#i've mostly been spending time with family and working on school stuff

[donuts4evry1]

happy lny all :)

[roaringroa]

they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end

[nananarc]

Gonna disclose my income as a freelance artist because I feel like it might give some perspective. And mostly bc I'm feeling a bit burnout and I want pity points ok? Lol.

Context 1: For sake of simplicity, all figures are net income (minused all fees, charges, insurance, benefits, etc)

Context 2: I live in a big city in Việt Nam and the cost of living is relatively low. A salary of 1000$/month is considered really good for someone living alone with one pet, no family or children, no debt or other liabilities. Entry level jobs usually start at around 200-300$/month.

.

Let's start in 2021 because that's when it can be considered when I started doing art professionally.

In 2021 and 2022, I was juggling between art school, a part-time online side gig, building social media for my art, and of course try to get commissions. But coms were few and far between, mainly because I didn't have an online present before and I only hang in relatively small fandoms. So all I earn through side gig and art were only some change, in total avarage to about 40$/ month. Some months made up for no income months.

In 2023, things starts to be a bit better as I get more confident in my skill, but coms are still few and far between and months with no income is still common. Side gig was few and far between too and pay less. Overall I'd say it goes up to about 80$/month.

This year 2024, art school is done, I can finally do art full time. But I was severely burnout because all the accumulated stress since waaaaay before catch up with me and i couldn't cope anymore. I have to spend a lot of time resting instead. Fortunately, I received a decent amount of coms each month, and the new patreon surprisingly got a few supporters (I fully realistically expected it to sit at 0 for at least a year). Overall, I have an 8 hours 4 days work week: 4 hours a day on com and managing social media and other stuff that actually makes money; 4 hours a day on my own projects and personal indulgence that doesn't directly make money. As of now, my income is about 180$/month.

.

You are probably wondering how the fuck do one live like this in this economy.

It's because my family is middle class and can afford a freeloader like me in their house, receive their pocket money and tuition fee. I'm privileged.

But of course my family isn't rich and if just one catastrophic event happens to us, we'd be in bad shit. I'm constantly in anxiety of money, work, and the future. It doesn't help that I'm late 20s and many people around keep reminding of how I'm not making money yet still leeching off parents. It doesn't help that, for years all i hear about art is it will just lead to failure and no money.

.

But still, I am thankful of my family for letting me stay here. And all my friends and supporters for giving me money oc lol, but more importantly, believing in me more than I ever do in myself. I read all of your little tags, your keysmash and compliments, and I keep them all dear to my heart, and I went back to them everytime I need motivation. I can't see where my future as an artist will be, but I cling to your support and love as the will to keep going. Thank you all so, so fucking much. I'd have been literally dead in a ditch somewhere without you guys.

Anyway, idk, I've always been adamant about wage transparency (especially in a corporate setting) but I rarely see this in freelance artists. except to flex, to promote the hustle culture, or to sell some courses they made. Most of us don't want/can't subscribe to the grind and have nothing to flex either. All we have is this shit economy. I'd wish we could have been more open about this and many of us wouldn't have to feel so lonely and despair all the time.

[rainyarcades]

GGY headcanons because I've been thinking a little...

==

Greg met Tony and Ellis in September, right at the start of the school year. He was alone and didn't know where to go, but Tony was there like, "Hey, this new kid's lonely. I think we should check on him."

Tony is nice, but also nosy. He likes knowing people, inside and out

Tony finds new kids especially interesting. There's usually more to them being there than others, who just go to the school because they live nearby or thought it was a good school.

This kid, their family, moved here for a reason... Why?

Hurricane doesn't have anything much going for it. While yes, it's the birthplace of Fazbear Entertainment and has the very first, original Pizzaplex, people don't usually move to the town just for that. Parents wouldn't usually do that.

So there's a story there! Everyone has a story.

As for why Gregory's parents moved at all... He has well-off parents who wanted to work with Fazbear Entertainment. Huge economic opportunity. So they moved in from Salt Lake City, you go to Hurricane now my boy

The whole reason Gregory gets glitchtrapped is because of his parents. Karma got them in the end ig....

Gregory is a good friend to both Ellis and Tony. They click immediately, like they've known Greg for years. They know his full name, but Gregory never really went by it back then, sticking with simply Greg (he would've went by 'Gregory' in SB because he forgot he even had that nickname at all.... and while in and out of consciousness before that, even. So Cassie only ever knew him as Gregory)

Rab wasn't around the whole time, lucky for Gregory. He got to know the duo for a few months before that, got close, and clicked super well with them. So he did have a close connection with them before things went wrong, unlike Cassie who he would've gotten less connection with since he didn't really know her (and when he'd met her, he'd just broken free of being controlled for a few hours, with no memory of any events).

Summer came, and Gregory got to test a Freddy's VR game bc of his parents. He would've begged them too, "It's the least you can do for me. You guys don't spend any time with me! Let me come with you to the company building and test the game, pleaseee?"

Something went wrong at the target audience testing. One of the QA testers kept watching him, a blonde woman with green eyes... She was odd, but Gregory brushed the thought away.

That was, until a sharp migraine hit his head, and everything started to go fuzzy from there.

School came back around in September, and GGY happened. Greg acted slightly differently after summer, but it was probably just normal stuff. Right? It's not like there were any stark differences in personality. That's what Tony thought at least, until he dug too deep and... yeah.

To Ellis, his two best friends just went missing. That's all there was, forever, and he just had to deal with that. They were never coming back.

As for Tony, he'd haunt Greg and probably can't quite believe there's life after death

Gregory, at this point, he doesn't remember. So shit falls off shelves, and he hears his name whispered, and he's like, 'huh. must've been the wind... unless, maybe Vanessa's grandma is here? omg Ness, holy shit come here. I think your grandma's ghost is here??"

But it'd get serious when he finds out the truth. When he realises. When he starts getting hurt by this ghost. He tries to communicate (since my Greg is a paranormal believer and Tony owned a DR60 recorder because of him, while Greg owns a REM-pod). Tony is always angry. He's always upset. Gregory finds himself permanently haunted by him.

Rab racked up a few bodies while he was controlling Gregory; therapists, Tony, his parents, and two random kids he didn't even know the name of. Vanny dealt with the rest. Those mostly went to the Tangle, though; Tony was the only one to have a close enough connection to get stuck attached to Greg.

==

That's all I really have rn, idk I wanted to post this somewhere sjhdjbrkfnfm I had thoughts. Many thoughts. I will continue to have thoughts.

[bill-gates-hate-blog]

2024 was a ...challenging year, to say the least. To be frank, I experienced some of the worst things that can happen to anybody, at least insofar as interpersonal relationships. I've been on the receiving end of unbelievable amounts of misogyny and victim blaming from people I trusted, or had assumed were good people, to put it very lightly. People I had known for almost 12 years, at this point. I'm 24. That's half my life.

I'm not a person who generally likes to post things in a sincere way, at least not when it comes to stuff like this. I tend to joke about my own abuse a lot, and I've also made some angry vent posts on here when everything first started going down. I'm all about the art of Posting, even though I'm not very good at it. Sincerity is something I reserve for my friends.

Why share this at all? It's mostly for me, as a capstone to the old year. Symbolic, in a way. Talking about it brings me peace. But it could also help somebody else.

Trigger warnings for SA, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation... all that good stuff.

Earlier this year, in April, I was sexually assaulted by a close friend. We had been flirting on and off for about a year at that point, but I had rapidly grown uncomfortable with it.

He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who I didn't want to harm, even though I would never have described us as the best of friends.

She was asexual, you see. And this guy... did not handle it well. I think some ace/allo couples can make it work. This guy was obviously not capable of that.

You see, unbeknownst to me at the time, long before he started hitting on me, I had been a dumping ground for his abuse. Whenever his girlfriend didn't live up to the insane pedestal he had put her on, he would take it out on me. Not in romantic contexts, mind you.

I joined this website in 2015, at the age of 15. Fun fact, I didn't have consistent access to the internet, then or before. My parents would shut off the wifi whenever they saw fit, to punish us--even if we needed if for school projects. Overly restrictive at best.

Tumblr was my first real social media presence, and I had irl friends on the site (love you soph). It was also the first time I could talk to or contact anybody outside of school or orchestra rehearsals or whatnot. I had no phone, no way to plan hangouts with my friends, and to be frank, I couldn't spend time with anybody unless they invited me somewhere. My family's house is so desperately messy that we couldn't invite people over. Even now, I come home for Christmas and I have to pick one room to clean before I get exhausted. I come back three weeks later and it's messy again.

Tumblr was also the first platform on which he abused me. Mind you, he wasn't here as a Blogger or anything. He made his Tumblr just to communicate with me, because I was so isolated from my friends by my lack of a phone.

You see, my friend had horrendous depression when we were in high school. It was, I now realize, something that was comorbid with his EXTREMELY undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (as well as unmedicated ADHD.) Part of the reason he had acquired a girlfriend at this time, he'd tell me a few years later, was that he was looking desperately, for any reason to live. Whenever he started getting suicidal, he'd text this girlfriend.

When she told him she could no longer handle it, he'd go to me.

And that's how it started. He'd get on this website, he'd talk about how depressed he was--then he'd start random arguments, subtly devalue me, and accuse me of lacking empathy for his pain. There was one particularly egregious example where he sent me a several paragraph long text about how I should french kiss a woodchipper. I could not for the life of me tell you what provoked that. Something completely innocuous, i think. He revealed later that it was all something he did on purpose to make himself feel worse, because by provoking me i would hurt him, and he's the real victim here, right?

I'd try everything to help, because I loved my friend, but it's obviously not a task any teenage girl should be taking on. Ultimately, I just ended up taking on the brunt of his abuse because I was so scared he'd hurt himself, and I made excuses whenever he mistreated me. It will not escape the astute reader that I probably had an abusive upbringing, too.

