#i've done enough. i've embarrassed myself enough

[ladyniniane]

Happy birthday to me!

I'm turning 28 today🍁🎉🎂! It's time to celebrate what I have accomplished so far.

Last year, I was in an uncertain situation because I had just decided to leave my job. For those who don't know, the whole ambiance had become pretty toxic (especially with my manager), the organization was a mess and there was no hope of getting a raise after three years there. It was taking a real toll on my well-being.

In retrospect, I'm glad I did it because I chose the best for myself. I saw that I deserved better.

Many things happened this year, some good, some bad, some chaotic. But I've accomplished quite a lot! I've decided to go freelance instead of waiting for someone to hire me. I want to decide how I work, with who and especially where (I'm thinking about living in Corsica in the future).

For that, I completed a whole training course and did things I have never done before...It made me confident in my abilities. I'm going to be completely honest: launching my own business is a little scary, especially as the D day comes closer and my anxiety is like "but what if? What if? What iiiiif?", but working on my project was nonetheless pretty satisfying.

I'm not worried about getting closer to 30. I'm still feeling pretty young (and I mean, I am). And I think like I'm finally figuring things out (because yeah, you generally don't have your life in order by 25). I wouldn't trade the life experience and the lessons I've learned for nothing else in the world. In fact, I'm quite curious about the person I will be when I will turn 30. I know social pressure is real for some people, but the sooner you get rid of those standards, the happier you will be.

Things I've learned this year:

-Enjoy the little nothings and find beauty in the mundane. This will make your life more magical.

-Try new things even if afraid. Time will pass anyway.

-It's okay to quit! In fact, it's even better with toxic situations. Distancing yourself from something that harms you is good actually.

-It's important to focus on your emotions. Bad emotions are here for a reason. Focus on what they tell you and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you're the problem.

-You are enough. You don't have to feel ashamed of everything. You aren't too much, you aren't embarrassing.

-Touch grass as much as possible.

My cat turned 10 (she has seen so many important steps of my life) last month and she's happy and healthy.

Writing-wise, things are going fine. I finished my big fanfic and I've started a novel! And I now need the escapism it provides more than ever.

A big thank you to all of you, people of Tumblr! I'm glad I met you and you make things better☀️!

So, 28, let's see what you have in store for me !

[blkwag]

Yeah you really are overthinking bc I remember having the same thoughts when I first started talking to a guy I liked and when I told him I felt like I was bothering him he told me it was his favorite part of his day 🤧

mayhaps

[piplupod]

i need more sitting-down activities that i can do outside urghghh i want to sew but it's too windy (even just a small breeze is too much) to be working with little pieces of fabric and thread. also sidenote hey guess who learned they've been tying knots in the thread the wrong way their entire life (Kam says we did actually know the correct way to tie a knot years ago but that knowledge didn't get passed to me as a part but I don't know if I believe that fsdjkl). i've been doing some arcane wizard shit with tying the thread after threading the needle and I watched a video a few days ago of someone sewing something and saw the way they looped it around their finger and pulled it through and my brain just about exploded HFDSGJKL

anyways. i usually end up drawing outside but sometimes I simply do not want to draw. same with crochet. but I don't know any other easy sitting-down activities that i can do outside so then i don't get outside as often as I'd like to because I cannot think of anything to do AUGH

[n0heart]

.

[vermillioncrown]

got an extension, t minus 5 days and then another 9 days

conference went aight, bombed my presentation bc i decided to write rather practice, and even tho i accepted that fucking up would be probable it still gets my damn goat

noted that i look back on dbd and think "hmm is the weirdness between the lan bros and zyx unnecessary or realistic?" "am i being too charitable in representing myself?"

rumination on my downward spiral in the hotel room says "realistic" lmao (but also 😔)

[cntloup]

Gojo Satoru x pregnant!reader

protective!Satoru, fluff, a lil angst, mention of feeling guilty, implied heavy symptoms experienced by the reader

"it's ok, baby. i've got it." Satoru says as he approaches your slouched form over the sink, washing the dishes as you try to get something done and make yourself useful.

you've been feeling guilty during the past month or so, feeling like you were a burden to him, thinking that you would never live up to his expectations. now he has to take care of you. and as time goes by, it will get even worse as your pregnancy progresses. but he's a busy man with heavy responsibilities. you'd be only holding him back. you torture yourself with these thoughts every day.

