#i've written and sketched it completely a year back but i feel i can do better

[mareliini]

I want you all to know i TRIED to write the "hey let's run from the evil factory" chapter this time, I really did!! Unfortunately it's still not working how I want it to so procrastinating with another wild chapter idea it is.

nothing bad will happen here im sure

[jealousmartini]

💌 She's an overachiever. "Pressure"? What pressure? ⋆₊˚⊹🔖

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

My second year of college is coming in hot guys. And I'm talking the 3rd of September, in TWO WEEKS TIME HOT.

But you already know your girl has BEEN locked in with her subliminals for the next term, cus I've had a whole thing going on since my first term to my second yk. so come a little closer so I can show yall what my game is on

p.s.a!! I am an animation and games art student, so most to all of my work is research and art based. And when I say most of my work is research based, I mean there is an ungodly amount of writing that is expected from the students and it's not even just the amount it's WHAT you write about that gets you the grade and how well your art conveys your ideas.

Also "Ex." = Example

╰┈➤ " My average college day experience as an art student/loass babe " click here!

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

"What? Like it's hard?" At the top of her class, always ontop of her work, never slacking off, always locking in.

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

|| Perfect focus, super attentive, always pays attention and makes notes. I am never afraid to ask for help or advice and I always receive the answers I need to understand the work; no room for confusion here.

|| Very strong, clear memory, perfect photographic memory.

|| Studies so much, it's my hobby, never underestimates myself or downplays my work, has always prioritised my work and has always understood the importance of doing work at home. Studying has never been a struggle for me because I don't struggle with discipline. I actually find so much fun and enjoyment doing homework. I always feel so productive and proud of myself whilst managing my time and looking at the amount I have done afterwards. Especially with the amount of validation and points I earn from teachers. It is always so satisfying seeing my high grades after a complete project. It's like a treat.

|| Creative genius, always brainstorms with words or loose sketches; not a single idea goes to waste. Research enthusiast, I could never shy away from making a thorough, detailed, and well planned out analysis, moodboard or mindmap. And multiple of them at that. I always know EXACTLY what to write and never wastes precious time and space yapping.

|| The life of an art student is exciting, fulfilling, flourishing, inspiring and strict. In the healthy way of course. My parents and teachers are always understanding of my burnouts and art block which are very rare thank god; and it's a good thing I have my closest friends to comfort me through my work. They are always so supportive, encouraging and honest with me as I am with them. We always travel together to the college (when I don't feel like being alone) and we always travel back home together. I mean we are our own personal friend circle so of course we buy snacks for each other and meet up for lunch; it's not even like we need to worry about price since we have more than enough on us. College is 100 times better when my best friends are with me, everything feels so comfortable with them

|| Perfect, cunty, and ideal artstyles. Always chooses the ones most appropriate for a certain design, and never forgets how to convey a certain look. I know, understand and draw human, animal, vehicle, clothing anatomy and terminology, enviromental composition, colour theory and terminology, the 12 principles of animation, the 7 fundamentals of art (Line, pattern, colour, texture, tone, shape and form), and the fundamentals of character design like the back of my hand

|| I know how to layout a design page appropriately, I always know how to theme and colour co-ordinate. Written placement and art placement are always perfect to the T and nothing looks off. All together, I show off my own unique style of work and impress my teachers of classmates

Ex. Subliminals in my art student playlist

"Over achiever", "Desired art skills", "Desired (college) life"

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

"Ugh she is always doing the most with her work😒-" And she always looks good doing it. She's got the looks and the discipline; she's got it all

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

|| Gorgeous, curly, and ideal (3B to 3C) hair. My hair never gets greasy, dry, breakage, damage, frizz, dandruff, or split ends. My curls are always moisturised, soft, bouncy, and defined. I never experience a bad hair day, and my hair is super easy to manage. Detangling my hair is a breeze, and styling my hair is even easier; every style looks exactly the way I want it and never loses the volume or shape throughout the day.

|| Ideal, fit, slim thick pear. Short shoulders, small ribcage, medium-sized chest, 20 inch waist, wide hips and slight dip, long legs, fat ass but not too fat, chubby but fit thighs, slimmer defined calves and small feet. The perfect pear. And every outfit looks exactly the way I want; I never look awkward but I always look put together and stylish.

|| Craziest face card. Ms. Face economy infact. I have a round heart shaped face with dark brown bambi eyes and long fluttery lashes, a medium straight nose bridge, plump pink "keyhole" lips, and the clearest, softest brown skin ever... Yet I still put make up on- yes I do because it's fun and I like it, so it's always awesome knowing I can do my make up flawlessly and nail my looks perfectly

Ex. Subliminals in my ideal appearance playlist

"3C hair type", "Pear body", "Desired face", "brown caramel skin"

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

I'll probably add smore later :3 k bye

[deathbyoctopi]

Xuexiao Art Shoutout ^-^

It will be soon 2 years since I asked for my first art commission ever, after months of wanting to do so, but being deathly scared by it.

What if I ask it wrong, what if I don't like it, what if I pay but then it is a scam, what if it's too expensive and I have to back away in shame, what IF these are all my fears and I didn't even know any reliable artists or had asked any mutuals for tips or recs.

What motivated me for the big step forward was me writing a gift fic for someone very dear to me, which featured a piece of art within the story itself. It seemed so fitting, to make art for it. I held my heart in courage and dared to ask an artist I had seen here, in tumblr.

This artist was @wrathyforest.

Now, I don't remember anymore why I choose them. Probably I saw some xuexiao fanart by them that I liked, or saw somewhere that they were available for commissions, but the thing is with trembling hands I wrote a long dm asking about whether they would accept to draw an art such and such. This turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made in this website.

For the last two years, I've had the privilege of receiving more artwork by them, all xuexiao (because my BELOVEDS!!!) and all of exceptional quality and deep understanding of the characters. This is why now I want to make a little shoutout to these works, and to the process that went into asking them, in part to show other people how engaging, fascinating and rewarding it is to commission artist.

This is (with ONE exception) my little xuexiao art collection. Have at it!

Family portrait

My first art commission ever. My heart goes with it! This is the aforementioned art for the fic To carry a bit of yesterday, written for @itellmyselfsecrets97 and which features the Yi City trio going to make a portrait of themselves.

This was also very special to me, since it was only my second xuexiao fic ever written, and the first that was a self-contained oneshot. It must have left an impact, it remains a well-loved fic to the point that a fic was written from it (The Tell-Tale Art by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior).

I explained the artist what I needed from it, gave the full paragraph in the fic where they were described, and pointed out little details to adjust once the first draft was show to me (Forest, forgive me for being so picky with Xiao Xingchen's legs). I cried with the results.

My second commission came a few months later, with a pic for another work of art...

Defenseless

Now that I see you is an amazing fic by @10holmes with the incredibly exciting premise of a non-visually impaired Xiao Xingchen coming across Xue Yang, on the brink of death and... completely honest-to-god amnesiac.

I had followed this long project (still ongoing) for months, and had left some comments to the author, but at some point this sparse comments became a conversation, and the conversation a deep friendship... And there was a specific bit of their fic that remains one of my absolute favourite non-canon xuexiao moments.

Cue the art. In this occasion, I really wanted to make this as accurate and true to my feelings as possible, so not only did I send a detailed explanation and context (I would NOT expect the poor artist to read 30 chapters of a fic just for a commission!!), but also I made a little sketch. Me, who can't draw a smiley without botching it!

See if you can spot the difference:

You can imagine my shame and mortification to show this horrible doodle to any other human being, BUT the artist actually said this helped a lot to understand the positions, the intention, the expressions even, so it was a good call. I lost my fear of giving directions like that, and I have more-or-less tried to for all my other asks ^-^

The end result of this particular story is this and this:

My next commission was for something a bit more selfish.

Daozhang in a veil

I had in mind a story the premise of which was purely an excuse to put Xiao Xingchen in a dress, and what better than to have visual of that? The fic is called A Comedy of Yi City Errors, a light-hearted xuexiao adventure very fun to write and (I'm told) to read.

Once more, I made quite an explanation and provided a little sketch.

ANd once again, despite the terrible example, the concept that I wanted to send was received well enough and delivering again wonderful results. Look!!! <3 <3 <3

I love them so much.

Around the same time, I decided to make two gifts for what were then becoming my closest friends in this fandom (I think that must have been around some important festival or something) so I asked for these lovely pics next:

Prisoner Xiao Xingchen

Art for the fic The Prisoner of Jinlintai by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior, which is a treasure I recommend for anyone who loves canon divergence and enemies-to-lovers done just right!

And this:

Mermaid Hunter Xue Yang

The beautiful mermaid AU Down in the Black Sea by @10holmes, which is cute beyond compare and inspired another fic I wrote in which I brought that pirate and merman couple to sneak into Versailles. Random anecdote is random.

Anyways, this last one didn't come with a sketch, but I MUST show you my rendition of Xue Yang by the cell door for the earlier fic >w< and the first sketch they did, which is unbelievably cute. See if you can tell which is which.

See? Completely undistinguishable! XD

As for the next, this is a cute little piece I commissioned to celebrate a beautiful friendship.

Under the rain

One of the first xuexiao fics I remember reading was The Taste of Rain on Skin, and once I had the opportunity to meet its author, I could not let something so special pass. Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen look so lovely in this one, so lively and happy and free...

By the way! Notice from my sketch that the artist was the one who made me realize... uhm... Xue Yang should NOT be holding Xiao Xingchen with his left hand, right?? XD So the running direction was reversed >w<

Well, what I want to show you next is something truly exceptional

Pleasure Yang

Not long ago, i was unbelievably surprised with a gift by a group of co-conspiracists I will call... Lionforest. no... Wrathyfish. Hm. It was an amazing surprise, which made me incredibly happy. Art for one of my fics!!! And a very sexy one, at that!!!!! >w<

Just, just look a it!

Look at that cheeky Xue Yang! Xiao Xingchen's fascination with that sexy ruffian!! Song Lan's discombobulated face! This is no more, no less, what I had in mind when I wrote Gentle breeze, cold frost, sweet crimson drizzle, and I could not be happier for it if I tried.

