#i've done more worldbuilding that i like
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betrayal
It wasn't his fault he died. Not the first time. Nor the second.
Do you know why the gods don't interfere with mortals?
Because even they feel shame and pity. Even they cringe away at the thought of grief. Timeless beings were always unsettled by death.
They killed him, though. Memories bled, from one life into the next. From the next back. He couldn't separate one lifetime from the other. What happened when.
Mercy, they said.
An injustice. Corrected.
And they let him rest in an opulent room that simultaneously seemed too much and not enough. His. His room. He had a room.
It felt like they expected him to know. Know where the lights were and which door led to the bathroom.
A god, was he a god, now? A god shouldn't yearn for mortality. They should think it a curse, a cage.
Mortal life is a terrible, wretched thing. It was his prison sentence. Meant to torment him with the struggles of humanity compared to the ease of godhood.
His memories bled.
Was his mortal life so terrible? And this life so wonderful? Was he doing something wrong? To feel so suffocated? To feel such deep resentment?
They all stared at him like they were waiting for something. Like he was a dog about to jump through a hoop. It was unnerving. Why did they stare?
What did his first life entail?
Why did it end?
He had a headache.
Were gods meant to feel this way?
#my writing#not a prompt#post about my wip 'march' bc i love it#i've done more worldbuilding that i like#i need to do more editing but i'm so lazy ;-;
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................ he
#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he#cats#EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he#I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video#s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted#for now though yeah.. just cats#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a#sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist#who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb#and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left#undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth#So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects#so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on#this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on#them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain#organizes tasks sometimes lol#***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word#it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee#Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing#Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!
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Shoutout to my siblings for putting up with my neurodivergent ass. Just now I remembered how multiple times I tried to convince them that we should roleplay a complex trading system between towns and/or nations. I wanted no plot, one dimensional characters, and all the focus on trade. It's a miracle they didn't tease me more lol
#why was I so obsessed with playing trade?#i enjoyed creating poltics; religions; histories; and cultures so much more but all of that stuff I prefered to do myself#why was trade the one worldbuilding thing I wanted to share?#anyway I was basically made for worldbuilding I guess#I do worldbuilding a lot and then never write stories for most of those#and then ironically many of my stories I feel lack good worldbuilding#it's like I can't blend the two :(#or maybe it's just that I get Too caught up in worldbuiliding so in order to focus on writing a plot I need to ignore it? idk#anyway my brain has been running in circles all day#i have spent all afternoon and evening sewing and scrapbooking#two hobbies I have never done before today#I also really really want to make a dollhouse by hand which is also something I've never done#why is creativity like this?#idk but I'm having fun :D#sorry I haven't been writing tho#personal
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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in tonight's endeavor to be distracted from Everything, i have painstakingly jotted down the base, beginning ideas for a modern human au. it includes a gap-year group road trip in Wally's RV, Home
#& i've only got... the Very base ideas and 1 neighbor done#worldbuilding continues to be my go-to coping method#plotting it out from Tiny Days to established Graduates In Their Late 20s!#a worthy distraction indeed!#the most traditionally successful of the bunch is frank - an entomology professor!#poppy has a tea house! howdy still has his store! barnaby is a bartender for a gay club! eddie does drag performances there! etc!#its fun to think about and even more fun to jot down in a document#im trying to estimate whats most likely for them based on What We Know#which is not must! but i can make educated guesses!#and this is all for personal fun anyway <3#absolutely unprompted#i thought i would be scribbling tonight... no... au building....#also since this is a human au and they can all get injured#Im Putting Wally Darling In The Hospital#and im making it as emotionally/psychologically damaging to barnaby as possible#because thats the drama i live for babey! maiming and intense guilt!#nah dw im not gonna Maim him maim him. just gonna fuck em up a lil. broken bones and all that
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*squints* *adjusts glasses*
*sees your (very neat) “Ask Me About My Paradise State Lore” shirt*
hm…
good day! ✨
could you tell me about this “Paradise State”? :D
(if it’s too much feel free to make it reallll short)
Paradise State (work in progress) is my furry soap opera comic project I've been working on since late 2022 (around the same time my soap opera obsession started 😅). Originally it served as a personal dumping ground for various characters and stories that I had previously created and abandoned over the years, but over time has evolved into a sort of serial drama sandbox for me to play around in.
