#i've never wanted to delete my account before this but now i'm thinking about it

[darkbluekies]

2nd year anniversary get to know the author

I have always loved the "chosen one" concept.

ever since I was little, I've written stories where the main character is special. I've always liked it when the character is chased for something only they have/do. Like, they're not just replacable or killable.

Ex. When I was 11, I wrote a story about a pair of twins that have different blood than normal people, which becomes a "super weapon" once their blood touches. By this, the main characters can't be killed, but they're hunted because they're different. Chosen.

Which is probably why I like the yandere style. The main character is chosen and special, something that can't be killed but can be imprisoned.

Some of the best book plots I have ever written are fanfictions I made during my teens

It's insane how well my brain was thinking when making up certain stories. Like me today are still in love with the plots (need reworking though, but the core of the plot is amazing) and I'm jealous of that now.

I painted my room when I was 12 to match the bedroom my character had.

I love(d) that character so much (at the time she was the main of the mains, if you get what I mean) and wanted to be her. She was one of the twins with special blood. There was something about her that just resonated deeply with me.

I feel like I can't write certain things

My notebooks are private, no one is allowed to read in them. Never will. But I have this feeling that either when I have children, they'll read my notebooks because kids are curious, or they'll be published once I'm dead.

I want to explore writing sexual scenes so that they keep up with the rest of the style in a story, if the plot asks for a sexual scene, but I don't feel like I can write them becuase they'll never feel private enough. It feels like someone is always watching whenever I try anything that commes close to sexual scenes. Like I'm doing something bad. Which is stupid, because I'm an adult lol.

I had another oc planned instead of Hedwig

I knew that i wanted one yandere to exist in a school, like the original yandere concept (for me that's yandere simulator) and created a "quiet kid" oc. Funnily enough, i actually found what I had written for him. I thought I had deleted it

But then I decided to make it a girl, because I wanted it to be more similar to the original concept<3 and that's how hedwig came about<3

There was another Edmund

While finding the quiet kid oc, I also found a king yandere oneshot I had written before writing the very first Edmund oneshot in January 2023. This is ALSO four days before writing my first oneshot for this account. This oneshot is older than the entire darkbluekies account. Older than Silas. Older than all of them!!!

Doesn't really feel like Edmund though, does it? Too nice

[duthea]

just saw some ugly thing pop up and tell me i got a "tumblr badge" or something, calling the post i just made "content", and now it's telling me to enable it, but i can't find any way to disable it in my settings... if i just ignore it will it go away on its own? i don't want to see this shit

[brotherconstant]

GIFMAKING TUTORIAL: PHOTOPEA (for Windows)

Screencapping

Gif Width/Size Limit/Ezgif

Loading Frames

Cropping and Resizing

Rasterize/Make Frames

Sharpening

Coloring (not detailed. Links to other tutorials included)

Exporting

Obligatory Mentions: @photopeablr ; @miwtual ; @benoitblanc ; @ashleysolsen Definitely check out these blogs for tips, tutorials and resources, they're a gold mine. Finally I recommend browsing the PHOTOPEA TUTORIAL / PHOTOPEA TUTORIAL GIF tags. DISCLAIMER: English is not my first language and I'm not an expert on what I'm going to discuss, so if anything's unclear feel free to drop another ask.

1. SCREENCAPPING -> PotPlayer (the one I use) or MVP or KMPlayer

INSTALL PotPlayer (tutorial)

Play your movie/episode and press Ctrl + G. The Consecutive Image Capturer window will pop up. Click Start to capture consecutive frames, Stop when you got what you needed.

Where it says "Image Type -> Format" I recommend picking PNG, for higher quality screencaps.

To access the folder where the screencaps are stored, type %appdata% in windows search, open the PotPlayerMini64 folder (or 32, depending on your system) and then the Capture folder. That's where you'll find your screencaps.

Admittedly MVP is a lot faster but I prefer Potplayer because it generates (at least in my case) higher quality screencaps. MVP kind of alters the hue and it made it harder for me to color my gifs. Still, if you're interested in how to use it, I recommend this tutorial.

As for KMPlayer, every tutorial out there is outdated and I couldn't figure out the new version of the software.

2. GIF WIDTH/HEIGHT, SIZE LIMIT, EZGIF OPTMIZER

At this point you should already know how big your gifs are going to be. Remember the ideal gif width(s) on tumblr are 540 px / 268 px / 177 px. These specific numbers take into account the 4 px space between the gifs. No restrictions on height. Here are some examples:

You can play around with the height (177x400, 177x540, 268x200, 268x268, 268x350, 268x400, 540x440, 540x500, 540x540 etc) but if you go over the 10 MB limit you'll either have to make your gifs smaller/delete some frames.

OR you can go on ezgif and optimize your gif, which is usually what I do. The quality might suffer a little, but I'm not really (that) obsessed with how crispy my gifs look, or I'd download photoshop.

Depending on the gif size, you can decrease the compression level. I've never had to go over 35. It's better to start at 5 (minimum) and then go from there until you reach your desired ( <10mb) gif size. Now that I think about it I should have included this passage at the end of the tutorial, I guess I'll just mention it again.

3. LOAD YOUR FRAMES

File -> Open... -> Pick one of your screencaps. The first one, the last one, a random one. Doesn't matter. That's your Background.

File -> Open & Place -> Select all the frames (including the one you already loaded in the previous passage) you need for your gif and load them.

(I recommend creating a specific folder for the screencaps of each gif you're going to make.)

WARNING: When you Place your screencaps make sure the Crop tool is NOT selected, especially if you've already used it and the width/height values have been entered. It will mess things up - I don't know why, could be a bug.

You can either select them all with Ctrl+A or with the method I explained in the ask: "when you want to select more than one frame or all frames at once select the first one, then scroll to the bottom and, while pressing Shift, select the last one. this way ALL your frames will be selected".

WARNING: Depending on how fast your computer is / on your RAM, this process may take a while. My old computer was old and slow af, while my new one can load even a 100 frames relatively fast, all things considered. Even so, I recommend ALWAYS saving your work before loading new frames for a new gif, because photopea might crash unexpectedly. Just save your work as often as you can, even while coloring or before exporting. Trust me, I speak from experience.

Now you can go ahead and delete the Background at the bottom, you won't need it anymore.

4. CROPPING AND RESIZING

Right now your screencaps are still smart objects. Before rasterizing and converting to frames, you need to crop your gif.

Technically you can rasterize/convert to frames and then crop, BUT if you do it in that order photopea will automatically delete the cropped pixels, even if you don't select the "Delete Cropped Pixels" Option. Might be another bug, unclear. Basically, if you crop your gif and then realize you cropped a little too much to the left or the right, you can go ahead, select the Move Tool (shortcut: V) and, after selecting ALL YOUR FRAMES, move them around on your canvas until you are satisfied. You won't be able to do this if you rasterize first and then crop, the excess pixels will be deleted. I don't know why, I found out by accident lol.

CROPPING

(Cropped pixels: the gray/opaque area outside of the selected area. That area disappears once you press enter and crop, but the pixels are retained, so you can move the frames around and reposition them as you like. In this case I could move the frames to the left and include Silver's figure [curly guy in the foreground] in the crop)

After deleting the Background, you will need to select all your frames (using the Shift key), use the C shortcut on your keyboard to choose the Crop tool. Or you can click on it, whatever's more convenient. Once you do that, a dropdown menu is going to appear. You need to select the "FIXED SIZE" option, as shown in the following screencap.