Thank you, you two ❤️❤️

And now... the last pic was spicy. The next is Wei Wuxian-approved congee.

Ok next, the spicy goodies >w<

There is a certain piece of art I still am keeping in my pocket, which one day I hope to use for a spicy Xuexiao fic. At any rate, it is another masterpiece by Wrathyforest and it deserves to see the light of day, finally.

I swear, every time I look at them, they feel so alive. The details!!! The expressions! The obvious and wonderful love! The other things this picture has to offer, omfg the first time I saw it, it was PERFECT!!!

(before you ask, yes. This also has a sketch XD)

In conclusion

I hope you have enjoyed my little collection. Look at all the xuexiao art we have, and from one incredible talented artist. I am over the moon with every single one of these pieces!

Artists deserve so much love and admiration. Greet your local artist, comment on their content, even if it's just a random keysmash, I can tell you as a writer that seeing these kinds of notifications are soul-repairing.

And if you take the step forward and talk to them, (and you SHOULD!! don't be shy, it is really engaging to get in a conversation!), I can guarantee you that you will make a person's whole day.

This is me, showing appreciation for this lovely art. Share it, comment it, love it. The love and passion we all share in fandom is fragile, but it is also so, so precious.

[esvvel]

one year, two months and four days

Lila

It feels like I'm going crazy. The platforms are blurring into each other in my mind, I can't remember how many of them I've seen already, I can't navigate my memories anymore. Five is still trying to rely on the map, but I don't think it makes any sense since we've been coming back to the same stations over and over again a few times; or maybe they were different and I just didn't notice… I found this weird (as if anything in this shithole could be normal) old-fashioned radio. It only gets one station with only one song playing 24/7 and it only works if you hang it right under the ceiling. But it is the best thing in this purgatory. It plays music, FUCKING REAL MUSIC. If Five is right, it's been at least a year since we got lost. And since then, it is the first time I can listen to something other than his boring lectures on the art of apocalypse survival or the subway announcements delivered by that hellish robotic voice in an encrypted language; sometimes I'm not sure which pisses me off more.

one year, two months and five days

Lila

Spent the whole night listening to this song, it made me think of Gracie and the twins. Looked like even this old man was glad to find something that reminded him of a real, normal life. We had to move on and leave the radio behind. If we see it again we'll realize we are going in circles, and anyway I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t work in any other timeline. We danced. Like that time at Luther’s wedding. Didn’t expect Five to be able to do that sober actually, which makes me think I’m not the only one going bananas here. I don’t know why I did it, why I keep pretending that things aren’t as bad as they are. I know Five’s right, fuck he’s right most of the time. But I can’t just admit that we’re stuck, that we’re completely lost, that I’ve come a lot further than I thought, that it’s all my fault. He’s never directly blamed me for any of it, but we both know the truth. And I can feel that we’re almost home, we’re so close.

It has to be that way.

okay there are a lot of words 😭 i've never written anything like this before so i hope this isn't too bad lol, i just wanted to give these sketches more context and yes they are highly inspired by harry and hermione's dance scene in deathly hallows (i love that scene so much). you can think of it as Lila's internal monologue or maybe she has some kind of journal(?) where she writes her thoughts while being in the subway to keep track of events. i have a LOT of headcanons and ideas for more fivelila sketches like this so maybe i'll make a series out of this if you're interested!!

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #34 | 08.27.23

Hi everyone!

Another month has flown by, and we are already entering the month of September soon! It's crazy it's already Fall......... Hope you all have been doing well <3

Since we're getting into the latter half of the year, I wanted to sit down and talk to you about the usual monthly progress as well as do a check in on where Alaris is sitting. This is a longer one, so without further ado, let's dive in, shall we?

Writing

We continue to move forward with writing. But it's extremely refreshing this month since I've Finally moved into Etza's route! Already, the route is feeling relatively different from the past three routes I've been writing---not necessarily because the past three routes are repetitive, but moreso because Etza's route (and the Fae ones moving forward) is very different regarding plot content. I can't say much more than that because then we start getting into spoiler territory. But it's been exciting since Etza, Kuna'a, and Aisa have always been the "final stage" of writing for Alaris to me.

I'm aiming to have Etza's first draft done by the end of next month. We'll check in next month to see my progress, but that's my goal at least! I also wrapped up the finishing touches for Druk's route this past month and moved his onto developmental editing, so we are just moving into New Stages all across the board yay!

Art

Most of my attention was actually on art this month though! Specifically, on finalizing Kickstarter merchandise so I can ship it out. I finished the updated Mermay prints as well as the character postcards.

they r beauty they r grace

I will have some extra prints that I'm happy to send off. Obviously, you will have to pay for them LOL. But if you're interested in any, I'll have an extremely limited stock. Patrons will get first dibs, so if you are interested but aren't subscribed to my Patreon, I'd recommend getting on that for this upcoming month since I will not be restocking the Mermay prints ever again!

We also continued to get backgrounds from Vui. These are spoiler territory, so I will not be showing them this month teehee. But they're beautiful per usual Vui fashion!

Check-In

Now that we're in the latter half of the year, I wanted to talk to you all about overall Alaris progress and some more specific parts of development.

As of right now, we have about 210k written for Alaris (including the demo). And the end estimate is about 350k. For art assets, we have 20 CGs out of an estimated 48 CGs finished and/or sketched out. For BGs, we are on background 18 out of 25. The GUI is for the most part finished, save for some small finishing touches. And we have 6 out of 8 original tracks completely done.

If it's not clear, Alaris will definitely be a 2024 release rather than an end of 2023 release, which may be disappointing news for those of you eager for Alaris. But realistically, even if I make absolutely cracked progress on the assets from now until the end of the year, I would still need time to polish the full game, especially considering how long it took me to polish intertwine for Otojam, which was significantly smaller. And that's excluding my team members, who I don't want to force into a crunching position. All that being said, I hope to get some playable content to you all before the end of the year, namely the updated demo and maybe Kayn's beta build!

I wanted to take a moment to mention one thing concerning the updated demo. As you all may know from past devlogs, I've updated many of the assets for the enhanced demo. Initially, I had wanted to release the updated demo quite a while back, but there was one set of assets that ended up getting held up in production. For full transparency, since I've talked about the updated demo for a while but haven't been able to show much more progress beyond that, I wanted to touch on (generally) why it's been held up, mainly because I don't want you all to think I'm just Not Delivering on it!

My GUI artist is the same person who made the Alaris logo (re.Alice). She's wonderfully talented, which is why I wanted to work with her for the Alaris GUI as well! As many may know, sometimes life happens and so without getting into any specifics, this is what has been holding up the enhanced demo since I haven't been able to update and code in the new GUI.

Based on recent updates from Alice, I'm hopeful that I'll be receiving the new GUI this upcoming month, and I'd love to release the updated demo (T e n t a t i v e l y) in October! Of course, when the September devlog comes around I'll be able to update you all more concretely. But I wanted to communicate where things currently (and have been) standing since I've been wanting you all to experience the updated demo so badly but didn't want you all to feel like I've been forgetting about it/dropping the ball on it/etc. etc. etc.

Thank you, as always for being so patient and supportive of me! As we head into this final half of the year (jesus), I hope the progress I've been making behind the scenes for Alaris will start to come to fruition through the enhanced demo and some playable beta builds of the individual routes <3

Market Research

I did ~some~ market research this month, but it's honestly been pretty sparse, mainly because my usual market research time was actually replaced by Jam Time this month.

Specifically, if you didn't get the chance to check them out, I helped with two games this month for a 10 day jam. I think they're both pretty top-notch if I'm allowed to humbly brag since the teams behind them were very talented!

The first is Oblivisci Memorias

After receiving a mysterious request, you create a potion meant to erase memories. But the process is a grueling one, and as you add ingredients to your potion, you may find yourself reminiscing on memories you thought you had long since suppressed.

And the second is Titan Arum

Alone, you find yourself catsitting in your family's new house as they traipse through Europe. But incidents slowly signal to you that something's... off about this house. What story exists behind its walls? And more importantly, are you brave enough to uncover it?

[thelaurenshippen]

this month’s mixtape is for Sawyer Watson, one of the protagonists of my queer outlaw western (currently drafting). if you subscribe to my newsletter (linked in the previous sentence), then you’ll have already read these, but for everyone else, my notes:

Similarly to last month's Tex Bullock playlist, I'd never actually written annotations for this playlist, despite the fact that I made it all the way back in 2019. And as I did last month to catch you up if you're new: Desperate Hollow is my currently unpublished queer outlaw romance. Tex Bullock and Sawyer Watson grow up in a gang together before Sawyer shoots Tex and leaves him for dead. Seven years later, they end up in the same dead-end town and have to deal with everything they've never said. 

But. Yeah. 2019. That's when I made the original three playlists for this story (this being the third I've shared, though it was made simultaneously with Tex's). It's odd listening to them now, because the characters they were made for feel like sketched versions of them, rather than the completely filled out people they are now. But they didn't change too much from their original conception, so everything still holds. 

Sawyer does not belong in the life of an outlaw. That's not to say he's bad at it--as Tex swoons over observes when they're in their late teens, Sawyer is exquisitely good at violence, he just hates it. He'd much rather think or talk his way out of a problem, so it's a good thing he's incredibly smart and persuasive. He isn't charismatic in the traditional sense - not flirtatious, but commanding. He knows how to tell a story or express an idea and make people listen. And he's curious about everything - always reading any nonfiction tomes he can get his hands on or learning a new skill. He plays piano beautifully and when he lets himself feel joy it is all encompassing. Sawyer has the reputation for being the one person who can truly rein Tex in, but he doesn't like being viewed as Tex's handler - he doesn't think Tex needs to be handled. Tex, the unholy terror of the West, needs to be protected. Which makes it hurt all the more when Sawyer is the one to shoot him and leave him for dead.

1. "Sad, Sad Song" - M. Ward

This is where Sawyer starts the story--he's been living on his own for seven years, with the assumption that Tex is dead in the ground and that Sawyer is the one who put him there. And there's something so beautifully tragic to me about someone going around and asking the entire universe why their true love is gone. I especially love that idea in the context of Sawyer fully knowing that he's the reason. 

