#i've cracked the fucking code i've figured it out

[talentforlying]

me wobbling constantine llike laminated paper: ooooo you are so starved for approval and too proud to ever voice it and too afraid you'll never get it so you throw yourself full-body at the worst problems humanity and hell can conjure up and make yourself look at the things that you know will haunt you because you think if you manage to win on a dramatic enough scale then maybe you'll at least earn some approval after you're dead, oooooo

[stationintern]

Hello my friends! I am late, but we won't mention it. April was a very busy month, but I managed to read way more than I've been able to the last few months, so I have a good selection for you. There's a couple rereads, a couple fics I put off reading for far too long, and a few that I found at the perfect time and devoured on sight.

Let's go!

Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites for H/D Bodice Ripper Fest 2022 M, 14.8k

Every single one of Harry’s exes has gone on to marry the next person they date, and with the upcoming nuptials of numbers six and seven to each other, Harry’s feeling exhausted by it all. It doesn’t really matter if he lets people assume Draco Malfoy is his boyfriend for a moment of peace. In any case, Draco’s been away for five years and there’s no way he would find out, right?

I read this fic about a year ago, and I am so glad that I chose to revisit it this month. It is just so, so good. Endlessly hilarious, with a solid plot that is resolved neatly in 14 thousand words. I really love Harry here. His letters are so adorable. This aspect comes in later in this list as well, but I love when Draco is kind of a mysterious figure for a good chunk of a fic. The wondering, the anticipation. What kind of Draco will we meet this time? It's all very delicious.

Seeker's High by @corvuscrowned M, 40k

Harry Potter doesn’t expect to take up running years after the war ends; it just sort of happens. He also doesn’t expect that — as he fights tooth and nail to climb out of a post-war depression he didn’t realize he’d fallen into — he’ll end up running right into the arms of Draco Malfoy. A half angsty drama, half romcom of Harry working on himself, learning how to accept help from his friends, and falling in love with his childhood nemesis.

Another reread. This is one of those fics I've found myself periodically thinking about, mostly because it just feels so right. Harry's characterization in this is fascinating, and I really enjoyed watching his slow evolution as his relationships grow, both with running and with Draco. A unique premise that I really enjoyed and know I will revisit again.

Turn by Saras_Girl E, 306k

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Okay, so, I'm not even gonna say anything. I put off reading this for way too long, and not knowing a single thing about this fic was probably the reason I devoured every chapter the way I did. Just know I was clawing at the walls.

Rookie Moves by peu_a_peu E, 75.3k

Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.

Oh my fucking god. I have never in my life laughed out loud this many times while reading a fic. Truly, two dumb, horny assholes just trying to crack the case. But, behind all the side-splitting humor (and searingly hot sex) is a deep understanding of both characters that shines through and makes every moment hit so much harder. As in, they would fucking say that. Every single follow-up in the series is a banger, too. Thanks to @tackytigerfic for pointing those out to me!

Make This Leap by @oflights M, 118k

Harry owns a struggling restaurant which is running out of money, and his Head Chef has just handed in notice. He's at a bit of a loss as to what to do until Narcissa Malfoy presents an obvious solution: bring in Draco Malfoy as Chef and part owner. Harry does.

I relived four years of my life reading this fic. Both the good and the bad. Truly, a wonderful portrayal of the epic highs and lows of restaurant work. From personal drama to work-related catastrophes, this fic has it all. Like I said before, I love having to wait a bit to see Draco. I love hearing about him through the grapevine. I had so much fun reading this, and it was a treat to see these characters in an environment that I hadn't really envisioned them in before. Lovable (and punchable) side characters, a very stressed out Harry Potter, and a solid amount of health code infractions. Amazing.

See you at the end of May! xx, Moon.

[secriden]

an introduction to daouoffroad: a record (mostly for me)

so, the lovely @luthienmpl was very kind and gave me a daouoffroad starter pack so i'm gonna learn about them!

i adore finding out about something this way because it's like someone shared their love of The Thing with me! how lovely! how lucky to catch a glimpse of how much joy The Thing gives someone else!!

this is literally just random stream of consciousness thoughts as i watch the videos so i'll spare anyone who isn't interested and put it under a cut.

oh my god they met as contestants on a survival boyband show wtf!? what kind of fanfic kdrama au start is this already!?

ok damn but daou's runs tho :O <3

nooooooo offroad is crying and thanking daou for his support how dARE YOU TOY WITH MY HEART LIKE THIS!? ;A;

ohmygosh is that the actress who plays P'Joy in LITA??? <3

fuck, the pressing the face into the tummy of the one standing thing. why is that so cute. ugh D:<

waitwaitWAIT is that a thing? do directors just... write stories/shows for couples who have good chemistry whatttt?? is this like a thai ent industry staple? (oh i guess mame kind of did that with fortpeat/mutrak) that's so funny omg. xDDD

laz1 is so kpop styled :O and i must add Last Kiss to my playlist imMEDIATELY its such a pretty song?? <3333

thiS BRIDGE i AM FEELING IT!?!?! DAOU WHAT IS THAT RIFF!?!??! HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SUCH A SMOOTH TRANSITION UP TO THE HIGH NOTE!? *O* <3

(was daou already an established singer before or something?? boy has pIPES!)

*faintly* d-did he try to... bite... the cat's... paw??

/SCREAMS nO THE HARMONIES yeah ok i'm a fan weLP THA TWAS QUICK

(i'm such a sucker for vocal line groups ugh dammit TwT)

wait, enlistment?? huh i did not know thailand also did that... is it the same as skorea?

oh-- oh my god he sent flowers? through his sister?? *whispers* that's so sweet ;u;

goodness, offroad literally running and jumping into daou's arms while daou is still in military fatigues-- guys this is either zero attempt at being subtle or the best cp marketing i've seen in my life wow

awww did offroad bring his graduation gown to the event just so he could get pics with daou?? that's so cute! ;A;

okAY SIR?? SIR NO the sleeping right pressed up to offroad as he pretends to snore but like daou is just paSSED OUT HALF ON TOP OF HIm NO SIR NO I CANNOT HANDLE THIS NOPE BYE

(the cut right as daou reaches up to shut offroad up had me cracking up tho, they've got a wicked sense of humour i really like them)

ahahahah the members playing along is really cute!! poor daou has to be relegated to the "jealous bf" -- this is SO interesting to watch coming out of old kpop fandom and kpop skinship to this xD like... i am enLIGHTEND *O*

*cries* what is this... poolside actual love confession proposal with rings and pLANNING to commemorate their.. working.. relationship!?!? i'm??? they are so LOUD wtf-- i'm not... used to this... !?! *incoherent noises*

sidebar: i'm struggling to get a handle on their honorifics... are they phi/nong? but sometimes dauo sounds like he's using mueng/guu when he addresses offroad directly?

ljsdfjsLfj THE FACE. IN THE TUMMY. ITS BACK <3

OH FUCK OFFROAD WITH THE ASH HAIR. *O* YEAH YEAH OKOKOK i'M NORMAL ABOUT THIS!!!!

oh oh NO did daou just push offroad to the inside of the road so he's on the outside like that's--t hat's so boyfriend coded wtf

bahahaHAHAH is offroad going on about the bracelet because now daou *has* to buy one for him? xD what a smart cookie. xDDD

wAIT DID IT WORK!? PAHAHA--

other thoughts:

pentor looks SO FAMILIAR and i can't figure out why??? ;A; is he in something else?? i'm so confused but i think i love him already WHAT AN ADORABLE DIMPLED BOI *O*

i know you included the Whats The Matter? MV but I'm sorry I'm going to live in Last Kiss for like the next 5 days especially thAT BRIDGE WTF <3

the acoustic/live version is so PRETTY omg ;A; that 3 part harmony in the first chorus *chefs kiss*

sOMEONE is doing like a really high harmony in the pre-chorus and its so thin and wispy and pRETTY ahhh <3

although also ngl i think daou needs maybe some more vocal training he sounds quite strained sometimes... and he's got a lot of tension in his throat but good GOD his range!! he's SO talented wtf; ALSO their youngest member has SUCH a nice tone UGH <33333

their 2 shows:

ok love in translation actually sounds like exactly my cup of tea hahahah it looks so cute <3 and potentially heartbreaking but like not TOO heartbreaking

century of love... yeah ok i'm gonna put that on my list of things to get to when i'm in the right headspace for that kind of angst but what an interesting concept!! its like comphet, the series. xD

wait both their shows are comphet the series? xDDDD they just swapped who was suffering from it.

hoboy they are SO LOUD already from the beginning wtf

(sidenote but I would KILL for fortpeat to go on something like this cAN YOU IMAGINE the sHINANIGANS!! peat being so happy at all the food. fort's teasing. ugh. where can i start a petition ya'll)

the heIGHT DIFFERENCE am i'm feeling some type of way about it, yes yes i am

bAHAHAH the mandatory piggyback ride that they actually just SAY is boyfriend material i'm-- i'm not use do this lack of wink wink nudge nudge skinship approach in my boyband duos like?? *confused noises pt 2*

oh oh my gosh they have auntie fans too??? how adorableeeee!!!?! damn offroad sounds so soft in southern dialect idk whats going on my ears are blessed *u* <3

I don't know why but daou's "Try traditional snack!" made me crack up xDDDD

i have just realised what a mistake it was to start this on an empty stomach T___T that all looks SO GOOD wtf

lol that poor lady with the corgi's just wanted to go on her way and she got way-landed by these insane boys xDD

wft the nUZZING INTO THE NECK THING. IT S STILL. SO MUCH. IHAVE FEELIGNS ABOUT THIS MOMENT Tu T <3

guYS-- GUYS you said you both paid half... so you don't... you don't still need to do the cheek kisse-- oh nevermind you did them already ok then

i mean ok but for real tho the amount of times offroad just cracks up at somethign random daou does is genuinely really sweet?? like they seem to really have this wavelength that is just their own *u*

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c33. Liquid dinner.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END, LOVE YOU!!

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, EDs and death.

song to listen to when reading this: Like it tends to do, Lizzy McAlpine

abstract: This is a very sad chapter honestly. Close to the end also, don't get your hopes up cause I'm telling you, it's not ending well. I should know, I'm from the literal future. So yeah, messed up things. Jude's a liar man, I've always told ya. She might seem all confident, smart, sexy, funny… whatever...

'I fucking hate you so much'.

She spun in her chair, covering her face with her hands, while Honey giggled from his seat. It was three in the afternoon, the day after her chat with Simon. She was at the listening post, they had lunch together, her, Roman and Honey after working at the code all morning. She had to reveal she had a look at it the night before, they argued for the first ten minutes asking why she got to see it before the others. 'It's because I'm privileged, let it go.' She admitted, a small smirk on her lips. 'No seriously, why didn't we know you had it, how did you get it?' Honey asked. She bit her lip, thinking of what to say to make the matter sound somewhat legal. 'You know the guy with the mask?' She said.

'Yes, unfortunately I have seen him.' Honey.

'Scary dude, what about him?' Roman.

She crossed her arms in front of her. She was wearing a comfy sweater under her very elegant blazer jacket. 'He gave it to me yesterday.' She explained. 'We worked together before, we're friends.' She said. All true, no? They're friends.

Honey mumbled something under his breath. 'That's not fair!' argued Roman, he went on some more saying how unfair it was she could see evidence before them just because she was friends with that scary soldier. They resumed their tasks, trying their best at cracking the code. It took longer than anticipated. They removed all the letters from the paper and examined the back, what would have been at the back of the newspaper page. They moved them around in the large table that once was Roman's desk, trying to make out a message. After lunch, she felt tired, she wanted and deserved a nap. Her contact lenses burned her eyes, plastic wrappers and boxes of Chinese takeout were scattered all over the place. Roman was yawning from his side of the room. That was when Honey figured it out. 'I fucking hate you so much'.

She spun in her chair, covering her face with her hands, while Honey giggled from his seat. She approached his desk. 'I found it I think', he said. 'I divided the letters in diagonal like this…' He drew a line with his finger and parted two sections of the original code. 'And I switched them…' She helped him move the letters, until she started to see it too. Words were starting to form. They found a pattern in the setting of the letters, which resembled the choice of cutting capital letters and lowercase letters. They found some of the words were already in English, some needed translation. They were written in English letters, but were Serbian words. 'Novo…' she mumbled while setting the four letters aside. It meant 'New'. It was Roman who was sent to call Price this time. He ran through the corridors of the base, saying sorry to every person he bumped into while trying to get to Price's office.

