#i... don't actually write much post the nom

[fastfur07]

Ham Sandwich, Pt. 2

This is for one mutual. I channeled all my grossness into this piece, please enjoy it.

Soft, safe vore, semi-willing prey, foodplay (I suppose).

“How are you feeling?”

I slump into a couch, its military-grade foam not doing much for my back. With regard to how I’m feeling, there are a lot of things I’d like to say, but I hold my tongue, because I’m talking to an organiser and they might have a microphone somewhere. 

I’ve just spent the last ten minutes throwing up all eighty-six matzo balls I ate to place sixth in the featherweight division of the National Speed-eating Championships. Only the top three from each division go through to the International, but I knew I wasn’t going to get there. I never wanted to. Of course I want to eventually - speed eating feels like my life’s purpose - but it’s going to take a few more years before I’m ready to compete at that level. I pushed myself too hard.

“What time is it?” I groan, dodging the organiser’s question.

“12:40.”

My already angry stomach lurches again. “I– I have to go,” I cough, slowly getting to my feet and dashing down the hall. The heavyweight division begins at one o’clock. And he’s going to be in it.

I last saw Jeremiah when I arrived this morning. It had been a long journey into the city, and when I finally arrived at the hotel where the competition was going to be held, he was standing outside, almost like he was waiting for me. He winked when we made eye contact, and I hurried through the doors. I've managed to avoid him since then.

I despise him. He’s rude, he’s self-absorbed, and he ate me alive and got away with it. Sure, he did cough me up later, but I feared for my life. If he’s not a rival, I don’t know what is.

That’s why I have to see him stumble today. There has to be someone bigger and more shameless than Jeremiah in the heavyweights. He needs to know how it feels to be in my position. 

But I’m not going to let him see me. That would be more embarrassment than my weakened stomach can take.

---

It’s seven minutes to one, and I finally arrive at the indoor sports centre on the eighth floor of the hotel. I feel a twinge of envy, seeing how the place has been decked out: I and the rest of the featherweights had been crammed unceremoniously into the food court a few floors below. Just because we’re smaller, they think they can spare any expense? Oh well, perhaps one of those plastic chairs will collapse. That’d make me laugh, at least.

It shouldn’t be hard to hide from Jeremiah, considering the size of both me and the room. Even so, I creep up to the back row and crouch down in my seat. He’s at table number nine, looking as smug as ever, and now I realise I’ve never actually seen him eat. I’ve always been distracted. This could also be a chance for me to learn his strategy.

The food of choice for this event: pizza, cut into quarters. A cheer erupts from the stands as it’s wheeled in on trolleys and distributed around the tables. If I wasn’t feeling sick still, I’d be cheering for pizza too. Referees take their places behind competitors. Scoreboards blink to life on screens. I glance at Jeremiah - is he looking at me? I shrink back again. The crowd hushes. There’s a long pause. Then a single chime sounds from the speakers, and the contest is underway.

I won’t mince words - Jeremiah is a beast. He starts off by stacking slices and cramming them in his mouth two at a time, swallowing them easily. He seems so relaxed, like he’s not even competing. Like this is just how he normally eats pizza.

I can’t take my eyes off him. Something about his technique has me transfixed. He tries taking three slices at a time, and it doesn’t look like he’s struggling with that either. I try to look at anyone else, but he has me held. Just like he held me back in the stadium lounge, just before lifting me to his hungry jaws. 

Remembering being eaten is not helping me keep my composure. I can’t help but imagine myself in the place of those pizzas, my heart pounding harder with each one that disappears. Now he rolls one up and forces it in whole, and I swear I can see it making a bulge in his neck as he gulps it down. This is ridiculous; how is he so calm?! I think my face is going red, and I bury it in my hands, but even then I can hear the disgusting sounds of his gluttony. And the anxiety is creeping up on me that he might be planning to have me for dessert. 

Then, the finishing chime cuts through the noise, and I’m released. I sit up and look around. No one took notice, thank goodness. Then I look at the scoreboards, and my jaw hits the floor.

First place, Jeremiah Denver, with 72 slices.

Jeremiah stands up, the crowd roaring their approval. He won. I can’t believe it. Even though we weren’t directly competing, I still feel as crushed as I had back in the stadium. Someone approaches him with a microphone: great, another chance for him to be gross.

“Congratulations, Mr. Denver!” they say. “I think I speak for everyone here when I say, please tell us your secret!”

“Well, I’m not going to let up that easily,” he laughs, “but while you’re here, I’d like to put in a good word for Ham Lanolin, who you may have seen competing in the featherweights earlier today. He’s been a great inspiration for me.”

I jolt upwards as he says my name. Surely he doesn’t know I’m here.

“Ham, I know you’re watching this. Come see me after, we have lots to catch up on.” Jeremiah looks into a camera, his face looming over me from the screens. He grins, and licks his lips.

That’s too much for me to take. I get to my feet and half-run, half-stumble out of the room as Jeremiah shakes hands with the other heavyweights. He is planning to eat me again! I bolt for the elevator: I have to get out of here.

---

Within a few minutes I’ve shut myself into my allocated room and collapsed onto a bed. I just need to collect my things, and then I'll escape. I'm throwing my satchel over my shoulder when I hear a knock at the door. I freeze up.

"Go away," I strain.

"Mr. Lanolin?" says a voice that can only belong to an organiser. "You forgot your trophy."

I didn't know they gave out trophies for sixth place, but I suppose I need something to feel good about myself right about now. I pry my aching body off the bed, unlock the door, and slide it open - and standing in front of me is Jeremiah.

He's in the room before I can close the door. He wolf-and-seven-kids-ed me; how did I fall for that? I backpedal, bump into the bed, and scurry to the far wall. "Stay away from me! What do you want?"

He hands me a small trophy in the shape of a matzo ball. I retch, but was I wrong? Maybe he doesn't have any other reason to be here. Maybe he's even being friendly. "T-thanks," I manage, slipping it into my satchel.

Jeremiah sits down next to me. The bed frame bends, causing me to roll towards him. This gives him the opportunity to put a bulky arm around me, drawing me even closer. From this point of view he could be mistaken for a landmass.

"So how've you been, Ham?"

I'm a hair’s breadth from his belly, a small strip of which is poking out from beneath his tracksuit. It's giving off a bubbling sound that’s all too familiar, deep and volatile, quickening my pulse when it was just starting to slow down. 

"I, well, uh–" I fumble with my words. I try to push away, but his body is too soft; my hands just press in and I can't put any distance between us. Jeremiah laughs. "Nice going earlier today. Good to see you eating well."

"Thanks…" I mumble. "Congrats on winning. You were-- really, I mean, that was really something…"

"Aw, yeah, it was a bit of a challenge." He slaps his pizza-filled gut with his other hand, prompting a gurgle that sends vibrations through me. “I just wish we’d gone a little longer, though, I was just starting to get full.”

Oh my god, he’s not even full.

If I had any doubt about what he’s trying to do, it’s gone now. I know I can’t escape him; he’s probably honed his predatory instincts to the point that he could snatch me out of the air no matter what direction I run. I attempt to quell my fears, inhale the smell of pizza coming off him, and realise that I can at least go in on my own terms.

“L–” I begin, and a lump forms in my throat immediately. “Look, Jeremiah.”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t take it anymore.” It’s taking more effort to force out the words than it was to force in the food. “You’ve been hovering over me and keeping me on edge all day. I know what you’re going to do, but I just can’t stand not knowing when it’s gonna happen! So… can you just get it over with and… and eat me?”

Jeremiah cocks his head, playing dumb. “Eat you? You thought I was gonna eat you again? Well, aren’t you a little paranoid. Sure, if you insist.” 

The grin returns to his face as his giant hand scoops me up, and I do my best not to have a heart attack. I'm hoisted above him as he sizes me up, licking his lips again, and opens his vast mouth. I stare down into the abyss of his throat, hot breath washing over me, and feel like I'm about to be dropped into an active volcano. The impatient bubbling coming from within only adds to that image. Then I'm lowered, the pinkness getting larger until it's all I can see, and met by a slick tongue that wets my clothes almost immediately. I slide down it, leaning back to avoid the row of glistening teeth rushing past me, and feel my ankles be gripped by folds of muscle. Jeremiah's breath surrounds me now, a pungent mixture of something dull and fishy, something sharp and acidic, and pizza. Soon that stench is going to include a little taste of me. 

As my world goes dark and saliva soaks me to the core, I remind myself that I'm doing this the easy way, of my own volition, and that it was going to happen eventually.

---

I land into a slop of half-digested pizza, shuddering at the texture. I'm about to feel around for a wall when the walls find me instead, squishing me from all sides as Jeremiah looses a thunderous burp. I pout: he must have been saving that one up just for me. 

It's taking all my effort to stay upright, but I can’t sink down or I might go under. “Are you happy now?” I call, craning my neck.

“Sure, are you?” chuckles Jeremiah. He rises from the bed, his footsteps making me wobble up and down. “By the way, do you want a ride home? I think you might need it.”

I grit my teeth. Is it any wonder I hate this guy? He’s never satisfied. But I would appreciate a ride home: the public transport is hell at the moment. Not that it matters what I say. 

