#i've just always been into that 'idk i'm doing this because i like it and if it does something for people that's great!' energy
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It's interesting to read this laid out cuz #4 is something I've struggled with. When I see technical errors or maybe a plot hole and I go through feedback and don't see it mentioned, I've gone to my bestie and been like, "Would it be rude of me to point these things out? Cuz I'm not wanting to be rude but leaving these things unadddressed means I'm not being a responsible reader because I'm not helping the author." Her advice is always, if you have to ask, don't say it and that's what I've followed.
But my brain being what it is, I've just wanted to know in general, do authors who share their works want anything constructive because I feel bad if I don't say anything cuz my brain equates it to leaving someone to "look bad" even though they don't know these things exist.
Now I know that, in general, what's important to authors isn't technicalities; authors just want to share what they love and (hopefully) reach others who love it too. This genuinely gave my brain permission to relax lol idk why I am the way that I am ... but I am so thank you to OP for spelling it out in a way that gave me an answer to a question I've had for years and will now help me to angst less when I finish stories 🙏🏼
So a few days ago I got a comment on one of my stories. It was not the worst comment I have ever gotten but it was not nice either. I found it rude, demanding, and condescending. I confess, my reply to this comment was snarky and sarcastic.
I then got a reply from the poster claiming they were very blunt due to being neurodivergent and that they could not help it. They just wanted me to write them a story. I had ruined their good opinion of me.
I wrote back apologizing for hurting their feelings. I explained they had also hurt my feelings and that my response was partially in response to that, partially because I know who comments like that affect authors. That we work hard on our stories. I pointed out they had not even said they liked my story. I gave them advice on how they could have phrased their comment instead that would have made it less offensive to the author. At this point I was going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah no, they sent another response calling it victim blaming and cyber bullying. The victim blaming was pointed out solely in response to the first line they said which was 'I am sorry your feelings were hurt' Also got an accusation of name calling, which no I did not. At this point I am just going to delete their comments and block them.
For people who consider themselves to be blunt but want to consider the author's feelings as well, here is some comment advice. The comment I received that started this was 0/4.
Tell the author you liked their story. You can put details or even just a line of heart emojis. If you did not like the story, silence is golden. Please use the back button.
Do not be demanding. We are not machines. Something like, 'I can't wait to see what happens' next is fine 'UPDATE' is not
It is fine to share ideas, but just like in 2. do not be demanding. Unless the author has asked for prompts, do not have expectations
Unless an author has asked for it, no constructive criticism. It is fiction, let the author write what they want.
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horror has KR dust can't be affected by KR unless it's by another version of himself. horror's (somehow) still a judge dust wants repentance for his wrongdoings,,,, someone must see where i'm going with this
i just wanna imagine like if dust ever feels like he's doing something wrong (like having thoughts about gaining LV again or something,,,,) he'll just ask horror to give him like. a quick little punch. hit him with a bone fragment because he needs to feel his sins crawling on his back from a true judge,,,,
and then horror's more than happy to do it 😁😁😁 he winds that shit up before he bitch slaps dust :33 oh you need to be judged DONT WORRY DUST horror is a totally impartial judge that totally won't find your situation both ridiculous and entertaining 😁😁
#something something this can totally be morphed into a more toxic dynamic#dust keeps asking to get hit.... horror totally agrees#but yk he feels BAD because of course he'd feel bad he still has some sort of fucked up morals#buuuut then again dust IS asking for it.... and he's saying that it'll improve himself!! AND ok maybe horror likes seeing him beat up SO WH#dust thinks that he needs this to stop the thoughts that he has and accidentally slipping into the LV grind mindset#and horror's nice (?) enough to do it!! dust isnt doing this to fufill his own hatred of himself. THIS IS TO IMPROVE HIMSELF!!!!#and also maaaaybe just an eensy bit so he can give horror that mental struggle abt dust since he always thinks that he's better than hin#i'm sorry i cant do toxicity if its not equal on both ends i HATE IT when toxic relationships have like.... 100/0 toxicity in them#i've been LOCKED IN TODAY with writing what the hell#me when i write more than 3 words after not writing since fucking MAY of this year#yeaaaah its soooo fun detailing how i think the trio met eachother#(i am dreading the part where i have to make dust and horror meet killer but ill deal w it later)#i have ideas...... i have bountiful ideas....... i only fear that i write something that none of these 3 would do or say or think..........#ill totally post the dust and horror sections once im done with horror's#but once again..... i fear of killer's section...... i will probably cry during it slash half joking#idk bc i dont want horror's part to be disproportionately longer than dusts.......#and killer's will probably be EVEN LONGER!!! which i DONT like#UGH is it so bad to just want killer to experiment on horror and dust the minute he sees them for the first time IS IT IS IT SO BAD#and then dust and horror have a little mini fight about who gets to be named sans :3333#AND THEN I WANNA GIVE THEM CUTE LITTLE TEMPORARY NICKNAMES UNTIL THEY GET TO SMTH NEW :33333#because killer would know their coded names but horrortale residents wouldnt. horror gets to be named red and dust purple!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!#horror cant do more than just ONE hit because dust's KR would probably affect him massively#the og hit is just like 6 dmg and then the KR lasts for like 20 seconds and then dust's at 3/99 HP 💀#tricule hc#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#horrordust is so silly my favorite pair of mildly tense abt eachother yet surface level friendly frenemies!!! YES!!!!! I LOVE HRDT!!!! ❤️💜
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REALLY nice job on BJ's ''WHAT''expression in that one panel. Looks straight out of the show! I've been watching this entire saga unfold and...ugh you're putting so much into it and its paying off I'm on the edge of my damn seat lmao THE AUDIO POSTS GAVE ME CHILLS-
I hope this won't sound odd bc like…I know it's probably just a textured brush, but parts of the stripes on his suit almost look like you went in and manually colored them (Almost like with a traditional marker on paper!!), instead of just a fatter brush size/bucket fill on digital.
