#i've had this in the drafts for months but i think i'm brave enough to post it

[goingtolebanon]

[ID: An edit of a tweet by user peet @PeetingDisorder on Twitter from October 27, 2022 at 10:33 AM that reads, "Girlfriend forgot to tie the leash to a tree. I could have ran away but I didn't because I love her." A picture of Alex Horne speaking is edited on top with a half-faded out picture of Greg Davies over the text "girlfriend." /End ID]

[transcendslives]

(This is an older post I drafted, the creator mentioned in it posted their videos probably a month or so ago)

The unfortunate truth is that we live in a world of social media that begs for people to seek clout and attention. Don't get me wrong, the desire for attention is natural. It's not a bad thing to want people to pay attention to you. However this causes issues when one lies and slanders in order to achieve it.

If any of us are on shifttok we've definitely by now been made aware to at least some degree of another user claiming to be a 2020 shifter who lied about the entire thing (and they aren't the first over the years to cause this sort of controversy and will not be the last). I only partially recognize this current accuser, I do believe they probably had some really successful content back then because I'm sure I've seen them before. They just came out and said they lied about the entire thing, and they tacked some other things onto their own confession: They accused other shifters of lying and claimed a lot of BS things about shifting and shifters in general.

Now I won't go point by point because while I have watched all their videos on the matter, I just don't care enough to go back through them and rebut every point. Their arguments are disorganized and seem to be largely vengeful, I don't really take them seriously. Either way these aren't new thoughts, I don't care to debate with someone who's already made their mind up. But I do want to talk about this subject itself.

A lot of us follow other shifters and find inspiration in them. That's normal and so motivating, I know I have a few who I love and trust and their content just motivates me so much. But! I caution us against resting our shifting journeys upon these people, or any people for that matter.

Unfortunately the shifting community, especially on tiktok, is niche and very small in terms of who will put their face and names to it. When you have a community like that, it's very enticing. You can be one of the brave souls to put their identity onto their shifting in the public eye. You'll gain a lot of followers and praise, and you'll sacrifice the fact that your family and friends and coworkers will forever know that you think you can transport yourself to Hogwarts. It's not easy to be a creator in the shifting world, but it does get you attention. And some people just want attention.

Not only because of this, but also because of the nature of the internet and social media in general, I just caution you to make sure you're putting others' shifting journeys in the proper context. As brutal as it is, you cannot ever truly know if someone is lying. You can follow someone and believe them, and have them one day come out and say they were lying. You can see someone and become convinced that they're lying about their shifting, when they've actually been shifting this whole time. You just cannot know. It's not possible to prove if someone has shifted before.

For myself, I try to be level headed and logical about the people I follow. I definitely follow people who I think are lying, and people who I feel firmly are not. I follow both groups because I cannot possibly know the actual truth. I cannot prove or disprove either way. The only thing I know, is that we are in community with one another, and if this person is sharing motivational posts or things of value, that's what matters to me.

And if they're lying? Well they can still actually shift for real, and I want that for them. I've seen many accounts from people who have disbelieved in shifting and then all the sudden found themselves able to shift. Even those who are currently lying are not unable to actually shift. They still can! Anyone can!

When you're on shifting social media, I just caution you to be wary of the way you're viewing your favourite creators. Don't pedestal them, don't let yourself form parasocial bonds with them. Recognize them for who they are - shifters you don't know who are motivating you. These are people in your shifting club. And there is no verification process to join, only trust.

[jedipoodoo]

just imagine it (Wrecker x Reader)

I've had these in my drafts for a year and I'm just now getting to them with three hours until midnight. Happy New Year and happy season two, everyone!

Notes: No warnings, just fluff, New Year's Kiss 😘

Cid's Parlor was loud and boisterous, due in most part to the gentle giant covered in confetti. He wore a cheap cardboard party hat cut in the shape of a crown, matching your party hat. You blushed as he smiled at you from across the room.

You'd barely put down your glass of cider when he made his way across the parlor to stand next to you.

"You havin' fun?" He grinned.

"Lots!" You said.

"Huh?" He yelled back over the sound of the music Omega had picked.

He pulled you over into a quieter corner by the stairs, further from the cocophany of music and celebrations from your friends. Hunter had just enough alcohol to keep him from getting overwhelmed, and Echo could adjust the volume on his headset as Omega swung him around the small dance floor that had been created by pushing the tables to the side.

"I am having fun, thanks for asking," You smiled breathlessly up at Wrecker.

"Good," He beamed back at you and held out a hand, "Dance with me?"

Thrill rushed through your nerves as you took his hand. Wrecker pulled you onto the dance floor with Echo and Omega, spinning you around and holding your hand. Dancing with Wrecker felt like flying. For all his muscles, he had a gentle touch that felt safe, and sent little shocks of electricity bursting across your skin wherever he touched.

After a couple of dances, Wrecker grabbed a couple drinks and brought you over to your quiet corner again.

"So, you made any New Year's Resolutions?" He asked.

"Well, to not getting my butt kicked on missions is a pretty big one," You laughed nervously.

"And you're getting better at it!" Wrecker's compliment went straight to your cheeks, and you nearly choked on your sparkling cider.

"Th-thanks," you stammered.

"No problem! I'm always here to help if you want help training and working out," He winked and toasted you with his glass of cider, and you returned the gesture.

"What about you, any resolutions yet?"

Wrecker set his glass down, running his finger through the condensation that gathered on the side. "Well, I wanna work at being more brave."

"Brave?" You asked in disbelief. You knew that Wrecker was afraid of heights, but it was hard to think of him not being brave.

"I can take on the biggest clankers, and make it out of the biggest explosions, but I have a hard time with being brave to people. I let other people walk over me and ignore me too much, comes from being in a batch like mine, I think."

You placed your hand on top of his, "Do I ignore you?"

Wrecker took a moment to respond. You caught him staring at your hands before he shook his head emphatically.

"N-no! You're amazing!" He insisted, "I chose this resolution because you're always sticking up for me. Not just to people like Cid, but even with my brothers when they get a little snarky."

Your face was hot again.

"I-I'm glad," You said quietly. Your hand squeezed around his, you had completely forgotten you were still holding it.

Wrecker squeezed back, "But there is something I wanna say to you, something else I want to be brave about."

You looked up at him with wide eyes. His own golden eyes sparkled with joy rather than mirth.

"I'm in love with you. I think you're incredible and I would love it if you would go on a date with me."

You blinked, certain that you had misheard him.

Wrecker frowned, fidgeting in a seat that was too small for him.

"Was...was that okay? Echo helped me figure out what to say, I've never done this before. Did I make you uncomfortable?"

You shook your head. "You...you're in love with me?" You finally managed to make your mouth form the words.

"I've been tryin' to show you how I felt for months, but I guess I'm not too good at it, huh?" Wrecker glanced down at the floor, shyly rubbing his arm.

Your mouth opened, but no words came out, all you could do was stare at him.

Wrecker was in love with you?

You wanted to grab his hand again, make him pinch you to convince you that this wasn't a dream, but you couldn't reach him.

"Wrecker, I would really like that."

"Can you say that again?" Wrecker asked, leaning forward with his good ear toward you.

"I like you too!" You tried to yell, but the others began to shout in earnest as they began to count down to the new year.

"What?"

You grunted in frustration and grabbed both sides of his face, turning him towards you.

"I love you too!"

To make sure that the point hit home this time, you pressed your lips to his. It was quick, you didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but it was New Years and now that you knew you'd spent the last few months completely oblivious to Wrecker's romantic advances, you had to make up for lost time.

As you leaned back, Wrecker placed a hand on your back, keeping you from going too far. His forehead rested against yours and he cradled your chin in his hand.

You couldn't hear what he said as Omega continued to scream to welcome the new year, but you felt his words against your lips as he leaned in for another kiss.

"Happy New Year."

Like Wrecker, the kiss was strong, but warm and gentle all the same. He didn't push, rather cradled you in his arms like you were something precious. You reached across the table, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to try and convey how much you trusted him.

"Hey lovebirds! Not in the bar! You'll scare off customers!" Cid whacked the both of you with her staff, but Wrecker shielded you with his arm. He winked at you as Cid walked away, his paper crown knocked askew.

Omega and his brothers were looking at you, half in confusion, half with grins of mischief.

You offered a weak grin as Wrecker wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

"Happy New Year!"