Once you do that, you can type in your desired width and height. Do not immediately press enter.

Your work area should now look like this. Now you can click on one of the white squares and enlarge the selected area until the edges are lined up. You can then move it around until it covers the area you wish to gif.

WARNING: to move the big rectangle around, you're gonna have to click on a random point of the work area, PREFERABLY not to close to the rectangle itself, or you might accidentally rotate it.

See? When your cursor is close to the selected area it turns into this rotating tool. Move it away until it reverts to your usual cursor, then you can start moving the rectangle. Press Enter when you're satisfied with the area you selected.

RESIZE

This isn't always necessary (pretty much never in my case) - and it's a passage I often forget myself - but it's mentioned in most of the tutorials I came across over the years, so I'd be remiss if I didn't include it in mine. After cropping, you'll want to resize your image.

IMAGE -> Image Size...

This window will pop up. Now, should the values in the Width and Height space be anything other than 540 and 400 (or the values you entered yourself, whatever they might be) you need to correct that. They've always been correct in my case, but again. Had to mention it.

5. RASTERIZE & MAKE FRAMES

Now that your screencaps are cropped, you can go ahead and convert them.

LAYER -> Rasterize (if you skip this passage you won't be able to Sharpen (or use any filter) on your frames at once. You'll have to Sharpen your frames one by one.

Photopea doesn't feature a timeline and it's not a video editor, which makes this passage crucial. When you select all your smart objects and try to apply a filter, the filter will only by applied to ONE frame. Once you rasterize your smart objects and make them into frames, you can select them all and sharpen them at once. Unfortunately this also means that you won't be able to - I don't know how to explain this properly so bear with me - use all smart filters/use them in the same way a photoshop user can. For example, you can sharpen / remove noise / add noise / unsharp mask... but you can't act on those filters in the same way a photoshop user can. When you work on smart objects you can change the blend mode - which is critical if you decide to use a filter like High Pass. If you simply apply a high pass filter on photopea you won't be able to change the blend mode and your gif will look like this (following screencaps). Or rather, you will be able to change the blend mode by clicking on the little wheel next to "High pass" (circled in green in the 2nd screencap), but you'll have to apply the filter to each frame manually, one by one.

Then you can rasterize/make into frames, but it's extremely time consuming. I did it once or twice when I first started making gifs and it got old pretty soon haha.

Layer -> Animation -> Make frames. This passage will add "_a_" at the beginning of all your frames and it's what allows you to make a (moving) gif. As I said in the ask, if you skip this passage your gif will not move.

6. SHARPENING

Some people prefer to color first and sharpen later, but I found that sharpening filters (more or less) dramatically alter the aspect of your gif and already brighten it a bit (depending on your settings) and you may end up with an excessively bright gif.

Now, sharpening settings are not necessarily set in stone. The most popular ones are 500/0.4 + 10/10, which I use sometimes. But you may also need to take into account the quality of the files you're working with + the specific tv show you're giffing. I've been using different settings for pretty much every tv show I gif, especially in the last couple months. Some examples:

followed by

OR

AMOUNT: 500% RADIUS 0.3px followed by AMOUNT: 20% (or 10%) RADIUS 10px

You'll just need to experiment and see what works best for your gifs.

Some gifmakers use the UNSHARP MASK filter as well (I think it's pretty popular among photopea users?) but it makes my gifs look extra grainy, makes the borders look super bright and it clashes with my coloring method(s), so I use it rarely and with very moderate settings. Something like this:

Again, depends on the gif and on what you like. I've seen it used with great results by other gifmakers!

REDUCE NOISE

Sometimes - and this is especially the case for dark scenes - your gif may look excessively grainy, depending on how bright you want to make it. Reducing noise can help. Keep it mind, it can also make it worse and mess up the quality. BUT it also reduces the size of your gif. Obviously, the higher the settings, the more quality will suffer.

These are my standard settings (either 2/70% or 2/80%). It's almost imperceptible, but it helps with some of the trickier scenes.

ADDING NOISE

Adding noise (1% or 2% max) can sometimes help with quality (or make it worse, just like reduce noise) but it will make your gif so so so much bigger, and occasionally damage the frames, which means you won't be able to load your gif on tumblr, so I rarely use it.

You'll also want to create ACTIONS which will allow you to sharpen your gifs much faster.

HOW TO CREATE AN ACTION ON PHOTOPEA

The Action Button (shaped like a Play button as you can see in the following screencaps) may not be there if you're using photopea for the first time. If that's the case click on the magnifiying glass next to "Account" (in red) and type "actions". Press Enter and the button should immediately show up.

Once you do that, click on the Folder (circled in yellow)

and rename it however you like.

now click on New Action (circled in red). now you can press the Recording button (circled in green)

Now

FILTERS -> Smart Sharpen

and you can enter your values. Then you repeat this passage (WITHOUT pressing rec, WITHOUT pressing new action or anything else, you just open the smart shapen window again) and, if you want, you can sharpen your gif some more (10%, 10px, or anything you want.)

Maybe, before creating an action, experiment with the settings first and see what works best.

When you're satisfied, you can PRESS STOP (it's the rec button, which is now a square) and you can DOWNLOAD your action (downwards facing arrow, the last button next to the bin. Sorry, forgot to circle it) .

You need to download your action and then upload it on your photopea. When you do, a window will pop up and photopea will ask you whether you wish to load the action every time you open the program. You choose "Okay" and the action will be loaded in the storage.

When you want to sharpen your gif, you select all your frames, then you click on the Play button, and select the Action, NOT the folder, or it won't work.

Actions can also be created to more rapidly crop and convert your frames, but it doesn't always work on photopea (for me at least). The process is exactly the same, except once you start recording you 1) crop your gif as explained in step 4, 2) convert into frames. Then you stop the recording and download the action and upload it. This won't work for the Rasterize step by the way. Just the Animation -> Make Frame step.

7. COLORING

Now you can color your gif. I won't include a coloring tutorial simply because I use a different method for every tv show I gif for. You normally want to begin with a brightness or a curve layer, but sometimes I start with a Channel Mixer layer to immediately get rid of yellow/green filters (there's a tutorial for this particular tool which you will find in the list I mention in the link below)

[Plus I'm not really an authority on this matter as my method is generally... fuck around and find out. Two years of coloring and I still have no idea what I'm doing. 70% of the time.]

Simple Gif Coloring for Beginners -> very detailed + it includes a pretty handy list of tutorials at the bottom.

8. EXPORTING

Now you can export your gif. Some gifmakers export their (sharpened) gifs BEFORE coloring and then load the gifs on photopea to color them. I'm not sure it makes any difference.

FILE -> EXPORT AS -> GIF

(not colored, just sharpened)

As you can see, unlike photoshop the exporting settings are pretty thread bare. The only option available is dither - it sometimes help with color banding - which, and I'm quoting from google for maximum clarity:

"refers to the method of simulating colors not available in the color display system of your computer. A higher dithering percentage creates the appearance of more colors and more detail in an image, but can also increase the file size."

SPEED

When you export your gif, it will play at a very decreased speed (100%). I usually set it at 180/190%, but as for every other tool, you might want to play around a little bit.