It's really cool?? IDK if that's what you did (OOF if it was I admire your dedication for all those stripes!!), but I love that ''scribbly'' look about your art. I hope ''scribbly'' doesn't offend, I mean this in a REALLY good way I promise. I just love how...lovingly and passionately handmade your beetleverse art always is
that's actually exactly what i did! all of BJ's stripes are filled in by hand. so is lydia's hair. every hard black #000000 you see was manually scribbled in because i love how the texture looks, especially when i'm doing stuff with tim burton characters. the brush i use for it is the same one i use for the lineart, which is already a bit textured too. i don't even use the bucket fill for the flat colors, i like coloring things in even if it takes me a bit longer. i love coloring lol
but thank you so much!! i'm so happy to see people are enjoying this little saga because i'm having a blast telling this story. we are getting close to the end, but this'll be a lengthy scene.
i hope everyone is ready 👀
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Ok, so I can't stop thinking about Viktor in Arcane lmao
Not so much because I like him (which I do lmao) but more because his arc seems like convoluted mess of knots at first glance, and I don't understand it completely and I need to put this puzzle together
Also, honestly Arcane it's the perfect case for why "show, don't tell" isn't always good as it left a lot of things incredibly vague, things I think they should've stopped and clarify more
So let me take his character apart from the beginning to understand him
Spoilers btw
First I want to talk about Viktor's disability because apparently it was a big deal
I say apparently because at first I thought it wasn't a big deal for Viktor, it was just part of who he was
Like the first time we see him, he's confident, he seems secure in himself and the show itself doesn't seem to make a big deal out of him using his cane
But turns out that getting rid of his disability it was actually a big deal for Viktor and I want to search for an explanation that isn't that the writers probably had a subconscious bias about disability
Tbh I always thought that it was kind of implied that Viktor's disability was a result of his parents being exposed to dangerous chemicals in Zaun, like it wasn't just his sickness that was a result of being born in Zaun, but also his leg, don't know if it's just me but anyway the author is dead moving on
I'm saying this because it would make sense at least for Viktor to think that way. Because in his mind it's his disability = his sickness = the problems in Zaun. These three things aren't different for him, is one and the same problem that needs to be solved
This is also shown when Viktor is experimenting in himself with the Hexcore and instead of doing something that might help him idk stop coughing blood, the first thing he does is trying to undo his disability. And I've seen some people ask why the hell is Viktor more worried about his disability than the thing that's actually killing him. It's because in Viktor's mind is the same thing
Now, we can actually see hints that Viktor might resent his disability (and Zaun by extension) in the boat scene when he's a child, where even though his genius is great, his disability stops him from reaching the boat, from reaching his full potential (at least in Viktor's mind)
He resents not being able to be who he wants, who he could be if he had been born in Piltover and puts the blame on his disability and Zaun
This actually makes sense with later scenes when Viktor and Jayce show off what they've been working on to Heimmerdinger, the gauntlets and the claw (arm?). If Viktor and Jayce were working on these two things separately, very telling that Viktor's project (the claw) focuses on artisans, who are still "a step above" than the miners Jayce is focusing on. But if they're working together on the projects, we see that Viktor actually doesn't really wants to help Zaun
Because, what are these? Gauntlets and a claw to make people work faster? These are the solutions Viktor (and Jayce) come up when confronted with Zaun's problems, not actually helping them attack the root of the the problem. Like Miners have to spent hours working in dangerous conditions that affect their health? Well, let's give them something so they can work faster. This is merely palliative care, not caring to actually solve the real problem
Which leads me to the next point, Viktor doesn't actually wants to help Zaun to become a better place, he wants to get rid of the Zaun of now and transform it in Piltover 2.0. In his mind this isn't about helping Zaun, but getting rid of the thing that caused his disability and sickness, metaphorically eliminating them both
We can see this in Viktor's commune
Because, Zaun, even when it looks dirty and dark, all in all doesn't look ugly, like any place where poor people live, it's also full of individuality and self expression, art that's fighting to exist. Compare it to Piltover's Art deco and art nouveau inspired architecture that while, yes, everything looks very beautiful, it also looks very same-y
Viktor's commune also looks very same-y and in a way a bit Piltover inspired. Contrast Viktor's commune to the alternative universe we see where things are better in Zaun, it looks brighter and cleaner, but it also didn't lose any of the self expression and individuality that Zaun has. Individuality that is lost in Viktor's perfect world
Because again, it wasn't about Zaun, or about helping people, it was about Viktor taking something, destroying it, and substituting it with something he believes to be perfect. Perfect without any kind of disabilities that might hold Viktor back (which isn't true but that's what Viktor believes)
This sentiment later comes back when he tries his glorious evolution
Now about Jayce
Part of why I didn't understand Viktor's characterization at first was because I wasn't seeing the whole, I was missing a crucial part of the puzzle, and that was Jayce
At first I thought that Viktor was only interested in Jayce because of his idea of Hextech. But no.
