside me was trying to break free.

“It’s always been like this.” He shrugged, “I’m used to being alone.”

____________________________

“Friends, family?”

The man in front of me was smiling at my question, but the expression was so sad it made me want to cry.

“None.” He twisted his hands in his lap, looking away. “I’m supposed to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Supposedly that’s my fate.”

____________________________

“You are not trash.” I tightened my grip on Liam’s hand. “ and you’re not alone anymore.”

“I know.” He smiled, “Thanks.”

Princess Ilene spoke up, obviously tired of being ignored. “How dare you trample on Chris’s kindness and reject him for this tr…” She started to say the word “trash” but seeing my face, nervously trailed off and started again. “You don’t even know if you two have a high enough resonance match to ward off your mental degradation…!”

“We do. It’s gone.”

She paused, thrown by my matter of fact tone. “… But what if you’re a higher match with Chris…”

“Don’t care. I hate him.”

“… But…”

“You do bring up a good point, though.” I turned to Liam. “We should see what our resonance match rate is.”

He looked nervous. “What if it isn’t very high?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re already partners. I’m just curious.” I grinned. “Plus, I’m pretty sure it’s really high, and I’d love to use that to shut people up.”

He chuckled at that. “If it means that much to you to rub it into people’s faces...”

“It does.”

We walked towards the match center, leaving Princess Ilene stunned into silence behind.

____________________________

Liam got more anxious the closer we got to the match center. “You promise you won’t break our partnership if our match score is low?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” I didn’t feel insulted at his questioning. I could feel his insecurity, the need for me to say out loud what he thought he knew. “Low or high, we’re partners. You’re stuck with me.”

“Good.” He sighed, grinning. “I like being stuck with you.”

Finally, we were facing the machine that had failed us both so many times. Irrationally, I felt a little nervous, the many prior failures of the past few weeks too fresh and painful to completely forget.

Liam stepped away from me, reaching out and placed his hands on the panel first.

“Unrecognized tester. Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.”

I rubbed my forehead tiredly as the robotic rejection echoed loudly around the room; “I forgot your barrier is still around since it doesn’t effect me anymore.”

“Honestly, I had forgotten too.” He responded with a happy smile.

A crowd was starting to gather, curious at our actions. As more and more people realized what we were doing, I began hearing the whispering between them.

“Didn’t she go crazy?”

“...thought she couldn’t match?”

“He has a barrier? ...never could match.”

“I heard they already formed a connection.”

“Heard her dad is a general, spread the rumor of her matching so she wouldn’t get kicked out.”

“Isn’t she matched up with Chris?”

“Why are they here?”

I grabbed Liam’s hand again, feeling relieved when I felt his warm skin against my own. “Don’t listen to them.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” He stared straight at me, ignoring the hostile words and gazes of the crowd. “You’re beside me, and that’s all that matters.”

I squeezed his hand in my own. A strong desire welled up within me to be worthy of the trust he gave me. I wanted to show everyone what Liam could do, the bond we had... but of course it couldn't be too easy.

“We just have to figure out how to get your barrier down enough for the machine to read you." I glanced down at my hand that was still holding his. "I mean, I’m touching you now, right? There’s no barrier between us?”

He stared down at our clasped hands, his cheeks tinged pink. “Yes, I feel you. I mean, no, there’s no barrier.”

“Good!" I gestured to the pad with my free hand. "Then why don't you try again while we're still touching each other?”

He placed his hand back on the machine.

“Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.” The machine's voice repeated itself calmly.

His hand fell away, frustrated. I could feel his anxiety, and worried deep down that I had made a wrong choice. I did this to reassure him that we are a good match. To shut up everyone saying that it's a made up story to justify the removal of my suspension. To prove to everyone that Liam isn't useless, even by their own stupid standards.

But none of this will happen if he can't use the machine.

I thought it over, and grinned as I came up with a plan. “Hmm… Well, there’s one other thing we can try…”

I leaned in and kissed him, grabbing his free hand with my own and placing it on the pad together. His breath caught in his chest and he froze in shock very briefly before kissing back. In that moment I almost forgot why I had kissed him in the first place, but the robotic voice quickly reminded me.

“Resonance match detected…. Scanning…. Resonance Frequency Match...100%.”

The voice had barely faded before there were shouts of shock from the crowd. The room descended into chaos at the announcement. I broke away from Liam, who was still distracted, and stared at him.

“Did that machine just say… we are a 100 PERCENT match? I didn’t even think that was possible!”

Liam blinked. “I’m sorry, I dinwhat did you say?”

“We’re a perfect match, Liam.” I laughed. “I knew this was a great idea!”

Definitely didn't completely doubt the plan halfway through... yep.

“So… no one can separate us then?” His body relaxed, and he reached out, pulling me against himself and hugging me tightly. I felt the trembling of his muscles and knew that the anxiety he had shown was only the tip of the iceberg. His true fears and insecurities were still well hidden, even from me.

I hugged him back, waiting for him to back away. The crowd’s murmuring were now a loud roar, as everyone discussed a match rate that most thought impossible to achieve. And there, in the back of the crowd, I saw a solitary figure standing there, watching us with a blank stare.

Chris.

I shuddered, holding Liam tighter. The first thing I had done when Liam and I announced our match was to report to the authorities Chris holding me in his room. I suspected him of drugging me as well, remembering the prick of the needle before falling unconscious.

I was laughed at.

“Why would a student with a crystal clear reputation go out of his way to kidnap a general’s daughter? He already had a match, a better one than his resonance with you if I recall. If anyone had motive to kidnap someone, it would be you to him!”

The words were cutting, made worse by the pity on their faces.

“It’s obvious: your mind was breaking down due to the strain without a Connector, and came up with this fantastical plot of being kidnapped.”

And despite my objections, the claim was dropped. I hadn’t seen Chris since the day we parted in his room.

Until now.

His gaze held mine. He was expressionless, watching us with a detached, almost clinical air. I would have almost thought he was bored, or at least uncaring about the situation in front of him… if not for his eyes…

His eyes were burning with rage.

I looked away first feeling an odd sense of familiarity, as if something similar had happened before.

____________________________

A few days later Liam and I had our first mock battle. Suspended together in the Connection chamber within the Mech, the constant physical and mental connection with Liam made operating the Mech much easier than it ever had been alone.

I fought with a sword, having abandoned the dual guns completely. I breathed a sigh of relief at the speed I could move at as I ducked under the enemy Mech’s attack. Turning with the spin of my dodge, I used the momentum and I swung around to slash the torso of our opponent with the sword.

“Nice hit!” Liam’s voice in my headset was excited. He was cheering me on along the way, spurring me to show off with more complex moves when possible, hoping to impress him.

I pressed the attack, slamming the Mech with the shoulder of ours, and kicking it to the ground before it could recover its balance. The movements were smooth, and my head was clear of any pain. The prior drain and discomfort of controlling the giant robot was completely gone.

