#i've only ever seen one film but everyone knows those spoilers right?

[fireflyatlast]

As promised: Rite Here Rite Now Review

Spoiler free above the cut, spoilers WILL be under the cut. (Word count: 1110)

Wow wow wow. In simple terms, RHRN was incredible. The recordings were edited very well, the crowd was great, the vocals were amazing as always, and the long-awaited continuation of the chapters was very satisfying.

As a newer fan (really started listening right when Re-Imperatour was ending) I unfortunately never got the chance to ever see any shows live. However, despite my newer status, I have made Ghost a key part of my interests. (ask any of my lovely irl friends, they've had the misfortune of hearing my rants.) I've watched countless interviews and old rituals in order to make up for lost time, but never have I felt more immersed in any Ghost media than I did when I saw the KIA shows on the big screen. It didn't feel like I was in row G seat 12 of my "local" mall's Regal Cinema, it felt like I was right there in LA.

The opening 5 minutes as Square Hammer plays softly in the background was great. Because there wasn't much going on on the screen, everyone in the theater that I was in was softly humming or singing to themselves quietly (Side note: I was worried that people would be super disruptive as the movie was going on, and I was really happy to not have those worries realized. My theater was respectful for the most part, and the only time anyone sang was during that five-minutes of not much.) It felt very nice to belong amongst such a nice community irl. As an introverted neurodivergent, sometimes I struggle to find places or people welcoming or sharing my interests. So being in a theater full of people who love the same thing as me, as much as me, was such a nice feeling.

The cinematography during the entirety of RHRN was great, with my personal favorite segment being Con Clavi Con Dio. The editing was really nice for the most part, and I love the development Cardi was given throughout the movie. I feel my one gripe with the filming is that while we did get great perspective shots on the ghouls, we didn't get much of their personalities. And yes, I get that technically they are just hired musicians and not the main focus by any means, I think it just would have been nice to see more than just a handful of clips of them interacting with each other or Papa.

All in all, RHRN was a wonderful experience and I strongly suggest any Ghost fan out there gives it a watch.

And now its time for my more story-based review. Spoilers under the cut!!

Again, wow. I was pretty excited to finally get some more of the chapters, I'm a big fan of anything that has "lore" even if it doesn't need it, so I definitely owe the chapters a thanks for really getting me into Ghost.

I was thrilled to find that we finally had a true conformation of Cardi's parents. I had always theorized that while Nihil was Copia's father, Copia had come from an affair with the audience members in the Kiss the Go-Goat music video, and that Imperator was Copia's adoptive mother after Nihil's abandonment of him. It's good to know I was wrong rather than not I guess.

Something I also enjoyed was the constant foreshadowing of Sister's death. It wasn't very subtle, but its definitely something I only connected the dots to at the end. Whenever we saw Sister, we saw pills. Lots and lots of pills. I had originally brushed this off as a background joke, but once Cardi reads her note, I realized that the pills were for her unnamed "condition." I think going into it, all of us knew someone would die, I just personally thought that someone would be Copia, not Sister.

That after-credit scene was amazing too. I loved Cardi's new outfit, and the conformation that yes, there will have to be another papa. Which obviously, yes, of course there has to be a new papa, but now, it just feels so much more real. Speaking of the new papa I WISH WE COULD HAVE SEEN HIM AAH! I get cliffhangers, but he was RIGHT THERE!

I'm excited for the next era and the next papa, the next costume of the ghouls. I have a theory though. I see a lot of people being stressed about the changing of the ghoul costumes with the new era, but I think we have one more cycle with the Impera masks. I've noticed that each mask and costume stays the same for two cycles. Opus to Infestissumam, the only thing that changed was the costumes becoming more remnant of Catholic ministry-wear. From Meliora to Prequelle, the masks stayed mostly the same, now with an added more feminine looking mask and more "suit like" outfits over religious attire. I definitely think we have one more era with the Impera masks, but different costumes. Also speaking of the ghouls one of them talked!! I think it was Mountain, but honestly I have a shit memory and it could have been anyone.

Onto my focus on who Cardi actually is. I am so happy we finally got more of a look into his mind now that he is papa. I feel like his personality when he was Cardinal was very timid and awkward, however I never thought he would stay that way at all. I like that he's way more confident now, to the point that he's questioning the higher authority of the ministry and their ways. I love that this confidence is partly just a mask to keep his fears of death hidden. I think his fears manifesting as an angry, questioning personality gives him a lot more depth than if he just gained confidence through his performances, which obviously happened too, don't get me wrong.

The last thing I want to discuss is the credit song, "The Future is a Foreign Land." First off, loved it. It was great musically, and the uncertainty in the lyrics fit very well with all of our uncertainty about the next cycle. Second off, I can't be the only one who think it sounds very similar to Subvision. I personally love Subvision, and even if its only for that one song, I'm super glad that style was revived for Ghost.

In conclusion, I love the developments made in RHRN, and I am more than excited for whatever is next. I think my brain will have to marinate on what I saw a bit more, maybe then I'll have some actual theories.

[sorenblr]

What is your opinion on the sexual cutscenes of FF16? I think a similar question was previously asked about Triangle Strategy and it seemed rather forced for the sake of pretending to be a more mature story, when FFT didn't rely on the explicitly sexual content to tell a mature story.

(This ask and the response are based on information that has been available as early as the demo and shouldn't contain any spoilers for the full game).

I don't mind a good sex scene and find the strangely puritanical reaction against sex depicted in film and television to be one of the most alien and frustrating discourses in recent years, but in this case it just seems to be the natural consequence of Yoshi P. demanding that his team watch the fucking GoT box-set:

...We wanted to create something that really resonated with a lot of people. And when we saw how Game of Thrones, and before that the Song of Ice and Fire series, has really resonated with players, we knew that this was something that we wanted to do as well. When we first started creating the game, we had our core team of about 30 members very early on buy the blu-ray boxset of Game of Thrones and required everyone to watch it, because we wanted this type of feel.

Game of Thrones made a lot of people a lot of money, and we thought to ourselves, boy, we would also like some of that money.

A larger distinction is that GoT features real actors who are, you know, people, and so it's not terribly embarrassing to see them stripped and smashing their shit together or jacking off or whatever. FFXVI, according to the aesthetic preference of an entire industry, is populated by uncanny digital homunculi only crudely approximating the appearance of real people with the animating force of God's breath filling their lungs. I don't anticipate that FFXVI will have full-bore, hog-out ramming or anything- I assume it's just a lot of post-coital sideboob, maybe a glimpse of Clive's weird little ass here and there- but in this presentational mode it would play closer to comedy if you're not catastrophically addicted to Overwatch porn.

There is a reason the camera would always cut away before Kratos starts fucking. You don't want to see that shit. You think you want to see it, but you don't want to see it. Do you expect to profit by seeing what David Jaffe in his wisdom has obscured from our eyes? This isn't In the Mood for Love. A color pencil rendering by some chronically masturbating teenage fan submitted to EGM in 2006 would be more stimulating than whatever these games are capable of showing you. You don't need to see Kratos' stroke game. You haven't even earned the right.

Beyond the unintended aesthetic effect of these things, I don't really trust this team to incorporate that influence in a meaningful or considered way, based on what I've seen of the game thus far. It extends to the 'epic medieval violence' and the prolific use of 'fuck'. I love fuck like a brother so please understand when I say that this is an incredibly remedial deployment of the term. The fuck sauce is not imitable. You simply have it or else it'll never be yours. A decade of stewarding radically PG-13 MMO quest dialogue has closed off the way to that place for Michael-Christopher Koji Fox.

And the insistent comparisons to Matsuno's oeuvre from the fanbase, often as a defensive appeal to legitimacy wherever the GoT influence is noted, are bordering on the absurd. Vaguely medieval politicking was apparently the only mark of his work that ever found purchase in people's minds, and none of the particular aesthetic, aural, or tonal distinctions that made those games living and vital. I don't expect that this game will have a meaningful resonance with those works except that people will be furious when the narrative inevitably ends with Clive facing off against some sort of ogre or deity instead of late medieval Karl Rove. But I also don't expect I'll have anything meaningful to share on the matter until I've seen for myself if it's as blandly imitative as it all seems. I mean, it's at least coming from an incredibly cynical place, as evinced in the quote above.

I don't have $650 USD burning a hole in my pocket at the moment, but I would love to be proven wrong whenever I have the chance to play it in like, late 2024. I similarly thought that FFXV looked totally insipid but then found it very affecting. Combat is an easy sell as one of the last living "character-action guys". You can use 'Stinger', that's good. There's a cooldown on the launcher? What the fuck is wrong with these people? It's probably still pretty good.

final fantasy sex thoughts postscript: they should make FFX-3 but it's about wakka and he always has one nut hanging out of his shorts and every 15 minutes he tucks it back in and says "sorry 'bout that brudda" to no one in particular but then it just immediately falls back out. also he's racist against al-bhed again

[violetdrkside]

i dive into a sea of memories, and collect the pieces of our love

Rating: Mature

Categories: Gen Fic, M/M

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen 呪術廻戦

Relationships: Getou Suguru/Gojo Satoru Getou Suguru & Gojo Satoru

Tags: Angst, Angst and Feels, Hurt No Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Extra Angst, Heavy Angst, SatoSugu, Mentions of Killing, Mentions of Death, JJK Volume 0/Cursed Child Spoilers, Hidden Inventory (Gojo's Past) Spoilers, Shibuya Arc Spoilers, I've had SatoSugu brain rot for over a year (close to two years) and I make sure I make it everyone else's problem, Crossed post on Ao3

Summary: He cannot help, but only think of him. He thinks of every single moment and feeling he has ever shared with and of him. Life can be cruel, and he is not sure how he got here, but sometimes all you can do is dwell on the past as you try and accept your present. It is hard to lose your one and only and the person you ever had. Like slides from movie your brain will play back all those times you ever had of and with them and all you can do is watch.

A/N:

In celebration of Gojo's 1000th day (I know I'm bit late, but let's ignore that) I present some SatoSugu Angst. Also if you do not know what I mean by 1000th day then I would suggest not reading because it might spoil some things for you. Anyway I have severe SatoSugu brain rot. I love them dearly and am obsessed with their relationship and how they interact with one another and how Akutami writes them. The title of the fic is a translated lyric from King Gnu's song 逆夢 (Sakayume) which was featured in the JJK Volume 0 Movie. I looked up multiple sources for the translation of the lyrics and that seems to be the general translation for the lyric. If you have better translations for the song please let me know! But this song absolutely is about Getou and Gojo and makes me sob deep down. BEFORE READING: Volume 0/Cursed Child Spoilers Hidden Inventory (Gojo's Past) Spoilers Shibuya Arc Spoilers (Don't say I did not warn you) Use of King Gnu's lyrics for title. I don't own them. [See end for more notes]

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   "Back then, I thought/That you would always be by my side/As if it was a given."

          The amount of time that has passed is undetermined. The same image keeps playing, flickering like a reel of film projecting onto a screen. The sound of a voice imprinted in his mind on a loop saying one thing. He knows what he saw, what he heard, what his cursed energy told him, but deep down in his soul all the facts are deemed false. Whoever that was, it was not the person who he formed an unbreakable connection with. His whole life flashing like slides as he transcends somewhere out of this world. Unsure when the tears started to flow down his face and unsure if it was from laughing or crying. He combs through every scenario of how this could have happened. What curse made him be banished to this realm? The wiring linking back to right before becoming engulfed by this prison. Every single memory with him, about him, of him is what came rushing back to the blindfolded man before the darkness engulfed him.

           How long has it been now? How many times has he thought of these memories? He is starting to become unsure how long he has been in here. Has it been a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a month, a year? Longer than that? 1000 days? Maybe no time has passed at all. Even so…however long it has been, all he can think about is him . His voice. A ghost of his past that he thought he killed, and yet he remains. Well, only his physical embodiment remained, His soul…unfortunately that was lost long ago, perhaps even before he had to take the life of his one, his only.

