#i've got nothing to add but thank you for sharing your experience anon

[pillarsalt]

When I was a trans-identified female and in the depths of my eating disorder, I was actively scrolling through the pro-ana tags on here. A lot of posts were under multiple different tags, including "boy/male ana." And when I clicked on it, it was full of other anorexic trans-identified females, not a single actual male in sight. There would be things like, "I wanna drastically lose weight so my breasts will go down and/or my jawline will look stronger and/or I'll generally look less female."

Despite the fact I was also trans-identified, this was probably my first wake-up call. I looked at these posts and was like, "How do they not see it?" I was struggling with anorexia long before I became trans-identified, and even before that, I wasn't happy with myself. I think I misconstrued my body dysmorphia with gender dysphoria. Honestly, I'd even go as far to say that my body dysmorphia actively caused my gender dysphoria, because body dysmorphia affects the entire body, including sexed characteristics - not just parts like the stomach and thighs. It's no surprise that gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia have overlapping/similar symptoms. I think gender dysphoria should be treated as a type of body dysmorphia and not a completely different thing, personally.

If I wanna go all conspiracy, while I do think oppressive societal roles for men and women (and fetishization of these roles + fetishization of homosexuality by heterosexuals) do contribute to gender dysphoria, I think a lot of it also has to do with both males and females wanting to escape how they look in general. I don't know many people who are genuinely happy with their body, and transitioning might be how a lot of people attempt to escape it. Like, I don't think it's a coincidence that as I developed exercising/eating habits that were actually healthy, my dysphoria went away.

Love your blog. Your art especially is very reassuring and calming to me. I hope you're doing well! <3

💜

[002yb]

(Just drooping it there)

My favorite flavors of monstruous!Dick are

1- When Dick is an eldritch deity

2- When he is half Veela

3- When he is seen as monstruous because of his abilities and skills, the fact that him being a nice and loyal person is the only thing holding him from bring doom into this world

Feel free to drop some more details on your favorite flavors here because my, oh my I'm (｡♥‿♥｡) !! Especially with eldritch deity!Dick like, hello? My interests are so piqued!

Since flavor 3 is my go-to, more thoughts to add on to yours (which are so good ahhhhh they make me so happy thank you for sharing!):

With a particular focus on Dick having an emotional capacity to him that lends itself to Dick being particularly adept at manipulation because yes, please.

It's an overlooked skill set of his. Those who recognize it refer to it as Dick being 'astute,' which - fine. Call it what you will. The be all end all is that Dick can and will control a situation to get a desired result.

And he likes it. He loves the challenge of it. And Dick knows the fact he enjoys it makes it that much more dangerous.

Pushing the limits of his social awareness, his emotional intelligence; how quick he processes and adapts.  How effectively he manages a situation, how well he can manipulate it. 

Something something Dick playing at intentional, superficial casualness while being actively very serious and capable and it takes people by surprise when they realize he's not strictly a friendly, airheaded ditz and that he can fuck them up.

Omgggggg give me this with the 'smarter' bats omg the pet peeve is so strong with this

The above on a skill/experience/ability level with the daily vigilante/hero fighting, but especially so with things that require planning/strategizing/intelligence, etc.

Slight change in direction here, because more monstrous than any of his skills might just be Dick's self-restraint? Something about his resolve being disturbingly intense. It can overshadow everything for him: instinct, stress, whatever needs he might have.

Just. Being fully capable of ruining the world and choosing to use everything he is for the better.

No one else realizing just how merciful Dick is or how dangerous he can be until something happens that makes him snap? Huff.

Also I've got nothing to add to it just admiring 'Dick is the only thing holding himself back from bringing doom to the world' i just like this a lot it's very nicely phrased, anon. ///u///

Extra thoughts:

This - with Dick having this unsettling ability to shut himself down to pain and act in spite of it in frightening ways. Just resolve dialed up to an inhuman level despite Dick being very much just a man.

[inchidentally]

thank you for being a voice of reason the last couple days, I've been trying (and failing) to keep my emotions in check and trying (and embarrssingly failing) not get into unnecessary fights over f1 of all things, but your commentary has been a much needed reality check for me lol

babe trust me social media is set up to get u like that <3<3 but yea you just have to look at the fact that this is about Men and specifically Rich Privileged Men who truly do not have the capacity to care as much about any of this as fans would like to think they do bc - apart from Lewis - the stakes in their lives are so unbeLIEVably hilariously low and exist in a toxic netherworld of moral relativity and inherent systemic supremacy. they literally Feel Bad :( and then go live fabulously carefree rarefied existences that have zero relationship w anything you or I could even fathom. parents not having much money to start with or bad things happen blah blah all of that happens to the rest of us but we have to have actual responsibilities and oppression on top of it. I'm not giving a second of my life to feeling intense emotions for any of these men bc I couldn't bear the stink hanging around me of knowing that second should've morally rightfully gone to literally any number of other human beings than Men who already have more than they've ever earned or deserved. they can all fucking cope with whatever bc they've got access to any amount of support they want or need and the rest of us do not.

same goes w my feed - I don't want to have anyone who isn't fully aware we're all here for Fandom Narratives Only and that's all these men are worth of our time.