As our opponent fell to the ground, I pressed the tip of the sword into the Mech’s neck. The referee called out our victory, and the crowd around the arena cheered, but it was just noise to me. All that mattered was Liam’s excited babbling in my ear.

“That was awesome! I’ve always wondered what it felt like to win a Mech fight, and it’s so much cooler than I ever imagined! This is great! When can we fight again?”

“Glad you had fun, Liam.” I laughed at the innocent delight in his voice. After the stress and pain I had experienced since waking up in this world, the uncertainty of who I was and why I was here, there was something simple and healing about being by Liam’s side.

I feel happy.

I was nervous about admitting it, even to myself, as if the simple acknowledgement of the positive emotion would be enough to destroy it. But I couldn’t deny it. I WAS happy.

After we had undocked and changed, Liam and I relaxed in the fighter’s lounge. Liam as always, had a container that he pulled out of a bag, opening it to reveal a slice of cake. I took it from him with a murmur of thanks, and after the first bite sighed with joy.

“I've been meaning to ask you: Where do you get this cake? It's obviously not from the school shop, it’s way too good!”

Liam smiled at the question. “I made it myself.” Usually more quiet and shy, he seemed very confident when it came to matters such as food. The change in his attitude was something I loved to see.

“Really? You made it? This is too delicious… if only I could have this all the time.” I took another bite, savoring it. As I swallowed, I looked up at him and joked. "Yep, I think the only solution would be for me to just marry you.”

“…” There was a strange silence in the room. I ate some more cake, unconcerned at first, but as the awkward stillness stretched on I paused in my actions, turning towards Liam again with a questioning look.

His face was bright red, and he stared at me with a look of shock and joy.

“Liam?”

He nodded, and blushing more, pulled out his communication device, dialing a number.

“Who are you calling…?”

Alaira’s father, General Gladus showed up on the holographic projection from his device. He stared at Liam, confused for a moment, before barking out with a frown. “Who is this?”

Liam sat up straight, staring at the man with a solemn expression. “General Gladus, my name is William. I am the third born of the Royal family, and a first year student at the academy, and a Level S Connector.”

General Gladus grinned. “I know who you are, son. You’re the wonderful young man who matched with my daughter. I’ve been wanting to talk with you and thank you…”

“Your daughter has asked me to marry her and I have agreed.”

“What?”

“What?”

My father and I asked in unison.

“I was very happy to receive your daughter’s offer of marriage. I will do my very best to support her in all her endeavors.”

“She proposed?”

I silently mouthed an echoing question as my father burst out loudly. “I proposed?”

Liam nodded. “I wanted to let you know so that you could arrange for military leave and be present for our wedding. I know the paperwork can take weeks to months. ”

“…” General Gladus looked stunned. Slowly, his hologram turned towed me. “Alaira, is this true?”

"Yeah, military leave paperwork is notoriously slow..."

He interrupted. "No I mean about the engagement!"

I glanced over at Liam’s excited face.

____________________________

“I don’t believe it’s real.” He whispered, staring down at our hands that were clasped together. “I thought that I was always going to be alone. I thought my fate… my role… ”

I fiddled with the silver band in my hand, trying it on his finger. “Screw fate. We’re getting married now.”

“Yeah.” He grinned, the smile lighting up his face, making the whole room brighter. “Screw fate. I’m your husband!”

____________________________

I shrugged. “What can I say? We’re a destined couple.” I briefly explained about our 100% resonance match.

“… Did you say 100% match?” At my nod, General Gladus opened up his arms. “Welcome to family! When's the wedding?”

After a few more minutes of discussion, Liam hung up, still looking happy.

“Should we notify your parents?”

His face froze. When his gaze finally rose to met mine I shrunk back from the dull look I saw there.

“No reason to.” He reached out, tucking back my hair. “A family without love is just blood related acquaintances. You’re my real family, wife.”

I hugged him again. “That’s right. I’m your family.” I hadn’t really meant to propose… it was just a joke. But the second he called me wife, my heart had felt a sense of recognition. It was happy, but also hurt, a deep remembered pain. A panicked feeling rose up within me, as fear, despair and sadness came in waves, before leaving quickly, overwhelming me without warning or reason. I desperately wanted to remember something, to tear open the fog clouding my brain and peer at what was hidden behind it. But I couldn't.

You must accept your fate. A metallic voice rang in my head, cold, dispassionate, filled with undeniable.

“No.” I whispered, tears filling my eyes even if I wasn’t sure why they were there.

Liam noticed my distress. “Alaira?”

“I'm fine." I think we should go back to practice.” I pulled him to his feet. “We’ll talk more about this later.”

“You’re right, let’s continue working hard so we can save the world like you wanted. But on our next break, we have a wedding to plan!” For the first time, Liam was more excited than me to get to practice. He grabbed my hand and raced forward.

____________________________

Later that night, I went back to my dorm room, still thinking over my last conversation with Liam. He was energetically talking about wedding plans, making lists and drawings with the hologram on his communicator, storing them in special file with my name on it.

When I asked him why he was so excited, he paused, staring down at his hands. “Have you ever felt a desire that was so strong, it seemed to be beyond anything you’ve experienced before?” He glanced up. “I feel this, Alaira. Deep in my soul. I want to be by your side. I want to marry you, but even if you didn’t want that, I’d be your minion or your sidekick. Being by you… helping you… it’s such an integral part of myself, I couldn’t separate from it if I tried.”

“Liam…”

“I think I believe in reincarnation and soul mates.” He smiled. “I’m so happy right now that I think this has to be a hallucination, it can’t be real.”

“I don’t believe it’s real.” I felt the memory of the young man’s whisper in my head again, and pushing it back, I leaned forward to kiss Liam gently.

“It’s real.”

Now alone in my room, I couldn’t help but feel bewildered by the connection with Liam, the emotions and memories that accompanied every moment with him.

“Who am I?” I leaned against the wall and whispered to myself.

“That is the question isn’t it?”

At the unexpected answer I straightened up, falling into a defensive stance. Recognizing the intruder did not make relax, however. If anything it made me more tense.

“Chris. What are you doing here?” I kept my voice calm, trying to hide my inner tension.

“I’m getting tired, Bel.” He sat down on my bed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m just… so tired of all this.”

“What did you call me?” The name resonated with me, much more than “Alaira” ever had.

He ignored me. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to give up right away. It promised me…”

The room fell into silence. I stood as still as a statue, barely daring to breathe. I was desperate to hear more, terrified to let him continue speaking. Chris’s voice was different, his tone filled with years of regret. His eyes when they stared at me, seemed to look right through me, as if seeing through my skin to something deeper and more profound.

“Why can’t you just accept your fate, Bel?” He sighed, the sound seeming to drag on too long. “Everything depends on it.”

“What do you…?”

