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god-has-entered-my-body · 4 months

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If you're too shy // pt.2 - Matty Healy

A/N: shit banner because i've fallen off xx. Anyway this was written whilst listening to the arctic monkeys debut which is absolute SHIT by the way 0/10 i'd rather listen to margaret thatcher's sex tape thanks.

wc: 4k

content warnings: literally nothing happens its a bit said, body writing, teasing, begging, sub!Matty being pathetic as per use, cliffhanger because the google doc told me to

They say feeling diminishes over time, sensations are lost to memories, forgotten. What Matty was experiencing couldn’t be further from the truth. Hazy daydreams inhabit his every waking thought, dreams only more and more vivid as time passed. Time didn't diminish the feeling of your hands on him, hot skin against his. It only intensified it, a certain sense of longing plaguing him. Longing for you.

It’s an out of body experience, being in your presence. Your knowing glances when your eyes meet, an expression on your face only he can truly decipher. Matty dreams of you, so graphically that it leaves him panting in his bed, shaking hands running through unbrushed curls as he tries to collect himself, tries to push it down.

But his hands cant help but wander, tracing over where you had touched him, goosebumps spreading onto his skin as the scene plays back in his mind. You, above him, forcing him down onto the floor. The way his knees ached at the harsh pressure of the linoleum floor. Your fingers dragging past his parted lips, pressing down onto his tongue, relishing in the sounds that escaped him. The small glimpse of your skin, the dark lace against your thigh a constant reminder of what could've been. What could still be.

He doesn't know what you’re thinking, even if he yearns for your thoughts. You won't speak to him, you haven't since that day. It's painful, watching you live on like nothing had passed between the two of you, the only communication being a small, unassuming look, a brush of the hand. Nothing more, nothing less.

This lesson is no different, loud chatter filling the space as the class gets into groups, working on some assignment. Matty sits on his desk, feet scuffing the seat of his chair as Ross gestures at his latest hookup, staring at him from across the room. You vaguely recognise her from a few of your other classes. She’s meek and quiet, bordering on pushover with the way she lets her friends walk all over her, but quite kind overall.

His voice is loud, booming through the classroom as he laughs and jokes, refusing to pay any attention to the assignment despite the teacher's numerous attempts to get him to focus. His presence is altered in your eyes, different. The thing that had passed between the two of you can't be ignored just so, and you know he feels it too, his eyes boring a hole into the back of your head. It's when you unexpectedly turn around that his breath hitches, stuttering over a simple sentence. His little mistake going seemingly unnoticed, Ross keeps speaking, leaving Matty to stare at you, eyes darting all over your face, trying to read your expression.

You remain neutral, raising your eyebrows at him in a sort of silent question. Matty cocks his head in turn, almost like a challenge, deep brown eyes narrowing slightly. The scrape of that chair against the floor is piercing, though no one around you pays it any mind. Bending over the desk, back facing him, a piece of paper is ripped out of your fairly expensive notebook, the scratch of pen against it oddly satisfying, your handwriting forming loopy, inky blue letters. Your fingers feel over the writing, the dips where your pen indented that simple message feel rough against your skin.

People crowd the room, making it difficult to maneuver through it, bags hitting against your feet wherever you stepped. Muttering quiet excuses, your hand clutches the piece of paper, almost like it would disappear if it wasn't for your grip. Matty’s eyes follow you, intrigued, raking up your bare legs as you walk in his direction, staring him down.

To anyone else, nothing seems out of the ordinary in the way that you accidentally bump against the edge of the desk he’s sitting on, your right hand grabbing on to it for stability as you apologize to no one in particular. Only Matty sees the white, neatly folded note you had left right next to his hip, tucking it under a book you knew he never used. He shivers as your fingers make contact with his belt, something he wouldn't have even noticed if it wasn't your touch.

The whole world slows down as he snatches it from under the textbook, unengaged enough in the conversation at this point that he could turn his body away from the group unnoticed, unfolding the note. His heart speeds up as he immediately recognises your handwriting, eyes over scanning the words.

His body moves instinctively, getting up from his spot on the wooden desk, creaking slightly as a girl's voice asks where he’s going.

“Bathroom.” he mutters under his breath, his vague answer raising a few suspicions. The group's attention is quickly turned to the teacher standing a few feet away, sternly telling them off. Matty manages to slip away. You disappear out the door just as he looks up from the note, his feet carrying him after you.

6th period is always quiet, an atmosphere of calm falling over the school building as the light streamed in from the high windows, still most of the corridor fairly dark. Blue lockers adorned the walls, dented and damaged from decades of use by previous generations of students. The echo of your shoes against the floor fill Mattys ears, the sound only adding to the anticipation already coursing through his veins.

His mind races with jumbled thoughts, questions upon questions being asked. Where were you going? What were you going to do?

No, what were you going to do to him? A shaky exhale from Matty is loud in the silence of the hall, his fists clenching and unclenching at his ideas as he walks after you, keeping a few paces behind. You don't even stop to glance over your shoulder, almost like you knew he would follow you, not a single doubt in your mind. Matty realizes this, and it only makes him even more desperate for you to just acknowledge him, a slight turn, a look, anything.

The few moments you lead him feel like hours, your eyes darting past doors and full classrooms until you stop in your tracks, hearing the scuffle of Matty’s trainers as he stops behind you, unmoving. The door creaks as you twist the doorknob, an empty, darkened room greeting you. The air is cold, dust particles fly through it as you step inside, letting the door start to fall shut behind you. Matty runs in just as it's about to close, holding his palm flat against the wood, lips parting when his eyes finally land on you.

The note is warm in his hand as he recalls what he had read on the page, three simple words sending him into a spiral of all-consuming emotions.

‘Don’t be obvious.’

No context was given, none was needed. Matty knew exactly what you meant.

“Why are you here?” his voice comes out shaky and unsteady, meek. Unlike him. He knows the question sounds stupid, evident in the smug grin that spreads onto your face as the door falls shut behind him. Finally facing him, you lean against a desk, arms reached behind you, holding you up.

“Could ask the same for you.” you speak slowly, your inflection almost making you seem bored. Your hair occupies you as you twirl it around, eventually brushing it out of your face entirely. Matty takes a timid step forward, holding the now unfolded piece of paper up between two fingers, the ink now slightly smudged.

“You left me a note.” “I know.” Your response is quick, direct. Matty’s eyes are glazed over, the sight oh-so familiar.

Memories from that day rush through you, your body responding involuntarily. You can still feel his hands caressing your things, hiking your skirt up further, further, until he finally saw what he wanted. His mouth around your fingers, tongue lapping at your fingertips, eye contact remaining unbroken. The thought makes your head spin, a barely there blush creeping onto your cheeks.

“Why?” you tut at him, getting up and standing straight as he continues slowly walking over to you, his hair falling over his face in the same way it did when he was knelt in front of you, looking up with those adoring eyes of his.

“You didn't really listen to me, hm?” Matty perks up at your statement, slightly confused. You run a finger up his arm, feeling goosebumps erupt on his skin. He twitches, his whole body reacting to your touch.

“I mean you weren't, were you? Not-obvious, I mean.” You watch as it finally clicks in his head. The note.

‘Don't be obvious.’

He had tried to not be, his half-hearted attempts at keeping his distance proving rather difficult as instinct took over him, not caring what he was ‘supposed’ to do.

You huff at his lack of response as he just stands there, looming above you. You aren't tall, not by a long shot, but somehow your difference in height doesn't play a role in the way he molds to your words, like putty in your hands.

“What do you want?” you scoff in his face, rolling your eyes. Your nails graze against his upper arm before pulling away completely. Matty watches as you circle around him slowly, like a predator watching prey, your gaze making every survival instinct dissipate.

“That's quite the loaded question, don't you think?” Matty nods in response, automatically. You watch him for a few moments as he lets the note drop to the floor. His breathing is unsteady as you get closer with every step, his body moving to keep facing you until his back hits the same wooden desk you had been leaning on.

“Are you nervous?” Matty clears his throat before answering, caught off-guard by your sudden question.

“What gives you that impression?”

You gesture downwards with your eyes, and he follows, growing red as he realizes what you meant. His untucked shirt is crumpled in his hands, fingers toying with the buttons as he mindlessly twists them around and ‘round, pulling at the fabric.

“That.”

Matty ceases his movements, his hands now glued to his side as you eye him up and down. The top three buttons on his shirt are undone, revealing his collarbones and neck, skin smooth and milky as your first instinct is to reach out and touch him.

“Do I make you nervous?” your voice cracks a bit towards the end, the illusion of calmness, of indifference, faltering. Matty just stares at you, his heart beating at a thousand miles an hour as you take a step closer, effectively pinning him against the desk. Now, he could easily push you away, putting distance between your bodies. But he doesn't. He doesn't want to.

“Answer me.”

A beat of silence.

“No, you don’t.”

You tut again, shaking your head in disappointment. Matty squirms under your touch as you trail your hand up his chest, popping a four button as you speak.

“I never took you for a liar, Matthew.” The condescension coating your words makes his eyes widen, looking down at you with a wanton look on his face, silently begging.

You reach down with your free hand, looping your fingers through his belt loops. Rather violently, you pull him towards you, pressing your bodies flush against each other. Matty’s reaction is delicious, a whimper spilling from his lips, the proximity making him hazy, wanting only one, single thing.

“D’you want me to kiss you?” you coo, your faces dangerously close as you tease him, his curls threading through your fingers as he nods vigorously, absolutely shameless.

“Please.” it’s high pitched, the word, only adding to the growing heat between your legs. Your knees feel weak as he reacts to you, eyes wide and rapidly blinking, darting from your lips back up to meet yours.

“How do I know you’re not lying to me again?” it’s mean, you know it is, but you cant help yourself. His horrified expression only feeds into your taunts, a grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. You read him well, perfectly predicting the way you knew he was going to try to bring your lips together, impatient as ever.

His attempt is futile, your tight grip in his hair pulling him back, the sharp pain making him cry out.