"oh, thanks. i'll go clean up the living room and do the laundry then." you respond with a forced smile, trying to mask the guilt that's been gnawing at you for a while as you try to keep yourself from falling over out of dizziness.

"what? no, wait! i'll do it after i wash the dishes. you go get some rest. you've done enough." he retorts while gently grabbing your arm, voice slightly raised to stop you immediately.

he is in utter disbelief at your behavior. you should be resting right now, tucked in beneath the soft sheets peacefully. you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about anything, he thinks.

"i haven't done anything all day." you utter in a faintly frustrated tone, mostly at yourself.

"and that's exactly how it should be." he replies with a nod, "now go to bed before i drag you there myself." he adds, maintaining a playful tone, a soft smile adorning his features as he drinks in your beauty. you're already glowing. but considering how observant he is, he senses your discomfort immediately like he can actually feel the gloom and sorrow you're feeling right now like a mother hen.

"what is it, baby? tell me." he murmurs as he walks up to you and pulls you into him by your hips, shining blue eyes staring at you as he awaits a response.

his hand rests on your side as the other cups your jaw, his thumb swiping over your cheek that could be dampened any moment now as you feel tears threatening to spill.

"i'm so sorry." you whisper breathily, voice slightly quivering with the lump in your throat as you look up into his glowing eyes.

"for what?" he asks, confusion evident on his features.

"for being weak. i'm so sorry to disappoint you." you finally spill out the words that have been weighing heavily on your chest as the tears cascade down your glossy eyes.

"disappoint me? i don't understand... why are you crying, love?" he mutters with a shake of his head, his confusion growing even more by your words as his fingers swipe over your cheeks to wipe away the stray tears.

"you're literally the strongest and you're stuck with me. i'm barely even showing yet and i'm feeling extreme fatigue. i've been sleeping all day for the past month cause i can't do anything. and because of the symptoms, i'll probably have to quit my job." you ramble about the thoughts that have been pulling you down all this time.

"wait, wait, wait! how long have you been feeling like this?" he questions with widened eyes baring into your soul.

"eversince we found out i was pregnant. i can't stop feeling guilty about disappointing you." you reply quietly, almost embarrassed to admit it. of course you know you're being irrational. it's all natural to be tired during this time and need help, but you just can't help it.

"you've been feeling like this all this time and you didn't tell me anything?" he blurts out almost too aggressively to his liking, "sorry. didn't mean it to come out that way." he quickly apologizes after witnessing the slight flinch on your part.

how could he not see it? you've been trying to do the chores like regular, pushing yourself to your limit both in the house and on your job until he swoops in and takes the weight off your shoulders. now he starts to blame himself for not finding out sooner and letting you wallow in your own sadness and guilt all alone.

"you're not weak, baby. you're doing the one thing that i can't possibly ever do. the one thing that the strongest can't do. and what does that make you? huh? you're literally the strongest of all, babe. i can't even fathom what you're going through and you're doing amazing-", "i'm barely functioning." you cut him off.

"i'm not done yet, babe." he says playfully before continuing, "you're doing amazing, honey. you sleep not because you can't do anything else but because you need it. you're carrying our child for fuck's sake. a literal human's life is growing inside you and of course it takes its toll on you. and i'm right here beside you every step of the way." he finishes his loving speech with a tender kiss on your forehead as his strong arms wrap around your now slightly shaking form as you sob, utterly moved by his words and also the hormones.

"thank you, Satoru. i really appreciate it. you always know what to say when i'm feeling down." your words are cut off by loud sobs but he patiently waits for you to finish as he rubs your back soothingly while nuzzling his face in your neck.

"any time, baby. i love you." he whispers in your ear, "i love you too, toru." you say back, continuing to sob in his arms for a while before you eventually calm down and he guides you to bed, encouraging you to take some much-needed rest.