I started getting an addictive rush every time an interaction went well. I loved talking to him. I couldn't possibly explain why, back then. I thought we must have simply had a very strong friendship, one where we made up quickly after every argument. Of course, I forgave him after every apology he never meant.

This is something called a trauma bond.

It's a coping mechanism for being trapped in the cycle of abuse, and it's often the thing that keeps you trapped, if it's not financial ties or having children with someone.

In junior year, on the second day of school, he tried to commit suicide by overdosing. He told me. Not only that, he told me it was all my fault, and that I wouldn't even care. I didn't notice, because I was too busy hyperventilating and calling 911. There was a terrifying moment where I couldn't remember his address.

But he's here. Alive. On this planet. Because of my actions. I don't pretend it makes me a good person or anything, I think anybody would have done it. I'm not special.

He got diagnosed with ADHD after that, and managed to get on medication for his depression. I'm not sure he stopped abusing me, but the instances where he'd pretend my feelings didn't matter or that he'd have an outrageous outburst of cruelty slowed down. Became more sporadic. By the time we were in college, things were pretty good.

In 2021, I moved to Pittsburgh full-time. I had decided to work for the same university where I had acquired my degree. He had come to Duquesne univesity in 2020, after taking his gen eds at a community college in my hometown. Predictably, we started spending time and drinking together. He had a girlfriend, so I never considered him available and for the first time, his relationship actually seemed to be based on love and mutual trust--not the looming threat of suicide lest his girlfriend ever leave him.

Still, one night September of 2022, when we were both really drunk, he started pestering me asking if he could put his face in my tits. I took it as a joke at first, but he kept asking. Eventually I did it just to shut him up (and he did a right shoddy job of it) but I felt uncomfortable around him for months. I have... never been in a relationship, nor had I anything remotely resembling a sexual encounter at this point.

I think my hypersexuality started here. I dreaded seeing him again, until it was suddenly fine, we talked about the tit incident, and I'd forgiven him. I did notice a significant uptick in my libido, but I still considered him off limits. Instead, I found myself randomly crushing on a different male friend seemingly out of nowhere. I obsessively started to crave physical touch and had no idea how to get it, and i couldn't make my brain work the way dating apps wanted me to. On my birthday in march of 2023, the other male friend and I cuddled a bunch -- I realized this was one of the first times I had acted on my hypersexuality with another person, mild though it was.

When my roommate had to leave the city due to the rising costs of student loans and studying at the university I worked at, I moved into a one-bedroom apartment. My other "friend" who went to Carnegie Mellon had graduated earlier that year. My abuser and I were alone. His girlfriend was graduated and gone home to eastern PA.

Now there was nobody to watch us. And he took advantage of it.

In late july of 2023, once my beloved roommate had taken all the skeletons in the divorce, my abuser confessed to me that he'd always fantasized about me. I dismissed it, once again, as drunken antics. But suddenly I felt so vindicated! It felt nice, as a girl who had never been approached like that, who had been "one of the guys," to be validated as a woman, as a sexual being. I told him "As long as you don't act on it, it's probably fine." He later told me his plan that night had been to sleep with me so he could break up with his girlfriend and kill himself. Awesome, right? What a normal thing to be told.

Things started to escalate with a slow boil after that, though never very far. We'd start talking about our fantasies, and I liked to gather physical touch from him in ways i thought were innocent. He revealed to me his girlfriend was asexual--something she'd actually previously told me, and had me really confused when he first revealed that they'd had sex. I figured she just might have been demisexual like me, but it seemed she had told him she'd never wanted to have sex with him again. He took it very maturely, as you can clearly see throughout this whole saga.

That relationship wasn't long for this world, I knew. Even then, I didn't want to be the thing that broke them up, despite my growing uncontrollable attraction to him. None of my friends would ever forgive me. I just hoped that he'd have the sense to see they were incompatible, and break up amicably.

Lol. Lmao.

Eventually, I got sick of him slowly pushing my boundaries more and more, and I told him I didn't want to hurt his girlfriend, and we needed to stop. I minimized contact, I refused to drink with him anymore, I just wanted to spend time together as friends. He started guilt tripping me, but that was that.

In January, after holiday break, we had a mutual friend come to my apartment. I figured he wouldn't be stupid to bring up our drama when I had considered it over and done with in November. I was comically wrong, and the friend overheard everything. He said that I was "starting to catch feelings too strongly" and that I was "playing the game" (He was very upset I had mentioned our affair to two of our mutual friends, and he wanted to make sure I was swiftly punished for it.) I had also tried to be sincere with him about how I was feeling the last time we had seen each other, though I hadn't called it love at that point. I just liked being with him.

Trauma bond will do some fuckshit to you, but I was trying my best to be a good person despite that-- be honest about my feelings--all of them, even the ones that were wrong, in the hopes that all of this could be solved in a way that wasn't completely catastrophic.

Well, I do realize now he was doing some comical levels of blameshifting, but he told me we shouldn't see each other for a solid two months--fine. But he didn't have to drag this up in front of our poor, unrelated friend. I was furious.

The next time we spent time together, he sexually assaulted me. I use that term because neither 'groping' nor 'rape' is accurate. He jumped on top of me, shoved his face in my breasts, started massaging my waist, told me how pretty I was, and when he went in to kiss my neck. I pushed his jaw away with the heel of my palm. Obviously not the most traumatic thing anybody ever experienced, but enough to make me lose 10 pounds in a week. I had no appetite. He started wallowing in my DMs after that. I told him I understood why he drew the conclusions he drew, and that we both had shit to work on. I could tell he wanted to see me so badly... things were going wrong with his girlfriend again. Well, he was graduating in a month. Now I didn't need to feel sorry at all when he'd leave me alone in Pittsburgh.

I only told my best friend. I didn't want to shatter the friend group and I suspected no one would believe me. (Edit: Also important: The Fear of him killing himself if his girlfriend broke up with him.) Said best friend would be coming over in a few weeks for his birthday. Then he would be driving me home in late may, in tow with all the furniture he was taking from the apartment he'd be vacating. That was it.

I felt horrible for a few days. Then it set my blood on fire.

I told my best friend "I need to remember how Saturday felt," because I could feel my libido rapidly rising. Every second he wasn't there felt like there were razor blades in my veins.

I figured I hadn't been affected by the assault, because i wasn't sex-averse or touch averse like many assault victims. It was something I craved more than ever. I wasn't ever going to approach him, but I knew I wasn't going to stop him if he tried something.

And he tried. He tried many things. We only saw each other three times after that, and every time he took something more, went a little further. Very frequently without asking. Largely this stuff falls under the umbrella of sexual coercion-- I wouldn't have consented to it if he had asked-- but it was generally things I didn't want to say no to. I wanted it violently. I reasoned that I must have allowed it to happen because I was in love with him.

Every time he left, it brought more pain. I couldn't eat. I figured that was what heartbreak felt like. I kept trying to move on and reaffirm myself without him, and kept it secret because I didn't know what would happen if I snitched.

He came back an extra time in early july, with a group of my friends. I figured he wouldn't be stupid enough to try something with four of our other friends supervising us. I was, again, wrong.

I was extremely sleep deprived (44 hours). I'd had very little food because I couldn't bring myself to eat. (on reflection, these were trauma bond withdrawal symptoms.) He had demanded to drink. The friends, (none of whom I'd told anything about this-- or not anything more than "I think he needs to break up with his girlfriend because he likes me, and I don't know how to deal with it") had all gone to bed, given tomorrow'd be a long drive for them. Again, we were alone.

I had a chance to grill him about using me! And be sincere about my feelings. And deliver the ultimate truth: That he and his girlfriend were completely incompatible, and that all his actions over the past several months proved it.

At first I pushed him off me. When he started taking my clothes off, I was like "fuck it. he can do what he wants."

That whole night was him acting on me, and me lying there, pins and needles punctuating every movement because my skin was so sensitive from the sleep deprivation and sunburn--he put me in a headlock without warning, rammed my head into the bed, pulled my hair really hard (my sunburnt scalp!)... I'm a masochist, but it's never okay to do these things without prior warning or discussion. He could have hurt or killed me.

He gaslit me after that incident, said it was my fault for letting him drink, and that I had refused to let him go home (Our friend had called him, multiple times, asking if he needed a ride.) I believed him at first. It wasn't until I recorded everything in my diaries and started talking to my more supportive friends (I have a very detailed memory, especially when it comes to this stuff) that I realized he was full of shit.

The stress from everything caused me to faint in late july. In august, my mental health started rapidly deteriorating, and I ended up dumping a nice boy because he wasn't as abusive as I needed him to be, and because I needed sex now and wasn't sure how I was going to want it from him unless he violated me. Also he didn't want kids.

We started talking about telling the girlfriend. He was convinced that she wouldn't break up with him. After all, we'd never had sex--just fondling, he reasoned. I warned him that all I needed to do was be honest about the sexual assault.

I didn't know I was trauma bonded, I didn't know I was hypersexual, i didn't know I was anything other than a shitty person. When he started hitting on me over voice call again, I decided I was sick of waiting for him to grow a pair and that I'd tell her myself.

Well. The great news is that he was super wrong about his girlfriend not breaking up with him. The bad news is when we stopped talking to each other, he did the craziest blameshifting I'd ever seen, completely reversed victim and offender, and told the events of july 6th like I was a jealous infatuate who had assaulted and inebriated him to get what I wanted-- never mind that he had taken my clothes off first, and that I was too sleep deprived to stop him.

The most abusive part of a relationship like this is the end. Never forget that.

The only reason I knew I could qualify any of this as abuse wasn't the specifics of what he said to demean me, or the DARVO-ing me, or my hypersexual reaction to his assault. No, it was the breaking of the trauma bond after he refused to talk to me, as one final insane punishment.

Did you know trauma bonds have physical withdrawal symptoms? I sure do now :)

Easily the most painful experience out of all of this was those symptoms. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I lost 15 pounds in a month. (He's an excellent personal trainer! I do not recommend!) Tension headaches. I still have moments where I completely disassociate because I don't feel like any of this happened to me, because breaking trauma bonds ALSO give you PTSD on top of the residual bullshit from the actual assault.

