#i've got...a lot of kids
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🍃 for all your salads (or just as many as you want) since you like them so much
I uhh..I got 40 sylvari characters so... here I gooo, under the cut
🍃 FALLING LEAF - do they enjoy being in nature? what is their favourite outdoor activity?
Zheag: Yes, he loves being outdoors, especially in the desert. He loves to just ride Cliff, his jackal and just, hang out.
Enfy: She's a princess she does not enjoy dirt. It would cover up the sparkles
Nura: Not really. Icky and full of bugs. Alas she sometimes has to so she deals with it
Aevelyhn: Yes. She loves Caledon Forest the most and she loves taking walks there.
Soléine: Yes. She loves EVERYTHING about nature. Loves camping and just enjoys nature.
Ainlon: It's less of an enjoyment and more of a: that's where i work thing for him.
Cayde: Doesn't care about nature all that much. he's a courtier.
Lusus: So-So. they enjoy well-maintained gardens
Saberlily: Yes. She loves to dig around for rusty swords and stuff in the dirt.
Alvanil: Also doesn't really care for nature.
Xeneviev: Likes pretty flowers but not really a big fan altogether.
Heirim: Cares for nothing but his Mistress and Laplace
Laplace: So-So also. She likes walks in the dark forest
Caelus: Not really.
Noctell: Unlike Cael he loves it. loves to jsut sit around and train his thorn hounds outside
Kaymoer: Kind of. He loves stormy nights and to watch the branches bend and break.
Belacai: No. He's a city boi.
Rayeart: Yes. Mostly the icy tundra though.
Karma: Yes. Loves to throw mud at people for fun
Asteracéa: No. Divinity's Reach and nowhere else for this guy.
Thoernen: Yes. He enjoys calm nights and stargazing.
Dau: Also yes. Loves to cook outside over an open fire.
Ghaelahad: Yes. Loves camping and spending time with his dads (Thoer and Dau)
Dhairinne: Yes. Loves to go on walks with her wife, Feo
Feo Moon: Yes. Loves to go on walks with her wife, Dhairinne
Mionchélie: Not really a fan but doesn't mind it.
Neidref: YES! He lives in the maguuma jungle. just like a little tree gremlin. loves to play tricks on travellers and manage his little ex-mordrem community
Dhealaichte: Yes. Loves to sit out and drink tea, and care for his small medicine garden
Nico: so-so. he kinda lives outside in bandit camps. but he prefers the city environment
Peae: Yes. Loves to play with the forest animals and play tricks on unsuspecting passersby.
Lea: Yes. Loves to teach his class among the shadows of trees
Rievan: Neutral. It's everywhere, can't do much about it.
Tristrham: Yes. Loves to just sit under a tree and listen to the sounds of his surroundings.
Wayleth: Yes. Loes to discover new places.
Airyeh: She's..mostly in the Mists so doesn't really care. also neutral I'd say.
Xännth: Yes. He loves to roam outside the Mists and take in the sights and interact with the plants
Elohopëa: Yes. Especially loves thick forests. and climbing trees
Ysabeil: She loves nature but can't take much of it in as she's blind. loves to touch flower petals though
Shay: So-so has to deal with it when camping but he also prefers Lion's arch to the grove or forests and fields
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actually sometimes being neurodivergent is great bc you have a particular kind of Silly Mode that just . manifests glory. harmless fun is my precious side quest & i have a high score in whimsy. like okay if i gotta be the first dork in the dance pit it's gonna be me and this random toddler and we're gonna avril-style rock ouuuuttt
#i also like starting applause i'm really good at it and have a high score in it#i make entire groups cheer a lot. my friends are used to it . i am bolstered by so many of them being theatre kids#im like. let's celebrate! :) a guy did a thing well!!! :)#once we helped someone parallel park and it was SUCH a hard road to do it on#this is in boston. so death be upon drivers. also it was during st. anthony's feast. in the north end. iykyk#and we helped her get in there (one of my friends tbh stood in traffic for her)#and we cheered when she finally parked. she got out and she was crying and laughing and was like#''that was the hardest thing ive ever done ur so sweet''' and meanwhile we were PARTYING#just stone cold sober but like YEAH GIRL YOU DID THE HARD THING FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!#i've been bullied for so much lol i am immune to most insults at this point bc im like#girl when i was 12 i'd already heard every insult and good lord were they specific. just plain ''crazy'' aint it
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hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O
unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!