The story itself primarily takes place in Felicity, a fictional 50th state on the east coast of the USA (Hawaii is a separate country in this universe don't worry about it 😁). Within Felicity is Calico City, the major metropolitan area that most of the cast come from, with a thriving nightlife scene and plenty of economic enterprises ruling the the city.
Being a soap opera with an ensemble cast, Paradise State doesn't have a singular main protagonist: characters come in and out of focus based on the importance of whatever storyline they're actively involved in. For example:
One the first story arcs of Paradise State centers around Emmeline Fairchild, a struggling actress returning to the east coast in search of work, trying desperately to move on from her troubled past in Hollywood. She reunites with old friends and family in Calico City, hoping to make a fresh start after all the time she's spent away from home. But in spite of her best efforts, her past seems intent on catching up with her...
Another story arc focuses on Ruthie Campbell, a humble farmhand toiling away on her family's ranch just west of Clover Hills. She doesn't want much from life; just to work hard and maintain her maternal grandfather's legacy. However, an unexpected visit from her long lost father threatens the peaceful life she's worked so hard to build...
And yet another story arc centers Sylvia Carmichael, a rich spoiled brat used to getting everything she wants (with the help of her father's money). Her father threatens to withhold her trust fund unless she shapes up and proves herself a worthy heiress, so she decides to worm her way into another rich man's heart. Little does she know, her newest sugar daddy has some long forgotten ties to her real daddy, and her gold digging schemes fan the flames of a decades old revenge plot...
These are just a tiny fraction of the plots and characters of Paradise State for now. It's a little harder to talk about Paradise State as a whole unit since the stories are meant to be more character driven, but that's just a little peek into my sandbox for now! :3
#pentababbles#pentadraws#paradise state#art#furry#this ask has been in my drafts for a week now but i only got around to answering it today oopsie#i wanted to try adding image descriptions this time around! hopefully theyre a lil helpful? i've been meaning to get into the habit#but yea. a little glimpse into paradise state :D#i've been meaning to do a little more proper worldbuilding of Felicity itself lately like the locations and such#i'm. generally hoping to have done enough planning within the next couple of months to have the first issue released by january 2026#also hoping to make a separate website for paradise state so people can access the story without having to dig around for it too much
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I am taking The Step and being a very brave boy and I am going to start setting up my non fr art account. for REAL this time. no “I say I will do this and oops I don’t” it’s For Real and if it’s not up soon you have permission to kick me. I wrote some introduction post the other day that turned into a million page long essay so i’ve gotta like... actually draw shit, instead of just wall of text worldbuilding infodump lmao. I thought, hey let’s give a little primer into my world. and then I immediately went into a rant about geological history i didn’t even GET to the main species until like 2/3 of the way down lmfao
but I have spent too long letting that account haunt the back of my brain. its posting time!!! (I am utterly terrified to post things you have no idea.) but that’s how it goes. soon. maybe this week once i get some exams out of the way. it WILL happen
#also it's not going to be All worldbuilding. like I will do other stuff. but that's probably the bulk of it at least at the start#put it off long enough!!!!!!!!!#i have decided who cares if nobody likes my little brainworms. they are MY brainworms and i love them so much#they are incredibly self indulgent for me personally and if nobody likes that thats okay. because they are everything i like wrapped up into#one wormy little dweeb. and i love that#plus I just. wanna share worldbuilding ideas like why did I even become a paleontologist to NOT use all that information to make other cool#stuff. right!! right.#so I WILL be ranting about geological history and there's nothing you can do about it. i WILL be ranting about the evolution of these fellas#it is my space to Go Ham instead of just storing it all in my brain like i've always done. now you can come along for the ride#but i can't rant more tonight lol my head is killing me. but i am making a PROMISE. it will be soon. it will be within a couple days#no more stalling!!!#rambles#and please god i will try not to infodump everything i need to actually draw accompanying shit lmao
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Oh god the new cotl trailer is dragging me right back in... Damn you goat why must you relight my interest in this game so