It was catastrophic. I was grieving because I lost a lot of friends in very brutal ways, people blamed me or ignored the whole sexually-assaulted-me part, and I was withdrawing from everything and everyone because again, more fun trauma bond withdrawal symptoms.

But I pushed through that. He made it easy by throwing a tantrum and refusing to talk. He still doesn't believe he's done anything wrong. [Fun fact! I have learned this is a cute little technique is called a narcissistic discard! I told everybody it was an instrument in his abuse of me and I was fucking right!]

I have given up faith that he can be a better person, although that pains me greatly. Too many moronic idiot males reinforcing his behavior, because men like this find other men like them. Not only that, but people are too busy blaming me for not saying anything earlier [victim blaming] and not a fucking peep at him for, you know, sexually harassing me for two years. Because holding him accountable would make them "uncomfortable." Really feminist and progressive, honestly.

Now, my life is so much better. I have a renewed interest in life, in the things I want to research and create-- and even better, someone actually worth my time will fuck me. (Eventually. getting into a relationship while recovering from a trauma bond is dangerous. I've been relapsing as of late, in part due to ill-advised whispers from a friend that he is willing to apologize. For that to happen, he has to understand what he did to me first. He doesn't, and he's still too busy thinking none of this is his fault, actually. But I'll die before I let him get away with it.)

Here's to the New Year. If it can be broken by the truth, it must be.

[thedawningofthehour]

JUSt needed to tell you that thinking about "Profile in Quicksilver" got me through the day 💕💕💕

I also love how you incorporate worldbuilding details seamlessly into the narrative without being overwhelming! I love reading Gale & Draxum talking! Do u have any religion/traditions/custom headcanons that didn't show up in the fic (yet)?

thank you so much for writing!!!

Thank you! I do try to avoid lore dumps, even if they can be interesting at times. Ideally, people won't realize they're being lore dumped on. It's like, in a dance when you transition to a different blocking, ideally the audience shouldn't even notice you're transitioning, it should just feel like part of the choreography.

And OH FUCKING BOY DO I. Thinking about the background of the Hidden City and the Yokai as a whole has been so much fun. Making it fit with the lore we see in the show and the actual history of New York City has been so much fun-like, it's not that there happens to be a giant monster city under NYC, NYC became NYC because there was a giant monster city already there. And that's why NYC is Like That. Why are all the dark armor pieces in New York? Because that's where most magic is now, magical beings were driven out from everywhere else.

As far as religion, I've been keeping them pretty secular? Mostly because that's just an aspect I don't feel really jives with TMNT. I have a scene later on where Leo and Mikey attend church with April and her parents, but it's more out of curiosity than any real desire to take up religion. They see it as more of a cool cultural thing that an actual system of beliefs. One of the main things I can remember right now is Leo bitching about the smell of incense.

In the background, I think of the Yokai as following a lot of pagan religions. These people haven't been directly colonized or conquered (or more accurately, were ethnically cleansed instead of being colonized or conquered) so Christianity and Islam are much less common. Probably the same with some other religions that spread due to conquest, but I'm not...entirely sure what those religions would be. (Hellenism? Zoroastrianism? Taoism? Do those fit? I'm singling out Abrahamic religions because those are the most common currently) Also Christianity and Islam are pretty young religions. I haven't made a definite timeline, but I'm leaning towards most Yokai communities being established more than 2000 years ago. Leo mentioned in the Christmas chapter that there were a lot of bright reds and lights down in the Hidden City-pretty much everyone has a winter solstice holiday, so officially they're celebrating the solstice instead of any one religious holiday, and everyone's kind of free to celebrate however they want. Not a lot goes down in December, actually. Schools have most of the month off, a lot of workplaces cut their hours or just straight shut up for a few weeks, most people are partying and spending time with family. It's basically like their summer vacation.

Oh! One thing I will probably work in at some point, but the last of the Yokai migrations happened during WW1. The few remaining exclaves in the human world (like the one in Chongqing, where Tigerclaw was living) basically went "fuck it" and packed up shop, even in places where there was no fighting. It was the nail that drove home that they couldn't exist alongside humans, that even if they weren't warring with the humans themselves they would still get roped into human conflicts, and eventually they would be killed off.

And the thing is, up until recently, the Hidden City was still rather closed off from the human world, despite living underneath NYC. You have to get government approval to go topside, so most people were living their entire lives underground without ever stepping foot in NYC proper. It was really with the invention of television and then the internet that bridged the gap from the Yokai's side, and both those things took a lot longer for the Yokai to adopt. So a lot of human stuff that happened from the 1910s to around 1970s-1980s era didn't get a lot of attention down there.

Like. They know WWII happened. Objectively. By that I mean they knew shit was going down, so the Heads pulled down just about everyone who worked up top and they all just bunkered down for several years until they realized the war was over. It was an annoyance for most of them, a period of time where they couldn't get certain products or had their business disrupted because somewhere in their chain was a guy who worked at a human company and he can't do that now. They were able to read about what happened afterwards and knew vaguely of all the genocides, but most of them didn't look into it very hard. Just more humans bent on killing each other, what else was new? Most of them will still refer to WW1 as 'The Great War.'

And I thought of this scene before October, and I feel like I probably shouldn't use it now due to how politically charged it is, but originally I wanted to include a scene where someone mentions Israel and Josh is really confused because the last time he was living aboveground that area was controlled by the Ottomans and was officially part of Syria. Maybe independent Jerusalem, but why would it be Israel? Bella has to pull him aside and explain. He knew about the Holocaust, but he had no knowledge of Mandatory Palestine or the Nakba. The entire time she's talking and his eyes are just bugging out.

On the plus side, India is no longer under British rule, so he was probably pretty happy to find that out?

I had like several other things I rambled about and deleted because they were going entirely off the rails, I might post those at another time. I've thought about this world way too much and I've written far too little down. (also sorry it took so long to respond! I knew I'd go crazy and wanted to get the chapter done first, and the chapter took longer than I expected lol)

[scarletsaphire]

Danny, newly added to the cheer team (mostly) against his will, is attending his first lock in with the girls. It's a lot more fun than he expected.

--

4th fic for @phicphight, with this one going to @lavendarlily and @lonelygrayrose, with a special shout out to @hannahmanderr because she asked politely. Prompts used will be at the end!

Danny had accepted that he didn't get much control over his life. Ever since he'd died, he was getting pulled one way or another for ghost fights or school or family stuff. It really came to its worst point went he'd been more or less bullied into joining the cheer team. Sam and Tucker were not help; they thought it was hilarious.

It did mean that the already minuscule amount of free time he had was filled with practice, or games, or other team building exercises. Like right now; the annual lock in for the cheer team, hosted in Casper High one and only cafeteria. Really pulling out all the stops.

Danny had been dreading it since it was announced two weeks ago; knowing his luck, there would be some kind of ghost attack, and then he'd have to play the whole "Oh I've been here the whole time!" game. And if that didn't happen, he'd be stuck in the cafeteria with the cheer leader girls for twelve hours straight! Sure, they were nice enough, especially since he joined the team, but that didn't mean they were friends!

It had only taken an hour for Danny to change his opinion.

The parent chaperone very clearly did not care about what they got up to, provided no one broke a bone or stole something where she could see. This allowed them to roll all of the tables off the walls of the cafeteria and construct a complicated and completely unsafe obstacle course for them to run through.

The first two girls had already given it their best shot; the first one, Abigail, who Danny had never seen without bows in her hair, had made it pretty far for being the first one through, but her hair had gotten tangled in one of the wheels, and the official score keeper (who was, of course, Paulina) gave her a DNF. She was currently off to the side with Star, getting her tied back into a braid and watching the spectacle.

The second girl, Brittany, had finished, if her time was a bit sad. "I don't want a repeat of that!" she'd said while the rest of  them teased her about her terrible performance. "I just got these braids put in on Monday, and I am not spending another four hours to get them redone!"

They were going in alphabetical order, so that meant Danny was next up. He lifted his arms above his head to stretch while he analyzed the course.

They'd done a pretty good job, if he did say so himself. There were several tables that he would need to go under, several he'd need to jump, and one they'd set up to require jumping on the seats instead of on the table. A bit rudimentary, sure, but it worked for their purposes.

"So, Danny Fenton," Paulina said, holding her water bottle out towards him like a microphone. "As the only boy on the team, you have quite the reputation to try and uphold. Do you have a strategy going into this?"

Danny flashed her a grin he normally saved for when he was Phantom. "Course I do."

Paulina returned the smile, and leaned in closer. "And what would that be?"

"And spoil the surprise? Not a chance."

Paulina laughed, leaning back on her seat of backpacks, blankets, and pillows. "You're setting high expectations, Fenton. You ready?"

Danny nodded, settling into a running stance.

"Three, two, one, go!"

He started running to the cheers of his teammates.He hadn't lied; he did have a strategy, and it didn't involve any kind of ghost powers. He wouldn't need them.

Danny had spent the better part of two years dodging bullets, ray beams, fire, boomerangs, bazookas, and about a dozen other, faster, much more painful objects. Two years honing reaction speed, flexibility, and spatial awareness, all of which would help him decimate the past two times, and anyone else who wanted to race after him.

Okay, maybe the practice part did involve ghost powers, but he wouldn't be using any now.

He vaulted over the first table cleanly, chaining the momentum to roll underneath the next table in one fluid motion. He came to his feet already running, ready to vault over the next two tables. In what felt like a heartbeat, he was already at the end obstacle, where he'd have to hop back and forth on the seats without touching the table; if he touched it, that would mean an immediate disqualification.

It didn't prove to be any more difficult than any other obstacle had been, although it was significantly slower. Danny leapt off of the final seat straight into a backflip, landing perfectly on his feet.

That part wasn't required; he just felt like flexing a little.

His grand finish was met with the roaring applause of the eight girls; Abigail had even started whistling, much to Star's annoyance, as she was still trying to fix her hair.

