#i've probably talked about this before but it bears repeating

[mickeys-malarkey]

[ID: A three-panel comic. In the first panel, a man points at a squiggle painting and says “ha ha what does this represent?” In the second, several of the painting's squiggles have rearranged into an angry face and it's grown an arm and nose to point back at the man, saying “what do you represent?” as the man's hat flies off, his necktie shrivels, and he stares in wide-eyed shock. In the third, the man lies on the floor with X'd-out eyes and the caption reads, “an abstract painting will react to you if you react to it. You get from it what you bring to it. It will meet you halfway but no further. It is alive if you are. It represents something and so do you. YOU, SIR, ARE A SPACE, TOO.” /end ID]

(All this said and 100% correct, as an artist from an artistic family, I just want to quickly mention that some artists make nonrepresentational art purely because nobody's buying the art that they're actually proud of and they need money to… y'know… stay alive. People buy nonrepresentational art much more often than they buy representational art that you slaved over for hours/days/weeks/months/years and/or made because it brought you joy; heck, nonrepresentational art wins contests much more often— not only have I personally had to watch judges give prizes only/mostly to nonrepresentational art but my college Drawing 1 teacher even told us about how one of his previous students had a habit of just smearing leftover paint on mini canvases so that it wouldn't be wasted and decided to give one a pretentious name and enter it in an art show as a joke one time, and it won over the painting that he'd entered because he was genuinely proud of it. Do y'all have any idea how much that stings? The nonrepresentational art you make fun of may have come from or even straight-up created a place of pain and frustration in the artist's soul and y'all should respect that, as well. Want more representational art? Then reward it, for the love of all things good and pure in this goatforsaken universe.)

frankly I think a lot more people would be open to postmodern art if we all stopped pretending you had to be very smart to understand it and start acknowledging that the starting point for deriving meaning from it is frequently ‘this is stupid bullshit’

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Entry 21: A Crowbar Called Love

GIF Credit: @carmen-berzattos

Bearblr Promptober Day 21: Drunk Confession

Summary: Carmy's girlfriend (who he calls Darling) drunkenly confesses something that sends him into a tizzy; that she wants to have his kids.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of trauma, self-doubt, evolving Dad!Carmy, maybe the start of a breeding kink(?), fem reader/generic lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns. (822 words)

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Thank you for reading. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list. Sideblog for commentary and yapping: @m-z-shoroi

Also, if random letters or words are black/white instead of the colors they should be, that's Tumblr being dumb, I've been fighting it for days.

21 Oct 2024

She said she wants to have my babies, and I honestly don't know what in the fuck to do with myself.

How did I get here?

What the fuck did I do to earn that?

What?

How?

I'm a fucking disaster, why the fuck would anyone think I'd make a not-shitty dad?

And she said it in front of Richie and Nat. That asshole is never gonna let me hear the end of it. This is what I get for taking my eyes off the cider for five minutes. Richie probably didn’t even fucking measure before spiking it.

Fuck. My. Life.

I have no business having kids, I'm just gonna end up like ma! No! No! Abso-fucking-lutely not!

Okay, yes, they'd be cute, but this is a terrible idea!

I can’t stop fucking thinking about this. The adoration in her eyes, the way she whispered it into my mouth, the way she pulled my hair and repeated it—whined it—until my brain checked into reality in a confused state. Carmen, I wanna start a family with you. I love you so much. I want babies. Carmy… Carmy, please? Please, can we talk about kids?

It’s the next morning, and I woke up an hour before my alarm, invaded, besieged, strangled by thoughts of cradling her belly, of feeling little kicks against my palm through her soft, supple skin. The thought of baby shoes while I stared at my own, hand trembling as I dragged it through my hair and tried to recompress so I could make it through a workday. What was more was that I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about how wonderful of a mother she’d make. She’d be sweet, kind, understanding, protective, a great advocate, teacher, counselor. I thought of being home with a kid in my arms. Nat’s daughter is so precious, so innocent, so pure. I could have one. A few. And I could do better than ma or dad did.

I wanted to do better than ma and dad did.

I wandered back into the bedroom, leaned against the doorframe and just watched Darling snuggled up in bed, her face buried in my t-shirt, a cute little croissant under the covers. There existed in my mind, sometime before then—couldn’t figure out exactly when it changed—this looming understanding of this arrangement being temporary. This relationship was a ticking clock, a sword dangling over my head by a horsehair, and in all likelihood, I was going to fuck up, and she was going to leave. It seemed like an inevitability. But permanence, comfort, routine, it crept up on me. Could I imagine an existence without Darling? Did a future without her even exist? Did I allow myself to love her so completely, so deeply, that my forever was staked in the ground with her?

Two kids. And a dog. Our own house. It’d be nice if one of them liked cooking, but I wasn’t going to be upset if they wanted to try something else. I’d support them trying new things. I’d reduce my hours at The Bear, too, so I could be around to hug them and read them bedtime stories. My vision abruptly blurred. Droplet of warmth fell from my eyelashes and drew a streak down my face.

Of course, I was fucking crying again.

Ever love someone so much that it hurt? That the love embedded itself so deep into you that it burrowed roots in the same places that all your fucking trauma lived? That it crumbled and frayed the armor of bitterness, apathy, hatred, and anger you’d been using to hold yourself together against the assault of being alive and being so many things the world didn’t like—short, sensitive, warm, caring, quiet, shy? For your curly hair, for your features, for your weird fucking quirks and habits? The world stabbed you in the fucking kidneys for daring to exist, and you walled off yourself behind protective mechanisms to stop the knives going any deeper than they already had, from piercing the softest parts of you; and out of nowhere, this little thing called love shows up as a crowbar and jams under that armor with no ceremony and certainly no warning. It fucking hurts at first. It hurts like you can’t fucking believe or imagine, and it scares the shit out of you because if that armor comes off, you feel like you’ll die, but eventually? Eventually, the armor starts crumbling away, and you feel the saccharine mercy of love in all the places that the armor hurt. Yeah, you thought your trauma was the thing that inflicted agony all these years? Your fucking armor wore chasms in you all the same.

This wasn’t a contest, baby girl, but you win. I surrender. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts, and I can’t get enough of it. So, yeah. Yeah, we can talk about kids.

[halfagone]

That Is Not Superman You're Looking At

I've had this fic idea for a while now. I don't know if it'll ever be posted on Ao3, but if I get more inspiration it could be! Here's a bit of a first look for anyone interested.

---

Danny shouldn't be so surprised that his luck was so terrible that he got Wes Weston looped in as his travel buddy for their school field trip to Metropolis. The guy's been giving him dirty looks in the entire time, as if this is his fault. Well, it wasn't, so Wes could just give up any time now, that would be great. If nothing else, Danny could always turn into Phantom for an emergency, right in front of Wes, and no one would believe the guy.

Nonetheless, nothing could stop his excitement for the Metropolis Aerospace Museum! Absolutely nothing.

And really, no matter Wes' comments or looks, Danny was having a great time. That was, until, Danny noticed that Wes wasn't staring at him anymore. Instead, he was looking over at a man, a reporter judging from the photographer accompanying him, who was probably here talking about all the schools here to celebrate this momentous occasion, yada yada yada.

Danny nearly looked away out of boredom, only to nearly give himself whiplash when he realized who Wes was staring at. That was Clark Kent, aka Superman. Danny had had the pleasure of meeting and learning the man's secret ID in an alternative timeline, but hadn't quite gotten the nerve to meet him again after that fuck-up. But Wes had that look in his eyes, that same look he had whenever he was about to tattle on Danny being Phantom.

Oh shit.

"Isn't that Super-" Wes began with a frown, beginning to point at Clark before Danny threw an arm over Wes' shoulder with a laugh.

"What are you talking about?" Danny said with a wide, almost inhuman smile on his face. "There is no war in Ba Sing Se."

"What-?" Wes startled in confusion, so Danny repeated himself.

"There is no war in Ba Sing Se," Danny said a second time, his eyes taking on an unnatural green glow.

Wes wilted slightly under Danny's arm, finally catching his drift.

"Right, of course not," Wes agreed, rolling his eyes in resigned exasperation.

"You know it," Danny agreed with a nod of his head, starting to drag Wes in the opposite direction of Clark. Better not to poke a sleeping bear, and all that. "Hey, I saw Vick go this way, didn't you want to..." Danny rattled off about some nonsense, just to distract Wes from the fact that he himself knew about Superman's secret ID. Honestly, Wes would probably figure it out on his own, but the longer it took to get there the better.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Clark had heard it all. And couldn't help but wonder how, exactly, that blue-eyed, raven-haired boy had seemed to know his ID from the start. He needed a talk with Batman, just to make sure the man hadn't adopted another kid without anyone knowing.

[kichikichiko]

Hello! I hope you're having a good time,I would like to request Kazuha and scaramouche with a gender neutral reader Who almost died protecting them?

If you don't feel comfortable doing this, don't do it. Thank you so much!

Don't you dare leave me!

HELLO HI EVERYONE! HAPPY (BELATED) NEW YEARS! 😻😻😻🌟🌟🌟

I've had this request in my ask box for MONTHS and Ive planned to write it when I got it but ykkkk life happens.

Ty Anon for sending this in and sorry it took me this long to write your request 💔

Synopsis: How your partner would react to when you risk your life to save them.

Pairing: Kazuha x Gn! Reader and Scara x Gn! Reader

Cw: Semi proof-read, Fluff, headcanon, slight blood mention, cursing for Scara, Established relationship (Kazuha), kiss at the end (Scara)

──────•❥❥❥•──────

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA ¤ Scarlet leaves pursue wild waves

It was around the time the Raiden Shogun declared the vision hunting decree, and right after Kazuha's dear friend Tomo passed trying to withsand the musou no hitotachi.

You were away for training with your teacher. And as you walked home you heard of the commotion on the streets

"That guy died from the Shogun's strike" "what was he thinking?! He is obviously no match for the Shogun"

Hearing all of the whispers made you a little worried. And something told you that it was terrible news. What if that was someone you knew personally?

Assuring yourself that it's probably just some stupid samurai off the streets is what you did. Trying to block out all the whisperd and worries of the city folk.

Until you heard his name from a group of people talking about what just happened. "...Kaedehara...."

Your boyfriend who you haven't seen since this morning. You stopped on your tracks and turned around hoping you heard that wrong.

"What did you say?"

"Pardon?" The person asked.

"The name." You repeated "the name you mentioned before, what was it again?"

"Kaedehara. Kaedehara Kazuha?" The person said confused by your expression growing more and more distraught by the second

"What happened to him? Did he..." you couldnt even get yourself to finish that sentence. You didnt want to believe that HE was the one who challenged the Raiden Shogun

"No dont worry (miss/sir) it's not him who died. Its another guy, but Kaedehara was seen on the scene taking the dead vision and running off. From what I've heard he's running away right now"

Without wasting another second you booked it to the nearest port. You had no idea if he was going to be there as he escaped but it's worth the shot anyways.

Panting and gasping through the bamboo forest while thinking about the fate of your boyfriend isn't the best combination.

"What if he got caught?" "What if he already left?" "What if that stranger was mistaken?" The what if questions were not helping you at all.

So all you did was to hope. Hope that he is still alive, hope that he is still in Inazuma

Your legs were killing you and your lungs feel like they're about to explode if you don't stop running. But you can't

You need to see Kazuha.

As if the Archon's heard your prayers, all of a sudden you hear a guard shouting in a distance "Kaedehara Kazuha you're under arrest under the vision hunting decree!"

"It's him! He's still here!" Relieved he hasn't made it out of Inazuma yet, you started running even faster to the scene.

When you got there you saw Kazuha fighting a bunch of the Shogun's guards left and right. "Kazuha!" You shouted out in relief, as you drew out your katana (sword) and began helping him fight.

You bear no vision, but the adrenaline was pumping into your veins you didnt give a second thought and dove into the fight.