“The lower realms you treasure… the friends you’ve made… even…” He hesitated. “Even his existence depends on everyone having their role and playing their part.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Chris.”

“MY NAME ISN’T CHRIS!” He yelled, the sound startling in the otherwise silent room. “Just like yours isn’t Alaira. Just like his… it wasn’t supposed to be…”

“Liam?”

”THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HIS NAME!” Chris, or whoever he was, stood up, his face red with rage. “He corrupted it! He refused his role, and ended up tricking you to do the same.” He stepped closer. “Why do you always force me to be the one who has to carry the weight of the realms on my shoulders? Why does he get to be the only one who is happy? I don’t want to play these games anymore, Bel.”

“I’m not playing games!” I shouted back, frustrated. “I don’t remember anything!”

“And you won’t. Not until it’s over. But it will be soon. Because I’m going to end it.” He walked towards the door, preparing to leave, only stopping when I grabbed his arm.

“No. You aren’t leaving until you explain what you meant.”

His eyes lit up briefly at our contact, and I pulled my hand away quickly. “You made a bet, Bel, and these are rules you can’t escape. All it takes is one failed mission. One failure before you can finish the task of piecing together your soul.”

“Piecing together…?” His words struck a chord within me, but I shook my head. “I may not understand anything going on, but I’ll tell you this: I won’t fail my mission.”

The light is his eyes dimmed. “You started this. Just remember that, when you regret everything. You. Started. This.”

He left through room, slamming the door behind him. I stood in place, staring blankly, my mind racing.

Realms, real names, missions and bets… I don’t understand any of it.

But I knew one thing, as certainly as if it were imprinted on my soul.

I would not accept my fate.

Even if I couldn’t remember what that fate was.

Even if I had to destroy fate itself to escape it.

[jackiequick]

Amelia Hood loving backstory

Amelia “Mia” Hood. A woman of many talents and talks. The path she has taken has always fallen between light and dark. Having her heartbroken plenty of times and having her heart soaring like she’s on top of the world.

The girl is no stranger to love having her heart flying like she’s on top of the world. Skilled from a certain age with a bow and arrow, sweet, humorous, charming, caring and clever.

Going to Wonderland was something that she thought would be a mistake but it head to an love story she would never forget. Meeting the man who was fated to be her husband, William Scarlet. Who was separated from her brother Robin when they were children and landed in Wonderland.

The young maiden travel the land, even landing herself in the same place twice while other times getting trapped. The girl over the years have learned to become skilled in a sword and archery, even stealing a few things along the way. For example the hat she stole from the Mad Hatter back in the day.

She never held back from stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, saving people from their sadness hours. Caring, kind and mostly loyal. Their family swear by it. Which her to meeting Princess Rochelle, with her and her husband talking the young girl under their wing, treating her like their own until she found the girl’s parents. Then meeting the hateful Evil Queen, it was a tricky and risky situation, spending years of fighting against the queen’s evil raw talent. In result, it causes her pain and lost. Losing her husband to the evil queen’s hand watching him die right in front of her fearing she might next, she ran to survive.

Leaving the Enchanted Forest and once again, landing Wonderland to meet up with Queen Stella to release her lost and pain, being the woman’s right hand one was a deal made that she’s forgot. Yes Queen Stella disliked her, she adored the woman’s bravery and strength to go though it knowing it hard it must have been for her..the least she can do is remove the pain from losing a loved one. She was the queen of hearts but she wasn’t totally heartless. So the deal was done, living her days in Wonderland in a good room and catching anyone who did wrong there.

It’s where she met Hannah, who was a girl who entered Wonderland by accident protecting her and making a deal for she can stay. In result, the two of them became friends having tea parties, going adventures and much more. Finding this light once again by saving people and feeling free. But then again, it was Wonderland at its finest moments..with time, that place became harsher.

Some time later, she left Wonderland and returning back to the Enchanted Forest to her brother Robin. One may thing, William was the only love in her life, the young charming lady met Nick Wild who was a servant to the queen of hearts then the evil queen, a few pirates, Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk and even messed around with a former horsemen named Quinton Beck. Breaking a few hearts and loving a few were part of life right?

All of them had loving and adoring, ideals and value. Amelia learned from all of them smiles, skills and laughs. Robin even interrogated every single of them, before trying anything with his. The one that could’ve stayed with her but didn’t was Beck. The two bonded the day they met during a cold winter, as she was hiding and found shelter in his barn that kept horses and chickens. She made a deal with to stay for the winter until she get back on her feet. He kindly agree figuring out who she was and knowing she won’t steal from him. The two walked into his home as they talked. Beck noticed the wedding band on her finger figuring she was married then Amelia mentioned that her husband died. Beck nodded in understanding, since his wife left him saying that he was a coward and unwilling. Amelia assured him that he wasn’t neither of those things and Beck assured her that life means different things to a lot of people.

The two of them bonded, laughed cooked and shared stories even taking in about their skills and past relationships. “Wait I knew a Jacqueline, well she went as Jack..I dated her, you did too?” Beck asked mid laughed.

She nodded laughing, “It was one adventurous time..I kissed her and we were drunk.”

The night as the snow fell, Amelia was wondering around the home reading old book and listening to humming sounds from outside as Beck returns from cutting up logs for the fireplace. He wrapped his arms around her neck kissed her cheek, “You seem to reading something interesting.”

“Yes I am..it’s notebooks and books from your time as a horsemen. Working in the stables and everything.. I still don’t understand why you gave it up?” She asked warmly looking at him.

“You know why, I never tended on staying there for long. I wanted to normal simple life soon as I can get one. But hey, I never said I wouldn’t get back on the horse.”

“Then get back on that horse. Your skilled with a sword, you taught me to use me..you can work strongly and become the man who you dream to be..I understand this is your dream and I know that you would love to do it again.”

“And your right..I would. When the time is right I will..but for now, we gotta focus on surviving this cold winter. And then I can escort you back home.”

She stayed quiet and nodded understanding what he meant. Beck kneeled in front of her, taking her hands, “I’ve met and dated a lot of people in my life..they taught me love, faith, courage and you are teaching me hope..weather you see it or not.”

“And surprisingly your teaching me comparison in my work..I hope that we both the things we wants in love. I know we will.” She replied, gently cupping his cheek and kissed his lips as he returned the smooth tender kiss.

Month past as spring came, Beck and Amelia kept their promises to keep each other company and take care of one another. Soon enough, Beck escorted her back her home where he met Robin who interrogated him quickly then soon enough after realizing what kindest he shown, he offered a place with the merry men but he refused the kind offer. The pair parted ways hoping to see each other soon and agreed to do better. It was a sweet but slightly sad departure.