"and don't worry about your job. you can take some time off or quit altogether. i have more than enough to pay for our family and the next generations to come-", "ok, stop bragging!" you chuckle, "i'm just saying, baby. i've been dying to spoil you. now's my chance. let me take care of you. you don't have to go through this alone. in fact, i won't even let you." he chuckles lightly and crashes his lips onto yours, pulling away with a loud smack as you both lay in bed, limbs tangled together, "you already spoil me." you mention with a slight pout, "and i'm gonna do it even more. you deserve it, baby. don't worry about anything. i've got it." he says while softly caressing your cheek, admiring your glowing beauty illuminated by the faint bedside light.

you slowly start to feel the sleep creeping in and drift away into a slumber as you mumble a quiet 'thank you', curling into Satoru's side as he holds you so lovingly while you think to yourself how you've been blessed with the best, most loving and supportive partner anyone could ever ask for.

[astrxealis]

i'm so angry at myself sometimes for how obviously i would have become an astarion lover

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

my love if i may request a whiskey with dbf!joel or dbf!bucky with the prompt “i’ve wanted this for so long” and mayhaps if it’s not too much to ask for but some breeding kink👀👉🏻👈🏻

Promises, Promises.

warnings - smut. cursing.

I figured I'd make this dbf!bucky, because i've done a dbf!joel fic for this celebration already. y'all, I read the words dad's best friend and go fucking feral. this one got away from me.

3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.

You're the last person Bucky expected to be at his front door at 3am.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Locked myself out of my goddamn house, and my parents are still on vacation. Can I crash here tonight? Please?"

Who is he to turn down an offer that tempting?

"Course. Come on, it's too cold for you to be stood out here."

The two of you sit down on his couch, settling in to watch some TV.

"Bucky Barnes. Are you watching a romcom?"

He blushes, a slight flush creeping up his cheeks.

"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. They're my guilty pleasure."

"It makes me like you more, if anything," you grin. He can't help but smile back at you, less embarrassed now.

"Look, my love life is fuckin' terrible. I live vicariously through these cheesy films right now."

"You? Terrible love life? Those two phrases don't usually go in the same sentence."

You're teasing him. Seeing if you can get a rise, hit the right button.

"Oh, shut it. Just because you're on a new date every week."

"I'm... what?"

"Your Dad seems to think you're dating a lot."

You quirk a brow at him, amusement curling at the corners of your lips.

"Is that so?"

"I'm only telling you what I've heard, honey."

He crosses his arms across his chest, biceps threatening to break free from the confines of his t shirt.

"He's wrong."

"Is that so?"

You roll your eyes.

"I have a friend, he's a guy. My Dad automatically assumes we're dating because we hang out. But we're not."

"And why not?"

"I don't know, I guess he's just..." you debate your answer, realising it's now or never. "He's not old enough for me. Not mature enough."

Bucky bites his lip, eyes scanning your face.

"He's your age."

"Exactly. Boys my age don't know shit."

He laughs, but it's dark and low, something brewing beneath the surface.

"You always were too smart for your own good, huh?"

Bucky's thigh is pressing into yours, the warmth from his skin seeping through. His rough fingertips glide across your arm, slow and soft. He's testing the waters.

"I shouldn't want this," he murmurs, barely audible. "Neither should you."

"But I do," you whisper. "So fucking bad."

"Me too."

Bucky grabs the back of your neck, smashing his lips to yours. You grip at his hair, his biceps, his shirt - anything you can get a hold of. You feel like you're dreaming, your filthiest thoughts coming into fruition.

He pulls you into his lap so you're straddling his hips, grinding down and panting into his mouth. You're both breathless, but neither of you want to be the first to pull away.

Bucky rips your shirt over your head, instantly attacking your chest with kisses. He's marking you up, claiming you as his. You should be worried about the repercussions, but you're not.

You pull his shirt off and rake your nails down his front, grinning when he shivers. Suddenly, Bucky stands up, setting you on your feet.

"Strip."

You blink at him, processing.

"Strip, baby. I won't tell you again."

You shimmy your pants down your legs, your underwear going too. Your mouth waters as you watch him undress, admiring the angles and smooth ridges of him. A Greek God.

Bucky stalks over to you and hooks a foot behind your ankle, sending you both flying onto the rug on the floor. He cushions your fall, not letting go of you once. Running two fingers through your wet heat, he groans.