I press my back into the fleshy wall. I’ll get him for this eventually, but for now I can’t shake the feeling that this might be a tolerable experience - if it wasn’t so hot and dark and humid and noisy and acrid and, you know, crowded… 

The end

[proboblynotstriaght]

I put far too much effort into my shitposting and screenshot taking...

Oh well! you all seem to enjoy them! And I like having all my best screenshots in a place that doesn't take up a crazy amount of space in my computer!!

As usual past the cut there are spoilers for episode 40 but I try to keep it away from any major spoilers

(also psst, @raeemar this is for you! your reblog made my day!)

Let's get into Episode 40!!!! Rich : The bean footage is a DM thing I can't say it! ||| Mike : eeeeeehhhh we can change it?

Bro bonding moment, bullying lornings edition

Twig : *explaining fae deals and how to make better deals* |||| Gricko : *not paying attention*

Nikkie : *doing a fantastic Torbek impression!* ||| A++ Nikkie Torbeks voice is hard

"Twig we haven't run a successful business in all the 8 years-" "Woah now!" uh oh! the couple is Fiiiighting

"Think of the margins we'll have on the Displacer Beast piss"

Frost : So are we going to kill these fucker or what?

"I guess that makes sense... fucking nerd"

"I knew a guy who would make and sell this kinda stuff, 5 people died it was a whole thing in the news and everything" "Well how many people did he sell it to" "Like... 5"

"Well, I'm just going to say... shit that was funny"

"How long did it take those goblins to die?" "the last one lingered... for a good three months"

Twigsy, blacked out from all the alcohol, and flailing around as Gideon picks her up

His face haunts my dreams...

Derek : *a punny name for the drink* || Gricko : that's not very good

Frost and Kremy are drunk, Gricko and Gideon are trying to be the smart ones for once

"Frost you realize that you've been writing with a chicken leg, and what you thought was parchment, is now clearly human skin" "Well, I've completed page one of my cookbook, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom"

"He is continuing to do whatever Torbek does" "Pump his fists" "NO HE DOES NOT"

Grickos imitation of Gideon, I just need you to know that Mace is laughing so hard that it's not actually audible.

This man is laughing so hard he is completely silent and shaking, I'm genuinely concerned for this mans health

Derek : It doesn't even give Gricko a little wink? Like John Void at the end of Anaconda?

I love when Derek makes a joke because they are funny, but also he's almost laughing himself as he's telling the joke

Richie : I'm sorry I thought he was saying something else

guys it took me like four trays to get the screenshot of his face, IT'S SO FUNNY

MIke in Gricko's voise : Gimmie that Bussay

"The Stream Kill-inator" "beep beep beep"

Husband moments be like. FRosty really likes to irritate Kremy about his hat huh

SHUT THE STREAM DOWN

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I don't understand most of the references they make but I like how hard they all laugh at them

Derek telling a ridiculous story of how he had too watch the same movie twice in one day and he hated the movie both times

Nikkie : *Horrifying description of Torbek eating one of the Lornlings* Just kidding that doesn't happen!

Singing : It's Torbek It's Torbek, Everybody hates Torbek

Part 2 of this post is one the way! These posts keep getting longer and longer

Edit : Part 2 is here!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760423614759714816/part-2-of-my-episode-40-screenshots-despite-andy?source=share

[alice-after-dark]

@rms-mathematic for the fanon vs canon post

Some interesting food here, nom nom nom

While I personally subscribe to the idea that Alastor doesn't like Valentino, I actually don't think that Valentino hates Alastor. I think he would enjoy taunting him and getting under his skin. I think Valentino thinks he's better than Alastor. But again, that's the idea I subscribe to. Like you said, we've never actually seen them interact. The closest thing we have from Alastor towards Valentino is him nonchalantly saying that the Vees aren't important. We have much more from Valentino towards Alastor and it's...not particularly hateful? It's more...amused? Like he's entertained by the whole situation between Alastor and Vox rather than being hateful towards Alastor.

As for Lucifer and Charlie being able to break/modify soul contracts, yeah I agree that that would be bad writing. Like, if that was ever brought into the show, there would have to be some serious consequences to either of them for doing so. It would mess with so much. I can imagine it would be possible, but I would need there to be some serious magical backlash for messing with a contract. I think that's what most people miss when they play with this. There's no consequences to either of them for breaking/modifying a soul contract. When there's no consequences to match the action, it just hits like a cop-out or a Deus Ex Machina.

[uniquevoidflowers]

Dunno what exactly this is BUT:

Ready y'all? I'm ranting about all my mutuals cuz y'all are so freakin amazing.

@mad-navi, I know we barely interact but I think you're pretty cool and I love reading your tags. I think it would be really fun to bake cookies with you.

@majorproblems77, Omg your writing is so good, I love reading your stuff! You know how to whump and angst, soooooo.. Your also pretty fun to talk to, and you have amazing ideas!!!

@strawberry-catcake, I could literally eat your art. I'm so in love with your art style. Just how you draw clothes and faces!!! But also I like talking to you, and you have good taste! Hugs for you 🫂

@akchimp75, your art style is so cute!!! I love your confidence, and I get ridiculously happy when you reblog, reply, or like any of my things.

@raeofsky, another mutual I don't interact with too often (even though I should), you seem really friendly and I love seeing your reblogs ❤️

@isasan347, my gosh your ideas, I actually love seeing your posts with gem, cause you two have such good ideas. And your art is so so brilliant. Another fun person to talk with!!!

@onceuponaladye, Gosh, I really like talking to you!!!! I'm giving you many hugs 🫂. You are really cool, and with the art I've seen, I can say that your art is really cool too. 💖

@kiwi-der-vogel, Your. Art. Is. So. Freakin. Fantastic. I'm in love with the bright colours you use and the jokes you make. Makes me laugh everytime!

@link-or-sherlock, Your art is literally so amazing. You have no idea how happy I was when you made those void flowers. AND I could probably talk to you for hours on end. Thanks for everything, and for adopting me <333

@ikaishere, your art is so marvellous, I love everything about it! Giving you internet hot chocolate for whumptober this year. Also, when did you follow me???/pos

@1000emotions, We should definitely talk more, you seem really cool. Love your ramblings!

@baileyboo2016, You are really funny/pos! From what I've seen, your art looks really cool. I love seeing you gush over characters, and I like your ideas!

@cal-the-imp, your photography my word...It's literally the best I've seen. Your poetry as well! 🫂🫂🫂

@finleyforevermore, you are literally so amazing and the sagas you have are hilarious. You also have some pretty good taste!!!

@/somebody-random-lol I don't know if you want me to tag you in this, but ily/plat, and I like talking to you :)

@justalilghosty, uh I don't think we've ever interacted but you're really cool. (sorry if this is a bother)

@frostedshadow, To this day, I'm still a little surprised you even know me/pos. You are literally so freakin cool, and I love talking to you.

@vio-starzz, uh you are literally so amazing, when did you follow me?! Love your writing and your art!!!

@prince-of-red-lions, Literally, so fantastic! il your art, you do a really good job with expressions!!! Giving you hugs 🫂! You are really friendly and deserve everything!!!!

@whyoneartheven, so sweet, so friendly, and you are so good at drawing!!! You are so fun to talk to, hope you have a lovely day/night!!!

@anadorablekiwi, anjbhshsbhhibihbh you are so fantastic!!! Been meaning to follow you for literally forever but forgot and only recently did. ❤️❤️❤️

@candy8448, you are so creative and your art is so cute! You also write really good! I'm eating your ideas nom nom.

@here4dragons, I know we haven't interacted too much, but you're SO cool!!! Giving you hugs 🫂

@almost-an-artist, your art is so adorable and we haven't been mutuals for long but you seem really really nice.

@r0achezz, your art and writing is just really good 💖, and you are really fun to talk to.

@i-am-1142,asdfergrhttge you're literally so cool and amazing and-

@margindoodles2407, Ahjisurehrijowretutrhyrt you are so creative and your art and writing is just ahhhhhhhhhhh, ilysm/p <3

@arsonisticscholar, il your ocs! I don't think we've interacted but you seem really fun and cool <3

[short-black-diamond]

Hi, I read Toman and Muslim Reader a while ago and I like it So since Eid al-Adha is near, can you write a second part with the addition of Tenjiku and Yuzuha?

And I wonder what their reaction will be when they discover that a reader cannot marry a person who is not a Muslim unless he converts to Islam and performs all the religious duties as it should.(It was funny when reading Mitsuya and Draken's reaction when they found out that Muslims don't get tattoos 😂😂)

Of course love! Also please tell me how you want to be called. Someone claimed the 🍰nom as an anonymous, you can have a name too!

I think Imma convert to Islam to be honest 'cuz it's such a cool and peaceful and beautiful religion and I honestly hate anyone who thinks of them as terrorists or some other bad thing.

Is what you said 'Eid al-Adha' this festival where you kill/sacrifice a goat or sheep or something? My friend told me that she would do it this wednesday or thursday, as in the festival being two days long or something...? Also she said that she'd fast on the 27th...oh well

Anyways, I actually laughed my ass off when I thought about their shocked faces and then also thinking of each other like 'damn, Draken/Mitsuya has one too!' and then the first one calling the other and berating each other about getting their tattoos removed lol

Also, I'm going to write stuff which is sadly not happening canonly, and I'm only at chapter 139, so please bear with me. Also you didn't tell me which ones, so I just did these below plus your precious Yuzuha.