Within the years, Amelia grew stronger with her skills as an archer, humorous with her attitude and became the kind woman she was meant to be. Traveling the land, saving people with every turn, bringing people hope into their homes. If she was given the chance, after saving a family or when the holidays came around Amelia would gift every child a toy or sweets as an act of kindness. The children adored her everytime she did it, even gathering the families to sing songs as they all shared a feast. 

Her brother charmed and humor the idea every time she did it, eventually joining along with the merry men with the tunes. His wife, Marion and their son Roland overjoyed with happiness every time she did. Speaking of Roland, the little boy couldn’t be more happier to have an aunt like Amelia. Strolling through the village on Sundays, stories read to him every night before bed if his parents can’t do it, dancing around the fire with his aunt and most of all hugs and kisses.

She grew up in time as her heart grew along with her. Amelia always willing to look for courage, love and appreciate the idea of adventure. The question is, who will be by her nice for her next adventure in life? We will have to wait and find out.

So what did you think? Did you like it? I might post the first meeting between her and other characters in her part, who knows.

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @mandylove1000 @eagerforthesky @msrochelleromanofffelton @gcthvile @yesterdaywastuesdaytoo @blueboirick @i-have-too-many-oc-s @nyxphie @meirafireshield @rooster-84 @charlesxavier24rpblog and much more.

[erismerald]

𝓜𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼 (Norman x Fem!reader)

Go read the all book on my wattpad!!! And btw im requests were gonna be always one from now, so if u are a weebe send me ur request please!!

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼:  Fluff and a bit hot oop/ manga spoilers/          

                      ━━━━━━ ━━━━━━◇◆◇━━━━━━ ━━━━━━

A year and 11 months ago you and the rest of the children of Grace field had run away in search of a way to escape to the human world, during this time you were hiding in a hiding place where you had the opportunity to meet a lot of other children with the same interest as you, and your family only grew and you could see the happiness on their faces.

Emma was your best friend since you were kids, you, she, Ray and Norman, were about two years and a few months younger than them and they were like older brothers to you, besides taking care of you were your best friends but... Unfortunately the affection and love you felt for Norman was different, a few years ago you had feelings for him but you preferred to hide it because you knew it wasn't right and that he liked Emma so you preferred to retract your feelings for him and you preferred to see his happiness next to Emma which was a better choice.

In the last months you lived on a farm, you felt you could lose them at any moment and the moment you knew Norman had been "ordered" you felt your heart break, the tears in your eyes didn't stop, you didn't want him to leave, you didn't want to lose him, you preferred to be taken away than him.

The night they parted was hard, it was the night you finally revealed your feelings for him.

*flash back*

You walked down the hallway slowly, your legs were shaking a lot, your breathing was accelerated and your chest hurt. You stopped in front of the door of the room where Norman was, took your hand and went lightly to the door, waiting for an answer from the other side.

"You can come in!" he said on the other side of the door, you took another deep breath and thought about what you would say to him... I had to admit that you loved him before you lost him forever.

"Excuse me! Norman... can we talk?" you said facing the ground, you could already feel the tears running down your face, Norman realized and tried to get closer to comfort you but you stopped him "No! I can't face you... it may sound stupid but not even at the last moment that I'll be with you I can't face you" you said laughing nervously

"Y/N... I will miss you, I.... only want you to run away and that my death is not in vain, neither can I face you... Nor Emma-" you interrupted him, embracing his body with strength

"I CAN'T FACE YOU BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO LOSE THE PERSON I LOVE MOST IN MY LIFE.... I LOVE YOU NORMAN ... I wanted you to know this before you leave... I know you love Emma but this is my last chance to talk to you and tell you things with sincerity!" you said letting the tears fall.

"Y-Y/n... I'm sorry I can't be with you... I'm sorry you had to hide your feelings for so long... I really am sorry, I really love Emma, and I love you and Ray and everyone here, but I have to use my life to get you the chance to run away from here"

Silence was installed... you only felt his body embracing yours, caressing your back, until the moment you saw the person you most loved leaving in the midst of darkness.

Your body moved on its own, you ran to the forest not to run but to be alone, my body was freezing, your voice was so deep from screaming, among hiccups you shouted his name for him to hear you, until your body finally fell from exhaustion.

*end of flashback*

Emma walked ahead, together with Ray trying to find a new way and a safe place after the destruction of the shelter, you were worried about christ who hadn't woken up yet, and his health seemed weak and fragile, you feared the worst, but you had to be positive, you walked a little faster to reach your two best friends.

"So we know where we are going?" you asked Ray 

"We're not just going to follow the tracks again.... maybe we'll go towards one of the 7 walls, we have to try our luck" Emma responded positively until she stopped abruptly, heard if screams someone was being attacked, without delay you three ran towards the voices in aid.

When we ran into the scene of two teenagers surrounded by wild demons, we had to help them, so we prayed in arms and without delay, we killed those horrible monsters.

The children looked terrified but... what would two children be in the middle of the forest? where would they have come from?

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR Saving Us, WE THINKED WE WILL DIE" one of them shouted, causing Ray a little discomfort because he didn't want to call attention to more enemies.

"Yes, yes, but please keep your voices down, we don't want to bring attention to ourselves!" Ray said

The light-haired boy examined us and in a flash his eyes looked like they were shining:

" IT'S YOU!YOU ARE THE CATTLE KIDS WHO ESCAPE FROM GRACE FILED, WE COME TO FIND YOU, BY COMMAND OF OUR BOSS" he said smiling, Emma and you exchanged glances, 'looking for us?' you thought while you waited for Emma to answer if

"Ahm who is your boss?" Emma asked with fear? could they really trust them?

"WILLIAM MINERVA" your world stopped a smile brutalized in your lips we had finally found it! You had finally found the person who would help you return to the human world.

A few hours passed and those two took you to a hiding place inside a tree, it was an incredible place, there were lots of children there. 'so William minerva always exists' you thought while you were enjoying the environment it was really wonderful, you could feel the joy of the children being there, your family would finally have a place to live in peace.

"The boss wants to see you then come this way," one of the boys said, showing us the way.

We got to a door that would probably lead to an office, you were nervous, you felt your tummy turning, as if you were about to vomit from excitement, the door was knocked and inside there was a male voice "Come in".

The door opened revealing a white-haired figure, his crystalline blue eyes, and his sweet smile... you felt the tears flowing down your face, you couldn't believe you were standing in front of him, how? why? how did he get here? so many questions invaded your head leaving you paralyzed in front of that door.

Emma ran towards the figure in front of us "NORMAN!!" his voice showed relief and nostalgia, they both embraced "Hi Emma" Norman said in a sweet voice, it was like living a dream, Ray approached Norman, but his reaction was not the same as Emma's, Ray raised his hand and the slap Norman's face, and then hugged him. ... you admit that you got a little jealous and put yourself behind the children so that no one could see you and you left without anyone knowing... The memory that you expressed your feelings to Norman at his last moment in Grace Field, the relief you were feeling for him being alive and the anger that you couldn't face him and embrace him filled your thoughts and so did you as you walked through the streets until you reached the exit door of the hiding place. You wanted to be a little alone, that was a lot of information to assimilate, so you went out into the forest.

