i am so glad that in this world of weird borderline ed triggering and promoting content there are also many women who openly talk about how fucked up these beauty standards are because sometimes it really feels lonely like i am not the only one who's suddenly being constantly slapped with thinspo content. the obsession with body fat smile lines eye bags shaving hair is fucking weird stop bringing that shit back i thought we were all over it
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I've been on such a journey with my body over the years, trying to let go of a lot of shit I was socialized into and appreciating my features as they are.
I used to hate wearing glasses but I couldn't wear soft contact lenses so I conditioned my eyes to have calluses on the backs of my eyelids for my hard contacts.
I hated my nose and wanted a nose job. As it was, I was extremely self-conscious about the exact angles and vantage points that I would allow pictures of me to be taken at.
I used to hate my curls and would spend anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour every morning flat-ironing them before class. I also hated the light reddish brown color and would dye it.
I used to feel like I looked sick and my eyes sunken in without a minimum of black eyeliner and mascara.
I used to feel like a sasquach if I didn't shave my armpits, legs, bush, and pluck my eyebrows.
Now, after years of pushing myself to give fewer fucks, I:
Have cute glasses I like and don't wear contacts
Love my ginger curls and take proper care of them, and don't dye my hair
Say fuck the haters; my nose is great
I've embraced the strong eyebrows and will fill them in, but I only wear eye makeup when it makes me happy
I stopped shaving my pits many years ago. The legs and bush took a lot longer, but in the last year or so I've gotten there.
And now, most recently, I've stopped plucking my eyebrows, because I honestly have no idea how full they can get if I just let them do their thing and don't interfere. I'm learning what my face actually looks like, and learning to appreciate it as it is.
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Made an effort for Christmas but it was really hard to take good photos of. Pretty good look in person tho at least even if it doesn't all come thru
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a truly peaceful day.... I went to Quaker Meeting and there was such a feeling of quiet levity among everyone, and I talked to my older weaver friend afterwards who I hadn't seen in a few weeks.... came home to my clean house, called my mom and sister, got rid of old flowers and arranged some dried lavender i just got..... hung up a new art print i love in a just-right place..... lit candles and incense...... now i'm sitting so comfortably listening to one of my grandpa's old choral albums, looking at the incense smoke rising and the light coming through my plants' leaves..... no better day to spend drifting around my beautiful home in a beautiful new pair of wide-leg black linen pants than a gorgeous one like today!!!!!
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been doing some home work outs 'cause gyms are not for me and i've also tried to exercise more. i really need to take better care of myself.
so far it's looking good. and if the weight goes down eventually, it's just a bonus (it has gone down a little bit when compared to autumn, so yay!). 😊
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(fyi, i have big thighs so the work outs might make them... well, you know 😁)
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Today I worked on:
Prompt submission: 167 words
Disillusioned: 372 words
Buried: Proofreading
Ghost on the Couch: 59 words
Last sentence written (from Ghost on the Couch):
He couldn’t possibly be in a bad mood now.
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