          He thinks about the first time they met at Jujutsu Tech. How the boy with jet hair and bangs in his face and eyes that closely match had no idea who he even was. He thinks about how they did not even get along at first, but as the days passed, even with different moralities and ideas, one was not seen without the other. He chuckles as he thinks of their fights at Jujutsu Tech, and how the cursed manipulation user would still wield his technique even though he was prohibited from doing so. And all the times Yaga would yell at them for their conduct. How they would drive Shoko crazy from their antics as well.

          He thinks of how all their bickering would end in laughter and no matter their disputes they each knew they could trust and confide in one another even as the sun is setting. All the late nights spent in each other’s rooms to the point it became difficult to tell which room was whose. With clothes left on chairs, souvenirs from all the missions and trips. Different foods and snacks they would bring back to share with one another. He thinks how sometimes their late nights would bleed into early mornings; with droopy eyes and cracked voices as they would fall asleep in one of their beds, because having to travel back to the other’s bed was still too far.

          He thinks about how for the first time he could be free. To travel and see the country and all its variety. How, for the first time, he never had to feel alone and was not treated differently just because he was born with a destiny already planned out for him. Finally, instead of hearing “you” or thinking there was only “me” there was a “we” and an “us.” Neither one of the two had to do anything by themselves because they made a team.

          He wishes that those days of the beginning could go on forever. How he wishes he could hold onto them a little longer. He curses the moment those days became less and less and he wishes he could go back to the day when it was their last. Before everything started to crack and crumble then shatter altogether. Maybe if he knew their last day of laughter and happiness before “we” went back to “you” and “me” he could keep it like that, even if it was just a little longer.

          Unfortunately, he knows when things changed for the two of them. Maybe regardless of the events that had occurred, he could have been more present, he could have gone to change his mind, change his soul before he left completely. That day still haunts him, still lingers, and as much as he wants to deny it, to ignore it, that day was the day he lost all his youth, his hopes, his dreams, all his plans and what could be.

         He remembers how he died that day and how he came back. He remembers thinking how the only person he has ever had was dead too. How he would burn it all down knowing he could not exist in a world where the other was not. He thinks how he should have burnt it down regardless because honestly there was not much left of it anyway. At least not enough for anyone in the future to prosper from it. He thinks of his own face that day. Even though they both have lived, someone who they promised to protect was not. He remembers the brightness and glimmer in his eyes fading along with his smile. How his face became a ghost of what it was.

          That is when the separation started. That is when he was sent on missions alone constantly–when he was recognized as the strongest and no longer needed someone to rely on. That is when everyone started to rely on him . Maybe he could not have changed his destiny. Over all the missions he went on, he would think of him. He would think of how it would be so much better if he were there as well. Just because he did not need him by his side does not mean he did not want him by his side. But that is a lie too: he did need him. With him by his side he was someone, he meant something to people beyond his power, his cursed energy, his six eyes. He remembers all the feelings he felt as a child while in isolation in the confines of his family’s estate flooding back to him as a teenager when he began to spend mission after mission alone. No one to share crepes or other desserts with when he would buy them on their missions away as his best friend would follow and oblige his sweet tooth. Before he knew it all the days were blending together and he wondered if that is what it was like for him as well.

          He should have been there more for him. Maybe convince Yaga that they should do a mission together instead of separately, and have Shoko join them too so it could be like it was in the beginning . Maybe instead of crashing in his own room from the tiring days, he could have gone to his room, to spend the night there like they used to. Talk about their plans and dreams like they always did. He should have been there more for him . He should have been present, because if he himself was still hurting from that fateful day he could only imagine how the other man felt. All he wanted was to see from his eyes and maybe, just maybe, they could fix it together. They could work through all the problems; all the issues they were going through like they always did. Even if there was fighting, he knew laughter would follow.

           He can feel himself finding it hard to breathe. Was it this place he was in? Was it something else? Maybe this time he is actually…dying. How long has it been now? How long has he been lingering on every day he had with him? Every moment. Maybe…maybe…he could not change a single thing. Maybe no matter what he did it would have gone like this. Maybe if he was never in his life, none of this would have happened. Maybe he would have had a chance for a happy life. Besides, you cannot grieve for something you never had in the first place. Maybe he should have stayed in isolation…never gone to Jujutsu Tech. Learned everything from home. Not involving anyone else in his life. Was this the curse he was born with? He could feel the heaviness in his chest growing. Suddenly a thought occurred… 

            Is this what it feels like to swallow curse after curse? Is this how Suguru felt all this time?

        He starts to think of that excruciating day when they met each other in Omoide Yokochō, how he was instructed to execute him, his other half and could not. Instead, he stood there and let him walk away. He regrets letting him go, blending with the crowd. The words he said to him that day still haunt him and quite honestly, he still does not think he has the answer to the question he asked him all those years ago. The heartbreaking honest answer, he kept hidden deep behind his six eyes was he never wanted to become the strongest. He did not want the whole Jujutsu world to rely on him, to use him. He did not solely want to be the strongest, or at least he did not want to be the strongest on his own. If he was going to be the strongest he wanted to do it with him by his side.

            He wanted to go back to when the two of them felt like they were on top of the world. He wanted to go back to when they would say, “We are the strongest.” The only way he has tried to fill this hole is teaching. Teaching the young jujutsu sorcerers and guiding them so they can create a better world, and prevent being in a world like the one he grew up in. He knew at one point that is what the other man would do, before he changed, before he went his own way. He knew they were supposed to teach the new generation. Guide them together, but instead he does it himself, for both of them, for a lost dream they once shared.   

His mind keeps circulating on the same thoughts. Should he have held onto him harder, or maybe a little less? Maybe he should never have let them become as close as they were. Maybe they should have just stayed classmates, nothing more, nothing less. But…he became greedy, in order to feel human. To have someone’s warm breath against your ear as they whisper a secret. To share meals with. To walk alongside someone as shoulders brush against one another. To smile, to laugh, to cry, to fight with. All to feel alive. If he did not share these moments with him, would there have been anyone else who would come along in his life to share them with, to make him feel the way he did with him. To feel things he did not know a person could feel. If it was not for him, would he have been blessed–would he have been cursed–with all these memories, experiences, feelings if it were not for him.

            He thinks of all the years that passed and how the years apart became longer than the years together. He thinks about the possibility of him leaving too. Leaving Jujutsu Tech and going to chase after him, to be with him. Maybe he would not feel the burning of the hole in his heart grow if he were to be by his side again. The life he lived up until this point was originally because of him, before his soul switched, this is the life that he originally wanted.This is what they were supposed to do. To protect, not to harm. He thinks maybe they did curse each other…

            Sitting in the empty classrooms of his youth as the sun set and the sky would change colors, he would sit reminiscing about the things he would tell him. How he made him listen to him, even when he was acting arrogant. No one had ever done that before, but for him, he listened to his friend as he would look into his dark and shining eyes. Through his words he trusted him, and would give him everything.

            That day he came back to their school where they had created so many memories. He could feel him even before seeing him. Even if it had been what seemed like another lifetime, he still memorized everything about him. Then there he was. With the people he now called his family, preaching about his new beliefs to his students. How his voice, his words pierced him because in a different life they were to be side by side teaching these students together. On that day though, he hears that man speak of a different world, a different life his former self would be against. He now speaks of war, of cursing each other. How he remembers his stomach twisting from his words. When did he believe bloodshed would fix everything? Does he not remember that day they almost died, how someone did die, how multiple people died, and what it felt like to see someone with a life lose it in seconds. How horrendous that felt. Here he is now calling for a war, where more lives can, will, and were lost.

            Finally, that day came. The day he had been avoiding since the day he turned his back, never to return. He is not sure if it was cruel or fitting for it to end that way. He really did not want it to be this way. Maybe it would have been easier for him if Yuuta and Rika were the ones that ended his life, or maybe it would not have. Until the end he trusted him. For the other man he held no hard feelings for those of Jujutsu High. They both knew how this would be their last moment with each other. He remembers how he looked into the injured man’s eyes and though they were the same eyes he had always gazed into all those years ago, he knew they were different now. He remembers how he would do anything to see them glow again even just for a moment before he would have to do what he has been dreading to do for all these years. For a second he hoped they could be like they were before.

            It was not that long ago this happened. All the feelings are still there like an open wound. The way he says his name still makes his heart beat a little faster, because it always sounded different when he would say it. Then, when he would speak his name off his tongue he could not help for his stomach to flip, to clench just slightly because was this really going to be the last time he says his name to him. No matter how much he wanted to shove that evening away from his thoughts, it still plays like it was yesterday, every day. He recalls how he wishes he would curse him even if it was a little in the end, but they both know that they could never do that to each other. Though what they will not admit is they already did curse each other. The truth is already there to prove it had done its toll on the two sorcerers. 

He thinks of his last words he said to him and just before he took his last breath. He had laughed and for the man reliving his memories like a featured film, to see him laugh one more time, for his eyes to soften like they once were when they were younger filled him up to the point of absolutely destroying him. Because after this, his worst nightmare was about to come true. To be in a world where the other man would not exist. It did not matter if they were not physically present in each other’s lives these past years, they still both knew that the other one was still breathing, still living their own life. And now…and now…this is where everything ended.

            He thinks back to how he took his last breath before taking someone else’s. He did everything he could to keep his composure, but he knew that the only person he ever had, knew that he was anything but composed. In a flash it was over, but everything else remained. Before he could do anything else he stood there before the man that he thought would always be in his life and let the tears fall from his eyes. The ones he always held back after all these years because now there would never be a “we.” This was it, this is how it ended.

            He thinks about how he had to leave his body there in the alley, to ensure the safety and lives of the jujutsu sorcerers of the future. He thinks back of having to tell Shoko of the death of their friend. She had always kept herself more composed and indifferent of their friend’s leaving. In that moment though he sees how her face drops and eyes begin to water as she too grieves the loss of her friend. Seeing his nonchalant friend and coworker break that composure caused him to break more than he already was. He had convinced her to not dispose of his body and because she was one to not want to get in the middle of things she did not go against his words.

            For the first time Gojo cannot be greedy, he spends the last remaining time he has left with Geto before letting his “family” give him a proper burial. The tears flowing down his face and how he wishes he could have more time and thinks about all their firsts and all their lasts, just as he is reliving them again in the place where time does not exist. Oh how he wishes he could see how they saw each other in each other’s eyes…

    Ever since that day he goes through each day missing him living the fantasies of what they could have had, knowing they are all false realities. He tries to live a life that he would have wanted him to live before things shattered, because that was the only life he ever really wanted. Even though a lot of the days were difficult, and it felt like he would wake up and fall asleep with tears in his sky filled eyes, there were days that felt like the past did not exist only the present. He held onto those days, those moments, because he knew they were precious.

            The hardest days were the ones where it seemed like a new life was forming and though the past can never be erased a new life for the future can still bloom, but then a certain smell, song, sound, place would appear or he would come across something that threw him back to the past and then that is where his mind would live. He would feel the uncertainty clinging with doubt, if he could even be able to get out of the whirling winds of the past to be able to live in the present again. Those days are the hardest because of how warming it is to live in the happy, beautiful moments of the past, because at one point everything he ever wanted was there.

            Now he thinks back to what was moments ago, or has it been longer than that? How long has it been since he saw him? It was him, his body at least, but everything else was not. In the remnants of his soul, he knew that was not the person he shared the deepest connection within his life. How could he be fooled? Did he really miss him that much? Was that truly the thing he desired most, was to have him back? He knows there is so much more in this world and in this life, but without him in it, it is a bit bleak.