Unfortunately for him, he found Ghost first. 'Oi!' He called out, making Roman stop in his tracks and turn around. 'You in a rush?' He asked, taking a few steps in his direction. The young linguist looked up at Ghost, his eyes piercing through his soul through the skull plate mask. He mumbled something about the listening post, which clearly interested Ghost in the conversation. Listening post meant Alba. 'We need Price, we figured it out. The code, you know...' He was able to breathe out while regaining his composure. 'She with you?' The other man asked, before starting to walk towards Price's office. 'What…' Roman struggled to follow Ghost's fast walking pace, 'Oh Jude? Yeah, why?' He was given no answer. They both urged Price to follow them and, once in the listening post room, they found Honey and Alba at the desk, hunched over looking at the characters scattered around.

'It makes total fucking sense!' Alba shouted at the door, before awkwardly covering her mouth with her hands, realising Price and Simon were there. Roman let out a loud laugh, joining his two colleagues, even Honey seemed happy and joyful more than Simon ever saw him. He watched Alba smile at her friends, moving one more letter on the table, writing the message on paper. 'S… T, E and R…' Honey whispered. Once they were done, Price and Ghost were allowed to look at it and read it. Alba's eyes encountered Ghost's. Just for a second. She was happy, she was proud. She was gorgeous, he liked how the blazer jacket fell gently on her hips, he liked the strands of hair that were covering the sides of her cheeks, rosy cheeks. He liked the fuzzy sweater she was wearing, a warm beige sweater. He could touch it, feeling the softness.

The message made, indeed, total fucking sense. It said Novo Groblje, which meant new cemetery, it said 'twenty one, one, two two three', which they supposed meant 21st of January of that year. Novo Groblje was a cemetery complex in Belgrade. She stood by the table while Price and Simon examined their work. She patiently waited for them to read the message and ensure they were satisfied with what they saw. It was Simon's look that gave it away. His eyes, his gaze immediately rose to meet hers, he looked at her with dilated pupils, his kind, chocolate brown eyes. He was amused. Price told them they did a good job and to keep up with the listening post for a few more days, just in case they needed any more information about the trafficking, but other than that, they were done.

She went out that night. She put on a dress for the first time in ages. There weren't many bars open too late, Honey suggested drinks to celebrate, Roman said yes, Gaz overheard and took it as the best opportunity to ask her to go out with them. She said yes, she went home and went on a run with Jinx. She was so happy she could't even manage to sit still. She was ecstatic, she had a drink before going out, she had gin hidden somewhere in her kitchen. She wore a dress, just below the knee, it was cold out. It was tight around the waist but fell gently on her hips. Black lace adorned her ribcage, a pattern that looked like flowers on the skin of her breasts. She curled her hair, she put on earrings that looked like pearly rain drops. She wore heels, and got a cab, she didn't want to drive. She intentionally arrived twenty minutes late, she found Roman and Honey at a table in the corner, they were drinking beer. Kyle and Soap were at the counter speaking to a man she didn't know. Kyle whistled when he saw her walking in. 'Look who finally decided to stop working…' He gave her a quick side hug, which she reciprocated, then said hi to Soap. 'What are you drinking?' She let Kyle buy her a beer, she didn't bother choosing, whatever he was having was fine. She noticed his eyes travelling on her figure as she leaned on the counter, she allowed it. They sat for an hour at the table with her two other colleagues, she dragged the soldiers towards Honey and Roman so they could be all together. The conversation was simple and easy, anecdotes and funny stories. She was hiding a yawn with her hand and debating on going home when Johnny gasped. 'Look who showed up…' He whispered, causing her to turn around in the booth, looking towards the entrance of the bar. At eleven in the evening on a Saturday, Simon Riley made his way inside the bar, a crowded bar even. Black mask, leather jacket and, something she had never seen before on him, sneakers. He looked in their direction, a nod of the head to signal that he saw them. He approached the counter to order a drink. Alba got up a minute after, trying not to make it seem too obvious. She said she was gonna get another beer, she asked the boys to watch her purse.

Her heart started beating at a much quicker pace upon seeing him. Did the others invite him, was he there by himself? Maybe he didn't want to be bothered. Was he there to see his friends? She approached him, walked behind him and stood at his right. He turned towards her, his eyes not even reaching her face, slowly making their way up from her naked calves to her chest. 'I wasn't expecting you to come', she crossed her arms in front of her chest, forcing him to look her in the eyes. 'I can leave if you don't want me here.' He replied, to that she smiled. 'Can I buy you a drink?' She offered, making his heart skip a beat. 'To thank you for stealing classified evidence for me.' She said. He allowed himself to stare at her for a few more seconds before replying. Her hair was wavy, falling gently on her shoulders, her makeup shiny on her eyelids. She had some kind of eyeliner on that made the emerald green colour of her pupils stand out. Her cheeks were warm from the alcohol. 'How many have you had?' He asked. He realised he was flirting without even trying, he felt like he was giving in this kind of sin. She was the sin. He felt like the setting, the bar, the fact they were surrounded by strangers, dressed differently from their day to day… It made him feel like he could speak to her that way. 'Just one!' She sat on the stool behind her, reaching his eye level. 'Do I look drunk?' He smiled and shook his head. While he ordered their drinks, she gave their friend's table a look, finding Soap and Kyle staring. 'You guys celebrating?' She concentrated back on Simon. 'I told you Honey would figure it out.' She replied. He didn't have a balaclava on, he had a black surgical mask and the hat she gifted him for Christmas. He partly took off the mask, letting it hang on his right ear, so that his uncovered side faced the wall. She watched him take a sip of his drink.

'They know you're Alba' He said. She nearly choked on her beer.

'I told them you're Alba… by accident.' He corrected himself, like he needed to get that off his chest. She went pale under the lights of the bar.

'What…'

'I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I let it slip. Johnny and Gaz...' He looked at her, suddenly apologetic, like a lost puppy. She swallowed a lump in her throat, her blood rushing to her ears. What a way to ruin the night. 'It's fine.' She managed to mumble.

She was still recovering from that information when he spoke again. 'How are… hum.. how are rehearsals going?' He tried to change the subject to make her forget about his terrible revelation. She looked at him appalled, her eyes wide. 'Uhm… good.' She replied awkwardly. He was terrified his attempt to change the subject didn't work. His expression made her giggle, that awful silence between them made her facade crumble. 'Sorry, I'm gonna have to stop speaking to you, you're terrible at keeping secrets', she commented. He seemed to relax, his shoulders less tense. He was really afraid he'd upset her for a moment.

'That's not true…'

'Ah, you told everyone my one secret...' She was smiling at this point, dimples forming in her cheeks. Her left canine teeth was chipped. He drank some more. 'So… rehearsals?' He asked again. Her chest tightened, he really wanted to know? 'It's been hard, there's this one lift which is pretty intense with my dance partner', she fidgeted with a napkin on the wooden counter… 'But the hard part is Snow Queen really, there are 16 fuettés at the end of my first entrance which I can't seem to get right, cause I jump a lot during that part and I get tired, I don't think my left foot is strong enough for those many turns, you know, 16 fuettés is kind of a lot…' she rambled, maybe talking more to herself than to him at this point. But he was there, and you best believe he was listening. 'And then I can kinda relax in the second entrance, but still I got very embarrassed the other day cause I could only get five or six before getting dizzy…' she seemed to suddenly realise he was there. She covered her mouth with her hand, almost self conscious she might have said too much.

'What is a fuetté….' asked Simon.

She smiled, she giggled. 'Sorry… it's a turn on pointe, you turn and then you open your leg to spin again, and again…'

'16 times?'

'16 times, yes.'

'Sounds like a lot. Can't you do less?'

Her smile grew bigger, she felt giddy talking about her dance routine with him. 'That's the choreography…' He nodded. 'Are you getting deployed to Serbia?' She asked, her tone soft, he almost didn't ear her over the music and the noise of chatter in the bar. He shook his head. He explained they had soldiers there already and him and his task force were getting ready for another mission, they were going to get briefed the day after. 'Maybe they'll call you for this one as well… help us out.'

'You finally admit I was helpful then', her pure, proud, cheeky expression made him smile a bit.

'I never said you didn't help us numerous times.'

'What's the mission?' She asked. He said he didn't know yet. They heard a whistle coming from the table where their colleagues were sitting. It was Kyle urging them to go sit with them.

'I made it pretty obvious I left them there to come talk to you…'

He felt like the people around them disappeared, the noise, the smell of booze. She sat beside him or rather in front of him, her heels propped up on the stool, her lacy dress flowing, she looked like a lily, the flower. It could not be real, he couldn't even remember the last time he felt like that, drawn to someone, wanting to get close, touch her arm, feel her skin against his own. And be touched, and be hugged by her, he wanted her attention, he wanted her to look at him, acknowledge him at all times, he was special to her and he deserved her special treatment. He got chosen, over all the others, she just said it, there it was on paper. He didn't imagine it. 'You wanted to talk to me?' He asked, a breath. She leaned into the counter, she heard him cause she was closer. She nodded. 'Why?' He asked.

She smiled. Without putting on a show, she let her hand travel on the counter, until the tip or her pointy acrylic nail poked his finger, wrapped around the beer glass. 'Is it so strange that I want to?' It's not? Did she see past it? The mask, his appearance, the scars, the trauma, his attitude? Or was he never really Ghost when he was around her? Of course he was, she was just so strong and clever to just… see Simon as well. 'I'm not really…', he tried. He didn't push away her hand, his fingers slowly intertwining with hers. Her hands were cold.

'I don't really do this? I don't know when was the last time I actually… you know…', he didn't need to finish, she nodded. She didn't look pitiful. 'Do you want me to tell you why?' She murmured. He didn't really think she had a reason. When he nodded, she started to speak. She looked down at their hands, her fingers brushing his, not really holding his hand, rather exploring the patterns in his skin, tracing them with her nails. 'I think you're kind. You've always been nice to me, considerate. I can tell you care. You know, after last year and Arash and all…' she stopped to take a deep breath, '...it felt nice to have you.' He felt faint. She wasn't done. 'At Christmas and New Years…I think we're different and there are many things you experienced I can't comprehend and stuff about me that you wouldn't get, but… I don't know, I like spending time with you. And speaking to you.' She looked at him with the end of the sentence. His mouth was dry, he felt a strange ringing in his ear. He debated getting out of there, it all sounded absurd, it sure didn't apply to him. She spoke again. 'Was it too much?' She asked.

He was quick to shake his head, but words were just not coming out of his mouth. She let go of his hand, taking a sip and finishing her half pint. He imitated her. 'I guess…', he began, terrified waiting too long to reply would make her think he didn't somehow feel the same. 'I don't know, would you want to… I…' he stuttered and stopped, like he was checking his surroundings, like he was bracing for impact, '…would you like to go out maybe, to eat…' She had this adorable upside down smile on her face, her eyes glistening. 'Yes, sure.' She said.

He stared at her for a few more seconds, to ensure she wasn't gonna spontaneously combust after saying yes to that date. A date. She looked even more heavenly now, like he saw her under a different light. A date. He heard Gaz's voice behind him, probably coming towards the bar to ruin the moment. There were two women dancing to the music and laughing loudly. He heard the noise fo glass shattering on the floor, as someone dropped his drink. He watched her fix a strand of hair behind her ear, he thought he didn't really care at this point. She was his date.

'Want another beer?'

notes: so so late at night for my standards, apologies if you see any mistakes!! happy chapter, I feel full of love after writing this, too bad I'm gonna start writing the last chapter soon... as I promised hell, hell I will deliver. I feel like now is a good time to announce the follow up series to professional help, THE NIGHT OF THE TARANTULA, which will be posted in the next few months, featuring alba, simon and many others!! can you guess what I will be about?

taglist: @random-fandom-smoothie

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot

Before I start, I have to comment that it's quite the fucking coincidence that, even though I'm randomizing the seasons and episodes separately, I've landed an episode right before out last edition of these Random Merlin Rewatch posts. Maybe these generators just really like the early seasons BBC Merlin. Can't blame 'em.

Can't wait to see my boy Lancelot again.

Those mushrooms Merlin is picking look fucking delicious, damn.

Can you imagine you're just chilling, picking mushrooms, and then you look up and there's a huge ass 4 legged bird looking creature just straight up coming straight at you? Jesus fuck. Merlin, my son, you CANNOT catch a break, it's almost impressive.

LANCELOT SCREAMING LMAO

Colin sometimes made the funniest of faces. Merlin looked about to literally shit himself and it made me crack up.

It truly is actually so sweet and brave for Lancelot to just. Do that. Like he just wanted to save Merlin, no questions, no nothing, he's just a good man.

MUSICCCCCCC LET'S GOOOOO

What a horrifying thought that a creature that can fly and takes human might just. Come by where you live. And you just gotta be prepared. Fucking Christ that's scary.

Merlin looks so gorgeous with the light just shining on him like that. Long pretty eyelashes, bright blue eyes, red lips. Motherfucker looks fuckable I can tell you that much.