*Norman P.O.V.*

It was wonderful to be with them all again, still in Ray and Emma's embrace I looked at the people around us... my beloved family, I detached myself from the embrace and felt the children all running towards me, screaming my name.

"It's so good to see you again, and good to see the new members of our family, welcome to you all." I examined the faces of each of them, but someone was missing. Y/n, the panic took over and me, I looked around quickly but I didn't see her, what happened to her?

"Emma, Ray?" They both turned their attention to me and their expressions changed when they saw the panic on my face "Where is Y/n?" I asked and Emma smiled~ "It's right here" she looked around but realized she wasn't there "Where is she? she was right behind me!" she said but a white-haired boy interrupted her~

"She went out, while you were hugging, she ran away and ran out" He said, what happened? Wasn't she happy to see me? The memory of her confession came back to my mind like a flash, I felt my face heat up a little, she still couldn't face me, I have to go find her.

"I'll go look for her, stay here I won't be long, so please go explore the surroundings, and eat something, I bet you're hungry," I said with a gentle smile as I hugged her again and left the room toward the exit to look for her.

*Y/n POV*

You didn't know how long you had been sitting there on that rock, looking at nothing, you felt the cold of the night passing through your back making your whole body shiver, until you sneezed.

You heard a noise of branches breaking, and immediately you looked up and turned your body back, a cloak figure was standing behind you, you got scared and fell off the rock banging your ass on the ground.

"Auch" you said caressing your sore ass with the fall~

"Sorry! Are you ok?" this voice... what would he do here? you look ahead and you saw him kneeling in front of you with his hand on top of yours, he had grown so much... he was really more attractive than he was, his more evolved body, his voice, his height, but those eyes never changed, you stared at his eyes for a while until you saw his face being painted pink and turning his gaze away from yours, immediately after that reaction you turned your face to the side.

"Y-yes i am, I'm sorry I just got scared because I didn't know you were there" you said in a calm and nervous voice

"I came looking for you... you disappeared when you saw me... I thought you missed me..." he said with a sad expression making your heart race... 'he came after me?' you thought by taking a deep breath

"Of course I was... I just didn't know how to react, just like all the others I thought you'd died that night." You took a short pause "Look, I'm sorry I ran away..." He looked directly at you, you were paralyzed, you felt your face warm, his gaze hypnotized you.

"I missed you... that night I... I wanted to hold you and not let go anymore... I didn't want to leave, I wanted to feel you against me, I wanted you to fall asleep in my lap, I wanted you never to cry again" you felt the tears fall on your face, his hand went up to your face, and wiped the tears that were trying to come out.

His touch was different, he was more adult, he wasn't the same innocent child two years ago, he was more mature, his thumb stroked your cheek and his hand put the strands of hair (H/c) behind your ear.

"I missed your look, your company, and I'm sorry I only realized my feelings for you after I left... I waited every day for you, for the day when I would be able to see your gaze again" he paused taking himself and pulling you with him, you were hypnotized by him, you couldn't, nor wanted, to move "Let me touch you, let me hug you. ... let me kiss you, I want to feel you, my love, I want to feel you close to me and this time I will not let go of you, my love I want to take care of you, be mine" his words were like whispers, his gaze penetrated yours, his thumb ran across your face until it reached your lips, caressing them down to your jawline lifting it.

Lightly his lips touched your neck, letting you still, you felt his breath making you tremble under his touch, he laughed softly, without realizing it he pushed your body back, leaning against a tree, his hand went down to your waist and another wandered between your neck and your face, his gaze screamed for your attention, he missed you too much and did not want to let you go without being able to touch you again. Your hands moved to his neck and to his chest, pulling him towards you, slowly you put yourself on tiptoes and kissed him lightly, the kiss began calmly but gradually became more fierce.

His hand that was on your waist went up to your neck, keeping you still under his control, it seemed like a dream, you felt your breaths accelerated and you couldn't calm down.

The two panting separated, he looked at you with a gentle smile and pulled you to his horse, stopping in front of you forcing you to look at him, his eyes were dangerous.

No word was said on the way to the hiding place, when we got there he helped you out of the horse and gave it to a boy, both walked side by side until they reached the cafeteria, where he before opening the door stood behind you with his hands on your shoulders and came close to your ear making you shiver. "I'm glad I learned to control myself, otherwise I don't know what I would have done with you behind, maybe you can find out later Love" his voice makes you blush violently, he opens the door and smiles like nothing, but his gaze changed when he saw you again, he was eager to have you in his arms again.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Death Cannot Stop True Love

Summary: After being kidnapped from his kidnapper by the Dread Pirate Roberts, Blaine reminisces on the poor farmboy who once held his heart.

The Princess Bride AU, one shot, 1.7k words

A/N: did i work on ANY of my wips this weekend? no <3

BUT DID I WATCH THE PRINCESS BRIDE TWICE AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY WRITE THIS? YOu BET YOUR ASS I DID

I've never really written anything like this??? But I surprisingly had a lot of fun with it, so let me know what you think! :D

Read on Ao3

*** 

Blaine’s hands land a bit too roughly against the grey granite for his taste, rather put off by the masked stanger’s manhandling.

He supposes being kidnapped by Willaim Schuester, then having the Dread Pirate Roberts kidnap him from his kidnapper wasn’t quite the delightful way he’d expected to end his evening ride, either.

“Rest, your Highness,” the man in black commands, the strands of tattered fabric that secure his mask tied behind his head billowing in the wind. Blaine refuses to shiver at the cool air of the highland whipping across his face, not wanting to show this man any signs of weakness. “You’re going to need it.”

“You’re the one who’s going to need rest,” Blaine spits, turning to face the man and take a proper seat on the stone. “My betrothed will come for me. Prince Smythe is an excellent tracker. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day, and he and his infantry will have me back in the castle and you in shackles by dusk.”

He should not make such bold claims at a time like this, and certainly not to someone as deadly as the Dread Pirate Roberts. Well, Blaine is only mostly sure he’s speaking to the infamous Pirate known for his murderous voyages on his ship, “Revenge”, but he’s certain enough.

“Ah, yes,” the man says bitterly back, fingers drumming ansty along the handle of his sheathed sword. “Prince Smythe. You have much faith in your most beloved, don’t you?”

Having his daily outing interrupted by that faux-philosopher Schuester from earlier and his two henchmen was unpleasant enough, but of all the things he’s heard come out of someone’s mouth this was the foulest. The law of the land gives Smythe the right to choose his spouse, and he chose Blaine. Despite this, Blaine knows he could never love Sebastian back. Now when he’s really known and lost his true love.

“I never said he was my most beloved,” Blaine snarls.