first anon this isn't targeted at you I just feel like we can all do w a reminder of some kind that our emotions should be shared out only to people and things that are worth it !! the reason why hardcore stan behavior always turns into angry toxic sludge is bc way deep down those ppl are aware of how futile and one-sided their rages and passions and adoration are and that it's only making them more empty and therefore they invent a completely false version of their idol that can live inside their head and give them back a fake sense of attachment and fulfillment.

but even for those of us who are just fans/casuals, it starts feeling gross to experience any kind of negative emotion about sports/famous people/etc bc it achieves nothing for us and doesn't make us grow or add to our lives. we end up w just impotent rage and a misplaced emotional connection to people who have no actual role in our lives. I don't even like witnessing it on my feeds tbh bc I'm like be free of this !! life is short !! if sports men don't bring you joy or laughter or fun then throw them out bc they as people were never in your life anyway !

we've had a v peaceful time w landoscar but wanting them to do well was always gonna end up w certain ppl over-investing and stanning etc. but fortunately I think I've only had to unfollow maybe three ppl? who were kinda random follows anyway so I feel like it's still a comparatively peaceful place <3

not having any delu l-rry st-linson types in our fandom is prob a big reason for that too

[neonscandal]

Hello...just want to say, so happy !! Finally my best friend who is anti-shipping in shounen (and love to make fun of me because I have ships in every shounen that I watched/read), said that he can't find any het explanation for Gojo/Geto and Bakugou/Midoriya relationships...

Especially when I showed him your posts (that is based in canon and so true). Thanks for sharing your wonderful posts....

What do you think about JJK s2 op1 and ed1? I can't believe when I reas that the op is about geto from gojo's perspective (so romantic)....

OH ANON. HAVE I GOT SOME BRAINROT FOR YOUUUU. I've also noticed some of my older Satosugu posts are attracting attention and subsequently feel like I need to just list out all the most tragic things about them that I hold dear in a separate post because you've basically prodded a festering wound within me.

Re: Your last ask (maybe the same person?), I really only tried to focus on stuff that's already been animated because I try to avoid spoiling the fun for everyone. 🥹✨

It's hilarious that Gojo/Geto and Bakugou/Midoriya are the two relationships that stick out specifically considering their creators intently make them complements of one another.

Gege Akutami cited specifically that Gojo and Geto were designed to be a duo in an interview with Mandou Koboyashi (shout out to twitter user @/soukatsu_ or @soukatsu here as the real MVP for translating and adding further context for other fans). Fans seem to recognize their yin and yang design everywhere. There are countless salt and pepper shaker videos set to Ricky Montgomery's "Mr. Loverman" on tiktok, I'm positive. This is despite being marked by their dissonance.

Kohei Horokoshi has Bakugou and Midoriya recognized as two halves of the same whole by other characters in the story, most remarkably All Might who in many ways carves the deepest chasm(s) between them. The wax and wane of their unique development as individuals being integrally related is also something to note.

But this isn't unique to these two stories. I haven't even watched Naruto but know that Naruto and Sasuke serve as the sun and the moon to one another (literally within the story, their seals and by design/disposition) and I'm sure we could find this in other shows I haven't hyperfixated on haha

There's probably nothing new I can add to the MLM shipping discourse in shonen/seinen genres that hasn't been said, especially when it's been so eloquently broken down by IG user @/ariavelz. I also think there's a fair amount of queerbaiting in mainstream media and anime alike. Five seasons of Free! comes to mind...

Now the MUSIC!? In JJK? Bestie.

S1 already had me gagged with this brain worm. But, the fact that the song playing during Yuta and Rika's final moment in the fight vs. Geto and subsequently during the final moments Gojo and Geto share in that alley in JJK 0 was called "This is Pure Love"??? That's when I knew there were some Satosugu's on staff at Mappa. I don't think we need to dig into the parallels of how Yuta's fondness for Rika being the catalyst for her becoming a curse was the same way Gojo's fondness subsequently led to Geto's "comeback". Gojo, based on his experience at the time, said "love is the most twisted curse of them all" and time showed him just how twisted it really could be in season 2.

NOW THE OP!? It's just so lonely. Their cursed techniques being at odds with one another is so tragic, in a sense, and ultimately creates this divergence from one another. Geto, a genius of diligence, nobly consumes and sullies himself with the curses he has to imbibe like a martyr. Gojo, a genius of happenstance, is pristine. Born into privilege and untouched by the need to work hard or literally touch curses which Geto later grows to resent.

Meanwhile, Gojo's largely a product of isolation as imposed by his status and cursed technique and "Ao no Sumika" or "Where Our Blue Is" by Tatsuya Akitani waxes on about how, despite his best efforts, he could never reach Geto. The irony. As the story continues, we do, in fact, see that Gojo's never changed in the canonically affectionate way he regarded Geto. I think about this dissonance a lot. Literally, how did your Six Eyes miss that?

We could have shared everything. // Little by little since that day, // The curse of me being different from you grew thicker. The sorrow behind your smile, // All the way, I’ve regretted missing it. // To you, who bloomed and fell away as a fruitless flower, // Farewell. Our blue still lives, // Our blue is still clear. // No prayer or word could ever reach you, // No matter how close they could get to you. // In such a color as if it were a silent love, // Or as if it were a summer rolling down a cheek. // I’ve got a curse word for you stuck in the back of my throat. It is the unvoiced voice that says, // “We’ll see each other again, won’t we?” // Like star grains in an infinitely expanding galaxy, // Spilling through the gaps between my fingers

Now, I initially assumed the EP was from Gojo's perspective because Geto only seemed to smile in his presence (who's blushing face are we trying to see, afterall?). However, it is said to be from Geto's perspective and that, too, makes sense. Two viewpoints acting as bookends of the history between them.