"The great Arthur" what an interesting thing for Merlin to say, to refer to Arthur like that. Is that what he hears about Arthur? Especially when it comes to his fighting?? That's so funny. Wonder how Arthur feels about that; pride or need to meet up to expectations. Knowing him, probably both.

Gotta say, I love the fashion sense of this random lady here. Simply gorgeous.

Jesus he's so dramatic.

What the fuck is this man doing, just flinging both of his swords around, what the fuck.

Merlin just immediately resorting to lying. Why does he think that resolves everything when it literally never does??

Merlin shaking his head and Lancelot's just. immediate disappointment is so funny to me for some reason. He's just "Yeah, I figured, fuck me, oh well, might as well kill myself-"

LANCELOT IS SO DORKY I LOVE HIM!!!!

Did Uther just straight up create Camelot? I think he did. The first code came because of Uther wanting knights that he could trust, those who had allegiance with him, the nobility. And that's where the first code came from. Uther straight up created Camelot? From scratch? I always assumed he'd inherit from his father, but honestly, the fact that he made Camelot as great as she is by himself makes sense: that's why he never wants it to change unless it's by his own accord, not only because he's King, but because this kingdom is purely his.

Love Lancelot's little leather bracelets: a big thick one on his right arm, and a bunch of thin ones on his left. It's really cute how humans just like to make themselves look prettier or cooler or whatever with anything they've got.

"My father, my mother" implying Lancelot's an only child, since he doesn't mention any siblings dying at the raid.

Love how attached Merlin becomes of Lancelot. I think it's because Merlin can just see, plainly, that Lancelot is a good man. No hidden bullshit about, he's a good person. He knows Lancelot would make an amazing knight, probably better than the assholes he suffers while following Arthur around. That's why he fights so hard to give him what he deserves.

"Homework." yeah, 'cause your famously enrolled in a school, aren't you Merlin?

Merlin literally cannot be fucking subtle to save his life. Everybody just knows he's up in some shenanigan or other.

It's the way that Merlin is doing this almost with the intent of them finding Lancelot out, but much later on, when he's already proven worthy of his role, etc etc. However, Lancelot is right, you can't lie like that and then be a knight, so he knows that if he's found out, they'll kick him out. You have Merlin who knows the rules have to change, not just for his friend but just in general 'cause it's unfair, and then you have Lancelot that knows that it's not a good idea, and they'll be found out, but damn it it's literally what he's been working towards his whole life and, really, Merlin isn't wrong, is he? So even though he knows it won't end well, he'd rather take this little bit than nothing at all.

OUGH GWEN'S HANDS JUST SOOOO CLOSE TO LANCELOT'S BITS MY BOY IS FLUSTERED AS FUCK

I'm not gonna lie, I would've died if I saw Gwen smiling at me on her knees. Jesus Christ, I feel flustered.

AHHHHHH THEY'RE FLIRTINGGGGGG

They're crushing HARD BRO.

"Best seamstress in Camelot." I don't even care if that's just Merlin exaggerating, this is now part of Gwen's character to me.

Lancelot is so awkward and dorky and then he has his smooth moments but it's just because he says what he means, he doesn't even know he's being smooth, please I love him.

AHAHAHAHAHAH ARTHUR SMACKING LANCELOT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

The little sound Lancelot makes when he comes back from the stables. I'm fucking dead. That's me.

"And the truth before I lose my temper?" underrated Gaius line.

Arthur looks so slutty with that red shirt and red pendant combo.

We don't talk enough about how good the fight choreography can be in BBC Merlin. It looks so REAL, I don't know how else to describe it.

Jesus, Lancelot aimed to kill. Without a helmet, half of Arthur's head would've been cut off. Damn.

Arthur is so dramaticcccccccc

"You set him on a path of your choosing." This is so interesting. Mainly because, the point of saying that, Gaius means that Merlin played God and that he can't change destiny, he can't change everything. Well..... doesn't Kilgarrah literally tell Merlin the exact opposite? In the sense that he always tells Merlin that he's the one who needs to choose the outcome of others, like whether they live or die, which is literally playing God. Doesn't he expect Merlin to shape his own destiny but also the destiny of Arthur and of others, something that never works out and cannot be changed? Yet he always made it seem like he could change the outcome? I'm saying this just with a pit in my stomach that, unknowingly or not, Kilgarrah set Merlin up for a failed task, in the sense that, in him trying to play God and force everybody's destinies, he doomed them all. And I just don't know if Kilgarrah didn't think about that or just didn't care and just placed his bets. He put it all on Merlin, and it ruined everything. Kilgarrah really is the one who killed Arthur, not Mordred, not Morgana, not Merlin. I hope I worded this well.

Interesting that Morgana is wearing the same dress as the first episode, but also a high ponytail, which I can't remember any other time she did.

Oh jesus, it's so weird that Morgana and Arthur are looking at each other like that. I do get it, the king's ward I think would have the expectation of marrying the prince, but it's just sick that Uther just let that grow, knowing what he knows. People would talk about them two. He's hear them. And he'd just what, say "Perhaps they will marry."? Ew, bro.

Not Gwen just heavily hinting that her type is Merlin. But also, are you about that? Considering: Arthur? 'Cause girl, you love that man. (and also Morgana, but it's not canon or whateverrr). Anyways, Gwen's type is: heart of gold. Now, is that heart obscured by anything? Like some defensive and prickly walls? Maybe. But it's still there.

Merlin and Gwen having girl talkkkkkkkkkk

Merlin and Lancelot at the VERY VERY least cuddled on that tiny little bed, didn't they? (they snogged too, but shhhh)

Well, that was short lived.

Lancelot is stronger than me, I would've started sobbing. Not even to get away for the crime, I'd just be so embarrassed and distraught, bro.

Oh, the fact that Arthur called Uther "Sire", ohhhh he wants to get on his good graces so bad to maybe save Lancelot.

"How can you trust a man who's lied to you?" by understanding any layers of his decision. By understanding why he did it. And only then can you make a true and complete judgement of his lie.

Lancelot is just. A good person. To a fault, I imagine, I personally think he's not truly always present, like in the moment, always either thinking of the past or future or just living day by day, unaware of really anything. It makes him a bit idealistic, but also quick to be realistic/pessimistic once he's brought back down to earth. He hasn't had a home since childhood so he never feels like he belongs anywhere. It's why it's so easy for him to leave. And while he never expects anything from anyone, he craves it so much; but once he receives it, he'll take any indication he doesn't deserve it and accept without question and just move on to the next. He doesn't think he's worth fighting for, so he doesn't advocate for himself. But he'll always advocate for others, if he has them. It's what he would want other's to do for him.

The fact that things only recorded in myth or legend are just. Walking about. Chilling.

I wonder how Bradley trained for the "ON ME!" screams he does. They're immaculate, but I bet training for it must be so fucking goofy.

It's a stunning creature, though, ngl.

It's the way that Arthur is, canonically, only 20 years old right now. He turns 21 in ep 9. He's literally my age. Jesus fucking Christ.

Well finally the guards are good for something.

One thing I'll always appreciate about Bradley's acting? He WILL look like he's exerting himself. His cheeks will be puffed out, he is inhaling and exhaling, he is pursing his lips in concentration, he is doing the WORK.

Uther is so fucking stubborn. How terrifying it must be for Arthur to know that in an hour or two, him and his knights are marching to what is, most likely, their deaths? He KNOWS they're weapons are useless. And yet he can't defy his king, his father. How fucking scary it must be to be the prince and to just have to maybe die for your father, the king? What the fuck??

Oh the things Gaius says about Merlin :((( they care about each other so much.

Oh yes, Arthur, we know YOU need Lancelot, you've looked down at his exposed hair chest twice now.

What a homoerotic charged scene. They need to bang at least once. Don't know if it would resolve anything, but at least it'd get them off.

Gaius trying to be so supportive, ough.

Gwen's father is still alive, do they not live together? Lancelot just barged in and there's no Tom in sight. Does he sleep at the forge? Actually. He just might.

Oh the music is GORGEOUS, hello???

Love how Gwen went straight to Merlin, she knows he'll do something about it. She doesn't know what to do, but she knows Merlin will at least try something. I feel like it's moments like these where it shows thar Gwen just always knew that somehow Merlin would solve things, and where she starts to suspect Merlin is truly very special. Maybe not "he has magic", not right away, but that there's just something about him.

Lancelot literally looks like the coolest knight ever bro. Most knight knight to ever knight.

Props to Lancelot for not freaking the fuck out when his lance just starts fucking glowing out of nowhere. I guess he's busy looking eye to eye with the griffin.

OUGHHH THE BOYS ARE SO CUTE, THEY'RE SO HAPPY IT ALL WORKED OUT!!! LOOK AT MERLIN GEEKING OUT I LOVE IT!! AND LANCELOT JUST LOOKS SO STARSTRUCK

AHHHHH ARTHUR JUST SO EXCITED FOR LANCELOT!!! The way he said his name so softly, ough...... He's not gonna stop thinking about Lancelot for a LONG time, huh.

Oh, I love when the episode has so many happy moments like these :))) tugs at my heartstrings in the best way.

"I see you feel strongly about this Arthur." I just know Uther knows about Arthur's bisexuality bro, ain't no way.

It's the way that Merlin and Arthur just. share so many views in common. Makes me bonkers. I wonder how many amazing discussion they could've had if they ever felt truly comfortable in talking about such sensitive topics, and with Merlin hiding so much of who he is.

Uther watching Lancelot leave knowing he's literally all a knight is supposed to be. But then, it's not as easy to command them when they have such set morals. He knows Lancelot stands for what is right and THAT is a problem: he needs knights that stand for Uther, not for what is right. But he can recognize that Lancelot is a worthy man of it.

Also Arthur's heartbroken face. Yeah, Lancelot is gonna live rent free in his mind for a while. He'll never admit it though. Duh.

Oh Morgana speaks to Gwen so softly. The way she says her name??? Jesus fuck.

It's the way that they let him have a Pendragon red cloak at also armor? Hello???? That's a full knight riding out of Camelot bro. Now I'm thinking of the hilarious concept that Gwen was looking at the wrong guy-

Not Morgana doing an Arthur when she gets jealous: make Gwen take her mind off of things with work. She says it much kinder because that's just what Gwen deserves, but it's the same technique. Don't think about that other person, go do something for me instead.

And done!!! Fuck yeah brother

[brawngp2009]

Mitski lyrics that, i think, are borcedes coded.

If you need to be mean Be mean to me I can take it and put it inside of me If your hands need to break More than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm As you break my heart

— "I don't smoke"

Did you go and make promises you can't keep? Well, when you break them They break you right back Amateur mistake You can take it from me They break you right back Break you right back

— "Bug like an angel"

But here in our place We have for the day Can we stay awhile and listen for Heaven

— "Heaven"

And it may be a few years, but you can bet it's there, waiting still For me to be left alone in a room full of things that I've done

— "I don't like my mind"

You're my best friend Now I've no one to tell How I lost my best friend

— "The frost"

No matter that love's gone We just see it shining We've traveled very far, I'll Keep a leftover light burning So you can keep looking up Isn't that worth holding on

— "Star"

I can feel it getting near Like flashlights coming down the way One day you'll figure me out I'll meet judgement by the hounds People always gave me love Others were never to blame after all You believe me like a God I betray you like a man

— "I'm your man"

Open up your heart Like the gates of hell You stay soft, get beaten Only natural to harden up You stay soft, get eaten Only natural to harden up

— "Stay soft"

And I opened my arms wide to the dark I said take it all, whatever you want I didn't know that I was young I didn't know what it would take

— "Everyone"

And there's nothing I can do Not much I can change So, I give it up to you I hope that's okay There's nothing I can do Not much I can change I give it up to you I surrender

— "Heat lightning"

So I'll be the loser in this game I'll be the bad guy in the play I'll be the water main that's burst and flooding You'll be by the window, only watching

— "The only heartbreaker"

It's been you and me Since before I was me Without you I don't yet know Quite how to live

— "I guess"

You know me better than I do So why didn't you stop me?

— "Why didn't you stop me?"

I haven't told anyone Just like we promised Have you? Every time I drive through the city where you're from I squeeze a little

— "Old friend"

And you say, "Hello" And I lose 'Cause nobody butters me up like you, and Nobody fucks me like me

— "Lonesome Love"

I didn't know I had a dream I didn't know until I saw you

— "Come into the water"

I could stare at your back all day

— "Pink in the night"

And the ground has been slowly pulling us back down You see it on both our skin We get a few years and then it wants us back It would be a hundred times easier If we were young again

— "Two slow dancers"

If you would let me give you pinky-promise kisses Then I wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart If I could see you Once more to see you

— "Once more to see you"

I will go jogging routinely Calmly and rhythmically run And when I find that a knife's sticking out of my side I'll pull it out without questioning why

— "Fireworks"

You're the sun, you've never seen the night But you hear its song from the morning birds Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds

— "Your best American girl"

I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I pay for my place By the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side

— "I bet on losing dogs"

It's been a long, hard, twenty-year summer vacation All these twenty years trying to fill the void

— "Crack baby"

And I am the fire, and I am the forest And I am a witness watching it I stand in a valley watching it And you are not there at all

— "Burning hill"

One word from you and I would Jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby Tell me, "Don't," so I can crawl back in

— "First love/late spring"

I don't need the world to see That I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I could stand to be Where you don't see me

— "Francis forever"

They'll never know how I'd stared at the dark in that room With no thoughts Like a blood-sniffing shark And while my dreams made music in the night Carefully I was going to live

— "Last words of a shooting star"

And I don't mean to make your heart blue But could we be what we're meant to be?