And so I went to my mom/I said "Mama, please, what do you do when your true love leaves?"/She said "the hardest thing in the world to do/Is to find somebody believes in you" - Sawyer, made an orphan in his adolescence, would love nothing more to talk to his mother and father about what's happened. But they, like Tex, are gone, so there's no one left in the world who believes in him.

God, I promise, the whole playlist isn't going to be dour sad songs, I'm realizing now this is sort of a downer opener. Tex's is a lot more energetic throughout and that's because he's the one who basically had to crawl out of his grave. Sawyer's the one who has been living like a ghost himself, weighed down by grief. 

2. "Me and Mine" - The Brothers Bright

This scene isn't really in the book the way it used to be, but the idea of Sawyer - someone who hates violence and has never killed anyone in his life - going completely bonkers scorched earth because someone hurt Tex is one of my favorites to think obsessively about. If anyone else had shot Tex, that person would have absolutely been the first and last victim of Sawyer Watson. But instead, he has only himself to blame and I'm sure he won't punish himself in any kind of really sad and mournful way or anything. 

I'm a man of my word/I will burn your kingdom down/If you try to conquer me and mine - Sawyer is absolutely a man of his word, and he is also definitely deeply possessive. A thing that Tex would be totally normal about of course if he knew. 

3. "House of the Rising Sun" - Lauren O'Connell

What would a moody Americana playlist be without an even moodier cover of this song?

Sawyer is not a gambling man, nor one who drinks to excess, nor does he ever partake in the saloon girls all over the Wild West (he is very, very gay and demisexual - also, I know this song isn't explicitly about sex work as much as it is the other two things, but idk, the first time I heard the phrase "House of the Rising Sun", I just sort of thought of a brothel), but he is the sun to Tex's moon, so I do like that imagery. 

But that's not all - I like that the lyrics have so much about parents - a bit of a running theme for Sawyer, who had parents who were wonderful and actually had an impact (positive) on him. I think Sawyer would see the life he leads after they die as some kind of let down for them - that he's been led into ruin and vice, when they were such upstanding moral people. But, then again, Sawyer wouldn't trade it for anything because his "house of the rising sun" isn't a place or a vice at all, but Tex Bullock, an addiction he'll never give up. 

4. "Jolene" - Mindy Smith

See first bullet on previous song. 

Gay demisexual Sawyer jumps out here in full - Tex is the only one for him and always will be. So he watches Tex - bisexual and promiscuous (I know it's a bad bi stereotype - one that, as a bi person myself, I find deeply annoying but...Tex just enjoys sex. Idk what else to do about it) - go to bed with person after person and just...silently sulks about it for years. One of those "both of these people are so jealous that they're blind to the other's jealousy" situations. 

(It should be noted, if its of interest, that these are the sexualities I see them as having from a writing standpoint but from a story standpoint, it's 1898 so of course they weren't using any of these words. Mostly their sexuality is something demonstrated rather than talked about, which is partly why Tex thinks Sawyer is probably interested in nothing at all).

5. "Take Me to Church" - MILCK

Okay, jeez, this playlist is, like, mostly covers. I love a cover, but this is excessive even for me. 

But there is something inherently queer about this song (originally by Hozier, patron saint of lesbians; also, watch the music video), and I love this female cover that maintains the pronouns, to make it explicitly gay. There was also a half intentional/half subconscious thing of filling Sawyer's playlist with female artists. There's a lot of subtextual gender fuckery in the story (necessary for any good Western in my opinion; see also, last week's newsletter) and whereas Tex is a construct of American masculinity covering up a classic "pretty boy" exterior, Sawyer is classically handsome and strong, but much more comfortable in both his masculinity and femininity. 

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies - I am rotating like a rotisserie chicken about this line when I think of these two. I was going to explain more, but I'm basically already writing out the whole story here, so I'm gonna hold back for now. 

Sawyer grew up going to church and is mostly ambivalent about God now,  but his and Tex's devotion to each other is something holy to him, even when they're just friends.

6. "Lemons" - Brye

A bit of a hard tonal turn, but there needed to be some lightness in the midst of all this angst. This song and the next are representative of those moments when Sawyer tries to remember Tex's frustrating qualities or, eventually, when Tex is back in his life and just as infuriating as ever.

You're a sour little boy, with a fragile masculinity

I've tried to remain patient with your stupid shenanigans/But you've given me no other choice/You've tried to knock me over by acting like you're above me/And pretending that I don't have a voice - this is exactly what Sawyer felt about Tex when they first met and how he feels about a lot of people through the years. Sawyer has very little patience for bullshit. 

7. "High Horse" - Kacey Musgraves

See the last bullet on the previous song. 

Oh, I bet you think you're John Wayne/Showing up and shooting down everybody/You're classic in the wrong way/And we all know that you know the story - see: Tex's playlist featuring "John Wayne" by Lady Gaga

And also, I think Sawyer sometimes feels a little this way - that he kills the buzz by opening his mouth and being practical, that he's too stuck on his high horse to be fun. 

8. "I Walk the Line" - Halsey

Female cover strikes again! 

So. I have a terrible confession to make. I'm not a huge fan of Johnny Cash. Don't get me wrong, I think his songs absolutely rule, I'm just not a huge fan of his vocal style, which is why I end up with a lot of covers of his stuff. 

Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you/because you're mine/I walk the line - now, Sawyer, deeply uninterested in anyone who isn't Tex, doesn't have problems with fidelity (to be fair to Tex, neither would he if he actually had what he wanted with Sawyer - that is a bi stereotype that I just fully hate and, in general, I'm just not interested in cheating storylines), but he's still walking a line. He's walking Barlowe's line. He sees how dedicated Tex is to the gang and even though Sawyer could break out on his own, he stays and follows Barlowe so that he can be by Tex's side. 

9. "Missing Me" - Angie McMahon*

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the line loving you is lonely is just sooooooooooo. Well, that's the whole thing, really. 

This song is about someone who is being ignored by their paramour, so not a perfect 1:1, but the object of affection being someone who swaggers, chatters, talks them to nothing...well! That's Tex! 

And, to get back to the point: loving you is lonely. That's how Sawyer feels. He knows that Tex is devoted to him as a friend and brother-in-arms, but he doesn't think that Tex loves him the way Sawyer loves Tex and that is so lonely. And then, once he's gone, all that Sawyer has is that loneliness and missing Tex and still wishing that, somehow, wherever he is, Tex misses Sawyer too. 

Loving you has thrown me/You have been my only rock on the ground

[glorytodroidkind]

Painting the Town

Oh this takes me back. This bad boy was the first oneshot I'd ever written for the series, and it was a request from Wattpad!

I have mixed feelings on this lol, it's cringy at times and it's just...I was just starting to understand them and. Yeah.

even tho it makes me cringe, it is special to me.

Pairing:

Adam x Human!Reader x Eve

(platonic with a sprinkling of pining)

"I have never seen so much white in one place," you groaned as you attempted to sketch a mural that would add more color to the copied city. Scattered around you were the rejected ideas. Everything from "you're my butter half" to the Jaws movie poster had been considered, but each of them had their problems.

   "Hey Y/N!" Eve called, practically leaping into your room. "Whatcha doing?"

You giggled at his antics and held up your current sketch-a Halloween mural, complete with floating candlesticks, jack o lanterns, and other spooky Halloween must-haves. "I've been doing a little bit of sketching, nothing much," you finally replied.

   "Wait, didn't humans eat pumpkins?" He asked. "That's what my brother told me at least, so why are those pumpkins not being eaten?"

   Inside, you cried a little because it had been forever since you had a good pumpkin spice latte or whatever. "Well, we do eat pumpkins, but we eat the insides. Has Adam not read about vegetable carving?"

"There is a seemingly endless pile of books I have yet to read. Surely you can't expect me to have read them all so quickly?"

You nearly jumped out of your skin at Adam's response. "Um, how long exactly have you been here?"

Adam chuckled lightly at your response. "Long enough time see your artwork, Y/N. Does the artwork have any purpose?"

"You mean like...does it help me live my life? No, I could live without it," you began. "But there's only so much white I can handle, and having even a splash of color, I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it makes me feel...happier? I have no idea."

   Adam was silent for a moment. "If it will help you with your morale, I suppose it would be...fun...to see this city pop with color."

  "Yeah!" Eve cheered. "We'll help you! Where do we start?"

This was how the three of you found yourselves painting a large mural in your room. The ceiling was painted to resemble the night sky, complete with an aurora borealis. Each of the walls was decorated to look like a holiday. The wall your bed was against was Christmas themed, with cute little penguins in Santa hats, a Christmas tree, and of course, reindeer. The wall opposite that was thanksgiving filled, which meant a lot of turkeys. The wall to the right of your bed was Halloween themed, and the one across from Halloween was Valentine's Day themed.

  "Thank you guys for your help today," you said when the task was finally completed. You then noticed Adam, who had red and green (and possibly white) paint stains on his usually clean white shirt. "Wait-Adam painted with us? And I didn't even have to convince him! This has got to be a dream."

Adam chuckled lightly at this. "No, I decided that it couldn't hurt to do what you humans used to call hands-on research this time."

  "Hey Y/N?" Eve questioned, red and pink paint splattered basically all over him. "What's the significance of all these hearts?"

  "Well, um, we set aside one day in the year, February 14, to really show your love and appreciation for someone else, whether it's romantically or not," you explained. "I've always thought it was kind of silly since you should always show appreciation for those you care about regardless of the day of the year."

Eve nodded, but you figured he'd ask you to explain it again sooner or later. Adam on the other hand was probably mentally noting the information immediately so he could read about it.

"How close are we to this Valentine's Day?" Adam asked at last.

"Depends. I haven't seen a calendar in who knows how long so I have no idea what day it is. I feel like it's closer to Halloween though."

"Is Halloween also a day to show your appreciation?" Eve questioned. You laughed a little at that.

"No, Halloween is about embracing the scary. You go through haunted houses, dress up in costumes, and demand candy in the dead of night," you explained.