GIF SIZE/EZGIF OPTIMIZER (See Step 2)

And that's it.

P.S.: worth repeating

Save your work as often as you can, even while coloring or before exporting.

[leothil]

About deco my tree

If you, like me, used the decomytree-site to receive and send messages lately, you've probably also seen the post warning that the site might have nefarious intentions. This is likely correct. When I went to look at my messages today, it told me "Currently, only the app can open messages due to high usage." That is clearly complete bullshit. It's probably self-evident, but DO NOT DOWNLOAD THE APP. This is base level scam stuff: trick people into getting excited about a service, then lock it to only one platform where the user will have to give up some information in order to get what they want.

(Obviously, I can't say with 100% certainty that something sus is afoot, but my warning bells are ringing very loudly. I am leaning towards this being more of an attempt to lure money out of people than an information stealing attempt, but you can never know.)

I took a look at what the app requirements are:

This ain't great for something that allegedly only is for leaving cute messages for other people. I'm looking specifically at the "Data isn't encrypted" part. If you've taken a look at your tree today, you've probably noticed that ads for an AI app have appeared here and there in the UI; this is by the same company behind deco my tree.

Now. If you still want to see your messages, there is the option of running the app in a virtual environment that isolates it from the rest of the device, and thus from the data on it. I think iOS and Android both might have native sandbox environments, but I'm not familiar with them. What I did was download an android emulator to my computer and installed the app there. It's completely separated from the rest of my OS and will cease to exist when I nuke the session after reading and saving all my messages.

The emulator I used is called Bluestacks. It has ads and will take up ca 5GB of space, but it's a reputable emulator, and I've used it before to play android games on my desktop. Once you're in there, you can navigate to your tree in the already existing Chrome browser on the desktop (or home screen, I suppose), and find the link to their help center, where they have a download link for the apk file without needing to go through the Play Store (which you'd have to log in to using a google account). Also a bit suspicious, but handy in this case. I've also included the links above for you to use. Once you've downloaded the .apk the app will open and you'll be able to log in and see your messages.

Side note - if you used a generic password that you use in several other places for this tree, I highly recommend changing it in all other places, especially if you usually combine it with the same email you used for decomytree.

Another fun thing I noticed is that the app refuses to load the earliest three messages on my tree, for whatever reason. But when I navigate back to the website (inside the emulator), it now opens the messages just fine since it can tell I have the app installed. 🙃 The app also continuously displays ads for the same AI app mentioned above, trying to trick you into clicking on them when you're swiping through your messages. It also does this fun thing:

Yeah. Bypassable, but highly irritating, and guaranteed to catch at least some poor people that don't know what to click on to make it go away.

TL;DR: don't download the app directly to your phone, use a sandbox to isolate it to see your messages, and then ask it to delete your account (and hope that it works, because so far the so-called verification code has failed to appear in my inbox). And change your password if you've used the same one elsewhere on the internet.

[kedikatzen]

Remember, folks, if you point out to a SpindleHorse crew member where their boss needs to apologize for condoning and defending another crew-member sexually harassing a minor, you'll get blocked and told that it was the minor's fault.

These people seriously think that is a 16 year old sneaks into a club and get SH'd/SA'd while in there, "it's their fault for being in an 18+ place." They'll ignore the fact that the abuser SH'd them in any way they can. Next, they'll be asked "Well what was she wearing??"

If y'all don't keep up with my Twitter, let me get you up to date, because I'm tired of these people pushing a narrative that victims are at fault for the situations they're put in.

A storyboard artist for Spindle, R2, sexually harassed a minor on Twitter. The minor, now a year older but still a minor, then reached out to Viv over threads about getting an apology, and Viv victim blamed with with "I'm sorry if you were uncomfortable, but it was your fault for engaging and it was a joke so get over it" in so many words. I went and reached out to R2 about the incident, about getting an apology for the victim, because this has affected them for the last year and they're still living with the negative consequences of what R2 put them through. R2 doesn't deny the SH, claims he apologized only for "mistaking their age" before immediately deleting his account, and then followed up with a post captioned "Stay mad about it" when asked for an upfront apology. R2 never apologized for the SH, he claims to have apologized for the mistake about their age - but again, neither denies the SH nor apologizes for it, and when prompted to, posts a "Stay mad about it" post immediately. SH is wrong against anyone, especially minors but it's not limited to only being wrong when it's against them. Viv's "apology" is "Sorry you got uncomfortable BUT it's your fault and it was a joke and get over yourself", that's not an apology especially for something as serious as SH. "I don't know what else you want them to do," I just want a genuine apology, that's all the minor wants, what's so hard to wrap your minds around about a genuine apology??

I'm getting really tired of SpindleHorse employees not only avoiding culpability and common decency, but outright defending heinous things and trying to hide the evidence of it. I was specifically asked by this employee, "do you have proof of that??" and when I posted proof they panicked and tried to cover it up immediately by hiding my replies. You guys cannot claim to stand up for victims, against victimization, or even stand beside victims when you actively go out of your way to hide the evidence of the victims of your boss and peers.

Regarding the Brock thing, you can see here that Viv's stance on whether or not to bring him back depends entirely on how his response "plays out". This was after she already took his role away, so she had already decided that there was enough flak or evidence or warrant kicking him off in the first place, but she was still open to inviting him back despite what she calls "his misconduct".

I wasn't going to make a bigger post about this because I hate cluttering up my feed with it, but I'm getting really tired of these people excusing the worst sort of behaviour and having the audacity to sit on a high horse about it. All I've ever asked for his accountability, I want to see Viv apologize to her victims, but I don't know how feasible that is with the list of victims growing constantly. An apology is up to the victim themself to accept, and while I might be willing to accept one and the minor R2 victimized might be willing to accept one, I can't speak for every single person and I don't know how feasible that even is with the list constantly growing.

[lostinthenight-snow]

YOURE SO FUCKING PATHETIC

TW for mentions of suicide utc

So. Guess who's being threatened and told to kill themselves?

Me! Snow! Though I also go by Ember!

I think one of the biggest mistakes I made was choosing to create an rp account for a character like Sae right before season two came out. I should have known that he would be put in a tough spot with a lot of characters slating him and hating on him.

It started with one message. I wasn't that bothered with the first one, saying that Sae should have been died in Spain or something. I just deleted it because yeah, I don't wanna answer that kind of ask, but go ahead and ask it if you want to.

And then it just got out of hand, like you can see here. I don't know how hate towards Sae spreads to me as a mod, and why I'm receiving this level of hate. It's really fucking hurtful. Sae as a character shows no reflection of who Ember is as a person. That's the fun of fiction, keeping it separate from reality.

But anons have taken it too far these past 24 hours. I've turned off anon asks for a while to cool down and hope they leave me alone.

I just wanted to say to everyone here that you're free to rp pretty much any blog you like. Characterise anyone you like. Fiction has never been reality. And there is nothing wrong with 'liking' a bad character. Nothing.

And by the way! If you know my main, chances are you read the replies of my pinned post. Where I said my discord tag. Did you search it on tumblr to find me? Such dedication. Well done! My main account is lakeside-paradise. Check it out if you want.

As of now, I'm not sure what I want to do. Maybe I'll just leave here altogether. Maybe I'll make another account. Maybe I'll change this one. I just need some time to think about all this.

Alright, gang? We good? Good.