— "Goodbye my Danish sweetheart"

Don't dare regret anything Remember what you're here for

— "Because dreaming costs money"

I broke what you gave me But you kept giving more And I'm sorry for taking But I keep wanting more, more, more

— "Humpty"

I just need a quiet place Where I can scream How I love you

— "i want you"

Look at you, strawberry blond Fields rolling on I love it when you call my name Can you hear the bumblebees swarm? Watching your arm I love it when you look my way

— "Strawberry blond"

I think my fate is losing its patience I think the ground is pulling me down I think my life is losing momentum I think my ways are wearing me down

— "Brand New City"

There is a light, I feel it in me But only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me There is a dream and it sleeps in me Keeps me awake in the night, crying, "Set me free!" And I wake every night, crying, "Set me free!"

— "Abbey"

[cefromagegrille]

SPY. SPY. OMFG LISTEN IMA TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE YOUR THE CLOSET THING TO A FATHER I HAVE AND THATS SAYING A FUCK TON. IM A LESBIAN!!! IT TOOK FOREVER TO FIGURE OUT BUT I FOUND OUT WHILE TALKING TO MYSELF (I do it to figure things out and to try to solve issues i have, also its kinda nice) AND I REALIZED....''Holy shit...i'm just gay.'' YES I HAVE CRUSH ON FICTIONAL DUDES BUT THATS THE THING, THEY'RE FICTIONAL. WHEN IT COMES TO MEN IRL I TEND TO GET UNCOMFY AT THE THOUGHT OF DATING THEM OR EVEN WHEN I DID DATE A MAN I JUST DISTANCED MYSELF ALOT (we only lasted like 6 days....) SO YEAH. ALSO WHEN IT COMES TO GIRLS I PAY MUCH MORE ATTENTION TO DETAIL. ''Oh the girl i went on a date with? She had lovley brown hair, these pretty almond shaped eyes...she wore the prettiest green dress like omg'' BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MEN ITS MORE LIKE, ''...he wore...kakis...'' THATS IT. IM JUST NOT INTO MEN. I'VE CRACKED THE FUCKING CODE. I DID IT. IM GAY!! -Eloise, p.s. hope u doin good french man

Congratulations... Self-discovery is monumental, and always happening. Do not be afraid of change. You might find yourself comfortable.

[roppiepop]

Vague Age Swap au WIP

Somewhat prompted by this specific ask!!!

Jason sees Tim's case file for the first time when he's 12.

It passes by as a glimpse while Bruce is combing through possible links between two separate attacks on City Hall, but Jason latches onto it. It's a kid his age between middle-aged crooks, and the idea they're put on the same level rankles something in Jason's gut.

Newly christened Robin-status be damned, he kicks the back of the Batcomputer chair and forces Bruce to turn and face him.

"What the fuck, B?" he exclaims, jabbing a finger at his face. "Are you arresting kids?"

Bruce, for his part, looks perplexed for one moment  before it smooths out to impassivity. "I do not."

Jason takes to the console and switches back to profile he saw. "What's this, then?"

And a twitch of Bruce's brow betrays annoyance, one surprising enough that Jason pauses, head tilted to the side.

"Bruce?"

"I've never arrested him." he says, tone carefully neutral. "He's not linked to any crimes."

Bruce then leans back, allowing Jason to read the file for himself. He takes to it with a gusto, filled with curiosity on what would incite that kind of reaction.

The face that stares back at him is young, in a polished smile the way Jason imagines rich kids are thought to be on their father's knees. The photo itself might have been from a yearbook- at one of those fancy-schmancy schools that got a uniform with a fucking blazer.

With those impressions alone Jason still has no idea why this prissy kid embodying the crust of Gotham elite would be on Bruce's radar.

Curiosity gets the better of him. Jason skips through the personal information to go straight to case notes.

Seen above Club Vesuvius on 11/24

Seen outside container yard unit F302 on 11/17

Seen exiting S.T.A.R Labs on 11/05

Seen at Giordano Botanical Gardens on 11/01

Alleytown sightings on 10/18, 10/19, 10/20, 10/26, and 10/28

Crown point sightings on 10/04, 0/06, 10/10, 10/12, and 10/15

Seen at Trigate bridge on 09/14

And it goes on, and on. Appearances around rogue attacks, on the edge of weapons trades, just on different streets- always linked to one Batman takedown or another.

Jason notices the dates too, never a week without the kid popping up somewhere, listed out months before Bruce even found him. Present but unattached to any of the events he's seen in.

Like a distant spectre following the Bat's every move.

He scrolls further down, to any assessments Bruce might've made on this, because a teenager stalking Batman seems an awful lot like something nefarious building up to chaos, but he's hit with an extra authorization prompt for a code he doesn't have.

Bruce takes over the computer console before Jason can attempt to crack it, minimizing the tab back to the video coverage of Neil Murphy's shirt in a rapidly growing puddle of red.

"Who isthat?"

"Tim Drake." Bruce replies, in a sardonic tone that would irritate him if he bothered to catch the name before.

Jason still lets out a huff. "What's his deal? How is he following you so often?"

That brow of his twitches again, paired with a frown Jason's only seen when someone mentions Nightwing. Fingers tap on the console in a language unknown to the teen. Bruce tersely says, "He knows."

A pause, heartbeat spiking as Jason absorbs what that means. But even then- "Still doesn't explain why he's stalking you."

Bruce's exhale could be a sigh. "Not just me. He has a camera."

"Information broker?"

The frown turns contemplative. "No, not quite."

Then what? Jason's brain tries to piece it together, the image of a figure that knows Bruce's- all- of their identities, actively tails them, and takes photographic evidence of every fight they have. He tries to come up with any logical reason a teenager might do that. Then narrows those down to non-evil purposes. There aren't much.

Is he dangerous? Jason wants to ask. Everything here is a pretty big neon sign to the road of villainy. But Jason is still hung up on the age- this kid looked younger than him for fuck's sake! It doesn't make sense for him to be acting this out alone. And if there is a larger perpetrator behind this- Jason's thoughts go back to the kid's placid blue eyes, the plastic smile and steel posture- what comes out of his mouth becomes. "Is he safe?

It's evidently not the question Bruce expects. Another silence with that constipated frown of his. Jason's feet tap restlessly on the floor in the meantime.

It stops silent with Bruce's pointed stare.

"Stay away from him."

[otrtbs]

I want Barty Crouch and “But you can call me Barty 😏” to meet like yesterday

BABE THIS HAS BEEN IN MY INBOX FOREVER BECAUSE I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS MEANT. I FELT LIKE I WAS DECIPHERING A CODE OR SOMETHING AND I'VE JUST BEEN STARING AND STARING AT THIS FOR AGES.

BUT I FUCKING GOT IT.

YOU MEAN THAT TIKTOK GUY WITH THE POSH ACCENT. THAT TIKTOK GUY BARTHOLOMEW MONTGOMERY THE THIRD OR WHATEVER!!! I CRACKED THE CODE OH MY GOD I FUCKING DID IT !!

[tobiasdrake]

That was sweet. Now back to the much more dismal present.

We're back to the burning question: Stabilized homunculus who's cracked the secret of curing ferals? Ghost coming to comfort Yakou in his low comprehension? Or the hallucination of a memory Yakou will never let go of?

That's a heartening thing to say. Did you crack the secret of stabilizing the defective homunculi?

There is a cure. We're probably going to use up the entire sample on Yakou as a bittersweet moment, like her greatest research was to give him a second chance at life.

But even if that's the case, the fact that she managed to do it means it can be done. Much like Real Yuma's ramen shop, it shows the value of crowdsourcing the homunculi's problems outside of just Makoto.

If stabilizing homunculi is possible, then even if Yakou uses the entire sample, it means someone else might crack this code again. It's proof-of-concept that the code can be cracked.

I am so happy right now. We can cure Yakou. We can cure the Theater Girls. We can cure Shachi. And the Priest. We can shove Huesca in a pit. We can cure Tetra's dad!

I mean, after it's reinvented, of course. I'm sure there's only going to be enough in that thing for Yakou.

Yep. One pill. Which is just kicking the can down the road; Yakou will be fine until his next death and then he's right back in this situation.

But it's proof of concept. First thing he should do as soon as he regains his mental faculties is go straight to Makoto and tell him it can be done. We need to restart homunculus research, and pore over his wife's notes extensively. Maybe take samples of Yakou's blood for testing.

T_T This is such a sweet conclusion, both for Yakou's journey and for the story as a whole.

And there she goes confusing me again. I do not know what you mean by that. Is she saying to go dig up her corpse if he can't un-feral?

It's not like he can die and join her in the afterlife. She's already got a Yakou with her in the afterlife. This one's trapped here forever.

All the same, this is such a great ending. Emotionally powerful and satisfyingly interesting all at once.

"Hard man seeks revenge because his woman was fridged" is a character archetype I generally loathe. But it works so well for Yakou. Partly because it's not what solely defines his character; There are plenty of other facets to him as well. Like most of Kodaka's characters, he's a complicated guy.

But also because of the leg-work that this DLC did to make his wife out as more than just a nice lady who died so we can be mad about it. I've seen more than a few attempts at trying to convince the audience to be emotionally invested in the dead spouse but this is the first one that's ever worked for me.

I think it's because most of the time, the dead wife winds up characterized like this saintly figure who was perfect and demure and wifely in all the "right ways", such that she never feels like her own character and comes off more like the emotional crowbar that she is. But Kodaka sat down at his computer and just hammered out a concise tale about two people who enjoy each other's company and find they have some shared interests.

With characters like these, it often winds up feeling like they were just spinning their wheels living Insert Idyllic Life and waiting for the story to start. Things won't get interesting until she dies. Sorry, but her life is the price of admission for this cool story, I guess.

But with Yakou and his wife, it's like. No. No, this was the story. A whirlwind romance besieged by assassins and gene research, that was the story of their life. The Yakou we meet when we step off that train is a broken man because, for him, the story catastrophically ended. For him, there is nothing left to tell.

...if only she had a fucking name. Come on, Kodaka! Really!? I'm shilling this love story you wrote so hard and it's between Yakou and... Amaterasu Researcher. God fucking dammit, even when you're on the ball, I want to shake you violently for the choices you make.

[huffle-dork]

Glitch into the Hufflverse Chapter 17: Swapboys Bad End

Read Swapboys | Read Crystal’s AUs | Read One Villain falls Another One Rises

Read SITCV | Read SATCV | GITHV Masterpost

Alt glitches them all down, way underground. But even away from the destruction up top- this way is no worse for wear. That glitchy code that’s eating buildings outside is in here- leaving abandoned equipment half formed and walls with big gaping code holes.

Against the back wall, or whatever is left of it- is a stone archway. But it’s been destroyed too- crushed and cut in half by something that has left purple scars in the stone.

Alt gasps as he sees and rushes over, “no! Nonono!”

Henny sighs heavily, “It is as I feared…”

Schneep sighs as well. "That does not sound good at all."

"It's completely destroyed," Jackie whispers. "Like... cut in half. And there are purple cracks in the stone."

Alt looks angry as he bangs against the back wall. “Damnit! Fuck this evil fucking me! This could have gotten you home!”

JJ walks forward, as if in a daze. He reaches out to touch the stone of the doorway, running his fingers along the rough stone. He can tell there were runes carved into it, but the purple scars are messing with their shape. He can't tell which runes they were supposed to be. Except... for one. He looks up at one, where the top left corner of the doorway would have been. I know that one.

"You recognize one of the runes?" Jackie asks.

JJ nods. He points at it. An angled sort of spiral. That one is on the back of some of Marvin's magickal cards. The jokers.

"Alright... what does it mean?" Schneep asks.

I'm not sure. That's the only place I've seen them. But... I think it's supposed to be a tunnel of some kind.

Alt looks to JJ as he talks about the runes then tilts his head as he touches the spiral rune. “…huh… like a… a portal? Is that the rune that makes this thing work…?”

JJ shakes his head. I don't know. Marvin's told me that runes all work together. You can't cast a spell with just one or two. He takes a closer look at more of the runes. You know... these are all different styles. I'm betting there's a variety of runic alphabets here. Strange. Normally you have to stick with one.