Eve grinned. "That sounds awesome!" He exclaimed. "I want to celebrate Halloween now!"

"I am going to do some more research on the subject of Halloween," Adam stated as he calmly strode out of the room.

"Hey! You said you play a game with me later!" Eve exclaimed, chasing after him.

You chuckled as you watched them go. 'Be still my heart,' you thought, as you once again began daydreaming about what might happen if you dared to tell them exactly what you felt about them.

"Maybe next time..." you said quietly. "Next time I'll tell them."

[thepixelelf]

Hi! I've really been enjoying oby and I'd like to ask a question about it if that's ok? As I was reading, I thought about the amount of planning that must go into it. How do you go about planning a long series like that or any fic in general? Do you sit down and plan them or is it more of a you start off with an idea and it develops as it goes? I'm curious because I know whenever I'm doing art, I'll maybe have the vaguest sketch but then the final piece is completely different ahaha. I enjoy learning how other people think, sorry about the random question haha

I love this question!

Fun fact, the initial idea for Oh Baby, You came to me while I was in Taiwan in May/June 2022, about 11 months before the masterlist was finally posted! At the time, I was stuck in a govt mandated covid hotel with my mom for 10 days and unemployed (the best combination for fic ideas to brew). I made all the fake twt profiles in that hotel room, drafted a basic plot summary (like the one on the masterlist), and then let the wip sit for many months.

I was actually pretty scared to try and tackle something like oby-- it's got relatively heavy themes for something like an smau, and I don't exactly have a great record with completing series, but the level of support and love oby has received really helped!! I feel so lucky to have you awesome readers 💕

As for my planning process, it's actually quite simple! I basically start out with keystone moments-- sometimes I write them down, but sometimes I just keep them in mind. For instance, the oby list (in my mind, not in writing) looked a little something like this:

You took Mingyu's scandal baby, resulting in Jihoon misunderstanding the situation and making Wonwoo cut you out of his life

3 years later, Wonwoo moves back and into the apartment across the hall on the same day as Orion's bday party

CEO Cheol sees you at Mingyu's house and starts to suspect you and Mingyu are Orion's parents

Cheol starts going on "dates" with you, and you feel happy and liked in a romantic sense for the first time in years

Confrontation at the concert where everything comes to light

(more but I'm not spoiling <3)

You can probably tell, but I didn't exactly stick to this plan!! While I do have keystone moments in mind, I usually let my character's lead the way. However I think they'd react to a situation, I let them, even if it messes my timeline up a little. Sometimes this leads to things taking a lot longer than I expect, and sometimes actually makes readers hate characters that I think are justified (to an extent) lol

Anyways, I basically write every chapter the night before, always with the next keystone moment in mind, and the overall plot too.

I don't know if you've ever read or plan to read my tbz smau Hood, but that ended up being 100+ parts, and took over a year for me to write (with a couple breaks). Still, I always knew how it was going to end, I just needed to guide my characters there!

I do kind of the same thing with long written fics, just without the whole one chapter per week thing

I hope this answered your curiosities :] feel free to ask me any other questions 💕

[fazedlight]

20 Questions More

A deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks @eqt-95 and @inkedroplets for the tag!!

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

Daydreaming. Writing fanfic is secondary to that. It was only in the past couple of years that it occurred to me that I could write some of it down and see what happens.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

@searidings is my absolute favorite, the way she unravels the characters' emotions and angst is absolutely superb.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

Ohhh I really love this question:

Cat in Inauthentic, as well as this ficlet and this one. I love her sense of humor.

Lillian in Darkness in All Things. For the same reason as Cat, I just love her snark.

Zor-El in Even Though You're Kryptonian. He kind of surprised me when I started writing him, and to this day I don't know if some of his lines are driven by genuine confusion or if he's just trolling.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

I'm a never-say-never kind of person. There's a lot that I don't think I would ever write, but I've been surprised on where stories have taken me before, and may be surprised again.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

"Process" might be an overstatement...

I have a "scribbles" doc where I keep my ideas. I cull ideas often (though ideas often make their way back anyway). As I write more into the doc, a certain idea may get too big for it, so I spin it out into its own doc.

From there, I kind of go back and forward between outlining and writing. I write completely out of order. Which is why, so often, my multichaps are almost fully drafted by the time I publish chapter 1. I've usually already made it to the resolution point of the plot (meaning, no one's in danger anymore, the bad guy is gone, etc), though the final chapter often doesn't get written until later.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

I love when I've finished the first pass of a chapter/one-shot, and I'm in the editing stage. The story really feels like it's coming together at that point, and it's before all the self-doubt starts bubbling up (that hits hard just before posting).

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

A friend of mine is a professor in astroparticle physics, so I spent a couple of hours asking him about quantum mechanics stuff. But only a small portion of that ended up being relevant to the fic and the rest was just for fun.

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

When I'm first sketching out a scene, about half the time I write in present tense (it feels more like I'm writing a play at that point sometimes), but I publish in past tense. So I end up needing to do a bunch of revisions 😭

Also TYPOS.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

Fight scenes are ROUGH, man.

This is probably one of those answers I'll change every time depending what's at the top of my mind. But writing out a fight scene - like in Even Though You're Kryptonian, Darkness in All Things, or It's a Metallo Life - gets surprisingly difficult if there are more than 2 people.

I know exactly how I'd shoot those scenes if I had a camera crew, special effects, etc. But it's hard making sure the audience is aware of where everyone is positioned, why they can/can't act in the moment, etc.

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

All the fucking time, man. From the very beginning, even. I was trying to have Lena still be angry by the DEO scene in So I Kept Pretending, but that didn't make sense anymore.

I actually recently had a fic idea dissolve because it wasn't vibing with the characters. Which is fine, it became a ficlet instead!

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Absolutely Kara. I have so many questions about kryptonian culture and how it drives her character.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

Trope-wise, I definitely return to the Rift again and again. I find themes around forgiveness and understanding to be really interesting. Can two good-hearted people with conflicting needs hurt each other while still loving each other? How? What does that mean for the aftermath?

I think that's part of what draws me to supercorp - the complexity of their relationship. How they can both be right, and both be wrong, and love each other enough to rebuild from the ashes.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Coffeeshops and libraries. Getting into slightly busy, cozy environments, out of the house, really helps shake loose the stuff in my head.

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

Especially for longer works, I tend to put the work down (and circle to other works, or go outside, or whatever) before coming back to it. It helps to step away for a bit - it's easier to pick up on repetitiveness or unclear passages when coming back.

Though I always find mistakes in my stories much later, so I'm not sure I'm one to give advice on this anyway 🤣

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

Posting anxiety is the absolute worst. If I leave myself in front of my computer I'll end up refreshing constantly waiting for the first kudos (if it's a one-shot or first chapter) or the first comment (if it's a later chapter) to figure out if I've accidentally pissed off everyone in the fandom somehow.

Luckily, my partner will usually pull me away to go on a walk or grab lunch or do something else to take my mind off it 💗

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

I only publish what I like. Sometimes I'm nervous that other people won't like it, but I will always like it. Stories that aren't going a way I like - even if I think the idea is cool! - will dissolve. Just recently I dissolved one that felt like it was a cool idea, but it didn't make enough sense for the characters.

Kudos and comments always make me feel appreciated as an author!! Sometimes I'll get a user subscriber out of it, too, and it feels like an honor that someone would want to hear from me more than once.

The thing that feels most precious, though, is when someone comments on how something made them feel (I love making people laugh at my dumb jokes, or cry when a story is supposed to hit emotionally), or when they pick up on something that I wasn't sure would get picked up on.

I tend to lean towards understatement in my stories. For me, the biggest success is knowing that someone recognized what I was going for, without me being overt.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

Alas, I don't. But given that Kara is canonically a Britney Spears fan and musicals nerd, I feel like my default playlist works 🤣

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

Oh gosh, I don't want to pick someone and create pressure, or not pick someone and make them feel bad. This fandom has so many great artists!

That said, some of my favorites do commissions, you can see everything I've commission here.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

1 supercorp & 1 rojarias (for @supergirlmayhem)

For me, 2-3 is my happy number, so I'm relieved to be down to this after being so high (I think up to 11?) for so long.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

If you're wondering why you can't find that story you want, it might mean that you're the one to write it 💗

- - - - -

Tagging (respectfully and without pressure) @rustingcat @luthordamnvers @sssammich @tinyvariations @thatonebirdwrites @theredcapeofk @sideguitars @luthordamnvers @mycatismyeditor @inkedroplets @nottawriter @snowydragonscave @jetgirl1832 if you want some rapid-fire q's thrown your way. But also anyone who'd like to do this!

[thevagueambition]

21 and 29 for the fic asks?:D I would also like to ask how much Visualization you have with your writing! Do you See what everyone looks like, where they're standing , and so on? Or is it all pretty abstract, script and Big Plot stuff, and then you fill in descriptive details later as needed?

Starting with your question about visualisation, I actually don't have super strong mental visualisation skills -- that's part of what makes me want to create art, I think. Once I've drawn a character, I know what they look like!

I do sometimes have very specific ideas about body language, facial expressions and where people are in space in relation to each other, but often in a way that can be rather inelegant to try to convey in text (this is the sort of thing I'd be likely to do a sketch of because I do have a strong visual idea of it)

When I write dialogue heavy scenes, I often write out the dialogue itself first (often including gestures) and write everything in between afterwards. I do this to stay in the "flow" of the back and forth of the dialogue.

Furthermore, since I find including sensory descriptions unintuitive in most situations, that's also something I often go back and add after I've written out the rest of the scene or when I'm editing and notice something of that nature might help emphasise or relay something in the scene.

(Thinking about it right now, I'm realising that the reason I find including sensory details so unintuitive is probably because of how unobservant I am in my own life. I notice things I find particularly compelling and things that trigger sensory issues, that's more or less it lol)

21) Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Not immediately after writing it. In general, if I've fully written something out, it's likely to make it into the fic in some form -- often at a later time or in a different context if it doesn't work where I initially put it. I do delete stuff, of course, but usually I either do that before I've spent forever on a scene or I do it if I come back to something like two years later and don't remember where I was going with that bit or why I thought it was a good idea, lol.