            His name keeps ringing inside his head along with his own from the person who he cared about most in this world. When did everything become so cursed?

WC: 3,412

24 October 2022

00:31

Happy 1000th Day of Gojo's Sealing! You did it baby!

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A/N: Hello Lovelies thank you for reading! Apologies for the hurt, but I cannot help it. Shout out to my friend Mint who helped me edit! I highly appreciate it, since I wrote this while recovering from surgery the last two weeks (don't worry I am okay)

Also shout out to all the incredible people from the discord I am apart of and dealing with my SatoSugu brain rot. Plus for always being supportive and encouraging! <3

Please leave comments and thoughts also any constructive criticism! (I don't mind, constructive being key.)  If I missed a tag let me know. And remember the only heart  you should smash is the like button <3 REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

Ao3

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Patreon (I'm currently working on another series so I can post more soon)

[lit-in-thy-heart]

The day Percival discovers sleeveless hoodies is a wonderful day for him bc then whenever someone (Leon (concerned) or Arthur (slutshaming)) yells at him to put on a sweater it's the dead of winter he can put on his sleeveless hoodie and watch the hope drain from their eyes

thank you for this ask, it is absolutely wonderful, and i'm sorry it's taken so long to get to it but i wanted to do it justice because y e s percival is the biggest shit of them all 💕

Having been around for nearly two thousand years, Merlin had remarkable instincts when it came to fashion. Well, remarkable in Percival’s eyes at least. Then again, this was the same person whom he'd witnessed rock up to court for a meeting in one of Gwen's dresses because they had been bitter about not having a good enough garb as court sorcerer. (Apparently after ten years of wearing the same thing, Merlin had been hoping for a bit of variety.) (The conversation that had followed between him, Gwen, and Leon had been very entertaining to witness.) (It had resulted in Merlin being able to keep the dress.)

Merlin had (regrettably in their eyes, thankfully in everyone else's) taken Gwaine and Lancelot out shopping, mainly so they would both stop stealing his clothes, and, when they had returned, had beckoned Percival upstairs when the rest of the group was fussing over dinner plans. When Percival had followed them upstairs, Merlin had revealed a paper bag with a dramatic flourish and handed it to Percival, who had taken one look at the contents and grinned broadly.

Percival was still grinning three months later, in the middle of December, on the verge of being about to completely destroy Leon and Arthur.

As Gwen struggled to zip up a coat with a ridiculous number of zips, Lancelot and Gwaine fought over a tartan duffel coat, and Elyan stuffed himself into a puffer jacket that matched Arthur's, Percival folded his arms and leaned against the wall of the hallway in nothing but jeans and a tank top. Merlin was shrugging on a woollen trench coat over their hoodie and Leon, having just entered after checking the back door, was informing the warlock that he hadn't yet tied the laces of their Doc Martens. Percival was just waiting for the avalanche of 'it's the middle of winter, put some more clothes on' (Leon) and 'you'll be getting your tits out next, which is something none of us want to see' (Arthur) and 'I do' (Elyan) that would come barrelling his way as soon as his attire was noticed.

Merlin flamboyantly finished securing his laces and hastily got involved in the fight going on between their partners, successfully delaying a confrontation with Percival’s naked arms for a further two minutes as Leon extracted a second duffel coat. Arthur, having perfected the art of ignoring the shenanigans of Gwaine and Lancelot over one and a half thousand years, was not so easily distracted.

'Percival’s whoring himself again!' he declared, pointing at Percival in an overtly accusatory manner.

Leon dropped the duffel coat and rounded on Percival. 'For fuck's sake, Percy, put a jumper on at least, it's three degrees outside and we're going ice skating.'

'The ice is plastic though, isn't it?' Percival challenged, quirking an eyebrow.

Now Leon rounded on Merlin. 'Do one thousand five hundred years of constant companionship really mean that little to you?'

Merlin, who had been in the middle of helping Gwaine secure the fastenings on his duffel coat, looked up. 'I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about, Leon.'

'I was doing research into ice rinks,' Gwen chimed in. 'Percy was watching Midsomer Murders in the same room and I was talking out loud.'

There was a collective murmur of confirmation at the habit of Gwen reciting an entire Wikipedia page to anyone who had the misfortune to be I the vicinity.

'I never did find out who did murder everyone,' Percival sadly said.

'Which episode was it?' asked Lancelot, who had binged an entire series with Elyan one stormy night.

'The one with the bees.'

'Oh, that one! Yeah, the murderer was--'

'Spoilers!' Percival cried.

'It's Midsomer Murders,' Elyan reasoned, shaking his head. 'It's not like Lancelot’s revealed that Darth Vader is actually Luke's father.'

Gwaine looked scandalised. 'He's what?'

'See, this is why you don't fall asleep during group movie nights,' Arthur broke in, staring pointedly at Gwaine.

'Yeah well at least I don't have a Luke Skywalker complex and almost fell in love with my sister--'

'I never loved Morgana like that, that's disgusting, I've never loved any woman but Gwen--'

'It is still three degrees outside,' Leon interrupted, voice cutting across the bubbling conflict. 'Percival, put a jumper on. Don't make me ask you again.'

Rolling his eyes, Percival stomped up the stairs in his walking boots, sending flakes of dry mud across the floorboards. 'I still say that frostbite is a hoax,' he darkly grumbled.

'Frostbite is not a hoax!'

Despite Leon's voice being joined by six other voices, Percival leaned over the bannister. He could take them all if he wanted to. 'I see your frostbite and raise you Ismere.'

'I see your exposed arms and raise you three fucking degrees,' Leon fired back.

Around Leon's body, Merlin winked at Percival, who put his hands up in mock surrender. 'Fine, fine, give me one minute.'

Leaving the others to finish wrapping up, Percival darted into his and Elyan's bedroom and plunged his hand into the paper bag Merlin had given him. Balling up the garment in his fist, he ran down the stairs and landed at the bottom with a decisive thud. Certain that all the attention was now on him, Percival unscrewed the item of clothing and maintained fierce eye contact with both Leon and Arthur as he dropped it over his head.

He slowly tightened the strings around the hood and watched in delight from his makeshift cave as Leon's face whitened, drinking in Percival’s brand-new sleeveless hoodie. 'I put on a jumper, can we go now?'

Arthur's jaw dropped. 'Leon, you can't seriously allow this--'

'Can we not have an argument about this again?' interrupted Gwen after a sharp elbow from Elyan. 'Percival has put on another layer and we're going to miss the booking--'

Arthur, however, was still indignant. 'It doesn't have sleeves. It is not a jumper.'

'Merlin, when you bought it, was it or was it not in the jumper section of whatever shop you got it from?' asked Percival, folding his still exposed arms.

'It was.'

Gwen and Elyan had glanced over their shoulders and were hurriedly trying to unlock the door. It became apparent why when Leon's voice cut sharply through the room.

'I am going to kill you, Merlin.'

'One of the drawbacks of immortality, I'm afraid,' Merlin cheerfully said, taking Lancelot’s and Gwaine’s hands and tugging them towards the door. 'It's rather difficult to kill me.'

Leon muttered something under his breath that only Percival caught. It was good to know that his arms were no longer the target of Leon's ruthless campaign.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Tenika Davis, Jupiter's Legacy

Actress, model, and Taekwondo champion Tenika Davis stars as Petra Small in Netflix’s first original comic book series, Jupiter’s Legacy. Tenika began her career as one of the finalists on the first season of Canada’s Next Top Model before signing with Ford Models. She played a lead role in the indie hit, Jumping the Broom, with other credits including Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings, Degrassi: The Next Generation, Lost Girl, and Skins. Tenika lives in Ontario with her two cats, Maximillian and Symeon, and loves to travel, watch movies, read, study astrology, and paddle surf in her spare time.

How did you get into the mindset to play Petra Small? How do you stay in character?

Petra fights fiercely to protect the people she loves. That is something I was able to identify with. When I was growing up, all I wanted was to make my parents proud. I knew Fitz and Petra's family story all too well; as a child, my parents got divorced because of an extramarital affair. I remember thinking that their divorce was somehow my fault, and if I could do something to make them proud, it would bring my family back together. Petra is a classic overachiever. What drives her is the need for her father's love and approval. She wants a family and is able to find that dynamic through The Sampsons, who she considers family to her and Fitz.

Can you share a memory from the set of Jupiter’s Legacy that stands out to you?

During filming the big fight Supervillian fight scene, it was 3:30 am, and we had 30mins left after a 14 hour day, and only enough time for a few takes to get the shot. Everyone was feeling the pressure. I was the last person to go, and when they called action, I felt a fire erupt in me; I screamed and ran straight for the target throwing those punches as fast as I could. I broke through mental and physical limits that day and surprised myself with what I was capable of doing.

Your sun sign is Cancer. What's the truest meme you've ever seen about your sign?

They may forgive but never forget. Cancerians hold on to things forever.

What advice would you give to young Black talent looking to get their first break in the entertainment industry?

Everything is a process, and nothing great happens on your own. You will only be as great as your team and the people you surround yourself with. To make your dreams come true, it takes hard work, discipline, faith, and belief in yourself. These are the things that will keep you going in the face of adversity.

Without any spoilers, which of Petra Small’s scenes from Jupiter’s Legacy are you most excited for viewers to watch? Why?

There is a scene between Fitz and Petra at the Union of Justice. It's so touching because of the loving family dynamic. It's simple, a father seeing his daughter's struggle and saying exactly what she needs to hear to continue fighting. I think people will be affected by and see themselves in the beauty of that moment.

Which representation of the Black Experience helped shape you and your career?

Bishop TD Jakes was one of the first producers I worked with within my career. While filming Jumping the Broom, he gave the cast a few of his books. I didn't even know he was a pastor at the time. I read them all. I was so inspired by his story of how he built his church from scratch with no money. I knew that if he could do that, I could do the same thing with my career. He inspired me to never give up, keep pressing forward, and to this day is still one of my greatest mentors.

Can you give us a one-sentence modeling lesson or tip?

Think the thought, and your eyes will tell the story.

Do you know your moon and rising sign? Do those vibe with how you see yourself?

My moon sign is Aquarius; I enjoy spending time with myself, building my own future, and strive to become better with the power of my own will. I've always enjoyed setting my own standards and breaking through them. My rising sign is Pisces; there is a vulnerable child-like innocence and curiosity I've learned to love and appreciate about myself. It's true I can be and do most things I put my mind to. My mother actually named me 'Tenika' because she believed I would be a perfect 10.

What are you watching and/or listening to right now?

I'm a junkie for real-life success stories. Right now, I'm tuned into The Tony Robbins Podcast on Spotify. Not only is his story inspiring, but every person he has on the podcast has achieved excellence in their respective field. I've become obsessed with learning out how. Success leaves clues.

What’s next for you?

I want to learn every aspect of producing television & film and continue to learn how to use the medium to help create meaningful and impactful stories. As well as learn how to sword fight...

Thanks for taking the time, Tenika! Jupiter's Legacy is now streaming on Netflix. Photos courtesy of Netflix.

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Back in December 2016, during a sleepover, my friends and I decided to watch EXO's Chanyeol's most recent movie, "So I Married an Anti-Fan". It effortlessly became one of my favourite movies, so much so that I rewatch it —at least— once a year.

Therefore, when it was first announced that South Korea was going to produce a drama based on the same story, I was thrilled. The feeling only increased when I found out that the male lead was Choi Tae-Joon, whom I loved because of Suspicious Partner. Later (to be more precise, this year), I discovered that the other lead was the one and only Sooyoung from SNSD!

The drama was filmed back in 2018, and it was supposed to air a loooot sooner, but it had a few problems and it finally came out this year. Since I don't like waiting for episodes to come out each week, I waited until it finished airing to watch it... And, today, I finished it!