“True… even when I use chaos magic I need at least 3 to create something…” Alt says. He does look surprised at the different runic languages. “Huh… I wonder if it’s like… a mix of magic cultures… I heard in the medieval world they had a doorway like this. I never got to see it but I remember trying to search for it…”

I wonder if these doorways are... always there, JJ says.

"I cannot imagine an 'always' in an infinite multiverse," Schneep says. "But they might be consistent in this part of the multiverse. This, ah... section?"

"Branch, my Anti's said 'our branch' a couple times," Jackie says.

Jackie and Schneep also walk over. Schneep starts feeling the broken archway, running fingers along the carved runes. "Hey, look, there's another one of those spiral runes." Jackie says, picking up a bit of rubble.

That looks like it would have been the opposite corner, JJ says. So there are two tunnel runes. I don't see any other repeats... they must be important.

Bro comes over and tries to move around to not spook anyone. “Hey! Maybe we could… put it back together? That’s worth a try, right?”

"Worth a shot, yeah." Jackie nods. "I can't think of any other ideas."

"Heh." Schneep smiles a bit. "Jamie, do you know Mending? Do you have the spell slots for it?"

JJ chuckles a little. I should have the 'spell slots', yes. I've never tried fixing something with magic but it can't be that difficult.

“I can try to help too… can’t be too hard to figure out between two magicians right?” Alt smiles at JJ.

“That’s the spirit!” Bro grins. He starts searching through the rubble to look for more pieces. “Also love the dnd reference- god Alt when we get home we should start a game! God it’d be sick to do a game with all of us… Do you think discord could cross dimensions??”

Alt bursts into laughter.

Jackie raises an eyebrow. "Nerds. You're all nerds."

Schneep nudges him with his shoulder. "Ah come on, Jackie. You cannot be so different from the Jackie I know that you are not a tiny bit interested."

Jackie grumbles as he starts sorting through the rubble. "I... may have tried in high school. But I got bored waiting for my turn to fight."

You just need to do something else while waiting, something idle, JJ says. Besides, the fifth edition isn't fully combat-focused. There's a lot more you can do!

“I never got to play- it seems really fun though,” Alt admits. He laughs, “Dr. J used to run the group that my Jackie and his wife were in. Did you ever join, Chase?”

Bro hums, “Mmmm maybe once? But I feel like I might have gotten too drunk- I usually met up with Jackie at pub crawls… maybe there was a dnd night?”

Alt laughs, “maybe next time I see your Anti, Jackie,  I’ll ask if he might have a way… I feel like he would know.”

"If Discord can cross dimensions, I'd be... fine with... trying," Jackie mumbles. "If anyone would, it's him," he agrees. "Not sure if he'll agree to break the fabric of space-time for a DnD game... but I dunno, maybe he really likes you guys." 

“He seemed pretty fond of us,” Bro giggles, “He’s helped us out of so many pickles. I think he’s a chill dude.”

“I feel like fusing with me made us actually tolerate each other,” Alt chuckles.

"Your Anti sounds like the type of person you're glad to be friends and not enemies with," Schneep says.

"Ohhhh hundred percent," Jackie agrees. "Anyway. Sort out the pieces by ones that have flat sides, ones that have edges, and ones that are purely rough."

“Heh! This is like a puzzle!” Bro chuckles as he follows Jackie’s instructions.

"Exactly like a puzzle," Schneep agrees, feeling out the pieces. "Hmm. What is this? The texture is strange."

Looks like a piece where one type of stone meets another, JJ says. There are a lot of those. But it'll help us figure out where to put stuff.

"We can also use these purple lines, that might help," Jackie says.

Alt hums and starts to look for the purple pieces. “Right… there’s gotta be a good way to connect these…”

Henny starts to help- Sahne tries by pushing over stones with her nose- but soon she finds herself playing with the rocks instead of helping.

JJ reaches over and pats Sahne. Good dog... but not really helping. Maybe the opposite, actually. He moves some of the rocks she's messing with back in place.

Sahne leans into the pets and goes roll around and play in a pile far away, throwing the rocks around and chasing after them like she’s playing fetch with herself.

"You can, like, follow the lines," Jackie says. "It'll probably be easiest to put together the parts that broke right through a rune. Liiiike this." He puts two pieces together, forming a complete rune.

Hand those to me, JJ says. Jackie does so, and JJ pushes the two pieces together. A bit of blue magic traces over the crack, leaving behind some ice that seals the two pieces together.

Alt grins wide at seeing JJ’s magic, “hey! Nice!”

He looks through and finds a couple purple cracks together, switching them around until the rock clicks back together just right. He concentrates and then puts a glowing finger up to the break and pushes it down the line. A line of green follows and welds the pieces back together. Alt like pleasantly surprised. “Yoo! That worked!!”

JJ smiles. It didn't cost too much magic, which is good.

"Alright, so if we find two pieces that fit together, we had them to JJ or Alt to put together," Jackie says. "This isn't like a puzzle where you work on the edge first. We piece it together as we find them."

Schneep frowns. "I hope working by touch is enough... I can do most of the sorting, I think, if you all want to focus on the puzzle."

Henny nods, “We will help with putting them together, other me! Just leave it to us, sorting helps plenty!”

“Yeah Schneep we gotcha!” Bro agrees, helping him to sort and put stuff together, handing stuff to alt for him to try to piece together and weld.

Schneep smiles at Henny and Bro. "I will, then. You all can probably do better than me."

JJ puts two more pieces together. No runes on either of these; they must be part of the inside, judging by the rough texture. I hope we don't make any mistakes.

"I think it'll be harder to make mistakes with big rocks like this than with tiny puzzle pieces," Jackie says. Though he frowns. "There are... probably tiny bits, though..." He sighs. "This might take a while."

"Well, more time to talk, then, I suppose," Schneep says.

“I believe in us! We got a system and that bastard Glitch guy is probably still an icicle and we’re all completely out of sight! There’s no way he’ll find us!” Bro grins, “…maybe that means I can stop being invisible soon- this has been sooo weird.”

Alt laughs and shakes his head, “gotta commend your optimism, Chase.”

All of them get to work, sorting, piecing and patching what they can find.

A couple minutes pass in silence. "Sooo... like..." Jackie says slowly. "JJ, Schneep, do you guys play Dungeons and Dragons? Cause you both made the reference."

JJ seals another piece to two that are already together. I used to run games in uni. We had a little club. It wasn't that popular, but the guys that showed up were really fun.

"A couple times," Schneep says. "But I got busy as I got older, threw myself into work." He shakes his head. "I've never played with my current group of friends. Perhaps we could try... though they do not seem the type."

“Who do you think you’d play, if you could?” Bro asks cheerily as he passes more pieces to Alt.

"Hmm? You mean, what would my character be?" Schneep asks. "Well, I could never keep the spells together—too many options to choose from. So one of the fighting classes. And I generally like the elves and those types for race."

JJ shrugs. I like making strange combinations. Subverting expectations. But I can never stick with one character for long before making another, so that's why I run the games. I get to use all of them! He chuckles.

“Hey that’s clever! You definitely give off DM vibes, JJ,” Bro laughs. “I think… I like paladins- probably like a cool scourged aasimar or something! Edgy but fights for Justice and shit.”

“I thought you didn’t play,” Alt smirks.

“You have no idea how often Jackie and Jay talk about this my dude,” Bro laughs, “Jackie has helped me to think of potential characters! Still don’t super get it but man there’s tons of cool things to be!”

"The fuck is an aasimar?" Jackie mutters.

They're like angels—a bit, JJ says. In the same way that tieflings are like demons. They're both half human, half something else. Celestials and fiends in this case.

"Oh, I remember tieflings," Jackie says. "They seem cool." He shrugs. "I never really was one for magic characters in, like, video games. But I've learned a lot about magic recently... hanging out with magicians and all. Maybe I'd give it a shot. JJ, here." He hands over more pieces that JJ fuses together. 

“You seem like the type who’d play a human fighter, Jackie,” Bro snickers.

"IIIII'm pretty sure that's what my character was in high school," Jackie says. "Looking back, the guy was basically me. Or, uh... what I wanted to be. Cool badass hero defending the innocent and crushing bad guys." He shakes his head. "Man... how life changes."

Alt fuses a bit more pieces together and chuckles. “I’ve seen a lot of cool stuff from Jackie playing Baldur's Gate- maybe I should make a save and try it out.”

"What is Balder's Gate?" Schneep asks.

It's a game based of D&D, JJ says. I hear the third one's coming out in a couple years--in my world, at least.

“Oh yeah I think Jackie is playing the early access of that one.” Alt says with a laugh, “so it’s not there yet but from what I’ve seen? It’s gonna be such a cool game-“

“There wasss 2 other ones? I hear they’re really fun- I like more actiony games though.” Bro grins. “Where I can punch people.”

"Hell yeah, me too." Jackie nods and grins. "I mean, my favorite games are Sonic and their fast stuff. So, I guess I like platformers too? What about the rest of you?"

Schneep shrugs. "Never played many games. I think the only requirement for me is a good story."

Minecraft, JJ says.

Jackie laughs. "You can't exclusively play Minecraft."

I do, actually! JJ grins. Sometimes with mods.

“Fuck yeah Minecraft! I can’t get too into it but Jackie plays it a lot with his kids!” Bro says.

“Me and Chase loved sonic as kids- we used to play Sonic Adventure Battle 2 constantly and do the VS mode. Chase was Sonic, I was Shadow.” Alt laughs, putting together a couple more pieces.

"Oh that makes so much sense, actually." Jackie laughs. "I'm definitely a Shadow fan, too."

Everyone I know is a Shadow fan. JJ chuckles.

"I thought you only played Minecraft," Schneep says teasingly.

Yes, but I know about other games. My Anti plays them on YouTube for a living.

“Oh yeah that’s how you knew about Subnautica! …we need interdimenisonal internet so I can watch his let's plays,” Bro laughs.

“Oh yeah didn’t he say he plays spooky games? Heh… I’d like to see that.” Alt smiles.

JJ laughs. He does, he very much enjoys scary games. And also games that are easy to break or exploit. He has a series where he tries to deliberately find glitches. That's why some of his fans call him the glitch bitch.

“Oh my god- what an amazing nickname! Gonna start calling you that, Alt,” Bro grins.

Alt gives him a withering look.

Jackie laughs. "That what we used to call my Anti, too. It's very fitting, isn't it?"

“I’m not a bitch..!” Alt almost whines. 

Bro laughs and goes to give Alt a noogie but Alt glitches away even if Bro manages to get him at first. 

"Oh hey, we got a big part done now," Jackie says. There's a long column of stone completed on the ground in front of him, about as big as his forearm. There are still bits missing, but it's identifiably part of a door.

Alt has a similar part made, more of an L though as he forms a corner.

“Hoo boy… this is hard work,” Bro sighs.

“I think you all are making quick work of it though,” Henny says.

"It helps that there are many of us working," Schneep says.

"The worst parts are this, like, black stone," Jackie says, holding up a bit. "It broke smoothly, not jaggedly. Yknow?"

Alt then looks to Jackie and nods, trying to slip the smooth stones together, “yeah… it’s like… obsidian? So weird…”

Black stone and crystals are often used for protection and knowledge, JJ says. Perhaps that's why it was chosen. Knowledge of other worlds, or protection while crossing to another.

"Is there any special meaning to this type of stone?" Schneep asks, holding up a chunk of the not-black stone.

I'd have to know what type of stone it is, though... and it looks very... ordinary. JJ shrugs. Maybe it was chosen because it's easy to carve or something.

Alt does look fascinated by the meaning behind the black stone and studies his shards a bit more. “…knowledge huh…? …guess the other me here didn’t know about that… or maybe he could have used that. The knowledge part at least. Maybe the protection part is what kept him out.”

JJ shrugs. Who knows? Maybe magic doesn't work the same in your world at all.

"But I will point out that these doorways existing in their worlds means that there are some similarities, at least," Jackie says. "Oh! Hang on, Alt, I think this fits with the corner you're working on."

“Maybe… feel like the meanings of stones should be… universal almost?” Alt muses. He blinks at Jackie then grins, seeing if he can put them together.

"Should we start standing this upright?" Schneep asks.

“Might as well!” Bro says, starting to see if he can find the bottom.

"Here, flat end." Jackie points. "This is probably what we stand it on. On three. One... two... three!"

They push it up--but it doesn't stay. JJ reaches out and uses his magic to hold it in place. Where's the part to keep it up? he asks.

"Well uh... it's just kind of a... freestanding doorway," Jackie says slowly. "I uh... never thought about how it shouldn't be able to stand on its own."

“So how do we make it stand??” Alt asks.