Also sorry for only posting it now...

Characters: Izana Kurokawa, Kakucho, Ran Haitani, Yuzuha Shiba

I did not proofread.

---

Tokyo revengers with a muslim friend :D , part two

part one , tr with a muslim wife

Izana Kurokawa

Nah bruh, that's not it.

he saw you for the first time when he craved some food in the convenience store

didn't really think much of you at first, but he didn't really see you before

you also didn't really look like a japanese woman, more like a foreigner

so, he just watched you for a bit

you were actually having a pretty good life, and he was a little jealous

but then, one day, you were quickly making your way to a bigger shop, while talking to somebody in a stressed manner, you were sweating and looking around fevereshly

over the time he watched you, he grew somwehat protective of you

and when he saw you like this? He didn't like it

he thought that somebody was after you, and what would be the best way to introduce himself to you?

After all, many people here knew him and also not to mess with him

"my name is Izana Kurokawa, and I noticed that you didn't look very well. Are you alright?"

and when you noticed him, like really staring into his eyes, he lost it

you were the most beautiful woman he's ever met actually, and he felt his breath hitch

"Huh? Oh no, it's alright love, just preparing for a festival is all!"

Festival? But there were no Japanese festivals announced yet-

"Oh, let me introcuce myself first. My name is ____ ______ and I'm from ______. I'm a muslim, as in my religion is Islam, and in a week, a day called Eid-Adha will come and there we will sacrifice a sheep/goat and share some meat with our aquaintances and eat it along with friends and families."

This was too much input, but he managed to understand

"Do you guys have a sheep yet?"

"Sadly no, we also can't buy slughtered meat from the meathouse because it's not halal."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means that the sheep is not slaughtered by a muslim."

"...and what if I bring you an alive sheep? would that be okay?"

"What? Oh, no. No no, please, you don't have to stress yourself, Kurokawa, it's alright!"

Nah, it was not. Your parents were in dire need of a sheep actually

And safe to say, you were secretely happy that the friend you made the day prior did not only help you with your groceries, he also brought you a sheep the next day

...but where did he get that animal from?

after your confrontation, Izana had no choice but to tell you the truth.

He told you about everything that happened and expected you to give him a scared expression and then run away

but you gave him a sad look.

"I can somewhat relate to what you're going through right now. But doing all this because you're holding a grudge against his little brother is not going to lift your spirit, you know?"

You poured him a cup of tea and he thanked you silently.

Izana was surprised that you still talked to him. He really expected you to run away

"would Shinichiro be okay with you trying to hurt his brother? You're Emma's brother, after all. Have you gotten in contact with her yet? I'm sure she'd love to see her sibling again."

Emma...?

Tears spilled from his eyes. His shoulders shook.

"Izana...it's okay. let it all out. God knows what you're going through. He is testing you."

"why..? Why is god doing that to me...?", the leader croaked, and you could see a spark in his eyes.

"Because he loves you. God loves every single living form in this planet. He created us, after all. And he is also the most forgiving of us all.

Talk to Mikey, talk to Emma. Talk to everyone you don't like and see what happens. Hope for the best, pray for the best thing to happen. Imagine how happy Shinichiro would be if he saw his two brothers getting along! Imagine how happy Emma would be to see you again!"

He thought about it, but he was not so sure.

But he tried.

He asked you to accompany him, and you said yes with a smile. you were glad to aid as emotional support.

What you didn't tell him though, was that you already knew Mikey and Toman.

Izana didn't.

And so, Izana met with Mikey, who firstly greeted you, and then also greeted Izana, but with a little less respect.

"Listen, Manjiro Sano, I'm sorry. Surely, you must've read my letters by now,", he started as he noticed a carton boy with opened letters that looked an awful lot like the ones he and Shin sent each other.

"I...was jealous of you. That you were his...real brother. I wanted to be his brother too, but well..."

Mikey understood. "then let's be brothers, Izana."

Izana looked at him with more widened eyes, then he looked at you. You smiled at him.

From that day on, Tenjiku and Toman were good with each other, thanks to a little help of yours.

Izana also felt closer to you. He felt at ease with you. He wanted to know more about you.

Izana wasn't really a religious person, so it gave him a little whiplash when you told him that you could only marry a muslim or a converted muslim.

He never knew that he'd want to try to become or do something for someone

but if it was you, then he'd for sure try.

and it was actually the best experience he had

praying fives times a day was no problem, as you and him frequented a mosque that wasn't too far away from you

he was a little sad by the fact that he couldn't pray with you, but the brothers on the other side welcomed him with open arms

Izana would've actually liked to stay there longer and listen to the men, but he remembered that he had to meet up with you in two minutes

like an excited puppy did he tell you about everything he knew, and only after a second did he realize that you knew most of it already

still, you gave him a smile and encouraged him to learn more

Kakucho

That guy is just as stupid as the others.

He also just noticed you recently, but he found you to be a pretty foreigner

He actually wanted to hang out with you, and so he also introduced himself

"Name's Kakucho, may I know your's, pretty lady?", he was actually quite the charmer (my headcannon)

you smiled, his heart pounded, and you said your name as well

still, you asked him about his scar, which was...very visible

"Ah, just a little accident!"

"Really? Poor you ...Oh, it's time for me to go, it was nice hanging out with you! See you soon!"

and with that, you left.

like Izana, Kakucho felt the strong need to look after you.

I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't want to protect a pretty girl like you?

Kakucho also hoped that he'd have a chance with you, but we'll come to that later

Safe to say, you two saw each other very soon

some nameless delinquents were cornering you and you had no other choice but to scream

Out of curiosity, Izana's "brother", looked at the source

and he saw red.

you were holding your purse close to your chest and pressed yourself against the wall, and in front of you were three guys with knifes in their hands

"give us you-" *CRUNCH*

the first one fell down, two more to go

You stared at the body on the ground, he must've given the guy a concussion

then you looked at your savior, who just punched the other two away and came to you

"Are you alright, ____?" "Yeah, I'm fine. But you didn't have to beat them up like that. but...but still, thank you."

he smiled and blushed and felt so happy that he saved you

"It was no big deal, but hey-; what were you doing at this hour? It's already past six!"

"I had to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. um, would you like to accompany me? I don't want to get attacked again, you know? I mean, if you're free at the moment...!"

Could this day get any better?

"Sure! You know where he lives?"

"Yup!"

and so, you two talked and laughed along the way here.

the topics lead to religion, and how you loved doing your prayers, spending money for charities, to your ideal type of husband,...somehow

"...and, well, my husband has to be a muslim as well!"

"Really? So...uh, if we're speaking of a friend, and he really likes that girl, but she is muslim, but they are close friends, and the guy thinks he has a chance with her...then...should he just-- convert to Islam?"

You felt your cheeks heat up. Why? guess we'll never know

"Uh, yeah! Y-yeah, sure! But! I-it shouldn't be taken lightly! Fulfilling the five prayers is not easy, or reading the Quran, or learning arabic, or doing your best at all times. Of course, the religion is beautiful and makes a better human out of you, but it is not to be taken lightly, and shouldn't be accepted because out of love to a person, but to Allah.

He created us after all. And the only thing he wants from us is to believe in him, to look for him when times get rough, to search assurements from him when you do not feel well, to thank him for having such a life as yours, even if it's bad. It could always get worse, so always be grateful for your creator."

Kakucho then started thinking more of the religion than of you

mans never had such a peaceful feeling when he was listening to podcasts of converted muslims and men or sheikhs talking about things that can or shouldn't be done

Kakucho thought that he'd never see heaven, but he prayed

"dear god, sorry for only talking to you now, but there's this girl I like-no, I love her! And well, it's kinda stupid of me to say this, because you know, 'cuz you created us and shit, but...could you maybe bring us together? I'll also try my best in becoming a muslim!"

He just hopes his prayers were heard

Eid-Adha came and you were busy as heck

you didn't have time to pick up kakucho's phone (let's imagine they have phones in that timeline) because of making all the food and cleaning up the house

boy did he get worried

he was already by your door and ready to know when his phone rang

it was you

he didn't even let it ring the second time and picked up the call

"Y-yeah?"

"Kakucho? Are you alright? Why did you call me so often? Did something happen?"

Again, he relished the fact that you were worried about him

"Ah, it's nothing, I was just asking you if you'd like to hang out with me today?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm still preparing the food for our holiday!"

"Oh! I'm sorry! I totally forgot about it-"

"Hey boy, stop standing in the way!", a male interrupted

the man was carrying a cut sheep

Kakucho thought about punching the man but started helping him when he remembered in front of who's house he stood

'if that guy is her father, then I have to leave the best first impressions!'

Kakucho. You were still in your gang uniform. YOU HAVE A SCAR ON YOUR FACE.

But the man didn't let a single emotion be noticed than hard work and fatigue, so he didn't really fight the delinquent who shockingly offered his help in a sweet tone and nice smile

"Dad, you're late- Kakucho?!", you yelped.