"And that is two minutes and twenty seven seconds!" Paulina called from her makeshift chair.

"Damn!" Alysha said. "That is going to be a tough time to beat!"

"Thank you, thank you," Danny said, taking an exaggerated bow. "I'll be here all night."

Alysha shoved his shoulder even while she laughed.

Danny made his way back to the spot he'd claimed, a little bit to the side of Paulina's seat.

"I am so happy we recruited you," she said as he sat down.

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "I am too."

As surprising as it was, it was true. Maybe he'd originally gotten the spot because of his ghost fighting and powers, but it had quickly become the only (mostly) ghost free thing he had. He'd never gotten that kind of luxury at home, and while he loved Sam and Tucker to death, it was way to easy for their hangouts to become patrols or planning patrols. Or homework, but that didn't count.

There was the additional fact that being on the cheer team had made Danny's life easier at school; the teacher's were more lenient with schoolwork, he had a different group of people he could sit with if Sam and Tucker were out sick, or if they got absorbed in their infamous debates, and everyone was just so much nicer to him.

Even Dash had stopped with the bullying, and after a couple stilted conversations and an emotionally charged apology that was leagues beyond what he'd thought Dash capable of, Danny would be willing to call them friends.

Definitely just friends though. It didn't matter that Tucker had caught him staring at Dash several times during lunch or that he got all flustered whenever they ended up in the locker room together. That was a coincidence. 

Just like Danny had expected, none of the girls came even close to his time. Star got a strong second place at three minutes flat, which was very impressive on its own, but his natural talent and years of practice held him high above the rest.

"You have to tell us how you did that," Aubrey said, jutting out her bottom lip. It was the same look she gave Coach Tetslaff every time she tried to extend practice.

Unfortunately for her, it worked just as well on Danny as it did on Coach. "Yeah, sure. Right after I tell you how I handle flying so well."

"Ugh." Aubrey flopped forward into a heap on the table. "You are. So mean."

The sound of a cellphone ringing cut off whatever Danny was going to say next. The team glanced back at the chaperone, who had settled in a corner of the room with a laptop, a thermos Danny swore was full of hard liquor, and headphones. They all sat in silence as she answered the phone.

"Hello? Uhuh. Yeah, I'll be right up. Everything should already be paid for, right? Good." She hung up the phone with a snap and stood from her spot. "Pizza's here. You kids sit tight, I'll be right back."

The group stayed quiet until her footsteps disappeared down the hallway outside of the door, before everyone shared a conspiratory look. Everyone but Danny, that is.

"Uh... what did I miss?" Danny asked.

Aubrey and Abigail stood up, one moving to the window of the door, the other to the chaperone's bag. The other girls all shared the same look again. 

"Did nobody tell you?" Dakota asked.

Danny ran over the incredibly short list of things he'd been told about the lock in, which was basically just that it was a lock in, before shaking his head. "Tell me what?"

"Oh, Ms. Pachelli is a total drunk," Paulina said. "I'm sure you've noticed its not apple juice in her thermos?"

Danny nodded his head.

"Well, that's not enough to last her a whole night, even on a good day, and dealing with us is never a good day in her books." Paulina studied her fingernails while Abigail fished a bottle of whiskey out of her backpack. "So, every year we switch out her spare bottle for one of Abby's parents' old empty ones."

Sure enough, Abigail pulled out an identical bottle from Ms. Pachelli's bag.

"And... you don't get in trouble for that?"

The rest of team all giggled. "Please," Star said dismissively. "She barely cares about us to begin with, and if she tries to get us in trouble, she'd have to admit she has a problem."

"She's coming," Aubrey hissed from the door, and Abigail made a dash back to her backpack. By the time Ms. Pachelli was back in the room, three steaming pizza pies in hand, the whole team was doing a perfect imitation of teenagers who weren't up to anything.

"It'll be over here when you girls are hungry," she said, setting them down where food was normally served. "Uh. You girls and Danny." She amended when she turned around to see them all pointing at him, a habit they'd developed with Coach Tetslaff. Ms. Pachelli settled back down in her corner, taking one, long swig from her thermos, and putting her headphones back on.

The rest of the team

"She'll fall asleep soon," Dakota whispered to Danny. "That's when the real party starts."

Sure enough, it had barely passed 1 AM before Ms. Pachelli had dozed off and the team was left completely unsupervised. Brittany went to make sure she was sleep, and after fiddling with the headphones, she shot a thumbs up at the group. Abigail pulled the bottle back out to the cheers of the team.

"It's time for the real party to get started!" Dakota called.

"Don't we need to stay quiet?" Danny asked.

Star shook her head. "Nah, she's got some video playing in the background. I don't even think a ghost attack would be loud enough to wake her."

"I think its flat earth videos this time," Brittany added. "Definitely looked like it from what I saw, at least."

Danny rolled his eyes. "Why is she even here? If she sucks and also hates all of you-" he ignored whoever called out "She hates you too!" "-why does she volunteer to do it?"

"We ask for her by name," Abigail said, passing the now opened bottle to Paulina.

Paulina took a swig straight from the container before passing it on to Brittany. "That, and if she didn't volunteer for this, she'd have to actually do something at any of the other events the school hosts. She's part of the PTA." 

"Ok, but that doesn't explain why she has to be on the PTA," Danny pointed out.

"Uh, duh, she's Derreck's mom. You can't have a kid in as many extracurriculars as he's in and not be on the PTA," Star said.

"I guess," Danny agreed. He still didn't really understand, but he also didn't want to spend the whole night asking about Ms. Pachelli's life. Besides, the bottle had reached him. He took a small sip from the bottle, and pulled a face at the unexpected burn.

The girls laughed.

"First time tasting alcohol?" Audrey teased, taking the bottle from his hands.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not the first time. I just. Didn't expect it to taste like that."

The girls all shared a look before laughing harder.

"It is going to be a fun night," Paulina said, a mischievous smile on her face.

--

Danny wasn't sure what time it was anymore. He knew that a couple of the girls had conked out, with Aubrey being the first to fall about an hour ago. He knew that he wasn't getting any sleep tonight, and from the looks of it, neither was Dakota, who was blasting music from her phone and dancing on one of the tables. She'd been the one to hog most of the bottle.

Not that Danny was complaining; he was definitely not sober, although he couldn't say whether he was tipsy or drunk or somewhere in between or another word he wasn't privy to. Either way, he was drunk enough that he'd agreed to let Paulina and Star do his makeup, something he would never have agreed to without the help of the whiskey.

"Stop moving," Star said, holding him by the shoulders and looking into his eyes, as if she could psychically control him into not moving. Jokes on her, Danny knew how mind control worked, and it was only sometimes like that. "Or else we're gonna-" she hiccoughed, then continued as if nothing had happened, "-mess up your makeup."

"Yeah," Paulina said. "And you don't want to look like a mess for Dash, do you?"

Danny snapped his head towards her, nearly poking his own eye out with the makeup applicator she was using.

"Stooop!" Star said, turning his head back towards her.

Danny obeyed, but he turned his eyes to look at Paulina. "Why would I care about what Dash thinks?"

He could just barely make out her flat stare from the corner of his vision. "Because you like him?"

"I do not!" Danny protested.

Star giggled while Paulina talked over her. "Danny, we have eyes, you know. And we've seen yours wandering to him every time he's anywhere near you."

Danny opened his mouth to protest, but Star pushed it shut. "Nuh uh. Lipstick first." He tried again, but was met with the same result. "I will smear this all over your teeth do not test me Fenton." This time, Danny obeyed.

 By the time he had finished, his initial protests had already died out. It wasn't like they were wrong; he just hadn't realized he'd been so obvious about it. "Fine. I might have a little crush."

"Well if by "little crush" you mean that you're head over heels in love with my best friend, then yeah, I know you have a little crush on him."

"Hey!" Star cried. "I thought I was your best friend?"

"Best boy friend," Paulina corrected. "But not boyfriend boyfriend. We tried dating, but he's not interested in me. Which, you know, I was insulted with originally, but he's just not into any girls, so the fact that he was into me enough to try dating is a win."

"So, he likes-"

"Boys, yeah."

"Which means you have a chance," Paulina added. "But only if you sit still and let us make you look pretty!"

Danny really didn't think he had been moving around all that much, but he made sure to sit even stiller now.

"You're gonna need to be the one who asks him out."

Star nodded. "He's worried about doing something wrong, cause he was so mean to you before." Star paused at Paulina's glare. "Oh. Was that a part I wasn't supposed to share?"

"Yes," Paulina said, annoyed. "But it's too late now."

"Wait, hold on, what?"

"Oh, he likes you too," Paulina said. "It's gotten kind of annoying, listening to him go on and on about how 'cool' you look doing flips and everything."

Danny felt his face heating up more. "I mean. I just. I don't really know how to ask someone out?"

"Oh trust me, I know," Paulina laughed. "Don't think I've forgotten all the shit you pulled during freshman year."

Danny's face burned even hotter.

"Polly, you're embarrassing him!" Star said, but she couldn't stop a giggle of her own. "We're supposed to be helping!"

"I know, I know, but I can't help it!" Paulina said, her laughter dying out.

"You two planned this?" Danny asked incredulously.

"I mean, we didn't not plan it?" Star replied.

"No, we planned it," Paulina corrected. "I think Abigail even put it on her itinerary, but she fell asleep, like a loser."

Star giggled again. "So we're taking over!"

"You've got to be more confident, flaco. You get all blushy and stutter, and give up halfway through, and while that's adorable, it's not going to work if you want results."

"We've seen you on the field, we know you can do it, so don't try to deny it," Star added.

"But that's an entirely different thing!"

"It's not that different," Paulina said.

 Star ignored her. "Then just pretend you're on the field! Put on a good show for him, and I guarantee he'll be drooling all over you. Just like he is during the games."

"He is not drooling about me during the games."

"Oh, he so is," Star countered. "You remember the game you first debuted?"