“Ah, not so fast sweetheart.” his tongue darts out to wet his lips, not daring to move further. His breath hitches audibly as you skifully unbutton the rest of his shirt, his eyes never leaving your face even as you look down.

“I thought you were going to be good for me, what happened?” you say, the dissatisfaction evident in your voice. Matty stutters out an apology, tripping over his words as the sensation of your hand against his chest becomes too much at once, too hot.

He shudders as you feel him up, hand running through his hair to ground himself, hyper aware of the unlocked door of the classroom you’re currently in. His shirt fully unbuttoned, you take a small step back, eyes raking over his body, taking in the sight before you.

“Don’t stop– please– I want you.”

“Then be still.” Matty nods in response, shifting around until he finally sits on top of the desk, feet dangling slightly off the edge.

“So obedient now, what changed?” Your hands feeling around the pockets of your skirt, smiling when they come upon exactly what you were hoping to find.

“I-” Matty cuts himself off, words getting caught in the base of his throat. His voice is low, raspy as he tries to answer, but your fluid movements distract him too much.

“Go on, speak.” your tone is assertive, commanding even, only disorienting him more. Matty doesn't know what to feel, how to react. But what he does know is how to keep this from stopping. He doesn't ever want it to stop.

“You’re so pretty.”

He knows he sounds pathetic, but it's all he can muster, every fiber of his being telling him to lunge forward, smash his lips against yours, feel you against him.

“Well, sweetheart.” you giggle, pulling out a small object from the depths of your pockets, running your fingers over the cool metal. “Flattery gets you everywhere.”

A sigh of relief leaves Matty as your hands make contact with his neck, the feeling of your touch driving him insane. He arches into you, his chest pressing against yours as you linger, a thousand fantasies rushing through both your minds.

A high-pitched whine rips itself from Matty as your lips press against the hollow of his throat, biting into the skin harshly. Nipping at his neck, you relish in the noises he makes, his eyes screwing shut as you run your tongue over his collarbones, coating the skin in your spit.

The small click of a lipstick tube uncapping is deafening, his eyes immediately snapping the source of the noise. You grin at his reaction, hands gripping the edge of the desk he was sitting on so hard, you could see his knuckles turning white.

“What are you–” Matty starts, his body flushed the same shade of red as the product in your hand, complimenting it perfectly.

You shush him quickly as he looks at you and then the lipstick, his bottom lip bitten raw.

“I didn’t really know what this was at first, you know.” you speak, twisting the base of the lipstick, slowly revealing more and more of the ruby red. Matty’s full attention is on you, his chest moving up and down rapidly, trying to calm himself down. His watery eyes only spur you on, small pants leaving his lips as you resume your feather light touches, never giving him exactly what he wanted.

“You’re so responsive, I barely have to touch you.” you watch as he writhes under you, still taller despite being sat down. It didn't make a difference, the power he so willingly handed over to you making it all disappear.

“You’d let me do anything to you.”

It isn't even a question but a statement, because you know, and so does Matty. Sweat glistens on his bare chest, reflecting the little light in the room, making him appear to be glowing. You don't know how long you’ve been in that classroom, and frankly, you couldn’t care less.

“Please, I can't do this anymore. Fuckk– just touch me, properly, please.”

His words lick pleasure up your spine and you let him beg more, a small, cruel part of you wanting to prolong this even further. Knowing you couldn't, and that your teacher was most definitely noticing your prolonged absence, you sigh loudly, cupping his face with one hand, a sickly sweet smile making Matty’s head spin.

“If you even try moving, I’ll stop.”

Matty expects you to put your hands on him, run them over his body, maybe make him kneel again. He expects you to finally kiss him, feel your tongue against his as you take over him completely, barely letting him breathe.

What he doesn't expect is for you to drop to your knees in front of him.

The tip of the lipstick against his skin is cool, the product smearing over his stomach. Matty doesn't know how to react, his eyes peering down to get a clear glimpse of what you’re doing, not daring to move. He sees the distinct pattern of letters, the word you’re writing indiscernible from his angle.

“Perfect.”

You mutter as you watch the color glide over his skin, the contrast of red against it making your heart beat faster, hand shaking slightly. He can't control the small twitches of his body as you hold onto his thigh for stability, adding a small heart at the end of your little masterpiece. A single word.

Pushing yourself off the floor, Matty tried to make out the writing on his body, failing miserably. Your phone is heavy in your hand as you swipe right, opening your camera app. He isn't paying attention to you at all, watching in awe how the red on his stomach beautifully stands out, running a finger over it lightly.

“Smile.” you grin, his eyes snapping up to meet yours just in time for the camera to flash.

He looks breathtaking, shirt unbuttoned, his hair messily falling into his face. The flash darkens the background behind him, making him the sole focus of the picture. You admire him for a few moments, a fond smile spreading onto your face. He looks utterly fucked out, despite your touches being barely-therea at best, it was enough.

It’s only then that you finally kiss him, hand wrapping around the base of his neck as you lick into his mouth, greedily drinking in his soft moans of surprise. Matty’s hands find your lower back, moving up and down your sides before finally settling onto your waist, gripping it tightly.

The kiss is hot, desperate as Matty’s back arches, your other hand finding its place on his shoulder. The feeling of his hands on your waist shoots straight to your core, your thighs pressing together in an attempt to relieve some of that aching pressure.

You’re first to pull away, lungs burning for air. Fingers raking through his hair, you take your phone back out, flashing the screen at him. His eyes widen at the image of him, the word you had painted onto him clearly visible.

‘Sweetheart’ adorned the tensed muscles of his stomach, a small heart placed right after the word, your handwriting easily recognisable. Your fingers ghost over the writing, smudging the heart slightly, bringing it up to his lips.

Matty parts them instinctively, letting you brush the color onto his bitten and bruised lips, faintly red. The sight makes you stop dead in your tracks, and you suck in a deep breath.

“I think you look gorgeous, don't you think?” you whisper into his ear, taking his earlobe between your teeth as you lightly bite down, greatly enjoying the choked gasp that leaves him. Matty is speechless, eyes glued to the screen now in his hands.

“We’ve been gone an awfully long time,” you breathe, gesturing at the clock that hung above the rusty chalkboard at the front of the classroom. “Better get back.”

Matty grabs onto you in protest, almost letting your phone drop onto the floor.

“Please, I can't–” you cut him off again, pressing a finger to his lips in a condescending manner, watching the look of hope vanish from his face.

“School is actually rather important to me, I can't have my grades dropping.” your words sound oddly sincere as you toy with the bottom of Matty’s shirt, slowly doing up the buttons again. The red disappears behind the crisp black fabric, completely unnoticeable to anyone else but the two of you. Your little secret.

Matty wants to argue, but he knows better than to contradict you, instead letting you fix him up. Your hands brush his hair out of his face, flushed an adorable shade of pink, making you smile. You even fix his collar for him, making sure it wasn't flipped up or open, your lingering fingers tracing his jawline tenderly.

“How else am I meant to tutor you if I don't know the material?”

Your words pierce through Matty’s thoughts, bringing him back down to earth. It wasn't just a statement, but a promise. Promise of more of whatever this was, a glimmer of hope returning to him. He wanted this more than fucking anything, even if your constant, deliberate, teasing drove him mad.

“Come to mine on Wednesday, i’ll show you how to do the assignment.” The way you speak is so casual, so normal, like nothing had just happened. Matty wonders if it had all been a weird, messed up daydream, but the phone in his hand proved him wrong. He hands the phone to you timidly, not wanting to let go of that moment.

Straightening out your own clothes, you take it from him, tucking it away in your pocket. Matty wants to reach out, touch you, feel you again. He stops himself, your back now turned as you walk away, hand resting on the doorknob.

You glance over your shoulder before you open the door, shooting him a tantalizing grin.

“Don’t miss me too much, sweetheart.''

The pet name does something to him he can't describe, a floaty, disorienting cloud falling over his thoughts. Matty’s blush returns, his face hot.

Wednesday. He keeps repeating the sentence in his mind.

‘Don't miss me too much, sweetheart’

How cant, not when you leave him like this, desperate and wanting nothing more than any little bit you’d give him, every touch like pure ecstasy.

Five days.

Five incredibly long days.

One hundred and twenty hours until he finally sees the inside of your bedroom, until youre finally, finally alone.

Matty lets his fingers trace the word over the material of his shirt, heart pounding in his chest. The shrill ring of the bell is muted as he replays the scene in his mind, over and over again. Your hand on his thigh, kneeling in front of him. The lipstick against his skin, the bright flash of your phone.

Wednesday can't come any faster, but he still wishes it would.

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bisupergirl · 2 months

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oh sorry, also are there any comics i should avoid completely because the gp recognises them as being completely ooc or just not a sensical comic for supergirl?

and i was thinking of collecting the series of graphic novels that start with supergirl vol 1 - reign of the cyborg supermen. is that a good comic run? i have no clue when it comes to kara haha.

also, one last thing i promise! what is kara's true personality? like as kara danvers but also as supergirl. do they contrast each other? is she a geek or is she still just as powerful but in different ways when she's kara not sg? if that makes sense

again im so sorry for all the questions, kara is a character that really intruiges me and i really want to know the canon version of her. (unfortunately i loved the cw version of her, no matter what any one says) but i know that's nkt exactly correct.

im so sorry if ive bothered you, and i will be eternally greatful if you manage to answer my questions. thank you so much!

YES THERE ARE. Anything you see written by either Jeph Loeb or Joe Kelly should be avoided at all costs. This includes Superman/Batman (2003) #8-13 and Supergirl (2005) #0-19. Basically anything written between the years 2004 through 2007 should be avoided like the plague. The early 2000s was truly an evil era for Kara... she was oversexualized to hell and back and really didn't have any sort of characterization beyond "sexy teenager". The only thing that I think is somewhat worth reading from those years is Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes (2004) #16-36, but even that isn't super necessary if you don't want to slog through it just for her.