"(Name)??" Kazuha turned around to look at you for a split second. Honestly if it werent for the current condition youre both in, he'd hug you real tight

"How did you find me?" He asked before turning his head around and defend himself from the guards.

"I heard from the city folks hat you ran away after a man died from the musou no hitotachi" you responded, blocking a strike from another guard.

He made a mental note to explain to you the story after the fight is over.

Speaking of which, the fight lasted for quite sometime until all of the shogun's minions were down.

You turned around and hugged Kazuha, throwing your weapon onto the ground.

"I'm so glad youre safe Kaz" you burried your bead into his shoulder, still panting from all that fighting, adrenaline and running.

Kazuha was panting as well, hugging you tighter like never before and kissed your forehead softly "Me too (name), I'm so sorry I didn't come to you sooner and told you anything. Everything happened so fast, I had to leave before I got caught."

You pulled away from the hug and smiled at him softly, your breathing becoming more stable after a while "That's alright, I found you just in time-"

Something was moving behind Kazuha and you couldn't make it what it was until you could.

It was the Shogun's guard again, with a bow and arrow... aimed at Kazuha's back. Your heart dropped

before the guard should release the arrow you pushed Kazuha away and took the hit.

The arrow ended up piercing your shoulder which earned a shout from you. It hurted like hell and blood started flowing out of your shoulder by the minute.

At first you felt dizzy from the blood loss and then everything went dark. You were going in and out, Before you blacked out completely, the first time you saw Kazuha charging up to the guard and fought him. The next time you saw him picking you up bridal style

And the last thing you heard was " (name) Don't you dare leave me!"

♤

The first thing you saw when you woke up was a wooden ceiling above you. "Where am I?" You sat up and hissed from the pain on your shoulder. You took a look at thr soirce of the pain and to your surprise, the wounded area had been wrapped with a compression bandage.

Looking around at the area you realised you ended up on a ship. But how?

Before you could ask more questions, the door in front of you opened, and standing there was Kazuha. The man saw that you were awake and sped walk towards you.

"You're awake! Thank goodness. Don't worry everythings alright. We're on a ship of a pirate captain from Liyue and she got her crew to help stop the bleeding on your shoulder."

Ah, he basically just answered the questions that were popping up in your head. "Looks like we'll have to thank this pirate captain for her hospitality"

You looked at the current condition of your lover. His shoulders were tense and his lips forced into a small smile.

You could tell it was so that you wouldn't be alarmed. And you could tell he was still shaken up by the stunt you pulled earlier.

"I'm sorry my love, for scaring you like that." Placing your hand on his shoulder, then slowly making your way up to his cheek. "I'm safe, youre safe. That's all that matters."

You could see his eyes softening and his shoulders becoming less tense

"Youre right... youre right. You just got me worried back there. I was afraid I might lose you too." He whispered softly, cupping his hand over your hand.

Subconciously he gripped your hand hard enough to make you notice but not hard enough to hurt you.

He didn't have to elaborate any further for you to realise that his dear friend was the one who died.

"I won't leave you here alone dear. That's a promise." pulling him into a hug, which he reciprocated quickly

"What now?" Is a question you both will figure out later.

Right now, the only thing that matters is the two of you.

SCARAMOUCHE/ KUNIKUZUSHI ¤ The Balladeer

Being the Balladeer's assistant was no easy job

Literally.

Having to deal with his yelling, degration, mocks, (tantrums) and bad temper required patience. Lots of it

But no matter how many times he left you out in the snow to freeze, or mocked you in front of everyone, you stayed by him. Honestly no one understood how and why (and neither did Scara but he would never question it)

Partially because the pay is good (the harbingers decided to pay you extra because youre dealing with Scaramouche), partially because you don't get treated as half as bad as his subordinates and because sometimes he isn't so bad in general.

What I mean by "not so bad" is that sometimes, barely, but once in a blue moon. He shows that he cares and appreciates your help and loyalty.

When he was sent out on a mission to Inazuma, you couldn't come to help him due to unfortunate circumstances. He was pissed to say the least

surprisingly not at you but at the higher ups for not allowing you, his assistant to come

he brought you a souvenier from Inazuma. Nothing much and nothing grand, but it is something from your boss so you treasure it.

Another time you got sick with the flu, at first he was pissed (when is he not 💀🖕) but then at night, he came over to give you some soup

By the Balladeer's words it is to "Make you get better soon so you can work again. I can't manage all this shit by myself"

Which you translated it to "I miss your company and I need your help with my tasks"

Either way you appreciated his kindness.

���

Scaramouche and you were sent out on a mission together to the chasm. Usually they wouldn't send the harbingers down there, but an important relic from an unknown lost civilization was found, and the fatui wants to study it.

As the 2 of you were down there, all you (other than trying to find the relic) did was listen to his occasional rants and curses to the other harbingers for sending him on this mission.

"Annoyed as always" you rolled your eyes.

When the relic was found and secured safely, the two of you nodded at each other as a sign that you both should head out as soon as possible

Luckily Scaramouche and you didn't run into any enemies which was....

"Strange" you mumbled to yourself, brows furrowed and eyeing the caves

"What is?" taking a glance behind to look at you as he was right in front of you

"It's just that we haven't bumped into any monsters or enemies during our time here." You started

"There's always enemies down here at the chasm"

Scaramouche shrugged at you "Maybe theyre taking a nice long nap, or maybe they know their place and not to mess with us." He was half sarcastic and half serious. Either way, he wasn't bothered by this at all

You nodded at him. Not necessarily because you agree with him

But mainly because you're quite unsettled about the whole situation to the point where you'd just hope he was right

Something must be wrong with the universe because not long after, a mob of hillichurls showed up

Scaramouche groaned, getting ready to fight "Great you jinxed it."

They were just a bunch of hillichurls so it really didn't take long for Scara to handle it while you guard the relic

"Let's just get out of here before I have to deal with those i-" before your boss could finish his sentence an abyss herald showed up

When it showed up, you drew out your weapon getting ready to fight. He was no easy foe and even if you knew Scara could handle it...

Something was telling you thing's were about to go south.

You and him started fighting the Abyss enemy

Scara with his electro powers and you with your (vision of choice)

"Hey (name) fuck off I can handle this myself you know?!" He shouted at you

"No you can't Scaramouche!" You retaliated, not listening to another word he says because you were getting more and more pissed by his antics "Just shut up and let me help!"

With the way you disobeyed his orders AND talk back at him got him taken aback and angry at you

"Why this little bitch!" He wanted to say

Scara just gave the abyss herald an opening to launch an attack at him

"Scara watch out!" Luckily you saw right on time and threw yourself in front of Scara to protect him

The attack was so bad you started coughing out blood from the impact. Everything started to become blurry and you lost your balance and strength, dropping your weapon in the process

Before you blacked out you heard Scara scream out something you couldn't quite make out and then... total darkness.

♤

"Don't you dare leave me here!" Echoed in your mind before you awoke in a bed in a strange place. This wasn't Snezhnaya and you know it.

"Where am I? And who said that sentence when I was asleep?" You asked yourself, slowly sitting up from the bed with a groan.

The door on your right opened and in came your boss

"Scara..!" You managed to say. Your voice came out soft and sort of like a wheeze. The impact of the attack seemed to affect your ability to talk as well

"Shh. Don't talk. The doctor said your vocal cord needs rest." Making his way to your bed, and sat by the edge

You closed your mouth but it was clear you had many questions. Scara frowed a little but started answering the questions he knows you'll anyways

"We're still in Liyue. I managed to carry you out of the chasm and the relic I handed off to some fatui members I saw on the way to the doctor.... and you've been out for 3 days now. I was..." he paused and looked away

"Starting to get worried." You didn't have to see his face to know that his expression softened.

Now it all makes sense, you now know what Scara said before you blacked out.

"Don't you dare leave me here!" It was also the sentence that echoed in your mind while you were asleep.

You knew long ago that the all so scary Balladeer had developed feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you that made you question but today, this whole incident made it clear to you that the 6th Fatui Harbinger harbours feelings for his assistant.

You did as well of course. Even though he was a pain in the ass sometimes, it feels as if no one understand you more than he does, and likewise.

Scooting closer to the harbinger, you brought your hand up to his cheek and made him face you.

He saw your expression and even though you said nothing, he knew what you meant. "I'm not leaving you here."

You both slowly moved closer and kissed each other, removing all the tension in the balladeers shoulder.

──────•❥❥❥•──────

Request

Masterlist here!

[spockandawe]

Oh, this is interesting. To me. I'm not sure it's interesting to anyone else! But I'm on my computer for once and FULL of words again, and I'm delighted to talk to myself given half an excuse.

So, I made a post about Long Live Evil! Because I cracked open the book and was absolutely taken aback by how transparently it seemed to be an SVSSS reskin. I wrote up a goodreads thing (it's whatever, I'm going to rehash the main points here too), because I was also full of words and beans after finishing the book yesterday, and after polling online friends, I was surprised to see that the comparison didn't seem to have organically occurred to anyone else, when it was so naked to me. I know there’s a TON of transmigration and isekai stories out in the universe, and pointing at one single book was a big claim, so I just had to assemble all my thoughts! I find this so interesting! And I reblogged my initial one-off post with a little more elaboration about some of the things that jumped out at me, then got on with live and went back to chipping at ORV and GHG, and shotgunned MADK this afternoon.

This is a subtle nod and a wink to my passionate love for these kind of... morally grey main characters! Calling them villains might be a bit much, I don't think there are many true villain protagonists out there (LLE included), and even Devil Venerable has a demonic cultivator who's doing demonic shit and killing loads of people... but with the ultimate balance of the heavens and earth as his priority. This kind of story is my jam. I was recced this book on the basis of transmigration and sketchy protagonists being my thing. I can't rightfully call SVSSS the best cnovel I've ever read, but it is my favorite. And I've probably reread it more times than any other cnovel.

So, that SRB post, huh? I put Long Live Evil behind me, and honestly even following up on the sequel is mmmmmdoubtful, but THIS snagged my attention again. First, the comparisons she's calling out as incorrect are wild to me. Draco and Harry? What? Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian?? (I had to ponder that one for a hot minute, but I bet you anything it's about 'the golden cobra' and 'the last hope' and that's just silly, they're not wangxian, they're MOSHANG)

I was recced LLE in one friend group, but I had an anti-rec from my book club friend group. My book club friend hadn't been at all impressed by it! And she's cool, and I talk up svsss and mxtx to that crowd every so often, without really expecting them to read it. I talk about transmigration as a plot device that I love, and the things that can be done with it! But with that connection in mind between the books, as I started LLE, I was jokingly defending the honor of SVSSS to this crowd, so I admit I was primed to recognize similarities.

I really truly did not make it far in the book before locking it down. I was getting vibes basically from the moment Rae started gushing about her problematic fictional fave, I referenced 95% certainty shortly after she makes the jump to the fictional universe, the golden cobra was 98%, Lia Mingyan's, I mean Liu Mingyan's lack of sex scenes was 99%, and the first pov section for Marius-jun was where I gave up and called it as a sure thing.

It'll be very funny if I'm wrong! I don't think I'm wrong.

Plenty of spoilers to follow, because I identified this inspiration early, I guessed basically every plot twist early, I don't have the patience to dance around spoilers while explaining how it all lines up.

Now, I said this elsewhere, but it bears repeating: I don't think this is plagiarism. I think it's tasteless to accuse an author of stealing and repurposing characters to her face. But I think it's also tasteless to repurpose characters as nakedly as happened here! Again? If I'm wrong? That's why I'm talking to myself on my blog and not messaging her directly (?????? who even does that). What are the stakes for me being wrong here? I look like a clown online? That would be terrible, I've never done that before! It's not a crime to write in ways I find distasteful. It's not a crime to write a book I think is not good, even apart from the use of fictional influences. But I like talking about my feelings online, and I can't be stopped!