my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#okay i have one other correction to make#which is that i think vil should also have a garbodor#NO LISTEN#i have thought about it a lot but i just do not want to give him a milotic#and this is because -- now hear me out#neige would actually be the one with a milotic#(it fits his personality more and it's even in his colors!)#when they were kids vil had a trubbish and neige had a feebas and vil felt superior until the whole milotic thing happened#and he's secretly kind of bitter about it#but he also secretly loves his garbodor a lot and gets mad when people make fun of it#IS HE NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF THEM#also garbodor ferments poison inside of it! it would be the perfect alchemy assistant!#I'M RIGHT OKAY#(i am also a big fan of trubbish/garbodor and i don't personally think they're ugly anyway)#anyway enjoy this drawing because it completely exploded my computer#(it was not the drawing's fault it was just unfortunate timing)#i've mostly got things working again but oof. it's been. a day. 🙃
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sentinel prime is really just an old man bullying what are essentially children huh
#50 cycles. Are you telling me that's a silver fox? with the way some of yall simp about him i'd assume so#child labor#like actually. assuming the second they came on online they went to work#victorian core!!#when i was a kid my school asked if i were a victorian kid where wojld i like to work and i chose mines i was made to be a tfone fan my dna#bro's got a vendetta against bots more than half his age 😂😂 couldn't be me 😂😂☠️#i'm sick i hate it my head is on fire i feel my hair folicles combusting but this also prime time for my most lucrative thoughts#some of my best work has been thought while I've been high off children's medicine and an overwhelming lot of mucus in my chest#like yknow how optimus has the matrix in his chest? i have a mucus. we're not so different me and him#no sickness can stop me#HOW THE FUCK DOES TRANSFORMERS YEARS WORK like to me those are 20 odds but to lore? FUCK KNOWS#transformers one#tf one#transformers#sentinel prime#tf one sentinel prime#optimus prime#Orion Pax#d 16#tf one d 16#Megatron#b 127#tf one b127#tf one bumblebee#elita one#elita 1#tf one elita#tf one orion pax
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jenndoesnotcare replied to this post:
Every time LDS kids come to my neighborhood I am so so nice to them. I hope they remember the blue haired lady who was kind, when people try to convince them the outside world is bad and scary. (Also they are always so young! I want to feed them cookies and give them Diana Wynne Jones books or something)
Thank you! Honestly, this sort of kindness can go a really long way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
LDS children and missionaries (and the majority of the latter are barely of age) are often the people who interact the most with non-Mormons on a daily basis, and thus are kind of the "face" of the Church to non-Mormons a lot of the time. As a result, they're frequently the ones who actually experience the brunt of antagonism towards the Church, which only reinforces the distrust they've already been taught to feel towards the rest of the world.
It's not that the Church doesn't deserve this antagonism, but a lot of people seem to take this enormous pride in showing up Mormon teenagers who have spent most of their lives under intense social pressure, instruction, expectation, and close observation from both their peers and from older authorities in the Church (it largely operates on seniority, so young unmarried people in particular tend to have very little power within its hierarchies). Being "owned" for clout by non-Mormons doesn't prove anything to most of them except that their leaders and parents are right and they can't trust people outside the Church.
The fact that the Church usually does provide a tightly-knit community, a distinct and familiar culture, and a well-developed infrastructure for supporting its members' needs as long as they do [xyz] means that there can be very concrete benefits to staying in the Church, staying closeted, whatever. So if, additionally, a Mormon kid has every reason to think that nobody outside the Church is going to extend compassion or kindness towards them, that the rest of the world really is as hostile and dangerous as they've been told, the stakes for leaving are all the higher, despite the costs of staying.
So people from "outside" who disrupt this narrative of a hostile, threatening world that cannot conceivably understand their experiences or perspectives can be really important. It's important for them to know that there are communities and reliable support systems outside the Church, that leaving the Church does not have to mean being a pariah in every context, that there are concrete resources outside the Church, that compassion and decency in ordinary day-to-day life is not the province of any particular religion or sect and can be found anywhere. This kind of information can be really important evidence for people to have when they are deciding how much they're willing to risk losing.
So yeah, all of this is to say that you're doing a good thing that may well provide a lifeline for very vulnerable people, even if you don't personally see results at the time.