Aside from that.... this is just my controversial opinion, but I REALLY dislike everything Mariko Tamaki has written for Kara. This includes Supergirl: Being Super (2017) and the Supergirl Special (2023). I've just found that she has a very boring and uninspired take on Kara... Nothing she's written gives off the vibe that she's actually read any of Kara's comics. Being Super specifically irks me because it's literally just "what if Kara... was Clark!", and that's just not remotely interesting to me... Obviously nothing she's written is on par with the truly heinous shit that Loeb and Kelly were doing with Kara, so I don't want it to seem like I'm putting them on the same level! A lot of people DO like her Supergirl comics, I'm just not one of them.

Steve Orlando's run of Supergirl (2016)—which includes Reign of the Cyborg Supermen—was written specifically to appeal to fans of the CW show, so I imagine that if you like CW Supergirl, you'll also probably like that comic. I don't necessarily want to say that you shouldn't read it (since you like CWSG), but it's not something I recommend since the way that Kara's characterized there is quite different than any other comic version of her—past or present. If you do want to read something from Supergirl (2016) I recommend Marc Andreyko's run! It's spans from #21 to #36 (although I don't suggest reading past #33) and is collected in Supergirl vol. 1: Killers of Krypton and Supergirl vol. 2: Sins of the Circle.

As for her personality:

Kara is very headstrong and stubborn—she doesn't back down from her beliefs even if it means coming into conflict with her authority figures (like Clark, her mother, her employers, etc.).

She's also incredibly compassionate and protective—even in her early days as Supergirl when humans would reject her, she wasn't directly scornful of them and she'd still go out of her way to use her powers to keep them safe.

Relating to that, she's also very empathetic—there's been multiple storylines where Kara sees herself and her experience in the person she's helping, and it inspires her to do whatever she can to help them.

She's often driven by her anger and devastation of what happened to Krypton. The fury and nearly inconsolable despair that she feels for the mass death that was caused by Krypton's destruction is such a huge driving force for everything she does.

In regards to her interests: they change pretty frequently between continuities, but Pre and Post Crisis Kara was depicted as being very artistic in a lot of different areas! Kara used to have a passion for acting: she went to drama school, starred in two films, and went on to star in a soap opera. She was also very into fashion and used to wear so many cute outfits :'). Additionally, in Post Crisis continuity, she was a painter and even contemplated joining the Art Guild on New Krypton just like her father did. Recently she hasn't been shown to be that artistic and instead has an interest in history (Kryptonian history, that is). Before Krypton's destruction she was invited to study at the Society of Historical Science, and she actually preferred history to applied science. She does have a lot of scientific understanding (both because she's apart of the House of El and because Krypton is so scientifically advanced), but I've always loved that she's shown a consistent interest in the humanities rather than science!

As a quick aside, Kara has had a couple different human identities over the years: she was Linda Lee Danvers (sometimes just referred to as Linda Danvers) during Pre Crisis continuity, and that was her most fleshed out and meaningful identity imo since it lasted for around 26 years. During Post Crisis she briefly went by Linda Lang, and then in the Rebirth continuity she'd go by Kara Danvers to match the CW show. All that to say, she really doesn't differ that much in personality when she's in her human identity than when she's Supergirl! Aside from pretending that she doesn't have powers, she's still just as incredibly headstrong and compassionate and protective when she's [insert human ID here] as she is when she's Supergirl.

Okay now I'm just going to drop a few reading guides / comic recommendations that I've made here if you're interested!

Ultimate Supergirl Reading Guide Supergirl Storyline Recommendations Pre Crisis Supergirl Recommendations

#asks #kara zor el #i already said this in my last answer but i promise asking me about supergirl doesn't bother me at all!#i love yapping about her <3

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some-murmurings · 5 months

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i'm happy that video essays are a popular format on youtube now. i've loved the genre for years and, with care, it's a reliable source of accessible education.

that said, the popularity of video essays on youtube makes me feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears. it is so easy to immediately tell when an author has no actual investment in the genre and sees it merely as a vehicle for #Content™️©️®️

There are three basic qualities I see suffering the most for this

1. Length

I see so many of these newer channels pumping out 8 hour pieces that are closer to exhaustive book reports then they are tight, well written examinations of something and, while I LOVE the diversity inherent to the video essay format, this is a terrible way to explore a topic. It's boring, lame, and extremely profitable.

Quinton Reviews is a good example; I like his work occasionally, his recent thing on Dan Schneider was genuinely pretty good. It did still suffer from the resulting pacing sickness from overloading on information and underloading on composition & organization. Wendigoon is an even better example. Most "iceberg" style vids also are (not u jan misali. never u.)

Also, there's no defined rule for the length of a video essay. They can be 5 minutes long or 5 hours, flash fiction or a full-bodied thesis. Shots of tequila or a whole bottle of wine can both get you drunk.

2. Pacing

Obviously related to length but this is another problem; video essayists have always struggled with this and it got worse recently anyways.

A lot of that "information overload" is to blame. It's important that, when researching, YOU come to a strong, nuanced understanding of a topic through disparate sources. It is, by nature of the format and genre, an extremely bad idea to try and make your audience learn the information the same way.

We don't need a thousand sources spread across several dozen sentences, we want the 3-4 (max) best sources on a given subtopic concisely synthesized into a coherent idea.

Use music, jokes and relevant graphics to make this information as engaging and interpretable as possible without sacrificing accuracy. It's okay to abridge and note that you were, in fact, abridging. We don't need to know every detail about every single thing loosely related to the topic.

Dan Olson from "Folding Ideas" is a good example of this. His script writing and camera work does an extremely good job of creating effective flow with an appropriate amount of detail & nuance. So, pacing, basically.

3. Topic

U can tell some of these jamokes don't give a fuck or shit about the thing they're discussing. Worse still when it's some inane internet drama they're recounting like its "news."

To be clear: the best video essays are OFTEN on topics you have no previous interest in. Roblox_oof.wav by HBomberguy is an easy example. This shit is a complete mess thematically but, because the author engages deeply and effectively with the topic, it literally doesn't matter. It's an insanely good video you should spend all 2 & 1/2 hours in rn. Go. Watch it.

Nor is internet drama a bad topic to cover. You're allowed, encouraged really, to discuss the weird bullshit people do to each other but like... this is closer to a soap opera than it is a national news headline. Looking at you, "Turkey Tom" or whatever the fuck your name is.

There's something to be said, too, for how quick people are to make an essay about a still moving situation. I know the algorithm is an insatiable maw of content hunger but, counterpoint, ONLY MAKE A VIDEO WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED. If there's reasonable suspicion stuff isn't done, SHUT THE FUCK UP. It's okay if you misjudge a timeline here or there, you're allowed to admit fault and correct yourself, but, like, cmon.

Also something to be said about how quick so many essayists have ALWAYS been to talk about someone else's business without permission, particularly intimate partner violence.

4. Style/Presentation

Video essays are an extremely novel format, particularly for education, so there's a genuine debt of easy-to-adopt styles. And, because of the recent growth, there are a lot of new people entering the space with very little experience in it.

That said, the next time I hear that fucking "influencer cadence" I'm gonna EXPLODE. You know the one, they slow down towards the end of a sentence to lend "gravitas" and overarticulate every. single. word. to, idk, build credibility?

It's shallow and obnoxious and I hate it. Nothing makes me skip a video faster than a boring intro & a predictable cadence. Be honest about the way you speak. If you struggle to create rhythm & flow with your voice, use music! Seriously, music sampling is a super valid method, most indie artists would be JAZZED to have their stuff in parts of their video. A lot of orchestral stuff is in the public domain, especially a lot of famous "classical" works. Put Beethoven's 5th in your video about potato farming in russia, God might not be real and if she is she'd ALSO think it's funny.

Another problem: predictable cuts & generally uninspired editing. I know editing is a pain in the ass but, like, it IS still a creative process. You do have space to do interesting stuff here and, if you can't focus for that long, literally just make a shorter video.

It's okay if 95% of your transitions are purely functional, the trick is to make those 5% REALLY silly to keep your audience on their toes.

5. Tone

You don't need to be "an authority" on a topic to make a good essay about it. It helps but, as long as you're clear & honest about the limits of your understanding and you've done your due diligence, you almost certainly will be fine to talk about anything you want.

If you want to build credibility quickly, consider starting with disambiguation instead of dry recitation. Dates matter less to me than actually understanding a topic better. Even better if you come across like another autistic person infodumping about whales or w/e.

I'd keep going but my phone's gonna die. U get the gist. Lots of format problems that algorithm-brain is exacerbating.

#youtube #video essay #hbomberguy #still hate tagging posts

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blorbosdotcom · 3 months

Text

roleplay request?

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

I know I've been advertising my RP server for Sam & Max quite a bit, but I'm also open for 1x1 roleplaying! I'll be putting my information under the cut, so feel free to message me AFTER reading it over if you'd be interested in RP!

── ✩ ──

.. Basic Information ..

STATUS:

Open (1/3.)

Disclaimers/notices:

As I am 18+, I do not roleplay with minors. I am just not comfortable with it whatsoever especially since the genres I tend to write.

I try to keep my portrayals close to canon, though I do tend to add my own personal flare to them as well. If you do something similar/have headcanons about the canon you're portraying, please reach out! I think adding to characters just makes things more fun.

In all honesty, I mainly just rolelplay Freelance Husbands. Nothing much with OCs or focus on characters outside of the pair. Well, aside from when I do JURGEN focused stuff, usually shipping him with Superball.

If you don't reply to me without notice after a week or so, I will close our DM. If you need a break/want to end RP, just tell me. I know how it is. But ghosting is just not cool.

I roleplay over discord, exclusively.

── ✩ ──

Formatting.

I write in a third person, semi to literate format. I typically write three paragraphs as a minimum and expect partners to match my length. Often I write more like 3-5+ paragraphs, it just depends on my muse and what's going on in the roleplay. In order to be my RP partner, I do require an example of your writing. I can send one back as well. This is simply a measure to ensure we both vibe with each other’s styles before getting into roleplay!

── ✩ ──

Timezones and availability.

I will not always be available as I am an adult with a significant other, work and other responsibilities. Please respect that and don't spam me for replies. If I have an event coming up I will try to keep you informed + hope you'd do the same. I live in Central Time.