So, here's my review, fresh out the oven!

· · ·

So I Married an Anti-Fan is a 2021 South Korean drama, featuring Choi Tae-Joon, Choi Sooyoung, Hwang Chansung and Han Ji-Ahn. It's based on the novel "그래서 나는 안티팬과 결혼했다" (So I Married an Anti-Fan), written by Kim Eun Jun and published in 2010.

· · ·

♡ PLOT:

The story revolves around Hoo Joon (Tae-Joon), a well-known idol, and Geun Young (Sooyoung), a magazine reporter. They meet during an event, where a series of misunderstandings leads them to have a bad impression of each other.

For this reason, when Geun Young loses her job, she's under the impression that it was Hoo Joon's doing and is therefore keen on "reveal" Joon's real character. However, her retaliation backfires, and she attracts a lot of attention as his "anti-fan".

Later, a TV producer approaches them both to star in a reality show. Geun Young and Hoo Joon accept and think to give each other a hard time on set. But, as time goes by, they get to know each other better and better.

· · ·

♡ EPISODES:

It's made up of 16 episodes, running for an hour each (i.e., your typical k-drama).

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

-Geun Young (FL): She's the best character, hands down (I swear I'm not being biased because I love Sooyoung).

For some reason, I've seen a lot of bad comments about this character. I don't truly understand why some people said that she didn't stand up for herself or that she was so-so, when she dealt really well with everything that had happened to her. I'd like to see all those people in her shoes—I bet they'd have cracked up quickly.

Also, she's like the least toxic character I've ever come across in a drama. She waits patiently for Joon to deal with his problems and doesn't jump to conclusions regarding his relationship with In Hyeong and Jae Joon. She lets him do his thing, is an independent woman, and tries to be as little of a burden as she can to the people she cares about. So, props to her!

▫ ▫ ▫

-Hoo Joon (ML): Although I overall liked his character, I admit that if I hadn't previously watched the movie, I'd probably be wary of him at the beginning. But, don't worry: as the story progresses, you get to know him better. He's patient and thinks of other people's feelings and well-being a lot (sometimes, a little too much for his own good, but he's a good boy).

I felt the need to include that there was this one scene where he acts... In a way that I didn't find appealing. Fortunately, he isn't like that all throughout the drama. Also, he isn't toxic like a lot of the male leads in drama-land. If you're wondering which scene I'm referring to, here's a spoiler: *SPOILER ALERT* When he and Geun Young start dating, they are requested to film an advertisement together. In the filming, he acts all "jealous" because the dress she was wearing was too short for his liking. I'm sorry, but she's the only one who has a say on how short a dress she's wearing is—not you, not even if you're her partner *END OF SPOILER ALERT*.

▫ ▫ ▫

-JJ/Jae Joon (SML): Jae Joon is the second male lead, and he was portrayed by 2PM's Chansung.

I'm sorry, but I never could come to terms with this character, not even during the last episodes. If the writers' intention was for me to hate him, they (and Chansung's acting) totally achieved that purpose.

He is incredibly selfish and keeps this attitude up to episode 13/14. Towards the ending, the story tries that the audience feels some sympathy towards him—it is shown why he acted the way he did. Nevertheless, in my opinion, while his past may explain his actions, it doesn't justify any of them. That's why I couldn't bring myself to feel sympathetic or empathetic towards him. *SPOILER ALERT* In fact, I think Hoo Joon was too nice to be there for him in the last two or three episodes. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

He's also outright abusive. *SPOILER ALERT* I mean, he slapped In Hyeong and broke her laptop ¿?... Even though I didn't like her that much, nothing justifies that kind of violent behaviour. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

▫ ▫ ▫

-In Hyeong (SFL): She's the second female lead, portrayed by actress Han Ji-Ahn.

Oh, man. I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around this character. I was just going to say that I couldn't stand her because she was always purposely putting a spanner in the works, making everyone's life difficult.

However, as I was drafting this review, I began reflecting on the character and felt sympathy for her. She was in a vulnerable place—leaving aside that she felt abandoned by her first love, she had trouble trying to make her career take off, and she was in a really abusive relationship. It could be argued that JJ and In Hyeon were both toxic to each other, but it was clear that he was the one with the upper hand (he was the CEO of her new agency, which brings a real disbalance of power).

Moreover, it was hinted several times that all she went through took a toll on her mental health (*SPOILER ALERT* she was always taking pills to calm down, and she freaking tried to kill herself!!!!!!! *END OF SPOILER ALERT*). I believe she needed professional help to put herself back together, so she could let go of her past and finally leave that abusive relationship.

· · ·

♡ COUPLES:

Since this drama mostly gravitates towards romantic relationships, I'm including this section.

▫ ▫ ▫

-Geun Young x Hoo Joon: They are your typical enemies to lovers.

In the beginning, their relationship was tainted by a lot of misunderstandings, which led them to hate each other's guts (but, where's the charm in a k-drama that isn't filled with misunderstandings, am I right?). Once they started to spend more time together, they began understanding each other better. In time, they were able to leave their pride aside and got rid of their prejudices (yes, the story gives Jane Austen-ish vibes, so much so that "Pride and Prejudice" is mentioned a few times).

Their chemistry was alright. I would have changed some parts of the script that made a lot of scenes to be super cringey—especially, before some of their kisses (like, what a way to ruin such an awaited moment!).

The thing I liked the most about them was that neither of them was toxic, and they knew how and when to give the other person space. They were sweet, but not unbearable sweet—just the exact amount.

▫ ▫ ▫

-In Hyeong x Jae Joon: I don't know if they can be considered a true couple, but I'm adding them here just to repeat that I HATED THEM TOGETHER.

· · ·

♡ SOME PERSONAL INTERPRETATIONS AND THOUGHTS:

For me, the story tries to show the two sides of the same coin: things that may seem completely different, but are essentially the same. You can see it with Hoo Joon/Geun Young, their friends, and even with Hoo Joon/Jae Joon. Of course, this could be argued—it is just my personal impression.

Also, while the drama condemns some of the toxic fan behaviour, it sometimes romanticises it. *SPOILER ALERT* one fan freaking kidnapped him, and everything was suddenly alright ¿¿ Nuh-uh *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

· · ·

♡ DRAMA VS. MOVIE:

As I mentioned above, there's a prior Chinese movie from 2016 that was based on this novel. It features EXO's Chanyeol, Yuan Shan Shan, SNSD's Seohyun, and Jian Chao.

For obvious reasons, the story is shrunk down in the movie. There are a lot of things that weren't included in the movie, other things were overly simplified, and some stuff was missing and/or changed.

If you want to have a good laugh, then I recommend you to watch the movie. It's filled with non-sensical comedy that, in my opinion, China excels at. However, if you are more inclined towards drama, then the South Korean version is the one for you (you'll laugh, too, don't worry).

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

This is, basically, a sweet enemies-to-lovers, famous-person-and-normal-person story. If you like any of those troupes, then you're in for a treat.

It's a really lighthearted story that will make you laugh. Don't expect a complicated plot because there won't be one. It's ideal to have a break from all those dramas where you can't miss a single detail because you'll get lost, or from those dramas which plots are so heavy they end up tiring your mind out.

I loved the cast, and their acting was great (especially Chansung's, because he made me hate his character with a passion, lmao).

ALSO, if you like Sung Hoon (My Secret Romance, Oh My Venus) like me, then WATCH THIS DRAMA, lol. He has a guest role in some episodes!

· · ·

So I Married an Anti-Fan is available on VIKI!

· · ·

If you read the whole review, thank you very much! I hope you liked it.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Director Kate Herron calls from her childhood bedroom. She's staying at her parents' home in Southeast London for the summer, having spent the past year apart due to the pandemic and directing her latest series, Marvel's Loki. "It's so surreal seeing the show go out," she says over Zoom, "and being in the room that I was last in as a teenager."

Loki's first three episodes have seen the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) team up with Agent Mobius (Owen Wilson) and the all-powerful Time Variance Authority to track down a fugitive Variant of himself: A female Loki that goes by Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) who's set on blowing up the Sacred Timeline and, with it, the MCU as we know it.

"My dad, bless him, he was never into Marvel before, but now he's obsessed with it," she says. "When I got the job, he started watching his way through the films, and he's got all these different YouTubers that he now watches for theories, and he tries to get spoilers out of me. He's like, 'What does it mean?!' and I'm like, 'Dad, I can't tell you!' It's very sweet, but very funny."

Now, with three episodes left of the season, she's bracing for their first family viewing experience. "I might not be able to, though. I might be like, 'You have to watch it by yourselves and then we can talk!'" she laughs. "Wait to hear the Loki theme and be like, 'Oh, I can go downstairs now.'"

In the meantime, Herron fielded all of ET's midseason questions about making Loki's bisexuality canon in the MCU, flexing more of his magic than ever before and why Sylvie isn't really Lady Loki or the Enchantress.

We are halfway through the season. Outside your parents, how has the reaction felt so far?

It's been amazing. We had these big ideas in it -- like, about free will and good and evil -- and wanting to [know that] if we're going back in with Loki because he's so beloved, that it's going to be a good story for that character, but some fresh terrain. I think the response has been pretty joyous and it's just so fun seeing what people are liking, what people's theories are. I couldn't be more happy, to be honest.

Being someone who appears pretty online and active on social media, how deep are you going into reading what people say and diving into those theories and all that?

I definitely read a lot of them -- I don't comment on them -- but I used to love Lost and Game of Thrones, and I was on Reddit, commenting, like, "Ooh, maybe it means this or means this," and I think that's the fun thing with our show, right? Our fans are so smart and it's fun seeing what they're getting right and what's not right but is very interesting. The Easter eggs they dig up are always amazing to me. Some of them we put in there, and I'm like, "Well, let's see..." and I'm like, "Oh, they found it!" So, it's really fun tracking it online. It's very weird directing something where you know every frame will be [screen]grabbed by some fans because they're looking for stuff.

I loved your tweet about why it was important for you to confirm that Loki is bisexual in the show. Not really reveal -- because he's bisexual in the comics -- but make that canon. Talk to me about having those conversations with Marvel.

I think it was something very important to everyone. And I felt like, OK, how can we acknowledge this? We have aspects of the story that are there, so how do we build this into the story so it feels earned in the moment? I didn't want it to feel like we were just wedging something in, but we had this beautiful scene where these two characters are being really raw and really honest about who they are, and I was like, "Well, it is a part of who he is and who they are." For me, talking with Michael [Waldron] and Bisha [K. Ali], it just felt like it was the right moment for that line. This episode is really beautiful for me, because it's these two characters getting to know each other, so in that sense, it felt like the right place for that conversation to happen. And I thought it was done really beautifully by the writers.

Obviously, like I've said, it's very personal to me, and I said it was a small step in some ways -- because obviously, he's just talking about it -- but in the bigger scale of things, I'm like, oh no, it's massive actually. If I saw that when I was 10, it would be really big for me. It's been really nice getting comments from people online. Some people were like, "It helped me actually talk about how I feel to my family and helped me come out." And I thought, "Well, if it helped one person do that, then it's worth it."

This is the MCU's first lead character who is openly queer. Did you know that? Were you aware of how big a milestone this would be?

Yeah. Well, in some senses, yes, and in some senses you're never sure, right? Because [Marvel is] so secretive about all their other projects. [Laughs] For me, I was like, I'm telling Loki's story, it's a part of who they are and I just want to acknowledge it. It's canon in the comics and if we can make it canon in the films, that would be amazing. When I came on board, I was like, if there's a way to do this, it would mean a lot to me and, I'm sure, a lot of people. But it was very welcomed, and I think we're all very proud of how we did that.

This may be getting into spoiler territory that you aren't able to talk about, but acknowledging one's sexuality is one important part of representation, seeing it play out through relationships is another. Can we expect to see any further exploration of what it means for Loki to be bisexual in this show?