#jenndoesnotcare#respuestas#long post#cw religion#cw mormonism#i've been thinking about how my mother was the compassionate service leader in the church when i was a kid#which in our area was the person assigned to manage collective efforts to assist other members in a crisis#this could mean that someone got really sick or broke their leg or something and needs meals prepared for them for awhile#or it could mean that someone lost their job and they're going to need help#it might mean that someone needs to move and they need more people to move boxes or a piano or something#she was the person who made sure there was a social net for every member in our area no matter what happened or what was needed#there's an obvious way this is good but it also makes it scarier to leave and lose access#especially if there's no clear replacement and everyone is hostile#i was lucky in a lot of ways - my mother was unorthodox and my bio dad and his family were catholic so i always had ties beyond the church#my best friend was (and is) a jewish atheist so i had continual evidence that virtue was not predicated on adherence to dogma#and even so it was hard to withdraw from all participation in church life and doubly so because the obvious alternative spaces#-the lgbt+ ones- seemed obsessed with gatekeeping and viciously hostile towards anyone who didn't fit comfortable narratives#so i didn't feel i could rely on the community at large in any structural sense or that i had any serious alternative to the church#apart from fandom really and only carefully curated spaces back then#and like - random fandom friends who might not live in my country but were obviously not mormon and yet kind and helpful#did more to help me withdraw altogether than gold star lesbians ever did
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Ghostbusters Frozen Empire spoilers ahead
I've seen some criticism over Phoebe's actions in Frozen Empire, more specifically over the point when she separates her spirit from her body, calling it "a dumb decision", that "she's smarter than that", that it's "out of character for her", and just like.
First of all, remember she's 15??? She's a teenager??
But also I want to argue that it does make sense for her character, especially after everything that happened in Frozen Empire leading up to that moment.
Before we talk about Frozen Empire, we have to remember her story arc from Afterlife.
In Afterlife, Phoebe is uprooted from where they were previously living, and we know she has trouble making friends. Trevor tells her to tell him some of the jokes she's been practicing, her mom tells her to "not be herself" (jokingly/affectionately, but it's still said), and we know that Phoebe struggles to make friends. She struggles to connect with people.
Then she finds out her grandfather was a scientist, like her. He was a Ghostbuster, something that she connects to. She compares herself to Egon and is upset when she finds out her mom didn't tell her that her grandfather was a scientist like her. Then, most importantly here, her mom says that Phoebe "found herself" at the farm.
During Afterlife, Phoebe's story is about finding herself and connecting to who her grandfather was, a scientist, a Ghostbuster.
Flashforward to Frozen Empire.
Now they're in New York, and from what we see even though it's been 3 years since the events of Afterlife, it doesn't seem like Phoebe has really made any new friends in New York, she's still friends with Podcast, but he still lives in Summerville and is only there for the summer. She has her family, but she doesn't have any friends there. Her focus seems to be on being a Ghostbuster because that's where she found herself, that's what she wants to do.
And then it's being taken away from her.
She's suddenly told that she can't be a Ghostbuster because she's too young, and all the while the rest of her family is continuing to go out on busts and leaving her behind. There's things going on, and she's told she can't help, which just throws the fact that the thing she loves, the thing she wants to do, has been taken away from her.
And then, while upset from this, she makes a friend, Melody. It's someone she can talk to, that she seems to enjoy being around. She doesn't know that Melody has an agenda, that Melody is going to use her (not hating on Melody, that's just literally what happens). To her, Melody is a friend and someone she can talk to that distracts her from how another part of her life has been taken away.
Now I don't know if anything has been confirmed, but Phoebe comes off as neurodivergent (honestly I would not be surprised if she was intentionally written that way). One thing when you're neurodivergent and struggle to make friends is like, when someone acts like they want to be around you, to be your friend, you might not catch any signs that something's up.
So with that in mind, remember that Phoebe had no reason to suspect anything was going on with Melody. Before separating her soul from her body, Phoebe just thought she was finding a way to exist on the same plane as her friend. It was a way to just be with her friend for just a couple of minutes. Remember, it was just for two minutes.
So, during a time when Phoebe had something important to her taken away, a part of her identity taken away, she made a connection with someone she trusted and believed to be her friend. Of course she'd trust her, of course she'd try to essentially hang out with her friend for just a couple minutes.
She didn't know what was going to happen next.