"All for me, pretty girl? What did I do to deserve somethin' this sweet, huh?"

"Need you," you whine. "Please, Buck."

"I've wanted this for so long," he murmurs, lining himself up. "Fuck, you're a dream."

You both gasp as he slides home, your back arching and his jaw falling slack. Bucky rests a hand against the base of your throat, the weight grounding you back down to Earth.

"Need you to move," you choke out. "Fuck, I need it, Buck. Please."

"Oh you need it, do you?" he smirks. "My needy girl."

He snaps his hips into yours in long, careful glides, very aware of the effect he has on you. Before long, his restraint snaps, and his thrusts get harder, quicker, more frantic.

"Gonna fill you up, baby," he's muttering under his breath. "Make you mine. You want that? To have everyone know who you belong to?"

You're nodding rapidly, tears gathering in your eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

"How are we gonna keep this a secret if you're pregnant, huh?"

The thought makes you moan, a breathy, gutteral sound.

"You like that? Want me to make you a mommy? Fuck, I'll give you everything you ask for. I'll buy you a house and knock you up, you'll never want for anything."

His low, honeyed words throw you over the edge, squeezing and clenching around him. Bucky groans, deep and rumbled, the sound vibrating through the both of you. You find your releases together, panting and out of breath.

"House first."

"Huh?" he breathes, raising his head from your chest.

"Buy me a house first. Kids second. Maybe marriage in between."

He laughs, floating and content. You both know he meant what he said, not just a heat of the moment confession.

You stay wrapped up in each other for hours, on the rug in front of the fire.

You'll deal with the repercussions later.

[nanaslutt]

Just a funny thought that since Choso can control his blood or whatever, what if he can control his boners…😭

-🩻

I've been inspired ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

ʚ cont: fem reader, kinda sub choso, oral(m!r), edging, dirty talk, teasing, body worship(?)

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"Do you really have to look at me like this? It's so embarrassing." Choso complained, holding his t-shirt over his crotch as he averted his eyes. You kicked your legs behind your body as you laid on your stomach on top of your bed, Choso standing in front of you. "Well I wanna get a good view of it don't I?" You teased, reaching out your hand and caressing his upper thigh, just under where his hands were blocking.

"Don't…" Choso whispered, feeling his face heat up at the sudden attention. "If it goes up just make the blood go somewhere else." You teased, laying your head down on your arm, your eyes staying locked on Choso's large hands that blocked his crotch. "It's hard to do that," Choso whined, gripping your wrist and pushing it back toward your body.

You retracted your arm, crossing it under your head with the other one as you laid on them. "How so?" You asked, your eyes finding his. Choso's gulp was almost audible. Your eyes looked so pretty and wide when you looked up at him from this angle. "I want to be aroused when you touch me like that… so forcing the blood away is kinda like edging myself," Choso explained, making a small smile creep onto your face.

"You're so cute Choso." You praised, watching how your words made his cheeks turn pink. "Fine, I won't touch you anymore, I'll just watch." You said, smiling up at him. Choso averted his eyes when he couldn't take your sultry stare anymore, his eyes dropping to his hands over his crotch. "You've obviously done this before, so how did you find out you could do it?" You asked, watching as Choso let his t-shirt drop to the floor as he began slowly working on his belt.

Choso's blush grew deeper at your question as he pulled the belt out from the loops in his pants. "Sometimes I'll wake up and my…" Choso cleared his throat, his eyes darting around the room, "It'll also be up… down there. It's easier to just force it down like that rather than touching myself." He explained, sliding his pants down his thighs. You listened to his words carefully as he slid his pants off his legs, his porcelain skin getting revealed to your eyes.

"Next time it's like that when you wake up just wake me up Cho, I'll take care of it." You said, slightly teasing him but you were serious with your words. Choso's eyes found yours as he stared at you pointedly, almost pouting. "Sorry sorry," You laughed, forgetting Choso was already having enough time keeping his boner down as is.

Choso hesitated before pulling down his pants, his thumbs just resting under the band of his boxers. "What's wrong? Did ur' hands stop working? Need some help?" You offered, picking your head up and resting it in your hands, elbows perched on the bed. "You've… never seen my dick soft before," Choso said, his face scrunching a bit in embarrassment as he tried to cover his crotch with his fingers while keeping his thumbs under his boxers.