I think what's sad about it is the way in which Gojo's POV is centered wholly on Geto, regardless of who or what he became; whereas Geto's perspective is more broadly applied to Gojo in part but also his own turmoil and moral dilemma.

Part of why Geto is thrown into such chaos is because of his inherently principled existence and yet, he is still the moon to Gojo's sun (Naruto, what are you doing heree?). Where Gojo always held a place for Geto, I think Geto assumed that his radicalization and subsequent defection marked a departure from Gojo because he was never really one to exist in shades of grey. Even if his impetus for this new society was ultimately to protect Gojo (and others like him) in the only way he felt he could.

Before my goodwill crumbles away, // I should have told you everything. // In a life descending and dissolving into the night, // Fuzzy emotions, a flickering light. With nothing to search for, love sways. // Living while concealing, // Hence, the moon is dark, head in flight. // Today, unable to go anywhere. // Sleeping, sleeping towards a brand new morning, // Loneliness under crying Though I understand a wounded heart // Why do I end up hurting and leaving the same scars? // Labeling it as ego, grouping it all together, // The true essence of you and me, burning transparently. Longing for change, but the feelings stay the same, // Only the form crumbles away, // Holding onto the hand of hope, your ghost Realizing that something seemingly everywhere // Exists only here, // In the trivial silence of the night. // Only I, residing in memories, awaken It exists only here. // I want to touch you, // Even with trivial conversations. // Show me your blushing face once more...

Pardon me, anon, while I burst into flames after reflecting on all this. 🫠

Edit: just adding this visual for everyone because SAME. 🥹

[aleksanderscult]

I have read about more capable heroes being more civil to a lot more heinous villains to solve problems. What do you thinking provoking him in this way would solve? Also yess about the "small victory" 😭. Miss Zoya, what would you have done if he had said no? HE was being reasonable here, you are being childish. Also what a waste to not use him: his experience, advice, allies, spies. Like? Ask him about that. Try to get information from him about that. Then use your own brain to filter it out and sort out the truths from the lies, what is this "you are EVILLLLL" thing going to do in your favour? You are having self doubts but you don't even think to look at him as an example. If ypu think he truly achieved nothing then at least use him as example on what not to do. All of this involves asking him questions like ughh.

We do not need our hero to constantly belittle the villain to seem him as a villain. The hero being able to put aside his pride for the greater good and working out an arrangement with the person he hates is an admirable thing. Which ok, your hero is allowed to not have. But then that is a flaw or ar least just not very heroic. And it's pretty absurd for all of your long list of heroes to have the same fucking flaw. How are they all on the same page. When did they become a hive mind?

THIS!!! THIS!!!

ALL OF THIS, GUYS!!!!

Literally, anon, I have nothing else to add. You explained it PERFECTLY!!

Just like you said, you don't need to have the heroes criticise the villain and point his evil actions and flaws. (Because NO SHIT SHERLOCK WE HAVE EYES AND HAVE ALREADY SAW THEM OURSELVES)

His actions have already spoken for himself and you should let the reader make his own conclusion and opinion about him.

Also:

WE DON'T READ THE FUCKING BOOKS TO GET CRITICIZED FOR LIKING A CHARACTER

BUT TO ENTERTAIN OURSELVES AND FORGET OUR LIFE PROBLEMS!!

Thank you.

Also, agree on how the FUCK ARE THEY ALL ON THE SAME PAGE???

Alina was willing to believe him in the beginning (S&B) but she got brainwashed by her surroundings and then she joined the "We're all right and devoted to good here and that fucker is nothing but EVIL!" gang. Now, how the Hell do they all agree on this, I don't know for the life of me.

And the last thing I want to comment and agree on is that in some other books I've read, things were kind of different.

Harry Potter books: The main character felt bad for Voldemort when he saw his past and understood his motivations based on his parentage and childhood (the "heroes" in the trilogy could never).

Percy Jackson books: At the end of the last book the main character (after killing the villain) decides to end the real problem that began the whole war (something that Alina never did with the Grisha after killing the Darkling).

So, to sum up, I agree with everything, anon. We share the same braincell on this.

[slashcrz]

I have seen you posting about this RP often but you have never posted an ounce of proof to back up your claims. I am also a bit confused as to why you remained in the group for so many months if you felt the admins were this bad? You even said you knew one of the admins from a previous group and thought they were bad and then still joined their group? It doesn't add up to me.

totally understandable. let me try and explain a little more about what happened in francehq, and why i feel everyone should take extreme precaution before joining this game... due to the nature of some of the experiences that myself, and others, had regarding the admin in question, i share the screenshots privately, off of anon, since they hold some personally identifying information. additionally - ive even had one person go through the effort of their changing their entire online alias just to avoid another potential run-in with the admins, after feeling bullied as well. there are at least 6 different personal accords about being victimized about this admin/admin team (see others sharing their experience after leaving here, and here. we also had support here.) i had 3 former members of francehq reach out to me to thank me for speaking up, sharing they had felt the same and had been gaslit by mars into feeling they were the problem. i can, of course, share these as well upon request but for the safety of those involved, i will be blurring their discord name. of course, many of the victims wish to keep their identity (mainly, their discord) private, i am sure you understand. this got long, so further intel is under the cut + screenshots.