The first time Viktor and Jayce meet, Viktor seems only mildly interested in Jayce's idea, but not enough to actually do something to help him, he was there because he had a job to do, he had to make sure that Jayce was arrested, only that
It wasn't until the judgement that Viktor actually takes an interest in Jayce, but not because of his idea
Viktor was attracted by Jayce's willingness to defend what he thought was right even when everyone else went against him. His personality and fierceness was the thing that later made Viktor take another look at Jayce's investigation
Compare it to how Mel first approached Jayce
Mel and Viktor are very similar in that both want to make something perfect (Mel wants a perfect Piltover, Viktor wants a perfect Zaun and later a perfect world), but they have different motivations. Mel wants to make a perfect city so that she later can gift it to her mother and prove that she's worthy of her love and affection, and that she's worthy of being part of her family
So in the judgment, Mel first sees and is interested by Jayce's idea, because it's something that can get her closer to her goal of being back with her family. Later she's interested in the inventor
But with Viktor is the opposite, he first is interested in Jayce as a man, that's what later attracts him to his dream
(Side note It's also worth noting that I think Arcane takes away Jayce's role in LoL of being Viktor's rival and gives it to Mel. More than that, with both Mel and Viktor being mages and Mel's magic being the thing that stops Viktor during the first fight between him and Jayce. I think that if Mel was more powerful, or Viktor was less overpowered [what the fuck arcane's writers, he's literally a freaking God] she could've stopped him)
Now this is important because I truly don't think Viktor's characterization makes sense unless he genuinely likes/loves Jayce without ulterior motives
In the rest of the first season, we see how Viktor slowly self isolates, in part because Jayce is leaving him behind to be with Mel, so that leads to Viktor taking more and more risks in a bit of a self destructive way, and I think this is in part because Jayce isn't with him. He probably also thinks it's his sickness the thing that's making Jayce go away, that's why he's trying to hide it in the beginning but I'm not to sure about that lmao
This later causes Sky's death, and I think her death is very important for Viktor. Not because he actually feels something for her, but because it's something that makes him feel very guilty
Because, if in the first season Viktor's actions were motivated in part because Jayce went away, then why Viktor's first instinct is to go away in the second season?
It's because of the guilt
In Viktor's mind he not only killed Sky, he's now the thing that killed sky. That plus the fact of how Jayce's acted during the bridge, hating on the zaunites. He probably thinks that Jayce doesn't care about him anymore
When he says "it was affection that held us together" he probably didn't mean it in a "I don't care about you anymore" but more in a "you don't care about me anymore, and you probably shouldn't anyway because there's no reason for you to do so"
When he goes away and creates a cult in Zaun, it's because Viktor is trying to redeem himself and make their dream come true. Viktor's commune is his version of their dream, a little bubble of perfection in an imperfect world
Of course that's not what Jayce wanted or meant when he thought about their dream, but that's just how Viktor misinterpreted it
That's why he's so insistent that Jayce go to see him after he's back from the future, because their dream wouldn't be complete unless it was both of them in it
So when Jayce shoot him, Viktor didn't think that maybe what he was doing was wrong, or that maybe he was crossing a line he shouldn't. When Jayce shoot him, he took it as Jayce rejecting not only their dream, but also Viktor himself
So he was hurt, he was angry. And in his hurt, the first thing he did was trying to justify his emotions by logic. The problem wasn't that what Viktor wanted was wrong. The problem was those pesky emotions messed everything up and if he just could get rid of them then their dream would become true and truly perfect (and Jayce wouldn't reject him). So he needed to get rid of emotions it didn't matter if he hurt the entire world (and Jayce) in his path to do so, more than that it was justified in his mind
I see what Viktor did after Jayce shoot him as he basically saying "I was trying to do this in the nice way, but now I'm angry and I'll show you what I'm truly capable of"
Ironically, his speech about what motivates humanity's greatest good is also what makes them do their greatest evil applies to Viktor 100%, his affection for Jayce is the thing that motivates him to help and to hurt everyone else
I also think that Viktor knew he was in part taking away some of the free will of the people in the commune, he probably just thought it wasn't doing them any harm, just taking away their "disability"
Now, in the future, Viktor realized that perfection, getting rid of humanity's mistakes, and getting rid of his disability; wasn't what he truly wanted, the thing that he truly wanted was to not be alone, and to be worthy of love, and Jayce was the only one who didn't make Viktor feel alone. So when Jayce hugged Viktor and showed him what he saw, I actually think it was like Viktor of the future telling his past self "this is not what you want, this is a mistake"
I also don't think Viktor learned to accept his disabilities in the end; because a heartfelt speech about loving yourself isn't going to make you forget a life of prejudice just like that lmao
But I do think that in that moment when Jayce showed him the future, he recognized that what he was doing was a mistake and stopped
In the end he got what he truly wanted, which was not being alone, being loved, and to be with Jayce, even if their dream of making the world a better place didn't become true
I read somewhere that Viktor in the game was inspired by Doctor Doom, and Idk if that's true. But if I had to compare Arcane Viktor to somebody in Marvel, it would be the Scarlet Witch (here I am thinking about fanart of Viktor dressed as the Scarlet Witch lmao), an extremely powerful being that gets carried away by their emotions, and ends up doing horrible things with good intentions
Yeah, I understand him a bit better now lmao
#ramblings#arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayvik#viktor#jayce x viktor#mel medarda#arcane analysis#character analysis#I know normally I just analyze the Il/iad#BUT I HAD TO UNDERSTAND HIM#I just. what the hell is up with Viktor? it intrigues me#This is literally just putting my thoughts process on words lmao#Also. I just have a vague idea about league of legend's lore#So there might be something here that contradicts the lore™️#But honestly apparently everything in Arcane contradicts the lore™️#so lmao#disability
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This might be an unpopular opinion but: I think it's better that they didn't kiss.
First, the elephant in the room: queerbaiting, which is a term I've seen thrown around. I think Fortiche showed us that they were willing and able to show us queer relationships "going there". So I don't think that really applies here.
Second, the slightly smaller elephant in the room: There are all types of relationships out there and not all of them need to kiss to be valid. Both romantic relationships without physical intimacy, and strong platonic relationships are valid.
But on a deeper level, I think it's important to recognize how much their relationship was rooted in their mutual respect for each other as intellectuals, and being forehead to forehead, mind to mind, is such a beautiful depiction of them coming together in the way they've always come together. For them specifically, kissing would just be A Thing That People Do I Guess. Like, it'd be fine? It just wouldn't have as much meaning IMO.
idk man I have to go through and do a rewatch to put everything together all at once, I just can't help but feel that this is the best ending we could have asked for, in the context of the series. Natch, I'd love for them to hold hands and run off into the sunset and do laundry and taxes together. :') But I think their story is beautiful, not just despite the ambiguity, but because of it.