"You two know each other?", your mother chimed in as she examined the boy who was now standing with the cut sheep, your father let himself fall on a leathered chair

"Yeah, he's the one who saved me from the bad guys!"

'YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT ME?!?!?'

his day couldn't get any better

"Hello, my name is Kakucho, and I'm glad I could help, I'll be taking my leave now-"

"Stay."

Kakucho and you looked at your dad with surprised faces

"Who'll help me cut it into smaller pieces? My wife is tired and my daughter is not strong enough"

of course you objected because well, you're a girlboss/feminist

but eh

let the men do something for a change

and that's how kakucho ended up laughing at your parents stories of you being the clumsiest baby they had, with you dying out of embarrassment of course

your dad took him out for a moment

"Do you like me daughter?"

"Y-yes sir."

"You know that you have to be a muslim to marry her, right?"

"Yes sir."

"Tomorrow. 1. at this address, and don't you dare come late."

It was the address to a mosque

what could happen next?

Ran Haitani

That twisted mf

he actually couldn't have cared less about who you were

he actually was just strolling around Roppongi, looking for trouble to deal with

then he saw you

sweet, in your own little world, happily walking your way

bro nah

of course he followed you and made himself known

"Oh, hello? can I help you?"

"Yeah, uh...tell me. What's a sweet little thing like you doing here? And all alone?"

Please I'd punch that guy

"Well, I just had to do my groceries, and I just can't seem to find this store...do you know where it is? It's one of the only stores here that sell halal food"

he didn't know what halal meant but he'd for sure ask you later

And of course he knew every single shop here

he and Rindou owned Roppongi after all

when I tell you that he's been through the five stages of confusion

1. staring at the name, then the shop

2. then smiling reassuringly at you

3. looking at the shop's name again with a frown this time

4. calling one of his allies

5. telling you the truth

you being down, him feeling unwell

ran could've been a little dissappointed in himself for not knowing that shop, but oh well

"according to google maps, I should cross this road!"

'she has a phone? It looks rather new too-'

"Aw, man...there's so much traffic...how am I going to cross it?"

this 'gentleman' told you to follow him

all the damn cars stopped

you were shocked but also happy

ran's pride flared up

and you guys actually made it to the shop

this is the second part of five stages of confusion

1. why is there a different smell in every direction he breathes?

2. why is there such a wide variety of tea??

3. why are there sausages, onions and fish hanging from the ceiling?

4. why was there a cat on the cash register?

5. what did you need from here?

an elder man came to view and you bowed politely

ran felt somewhat out of place when you talked to the grandpa in a foreign language

the man studied your paper and put everything you needed in a bag

then he said something which made you mad

you quickly fished out your money and slammed it on the counter

the man yelled something

you yelled something

you pushed ran out of the shop

you ran out

but not before petting the sweet cat, which purred in return

and you sighed angrily

"uhm...what was that??"

"he didn't want to accept the money."

"so? good for you."

"wha- no! I was the first customer there. He had this shop only opened recently. and I felt pity on him, so I gave him thrice from the actual price I had to pay."

"why?"

"Because that's what people from my family do!"

He didn't understand you

but he wanted to get to know you more

so he tried to accompany you as much as possible

and well, you two became friends

and you talked about your religion a lot

ran liked that about you

that you were a kind young lady, who only wanted the best for everybody

but he froze when you once spilled the tea about one od your cousins from your dad's side

"and she wants to marry an American, I mean, can you believe it?!"

"wait, what's so special about it? I mean, if she loves him, then...you know...?"

"Yes, but he is not muslim. And he doesn't want to convert to Islam. That's the problem."

"...I don't- I don't understand-"

"A muslim woman has to marry a muslim man. This is tradition and religion."

"Oh.", that's when he froze.

Ran also came to terms that he really liked you from that moment.

Like, he really really liked you.

that...that might be a problem.

"So...marriages between a muslim woman and a non-muslim man are not allowed?"

"Nope."

"And what about you? would you marry a non-muslim man?"

And you laughed. Was this a joke to you?

"Why would I marry a non-muslim man? I don't need a person who hasn't got the same beliefs as I do. Also, I don't need a man even half as much as I need Allah, Ran."

'Huh'

Guess he'll convert to Islam then.

Yuzuha Shiba

This precious baby girl

She actually knew you from Emma and Hina (let's pretend they know each other)

she loves how modest you dress and how mature you act

she loves how you can cook sweet oriental food and also tell the craziest stories which you had with your cousins

this girl

however

doesn't get

why you don't have a boyfriend yet

like

the first option would be her brother, because Yuzuha thinks that you would be the best wife for him

and uh, well, she doesn't really know anybody else

but

she doesn't like that you have to marry a muslim guy

like c'mon

"why can't you just marry Hakkai, ____?"

"Aren't you christians? And Hakkai always freezes up when I'm near-"

"sheesh, he'll get over it. And he can convert."

"Yuzuha, no. I don't want him to accept another religion because of a girl. He has to accept it himself. and why are you so mad about the fact that I have to marry a muslim? I wouldn't want to marry any of these guys here. every single boy in our age is a delinquent."

"But...does that mean that you'll go back to your country? What if we never see each other again?"

"....Are you guilt-tripping me right now?"

"...is it working?"

You two cried after a few seconds while hugging each other

your precious holiday came near where you sadly had to kill one of your goats

you didn't kill, your father and his friends, but still

you cried when you saw the head

you wanted to irk your bestie out

"look what they did to him...!", you said over the phone.

"What do you- EEEEEWWWW, ____! Why'd you show me that?! Euehzfg....Heuvghghg, I think I'm gonna puke-"

You heard puking sounds and you gagged as well, but you also chuckled.

"I c r i e d when I saw the head. I don't wanna suffer alone, love."

"But why me though?!"

"Cuz you're my bestieeeee <3"

please just pretend they all have phones.

"Also do you wanna eat? I made food. It's our holiday after all!!!"

of course she came over

But she was mad surprised when she saw the amount of food there

she's never seen so different looking stuff

she wanted to eat something from every plate

and she did

little by little

you two gained at least two pounds

you two were not happy

but full.

and that's all that matters. :D

---

guys I wrote stuff that might not suit your expectations or what is not correct, because again, it is all from the knowledge my muslim friend gave me.

but also please feel free to correct me if I made a mistake!

[zaacoy]

It's 3 am!! You know what that means!!! Delusional tang posting time let's gooo yippee!!!!!!

Said I'd dump S4 Tang thoughts here a week ago and then I just kinda. didn't. oopsies, but I can start now!!

S4 Spoilers below the cut, you have been warned!!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE OF SORTS AFTER WRITING THIS: WOW IS THIS LONG. I got a little too silly and put too many thoughts down at once oops, prepare to be reading for a good minute you have been warned (twice!!) aughdhsj

My thoughts are so disorganized rn prepare for a rollercoaster of whatever my brain spits out!!

First. Ep 4 intro.

Good to see that Tang still can never have a nice landing unlike everybody else

THE CROCODILE??????? HELLOSNBD?!?

MF GETS BODY SLAMMED?????

THIS SCREAM????? He gets to scream for like, 2. SECONDS. BEFORE HE GETS?? DRAGGED RIGHT BACK INTO THE WATER????

ALL OF THE SCREAMINGSG??? THE BASS???? THE FUCKING GUITAR????????

I can't. I cannot. convey in words how incredibly funny this scene is to me. I can't sit through it and not laugh or start kicking my feet it's just THAT good. They had Z E R O business doing this to him, this scene had absolutely NO REASON to be THIS chaotic but they?? did it anyway????? jgkngm???? I love this show sm

He's so pretty in this specific lighting I need to draw him like this soon or I will explode wowowee

HE DEFLATED. SO FAST.

That's such a funny reaction, no more energy just. Whatever. Eat me I guess I don't care just start cooking so pigsy can come back please. He is so funny

weapon. just straight up bonk him into a demon like a plank of wood

Actually now that I think about it why? Did nobody untie him??? they found him and just left him like that?? Neither of them ever untied him if memory serves I'm pretty sure pigsy did it while he was cooking. ???

"To get crammin' APPARENTLY! HMPF!"

"Oh, haha! I'M the dinner! Excellent."

Good to see Tang's sass and saltiness never leaves, they should let him be sarcastic and talk back more often

Done with all of your bs glares at you glares at you glares at you glares at y

What comes around goes around!!! Their dynamic is fun wahoo

He noms very happily!!! omnomnom (he deserves it at this point mans DESPERATELY needs a break)

THEY DID NOT HAVE TO CALL HIM OIT LIKE THAT DHDHJS PLEASE????? JAJJS The little sad noises he makes as he gets torn into, little guy behavior tbh

"-stop gorging yourself on our rations!" "I'm sorry! It's just I'm stressed okay!?"