#Ghostbusters#Ghostbusters Afterlife#Ghostbusters Frozen Empire#Ghostbusters Melody#Phoebe Spengler#Ghostbusters spoilers#Sorry if this got rambly#It's just something I've been thinking about a lot#Because seriously#Shes just a kid that had something important to her taken away from her#So she was Going Through It#And then she made a friend she trusted and wanted to hang out with#How is using science to hang out with her ghost friend out of character for her???#“Ghost friend” I say as if there wasn't Something going on between those two lol#Fellas is it gay to tear your soul out of your body just to exist on the same plane of existence as your friend?
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You're always drawing and I was wondering what you do for a living to have so much free time? I'm sorry if my question is too personal.
I'm a medical assistant at 2 places (so technically I have 1,5 jobs) I do go to work physically, but especially with the second place I do a lot of stuff remotely. Both places are pretty close to where I live (the farthest one is 30 mins away by bike).
The reason why I'm drawing all the time is simple - more sane people are reading books, playing games etc. etc. in their free time, I draw. I treat it as a hobby, it brings me lots of joy, I relax while doing it (when I don't put some ridiculous pressure on myself ofc). Plus I don't have any social life so :D more time to put my blorbos on a canvas.
And honestly, the stuff I've been posting here in the past 2-3 months are mostly just ask doodles, which most of the time take me under 1 hour to make. Some of them aren't even my proudest work, they're mostly messy. Plus I kinda found the most efficient way to do stuff, a brush I really feel and like that allows me to color very fast, swatches so I don't have to mess around with color wheel etc. etc.
Like here, this one took me 40 minutes. It's messy, there aren't any details really. (It's Connie pre-trap exploding incident that humbled his ass down btw.)
#ask me anything#tbh i've been feeling kinda like i went into quantity instead of quality recently? i do try to sit longer with drawings I make#but on the other hand... i'm feeling like a kid who got a fresh new box of crayons#connecticut tav#just to clarify i love doing these ask doodles btw#most of the time I treat them as warm ups before I work on something bigger#a lot of them allowed me to focus on ideas i had but didn't prioritise#and some of them are real creative sparks
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i should relate more to my giftedness but it's so damn hard when the only part of it that really applies is "i got good grades without studying don't fucking ask me how"
#like what am i supposed to do when i relate a lot more to my undiagnosed and treated as fake by my parents audhd?#i feel like i am faking my giftedness and not my autism or my adhd!!!#at this point academic stimulation makes me mad bc i don't feel like i need more#in fact i need people to listen to this really large amount of knowledge that i've got from these 2 strict and selective topics#and to be loved by infodumping since i was a kid#i was just a kid.#giftedness#actually gifted#autism#actually autistic#adhd#actually adhd#audhd#actually audhd
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Sabezra in a fantasy au for the ask game?
I have no idea if this was what you were looking for but it's what my brain invented, so ta-da!
--
Mother had forbidden---Forbidden, actually with a capital F---Sabine from leaving the Seelie realm to look for trouble.
So the next time she got restless, she made sure she'd already found trouble before she left.
Today, trouble looked like a grungy teenage boy, in ratty jeans and a faded orange sweatshirt, stomping through the woods. He seemed like the type she could mess with. Bored with life, discontent, easily fooled. Maybe she could even trick him into following her home for a while and see how he fared there.
(She'd ask him for his name, first, of course. She always did. It was an old trick, and rather overdone, but that was why she did it. If a human was stupid enough to ignore all the old stories and warnings and just tell her that right off the bat, she didn't feel bad about causing them further trouble. They earned it.)
She waited, unseen, until he had passed her by. Then, with a last glance over her shoulder to make sure no one of her mother's Court had noticed her, Sabine slipped through the dark mists that parted one world from the other.
"Hey, there!" Sabine called out at his back. He stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking at her in curiosity, but with far too little suspicion.
Sabine smiled.
This boy may not know what she was---not yet---but if Sabine had her way, he would find out.
Oh, he would find out.