No. That title belongs to a name too precious to be uttered in front of the likes of a cheating, stealing, slaying pirate.

It’s been five long and lonely years since his dearest Kurt left him to venture out to sea, but Blaine can still feel Kurt’s hand in his sometimes, can still feel the residual warmth, as if it were yesterday. When he closes his eyes, it’s Kurt’s beautiful blue ones that are waiting for him when he falls asleep. Every round that his heart beats, it beats for the long dead Kurt Hummel.

Kurt had been Blaine’s family’s farm boy, and Blaine, in his infantile arrogance, loved nothing more than to boss him around. Whether it was “Farmboy, shine my saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning,” or “Farmboy, take these jugs down by the river to wash,” Kurt always responded with the same simple sentence that sent Blaine’s heart aflutter.

“As you wish.”

Blaine didn’t understand it at first—how could he, when he’d never been in love—the quickening of his pulse when he was near Kurt, how his knees seemed to careen and fail when hazel met piercing blue.

He didn’t understand why, when he’d asked Kurt to clean the stables, Kurt had looked at him with electricity in his eyes like a thunderstorm, and Blaine felt compelled to add a meek, “Please?” to the end of his request. He didn’t understand why when Kurt so softly answered him with those three little words— “As you wish” —Blaine would light like a lantern from the inside out.

He didn’t understand why he asked Kurt to fetch him a pitcher hanging right by his own head, just so he could be graced with having him in such close proximity, chest to chest.

“As you wish,” Kurt had said, and Blaine didn’t understand the magnetic force drawing them closer and closer.

And then Kurt’s lips were on his, and oh, how Blaine finally understood. He understood why wars were waged over Helen of Troy, and why lutists serenaded the public with foolish tunes of love that were actually the least foolish things in their nature.

He understood that every time Kurt said, “As you wish,” what he truly was saying was “I love you.”

He understood so clearly, and everything that wasn’t Kurt was reduced to complete and utter nonsense.

For a short year, they lived on borrowed time. Kurt’s family wasn’t from money, so he left the farm—and with it, Blaine—to seek wealth enough to ask for Blaine’s hand in marriage. It wasn’t long until the news came back to him that Kurt had encountered the Dread Pirate Roberts on the high seas.

There are three things Blaine knows to be true. Kurt Hummel was his one true love, death takes everyone and does not discriminate, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.

Kurt never returned to him after that.

“No, I suppose he’s not your one true love,” the Dread Pirate responds, unimpressed. “I wonder whether a royal-to-be like yourself has ever truly loved.”

“I’ve loved and been loved deeper than you will ever know!” Blaine counters. “He was stolen from me, his blood on your sword. I know who you are. You’re the Dread Pirate Roberts, admit it.”

The Dread Pirate gives a little flourish, his night black outfit a stark contrast to the verdant grass of the highlands. “With pride.”

“You killed my love.”

“Quite possible. I’ve killed many of noble blood aboard my ship.”

“You know nothing,” Blaine says. “He was poor. Poor and perfect and with eyes like the sea after a storm. I received notice that he’d crossed your path on the high seas, and as we all know, you never take prisoners.”

Roberts shrugs, displaying such upsetting nonchalance at Kurt’s demise. “Can’t afford to make any exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.”

Being held hostage by Schuester while the Dread Pirate fought off Michael Chang, one of the best swordsman ever to walk the earth, was nerve wracking. Hearing how he then proceeded to physically conquer who is probably the tallest man Blaine has ever seen, and then listening as he sat blindfolded to this man outwit William into drinking from a poisoned cup was a hellish enough adventure on its own, but it was not as dreadful as hearing his anguish ridiculed by this stranger.

“You mock my pain!”

“Life is pain, Highness.” The pirate gives Blaine a look that he would consider hurt, if he did not hate him so. “Anyone who says different is selling something… I think I remember this farmboy of yours. This would be about what, five years ago?”

Five years, three months, and sixteen days, Blaine refuses to say. His silence doesn’t deter Roberts from continuing.

“He died well, if it pleases you to hear that much.”

“With all due respect—which is little to none—nothing you can say will please me. Likewise, nothing you can say will harm me.”

“He made no attempts at either bribery or blubbering. He simply said Please. I need to live. It was the please that caught my attention. I need to live for him.” The pirate’s eyes grow misty and distant and so painfully reminiscent of his love’s that Blaine is forced to look away for a moment. “He spoke of a boy so lovely, and of enduring faithfulness. Sad to see he died for nothing. Tell me, Highness, when you heard news of his death, did you immediately become engaged, or did you wait a week out of respect for the dead?”

“Had I a choice in this matter I would join him among the realm of the dead!” Blaine yells back, surprised to see a bit of shock in the thief’s eyes. “You mocked my pain once, do not do it again. I died that day!”

The unmistakable sound of hooves pounding into the ground of the hillside opposite them causes Blaine to sigh in relief. He never thought he would be so elated to see his fiance. Still... elated may be too strong of a word.

The Dread Pirate turns to scout the incoming commotion, and Blaine acts before he has time to second guess himself.

“And you can die, too, for all I care,” he grits out, and shoves hard on the Dread Pirate’s back, sending the murderer tumbling down the hillside.

Blaine’s expecting to hear shouts of terror coming from the pirate, but what he hears next makes his stomach pool with dread.

“Aaaaaas yoooouuuuu wiiiiiiish!” echoes through the hillside, coming from the Dread Pirate Roberts and Blaine’s jaw drops.

“Kurt,” he gasps. “Oh God, what have I done?”

“Over there!” he hears Sebastian’s familiar and grating voice call out from just beyond the hillside. One glance behind his shoulder and Blaine knows they will come for him, and when they do, he will never see Kurt again.

So he jumps forward and follows Kurt rolling down along the slope of the hill.

Small rocks and flowers swirl past him in a blur, dirt kicked up every time his boots collide with the ground, and after falling for what feels like ages, his body finally comes to a halt, right next to Kurt’s warm one.

Blaine shifts to see Kurt better, body bruised from the fall, but soul absolutely jubilant.

Kurt scrambles over to him, black mask having been knocked off in the tumble. “Are you alright? Can you stand?”

Blaine laughs and reaches out to grab Kurt’s— Kurt’s —hand on top of his chest. as if to keep them physically tethered this time. “Stand? You’re alive. If you want, I could fly.” He buries his head deep into Kurt’s shoulder, inhaling the scent of him mixed with the grass and the dirt and the absolute joy of him being alive.

Kurt holds him back just as tight. “I told you I’d always come for you.”

“I thought you were dead.”

“My sweet Blaine,” Kurt murmurs, hand warm against Blaine’s cheek. “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”

Blaine barely has time to smile before Kurt’s lips are on his again, back in their rightful place.