You smiled before finding his eyes, waiting till he looked at you before you spoke. "I have. When you were really sick and I had to bathe you remember? I saw it then and it was perfect." You said, reassuring him. Choso looked like he wanted to say something in response, but he just pressed his lips together in a pout and looked down at himself, at the bulge in his boxers from his soft cock.

You don't know why Choso was so nervous, his cock was huge even when it was soft. He took a deep breath before sliding his boxers down, the short black hairs on his pelvis being revealed slowly, making you subtly press your thighs together. Your mouth started watering when the base of Choso's dick was revealed, he was moving too slowly for your liking, but he was extremely nervous so you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Once Choso had completely stepped out of his boxers, he stood in front of you awkwardly, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. "Choso." You said softly, raking your eyes down the expanse of his body before they landed on his face. "Come closer, don't have to be so nervous baby." You teased, taking his soft thigh back in your hand again once his feet met the edge of the bed, his cock now level with your face and very close to it.

Choso caressed the side of your face, the once teasing touch on his thigh now welcoming and comforting. You leaned into his touch and kept your eyes on his, wanting him to calm down a bit before you gave any instruction. Once Choso's heartbeat had slowed, and his breathing was steady, you looked down at his cock, noticing how it twitched softly every so often, most likely from Choso trying to keep his boner down.

You smiled nice and big for him when you were ready, finding his eyes for a moment before looking back down, focusing on his cock. "Ok, lemme see it." You said. Choso released a shaky breath as he shook his head. Goosebumps ran down his back as you caressed his inner thighs, your soft, cool hands feeling calming against his burning skin. Your mouth fell open in a small O as Choso let the blood slowly flood back to his cock.

His dick was at full hardness in under ten seconds. It rested only inches from your face, twitching strongly as you oggled it. Choso watched you watch him grow hard, fighting the urge to not cover his face in embarrassment as his face flushed furiously, feeling like heat was radiating from it. Choso's hand shook against your cheek, his whole body vibrating with nervousness.

You looked back up at him sweetly, smiling as innocently as possible. Choso looked like he was holding back, but he also looked very vulnerable, making your heart swell tenfold. Maintaining eye contact with him, you leaned forward and stuck out your tongue, finding his cock with the hot appendage using your peripherals. Choso's jaw fell open as he sucked in a shaky breath when your tongue met with his hot cock, his eyes staying locked on yours as they fluttered in his head.

You giggled almost inaudibly before you wrapped your lips around his cock and licked your tongue around his soft tip, the taste of his pre-cum immediately flooding your tastebuds as he dripped into your mouth. Choso gasped quietly as you bobbed your head slowly down on his cock, taking it deeper and deeper, little bit by little bit. His eyes fluttered when you moaned around him, the sound vibrating around his cock.

You focused on sucking air in through your nose when your lips hit the base of his cock, his dick snugly in your throat. Choso weakly kept his hand on the top of your head, his body shaking as he took in how warm and tight your throat felt. Choso finally broke eye contact when you swallowed around him, your throat contracting around his cock.

His head tipped back as his jaw fell open in a groan, his eyes falling shut. You giggled around him as you bobbed your mouth on his cock hands-free a few more times, taking him into your throat each time, making his hand curl against your head, his nails raking over your scalp softly. You hummed around his base for a moment, leaving his hard cock snug in your throat for as long as you could before you needed air before you pulled back entirely, a string of saliva connecting you to the tip of his cock.

Choso's head tipped back down to look at you, your lips swollen and wet from just throating his dick. You looked up at him with a dopey smile, one full of mischievous. Choso kept his hand on your head as he waited for you to continue, only you didn't, speaking instead, "Make it go back down now." Choso swore his heart shattered in that moment as he tried to make sense of your words in his pleasure-riddled brain. "Huh?" He asked softly, his eyes half-lidded with lust.

"Your cock, make it go soft again." You instructed, nodding your head at him. Choso bit his lip between his teeth as he fought with himself internally. He didn't want to do that, at all actually, but the thought of saying no to you sounded just as bad. With a small sigh, Choso looked away and let the blood run back into his body, away from his cock.