This also relates to how I write long form stuff -- usually I "sketch out" the next few scenes I want before I actually start writing them out so it's rare for something to make it to the fully written state without being something I judge to be relevant to the story/somewhere I want to take things

29) Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

I don't have any deleted stuff from Elysium I'm afraid :P

I did have a fun idea for Les Mis/Harry Potter fusion at some point, where the barricade plot (in a probably less deadly version lol) happens as a student protest at Hogwarts :P I'm unlikely to ever write more of it, but I'll put some of what I did write under the cut

Neville burst into the room of requirements.

“The Minister of Magic tried to arrest Dumbledore! Now Dumbledore's fled Hogwarts!”

For a moment, the room of requirements, which usually bustled with activity, was completely quiet.

“Dumbledore… is gone,” Harry said, and turned to face the rest of Dumbledore’s Army. “With his arrest, they’ll appoint Umbridge Headmistress. The student body will not stand for it. We can rally them when they appoint Umbridge, take over the school and remove her once and for all.”

Harry looked from face to face, suddenly feeling unsure of his plan. A few people looked dubious, but the twins and Ginny were grinning at each other, Ron looked grimly determined and Hermione was already scribbling furious notes down on a piece of parchment.

“Well?” Harry asked.

“I think you’re right, Harry,” Hermione said. “But if we’re doing this, we need a plan. We need to know what parts of the school we’re planning to occupy, what tools we need to barricade them successfully and exactly what our demands are.”

“Our demand is no Umbridge,” Ginny said.

“Yes, but who are we directing that demand to? The school board? The ministry? And how do we prove we represent the students at large? Do we get everyone to boycott classes? Do we try to get teachers on board? To suspend classes in solidarity?”

“We’ll have a few days before they officially appoint Umbridge, right? Let’s focus on getting people on board for now. Fred, George, do you still have a stash of stink bombs?”

“Yeah, but we’re running low,” Fred said.

“We can make more, though,” George said.

“Good, you two get on that now,” Harry said. “Hermione, you, me and Ron can begin to plan which parts of the castle we should focus on.”

[mom-dont-like-it]

A Friend. Happy Valentine's Day!

"Boring," Mina sighed sadly. She stretched her legs. The girls were sitting in Yaoyorozu's room. They had come to finish their group work. "And hot."

It had been one of those very hot days. The students were studying hard because there wasn't much time before the exams. Jiro, Yayorozu, Mina and Midoriya decided to get together to finish their assignment. But they didn't think that in this hot weather, the last thing they wanted to think about was studying.

"If you have nothing better to do, we can continue our work," Izuku said. She did not take a break from her notebook. She had received a message about three minutes ago. She was writing something.

"Boring!" Mina had a look at her friend. "Hey Midoriya, what kind of writing is that? I thought you'd decided to rest."

"We didn't, you did." Jirou corrected and came into the room. "I've got something to drink."

"Finally!" Mina breathed out as she took a bottle of cold soda. "Ah, it feels good."

"This fan is useless," Midoriya grumbled. She wiped her hands so as not to spoil her notebook.

A strong gust of wind picked up the light curtains. It sent them flying across the room. Jirou jumped up to them and held them in place so that they would no longer be in the way. Yaoyorozu came out of the bathroom at the same time. She was holding some colourful fans.

"I thought it might help us," Momo smiled. The girls squealed with delight. They grabbed the fans that were meant for them. 

"How sweet you are, Yaomomo!" cried Ashido, throwing herself into her friend's arms. "How sweet..., so cute. You don't mind if I keep it. Do you?"

"Of course you do." Momo replied with a smile. "I have made it especially for you."

"Thank you, Yaoyorozu-san." Midoriya thanked her and took the fan from her hands. "These are beautiful. "

"Oh, come on." Yaoyorozu mumbled shyly. "Thanks a lot."

"Still, what are you writing there?" asked Mina, taking a sip. She bent over and had a look at the notebook. "It's that notebook you always carry with you. Isn't it?"

Midoriya smiled warmly. She flicked through the slightly rough pages, which were completely scribbled in her own handwriting. Small sketches of heroic costumes and even the occasional quirk could be traced here and there. The notebook was only half filled, though it had been kept for several years. 

Midoriya looked at the outstretched hand in curiosity. She handed the notebook to Mina. The girl leafed through the pages. Only at the end did she find something interesting.

"Oh, what's that?" Mina asked, pointing to the small inscription at the very end of the book. The handwriting was familiar to her. She smiled mischievously and waited for an answer. "Letter to love?"

"What do you mean?" Midoriya asked as she picked up the notebook. To her surprise, she actually noticed a short sentence that had been written in a hurry. "That's the first time I've seen it. "

"What is it?" Yayorozu asked, sitting closer. Jiro followed behind her as well. "Sorry?"

"Do you have any idea who might have been the writer? "Mina asked with the same slyness in her voice. She couldn't hold back a smile. 

"But it can't be him." Midoriya muttered. "It can't be him, right?"

Memories whirled through Izuku's mind. Cruel words spoken in the heat of the moment, burned pages and looks of guilt. Were they spoken back then? Especially those which were so desirable.

***

Back in high school, it happened on the 14th of February. Mitsuki decided to invite Midoriya's family for dinner.

"While she was cooking in the kitchen, Bakugou called out, "Hey, Katsuki! "Get over here right away!"

There was a knock on the door from the first floor. Loud footsteps could be heard. 

"Stop stomping! It's getting on my nerves!"

"What do you want?" Bakugou asked reluctantly. 

"Inko is going to be here soon. Did you get the chocolate ready for Izuku?"

"Why?" muttered Katsuki and picked up a knife. He stood next to her and helped his mother cut the food.

"What do you mean, why?" shouted Mitsuki, waving her arms in the air. She had a moment's thought and then another: "Okay, you won't have time to cook. They'll be here any minute. Then go and run to the nearest shop and get yourself some chocolate as a present for them."

Since Bakugou resisted and Mitsuki was adamant, he went out the door to the nearest shop that might have what he needed. After passing a few counters, Katsuki heard a familiar voice.

"Have you decided, dear?"

"Not yet, Mum. Please wait a little more."

Bakugou came closer. He stopped a few centimetres away from the girl. Choosing between several boxes, Midoriya crouched down. Bakugou looked around the shelves. When he had chosen a suitable one, he tapped Midoriya's head lightly with the box.

"That's better," he said. He chuckled inwardly when Midoriya jumped in surprise. 

"Kacchan?" Midoriya called out as she got to her feet. "You are here! Oh, I had a mind to... Never mind.

"Do you need anything? Just let me know before I change my mind. "

"Midoriya mumbled, "Ah, you don't have to. 

Bakugou mumbled something reluctantly. He picked up one of the boxes Izuku was looking at.

"Oh, Katsuki?", Inko exclaimed at the sight of her friend's son in the shop. - I didn't think: We'll see you here. Well, then we'll have a walk together.

Surprisingly, this day had begun quietly, despite the fact that the relationship between Midoriya and Bakugou had remained strained lately. However, this remained the case until a certain point.

"Speaking of studying: Izuku, have you decided where you're going next?"

There was a moment of silence at the table. Midoriya looked away. Inko looked nervously at her daughter. She wanted to change the subject, but Izuku spoke first.

"Me," Midoriya started, but Katsuki's gaze was a source of hesitation. "I don't have my mind made up yet."

"I know it's complicated enough, but don't prolong it. Otherwise, it might be too late later."

After they had finished eating, Mitsuki suggested that Izuku go upstairs to Bakugou and talk while they stayed in the Dining Room.

"I told you to forget it," Katsuki said. She looked him in the eyes. "It's just stupid."

Midoriya clutched the notebook to her chest and muttered under her breath: "This is my dream, stupid or not. I have to have a go at it anyway."

Bakugou exhaled angrily, barely holding himself back, but when he saw Midoriya's brave look, he couldn't stand it any longer. The katsuki grabbed the notebook and blew it up. 

"This is not your future," Bakugou roared. He went over to the window and held out a hand with the notebook.

"Wait!"

"Do you want to die?" shouted Katsuki and with a single movement, she threw the notebook out of the window.

"No!" Izuku cried pitifully. She ran up and looked outside. "Why?"

She scrambled out of the room, telling her mother in her last words that she'd be the first to come home, and rushed outside. It was not long before she was in search of the notebook. It was lying on the floor right under the window of the room. Looking up, Midoriya stumbled upon the curtained window. The light was out. 

A month passed in silence. Nearly all the records were hopelessly corrupted, but Midoriya's memory was good enough to start restoring them. Time passed without her noticing. The beginning of spring had not been felt by Izuku at all.

The 14th of March fell on a day off. So Midoriya sat in her room and finished her homework. She hadn't planned to go out, so she wasn't expecting anyone. A knock at the door seemed odd. Inko was in the shop and wouldn't be back for an hour or so. Izuku went to the door to see who might have come to see them.

As he approached the door, Midoriya opened it slightly. But when she noticed the familiar clothes, she opened it in surprise. 

"Kacchan? What are you doing in here?"

Instead of answering, the boy held out a small package. Without waiting for an answer, he headed for the stairs leading downstairs. Midoriya followed him until he was completely out of sight. Then she closed the door. Izuku hadn't expected a gift in return, even though it was a white day. Only then did the girl dare to open the package after she had gone to her room. The small rectangular object was wrapped in bright paper. In spite of the simple wrapping, it was obvious that it was a very elaborate package. Izuku unfolded the pleasantly crispy wrapping and pulled out a bulky notebook. It looked similar to the one Katsuki had ruined a month ago. Would you call that apologising?

Midoriya knew that it was really an apology only now, after all this time. For some reason, Katsuki had chosen to write the short word "sorry" at the very end, so Midoriya didn't see it right away.

With a sharp movement, Izuku jumped up and startled her friends. She ran out of the room and made her way a little bit further down the corridor towards herself. It took a couple of minutes and she found a box of spicy chocolates in her cupboard, a little bit wrinkled. Today was the 14th of February and Midoriya had bought a package for Bakugou out of habit, but had changed her mind. But now she was sure that the present had to be given, when she saw the inscription with the apology.