Tagging: @worlds-best-striker in case you wanted to see

[issy5316]

goodbye

this is a callout post to @hinatasweetgrape

i know you'll be reading this, so i'll let my friends do the talking

oh, and they've seen your other account, @hinataNSFW

season 1:

jones: oh god, you are horrible! simping for a child as well?! and calling out other people's art?! at least they make it look decent and not use AI!

nathan: this is a faith worse than death, to ridicule people who work hard! and you can't even use their correct pronouns at all!

grace: sexualizing a child is horrible! leave julian out of your disgusting fantasies!

ramirez: horrible, just horrible! i know my art isn't always the best, but at least i put in effort, and you don't even get the skintones right for many of them! or make the whiter!

alex: i'm sorry you think your art is good! looking at it is horrifying! and your comments are so innapropriate!

cathy: i'm a hacker, if i had the chance, i would hack your account and make it disappear!

king: i may not understand technology that well, but you are doing a horrifying thing!

season 2:

andrea: what you are doing is so horrible, you think other art is shitty, but it's your art that's horrible, you haven't even drawn it at all! it's AI!

amy: the art is......horrible, and your other posts are just.......just horrible!

russell:'shaking'you are a psychopath......

frank: ya! i know i wasn't the best person and i wasn't best buddies with russell, but i would never sexually assault him! what if my daughters saw your posts and think i'm a horrible person?! and you would never capture karen's true beauty!

hannah: i wish i could delete your posts off my brain.

roxie: all the alcohol in the world can't make me forget what i just saw.

yann: my children could see those posts! are you ashamed of yourself at all?! i am horrified by those posts!

karen:........i am disgusted, i know me and frank don't always see eye to eye, but he would never assault someone!

season 3:

ripley:.........'vanishes'

ingrid: i'm almost tempted to turn back to my ice cold self just by looking at those posts.

jack: what the fuck did i just look at?!

lars: those posts are just so weird........even when i got high, i didn't see stuff like that!

angela: i hope you are ashamed of yourself for what you have done.

carmen: i am not white at all! you are a horrible sorry excuse of a wannabe artist!

marina: you need all the therapy of the world, and i don't think it will even help you.

jonah: i'm going to lock my weapons up before anyone finds them after seeing your art.

elliot: your art is horrible, but i can't see your other account since i'm 17, but after everything i heard, i'm glad i'm not 18.

michelle:........prepare to get sued.

season 4:

arthur: i am horrified with what the future generation is coming to! i am so disgusted right now!

richard: this self experiment of what i saw is making me feel things i don't like at all.

viola: even bad written plays are better than what i saw and read!

maddie: i don't want to solve this case since it's horrifying!

charles:........i thought the inventions would be better, i guess i was wrong.......

isaac: at least i'm dead by the time this is created.

evie: this is why i stay with books......

rose: i don't know what to do about this.......this is horrifying.

diego: at least i make my art look decent, unlike this wannabe art i'm looking at!

season 5:

diane: this is the most horrifying thing i've ever seen, and i've been working in the law for a while!

gloria: i'm so glad my son isn't going to be looking at this stuff you created.

martine:'curses in french'

rita: i think i'm going to give myself amnesia.

rupert: amir, is the new generation always like this?

amir: no, no it's not.

gabriel: people are insane if they think insulting good art work is good.......

season 6:

christopher: what am i looking at right now?

zara: nightare fuel is what i'm looking at.

janis: my grandchildren have better manners than you.

theo: i'm getting my lawyers.

kai: and i'm fixing the time machine to prevent us from looking at this.

orlando: you have horrible taste in words!

penelope:.......maybe i should stop writing fanfiction for awhile.

season 7:

jacob: you must be working with the demons to have your head so far up your ass.

gwen: you don't put effort at all or think, i hope you realize you are wrong........but i don't have hope for you.

luke: now i wish i was old enough to drink to forget what i just saw.

ben: i'm disappointed that our fandom is becoming corrupted because of people like you, i know our games aren't the best, but we deserve some respect!

priya: i wish i was in my werewolf form so i won't remember this.

hope: i don't have hope for your future in this fandom.

felix: i'm going to look for an elixar to forget about this.

season 8:

JP: gauthier, please buy some bleach for all of us.

gauthier: yes papa, i want to forget about this.

hugo:......i think i'll consider changing my behavior for once in my life.

carrie: i did not come to paris to witness this!

nadia: disgusting.......writing noncon, sexualizing a minor! i know i call dead peopel pretty, but at least i ask for consent and make sure they are an adult! i hope you will realize your mistakes one day!

enzo: i think i might change my behavior as well.......like hugo said.

emile:'shaking'i am getting away from the internet is you are here to make it unsafe!

lea: i agree with emile!

and that's all

hinata

i know you will say something about this, and i will be honest with you

you put in no effort at all, you made fun of other people's art, this fandom already has enough problems in it

so us a favor and think before you act, this fandom has drama, like the others, but that doens't mean you need to create it, we just want to have fun and you aren't doing us a favor by creating stuff like this, and insulting other people's work

you can block me, becausee guess what?

i don't give a flying fuck about your opinion

[kr9vorebeazt]

DISCLAIMER!!: PLEASE DO NOT HARASS, SENDING DEATH THREATS, BULLY, AND ATTACK THE PERSON THAT I CALLED OUT. IT'S BETTER FOR YOU TO ALWAYS STAY MATURE FOR WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS FANDOM

Hello everyone, well, I can't believe I must make a callout thread about this. I actually don't want to make it because I don't wanna cause any dramas, but I must made this to make everyone in this fandom aware and do the right action for what's happening in this fandom.

Read more:

CHRONOLOGY:

So at yesterday, when I opened and scrolled tumblr, I found a post from @marshalllir talking about a DL fan who commented negatively about one of @hostik 's post. And I immediately recognized that person. It's one of my follower that I follow

The post:

Well, Let's talk about this

CLARIFY:

About her commented negatively in some Haiden posts, this is not the first time I see her commented like that, I remembered when she's commented on one of @deadfileinthecabinet 's post(as I remember) about Haiden aswell. I ever told her to stop commenting like that and let people enjoy what they like and if she doesn't like it/hate it, just do not interact with them, especially put a negative comment. As time goes by, I thought she was already changed but after I see this post, I feel so dissapointed. All time I've been putting my faith to her expecting her to change turns out like that? Well, because of this, I think it's my time to expose her NOT so good side.

THE NOT SO GOOD SIDE(TW!: MENTIONS ABOUT P*DOPHILIA/GROOMING):

So, as the name suggests, She's definetly a Frank Marwey big fan. She loves to make and post about Frank, even make her own Monster!Frank AU that I was interested to. Did you know that she has 2 Twitter/X account? One of her account is a NSFW account.

Now, before we talk about the NSFW part, let me say this. She ships Frank x Lawan and Frank x Aiden(I think now she ships her DL oc with Frank now, But I personally know that she still ship these ships)

Problem? Yes, Frank x Lawan has a BIG problem in it. In DL2 canon lore, Lawan met Frank when she was young and views him as her dad figure. Shiping her with Frank is sounds problematic and might be considered as p*dophilia. Their age gap are TOO BIG even they're both are adults plus, Frank is Lawan's father figure and Frank is old enough to be her dad.