Henny holds out his hand and covers the arch in his magic too, suspending it in place. “I can hold it in place just fine if you all would like to find out how it operates!”

Thank you, Henrik, JJ says. Perhaps... we need to complete it? Then whatever magic is helping it stand will kick in.

"So we should focus on the bit with the runes first, then?" Jackie asks.

Yes, I think so. Once the runes that help support it are done they should activate regardless of the rest of them.

"Well, in that case, do you know what runes those are?" Schneep asks.

I don't recognize a lot of these rune languages, but I can try? JJ says. Alt, you help, too. See if you recognize any symbols for... support, or stand, or... sturdy things.

“Got it-“ Alt nods and starts to look through all the runes to see if there’s any he recognizes.

JJ also searches. And though he doesn't find any he recognizes, he sees a rune near the bottom of the doorway that looks like a pair of legs mid-stride. What do you think of that one? JJ asks Alt, pointing to it.

"What're those, hieroglyphics?" Jackie mutters.

“Basically as far as I know,” Bro agrees. 

Alt glitches over to look and then shrugs, “S’the best bet so far- worth a shot.”

"So we must focus on completing this section, then?" Schneep hurries over to the sound of their voices. "Where?"

Near the bottom. Here, can I help?

"Yes, show me." Schneep holds out his hand, and JJ presses it to the section of runes they're looking at. There are still a few chunks missing.

"So look for ones that seem like they'll fit in there, then," Jackie sums up.

“On it!” Bro says and starts scooping out through their piles. He hands anything with runes to Alt who starts to see what fits and what doesn’t.

Slowly, they piece the runes together again. And when JJ seals the final part in place, the runes briefly flash with multicolored light. I think… that’s them working, JJ says. You can let go now, Henrik.

“Great! We still need to piece the rest of it together but at least it stands now,” Jackie says.

Alt’s eyes shine with fascination and excitement at seeing the runes glowing.

Henny releases his spell with a smile, “Good! We are getting somewhere!!”

Schneep sighs. “More piecing together, then. This is taking a long time.”

“Yeah, I bet Bro’s invisibility is gonna wear off soon,” Jackie says. “D’you think that if we focus on the runes it’ll work if all the runes are done?”

I don’t trust that it will work properly unless it’s completely fixed, JJ says.

“Well considering it was broken to bits- I think this is going smoother than it could have gone.” Alt shrugs.

“Focusing on the runes seems as good a place to start if any- maybe we can fill the gaps with magic if it seems too hard to all put together?” Bro suggests.

JJ frowns. This construction seems very deliberate… but if worst comes to worst, we can try that filling in with magic idea.

Henny starts to help again, though he’s cautiously looking around, clearly anxious about their surroundings.

Jackie notices Henny’s reaction. “You seem nervous, Hen. Worried about spending too much time here?”

Henny looks at Jackie and shakes his head, “I know this is what must be done to get you all home… I am just worried the glitch will find us…”

“No, of course, I’d be worried too,” Jackie says. “Uh… we’ll just just have to hurry. You can get out of here, right?”

“Yes I am not worried for me… I have evaded Glitch well enough on my own,” Henny replies, searching through stuff faster and passing it along. 

Schneep hurries, doing his best to feel out the pieces with runes carved on them and pass them to the others to figure out. Huh. Hang on a second, something about this sequence of symbols seems familiar to Bro and Alt… somehow, they know it means ‘the World.’

Alt lingers on the familiar symbols and looks at them, trying to figure out where he learned this.

Bro appears next to his shoulder- literally, as the spells wears off. “Hey! I know what that means!”

Alt jumps, nearly throwing the piece. “Jesus Christ Chase!”

“What???” Bro blinks in confusion then looks down at himself, “oh! I’m visible again!” He grins then blinks, “ohhh-“

“Yeah you scared the bejesus out of me dude!” Alt says.

“Well I didn’t know I was about to pop right back in!”

JJ laughs. Sorry, Chase, I should have said something. Though I wasn't fully keeping track of the time, either.

Jackie looks at the series of symbols. "This looks like some weirdo language. Like more fucking hieroglyphs."

What does it mean, you two? JJ asks. It's not familiar to me, at all.

Well, it's the World. Or... something like... aan Dahmun, maybe.

“Aan Dahmun…” Alt says quietly, tracing the symbols, a brief flicker of green in his eyes. “It means… the world.”

“Oh oh!! I know why it’s familiar!!” Bro says excitedly, “It’s Glasish!! Dude we still know some Glasish!!”

Jackie blinks. "Is that like... that fantasy world you guys went to?"

“Glasish is the language,” Alt explains, “We were in a land called Glasúil.” He tries to suppress a shudder. As much as he loved visiting Glasúil… the reason the language is in his head isn’t exactly a pleasant one. It just makes him think of the King.

So there's writing from that universe on here... JJ looks at the doorway with renewed awe. Perhaps that's why some of these symbols are strange to us. They're from a variety of worlds.

"Great. Let's keep fixing it," Jackie says, putting a piece in place. "Seal?"

JJ puts a hand on the piece and seals it in place.

“I wonder how that works,” Bro muses as he helps to find more rune pieces, “Do you think runes from other worlds just… show up? How do people find them..? Is it like in The Owl House where like- nature just shows you it? Magic is so weird.” He laughs.

JJ pauses thoughtfully. Well... how do these doorways even show up?

"Frederick and I did some research on that, actually," Jackie says as he continues piecing the doorway together. "Cause my Marvin's gone insane trying to learn about other worlds. Apparently these doorways just pop up in the world. No one knows where they come from, but they're not, like, made by people. And apparently... well, they're not supposed to be... destroy-able. But..." He gestures at the doorway before them.

"Perhaps there is something special about Alt's powers," Schneep says. "Something about being a glitch, perhaps?" He pauses, thinking about what the last world's Anti told him. About him being a glitch.

“Really? They just pop up? Whattt that’s even weirder!” Bro exclaims.

“According to the last world’s Anti… a glitch is someone who can break the fabric of their world… the boundaries… and act outside of it.” Alt says quietly, glancing at the holes filled with code around them. “And also… Mag figured out you need black magic and …whatever my glitches are to activate the gate. Maybe since other me has both, he was able to destroy it…”

“If he had both, why couldn’t he just use it then?” Bro asks, crossing his arms.

Alt shrugs, “I dunno… Sam sees everything. Maybe they did something to prevent it. Or… other universal forces. This me getting out… it would be very very bad if he can just take apart the world like this…”

"Sam sees everything?" Jackie repeats in a mutter. "Sam like... the little eyeball Anti and Jack hang out with?"

JJ raises his eyebrow. There's a Sam in my world, too. They're a friend of my Jack.

"I do not know a Sam," Schneep says, shaking his head. "The fuck do you mean an eyeball? An eye on its own? I suppose Jack's channel logo is like that."

"Heh. In my world, that logo is based on Sam," Jackie chuckles.

“Exactly! We met a couple but the one we’re talking about is giant!!!” Bro says, spreading out his arms as wide as he can.

“They’re the one who helped us get home last time when the TRVLR broke.” Alt explains, “they are from another world where… where an Anti got super powerful like here and corrupted most of our other selves. But they can also exist in… this space in between? Where Jackie’s Anti can go… it’s still really confusing but they told us they see everything and could find the broken parts of the TRVLR to return to us.”

"...huh." Schneep isn't sure how to respond to that. "That is... strange."

The world is strange, JJ says. What's this in-between space?

"Yeah, my Anti mentioned it once," Jackie says. "After he helped you guys out of whatever weird... timeline thing... you guys were stuck in. It's a completely black space except for sometimes there are green balls of light floating around--"

Schneep makes a choking sound in surprise. "I—That is—"

JJ blinks. Does that sound familiar to you?

"I-I went there once!" Schneep says in a hushed voice. "When my powers first started—I-I was disappearing and reappearing in many different spaces—a-and then I stopped somewhere, there was a strange man, he showed me an image of the place I was stuck in—he said something about it being like the space outside a video game level—"

Bro points eagerly, “That’s what it felt like exactly! I think… we also might have been in there in between jumps? I remember the green lights-“

Alt looks at Schneep with wide eyes, “Schneep- if you did that once m-maybe you could do it again! Then we can try to find Sam and- they can get you all home!”

"I—well. i-it was completely by accident," Schneep stammers. "I am not sure i-if I could do it again...? I—-I suppose I could... try. If this archway does not work."

Alt sighs but nods, “Of course- I get it… I have stuff I do all the time I have no idea how I did it… it couldn’t be that easy anyways. Not with our luck.”

Bro lightly hits Alt on the head, “Don’t be so pessimistic bro! We’re fixing the doorway- we’ll figure this out! Now here- weld these together will you?” He hands Alt a couple more pieces that fit together and Alt grumbles but starts to patch them back up.

It takes some time, but with some work, all the runes on the doorway are repaired. They flash with multicolored light as Alt welds the last piece into place.

Bro cheers and hovers a bit in the air as he pumps a fist, “See!! We did it!!”

"Whoo!" Jackie throws his fists in the air. "Fuck yeah!"

There are still a lot of pieces missing, but maybe it will function? JJ says.

"Ha! Only one way to find out." Schneep grins. "I cannot imagine anything so bad that we cannot take care of."

Alt steps back and looks at the doorway with a bit of awe and smiles a bit. He lightly touches the runes and looks at the doorway, “…do you think it could work now?”

“Only one way to find out!” Bro says.

Alt chuckles, but then his face falls, “wait… we… we need black magic to make it work-“

JJ blinks. Black magic... He looks down at his hands. I could... try...

"No, you shouldn't have to do that," Jackie insists. "There has to be some other way."

Alt nods, “Yeah it… w-we shouldn’t have to rely on it…” He does look troubled as he looks at the doorway. “But… m-maybe-“

“Did you really think it would be so easy~?” A voice giggles in their ears. Then, Glitch appears behind Bro’s shoulders, floating a bit with his glitches as he digs his nails in. “I knew you all were fucking liars- hiding my own blood from me!” He laughs madly and pulls up his hands- purple green strings typing up Bro and lifting him slightly into the air by them. He yells and tries to struggle. “But, you all were so daft to think I wouldn’t find you here~ I see e̷̟̾v̷͕̈e̶͎̅r̷͖̈y̷̯͘t̵̺̾h̵̙̆ị̶̔n̵͕̈́ǵ̷͉~̴!̸”

“No!” Alt cries out, glitching back with terrified eyes.

Bro fights as best as he can against the strings, “Let me go you motherfucker!!”

Jackie whirls around, extending his staff again. "Motherfucker! We took too long!"

"Well how were we supposed to go faster?!" Schneep also takes out his scissors. "What is happening?! He grabbed Chase?!"

"Yeah, with these fucking strings!" Jackie glares. "You don't even realize what you've done, do you?! The fucking irony of it all!"

“You got that grit in your ears? This was inevitable, friends~! I was just waiting to see if you could actually fix the doorway! And by some miracle you did~!” Glitch laughs madly. “Now, finally! I can take Chase with me and we can find a new universe to start over in!”

Bro fights more, “I’m not going anywhere with you! You ain’t my brother!”

JJ's mind whirls. They don't have time to talk to the Glitch! They have to act before he can do anything to Bro! He hesitates, then shoots out a wave of sharp magic, trying to cut the strings.

There’s the sharp angry sound of glitches that break Glitch apart for a second before his form starts to turn a bit red. He growls angrily- then the strings get cut.

Bro immediately lunges away.

“No!” Glitch snarls and then shoots a blast of magic at JJ, “Stay out of my way!”

JJ gets knocked backwards, doubling over as the magic hits him directly in the stomach.

"Leave them alone!" Jackie picks up one of the sharp obsidian shards on the ground and throws it at Glitch.

Glitch teleports out of the way with a wild laugh, “too slow!”

"New plan, we fucking break the doorway and find some other way to get out of here!" Schneep says.

Alt looks panicked at Schneep’s suggestion, “No we can’t! This is our only lead right now to get you home!”

“We can take this fucker-“ Bro growls, eyes glowing brightly with power.

Henny has been hiding in the back- in the shadows. When he sees an opening he yells and lunges out to grab onto the back of Glitch and try to pull him out of the air. “Leave them alone!”

“H-Hen?!” Glitch gasps, the tiniest bit of blue flickering in his eyes. Then he growls, trying to buck him off, “Get the fuck off of me!”

"If we are not doing that, then—" Schneep pauses. "Then—we get Glitch to do it, if you understand." His black magic—his glitch power—if they can somehow trick him into it—

JJ nods, catching on. Then would it need to be destroyed afterwards so Glitch cannot escape?

"Henrik!" Jackie shouts. He runs over, pausing. He was going to try and get Henny off, but actually—Instead, he jumps up and grabs Glitch's legs. "Get! Down here! So I can fight you!"