#rat rambles#Im still pissy abt the balance changes they made last update but Im starting to be more willing to play again#hopefully theyll rebalance fragile relics as a whole in the next update they need them so bad#cannot emphasize enough that the dice went from one of the best relics to literally the actual worst ones by becomibg fragile#which they needed nerfed I agree with that I just hate how lazy the nerf was and how they might as well have been deleted from the game#all the last balance patches did is make the game less fun imo which is why I dropped the game so hard#but my interest is being relit and Im hoping they learn better this time#anyways look away Im going to be cringe and have hcs for a second#so yeah I've secretly had a bunch of cotl hcs this whole time and the goat fits quite nicely into them actually#I dont actually hc them as from another universe and more from another plain of existence#mostly the plain we only get glimses of being the sea where the dead lie#the goat is basically a god of this sea and in particular I imagine them as smth of a god of souls#the reason their crowns are so similar is two fold with part of it just being that they work with similar domains and most of it being that#the beings that created these crowns were sibling gods who embodied the gateways of death#in my hcs the crowns do often lead their hosts in certain directions in their own unique ways so the goat was likely lead by their crown#the main thing that seperated them before was life and death but the lamb has done a great job at breaking those boundaries#anyways now the lamb and goat can be bad people together <3#the lamb is sitting here with their internal reasonings and sense of self righteous and the goat is just here to have fun#anyways back to not talking abt cotl hcs these guys are not my blorbos I just like worldbuilding
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i need more sitting-down activities that i can do outside urghghh i want to sew but it's too windy (even just a small breeze is too much) to be working with little pieces of fabric and thread. also sidenote hey guess who learned they've been tying knots in the thread the wrong way their entire life (Kam says we did actually know the correct way to tie a knot years ago but that knowledge didn't get passed to me as a part but I don't know if I believe that fsdjkl). i've been doing some arcane wizard shit with tying the thread after threading the needle and I watched a video a few days ago of someone sewing something and saw the way they looped it around their finger and pulled it through and my brain just about exploded HFDSGJKL
anyways. i usually end up drawing outside but sometimes I simply do not want to draw. same with crochet. but I don't know any other easy sitting-down activities that i can do outside so then i don't get outside as often as I'd like to because I cannot think of anything to do AUGH
#and i'd like to go for walks more but unfortunately we have bears in the neighbourhood in broad daylight fdsjkl#so walking by myself is not really safe#sucks though bc i miss walking down to the [redacted] to just hang out in nature :(#somehow with the many hobbies i have i do not feel like i have enough fdsjkl#i always feel like i should be doing more. more for fun and more for creating and more for productivity and more for trying to find income#augh augh augh. psychic damage x10000000#i could work on just plain old worldbuilding i guess in my notebook hmmmm but i think i'd like Two more activities to choose from#mostly i just want to SEWWWW that's all i've been wanting to do lately bc i'm making a really fun lil thing sdfjkl#i may share it here when im done but also maybe i'll be too embarrassed fsjkl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#WAIT !!!!!!! READING !!!! I CAN READ OUTSIDE#OKAY ONE MORE ACTIVITY I CAN DO OUTSIDE AND THEN I'LL HAVE FIVE TO CHOOSE FROM
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19 for the worldbuilding prompts + Torr?
the profound quiet of a small settlement at night
North Eastmarch is freezing cold all over, but it wears different outside the city than within.
Torr would never call Windhelm warm – not even in summer months, no matter how used to it they are – but what little heat it has it clings to with great determination. The walls huddle together, trapping the air so that it’s either still and muggy or a howling wind, like each close-knit house is breathing in tandem. The heat of the people run up and down its streets, blood through its knotted stone veins. The city is alive, an ecosystem unto itself; its snow, dark with footprints, runs sludgy down the roads; a fireplace is always burning somewhere.
Outside of the walls, surrounded by nothing but empty air and snow-laden trees, a slow-moving stream running with barely a burble – it feels dead, in contrast. Silent. Branches reach needle-sharp across the blue-black sky, the ground is gleaming white and undisturbed by anyone else’s footprints, and the nearest fire is the barely visible gleam of the Kynesgrove mining camp, up the hill and through the sporadic spindles of the trees. The breeze ghosts past Torr’s neck and whips the mud-stained snow into a flurry.