How about Frank x Aiden problem? Same, their age gap is TOO BIG to be considered as a couple

But Aiden x Hakon- Their age gap is tolerable, plus their relationship isn't Father and Son alike duo so it's safe.

Ok back to her shipping problem and the ACTUAL problem that I wanted to talk about, not just the problem of her shipping taste, but also she ever made a NSFW art of them. Do I have a problem? Yes, she ever post a NSFW of Frank x Lawan.

Unfortunately, the posts about that I mentioned are deleted. Maybe because there's someone who called her out before I did back then. Yet she still ships them.

"But, it's my AU! It never be canon" I know it's an AU but that doesn't mean you can cover up your problematic stuff that you did easily. Do we can easily believe you after saying that? No right? We are not fools.

MESSAGES TO HER:

I'm sorry if I did bring back your past mistakes to you, but this is the warning that I could do to you even I did the wrong thing. Something has kicking me out to expose your past actions to public again. I'm truly very sorry about it.

But, that doesn't mean I can easily forgiving you. Since this is a warning post to you, All I want to tell is that YOU MUST make an apology post. DO NOT PUT THE BLAME/PLAYING VICTIM TO ANYONE OR ME A.K.A. YOU MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL YOUR ACTIONS EVEN THOSE ARE JUST THE PAST

I'm glad that you finally realized your mistake about you posting NSFW arts of your ship yet you still ship them. I need you to stop what you're doing. If you want to ship Frank with someone, make an OC x Canon ship by yourself, is that hard to do for you? Atleast, it's better than you still shipping the problematic ships and post it online.

Mark my words, if you dislike something, DO NOT INTERACT WITH THE THING THAT YOU DISLIKE EVEN YOU JUST PUT NEGATIVE COMMENTS OF IT AND LET PEOPLE DOING WHAT THEY LIKE. The Algorithm will thought you like it and keep giving you more post about something that you don't like

CONCLUSION:

In this case, yes, she's indeed problematic. Yet we must give her a chance to change herself into a better person. I believe that soon she realizes her mistakes and trying her best to change into a better person. We must stay mature of what's happening in this fandom problem.

If you're reading this, I give you a second chance to be a better person. Do it, I'm still have a faith into you so you can be a good person that everyone knows.

I don't blame and mad at you. I'm just giving you and people in the fandom a warning.

May God forgives our sins

CLOSING:

Thank you so much for reading this. And also to those people that I tagged, I'm sorry for the random sudden tag.

I'll see ya soon, have a great day/night

Edit: If I got any mistakes, please you can correct me. Thank you :3

[valyrfia]

RE: This ask on fanfic, fandom, and lestappen

(preface with, I love fanfic and fandom, and I've written for very big and small)

I have never experienced such bad fandom etiquette as I have with 1633. I wrote one multi chapter fic for the ship and 99% of ao3 comments I got were people asking when I'd publish the next chapter, which has always been a big no no in fandom. I deleted the fic because it felt bad that people didn't want to engage with what I had written, but, just ask about my update schedule. Also, people changing the date of their published fic to be more recent, so, it appears at the top of the 'recently updated page'! I have never seen this in any fandom before now! AO3 isn't Instagram! If you tag correctly, people will find your fic if they want to read it.

People are pushing 1633 constantly in very public spaces like Twitter, Insta and TikToK, where we know these drivers have accounts and look at comments/posts about them or on their own posts. Just today on Twitter I see Dan Howell (which what a fucking weird intersection of my past and current interests) being asked at a public panel about lestappen, just because he's mentioned liking F1 in the past. I know it gets easy clicks and engagement because it is popular. But, it's so far removed from behaviour that was ever considered acceptable in fandom.

I remember, back in 2013/14 there was a huge backlash to people bringing up fictional ships to actors/writers. There was discourse after every Supernatural or Teen Wolf fan forum/con panel when someone would inevitably ask about Destiel or Sterek. People would argue whether fanon and ships were appropriate to ask the real people behind the show about.

RPF is fine, I have written, currently write and will continue to engage in RPF spaces. But, there are boundaries that you must keep if you are going to engage with it. Tumblr and AO3 have always been considered locked fandom spaces. If a person goes onto these sites and searches themselves out, that's on them. But, it's implied in fandom that you keep to just these spaces or private chats

(personally, I'm sad I just missed out on the livejournal days... I got into fandom when everything was being moved over from there and fanfic.net onto ao3)

I understand younger social media users are used to an algorithm finding content for them. And on sites like Tumblr where the algorithm sucks or ao3, which doesn't have one. You have to search out the content you want yourself. Liking and kudos isn't enough, you actually have to engage in meaningly conversations and comments if you want to make friends. That can be scary! But, it's a soft skill that is slowly getting lost and with it fandom etiquette is going down the drain.

This is like...one of the last big serious ask I want to reply to on this topic because not everyone agrees with me (which, fine), but OP you put a lot of time into typing this up so I will honour that.

I think fandom, much like a lot of other things nowadays, have become less about fun and more about hitting a certain number of likes and interactions. That's why people push Lestappen on other social media even though most of us have explicitly said "can you not, thanks". The changing the date of the fic to push to an 'algorithm' infuriates me and is a personal pet peeve of mine. There's one that's doing that now on the Lestappen tag and I've point-blanked refused to read it literally BECAUSE of the date changing. People will read your fic if they want to, constantly pushing it to the top of the 'Date Updated' list does nothing except piss people off.

I will say I think the fictional ship discourse of 2014 was maybe driven in part by the fact that being gay was still seen as something much more 'novel' than even now. If we think about when marriage became legal in the US and all that...I still think though that it shows a level of self-awareness and self-regulation that we've lost in fandom. As my partner and I often to lament to each other, we've become so individualistic that people have lost the concept of shame. It's an idea that YOU are the exception and something should cater to YOU, instead of the other way round. In the case of fandom, this comes out as people acknowledging fandom etiquette in an abstract way, but still logging into their twitter account (WITH THEIR FACES ATTACHED! WHICH! THIS IS A TANGENT BUT IT BAFFLES ME! WHAT HAPPENED TO DIGITAL FOOTPRINT!) and posting about RPF. Fandom is not an abstract entity, fandom IS the people that interact with it–from authors to artists all the way to those who consume the content.

Also, I also JUST missed out on the lj days–the great migration was happening just when I was getting involved in fandom and I can't help but feel like I missed out on something special.

[zenythycal]

HEY SO I RARELY DO THIS BUT ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS BEING STALKED AND ACCUSED OF HORRIBLE SHIT SO PLEASE READ!

Toyhouse <- Their call out post

Screenshot for those who don't have it and I will also include a transcript in case it's hard to read! (It'll be under the read more!)

Thank you all for taking time and listening to my friend, I know and trust them. I think it's DISGUSTING to make false accusations like this. As a victim of stalking and grooming myself I am sickened by this persons actions and I hope my friend Adder can finally get away from this. Send them love and support for me!

Also do not harass the person. Last thing we need is more stress, just help spread this around.

Transcript for those who cannot read the screenshot:

"EDIT 1 : STOP stalking my account. I am not the one reaching out to you. If I want to warn my friends, I can do so In peace. 