STRESS-EATER CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!! YOU AND ME BOTH BUDDY. No wonder he married a cook, wonder if in college everytime Tang was mega stressed about finals or a big deadline coming up (the latter could be true later when he's out of college and had a job too) if pigsy, assuming he had the time, would just make a meal for him. They probably wouldn't be able to spend much time together in that situation so making him something when he knows Tang is stressed seems like a realistic thing for Pigsy to do in order to subtly show he's there for support when need be. Tang pays that kindness forward by actually paying his tab for once coughs

"HEY! I so to am perfect!" (S1)

"hmmmm, if I wasn't so cool and relaxed all the time I'd be reeeeeally worried about the consequences of this" (S1)

"I know my issue is my self confidence" (S4)

(Can't find a way to make it a gif) Tang: so ""relaxed"" in his current situation that he is shaking hard enough to vibrate in place, coupled with the look of completely calm and collected and ""coolness"". (S4)

Does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night chan- gets shot

ACTUALLY THo S4 fleshed him out as a character so much, especially when we compare him to how he started all the way back in S1. Beforehand in earlier seasons everything was mostly stable for him. Same places, same people, consistent comfort, it gave him some sense of security that could have made his "calm and relaxed" demeanor viable back then. But now that everythings been thrown up and ruined by powers out of Tang's control, his bubble of safety no longer stands. We begin to see it in season 3 with lady bone demon's attacks + macaque's continued interference. Tang seems a lot more on edge near the latter half of season 3 then he had been all of the rest of the show and there's definitely WAY more panic present as one bad thing after another unfolds, notably when he is quite literally moved to tears as he's forced to forge the samadhi fire. It does kind of consistently crop up during other prior conflicts too but much more mildly and on a more temporary scale. Now, seemingly not long after the lbd incident as mk evidently still hasn't pushed past lbd all that well, his entire framework of stability is practically smashed into pieces. He's stuck in a scroll, he loses track of all of his friends for a while, there is no comfortable safe space for him anymore(a book can probably only realistically tell you so much about a setting, probably not enough to evoke the same familiarity that his house or pigsy's shop does), he literally almost gets eaten, there's ANOTHER massively powerful divine being threatening the safety of his loved ones along with his own, and on top of it all he can't get his powers (which are evidently in DIRE need right now) to work half the time. He had built a dependency on the routine of mundane life beforehand and S4 completely shatters that routine and subsequent stability. It's no wonder why we begin to see him crack, it make sense why we're just now seeing the actual depths of his lack of confidence and his anxiety. This has always been a problem more likely than not, he was able to cope before, or at least hide it, but he can't now. His inability to use his powers properly inevitably worsens the problem. He needs to use his powers but he cant. He needs to be useful, he has to be, but he just can't no matter how long or how hard he tries. Every odd is against him, it's getting to him and it shows. I love how lmk doesn't try to hero-speech it's way out of every character's doubts. I love how they let him break down several times throughout season 4, I love how they let him show emotional weakness not as a plot obstacle that can be ✨✨completely overcome with the power of believing in yourself!! And friends!!! And flashy magic!!! Yayyyyy!!!✨✨ but as a fundamental part of Tang that he just has to work around and deal with it. They obviously can't get too in depth into it (and probably never will) because a. This is a kid show made by Lego, and b. Because he's, y'know, not the main character, but the attention they did bring to it is nice.

I have. Accidently written a paragraph. Oops. uhhhh tldr: They did a good job portraying Tang's internal struggles through S4 while not invalidating his character and behavior from previous seasons. When you kick the rug out from someone's feet and then throw them off a 400ft cliff into a pit full of spikes they're going to be at least a little bit terrified out of their mind and are probably going to understandably show weakness somewhere along the way, I'm glad Lego takes a moment to explore that with Tang at least a little bit.

OKAY!! MOVING ON!!! SORRY ABOUT THAT GHFJJ

Mentioned this earlier on twt but the death grip he maintains on his staff when he gets really scared is a nice touch. He has a history throughout all 4 seasons of latching onto objects or people when he's distressed, a small but fun character detail!

LOOK AT HIM. GIVE HIM A BREAK HE HAS EARNED IT AND HE NEEDS IT PLEEEASDE IM BEGGING SOBS FORERVRRHRHNM

"ahh I'm sorry I'm just- I'm having a melt down and I have no idea what's going on and I just-!"

In line with what I ranted on about for an entire essay earlier- explicit mention of a meltdown! It's quick and short but the fact that they called it a meltdown at all is impressive, this is the first time I can remember a show calling one as such. A meltdown in response to a seeming extended lack of security and a disconnect between Tang and what's going on around him is realistic too, I think at least. The scene right after this when the gang (mostly sandy) does their best to bring Tang back down to earth for a moment was nice, they're such a supportive friend group I love this little found family

DHDJJ???? THIS ENTIRE SCENE WAS GREAT BUT THIS ONE??? WHERE HE JUST GOES ZOOMING THROUGH THE AIR SCREAMMG?? IS HE OKAY?????? HSJH

I HAVE. HIT MY IMAGE LIMIT UMMMM.

I had more to say and I will probably say those later!! For now this is it, it is almost 6 am I should really go to bed augahh

Remember!!!!: live, laugh, tang lego monkie kid. GOODNIGHT!!

[soleillunne]

mutuals appreciation post!! bc i checked my mutuals list the other day and i was like woah

if i didnt tag you here, we havent talked that much so idk what to say but just know i appreciate you nontheless<3

@https-furina : PERSE!!! i don't know how to start this but thank you so much for being in my life. you've been nothing but encouraging since the first time i met you and i love you so much. words cant explain how much i care about you, but i'll find a way to make you know in some way soon hehe

@lucid-lilium : lili my fellow xiao kisser :3 i love talking to you so much you have such a colorful personality and you're so kind and so so so sweet <3 thank you for feeding my angst delusions.

@idyllic-affections : aph my beloved <3333 your works are very nom nom but also youre so sweet and i love brainrotting with you sm bc you never judge me <//3 the friend everyone needs fr fr

@mikacynth : mikaaaaa aaaaa i love your vibe sm you're so cheerful and interacting with you is like taking a deep breath on the first hours of the morning when the air is still cold but you stay out anyway because you dont want to miss the beautiful view <33 mwah mwah

@kisthes : KAZU HI FELLOW TSOA LOVER !!! i love talking with you sm but we've both been so busy lately so i couldnt interact as much as i wanted <//3 i appreciate you sm mwah mwah

@anonbinaryweirdo : OLIIIIII HI OMG the chaos child <3 i love talking to you sm bc you always have sth fun to say and its never boring (not that thats a bad thing but,,, you get what i mean) mwah mwah kisses

@zhongrin : MISS RIN!! i love dropping by in your teashop so much, theres never a dull moment there (be it crazy anons, or events, or anything-) and i love love love seeing you on my dash <3

@floraldresvi : vi, you are so precious!! i know you think otherwise sometimes but thats not true and i will bite anyone that makes you think otherwise >:( you deserve the world mwah

@akiayama : AYA HI HI we became moots not long after i started being into genshin and i remember being so shy to interact with you but you were so kind to me and you still are and i cant thank you enough for being with me through all these times :3

@kopivie : CINNA HI!! you're one of the first mutuals i made here and you're actually the reason i started playing genshin. back when i was trying to write for genshin myself you kept encouraging me so i want to thank you personally for being the reason why i'm here today :3

@i23kazu : ying!! you're so so so kind and talking with you is so fun, i dont even notice the time slip when im chatting with you! i know we dont do it often (which is a crime) but its still lovely to see you on my dash<3

[anarcho-puppy]

hiya! welcome to my blog! i mostly just rb or post for myself soooo... don't expect much in terms of consistency lol.

my pronouns are he/him/his, xe/xem/xers, or it/it's; if you misgender me on purpose, you will be blocked >:P

alive but gay

i rb a lost of fandom stuff (basically just whatever media i'm currently hyperfixating on), but these are my favourite media:

DC (mostly batfam)

BBC Sherlock

Hannibal

ATLA (also kinda TLOK, but not as much)

Good Omens

OFMD

Marvel (debatable, not the new stuff, mostly just AOS)

Sense8

WWDITS

Jesus Christ Superstar (shut up, i’m a theatre kid)

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot (in relation to JCS)

The Dragon Prince

Amulet (i’m allowed to be a kid, okay)

Bluey (…very much allowed to be a kid)

HTTYD

ninjago

probs more, i just have a shit memory lmao

pls pls talk to me about my interests! send me asks!

just spent two hours organizing my blog so that i can actually find stuff... so here's a guide:

#puppy barks = og text posts, rants, etc. (basically just everything other than rbs, except threads i’ve added to and wanted to save)

#anarcho puppy (duh) = anarchist and an-com shit

#geo nerd puppy = history-related stuff (one of my SPINs)

#pub trans puppy = public transit-related stuff (another SPIN)

#puppy puppy = feral (sometimes) dog boy me

#poet puppy = started out as poetry but now it’s basically just me writing things

#arty puppy = my art and art rbs

#disabled puppy = disability stuff

#neurodivergent puppy = autism/ADHD shit

#nom nom puppy = baking/cooking/food stuff

#conlang puppy = conlang shit

#little puppy = agere/little me stuff

#faggot shit = uhm uhhhhh… yeah…

#mutual aid/gofundme = self explanatory (please donate or reblog!)

#my polls = polls (obviously /s)

#me = pics of me

#ask = my asks

#hehe = ...yeah i'm not doing so hot (memory loss, trauma, etc.)