And while I'm here, I want to say how expert it is to be able to write an ambiguous ending like this that still feels satisfying. That's fucking crazy. And yeah a lot of my reblogs have been centered around doomed yaoi because the tropes are all up my alley, but I think everyone's story is fantastic. Arcane was so good I just can't get over it.
i just need to express my love for this scene.
they literally coalesced in the most beautiful way imaginable. and i've been seeing a lot of people upset with the lack of a kiss. but, this scene should make very clear the love they hold for one another, and i actually enjoy it more without a kiss. touching forheads like this is actually a form of affection seen in the undercity, too. (cry) but what im trying to say is that their destinies are literally intertwined now forever, in every single timeline they will find each other. they were doomed to their own fates to save eachother. and jayce CHOSE to die with viktor, viktor pushed him away. he knew that this was his own end. jayce would rather die than live WITHOUT viktor. I MEAN, COME ONNNN. SOBBINGGGG. all viktor wanted was acceptance. in season 1 jayce would refer to viktors illness as a burden, and viktor in his machine form was his way of ridding himself of all his imperfections, as well as for everyone else. he wanted peace by eliminating human suffering.
but jayce realized viktors beauty in his imperfections. he loves him with them, and showed viktor he was never broken.
and that my friends is HOW DOOMED GAY YAOI SAVED ALL OF HUMANITYYY (and ekko ml) RAHHHH
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Hey Ghoul saw you were doing therapy on your anons so I am here NOT to request therapy but to ask for idk tips, thoughts, opinions
How the fuck do you realise someone's flirting with you? How do you flirt back? I've found myself realising I was in a date while I was IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DATE so clearly my skills need work lmao
People always tell me "Oh, you need to be confident" and like. I'm plenty confident. I'm outgoing, I can talk to a wall, I'm a good storyteller, I like to think I'm quite funny. So it's not that I'm scared to talk to people.
It's just that... Apparently I flirt without realising and then end up in situations because I DIDN'T KNOW
And then when I actually Like™ someone I simply become a wet mop and that's why I've always been single (no, kidding, I've always been single because the people interested in me were not people I was interested in and on top of it they had to explicitly tell me because I didn't realise so it was all very awkward 😭)
Actually this is a wonderful question/looking for tips that you've brought me because I have a real answer to this!
Statistically speaking, and according to the university of Kansas, people are ASS at telling when someone is flirting with them. Genuinely we as humans are so bad at distinguishing what is and isn't flirting that we reliably can't tell who is flirting with us and who isn't. It's truly a wonder the human race has lasted this long.
A lot of it is environmental as well, so in places where people are looking for flirting they're more likely to assume people are flirting with them, and vice versa.
Now in terms of you flirting with other people I have no advice. There's so many tips out there and all of them will feel unnatural to you. The only way to flirt with someone is to have a genuine interest in them, and then you'll just sort of do it subconsciously. I don't think I've ever consciously flirted with Mr. Ghoul but somehow he's in the picture. So idk man.
Uh otherwise men are more likely to assume you're flirting just by being nice to them because they've been socialized to associate attention with interest, and women will never assume other women are flirting with them because they've been raised to see compliments and casual intimacy as natural between friends(which is great but girl I'm trying to fuck u please). So you're really just better off doing what you're doing and being your charming self.
If all else fails it's really flattering to have someone straight up tell you "I'm flirting with you." Also you can always ask for clarification, most people will find it cute.
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Shifting Priorities
Thank you for all the nice comments yesterday! Some really helpful perspectives that gave me a lot of ideas on how I can tackle my simmer's block :)
Mostly, I think I need to trim down the number of neighbourhoods I consider "active" and the amount of projects I am doing in general. I have a hard time letting go of neighbourhoods, especially if I am still somewhat invested in them! But I also need to face the fact that I only have so much free time, and do not want playing the sims to be the sole thing I do with that free time XD
For some neighbourhoods I will also be trying out a more stripped-down approach to blogging, similar to what I've been doing with Driftwood. It makes me a little sad because I like my sims to feel fleshed out as characters and giving them voices is a big part of that! But maybe I can save the prose/dialogue for times when it is particularly needed, rather than including it as a default.
Finally, I am going to prioritise based on what I actually have the most fun with, rather than letting popularity drive my decisions!! Some neighbourhoods I feel sad about potentially retiring because I know people enjoy them, or I feel bad admitting I am never going to finish projects people were excited for, but I have to remember simming is something I do for myself, not for popularity or for other people.
So, plans for my neighbourhoods:
Pleasantview Plus - will continue in its current form for the most part, but holdholds I found less inspiring will just get short summaries rather than extensive documentation. This hood is waaaaaaay too big and I think not that many people follow it all that closely, but it's also my one true love and I would like to start prioritising it again rather than it always being on the backburner
Uberhood Challenge (YouTube Series) - This is a short-term series, and will continue as planned until I finish the challenge, which I'm over halfway through :)
Hollyhead - I hate to say it because I know a lot of people love it, but I feel like I have sorta outgrown this neighbourhood? Some simmers like their settings to be an escape from the real world, and when I made Hollyhead I think it was what I needed too, but these days I find how upbeat & wholesome it is a bit, idk, constraining?? I crave drama and conflict in my stories!! I also have kinda lost interest in the BACC rules and have started to find it more book-keeping and hassle for what I get out of it... Whenever I do open the neighbourhood I still really enjoy actually playing it, and I love the characters so much, but I just haven't found the events interesting enough to want to write about. I think this neighbourhood will not be retired completely (yet), but I will move towards writing much shorter updates in the form of newspaper articles and see if that helps. If by the end of this season I still feel ehhh about it, I might formally end it <3
Driftwood - no complaints about this hood, I'll probably continue with the current style of documenting major events & new builds only
Spruceburg (YouTube series) - I would like to do another season of this next year, after I finish the uberhood challenge! But I will probably go for a schedule of like, one season of series per year, rather than posting consistantly. I enjoy YouTube a lot, but its a lot of work too and I think has majorly taken away from my blogging time this year, which I am mourning now lol!!