Jackie ends up pulling Glitch down with so much force he yells in surprise and nearly face plants. But he giggles and eyes Jackie with hungry eyes, “Oh you wanna fight again? Okay!” He lunges at Jackie with sparking claws.

Henny got pushed back in the rush to get at Jackie and he struggles to center himself.

Alt looks conflicted but he nods, “Okay… w-we can do that- how will we destroy it afterwards?”

Henny rushes over and pants, “I can destroy it! I can use my power to make it fall apart as soon as you leave.”

"That would work, then," Schneep says. "You must be careful, other me." He draws his scissors. "Now—we draw his attention!"

Henny nods, “I will be. Do not worry. …you all just must promise you stay safe and do not come back here.” 

Schneep nods, a determined look in his black-slcera'd eyes. "We promise." 

Jackie manages to let go and jump back in time to avoid the claws. "Jesus fuck! You don't even realize what you're doing, don't you?! You've become the monster you were afraid of!" He swings the staff at Glitch's head.

Glitch laughs wildly and catches the staff before it can hit him, using it to bring Jackie closer. “Yer dumb- you think that matters now? I fucking won that fucker is dead and I’m stronger than he ever was!” He giggles and pushes Jackie back by his staff while building up black magic fire in his hands. “I’m not Magnificent~ I’m something far greater and that’s why I’m on top! Like I was always meant to be!” He cackles loudly as he tries to blast the fire at Jackie.

Jackie's eyes widen and he barely ducks, the heat of the fire feeling all too familiar against his skin. He takes a deep breath, trying to recover from the familiar feelings that fire stirs inside him.

And then Schneep leaps over behind Glitch, driving the scissors downwards.

Glitch quickly turns around and dodges Schneep’s attach before blasting out fire towards him too. “Nice try~!”

Schneep yelps, the fire burning his arm. He leaps to the side, patting out the flames. JJ takes his place, throwing magic after Glitch but staying where he's standing off to the side.

Alt growls and glitches around, trying to create a distraction for Glitch.

Bro hurries over and kneels by Jackie, “You okay?”

"F-fine," Jackie says. He steadies himself. "Now—let's get this fucker!" He tries to sweep out Glitch's legs with his staff.

Bro grins and nods, trying to kick at Glitch’s stomach. Glitch glitches out the way though but ends up getting blasted back by JJ’s magic and is thrown through the air. He growls and then starts to spark with electricity. “You all are getting on my last fucking nerve!” He hisses.

Then, Glitch sends out a wave of electric magic to try to shock everyone and knock them away.

Jackie and Schneep fly through the air away from Glitch. Even JJ, as far as he is, gets knocked down. Schneep is the first to get to his feet, and he leaps over to help Jackie up. "We have to get his magic to the doorway somehow," he mutters. "That is the plan."

Henny and Bro get blown back, bro briefly hitting his head against a far back wall. Alt manages to glitch away and then yells as he tackles his other self to the floor. Glitch roars in anger, meeting eyes with his former self.

Alt snarls and bares his teeth at his copy. “…you need to stop this! Your Chase wouldn’t want you doing all of this!”

“You know fucking nothing!” Glitch hisses, “I’ve seen the light- who we were meant to be all along! Someone who’s not tethered to weak useless meat bags- Chase was the only exception- the only one worth fighting for! Now I’m stronger than anyone who ever hurt us! I could rule worlds- all the worlds! I could turn back time to make sure Chase never died! All I need is a way out-!”

“Fucking listen to yourself!” Alt interrupts, “You sound exactly like Mag! Doesn’t that make you angry?! In the end- he won! He made you what he always wanted us to be! This wasn’t a victory- this is a tragedy! One where the man who tortured us for years got the last laugh and corrupted you so much you killed the only family you had left and drove everyone else you love away! You didn’t win jack shit! And I- I’m never gonna let myself turn into you!”

There’s an intense beat of silence as Alt pants from his emotional outburst as Glitch stares up at him with wide eyes. Wide eyes that… actually look a bit scared.

Everyone stares at the two Alts. Jackie starts to raise his staff and run forward, but Schneep puts out an arm to stop him. "Think about it," Schneep says. "You have not won anything. If Magnificent could see you now, he would be so proud of what you've become. Is that what you want?" But even as he talks, he gets ready to leap out of the way with Jackie at the first sign of danger. JJ also gets up, magic at the ready.

Glitch seems to shiver at this, eyes wide and distant as he shakes his head. “No…” Then his eyes start to fill with purple as he screams out in anger, “N̴̼͠o̸̭̕!̶̗̽!” A wave of purple magic rockets out of him and it blasts Alt away with enough force that he hits his head against the wall and blacks out for a second, slumping towards the ground.  

Schneep was ready for this. As the magic approaches he leaps out of the way, dragging Jackie with him. JJ is not so lucky. He conjures up a shield but the magic blasts through it, knocking him back against the doorway.

“Alt!” Bro cries out as he hurries over to his side, hardly being thrown off by the magic at all.

Bro hurriedly tries to rouse Alt. “Alt buddy c’mon!! You can’t pass out on us now!!” Alt rocks a bit in his grip, a spot of blood on his head from the impact he took.

Meanwhile, Henny tried to protect himself with his magic- but the black magic touches his light magic and he screams in pain as it eats up his hand and puts purple cracks on his pocket watch. He clutches at his hand then falls back against the wall, slumping against it.

In the middle of the room, Glitch is curled up into a tight glitching ball, muttering madly, “no no no no! I’m not like him- I’m not! I’m better! I-I won! He couldn’t win he’s dead!! I… I… Mag isn’t here- I’m the one still around!! Chase wouldn’t- I- He… he…! No! Nonono-!” Electricity is crackling off him like a dangerous storm. The floor underneath him is cracking and breaking into code- reality around him is shattering. “I’m the one in control! It was meant to be me!! He’s nothing- I-I’m eternal!’”

JJ climbs to his feet, looking over at Henny in alarm. He takes a deep breath and—in a puff of blue smoke--appears next to him. I'm going to try and get rid of that magic, he says, and reaches out to take Henny's hand with the watch in it. He tries to tap into whatever power he used on the rooftop to cast a purification spell.

Henny blearily looks at JJ and nods, “p-please… Juwel…” 

JJ smiles at Henny gently. He concentrates. Come on, he’s done this before… and though it’s more difficult than expected, the black magic slowly drains away.

Henny sighs in relief as the magic starts to drain away. Once he’s recovered enough he pushes himself up and puts a hand on JJ’s shoulder, “thank you my friend… hurry to the doorway-“ 

JJ nods slowly. Be careful, he says. Keep yourself safe over anything, even breaking the doorway. And then he teleports back to the doorway, right by Jackie and Schneep.

"Do you think Chase would be proud of you now, Alt?!" Jackie shouts at Glitch. "Do you think he'll want to hear you say things like that? See you do things like this?!" As Jackie shouts, Schneep pulls him back until they're standing by the doorway--right in front of it in fact. "He wouldn't! If he's anything like our Chase, he wouldn't! And he'd say you weren't meant for this at all! He'd say you were meant to be a hero!"

“ S̷̯̓Ḥ̴̉Ú̸̧T̴̬̒ ̸̰̋Ṳ̶̚P̶̒!” Glitch screams at Jackie, curling up claws into his scalp. “Chase was blind- w-we all were! I was always meant to be this- It’s what I-I was made for! The universes told me so- this magic tells me so! Playing hero was a-a foolish dream! I… I- ngh-!” Glitch cries out in pain and curls up more, the magic eating away more at the fabric of the world.

“Yeah, and whose magic is that?!” Jackie shouts. “Who did it come from?! Magnificent right? I don’t think his fucking magic would tell the truth!”

“Black magic sucks you in!” Schneep says. “But it may not be too late for you to make your way out, Alt!”

“And I don’t believe that anyone was made for anything!” Jackie continues. “This is a fucking multiverse, man! Do you think the possibilities are so limited?!”

Glitch grits his teeth and screams, tears of blood falling from his eyes. “There’s so many-“ He pants, “So many versions of me who are this- the trends, the canon- we were made this way…! I-I can’t fight this- this was inevitable! A puppet master needs his toys…! I-I’m a higher being now- I’m a-above all these useless fucking emotions! Above t-this empathy- this sadness-!” 

Then he curls up more gripping over his heart as the magic blasts out even more, ripples of black magic washing over the doorway, lighting up the runes with purple light. “So why does this still h̴̠̀u̴̮͌ŕ̷̹ẗ̴͚́?” he wails almost like a frightened child, “Why does it still ache?! Make it stop- MAKE IT S̷̜̚Ť̸͍Ǫ̴̈P̸̢̍!̸̭͗!̸̀ͅ”

Bro watches Glitch break down with wide worried eyes, some part of his chest aching with him. He grips the still passed out Alt in his arms.

"My friends!" Schneep looks at Bro and Alt, reaching out towards them. "Here!"

"Try to make it stop all you want!" Jackie shouts. "But it hurts because it's real! It hurts because it mattered! If you bury that hurt, if you try to justify it away—well, don't count us responsible for who you become!"

“Shut up!! Shut up shut up S̶̳͑H̴̢̕Ū̷͇Ţ̴͠ ̸̳̏U̸͖̎P̷̮̓!̵̩̑!̶̮͒!̵̮̐” Glitch sobs hysterically, clawing at his skin, leaving claw marks down his face like tears. 

Bro looks conflicted. Then he looks down at Alt and whispers an apology to him before giving him a little zap to wake him up. Alt jolts then winces gripping at his head. Bro pushes him forward, “Go to the others! Careful not to glitch yet- I… I need to do something-“

Alt opens his mouth to argue, “Chase-“

“Please Anti- just… just trust me, okay?” Chase says, looking at his brother with a meaningful expression. Alt slowly softens then nods. “Be careful…” he then glitches across the room- away from the doorway and starts to make his way towards it.

Bro stands up, then starts to brave his way through the magic storm around Glitch.

"Chase what the fuck are you doing?!" Jackie gasps.

"Chase!" Schneep starts forward, reaching out. But Jackie grabs him, holding him back.

JJ looks back and forth between Bro and Alt before hurrying over to Alt, dragging him back to the other two.

Alt stumbles a bit but leans against JJ as he helps.

The magic shreds at Bro’s super suit and skin, pixels slashing at him and the glitches unstable to walk on. But he tries- this… this guy is a version of his brother! A version that lost him- and Chase promised he’d never let his brother feel alone again.

Glitch doesn’t even see him coming- so when he manages to break through and grab his bleeding cheeks, the glitch startles and shakily holds a hand against Bro’s. “C-Chase?”

Bro looks at this corrupted version of Alt with deep heartfelt sympathy. He hesitates then brings Glitch into a hug and holds him tight. “Don’t worry, Anti…” he whispers, “We’re going to make sure this doesn’t  happen to you in our world… we’re gonna try to fix the future. I’m so sorry this happened to you…”

Glitch is stiff in the hug, purple flickering in his eyes- a bit of blue seeping through. He shakily reaches up and then curls claws into Chase’s shirt. “Please, Chase… f-find a way to save me-“

“I will,” Chase promises. He then lets go and looks at Glitch sadly, “…but you gotta let us go. You have to let me go.”

Glitch chokes a bit and closes his eyes before shoving Bro towards the doorway. “…g-get out of here- go-! Before it… before I lose myself again-!”

Glitch looks at the others with determination burning in his green blue eyes. “…make sure this future- never happens!”

Jackie, Schneep, and JJ look at each other. There are some tears in JJ's eyes. "We will do everything we can," Schneep says to this Glitched Alt. "We promise."

"You fight as hard as you can, okay?!" Jackie says.

Glitch nods, “I… I’ll try.” He looks to Alt, “…k-keep him close, okay?”

Alt has tears in his eyes too as he nods, “I will.” He says, his voice breaking.

Glitch smiles, looking sincere. “…good.” He closes his eyes and breathes, gripping at his heart. Purple veins pulse and glow underneath. He looks at Henny and a tear falls from his eye. “…keep on watching over me, Hen, will you? Y-you’ve done a good job of it s-so far.” He laughs.

Henny blinks back tears and nods, “Until the very end, my friend.” Sahne crawls out from where she was hiding and presses up against him, whining slightly at Glitch.

Glitch smiles more, looking on the verge of more tears. He shudders as the purple veins on his face light up and cause him pain. “G-Go- hurry-!” He shouts at the others.

Henny holds out a hand to hold the doorway in his magic. Alt slams an electric filled hand against the doorway and then lets his body disperse into glitches and pixels. The runes hum loudly and fill with more light, the air becoming electric and an electric whine reaches a fever pitch of intense noise. A bubble of crackling magic caves in on the 5 boys then rockets out in an intense beam of magic and light.

Then, the boys are gone- hearing the collapse of stones before they fall into deep confusing darkness.