In the city, Torr’s comfortable sleeping almost anywhere – as comfortable as they ever get, anyway. Some of the buildings have great gaps under the porch where the snow can’t reach and no-one ever finds them; there’s places in the nooks of the walls, and sheds built into the side of the house that people don’t lock, and Torr knows a few people besides who don’t mind him kipping on their floor every now and again, as long as he doesn’t ask too often. The outside isn’t like that. There’s not many places to go. He’s lurking around Kynesgrove tonight – on his way back from a quick venture out to get some things done that pay better than running errands around the markets – and there aren’t many options. The inn, which he can’t afford – the mine, which would be warm but is very guarded – the miner’s encampment or someone’s house, both of which would most likely result in being chased off. Besides, there’s a performative element to meeting people, especially adults, in strange places, and Torr’s not in the mood to play to strangers. So much of his being is caught up in Windhelm’s grimy alleys, tangled in the hair and fingers of its discarded children; he doesn’t know how to be himself away from it all.
But they don’t have to, seeing as there’s the rickety old sawmill on the edge of a stream feeding into the harbour. It’s not bad, as shelter goes; no walls, so the wind rubs its fingers wraithlike down Torr’s cheeks and tangles them in his hair, but at least there’s a roof. It looks newly thatched, too, the floorboards free of rot, the water-wheel still chugging creakily along. There’s no wood to cut here, all the nearby surrounding trees too scraggy to be worth the bother. The only big ones are part of the grove up on the hill. There’s no point in keeping the mill running, but Torr is glad it is; he watches the distant firelight flickering through the scrub, and listens to the splashing of the wheel. It’s proof that people and the things they make do still exist – if not necessarily here.
It really feels dead, out in the cold, with the leafless trees and the wind that doesn’t even whisper. It always does. It’s a bit discomfiting, which is maybe why Torr doesn’t go on out-of-city endeavours as often as perhaps he could; but really, there’s not work out here enough to make it worth it. There’s always problems with bandits on the road, but Torr’s not a good enough fighter for bounty work; there’s collecting plants and things to sell Nurelion, but that’s easy enough to do on a day trip. (And, really, it’s more for Torr’s own enjoyment, besides. They never even venture far south enough to get to the sulphur pools, which is where the more interesting things grow.)
This trip, though, is an outlier. Unusually efficient. Just a quick job for Niranye, scouting a merchant’s cart on the road – almost definitely for something shady, but that’s not Torr’s business, and it was too much money too easy to turn down. And then – just earlier today, foraging out in the wilderness as best as Torr (a distinctly urban animal) knows how – they’d come across a giant’s corpse, stiff and white as the snow it lay in. Torr’s no master alchemist but they know the value of a cadaver when it comes to brewing alloys and admixtures, so they set to with their blunt-edged dagger and now they’ve got a sack full of what may as well be gold. (Long as it doesn’t start to rot before they can get Nurelion to preserve it, anyway.)
Torr’s going to be rolling in it when they get back to Windhelm. They could use that money for nearly anything – pay off a few things they borrowed, new warm things now that winter’s coming back strong, bedrolls, waterskins. Endless options – which, strangely, is more exciting than it is burdensome.
It’s all the sort of decision that would ordinarily feel life-or-death urgent but right now feels – not small. Not insignificant, not at all, but distant. A choice to be made at another time, by another person.
(Torr’s whole being belongs to Windhelm’s back streets. They’re someone else, away from it all.)
That’s the other thing about leaving the city, spending time in the discomfiting slow-paced ghost-world outside. It’s quiet. Torr sits surrounded by the wind in the trees, the lazy murmur of the stream, the creak of the water-wheel, and nothing else.
He’s been called a worrywart (mostly by Griss in a strop) but to tell the truth he doesn’t think that’s true. Torr doesn’t fuss for the sake of fussing, he just doesn’t like to leave things undone; can’t stop until he finds a solution. Out here, alone, in the empty cold, there are no solutions to find – same old problems back home, he knows, but no steps he can take at this time to right them. That’s never true while he’s in the city, so he can never stop thinking about it, every choice and action accompanied by a buzzing background chorus of everything else he really should be doing – that really should have been done by now – that should never have been left undone this long, what was he thinking? Everything is urgent when it’s doable. But here and now, there’s nothing to do.
So Torr sits hunched on the board floor of the ramshackle watermill, huddled among their heaps of bags and blankets, and thinks of nothing at all.