as for the previous group (i assume you mean my comment here), i hesitated before joining francehq for awhile, but i firmly believe in second chances. i joined with a friend who also had concerns, but we wanted to trust that people can change. plus, in 1642 where i ran into mars before, it was just clique-y behavior, and ship chasing... nothing too major, things that can be grown from, right? unfortunately, it all got worse over the months spent in francehq. for me, my issues with mars started in september, and then we had a discussion in october where she admitted to singling me out & not writing with me due to a concern i'd brought up as a member to the admins. i was targeted, and i almost left. i stayed for my good friends, and our plots, and tried to just look past the behavior i was seeing. i think we all want to give the benefit of the doubt, when we can, right?

unfortunately, things worsened, and when things started to get racist and fetish-y, i took back to back hiatuses while i tried to make decisions. mind you - i had over 2k posts on my character blog! this was hours of my life, of my love. but the proof is in the pudding - i mean, look at francehq RIGHT NOW. 23 taken characters, between 3 muns - NONE of them are bipoc, and the majority of the poc are from idol music groups. it's extremely fetishy. additionally - here, here, and here is screenshots of the admin characters, and the relationships that were active (notice the face chasing? these are the characters in the group still).

the final kicker was when mars decided to rewrite the entire backstory of a taken character that she did not play. she decided that this character had to be white, had to be adopted, had to come from another noble family, and the mun had been writing this character for months. mind you - this character was not previously adopted and this character had a full intro, posted and everything. mars has a history of excessive godmodding (and character copying/theft). i can prove this, too. there was no genuine apology or effort made to rectify the godmodding.

ALSO - look at francehq. they have their askbox off, their replies off, their reblogs off, everything is locked down, and they are hiding. you dont hide, unless you have something to hide. i am happy to share my screenshots with anyone off of anon, if they reach out, and i've done so before! &lt;;3 ultimately, it is up to everyone to make their own decision, but i have had 10+ people come forward ( even people i have never met ) with personal experiences with mars. PLEASE TAKE CAUTION. if you decide to involve with this group, please be careful. that is all i am trying to do is spread the awareness.

also lets not forget that mars literally made a colonial rp in the past with heavy slave elements

[magicalbats]

hi it's doesn't-play-genshin-but-loves-your-genshin-fics anon i just wanted to report back: i've completed so many 'genshin lore for beginners' and 'genshin storyline so far' videos, and i'm eyeballs deep in fanart and random fics (especially childe dear LORD him especially god i love him oh my goddd) and i'm so blown away by how deep the story is for the game ???

i knew people praised the game for the characters and story but i didn't think it'd be THIS good, and i'm so grateful you encouraged me to go read up on it.............. the fact that some of the characters are just like regular people and others are straight up literal gods among men is hilarious and also sososo cool to me. zhongli's story was so cool and i love the fact that he's so deeply and intricately intertwined with liyue harbor and its people ;-; ♡

anway thank you it's all thanks to you ily thank you for broadening my horizons

Omggg anon 🥹 I’m so glad you’re enjoying everything so far! And just to tell you a little bit about my own experience, so you know it’s not just you who was a bit blind sided by the depth of the world building xmdmxmdm

I’ve tried a handful of other gacha’s in the past and I just could not get into them for anything. There was one I do actually really like on a theoretical level xmsmxks but I hated the game mechanics. I only played it for a few months before dropping it completely so I was very wary about getting into Genshin at first because I honestly thought I’d be wasting my time and it would just be something else I got no enjoyment out of. Im sure you can imagine my great surprise when I quickly realized this wasn’t just another cheap gacha with bare minimum effort put into it. It’s a whole ass world with extensive history and real, honest to god lore. The characters not only have their own individual backstories that span across various fields and interests and cultural inspirations, but Mihoyo at least puts in some work to further flesh them out beyond that too. Even the ones we’re still waiting to get any real spotlight shown on them have a fountain of potential just waiting to be untapped! It’s super exciting imo, to see how everything slowly fits into place to create the bigger picture of a fully functioning fictional universe, how each character is leading their own individual lives, but then you also add onto that how there are plenty of mysterious unknowns and future developments ahead of us too …

Frankly Genshin’s lore has done nothing but impress me. It gets confusing at times, yes, and occasionally theories that don’t make a lick of sense will gain traction to blur the lines even more, but overall this world feels very alive to me and our role as the traveler can be a very immersive one. I have been nothing if not impressed by the world building but it’s the characters that truly pulled me in and never let me go. lol I started playing specifically for Zhongli … and by the time I actually met him I was already hooked. 🤣 I’ve been obsessed with this damn game basically since day one and I’m still in a chokehold over a year later.

But ooooh, a Childe fan are we? 👀 I am in no way surprised, he is QUITE a man. Idk how up to date you are with the current storyline but uh, I am eagerly awaiting version 4.2 so we can see him again! (Potential spoiler??) The way he gave us his vision in 4.0 actually had me

Please feel free to come back and share all your thoughts with me! What other characters do you like? Favorite region? Which bit of lore do you find the most interesting?? I need the deets, anon! Please!