The Fiero Legacy - it is probably time to throw in the towel with this and admit I just don't enjoy playing legacy style or with story progression that much! I always enjoy the period where the heir is dating but once they settle down and have kids it becomes a chore and a grind, plus with story progression's time system I always feel rushed and like I can't take a sim out of the house for an outing without potentially missing important milestones - the urban setting feels so wasted when its all family gameplay, haha. Hallie should be at the club!! It was an interesting experiment and a nice change of pace, but idk if I really see myself returning to it. I love the sims themselves and the setting, but whenever I actually load up the neighbourhood I just feel kinda stressed and overwhelmed :(
As for my building projects like Belladonna Cove, perhaps at some point I will get really inspired and return to them but for now they are on indefinite break. I remember saying a few time in the past that I didn't really feel much need to make over Pleasantview and Strangetown because if I wanted nice makoevers I would use frottanas, and tbh I feel the same way about Belladonna Cove - if I was playing it I would just use plumbtales makeovers XD With my past neighbourhood makeovers I was really inspired to make them because there wasn't anything out there that was exactly what I wanted but, well, there's loooooads of nice Belladonna cove makeovers these days so I just don't feel much drive to make my own version I guess?? I think I also have lost interest in building a little becasue I am no longer into super heavily decorated lots - I prefer lighter lots that won't cause lag lol! So yeah, I am probably not retiring from building forever but its no longer a priority for me :)
#blog maintenance#a lot of these were already on unofficial hiatus but hopefully making it more official will clear up my brain :)
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idk if you have seen the #womeninmenfilelds trending going on. but i can’t help but to think of y/n doing it with svech. he gives off fuckboy vibes so he will probably do something fuckboish and y/n would do an uno reverse and do something similar and he will just be like wtf
⁎⠀┉⠀author's note: #womeninmalefields
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You strutted into the dimly lit bar, the clack of your stilettos echoing through the narrow hallway. The air had the scent of spilled beer and the faint waft of nachos. Your eyes scanned the room, searching for the familiar face among the rowdy patrons. You spotted him in the corner, hunched over the bar, nursing a pint of something frothy and chilled. Andrei. The six-foot-two Russian tower of muscle and nerves who had somehow wormed his way into your heart and your bed.
He glanced up, noticing your entrance, and you watched as his eyes grew wide, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. You couldn't help but smile back, despite the conversation the two of you were about to have. Walking over, you slid onto the barstool next to him, crossing your legs and leaning an elbow on the counter. The bartender nodded in your direction, and you ordered a Sprite.
"Hey, Svechy," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Miss me?"
Andrei looked over, his cheeky grin widening. "Always," he said, his Russian accent thick as ever. He took a sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving yours. You rolled your eyes but couldn't hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of your mouth.
"So," you began, twirling the straw in your drink as it arrived, "I've been thinking about what you said."
Andrei put down his pint, his expression suddenly earnest. "And?"
You sighed, your smile fading into a faux look of contemplation. "I'm still not ready for a relationship, hun."
The silence between the two of you was as cold as the drink in your hand. Andrei's eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of wavering in your resolve. "Why not?" he asked, his voice low and curious.
You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the inevitable conversation. "It's not that I don't like you, Andrei. It's just… I've been down this road before. It never ends well for me." You took a sip of your Sprite, the bubbles fizzling against your teeth. "I'm not ready to risk what we have over a relationship that might not work out."
Andrei's face fell, and you could see the hurt in his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, then leaned closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "But we've been acting like a couple for months now. I thought you felt the same way."
You suppressed a smug smile, but you held firm. "I know, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to put a label on it. We have fun, and that's enough for me."
Andrei's gaze dropped to the bar, his thumb tracing the condensation on his glass. "But I want more," he murmured.
Your heart skipped a beat. You had been expecting this, but hearing it out loud was still jarring. You placed a comforting hand on his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin through his sleeve. "I know," you said gently. "But you're a big boy, and you knew the deal when we started this. No strings, remember?"
Andrei nodded, looking up at you with a mix of frustration and sadness. "But things change, kisa. Feelings change."
"I know they do, Andrei, but that doesn't mean we should rush into something just because we're comfortable." You took another sip of your drink, the carbonation bubbling to the surface. "Let's just keep doing what we're doing, okay?"
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I think... this puts to word some of what I felt was kinda of with how handled things. Some anyway. I've been trying to articulate what feels... off. It's rough so bear with me trying to untangle more of it... and I'm so sorry but this is a wall... on your post... tell me if you want me to make my own and just link to this instead.
When it comes to Jayce's little speech there's this line, as an example...
And what got me immediately here is... when have we really been shown that to be true, to "always" be true? I felt like this was an assumption put onto Viktor by the writers. Internalized ableism is a bitch, but I think they're doing a lot here with the implication of "always". Disabled folks all have our own journeys with it, but I don't think moments of falling prey to it- is something that should define his whole historic relationship to his disability. (Also one's allowed to vent about one's experiences with one's disability and the realities of how one's met with in the world, without it being taken as a diminishing of one's own worth.) And as you say, none of that really address the whys of the structural aspects affecting him both physically and mentally. Like (in regards to the internalized ableism) what is it that is constantly trying to make those shards of pain and inadequacy they'd put in him- to expand and consume, despite whatever fight he'd put up against it on either the internal or external front? And then there's also the difference between wanting to manage one's disability and... you know, hoping to cure one's *terminal* illness in fear of death's face.