Hi yall. this is directed towards the pressure community mainly, but I do encourage anyone who sees this to steer away quickly as possible. 

before we dive in, i am professionally diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) from these events, I relive them almost daily. Back in June, as you all have seen on my bulletins, shorelinesiren, known as JD, Jacob, whatever, made a callout post on me, calling me a pedophile and a groomer. I have cleared my name, but the damage is still there to this day. (as of 9/12/24) I am neither, as I was groomed myself when I was a younger teenager. Its also worth mentioning that I voluntarily when into a psychiatric hospital to get better. Jacob released the callout post while I was still in the hospital, recovering, unable to DEFEND myself. He made the callout post to roughly 3k people, through his now defunct avatar discord server and his also defunct instagram. 

My relationship with jacob was strictly monetary as he used me for money. He managed to get me to spend $300USD in ONE MONTH on his adopts, art, and merchandise on his Etsy store. While Jacob ran his Etsy store, He had stickers made for Palestine, which all profit would go to charities/reliefs/supports. I have never seen a receipt of his donations, In dms or the 2 servers we had.  Since then, he's moved accounts 3 times and deleted his 2 avatar servers. Jacob has shit talked his "closest" friends, his brother, and server members to me. While we were friends we used to shit talk server members, mainly 3 people. Danny, Rose, And Teylu. Jacob had said disgusting things about his so called friends, calling them names, talking about how needy or annoying they were and especially how much Danny and Rose were dick riders. Specifically how Danny would suck up to each admin/mod, and How Rose was annoying, opinionated, and how she would constantly ask for admin/mod privileges. Teylu got the worst of it, as they were described constantly as weird, annoying and a beggar.  As for me, I conformed to fit in with Jacob's group. I always have felt it was never a genuine friendship. I've always had the sneaking suspicion that he talked about me behind my back to his friends, while I wasn't around. Only now I feel I can confirm it, since I have found out he stalks my page, and my other friend's page, as well as their partner's.  (I only recently posted about him again since I found out from a friend that he was using my art without crediting me.)

Jacob has a cult like following. Anyone following him is willing to defend him no matter what. He stalks my instagram account through his admin/mod team. I only know about this because when I posted on my story about him not properly crediting me and essentially saying "Jacob I know you can see this, you need to credit me for my art, even if commissioned" He then deleted the art from one of his character's profile, instead of crediting me.

 After that, I had an EXTREMELY toxic altercation with one of his followers, who I'm assuming has a parasocial relationship with him outside of commissions. I also encourage you to stay away from this user, Mothbone_s, who had dmed me back in June when the original post was made and said ; "You're 19 dude grow tf up you're continuing drama no one else cares about like a fucking child." I responded (huge mistake), calling them a glazer, and got back 3 PARAGRAPHS. Mothbone_s had to say "womp womp your a grown ass adult who thinks harassing a minor so long that said minor is an adult now and doesn't give a fuck about you is embarassing Ghost." cont 1, "No one actually gives a fuck you the way you think, we could actually give less of a fuck if you curled up and died right now because we least wouldn't have to deal with you continuing old shit everyone has moved on from" cont 2. "you aren't hot shit, you ain't scary mf, you're just some internet goon with no job, no life and an unhealthy desire for control and attention. now that your not getting it back your trying to take it back yo again in some miserable attempt to make a statement when all your doing is looking like a fucking idiot" cont. 3 "you ever dm me again i'll tell you straight up about how i actually feel about you, you pathetic piece of shit. go be a creep somewhere else and stop thinks harassing the enemies you made by being a fucking lunatic" and replied to the me telling them to mind their own business like an actual adult. cont 4, "if you were an actual adult you'd grow the fuck up and stop dwelling on shit from June" cont. 5, "like, you're a proshipper, you're a dirty pedophile who enjoys little kids and beastiality" cont. 6, "nothing you say is gonna scare me, bitch you ain't scary. you're a zoophile a pedo and a groomer" CONT. 7, "you ain't the big dog bitch so dont lil sis me". 

I have never interacted with this user before. I don't even remember who they are LOL.  Goes to show how toxic Jacob's fanbase is. Makes me wonder if Mothbone_s is projecting. but anyway, It's important to me that you all stay safe and stay far AWAY from both of these people, so you don't hurt like I have.

Moving onto a different topic, Jacob has also plagiarized names and fanclans. My mutual, Donquixotte, has had their original gator fanclan plagiarized. There was no direct changes, everything was almost identical. From the coloring of characters, down to the design of the body and attributes. everything was the same. Jacob has taken so much from other people, I wouldn't even call it inspiration. 

To the pressure community, as well as JC'S AVATAR community, please please PLEASE, steer away from these individuals. They are severely wrapped up in their own delusions. 

Be safe. 

Adder"

[commanderchr1st]

Why I left tumblr suddenly in 2017 at the apex of my blog commanderchrist.

I'm sorry to "break character," but I gotta say some shit as Joe that's been bothering me for years. It is corny, it is personal, it is emotional, but I've recently been facing a lot of personal turmoil, and I gotta say some shit.

I'm not calling anyone out, not trying to start drama, but for quite some time I've had some baggage that has caused me a great deal of mental damage, tbh. More below.

Hey all, 7-8 year old drama here. I've told my friends this story, and I've also kind of hinted at it, but I've never really gave an official response why I left tumblr in April of 2017. It's a really long story, and it's been connecting to a process of grieving multiple friendships, two relationships. I've never really wanted to talk about it too terribly much on an account that is so closely associated with what happened, I mainly spent time venting on private tumblrs, going to see doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, etc. For a half of a decade, I was extremely upset, and honestly, it kinda came back in 2022.

First off, fartdick-supreme was a blog I made a few days after I left commanderchrist. I was obsessed to see a particular user disparage me, make false claims, and I was very, very angry on that blog. So, if you do snoop a little, just know that's a hella mentally ill college kid writhing in pain, not a coherent blog at all tbh.

The above picture was sent to me on discord in November of 2016 before they started telling one of my friends I called them fat (and they knew that person had self image issues and most importantly I didn't), racist, treating Tumblr like a meat shop, telling somebody I had a crush on that I was exploiting them because of their pill addiction (just an insane thing to say tbh), conspiring with an ex that cheated on me to write a callout post about all of this and more lol. I deleted in 2017 because I was unmedicated, going through a pretty severe breakup, was taking more than a full-time load at school, and this former friend was doing shit like this almost every day of the week. I refused to talk about this until I've had a LOT of time to heal because tbh somebody who I considered a close friend doing this kinda shook my mental health. I deleted, but I never left. I really don't want to leave their URL or talk specifically about anyone who was impacted on tumblr, but this has also affected a lot of individuals I used to be friends with. And for a lot of that, I was the scapegoat. I accepted this blame. Even though I didn't do like...any of it. At the most, I was a mentally ill alcoholic who had a really hard time navigating friendships. A good deal of friends also had their own individual hardships, especially this individual who had spread these accusations to myself and my friends.

I think it's important to say that all of this started because I was talking shit behind the friends back. I said they were a sore loser, I said they were impossible to talk to, I said they were bossy when it came to playing games, I said they needed to work on their anger issues. And I denied it to them, which I should not have. I should have told my friend all the problems that I was having with them. I failed to do that, because they were a very defensive person. My friends tried too, but they did not have any luck. So, it manifested as anger, and I did talk shit about them to those friends. Word got back to them, and this is how it all started. I'm not going to point any fingers because MOST of those friends, I am still on good terms with, but there were definitely a few that also seemed to share similar frustrations in a public setting.