#dc = self explanatory (#B, #NW, #RH, #RR, #R, #O, #steph, #cass, #duke, #alfred, #clark, #kon, #jon, #talia, #bernard)

#hozier = my MAN

#atla = avatar the last airbender (and spin-offs)

#sherlock = self explanatory

#tdp = the dragon prince

#hannibal = self explanatory

#go = good omens

#ninjago = self explanatory

#sense8 = self explanatory

#assortment of religious hyperfixations = jesus christ superstar, the last days of judas iscariot, etc.

#i’m gonna be a lawyer bitch = my latest hyperfixation; law, specifically landlord and tenant rights and responsibilities (an actually practical hyperfixation?? crazy… /s)

#covid safety = self explanatory and also really important

#L = iykyk

shut up, i know that there’s a shit tons of tags but it’s not for you; i don’t expect y’all to need a tagging system bc you’re probably not doing a deep dive on my blog, but i need to be able to find things, hence the excessive tagging system :)

DNI LIST:

zionist

racist

sexist

homophobic

transphobic

antisemetic

islamophobic

pedophile/"MAP"

self-described liberal

anti-communist

biden supporter

radqueers

transids/whatever the fuck you’re calling yourselves

etc.

yes, i know that dni lists won’t stop dirty, disgusting people from interacting, but it makes me feel better when i set clear boundaries.

and remember kids, i block LIBERALLY >:P

[fuckyeahfightlock]

Today's scary movie was the last 4 episodes of The Fall of the House of Usher.

Nothing else in the Flanaverse is as good as The Haunting of Hill House, and this continues that streak. I'm not mad at it; Hill House is a fucking masterpiece. But this series did not send me and I will probably not rewatch it. Also not to be That Guy but at some points I just thought there was too much swearing??? Like in a lazy writing sense. When you're using a lot of Poe's language in the thing, sometimes "fuck" just doesn't hit that hard; it just sounds anachronistic and it's not the strongest choice.

I can't believe I forgot to just point out in my other post, Mark Hammill is in this.

The whole thing continued to be pretty solid, enjoyable, weird, and scary--towards the end I was like, this is a EAPoe/Black Mirror crossover fic and I'm OK with it. Carla Gugino is so versatile, she will definitely get award noms for this series. Loved that in the final ep she was dressed like Death of the Endless (in the comics).

I loved the ties-it-all-together conceit that makes an 8 hour movie of the collected works of Poe: that the Usher family are basically the Sacklers, and get what's coming to them. I fervently believe the Sackler family should be forced to live on the streets in neighborhoods like Kensington, Philadelphia, for the rest of their lives so that they can be made to face what they have done to the world, and relish a fantasy where they die one by one in horrible, supernatural ways based on Poe stories. Good, great, love that journey for this House of Usher. HOWEVER.

(spoilers for the ending of final episode)

The last act of this whole shebang gets so mired in preaching to the choir on "liberal" "politics" all of a sudden--then pours on top of that, "And because these people died, all domestic violence AND the opioid crisis will end" like. . .I did not need that. I did not buy it. It felt cheap and annoyed me because even in a magical realism world where handshake deals with the actual Devil are possible, both of those are so clearly out of reach it took me right out of the thing. Let it be that the bad people are destroyed, that's satisfying as is. I don't need the whole world to be healed. I'm not a baby.

[delicateartisantrash]

aaaaAAAA: Author Struggle Bus

(If you don't want to see my personal posts, my tag for these is "#dat rambles")

Not me pulling at my hair smacking my forehead on the desk because I am well into the next chapters of Gladiators of Kaon; and I am unsure if my representations of the Precious Beans are accurate enough because confession I haven't actually watched all of G1 yet I've seen like 1 episode and a half and then I got distracted writing fanfiction and reading o o p s but the story floooooows

(author ramblings continue after the cut)

and now here I am with many chapters and it's adorable and I love it but also p a n i c because it's my first time writing them. I hope ya'll don't have specific expectations for characters because OPE I SORRY I AM JUST WRITING WHAT I SEE. And reading a lot of wiki pages. (Whoever does the captiosn for images on that site, oh my goodness, they are SO WITTY. I LOVE IT. Sarcasm, puns, sattire, my sides are hurting from how much i've laughed while reading up on transformers i've never actually heard of or met before and researching lore ideas to yoink for the world building of this story's universe and setting)

I have read a stupid amount of wiki pages.

still though

it's like

my favorite chapter rn because ADORABLE SPARKLINGS UGH EEEEEEE and it's so friggin' cute I can't stand it (comfy chair and blanket acquired, one parrot loose and one happily eating noms \o/). I hope it goes over well but if not oh well

writing Soundwave when he's not in Perfect Composure Mode is an entertaining and endearing experience.

[lascapigliata]

am now well over halfway through my oscars challenge based on my own secret formula (aka guesstimating) so here is my ongoing microreviews post, for those curious

for some reason when i started writing i did this in order of # of nominees. don’t ask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oppenheimer: way too long. even cillian murphy, who was great, cannot sustain 3 hours of biopic. i felt his character development was unearned and rushed. the acting was good all around (though it was so man heavy that i sort of forgot emily blunt was there, surprising that she got that nomination when may december is RIGHT there) and it was gorgeously shot but it just needed a solid edit both in writing and runtime. one of those movies that made me feel stupid bc everyone else liked it. to the tune of 13 noms :/ (i have been told by many that you need to see it in a theater. well then don't release it for home viewing i guess, sorry!) (edit - having watched maestro rustin and napoleon 👎 three mid to bad biopics - this has warmed in my memory)

poor things: mixed feelings. overhyped doesn’t cover it. beautiful to look at. great acting from everyone including emma stone and mark ruffalo who is having simply the time of his life. it’s very funny which i wasn’t expecting! but it felt all a little too affected, a little too Intentionally Weird. idk i really wanted to love it but it was just sort of like okay! watched that! ✅

killers of the flower moon: enjoyed it a lot. i thought lily gladstone was amaaaaazing - their role had potential to just be like melodrama and one-note but they brought so much depth to it. leonardo was fine but of the white people deniro was the standout. too long of course. i alternately remember it as better or worse than it felt in the moment, but even though i wasn't in a theater it was still a good time

barbie: my brother loved this and i thought it was okay. the first half in barbieland and her first fish out of water scenes in the real world were a ton of fun, and it sort of got boring-er from there. visually very clever and fun. but the politics were hollow. relationship between america ferrera’s character and her daughter was unconvincing. the last scene pissed me off so much bc it was just totally unnecessary- should have (spoiler) ended with her putting her heels down and the audience can infer the rest be saved 5 minutes of runtime. (you’ll be shocked to hear i thought this was too long)

maestro: awful. manages to flatten felicia bernstein and somehow doesn’t replace that missing character with anything of substance. neglects to focus on what made bernstein actually interesting by putting basic stock biopic oscar bait scenes together and forgetting about his actual life and accomplishments. i went in knowing i wouldn’t like it but hoping there’d be redeeming qualities and found nearly none. even the best scene - his conducting the mahler resurrection symphony - pales in comparison to just finding the real video of bernstein conducting which is available for free on youtube.

american fiction: great. in theaters so no concept of length but it didn’t drag too much. jeffrey wright did an AMAZING job - so funny and also so grounded. made me cry early on too which i was Not expecting lol. definitely some 😬 moments for me as a white woman but i think that’s healthy for us once in a while. as a side note it was oddly preceded by 15 min of horror movie trailers which was bizarre

anatomy of a fall: LOOVED IT. broadchurch vibes. watched it with a friend who’s a lawyer so we kept pausing to theorize bc it is a great movie for that and she also provided commentary on the courtroom techniques of the lawyers lol. was also thinking about it hours and hours later. such a good film. even understood some of the french lol. big warning for pet illness though - the dog survives but it was not fun

the holdovers: nothing revolutionary but such a sweet little movie. not a huge amount to say about it - watched it on a plane and that was kind of the perfect vibe. i did think that da’vine joy randolph did a fantastic job. a good time. idk that it’s Best Picture worthy but who even knows what that award means

the zone of interest: technically impressive on every level (yes, including sound, which it should win) but i didn’t love it. i guess it’s just that i feel like “look! the mundanity of evil!” was not enough to carry this - it is SO mundane and SO jarring that halfway through i kept just being like “yeah yeah i get it” which itself is ironically kind of normalization but not the way the film intended. but i do think this is more a personal preference issue than actual issues with the movie.

napoleon: quite bad. boring, unfocused. couldn’t decide if it was about the marriage or his ambition and yet didn’t give josephine a character nor made thrilling battle sequences. unfortunately all i will remember is how they randomly used pride and prejudice’s soundtrack out of the blue (indicative of its equally unfocused score), and how joaquin phoenix had an american accent while everyone around him didn’t. also… too long!

the creator: pretty good! not a particularly innovative story but honestly it’s nice to see a good movie done right. hans zimmer rare W these days. john david washington still isn’t the greatest actor but it’s no big when ken watanabe is right there. the vfx are indeed very good. it even tackled western imperialism ok i thought though i obviously welcome discussion here!