── ✩ ──

Limits.

Non-con, ageplay, p3dophilia and that other nasty stuff. I don't mind writing heavier topics, but going into graphic details with things such as Eating Disorders and Self-H@rm is too much. No other specific triggers come to my mind, but I will be sure to tell you if something makes me uncomfortable.

── ✩ ──

Types of roleplay.

Admittedly my primary interest in roleplaying is shipping. I tend to get bored with platonic roleplays. I am a sucker for a good hurt/comfort! Some genres I enjoy are angst, thriller and AUs of all kinds. I do not roleplay unless there is a plot, either. I do love brainstorming them together+hearing your ideas, and I also have some ideas already. I will add I tend to go hardcore into angst at times so if that isn't for you, I may not be the best fit for roleplaying. That being said, a good fluff or other genre can be just as fun. It really depends. I do ERP as well, but only if there's a plot involved. I can't get invested otherwise. DM me for more ERP specifics.

── ✩ ──

Muses.

Max the Lagomorph.

You know him, you love him - the rabbity thing ever.

Jurgen the Vampire.

The guy ever.

I can do other characters as side characters, as well!

── ✩ ──

Ships.

Freelance Husbands (obviously)

Jurgen x Superball (my guilty pleasure)

Jurgen x Papierwaite (I saw the light)

── ✩ ──

Extra.

If you've made it this far, congratulations. Feel free to message me with any other questions I haven't answered in post, and of course - if you're looking to roleplay. Cheers!

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

#rp #freelance husbands #roleplay #open rp #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam and max freelance husbands #sam and max rp #sam and max roleplay #1x1 rp #furry rp #literate rp #sam & max #agent superball #anton papierwaite #papierwaite x jurgen #jurgenwaite

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cjariot · 2 years

Text

Do you love me still?

(a/n: this is my first time writing a story. please bear with me.) recommend listening: shut up my moms calling- hotel ugly

dividers by @firefly-graphics

y/n’s pov

Lately, I've been feeling a little lonely because, well, I've been alone. sure i go out and hang with my friends but it doesn't feel the same coming home to an empty house. It's kinda draining. shuri and riri, they barely call me, or even come home for that matter, and when they do it's always late and i’m asleep. So today I'm gonna go down to the lab and confront them about it, because I'm sick and tired and I just wanna get it over with. “Griot, do not alert Shuri and Riri about my arrival, please?” i say to the a.i “Sure thing ms. l/n”

shuri’s pov

me and riri were working on an upgrade to not only my Black Panther suit and her Ironheart suit. We were helping each other with one another's suits, when I heard a loud clang which was unusual because we were the only two in there. I went to check out the sound, “Girl don’t go investigating, that’s literally how every horror movie starts!” Riri whisper-yelled “Would you be quiet? Who's there?!” “It’s me, y/n!” Once I heard the quiet voice, I sighed, “What are you doing here? And why didn’t Griot alert me?” “I told him not to. I came here because I felt a little.. neglected.. and i came here to ask you guys something.” “Well what is it?” Riri said, she and I walking back to what we were doing.

y/n’s pov

they didn’t even come to hug me or kiss me, they just went back to what they were doing, “am i annoying?” i thought to myself, “no, wait I barely see them how can i be?” all of these thoughts circle in my mind as my breath becomes shaky as I'm about to ask the question, tears welling in my eyes blurring my vision, making it hard to see. “Do.. do you guys love me still?” my tears fell and I let out a sob feeling hurt.

riri’s pov

me and shuri both immediately stop what we’re doing and run towards her “of course we do, what makes you say that, baby?” “it’s just that, it’s that you guys have been, like not speaking to me. are you tired of me? because if so, I can leave, i promise there won’t be any hard feelings. just.. just let me know.” y/n says as a few tears fall “oh, my love don’t leave, stay, please we love you. we’d never want you to leave, we’ve been… busy with the suits upgrades and we just lost track of time. i promise we love you oh so much.” shuri replies with sincerity. “Yeah babygirl, i promise we don’t find you annoying when you come down here and make sure we’re alright and properly fed.” i say reassuring her. “please, just come home, I miss you guys. it’s so lonely with out you guys, please i really wanna be close to you both.” Shuri and I both nod and walk toward her and give her a hug and a passionate kiss. “we can go home and watch a couple of movies and eat, i’ll admit i’m kinda hungry, we can order out sweetheart.” I say, easing her mind.

at their home

omniscient pov

“hey my love, what would you like to watch?” shuri asks y/n “oh we should watch the addams family, its so good!!” y/n responds excitedly. riri returns with the takeout and places it onto the table and squeezes on the couch next to y/n and shuri and grabs the food for them eat. shuri plays the movie once they start eating, shuri begins to speak, her mouth full “why dyou like this so much? its literally about two emos having emo kids— mm, it’s so boring actually.” “mon amor, you have to stop talking with your mouth full, we can’t understand you.” y/n responds, to which shuri holds up one singular finger as a way to say ‘one moment’. She swallowed her food and she repeated what she had said previously, “i said why do you like this so much? it’s literally about two emos having emo kids, it’s pretty boring.” instead of y/n responding riri does, “it’s really not that bad actually, i like seeing two weirdos embracing their weirdness with eachother, it’s cool!” “see, riri gets it, its pretty interesting, c’mon it’ll grow on you.” y/n turns around to shuri, to see that she was already looking at her, staring intently, intrigued. “what is there something on my face?” she wiped at her face in confusion “no, my love, it’s just that i love you, both of you! i love the you guys’ faces light up when you talk about something you like, it’s adorable!” “awh, shuri, we love you too, baby.”

#shuri x reader #riri williams x reader #shuri x black!reader #riri williams x black!reader #shuriri x reader #shuriri

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ax-writes · 10 months

Text

chapter 2

in which- wilbur is acting awfully weird, and his bestfriend, tommy, isn't helping

chapter info- uncertainty, worrying, tommy being a shithead, anxiety, graphic descriptions of clothing /j, bittersweet maybe, nervousness, overthinking, more so thoughts

a/n- lmao, sorry this took so long to come out. i've been hella busy with school and assignments but now i have seven weeks to do whatever so many more cool things are gonna happen

pronouns- you/yours

masterlist-

months had passed since that short meet at the tube, but you’d seen him more at least. you’d gotten to know him better, you got to meet some of his friends, and him meeting some of yours. you knew each other better than you’d ever known anyone and you felt like you were finally getting somewhere in this friendship.

you’d organised with him to meet at his flat, and he’d let you know that his friend, tommy, would be over, so you were expecting a very loud child to run at you when you opened the door. however, that was not the case. instead, all you heard was wilbur and tommy in presumably wilbur’s room talking. very loudly, may i add.

“i feel like they’d murder me, ya know? which is what makes them so… i don’t know, attractive?” wilbur’s voice rang through the apartment, and your heart dropped. why were you suddenly so jealous over an unknown person.

“you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” tommy laughed, and made his way towards the door, causing wilbur to catch your gaze. his door was slightly ajar and all he felt was fear of what and how much you had heard

“wait wait… tommy don’t go and tell them that!” wilbur begged. God, he was scared of a girl he’d met on the tube line. he’s a fucking mess over someone he’s known for close to two months.

“you literally called them a three course meal plus dessert. you have never talked about anyone like that. not even your ex! you have to tell them!” tommy whisper-shouted, gaining your attention.

you’re sat on the sofa at this point, having kicked off your shoes and shrugged your jacket off at the door, waiting for the two males to emerge from wilbur’s bedroom. there was banter and chatting and overall just wilbur pleading and tommy forcing him to say something. if you had a say, it was unfair. a boy younger than the man forcing him to go tell you that he has feelings for someone, but him begging to not have to tell you.

‘strange’

but now, you had a very tall man in front of you, a shy smile on his face. he resembled a sad puppy more than he actually resembled a grown man.

‘weird’

and a younger blonde boy behind him, grinning widely, poking at the poor man’s back.

‘what is going on’

“get coffee with me tomorrow, 10am, at the cafe down the road” and that’s all that was muttered throughout the night, some marvel movie now playing per tommy’s request. and both you and wilbur couldn’t be bothered paying attention to the movie, too caught up in your own thoughts, which seemed to occupy the other.

‘this feels awfully familiar’

the next morning rolled around. wilbur had texted you and told you what you needed to wear, soothing your anxieties.

you threw on a beige sweater and some random pair of sweatpants, fixed up your bed head, pulled on a pair of worn out converse, and you were out the door, your feet carrying you towards the cosy cafe.

‘fuck’

there he was.

scrolling through his phone, a solemn expression spread across his features. his beat up sweater wrinkled and decorated with ramen stains. his jeans creased and rolled up at the ankles, dotted with specks of dirt. his converse falling apart and fading at the edges, smeared with mud around the soles. and his hair-

‘god, his hair’

his hair flopping in front of his eyes and curling in every direction, the sunlight hitting each curl just right.

and as you were about to make your way towards the door, he held eye contact with you, a slight smirk on his lips.

‘he caught on’

after the coffee, date, hangout, you didn’t know, you were sat back in your boring, plain, expressionless flat, you couldn’t help but have your mind caught up in a tangle.

wilbur was certainly a gentleman, but there was no context on why you had to have that coffee with him at 10am on a saturday morning. there was no closure. what was happening now. was he trying to get your attention, was he trying to progress the friendship, did he want to be more than what you two already were-

‘no, that can’t be possible’

until the next saturday and a weird message from tommy.

<- previous | next ->

#chapter 2 #wilbur soot #wilbur #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot fic #ycgma #your city gave me asthma #wilbur bittersweet #london #fic #jubilee line #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur soot x you #wilbur imagine

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reclusiverisottonero · 2 years

Note

Busts down your door hello Julie 👁️👁️

Could I request these two prompts because I’m special and I pay your salary in the hole (I don’t)

don’t worry, I’ll be here when you’re awake & sleep, darling. i’ll protect you from the nightmares.