[kuramirocket]

On July 10, 1520, Aztec forces vanquished the Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés and his men, driving them from Tenochtitlan, capital of the Aztec empire. The Spanish soldiers were wounded and killed as they fled, trying in vain to drag stolen gold and jewels with them.

By September, an unexpected ally of the would-be conquerors had reached the city: the variola virus, which causes smallpox.

How the Aztecs responded to this threat would prove critical.

The Aztecs were no strangers to plagues. Among the speeches recorded in their rhetoric and moral philosophy, we find a warning to new kings concerning their divinely ordained role in the event of contagion:

Sickness will arrive during your time. How will it be when the city becomes, is made, a place of desolation? Just how will it be when everything lies in darkness, despair? You will also go rushing to your death right then and there. In an instant, you will be over.

Facing a plague, it was vital that the king respond with grace. They warned:

Do not be a fool. Do not rush your words, do not interrupt or confuse people. Instead find, grasp, arrive at the truth. Make no one weep. Cause no sadness. Injure no one. Do not show rage or frighten folks. Do not create a scandal or speak with vanity. Do not ridicule. For vain words and mockery are no longer your office. Never, of your own will, make yourself less, diminished. Bring no scorn upon the nation, its leadership, the government.

Retract your teeth and claws. Gladden your people. Unite them, humor them, please them. Make your nation happy. Help each find their proper place. That way you’ll be esteemed, renowned. And when our Lord extinguishes you, the old ones will weep and sigh.

If a king did not follow this advice, if his rule caused more suffering than it abated, then the people prayed to Tezcatlipoca for any number of consequences, including his death:

May he be made an example of. Let him receive some reprimand, whatever you choose. Perhaps punishment. Disease. Perhaps you’ll let your honor and glory fall to another of your friends, those who weep in sorrow now. For they do exist. They live. You have no want of friends. They are sighing before you, humble. Choose one of them.

Perhaps he [the bad ruler] will experience what the common folk do: suffering, anguish, lack of food and clothing. And perhaps you will give him the greatest punishments: paralysis, blindness, rotting infection.

Or will he instead soon depart this world? Will you bring about his death? Will he get to know our future home, the place with no exits, no smoke holes? Maybe he will meet the Lord of Death, Mictlanteuctli, mother and father of us all.

Clearly, the Aztecs took the responsibilities of leadership very seriously. Beyond uplifting morale, a king’s principal duty in times of contagion was deploying his subjects to “their proper place” so that the kingdom could continue to function. This included mobilizing the titicih, doctor-healers with vast herbal knowledge, most of them women pledged to the primal mother goddess Teteoh Innan.

What about the rest of the people? As with our own modern call for “thoughts and prayers,” the Aztecs believed their principal collective tool for fending off epidemics was a humble appeal to Tezcatlipoca. The very first speech of their text of rhetoric and moral philosophy was a supplication to destroy plague. After admitting how much they might deserve this scourge and recognizing the divine right of Tezcatlipoca to punish them however he sees fit, the desperate Aztecs tried to get their powerful god to consider the worst-case outcome of his vengeance:

O Master, how in truth can your heart desire this? How can you wish it? Have you abandoned your subjects? Is this all? Is this how it is now? Will the common folk just go away, be destroyed? Will the governed perish? Will emptiness and darkness prevail? Will your cities become choked with trees and vines, filled with fallen stones? Will the pyramids in your sacred places crumble to the ground?

Will your anger never be reversed? Will you look no more upon the common folk? For—ah!—this plague is destroying them! Darkness has fallen! Let this be enough. Stop amusing yourself, O Master, O Lord. Let the earth be at rest! I fall before you. I throw myself before you, casting myself into the place from which no one rises, the place of terror and fear, crying out: O Master, perform your office … do your job!

Smallpox arrived in Mesoamerica with a second wave of Spaniards who joined forces with Cortés. According to one account, they had with them an enslaved African man known as Francisco Eguía, who was suffering from smallpox. He, like many others on the continent of his birth, had no immunity to the disease carried there by the slave traders.

Eguía died in the care of Totonac people near Veracruz, the port city established by the Spanish some 250 miles east of the Aztec capital. His caretakers became infected. Smallpox spreads easily: not only blood and saliva, but also skin-to-skin contact (handshakes, hugs) and airborne respiratory droplets. It raced through a population with no herd immunity at all: along the coast, over the mountains, across the waters of Lake Texcoco, into the very heart of the populous empire.

The epidemic lasted 70 days in the city of Tenochtitlan. It killed 40 percent of the inhabitants, including the emperor, Cuitlahuac. Had he found it increasingly difficult to keep his people’s spirits up as tradition commanded? Had his leadership faltered? Did his subjects pray for his death?

Whatever the case, the memory of that devastation would echo for centuries. Some Nahuas—mostly the sons and grandsons of Aztec nobility—described the devastation decades after the conquest.

Their account harrows the soul:

It started during Tepeilhuitl [the 13th month of the solar calendar], when a vast human devastation spread over everyone. Some were covered in pustules, which spread everywhere, on people’s faces, heads, chests, etc. There was great loss of life; many people died of it.

They could not walk anymore. They just lay in bed in their homes. They could not move anymore, could not shift themselves, could not sit up or stretch out on their sides. They could not lay flat on their backs or even face down. If they even stirred, they screamed out in pain.

Many died of hunger, too. They starved because no one was left to care for the others; no one could attend to anyone else. On some people, the pustules were few and far between. They caused little discomfort, and those folks did not die. Still others had their faces marred.

By Panquetzaliztli [the 15th month of the solar year], it began to fade. At that time the brave warriors of the Mexica managed to recover.

But a hard lesson had been learned. None of the old remedies had worked. Entire families were gone. Funeral pyres effaced the sun.

The epidemic was only the beginning of the unexpected forces working in tandem to bring down the Aztec empire. On May 22, 1521—just as Tenochtitlan was beginning to recover, trying to rebuild trade routes, restock its supplies, replant its fields and aquatic chinampa gardens—Cortés returned.

This time he commanded more Spanish troops, men from the same second wave that had brought the smallpox. With them marched tens of thousands of Tlaxcaltecah warriors, the sworn enemies of the Aztecs. Smallpox had reached Tlaxcallan first, but its people—not as densely packed in urban areas like the Mexica—had fared better and were now ready to finish off their rivals.

The massive military force laid siege to the Aztec capital. Even with more than half the population dead or disabled, with little food or water or supplies, the Mexica held the city for three months.

Then, on August 13, 1521, it fell. Emptiness and darkness indeed prevailed.

Lines from a song composed by an unknown Mexica not long afterward sums up the emotions of the survivors:

It is our God who brings down

His wrath, His awesome might

upon our heads.

So friends, weep at the realization—

we abandon the Mexica Way.

Now the water is bitter,

the food is bitter: that

is what the Giver of Life

has wrought.