I'm trying to think how to answer your question. [Laughs] I would say in our story, this is how we acknowledge it. But I hope that that paves the way for deeper exploration.

We're halfway through the season. What were your biggest goals in these first three episodes?

I think the biggest one was obviously, the Loki we're with in this story is on a completely different path, so it was tracking his character in the sense that he basically sees this amazing arc that the other Loki had gone on across the MCU movies, he sees that he reconciles with his brother, but that wasn't him in that moment. He's watching a different version of himself. But seeing that moment and seeing that he has room for growth and change is really interesting with our Loki, because he's in a very different headspace. So, it was tracking, what's familiar about this character from the Loki that we've seen over the last 10 years go from villain to antihero? And what is going to be completely different and completely different sides to this character that we get to now dig our teeth into? That was something really important to me and to Tom and the writing team, and it was really fun unpacking that and what his identity means.

The other challenges, honestly, were just setting up the TVA, because it's outside of time and space and giving that a grounding and a reality and making that feel like a whole new exciting corner of the MCU. That was a big responsibility, and I was really excited by that. And then you have the bigger arc of the story, but you also knowing it's going out weekly on TV. So, how are we going to track this week by week. Where are we leaving the characters and what are we leaving for the audience? Something we always thought about was we knew there'd be discussion week to week, so it was like, "Where are we going to give them certain bits of information across the show?" We wanted to provoke conversation and discussion about even just things like free will, you know?

I will say about the TVA, I'm basically a human Miss Minutes stan account. I think she's the baddest bitch in the MCU. I watch every Miss Minutes fancam that pops up on my Twitter feed.

She's incredible! What I love about it is that she's in our first episode and she actually used to come out of the presentation that Loki watches -- she came out on the screen -- but it was too crazy. We were like, "OK, we can't do that in the first episode. We'll do it in the second episode!" But what I love about her is that we're seeing the TVA through Loki's eyes and it's, like, the status quo, right? And if our status quo is a Southern-talking, Roger Rabbit-style clock, the show is going to probably get quite weird. I think that's what I love about her. And obviously, Tara [Strong] is awesome. Yeah, Miss Minutes is a lot of fun.

You talked about exploring who Loki is and could be. He's always had an arsenal of powers, but in this series, you really get to explore and define what his power set is. What were those conversations like?

That was something else, coming in, I was so excited about. We have six hours of him, let's see some more magic. Because across the comics, he's super powerful, and for example, in the last episode, that's what was so exciting to me about that, the oner at the end of episode 3 was that I've seen a lot of oners but I haven't seen one with magic. So, I was like, let's put loads of magic in there! We get Loki using his telekinesis and his magic blasts and then also Sylvie, as well, and her powers.

For me, it was exciting getting to bring those in in a way that pushed the story forwards. Because I get it, when he first lands in the TVA, they can't use magic, so I know if I was watching, I'd be like, "What? No magic?!" But I think that's the fun thing is, we still have three episodes to go and also it was fun to put him on Lamentis and see him using his powers in different ways. It was definitely something important to me and the team, was to get to show a little bit more of him. But across the films, you can only do so much. Now we have six hours, so it felt like, of course we have to delve into that more.

I don't know if you saw this on Twitter, one of my favorite reactions to episode 3 was someone tweeted a screenshot of Sylvie screaming and her hands glowing and wrote, "she did the meme!!"

[Laughs] That's great!

We've now officially met Sylvie, and we're starting to piece together that this may be sort of a hybrid character of Lady Loki and Sylvie Lushton, the Enchantress. Are you able to confirm that you pulled from both to create your Sylvie? Or is that something that's to be further revealed?

I would say there's more to be delved into. One thing I would say is, like, she's different to the comics. Like, she's a unique character, but obviously, there's things that have been pulled from. I think for her character, she's on the run and she's called Sylvie and she's dyed her hair. The blonde that we associate with Sylvie is played in that sense, but it makes sense for her character within our story. But I would say deeper than that, yeah, there's more to be revealed about her character to comes.

The main thing I would say is: Lady Loki in the comics is a very different character to our character, obviously. I love that character and I think she's got a very different journey. But our Sylvie is a female Loki, in that sense -- because in episode 1 and 2, they know it's a Loki they're tracking -- but I think that's part of the discussion. It's almost like Loki -- as in Tom Loki -- he's like, "Wait, how much of my life have you got? Who are you?" And I think that's the real question is, who is she? So, we will discuss that as the show goes on. Why does she not like being called Loki? What's her past? Where did she come from?

Tom and Sophia have such great chemistry, but how challenging was it for you and Michael and Sophia and the writers to create a character that essentially has to match up with our Loki, who's had however many films to become the fan-favorite character that he is?

It starts in the writing. Because she's a unique creation, and that was exciting and I was intrigued where they were pulling from with the comics. I was like, OK, that's cool. Beyond that, I think it's casting it. Sophia is an incredible actor. I've worked with her before. She has this fire in her and she brings this amazing vulnerability to all her characters, but she's also, like, so funny. It's just, so many of these things she always brings, I was like, they're so Loki. So, I was like, "We've got to get her to read!" And we were just all blown away by her read of it.

She definitely can hold her own. That's the other thing, as well. I know her, and I was like, she will hold her own. I know she will. Because she's going against Tom's Loki and that's such the fun thing about them. Even just on the train, where it's the end of the world and Loki's solution is, "I'm going to have a party and I'm going to have a drink. I'm going to have a lovely time." And her solution is, "I'm not going to have a glass of champagne, thanks. I'm going to focus on the mission of getting off the moon." Those little differences is what's quite fun about them to me. How are they different, and how are they the same?

Was there something you got to do as a director in these first three episodes that you had never done before that you were especially excited or nervous or both to tackle?

I suppose so much of the show, right? Because I've done a lot of drama and a lot of comedy, but they were like, "Here you go! Here's the reins to this massive, genre-driven piece where you have to set up a new corner of the MCU and you're going to have this beloved character." There was a lot to carry. But I'd say in terms of something I was excited about, only because Kevin Feige was teasing me, when we filmed the big oner at the end of episode 3, I was really inspired in the writing, because it sounded like you were really with the characters. I love doing long takes anyway and I remember thinking, "Oh man, this sequence feels like the one that we should do as this oner," because I want the audience to feel like they're with Sylvie and Loki in this moment, and it's also a moment where you finally start to see an apocalypse and it feels more real, because you're seeing the horror and the terror that's going along with that.

For me, that was exciting, but the really cheesy bit that made me so excited is they had these foam rocks that fell on people, but it felt like real movie magic to me. I was so obsessed with the rocks. I was like, "Oh my god. This is like real, big Hollywood filmmaking." And I remember Kevin Feige was like, "You can take a rock home, if you want," and I was like, "Oh my god!" So I have this rock. It's in bubble wrap now, and I'm going to unpack it when I move into my place. But that's probably honestly the most excited I've ever been. [Laughs] I was just so excited by the rocks. Oh, and also, I remember when we were at Roxxcart and Tom gets thrown into those robo dogs, I was obsessed with the robo dogs. He was like, "I think this is the happiest I've ever seen you." So, those are my favorite moments on set. The foam rocks and the robo dogs.

Somebody's going to come into your flat in the future and there's going to be a shelf with just a rock and a robotic dog on it.

Mhmm! And I'll be like, "Yeah, guys, I did something." [Laughs] They'll be like, "What is this...?" But the foam rocks are genuinely amazing, because they look like real, heavy rocks, but they're so light. I was so fascinated with them. I was so excited. I made a lot of low budget stuff before this, so it was a big deal to me.

My favorite part of the first three episodes is the Kate Berlant cameo. How did that come to be?

Basically, I love comedy and my producer, Kevin Wright, does as well, and we were trying to think of people that could be fun. We've got Josh [Fadem] in episode 1, and that was a miracle. I just spoke to her about the part and was like, "This is a very small role, but if you're interested, you're very talented and you're so funny." And she was like, "You know what? That sounds really fun. Renaissance faire? Yeah, I'll come do it." So, it was very kind of her to come down and do that for us. She's so funny, man. She's so funny.

Do you let her riff at all?

We did. We have a lot of alts and a lot of very extended bits of her talking to the Minutemen. I think there's one where she talks about a bird show at the faire. She's so funny. I was very flattered and grateful that she did that for us.

I'm going to start the #ReleaseTheKateBerlantCut campaign. I want a whole episode of her alts. Or she can be the new Stan Lee and cameo in every MCU project. Before I let you go, if you had to choose one word to tease these upcoming three episodes, what is that word?

Hmm. I thought of one word, but then I'm like, it's spoiler-y, so I can't say that. [Laughs] Oh, one word. Exciting? I have to say "exciting," because I can't say the other one I wanted to say!

[plasticnightmaredoll]

So, the "Justice League" finally got its own movie, eh? Oh, that thing from 2017 was just trash. It's gone. We don't need to look at it anymore.

But in all seriousness, it's great people called out for the Zack Snyder cut of the movie and actually got it! And, yes, it is a vast improvement over the Joss Whedon cut.

Now, my feelings about the DCEU have been pretty divided:

I actually did enjoy "Man of Steel" and found Superman to be relatable and likable for once (I'm not a Superman fan and don't come for me)

"Wonder Woman" was very entertaining and easily the best entry for me in the movie series so far.

"Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" was a hot mess. Lots of good ideas but it was executed poorly. It felt kind of cheesy at times, especially that whole "Save Martha" thing. Jesse Eisenburg is not a convincing Lex Luthor. Ben Affleck is not a good actor and is a terrible Batman/Bruce Wayne. He's not as bad as George Clooney, but he's not much better either.

"Wonder Woman 1984" was a massive glow-down. Poor quality writing, Maxwell Lord was a weak villain, Cheetah was laughable, and the ending was so goddamn corny! Not to mention, it took ages for anything interesting to happen, and what was the deal with Steve Trevor possessing another dude's body? I mean...what?

Haven't seen "Suicide Squad" in its entirety but I do know and have seen enough to decide that it's a huge misstep. Haven't seen "Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)" either but I have some interest in it so perhaps someday.

Haven't watched "Aquaman" but probably will eventually but I'm just not very motivated to see it. I like Jason Mamoa as Aquaman/Arthur Curry, but...I don't know. The trailers didn't really grab my attention.

The 2017 Joss Whedon version of "Justice League" was terrible -- worse than "Batman v Superman," worse than "Wonder Woman 1984." I thought the movie moved too quickly, lacked proper character development, and had some bad CGI (I mean, Mustache Gate, am I right?)

Onto the Synder Cut for "Justice League!" Spoilers ahead, of course:

These are really a collection of thoughts, opinions, and observations I had while watching the movie. I have only seen the 2017 film once and honestly don't want to watch it ever again, not even to "refresh my memory" of some details.

Steppenwolf

Steppenwolf was such a pitiful villain in the Whedon Cut. The CGI for him was terrible, and he looked like some weird dude in armor. His personality and motives were paper thin as well. He was a throw-away, token villain, and the only things memorable about him was his name and voice.

In the Snyder Cut, not only was Steppenwolf's CGI much more refined, his character design was imposing. His armor seemed to be alive, too, always shifting slightly, this way and that, which was an impressive sight. His motives, while nothing too deep or extraordinary, gave him a little more depth: he pissed off Darkseid and had to make up for it, and was clearly afraid of what could happen to him if he failed.

The name and voice obviously were still memorable but combined with the other improvements to his character, they were icing on the cake.

That being said, I don't think Steppenwolf is as intriguing or even remotely sympathetic as Loki and Thanos in the MCU.