With Dio, p1, 3 or 6 is fine whatever you vibe with and NB is a-ok with me 😘💖✨

Hi Melky! NGL I was really nervous to write this since I've literally never written Dio before but at the same time it was a fun challenge. I hope this is somewhere up to par with what you wanted!

💌 This request was for a Valentine’s Day Fluff event available to member’s of Papersiren’s discord server. Requests are currently closed.

Pairing: Dio (pt 3)/Reader (gn) Warnings: Semi-graphic/gory descriptions of nightmares, Dio being creepy, implied polyamory.

It’s hot as fuck in Cairo; which, duh, you knew that before coming out here. Though you didn’t truly know it until you took your first steps outside into that dry heat and could literally feel the sun’s UV rays cooking you alive. Needless to say, the second you made it to Dio’s mansion you refused to step outside again. Discovering the mansion’s limited air conditioning made you so close to turning around and going back home before even unpacking, but just like everyone else here you’ve been drawn like a moth to a flame by Dio’s charisma. Despite how that heat can singe your wings at any moment, you choose to stay.

Well, that, and being one of the handful of people allowed the privilege to share his bed also helped in the decision. Being the one that is called on the most might have influenced you as well. Just a little bit.

It’s another borderline unbearable night in the unfamiliar Egyptian heat, triggering a spike in your anxiety which has caused you to toss and turn in bed next to Dio. Your nightmares tonight range from being chased by shadows to startlingly vivid and bloody snapshots of your teeth falling out one by one. Awareness comes and goes in between them all, until you roll across bed enough to land face first into Dio’s bare chest.

Realizing what you’ve done wakes you fast enough that the surge of adrenaline dizzies you, becoming worse when you see him just silently staring at you. Lying on his side and propping his head up with a hand the vampire gazes at you, green eyes studying you intently as you try to appear unaffected by his intensity.

“You’re quite the active dreamer, aren’t you?” He quips in that velvet smooth voice, free hand coming to gently stroke his knuckles across your cheek.

As spontaneous as you’ve been about following Dio, you’re not stupid. You know when you’re being put under a microscope, and the soft smirk on his lips while he continues to look down on you makes something irksome yet pleasant pool and simmer in your guts.

“I suppose so.” You say casually and stretch your arms above your head, watching him as he watches you. Impulsively you ask, “What about you? Do vampires dream?”

A series of emotions flit over Dio’s face before settling back into the bored smugness that he prefers to hide behind. He chuckles, the hint of sharp fangs peeking out from between his full lips when he replies, “My dear, I don’t have to sleep.”

How specifically worded that answer was is not lost on you, but you have enough self preservation not to push the topic. Playing it cool is the safer option, though you can’t help wondering why Dio would want to avoid rest if he’s still capable of doing so.

“Lucky you. Ugh, the things I would do for a good night’s sleep right now...” You say through a yawn but the bitterness in your tone can still easily be heard. It only causes Dio’s smirk to grow wider, his hand sliding along the slight dip of your naked waist up to the meat of your hip.

“Then sleep, darling. I’ll protect you from the nightmares.” He coos in that borderline condescending lit you’ve come to find comfort in. You’re pulled in closer to the solid wall of muscles that are his body and on instinct you scoot yourself into him, your back to his chest with a tired sigh. Sleep creeps up fast thanks to the weight of his arm around you and his voice rumbling in your ear. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you’re awake.”

While cynical about his flowery words you do in fact sleep soundly through the rest of the night, naturally waking on your own mid-morning to surprisingly find Dio still wrapped up in you. His lips rest against the back of your neck, and once fully awake you feel the ghost of a smile take shape across your skin.

You roll over to give Dio a proper morning greeting before the smug ‘I told you so’ that hangs in the air can be spoken by him out loud. He merely grasps your chin to coax your mouth open so he can take things further than you’d originally intended, but you’re more than happy to let your wings flutter amongst the flames for just a little while longer.

#dio brando #dio x reader #dio brando x reader #dio jjba #dio jojo #ask #papersirens #my writing

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ravenzeppeli · 7 months

Text

Claimed

Chapter 5- Prosciutto Is Not |Prosciutto x Reader Angst|

Warning: nudity, implied sex, graphic murder. mention and described, threats, strong language. MA.

You laid on the random rental bed as Illuso got dressed, staring up at the white ceiling. You laid fully nude, a numb, unsatisfied tingle buzzed between your legs. You just had terrible sex- you didn't even come close, almost having an orgasm. It was just you sucking him off, and then he railed you in doggy mode and pulled your hair until he came.

He pulled his white tshirt over his head as he walked over to you, sitting on the edge of the bed as he looked down at you. "Last week this fuckin' prick tried to rip us off," Illuso told you as he leaned back, his body stretching over you, his back pressing against your bare stomach. "Shit pissed me off. Why would he try that shit knowing who the fuck I am?" He questioned, pulling out a joint from his pocket. "Wanna know what I did to him? Also you gotta fuckin' lighter?"

You reached towards the wooden dresser, picking up the lighter and handing it to Illuso. "What did you do?"

"I scalped the son of a bitch, I took my hunting knife out my pocket and I cut his scalp straight off," he told you, placing the joint in his mouth and lighting it up, taking a hit. He inhaled before blowing the smoke in your face, a sick grin on his face. "He was fuckin' terrified, still alive with his brain showin'. I had to shoot the poor bastard, he was begging pretty hard." He put the joint up to your mouth.

You tilted your head to the side slightly as you slightly leaned forward, taking a quick drag. You inhaled, then exhaled, turning your head to the side to avoid blowing smoke in his face. "How long do you think someone can survive without a scalp? Like, if your brains are exposed and nothing is protecting it, how long can you really live?" You should feel fear, but you didn't feel that. You just felt curious. You've killed before, but never like that. "Do you wanna do that to me? Is that why you're telling me?"

"Melone is weak as fuck, and his stand isn't as good as mine," Illuso began as he suddenly sat up, "but he's fucking insane. And he fucking told me last night that if you die he'll go insane and destroy everything. Now, I don't know what that fucking means but I don't wanna find out. Also, I'm fine with you being my little girlfriend, I ain't gonna kill ya. I just want to tell you about my day since you're my girl. Gotta problem with that? Don't want me to be tight with you like you are with Melone?"

"What do you mean?" You questioned, not knowing what he's trying to imply. What does he want from you? You assumed he would only want sex and to hang out when he was bored. Why was he suddenly saying you were his girl?

Illuso put out the joint on the dresser, leaving a small cigarette burn dent in the dark wooden cabinet. "I'm 34, I've been through so much pussy I don't even know how many women I've slept with. I might of paid for most of it, but damn the pussy just always kept coming." He turned to face you, leaning forward, his face suddenly inches away from yours. "They also kept going.. and that's what they were supposed to do. I've had my fun, I think I can go all the way with you."

You raised your eyebrows at him yet again, "maybe you should get tested. This is why I always make you wear a condom. You literally could have something." You shook your head, freezing up when he suddenly crashed his lips into yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he planted a rough, sloppy kiss on your lips. As he pulled away, you reached a hand out, placing it on his chest. "Why?"

"I use fucking protection even when I get my dick sucked, don't disrespect me girl. And best believe I don't go around kissing either, I've only kissed on five women. One was my first girlfriend when I was a kid, one was my fiance I dumped, two from girlfriends, and you're the last one. And I dated that last girl three years ago," he spoke to you softly, but a hint of danger still rested in his tone. "So what's up? You're my girl now, right? I'm making it official, I just want to hear you say it so fucking say it."

You decided to play your cards right, nodding your head. "Okay, I'm your girlfriend, and you're my boyfriend." You were a little surprised, but you technically already were kind of dating all seven of them. You didn't count Ghiaccio or Pesci, though, despite being told you should, but whatever. These men couldn't read your minds, and you were a good actor. "I mean, what's the point in saying it? Nothing will change. Right?"

Illuso smirked, placing another kiss on your lips before standing up. "Everything's going to change between us now. I promise you that." He patted your cheek gently. "Go downstairs or stay up here, I don't fucking care what you do. I'm going to take a shower. I'll see you and those beautiful fuckin' tits when I come downstairs."

-----

"I don't want to drink the fucking water, I don't like it," you told Melone as you pushed the glass back towards him. "Don't you start. I'm an adult, I drink what I want and I don't want water. I'm not a fish, do I look like a fish to you? Hm?" You walked over to the fridge and opened it, grabbing a can of soda. "I just woke up, I need caffeine. Not water, not toast."

Melone followed you, grabbing the soda out of your hand. "Why are you so cranky this morning? That's because you don't drink enough water, and you skip breakfast," he told you, shaking his head. "I'm a very patient man, baby. I'll keep bothering you. I'll give you the soda once you eat a piece of toast and drink some water, please. I just care. That's it, baby."

You couldn't admit this to even yourself really but you loved Melone. Despite feeling like these men will turn on you and kill you, you can't help but find yourself falling in love with him. No man had ever beaten a man to death because they wanted to harm you, that's so.. hot? You didn't know how to describe it, but it made you want him, him constantly showing you positive affection, and taking care of you made you actually fall in love with him. And despite him being overly excited during the first two times you had sex with him, he was great in bed- amazing. You didn't care that he was insane and a little toxic. You weren't perfect.

"Why are you giving Melone a hard time? Just sit down and eat the damn bread, I don't want to hear him asking you a million times," Prosciutto snapped, causing you to walk over to him, sitting across from him. "Do you need to be constantly watched? Eat girl, you're young and need to stay healthy."

You looked down at the plate that Melone placed in front of you, seeing a piece of toast. You grabbed the toast, taking a bite as you quickly snatched the soda out of Melones' other hand, placing it under the table and between your legs. "I'll eat the toast, okay? Fine."

Melone smiled down at you, nodding his head. "Good. I just want want to be healthy. Three meals a day and a little extra are important. Now, I'm going to go get ready." He leaned down, placing a kiss on the top of your head. "I am more than ready to protect you. I'm going to rip those men apart, I promise you that." He patted your shoulder before leaving, heading into the living room of the rental.