[kafus]

file too big for tumblr so you get a youtube video but HIII I DID IT!! I BEAT THORTON!!! I GOT THE GOLD PRINT BABEY I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO HAPPEN TONIGHT!! months of on and off grinding and then 3 days straight of doing this nearly all my waking hours and losing so many streaks and I DID IT!!! this is one of the hardest things you can do in gen 4 ever i think i'm losing my mind. pthgss battle factory does NOT fuck around

some commentary below the cut if you're interested in my thoughts/strategy while doing this

when i saw whiscash i swapped into scizor because i thought it was safe and i wanted to preserve weavile's strength, speed, and fake out for later... and i did my calcs wrong. i've been hunched over calculators and spreadsheets for hours to have the best odds of winning this streak and somehow i was calculating doubles damage instead of singles so EQ was stronger than i expected. embarrassingly i didn't notice this until someone pointed it out to me after the fact LOL. i don't even know how i didn't catch it, of course EQ does more damage, it's STAB!! so that was actually a pretty damn dangerous switch! but he missed stone edge i am BLESSED stone edge more like stone MISS AHAHAHAFSDKFSDAL

anyway after whiscash was down i let entei take out my scizor because scizor is slow and was already on low HP, if i tried to preserve it it would probably just get outsped and die to a legendary or something later. and entei had two dangerous sets in particular it could possibly be so i really needed to scout its fire move. tbh when i saw entei my heart sank, i knew my team was really weak to fire and that it could be a problem but i just never found any good pokemon to swap while climbing round 7. i just hoped that garchomp resisting and having earthquake would suffice... but the entei had a shuca berry (halves a super effective ground hit) so outrage actually did more damage. if entei crit me at any point it would have been over but otherwise it would have been impossible to take out garchomp in two hits thankfully. and i had a persim berry if outrage ended in two turns and confused me. but didn't end up mattering!

my heart SANK when the focus band proc'd on latios (a 10% chance) but then i was like YES!! THIS IS WHAT WEAVILE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!! THERE'S NO WAY IT PROCS TWO MORE TIMES IN A ROW RIGHT?! because weavile using fake out would give me a chance, and then if focus band proc'd again, the flinch from fake out would let me get a second turn and weavile outspeeds that latios SO it was pretty safe unless i got insanely unlucky. AND IT WORKED OUT!!!!

i dunno if i deserved this win because my round 6 (the round before this one) was INCREDIBLY lucky, like, i got the round 7 staraptor in my draft and it had choice band brave bird and just decimated EVERYTHING except a couple bronzongs which i had a strong vaporeon for, so... it was basically a freebie and then round 7 had some close calls but also i got garchomp from trading with the literal first trainer (who i almost lost to but shhh) and then all the stuff with scizor/whiscash... BUT. it's been long enough i'm TAKING IT

anyways POGGERS

i'm probs gonna upload this battle video to the dns exploit server later but i gotta wait for my parents to go to bed so i'm not interrupting them using wifi by turning on the gen 4 compatible guest wifi lol

(btw if you want to do factory yourself please look up smogon's resources on it and use calcs and stuff i promise without it it will be a living nightmare 10x more than it already is)

[haleingstorm]

20 questions for 20 writers

Thanks @hedgehodgy I've never been tagged in a ask game before

How many works do you have on ao3 5!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

75,882

3. What fandoms do you write for?

That's hard! I have a lot of ideas and half written stuff for a bunch of fandoms but the ones I have posted are Naruto, Percy Jackson, and Marvel.

4.What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

What We Lost in the Fire (Naruto) .

Safety's an Illusion(Fates all Chance) (PJO)

Forgive me Father for I have Sinned(PJO/Naruto)

Walk in the Shadows of Men who Sold Their Lives to a Dream(PJO/Naruto)

Be not Afraid, Brave the Storm(PJO/Naruto)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! It's by far my favorite part about posting. I'm always eager to reply to all the comments even the small ones. Which I think stems from the fact that as a young newbie to fanfics I would always get so excited when an author replied to me. It's also fun!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh that's hard, a lot of my work is still being posted so I can't answer that without spoilers :).

7.What's the fic you wrote with the happiest endings?

Forgive me Father for I have Sinned probably. It ends super sweet with Poseidon and Percy finally having a conversation and hugs all around! (Of course he's going to get kidnapped soon after by Hera but that's besides the point)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. Most of my fics are pretty new which might play a role. I have gotten a couple 'so and so would never say that' kind of thing but not to the point where I've felt offended!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah, though I've played around with a couple of ideas I find stories with strong platonic connections much more fun to write than ones with romantic ones.

10. Do write crossovers?

Absolutely! crossovers are my bread and butter especially in situations which pull attention towards some of the darker parts that get glossed over in canon because it's the norm(child solider trope I adore you). I absolutely adore reincarnation as well, one of these days I'll get around to writing my MHA x Naruto crossover that lives in my head rent free.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13 Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I've just recently gotten into writing fics instead of just day dreaming about them..

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't really have them, again platonic connections are much more interesting to me. I do like a good Tobirama x Madara though.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What we lost in the fire. It's a time travel Naruto fic and I love the premise so much. The characters are wonderful but I have not done nearly enough outlining and I'm sure I'l write myself into a corner sooner rather than later.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh that's hard I actually have no idea. People have commented on my fics that they like how I write the different characters to be very different/have their own personalities and flaws. So maybe that?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

descriptions probably, I'm really bad at describing stuff. And maybe planning I often jump into a project before I have a good idea where it's going to end and trap myself in a corner.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd rather not, I just don't know many languages and I'm so afraid of accidentally mixing it up. Besides all the bad stereotypes of bilingual characters and no personal experience makes me shy away from writing one.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto! The fic in mention will never see the light of day but it will always hold a place in my heart(as horrible and badly written as it was)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Safety's an Illusion(Fate's all Chance) hands down. I love that monster. I wrote the first draft for it in a month. As of right now the second draft is looking to be double the length. It's also the first fic I've been able to confidently have an update schedule for and be confident I'm going to finish it. It is so much fun to write!

Tagging: @fairyspheres (If you're interested!)

This was so much fun! Thanks again @hedgehodgy!

[tpup]

not sexyposting this is me being heartbroken and gay

typed up a draft so long tumblr will probably crash if I upload it. feeling so complicately heartbroken + used + miserable while also loving her so badly. seeing no way for me to bear being in her life and this being my worst nightmare is ripping me apart every second relentlessly.

I want to be truly appreciated and I want to find someone who will convince me I'm going to be cared for and that I can be happier than I was with her, but also feeling like that's an immensely irresponsible thing for me to initiate anything based on right now.

I want someone to fill the sexual needs she never fucking tried to meet for me, but I know I'm going to be thinking of her so much that it feels cruel and gross for me to seek that. Not fair to the other person.

Distractions don't help though, and that terrifies me. If it's true that only time will help, that feels like a death sentence. I don't have money. I owe people already which is a position I NEVER let myself be in. No one dangerous, just medical bills and college and a relative. But I grew up in a bad home and I am someone who has a deepset need to not fuck myself over! I yearn for stable ground more than oxygen. I want to be rich and safe and able to do what I want. But I've been broke my whole life and never able to make a cent. I'm disabled despite me trying so hard to take care of myself and be strong, my own body kicks its ass in ways I can't rise above. I need money to improve more than this and not for lack of trying I have never been able to hold a job, and I haven't found any actual work in years. I've been begging and making deals with financially abusive people to survive. It's horrible and I just want to be like, what's considered the bare minimum for someone my age, I want a chance to be independent.

I can talk forever! About feeling bad and wanting things, and what limits or prevents me. I like tangible things. I don't want to be in my head. I don't want stasis in misery, ever ever, unless that stasis is necessary you know? I want to be better always. I'm so ambitious and I do think I can do great things but it's like, I'm 23 and haven't held a job for more than a few months, I haven't had work in years, I've failed out of school twice now, I got dumped by someone I wanted to marry, shit just does not work out for me even when I give my all, and it's fucking scary! I keep trying, I'm continuing to try, I know giving up makes it worse.

But it's soo hard asking for money or a place to stay or a shoulder to cry on or just one more chance over and over. People get sick of it. People give up on you. It makes me question my worth. I know I was dealt a shitty hand and that doesn't mean I'm a lost cause or not worth love- but having my partner leave me when I was starting to finally get closer to stable footing? Some nights it's really hard not to die. I can't stress how ripped apart and distraught I am at losing her.

This was supposed to be a short quaint and considered post! I'm not tired but have cried and been awake longer than a body should.