Approaching her friend's room, Midoriya went downstairs to the boys' wing. 

"It's for you!" when the door opened, an embarrassment that came out of nowhere made Midoriya blush and she held the box in front of the boy. Noticing Bakugou's perplexed expression, she looked up shyly. "I... the writing... isn't it?"

Izuku couldn't string a few words together. So she just handed over the box silently and walked away.

"Yeah," Bakugou said and accepted the box.

"It's a friendly chocolate, don't you think."

"Yeah."

[russburlingame]

C is for Comics and D is for Dinosaur!

Back again, back again.

Okay, so let me tell you a story about comic books.

No, this isn't another quasi-autobiographical rant, like I had about video stores (although I could do that, too!). This is a mini-rant about how the C week of the Alphabet Superset...well...got away from me.

Kind of.

A while back, while I was mowing the lawn, I had a story come to me fairly fully-formed. That's...amazing...for me. I haven't written fiction in many years, as I noted in the A is for Accident post.

Okay, so...comics. Why is C for comics? And why haven't I shown you any comics yet?

When that story came to me while I was mowing, I didn't seriously think I would do anything with it -- it's based on characters I don't own, and I'm certainly not planning on pitching it to the owners.

Still, I jotted most of the key points down. Far be it from me to completely dismiss an idea, even one that wasn't practical to consider.

In the months since then, new ideas have kept popping into my head with regard to the fiction story, and I quickly realized that it had to be a graphic novel. I have an artist in mind, who agreed to do it for a very modest fee, and while I haven't paid him or talked about the book to my bosses at Paramount yet, I'm not sharing any of my character sketches and wacky comic ideas here because...well...I feel like I'm going to make the comic.

Not with the corporate-owned characters, no. Rather, I'm thinking of using a blend of original characters and public domain superheroes from the Golden Age (since it's THAT kind of story anyway, honestly). Camp, comedy, heroics, heart...that's what I'm going to go for. I can't even kind of start writing it anytime soon, but I'll give you the very bare-bones concept here:

A group of time-travelers find themselves imprisoned. The charges? They've broken time, and nobody is quite sure how, or how to fix it. Before too long, it becomes clear that they have been set up: the head of the organization that's holding them, has a decades-long grudge against an old ally of the team. They have to get a message to that ally in order to get sprung from jail and...hilarity ensues.

They're stuck looking for a historical figure who was kidnapped and disappeared by his own government. with their ability to time-travel significantly limited, if they can't find this mystery man, they may be doomed!

Okay, and now for D is for Dinosaur.

I've put these two things together because neither one is really a stand-alone piece of creative work, but more an icon representing creative work that I've been doing behind the scenes. Also, so that I can share them more easily to the Alphabet Superset Discord server.

So that guy up there is Boone. You may recognize him from The VelociPastor, a 2019 micro-budget movie that became an instant cult classic. Back in September, I visited the set of VelociPastor II, did hours of interviews, and got lots of photo and video with my buddy Zach. And while I'll save the details for when there's an official official announcement, the thing I'm here to share is that I'm writing an official companion book for VelociPastor II. Called The VelociGospel, the book will be an oral history of VP and a companion to VP2, speaking with as many cast and crew as possible. The plan is to release it on the same day VelociPastor II comes out on DVD, Blu-ray, and Digital.

More on this soon, but I just really, really want to let people know it's a thing that's happening so that I can mention it on Bluesky and not immediately feel like I have to chase my own tail or delete the post.

Yes! There's going to be a VelociPastor book! And I already have about 30 pages written!

So...yeah. These are project that I have been working on quietly in the last few weeks. But I can't share stuff just yet. Soon, I promise!

[sleepyhollo]

Madness Combat character tiiiime I've worked on her a lil bit more now so I finally feel comfy introducing her! This is -----, though her nickname is "Angel" for... obvious reasons (plz excuse shit quality, art tablet pen broke so im stuck doing paper art and the lighting in here is ass) I do hope to polish these up in digital after I get a new pen for my birthday! This sketch will most likely have much more added to it if i do remember to do that. I've had her for around 2 years now, tweaking things on and off over that time, but all of her details both artwise and written may be subject to change!

Still figuring out tidbits of her lore but she's in summary a failed creation of Project Nexus, imperfect and unfinished. However she was originally human, though has absolutely no memory of who she might have been before. She very closely resembles something like a biblically accurate angel, with many eyes and wings that she can choose the amount of at any time. Her body is completely absent of any "parts", instead being covered in a soft layer of pure white fur, obscuring most distinctive features. The eyes that appear all over her have black sclera, with golden irises and pale pupils. She was literally created cuz I've wanted a character based off of BAA's for a few years but never could find somewhere that type of niche might fit. Until i discovered MadCom and just went "fuck it lets do this" Phobos intended her to be much more dangerous and violence driven than she is, but she ended up getting out before the entire process was finished, and is instead a very empathetic and peace-driven creature, never seen in a fight unless its to try and stop it. A reality that is very hard for her to exist with in Nevada. It did however earn her a very peculiar friend. The most peculiar in fact. Still figuring out how Tricky clicks with my style and how i want to draw him, but he's definitely my favourite Madness Combat character

agyshfb i hate my paper art I can't wait to get back to drawing with my tablet- She just a lil bean

[ghostervn]

Ghoster and Friends June 2023 Devlog

What's that? It's time for another devlog!?!?!?!?

concept art for game thumbnail

Like I mentioned last time, I finally got a new iPad! Meaning I've finally been able to continue drawing art for the game, even if most of them are just rough sketches so far.

Here, let me show you all the new Ghoster sprites!

what? i said i'd show you all the new ghoster sprites

Speaking of sprites, I've started actually adding them into the game and figuring out placements, including textbox sprites!

(except the project i used to test the sprite sizes has a bigger resolution than the actual game so all of the sprites are too big so i'm gonna have to resize them all oops)

As for the music, it's almost done. Usually I have a habit where if I need new music for a new scene I’ve just written, I'll just make the music straight away. I just have a few more songs to make for the most recent new scenes. Here, let me show you Caterpillar's new theme!

Finally, the most important news… The rough script for the game? Yeah. Well. It turns out… IT'S PRETTY MUCH FINALLY DONE

All the endings have been written out, and now I just need to go back and check typos and such. I have to admit, for me writing the script has probably been the hardest part, but I'm really happy with how it's turned out so far. Although I have to admit, I might not be making a demo after all. The game's only about an hour or two long and feels a little short to release a demo for. I can say with certainty though, that the game will release this year!

(or at the very least, early 2024. screenshot if this ages poorly i guess)

Now, about m o n e y. I do plan on offering a paid option for the game. You'll be able to download and play the whole thing for free, but if you buy the game, you'll get the full soundtrack and art collection! (the soundtrack will also be avalible to buy separately) Still haven't figured out a price yet, but maybe around £5? It'll be easier to decide once the game is fully complete.

Aaaaand that's it for this devlog! See you soon…

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Five // Wanda Maximoff

chapter four | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter six

author’s note: dying of cramps but didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging, so enjoy! x

Taking Wanda to Blackpool was something I couldn't stop thinking about for the past three days.

I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm, not make her feel uncomfortable with my obvious attraction to her, and to give her the best day out considering she'd never been before. It wasn't anything more than a girl spending time with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I had to keep reminding myself that whenever I'd feel a stir of desire in my chest at the thought her pretty smile or intoxicating gaze.

My family were thrilled when they heard of my plans with Wanda. My parents were glad I was actually making an effort to get on with her, whilst my brother was excited I was becoming 'best friends', as he put it, with his fiancé. That one stung a little, the guilt pricking my insides, but I convinced myself that that was exactly what I was doing. It wasn't wrong if I didn't think of Wanda in any way but what she was. Right?

The weekend came around quickly enough, and on Saturday morning, I met with Wanda at the train station where she waiting for me with an enthusiastic smile.

"I brought my watercolours and sketchbook so I can paint what's there," she explained as we boarded the train. "I also bought a lot of pencils in case some snap. I'm gonna draw everything I see so I don't forget a single thing."

We slid into our seats and I smiled with admiration as she continued to ramble about all of the things she wanted to do today. She looked so lively when she spoke, her hands moving about frantically to express her excitement, and her lips permanently etched into a smile when she wittered on. I didn't mean to stare, but God, she looked beautiful.

"Thank you again for doing this," she finished, head turning to mine.

Now, I'd read and written many clichés of someone falling for someone else, particularly the moment they knew they were too far gone. It was hard to believe if they were true depictions of liking someone, but I liked reading and writing them.

It was now that I learnt that they were no exaggeration, for when she looked my way with a beaming smile and glowing green eyes, I knew it was too late. There was no going back for my attraction to Wanda.

"No need to thank me," I spoke slowly, surprised I could speak at all since she'd knocked the breath from my lungs. "I'm glad you're excited."

The journey was a few hours long and we made conversation the whole way. It was the longest I'd spent alone with her since meeting her and I was intrigued by everything she had to say, hanging onto every word with all of my attention. If that wasn't enough, her accent only made everything she said sound so much better. She was naturally soft-spoken, but syllables rolled off her tongue in a silky, raspy way with her accent entwined in her words. I loved it.

At one point, the topic of our families came up and I felt like my brother came up in almost every conversation I'd had with anyone who discussed family, so I took this as my opportunity to get to know hers instead.

"What's it like to have a twin?" I asked, leaning on my elbow as I watched her attentively.

She mirrored my action playfully, though answered my question. "It's just like having a normal sibling, except they're way more annoying."

I smiled, imaging just how annoying Pietro could be as a sibling.

"I love Pietro, but he's very frustrating at times," she spoke with a hint of endearment. "He constantly throws it in my face that's he's older than me by twelve minutes. As if that makes a difference."

A chuckle flew from my lips as she pouted at her own words.

"But he's also my best friend," she said with a sigh, like that fact was irritating in itself. "He knows me better than anyone and he's the easiest person for me to talk to. I don't have to hide anything from him." She paused, glancing upwards in thought. "Well, almost anything."