Not strictly true. They think of supper – haven’t eaten since an apple this morning, except for some snowberries they found around noon, and it’s been a long day. They nabbed some turnips from the garden of the Kynesgrove inn on their way to the mill. They’re fresh, if nothing else – also covered in dirt, so Torr rises reluctantly from their pile of stuff to crouch on the banks of the stream and dip the vegetables in to clean them off. It aches like hell, the frozen water turning their joints to ice – they almost drop the turnip they’re washing, so they scrub it as best they can with the frigid pad of their thumb and whip their hands out of the water soon as they’re able. They stick their fingers in their mouth to warm them back up.
Even after all that time spent warming up their hands, arraying all their belongings back around themself to conserve body heat, the turnips are still cold enough to hurt Torr’s teeth when he bites in. He eats them anyway, relishing a little in the unearthly silence and the aching of his lips and palms. They taste delicious.
With nothing else to do after, the gnawing of his stomach sated, he wraps himself in his shawl and stares up the hill at the camp’s fire until it goes out. The stars wink into brighter being. The wind whistles through the whip-thin branches of the trees. The water-wheel creaks.
Torr sleeps, but he feels like he hears it all – a silent observer, an echo, a beginning – until morning.
#I considered doing something with post-questline torr for this#but it would have been so fucking sad#and I didn't want to write something that was so fucking sad!#I'll post about torr after the horrors eventually but Not Today.#this was also initially supposed to be an exercise in writing something short that focused more on a distinctive atmosphere#than a scene or character study as most of my pieces are.#oops.#snowballed into an absolute monster of a ramble.#maybe sometime I'll use these prompts to write Actually Short pieces with more of a focus on the worldbuilding aspect...#would be good practice. everything I've written lately has been a thousand words minimum.#I could write about my minor characters or npcs with it too... yeah I think I'll do that at some stage#but. anyway. I quite like this piece as a sort of study#I fucking love writing characters who are having a nice time. with just a hint. just a whisper. of the problems#I enjoyed putting in the reference to the alchemical giant's toes especially because that is an allusion no-one but me understands#to a line in one of my very bad very early pieces on torr#it's not well written but I loved that bit because it's such a wonderful microcosm of the way torr is even before the murder cult thing#Yes he's the busiest most hardworking caretaking boy in the world taking trips into the wilderness (comparatively) to feed his family#and Yes his first instinct on seeing a corpse is to cut it up and sell it for parts#(he's done this to human bodies too but only in extremely specific circumstances. the risk of legal repercussions is too great otherwise)#I'll make a post rambling sometime about torr's ethical system because I'm so obsessed with them and their unhinged point of view#Anyway#done rambling#my writing#fay writes#oc tag#torr#the elder srolls#tes#skyrim#tesblr
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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2023 reads // twitter thread
Star Eater
fantasy world under religious rule by an order of nuns who practice ritualistic cannibalism to gain magic
one young Sister who’s plagued by visions wants to get out, and ends up caught in the complex politics between factions vying for power and the revolution wanting to get rid of them
#star eater#kerstin hall#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#Star Eater#lots of intriguing ideas and interesting worldbuilding!#it just didn’t follow through with them very well imo#in the very beginning it’s like. floating land! they ride giant cats! cool things! and then they’re like…..#well i literally forgot about both those things til they came up again near the end#I also expected it to be way more brutal and gory.#i thought it would be cannibailsm blood zombies everywhere but it’s really. every now and then lol#as well as just narratively…..i thought like. the love interest would die half way through and then the MC would become way more unhinged#i think it maybe chickened out on going more interesting places#the first half is all quite complex politically and then it’s just kinda. chosen one magical solution to fix all that!#which really was just fixing a different thing than the core of the revolution stuff...#also. i know the lines between fantasy and scifi are tenuous at best i've seen people call this sci-fi…..imo it;s not really at all?#the star thing is in reference to their mythology. like you COULD call it scifi but imo nothing about it Isn’t just fantasy#also calling it horror....there's horror MOMENTs but overall idk#anyway i will repeat: there are a lot of things I did like about it! i just think it could have done them More
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I don't know, it's silly, but I really love this story. I fell in love with the details and how everything cohered beyond my expectations, how the little details in worldbuilding made big things click and make sense even though they seemed typical fiction "too much but you have to suspend belief" things at first. And I actually honestly think most of the things some parts of fandom complain about are not only coherent, but some of the best more nuanced aspects of the writing. Everything that I thought and interpreted, even to the most minute details, was confirmed. Even, again, to the most minute details I loved but thought I was being stupid for paying so much attention to, because surely they couldn't mean as much as I thought they did. Yet they did.