I love you all very much, thank you for being here and sweet and vulnerable and brave and sexy. Trans people are the saving grace of this world, you're beacons in my life, I really mean that. I've talked to more angels here than I think I've met throughout my life; we are so raw and yet we can look at each other and see that the other is also bleeding and we extend our hands. I love that. It's all there is at the end of the day, people being brave enough to express want for love and see each other.

[dangerously-human]

8, 9, and 18 for the new/end of year fanfic asks

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

I guess my best answer is the great Fringe fix-it AU, which definitely feels like too much to tackle right now, so I've just been adding tiny pieces as I feel like it. Instead of a proper long-form fic, I may end up just writing snippets that connect over a given timeline - sort of like Restore the Years, I suppose - but the downside to that is that for a work that's entirely founded on the goal to force the post-S3 plot actually make sense and resonate with what came before it, I don't think skipping around and skimping on plot would actually accomplish my goal. Anyway, my idea is basically "Olivia and Peter and Olivia and Lincoln coparent across the bridge between universes," because I think Henry deserved to stay in existence and everyone should have had to actually deal with all the emotional fallout. Also because we were robbed of red!verse Lincoln and Liv falling in love while raising a baby and I'm still mad about it. This is probably not the year, but maybe I'll make some progress on it.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

Mostly the goal is to just keep chugging along on my WIPs. Ideally I'd like to post the next chapter of Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down by the end of the month, but I generally try not to get my heart set on the specifics so as not to take the fun out of it. Planning to participate in at least one January Lockwood & Co flash fiction challenge, I've been really enjoying those. Also thinking of doing a WIP amnesty sort of thing to reevaluate my long-term backlog; for example, there's at least one Community fic that I think I'd be happier completing as a oneshot instead of trying to craft a plot arc around what I already have.

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 

I always have the whole thing outlined (loosely) and at least a solid start at drafting all chapters before I start posting. It inhibits my creativity if I don't know where I'm going and I'm constantly stressing about making a decision I can't undo later. I used to be way more of a pantser, even as recently as my Continuum days, and it was nice for keeping motivation high but that meant plots that didn't always fit together neatly or pacing that felt clunky. Those Binary Stars was probably my first experiment with the loose outlining method - mm, I suppose I tried pieces of it with Just Once, but that was supposed to be a oneshot that wouldn't shut up and thus pacing issues were a given - and the three-act structure is probably a huge part of why I was suddenly able to bang out high-quality longfic (for me, anyway) like never before.

[goose-books]

hi max!! i'm the anon who asked you about amt- i promise i'm not ignoring you, i'm just very busy rn and want to message you once i have time to read it :) i have another question: you have quite a lot of projects on this blog but you've also had this up for a few years, how long did it take you to finish each work?

like i've been looking through your project pages and am wondering what your typical process + finished work looks like because i think it's SO impressive that you've got all these organized laid-out lists of your works, with so many character development and plot details. like with amt, you said there were 16 episodes; how long was each and how did you develop the plot through a podcast format divided by episodes?? what about love, h or valentine van velt which (i think) are shorter than your other works? also do you have any tips for committing and working on & finishing a project?

and ditto that i am not ignoring you, just! school. < falls over and dies. anyway this got really long so i'm going to answer your last question first and then put the stuff specific to my projects under the cut so i don't bloat everyone's dashboard

committing to and finishing things is also hard for me, in part because i have a really terrible attention span (and in part because editing scares me, so i tend to draft things and then immediately move onto the next shiny project while the old one flounders messily). but some things that work for me:

i have multiple projects, but i only draft one thing at once. at all times i am thinking about four or five stories. this is because i am insane and everything in the world is about my writing. this actually works pretty well, because i spend a lot of time letting ideas marinate in my head. i tend to get struck by inspiration, write the first chapter or few pages of a project, then spend the next, eh, six months?* just listening to music and Thinking About It Really Hard. but eventually i hit a point where my google doc of scattered notes is substantial and i feel brave enough to actually draft the thing, and when this happens, i put my other projects aside. i mean, i'll still think about them sometimes, but i put my concerted effort toward the Current and Present Beast, because otherwise i will never do it.

(*my process with AMT was the least typical here--usually i draft in a mad dash for the end, but AMT was episodic in a way that let me drift in and out of it, so a lot of my marination time took place between episodes. but it still kind of counts if you consider that i had the original idea of lesbian high school romeo and juliet, like, two years before i figured out how to make it work as a story.)

okay, so when do i start drafting something? used to be "never," because i was convinced i needed an airtight plot and setting before i could actually do anything. my oldest oldest projects (if you remember Quark and TMR, you are entitled to a veteran's discount--) have existed for AGES because i was, like, fourteen and convinced i needed to write a plot that would make blake snyder cry. this may work for some people! but in my case i've learned that i need to just... go at the first draft, even if there are holes in it, because i usually patch up those holes along the way with sudden bursts of genius. and, worst case scenario, i can go back and fill extra info in, which i cannot do to a blank page. (i've also learned that a too detailed outline takes the fun out of it for me; i need to be able to surprise myself along the way.)

i figured this out because i realized i like to give myself external timeslots. things like nanowrimo have been hugely helpful: they have a set start date, so i cannot putter around forever fretting that my worldbuilding is thin. obligatory statement that i know nanowrimo has some problems, but it could be anything--you could even just go, "okay, i'm gonna start this in october," or, "i'm gonna start this the next time i'm on break from school" (unless you work year round and then i don't know, i'm sorry, i'm not a real adult).

extra points if there is an end to this (eg. the end of the month; the point when you have to go back to school)--not because you have to finish by that deadline, because nobody's gonna sue you, but because 1. you know you are not in drafting mania forever and will soon do something else, and 2. you can set goals more strategically than "uhhhh i want it to be done." of all the projects i have drafted successfully, i would say 60%? were nano efforts that just spilled over into december and january, because by that point i had enough momentum to keep going (at a slightly less mad-dash pace).

throughout the whole process of marinating and drafting, i try to find comparable/inspiring media! this doesn't have to be as specific as a publishing comp title; it's literally just anything that gets me excited about the project. that way, when i'm chilling and not actively writing, i'm still turning over ideas, even if it's just with half of my brain. for example, with darkling, obviously i read a bunch of king lear retellings/adaptations, but i also focused on: books with similar worldbuilding vibes (eg. Nghi Vo's The Chosen and the Beautiful); books concerning autism and schizophrenia (for representation reasons & just to get my brain going); and books on abusive relationships (surprise surprise; darkling is about king lear).

because i have a huge boner for lists and organization i have a google doc where i have put some media comps for each of my projects (most of which i haven't read yet, but also some books that inspired me or hit the tone i want. or books i hate that inspired me via spite). i consult it fitfully

but how do i know which project to work on when i have so many? great question. i don't have good advice here. a lot of my projects coincide with intense hyperfixations (obviously darkling was my lear era; godsong started with the start of my roman history... thing...), which makes it easier. beyond that, i try to figure out which projects have the most groundwork laid. although perhaps groundwork is the wrong word, because i find that for me personally, it's not a matter of how much i know about characters and plot, but how crazy i am about the stuff i do have. the main reason i write as much as i do is because concepts seize me and thrash me around. this is why i have never tried to do story commissions, because i worry that i won't ever finish something if it isn't living in my mind rent-free 24/7 when i should be doing homework.

this is not something i can really advice about because it's just how my brain works, but i will say that if you (general; not necessarily you, anon) have had trouble finishing things in the past, it might not be a problem of structure--it might just be that you haven't had Your Absolute Favorite Idea yet. and at some point you will have an idea that obsesses you so thoroughly that you have no other choice. i mean, external structure is also really important, don't get me wrong. but sometimes you have to start twenty things to find the thing you really want to work on.