But there's two aspects of this that make me somewhat uncomfortable in a less fun way. Both are contingent on the big IF. If this is inspired by svsss, I think it's not a classy move to take a Chinese story in a Chinese setting, inspired by the modern Chinese literary scene and classical Chinese fantasy, and just dump the characters into a generic western setting. Fanfic? Have fun and try to be respectful. Profic, making money off it? Ehhhhh. The question of how much change is necessary is a tricky one! It's not one I'm equipped to answer, this is not my wheelhouse or my place to speak. But it doesn't make me feel good!

However, here's where I have more personal stake:

Again, if this is inspired by svsss. It really doesn't feel great to see a queer story (a smash hit in more than one country!) stripped down for parts and made into a heterosexual story. It's not all heterosexual, we get side lesbians, we get men with homoerotic tension. But the central ship is now a guy and a girl. And it... stings a little extra, because in the story of svsss, the idea of assumptions about default (hetero)sexuality are such a central theme. A queer man has written a trashy, oversexed stallion novel where the hottest guy in the universe collects the hottest women like pokemon, and it sells so much better than the more personal stories he tried to write. He has to write this pandering trash to make money to live, he can't live on the more authentic stories he tried to tell before. The protagonist is the projection of his own insecurities and self-hate, and the protagonist's right hand man is his projection of his own ideal man. Another man transmigrates into the book, assuming that he himself is straight, assuming the protagonist is straight, and the force of their love changes the course of the entire narrative. In retrospect, it's upsetting to see those load-bearing themes casually carved out of the story and the hollowed-out remains used like this.

Anyways, in their place, now we've got running gags about how the heroine's tits are BIGHUGE now and she can't keep her balance because her GIANT HONKERS keep tipping her over.

I'm a little more bothered than I was yesterday! On the other hand, since I saw SRB's post, I've been chewing on that central ship. Full disclosure, it was one of my favorite aspects of the novel! My other favorite aspect is the dynamic between the golden cobra and the last hope (the moshang, which I think some people misdiagnosed as wangxian).

I know that the central ship here is the thing that's LEAST comparable to svsss, and the biggest roadblock in the way of my theory. On the other hand, I think it was the thing that HAD to change if this story was going to repurpose svsss without getting called out for being a classic 'bro can i copy your homework' adventure.

For this section, let's assume that I'm right and let's roleplay an author trying to figure out how to change Bingqiu into something not-obviously-Bingqiu. How do we need to differentiate Rae and Key from Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe.

First, we eliminate the martial sect thing. Easy peasy! That's a wuxia concept, and this book goes full nondescript western fantasy. She's not his teacher, he's not her student. And if she's not his teacher and he's not her student, why does this woman have power over this man, to build up the resentment that inspires him to turn the tables on her later? Well, in nondescript western fantasy, she's a noblewoman of some kind, and he's a servant of some kind. Noble lady treats servant like garbage, servant resents her. Doing great.

And to loop back around to the beginning of this a little, I think it really is key to this reskinning that Rae is a SHE. If the central ship remained queer, it would be so, so hard to pull away from the most identifiable thematic aspects of svsss. And pieces of what remain are... kind of bizarre for a normie heterosexual ship where our protagonist is aware that she's transmigrated into an impossibly desirable sexpot character!

Shen Qingqiu never considers that Luo Binghe might be interested in him because Luo Binghe is about to have a HAREM of beautiful women, he's the most heterosexual man of all time, and Shen Qingqiu is straight too! Besides, Shen Qingqiu is his teacher! He half-raised Luo Binghe! Even if Luo Binghe was bent, he wouldn't be interested in an old man like Shen Qingqiu!

Rae is 20, occupying a 24-year-old body. Her character's sexiness is relentlessly remarked upon from start to finish. Key is 18. Why is Rae so sure that he looks up to her as... a mentor, as an older woman? He almost goes down on her! He makes out with her! And she's like 'ah yes, it means nothing. lol. so funny how these things happen.' Bruh, at least after Luo Binghe kissed Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu finally got hit with the clue stick. Binghe didn't try to blow him only for Shen Qingqiu to keep noodling on about how Binghe definitely isn't into him in any sense, even the most oblivious man in the universe managed to catch on.

Why doesn’t Rae think there’s any chance of genuine attraction here? Yeah, I get that she's coming back from terminal cancer. She's doing great. She knows that the fictional character she occupies is one of the most desirable ladies in the land. He’s a teenager. He’s not expressing disinterest. A lack of horny for sexy lady ought to be more surprising for her. But I guess she’s slightly older than him and that small age gap has been magnified by the transmigration, so she conceptualizes herself only as his teacher, I mean mentor.

I’m not even mad at this dynamic. I love their chemistry, the ‘boss’ thing is cute, but lordt, I have to wonder if it’s meant to substitute for ‘shizun.’ But you know where this comparison really falls apart? Key isn’t really THAT much Luo Binghe.

At least, he isn’t in terms of personality. I mean, we’ve got the mysterious magical heritage, the healing factor, the unbeatable fighting skills, being beaten repeatedly because of the protagonist (tbh it’s sexier when she’s responsible, rather than just being a bystander), being yeeted into the abyss, I mean the ravine, to rise again and assume power as the merciless ruler of all the land. Oh, and he comes back from the dead still bearing the scar that represents her betrayal. In the original novel, he turned on her the moment he got his opening and was responsible for coming up with her gruesome torment.

(Also, Shen Qingqiu being terminally ill isn’t canon, but it’s very popular fanon, and it’s hard to ignore that with how hard the narrative lingers over Rae’s terminal illness as her gateway into this fictional world)

But! But the things that are different! Luo Binghe is a smart and sweet teenager, who had a rough start on the streets and has a tragically deceased single adoptive parent, but that’s their only backstory parallel, he doesn’t blacken until he’s thrown into the abyss. Not like Key, Key is a murder-happy sociopath, a former street kid who fought the odds and made good, and who’s a lot sharper and cleverer than the upper classes think someone like him should be. He utterly destroyed a righteous cultivator clan, I mean glassblowing guild, for the sake of revenge. Once our heroine scores a number of trust points with him, we unlock secret backstory about how as a small child, he experienced deeply formative hand trauma.

He’s Xue Yang.

It took me a moment to process the wangxian allegations SRB mentions in her post, because I was trying to figure out how someone would be aware of wangxian, and read that backstory, and somehow miss it. But it’s fine, I’m pretty sure they were actually talking about the golden cobra and the last hope! So LET’S TALK MOSHANG.

It was so funny. I was liveblogging the book to friends, because honestly, I do not jive with the buffy-esque joss whedon relentless quip-quip-quip writing style. I was struggling to stay engaged when the narrative never took a moment to breathe. And I perked up at the introduction of this new character! He seemed kind of fun, kind of meta, Key came over to share Secret Info with him, and I messaged the friend who recced this to me (also an svsss appreciator) ‘lol, what if he’s shang qinghua. just straight from svsss shang qinghua.'

Reader, a second transmigrator has hit the narrative.

Now, in some ways, he’s a disappointment to me. He’s not nearly as interesting as Shang Qinghua. Adding the author to their own narrative is way more fascinating to me than just dropping a rando into the story. But I’ll take what I can get, I think multiple transmigrators are almost always a fun decision. And for the queer reasons I mentioned above, I think Shang Qinghua ties into the themes of his novel a lot more strongly than Eric does here. I don’t want to call him ‘the golden cobra’ every time, I get more self-conscious every time I write it. And honestly, the reveal of Eric’s full Eric Whatever name feels a little awkward and… pointed compared to the sheer opacity of Shang Qinghua’s existence. Never mind what his name was in the real world, we don’t even know his name before he was a Peak Lord. I’m not upset we got a name or anything, it would make certain fannish activities a lot easier if Shang Qinghua had additional canon names, but it was an interesting detail in light of how parallel the characters are.

Okay! He’s not the author! He’s still a super-fan. He transmigrated into the book years before the LLE main character, and has settled in pretty well. According to canon as Rae knows it, he’s fated to be killed by his own favorite character. He’s fast-thinking and fast-talking, and scattered and all over the place, but dangerous when cornered and more competent than he looks. He deals in information and manages a network of spies. He’s a creative! He and the main character banter relentlessly and get along like a house on fire. He and the king’s trusted ice-cold right hand man share a weird codependent dynamic that’s part hostile, part homoerotic.

Marius has complicated feelings about not-shang-qinghua. Eric is a coward, he’d rather talk fast and lie than stand up for anything, he cowers and cringes and isn’t honorable. He and Mobei-jun also shared a deeply formative experience in their youth, where as a teenager in distress, Eric/Shang Qinghua appeared before them and announced their devotion. In Shang Qinghua’s case, it was offering to serve him (and saving him from huan hua injuries), and in Eric’s case, it was declaring him to be his favorite character (and saving him from sad teenaged isolation), but man. And in the end, after a long, fraught relationship, Marius/Mobei-jun is furious and strangely distraught when Eric/Shang Qinghua abandons him.

Guys, it’s not wangxian.

I think it hits less hard when Marius’s themes of family violence aren’t allowed to sit directly in the narrative, and when it seems like some vague berserker rage thing rather than Linguang-jun just bluntly wanting to murder him for practical reasons, but hey! This was still, genuinely, one of my favorite parts of the story. I wanted more more more of them, I would read this moshang au any day.

After that, the parallels get a little more nebulous! The comparisons between the abyss and the ravine are pretty obvious. I’m not sure why we decided to build our city and palace right on top of the pit of people-eating ghouls rather than literally anywhere else, but it means we don’t need to take a special field trip to Jue Di Gorge, which means we can do the bait and switch where it turns out Key was a heavenly demon all along. The temperamental King Octavian, the young master of the palace, one might even say the xiao gongzhu if they were feeling spicy, jealously tries to romantically monopolize half our main ship and has the other half flogged with a magic whip.

I already mentioned that Rae brings up that Liu Mingyan — wait, I said I’d change some answers so it wasn’t obvious I copied — Lia doesn’t get a sex scene in the books even though loads of other people did, just like Shen Qingqiu praises Liu Mingyan for her untouchable image in such an oversexed, gratuitous book. I don’t think it would be right to call Liu Mingyan a white lotus heroine in either SVSSS or PIDW, but her archetype is in that wheelhouse, and Lia is just a white lotus rival played straight (and played deliberately, another touch I liked). We don’t have made up animals like black moon rhinoceros pythons in LLE, but we do have leucrotas, which are like a lion and a hyena and serve no narrative purpose.

Oh, you know what else I forgot to mention? Rae gives Key one of her red ruby earrings, and he refuses to sell it, and stubbornly holds onto it until the bitter end. Is this Xue Yang holding onto the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, or is it Hua Cheng determinedly keeping Xie Lian’s red coral earring with him even through his own death? Por que no los dos?

There are things that are original in here. I know that this presentation undersells how much of the book is original. The trouble is, almost everything I thought was good is something that either was lifted from another person’s creative endeavors, or is being tainted by association with all the other naked lifts. Some of the noble ladies have an archery contest! That’s pretty new and fresh, huh? We didn’t have any archery contests in SVSSS!

Yeah, but we sure did in MDZS. And MDZS is already in play, because we’ve already got one character who’s just copy and paste Xue Yang.

There’s a thermocline of trust in this book that fell off for me sharply, and it turned a lot of this into a guessing game of ‘wait NOW what the refrance? owo'

I’m probably on a hair trigger by now, but I’ve also probably missed some things. And I’m sure this is a synthesis of multiple influences, because most stories are. But this feels like cooking and trying to season your dish with a little salt and then the container lid just falls off.

Emer isn’t a clear parallel to an existing character! Love that for her! Love a lady with an axe, especially if she gets a nice girlfriend! On the other hand, in terms of backstory? Wow, she’s been raised with our protagonist since early childhood, as not-quite-foster-siblings, but she was always the clear unfavorite and harbors a lot of resentment over that. Oh, and once Rae entered the story, Rae started trying to speedrun an enemies to 'hello hiiii we should bestiessss' arc with her. I think she had to have an axe, because a whip or a sword would make the Jiang Cheng and/or Liu Qingge vibes a little uncomfortably strong. She doesn’t follow their character arcs! But the disappointing thing is that it felt like she was just there to facilitate pasting the frankenstein patchwork of the narrative together rather than having an arc of her own.