Danny nodded; while he'd done fine, the actual game had been a bit of a shit show. Casper High had lost, fourteen to nothing.

"Dash only fumbled that because he was so distracted by you," Paulina said. "Tripped right over his own feet, cost us the first points of the game, and it was all down hill from there. If you can do that when you aren't even trying, imagine what you can do to him when you are."

"I think we're done here," Star said, withdrawing from Danny.

"I think we've outdone ourselves," Paulina said, angling his face to admire their work. She grabbed a small mirror from her pocket and passed it over to him. "What do you think?"

He looked surprisingly good, much better than he expected considering the fact he was a boy and that the people doing his makeup were at least a little drunk.

"It looks good," Danny agreed.

"No," Star protested. "You look good, and you need to take that vibe with you when you ask Dash out tomorrow."

"Who said anything about tomorrow?"

"We did," Paulina said. "Because tomorrow, we're going to be dragging him with us to the park and finding a convenient excuse to leave him there alone."

"You're gonna swoop in, and you're gonna ask him out and save him from having to deal with us all day."

"Trust us. It'll be perfect."

"I don't-"

"Shh." Star put her finger over Danny's lips. "We're doing this, whether you show up or not."

"Which means we need our rest, and you need your beauty sleep."

"So shoo while we clean up."

Danny didn't really know what else to do besides walk back to his pile of stuff and get comfortable.

He guessed he was going to the park sometime tomorrow. He hadn't been planning on it, but that was ok. He was used to that.

--

Prompts:

LonelyGrayRose - "Well if by "little crush" you mean that you're head over heels in love with our best friend, then yeah, I know you have a little crush on [him/her]" lavendarlily - Who knew Danny Fenton was so agile? Paulina makes it her personal mission to get him on the cheer squad.

[afterthefuneral]

The Swan Song of a Dying Girl: The Strange Life and Times of Bellatrix Deetz

(working title)

So, I've been thinking. Quite a few people have requested a follow up of my epic Beetlejuice Beetlejuice fanficiton Cradle to Grave. I thought I ended things pretty nicely, but left a tiny bit of a cliffhanger. But I've been thinking for a few days and I kind of wanted to explore the character of their daughter Bellatrix Deetz. People liked her personality, the impish bundle of energy that's a carbon copy of her ghoulish father. I thought it would be fun to write about her growing up, the challenges she faces being so different, the relationships between her and her family, and the struggles her parents face raising her. I'm a little wary, because I know people don't go crazy about OC's. But I feel like I need to write this for myself, for my own enjoyment.

I'll write the first chapter or two soon and post to AO3 just to give people a taste.

Mostly, I have a lot of ideas of writing her as the most unruly teen imaginable. Who in a lot of ways acts worse than Beetlejuice. Giving her mother and father grey hairs. Here were some of my ideas:

Telling a frustrated principal “if you don’t like being a teacher I hear Walmart is hiring janitors.”

Giving a long highly detailed class presentation on how Ben Franklin was gay, and that his kite experiment was an accident and he was just soliciting gay sex. “My dad will seriously back me up on this.”

As a prank releasing pigs in the school with numbers spray painted on their backs 1, 2, 3, and 5. And the school spends all day trying to find 4.

When her school is seeking suggestions for a yearly fundraiser she submits “we should make a pubic hair quilt from stuff we find in the boys locker room and auction it off to the highest bidder.”

Modifying a go kart in shop class to be her friends new wheelchair and taking him out on the highway in it. He can’t use his legs for the pedals so she just gives him a broom he can use to operate it.

Buying a tattoo gun from Temu and giving her friend and her matching tattoos.

Sneaking into the afterlife when her family is asleep to be a little pest.

Roasting everyone around her and being a little motherfucker.

[jacksonthereaper]

🥳HAPPY 2024🥳

Thank you all for the kind words on the last post, this past year has been kicking my ass with school, family, emotions, etc. but hopefully 2024 will be a new start for me and i'll manage to (at least somewhat) turn things around mental health-wise. Thanks to everyone who stuck with me and helped me out through these tough times. I appreciate you all. I really do 😊😊

But anyway, LET'S GET TO THE MAIN EVENT

I have two big announcements regarding future projects:

First, about the Daily Bestiary: I'm just gonna be straightforward here, cause real talk, i've lost pretty much all interest in mythology and folklore, i tried to reignite that passion but after pretty much half a year of having it as an interest, it's just not something i'm into anymore. This is all essentially to say that Daily Bestiary is pretty much dead. I'm thinking of maybe having people send on their own posts and submitting them for me to post (with credit given of course) but that's just an idea for now.

NOW ONTO THE REAL BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

My current interests are general fiction (particularly manga and anime), fantasy and sci fi, as well as character creation and world-building. With this, i've been working on the basis for a fantasy/sci-fi story i've been putting together for a while now. And that story is called:

WONDERBOUND

Wonderbound will center around three teenagers living in NYC: 15 year old Eddie McKlee, 16 year old Akio Murasawa (born and raised in Japan, later moved to the states) and 15 year old Marta da Costa (born and raised in Brazil before later moving to New York). They discover and end up traveling to another planet known as Golfraeym, a magical planet filled with strange creatures, fantastical landscapes and colorful people. They now must spend their every day switching between their regular school life during the day and their duties with the Nozh Ved'my, a division of the legendary organization known as Svyataya Sila, in Golfraeym during the night

On this journey they will discover different planets with their species, cultures, languages and learn the great secrets of a universe full of mystery and wonder

From here on out i'll mostly be sharing details about Wonderbound through not just written posts, but also asks you guys send. There's a lot of stuff that still needs more time in the hoven but feel free to ask away and i'll answer you to the best of my abilities

So ye i hope you're interested in what Wonderbound has to offer and feel free to ask me anything abt, i've been working p hard to put this world together so i hope you are all as interested in hearing about Wonderbound as much as i am in creating it

Have a good one! ✌️

[smolbluebirb]

thinking thoughts about Billy and Max's relationship - specifically that Max needs as much of a sibling character growth arc as Billy does.

I've seen lots of fics examine the siblings' relationship and have Max's view on Billy suddenly shift once she finds out about Neil's abuse. Max develop a sudden well of empathy and understanding for Billy once she learns that his dad beats him. and honestly I enjoy that characterization and it's very much my cup of tea - but it's not what I expect from their canon portayals. I don't think Max would see the abuse in the same light as we do.

I've heard that Runaway Max makes it canon that Max knows - has literally watched - Neil beat Billy. and gone on the next day still hating him, and maybe even believing that Billy deserves it. that, horrifying as it is, seems a lot more realistic to me.

bear with me here: a story about me and my younger sibling to give perspective into my point about Billy and Max.

I've got a little brother. our family has lots of problems, but our relationship was never great as kids just cuz I didn't want anything to do with him. both of our parents are youngest siblings and I've been getting sat down for talks since I was a toddler about how he deserved a nice older sibling, and I ought to share all my toys with him and play with him whenever he wanted and be his best friend because that's all they ever wanted from their older siblings. and I resented that. I hated the unfairness of me being expected to cater to him because I was arbitrarily older.

so I wasn't particularly cruel, but I was certainly rude, and I did everything I could to make it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him. and he would go straight to our mom and say I was being mean - and I would get beaten, or lose meal privileges for a few days, or have everything taken out of my room and locked in there for a day or two.

I was in some kind of trouble all the way into middle school, and it made me really, really angry because I had never asked for a sibling. I wasn't mean, I didn't mess with his stuff, I didn't have problems with anyone else outside of the house. but because I was the older sibling, he got to hold all the cards and I could be nursing bruised ribs for weeks because he felt like telling our parents I refused to play lightsabers with him.

but as I headed into highschool he got a gang of friends and was happy to spend his time off with them, so he left me alone for the most part. I still wanted nothing to do with him but it was finally mutual, and I mostly got a break.

here is where it ties into Billy and Max.

when he was twelve, we started going to this little hick cowboy church. I had always been a people person and super popular with adults and peers alike, but I was also super into literature at that stage of life and developing some nasty mobility disabilities, and I started being bullied very badly by the people there for wanting to hang inside and read instead of playing football, volleyball, etc. outside with them. they were VERY hick, man. demonize higher education, a man is out in the field, a woman is in the kitchen, hick.

and that became a very, very regular occurrence.

and one day at home, he waltzed into my room and started telling me at length how I was worthless and no one liked me or wanted me around and I should do everyone a favor and just disappear.

people love my brother, man. they did then, they do now. he works full time with kids, mentoring them and shit. he's good at it. he's not necessarily nice, he's always had a caustic brand of humor, but it's the kind people find hilarious. hell I find it hilarious. it's a lot like Max's in the show.

and you know what? when our mom dragged us to a dinner together years later, as adults, and whined about why we weren't close, I brought up the period in our lives where I was extremely suicidal (I attempted multiple times around then and they are well aware) and all the remarks he'd make. I pointed out that he'd never given me any form of apology, nor had he ever made an effort to build a relationship with me, so I saw no reason to reach out to him.

and he looked me dead in the eye and said he wasn't sorry, and it was my fault if I'd been that bothered by what he said.

that kid was raised from infancy being told that he had every right to demand my time and attention and walk past my boundaries. that kid heard from his friends that it sucked he was stuck with a loser for an older sibling. that kid saw every beating I took and every suicide attempt I made and all the health complications I have from childhood malnutrition and mistreatment as my own fault for not being a better older sibling - because that's what everyone fucking told him his whole life.

so. Max Mayfield.