past lives: beautiful touching etc. not an easy watch but i loved it. sort of found a great melancholy middle ground that didn’t feel maudlin but certainly wasn’t very happy. unbelievably that greta lee received no nomination for her phenomenal work (or teo yoo or john magaro for that matter). great length too - a perfect 1h45. just well done all around

society of the snow: great little disaster movie if slightly uneven. gorgeously shot for one thing. the tension is well done though i think it ended too… tidily. the fundamental problem i have tho is that if i was in their situation i’d have no qualms about eating people but that’s not the movie’s fault. the music reminded me of giacchino so i couldn’t help but make lost comparisons but that's also not the movie's fault lol. (edit: the music is literally BY giacchino and i thought i'd looked it up. it's a good score! he knows what he's doing!)

may december: LOVED IT!!! fantastic length, fantastic acting. as the great harry styles said it’s nice to see a movie that’s a real movie. i can’t wait to watch this again, i thought the writing was fantastic and it’ll gain a lot on rewatch too. would have loved more focus on the relationship with the kids, but that’s just because i personally found it fascinating. annoying it was only nommed for best screenplay when the acting was so good - yes especially charles melton!!

rustin: not as good as i wanted it to be. all the acting is fantastic especially (unsurprising) colman domingo, but i agree with reviews that said it avoided some of his more radical politics and that the love triangle was not super well executed, and i personally thought the end felt super rushed. it was just too biopic-y. but there was a lot to recommend it anyway just on acting alone though honestly

the color purple: enjoyed it a lot! never saw the original movie but it def smoothed away some stuff from the book in a way that doesn’t surprise me at all but was still too bad. there were clearly songs cut from the show bc there was a huge chunk in the middle with no singing lol. the acting was universally good but i cannot lie danielle brooks stole the show every second she was on screen. the music itself was great too and i think the director really dug into the musicalness of it which is so necessary in something like this. (end credits were particularly good!)

across the spiderverse: what is there to say about this that hasn’t been said. the first movie was much tighter in terms of plot / writing. the politics of this one were sort of a mess. but the animation was so spectacular that it sort of sanded over the flaws i saw in it in my memory and i'd be happy if it won

the boy and the heron: a lovely movie. miyazaki hasn’t lost it. i’d love for this to win best animated as i suspect it will. beautiful visually, very like pan’s labyrinth vibe plot wise. hard to say a lot here bc it was just very good, very solid. + miyazaki simply loves an old wrinkly lady and you know what i think that’s great. deserved a nom for score over fuckin indiana jones for sure

robot dreams: i wanted to adore this but instead i just liked it. it was beautiful and sweet and a nice love letter to new york and everything but i hated the ending lol. it’s a huge swing though with no dialogue and only one real song and you gotta give them points for that! plus it is genuinely sweet and everything. i just was pissed at the literal last scene lol

elemental: better than i expected it to be but still basically eh. some of the technical work is SO impressive - like the non-anthropomorphic water - that it actually highlights how Animated the characters are. but i don’t regret watching. highly recommend doing so stoned if that’s your jam because the animation really is the cool part - pixar’s stories have rly become very templated and boring

nimona: iirc a fun movie, but nothing like jaw dropping. can't evaluate it objectively though bc it wasn't the book and the book was better, unsurprisingly. i watched it a long time ago, it didn't leave a huge impression; i remember it was a cute adaptation. mainly i don't think nimona surpassed suzume (and pixar was always going to get that nomination no matter what), so mostly i'm bitter that suzume wasn't nominated sorry

dial of destiny: fell asleep the first time i watched it, got distracted the second time. it was... fine? the deaging was AWFUL, i'm glad it did not get a makeup or vfx nom, it literally just looked like a videogame and it still SOUNDED like 70yo harrison ford. the score was fine but the same thing john williams has been doing for this franchise since 1981. just like… an unnecessary movie idk

[practically-an-x-man]

1 (Desert Song), 2, 3, 8, 11, 14, 23, 29 for the fic asks :)

Thank you so much!!! I'll try to make my answers somewhat brief since it's late and I need to get to bed

1. Share a song that makes you think of [Desert Song]

I mean, the title IS a song (a very heartbreaking bonus release by MCR), and I do have a whole list of songs compiled for use in future chapters so I kinda want to save those for when they appear in the fic itself, but there's one song that reminds me of them but doesn't really fit the rest of the punk theme

Pruning Shears by the Amazing Devil

It's a wonderful song and tells the story of a future couple meeting at a party, the interactions between the two of them already remind me a bit of Billy and Quinn's dynamic, but there's one stanza that really strikes me (and would've been the choice lyrics for the fic chapter, if the song fit the theme)

And I'll watch her ruin her life and dye her hair bright colors Become someone's wife Forget the girl that she once was

It just strikes me as very very *Quinn*, and I'd love to include the song if it fit with the tone of the overall fic. I mean, I'm a punk and I love the Amazing Devil, but it's not exactly punk music itself

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

All the time! I write the stories I want to see, and I love rereading them from time to time

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ugh, that's so tough because they all serve different purposes. Like, Smoke and Mirrors I love for its character development, Bolts and Blasters I love for its slowburn, A Love Once New is my self-indulgent rainy-day fic, Desert Song I love for its complex relationships and intra/interpersonal themes, the list goes on. I love them each in their own way, and I genuinely can't pick a favorite.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Uh.... a lot. But most recently I've been working on new chapters for Taking Flight (still hyperfixated lol) and Heartstrings, with A Love Once New waiting in the wings (pun intended lol)

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

Not really, I tend to get distracted if I write to music. I do have a playlist for my Sandman character Prometheus here, and my fics kinda end up being playlists themselves since I incorporate so much music into them, but I don't generally create a lot of playlists.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

I'm actually gonna go with Desert Song. I tried/am actively trying to emulate the fast-paced action style of 6 Underground, and given the movie never got a sequel I'd pick this one to fill that void. The same goes for my other 6 Underground fic, Nom de Guerre - Desert Song is the better-written fic by far, but I think Nom De Guerre might have more visual elements that would adapt well to film.

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

I tend to lay out a brief outline for my chapters so I know where to go, but I kinda just go off of general feel for the length itself. The only limitations I place on myself are that it must be over 2k words (which is easy to achieve now) and it must end in a good narrative way (since idk when I would next be able to update and I don't want to leave people unsatisfied).

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Sure thing! Here's a snippet from a Wednesday fic that I scrapped after the controversy with Percy Hynes White. I still like the idea (in fact, I'm hybridizing the OC into a future fic with Michael Langdon instead), but I don't want to engage with any of the controversy regardless of its legal outcome.

“Calypso, that’s Greek, right?” Her Mona Lisa smile widened into something genuine, a blend of pure happiness and mild surprise. The distance in her expression vanished almost instantly. She wasn’t great at hiding her emotions. Everything showed on her face, as candidly as if it were written across her forehead. He found it endearing. “Right.” she agreed, “Greek mythology. She was the daughter of Atlas, the titan, and she was imprisoned on a hidden island that adventurers could only find once.” Then, as if it burst out of her in a flash of inspiration, “But I think I’m more like Hephaestus.” “Why’s that?” “He was the outcast of the gods. Cast aside because he was ugly. And he worked the forges.” She stared down at her own hands, and he remembered the illustrated gleam of the knife in his painting. “I work in the forges. Sort of.” Another of his questions answered, then. But that wasn’t what he was focused on. And he had a habit of speaking before his brain caught up. “You think you’re ugly?” Her gray eyes flashed back up to his own, emotion flitting across her face in an uncertain wave. She still couldn’t hide it, but that didn’t mean Xavier could read it. He wasn’t sure what to think, other than that she was clearly very, very lonely. And maybe didn’t even realize it. “I think I’m an outcast.” she finally answered, very carefully.  Maybe she did realize it, after all.

thank you so much for asking!! these were fun!!

Fanfic Writer Asks

[dingbatnix]

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

Lots because you said you were board <3

O my I'm gonna have to put this in a Google doc xD

1.) Not that I can particularly think of, no. The only instance there might be is a big cliffhanger for my fic Venture, I think.

2.) I'd say Venture or Imprisoned. (I should prolly link these, huh) Venture, because it's so long and I've got so many things happening in it, Imprisoned because of how many times Sap lashes out and fights back, and subsequently gets beat back down.

3.) Absolutely yes I do! I listen to music when I do everything! My current top four songs are Aura by GHOST, Rest Employed by the Stupendium, The End of The Line by the Stupendium, and Iron Lung by the Stupendium. Very good listens, I highly recommend them! (Remind me to put links)

4.) Just Google Docs

5.) Not particularly, just whenever motivation decides to hit me.

6.) I've always wanted to be a writer since I was a little kid, but what seriously got me started was the indie game Ib, where I was like, 'i can make g/t of that's and started typing away. That was several years ago tho, and the fic still hasn't seen the light of day cause my older writing is so bad. It needs to go through some heavy editing before I let it out.

7.) I have an Eddsworld nom fic i'm almost done with. I've been hanging on to it since I ditched my eddsworld blog (sadness) cause I wasn't willing to let the fic go. Another one I wanna talk about is a (still unnamed) XD fic. It's inspired by I think one of jknight's fics. It's got Sap and Dream and XD and it's sorta almost done.