(and sometimes you have to start the same project four times to make it work. i rarely fully Give Up on something; i just tuck it into my back pocket in case i figure it out someday or cannibalize it for parts. in fall 2022 i started a short story, then realized i didn't have a plot or even a series of events and ran out of steam, but i kept thinking about it occasionally. and then almost exactly a year later, i went, "oh!," and went back to it and finished it and i'm pretty sure it got me into clarion west. so. nothing is ever lost!!! you can always repurpose characters or plots or lines from unfinished projects!!! you can always revive them like frankenstein!!! it's always morally correct!!!)

ok maxproject nonsense under the cut

re: "how long do they take?" this is the worst possible answer but. It Depends. some of the projects i have up still aren't finished. once i start drafting, i'm pretty fast, but the marination part can last months or years. i also think my outlining has been getting increasingly detailed, mostly because i've finally sort of figured out how story structure works.

i wrote valentine van velt in the summer of 2020 (and yeah, comparatively, that is really short for me), and with that i had a vague idea of the plot and sectioned it into eight (okay, seven) "parts," and then i just... started typing. (re: love h: i actually have not written more than a few scattered scenes from this yet. it's lying in wait. someday it'll grab me by the hair again)

darkling (drafted late 2020) and AMT (2019-2020) came out roughly the same: i started with a big-picture plot (easy; shakespeare gave them to me), then plotted out each episode or act before writing it (darkling is split into seven acts), but i was also actively writing as i was doing that plotting so it was sort of a cartoon of a guy putting railroad tracks down in front of his train at lightspeed. like, "oh, i'm gonna start act five tomorrow, better figure out what fucking happens in it [beyond 'the plot of king lear']!" with darkling i would figure out roughly what was going to happen in each act + which POV would go in which order, and i would do this literally the night before i started typing the next chapter, and it was like a beautiful desperate puzzle. with AMT, i had a vague list of "this stuff happens next" and i would try to squash closely-related events into the same episode. don't ask me how long the episodes are. we can't talk about this

my more recent writing has been a little more structured--godsong is the longform thing i'm working on right now, and the outlines have gotten to the "i know how many chapters there are going to be and who does what in them" stage of neuroticism. though, granted, i still need that element of surprise, so a lot of the time it looks like this

i left my typos in there because i'm an honest man.

anyway so "how long did it take" depends on whether you're counting just the drafting or the whole marinating part. i started thinking about godsong in 2021 and i started writing it that nanowrimo, and i finished the draft in january, but godsong2 (there are gonna be three of them. pray for me) took longer because it was more complicated and i was busier (that was summer 2022--summer 2023). darkling is my fast freak of a son because i read king lear in march 2020 and then finished the draft 2021 and ignored it forever after, amen. AMT secretly goes back to, like, 2017, because that was when i first thought, "hey, what if i wrote a high school romeo and juliet with lesbians," so some of the characters were bobbing around my brain before i started writing, but the actual writing was... two years? three? something like that. i wrote the first pages of VVVID in summer 2019 (guess who was in... [jazz hands] exposure therapy!), but i didn't write any more of it until summer 2020, when i was like, "okay, i'm now 17, this is the book about being 17, i'm just gonna chug after it until it's done." my old old bastards (quark & TMR) still exist in fragmented pieces, especially because it's hard to try to figure out which parts to retain or discard from a story you invented when you were Fucking Thirteen, but they remain in my head so i feel like it counts.

holy shit this is such a long answer. i am so sorry. thank you so much for the kind words and questions. gently applies a sticker to your forehead

[lilolilyr]

for the NYE writer's goal ask: 5, 8, 13, 20

(also whoops I unfollowed you trying to ask this)

New year's fic ask

Thanks for the ask! It's been like a month, but here we go :D haven't written anything yet this year anyway so it's not like my answers would've changed much!

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

Uhhh do I even have any active WIPs? I mean, I have a ton of drafts and such but I'm not really actively writing anything at the moment. A rare state for me! But the next months should be less busy for me, so I'll probably get back into it soon :)

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

I've already answered this one when someone else asked me :)

13. Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic? 

Definitely :D Already answered in more detail here!

20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year?

Related to /8, I don't have the time to properly write a novel at the moment, plus it's like that I think it's a Neil Gaiman quote where he said when he was younger and already had the ideas for some of his stories, he wasn't ready to write them yet... I think I've some growing left to do before I can really do the stories I want to write justice. Doesn't mean I won't already write down all my ideas whenever I find the time! For example I actually made a discord server with just me in it a few months back for one sci-fi/dystopia/multiverse story I'm thinking about...

Thanks for the questions, hope you're having a nice day! <3

[prozac-shaped-urn]

INT. JULIE'S HOME - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY Felicity and Beth enter, fresh from dancing, beer mugs of margarita in hand. Felicity goes directly to Julie's closet and sorts through it. All of her clothes are loose-fitting and colorful. Beth shrugs her blouse off and tosses it on the bed. Felicity tosses a few shirt options at Beth and she tries them on. Felicity takes the cast-aside shirts and hangs them up. FELICITY What did you want to be when you were a kid? BETH A reporter on the telly. I wanted everyone to know who I was. I thought that famous people don't get bullied, so I went through all of school wanting to make such a name for myself that everyone would know who I was and would feel bad if they bullied me -- because I was famous. FELICITY So "Slug" was… BETH Because I was chubby. That was my plan. It made sense to me at the time. FELICITY And now? BETH It's what I get paid to do. Every day, I check social media to find some new comment about my appearance. I try to ignore it, but Felicity, it's getting very hard to shut everything out. FELICITY Maybe you need a longer break? A week doesn't seem like it's enough. BETH I think I need to sort my shit out, retire to the desert, live in a hut with a fire pit, become one with nature and maybe enlightenment will find me like it has you. Felicity looks away; that's a touchy topic. FELICITY Being enlightened doesn't mean I'm immune to feeling like shit when I get odd looks from tourists. Sage Monkeys out here on the mesa don't care what I look like, but I'm gawked at in town sometimes. Taos has a ski valley and the part-timers come in during the summer, so there's an influx of "normal people" every six months. Some of them aren't very kind. Felicity sits on the bed. Beth continues dressing. FELICITY I was at the laundromat earlier and there were these teenage girls, and I could see them dissecting me. They looked me up and down, took it all in, and I froze. I got so worried about what they thought that I almost broke the washing machine. It's not the fact they judge me, it's that they do it silently so I can't fight back. They take away my power. Beth stops and faces Felicity with such a concerned look, Felicity can't stop herself from elaborating. FELICITY That's what Robert did. Before him, I had my mother putting all these worries in my head. 'Am I acting normal? Is my hair smoothed back? Is my dress perfectly hemmed?' And if any of those were no, I was doomed to die alone. I left Robert in 1994 and my mother died the next year. I was free of them both, except that I wasn't. I kept them inside me. My perfectionism feeds off of their memory. BETH You really care about what people think of you, don't you? Felicity nods and shrugs. FELICITY I'm not as enlightened as I'd like people to believe. And anytime someone has discovered that, I've had to hold my tongue when the light bulb flicks on in their eyes. 'I knew it! I knew you were a fake!' And I just want to shake them and yell, "I'M TRYING!!! I'M TRYING TO HEAL!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!!" Felicity finally loses her composure. Beth senses this topic is infinitely deeper than the simple statement that prompted it. FELICITY "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS?!! NO! OF COURSE, YOU DON'T! BECAUSE YOU'RE MOCKING ME FOR TRYING!!!" Beth kneels in front of Felicity and takes her hands. They connect for a moment, then Felicity looks away -- her brave face finally crumbling for good. She slumps forward, her head resting on her knees, silently reaching for Beth's support. Beth gives it to her freely.

obvs this is a shitty first draft so plz reserve judgment for the final product. just sharing the process with this.

you ever start writing a thing and realize it's gonna be a Monologue™ and you immediately go "oh fuck....... oh shit............. not again"

just happened to me. i always do this and i dont know why. maybe i can cut it short in the editing process bc if i can't it's gonna be like 2 pages worth of words.

[otp-holic]

What a year

This is one of those post I write for my future self, so feel free to skip it if you want.

But it's been a year since I started writing what would become I was alone, I took a ride (I didn't know what I would find there)

A year ago, I was embarked on my unofficial Nano Goal of writing 1ks a day trying to recover the love of writing after a pretty lousy experience while writing my 6ks of Fic Exchange fic.

I had three different projects going on, and for the first few days of November I was more focused on one shots and another idea for a long one.

And, I don't exactly know why, on November 5th my head took a turn, and decided to start putting words on an idea I had thought about for ages but that had always looked too big and too difficult to attempts.

I love reading movie AUs but when trying to write them, I always struggle with the "ingredients" (too close to the source material, does the character make sense in this universe, how many call backs are too many...), so I had never dared. It looked like an impossible task.

But I did started, shyly at first, and combining it with the other projects... until a couple weeks later this was all I could think about.

I had all the fun in the world with those first drafts where I mixed English and Spanish, jumped from one scene to another... a month that turned into three months, that left me with around 60ks worth of words that I thought made up the whole story. Very roughly written, and in need of SO MUCH work, but a story.