I wanted to share all this with ye peeps of Tumblr because it seems like a lot of people have genuinely never come across a situation like I grew up in. that it isn't a perspective that's easy for other people to slide into.

most of what we know about Billy comes from Max's perspective of Billy. and where does Max's perspective of Billy come from?

consider every time she hears Neil tell him to be responsible. that he's wasting his life going to parties. that his music is trash. to be a real man. to show some respect.

we know that there's nothing wrong with metal music and teenagers party and that Neil's version of respect and responsibility is toxic as hell - but Max doesn't necessarily. Max knows that her new older brother is rude and always getting in trouble. Max knows that her parents say he should be nice to her and spend time with her and give her things and he doesn't.

we learned about Billy's abuse and saw him in a new light because we know there is nothing that warrants a minor being beaten. and we know the psychological impact being raised like that can have. and we can imagine how Billy could be if he was given a safe, healthy environment instead of the horror of a homelife he has in the show.

but as a kid in that household in the 1980s, Max doesn't. Max hears from her dad that Billy deserves it and sees from her mom that it's fine and hears from her friends that Billy is the worst.

and I just don't see Max realizing that it's horrible that Neil beats Billy. I see her doing things that'll get him in trouble anyway and thinking that he's an asshole so he probably deserves it.

and after the nailbat to the nuts, I think Billy backing off and their relationship stabilizing has less to do with him being scared of Max and more to do with her finally being willing to keep up her end of the status quo of completely ignoring each other, now that she has friends to fill her time with.

and most importantly - I don't think this makes Max an awful person. I think she's a product of her environment and I think she's a kid so she has very little control over that environment.

I think we, the fandom, like to go with the easy answer that of course Max's view of Billy will change once she learns of Neil's abuse because we don't want to think of Max as being the little sibling who will tell you to kill yourself and stand by it years later. she can say "sometimes I wished he was dead" and that's okay because she regrets it now, but I'm suggesting that if Billy hadn't died, Max wouldn't have regretted it.

and I think Max both needs and deserves a character arc of recognizing that her parents were wrong and their treatment of Billy wasn't okay and that she was wrong and her treatment of Billy wasn't okay, either.

I'm not blaming Max. I don't blame my little brother. when you're a kid and you have fucked up parents, you end up where you end up. but then, you have the chance and the responsibility to learn better and do better. and we explore that with Billy all the time, but to get Max from Point A to Point B, she has to go through all that too.

Billy hurt Max, but Max hurt Billy too. they were both kids. they both have to learn better.

[never-wednesday]

Hey its a Lil late in the month but this disability pride month I wanna talk about long covid. I also have chronic pain and all sorts of worms in my brain but I've been dealing with that forever. So we're talking about the new stuff. Putting a readmore because I'm talking about what my experience being sick with covid was like and it's probably unpleasant to read.

It's December of 2022 and I work retail while I'm home from school for winter break. I mask up every time I leave the house, including for work. My parents don't. My father talks about covid not being a big deal. He caught it last year and it was a mild cold for him. He says "i ate lunch with someone who had covid last week and im fine!" My mother catches covid a week after that conversation. I test and am seemingly fine despite symptoms of a cold, and then three days later (one of those days was a full 8hr shift at work where I was worn ragged because it's almost christmas. I also got heat exhaustion because the AC was busted and I live in TX.) I feel the worst I have felt in ages. My mom insists that my dad takes me to get tested for the flu, and I schedule a covid test while I'm at it. My covid test comes back positive.

For the next week I am bedbound, only able to sit up enough to try to eat something and only able to stand up long enough to get myself to and from the bathroom. I sleep through the days when I can get the dayquil down, and cough through the nights when I can't get the nyquil down. I hallucinate when im tired. One of those nights I swear I talk to god. My brain is fogged and it hurts to breathe. I am worried I will need to be hospitalized because I can't seem to keep any water in my system. It's a miracle that I can write instructions for my father to cook ramen for me. I can only drink the broth. One morning I try to take dayquil to soothe my throat and I vomit. My stomach is empty and I stand over the sink wretching.

It feels like a miracle when I recover. Christmas day my symptoms mostly clear up and I'm able to sit up long enough to use my computer, something I was unable to do for the past week. I test negative, my second best Christmas present that year. The first is the Elden Ring soundtrack on vinyl. I am elated that I made it put the other end.

A week later my friend comes from a few cities away to visit for a few days. We go shopping one afternoon, spend a few hours standing around at the local game store looking at dice and miniature plastic dragons. We get home at 6pm. I collapse into bed and wake up 3 hours later. I talk to my doctor about it in January, she says it should go away over time. Six months maximum.

I spend my spring semester exhausted. I start using a cane to make sure I can walk across campus. I'm thankful that many of my friends are also disabled because they understand when I need to ask people to slow down, or bail because of my fatigue. Many of the abled people in my life do not understand. One day I go out to a museum, a thing I am excited to do. When I get home at 4pm I make myself popcorn, then collapse into bed. I can't walk to the sink without my cane, I can barely get out of bed. This is what I have to adjust to.

Six months pass. The fatigue is not gone. I am home for summer break, and I try talking to my parents about my fatigue. They don't understand. I talk to my doctor. She is convinced it's depression symptoms. My mental health is largely the best it's been in years- I've been in treatment for months now and it is helping.

It's been about seven months now. I am not receiving treatment, nor will my doctor acknowledge that I have long covid. She has relented into testing for physical things. I got a CT scan, and have a sleep study scheduled for when I get back from visiting family in August. Depending on what these turn up and how my doctor reacts I am preparing to find a new doctor. I am not excited about this, because I like my doctor. But if she refuses to acknowledge that what has happened to me is likely covid and therefore will not treat me I will find someone else.

I don't really have a moral here beyond please mask up, get vaccinated, etc. Even if covid doesn't fuck you up it might fuck up someone you pass it to. Or even worse, it can kill the immunocompromised people around you. Please have compassion for the people around you. My father, who is a loving and caring man, brought this illness home to me. It wasn't out of malice, but it still has affected my life for probably the rest of my life.

[vermillionsails]

Marc Spector Headcannons part 1

I've been playing Marc Spector on a Discord group and have fics in the works for him but, these are the headcanons that my brain decides to come up with and bonk him over the head with the tragedy sick with. There will be a part two of him in a relationship and NSFW stuff related to that. After this, I will be posting my Jake fic so enjoy! ps. sorry for the clickbait gif, I promise there will be suit-related content in the Future.

Quick A/N I'm finally almost done with the Jake fic I'm working on I only have two more scenes to write. then I'll be updating Fountain pen and uppercut. I'll be posting two Miguel o'hara fics after that then ill be working on a Poe fic. that's my line up so far. for anyone that's interested. also, I googled some stuff to try and be accurate to the character. the marc I have in my head also doesn't practice Judaism anymore but Steven does so if the food headcanons leave you confused that's why. Also Tumbler decided it was too long so there will be a second part which annoys me but it is what it is.

Trigger warnings: child abuse, food, music, taking of his life, Military service, and training. NSFW stuff about puberty. That's all I can think of.

childhood

• He is uncomfortable with staring. When Wendy wasn't physical, she would go nonverbal and stare a hole into the back of his head until he would get out of her sight whether it be him running up to his room or getting on his bike and riding to the park.

it wasn't just his birthday that Wendy wouldn't join or get drunk and blame him again. It was every holiday and the anniversary of his brother's death. It even expanded into Wendy going off on him if he was visibly enjoying himself. It has caused him to curb his enthusiasm about things and not want to celebrate holidays.

Bathing/showering was hard for him to get back into after the accident. The spray and the sound of the shower would give him flashbacks to when the cave was filling up. Baths would give him the same flashbacks. It took him months to get to a place where he could clean himself and get out fast enough that it wouldn't send him spiraling. He still showers fast to this day. He doesn't like the sound of rain either.

He has to be quiet. If he was quiet then, he could be in his room and read or play a little bit with his toys. He walks quietly too or won't make much noise still. He accidentally sneaks up on people because of it.

Wendy wasn't hostile all the time, and on those days he would let Steven front unless he wanted the day to himself but that would be very rare. He always tried to protect Steven and take the brunt of it.

He doesn't trust himself to cook, mainly because Wendy would snatch whatever pan or utensil out of his hand and told him that he didn't need to ruin anything else in the house. His dad found out it happened so he would get things for the microwave or have Marc wait until he could cook dinner for the two of them. He only knows how to cook two things.

After his brothers Shiva and Wendy's outbursts, their family members quit hanging around. He would rarely get to see his dad's mom who was the only other woman figure that treated him warmly.

His dad made him go to Hebrew school. He didn't get a bar mitzvah either. His dad would make him go to the temple but after he turned 15 his dad quit asking or making him. He could see Marc lose his faith.

He and his dad would watch replays of Cubs and Bears games late at night as Wendy was sleeping. It was the only time his dad could show affection to him as well. Mostly a hair ruffle or a shoulder squeeze.

Marc was able to do enough to be passing in school, He didn't make friends after everything with his brother and Steven showing up. He couldn't risk spending the night or hanging out and switching. He spent most of his time at the park walking around or reading or drawing sometimes. 

(warning his edgy phase) He was at the park one day and saw a couple of goth kids walk by. He went to the library and looked up what he saw on their shirts and was hooked for a while. He wore mainly black and painted his nails until the bottle ran out. He got a long black coat and a choker too at the thrift store but the choker fell apart a week after he bought it. He tried to dye his hair and give himself streaks but his dad talked him out of it in fear of what Wendy would do to him. 

He would listen to The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, Bauhaus, the sisters of Mercy, Depeche Mode, HIM, Deftones, pearl jam, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, foo fighters, smashing pumpkins, L7, Bush, Incubus, Kittie, slipknot, Korn, Mudvayne, a system of a down, limp bizkit, linkin park, disturbed, Alanis morissette, Green day, he even listened to the cradle of filth and cannibal corpse for a while. 

He used to wear eyeliner. It was only in his waterline but Wendy found the nub of it he had left and threw it away. He didn't rebuy it when he found it in the trash. 

He has a fondness for bugs and the ducks and other waterfowl at the park he was at all the time. He use to draw them with an ink pen.

As a kid during the summer, he used to hide and sneak away from the house during block parties. He would set off fireworks and go trick-or-treating with the neighborhood kids then. They let Marc hang out with them cause they knew what happened to his brother and they didn't mind too much Marc was quiet the whole time. 