Maybe it's because I'm mentally ill, but I refused to confront this. I deleted. I left. I went on medication, I finished my degree. But I did not ever once publicly defend myself.

Fast forward to now, and in 2022 I was faced with a very similar situation. I had broken up with my partner of four years. I REALLY don't want to get into the details of that relationship because it was incredibly toxic. I did a couple things I was not proud of as a response, especially when it came to involving my family in our relationship. Both my ex and my mother tried to drive a wedge between me and the other person, and it was maddening. It was a horrible way to live. Especially since every interaction I had with my mother was her trying to pry me from that relationship. At the time, I thought she was being manipulative and shitty, but everything changed in December of 2021 when my ex went to go visit family and I was left alone after moving several times, being evicted twice during covid, making some dumb mistakes financially, and it all dawned on me.

I was being abused. My ex from 2017 had BPD, which is fine, but my ex from 2022 also had this condition. And I was able to see a parallel: I REALLY don't want to go in detail about my relationships tbh and was one of the reasons I didn't want to bring it up, but in both relationships I was put into some fucked situations. In both, any time I had issues with something it was like pulling teeth... 0-10 on the intensity meter. I would bring things up and immediately be disparaged, yelled at, etc. In one of those relationships, they were drunk daily and would call me up and yell at me. They were also sleeping in the same bed as their ex boyfriend for months and not telling me (it was long distance). They also had some sexual exchanges with a pretty well-known tumblr user. The other, long story short, sexually abused me a lot. Put me in a situation of fatherhood when I explicitly mentioned I did not want to be a part of it. They said it was okay. And it was all okay, until all the sudden our bank account was shared and I had moved to a different state. They trapped me financially, and cornered me into fatherhood. The rest of the abuse got a bit more intense when I was left isolated without family in the state I was living in. This shit is hella hard to talk about, but those two are linked. In December of 2021, I realized everything. I was terrified, depressed, isolated, and ruminating. I broke up with my most recent ex in 2022 because...well its complicated but I misinterpreted this grief as me being gay. I thought I was purely attracted to men, and vagina repulsed. It took me longer than this to realize no, I was repulsed by my ex because of sexual abuse. Anyways, when I broke up with them, they threw shit all over the place, some at me. They screamed at me and told me that I was a waste of four years. And they immediately told me I could not be a father anymore and could not see the child. When just month prior I was given a deadline on providing a child for them.

What did this all have to do with 2017?

I've lived long enough to see me make some pretty big mistakes twice in a row. It's not the relationships I regret, despite the abuse. It's the lesson that I failed to learn myself. I need to stand up for myself more, and not accept blame when I did not do anything. I've been diagnosed with (at the very least) minor Obsessive Compulsive Disorder recently, I've had some mental issues in the past. But we are exploring that this may have been derived from PTSD. I think these two scenarios have been a part of it. I've let this get under my skin. In 2022, I lost a couple friendships because I did not explain ANYTHING to them, and my ex spoke to them a day or two after our breakup when I was still grieving, processing, trying to figure all this shit out. I'm ready now. I am a mentally ill person who suffered abuse from other mentally ill people. I have made the mistake of allowing THREE people who have mistreated me and left me with lasting trauma rule my life. They made me run, I've allowed myself to become all the things these abusive people have wanted me to be because I did not stand up for myself, I did not deny anything.... I ran like a coward. I'm sorry for doing that.

To the select people who have heard these rumors from these people in my life, I don't blame you for believing them. As a matter in fact, I'm sorry that I did not explain everything to you.

It will not happen again. And if we have had conversations in the past, or you have considered me a friend. A friend. Not a funnyman, not a "derailer," not anything on this site. If you have talked to me, if you know me as Joe, not Jog. Feel free to DM me.

I've stopped with the anon messages, because tbh I don't want to deal with them. I've had this individual and a couple other send me them throughout the years. If they have anything to say, I'd appreciate them striking a conversation with me via here, discord, whatever. And the same with you if you're curious. Just come to me, ask. I won't yell at you. I won't say anything I won't want to say, either, so if you ask and we were never close or didn't have a friendship in the past, I may not be inclined to share more receipts that I have from this time frame. But I'm an open book.

If you've read this far and you've thought some of my posts are funny, videos, whatever. I just wanna say thank you for sticking with me and appreciating it. And thank you for hearing something out that you may have not had a general interest in. Again, this is not a callout post or anything like that. This was years ago, I'm ready to move past this. I need to heal, and if you were a part of this... even if you were shitty to me, I want you to heal and get help, too.

[mercair]

Goodbye Mercair

On January 7th of 2017, i posted my first song ever. It was a shitty self-insert megalo that never got any likes and barely got listened to. But i didn't really make it to get popular, i knew at the time that that would never happen and i was okay with it, because i didn't make that song for that. That first song was my way of thanking this community for helping me so much during a grim part of my life, to thank YOU, Undertale/Deltarune fan just for being there, creating stuff, and making people happy... I wanted to pay back the happiness this community gave me, and it has been like that ever since.

But now i realize, after 7 years, that... I'm not needed here. Whether i'm here or not, people would still be happy. People would have banger songs to listen to and characters to obsese over, without me. And that's wonderful! I enjoy seeing people happy more than i enjoy seeing myself. Just like in real life too, i'm the kind of person that can disappear from earth, and almost nobody would notice. But it's not like i can blame them, in the last 7 years i've been here i barely talked to anybody, i barely interacted and i barely got any friends.

And also, i'll just never be able to pay my debts with this community. I owe you guys so much, but nothing of what i do will ever be enough, not for me at least. And now i just have nothing to offer. I have no new ideas, i'll have no way of composing in what seems like months at this point, and i just lost my motivation. I've ran out of excuses to justify my presence in this place.

But also, in all honesty... After 7 years of creating stuff, even though i told myself that i never did it for popularity... I just thought i would stop feeling like a nobody, and that i'd stop feeling jealous of everyone else's success on this community. Is that ungrateful of me? Am i being greedy and not appreciative enough of what i got? Honestly, that's another reason of why i decided to leave; i'm just so secretly jealous of every other famous person in this fandom, i just think it'd be unfair for you guys to have a person like me around here. Ungrateful, greedy, jealous.

So i decided it's just time. To give up. To leave.

Once i'm done writing this letter, it'll be over. I'll stop being a musician, and i'll stop being an artist too. But please don't be sad about that. I don't want you to be sad. I want you to keep being happy, living in this fandom, like always. Keep making banger tracks, keep making cool art whether it's of your favorite characters or your own awesome ocs, keep talking to your friends and the people who love you, and overall, just forget about me. Forget about all of this. All my creations, all my characters, songs and concepts, they're not worthy of your praise. But everyone else's stuff is. So please, don't remember me or else i won't be able to leave this place in peace.

And now, i guess the question people are more interested in right now is "What will happen to all your stuff then?" Well, as some may have noticed, i've already taken down all of my original tracks from my soundcloud account, except for the covers/songs i made for other people and collabs, which are still up, since they're either not my characters, or i just wasn't the only one that worked on it, and it would be unfair to delete it. The soundcloud account will soon go unnamed, and i'll erase any connection to me it has, so people will be able to listen to those songs, without my name in it. As for my Tumblr and Twitter account... I'm now debating on whether or not to delete them, or just do the same and erase my name from both of them. I also gotta point out the possibility of me regreting this decision, but even if i do, i'm most likely not coming back.