(why did Marius stop to give her a sword lesson? Why did she immediately sneak onto the roof to eavesdrop on the king?? It’s hard to give her credit for being an original character when none of her original actions make sense in the greater universe)

Oh, I almost forgot, we’ve even got magic plot macguffin plants. While Binghe is in the abyss, Shen Qingqiu needs to get the Sun And Moon Dew Flower Seed so he can build an escape hatch for himself before Binghe wrecks his shit. Rae, on the other hand, needs to secure the Flower of Life and Death by an arbitrary deadline as an escape hatch so she can go back to her original life rather than being trapped here forever. Very different! There’s even little side tangents about how these plants can be so beneficial to others, Zhuzhi-lang is desperately trying to secure a seed to build a new body for Tianlang-jun (which Shen Qingqiu enables him to do, despite not knowing what he wants it for), and Rae thinks about how the flower could “save someone on the very doorstep of death,” and gives it away for that exact purpose. So different!

I need to cut myself off, otherwise I’ll keep going. Truly, there is original content in here. It was just all the stuff I didn’t like. The character quipping was. God. There sure was a lot of it! By sheer volume, that’s a lot of original content. Some of the extended cast was interesting, I enjoyed the Horrors and their brothers, I liked Valencia. Now, I didn’t like how basically every girl ADULT WOMAN in this cast was in shitty teen mean girl mode. I didn’t like how immature every character interaction period was. I lost track of how many times Rae was going around in sexy clothes and rando servants were like “HARLOT,” out loud about a favored noblewoman, you know, as you do. Especially when her bodyguard is pulling against his choke chain just waiting for an excuse to do a murder. I don’t need Rae to be the picture of flawless maturity. But nobody is mature, full stop, not even the set dressing servants.

For a less loaded example, the cumplane friendship dynamic is here, practically intact. Shen Qingqiu can't snipe about authorial choices, because Eric isn't the author, so instead Rae and Eric squabble about favorite scenes and favorite ships and such. But it isn't nearly as charming when we don't see these two characters dropping their dignified Peak Lord cultivator roleplay to talk shit with each other. Rae and Eric never have a filter once in this book. They are always Like This, it isn't a secret face that gets unlocked when they're bouncing off each other, they are never circumspect, never have a filter, never have any idea they shouldn't be speaking their full thoughts at full volume 24/7. Even after this starts to have material consequences when they're inevitably overheard! It's an immersion-breaking level of immaturity, which is terribly frustrating when the original dynamic that I loved is only changed in such minor ways.

And another thing that actually tastes way more sour than it did on first reading – Valencia is probably the least mean girl of all the women in the cast. She’s delightful. Too bad that in every scene but her last one, Rae, who repeatedly references her own experiences having her body and appearance ravaged by cancer, cannot for love or money stop talking about how uggo Valencia is.

I know this is an adult novel. The characters are, by age, adults. There’s almost an oral scene. God, I wish we’d gotten the oral scene. But by every other metric, the characters are all high schoolers and I’m an exhausted adult muttering to myself ‘they’ll grow out of it, please GOD let them grow out of it.’

Again, none of this is a crime! Nobody forced me to finish the book! And I did enjoy the book. Parts of it! But that very distinct partial enjoyment experience almost forced me to dissect my own emotional response. And truly, other than a few flashes like Valencia, almost everything I enjoyed about the book was something I could trace directly back to one author, and mostly to one book by that one author. I… enjoyed half of the book. And if I can track most of that half back to mxtx and svsss, I really think that says something about how much wasn’t done to make the inspiration behind this book the author’s own.

It's disappointing! I read this book because I like svsss, I read it because I want more books like svsss, I read it because I trawl the novelupdates tags looking for more books that will hit me the way svsss did. It doesn’t taste good to be served reheated svsss with expired buffy sauce drizzled on top. It tastes even less good once I have a minute to think about what turning an m/m meditation on sexuality and self-image and assumptions about others into a m/f snooze does to the themes I loved so much. It stings to see an author rehash a book that was/is so important to me, and see what they kept and what they threw out, and be like ‘oh, so… these were the elements that mattered to you?’

Again, I hate to be redundant with this, but. I think calling this book plagiarism would be overdoing it. I think it’s tasteless. I don’t think being tasteless is a crime. It remains wild to me that she’s getting messages calling out her supposed inspiration, even if I’m simultaneously criticizing the judgment of the people making those specific comparisons. And I ABSOLUTELY understand why she’s reluctant to own up to the specific inspirations behind this book, because good lord. If it was me, I’d be professionally embarrassed too.

It’s not my job to be the book quality police, but I think someone as experienced as this should be able to do a better job of synthesizing inspirations into something original. I dropped ‘can’t afford to offend my scheming disciple’ earlier this year, because that narrative couldn’t shake the taste of stale svsss fanfic, and it was much more subtle than this is. Once again, if I’m wrong, this post will be retroactively VERY funny and I’ll be all ears to see what her inspirations actually were. I don’t think I’m wrong.

[itsabouttimex2]

I've been brainrotting on your LSO au so much and the bot is very fun to mess with. I've been brainstorming angst comfort, etc in my head, and I gotta ask

If Clover met Monkey King, and asked him to train them, since the Monkie Knight is, ahem, 'postponing' their training, would Monkey King do it? If he did, would MK find out? How would he feel about that? Especially since one of Wukong's way of training is just to throw them into battles

I don't know if this counts as a request, or a question, so take it as either!

Let’s Start Over:

Second Option

(Part One) (Part Two)

“I’m not mad at them,” the Monkie Knight hisses into the phone, gripping the metal tightly. “I’m not mad at them. I wouldn’t go to confront my own student if I was still mad.”

Mei giggles from her side of the line, lighthearted and airy. “You sound mad, dude.” The sound of metal clinking and fire hissing emanates from the background- she’s probably getting her bike worked on. “Like, super mad. Like you’re about to blow your lid.” Even after a full decade, she hadn’t lost her sisterly teasing and frequent ribbing.

“I’m not mad,” MK repeats. “I can’t be mad at Y/N. I did the same thing when I was a kid.”

“But you’re calling them by their first name, though?! You only do that when you’re mad, MK!”

“Or when things get serious. And if my kid might be in danger, then things are serious.”

“…promise you won’t blow up at the kid, alright? They came to me for advice before running off, so it’s not like they were running around recklessly.”

He’s not surprised to hear that. You had dubbed his best friend as “Auntie Mei”, and frequently went to her for help that he couldn’t provide, or information that he might be a little embarrassed to provide. Not that the Monkie Knight wouldn’t sit through an awkward chat about bodily functions or crushes with you, of course. Just that Mei was much better at it.

“I swear, Mei. Clover is just a kid- making the same mistake I made. I’m not gonna get mad at them. I’m worried sick because I haven’t seen them since yesterday, and they weren’t happy with me.”

“They’re… the kiddo’s out at that new burger place with the Monkey King.”

“…with who? With who?”

“Look, I’ve got the restaurant cam pulled up right now- I’m making sure nothing happens. They just ordered their food.”

“Nothing is happening?”

“Nothing,” she reassures. “They’re just treating the kid to a meal.”

“…thanks, Mei. Talk to you soon. Friday?”

“…yeah. Yeah, Friday works fine.”

MK smiles, just a little. He’s gotta be better for you. No letting his close relationships fray. He can’t set the example that fighting and living alone is acceptable. You need to learn to rely on others, so he has to put his best foot forward with at least a few people.

He has to be better for you.

———————————————————————-

“Aww, you’re the sweetest! But I’m not sure MK would want me doing that, bud. He’s pretty insistent on teaching you without help.”

You look away from the Monkey King with a sigh, focusing instead the basket of fries in front of you. You haven’t had much of an appetite recently. Lunch was especially miserable, given that your mentor insisted on big meals to promote proper muscle growth and high amounts of energy.

“Oh, don’t look so down! Look, MK’s just trying to do what’s best for you, alright? If he’s putting your training on hold, it’s probably what’s best for you. Here, lemme see your wrists…”

Sun Wukong takes your hands gently, turning them over to observe your still-bruised skin. His thumbs drag reassuringly across your knuckles, offering some small comfort.

“You haven’t even healed yet, kiddo. MK is just a little worried still, okay? He’s got your safety in mind, trust me. That’s what all of this is for.”

His hand drifts over one palm, the seal crackling into sight. And though a slight frown mars his exuberant face, the king fights it off to reassure you.

“I’m sure things’ll get better once you’re all fixed up, okay? You can bear with it a little longer- I know you can, Y/N.”

“Of course they can. They don’t have a choice.”

Both of you whip around to see MK stood near the table, his foot tapping impatiently. Arms folded over his chest, the man leans forward to meet Wukong’s eyes.

“Any reason you’ve got my kid miles from home without telling me, Monkey King?”

Though he expects to see anger, Wukong finds worry and exhaustion on the man’s face instead. Sleepless nights and long patrols.

Maybe it’s time the king stepped in, huh?

“Hey, hey- let’s talk outside, alright? No arguing in front of the kid.”

The simian leaps over the table with a fluid start, clearing it without trouble. He lands easily in front of a very unamused MK.

“…fine. Outside. As for you- I want to see you at least halfway through that basket by the time I’m back inside. Do not make me say it again.”

Folding under your mentor’s stern tone, you snatch a handful of the greasy appetizer and a condiment package, tucking in without a word. MK tries to remake the best out of even a bad situation- getting you to fill your stomach after a long period spent rejecting food makes him a little less upset about the whole thing.

“Are you mad?” Is the tentative question from between your lips.

“I’m not mad. Stay here and eat, Clover. Can you do that for me?”

With a nod, you return to the basket of fries, grabbing more packages from the end of the table. He’s angry (somewhat) at Wukong, not you. He wouldn’t still be calling you ‘Clover’ if he was.”

The Great Sage doesn’t have the same worried and upset expression- he reaches put to ruffle his old student’s hair, grinning ear to ear. With a lopsided smirk, he hauls MK away from the table and out of the burger joint.

And though the renowned Knight wants to launch into a lecture, or maybe even get physical- Sun Wukong interrupts his intentions with a big hug.

“I missed you, bud! I’m glad you’ve been doing well, huh? Sorry I haven’t been staying in touch with you!”

The hero freezes for a moment, overwhelmed by the sudden surge of warmth and unconditional support. God, when was the last time that he was just held? He really should be tearing into Wukong for taking you so far from home without permission or notice, but… it’s so hard to focus on anything but just how right the world feels at the moment.

“You… you need to leave a note next time. Or- or send a text. I worry. You know that I worry about everything.”

“I know,” the king chuckles, holding the knight like he was still a kid. “I know, bud. Just take a minute to catch your breath. I’ve gotcha, MK.”

“…you’ve got me?”

“Always, bud.”

MK allows himself to go slack, collapsing in the warm arms of the sunny simian. Wukong hauls him back inside, waving to you with a smile. He props the man against your side and slides into the booth with a hearty laugh, slowly rubbing his back.

“It’s gonna be okay, bud. Everything is gonna be okay.”

If he were less tired, less worried, less “running on four hours of sleep”, MK might have not believed him. He might’ve put up more of a fight. But his head is foggy, his limbs are already limp.

So MK puts his trust into the king once more, and chooses to close his eyes.

And for just a moment for the first time in months, maybe years- his life is peaceful.

[hongcherry]

pretty please (hear me out) || c.sc

Seungcheol's four weeks after the Big Argument™ in Chapter 5.

💔 Pairing: Seungcheol x Reader (f) 💔 Rating/Genres/AUs: NC-17; Angst, college au, Pretty Please Couple 💔 Warnings: Reader has she/her pronouns, implications of slut-shaming, name-calling, bullying 💔 Word Count: 2.8k 💔 Author’s Note: Been in the drafts for ages and I've finally finished it 😪

pretty please masterpost | seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

this blog is 18+. minors do not interact. plz & ty!