Marc had a hyper fixation with sharks. It started with him thinking it could help with his water phobia it didn't but he thinks they're cool creatures and knows a bunch of fun facts about them.

When he was a teenager a girl named Hannah asked him over for help with homework. He generally thought she wanted help. She didn't

He loves adventure and horror books. Stephen King and Jules Verne are two of his favorite authors. He also read Jumanji multiple times as a kid and watched the movie multiple times when that came out

(Puberty stuff ahead) when he started to get pubes he didn't understand why hair grew there cause he didn't talk to his mom or dad so he always shaved it off. He would usually nick or cut himself but got better over time. He didn't realize he could trim or grow it out until he watched porn.

When he explored his body for the first time he had to learn how to be completely silent. He went online and learned how to choke himself so he could be quiet. Over time with partners, he learned he didn't have to do that but sometimes he craves having a hand around his throat. 

Kissed his pillow as practice. He froze the first time a girl kissed him. All that practice went out the window. 

Picked at his skin when he had acne. Still does from time to time but Steven and Jake usually have the most consistent skin routine which lessons it. 

Cucumber melon and lip smackers send him back to high school and middle school. He always thought they were nice smells/tastes. If you wear those around him he definitely would give kisses throughout the day or kiss the gloss/chapstick off. He will smell and or sniff you when he hugs or cuddles you. 

Marc used to wear his shoes out so badly that the souls at the bottom would tear off or his toe would poke through the top. He didn't get brand new shoes until his military shoes and after that. He usually would wear what he could find at thrift stores with the money he got from mowing lawns in the summer. 

From the age of 14-18, Marc would mow lawns during the summer for money. He would go wash off at a truck stop cause he didn't want his room or parts of the house to smell like grass and give Wendy another thing to yell at him for. It usually cooled him off during the summer anyway. 

Before Marc left for the military at 18. He mowed a new neighbor's yard for her during one summer. He didn't understand why she would stare at him until later in life. He doesn't know how to take it to this day. 

Marc was a very awkward flirt at first. Hannah had to teach him how. He was very thankful for it. 

During middle school, he got a girl he had a crush on a sticker she wanted for her collection. She kissed his cheek in return. It made him noticeably flush a shade darker. He still will flush that deep if you kiss his cheek. 

Marc used to steal his dad's cologne and wear it. It was Old Spice. Kids at school would say he smelled old but he liked it anyway.

He bought his bike from a thrift store

Constantly fixed flats with duct tape.

  He used to visit and just sit at Randall's grave. It usually ended with him sobbing saying sorry and telling Randall what their mom would do to him. Eventually, it got to the point where Marc would eat lunch or just sit there after. The groundskeeper would give Marc pop during the summers. 

 Before almost shooting himself in Khonshu's temple. Marc tried jumping off a bridge as a teenager but couldn't do it; he was too scared to end up in the water below. 

Space is a hyper fixation for him along with sharks and baseball trivia. He used to collect baseball cards as a kid. 

Use to spend time in a comic book store and read TMNT comics and other superhero comics. He also used to try and watch Saturday

Morning cartoons before his parents woke up. He got to see a couple of episodes of TMNT, Thundercat's, Transformers, Jem and Holograms, sailor moon, gargoyles, and Gi joe if he was lucky. 

Had crushes on Demona, Pumyra, Jem, Sailor Mars, and April O'Neil

calmer headcannons

he listens to "newer" bands like sleep token, I don't know how but they found me, fallout boy, my chemical romance, and Lorna Shore as he works out. 

His music Tastes got expanded when he was in the military due to his fellow soldiers. 

He didn't have very many video games. He didn't get his game system until his housing after the military. Resident Evil and Silent Hill are some of his favorites. 

Marc didn't realize he and Steven were on the spectrum until the military and their assessments of him. He just thought he was weird

He's decent at masking and learned how to hide his fidgeting. He likes fidget toys he can squeeze or rub. It helps his need to be quiet and helps him focus or gives him something else to do when he's overstimulated. 

He's had a few meltdowns when a schedule has changed out of nowhere or when a spot he likes gets crowded with people. 

Has texture issues with shirts and blankets. If they're not cotton or just soft he won't use them. If he has no other choice he will be very grumpy. 

He zones out big time but it's only when he is comfortable other than that he's on high alert

He likes flying and doing parkour in the suit. Gets adrenaline filled easily after. 

Marc sleeps on his side and cuddles a pillow.

Sneezes loud and takes him a minute to function after

Refused to wear sunscreen and had to be broken out of it. (He got a really bad burn and learned his lesson.) 

Knows first aid and CPR. 

[n0wav]

My Miku Obsession...

Hello chatters!!!

I am currently coming at you guys from my pc in which i use to play video games such as, overwatch, fortnite, destiny 2, league of legends (i feel off fr on that game) and good ol' roblox and minecraft.

if anyone wants to play any of these games with me (mostly fortnite) please dm me and we will play at any point you'd like!

Now back to the topic at hand

she has blue hair, blue eyes and she hides in your wifi...

IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS

HATSUNE MIKU!

Now my story starts aaaaaalll the way back to the year 2010, I was age 5 in my daycare/pre-school. Now my time in that daycare has many many many stories, but i will not be talking about those at the moment. Now as a child i did not enjoy nap time at daycare. I was not able to sleep thanks to my ADHD, so instead I was allowed to stay up and like draw or play with toys and stuff. At this daycare, maybe at many more I've only been at the one, they had highschool interns working there and helping the main teachers take care of and control the little children.

There was one high schooler who, instead of just making me draw, she would take me to the office and watch youtube, and majority of the youtube videos were miku music videos. As a little 5 year old i was automatically hooked, to the point to where I would beg our roommates (we lived with another family for a large part of my life) to let me use their computer so I could keep watching more and more videos over and over all day long.

Now through the years I stopped watching many of the videos mostly because i was scared people would think i was weird for watching them so in middle school i basically fully stopped and ended my love for miku.

up until high school in my freshman year where i came across a random miku video and decided to click on it....

I was then hooked again.

i kept it a big secret however, not even telling my close friends.

near the end of highschool i kinda stopped again mostly because i was going through a whole lot and i just really could't watch much things anymore so I had a small break.

Recently i've been falling back into miku and its been awesome and i now remember why i loved her so much. I cannot stop wathcing videos and listening to songs and once i have money i will spend it all on plushes and figures!

we love miku

miku is our everything

here is a miku song i suggest yall should listen to

thank you all for listening tomorrow i will make another post where i will do an analysis of a band and it will be very very good and def wont be another rant :3

last note this is the best miku song (joke)

[borkborkheresadork]

checking in on friends, mutuals and following list, How are you? feel free to use this ask to talk about recent life happenings, something you're passionate about, or anything <33 remember I and I'm sure others care about you and your posts <33

I'll start with the good bits.

The semester is officially over for me and once i finish up work and once I go on break next week, ill have 3 weeks for break. I get to meet up with a online friend irl and spend time with my family and friends during that time so im actually very excited to go back home for so long! Also, I just gained 2 boyfriends and am in a wonderful throuple now :3. Next semester I'm taking classes that are easy but also fun and are less focus on my degree and more focused on my interest, so I'm hoping that will help with my burnout. Over the course of the semester I also got involved with a progress group up here and have been assigned to be their mutual aid coordinator!

I started writing more (nothing that will be posted to this blog) both with music and fanfic. It's nice that I'm at a place where i can (mostly) freely write my ideas.

There's a lot of bad bits, though.

So I've come to the very difficult decision of cutting off my mom. After break i'm going to get a bank account separate from hers and cut contact. There was a bit where we were both communicating well, but I got into a fight with her after she tried to guilt trip me into calling her on thanksgiving (I wasn't talking to her outside of documented forms of communication since she is a habitual gaslighter and likes to say she didn't say things when she very obviously did, and I like to have my receipts when I call her out). After idk maybe like 10 years or something she finally admitted I'm on the spectrum but only because it was convenient to aid in her argument of 'you never understand me and thats clearly because you're autistic and not because im in the middle of a manic episode and i'm not being rational'. So that will be fun to deal with, especially since I'm worried for her safety if I do cut contact, being her only child and her telling me pretty consistantly throughout my life that im her only reason to live. Scary stuff, but necessary for me to stop holding on to that guilt and working through a lot of trauma.

I finished my semester withdrawing from 3 classes and likely failing another, and feeling burnt out to keep going. I need to go to college for a lot of reasons (degree required for the job I want, first gen student/family pressure), but im considering taking it at a considerably slower pace.

I just got on testosterone but thanks to an insurance complication I might have to go without it for a bit. I was previously getting it through my school, but I just got on state insurance and that fucked with my access to it. The good news is that i will likely have a lower co-pay, the bad is that I'll probably have to wait another month to get back on it. One step forward one step back.

The person I thought to be my best friend dropped me out of the blue, which sucks on its own, but the fact that it's been a consistent pattern of people in my life ghosting/dropping me with very little reasoning or with one's ive not found to be true just sucks. I think I'm a loving person in my own way, and the fact that I was called selfish when I A) show a lot of affection towards my friends and B) know my own boundaries when it comes to my relationships with them, it makes me upset. The other person wasn't entirely at fault, I did handle the situation kind of poorly, but I also contributed more to that friendship then that person ever did. I bought food. I made the plans. I hosted. And I thought when the argument that broke us up happened, we just needed space from each other. I guess that wasn't the case and it's sad that the person couldn't communicate their needs earlier so we could have resolved the situation. That being said, on a less neutral perspective. Fuck him. He claimed to be loving and whimsical and had no patience for anyone. Everything pissed him off and he didn't cope in healthy ways and when I tried to help him he didn't take it. He was uncommunicative and disrespectful of other people's boundaries and expectations for friendship. I wish him the best with the realizations he's going to have later in life.