You kept your face emotionless, but inside, you couldn't help but feel a little turned on by his possessiveness over you. You leaned back, your eyes meeting Prosciutto, who was already staring at you, his hands clutching a newspaper as he looked you up and down. "What? Stop doing that to me. That's like, fucked up."

"When a man looks you up and down, it means they're physically attracted to you Y/N," Prosciutto told you, a hint of annoyance in his tone. Immediately your eyes moved up and down, you only being able to see his face and part of his chest, his dress shirt buttoned down slightly, revealing his bare chest as well as a thin gold chain. "Oh, really now?"

You looked around, never being the type to joke around much, especially with these men. Despite 'dating' them, you only felt comfortable joking around with Melone, but you refrained yourself. You were a woman. You always had to worry about these men finding you weak and fragile, so you just kept your mouth shut. You found yourself close to asking him something, but you stopped yourself.

Prosciutto cleared his throat, causing you to once again meet his eyes. "I will be taking you out on a date soon. Would you prefer to eat out or would you like for me to cook for you at my house?"

You instantly froze, looking down at your toast. "We.. can go to your house." You've already been seen in public with Melone and Formaggio. You didn't want your reputation completely ruined. How will people look at you knowing you're dating seven men? They'll look at you pretty poorly.

"Maybe that is for the best considering these unique circumstances," Prosciutto told you, nodding his head as he picked up his cup of coffee, taking a sip from the black mug before looking down at your toast. "What's the most important meal of the day?"

"Alcohol," you replied, picking up the toast and taking a bite. You chewed and swallowed, leaning back as you looked at him. "I've never been to your house before. Are you sure I can be trusted?" You smirked a little, causing him to suddenly lean forward, eyes going dark. "Do you want a kiss? You'll have to ask nicely, and I'll say no."

"I am not Formaggio or Illuso. Stop making jokes with me. I am not amused. I have been in the mafia for over 25 years, don't tell me I can't trust you," Prosciutto snapped at you, instantly becoming frustrated with you, his tone threatening and harsh "I hardly know you, and I know nothing about you. You could be working for the enemy. Your entire first encounter with Risotto is suspicious."

You let a laugh escape your lips, causing him to suddenly stand up, his large lean but muscular form stepping towards you, towering over you. You immediately realized that your laugh came off disrespectful, causing you to scoot back in your chair instantly, and your head immediately dropped down to protect your face from being hit. You weren't laughing to disrespect Prosciutto. You just find it amusing that he would accuse you of working for the enemy. What enemy? You hardly knew anyone, let alone any fucking enemy they had.

Before joining La Squadra, you only had light knowledge of the mafia world, only selling drugs for Luca and sometimes collecting money from businesses that owed him. You knew of a few names - Bruno, Polpo, Squado, and Tiziano - and you knew of Risotto as well. You just heard names, also selling drugs to lower ranking members. You kept yourself heavily armed, knowing how dangerous it was for a woman to do what you're doing. You always felt as if one day soon your life would be cut short for all your crimes and being too involved. That's why you'll never trust these men. They could kill you at any moment. Afraid.. did you feel afraid? No.. you felt conflicted about your entire situation.

"Did you just fucking laugh at me? Am I some fucking joke to you?" Prosciutto snapped, two hard steps padding across the hardwood floor. "You keep disrespecting me and I am done with it. I got something to adjust you." You suddenly heard a jean buckle, causing you go suddenly lift your head, immediately reaching out your hands.

As he began to unfasten his thick leather belt, your hands stopped him, your smaller hands attempting to wrap around his larger ones. Him beating you with a belt was not something that you wanted to enjoy with your morning toast, instead attempting to stop him. "I'm sorry, Prosciutto, I was just kidding. I didn't mean any harm. Before this, I just sold drugs for Luca and collected some money for him. And I killed a few guys. I was honest with Risotto," you told him, finding it hard to keep eye contact with his hard gaze. "I told him everything." You think.

"How many men have you killed?" Prosciutto questioned, letting his hands freeze instead of snatching them away from your grasp.

You shrugged. "Why would I keep count? I just killed the men that ripped him off." You've been ripped off by women a few times but always ended up paying what was missing to Luca. Without his knowledge, he was ripped off. You didn't want to kill any women, just men. "I shoot, or I stab them. I never use my stand unless necessary."

He kept his glare on you, almost meanicing as he slowly began to nod his head. "You better watch yourself around me. You've been pissing me off too much.. if it was just you and I here and I wasn't about to leave, then I would punish you accordingly." He looked down at your hands, raising his eyebrows. "For now, I won't, but when we are alone, you'll be getting your first punishment from me."

"You know, you're making it really hard for me to like you," you told him, causing take one step back, your hands dropping to the side as he buckled his belt. You could now see why Prosciutto had trouble keeping a woman married to him. As attractive as he was physically, it seemed that he wanted to have full control over who he was with. Unfortunately for you, you aren't in a situation where you can just leave him or say no. Leaving him would mean you leaving Melone, and you loved Melone. You also knew that a group of assassins could easily track you down; you would always be on the run, and that was no life to live.

"That doesn't hurt my feelings, but I will be sure to remember how much you don't like me when punishing you. It will keep me from stopping when you beg," he told you, voice suddenly becoming low, almost.. kind? "It's time for me to go. I'm needed on this mission, so lucky for you, I won't be staying here alone with you. Pesci will."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise; you haven't spoken to Pesci much, almost forgetting completely that he was your seventh boyfriend. "Pesci?"

"You listen to him and respect him. He is very nervous, but that does not mean that he isn't a man. He is very capable of protecting you, so don't give him a hard time, or I'll be even more pissed at you," Prosciutto warned, raising his hand and placing it on your shoulder. "Do not try anything. I am warning you."

You nodded your head. You had no reason to be mad at Pesci. He's never done anything at all to you. You could awkwardly sit next to him until Melone gets back. Oh. And the others. "Why would I? He's never done anything to me, I have no problem with me. I have no negative feelings towards him." You have no feelings towards him.

Prosciutto nodded his head, gently squeezing your shoulder before he walked away, leaving you to stand in the dining room.

As he walked away, you still felt his hand on your shoulder, as if he was still lightly grasping it. You raised your hand gently, touching where he grasped your shoulder, a tingle running down your spine as you touched the area, still warm from his gentle yet firm grasp.

#tw murder mention #tw unhealthy relationship #tw unsettling #tw graphic #tw sex mention #tw nudity #tw nude #tw threats #tw adult themes #tw mature #ravenzeppeli #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #la squadra #tw strong language #tw language #la squadra claimed #claimed la squadra #claimed

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batsincastlesociety · 26 days

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more oc scribbles but they're also very scribbly actually

explanations + bonus doodle under the cut! :)

a manato outfit concept, along with some small crowd practice! i'm thinking of giving side characters / unimportant characters in crowds just faceless mannequin-esque designs, as i did here, for future reference. :3 i love drawing big, extremely exaggerated puffy sleeves so much!! definitely going to give all of manato's other outfits some sort of motif to that...

more manato!! wahoo!! this one is just random, honestly. a little scribble. a tiny thing. i don't draw proper character designs from the back, so i just wanted to make something a bit different. maybe i'll digitalize this and make it into a proper painting someday!

YEAAAAAH AKIHIRO!!!!! YEEAAAAH !!! i love him so much but i actually detest him but hes so silly abdhfsjska. this was sort of inspired by a screencap from "butcher vanity". as in the song 😭 but i just wanted to make him look bored and annoyed instead. not for any particular reason; i just typically resort to giving my characters' faces annoyed / bored as a default. i really want to digitalize this, too! :P but definitely not right now, lmao.

more annoyed akihiro!! i've been thinking of drawing eyes a bit differently lately, as shown here. he's very judgy in this shot, haha! idk of what, though... 🤔 once again, i just like making my characters pissed off. this one sort of gave me the vibes of old photos where they never smile. and in movies, all of the ancestors' portraits always look stern and annoyed... honestly, i'd be rather angry too if i had to sit still for multiple hours just to have my face painted too, so i can't really blame those guys 💀

this one was Just Plain Silly. also expression practice!! i liked how this one turned out,,, i had no idea how to make the eyes so i just resorted to anime, lmao. you know how some angry faces in unserious scenes in anime just have the character go like ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)? just big white eyes, and a massive square (typically sharp-toothed) mouth? to express Pure Unbridled Fury? like that. :)

this specific one was just literally based on something that happened a few minutes ago, lmao. just scrolling on tumblr and boom. netflixvania. get out!!!! >:(

also, a similar experience happened yesterday... i remember when i went to hot topic in the mall, as SOON as i turned to leave after i Purchased My Wares, you know how hot topic has all of their t-shirt graphics put into square frames, all over the wall?

yeah as soon as i went to Leave, and (poorly) chose to check out the graphics for a second, you want to know the FIRST god-damned thing i saw? A NETFLIXVANIA GRAPHIC. NO JOKE. now THAT was seriously the straw that broke the camel's back -- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOT TOPIC HAD NETFLIXVANIA MERCH!!! .·°՞(≧□≦)՞°·.

BUT I CHECKED THEIR WEBSITE. AND THEY DO. 3 pages worth of merchandise, and IT'S ALL FOR THE SHOW!! i died on the spot. anyway that's all i have to type right now but yeah it Sucked.

#shitpost #my artwork #silly doodles #my oc art #akihiro black #manato edgeworth #anti netflixvania

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mdhwrites · 6 months

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Star Rail 2.1: Rising Like a Phoenix (Spoiler Free)

This is one of those sorts of drops for a franchise that makes the bad content look worse. I dislike 2.0 MORE after 2.1 and for a pretty obvious reason: I like Aventurine now. I know for a lot of people that might be a non controversial statement but I did an almost a scene by scene breakdown for how much I didn't think he worked in 2.0. That anything they were going for was entirely flawed.

But they got back on track and now gave us arguably one of the best main content drops in all of Star Rail... But definitely not the best to me. I still have issues with this patch but compared to where I thought Penacony started, the fact that it's now well surpassed the Loufu already as a story is miraculous.