Darkseid

Was Darkseid even mentioned in the Whedon cut? I can't remember and I don't want to watch that shitty movie again just to find out. However, I don't recall Darkseid making an appearance or even being spoken of in the 2017 version. Now, I haven't read DC (or Marvel) comics, so I don't know a lot about the guy, but he is supposedly one of the more iconic villains.

His motives are pretty simple, though: command and conquer. There isn't a lot of depth so far in the movies but he does pose a much larger threat than Steppenwolf did. You could tell Steppenwolf was intimidated by Darkseid, who was about as cold and menacing as they come. He's a complete villain in that regard, having no emotions and only seeking power for himself.

He looked great in the Snyder Cut. He was actually really fucking scary-looking. He made the beefcake Steppenwolf look like a puppy.

I'm glad that Darkseid made an appearance, even if he didn't fight the Justice League. It alludes to a much broader story, as well as foreshadows an epic boss fight down the line -- assuming the Snyder Cut is popular enough to convince the studios to make a direct sequel and not just abandon things in favor of some sort of soft reboot.

Superman/Clark Kent/Henry Cavill/Mustache Gate

Let's get this out of the way: Henry Cavill is hot af.

Ok, now that we got that out of the way, hooray for Snyder for getting rid of those nasty reshoot scenes involving Henry's CGI'd mouth! Can't say I missed them, you know? I mean, in the 2017 Whedon Cut, you could always spot reshoot scenes based on whether or not Henry's mouth looked normal and totally strange.

I think the 2017 movie had Superman grab Batman by the neck and ask, "Tell me: Do you bleed?" I'm relieved that was removed from the Synder Cut because it added too much of an evil tone to Superman, and we could clearly tell he was most upset with Batman upon being revived.

One massive problem with the 2017 movie was that it made every member of the Justice League look like bumbling idiots without Superman's help. It was downright embarrassing and unrealistic. I mean, you're telling me that Wonder Woman, a goddess, can't take on Steppenwolf? Or Victor Stone, a cyborg with incredible abilities? Making Superman key to winning isn't the problem, it's how it was done in the 2017 movie. He's already OP but that shouldn't mean his comrades have to be useless in comparison.

Superman was allowed to be OP in the Snyder Cut without making his team look incompetent. Like in the Avengers movies, everyone in the Justice League had a purpose and all of them worked together to defeat Steppenwolf. Superman obviously was key to winning, but, again, it wasn't like he was the only capable one during the battle.

I did like the black suit. It's kind of ominous but also very cool at the same time. But is it also foreshadowing something? I don't know...I haven't read the comics so I really don't have any idea lol.

Batman/Bruce Wayne/Batfleck

One glaring issue I still have is Ben Affleck is a mediocre actor at best and he's a terrible Bruce Wayne/Batman. I mean, they couldn't have found anyone else? Someone with, like, good acting abilities?

Martian Manhunter

This whole time -- THIS WHOLE GOTDAMM TIME -- Martian Manhunter was hiding in plain sight! General Swanwick, who I remember from "Man of Steel," IS Martian Manhunter. I didn't see that coming. I mean, I knew Martian Manhunter would appear in the Snyder Cut but I didn't know he'd have an alternate identity, let alone that of an existing character in the DCEU.

As much as I did like seeing him, I am glad he didn't play a big part because the movie already has plenty of characters as is, and introducing yet another one could have slowed things down and taken away from developing the plot.

The Runtime/Pacing

I mentioned already that the Whedon Cut felt rushed and needed much more time to develop its characters and plot. While I had doubts about whether or not making "Justice League" four hours long would be a good idea, it turns out that it was just what the story needed.

Character development was actually existent, and Cyborg/Victor Stone received a detailed backstory, and Flash/Barry Allen got some extra tidbits added to his character's story/background as well.

I actually thought Victor was a fascinating (if a bit tragic) character in the Whedon cut and was disappointed that he just sort of, like, popped up and fought alongside the other Justice League members with the tiniest amount of depth.

Despite an epic 4-hour runtime, it didn't feel slow, nor did it feel like any scenes were "filler." Every scene had a purpose and kept the story moving at a steady, comprehensible pace. It felt more like a 2.5-3 hour movie, honestly, which is a feat since pacing can often be one of a film's biggest issues ("Avengers: Endgame" also accomplished this feat with its 3-hour runtime feeling more like 2-2.5 hours but with no negative side effects of that). Breaking the movie into chapters, including an epilogue was a tad strange because it's not a very common thing, but I think it helped break up the epic 4 hours into separate, manageable but still cohesive pieces. Also, they helped easily transition from one portion to the next smoothly without any awkward cuts.

The Flash/Barry Allen/Ezra Miller

Barry still amused me in the Whedon Cut. He brought some good-natured humor and charm to the movie, preventing it from being too brooding and intense.

I think Ezra is a talented actor and does well in the Barry Allen role but he is, unfortunately, a problematic person. I mean, if he gets recast, he gets recast but hopefully, they pick someone else who has some acting abilities worth noting (i.e. Not a Ben Affleck type of actor)

The Final Battle

It was a huge improvement over the 2017 cut, as everyone was key to winning the final battle, not just Superman. It is meant to be a team of costumed heroes defeating a villain, not just one OP member of the team outdoing everyone else.

That being said, I felt that the final battle was a little bit anti-climatic. I don't know what it was but I just thought that it would be longer? I expected more to happen? More fighting? Not sure how to describe it, but I do feel like it wasn't as impressive as it could have been.

The Epilogue

A dystopian future involving an evil Superman and Joker somehow working WITH Batman was just...crazy. I mean, evil Superman, I can believe, but Joker and Batman working together (even reluctantly) is quite a sight.

Based on what I've been reading, this nightmare Bruce has could be setting up not one but two sequels for "Justice League." I would like to see how things will play out even if things get kind of dark. I'm getting the impression that Darkseid will kill Lois Lane, thus breaking Superman emotionally and making him compliant. That is unless Bruce intervenes in this timeline and prevents that from happening...but at the expense of his own life. Oh dear...

I definitely enjoyed the Zack Snyder version of "Justice League," and would definitely watch it again and again and again. I already have forgotten the majority of the Whedon Cut, and after seeing Synder's version, I think the 2017 movie will be rendered null and void. I hope it is just expelled from the DCEU canon entirely. That, and we get the "Justice League" sequels, preferably from Zack Snyder (Say what you want but I think he is a pretty good director for the most part and seems to really care about this work).

I honestly want to see a fight between the Justice League and Darkseid because I think that's what we're trying to build up to, and seeing as how Darkseid is one of the legendary villains in the DC comics, I would be extremely disappointed if this doesn't come to pass.

Also, as much as I like Batman/Bruce Wayne, seeing him sacrifice himself to save the team, including Lois and thus Superman's sanity, would be something else. It would bring everyone even closer together, for one, and I think that the negativity shared between Batman and Superman in the past would be completely forgiven. I'm not saying there isn't forgiveness now, but dying to save Superman's wife would change everything....if that makes sense? Does it make sense? I'm terrible at explaining my thoughts sometimes.

[leahseclipse]

The Reichenbach Fall: Aftermath - Chapter One: Happy Death Anniversary, Detective.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x GN!Reader (With some Fem mentions)

Warnings: S2 FINALE SHERLOCK SPOILERS, Major character death; death topic, mourning, suicide mentions, depression mentions... (lemme know if I missed stuff.)

Summary: Two years after the death of Sherlock, what could be next?

Word Count: 4.0K

A/N: Hey there! I've finally found the motivation to post my Sherlock fic here. If you prefer AO3, click here :)

++

Sherlock used to call at midnight, he never cared whether you were trying to sleep, or if you were actually sleeping- he’d just call.

Sometimes to complain that technology was futile given the multitude of defaults it contained (his phone, for example)- or to talk about an article in a newspaper, thinking we’d be interested in it.

It’s been two years since the last call. No one could bring themselves to delete his number since; and I understand the reason for it. We all had some hope inside us, it was small given all the time that went by, but it was there.

We all wondered if he wasn’t alive. Movies aren’t real, so the whole fake-death scenario couldn’t have been real but we all thought “why not?”, it could happen. That was over a year ago, but I still believed it, I wasn’t quite planning on giving up; and when my phone rang a bit after midnight, I still had a glimpse of hope, each time.

That glimpse was cut short when I read the caller ID. It was John. I did like him, he just wasn’t who I expected to see, but I picked up the phone, just to not be rude. Voicemail is awful. “John? What’s going on?”

"I...I don’t really know, actually. Guess I...needed to feel less alone. I don’t even know."

“Hold on.” I glanced at my bedside as I put the phone on speaker before sitting on the bed. "...so, you couldn’t sleep?"

"Yeah, I’ve been trying for an hour, certainly because of..." He stopped, hesitating with his words.

Who else other than Sherlock would it be, honestly. The man’s always been in our thoughts, and now that he’s gone, we have to be reminded that he’s stuck in our minds. The only way to hear him is through memories, and probably some of us are afraid to forget what he sounds like through time. He wasn’t the guy to make documentaries on him, film himself- hell, he rejected every interview he was offered. The only thing we have is pictures, which isn’t enough.

"It’s him, isn't it?" I presumed.

"Yeah, Sherlock." He confirmed. “It’s the anniversary of his death, in two weeks.”

See, that was the kind of thing I didn’t want to recall as it made me think of what I didn’t want to accept, but at the same time, if I stopped thinking about that, might as well forget Sherlock completely.

"It kept me awake too." I admitted.”I can’t believe it.”

No one really does, to be honest. We all wish that it could be fake, that’s what we would need, even if it’d hurt to see him while we mourned all this time.

"It still feels a bit weird without him, even after basically two years."

“It didn’t seem right without him, at first."

"It took us a bit to get used to it, and still...I think I didn’t get used to it fully to this day."

"Neither am I, John. I don't think I ever will. Time will make the pain less...painful, but it’ll never erase him, he'll be in our thoughts from the moment we wake up."

"I wish it was all a dream. I hate to wake up and not see him. He annoyed me sometimes but...he was my friend."

"He was annoying but a good friend, yeah.” I said, “It’s just...not right. Nothing is right. I feel like everything has gone cold. I swear that I haven't seen a single ray of sunshine."

"It's probably time fooling around, I don't know." He said.

"It could but, when he was there, there would be some sunny-ish days. I haven't seen one since. He left, and it's like he took the sun with him, John. The whole world is falling apart.”

"I felt that too, for a moment. But, I don't really trust whatever I think about these days. I don't pay much attention to whatever I do."

"You should be careful though, I don't need you to die because you didn't pay attention out there. And before you say anything, there's no joke in there. I mean it, Watson.”

"I wasn't going to say that, trust me."

"You better. I need you there."

"Same goes for me. You've been of great help since…"

"Yeah. Since." I paused. "It sucks."

"It does.” He agreed. “Well I...I’m gonna go back to sleep, I don’t want to bother you all night.”

“You didn’t bother me, don’t worry. It helped to talk. I could even stay a bit more, if you’re not planning on going back now.”

“Alright, then.”

++

It’s like the weather watched me plan the day, rain is on time. It couldn’t be more depressing on top of me dressed in black, but I just didn’t feel like coming in rainbow clothes would be appropriate, even if he wouldn’t care how I dressed anyway, even if he’s dead, yeah.

It feels weird to go, I always expected this was all a dream, or that it’d just...never happen. He’s the kind of person that outlives everyone, and Sherlock was this kind of person, he’s always been that person. He even used to say he’ll always be there, that he’d never leave, and now I guess we’ve both made mistakes, he’s not here anymore.

I never thought that would happen, I can’t tell how bad I prayed to whatever god to wake up, but that did nothing but make me a fool, nothing changed.

His apartment remained empty, as ours, he’d consider each house he could sleep at, his. I remember that he stayed at John’s for a week, before having to go back as John was “not entertaining” enough because he slept too much- As if we got to sleep all day.