[hoghtastic]

Hey there! I remember that some had been discussing why most of the younger cast of vikings didn't really progress with their careers. I have just recently rewatched the whole show, and now with some time passed and not as much of a hype I personally felt like often the acting of them was honestly hideous. I noticed that especially with Marco, Ida, Georgia and yes also with Alex. Some of them clearly had some very good and memorable scenes but compared to what Travis did with his character I now understand that a lot of people abandoned or didn't like the show after Ragnars death. Yes, Ivar carried the show like a lot after that but I personally thing that the fact that Ivar just looked hot had a lot of saying with that. Because when I rewatched the show, I thought that with season 5 the story was more often written poorly then not! I know that they were young and didnt have that much experience, but honestly if that is their biggest advertisement for themselves I kinda understand it's hard for them to get new big jobs.

Just my 2 cents, sorry if most disagree, hope no one feels offended. Just thought to myself its almost a bit surprising how my own view changed with a bit of distance form the fandom and hypetrain.

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion, anon! 😊 It's a really interesting perspective, and it's totally understandable that with some time and distance our views on things will change.

If I may also add my two cents, from my experience talking to friends and acquaintances who also used to watch Vikings, people abandoning the show after Ragnar's death had nothing to do with the new actors' skills. They were just really attached to Ragnar as a character and felt really disappointed that they decided to kill the main character, so much that they didn't see a point in continuing to follow the story, as the sons' story wouldn't be the same without Ragnar. So some people gave up right away, not even giving the show and the new cast a chance. It also didn't help that, at the time, only seasons 1 to 5 were available on Netflix, and most people didn't feel like subscribing to another platform (Amazon Prime, if I'm not mistaken) to see the 6th and final season. And while I agree that sometimes the writing wasn't the best, we can't really blame the actors' skills for that either, as they try to do their best with what they're given, I believe. 😅

I also absolutely agree when you said that "they were young and didn't have that much experience", but being on Vikings was already a huge achievement and they could have worked on improving their skills after that. I can only comment about Alex, whose career I've been following the closest in comparison to the others you mentioned, but I'd say that the problem wasn't his performance in Vikings. He showed a huge potential and commitment to the character, even if he wasn't perfect. The problem was what he did after. It seemed to me (based on past interviews) that he got a little picky with which roles he'd accept, considering some smaller ones as some kind of "downgrade" after Vikings. He also didn't seem to have resumed his formal studies or any other kind of education that would help him improve as an actor. And in such a competitive field of work, where good big roles are somewhat scarce, I don't think those were very clever choices. But this is just my personal opinion, of course, and maybe he preferred to prioritize his mental health back then and is happy doing some lighter work nowadays. 😊

[zu-is-here]

Hi Zu!

A bath or a shower? And what temperature of water — cool, warm, hot?

Sounds like your bed is very cosy, good for you 💞 And I've got one big pillow, one small, and two blankets that I use in rotation (warmer one for when it's cold, lighter one for when it's warm, and in summer there's usually no blanket at all, because it's too hot here). Also a small handmade fox to cuddle and fall asleep with, I absolutely love him.

What a relief (x Sleep is good in right amounts, more or less can be harmful, just like anything else, after all. And thanks for the interesting comparison, it's indeed something like that!

Again, thanks for the support 🌻

Uhhh, that's a difficult question. Changes made me nervous and anxious since forever, but I can't tell if it's really me or just my depression. In any case, it is a bit better now. Especially when I'm with my beloved. It's not as scary to try new things and change something when she's there for me. That's how I tried coffee, and that's how I started traveling by plane, and so many other things.

Thank you so much for sharing this! It really means a lot to me, and now I love these places as well — merely for existing. And for bringing back good memories, of course.

And thank you for listening! It's nice to tell this story to someone who listens so attentively, and it's even better to get another person who believes in us 💜

Oh, that's much better! I guess everybody needs a change of scenery, perhaps it'd be easier to get burnt out if you wrote both for work and pleasure. We definitely don't want that. Besides, you still can write a thing or two if you ever feel like it. Or not. You're amazing at drawing nonetheless, and it's even better that you're comfortable with this way of expressing yourself. Perfect, isn't it?

Oh, but I don't like them, I love them! Absolutely adore! Broomie!Papyrus is something I desperately needed without even knowing it, so thank anons for the idea and you for the embodiment 💗 You all are the best. (Also I might or might not need to dig into it and find the possible lore behind this new character so I could maybe find Multiverses with him and perhaps even finally write about Ink without deep hurt in my soul.)

What a funny and random way to hear about something! Although Zu in Modao zushi is pronounced dzu, not just zu. As a passionate Chinese learner, can't help but add this (x And, unfortunately, you misunderstood about the obscene scenes. What I mean is, the way those are written is absolutely, extremely awful. There's no exaggeration here. I was so shocked and disappointed when I first read it (and I didn't even finish), and then angry, because what the hell, that's not how it works. I'd like to give you a warning as well, but that's for DMs, since the topic is rather sensitive. Hopefully it will help to make your experience with this novel more pleasant!

Anything good you'd like to share about today? Nothing much happened to me yet (I'm writing and sending this in the morning after all (x), but yesterday I worked a bit on one of my poems. There is still much to do, but it definitely got better!