I won't deny other disabled people feeling any comfort in those words. I do think there's something delicate and meaningful in having someone care for you and remind you of your worth when those shards, unwittingly or not, have spread and festered a wound in your self perception, because people keep saying it should be there and trying to create it if it's not. It's not that it can't be or isn't impactful, but... was that it? The big message? In combination with everything else, it felt more... preachy? And to a certain degree patronizing? The issue is that I felt *talked at* from someone's able-bodied* perspective. *Yes, even if Jayce no longer is non-disabled himself, that current commonality isn't emphasized, and even so- disabilities and disabled experiences aren't 1 = 1 (this applies to me too), never mind the *terminal* aspect, his leg's also an acquired disability.
Okay so what only ever Jayce apparently managed to have Viktor see, was essentially: "only you can show me that perfection perceived is not something worth seeking- an empty reward. There's beauty in imperfections", or something right? And his mode of attack was... that. Idk I am left unimpressed. I understand the point of putting value on perceived "imperfections", and that Viktor (could... actually... I had a whole section on internalized ableism I removed lol. But.)... that his disabilities could be and was perceived as "imperfections" within his new framework (btw, I saw him using the hexcore on his bad leg as a means to test out his chances for curing his terminal illness- 🤔 not really as a "I kinda just really wanted to cure my leg idk", and it would make for the most obvious results if it worked without messing with the vital organs of his torso, though he was only allowed to keep it for so long by that hexcore). But also, the philosophy he presents was more about than just his own disability or actual terminal illness (!!), it's about a flawed perspective on the general human condition, put to the extreme after Viktor became increasingly isolated (despite being surrounded by people mind and body, "we are one") and grew further detached, partly to the nature of his new existence* (*thoughts to be had here though, and also, whatever happened to the build up and clarification of to whatever degree the hexcore itself influenced him?).
Motive: on his desire to help others, emotionality.
A core part of Viktor's character is his desire to help and aid people, particularly those of the Undercity, and with Jayce it becomes about helping people through the science of hextech (a renewable and non-exhaustive energy source, I think there's a Point there) (tho I've gotta say... their presented products in S1Act2... can't say it's impossible for geniuses to be kinda dumb, it wasn't what I expected anyhow lmao). Act 3 Viktor, post-"imperfections of emotions and individual agency leads to pain and strife, as the other inextricably bound side of the coin = humanity's self-corrupting contradiction" conclusion, basically ended up out there trying to calculate himself to solving human suffering on an evolutionary level (truly Singed's apprentice that way), which was just eugenics in the end.
Even if that point of validation, of acceptance, is nice, especially when previously thought something forsaken to you... and despite what some would previously read/portray him within fandom- he DOES care about the interpersonal, like there's a reason he clings onto that goddamn tattered blanket 😭 And he continues to make a point of wanting Jayce by his side again in both act 2 and 3. But I still feel like it misses the "point" when the majority of the focus ends up on "you're doing this because of internalized ableism but I'm telling you that you matter actually, to me". I feel like it simplifies a lot to draw such conclusions of the matter, and make that the most effective point of "attack". I mean- seeing himself and what he was about to make the world into- kinda did after the mask broke a bit. But- other than Viktor's lines of "why do you persist? After everything I've done?", the "you were never broken" ends up defining this important built up scene. And I dislike this focus that completely overrides the structural issues involved, and basically works as a good-feel band-aid. I dislike the way Viktor's character motivation feels reduced to that point, with that "always" in particular, as well as the "only you" when that was the conviction made. Combating ableism 101.
Like I get he's attacking the personal projections that could drive the conviction, but he sorta kinda didn't hit all the marks there. Uh- not to say that I don't know he's just being sincere here as well, in expressing his care and love for Viktor. But I feel like it works as a deflection that shouldn't have been entirely effective on its own (yes the future-vision, but it's not emphasized in a way I'd like), story-wise anyway. I thought maybe they'd emphasize more on the emotional part, of his overall self-perception and of Viktor hurting (and not just in the "internalized ableism" way) despite however unaffected he might or might not seem (def not all gone). I can see Viktor in his state of upset and alienation of his body (and mind?)... see that hurt (grown from affection) as something, on a personal level, that holds or has held him back from actually follow up on those dreams of helping people (which become *that* in result). And with the access to the power that he has... conveniently think to attempt ridding himself of it, distancing himself, rather than process it. There's a certain... distancing happening just from that nature of having access to the experiences of so many people too, through that hivemind even if it's the most intimate thing as well and would stir a lot of emotion within him. And then there's him getting offed by Jayce in act 2 where he has his whole "two sides of the same coin" moment, and in the end, seeing "the glorious revolution" as a final calculated solution to strife (and- perhaps his own internal strife). There's something too to that "the line" sequence after being rejected in episode 8. But yea, there is a point here that could have been made in terms of valuing "imperfections" of the human condition, but it's... not really being made? "They're part of everything that makes you you, and everything that I admired about you" (paraphrasing), sure, but what about some emphasis on other things idk. He's more than that and all that, but I feel like they ironically made everything about his disabilities instead, and I'm dreading the state of readings and depictions🧍
(Btw on that note of "part of what makes you you", I did like that even the herald still had his braces and ect. fused to his body, and even glowing up in the astral plane. I liked that the ones that were "cured", was not left unmarked by the change. Of note- a lot of those people seemed to have had similar conditions to Viktor, in the sense that they affected the limbs. Pretty sure that one kid who led Jayce was the kid in a wheelchair beside Ekko in ep 7 when watching Heimerdinger's performance)
Also, I would... have liked... more of him taking a side with the Undercity though... and agency, non-agency, death, transformation…go rage some my guy 🔥
Motive: on Piltover / Zaun, the structural.