Pursing my lips, I wondered what she meant as she mumbled the last part, but didn't question it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.

"So, you and your family moved to England when you were kids, right?" I tried to recall what my parents had told me of them. "From Sokovia."

"Yes, we were about..." She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember. "Eight years old, I think?"

"Wow, that's young," I realised.

She hummed in agreement, smile fading as her eyes fell to her hands. "Yeah... I don't remember much, but there was a lot of unrest at the time. A war. It was dangerous for everyone and my parents were lucky to get us out when they did."

I frowned, knowing some of this already, but it was sadder to hear when it was coming from Wanda herself.

"Our extended family didn't make it out," she continued to explain, voice quieter. "I didn't know them much, my parents' siblings, so it's not that sad for me. Pietro, too. But it's strange to think, you know? Especially when all of your family are around with this wedding and–" She sighed, shaking her head and looking to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."

I straightened up, reassuring her instantly. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. It's okay. I... I didn't know any of that. I'm glad you told me."

She nodded, though the regret was still present in her gaze.

"I'm sorry all of that happened," I expressed honestly, not looking away. "But I'm glad you're here, if it makes a difference. You– your family are good people."

A small, appreciative smile graced her lips. "Thank you."

I shrugged, trying to brush it off so she wouldn't notice the heat rising up my neck. "It's nothing... so Sokovia. You speak Russian and English. That's pretty bloody cool."

She laughed wholeheartedly and any hint of sadness disappeared from her face, reassuring me completely. I didn't like to see her sad, especially when there was nothing I could do to make her feel better that I knew of.

"I promise to teach you some Russian today," she said with amusement. "A few words, just to diversify your vocabulary."

"Gee, thanks."

Another laugh escaped her and I chewed on my lip to contain my grin. I could get used to that sound.

—

When we reached Blackpool, Wanda was radiating with excitement. We couldn't make it two steps anywhere before she whipped out her sketchbook and began to sketch. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to capture everything she saw.

I was patient, since the reason we came was for her, and watched as she worked. It was cute, seeing her concentrate and trying to stop dancing around with excitement every time I showed her something new.

We walked along the promenade and dipped in and out of the shops, looking at the gifts and clothes they sold. We bought a few things to commemorate the trip, but then Wanda was quick to drag me back outside so she could sketch the view of the beach from where we were stood. The grin on her face was convincing enough for me to let her drag me wherever she wanted. She looked so happy and I didn't care about anything else.

Eventually, around lunchtime, we headed to a café to have a break from all the excitement. Or rather, a break from running around. For Wanda, it was a better opportunity to sit still and sketch some more.

"So, you're drinking what, Y/N?" she asked, not looking up from her sketches as she worked.

I looked at my tea and lowered the cup. "Er, tea?"

"In Russian," she instructed.

"Oh." I cleared my throat, remembering what she taught me earlier. "Chay."

"And what's in the chay?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet mine patiently. "The milk?"

"Moloko," I remembered, and the proud smile on her face reassured me I was correct. My shoulders relaxed as I returned her smile. "Thanks."

"You're a natural," she assured me, before looking back to her sketchbook. "I only taught you the words. You remembered it yourself. And before you know it, ty budesh' govorit' polnymi predlozheniyami na russkom."

My mouth opened with confusion, not knowing what she said. She seemed to realise as she chuckled at my expression.

"Never mind, milaya (darling)," she said with humoured eyes, before resuming her sketching.

I breathed out, taking another sip of my tea before grabbing a fork to dig into my pasta. As I chewed, I watched Wanda move her pencil effortlessly, creating lines that somehow resulted in a perfect drawing of the horizon.

"Do you only draw and paint landscapes?" I asked curiously.

"I can do portraits, too," she answered with a nod, glancing at me. "But they're never as good."

I gave her a knowing look. "I doubt that."

She merely smiled in response, eyes meeting mine for a moment, before shaking her head with amusement and looking back to her sketches. I chuckled, leaving her to it as I enjoyed my lunch and read the newspaper.

It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company as we did our own thing. I'd occasionally glance up to see Wanda focused on her drawing and smile, allowing myself to appreciate the sight, before looking back down to the paper and enjoying my pasta.

By the time I finished my food, as had Wanda, she straightened up and tore a page from her sketchbook. The noise pulled me from my reading and I looked up to see her holding the paper towards me.

I quirked a brow, but she simply shook the paper, signalling for me to take it. With confusion, I took it and became speechless when I saw what she'd drawn. It was me reading the paper, the exact view she must have had from being sat opposite me. It looked exactly like me, probably better since I knew I didn't look that good, and I was amazed at her talent all over again.

"You did this just now?" I asked with disbelief, looking up at her.

She shrugged and distracted herself with her pencil. "Yeah, it's not much. It's not my specialty."

I scoffed. "You're kidding. Wanda, this is amazing!"

Bashful smile on her lips, she glanced up at me. "Maybe it's the best portrait I've done. But I think that's down to my subject."

Even when she was embarrassed, she was still capable of turning the tables on me, leaving me a flustered mess. It was like her superpower. A very annoyingly cute superpower.

"That's what you look like y'know," she continued, nodding to the paper in my hand. "When you're focused on reading. You chew your lip with thought. And you get this little crease–" she pointed between her brows with a laugh, "–right here, and you seem to forget that anything else exists."

A sweet smile spread on her face as she tilted her head, watching me with intimidating eyes, very much aware of the effect her words had on me.

"You're very observant," I said, trying not to stutter, her gaze making me nervous. "Perfect skill for an artist."

She hummed in agreement, though didn't look away. "Mere artistic observation, right?"

My heart was hammering in her chest the longer she stared, especially when her words dawned on me. I'd said the exact same thing after she confronted me about picking her ring. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Just like the first time I saw her, I was at a loss for words and couldn't look away. She was compelling, beautiful and remarkable all at once.

—

"Nebo," I said, hoping it was the correct word for 'sky' in Russian, as Wanda had taught me.

She grinned. "Yes! And horizon?"

I pulled a face as I thought carefully. "Er...gorizont?"

"The student is soon to become the master," she said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing that was anything but the truth. I appreciated her encouragement though.

"Okay, before we head to the beach, we have to buy some rock," I told her, leading her to the stall on the promenade. "I got it last time and it's so good."

She furrowed her brows. "What's that?"

I smiled at her expression. "It's a sweet. Kind of like boiled sugar that's formed into a stick of, well, rock."

She didn't seem convinced. "If you say it's good, I trust you, I guess..."

I laughed, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the stall. "You'll love it."

After getting two sticks of rock for Wanda and I, we began to walk to the sand. I glanced at the brunette, wanting to see her reaction. She eyed the hard candy before attempting to bite it, a small piece breaking off at the top. Crunching on it, she scrunched her nose up.

"It's hard," she noted, swallowing the piece. "Tasty, though."

"It's better if you suck on it, love," I let her know with a hidden smile. "Tastes much better."

She did as I said, beginning to suck on the top, and seemed to enjoy it more. Giving me a thumbs up as she sucked it, I couldn't help but laugh again. She looked adorable, so I left her to it and did the same as we walked along the sand and towards the benches in the distance.

Like a child experiencing something for the first time, she began to point excitedly at Blackpool Tower and the ferris wheel in the distance and I just kept nodding along, letting her get excited because it made my heart skip a beat every time she flashed me a smile.

When we reached the benches, I was glad that today wasn't a busy day. It wasn't exactly tourist season, so the beach was scarce of anyone but residents of the town. And even then, our side of the beach was pretty empty, giving us first dibs on a bench that wasn't broken or uncomfortable.

Settling on it, Wanda pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged so she could lean on them and pull out her watercolours. I sat beside her and leaned back, inhaling the salty air and exhaling peacefully. I never had much reason to visit here apart from when my parents took my brother and I on the occasional trip, but it was nice to appreciate the sound of the ocean washing over the sand and the seagulls squawking in the sky. A big difference compared to back home.

Another silence formed between us as she painted the water ahead, and I couldn't help but glance her way, watching her pucker her lips with concentration. All she'd wanted was this and I was glad I could finally give it to her.

So she wouldn't notice, I looked away and stared out at the blue expanse of ocean before me. I should have been appreciating its beauty, but all I could think about was how it was no contest to the girl sat beside me.

"I'm really glad you brought me here today," she said out of the blue after a while, "but I wouldn't have said yes if I'd known you would be bored."

I looked to her and saw she was still preoccupied by her painting. "I'm not bored. We came here so you could see the water and find some new subjects to paint. And that's exactly what we're doing."

She sighed, looking up at me with a questioning glance.

Smiling reassuringly, I said, "I like the quiet. And I like watching you work. You look happy. It's good to see."

She tensed her jaw, stifling a smile, but her eyes said it all. She was grateful. Of course, her eyes were also very easy to get lost in, even if she didn't mean for me to. And right now, under the sun, I found myself drowning in pools of blue.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.

Stupidly, I felt compelled to tell her the truth. "I'm thinking about how you have really pretty eyes."

Attempting to make me flustered yet again, her favourite hobby by now I was guessing, she raised a brow teasingly. "Oh, really?"

It didn't bother me this time though, as I maintained eye contact and felt my heart swelling with adoration. "Yes. It's like you hold all the elements in a single gaze."

Her smile faded and that's when I realised what I'd said, my heart dropping to my stomach in an instant. Swallowing hard, I looked away and shook my head. An apology was waiting on the tip of my tongue when she spoke with realisation.

"It was you."

I glanced her way nervously. "What was?"

She was staring like her mind was working something out and I was the missing piece. "The letter that Y/B/N gave me last week. He wrote the exact same thing. What you just said."

My brows knitted together with confusion, then it hit me. The love letter Y/B/N wrote. The one he assured me was for his own eyes. He'd given it to her. And I'd just gone and said the exact thing he'd written on it, no doubt passing it off as is his own words.

"Th–that wasn't me," I got out, shaking my head slowly. "I didn't even know he gave you a letter, Wanda."

She continued to watch me, eyes squinting with scepticism. I swallowed hard under her gaze, trying to think of how I could come back from this. But apparently I didn't have to, because she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.