8.) Sapnap, definitely. I like unhinged characters, and I like characters that can be calm headed in bad situations. The guy can be both!

9.) A snippet, you say…? How about this one? It's a bit of a continuation to Bees, when the Dream team are better acquaintances and George and Dream actually start to hang out with Sapnap.

"You've got–you've got five eyes?" Sapnap’s eyebrows creased, and he cocked his head at the hybrid.

Dream laughed and raised a hand to push up his fringe of hair. Indeed, there was a tiny, vertical fifth eye slitted in the middle of his forehead.

"Yep, but I don't use it much. My two main eyes do the same as the fifth.”

10.) I don't believe so? There is a thing I like to do, tho, cause I think it's funny. If I mess up the tag 'reblog' and misspell it like 'renlog' or 'reblig' I like to add fuck immediately after : D

Ty for the asks!!!

[annabtg]

hi!! Good to see your playing

4, 10 & eleven please

Hiii! ❤️

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

I'm only actively working on Nom De Plume! I've got several other stalled projects but nothing that's tempting enough to take me away from it.

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

My Best Friend's Girl did much better than I was expecting! I posted it like "I know you guys are here for Jily but I promise you it's good!" and thinking that very few people would actually read it - and instead it's my most viewed and commented fic, only second to my multichapter! And I've got a lot of comments from Jily fans telling me that "normally I don't like to see Jily paired with other people but I really enjoyed this one" which makes me so proud!!

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

No, I don't! I don't write with music. Maybe I put on some music when I'm at work, and then a lull comes and I decide to spend it writing - but I'm not even paying attention to the music, if I even decide to let it play (if it's not anything too noisy/distracting). Honestly, I focus better in silence. Plus, I don't make a habit of making playlists.

Fanfic writer asks here!

[dick-helmet-magneto]

3,6-10, 12-22, 24-25

Let the violence commence!

to start with I was like what is violence about this? Now I see Also, going to go with x-men. there are other fandoms that I was mentally thinking about for some of these but i don't want to actually be murdered also, AHHHHH still enjoy asks so much

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Charles dies before Erik of alcohol poisioning. Like there's not comics and movies where he dies of literally everything else first. The man dies at least once a day.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

It's cherik shippers. It's us, let's be honest, I'm sure it is. What other ships are out there?

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Logan. I don't know everyone is like FUCK MAGNETO LOGAN IS THE MEOW MEOW MURDER ERIK and it's like...excuse you. I want to see them fight this out themselves. I mean Erik would win but still.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Charles is a night owl, Erik is up before the sun every morning. I've seen so much of people flipping it or saying Charles is somehow both. I'm sure the telepath doesn't get much sleep but Erik? He doesn't either. Charles just stays up late trying to tire himself out enough to sleep and Erik sleeps until he can't and then he's up and out of bed and it's like 4am.

9. worst part of canon

MOIRA FUCKING MACTAGGART. I was going to say the lack of cherik but i think we've been given that.

10. worst part of fanon

I can't really think of anything. I mean there's the constant nom-powered au that leaves me wondering what Erik's problem is then but it's nothing I have that much of an issue with. More just curious

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I suppose Erik doesn't count? It seems like most of the general population is convinced he's just an evil villain and dislike him. Charles? I mean people seem to have the right ideas. They like Pietro and I'll take that.

13. worst blorboficiation

Going back to logan about this one

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

A negative thing? positive? something I just noticed? no beach divorce. I see that a lot.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I don't actually see that much fan art. I don't know? Cherik kissing? That seems to be most of what I see

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

The fics based in canon where Charles can just suddenly walk and is fully able-bodied. Like if he's using a cane or walker or something sure, all for that but like post-apocalypse and he's walking or they're on Genosha and it's magic.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Misunderstandings, secret relationships, and insecurity are all tags I start ao3 for almost daily

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Still want more dofp fics where Erik is there as Charles's powers return and sees the pain he seems to be in. Or fics dealing with Erik's mental state after solitary. I can't write them all by myself. Someone help me.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

mpreg is coming to mind. the idea of Charles and Erik having a biological child? Charles pregnant during Cuba and getting Erik to come back that way? OR Erik leaving, realizing he's pregnant, and then coming back to Charles to protect their child? YES

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

Jean Grey.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Honestly, not to keep bringing it up, but still haven't seen the Logan movies

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

It's the little things. Erik saving Charles as they crash on the beach. Paris. The way Charles winces when he sits in Darwin's cab during first class. Oh also "you're always sorry, Charles, and there's always a speech"

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Similarities between Erik and Shaw I think. I hate when people are like "Oh so now you're turning into the man that killed your mother" no, he's not turning into a nazi fuck off. He's making some...decisions. but he's not literally turning into shaw.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

...how bad the last two movies were. Don't get me wrong, they weren't great. They certainly weren't the level of the first class and dofp, but they had their moments. I don't think they were entirely terrible and some people insist they weren't worth the time watching them.

[short-black-diamond]

HEY HEYY IT'S CAKE

I wanna check in with a request and also, How you doin' boo? Life's good for you or not? Have you eaten and drink yet?🫶🫶

So yea my request is another Tged(I'M SORRY I'M OBSESSED 😭😭😭 I PROMISE I'LL REQUEST OTHER THINGS) where the reader is a girl and she took the role of Lloyd. Like she's Lloyd but a female y'know?(Kim suho don't exist) and she basically wants to prove to everyone that a woman can be as powerful as a man!

She's always thinking like "Ugh this is such a men's world" everytime she was reminded that men are in the higher rank of the patriarchy and then became an absolute boss lady🤩

(I wanted the queen and elves to be genderbend but I think that's asking for too much so I hope this is not much trouble as it is😭 anyways yea stay healthy, love)

- 🍰nom

BWAHA I LOVE YOUR REQUESTS MY WONDERFUL CAKE, LET 'EM COME. I'LL TRY TO WRITE ALL YOUR WISHES

(also you have no idea what you're doing to me, calling me "boo" and stuff, LIKE CAKE I MIGHT JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, I'M WEAK AS HELL WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME STUFF LIKE THAT AAAAAHHHH)

Also yeah I ate and drank but not too much sadly, but, fear not, I want to write your request. Also I wanna keep going with my analysis on the tomato can, which I sent earlier (but tumblr only allows 30 pics per post) and I wanna talk to somebody about the latest episodes!!!! I hope you'll be that special someone!

And now to this request:

---

The first female great Estate developer!

You woke up, your chin hurting like hell. 'What the hell...did I pass out somewhere??', you thought as your eyes tried adjusting to the area around you.

...where the hell were you? And why does your chin hurt so m-

Oh.

Oh no.

No, no no no no no no no no no no no nononoononononono-

"____? Are you alright?", asked a calm, collected, but feminine voice. You slowly turned around, and there she was. Jaqueline Asrahan, her cloudy, white-blue-ish front bangs swaying softly to the nightwind, as she gazed down at you.

Your eyes widened. 'Heh, this can't be real.'

It could be real. Pretty much so. The baroness, your mother, cried when she saw you. "Oh, my daughter, my precious, precious daughter! When will you stop drinking and start to actually look for a lover instead of ruining objects and treating people like trash!?", she scolded, her brown locks shaking as she held you close to her.

Your father only shook his head and blonde locks in dissappointment.

'What the hell have I gotten myself into...?!', you thought as you apologized to your 'mother'. She then flinched and jumped away from you.

"D-did you just apologize..?! And you didn't even yell, nor did you say it in a sassy tone..!"

"Mother, I think it's time that I act upon your and father's wishes. I cannot live like this for the rest of my life now, can I? You are right, mother. I need to grow up."

There was a short moment of silence. Then your mother fell unconscious.

...

you overheard a conversation you read from the novel you read before falling asleep. Mrs Meatloaf and another woman, whose name you didn't remember. But you knew that you hated their guts for making your 'mother''s life miserable.

"If I may make an announcement!", you exclaimed now in Lydia's (Lloyd's) body as you strutted through the door. Your mother stood up abruptly, asking you what you were doing here. "Go sweetie, Mommy's got to tend to some business!", she called, ushering you to the door, but you didn't budge.

Long story short, you maneged to get money out of the two rich snobs.

But, you didn't stop there. You and Jaqueline were looking at the mountain. "Let's make a tunnel there!", you yelled one day, with your knight looking at you with a confused expression.

"Why exactly the mountian?", she asked as she looked at you with a small frown. "there's lot's of coal, no?"

...

You two were fighting against a big ass bug/ant/insect, and luckily, Jaqueline could decaptivate its head with her sword. When you two looked at the hole, through the other side, you could see the Orc princess, Arosh.

You grinned devilishly.

After the princess and her comrades regained their consciousness, she looked at you with a confused expression. "So, Lydia says that Lydia and Arosh have killed the queen ant?"

Your face turned into metal as you lied through your teeth. "Yes, exactly."

She looked at you with a frown. "...Are you sure?"

"yes, very much.", you kept on lying.

She still looked at you with a frown.

---

Heyyyy sorry for stopping mid-story, but my brain is fried and I don't know how I can keep going with this story, sorry.

Read you in the next post!