Even though I'm excited for family during the holidays, my dad is coming to town and I'll have to navigate them with him. I stay with my grandmother during breaks, so I'll have to look for another place to stay while he's in town and crashing with her. I feel a little ostracized knowing that they'll accept a bigoted abuser into their homes and make me wait upstairs until he's gone.

Then there's everything else. I live in a country that refuses to care about it's people. I'm one person dealing with a world full of struggles. Those previous things are nothing compared to what's to come, and I'm shocked that I'm rethinking my morals to live and feel safe. I'm a trans guy fresh on T, who, for years thought guns needed to be restricted, and i plan on strapping up over the break. Everything feels broken and I've been dealing with a lot of suicidality since probably late september or october. The horrors are persisting and I don't have much silly in response. I can't even scrape by with my job. And my physical health is catching up making things worse. I don't think I've thrown up this much since I was getting bullied in elementary school. So, uh, yeah.

Not to e-beg, but if you've read this and wanna help me out my venmo is in my bio. I don't have the energy to link anything rn but there's that.

Thanks for letting me rant o7

[bottombillyapologist]

why i've been offline

This is mostly just to vent, tbh, bc I know I'm not really a large enough voice online for my absence to be noted. but I feel there's some weird deep level of irony in my writing where I project my worries, fear, or trauma and then those things self realize in my life.

tw for talks of abuse (?) and weight ment.

In summary, Ive had a gap of a few years between high school graduation and college. Nearing the end of summer I was like. scared but hopeful? there were a lot of changes happening at once, I was supposed to move out and start a higher paying job and ofc start going to college. and due to reasons, I have heavily discounted tuition but I can afford dorming or a meal plan. but Back In The Day of the 2008 housing crisis my parents were going to lose our house so we moved in with my grandparents, and then the mortgage was forgiven, so my dad still owns that house, it was just empty (or mostly empty) for like 15 years. it had (and has) problems, but the plan was for us to fix it up over the course of 9 months and I move in when the semester starts bc it's like 15 mins from my school, and a lot just... happened. I bought a car and it died four months later, my brother's car died, my partner bought a car that never drove and then his next car died, so he had to buy a third car. my brother had bought his car on refunded tuition that it turned out he wasn't supposed to get (every friend INCLUDING ME told him not to spend the money because the amount was wrong and he did anyway, he also bought the car without consulting my dad, a hobby mechanic and got screwed) and he had to leave school for a semester and my dad had to bail him out and pay it back. We didn't have the money to fix the house and he didn't tell me, a habit he picked up from not being able to tell my mom anything without her breaking down.

So I was pulling 16+ hour days. I would work 4am-noon, drive to the house in my mom's car and work there 1pm-9pm, then drive home. A few times I got interrupted by errands or had other plans and was out of the house until 1 or 2 in the morning. I didn't do it every day, but 2-3 days a week I would if I had the car. We just got closer and closer to our deadline of the start of semester and I was in too deep to back out, not to mention I didn't want to back out because I couldn't wrap my head around continuing to live with my mom, driving 40+ minutes to school, working, and doing homework. All of my partner and I's stuff was in the house. The last thing we had to finish was hammering a new drain pipe in and sealing the wall back up, and that was already on my first day of orientation for the semester. I had already quit my job and started a new one 2 minutes from the house.

In hammering the pipe in, the other old pipes cracked and water started running down the walls in the first floor. We had to shut all the water off and my partner and I packed backpacks to go back home. First the pipes would be fixed in a few weeks, then a month, then whenever my dad had the money, now it's nearing finals and the plumber is ostensibly starting work next week, but we have to replace all the pipes and tear out the entire bathroom.

I have lived in my empty bedroom out of a backpack since. My little brother was supposed to get my room so he's sleeping in my parents bedroom. This is already long so I can't possible cover all the details but a) my mom is mentally ill and physically disabled, she is fine on her own if absolutely nothing goes wrong but if anything does she is incapable of solving the problem on her own and i am the default caregiver when my dad isn't home. she is explosive and can get physical with people or our pets, but she is incredible sweet and kind when not triggered. b) my family/parents are kind of hoarders. not trash or like... living in filth but every available space is full of stuff.

I had to quit my new job. my partner's new job fell through, so I had been stretching my last paycheck for like a month before I started borrowing money from my dad because I knew any money I asked for would just take it away from my younger brother or fixing the house. in the midst of this my second partner also broke up with me, we'd been growing apart due to a lack of time or attention on my part, which is on me to a point. My partner got a job a couple months ago. I finally got a new job like three weeks ago, I've been dealing with classes well but for a while I was living off the food pantry and emergency funds from my school. thankfully I am still medicated, but due to an insurance issue I didn't have my adhd meds or antidepressants for the first week of the semester. I've lost like 30lbs and I don't recognize my face anymore. I'm still finding happiness in the small things but it's hard to find the time or energy for creativity when I'm trying to figure out what possessions I have that I could sell so I can buy groceries or get my partner a christmas gift bc neither of us could afford to do anything for his birthday. idk. part of this is just a vent? the other is me laughing at the deep irony of using fanfiction as cathartic escapism. and being unable to get to the Good Healing part of the story bc apparently I'm designed as a being to be karmically punished. I planned to get back to writing some after finals, but I now have two jobs and I'm still trying to get out of the hole of not having a job for months. my first paycheck is already gone to house supplies and I guess I have to find a way to buy a space heater too bc the heat is off while the plumber works.

Idk. I don't vent to anyone in my real life because I don't want a pity fest. I feel privileged that I still have food and a place to live and I can go to college, I'm just pushing more and more to the upper limit of what I can do. I thought about doing art or writing commissions but I don't think it'd be enough money to justify the time I could be working on homework or working on the house, and i'm not sure I'd even have time with the two jobs. any money I have immediately goes to house stuff or some menial gifts and I feel like I'm being crushed by Guilt Of Being Alive from every angle.

[themuse-if]

20 (or so) Questions with Karla Reyes

Let's catch up with this recently heartbroken artist! Has she fallen into the depths of despair or will this just inspire a really good breakup mix?

Interviewer: Karla, thanks coming in for a more in depth chat. Let's start with your birthday – you're a Pisces, right?

Reyes: Yeah, that's correct. And my birthday is March 5th.

Interviewer: Any nicknames you go by?

Reyes: Nah, I like to keep it simple – just Karla.

Interviewer: Fair enough. What are some of your good traits?

Reyes: I'd say being laid-back is one of them. It helps me navigate life's twists and turns. Oh, and being approachable. People tend to feel at ease around me.

Interviewer: Admirable qualities indeed. And how about some challenging traits?

Reyes: Well, being too laid-back can sometimes come across as indifference. It's a fine line to balance.

Interviewer: It's all about finding that sweet spot. Any hobbies outside of your art?

Reyes: Music is a big part of my life. Currently saving up for a DJ setup – it's a part-time passion I'm looking to explore.

Interviewer: Exciting stuff. What’s your greatest strength?

Reyes: Versatility, for sure. I can seamlessly switch from one artistic medium to another, keeping things interesting and fresh.

Interviewer: Adaptability is a valuable asset. And your biggest weakness?

Reyes: Post-breakup, I've been avoiding places with memories. I guess you could say that I don't really like when things get complicated. It's a recent challenge, but I'm navigating it.

Interviewer: Understandable. Describe yourself in one word.

Reyes: Chill.

Interviewer: And how do you think others see you in one word?

Reyes: Approachable.

Interviewer: Moving on to fears. What’s your greatest fear?

Reyes: Losing my friends. I fear that my need to constantly be relaxed makes me avoid any and all tough situations. It's not that I don't want to be there for my friends, I just don't know how.

Interviewer: Valid concern. Top priorities at this point in your life?

Reyes: Healing and growing post-breakup, focusing on my art, and saving up for that DJ setup I've been eyeing. It's all about balance.

Interviewer: Family time – tell me more about yours.

Reyes: I actually grew up in the city. My parents run a Chilean bakery in Hell's Kitchen. They make mostly empanadas and sweets, and thank god they can cook since I can't survive in the kitchen. I have three siblings two older sisters, Zoe and Catalina, and my little brother Dante. My sisters moved to Miami and started their own boutique and my brother is in middle school. I think that coming from a full house everything was always super lively! *starts to get animated, talking with their hands* Some one was cooking, music was playing, we were dancing, there was always something going on. We're all really close so I look forward to when the holidays come around, and we all get together and either stay here in New York or visit extended family in Chile.

Interviewer: That sounds like a really fun way to grow up. Future goals – what's on your agenda?

Reyes: Becoming a skilled DJ, expanding my art, and finding that perfect balance between, and working on myself. I want to become better at dealing with conflict so that I can better pursue my ambitions.

Interviewer: Well-rounded ambitions. How would you spend a rainy day?

Reyes: Probably indoors, surrounded by my art supplies or creating some new mixes. Maybe haves some friends over, order takeout, and collaborate.

Interviewer: Favorite book?

Reyes: "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. The journey of self-discovery and following one's dreams – it resonates with me.

Interviewer: Powerful choice. And your favorite movie?

Reyes: "Amélie." The whimsical nature and artistic vibes in that film always captivate me.

Interviewer: Lovely. Any dark secrets?

Reyes: No dark secrets here.

Interviewer: Mmm, I bet. What would you say is your best physical feature?

Reyes: I really like the top half of my face. My eyebrows are super thick, the light brown color of my eyes, and my lashes are straight but pretty long.

Interviewer: I couldn't agree more. So, what about your least favorite feature?

Reyes: It depends on the day, but sometimes I wish I had a more defined cupids bow on my upper lip.

Interviewer: Lastly, how would you describe being in love?

Reyes: I'm honestly not sure if I can answer that question. In my last relationship everything felt right. They were my best friend and we had so much fun together but whenever things got weird or complicated I would just sort of shut down. I think that I need to figure myself out before I can really start thinking about love again.

Interviewer: Wow that's actually super mature of you, Karla. Thanks for sharing more about your life and aspirations. Excited to see your artistic journey unfold and your DJ dreams come to life!