Seungcheol knows he royally fucked up.

He knows he just said the stupidest shit ever in his life.

He knows he may have just lost you forever.

He wants to slam his fist into the drywall to expel all the frustration he’s feeling. His legs urge him to chase Jeonghan’s car so he can convince you to talk to him.

He just wants to make this right.

“You gonna talk about what just happened?” Chan inquires while watching Seungcheol pace his living room.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Seungcheol growls.

“What did you do?” Jun asks.

“I—” Seungcheol begins to reply, but just recalling his dumbass words makes him halt and huff instead.

“Take a breath, hyung. I’m sure you two can make up,” Chan tries to reassure.

“Here’s some water,” Soonyoung says, coming back from the kitchen and offering a cold glass.

Seungcheol mutters a thanks and takes a long swig. Despite the coldness feeling refreshing to his heated body, he doesn’t calm down.

There’s a knock at the door that startles everyone. Seungcheol slams the glass down and rushes to open it.

In his mind, he knows it’s not really you, but in his heart, he hopes it is.

“I’m back,” Jeonghan says sheepishly. “And I come bearing a gift.”

Jeonghan slowly raises Seungcheol’s car keys. Seungcheol snatches them and tries to make a beeline for his car, but Jeonghan stops him with a hand on his chest.

“I would give her some time,” he explains.

Seungcheol shakes his head. “No, I need to apologize to her.”

Jeonghan eases him into the apartment again, locking the door.

“You know she’s not going to listen to you,” he sighs.

“He’s got a point,” Jun interjects timidly.

“Yeah, you’re both really upset. You two should calm down before having any conversation,” Soonyoung adds.

Seungcheol’s first response is to ignore them. He doesn’t want his words to linger in your mind more than they already have. He doesn’t want you to see him as a bad person despite it might be too late.

He’s just eager to save the good pieces of the relationship before they get tarnished too.

But he knows his friends are right.

He’ll probably make matters worse.

Seungcheol tosses his keys on the stand and staggers to his seat again.

“Did she get home safe?” Seungcheol asks Jeonghan after a moment of tense silence.

Jeonghan nods.

“Good,” he mumbles.

The room falls silent. No one says a word and the air grows thicker as each minute passes.

Finally, Soonyoung says, “Is there anything we can do for you?”

Seungcheol continues to stare a hole into his flooring. A lot is being processed in his mind and he’s starting to feel numb.

“No,” he answers dully.

Soonyoung glances at Jeonghan as if silently asking for help.

Jeonghan sighs. “Maybe we can help lessen the situation if you tell us what happened,” he tries.

Seungcheol leans forward, elbows on his knees and head planted in his hands.

“I basically called her a campus whore,” he huffs out.

“W-What?” Jun and Chan gasp in unison, only making Seungcheol’s heart heavier with guilt.

“Did she do something that made you say that?” Jeonghan wonders.

“I thought she told Dae she was a virgin, and I found that hard to believe. I said some stupid shit after.”

They’re quiet again for some time.

Seungcheol, unable to stand the judgmental silence, pushes himself from his seat to pace the room again. Images of you in the same room appear in his mind—the scene playing out once more.

“Do you really think she’s a,” Chan trails off, not wanting to repeat Seungcheol’s words.

“No, so I don’t know why I said it,” he groans.

“Maybe you believe the rumors more than you think you do,” Soonyoung says.

“It doesn’t help Hajun, Hana, and Doyun talk down on her, too,” Jun adds.

“They’ve always been the gossipers.” Soonyoung frowns.

Seungcheol groans as he falls back in his seat, defeated.

“She’s never going to forgive me,” he insists.

“Give her some time. Hopefully, once you both talk, it’ll get better,” Chan says.

“Just show you’re sorry and make sure she knows you don’t actually believe what you said,” Soonyoung chimes in.

“I doubt she’ll even listen to me for five minutes,” Seungcheol scoffs, annoyed he put himself in this position.

“She definitely won’t right now, which is why you need to give her space,” Jeonghan says.

“Let’s go eat. Maybe some food will help you think about how to fix this,” Jun suggests.

Although Seungcheol wants to stay indoors and have guilt consume him, he agrees to go. Maybe it will help.

Seungcheol watches you detour from him on campus for the sixth time. It’s been nearly two weeks and you refuse to speak to him. Hell, you act as if seeing him will burn your eyes out. He’s become a plagued rat to you.

You want nothing to do with him.

He knew you were upset and would ignore him the first few attempts, but he didn’t expect you to drop him from your life completely.

He just needs five minutes of your time. He needs you to know he deeply regrets the words he said. He hasn’t been able to think of a way to prove it to you, but he figures putting distance between him and Hajun would be a good start.

“No luck?” someone asks behind him.

Seungcheol turns to see Joshua.

“I think she’s done with me,” Seungcheol replies, gaze still on the spot where you had turned the corner.

“She’ll come around,” he says.

Seungcheol shakes his head. “No, I don’t think she will.”

As he says those words, another chip falls from his broken heart. He hadn’t realized how much he had grown to like you until you stormed out his door that weekend. Sure, he knew he liked you more than a friend, but not to this extent.

Though perhaps he’s feeling so strongly because you paint him as a villain. He hates knowing you think so badly about him. He said some very untrue, very fucked up shit, but he’s not a bad person.

At least he hopes he’s not.

Joshua places a friendly hand on Seungcheol’s shoulders.

“Don’t be so sure,” Joshua says.

Seungcheol finally looks at his friend. There’s not much hope in his eyes.

Seungcheol stares at the flood of messages he’s sent you.

Still no response.

Sighing, he exits out of the app and sets his phone down. Maybe he’s just digging himself a deeper hole. Maybe all the texts and attempted talks irritate you. Perhaps all you think about is that damned conversation when you see his name or see his face. There’s a possibility you’ll never forgive him.

“You’ve barely started,” Hajun says as she leans over to his side of the table. Her gaze is on the open document on the screen. He’s only managed to type four paragraphs in the past hour.

“We have to turn this in in two weeks,” she continues with a disapproving expression.

Seungcheol subtly scoots away.

“I know,” he replies. “I’ll get my part done in time. Don’t worry.”

Hajun doesn’t take the hint and stares at him.

“Is something going on with you? You’ve been distracted in class and… slower with finishing your work,” she observes.

“Nothing you need to know about,” Seungcheol says.

“Everything okay with your family?” she questions.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about me.”

She frowns and rests her hand over his. Her touch lacks the warmth and jittery feelings he used to get from someone else.

“I can’t help it,” she says. “I care.”

“Plus, if you slack off, we have to pick up the work,” Doyun teases.

“I said I’ll get it done.” Seungcheol’s tone is a bit firmer. He slides his hand from Hajun’s and stands up.

“I’m going to get something to drink,” he announces. After closing his laptop, he steps out of the study room. His mind takes him back to when you stood outside this very same room. You were dressed in such bright colors that you looked out of place. However, he hadn’t felt like you were. It had felt right to have you so near.

Now, the hallway is empty.

Just like his heart.

When Seungcheol sees you in the cafeteria two days later, he turns away.

His heart seems torn in two. One half screams at him to stomp over and recite the speech he’s created in his head; the other half says it’s too late for redemption.

He isn’t putting in the towel, but he’s giving you the space you want. He’s decided to stop pestering you with text messages and campus visits. It’s obvious his advances aren’t doing him any good. If he ends up frustrating you more, you’ll never hear him out. Maybe you need to come to him instead.

But maybe you never will.

Seungcheol’s appetite dissipates. He walks back to the business building, finds a quiet place to sit, and falls asleep slumped to the side. The last memory he has before greeting slumber is holding you from behind after Seoah had left the living room in his apartment. He remembers teasing you and feeling content with his arms around you. He wonders if he’ll ever get that opportunity again.

Seungcheol sulks at the grade glaring at him.

He’s had worse, but it’s been a few years since he got them.

A shoulder bumps into him. He sets down his phone and looks up. Hajun smiles, pointing to his phone.

“I got a 93. Did I finally beat you?” she teases.

Seungcheol nods his head.

Hajun’s smile grows as she leans over his table.

“Really?” she asks.

“Yeah,” he says, lacking her enthusiasm.

“So, what’d you get?” she questions and takes the empty seat beside him.

“A 66,” he answers, shifting his gaze away.

Hajun gasps. “You’re not playing a game with me, are you?”

“No,” he sighs.

She pauses for a moment then leans in close like she’s about to tell him a secret.

“Is it because of Yn?”

There’s a subtle distaste when she says your name that makes him annoyed.

“Not everything is because of her,” he replies.

“Maybe, but a lot,” Hajun says.

Seungcheol turns his gaze to her. “Like?”

“For starters your low grades,” she replies unhesitatingly. Seungcheol begins to instantly regret asking. “Then, there’s your cranky attitude. You’ve been in a sour mood for weeks.”

She shifts closer to inspect him. Seungcheol moves away, not liking how much she’s in his bubble.

“Wait, I haven’t seen her lately. Is that why you’re… like this?” Hajun asks. She tries to mask the disgust she feels, but Seungcheol notices it.

“Where has she been? Too busy with that silly fashion show?” she continues.

“It’s not silly,” Seungcheol says.

Hajun gives him a look of disbelief. “Seriously? Her whole major is silly.”

Seungcheol takes a deep breath to calm himself down. At first, Seungcheol also didn’t understand why you would major in something frivolous, but he’s seen how passionate you are about the field. He knows how hard you work for your goals, and he finds that admirable. He supports you because he can see how much it means to you.

“Just drop it, Hajun,” he mumbles.

“Or maybe,” she begins to say with a smirk. “Was the sex really that disappointing?”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes; his body becomes rigid.

Hajun’s eyes widen. “You two actually had sex?! Really, Seungcheol? With her?”

“That’s none of your business, Hajun,” he nearly growls.

Seungcheol typically tries not to show frustration toward his friends, but she’s stepped over the line. Again.

“I told you she wasn’t worth it,” she sighs, frowning. Her voice becomes softer. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Seungcheol picks up his phone and backpack.

“Yeah, do what I said earlier and drop it,” he grumbles, rising from his seat.

Hajun watches with big eyes, a little stunned by his harsh response. She silently pleads for him to stay.

“I—I just want you to be happy,” she says.

No, she just wants him to be happy doing what she wants. He realizes she doesn’t even apologize for what she’s said.

He doesn’t reply and finds another seat in the classroom. Thankfully, she doesn’t follow. He can feel her eyes on him, but he ignores it. He’s tempted to leave the room entirely, but with his low grades, he needs to attend the lecture.

Hana, Doyun, and Vernon walk into the room a few minutes later. Hana looks confused to see him and Hajun sitting on opposite sides of the room. Hana hesitates for a second before deciding to sit with Hajun. Doyun follows her while Vernon splits and sits by him.

“You alright?” Vernon asks as he gets his supplies from his bag.

“Should I say yes?” he questions, sinking lower in his seat from the weight of his problems.

“No,” Vernon says.

“Then no. I’m not,” Seungcheol huffs.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay,” Vernon pauses. “I’m here though whenever.”

Seungcheol looks at his friend. He offers a small smile.

“Thanks,” he says.

Vernon returns the expression and nods.

Even though Seungcheol tries his hardest to pay attention, his mind wanders frequently. He checks his phone even though he knows you haven’t texted him. Would you ever again?

The question brings back memories of you. He remembers going out of town with his family for spring break and texting you any chance he got. He remembers being teased about being a phone-addict. He’s not usually, but he felt like it then. He’d check his phone and be excited to see your messages. 

He also remembers talking to you on the phone for hours once he got back. He enjoyed learning more about you; he almost felt a little special that you allowed him your time. He knew you were busy, yet you had talked to him until he started falling asleep.

He shoves the device deep in his pockets, hoping he can do the same with his thoughts. 