Take care! *hugs*

Hi anfie╰(*´︶`*)╯

At every possible chance — a bath! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) Preferably very hot and foamy ♪ Isn't it such a pleasure to warm up to the bone, getting all mushy and sleepy before going to bed,,, I usually have enough time for a shower only though :') What about you? ☆

Awww what a lovely place to fall asleep! (ㅅ´ ˘ `) It must feel so good to have such an option with pillows (which one is the most preferable?) and a couple of blankets for any weather (or mood heh)~

That's the spirit! (òwó) It's so nice to have someone who you can be yourself with but it's much better to also improve with them ♡

Guess you're right, thanks a lot (ówò) And I'm really happy to know you liked the concept of Broomie!Papyrus that much <3 Oh wowie— that would be amazing! You know, I'm always looking forward to more of your ideas and works *^*

I know right! I don't understand Chinese at all and even more so its pronunciation so all thanks to the spelling that's mistakenly confused with my name by Tumblr XD And thanks for the clarification! As for the scenes, oh... I'm so sorry you had to run into that while reading, hope that negative experience doesn't cloud your subsequent perception! By the way, how did you find this story? (・∀・)

Lately the days are flying! ٩( ᐛ )و So many things to do even though it's just holidays %) Hope I can breathe as soon as I finish my diploma so that I can have two weeks off before the judgment day... Oh! Any luck with the poem? *^* I'm sure you're doing amazing, keep up the great work! ☆

Take care *hugs* ♡

[k-s-morgan]

Yo, whoever just....SENT you UNSOLICITED ctitism??? They're either a youngling that hasn't learned the rules or fanfiction or they're just an asshole. That ask was worded very politely but that was such an assholish thing to do??? "Sadly, I will stop reading your story" DUDE WHO CARES. YOU DEADASS COULD'VE JUST QUIETLY STEPPED OUT WHEN THE STORY STARTED TURNING IN A DIRECTION THAT MADE YOU UNCOMFY WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. There was literally NO NEED for them to come tell you all that and the only reason they did is because they're arrogant and think that only their opinion matters. They just...disregarded creative freedom completely. You handled it well but I just wanted to stop by and tell you that your characterization is actually very realistic and it is miles better than some other fics I've seen, which I will not name because I'm NOT AN ASSHOLE. Sorry to come ranting into your inbox but that ask got me fired up.

Another message:  horrible anon that wrote the rude condescending& pathetic ask ab harry being weak for not being able to stomach tom MURDERING people i have no words. made me mad! book harry would NOT be okay with murder! & fuck them for saying those mean things ab u that arnt true. this is UR story. u can do WHATEVER u want with it. nobody has any right to demand things from u & u dont have to take any criticism if u dont want it. the entitlement of some people🤬. also i dont know why they assume you should care their going to “stop reading” like okay bye 😌 still gonna have like 200,000 hits

Another message from @likorys-shimenawa:  I didn't want to be rude the anon, but... "You know something is wrong with your characterisation when more than one person gets hot and bothered about it" seriously broke me. They DO remember that people still think Snape was an incel out for hookup with Lily? When the only person to believe that was damn VOLDEMORT? Just cause many people say something doesn't make it true. Also - Harry's 'constant whimpering'? Did they miss how he spend months hung up on the Horcruxes, doing nothing, as well?

-----------------------------------------------------

I decided to group most of criticism-related asks together - I hope you don’t mind! Thank all of you for your support, it really means a lot to me. I’m not very bothered by negative comments/asks, but they sure aren’t pleasant to get.

The thing with stories is that everyone perceives them in a unique way. I saw the most ironic evidence of this with my Russian Snape-centered fic. I got two comments in sequence from two different people: one said my Snape is too nice; the second one said he is too evil. Everyone else felt he was canon-like. It was funny to see these comments posted right next to each other, and none of them was technically wrong: people have their view of the character, and it won’t always coincide with that of others.

It’s inevitable to lose readers along the way. The more relevant decisions characters make, the more defined the plot becomes, and some people start finding it not to their liking. That’s okay, but it’s important to remember that your experience is your own. Others might not share it.

That’s why I‘m not going to reply to asks similar to the one I got again. I already explained my view, there is nothing left for me to add. But to sum it up for the last time:

I think Harry’s ability to love can be a curse just as it can be a gift. I think he’s pretty strong, even though this love cripples him in many ways. He raised a better version of Tom on the global scale and a worse monster on the local one. He managed to control Tom’s destructiveness for years, and it broke his heart every time Tom did something similar to Voldemort. Beth was a shock because Harry’d believed he was succeeding in making Tom better just by loving him and explaining what’s right and what’s wrong. After that, he was constantly wary, yet the more Tom lived without hurting anyone, the more hopeful Harry became. Every setback shook him, but Tom never killed again - he learned how to stop, and Harry tried to focus on this. He had evidence of Tom being better, so his expectations worked accordingly. Learning about Charlus was a terrible blow because for one thing, Harry was already feeling terrible due to killing a person and watching his student die to protect him. For another, he realized that Tom killed a part of his family again. Of course he was stunned and horrified - this was his worst nightmare come true. And the ritual was the last drop in the overfilled bowl of his patience and hopes. Harry tried to watch out for others, he forgot to watch out for himself.

In my eyes, this is consistent with his behavior in canon + the changes he lived through in WHGTB. I’m happy that many readers share this view, and I’m sorry others don’t (though I get it), but I really don’t need to know that you want to stop reading. If the story no longer makes you feel happy or interested, just close it and look for another one. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and no writer can please everyone. Characterization is a complex thing - for the most part, it’s not universal. Things you disagree with will be something others agree with and vice versa. That’s fiction, and that’s why it’s such a fascinating concept.    