Admittedly, it's probably rivaling starting to try and rival the Loufu and Belobog separately in cutscene length at this point. There are definitely times during this patch where they could have used the FF 14 "Multiple cutscenes are about to play in a row" warning because BOY does this patch talk a lot. It has a lot to say which is good but...

Well, unfortunately without spoilers, I'm going to sound very negative about this patch. I swear I do like it. It has interesting character work and world building to it, some of which would have been hard not to run into these sorts of problems with, and the topics are good enough to warrant real discussions of them. There's just one major problem with it.

Their engine and the fact that this still needs to go on a phone.

Presentation is the death of this patch. I want to do a whole blog on this but I've once heard a reviewer say that one of the hardest things to make interesting is "Two people talking in a room." I actually disagree with that statement, almost anything done entirely alone (which ironically is one of the parts the game tries harder with when that eventually happened) is harder but... It's not a bad supposition. After all, if all they're doing is talking, not even arguing, you can end up just having it feel like an exposition dump. Even if it's entirely character work, it can still feel like we're being told a lot instead of being shown it.

And this patch has a lot of moment, especially early on with Aventurine, where it would get thrown back with "Show, don't tell." Not just because it's character stuff but ANYTHING to break up what is going on in these scenes. There's way too many, that chain into each other, that are just people standing in environments we've already spent time in (or are just not that visually interesting in general) just standing there, talking. Some are better, even great at this in the patch, but not enough of it is. I actually had to take a break midway through it because it was all coming in as a tiring drone that was giving me a headache from how much it was just getting on my nerves for being boring.

And I kind of have to assume part of that is a concession to the mobile market which admittedly, I'm not a part of. Star Rail is literally the first gacha game I've EVER stuck with for more than a week. I play it on my PC which runs almost anything that hits the market at top graphics even four years after I got it. So I probably feel this weird disconnect of Star Rail both being a AA game and it being a mobile game more than some might.

But it also begs the question of how much could they do in scenes? How much does their engine support that? The majority of cutscenes in the game are pre-rendered after all. There are VERY few gestures built into their dialogue system, at least as far as I can tell, which mostly come down to "Arms crossed, arms dropped, maybe a couple small facial expression changes." It all makes for a very monotonous presentation that can only be saved so much with the writing.

Even in a book, this would be most unacceptable. You'd still expect breaks from the dialogue to get into a character's head, detail their fidgets, their thoughts, show what others are doing and giving character flairs to add personality to scenes. Just SOMETHING to make it feel less boring and monotonous.

Which is the weird Catch 22 of this patch. It is the sharpest Star Rail has ever been with its writing... But it's also potentially its most boring. Again, not all of it and the climax is heck of a thing, but it's still one of the few times where I just wanted the game to shut up and let me do ANYTHING. It's one of the few times I've ever needed a break during main story content besides when the Loufu pissed me off in 1.1. Being angry would still have been more of a reaction than a lot of what this patch was causing out of me.

But the boring elements will also fade and I'll be left with the best moments in my memory so I suspect that unlike 2.0, where I actually keep forgetting about how good the Firefly stuff is because the bad felt more important to me and stuck with me more, I'll forget the bad and keep the good. You know, like the fact that Welt probably gives his best performance in the entire game in this patch, or the fact that I think the game is genuinely good at some of its politicking. Its mystery is still not great by ANY means but its leaning more into the strengths of Penacony at this point which is good.

It is a patch that has resold me on the game, both for why I'm bothering to stick around and more literally in that I'm DEFINITELY pulling for Aventurine when he comes around and getting Topaz to go with him when she comes around. Helps that losing my 50/50 and my 75/25 on Acheron got me both Clara and her Lightcone finally, giving me one of the best follow up attackers in the game.

And I do think I should mention that this patch just continues the fact that Star Rail is still one of the best turn based RPGs out there right now, let alone for the price, and this patch doesn't disappoint on that front. But I'd need to get more into spoilers for that so for today, thank you all, good luck on your pulls and see you next tale.

======+++++======

My UID, because I'm trying to include this on Star Rail posts more often. 601902728

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#hsr aventurine #honkai star rail #hsr #Honkai spoilers #star rail spoilers

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tsuunytsuun · 1 year

Text

This is EXTREMELY random and probably very controversial.. But I think simmers put the sims 3 on too high of a pedestal.

[warning, this rant is LOOOONGGG so strap in if you dare.. also, these are opinions, if that wasn't obvious, so please relax before you threaten me or sm]

The way I play the sims depends a lot on the visuals (cas cc, builds, reshade and save files) so I prefer the sims 4 for obvious reasons.

I'm just stating my opinion, and I agree that the sims 4 has a LOT LOT LOT of problems, but Istg if I see ONE more reddit post with the title "The Sims 4 is kinda boring tbh" or "The sims 3 is better than the sims 4" or some iteration of that, I'm gonna lose my actual mind and delete the internet.

WE KNOW.

PERSONALLY, I just think a lot of simmers are semi-blinded by their nostalgia. Cause ts3 has more problems than people want to admit- and anybody who tries to come at me with the old "tHE sImS tHrEe HaD aN OpeN wOrlD!" argument can honestly go stub a toe.

Yes. I am complaining about complainers, deal with it.

They say TS4 has too many rabbit holes, but BABES TS3 has them pretty much EVERYWHERE. Restaurant? Rabbit hole. Store? rabbit hole. Spa? Rabbit hole. Rabbit hole rabbit hole RABBIT HOLE.

People act like TS3 didn't/doesn't need mods to make it more playable, JUST LIKE THE SIMS 4.

Keep in mind that I'm NOT hating on the sims 3 as a game, I played it and it's fun ig- I'm ranting about the group of simmers who will DIE on the "THE SIMS 4 SUCKS RAAAHHHH" hill and will never let the argument rest. (Although trust me, I've had my share of "the sims 4 sucks" moments and wanted to throw my computer)

I feel like when TS4 was announced, people were expecting a literal CLONE of TS3 with better graphics, and since that didn't happen, hate.

Just watch, when the sims 5 comes out, people are gonna pop their rose-tinted glasses back on and reminisce about how PERFECT the sims 4 was. It will become the NEW sims 3, the GOAT.

The weirdest thing to me is when a new pack is announced and people are basically going "omg this new pack is gonna SUCK, so I'm gonna spend a bunch of money so I can TELL them how much it sucks- that oughta show em"

WHY? Just WHY.

And about some of the gameplay bugs (I'm not talking about certain expansion packs, we all know those are broken and complaints about that are perfectly valid) I've been seeing. Eighty percent of the time they can be fixed by deleting files in your game than can cause issues.

I'm literally BEGGING yall at this point, delete the localthumbcache file in your sims game folder. PLEASE. It won't harm your game. It helps a lot with lag and other bugs.

At this point some people are just complaining to complain, complaining is practically a cornerstone of the sims community at this point.

It's a part of the deal when you sign on to become a simmer, it's a tradition, a fact of life, one of the many things that brings simmers all over the world together. Complaining.

Also, lets be honest here. Even if the TS4 glitches are annoying, sometimes they can be pretty dang hilarious. Trust me, all you have to do is search "funniest sims 4 glitches" on Youtube and prepare to laugh.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I'll see myself out. Waiting for the inevitable discrediting of this rant in the comments.

(I posted this on reddit too, so if you see it there then yeah that's me)

#the sims 4 #the sims community #the sims 3 #sims #the sims rant #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 #ts4 simblr

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sagesilentfire · 2 years

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it's so weird I personally never saw/considered toffee as evil???? and had no idea that people hated him??????? I thought it was universally agreed he was the best and most tragic thing to happen in the series?????????

even after the rollercoaster that was comet I'm more inclined to believe he DIDN'T murder her (tbf she had it coming)

Oh, I agree with you. I don't think he's evil. But unfortunately, that doesn't erase how the writers, and a section of the fans, treated him. Maybe they were a vocal minority, but if so they were extremely vocal. Here's the breakdown:

The writers: I've explained at length how the writers screwed over Toffee. They change his motives from petty to deep depending on who they're talking to, they ignore all the mystery boxes they created regarding him, and if there's any way they want us to feel about his pointless, horrible death, it's either relief or a dull sadness that the magic wasn't destroyed right then. Not horror or righteous indignation. He isn't explicitly a tragic victim, he's barely even mentioned after, and never in a way that implies Star should feel guilty for murdering him. Explicitly, he's a faceless obstacle to be knocked over by Star after she levels up, and it's totally fine she literally melted him, it's fine! We shouldn't question the morality of our white savior protagonist, it's fine!

But the big one, and the one you were likely referring to, is the fandom. And when I made that analysis, I do admit to one cop-out: the fandom isn't like that now. Nowadays it's mostly dead, with the odd stubborn holdout (like me) posting in the tag now and then. A lot of us are Toffee fans, still posting because we liked the potential the show had and so we're imagining him as a character and not the plot equivalent of a bowling pin. But Back In The Day, when the show was still running, people celebrated Toffee's death. It was so cool that Star Vs. had the guts to graphically murder a character onscreen! Star was so cool, and here you thought this show was for kids! Her butterfly form is so cool! Yeah, so much better than that loser Steven Universe, who just talks about his feelings to the villains and solves problems with love and friendship! Never mind that there's a reason other shows don't do this, and that's because it sends a horrible message. Star should've taken a page out of Steven's book honestly.

But surely after the shock of this super cool and edgy death wore out, people started to see the tragedy inherent in Toffee's character? Nope! I mean, there were some popular analysis posts and such, but the fandom mostly forgot about Toffee, along with the writers. And while we were forgetting about that, Morningmark happened. I've talked about him before, but he's always been both a good barometer for the fandom's opinion of a character as well as a shaper of it. When he rarely goes against the fandom's majority opinion, the fandom seems to bend over backwards to make his headcanon everyone's headcanon. Even when it involves dubious characterization. I have already talked about why Morningmark is overrated, but... he just does not get Toffee, even after the show ended with Toffee kind of acknowledged as being right, even after the fandom slowly began to die. In his urge to make everything haha funny he just made it really flat and made Toffee stupid, boring, and evul, and since his comics were the only thing getting notes in the quickly-dying fandom, it made it very annoying to be a fan of depth and tragedy in svtfoe. Then he stopped making svtfoe comics and moved to making Belos stupid and other The Owl House-related crimes, and at least I don't have to worry about his dreadful takes on Toffee anymore, so that's great.