#I truly love this story‚ and I've fallen in love with the characters and their dynamics#And it's frustrating that this is a gacha game that I didn't trust at all to begin with#but even less so now that the story is being so loudly criticised because it didn't turn out as people wanted#I already expected things to stop making sense with some time as it always happens with long serialised things made to sell#but I hate that now I fear it will happen sooner‚ that they'll change things that will ruin the continuity or flatten the characters#All because people only read the two things very directly related to what interests them#and with preconditioned views on what they'll interpret#All the while criticising that one has to dig the story through fragments‚ scraps‚ off-hand comments made by the NPCs and so on#And I understand not liking a story told this way‚ but that's the core of this story in particular and why it works#And it's done very well and very cleverly#It's frustrating to see people who have not approached the text as it ought to be criticise the story and characters for what it is not#and for not turning out to be what they thought it would when they didn't even think at all because it was all a bit a hive mind thing#And it's sad in many regards#I don't know. I think it's super neat that everything‚ from Ying.xing being able to craft weapons as well as delicate jade flasks#to Jingli.u moving in a much lighter way than Blade to name two examples‚ makes sense and is justified with the information of the text#in a way that works with and deepens the worldbuilding as well as the characterisation and throws light to what happened in the story#I can't even begin to tell the elation I've felt whenever I saw the little details I loved and gave weight to‚#all the while thinking I was giving them too much weight‚ turned out to have the importance I had given them#and click with everything else perfectly making a way more complex machinery‚ the sound of the gears more beautiful and harmonious#It makes me wish I could drink or kiss this story#I feel I have a string in my chest and the reverberations cause my blood to vibrate and the vibration is the echo of this story#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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I’ve gotten most of the way through totk (i think) and I’m pretty sure at this point the sages are never going to get names/face reveals
like before the game’s release I didn’t want the champions to return because they died a hundred years ago and their spirits are at peace now they don’t need to be brought back for some plot contrivance
but in comparison the sages preform the same narrative role (warriors from the past who fought ganon and are now passing on their powers to help the future generation suceed this time) yet they’re such a downgrade to the champions. Like at this point I’d rather have beloved established characters return then have them replaced with lackluster characters who don’t even have names
#julian plays totk#totk spoilers#this is with the caveat that maybe they do get more personality in the later game and i'm just not there yet#i'm finding mineru now i think that's late game stuff#maybe i will be surprised and the sages will actually be fleshed out#they could have gotten more personality during the temple quests#but no. their explanations cutscenes are bascially the same#like you are supposed to be unique individuals please share your own unique persepctive on these events#this is where the story suffers from being an open world game#the player could go to any one of the regions first so they need to have the same basic info#but it's like. copy paste#honestly just ressurect the champions at this point they are more interesting characters#age of calamity fleshes out the champions and their relationships with the new generation better than totk does with the sages#the sages could have been the first divine beast pilots but there's no mention of the divine beasts anyway#i've said this earlier but even though i like the zonai i don't like that they'll essentially replaced the ancient sheikah#botw introduced interesting worldbuilding. instead of exploring that totk takes a couple things and veers completely somewhere else#sheikah? never heard of them#it's all zonai know#i think i've gotten completely off course i'm done rambling in the tags
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this is kalevi he's a cunty middle aged man who likes horror films
#i've been doing a fair bit of oc art lately#('fair bit' = 'like 3 drawings')#i say this every year but i really do want to draw more next year#like at the very least one drawing done per month#but i'm not really into anything enough to make fan art rn? so i hope you like my ocs#feel free to ask about them if you want the lore <- begging on hands and knees#there's not really a plot or worldbuilding it's just sad gay people having relationship drama#oc tag#kalevi#fart (finn art)
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don't worry guys, my question as to whether barnacles hurt whales was the first suggested auto fill in the search bar, we're going to get answers.
#i just felt so validated that i wasn't the only person concerned about this#cause barnacles are just little guys but sometimes little guys can hurt the big guys they ride around on#(source: lived in heavy tick areas)#so i wanted to check and make sure this wasn't a problem for the whales and based on the like 2 seconds of research i've now done#i do not believe barnacles hurt the whales which is nice#i will potentially do more research on this topic but for now my mind is at ease#and now i can worldbuild about whale-based barnacle societies in peace
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