So on another point... a very important aspect here for Viktor IS that initial dream of theirs WITH the sociopolitical circumstances. Before all of the cult stuff, the main tension between Jayce and Viktor is the matter of the Undercity and how they're dealing with the hextech (I've kinda wanted to make a post about it). And similarly with catvi and the story otherwise, that element does not get as acknowledged, and it suffers for it. Their dynamic and history is not removed from its sociopolitical context. And there... is something to that shard of insecurity impacting him more than he'd thought. But what it comes back to- is the structural injustices he has been faced with both as disabled and a Zaunite/someone of the Undercity. Like his terminal illness was literally fucking because of the damn injustices Piltover inflicted upon them, majorly didn't care to fix and would punish people for protesting. And as I said, their common initial dream, was essentially about helping people through the science of hextech, like- people of the Undercity. Something which they failed to follow up on, and then Viktor was dying, accidentally involved Sky in his own risky business that resulted in her death and him getting suicidal, then- died from Jinx's attack- frankensteined in violation of his agency (!!!)- and then Viktor leaves Jayce *after seeing the hextech weapons plans* (double betrayal). And there really is something to Sky's significance here... But yea, Viktor leaves with a totem to those hopeful dreams, in order to try to help or aid people of the Undercity with the new abilities he had. Like he's not wrong for wanting to do that, I get why he'd just up and leave. His philosophy about things resulting into the idea of a "glorious evolution" to solve human strife and the details of those transformation do essentially just become eugenics in the end though (btw, whatever was their choices with "all those willing" to forceful turning...?).
I think there are ways they could have explored further nuances around all of this, but like with the other things, the journey was cut short and simplified. In a sense I'm glad he had more agency than people were speculating, but at the same time... And I think there is a Choice done in making Viktor's "glorious evolution" the bigger bad (together with Ambessa and whatever she was doing all of that for), AND that it served as a way to override majorly every other conflict by presenting a bigger bad for Zaun and Piltover to "unite against a common enemy" for. If they'd emphasized more on him being a reaction to those injustices, with a hexcore boost, to Piltover's structural injustices against the Undercity (which includes that social model of disability), then maybe it could work more. AND with it having a presence in the Viktor-Jayce confrontation/resolution. But it's more "both sides"-ing the issue, with its favour in Piltover's hands despite it all. And like- "I dreamt about giving magic to the people-" yes, but what was the reason why? I'll give him points for the "now" in "now I only want my partner back" anyhow. Idk, I don't see the disregard of the implicit "wanting to help people" part as a win. Though it's presented through the emphasis of "magic" which has been demonstrated as... sinister to a degree, but also... not? Potentially. But the magic was never THE issue.
Even on just the interpersonal level between the too (which it's not restricted to at all)- I, again, dislike this focus that completely overrides the structural issues, and works as a good-feel band-aid. It needs to extend further, and sure it does in a sense on the individual basis with his choice to stay with Viktor even when he gave him an out. But as an important message moment? It doesn't demonstrate enough to extend outside of it, because we don't see it applied in different contexts, like properly addressing his whys. And with Viktor's one line of "why do you persist? after everything I've done" "because I promised you"... it's not that what Viktor did and was about to do wasn't Fucked Up (and he was having a lot of guilt about accidentally having Sky killed, I can see him getting fixated on trying to "make up for" it somewhat after being brought back to life in his alienated body, and in a sense uh... overcompensating), but idk.. I wish there was something that extended Jayce's way too? That addressed those points of tension in their history? I am not a Jayce-hater, but I don't think he's an uncritical "hero" here. Viktor ends up having little voice at this level despite his speeches (we barely hear him talk after the mask fractured some). And the matter of his forceful transformation, is not really brought up other than potentially with "this chain of events, started with you" in that one council room confrontation. "I never asked for this!"- neither did he <3<3<3. Anyway.
THERE IS SO MUCH TO SAY. But I gotta round it up eventually, so I've cutting off all my other things that found its place on this reblog while I've had it in the drafts.
Agency, disability, biomechanics and transhumanism is a TOPIC though. A topic with many fine lines.
Thank you so much for incredible disability representation!! Huh? Uh, yeah, I guess it's okay that there's no acknowledgement of the social model of disability... Oh, our character's feelings about his body and the treatment he faced aren't really discussed in detail? I guess that's alright. 'You were never broken... there's beauty in imperfection... they made you who you are'? That could be appropriate given context, yeah! Oh, no? Not addressing his pain or the discrimination against him or the fact his disabling factors were preventable?
No acknowledgement of how the world should be made better and safer for people who actually have disabilities? Only a message of 'disabilities don't make you inherently broken' that feels aimed at abled folks? ...Okay.
Anyway... thank you for the incredible disability representation.
#oh there's... SO MANY LAYERS TO THIS WHOLE THING. SO MUCH THAT COULD BE SAID.#arcane#viktor arcane#arcane spoilers#disability#my rambles#long post#disabled
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
–
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
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#YES I love these thoughts thank you#I fully believe that if the scope had stayed contained there would have been plenty of time to tie Ekko into the parent themes too#we could've learned what happened to ekko's parents and learned more about the legacy ekko is carrying on with the firelights#at least he could've been drawn into the warwick plot if the warwick plot still has to be there#the extra kicker to tesla's mom's death is that she died uneducated and tesla spoke of how she would've changed the world#had she had the opportunity to do so. but living in a village in 1800s croatia she didn't have that opportunity#reflecting that in viktor's story would've doubled the gutpunches to his character in realizing that he has been ineffective in piltover#his mother gave him the opportunity that she never had and then he was too late to bring the benefits he wanted for the undercity to her#there is so much potential with jayce's character and ximena especially with how jayce's character has so much to do with image and ideals#and with how jayce never really grapples with where he came from compared to where people from the undercity come from idk#we really just needed a different vision for season 2 because if all the writers had was 2 seasons then a different game plan was needed#i always love seeing your thoughts on the show
AAAHHHH thankyousomuch 💖 I like seeing your thoughts on the show too!