Seungcheol doesn’t have a break between classes and heads directly to his next classroom with Vernon. Neither of them speaks much, and he’s grateful his friend understands his need for privacy. Vernon’s never been the one to push him to speak before he’s ready, and he appreciates that aspect of Vernon.

Like before, he still struggles with following along. He can review his notes later; hopefully, some of the content will come back to him.

After class, Vernon bid Seungcheol goodbye. It’s Seungcheol’s last class of the day and normally, he’d head home, but on days when he’s falling behind, he stays on campus. He often feels more focused. However before he can crack open his books, he needs a refresher.

Seungcheol leaves the business building and makes his way toward the central hub that houses several beverage and food options. He pushes the doors open and starts heading straight for the drinks line. However, familiar voices make his footsteps slow.

“She must’ve really needed to use the bathroom,” Mingyu says.

“Or maybe she ditched us,” Jeonghan replies with a chuckle.

Seungcheol takes a quick glance around and spots his friends near the pickup counter.

“We’ve got her drink, though,” Mingyu says, emphasizing his point by gesturing to one of the cups Jeonghan holds.

“I’ll go see if she’s lost,” Jeonghan sighs and leaves.

Seungcheol’s not sure who they’re talking about, but something in his gut says it’s about you.

Seungcheol detours and stops in front of Mingyu.

“Oh, hey,” Mingyu greets with a toothy grin.

“Hey,” Seungcheol replies.

“How were classes?” Mingyu asks.

Seungcheol shrugs, not feeling like doing small talk. He doesn’t want to seem too eager to talk about you, but he can’t help it.

“You here alone?” Seungcheol questions, knowing damn well he’s not.

Mingyu shakes his head. “No, I’m with Jeonghan and Yn… Speaking of, Jeonghan went to go check on her and hasn’t come back.”

As Mingyu speaks, his features become more puzzled. He turns without a word toward where Jeonghan went. Seungcheol follows.

Mingyu rounds the corner, asking, “Is she okay? What’s taking so long?”

Hajun is smiling at Jeonghan nearby while you stand a few feet away, a mixture of emotions on your face. But amidst them all is pain.

Seungcheol’s own heart squeezes at knowing something is wrong. Though, something’s been wrong.

And it’s then he realizes you’re doing something you haven’t done in weeks.

You’re looking at him for longer than three seconds.

It sounds ridiculous, but you’ve been avoiding him so much that a simple stare feels like stumbling upon a four-leaf clover.

Your gaze stirs something inside his chest. Something akin to hope.

Hope that you’ll finally hear him out.

Hope that you’ll forgive him one day.

Hope that you’ll let him back into your life.

He wants it all so badly.

A/N: More to come eventually 😫

Taglist: @ellllsia, @cheolcherries, @oncloudvii23, @mystikha, @lithelust, @doom-fics

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

[foursaints]

helllo! u sometimes talk about ur mutuals circle and i was just wondering would u like to namedrop them? cos i think i already follow some of them but i feel like they probably all have very correct opinions and good taste and would like to follow them

oh i would love nothing more than to namedrop. in fact i will make you an index of what i admire about them (readmore for length)

@fernhelm <- leading scholar on the black sisters, arthuriana, and the overlap between marauders & ancient greek classicism. we are neighbors and childhood friends irl but that's unrelated

@jewishregulus <- THE regulus black understander & originator of the carrow twins. half of everything i say is paraphrased from the essay length saintsivy dms

@carniferous <- THE james potter understander & creator of nuanced tenderness and melancholy & one of my favorite fic authors before we became friends.... read their theatre-based fic NOWW

@sixlane <- i passed the Premiere Bartylily Understander hat to lane long ago.... we all definitely already know lane of "get him back (read on ao3)" fame but it bears repeating. one of the few fic authors who i stalk for updates. but i also stalk for anon responses because they are always uniquely thought-out and hilarious

@itsjaywalkers <- LAURIEE is one of the best people on here & i scroll their blog like the morning news. the vibe on there is always so fresh and fun and kind and playful (and occasionally searingly tragic or erotic). THE james potter enjoyer on this website. this is the other fic author who i stalk for updates.....

@quillkiller <- jen was my first mutual on here 🥺 (hi jen). our most beautiful resource for Bellatrix Black enjoyment and nuanced discussion of feminist theory. i consider them half of the powerduo of Rarepair Creation on this site (hi kara) that has given us bangers like effiebarty and regtunia and the most searing wlw fic

@static-radio-ao3 <- im embarrassed to talk to mil because their jegulus fic is just genuinely that good. its crazy how every single one reads like a fully fleshed-out romcom novel i would read in one sitting at barnes & noble. another barty understander i daresay

@sugarsnappeases <- THE OTHER HALF OF THE RAREPAIR BUREAU. kara's microfics hit me like 9/11 every single time (that searing bella sirius-death character study? the BARTYLILY DRESS FIC?) and they are another lesbionic understander of women. when people say they want more marauders girls content they should just go to kara lmfaooo

@rottin6 <- can't talk about layla without offering my hand in marriage sorry. princess of the bartylilysphere i rather think... hottest most erotic microfics i've ever read in my life, thank god for the people who understand barty's Trashboy Dick on a cerebral level

@veryinnovative <- we all definitely already know ino but that's okay. probably divinely gifted to come up with the most unexpected & niche AUs that still manage to make perfect sense and hit every single time.

@moon-seas <- KAYY. my favorite artist on here hands-down. a true dirtbag barty understander & they produce the most stunning digital collage-work. a privilege to see

@sommerregenjuniluft <- now where would i be without lune's barty understanding... yes their jegulus microfic porn is masterful but WHAT ABOUT their ability to put barty in the strangest situations ever (he's an electrician?? a circus clown, now???) and have it integrate perfectly with his character. that's good writing babe!!!!

also you should follow @dracure @royalthorned @morsmortish and @katakosmos for more good rosekiller content. we don't talk but I admire from afar ......

[pixiesfz]

would you write a jessie fic where her and reader are babysitting for a friend? i love ur work 💗💗

hmmmmm YES! also guys I need more rquests I'm struggling on ideas myself so request away (:

practice? j.f

plot: you tell your national teammate that you can look after her daughter whilst she has her first practice and media work

warning: fluff idk

"Mini you can trust me and Jessie" you reassured your national teammate over the phone "I trust you, Harpers never met Jessie" Katrina pointed out "She's not called baby Canada for nothing" you joked "Harper will probably think she's also her age"

"Hey!"

You waved Jessie off as Katrina laughed "Okay, I've met Jessie before and she's good with your childish ass-" "I am not childish" you cut your friend off as Jessie scoffed from beside you "I am not childish" You repeated "Oh please" Katrina started "four years ago you were just as bad as Kyra"

"But I sometimes want to throw Kyra into a wall"

"I sometimes wanted to throw you into a wall!"

You sighed and changed the subject "So what time will you be here?" you asked "In about an hour and I'm bringing some of her favourite toys so don't let Jessie worry and go out to a store"

You looked to the corner of your living room that held a few teddy bears and an inside little slide.

"too late"

You could tell that Katrina was rolling her eyes from the silence "You know" she started "Jessies really excited to look after a child with you" she emphasized and you smiled "Well I'm really excited too" you spoke softly as you looked behind the couch to see Jessie putting anything pointy to a high area where Harper couldn't reach.

Katrina told you she would be there soon and you hung up to see Jess pulling out plastic forks and plates out of her shopping bag.

"She's only here for a day" you hummed as Jessie started pulling off the tags "Well what if she eats something and then we haven't cleaned it and then we need another plate for when she gets hungry again" Jessie defended and you smiled, walking up to her and hugging her from behind "So is that why we need 6 plates?" you teased and Jessie turned to you swiftly so you were now holding her from the front.

"I just got a bit excited" she admitted and you nodded "Harper is a special girl, I've learned that from rooming with Mini at almost every camp since she was born" you told her as the short haired brunette looked down at you.

"I did buy one thing that I thought you would like" she told you and you shot up in anticipation as Jessie ruffled through the bag and pulled out a small Chelsea Jersey.

"It has your name and number on it" She smiled as she shook it in front of your face, you gasped at the Jersey and took it from your girlfriend's arms "This is so cute" you beamed and kissed your girlfriend on the cheek.

It wasn't till later when Jessie opened the door that Harper ran into your arms "Auntie y/n!" she screamed when she ran. You held her close and placed small kisses along her face which the little girl laughed at.

Katrina and Jessie watched from the door "she's good with kids" Katrina said as she saw Jessies stare on you, Jessie hummed in agreement.

Katrina smirked at your girlfriends expression as you played with Harper "You know you can just ask her" Katrina told the Chelsea player before giving her Harpers bag and some of her favourite foods "I'm sure she'll say yes".

Katrina left as Harper turned towards Jessie "Who's this?" she asked you and you laughed "This is Jessie" you explained and she turned to you

"The Jessie?!"

You had talked a lot about your girlfriend at camps and Harper would always ask silly questions "Why is she all red?" she asked and Jessie turned her head "I think your mummy said something to her" you guessed as Harper laughed.

"Hi Harper" Jessie introduced herself to the girl who shook her hand with a smile "y/n loves you" was all she said before running off with a cheeky smile.

"Harper!" you yelled out to the girl who had now hidden behind your kitchen table.

After Harper settled and Jessie had finally officially introduced herself to the girl you had suggested to go on a small walk which Harper agreed to "I brought my beanie!" Harper squealed as she dragged Jessie to her bag to collect her beanie, you grabbed a beanie for yourself as well as you collected your and Jessie's coats, when you arrived back Harper looked at Jessie "Where is your beanie? we all wear beanies" She ordered and you smirked "Yeah Jess go get your beanie on!"

Jessie went back to your room and came back with her black beanie on before you all set yourselves up for a stroll, you were walking past a cafe when a couple of fans spotted you two.

"Can we please get a picture?" one of them asked and you nodded "of course" you smiled and Harper turned towards Jessie with her arms up "hold me!" she yelled and Jessie picked the girl up so she sat on her hip, you looked at Jessie with Harper on her hip and blushed.

"Harper remember to smile!"

When you arrived back home, you fed Harper dinner as you and Jessie ate your own and sat down on the sofa to watch a movie as Jessie and Harper agreed on the new Super Mario movie.

Harper was cuddling next to Jessie as you sent your fifth video of the day to Katrina who was quick to reply 'looks like she has a new favorite' she said and you scoffed.

Harper looked between both of you "I like it here" she said before snuggling into your side and fell asleep which you told Jessie to take a photo of so you could tell your friend that you will always be the favorite.

Jessie looked at the photo and smiled, sending it to Katrina and herself "This has been very fun today" she said as you looked to her "I knew Harper and you would get along" you said smugly as Jessie quietely laughed.

"You know it was almost as like it was practice"

practice?

You smiled at your girlfriend as she pushed your hair back with your hand "practice huh?" you asked and she nodded "Yeah only if you ever want to uhm have babies, children uhm... yeah" Jessie babbled as you leaned over to kiss her "I would love to have children with you Jessie"

You fell asleep with a smile as you cuddled into Jessie, Harper in the middle before Katrina came back in the morning to pick her up.

She wasn't too happy to see her kid in a bright blue Chelsea top and grins on both of your faces as Harper said how much she loved it.

[heademptynothoughts]

it's missing jatp hours again

and obviously juke and willex are on my mind, but mostly i'm thinking about the friendships in the show

cuz yeah romance is fun and all, but the friendships are where it's at

i know this has been talked about a lot (i've definitely made posts about it before and if i could find them i probably would have rbed them instead of writing this), but whatever it bears repeating

what keeps this show in my heart, what made me love this show in the first place, is the friendships: julie and flynn being ride-or-die besties; luke, alex, and reggie being ride-and-literally-die besties

the support and care and love between them all, the emphasis on how important they are to each other, the fact that they are incomplete without each other, while still being completely platonic

it just makes me so so so happy

[666writingcafe]

Jealousy?

MC

"Would you mind answering a question for me?" Barbatos asks me once we've exchanged pleasantries and settled down in the parlor.