My mind was foggy when her fingers rested behind my neck, tugging me closer. I closed my eyes, melting at her touch, and began to kiss her back, moving my lips against hers. She was slow and gentle with me, her lips as soft as they looked and sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. I could have kissed her forever and been content, but my brain finally caught up to my actions and I reluctantly pulled away, stunned.

Glancing around to make sure nobody saw us – there was literally nobody here – I caught my breath and looked back to Wanda. Her eyes were drawn to my lips before they flickered to meet mine, darkened with desire.

"Why did you do that?" was all I could think to ask, and I was acutely aware of her fingers still grasping my neck, the skin burning where her tips grazed.

She licked her swollen lips, expression softening. "I think I've been falling for the wrong Y/L/N."

My lips pressed together, missing the feeling of hers against them. Never in a million years did I expect her to say something like that. I thought she'd been teasing me this whole time, but now, maybe there was truth to her actions.

"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked apprehensively.

"What?"

She swallowed. "What you said about my eyes. Did you mean it?"

Well, she'd kissed me, so there was no going back now.

I nodded, noticing the hesitance in her eyes. "Yes... you're beautiful, Wanda."

She didn't say anything and the silence was deafening. I almost wanted to run back home and pretend this never happened, but that was the cowardly side of me. The other side, the disbelieving side, wanted to stay here with her and keep living in this little bubble we'd created.

"Can I kiss you again?" she finally spoke, eyes flickering between mine for confirmation.

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded slowly, and she didn't waste another second as she leaned in once again. This time, I wasn't so surprised, so I kissed her back quickly, trying not to think about how wrong this was. How I'd been taught that this was wrong. Because I refused to believe this was wrong, that it was a sin, when it felt so damn right.

Wanda felt right.

—

When I got home later that afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Wanda was all that was on my mind. Everything about her was floating around up there – the contagiousness of her smile, the brightness of her eyes, the taste of her lips. When I left this morning, I wasn't expecting to return with– well, I wasn't sure what we were, but we'd decided to give whatever this was a go.

Of course, she was still engaged to my brother, but I tried not to think about that. She made me happy and maybe in a different lifetime we could have been together, but this was the wrong lifetime which meant I'd have to make some wrong decisions, this possibly being one of them.

The guilt was still present, but the adoration I had for Wanda overpowered it. The fact that she actually liked me back was too thrilling for me to even concern myself with the lack of future this relationship would have. I just wanted to enjoy what we had whilst we had it, even if it meant being together in secret.

"So, how did your trip go?" my mum asked me when I returned, looking up from her knitting.

I stifled my grin the best I could. "It was fun. Wanda loved the seaside."

My mother seemed pleased as she smiled my way. "Y/N, that's great. You know, I'm really proud of you for making an effort with her. It means a lot to everyone."

"Mhm."

"She's going to be your sister-in-law after all," she continued knowingly, "so it's good you're spending time with her. Maybe you could do it more."

I hummed in agreement, my heart fluttering at the possibility of spending more time with Wanda. "Yeah, that could be good."

"Go on upstairs, you must be tired from the travelling," she said after a moment, noticing my distant headspace. "I'm glad you had fun today."

Wanda's smile appeared in my mind again, her lips ghosting my own. I sighed contently.

"Me, too."

[chosonore]

summary: choso always takes good care of you, whether you're sick or not. even when you're sick and slightly delirious, your opinion could never be swayed - you loved choso with all your heart.

a/n: honestly, this is purely self-indulgent because i'm sick and i want a choso to take care of me until i know what's wrong and get better 🥺 it's inspired by the naoya fic i've written a while ago but uh this just really reads like a love letter to choso lol. i love him so much i'm not even kidding, no one could ever compare to him

if you were to describe the relationship between choso and you, it would be comfortable silence. choso didn't speak a lot, rarely starting a conversation on his own unless he was overcome by sudden curiosity. truthfully, you didn't mind as you were a quiet person yourself. and somehow, the communication was effortless, a silent and mutual understanding of your needs. he made you feel comfortable and safe, cared for as he always seemed to sense what you needed. falling in love with choso was easy and so natural, as if you'd been lovers in your previous lives. you'd been a couple for a long time now, but it wasn't until recently that you moved in with him. almost instantaneously, a routine was established - while you were busy with your studies, choso spent most of his time at the tattoo studio he recently opened with his friends. you didn't mind because still, he always made time for you. with no shadow of a doubt, he would always prioritize you before anything. so, every bit of time that you could get was spent together.

as any other day, you woke up alone in your bed, the scent of freshly brewed tea wafting through the air. choso sometimes left early in the morning to work on administrative tasks or tidying the studio but never failed to prepare you a little breakfast beforehand. as you sat up, a wave of nausea overcame you, quickly forcing you to lie down again. it was only then that you noticed you felt strangely cold and your nose was stuffed, shuddering uncomfortably in your clothes. it was rare that you got sick, so everytime it did happen, it drained you rapidly. blindly reaching for your phone, you texted choso, blinking at the bright screen.

me: i think i got sick :( can you pick up some medicine on your way home?

almost instantly, your screen lit up.

choso 💉: ?

"hello?" you croaked as you accepted choso's call and sniffled quietly.

"are you okay? do you want me to come home early?" choso might have sounded indifferent but you knew better. he would never show his concern to you, always wanting to keep his strong and protective persona. he was just that kind of person, he lived to be a good example to others.

"no it's okay, choso. i think it might be a really bad cold, that's all. i'll be fine if i get enough rest."

a hum. choso didn't sound convinced.

"then get some rest, yeah? make sure to have some tea. i'll wrap things up here and come home in a bit. call me if you need anything."

you hummed in agreement, making a weak kissy noise as you said goodbye to him and chucked your phone on the night table. no matter how much you wanted to convince him to continue his work, he would come home regardless. it didn't sit well with him to not care for you while you were sick. a small smile found its way onto your lips, how lucky you were to have found a lover like him. as you drifted off to sleep, choso was quickly finishing his paperwork, earning some amused glances from his friends. it was evident that this had to do with his girlfriend - choso would never let anyone tell him what to do nor do them any favours if it wasn't someone he deeply cared for.

"you're really speedrunning through everything to get back home to y/n, huh? you only got here," geto teased him, looking up from the sketches he was preparing for display.

"she got sick this morning. wanna be there for her in case it gets worse. i don't have any appointments for today anyways so you'll be fine," choso curtly explained, not picking up on geto's teasing undertone. even though they liked to joke about how whipped he was for you, they never questioned him - you were his love, his light. if anything, they envied him for the relationship, a relationship that flowed so effortlessly and easily like a spring working its way through bottlenecks and rocky river beds, silent and yet strong. geto pat choso's shoulder and shot him a knowing look, reassuring him that they could run the studio just fine.

even if you didn't sound like your afflictions were severe, choso still felt uneasy. he wanted to make sure you were okay, wanted to care for you. maybe it was moreso his fear of losing people he loved, but he couldn't deny his caring nature. on his way home, he'd picked up some ingredients to make soup as well as some medicine. music was sounding through the apartment as he entered and placed the bags on the counter, keeping an eye out for you. were you still in bed? he padded towards your shared bedroom, quietly nudging the door open as he squeezed his way in. you were laying on the bed, giggling at a book you were reading, not having noticed him yet.

the bed dipped next to you, making you drop the book you were holding. choso's twin tails came into your vision until you could see the entirety of him hovering above you, scrutinizing your figure in thought. "hi baby," he greeted you with a gentle smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "how are you feeling?"

"kinda achy and cold," you described with a pout, leaning into choso's touch as he brushed your hair with his fingers. "did you bring me some medicine?"

choso nodded, explaining that he'd be making you some soup as it was better not to take the medicine on an empty stomach. he wrapped you in the blanket before disappearing in the kitchen. you listened to the sounds in the kitchen, feeling more at ease now that he was home. you must have fallen asleep as the soup was done, its savoury scent rousing you from your slumber. as the primary cook in this household, choso's cooking skills were excellent and never failed to amaze you. sometimes you couldn't believe he was real. choso kept an eye on you as you munched away, handing you the medicine once you were done. he joined you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you towards him. you were placed on his lap like a baby, making you giggle as you leaned against his chest.

"will you play with my hair?" you requested with a small yawn. choso obliged, weaving his fingers through your hair as he worked through the knots and massaged your scalp. you hummed in relaxation, struggling to keep your eyes open. instead, you focused on the tattoos on his arm that was placed around your waist, tracing the patterns with your fingers. when you first met, the skin on his arm was sparsely filled, he'd only started on completing his sleeve tattoos. it was a slow and gradual process. you were always the first person he'd proudly showed a new addition to, and in a way, the tattoos marked the journey of your relationship. you were thankful for him, thankful to have found someone who silently understood you.

he was too hesitant to ask you just yet as you'd told him years prior that you weren't sure about getting tattoos but you knew he wanted to be the one to give you your first tattoo. maybe you were delirious from your sickness, maybe it was then in that moment that you realized you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, maybe it was your overwhelming love- "choso? i think it's time i get a tattoo soon."

choso's hand came to a halt and he made an incredulous noise. "y/n, i don't think- it might be better if we discuss this when you feel better again."

"no, i'm serious. it's just... i trust you so much. you always take good care of me and you're just always there. i'm uh- i honestly can't imagine my life without you, i just love you so much," you confessed with embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands as you finished talking. choso chuckled as he pried your hands away, pecking your lips in adoration. he looked gleeful, as if hearing your admission of love for the first time - the feeling was mutual, you just couldn't believe he was yours.

"we'll talk about this again when you've fully recovered. but i'm happy that you trust me with this."

"i'll be fine soon, i just need a lot of vitamin c," you giggled hysterically. "vitamin choso."

choso groaned but couldn't stop the laughter tumbling from his lips either, opting to tickle your sides and blowing raspberries into your shoulder. you squealed, trying to push him off you before being pulled back into his arms again. choso buried his head in the crook of your neck, placing a kiss on it. he didn't show you his face, not wanting you to see his teary eyes.

"i love you a lot, you know?"

"i love you more."