If Ekko was trying to carry on an ideological legacy of his own, it would be a cool comparison to him, Jinx and Vi and bring him back into their shared story instead of sidelining him.
Also, I really how you worded Viktor being "given an opportunity his mother never had and being too late to bring the benefits he wanted for the undercity to her." Like, just reading that breaks my heart but if that actually played out in the show I'd be screaming, crying and falling over lol XD
Edit: Viktor's mom being a character could also add some interesting context/flavor to the song "The Line" now that I'm thinking about it.
And YES, Jayce doesn't really grapple with where he came from. I feel like I've seen different takes as to whether or not he was originally from Piltover and his near-death experience in the mountains was from a trip him and Ximena were on or if they came from somewhere else and ended up settling in there. I'd like to see that clarified on screen because either version would do interesting things for the two of them.
If it was the latter though, it could make for an interesting parallel between him and Mel as immigrants compared to Viktor who's a local and would further feed into the themes of image and ideals with Jayce. I personally would've liked to see more of Jayce grappling with how easily he was let go by people he thought supported him, namely house Kirraman, after being put on trial and how that affects his trust in others/people pleasing tendencies. If he was an immigrant too, that would add onto how he feels about his place in Piltover.
In a different world, with Arcane season 1 having such a focus on fathers, Arcane season 2 has a focus on mothers. The highest stakes remain the Piltover/Zaun conflict.
Mel and Ambessa, Caitlyn and Cassandra, Vi and Jinx and Felicia, Jayce and Ximena, Ekko could have someone too, and you know what? We meet Viktor's mom too. Here's why.
Viktor is inspired by the real historical inventor Nikola Tesla. Today, Tesla's family is usually considered Serbian and they lived in what is now Croatia. His father was an Eastern Orthodox priest and his mother, Đuka Mandić, ran the household, a genius in her own right in several ways, including being a clever seamstress, having an incredible memory, and being an inventor herself because she made tools and appliances to help with household tasks. Letters and pieces of interviews show that Tesla spoke fondly of her and that he felt that his talents came from her.
Tesla lived in Prague, Paris, New York, all over, throughout his career. When he was in his 30's, he was giving lectures in Paris when he got word that his mother was dying of illness. He rushed back to Croatia to see her and was there when she died, devastating him.
Listen, arguments can be made about respectfully reflecting real historical figures' lives in fictional characters - but the good, bad, and ugly parts of Tesla's life have already been ground up and used for parts of Viktor's story and in many other pieces of fantasy media. Just imagine a Viktor who leaves home (this wasn't in the show, but according to the writers, they believe Viktor's mom helped him sneak into the Academy, which makes me think they knew about Đuka and if they had included Viktor's mom, she would have been like her) to attend the Academy, intending to help the undercity someday. Arcane plays out in its usual tragic way. Imagine a plotline where Viktor hears that his mother is dying. He goes to see her, help her, something. She dies in his arms.
Just think about Viktor's mom being the specific example of someone he couldn't save, this moment being the one where he realizes his time in Piltover was spent in vain. Imagine she dies because of the problems Piltover and the Hexgates are causing Zaun, be it the Zaun Gray or the tainted water or what have you. It would tie Viktor's story so much more strongly to the plight of Zaun itself, it would be thematically consistent with the other Arcane characters who lose parents, it could be just one of several concrete examples of Viktor trying to help someone with his own hands, and it would show that he had connections besides Jayce that were tethering him and that Singed's "loneliness is often the byproduct of a gifted mind" really was bullshit (whether Viktor realizes it or not).
#i'm glad you liked my two cents lol#you wrote some really good stuff 👍🏾#arcane spoilers#arcane#ekko#viktor#jayce talis
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One thing I find very interesting, as a learner of German, is Isolde's usage of du when speaking to Kakania. In German, there are three main second person pronouns: du, ihr and Sie. The first two are mainly used in informal and casual settings or when talking to people you're close with (with du being singular and ihr being plural sorta similar to english's y'all) while Sie is used in more formal situations (or situations which require some form of formality) such as talking to strangers, customer service or when you're talking to a doctor/patient. Kakania abides by this and uses Sie when talking to Isolde (such as in her speech at the end of chapter 6) but interestingly, Isolde doesn't reciprocate this and instead uses du when conversing with Kakania in German.
This is super fascinating to me because it implies different levels of closeness within their relationship. Isolde's usage of du implies a level of closeness and intimacy to Kakania as Isolde herself saw Kakania as a close friend (most likely due to the fact that Kakania was once of the few people in Vienna who actually sympathized with her and saw her as a human being) but Kakania's siezen suggests a certain level of estrangement or distance between her and Isolde. Of course. this could just be her maintaining her professionalism as doctors normally use Sie when talking to patients but with how things turned out after chapters 6 and 7, I'd like to think this goes deeper than just formality standards.
#n talks about shit#reverse 1999#isolde#kakania#this is especially depressing when you consider the fact that kakania most likely can't work as a psychiatrist anymore#due to her severe trauma and somewhat outdated treatment methods#in a normal situation she most likely wouldn't have to use Sie with Isolde anymore#but ironically the very same events which lead to that were ones that grew the distance between her and isolde even further#estranging them permanently#leading them unable to interact with each other ever again out of a need for personal safety#the siezen will thus always remain a constant for kakania just like her estrangement with isolde#perhaps one day she'll be able to duzen isolde but fate (bluepoch) is a cruel mistress#if there are any other german r99 speakers then do correct me if i'm wrong because my german isn't that good#i also apologize for any mischaracterization i may have made in this post or the tags#so if there are any isokania brainrot havers out there then feel free to correct me because it's been a while since i've seen chapter 6#might delete idk
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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