So that's it. But before i go, i want to apologize. For everything.

I'm sorry i wasn't the best at what i did.

I'm sorry if my music wasn't good enough to make you smile or bang your head to it.

I'm sorry if my artistic abilities never catched your eye.

I'm sorry that i was never able to make a character you could obsess over.

I'm sorry if i was just too awkward and unfunny when talking to you.

I'm sorry if i was never able to become your friend and be someone you could talk to on the daily.

And most of all, i'm sorry for thinking that i could be like you. That i could be one of you.

All of you are so talented... SO incredibly talented and such good people... You're all legitimatlly amazing, and don't let people tell you otherwise. You're all gonna do great stuff in the future with the skills you have now, i guarantee it.

Well, i have to go now.

Thank you. For everything, and for what you did for me so many years ago. Thanks to you, i managed to be happy for the last 7 years of my life.

Goodbye UTDR.

[greenheart-anon]

??? I thought you deactivated??? I'm so glad you're back

I don't know what happened but every time I looked at your posts that I reblogged you appeared dead

Sorry for not answering this sooner nonnie.

First of all I want to thank you and all the people that reached out about what happened, I really appreciate it💚

I never deactivate, I would never do that, I just celebrated my 12 anniversary on my main blog, this is my happy place and I spend here all my free time. Tumblr just thought I was a spam blog and terminated my account and it took me 44 days and like 5 or 6 emails to get it back😭

Because of that I've deleted all the source links in all my posts to avoid it happening again (I'll insert them on the text from now on, but please, don't come for me if any of those posts doesn't have them), I don't think tumblr will give my blogs back next time. I will make a few changes but I'm not leaving, as I said a lot of times before they will have to pry tumblr from my cold dead hands🤣

I'm so happy to be back. Lots of love💚

[obsessivefreakandpartners]

"You are my best friend" by Queen

"Ooh, you make me live

Ooh, I've been wandering 'round

Still come back to you (still come back to you)

In rain or shine, you've stood by me girl

I'm happy at home (happy at home)

You're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live

Whenever this world is cruel to me

I got you to help me forgive

Ooh, you make me live now, honey

Ooh, you make me live"

"I'll never be lonely"

This so so aziracrow coded, it's insane.

"I've been wandering around" =for literally 6.000 years, they have been everywhere

"Still come back to you" = They always find their way back to each other

"In rain or shine, you've stood by me girl"= Aziraphale was there when Crowley was an angel, and that never changed when he became a demon. Rain = First Storm, Shine= the creation of the nebula.

"I'm happy at home" = Crowley's favourite place is the bookshop according to David.

"Whenever this world is cruel to me" = " Loathed by Heaven, hated by hell". And I add " having to wear glasses to hide my nature from humans".

"I got you to help me forgive" = According to the book, Crowley "cursed Aziraphale, the ineffable plan, the above and the below" when he admitted to himself that his angel is gone. For Aziraphale gives him strength to not go after them and go on but when he dies, Crowley loses that and basically says that everyone can go fuck themselves.

"I'll never be lonely" = Now he is

And it breaks him:

"Somebody to love"

Lord, what you're doing to me? (Yeah, yeah)

I have spent all my years in believin' you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord

He works hard) everyday (Everyday)

I try and I try and I try

But everybody wants to put me down

They say I'm going crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

I got no common sense

(He's got) I got nobody left to believe

No, no, no, no

Oh Crowley. Aziraphale was the only one who understood him.

The only one who always said that he is good deep down making Crowley smile even tho he said "shut up" just two seconds before.

The only one who admired Crowley's cunningness, wiliness, brilliancy, ( according to that deleted scene ) whereas Hell only saw him as an employee and heaven despised him.

I also once read an interview of Freddie Mercury according to which, he said that he was disappointed and unsure whether his friends were true ones.

Freddie Mercury according to many accounts was a very lonely man despite being a superstar and a delightful person.

The same thing can be said about Crowley; Everyone knows him, everyone wants or aspired to work with him and everyone wants to be remembered by him. He is the "popular, talented kid".

But Crowley never stops feeling lonely because taking your own way is a solitary path for both Freddie and Crowley alike.

Crowley found love and a home in Aziraphale the same way Freddie did in his former wife.

I think his transcendental love for her is like Crowley's love for Aziraphale, only difference is that Freddie was a human being, a sexual one who had to find that in someone else, whereas Crowley and Azira are supernatural agender and asexual beings who only have a body or a sex life at will, through conscious effort, as Neil said.

[missveryvery]

I wish I'd never gotten into this book. I've never been such a huge fan of anything before and I've never had to deal with this kind of behavior before. I've never stayed so interested in something before. Now I had to delete the pen name account I'd been saving. I want to be a novelist and I had this twitter account I was saving in case twitter stopped sucking and now it's gone.

I don't understand. I would never do this to someone, not over a book. It's so weird to know so many people can hate you over something or make up nonsense about you and feel no remorse. None.

Normally I probably would have ignored all this but I'm going through so much right now, I'm staying in this awful, freezing apartment while my house is being fixed, it's just too much. I can't do this. I'm just so tired and I know this is a small thing, I'm so embarrassed to be so old and still so sensitive about this.

It's been one thing after another. I'm so tired.

I know this is what those people want, exactly why some psycho saved a twitter screenshot from two years ago. I should have just ignored it. I just keep thinking if I explain and cite stuff calmly that people will understand and stop. Like I can't handle when people won't read anything I say or keep making stuff up that I didn't say.

I cannot believe how fucking cold this apartment is. I have to work tomorrow. I'm not going to sleep.

[lukola92]

I have to point something out I feel this fandom speaks before the actors. For instance, this girl, Luke has never come out and said this is my girlfriend. Luke has had every opportunity to do that and has chosen not to. It's not because she's someone he wants to protect because she's been in the public eye. It's clearly because that's what he's choosing. Maybe he doesn't want a serious relationship. Maybe he wants to have casual relationships, but just doesn't know how. But the fans have spoken and called the girl his girlfriend. so how do you end things with someone publicly when you've never actually given them a title? I'm gonna say this once it doesn't matter when the damn picture was taken what matters is that is what he feels. He had to choose to post that particular picture. Pictures are chosen for reasons. That is what he wants to express to the world. So for those accounts that are calling him out, who the hell do you think you are? Is your life perfect that gives you the right to call someone else out? Have you never made a mistakebefore? Because the only people that have a right to make a comment in this are the people that is in his life. We are not a part of his life. The man doesn't owe us anything. Also, one more thing we don't know what's going on currently. We have no clue. so I really hope that he's healing. Also feisty one more comments about him knowing what his friends are posting. Do you guys tell your friends what to post? I don't. And who's to say he even sees the shit. He most likely not online all day like us. And they all do post and deletes a lot. No one wants to see people you trusted are doing you dirty come on now.

but in fact I've always said that L had the power to make it official but by choice he never did it because A is not important .. only DM and the fans if that's what they can be called, they gave her a title .. thinking about today's story, luke as I already said chose that photo on purpose because he showed us all that he is tired of this situation and he is right .. for everything else it is obvious that people cannot speak for him, they only make assumptions and they do not say that what we are talking about is reality .. then obviously many exaggerate on this I agree