Without the smallpox, it’s much less likely Cortés and his allies could have taken Tenochtitlan. 

The plague—cocoliztli—was the most devastating post-conquest epidemic in large parts of Mexico, wiping out somewhere around 80 percent of the native population.

“Somewhere around” because population estimates are difficult to come by, with extrapolations made from incomplete colonial sources that date back to precolonial times. For the ethnohistorian Charles Gibson, there is no “sure method for determining whether the later [colonial era] counts were more accurate or less accurate than the earlier ones,” so that “the magnitude of the unrecorded population seems unrecoverable.”

Nevertheless, Gibson’s best estimate is a population of 1,500,000 inhabitants of the Valley of Mexico at the time of first contact with Europeans. There was a sharp fall of about 325,000 by 1570; a drastic fall to about 70,000 by the mid-seventeenth century; followed by slow growth to about 275,000 by 1800. Gibson’s figures are simply staggering. They give us a rough impression, but tell us little about the suffering and massive social upheaval caused by these catastrophes.

Slavery, forced labor, wars, and large-scale resettlements all worked together to make indigenous communities more vulnerable to disease.

According to the “Virgin Soil” theory, the epidemics were so desctructive because “the populations at risk have had no previous contact with the diseases that strike them and are therefore immunologically… defenceless,” as the psychiatrist David Jones writes in the William & Mary Quarterly. The theory is still widespread, often devolving into vague claims that indigenous people had “no immunity” to the new epidemics. By now we know that the lack of immunity played a role, but mostly early on. Current research instead emphasizes an interplay of influences, for the most part triggered by Europeans: slavery, forced labor, wars, and large-scale resettlements all worked together to make indigenous communities more vulnerable to disease.

According to a group of scholars writing in the journal Latin American Antiquity, in colonial Mexico, “by the mid-17th century, many… communities had failed, victims of massive population decline, environmental degradation, and economic collapse.” This is why it’s crucial for today’s scholars to emphasize the influence of colonial policies—as opposed to the Virgin Soil theory, which shifts responsibility away from Europeans.

One peak of the epidemic occurred in the 1570s. The exact pathogen that caused that epidemic is not yet known. Some scholars have speculated that, since it struck mostly younger people, it might have been something unique to the New World and reminiscent of the Spanish Influenza outbreak, possibly a tropical hemorrhagic fever. Other recent theories include Salmonella, or a combination of diseases. Native communities were the main victims of this epidemic due to their poverty, malnourishment, and harsh working conditions compared to the Spanish population.

Three Circles in the Sun

Aztec authors from central Mexico noted their reactions to the epidemics in fascinating detail. Writing 100 years after the Spanish military takeover, they were painfully aware of the consequences of epidemics and colonization: epidemics had taken place before, but the unprecedented scale of the disasters caused widespread incomprehension, sadness, and anger.

Much of the extant writing by Aztec authors dates to the turn of the seventeenth century. Many of the authors had experienced the plague themselves, its effects still fresh in their memories. I want to focus on two pieces of writing: a report by the well-known historian Diego Muñoz Camargo from Tlaxcala, written in Spanish; and an anonymous text in the indigenous language, Nahuatl, from the Puebla region.

As Diego Muñoz Camargo, the famous historian from the era, wrote:

In 1576, another great pestilence struck this land, bringing death and destruction to the native population. It lasted over a year and brought ruin and decay to most of New Spain [the Spanish Viceroyalty covering today’s Mexico], as the native population was then almost extinct. One month before the outbreak of the disease, an obvious sign had been seen in the sky: three circles in the sun, resembling bleeding or exploding suns, in which the colours merged. The colours of those three circles were those of the rainbow and could be seen from eight o’clock until almost one o’clock at noon.

This passage demonstrates the great importance of omens for the Aztecs. 

It is not surprising that the second report, from the smaller community of Tecamachalco, also links diseases with the appearance of a comet. Probably written by the native noble Don Mateo Sánchez, the text shows the extent of the catastrophe in words quite similar to Diego Muñoz Camargo’s:

On the first day of August [of 1576] the great sickness began here in Techamachalco. It was really strong; there was no resisting. At the end of August began the processions because of the sickness. They finished on the ninth day. Because of it, many people died, young men and women, those who were old men and women, or children… When the month of October began, thirty people had been buried. In just two or three days they would die… They lost their senses. They thought of just anything and would die.

Several of Don Mateo’s family members also died, including his wife and the alcalde (mayor) of his quarter. Don Mateo then took over the post of alcalde. One can sense his incomprehension and anguish. The decimation of the indigenous elites is evident throughout his account.

This decimation contributed to the transformation of native societies well into the seventeenth century, including forced native labor and resettlements, the introduction of hierarchical Spanish laws and government, Christianity, and the alphabet. Together with increasing European immigration, the epidemic led to a massive upheaval of indigenous sociopolitical organization and ways of life, especially in the Valley of Mexico.

Don Mateo’s is not the only surviving account of the epidemic from an indigenous perspective. Other anonymous annals from Puebla and Tlaxcala from the era discuss earlier waves of disease, which remained firmly rooted in collective memory more than 100 years after the events. Like Mateo, these sources do not try to account for the origin of the disease, but they provide an idea of the scale and horror of the epidemic and the personal tragedies involved, the uprooting of families, of whole towns.

Meanwhile, the Spaniards’ narratives tried to explain the catastrophic effect the disease had on the indigenous population by pointing to difficult living conditions. But they also interpreted it as divine punishment for paganism and a sign of the native peoples’ alleged inferiority to Europeans. Of course, European remedies such as bloodletting, used in hospitals to treat indigenous patients, worsened conditions instead of healing them. Ultimately, the Spanish Crown feared above all a further loss of cheap or unpaid labour; the priests a loss of souls to be converted.

Holding Off Oblivion

Despite the harsh conditions, the descendants of the Aztecs did not give up—as has long been claimed in traditional scholarship. As the historian Camilla Townsend has argued, the demographic collapse lent urgency to the projects of major native historians—including the authors I’ve cited in this essay. Nearly all pre-Hispanic sources were destroyed by the Spanish, with some lost over time. The Chalca scholar Domingo de Chimalpahin commented on this confluence of factors: the destruction of sources and abandonment of communities strengthened his sense of responsibility to future generations. By writing history, he attempted to save his ancestors’ past from looming oblivion. Drawing on pre-Hispanic faith, continuing political participation, and recording the histories of their people: these are some of the ways in which Aztecs proactively shaped their lives following colonial devastation.

Centuries of colonial exploitation and violence have made the indigenous peoples of both Americas disproportionately vulnerable to current epidemics. This makes the resilience of indigenous peoples and cultures all the more incredible. Such resilience has developed over more than 500 years, in the face of continual adversity and disregard. Native American peoples provide varied and remarkable testimonies on weathering existential crises. The least we can do, in the midst of the current pandemic, is listen.

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