#(spoiler alert Ezra is already aware of the existence of the Seelie and is wandering around specifically because he wants to meet one.)#I got this idea because of Ezra's habit of not telling people his name!#(and then I didn't even get to the part where he tells her he's jabba the hutt lando calrissian brom titus the emperor's nephew etc.)#i don't think i've ever actually read anything with fey in it so this was the product of a lot of quick googling lol#ficlet#sabezra#fantasy au#modern fantasy#AU ask game#I ended the ficlet there because tbh I wasn't sure if I wanted Ezra to be a normal human kid who finds a Seelie#and then tries to mess with her by trapping her in a promise and he SUCCEEDS and she's Very Irritated but also Slightly Impressed#...except he kinda trapped himself with that promise too so basically they're stuck at each other's side until he tells her his actual name#OR if I wanted Ezra to be a bored Unseelie who has also been Forbidden from looking for trouble#so he's just wandering around hoping that trouble finds him. and it does.#edit: NEVER MIND I CAME UP WITH A 3RD AND MORE FUN IDEA
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Rewatched Bless you, Hawkeye and honestly, i don't think Alan Alda's sneeze acting is that bad- imo some are exaggerating their critiques
And I was going to put this in the tags but I feel brave today, but I get really irked sometimes with people saying his falling apart after Billy pushed him was overdramatic and comes off as humorous instead- i think people just get uncomfortable because loud and raw weeping like that is uncomfortable to look at and when people are uncomfortable, they sometimes laugh to break up how awkward they feel.
Yeah, Hawkeye was crying like a little kid in that scene. Because when he was a little kid, someone that he looked up to probably more than anyone- someone that he might have thought was his best friend- pushed him into a pond and let him sink before fishing him out; to top it all off, Billy made it seem like it was his fault for "falling in", and all Hawkeye said he could do in response was "thank him". And he kept that bottled up for years and years, never letting the truth surface, until he was subconsciously reminded of what happened and it demanded to be reckoned with.
#i've been sneezing a lot and pretty violently today and brother i am feeling his pain#and like- in fairness it's not 'just yelling' as i've seen some claim i can hear the ah-choo syllables for lack of better phrasing#and smth smth it's hard to sneeze act consistently and it probably took multiple takes and i swear i saw someone say this before and i agre#not feeling brave enough to use media tags however#ugh ew i feel so gross i rarely share my thoughts outside of dms and almost never outside of the server#don't look at me#to add on to hawk crying like a little kid-#do you think when he was 7 he even got the opportunity to mourn losing one of his best friends for the first time?
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I love seeing your rimworld stories! They’re such a joy to see on my dashboard, currently a big fan of a mechanitors message!
will we ever get a tour of the outposts perchance? if they’ve got their own map setups like Sparks does.
I'm so glad you like my stories, especially the Mechanitors. I'm not used to playing with smaller colonies, so I've been having a lot of fun getting to know Mechi and Kwahu so well, as they are the only people allowed to remain on the map for an extended period of time lmao
Unfortunately, the outposts do not generate maps of their own, which is very sad :( but probably a blessing for my poor laptop
I have thought about making a new save file using the same world seed to build my own interpretations of where the Arwell (and Arno) crew might have set up, but haven't actually done it yet. I like to imagine they've repurposed an Ancient Danger or one of the Ancient Complexes into a base of operations.
Seed and coordinates for Arwell if anybody feels like having a crack at it themselves. I'd love to see what people think the gang is up to over there!
#asks#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's Message#I wish I could visit the outposts#and other factions too come to think of it#I wanna see what they're doooing!!#did the Arwell gang build a school to look after all those kids?#do they have their own bedrooms??#have they figured out plumbing and hot water yet????#Do they have beds or do they still use the bedrolls they were sent with?#are they making plans for a long-term stay or do they think that someday Mechi and Kwahu will relent and let them return?#I don't know! But I want to know!!#but Vanilla Outposts Expanded is a good mod#I've never used it before this#but I like it a lot#Should have shipped Wookshys off to an outpost before he got a redemption arc in The Animist Alliance#he and Boomer could have been buddies out there fishing or whatever#anyway#thanks for the ask!!!#Have an amazing day <3 <3 <3
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man about johnny and malcolm though...little malcolm thought johnny was the funniest person he'd ever met and johnny didn't even really have to try to make him laugh. like well this whole family hates me and i'll probably never make it anywhere in life but wait malcolm is laughing :) malcolm thinks i'm funny :)
#i have landgraabs on the brain you don't understand the zone i've been in this weekend#johnny struggled with school (undiagnosed dyslexia) so he got lot out of being the class clown. he mostly just annoyed his classmates thoug#'class clown' yeah ok fine he was the annoying kid who always tried to tell jokes and no one ever laughed#johnny was close with nancy's dad chester though. i've posted him before. bad dude. but he liked johnny.#he died shortly after malcolm was born and johnny took it very hard#he wouldn't have liked malcolm#he already thought nancy was ruining him with all the frilly 'girl' clothes and the constant doting over how 'beautiful' he was#and oh man if he could see how he turned out#anyway!!!!#this is the fall: extras