I wasn't gonna publish it, ever. Just left it as it was for me to enjoy, but thanks to some people, but especially @thewinterwelded I decided to take the leap. I would have never ever keep on writing if I hadn't.

A year later, I'm here (not using Writing Analytics anymore, so i just went back to my excel), and those 60ks have taken a life of its own:

It's quite a lot, if you think about it, not only in wordcount (i write mostly in dialogued scenes, so it's always long), but in achievements.

I've been brave enough to take the leap and publish it with it many mistakes, I've kept on with it even when I was down, I've learned how to manage expectations, to write for my shake.

I'm almost done writing (this time for real), editing the final act to publish, and even though it's far from perfect, that impossible task is close to being possible.

I will probably reflect much more about it when I finish publishing (hopefully before the year is over), but I wanted to have this post because I love anniversaries, and I really want to have the reminder for those rainy days.

Thank you so much to everyone who is being a part of this ride (pun intended), because you definitely make me feel less alone and not giving up despite its many imperfections.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hello! I just wanted to tell you something I meant to say for a while now, I apologize in advance because I feel like it's going to be quite long. So, some time ago when you did a month or week with Malec there was this thing called "advice hour with Alec". And seeing questions you/Alec got, it felt extremely crazy to me that you want to try to take such responsibility and answer them. Crazy not in a bad way but in an admirable way because it was admirable that you're willing to take someone's hardships off their shoulders even for a moment. And even though I had this feeling, I really really wanted to be selfish too and ask for an advice because I never really felt brave enough to ask for it a different way than as a anonymous asking a stranger who has 0% chances of figuring out who asked for it.

That's a long-ass introduction, what I meant to say is that I just found that "Alec's" answer in my drafts again (because of course I had to save it), and it reminded me I wanted to say that I'm really thankful for your words. It really gave me so much strength when I felt bad about myself and it still does. It keeps reminding me that I still have much to work on, because no, I didn't do what "Alec" advised me to do. Yet. I don't think I'm ready now or that I'll be ready in the near future but I feel like I'm getting there, just a little slower than some brave Shadowhunter. :)

So yeah, thank you so much. And for what? I don't even know if I can put it into words. I'm really struggling right now haha... It does feel kind of stupid because you don't know me and I don't really know you but it still means so much to me. It means so much that there's this person somewhere out in the world who took the time to read my totally incoherent and cryptical ask which, now looking back at it, gave you little to nothing to work on. But you read it anyway and answered signing it with Alec's name. And I'm kind of embarrassed that that last part means so much to me. Honestly that "Alec" with that little blue heart at the end means the world to me and still makes me smile. I don't know if it makes sense but it really made me feel the closest to him that I've ever been or I ever can be, considering he's a fictional character, and god... It's been so comforting in a way, no matter how awkward it feels to say it out loud. Because it's almost like he's there for me.

And I guess that's what I'm thanking for - for you doing what you're doing because that little piece of it that got to be only mine in a way, I'll forever keep it close to my heart as a reminder to, as some wise Shadowhunter once told me, never stop fighting.

I think of this as my repayment for that sacrifice I was talking about before - of taking someone's hardships even though you didn't have to do it. I know it's not much but that's all I can give at the moment - tell you that it didn't go unnoticed, that I didn't forget about it and that I'm still working on it because since I already asked for that advice I might as well actually take it, right? And to possibly make you feel better. Is it selfish to think it works like that? Does it actually work like that for anyone? Well, if doesn't I hope it won't make you feel uncomforable or obligated to answer it even if you don't want to or something like that (it really isn't about this, it's not about me so honestly do with it whatever you want, please). But if it does work like that, I hope it's able to give you at least a piece of what I felt when I got that message from Alec.

Thank you again and I hope you're well.

- A :)

This was possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me in a while. So, of course, I had to ask Alec to come back and talk to you himself.

(he is a very busy consul but he always makes time for people and yes he is god)

Alec. Over to you.

---

Dear A,

We share an initial, huh? That's cool!

I feel like we share more than that.

I know we are not the same. Of course not. Our stories are different.

But I know what it feels like to know what I have to do, but not have the strength or courage to do it.

I get you.

Asking for advice isn't always about taking that advice. It's about learning that there are people out there who care enough to listen to you. It's about understanding that someone might have solutions for your problems, even if you don't. It's about taking that step, getting out of your comfort zone.

Admitting you are in pain and asking for help is not easy. That in itself is a big deal.

I'm glad you did that. I'm glad my words brought comfort to you.

I know I got my happy ending. I know I got to where I wanted to be.

I know it's taking you a little longer.

But that's okay.

Just because you get late, it doesn't make the journey any less important.

You take your time.

Magnus always tells me that, you know. He tells me to take my time.

It makes me smile because of course he says that. He has all the time in the world.

But not really, no?

Everyone has the time they have. Not more or not less.

So, don't let anyone tell you what to do with the time you have.

Take your time.

Keep working on yourself. Because no one else will.

And most importantly, remember to have breakfast.

(Magnus wrote that last bit. Sorry!)

And yes, it did make me feel a lot better to know I was able to help you in some way.

It's always good to know we make other people happy.

It's one of the best feelings in the world. Knowing you made someone happy.

So, thank you.

I hope you find the time and the strength to give some of that happiness to yourself.

Love,

Alec 💙

[joachimnapoleon]

Doomed to Be Our Bane - Excerpt [Murat's POV]

(NaNoWriMo 2021 - Day 16)

(Today we have the immediate aftermath of Murat's failed attempt to take Sicily in September 1810.)

***

"The Sicilian expedition is adjourned. The aim which the Emperor had proposed in threatening this island is fulfilled. You will return to your winter quarters. And you as well, brave sailors, you will see your families again: you have done more than your duty, you have undertaken, with a courage above all praise, more than fifty combats against forces three times as big as your own. The success which you constantly obtained attests to what you might have if the forces had been equal. You have above all resolved a big problem, you have proven that the enemy fleets cannot prevent the passage of the straits by simple fishing boats and that Sicily will be conquered when it is wished seriously to conquer it."

He lowered the draft of the proclamation. "Well, what do you think, Pépé?"

The Neapolitan gave a smile so obviously forced that Joachim nearly laughed aloud.

"It's... well. How can I say this without offending Your Majesty?"

Joachim grinned. "This is why I keep you near me. You're one of the only Neapolitan generals I have who doesn't lie to me shamelessly."

Pépé gave a short bow. "If Your Majesty wants the honest truth then, I must tell him that the proclamation is--"

"A complete pile of horse-shit," Joachim finished flatly.

Pépé stared. "Well. I... might've phrased it somewhat more delicately, Sire."

"No need. That's exactly what it is. And I'm certain it will anger the Emperor. But His Majesty has done his best to prevent us from succeeding here, so let him be angry. We've wasted nearly five months, obscene amounts of money, and nearly a thousand men. All for nothing." He stroked the long mustaches he had spent the past few months growing out. "No, not for nothing. For show. A spectacle for the English, to keep these troops distracted here so they're not reinforcing those in Spain."

"Does Your Majesty think we might try again some day?"

"I very much doubt it, Pépé. Especially now that I've seen the type of support--if you can call it that--that we can expect from the Emperor. And Naples cannot afford this kind of expense multiple times over." And I can only bear so much humiliation.

He handed the proclamation to the general.

"Have it printed and distributed to be read to each regiment."

"Yes, Sire." Pépé took the paper, bowed, and exited the king's tent.

Alone now, he slumped slightly over the table, resting his head in his hands.

What a shambles.

It had been so very close. All it would have taken was the cooperation of his French generals. The weather had finally turned in their favor. Cavaignac's Corsicans had made an uncontested crossing, landed on the shores of Sicily, and began making their way inland. With the full invasion force behind them, he might have overrun the English in no time, and driven Ferdinand into the sea.

But the main force never set sail as Joachim had ordered. Grenier had refused to obey him, acting, he said, with the authorization of Napoleon, who had given him sole command of the French forces taking part in the expedition.

He had known then that Napoleon had never intended for him to succeed in this endeavor. The Emperor had set him up to fail, to make a fool of himself. All the kings of Europe would know of his humiliation soon enough. He would be a laughingstock. He could not even begin to unravel the source of such malice on the part of his brother-in-law.

Now, he must prepare for his return to Naples. His impending reunion with Caroline was sure to be an unhappy one. The campaign had, up until this point, helped to distract him from the agonizing news of her miscarriage. The thought that he would soon be holding a new baby in his arms, that he would have a new little princess or prince to watch grow up, a tiny new hand to hold, had sustained him during his travails of the past several months. Now the magnitude of the loss began to settle in all at once, and the weight of it, combined with the failure of his campaign and Napoleon's role in it, bore down on him like a cascade of boulders from Vesuvius itself.