He used to think everyone was like him, barely sleeping, barely tired, because I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity of seeing him elsewhere other than a room full of piles of papers.

He did sleep, but not at night, it was kind of like a cat, throughout the day, when possible. I always laughed about it along with John, and he never minded, he’d either pretend to not care, or join the conversation, and I already miss this kind of talks.

They’d either be incredibly short, or extremely long, you really had to clear your schedule for an hour or two when he’d talk. It’s not that it bothered me, it was more the others, those who didn’t know him. They’ve always found an amount of weirdness in him, which I had when I was like them, a stranger.

I never thought we’d get close, I didn’t even think anyone was close with him, he seemed quite the lonely guy, very private. Even after getting to know him, he remained quite private, as I thought, he wouldn’t share much, even with John and Mycroft; but, it didn’t matter that much, we still managed to have a great friendship, and I’ll always miss it.

Not any person will be like him, he was one of a kind. Not anyone could copy him without being seen as a fool. Sherlock Holmes was unique, he didn’t copy anyone to rise up, didn’t take anyone as a model, he did it all himself, he was a model himself.

He didn’t wish to be like anyone, it was the contrary, everyone wanted to be at his level, have the recognition he had, the fame, all the things that made him known, that made Sherlock be him. Even I won’t find a mentor like him, not any of them will be better, they’ll all seem ridiculous to me, even if they have more experience than him.

Nothing will be the same. This world won’t be the same without him being here, he’s gone now.

He took a big piece of whatever thing, when he left, and whatever thing he took was a big one, because it left us all empty. The kind of empty feeling that won’t quite go away, we’ve all been so used to having him around so much that it was a habit.

And now that he’s gone, nothing feels right, even living doesn’t feel right. It won’t ever feel right without him.

I almost feel guilty for being alive, I’m not as smart as him, I won’t contribute to anything. He was the smart one, we really lost an important person and I don’t think it wouldn’t have changed much if I had died instead, people would just be sad, I think.

It wouldn’t be that bad.

His death is bad to the point that the world he left behind can’t function as well as when he was alive. The whole puzzle is missing, hell, the whole world, if I go out of the metaphor.

...Sherlock would have been the corners of it, the foundations of it, what made it whole, what gave a start to get the rest of the puzzle.

He would have corrected me with hundreds of better metaphors if he could hear me, I really suck at this. He never did, though.

In fact, most of his talking contained metaphors, it was his signature, his day couldn’t feel right if he wouldn’t tell at least one.Now the whole ‘no day without a metaphor is a bad day’ is falling on us, and nothing or no one will make that feeling go away.

It’s strange, and funny that he managed to create all of those special feelings, memories, that we only felt with him. Sherlock’s had quite the special part in our lives. He changed our lives in such a spectacular way, and to be honest, life felt less depressing, even if our job is full of dead people and mysteries that make our sleep schedule non-existent, quite rare.

He made us forget all of that shit, whenever he could. That’s why I looked up to him, and thought about him so much. Whenever I had a problem, I’d call him first. Of course, I did call John, and Mycroft, but Sherlock was like my emergency contact, he’d always pick up, if possible.

Somehow, he always knew the answers to everything, and when he was clueless (which only happened twice, in five years)- he'd attempt to find something close to it, and even if his explanations didn’t solve anything, I didn’t care.

It probably made him sort of happy to explain it, share his big knowledge, so as long as he enjoyed himself, that was enough. I did hope he did enjoy himself, I never thought about asking and now that I think about it, I probably should have, it’s too late now.

If he can hear me, a sign would be great, probably. A good thing if he enjoyed talking, and a bad one if I annoyed him? It’d be nice to know even if he probably won’t answer, he must still be working; I know it.

He would be bored if he didn’t have his face in newspapers and whatever case. I always said Sherlock not to overwork, but he never listened. I hope he’s not doing it right now, that man was a total workaholic, right to his last breath, he never stopped.

I just hope he’s okay, wherever he is.

He deserves peace, enough things happened to him, he almost died a couple times, almost lost us if we hadn’t survived all of the wounds and things that happened, almost lost himself because of depression- all of these could have killed him.

He would have stayed alive, but he would have died inside, I just know it even if he didn’t show it much. But he did feel, he did have feelings.

I know he liked us a lot, even though he didn’t show it much; he did enjoy living even with all of the problems he had so, let’s hope he’s not in pain, stressing, suffering, whatever feeling that makes him feel bad.

You can take it easy now, we’re taking care of what you couldn’t finish for you, we’re taking care of the legacy you couldn’t pursue for you, we’ve got your back, Holmes. John, Mycroft, myself, and whatever person you know will tell you everything that happens so you don’t miss anything. You’ll be able to debate about the events, you won’t miss a single thing of what’s happening.

Even if I have my pride, and don’t want to admit I’m depressed about you being dead, I’ll tell you everything, I know you’d be here to tell me how to deal with the death of a person, the whole five stages of grief. You said them to me so much that I always have them in my head.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

I’d say that I’m at the last phase, but a lot of anger comes in it. I still wish it had been me, sometimes. It’s not fair it happened to Sherlock. I just hope he’s not too mad. If it had been someone else, he’d probably try to talk some sense into me, get me to tell more logical things.

If ghosts were real, I know he’d tell me to stop putting the blame on myself, even if I don’t even know why I blame myself, we don’t even know what caused him to jump from a damn building. And even if someone explains it, we won’t know if it’s real no matter how much they’ll prove it’s the truth.

The only person that can tell us that is gone.

So, unless we don’t find...a diary, or a note, proving it all, we won’t know.

The last thing we’ve heard from him was an apology, the ‘note’ he left behind was the call John received, which means the presumed note I mentioned doesn’t exist, only the call does.

After leaving his note, he fell from the roof and he died on impact, his pulse was long gone when he reached the floor, and it didn’t come back. I didn’t believe all of it happened, even when I heard John telling it, none of it seemed true...until I saw the death certificate.

The whole world stopped, and it still is frozen now. I wish the grave I’m standing in front of wasn’t real, I wish that my eyes were betraying me.

If only.

“Turns out you lied, Sherlock. You left.”

I hate you for what you did.

“You could have explained all of this a bit more. Even if I would have preferred not to, I would have prevented you from dying if you gave me a note...before.”

I wish I had known, I should have known. He didn’t have to die, he wasn’t supposed to die, certainly not like that.

Not now, that wasn’t his time. He was supposed to die of old age because of natural reasons, after all of us. Outlive us all.

Damn Sherlock Holmes wasn’t supposed to die at 35 years old. It's too young, too soon, Too much to bear.

“What am I supposed to do now, I mean- what are we all supposed to do? None of us can replace you, we’ll take twice the amount of time you barely took to resolve cases on our own, you left us in a really bad situation, you know that? It’s not going to be the same if you’re not here with us.”

And I miss you like a little kid.

“You could have made us take classes to become a close version of you, at least. I’m saying ‘close’ because no one will ever be like you. Not even that detective that had 30 years of experience, he wasn’t even close, really. I’d say he looked like a newbie, next to you.”

I even started to lose the habit of calling him when he’s not directly on the field and I hate this. I’ve only known him for a couple of years, and yet, he’s going to be ironed in my mind for a lifetime.

That man, I swear.

He didn’t think that sticking so close to us, getting to know us, sharing things about him would affect us so badly now that he’s gone. Real gone.

It hurts to say that, I wish I could just pretend he wasn’t gone, but that’s not really...healthy? It’s not really healthy in the way that if I pretend he’s still there- while he’s six feet under ground would drive me crazy, it’d completely destroy the whole ‘acceptance phase’ I’ve been working on. He’s dead, and there’s nothing we can do to bring him back.

That’s what my brain has to acknowledge, pretending he’s alive wouldn’t do any good.

Sometimes life gets to an end, and we have to accept that. I know that Sherlock, his brother and even John wouldn’t want to see me like this- ignoring reality, building a fake world to protect me from the real one.

Hurting sucks. Getting reminded that I won’t be seeing him anymore sucks, but everything sucks in life, and that’s what happens when you live. You can’t have a perfect happy life with all the shitty problems, that doesn’t exist.

But even if this sucks, I also get to remember all of the great things Sherlock has accomplished, the hundreds of memories we’ve made all together, whatever makes me happy- but there’s still a lot of hurt to go through before being able to think about them without crying because I miss them.

I wish that could be happening right now, I must have filled an entire bottle of water with all my tears. It’s even worse when that happens at 2am after you wake up from a dream about them.

Speaking of dreams, I don’t think I’ve ever had so many dreams with him compared to when he was alive. It’s as if he's haunting me, and even if I like him, I’d wish he wouldn’t do that so often, a little peace and quiet would be nice, even if I don’t want that to stop.

I’m afraid I’ll forget Sherlock if I stop thinking about him, block the memories to prevent me from the hurt that comes with it. I don’t want that to happen, he doesn’t deserve to have his legacy ignored because of my stupid feelings that hurt, he deserves to have his legacy remembered, discussed about, shared, not to have it trapped in newspapers, or in a corner of my head.

I like to imagine him being proud when I do that, even if I wouldn’t have known he was. He wasn’t the expressive kind, but he liked to show he was proud of you through a facial expression, a word, whatever could be ‘decrypted’. He wasn’t as cold as people saw him, he was extremely kind, even if he was broken in millions of pieces inside.

But yet, he overcame everything and came back even stronger. Every single time. He was amazing in so many ways, and that’s why I wish I could be like him.

So much.

I sighed, adjusting the grip I had on my umbrella, as I squatted down in front of his grave. “Did you know we went through your closet yesterday? There’s really not a lot, your clothes are so...similar. We can easily buy the same to be ‘like you’. But I don’t want to touch them, they’re kind of like precious pieces you can find in a museum.”

I hope he doesn’t think I’m crazy because of that.

“And...yeah, we went through your place because we can’t bring ourselves to sell it, I don’t want someone else to live in there and ruin it with their own belongings. But at the same time, living in it would be weird, I don’t know. I can’t find an explanation, just that it’s weird, living in the apartment of a dead person. Kinda creepy.” I explained, looking up from my umbrella as I realized the rain had gone down, letting a few rays of a ‘somehow’ sun. “Look, the sun listened to me. It’s coming up so I can give my emotional speech full of hope.” I sighed. “I don’t...I don’t even know what to say anymore. Kind of ironic as I always have something to say.”

I actually kind of know, but I don’t want to say it.

He’s gone. No miracle will bring him back, but I’ve kept hearing John saying it, I heard him last time we came; and even though I can’t bring myself to say that, I want to so badly. That’s all I’ve been wanting to happen since you died, I don’t want anything else and I don’t care about love anymore even if you always wanted me to be happy.

You’re what made me happy, you were the definition of love. Maybe what I’ve been feeling was that but I never brought myself to admit it.

I have loved you since the first day, but you always said that whoever fell in love with you should find better as you considered yourself a forever loner, unable to feel and give love, but I know you were capable of it, if you had tried, I believed you could have done it.

“Look at me, in front of your grave, exposing the feelings I’ll never have the answer to, I don’t even know if you liked me back. You really took all your secrets to your grave, huh? What a selfish prick, you could’ve shared that, at least.” I complained.

I don’t think I’ve ever known someone that hid so much stuff, he really was a whole mystery to himself, that man.

We can’t even solve what caused you to commit suicide, we’ll probably never solve it. You were the only one that knew why, and yet he can’t just pull a miracle and live again for a few minutes as a zombie to explain. That would be of great help, even if I’d prefer he’d live again.

That’d be an awesome miracle, even better than what happens at Christmas.

“Can you do that for me, though?”

Just that, I won’t ask for anything else.

“Just one more miracle, Sherlock, for us.” I said, putting my hand on the polished surface. “...don't be dead.”