His dick softened in front of your eyes, slower than it had gotten hard the first time. When he was fully soft, he looked back down at you, gauging your reaction. "Good boy." You praised, looking back up at him through your lashes. Leaning forward you pressed your still wet lips against his soft cock, the skin feeling much softer than before. "Thank you Choso, that's all. You can put your clothes back on now." You instructed, smiling at him innocently.

You watched the gears try to turn in Choso's head as you sat up and grabbed his face, pecking him on the lips before you slid off the bed and reached down to pick up his clothes, pressing them against his chest once you gathered them. "I'll give you some privacy to change." You said. Standing on your tiptoes you pressed a kiss to his hot cheeks before walking past him and out the door, shutting it quietly behind you.

Choso stayed still and unmoving in your bedroom for a good minute or so as he waited for his brain to catch up with what had just happened. With a sigh and a pout he started putting his clothes back on, he knew you would never leave him unsatisfied like this, he figured you had something bigger planned, a reward maybe, if he listened. So Choso did just that, keeping his boner down as he clothed himself before leaving the room to join you in the living area.

[passiveagreeable]

just now remembering this. like full stop i don't think i've thought anything of this experience since a few days after it happened.

but more than a year ago. i was taking a bus from malaga to granada and one of the station employees came up to me (i was the last person in line to board the bus at this moment) and ask me if i could help out this gentleman (the station man's words precisely, he called him caballero) he was leading with him. and it was immediately evident that this guy was visually impaired or blind.

and well. i was like 'yeah of course' because yeah of course.

and i did, sort of. but i wasn't sure like, how far was too far. with helping. so i only helped minimally. and also i didn't immediately fess up that i didn't speak spanish natively, in fact i don't think i mentioned it at all. (maybe i said i was a student? i can't recall). which i should have said immediately so that he understood that if i said something wrong or weird, it wasn't me getting impatient with him or exasperated over assisting but simply low confidence in my imperfect linguistic grasp (and just overall low confidence, generally, extensively, but nevertheless). or so that i could have asked somebody else to help if he didn't feel comfortable with me and my incompetent ass, which would have been totally fair. i probably should have said that from the get go, really, but it felt like it might have come off as me trying to brush off the task and trying to make excuses to get out of it. yeeeeah, so the two of us basically stood there in silence except when i had to give verbal directions for like "walk forward" "stop" "there's stairs" etc. which were overall pretty stilted, i think.

also, he got off the bus just fine but then i wasn't sure if he wanted help from there, so i let him alone. i'm sure he could have gotten out of the building without issue eventually, but it was taking him a bit of time with the layout, to find the door from the bus stall, whatnot, and everyone was giving him weird looks. which really just rubbed me the wrong way, so after maybe 15 or 30 seconds, i did go up to him and offer to assist him again. so i got him to the taxi area and into a taxi, if i'm remembering the events correctly.

simultaneously a nice experience and a super humiliating one. because like i am literally so👏 dumb👏 and i think way too much but i thought if i said something about not speaking spanish super fluently that i would get in trouble or something. so instead i probably made him feel terrible and was like suuuuuper awkward about helping him. like bitch, if you don't know, just ask what he wants you to do to help, holy fuck.

now i know better, but i would go back and slap myself right in the face if i had the chance.

[southernreaches]

i need help with vet bills (again).

hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.

this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.

jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.

she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.

here's a link to my paypal.me

the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon

i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.

please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.

thank you for reading.

[foldingfittedsheets]

So I’m a little embarrassed to admit that when I thought my Switch was broken, my issue with force restarting it was that I mistook the home button for the power button. The advice people gave me should have worked.

When I realized today that the core should have its own button I was able to restart it and everything was fine.

To celebrate, please enjoy a non exhaustive list of other silly shit I’ve done:

When I first started driving a manual transmission car I learned how to drive stick from a single wretched session with my dad where he forced me to start on a hill with my emergency break before I had basic shifting down (I ended up starting the car in third gear on an incline which is an achievement that no one should ever do), and one drive in a parking lot with my buddy Dustin.

Consequently I believed that I must always keep my foot on the clutch when the car wasn’t in gear because no one thought to tell me that neutral counted as a gear.