[inkandpins]

Another Letter

Dear B,

I've hit a slump for sure. In the month since I've seen you it seems like I've simply run out of steam. Whatever peak I had been chugging towards for the past fourteen months now seems unreachable. The higher I climb the taller it grows.

I want to reach out for comfort, because I know you'd give me anything for a moment. But I don't want a moment with you-- I want it all! It is a scary kind of responsibility to carry someone's heart when you can hardly manage your own. I desperately wish to be carried by you, but what if I'm not strong enough to return the favor?

I used to complain about how much we knew. I grossly misunderstood the meaning of love. It's one thing to be understood, and another to have someone love you in spite of everything you have or are going through. Communication pales in comparison to love. I'm not as brave as you think I am, or thought I was. I am afraid, afraid-- what if you unravel me completely and don't find what you were looking for? What a loss. To open up to someone, only to discover now that they are a complete stranger.

And yet-- I find it impossible to imagine. I find hope in the littlest of things-- the gnawing knots in my stomach whenever I walk through campus, the way I can see our silhouettes splashing each other in kayaks in the water from afar, familiar sights elicit this response from me. I see joy in the fact that these things remain constant after so many days have past. I know I still feel this way, and I hope you do too.

N.Y.

Retrieved from the drafts, 11.21

[cherries11]

Bonus - WitW cut scenes and notes

So, as with most writers, I have a lot of cut scenes. Writing the The Woman in the Woods, my word count on cut scenes has reached 20k. Although that's probably inaccurate 'coz I ended up putting some of it back in, either parts of it or whole paragraphs. But for Chapter 12, there were two scenes that almost made it to the final version.

If you haven't read my fanfic and plan to, please don't read this because this spoils not only part 1 but part 2 as well. Here's the link in case you're interested.

Oh, and to those who plan to re-read the whole thing, you might notice minor changes. Some are corrections, some are lines I accidentally deleted or realize later on that I've forgotten to put in...

...such as why Sasha was holding out on moving in with Saul (they agreed not to do anything rash for six months).

Scene 1 - Right after they kiss

Because Saul's still not well (very, very low blood), he gets lightheaded and takes a second.

“Just breathe,” Sasha said.

“I have to tell you something.” His head leaning on the couch, he tilted his face toward her. “And you have to remember that I’m convalescing right now.”

The smile on her face disappeared. “What?”

He took another deep breath and blew it out through his mouth. “I… saw you naked.”

She smirked at that. “Yeah, right.”

“I did.”

She then frowned. “How could you have—” and then she gasped. “You were awake!”

“I didn’t see a lot. Just calves, and legs,” he was quick to point out. “And ass—but very, very briefly.”

Her jaw was still on the floor, unwilling to pick it up.

“Should I have not told you?”

It seemed she didn’t hear. “If you were awake, then you were aware that I dropped blood in your mouth.”

“I thought it was a dream.” She didn’t look convinced.

“How briefly, really, did you see?” Maybe he didn’t answer fast enough that she slapped his arm and repeated louder, “How briefly?”

He muttered an ouch even though it didn’t hurt. “Like a second. Half a second!”

Sky then comes in the house and calls for "Maja". After Sasha responds with "Out here" this happens.

Then to him, she tilted her head. “A second, huh. Well, we can make it longer the next time.”

He was beaming at her when Sky emerged from the backdoor, who was visibly surprised at finding him there.

I ended up taking this scene out because, when I re-read it, it dragged the scene--the kiss was already a happy ending, though I really wanted to address her getting naked and Saul seeing that.

Scene 2 (Epilogue) - Farah's visit

One of the ideas I have for ending the story was for Sasha to say something like, "I think I'll open a school" (for witches). So the first draft of the epilogue begins with her jittery because she's about to give a two-hour lecture (which should culminate with her having confidence enough to maybe open a school). But as I was writing that, I realized that she's right to be jittery because she's declaring herself a blood witch, and the scope of what that would mean, standing there and doing that, I had to rethink because I was hoping the epilogue was just 1k and should just be light and fluffy. So, I thought it might be better if the lecture was just an idea she contemplates doing. Scene below is when Farah visits.

“What is it about? Should I be concerned?” Saul asked.

“No,” the fairy said, though she seemed to reconsider. Then, “No, I don’t think so.”

Saul frowned at her, just as Sasha came down.

“Oh, hi Farah,” she said while slinging on her backpack.

“I’m glad I caught you,” she eyed Saul, silently indicating that it was a private conversation. But he was unwilling to leave.

“Saul,” Sasha said, giving him a nudge to the ribs. “Come on, hun.”

The two women then sat on the living room while Saul made himself scarce by the kitchen, doing his best to overhear the conversation.

“I just have an idea I wanna run by you,” Farah began. “What do you think about giving a lecture, just two hours or longer if you like, about red witches.”

Sasha didn't expect this at all. Hearing this turned something inside of her dead cold with fear, just the idea of standing in front of a roomful of strangers and declaring that she was a blood witch. The last time she did that, her kind was wiped out.

Maybe reading where her thoughts went, Farah said, “You don’t have to say that you’re one. We can just say that you’re an expert on the subject. You’ve studied it all your life, their ways, their customs."

She was already shaking her head, seeing how this would be taken—what were her credentials? Her history? When the students go home, would they tell their parents about the “expert” who spoke so personally about these witches, and would they then hound the school for this lecturer? Also, what would it do to the school?

“I think it’s a bad idea, Farah.”

“I think it’s important that our students get informed as much as they could, especially about subjects where the common knowledge is just utterly wrong.”

Sasha blew out a nervous breath. Her hands had gone clammy and it was because this was the very thing that made doing it so tempting. But the repercussions attached to it, was it worth it? Would Alfea even be able to stand it? What if it destroyed the school?

She looked at the kitchen and, almost immediately, caught Saul’s eye. He had heard everything.

“Just think about it,” Farah placed a hand on top of hers.

She looked at it and just nodded.

“I do have a question,” she said just as Farah retreated her hand. “Have you found out what Rosalind meant? When she said my kind endanger this world?”

But the woman only shook her head.

When she left, Saul was back in the living room with Sasha still sitting on the couch.

“You should do it.”

Sasha chewed her lips and looked up at him, but didn’t say anything.

Then in the airport, the scene is the same as in the final version, but as they say goodbye, Saul mentions the lecture again and she just says she'll think about it. I stopped there, had a break, and was about to write the closing paragraphs but it just didn't sit well with me. I thought that even if it's something that's left hanging, something that a reader could decide on, the story still doesn't end with my original plan of her wanting to open a witch school. Also, even if it's left hanging, story-wise, the logical conclusion is that she does it because that's the brave thing to do. But doing it could legitimately put her in jeopardy and might actually destroy Alfea (I could imagine angry parents complaining about it, which includes royalty, and shutting down the school). It's an epilogue, and even if I'm not covering that part of the story, I didn't want it to be the last thing a reader thinks about.

So, I ended up cutting it all out and changing the purpose of Farah's visit. I thought it worked out much better because the epilogue should just focus on Saul and Sasha, and also hint that Saul has a better, more honest relationship with Sky.

Notes

I tend to not write any of my ideas down (I do that by writing the story already). But whenever I have a problem with a story, instead of using a digital notepad, I actually use pen and paper and write all of the questions I need answered and put in all answers I could think of (and why that won't work). I was doing that today for this other thing I'm writing (it's not a fanfic, sadly, but my main character is based off RJC), and found my notes from writing Part 2 of WitW. Since I'm making this post, thought it would be fun to include it too.

These were made after writing Ch 6. Yes, my handwriting is terrible. I think only I can read them. But if you're able to read them, then you must be a nurse (to those who aren't, nurses' handwriting aren't bad, but they read doctor's notes all the time). I was at this for a couple of hours. I think ch 7, 8, 9 are on point to what I ended up writing. Some changes in Ch 10, but epilogue is totally different.

tagging @astrid-v​, and thought you might be interested reading this too @kingunder221b​

[itscinnafox]

STORY NOTES [akafuri] : By The Next Sunrise

Because I had sooooo much fun doing this with a friend (@miss-cactus) :] (also being the first collab' work that's posted) and had a lot of messy notes and drafts, it's just so precious to me not to ramble about it >w< also plenty of fun times in just 2 and half months despite life biting my ass at the same time, totally my stress relief lol. Also, this story really isn't just some cheesy stuff for the sake of romance. It's genuine love (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ω˂̣̣̥)੭ु⁾⁾

Read the story here in AO3 Summary: On the way to his brother’s house, the spring showers had begun again. With an open palm, he let it collect the cold showers and let it flow out from the cups of his palm. They were chilly despite the warming sun, he looked up at the sky, and wondered what the rain would be like in other parts of the world. Furihata smiled. He would find out. Perhaps by one of the next sunrises.