"Depends on the question." A faint smile crosses his lips.

"I was just wondering how you could choose to associate yourself with Solomon." The irritation in his voice is rather evident, and I'm reminded of the staredown the two men engaged in a couple days ago.

"What do you have against him?" I sound a bit too defensive for my liking. I'm not trying to pick a fight with Barbatos; I simply want to know why he seems to detest the sorcerer so much.

He sighs before replying,

"Perhaps the version of Solomon that accompanied you here has cleaned up his act--and good for him if he has--but the one I know is fiendish, a blight upon the world, and destruction incarnate. He throws anyone he can under the bus if it meant avoiding trouble for himself. Being here for an extended period of time may cause your sorcerer to revert back to old habits, and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Why? You hardly know me."

"You're right." He pauses. "I'm not sure, really. I mean, you seem like a good, honest person, but what do I know? Maybe you're just as bad as him, and I shouldn't have even bothered taking you under my wing." While coming from a practical place, his words do sting.

"And yet you did." Barbatos sighs again.

"And yet I did," he repeats, taking a sip of his tea. "The decision came from a gut feeling I had, and those rarely fail me. I just hope that you don't prove me wrong."

My turn to drink some tea.

I'm not used to Barbatos being this open about his emotions, especially while he's on duty. Perhaps time has granted him the ability to remain calm and composed when he's on the clock, but still. It'll be a bit before I get used to this particular attitude of his.

"Are you ready for your first lesson?" he asks, pulling me out of my head and back to the present moment. It takes me a second to remember exactly why I'm over at the castle today in the first place, but once I do, I quickly nod my head.

"Good. We'll start with a fairly basic anatomy topic: pheromones." Interesting place to start. Is he finally going to let me ask the question I had about Lucifer?

"In a lot of ways, demons bear a closer resemblance to animals than to humans," he continues. "While their strength in the latter is fairly minimal, the former uses them as a effective method of communication. Our pheromones can tell others what we're feeling as well as mark our territory, among other things.

"Demons have a baseline scent that's present no matter what they do. For example, I smell like mint, and Lord Diavolo like old leather. Different pheromones will bring out specific notes of the baseline scent. Positive emotions tend to make it sweeter, while negative emotions bring out its bitter and sour side. If those emotions are tied to one of the seven sins, then the scent becomes more potent, sometimes to the point of being nauseating to anyone that happens to catch a whiff.

"Am I making sense to you so far?" I nod my head. I don't have any questions yet, but I have a feeling that even if I did, Barbatos wouldn't let me ask any of them just yet.

"Now, Lucifer and his brothers have stayed in the castle for the last couple months, and in that time, I've picked up on all of their scents. Lucifer had one of the more pungent ones. Understandably so, since he's probably the most emotionally scarred from the war, but it got to the point where I couldn't be around him for longer than a few minutes. And making some of my favorite dishes proved to be impossible after a while, for even the smallest amount of nutmeg would make my stomach turn.

"But the moment you returned his credit card to him, Lucifer's scent noticeably shifted. For once, he actually smelled pleasant. And then it became stronger. By the time he left my side, I was craving a giant slice of coffee cake." At this point, he stops talking, allowing me to finally speak.

"So, you're telling me that my simple nice gesture was enough to turn him on?"

"It would appear that way, yes." Unbelievable. "If I pointed it out at the time, though, Solomon probably would have run after Lucifer to tease him about it, and that would most definitely piss Lucifer off. Plus, he would adamantly denied feeling that way at all, and given his initial behavior towards you, I didn't want to see you upset by him completely disregarding your kindness."

As I mull over Barbatos' words, I'm suddenly reminded of a specific moment. One where Lucifer had his mouth covered with a handkerchief, looking like he was about to throw up.

I wonder...

"If it's not too much trouble, would you mind telling me what I smell like?" I ask, causing Barbatos to smile.

"Not at all. In fact, I was just getting ready to ask you if you wanted to know, so this works out great." He sets his tea down on a nearby table and gets up, walking around and stopping behind the chair I'm sitting in. I momentarily feel part of his face on top of my head as he audibly sniffs. I'm sure that if someone walked past us right now, they'd be weirded out by what they saw.

Or maybe not. I don't know if intentionally smelling someone like this is standard demon behavior. Maybe it is, and I'm overthinking it.

"Vanilla buttercream frosting," Barbatos announces. Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. It at least explains a few things, if nothing else. Frosting can get overwhelmingly sweet.

"That might actually work," he mutters to himself as he sits back down.

"What would?" Barbatos finishes his tea before clasping his hands in front of him.

"There's a creature on the grounds that needs tamed. He's both ferocious and extremely dangerous, so Lord Diavolo had me put a spell on him to prevent anyone from coming into contact with him. If I told you how to undo the spell, would you like to take a stab at it?"

"What makes you think I'd be successful?"

"You don't smell threatening."

"No; I smell like a goddamn dessert. The creature will probably think I'm food and try to eat me."

"And if that's the case, I'll bail you out." He pauses. "There are creatures like this one that are very selective about who they will submit to, and I believe that you fit this particular one's criteria. Plus, you'll earn the title "Ruler of the Underworld", and you can use that as a way to get people to quit treating the brothers like shit." I find myself snorting in amusement.

"Like a mere title is going to make people change their entire ideology."

"People can think whatever they like. They just have to learn to keep some of those thoughts to themselves or else face severe consequences." The grin on his face is lowkey terrifying. I don't know if I want to be on the wrong end of that smile.

So, I end up agreeing to take on the responsibility of taming this creature.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

[dokidokitsuna]

I SWEAR I DON'T SHIP THEM

...I know I've said that before, but it bears repeating. ^^; Mostly because it actually clearly looks that way now, and that's probably going to continue...I'm not sure what else to say about it. If there's a word for this particular flavor of platonic relationship, I don't know what it is. Maybe someone will tell me. ^^

Anyway, since I still haven't started writing the script for this video (tbh I haven't had the time...) I'm going to continue practicing by talking about the pictures I draw. I did all three of these yesterday, thinking I'd just attempt to play with the designs a little and probably get tired and quit...surprisingly, I did not. '_' In a shocking twist, I'm enjoying drawing RWBY characters again~.

So while I was doing these sketches, I was mostly thinking about how Adam and Cinder interact with each other in the Neverfell AU...mainly by belittling each other and fighting constantly. ^^; Cinder thinks of Adam as just another stupid lackey; another piece of gentleman arm-candy; a mere tool that just needs to be kicked a little more than usual before it does what she wants it to do. And Adam (somewhat hypocritically...) thinks of Cinder as a myopic drama queen who's too wrapped up in herself to be an effective strategist or leader.

It's because of these opinions that they end up spending a lot of time working together, trying to show each other up as they re-attempt the not-fall of Beacon. And in doing so, they gradually learn more about each other, especially Adam, who starts to understand where Cinder is coming from as he gets drawn deeper into Salem's inner circle. Fortunately, he still has (a) an outsider's perspective on Salem's manipulative behavior, and (b) too much pride to let himself become blindly loyal to anyone. And eventually, he gains enough concern, or at least pity, for Cinder to use those traits to try to help her, in the end.

Now the point of this isn't just "wow, Cinder gets to such a dark place that even Adam feels sorry for her"...although that is part of it, kinda. ^^ The main point is "wow, Adam's character develops so much that he can peacefully coexist with someone who doesn't respect him or fear him, and even sympathize with her", AND, "wow, Cinder's character develops so much that she can actually confide in someone about her struggles, and might even be willing to accept his help".

...I have a lot of details to fill in to make ^that development clear. But I'll get to it in the script. Eventually. :9

[xadianglyphs]

Infantis Sanguine: Why Is It Like That

Okay, it's finally time to talk about Infantis Sanguine. In that I can't put it off any longer, not that there's a particularly good time. Everything we see on the Infantis Sanguine page is pretty much unique within the series so far, so there aren't any repeats or connections to follow. It also doesn't bear a ton of resemblance to anything we've seen before. So I'm kind of left with going over possible external connections or inspirations, and what we're meant to think about it based on the design.

Like, it's pretty clear from the way they show the Infantis Sanguine spell how we're supposed to feel about it. It's dirty and smudged, it's rendered in a red/black gradient that evokes dried blood, and the writing that goes with it is much shorter and sharper than any of the other writing systems we've seen, which are all very calligraphic. Additionally, it looks like an early version of the sort of magic circles we only see associated with dark or corrupted magic, like Kim'dael's summoning circle, the Tenebris Praesidium circle effect, or even Claudia's spellbook:

That kind of arrangement doesn't occur in any primal magic we've seen so far. Sometimes primal magic has individual runes arranged in a circle, like the Silvergrove entrance illusion or the Sunfire purification ritual, but the intricate, geometric stuff is exclusive to dark magic.

Anyway, now let's take this nerd shit to an 11 when it probably ought to stay at about a 5.

I'm absolutely sure that everyone d'une certaine génération of anime saw this in s5e9 and thought the same thing I did, which was, "nope, I've seen enough Fullmetal Alchemist to know where this is going."

In actuality, most of the Fullmetal Alchemist transmutation circles don't really resemble Infantis Sanguine, though there's some basic similarity between the human transmutation circles and the cover of Claudia's spellbook. The only one that's bears a passing resemblance to Infantis Sanguine is this one:

(Side note: would you believe it took me literal hours to find the source of that, probably because it's exclusive to the 2003 anime? It's the transmutation circle used in conjunction with a homunculus's human remains to force it to vomit up all its red stone (life force) and become mortal so it can be killed. Interestingly.)

Now, a lot of these graphic elements are rooted in other meanings or practices. A pentacle is a pentacle, Hiromu Arakawa didn't make that up. She actually incorporated a ton of researched alchemical symbolism into Fullmetal Alchemist, and the similarities don't mean "oh, TDP copied FMA." (I'd be kind of shocked if no one on the TDP team has seen FMA, though.)

The central element that makes these two graphics resemble each other is the crucified serpent, which is an actual thing, generally associated with Nicolas Flamel because it appears in a book attributed to him (this isn't from that book, it's a later representation):

Basically, as an alchemical symbolic concept, the crucified serpent represents the stabilization of a volatile substance. The serpent is further a symbol of the "prima materia," a universal, chaotic matter and the starting material for the philosopher's stone. You can go a step further and interpret the cross as the four elements uniting together to form the fifth, but medieval/renaissance historical alchemy was also deeply entwined with Christianity—the cross is also seen as emblematic of the cyclic "death and resurrection" of the prima materia as it is refined into the stone.

The crucified serpent with wings and crown is, as far as I can tell, something Hiromu Arakawa did make up for Fullmetal Alchemist, but it's really just adding another layer that further clarifies the concept as a symbol of having attained perfection or divine wisdom. (Hence its association with Ed and Izumi, who have both seen The Gate and attained the ability to perform alchemic transmutation without drawing a circle.)

Furthermore, the crucified serpent is associated with the rod of Asclepius and the caduceus, which also have a design association with the symbol for dark magic. We also have a strong association between snakes and dark magic because of recurring use in the series.

Now, as for the symbols that surround the Infantis Sanguine geometric/serpentine design, they bear little resemblance to any other writing symbols used thus far in the setting. Possibly they're similar to the symbols used in the blocks of body text from repeating book pages:

It's hard to say, though. I think it's probably a coincidence, since in both cases they're trying to use symbols that resemble a simpler, alphabetical writing system instead of the pictographic primal runes or the complex calligraphic symbols we see elsewhere. I'm not convinced the art team thought at all about human vs. elven styles of writing, and a lot of the symbols we see on human objects or books are also very calligraphic. BUT if that was something they HAD thought about... after seeing the Moon Nexus, Sunfire, and other calligraphic symbols endemic to the elven locations and cultures, I'd see the Infantis Sanguine writing and be like "oh, that's human, then."