I drove like that for years, clutch pressed in at every red light. The only reason I ever learned better was my clunker needed a jump and after my coworker had his car hooked up to mine he invited me to stand with him while we waited.

I very hesitantly lifted my foot off the clutch and when it didn’t stall I felt so goddamn silly. Years. I hadn't realized for years that I could be in neutral without the clutch down for years.

More recently I’ve been listening to podcasts in my car. I thought that if I hit the next track button it would skip to the whole next episode and dutifully sat through all the ads.

Then one day I was turning and hit the skip ahead button and realized it only did 30 seconds, not a whole episode. I immediately felt so silly and ridiculous for not realizing sooner that I could fast forward the ads without missing the whole episode.

Finally, the silliest way I've ever injured myself was so stupid that everyone immediately assumed I was lying. I was crawling down the bed toward my beloved in a negative sexual way. Cannot stress enough, there was nothing sexy in this scenario. I'm pretty sure I was pretending to be a cat screaming about licking my own anus. I went to plant my hand on the footboard, I overshot and went somersaulting off the bed, landing flat on my back.

The next day I tried to go into work while moving like a possessed puppet, hunkered over and slinking along trying not to move any muscles because everything was a fiery pit of pain. The managers saw this and called me into the office. "What the hell happened to you? Can you actually work today?"

I opened my mouth to answer and my favorite assistant manager instantly interjected, "And don't lie!"

I stopped and realized that saying I could still work was in fact a lie and got sent home to recuperate. My coworkers were all completely convinced when they heard the story that I'd been up to the freakiest sex shit imaginable and not a single one believed I fell off my bed pretending to be a deranged cat.

[deerskullsystem]

Hm.

[yeslordmyking]

Just woke up and prayed for God to get Jackson to Heaven for like an hour. Am I ever going to stop obsessing over things and people that will never have anything to do with my life? 🙄

[noxtivagus]

i feel a lot better again now hehe

[barcaatthemoon]

Can you do Alexia for “It’s… different. With them, I spent most of my time longing for something that wasn’t even accessible. With you, I simply feel alive.”

I love your little blurbs❤️ They’re how I reward myself for completing tasks at work!

thank you, i've honestly had a lot of fun writing them. it's nice to have something small to get the fic momentum going.

different || alexia putellas x reader ||

it was the simplest things that always caused your feelings to hit you like a truck. alexia hadn't so much as looked your way once she had started to kick the ball around with the children. you knew how important it was for her to bring something worthy back to her hometown. she wanted to make things better and help in every way she could think to.

"i don't think i have ever been so proud of her," eli said, breaking your focus on alexia. you nodded in agreement. this meant the world to alexia. "i know that you do not feel like it, but i am proud of you too. you helped her more than you know, mija."

you had never been good at taking praise, and now was no different. your cheeks heated up with a mix of embarrassment and shame. truthfully, you didn't feel like you had done anything for alexia. this was all her, you had just been her girlfriend for the most part.

"gracias eli." you bowed your head towards alexia's mother.

"i mean it, talk to her. have the big conversations that you are afraid of, nothing bad can come of it. your love is special." it was hard, but you did take eli's advice that night. alexia had brought you back to her childhood home for the night, even if her bed was far too cramped for the two of you to get comfortable.

"you did good today, ale. everybody is so proud of you for this, it's going to be amazing," you told her. alexia smiled as she turned just enough to stare at you in the light coming from her tv. "i wish that i could do something special to help people. sometimes i feel like nothing. i mean, you've had a pretty impressive string of girlfriends."

"you are nothing like any of them, you're different."

"ale, that's not exactly comforting," you chuckled. you knew that alexia didn't mean it like that, so you couldn't help tease her.

"it's... different. with them, i spent most of my time longing for something that wasn't accessible. i didn't know what it was until you came alone. with you, i simply feel alive. all of this, i did it because i felt like i could with you supporting me. don't ever feel like nothing because to me, you are everything mi amor." alexia cupped your cheeks and leaned in to kiss your forehead. you scrunched your face up a bit, only to relax it again after alexia gave you a proper kiss. "now, let's get some rest. i promised the girls i would come to the park bright and early for a pick up game."