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Front facing Wizard Celebi 💪
Went through the teen plushie liker plight of being made fun of for an impulse buy two seconds after and hating this guy for a while because of that but I've come around because look at that face. Look at that cloak and leaf hat. I'd let them curse my bloodline
oh this is fucking adorable. i didn't know a Wizard Celebi aesthetic even existed, unless this is unofficial—the only thing i remember was the thing they did for halloween one time. i like this. this is good. here have some nose ratings about it:
dunno about wimpod. i feel like they're just scared. typically this is not a very Good emotion to have. i think it's in the name. Wimp od
#not pkmn#nose ratings#celebi in general is a pokémon i hold a lot of love for because i always seemed to encounter it as a kid#pokémon 4ever. i think i've talked about before how i used to like. fall asleep to that movie every night. and so i have the whole#fuckin script memorized. but then also at one point i ended up getting a celebi mystery gift from fuckin. gamestop. on pokémon diamond#which was the first event i had ever like. gone to? and i remember getting it and then trynna use it but it kept like. disobeying me#because the OT wasn't me and it was level 100. and i'd only beaten like. 2 gyms#but i thought it hated me and that's why it wouldn't listen to me. so i kept using it in battle and always had it at the front of my party#so that it would like me because i just had no idea you needed to beat the gyms to make it listen to you#and i didn't even know where to go. for the gyms. i was not very good at the game. so i just never got it to “like” me#and i ended up brushing it off as “wow‚ mythical pokémon are really high-maintenance!”
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Masters' Academy AU: Student Extra.
Art by @okkennymay
#masters’ academy au#okkennymay#this guy and the redhead are my favorites#not even close#the junior students could get put to use on a few good ways#I'd planned for Dipper to have skipped a grade coming here going straight to the 8th grade#and he's already mr “look how much smarter I am than the other kids” so he doesn't really want to hang out with the juniors#but the juniors are his age and it's their first year at the school too so he's got a lot to relate with there#plus the 8th graders in his class are intimidating (and tall)#course the dorms have kids from different grades anyways so it won't be some huge deal if Dipper has friends in 7th and 8th#really they're all middle schoolers and none of the high school kids give a shit about them XD#course I've waffled A LOT about their exact ages and grade because it's such an important decision#considered more than once cutting the middle school portion of the school and making it a highschool only move the boys to 9th grade#how do we feel about the name “Elijah”?
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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Absolutely the funniest thing about my current corner of tumblr is that pretty much everyone I've recently followed for Apollo-Appreciating Purposes are either genuinely Hellenist or just rather very into Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series which is wild because I know a net zero about both of those things.
#I've never been interested in Riordan's work and the Percy Jackson books I did read as a young lad didn't change my mind on that topic#Growing up I preferred a very one or the other method for my greek adaptational content#which essentially means either you're a play or an adaptation of a legit story or myth with recogniseable figures and plotpoints#or you're an original story with mythical elements but the myths and the adaptations and interpretations of those myths is secondary#Percy Jackson did both and it was very disorienting for me because the books were well grounded enough that when I came into contact#with some element I didn't recognise or couldn't remember I myself would get confused and go “Is that true? like really?? :0c”#Then I ran a library book club and Percy Jackson books were p much all the kids wanted to read#but they rejected all of my supplementary greek myth exercises and got a lot of stuff mixed around#because percy jackson does a rather good job of making a convincing argument that it knows its stuff and people will quicker cite that#than do readings of the much more difficult older texts and translations of text#It's not Percy Jackson's fault it's just a bad experience that stuck with me and by extension leaked over into Trials of Apollo when that#was released#Trials of Apollo was crazy because I generally make it my business to consume any and all greek myth interpretational media that bothers#to include Apollo (there is a shockingly low amount of things that do that)#however a LOT of novels especially never let Apollo retain the dignity of a god in their portrayals of him#and have him resemble a teenager more than anything even remotely close to an adult#I had just gotten finished reading a novel adaptation of the story of Coronis and Apollo with this same issue#so when I opened the first volume of ToA and saw that Apollo simply genuinely WAS a teenager#Frankly I just closed the book and put it back on the bookstore shelf and very calmly walked away LMFAO#I have nothing to say about Hellenists and neo hellenists y'all seem like wonderful people and I hope#you have a lovely time with your e-offerings and worship#unless you are my single personal friend with Apollo as your patron#then I wish you 1000 woes and 10000 divine brain blasts#toa#pjo#ginger rambles
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