And from there it was a short hop to the fandom we have today, where only people who got something important out of svtfoe still make content. Now, and only now, do we have the majority thinking Toffee's story, or at least what we saw of it, was the best thing to come out of svtfoe.

Also, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if Mina killed Comet and blamed Toffee. That would be a much better twist than the whole Moon bs.

#svtfoe critical #svtfoe #svtfoe negativity #star vs the forces of evil #analysis #queue queue #ask #anon #my posts

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theladyofbloodshed · 2 years

Note

I've seen that you're anti rhysand and like crescent city to a certain level so, as I barely trust stans, I wanted to ask you: what do you think about Lidia? Because there are some very strange opinions about her. I've seen people who say Azriel never did anything wrong, calling her all sorts of names and I can't stop thinking that she and Az practically have the same job so... that sounds a bit of double standards, also the thing with mask is literally what rhysand does and while people adore him for that, they seem to hate her and think that her being a double agent is bs. So what do you think?

As it’s me, you will get a very long answer.

i was so pleasantly surprised by cc1. I don’t really go for urban fantasy and thought it was be horrendous but I enjoyed it. I actually really liked Bryce and I LOVED hunt.

Book 2 was not it. Bryce turned into aelin and everybody wants to sleep with her because she’s so hot and so clever and so amazing.

I will be honest, I have little interest in ruhn x lidia. As soon as Lidia was mentioned as a super beautiful blonde who is the Enemy™️- who happened to be sister of ruhn’s arranged bride - I knew she’d be Day and it’s so predictable. I’m bored of it.

Lidia is just Rhys in a different font at this point but I suppose she is risking more and is in more danger. Rhys had no reason to become amarantha’s lapdog when he hid Velaris and the IC from everybody’s memory. He had nothing to protect??? Nobody knew any of it existed???

Lidia seems to be dealt a worse hand having to leave the witches as she’s a shifter and should be queen but lost that birth right. The SA she experiences is more graphic in text but I’m sure it will be waved away and she’ll be hyper sexual like all sjm characters. (The mind sex was weird I didn’t like it). Embedding herself into the group and being a spy is far riskier than Rhys becoming close to amarantha to do absolutely nothing ???? At least lidia is passing intel over. And as far as I can remember, lidia doesn’t have a Velaris to return to when it’s over. She’s in this life for the long haul.

On the whole, as a character she’s fine, but that character has been done to death. Give me a character like Zuko from ATLA who is a villain and has an amazing arc where they learn and grow and redeem themselves.

I am so tired of “they are a villain!!! Ha ha just kidding they’re actually the World’s Best Person (because beautiful people can’t be bad!) and they’re doing all this evil stuff because they’re actually good!!! It’s all an act!! They are good!!!”

Give me an evil person who learns how to be good over time who regrets their decisions

Stop washing it away because you can’t commit to making them do bad things

I think this is why I like Azriel because he’s fucked up, he knows he is, everybody knows he is and it’s just 🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s Azriel! I really hope they don’t then say actually there was another secret shadow singer who tortures people, Azriel just tricked them all! He’s really an angel who has never hurt anybody 😊 I want him to regret, I want him to grow

#anon asks

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mousebetterhavemymoney · 6 months

Text

Gangnam Style (Chapter Seven)

September 18, 1999

I rub my eyes tiredly as i watch the news.

As usual, some reporter was complaining about me. That wasn't anything new, but there's something misery-inducing about sitting by the Tv, Soju in hand while someone talks about how you are apparently "damaging America's youth."

The reporter, a pretty blonde with a shaggy bob, is going into a tirade about "Split" and the negative affect it's having on young girls.

"These songs are so, so damaging for young women. The music video for Good 4 u contains such graphic violence! I mean, Jamie literally lights a house on fire, with her boyfriend inside. Is this the kind of person we want our girls to become?!"

I scoff and take another swig from the bottle.

Does she mean strong women who won't allow men to disrespect them? Because, personally, i think every mother would want that for their child...

"And don't even get me started on the cuss words." She sighed deeply, as if trying to calm herself from her panic. "Vampire? Gasoline? Nightmare? They all have so many explicit words and references that growing girls really shouldn't be hearing. She claims she wants to inspire women to be there best selves, but all she wants to do is drag them down with her. Has anyone listened to Gasoline? It's like she's encouraging us to join her in her insanity. Well, i for one, want to stay out of it."

I bite my lip. I can't deny it, her words sting. And for the hundreth time, i wondered if it had all been a mistake.

Was i wrong in returning to music? Was i truly inspiring anyone, or was i just pulling my fans into my darkness?

I didn't know for sure, but Soju always clears the mind.

I'm about to take another swig, when i get a call.

"Jamie, hi! How are you, we haven't talked since before you went to the VMA's! We should have a girls night and you can tell me all about it!" I hold back an eyeroll at the sound of Brittany's cheerful voice. I love her like a sister, but she's just so... positive.

Before i get a chance to make a flimsy excuse, she starts protesting.

"C'mon, you did so well at the Vmas. You deserve it!"

I sigh with a soft smile. It never takes much for her to convince me...

"Ok, ok, you got me. But i'm not in the mood for another media circus. We'll order a pizza food, and you can come over and we'll watch a movie. Deal?"

"Perfect. See you then."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not really sure what to wear, but it's only a girls night in, so i settle for a dark satin robe and pair of hideous looking bunny slippers that Brittany got for my birthday. They were supposed to be a "joke" gift, but i had liked them enough to keep them. I use a claw clip to style my hair into a messy bun, I look into the mirror with an accepting sigh.

I'm disgusting. I look 100% disgusting.

Before i can sink further into self-hate, the doorbell rings, and i smile to myself. It must be her. That's my Brittany, always swooping in when i need her the most.

I try not to seem too excited as i open the door and embrace her.

She shoots me a big smile. "Thanks for sending Miguel to pick me up. It's great to see you, you look amazing!"

I smirk with false bravado.

"Always."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Brittany lays her head on my shoulder as we snuggle up on the couch and watch "Titanic." I think it's a little boring, but the acting is good, and it makes for good background noise as we pass the bottle around and talk about our lives. Besides, it's one of Brittany's favorite movies... but i'm positive she doesn't watch it for the plot. And i've got no problem telling her so.

Brittany lets out a soft chuckle at my comment. "Of course I watch it for the content...well, most of it" she adds, flashing me a quick grin. "Okay, maybe your right and it's mostly for the eye candy. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good looking man. And so are you, i hear." I roll my eyes.

"What did Miguel tell you?"

"Nothing... i just heard you had some fun with Eminem."

I bite my black nails at the mention of the hookup, and avoid eye contact. Damn Miguel. Of course he told.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

September 10, 1999

The morning after.

I try to ignore my driver's grin as i crawl into the limo.

Miguel looks back at me with a devilish smile on his face. "You wanna talk about last night?"

"Shut up. My plane won't wait forever." He shrugs and finally starts the car.

"So, you really just hit it and quit it on him, huh? I thought you were a little classier than that. He's probably pretty sore right now, I mean who were you trying to please, exactly? Him or yourself?"

"Eyes on the road, Ramirez." I snap irritably, rubbing my tired eyes.

Miguel stares at me through the rearview mirror for a moment longer before shrugging and turning his attention back to the road. We ride in silence for a while and a few minutes later, I finally break the silence. "So, for future reference, how much time do I need to spend with a guy before I sleep with him for you to think it is classy?"

Miguel answered the question without skipping a beat. "I'm thinking at least 3 hours." he replied, the side of his mouth curving up in a smirk.

I roll my eyes.

"Nevermind. Why do i ask you anything?"

Miguel laughs quietly as he keeps driving. "Because i'm so damn wise, of course."

"Wisecracking maybe."

He sniggers.

"I'll take it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Present Time

I snapped out of my daydream to see Brittany squeezing my shoulder with a soft smile.

She can always read my body language with ease. "Hey, look at me," she says softly, waiting for that eye contact again. "I know you're going through a lot right now- that can't be easy. The way I see it, Eminem was just a little fun to help you take your mind off things, right?"

I smile faintly, squeezing her hand in mine. "Thanks Brit. For understanding. and for... well, everything."

"No worries, that's what friends are for, right?" Brittany leans towards me and gives her a reassuring hug. "Besides, we all gotta have a little fun now and then."

"True. And i did have a lot of fun, to be honest. It's been a while since i slept with someone." Brittany smirks at me.

"And let's be honest, if you had to pick someone to break your dry spell with, you couldn't have picked someone better than Eminem." She adds." That's like, the ultimate fantasy come true. Now you're back on top both in the music scene and in the bedroom. Just don't get too attached to him, I don't think he's the kind of guy who wants anything long term. Maybe you can have a little fun with him a few more times and then move on." I curl up my nose is distaste.

"Oh, i'm not planning on seeing his face again, trust me."

She shrugs. "Okay, so just a one time thing. I get it. No judgement. How was he? I mean he seems like he would be really good at this kind of thing." I roll my eyes and take another swig from the bottle of Soju.

"Let's not talk about any more men tonight." Brittany rolls her eyes.

"Buzzkill. Just promise me one thing: I want to know everything when you finally meet a guy you actually like."

Oh, yeah, like that's ever gonna happen.

"You will. I promise." I say, mostly to reassure her.

Brit smiles and lets out a sigh of relief. She plops her head back on my shoulder. "Okay, good. I'm here for you Jamie, you know that, right?" I smile softly.

"Of course. Now let's watch this stupid movie."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n

Stop writing, i told myself. You have more important tasks, i told myself. But i kept writing and stepped right in the next cypher, best beli-

I'm sorry, i'll stop here. Thanks for reading. Idk when i'll be back... cause i have really no idea where the next chapter is gonna go. But i will try to dust the cobwebs in my head and brainstorm.

Until then?

Enjoy the chapter! ❤

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