Basically, I think the symbols surrounding Infantis Sanguine are meant to be perceived as actual writing or notation—something you could jot down with a pencil. Some of them even bear a passing resemblance to alchemical symbols, which were used as shorthand notation for materials and processes:

Finally, I don't think it's coincidence that there are these relationships between Infantis Sanguine and alchemy. As I noted above with the magic circles, we are meant to associate this spell (and possibly deep magic as a whole) with dark magic. Primal magic is laid out as very spiritual, in this series—it's energy-based, a connection made deep in your soul with a natural, universal force. Dark magic, on the other hand, is rendered as very physical—it uses materials, which are altered or destroyed in the process. It's also something fostered and developed by humans over time and experimentation, similar to science. We don't really know where primal spells come from, beyond a single reference that they are "discovered" while referring to the discovering character as an "oracle."

So yeah, I think we're meant to draw that association, if only to contrast Infantis Sanguine from primal magic by connecting it with something that itself has more physical and scientific associations.

...

Actually, there is one other writing/symbol that bears some similarity to what we see in Infantis Sanguine. But I'll get to that in another post.

[inkedroplets]

No idea how to tag this but I've had a few anons ask about my Supercorp/MCU crossover fic and wanted to share a snippet since I haven't actually posted anything in ages. Tagging @sideguitars because they've had to listen to me ramble about this plenty.

I got turned around somehow… 

It seemed utterly ridiculous for Lena to lose her bearings so easily when the Royal Palace of Valaskjalf was such a distinctive landmark to use as a kind of north star but all the same she was lost. 

Maybe I should have just stayed the night, she thought, wondering if turning down Sif’s offer to stay the night was a mistake, after all. There was certainly plenty for them to talk about. Or rather, plenty of questions that Lena had about Asgard that Lena would have dearly loved answers for. Although she wasn't sure that would constitute pillow talk in Sif’s book. And  

She was about to try her luck cutting down a side street to see if she might be able to spot her temporary lodgings when a jovial voice boomed out from behind her. 

“Lena Luthor!” 

She started, instinctively reaching for the baton stashed in one of her heels and relaxed when she recognized to whom the voice belonged to. 

“I didn't mean to startle you,” Thor apologized. “I must have stepped lighter than I meant to. Loki is usually more the one prone to sidiling.”

“You’re fine,” Lena assured him. “Force of habit,” she explained, stowing her baton away without missing a step. “Usually when someone shouts my name from behind they want to take a swing at me. Or call me a bitch,” she said. “Or they did back on my Earth.” 

“Only a coward would try and attack from behind,” Thor rumbled, sounding scandalized although his expression softened a bit almost at once. “Just don't tell Loki I said that.” 

Lena mimed turning a small key close to her mouth.

“You're lost, aren't you?” Thor said.  

“Woefully so,” Lena admitted. “Probably should have paid closer attention on the tour.” 

“It was a pretty lousy tour,” Thor said fairly. “We don't get many visitors. Although that appears to be changing.” He pointed down a street that veered right. “Your quarters are that way,” he explained. “From the palace it’s two lefts, you can't miss it.” 

“Two lefts,” Lena repeated. 

“And from Lady Sif’s it's two rights and then a left…” 

Fucking hell. 

Instinctively, Lena began to walk faster, either wanting to reach her quarters as quickly as she could, alarmed at how easily Thor kept pace with her. 

“Stark told me about this,” he said as he strode along beside her. “The stroll of… No.” He shook his head, brow furrowed for a moment before he snapped his fingers. “The walk of shame,” he said, looking infinitely pleased with himself. “That is what this is called, right?” 

“Oh God,” Lena groaned.

“Not that the name makes much sense. Shame is the last thing you should be feeling. Lady Sif is a fine friend and an even finer warrior,” Thor said sounding as if he were speaking to himself rather than to Lena. “It’s no wonder she caught your eye.” 

If another tear in the universe opened up right now, Lena thought, I would jump in no questions asked. 

“Thank you for the directions, Thor,” Lena said, through clenched teeth, relieved when she saw they had arrived back at her temporary lodgings. 

“Don't mention it,” Thor said, clapping her warmly on the shoulder. “We’ll talk more tomorrow,” he said, striding off in the direction of the palace. “I have some combat pointers I could give you.” He swung his hammer in a slow kind of golf swing. “For any other cowards that would try and engage you from behind.” 

“Maybe not the best choice of words,” Lena mumbled to herself. “That's very generous,” she said a little louder. “Thank you, Thor.” 

“Of course, if you prefer, Lady Sif would be more than happy to as well, I'm sure. Especially since you two are already so well a-”

“Good night, Thor!” Lena called out before closing the door behind her. 

[wolfythewitch]

please do ramble, whats your sbi and sleeping at last association? i really need to know now, that you mentioned it

Okokokok it follows the same directions as the anemoi ones

I'll start with Phil again, and West by sleeping at last, and this time it's more c!Phil than h!Phil

Can you hear me screaming

Can you hear the sandduo fan in me breaking down

The first verse also feels very reminiscent of before he joined the server, back when they would just send letters to each other. And god these verses

I've talked about cphil before, and I've talked about his grief before, and Wilbur Does Not Leave his mind, from November 16th till his revival he hasn't stopped thinking about it. He's thought about it so much that the dude, who's never usually vulnerable, even asks ranboo if what he did was right, one of the times he was emotionally vulnerable in character. I also think it's really neat that Techno built a home in the north and gave Phil a compass that points to it, it's a really neat coincidence. His character also feels very lost in a way? I made a playlist once where I ordered the songs to follow a story, but I left it unfinished because he felt unfinished, forever stuck in some sort of grief (sidenote I need to finish that playlist now that the finale happened) and I think the line about true north fading is pretty neat

So like the oh hellos post, Techno is East, and you can probably see for yourself why I picked it haha

"now I bear little resemblance to the king I once was" is definitely the line that feels very c!techno I think, and "the years wore on and changed my heart, the leading role for a smaller part"

There is the intentional change, with him trying to stay away from violence and retiring, albeit later on going back to violence. But there's also the unintentional part, the one that came more naturally when he found friends. I mean Phil has always been his friend, but now there's Niki and Ranboo, and I mean there was even a hint of a reconciliation with Tommy. Something about having started out trying to go at it alone, and in the end having surrounded yourself with people that care.

So for Wilbur, he gets South.

Wilbur is very associated with lies I think, as a wordsmith. He lies to others and he lies to himself, and I don't think all of it he didn't believe. But also both Phil and Wilbur having lines about losing true north? Oughh. What I really like though is the last few verses

Because these ones are gentler, these ones are kinder. And Wilbur ultimately does try in a way to heal, in the end.

Soo that leaves Tommy with North.

Which I think works really well! A line Tommy has repeated over and over again was that L'manburg was the people, not the government or the land. It was the community.

C!Tommy, I think, is hope. He is kindness, and second chances. Because with everything that's happened to him, he hasn't stopped being kind. He hasn't grown hard with the times, he's remained as open and as vulnerable as he was, even as he grows more scarred. He hasn't stopped caring for the people he loves, because if you stop letting yourself love, what will you have left

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about High School Frenemy (EP 1 – 8) : Let Free the curse of Siamwit School

It's been 8 episodes that I've watched HSF and there is something that I found very interesting in the story and I've been thinking about it since episode 5. However, I needed some time to think about how I would be talking about it. This series lives rent free in my mind at the moment and there are so many things to say. This time I want to talk about the feud in Siamwit School between Udon Phithak campus and Thep Burapha. It's probably something the viewers of the OG version already experienced so I hope they won't mind that I'm talking about it because I've discovered the story through HSF and I haven't watched the OG version (not planning to watch it yet too because I want to experience HSF without knowing anything else prior).

The animosity between the two campus started 16 years ago before the story of Shin and Saint. Louis, a student from Udon Phithak was bullying other students from Thep Burapha. They were the victims of extortion. This student was stopped by Sung, who was a student at that time from Thep Burapha. He stopped the extortion by being more violent to Louis and his followers. Soon, Louis was bullied by students from Thep Burapha. It was revenge for them, as he was the one who bullied them before or made them feeling insecure. The viciousness of their actions started to be impossible for him to bear and he committed suicide by jumping of a building. From this point, the hatred between the two campus started and never stopped. In the present time, Shin is the leader of the Udon Phithak's campus and Ken is supposed to be the leader of the Thep Burapha's campus, before the school administrator Paphada decides to merge the two campus together. Most of the students or teachers can't exactly remember well how the conflict started. They know that one student died and that the conflict never stopped from this point, but who were the real protagonists of it, they don't remember. In the present, Sung is a teacher who is working with Class 2 where you can find Shin, Ken, Saint and different students from either Udon Phithak or Thep Burapha.

I think there is a parallel between Sung's past and Shin and Saint's lives. Sung was a hot-headed student from Thep Burapha. He probably thought at that time that he was saving his fellow students and his violence was justified because Louis was also very violent towards others. Maybe he thought it was justice. The consequences of his actions only became real when he witnessed the suicide of Louis. We don't know yet what happened, but from this time he probably rethought his life. In the flashback, we saw that Sung never really back down from fighting against Louis or other students from Udon Phithak. He was apparently a good fighter. However, when Sung met Jeng to plead for his students' safety, he tells Jeng that he is “a peaceful man” and that he has other means to act that doesn't require violence or fighting. Sung from the past would probably have fought with Jeng and his gang to obtain what he wanted. The Sung for the present probably doesn't want to repeat the same mistake from the past. He still feels guilty as it is shown in his conversation with another teacher from the school. I wonder if Sung agreed to teach to Class 2 because he saw himself in them and knowing the terrible consequence of hatred, he may want to end this before history repeats itself. I just wonder why he thinks his way is better than Jan. I feel like the students bonded more with Jan than Sung, but I may be wrong because it's true they remain on the defensive with every teacher.

Shin, just like Sung, started to become the leader of his campus, when he defended Chatjen the same way Sung defended his fellow student. Someone was extorting money, and they stopped them by saying they are their friend. In both ways, they wanted to fight to make sure their friends/ fellow students would be free from their bully. When you watch the series, they almost say the same thing. I still think it's a pity that Sung never really try to reach out to Saint or Shin because he must know what it feels. When Sung wants to help the students, it's never by talking to them or trying to convince them. It's mostly the job of Jan even though she was never in the same situation. It's like she gets the role of caring, while he gets the role of protecting them from behind. I hope he will have in the next episodes the possibility to show them how he relates easily to what they are living because of his past. I get that he would prefer that it stays in the past because he is ashamed of what happened. In this end, Louis died because of him and Jom who was the bully in Shin's time, also died. If Louis died as a direct consequence of Sung's actions, Jom died from an accident that wasn't related to Shin. We can also point that Louis got bullied by the rest of the students, but in Shin's time, Jom just loose his title of leader of the Udon Phithak campus. That's the first difference between Shin and Sung. I also think that Sung was more prouder than Shin when he was the leader.

I feel this proud makes him closer to Saint from the past. When Saint was younger, he was the leader of his own gang and he was proudly nicknamed “Tsunami” because when he was going after someone, no one could beat him. His use of violence could be compared to the one Sung used in the past. They were both leader of their own “gang” and they both rely a lot on their strength to establish themselves. They both used too much of their violence and in the end they both felt bad because of the terrible consequence it had: Sung witness the suicide of Louis and understood that he went too far, while Saint fought his best friend, injured him and lost his friendship. They both lives in the present with the guilt of what they've done. Sung decided to become a teacher and probably help students to avoid having the same fate as Louis. As for Saint, he wants to be what Shin wants. Saint will only heal if Shin is also healing. His remorse, just like Sung, are true and they are both willing to work on whatever they need to, to be able to heal from this and maybe earn the needed forgiveness. I also feel Sung should have been more open with Saint when he tried to convince him to get back to school. That would have been a great time to connect to him. I don't know exactly, but I feel it was a missed opportunity.

The curse of Siamwit School is rooted in violence, guilt and death (real and figurative). To be able to break from this curse, the healing journey won’t be easy, but it will be interesting to watch.