.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ. Rambles undercut ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧ .☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.☆ﾟ.

FIRSTLY, @miss-cactus has all my gratitude ♡(ŐωŐ人) without her; AkaFuri will be stranded in France LOL! Seriously, I'll just dump them in some random village in France and just maybe not even finish this story at all even. The time she took to find me a place, translate, edits and also judging me for my description of the place LOL yep... total life saver. With her help it really motivated and inspired me a lot! She's the oil to my car............. you get the idea :] .

BONUS, she's also a translator and translated many amazing works, basically a deity, breathing life back into them. Also, she has original works too :D check 'em out, it's cute! It's in French, but they're easily translated, she's that good! (๑>◡<๑) her AO3

WEIRD FACT, I also had a short break up with my boyfriend of 7 years while writing this. LOL. I was so upset but I got motivated by the similarities, that when he asked for us back I was like 'But-but the similarities though!' but I love him....bleeegh. So I said yes, and we're better than before. YAY!

๑ Story Base ๑ The idea popped when I was listening to 'The sun after washed by spring rain' by Wang Lee Hom on a rainy day on my day off, and florist Akashi just looks so beautiful lol and the rest just came up.... and I really wanted this vibe for AkaFuri something incredibly soft and warm~ just cozy >w< huehue~

This story sets in Spring, spring here, spring there~ Spring is the breath of new life, basically Furi's story lol.

I was also aiming for this story to be short and a bit poetic...... LOL then 11k words later I just gave up and was like: well, if AkaFuri wanna romance then who are we to say no? (Akashi will shave my hair in my sleep lol)

๑ Playlist ๑ Play on Youtube The playlist is by order according to each part within the story. I really love to ramble about this since music is my inspiration for a lot of things and the vibe of the whole premise, section of their development and perspectives.

☆ 11 : 11 by Taeyeon Introducing Furihata's little sob lol and Furi's perspective. After Furihata breaks up with his girlfriend (who again, have no significant in his life what so ever), he goes through the phase on moving forward. It really isn't him moving forward with his feelings for her though, it's just him moving forward from the familiarity of being with her in his life. With her gone, he finally reconnects with who he is, like in this passage : "However, somehow with just a fling of his bag onto the island top threw him years back. He has not always been this tidy and clean." Furihata had basically lived his life to accommodate to those around him. (I wanna stress that Furi wasn't forced into a relationship or was it abusive. It was just a relationship with someone whom Furi had no infatuation for. It just so happens she wanted to date him after the wintercup, and Furi is just like 'yea ok?' but really he didn't exactly thought it through.)

So this is where Furihata moves on from the familiarity. He cries because they dated lol, but really he's just confuse.

☆ The Sun After Washed By Spring Rain by Wang Lee Hom Exactly one year after Furi's break-up. The source of this story idea lol. Also, Furi's perspective. The title and the song is literally what it meant; the sun after the spring rain which brings in new beginnings. I present you, this passage of the story: "Instead, with an open palm, he let it collect the cold showers and let it flow out from the cups of his palm. They were chilly despite the warming sun, he looked up at the sky, and wondered what the rain would be like in other parts of the world."

☆ Reunite by Jordie Power I present you, when Akashi appeared and Furihata's crush on Akashi just awakened and go haywire LOL! In this AU, Furihata has genuine feelings for Akashi. They were long time friends, and there were even a few emphasis of their friendship through high school but because Furihata has a girlfriend and Akashi respected that (although most times, in my brain, is just Akashi crying to Kuroko LOL!)

☆ Passage by Miyano Mamoru Furihata and Akashi's similarities. The song is basically about finding yourself as you age, the experiences you go through as you age (i'm 27 and i'm still confuse lol) Even though this story focuses on Furihata a lot and little less on Akashi except for little hints here and there, Akashi was just as lost as Furihata.

Random thought (as I type this), my boyfriend had told me this before "Even though we don't need each other, and do well on our own. We have friends but it's so different. Is just something different to have someone you love around, so to an extend, I really do need you and to share everything with you, it really makes me happy." it really is something different to have someone by your side especially when you found someone. (p/s: you definitely don't need to be in a relationship to feel complete. you complete yourself okay? :3) Furi and Akashi have been in-love since high-school, they have accomplished a lot on their own but in a passage, they both felt lost and felt like something was 'empty' that was because they were still in-love, and they met each other and truly want to spend their life together and share everything.

☆ Moonlight by Miyano Mamoru Mmmmmm~ the juice. This is Akashi's perspective when he wants to romance Furihata (∗ᵕ̴᷄◡ᵕ̴᷅∗)՞ and of course, sneakily confesses to him. OH MY GOODNESS! THIS IS LITERALLY THE PART THAT I'VE BEEN DYING FOR! and wrote it sooooo many times. I wanted it steamy and a little desperate after their long pent-up-frustration unprofessed love, without making it 'explicit' kind of way. So I hope I captured it right lolol.

☆ Make Me Love You by Taeyeon Furihata's feelings towards Akashi. I was pondering on a song that would fit Furihata's pull towards Akashi and how Akashi makes him feel every time. No other songs seems to feel like then I was randomly humming to this song while I was working and this is perfect! Also, a wonderful vibe.

I think it has been emphasised a lot on how Furihata reacts to Akashi, how he blushes like crazy, how he also subconsciously wants Akashi to make him fall in love with him. Because deep down, as again, Furihata genuinely loves Akashi but he was never daring enough to do it and since Akashi had never showed any indication, so Akashi had to confess in order for Furihata to be brave enough to smack their lips together to confess too.

☆ Je Fais De Toi Mon Essentiel by Emmanuel Moire Infinitely bless @miss-cactus (and her naughty brother lol) for this! This is song is seriously sooooo beautiful ;w; I don't care if reader's don't listen to the playlist, but OH MY GOD! If nobody had listened to this, is seriously missing out. (just as a song in general is beautiful) and the lyrics are just akjsfhakjsfhaf AKASHI'S WORDS! In Akashi's perspective and the song that Akashi sang to when they were in the car, and Cactus chose the perfect line for it ;w;

This song basically concludes everything!!! From their feelings for each other since high-school and all the way until the day they die! It's basically everything I wanted this story to be about, just their pure love for one another and to share their happiness together ;w;

Also, I want to point out in regards of Furihata's decision on staying in France. It's really not just a spontaneous and reckless decision lol. As stated and shown in the story, Furihata is somewhat a successful person with a career, but Furihata has other passion and interest which he seemed to enjoy doing which is photography and Akashi notices this. Even though with a career, at a time some will have a change of heart. So if Furi wants to stay in France with Akashi, he has thought it through enough, and can afford to even live by even without Akashi's money lolol. ๑ Premises ๑ Cactus, without her, AkaFuri will be hobos. I . AM . NOT . KIDDING ! She just whip out the map of France and pin point me to everything! I didn't ask for that but her soul is made from angel clay and she showed me this beautiful town, and I am floored! I didn't feel that much motivation and inspiration before o(≧∇≦o)

So why not Paris? XD 1, I didn't want Paris, I wanted a natural, country/cottage vibe and not the city. 2, proven by Cactus, "actual paris : if you want a cup of coffee you have to give up your wife and your 2 children bc it's way too expensive" (XD actually there's more but those parts are only between us lol) 3, I want to pull Akashi from his usual portrayal of rich and luxurious life style. I mean.... he's still rich, just not lavish in that lifestyle. In here, Akashi's basically bare as a canvas, and painting it on his own. 4, I google mapped Paris.... and if anything, Akashi and Furihata will probably get run over by traffic LOLOL! 5, we hate the crowds lolol and we'd do anything to drown the citizens for AkaFuri to be alone. I'm not even gonna be discreet about this xD.