[momtaku]

(Part 2) Jewish anon here... sorry it got lost. I've been a fan of AOT for years now, but only heard of the allegations of it being "antisemtic" quite recently. I was FURIOUS. Not because of my attachment to Aot, but because of the horrible misuse of the term. Calling something antisem (when it's clearly not) erases the legitimacy of the term. At least from my POV.

(Part 3) It all boils down to clout. The people that call Aot antisem either haven't watched it fully (or at all) or just want headpats. I can also put my money on it that they haven’t experienced antisemitism. I have the biggest contempt for these sort people (and I wish I didn't, because there are bigger things to think about) because they're throwing around a very serious term that has a lot of power. For me antisem isn't a pop word to throw around on twitter, it's a real thing I live with.

(part 4) It’s also so stupid, it’s mind numbing. I wrote this for the anon that is feeling guilty about liking aot (and they shouldn't, it's flawed but still a great piece of entertainment), and as a thank you for replying to it in your usual calm manner. You certainly did it better than I could! So than you for that and your posts, you presence is like an oasis in fandom :)

Part 1 is here

I hope anon sees this. I think your words will do more good for them than mine ever did.  I have nothing to add except that I agree. Overusing strong terms and casually tossing about accusations can lead to desensitization and a loss of meaning in the message. It’s like crying wolf so often that people forget what a wolf actually looks like.

Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experience 💕

[lookbluesoup]

Hey Wyn! I Just read all of your Blue Soup series! I love it all!!! Every word of it is fantastic! I've been wanting to start writing Fanfiction for Fallout for a long time, but I've always been intimidated by the prospect of writing already-established characters and "ruining them" (especially characters like Piper, Preston and Nick, who I plan to make main characters in my story). Do you have any advice on dealing with this?

Hi Anon! Thanks so much for your kind words! ;w; I’m certainly no expert and know this fear personally, but I’ll ramble here about my process and how I try to think about things. Hopefully it can encourage you, too! :D I’ll add the disclaimer that this is what works for me, and what works for me might not work for others, that’s ok! 

First off - writing is for fun. Wanting to do justice to the characters and capture their essence is a great goal, and also a learning process. You don’t have to do it perfectly, nor should you try. Perfection implies there’s nothing more to learn or grow over, which is one, unachievable, and two, the death of innovation. Just do the best you can with what you know, and let your passion for the characters guide the process. And be gentle with yourself. 

Our own experiences and preferences will effect how we write these characters, what traits of theirs stand out to us, how we define their shape, at least in small ways, and that’s not inherently bad. Just like many different artists can draw a character in 100 different styles and that character is still recognizable and familiar (and enjoyable!), writers can emphasize 100 different facets of that character, too. If you’re putting your heart into it, you won’t ruin them. Saw a beautiful LotR post the other day about that, talking about how the movies are different from the books, but the love for the story and characters shows because the people who made those movies were passionate about it, and they’re worthy adaptations of the stories’ spirit. It’s the same for fanfiction.

It’s personally more fun for me to think about the writing process like I’m exploring a character rather than making a statement about a character, which are two very distinct mindsets for me. Exploring is fun, engaging, its ok to change your mind and edit or alter your story as you get new information. It’s like a puzzle, thinking through a character’s motivation, finding ways to incorporate that into a story. Making a statement is more 'fixed’, and implies pushing a narrative as the correct one, which adds a lot of pressure. Personally? I don’t like pressure hahaha 

Still - it’s hard not to feel obligated to do something to a certain standard for one reason or another. My anxiety likes to tell me lots of little lies, and it can be very convincing. When it strikes, working through my nerves is often harder than actually writing LOL

When I first started writing Fallout fanfic, I didn’t post it anywhere. That took a LOT of the pressure off, knowing that none of this needed to, or was even intended to be, shared with others who might judge. These stories were just between me and the characters. It was safe. I could work at my own pace and enjoy the process in my little tide pool. Since deciding to share them, I’ve been really grateful for the support readers have given! It feels good, I’m glad I found the courage to post them.

As for working out that puzzle of what seems most likely for a character, how to capture the heart of them, I love voice lines! Codex entries! Compilations! The best way to get to know a character is to spend time with them. I take Piper everywhere with me, I want to know what she thinks about everything, her character really struck a chord with me and, well, cue hyperfixation hahaha I use the Windows 10 Game Bar to record audio clips and have a massive archive of her voice lines. Flipping through these is a useful tool for me to get back into her “pattern” of speaking. All the Companions have distinct voices and tendencies, which is another neat aspect to writing them. I feel more confident knowing I had access to the source material. Also I just. Like listening to her voice sometimes. Shhh

Other great resources for this are the wiki (which has text files of most, if not all, each character’s dialogue lines and conversation trees) and youtube companion reaction comps - this SOUNDS like a lot of work. But for me at least I love it, it doesn’t feel like work because I’ll be excited looking for specific lines a la “how does she talk when she’s angry”, “what does she have to say about mirelurks”, you don’t have to keep everything about each character in your head memorized - these audio and text files are great archives to find what’s relevant to a scene quickly.