It’s too easy, you can’t be dead, Nothing can kill you. I know John, and a shit ton of people saw you fall, but...let me believe all of that isn’t true.

Just a fake accident, Do that for us. Please. We need you more than you can ever imagine, you were so important to us, you were family.

A reason to fight for, to live for.

“Don’t be, please.” I pleaded, as I got up from the ground. “I uh...I’ll be back whenever I can, okay? Work’s been crazy since you’re gone, it’s incredible. I don’t know if it’s because we don’t have your help, or because it’s always been like that.”

Probably a mix of the two, I don’t really know, it’s been complicated to think properly these days. Sherlock would be the one to help with that, usually.

“I’ll have to ask someone else, I guess.”

I still haven’t found this ‘someone else’, by the way, It’s been two years, I know. But I still haven’t found someone that can help me the way he used to.

He still remains unique after all this time.

“I’ll be on my way, then. You’re awfully quiet today, guess you’re not in the mood, so I’ll go.”

I wish I still didn’t have to say goodbye, but this is the only thing I can say when I leave.

The weather had even gotten better, as if it only rained to have a full dramatic effect, there was only wind, which didn’t seem to announce a storm, for now. The sound of the leaves being crushed by my feet as I walked was to be heard, as no other sounds were around, it was very quiet today.

The silence did feel weird, I never liked it.

Not when it caused me to think of…

“Got time to spare for me?”

...him.

“Sherlock.”

++

|Chapter Two|

[solo-silenzio]

(just in case people didn't follow me before and suddenly see me hating sk*m france more than anything: this blog was almost an el* sideblog, ok? it was until s5? the reason I'd rather die than see it on my dash rn is because as someone once said people should know when to stop. when a show ran its course and it's time to let go. when the characters said everything they needed to say and continuing with more seasons would only mean ruining them and spend weeks traumatising people over non-existent trigger warnings and awfully cheap plots. I think they made one of my favourite s3s ever - well, if you forget about that coming out, the paint scene, the boysquad and the kollektivet, that is - and that they made me feel everything lucas felt when he was with eliott. he was the first even I loved more than an isak and he was such a gentle soul. but. getting more seasons meant turning him into a character justifying cheating left and right. a character who lies to his boyfriend even if he knows he could ruin everything again just like he did in s3. a character who's there without a purpose. just because the show wouldn't get views otherwise. a character who suddenly needs to be the main's best friend even if the fandom never got to know her. never did he. and... the spoiler. the kiss. no matter how much people said it'll only be for a film he's making... who the fuck cares about it? no one. in the slightest. and maybe I'm bitter because s4 was one of the worst things I've ever seen. maybe I hate that I spent months being excited for s5 only for it to be so shitty I can't even put it into words. a show shouldn't be about cheating. about 63837272883 plots in one clip. especially when you know you won't be able to end them all. hurting people 24/7 for the sake of drama? when it doesn't serve a purpose? the fuck are you, a cw show? how to get away with murder? well, definitely not skam. it should be about warmth. about pain, yeah, because we deal with lots of it in our daily lives, but....... there should always be a lesson behind it and this show definitely doesn't know how to do that. they disrespected alexa for 10 weeks just so arthur could lust on this girl who wouldn't even appear later on anymore. when it was supposed to be about hearing loss. they made s4 about manon and sofiane when that season had imane as the main. they ruined everything they could ruin and what makes me mad the most is the fact that I was one of those people who wanted more. even if I knew they only had handled s3 right - more or less - and that's it. I knew I shouldn't have been surprised when the only thing they managed to say after lucas' coming out was that italy was disneyland in comparison. it showed how ignorant and awful they were. how full of themselves they are to think everything they come up with is good. or realistic. because it isn't. so yeah. I just made this post because I wanted you to know that I don't hate the show because I didn't watch it or because I like to hate on what everyone else is watching - just like some people do with sk*m italia. I'm mad because they made me care about their characters only so they could ruin them one by one with their lack of talent. and yeah, this post is a thing because of eliott. may his character from s3 reast in peace :) and may the fandom learn how to let go of a show that only knows how to traumatise them? there's hope. let me know when it ends, bye)

[seyaryminamoto]

I've seen A LOT of people thinks Azula is one of the best villains created ever. Can you please list the reasons why? I'm interested.

Well, I’d think it’s kind of obvious, but if you would like to know…

Azula is a really successful character, and that makes her an even better villain. She defies a lot of typical villainous tropes because of many reasons I’ll explain later, but first of all I will insist on one thing: she is a CHARACTER, and not simply a villain. She’s not written merely as a foil in the way of the protagonists, even if she indeed serves as a foil. But she has her own goals, her own strengths and flaws, and as the story progresses you discover the complexities of her character that make her, by far, the best villain in the Avatar franchise. Yes, some people might say she’s not the best villain of all time, I’m not going to force you to agree on that if you like anyone else better, but the reasons why she stands out so much begin right here.

So, first off, she’s a character. She’s not omnipotent, she’s not undefeatable, she’s someone with a mission and who stops at nothing to achieve it (stubbornness of this kind is usually seen as positive traits in main characters, but it’s seen as terrifying in villains). She sets herself up for failure in some ways, as she has unstable and unequal relationships with her friends and everyone else around her, and she has unresolved issues with her mother and her father, not to mention a tumultuous relationship with her brother. So with both her strengths and flaws in mind, Azula feels like a villain who fits in the world we’ve seen so far. Nothing about her is particularly over the top, her bending skills are above and beyond everyone else’s because that makes her a bigger threat, yet Iroh can bend lightning too, for instance. It’s not presented as something unthinkable, even if she is extraordinary for it. She doesn’t really disrupt the rules of the Avatarverse for having blue fire, or for bending lightning, so she’s basically perfectly plausible in this universe.

Azula raises the stakes. Azula gives both Aang and Zuko a brand new villain they both struggle against in their own ways. Azula is out to capture them both, and she will do whatever it takes to succeed, so with her arrival into the show, the characters are somewhat split into three groups in Book 2: the common factor is that she’s always their enemy. A girl who only travels with two other girls can fight and chase both your show’s protagonists and keep them on their toes all along. Have you thought about how awesome that is?

Now, why do I say she defies villainous tropes? Well, I only just reblogged a fun post where they pointed out that Azula strikes Aang down when he’s in the middle of his Avatar State transformation. How many times have you watched shows where this happens? I watched plenty of magical girls shows as a kid, and I am a known Digimon fan: how many times didn’t I joke about how villains should just take out the good guys when they’re wasting 15 seconds of screen time, more or less, by transforming and acquiring all their powers? If you were anything like me, these tropes take you to a point where you have to knowingly suspend your disbelief and simply accept the lack of logic in the matter.

But no, Azula strikes. She sees Aang is floating up there, all extraordinary with his Avatar State mojo, and she decides there’s no point in fighting evenly when he’s in full power. She decides to take out this threat in whatever way she can, regardless of how underhanded and morally wrong it may be. But isn’t that the kind of behaviour you’d expect in a villain? The kind of thing that suits a bad guy, the thing that makes them a serious threat?

A huge thing that makes Azula absolutely extraordinary in my eyes, and it makes me think of Iago from Othello often: Azula plans and succeeds, at least in Book 2 and half of Book 3. She works hard, she doesn’t always win, things go wrong at times and yet? At the very moment where it mattered, Azula got what she wanted, just as Iago got what he wanted. No kidding, Iago gets caught, but not before he destroys Othello in the exact way he intended to. And THAT is what makes a villain worthwhile. The villain’s goal can be something as simple as stealing candy from a child, but if he succeeds and gets away with causing exactly the effect he intended to, regardless of what it costed, that villain is miles better than your average “I want to destroy the world because the writers were giving the hero something to fight against” villain.

So, Azula’s biggest scary factor is that she can be successful. And she’s NOT a big hazy bad guy, like her father, or all other Fire Lords: she’s out in the field, fighting her own battles, planning her strategies and making everything fall into place if she can.

As I said before, she CAN fail. She does, lots of times. But the show does something LOK, for instance, never really did: Azula wins in Book 2. In LOK Amon’s cause allegedly helps fix the bending privilege problem, and Unalaq gets to bring the spirits back, and Zaheer nearly makes Korra disappear forever, and Kuvira somehow gets to fix the Earth Kingdom in her own way. But… they’re all defeated. Zaheer and Kuvira end up in jail, Amon and Unalaq even DIE. None of these bad guys got to actually succeed, their causes apparently did, in roundabout ways, but not them as individuals. 

Azula, on the other hand, succeeds in every level. Azula succeeds where so many others failed, even being the only character who ever came remotely close to killing Aang. She takes over Ba Sing Se with a plan that comes into place right in front of the viewer, and if you love her you relish in this (as I did), if you hate her you are horrified by how EVERYTHING IS GOING HER WAY. It’s not merely her cause that succeeds, the show doesn’t try to tell you that Azula’s victory is good in some roundabout way. Azula is portrayed in a bad light, as a villain, as a real threat to the heroes, and to the values the show is presenting. And she doesn’t wait around for others to fulfill her orders: she goes out to take care of things herself, even fighting without her bending if that’s is how she can protect her nation and father.

As a comparison: how many times in Book 1 did any of us ever really think Zuko was going to succeed at capturing Aang? I, personally, never really thought he was going to do it, not only because of spoilers but because Zuko didn’t feel nearly as threatening as Azula did. Was it because of his temper? Was it because of humorous situations written around him? I don’t really know, but Zuko, as annoying and persistent as he was, and as often as he showed up in pursuit of Aang, never seemed likely to get what he wanted. And he didn’t, despite he had a few chances for it. The writing always frustrated his attempts to capture Aang, or to set traps for him… basically, Zuko always failed when it mattered most.

And Azula failed, plenty. But she didn’t simply fail: she changed her tactics, found new ways to handle the problem, and eventually when Book 2′s ending arrives you’re left with the feeling that this girl simply cannot be stopped. She’s not like Zuko, who worked hard but it never paid off. She’s not like Zhao either, who also made his efforts and found new resources but still failed more often than not. She’s not simply a bending powerhouse like Combustion Man, nor was she like Long Feng, who, yes, was successful for most his life but we only get to meet him when things start to go wrong for him. And she’s also not like Ozai, who was indeed the ominous final boss waiting to show himself at the very end of the story.

So, Azula manages to be a character while being a villain, something rare in mainstream media (seriously, this is the problem of every single Marvel film except for the original Thor. This is why none of their villains are truly memorable or meaningful). And she also manages to be a successful villain, rather than another of those “scary” ones who really seemed to be about to succeed but were stopped at the very last minute: no, she gets what she wants, kills the Avatar as far as she knows, captures her uncle, brings her brother home, and takes over Ba Sing Se. She hits the jackpot, pretty much, but it wasn’t a matter of luck: it was a matter of skill, of adapting to the circumstances and working hard for the sake of her mission.

And that’s just Book 2. In Book 3 she keeps up the efficiency until the betrayal, foiling the brilliant Invasion plans and succeeding at stopping the heroes yet again. By the time her breakdown happens, it’s source really goes back to Azula’s own flaws and problems, to character issues that, although present, were yet to be explored. Yes, it’s terribly convenient for Zuko that his sister would lose her mind exactly when he needed her to, but even then, Azula’s downfall serves to enhance her character’s complexity. It could have been handled better, but as it was, it allowed the viewers to see how damaged she truly is, deep down, and that, again, is what makes her a character and not simply a villain.

That’s more or less the gist of it, but there’s other reasons too, no doubt. All the same, Azula sets a hard bar to match for many villains in mainstream media, and only a handful of them have reached it (if they have, I don’t know how many have overcome it). And that would be why saying she’s the greatest villain of all time has become such a popular thing to do as of late :’)