☆ Mornac-Sur-Seudre This main village, is the most beautiful town picked by Cactus. It's not so 'in the face' although not so splashed in a lot of colours (except for the oyster huts), it is a very vibrant village. We totally fell in love with it. It's quiet, and not a lot of villagers, so it's perfect for AkaFuri to have their stroll hand in hand (人 •͈ᴗ•͈) They're also very famous for their oysters LOL! So yeah..... Akashi fed Furi oysters.... because....it's yummy.... LOL! Video reference here. There's another beautiful video but I can't find it no more. ;; Other references; here, here and here.

☆ Seagull Train Furihata loves train (and so do I) and since the train exists here! WHY THE HELL NOT?! I really love writing this part! I fell in love with the department Cactus picked and everything was so perfect and beautiful. Pictures and videos of it was just so breath taking ;w; and it's a steam train! I've never ride one before, but I have been into exhibits in the train museum. The smell is amazing lol. It's like sniffing my humidifier......but bigger.

This is the train I had saw mostly from it. the 030 T 3 from 1891. It's still operational so choo-choo!!! they go!

Video reference ; here Train reference; here, here Other references; here, here, here and here.

☆ Saintes & Royan These two towns are what's closest to Mornac. I didn't have much on Royan because Saintes had a beautiful charm, so this is where they would have their wonderful date <3 and talk a little bit about their feelings.

Cactus correcting me on the description on the city as I just woke up from my sleep, is seriously a way to wake up in the morning at 5am XD LOLOL!!

There's a few churches too, and has an interesting history from the Roman empire :D really intriguing.

The bridge where they have their little confession in high-school (◡‿◡✿)

This video here, absolutely pretty!

☆ Akashi's Floristry; Fleurs d’acacia Cactus picked out the most beautiful name! "So either L’acacia (just the tree) or Fleurs d’acacia (acacia flowers)" The Acacia because it rhymes with Akashi's name : Aca - as in 'Aka' in Akashi. Ci - as in sea...because they're near the ocean. A - as in....... h(a)m because Cactus said so... and I can't even disagree because it's where Furi getting some of those..... meat....because Akashi's ham.....like his meat.......y'know..... We're very dignified ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)

The design of Akashi's 3 story shop/studio/apartment..... I really don't have any reference, it's all in the head LOLOL! Akashi basically lives in simplicity, his shop all on the ground floor, and the second floor is his art studio where paints and do whatever he wants. Finally the third floor is where he stays, it was wasn't very detailed but it's very spacious and cozy >w<!

☆ The Drive-in theatre Bruuuuuh......the confession is the thing! Akashi sneaking in his opportunity to confess. What more is there need to be said? AkaFuri : mlemlemlemlemlemlemlemlem~

Ohh~ Akashi's pretty Bentley of course.

☆ The Landes The finale of their romance ❀.(*´◡`*)❀. I think we all know what a Volkswagen van looks like LOL! And they had the funky in the van and Akashi took Jean's advice with the bamboo charcoal.

Cactus showed this pretty place and I'm just ヽ(；▽；)ノ

Of course I'd really like to say it again. Furihata's decision to stay with Akashi was really not for the sake of a 'happy ending' or so. They've had deep feelings for each other since high-school and bonded closely, but Akashi didn't show any indication of romantic interest out of respect for Furihata's relationship, and Furihata knowing nothing about Akashi's mutual feelings just kept his feelings to himself. As told by the story, Furihata has a career and stable income. But even though his life is dandy in Tokyo with his job, that doesn't mean it's something he wants to keep pursuing or maintain, as we age, we search for something else to add into our experience. Not to say that we're forever unsatisfied, it's just how life is. We accomplish something, and we move on to another thing, and then another and another. It's really something beautiful about it, and life's just us exploring :] In Akashi and Furihata's case, is that they've already have what they wanted, a life of their own, choosing their own path and what they don't have was each other and now that they've bonded and opened up themselves, they can finally pursue another beautiful life together (>*^▽^*<)

๑ Book, Night on the Galactic Railway by Kenji Miyaza ๑ This is a real book. Also, my favourite! There is an anime as well, but if anyone wants the PDF feel free to drop me a DM and I'll give it to ya'.

In here, the story of the galactic railway impacted their lives a little bit differently. With Akashi the loss of his mother and Furihata to live the last adventure before death.

It is shown they have extreme love for this book, and it really is a beautiful book and there's just endless things to talk about, as it is place in an infinite travel of the train through the galaxy, meeting new people, seeing new things, the mysteries of stories and making meaningful relationship despite never being able to see them again.

The sentiment of Giovanni and Campanella is also similar to Akashi and Furihata. Before anything else, they want to have their adventure together before eventually parting their ways (and i really mean, until death do them apart.)

๑ Other Juices ๑ There some nitty stuff that aren't just there for show xD Well, kind of but there's some sentiments and stuff so...

☆ The Sunflower Maybe because I'm bias to sunflowers LOL! But Furihata is pretty with yellow! Sunflowers with darker brown florets are absolutely beautiful. The pendent I had in mind was literally the one I had when I was a kid (but I donno it's gone now lol). I googled other sunflower pendent but it's ugleh...

It associates with the theme of this story which is 'Sunrise' as in new beginnings, Furihata's fresh start to pursuing the person he actually loves.

Sunflowers also grow towards the sun. They radiate pure joy and positivity. They also symbolise unwavering faith and unconditional love; which is AkaFuri's undying love here despite the years.

Sunflowers are also given to show their deepest to the person, so Akashi gift him a sunflower :3 also because Furi looks pretty in yellow, fight me.

In chinese myth, sunflower are best for business... So with Furi around, Akashi's business will bloom LOLOL!

Funfact: In greek myth, a nymph named Clytie fell deeply in love Apollo, god of the sun. Although Clytie was beautiful by nymph standards, Apollo did not reciprocate her feelings, or acknowledge it. (except Akashi appreciates Furi's love okay?) After days of hopeless devotion, the nymph then transformed herself into a sunflower and constantly turned towards the sun so she could always be with the one she loved (Furihata's chasing sunrises because Akashi is there ok?).

☆ The Happy Street Cats :D This is actually a real book I have, a gift by my teacher before I leave S.Korea. The passage idiom is extracted by this page as well.

The front cover of the book is also yellow.

Yellow : Sunrise + Sunflower.

There's so much yellow in this story LOL!

☆ The Movie Cactus : Idol movie Me : *internal screaming* I swear we are always soooooooo close to making this whole thing crack XD

This scene is a real brain wreck lololol. (Still contemplating if it was romantic enough)

☆ Akashi's Florist number I extracted that number from an oyster restaurant LOLOL! Thankfully Cactus changed it.... we were planning on a crack bonus in which, Furihata orders oysters before calling Akashi.

It didn't happen. But if it did.

Furihata will order some oysters. And not regret it.

*Akashi judging*

☆ French Dialogues + Akashi teaching Furihata French Bless Cactus, she's my happiness now. I have no idea how many weird noises were coming out from our mouths just to understand how the French consonant 'R' sounds like to put it into words LOL! XD Without her, it'd be a disaster.

We were looking at other romantic phrases and found the perfect one ;w;

“Je suis ton bonheur.” means "I am your happiness" (oh god, google translate voice just keeps playing in my head LOLOL! help) Which, what else can be said? LOL Akashi's happy ok? Since this story is from Furihata's perspective, I really wanted to put him into the spot of being a foreigner (he speaks english and mandarin lolol just clueless in French, because Akashi is supposed to guide him). So while Cactus work her magic, being the Akashi to my Furihata. I tried to emphasis a lot on the characters expression etc, at least to indicate of what was going on....tbh even I forgot what they were saying. *just as clueless as Furi and Cactus cackling somewhere.

Everything in here is just Cactus being amazing ;w; and pure patience LOLOL!

๑ Side Characters ๑

☆Shérine ............ We butchered the original female side. Her name was Camille.... but I was sooo tempted to name it after *coouugh* :] because it's pretty. Also her hair was blond with hazel-green eyes.... yea we buried her.

Shérine wins now... Shérine is life.

Shérine will be in their wedding.

☆Jean Kirstein (of AOT) It's JEAN! ...........someone gotta tease Akashi with no filter.

(ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ FINAL NOTES

The last section when Furihata wakes up and makes his decision, believe it or not, I was in the bus. While typing to Cactus, I was literally shaking in the bus and my eyes stung because of dust and I was in tears. I was between crying and laughing. Finished it at home ;w; Cactus was such a darling through it all.

I really had fun writing this with Cactus ;w; she's the best!!!!!!! And hopefully we'll make some crack stuff because we're hooligans like that XD.

:D BYE!