When I got into Fallout, I also got interested in 1950s movies, music, and even radio shows like Johnny Dollar and Green Hornet. This gave me context around the characters, too. For example, Piper’s kickass reporter vibes throw back to a lot of old sleuthing reporter tropes, and interpreting her actions through some of those filters felt more authentic to me than applying her behavior to a modern day setting or my own inclinations. I guess along with that I’d also say, take notes! Have an observation? Write it down in a notes file, or a google doc, somewhere you can sync between your devices and add to whenever you think about it. What stuff sticks out to you as important or defining for these characters, what trends do you notice? If you have bullet points written down, these also make great quick references. Here’s a few screenshots from the terror that is my notes docs:

You can see they’re just short notes or scribbled down thoughts that I can quickly reference if I’m wondering how she might act in a certain scene at a certain time! For me getting into a character’s headspace is often more of a feeling than any kind of scientific research, having easy access to these pointers helps put me in the right state of mind to jump into the creative pool and swim around and get soaked in - character goo - okay bad metaphor. Anyway,

None of these are rules that you have to follow or things that you have to do to get the characters “right”, they’re just potential tools that can help you find information to build off of, and hopefully feel more confident. Maybe something else is more useful to you with organizing or keeping your head clear for writing, it’s cool to experiment and find out what works for you!

[babbushka]

Hey, Mrs Z

I've really not been enjoying university lately and it's been making me pretty anxious consistently, like I don't do badly grades wise better than I thought I would do, but it just makes me feel off. I thought it would get better in second year but it hasnt. I just wanted to know if you have any advice or if you had a similar experience cause you seem to be pretty wise on this stuff and I respect your opinion. Thanks bunches xx

Hello my dear anon! 

Please may I first just say that you are so loved, and you matter more than your grades, and your self worth as a person has no tie whatsoever to academic achievements. Don’t ever forget that. You are wonderful, you are smart, and kind, and I love you very very much. 

You also, are not alone!! Please don’t feel as though you have to sit with all this anxiety all by yourself, the stress of university is something that everyone goes through to some degree, and (for the most part) your tuition pays for so many different resources that you can take advantage of! 

I of course don’t know your specific university’s setup, but I know that many of them have people you can talk to, that will be able to give you more specific help or advice. Please don’t feel bad about using them, you’re already paying for it! 

(the rest of this is going under a cut because it got long smh im too wordy im sorry)

My personal experience was basically an amazing time in undergrad, but my final quarter of grad school was.....hell. Like the kind of hell where I wanted to drop out and move home and hide my face from the world in shame forever (I got straight As, but I was absolutely miserable and burnt out and grieving a family loss and it was just...bad). 

I spiraled into a very dangerous depression, I wasn’t sleeping or eating or going out much, I was barely showing up to class, and I wanted to be done. At that point, I had been in university for 6 years straight with no summers or semesters off, and I was officially at my breaking point. I stuck through it because I was like literally 10 weeks from graduation, but I do know how brutal it can feel, so I am with you in that regard, I truly am. 

As for advice, I do have some words that I’d like to share, but of course you have to always do what is right for you, no matter what anyone says. You know yourself and your situation the best, these are just the things that helped me. 

The biggest piece of advice that I have is, don’t be afraid to make changes to your schedule. Second year is still early enough in your academic journey to change majors or add a minor, if you find that you’re unhappy with what you’re doing. When we first start school, we’re told straight away that it’s a huge decision -- and it can be! But it is not a final decision. 

If your classes aren’t fulfilling, change them! If you have an opportunity for a fun elective completely out of the norm for your major, take it!! Some of the best times in university I ever had, were in classes that had literally nothing to do with my degree. I have a BA in film and an MFA in animation but my favorite classes were all fine arts or history! 

There is more freedom than you think, and that’s something I think we forget. You have the freedom to move your schedule around, to join clubs and leave clubs, to explore new places on campus, to meet new people. You have the freedom to rest and care for yourself. No one is going to know a year from now if you skipped one class. No one is going to hold it over you if you do poorly on an assignment. You have the freedom to say “this isn’t what I want anymore” and you can change it. It might mean that you’re in school for a semester or two longer, but if it’s the right path for you, then take it. 

Which leads me to my other piece of advice, don’t feel like you have to rush through university. In grad school, the maximum amount of classes we were allowed to take was 3, and with that came about an 80/90 hour workweek since they were all studio classes. I knew people who took 3, and I knew people who took 2, and I knew people who took 1 at a time. Everyone works at a different pace. Everyone has a different threshold for what they can reasonably handle without going insane. I took 3 classes, and let me tell you that was so detrimental to my health (physically and mentally) in that last quarter. 

If you’re feeling so anxious and just not right and not like yourself, you may be taking on too much. There is no shame in delaying your path by an extra semester or two. There is no shame in moving at your own pace. If a full schedule is way too much, reduce it! You’re going to be paying for those classes anyway, might as well set it up so that you can actually enjoy them while you’re taking them. When you’re able to focus on fewer things at once, I find that you absorb them much better, and that will ultimately serve you better in the long run. 

I would like to end this by saying I think it’s also really important to note that everything, everything, is more stressful and anxiety inducing because of covid. Even if you don’t think so consciously, it is. Please give yourself some slack. Please give yourself some time to rest and relax. It’s so so important, now more than ever, to care for yourself first and foremost. 

Again, I’m sending you so much love and know that I’m proud of you. I wish academia weren’t so stressful, and I’m afraid I don’t have a cure for that. But I hope that you’re able to pinpoint why you’re feeling this way, and can take some actions like the ones I mentioned above to try and mitigate some of that. I’m wishing you the very best my dear anon!