[bruinhilda]

I'm so tired.

My Dad has...let's call them serious medical issues. They don't threaten his life on the day-to-day, but they can when they suddenly flare up. He also has what I would call "inconvenient issues," such as weight and incontinence, that instantly cut off a lot of health and transport services.

I can't drive. I spent 10 years trying in my 20s. I'm so tired of having to explain this to people who can't comprehend an inability to drive. I have no other family living here who can help. I have one sister 2000 miles away with her own elder care issues, and that's it. I don't have close friends that I can just randomly impose on.

Dad's docs sent him to the ER today. A non-emergency ambulance ride was helpfully arranged. But the ER just discharged him after a few hours. "Treated and released."

He has no way to get home. It's Friday night, all of the transport companies that *could* handle his weight and lack of mobility refused. His usual service requires 24 hour notice, and doesn't take reservations after 5pm. The same ambulance service *will* bring him home...tomorrow afternoon.

He's stuck sitting in the ER. I can't get to him. I've been assured he'll get basic care, but I can't get confirmation that they'll, y'know, give him his meds, because they don't do that when you're discharged. The patient care coordinator is "looking into it." At least I had her help, because I honestly don't know where to even start. I've looked into transport services before and had absolutely no luck in even finding them, much less getting their service.

I'm constantly told by random "helpful" people about all these wonderful services that exist to make all of this easier, and to care for people like Dad. They INSIST there's help. But if you look into it, the services either flat don't exist, or they do, but they won't help YOU, because you don't qualify. You need too much assistance they can't help with. Or they only offer care that doesn't actually help your issue.

Sometimes you're told that you have to be "persistent." You have to keep badgering people and ignoring the no until they cave and help you. Which one, is utterly insane. And two, has never fucking worked for me. When I get emotional, I get *nothing*. People won't deal with me if I get too angry or upset. And they certainly won't explain how I'm supposed to do what they expect me to do to unlock the magic cheat codes that will solve all my problems.

You can't help but feel the cruelty of it all. How you don't fit into the overall fantasy everyone else lives in. How people just shrug and decide that you must not be doing enough, therefore it's all your fault you couldn't get help. Just learn to drive! How? I tried, it didn't work, what am I supposed to do to get past the repeated failure? Just do this, just do that. I don't know how. Nobody is going to show me the 'how', you're just supposed to magically figure it out. It's supposed to just work out, somehow. Oh, it didn't? Well, you fucked up. You shouldn't do that. Do it right, and things will be okay. Why can't you just do it right, why do you expect others to hold your hand and help you? You shouldn't need so much help! Oh, things got really bad, didn't they? Why didn't you ask for help?

I know we're not the only ones. There are people "slipping through the cracks" all the time. Often they die from it. I suspect I'll die from it when I'm older and more disabled, because I won't even have someone as bad as it like me fumbling to help me like I fumble to help my Dad.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some shocking acts of kindness in dark moments. People going above and beyond to help out a stranger, often without even being asked. There *are* people who do try to help. But those are individuals, and they *are* going above and beyond. Our society as a whole is cruel, it's set up to be cruel and unhelpful, and it's masked by the firm belief in the fantasy that help is always there for you if you need and deserve it. When it's not, you wake up to the lie. But nobody will actually believe you until they're up shit creek with you.

Thank you for reading my wail. But please, don't start suggesting I look for help from services you assume must be there, somewhere.

[itsu-saragi]

Devlog #6 - My Brain Hurts, but When Does it Not?

Good timezone! Sorry I'm late with the update, but the good news: we're so back. I've finally settled in and have resumed my work on this blasted project.

Writing

I reviewed my notes and decided to do another pass on the love interest character.

Ngl, he's really fucking hard to write. Usually, I can imagine how my characters act and speak pretty well, but this guy... this guy. I'm still struggling to get a grasp on him.

I wonder if it's because I'm creating him for a VN? Or maybe I'm just overthinking?

Actually, let's talk about this for a brief moment.

I'm someone who loves creating original characters. Just this past month, apart from this VN I made two other OCs for some DnD games, and that came easy. So in comparison, why has this LI-creating process been so hard for me?

Well first, it's worth noting that there's a specific method to creating characters in DnD. You pick your race, class, background, et cetra... And those selections in turn inform who your character may be. Does your character have the Soldier background and high intelligence, but low strength? Well, maybe you could interpret that as your character being a military strategist, but with little combat experience. Those rules allow for creativity within the limitations. On the other hand, I'm trying to create a character in my own homebrew world, plus there's no RPG system, so I have fewer constraints which can make my indecisive ass suffer.

Now that I think of it, it might not be a bad idea to try turning him into a DnD character...

I'm getting off track.

Anyway. Though I said there are fewer constraints when creating a VN character, I'm not totally correct there. It's just that I feel there's a different set of requirements that are more... challenging. At least to me.

You see, when I create characters I don't typically construct them with a greater purpose in mind. I just want to make them a cool little creature, and if there's an existing world or story I'll modify them so they make sense in the lore. I’ll add their shortcomings so that they have room to grow, but in a collaborative setting like DnD it’s not guaranteed that my character will go through their arc, nor do I know how that arc will play out, so it’s not my main focus.

But when creating this VN, I've realized that not only does this character need to be interesting and appealing, but I also need to give them a complete arc while simultaneously fitting the narrative and theme. And maybe more stuff I'm not aware of. These constraints aren't mechanical, they're more... structural.

I'm not sure if that's the right word. But it sure as hell made my head spin.

I don't know what the solution to this is other than keep drafting and iterating. Maybe it's turning them into DnD characters.

It's a fun challenge to think about though.

Programming

On another note, after weeks of dreaded avoidance, I finally cracked open RenPy again. And turns out it didn't suck, so yay?

I've added more scenes and choices in my prototype, which is satisfying to see when I run the code.

I think my next challenge is figuring out the scope and the UI. The scope can only be determined by working on the narrative outline so... I should probably prioritize that.

And on the days when my writing brain isn't working, I should tackle some of the UI. Hearing other devs talk about how annoying RenPy UI can be gets me a little nervous, but I guess it's time to find out for myself.

October Goals

Try to get this love interest character locked in holy shit

And if possible, figure out scope, if not try UI

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it.

[the-spoingus-show]

my current project: jump forever!

this is the first of those scheduled posts i mentioned earlier!!! i figured i would start by talking about my current project - that way i can start posting updates about it without confusing you, Michael. The next post is gonna be about the beginning of this whole Godot thing i've been on, and then i'm thinking about maybe doing a Before Godot post as a bonus once i've talked about all my godot stuff (i love saying this as if anybody cares (besides you, Michael)). setting all that aside, though: this one's gonna need some backstory, so you should buckle in.

around this time last year, me and my little cousin (he's still in high school, but we've always been pretty close) got really competitive about a little game called Jump Forever. it's a side minigame from WarioWare Mega Microgames (the GBA one) where you just jump over a little rope until you fuck up. it's really fucking fun as an addictive little mobile game, and with a quick lil emulator it was one. thus, the addiction began.

truth be told, the phase last year didn't even last that long, but i had a long bus ride a couple of weeks ago and found myself opening the GBA emulator on my phone to pass the time. that led to a little bit of playing at home, which led to beating my cousin's score, which led to getting even more into the game than i was before. as our scores get higher, we've turned to better controllers than a phone touch screen for serious record attempts - i use a ds lite i had lying around (that i reshelled! it was very fun) and he emulates on pc with a controller (i think). this got me thinking about a potential "definitive edition" of the game - probably still on mobile, but with controller support, better touch controls (the game only needs <-, ->, and A!), faster resets, selectable skins, and maybe even unlockable skins? of course, when i finished my work on fnaf (ooh foreshadowing), my sights were immediately set on a Jump Forever remake.

with all that said, welcome to the game as it currently stands! at the moment, i've got wario, the rope swingers, and the score all just about set up, with one exception; the characters have collision, the rope swings (at varying speeds, even!), and wario's speed and physics feel very accurate - but i'm still working on the ai (if you can call it that) of the rope guys as they walk back and forth. i want it to work exactly the same way as it does in the original but i always overthink random mechanics like this. hopefully the next update i give will be about how i cracked it! even if the implementation ends up jank, though, it wouldn't be the first: the rope guys check if wario is too close to them to make it over the rope with an Area2D that just checks for wario when the rope hits the ground. it works! i could just like check wario's position in the code (and it'd probably be way more efficient), but this way just... works.

i still have a buncha crap i still gotta implement before the game's even really playable - the walking ai, the title screen, the little "Ready?" animation, etc. - but that's only the beginning of my work. firstly, i'm probably gonna enlist chloe (oooh foreshadowing) to help me out by drawing some new assets (if she's free, it is finals season), and then changing the game's native resolution from 240x160 (the GBA screen) to something not fucking insane. i've got "reworking all the sprites into easy to read spritesheets" on my to-do list, and after that, making the new assets (and then maybe the skins?) will be as easy as drag & drop. once it's got the new assets and all the polish that needs to come with a shiny new resolution, i'm gonna transition into the next phase - researching how to release a game!!!

[hi, not to ruin my own amazing transition but: it's 5am and i'm running back to edit this because i completely forgot to mention that i have currently implemented a 2 frame input delay on all inputs, because that's how the emulator appears to behave when i go frame by frame. every single day i rethink this decision more and more. surely there's no way that's how it's supposed to be, right? but i feel so weird changing it now!!! i definitely fucking have to though. next time i work on it. ok anyways]

now. i've posted games to itch.io before. but even then, i kind of fucked it up (i could never get the resolution of my web games to work right???) - so it's no surprise i've always been completely daunted by the idea of "releasing a game". when you post it on real stores, that's when it becomes... real. i'm excited about the new challenges it'll pose, though! now, a mobile release means a couple of things - bite sized fun, simple progression, and fun customization. i've already got the first part nailed down, and i figured i could nail the other 2 at once with a currency system based on how many points you get (or maybe even an xp system? that goes up 1 for each jump? maybe even both???) and skins (purchasable with said currency) that let you customize the player, rope swingers, background, and maybe even the rope itself.

pictured above is my stupid ass skins mockup (i literally just made this). the rope is rainbow, the background has a snow effect and a bunch of snow on the trees/ground (isn't it great?), wario is a lil version of the rope guys, and the rope guys have santa hats. i'm not sure how many different ropes you could really make with how i'm planning the rope to move, so i'll probably end up prototyping the graphics with chloe to figure out how to lay out the sprite sheets, and if they should actually have a seperate hand-grabbing-the-rope sprite for skin purposes. it'll definitely make things really confusing, but if i go for a mobile release i don't want to run ads, and so a currency you can buy with real money (and maybe one or two goofy supporter skins that cost real money, like a solid gold guy or something, as a form of donation) is a good way to make a lil bit of money from people who like the game.

all of this is fun to think about, but it's important to remember that the next thing i have to do is that walking ai. i've gotta Make The Fucking Game before i can do all this crazy other bullshit. i'm sure the ui design for all this is gonna be soooo fun, but i need a game to attach it to first :p

this went on reeeally long but i figure if this is a dev diary or w/e it's gonna end up running long no matter what, and the more info, the more i have to look back on fondly and say "oh shit, i know exactly when this was!", which is kind of the end goal of the project. of course, these incredibly long posts about shit that only matters to me are also incredible content for you, Michael, so i'm sure you're just eating this shit up. enjoy, you weird little man.

[longbobmckenzie]

S6 Volume VIII Thoughts

Remind me why I was looking forward to Casa Amor? I'd almost rather be stuck in a villa for 4 days with Felix... almost. At least then I'd get to spend time with the person I like best and not have to deal with sister drama and all that shit.

The note. I said this once before, but... "Thanks for being you"?? Like I almost do hope it's from Elliot and not Roberto because that's so generic, like something a teacher or boss would say to you. Not a LOVE INTEREST. It sounds more like someone saying "We had a nice fling, can't wait to see you on the outside, but only as friends. Byeee gonna crack on with these new girls"

And then Grace saying she knows who sent it only to then say it's just a theory. Like, you cliffhangered the episode on that only to say "Well this is what I think..." Girl you had your chance to tell me in the bedroom that you thought it was from Elliot. And guess what. I don't give a damn about Elliot, and you should know that if you'd LISTENED TO A SINGLE FUCKING WORD I'VE EVER SAID. JUST LIKE YOU NEVER LISTENED ABOUT OZZY.

Excuse me, wow. Got heated for a moment there

Raunchy races... what?? What are these instructions? "Sportiest girl"? "Hottest girl"? "Horniest boy/girl"?? THAT'S NOT HOW THESE ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK!!! No wonder the Villa won if we had to go through everyone figuring out who fit the description! This was a bad way to start the volume

Amelia going for Marshall, once again, pisses me off. And it pisses me off even more because a) he's the hottest one there and after stringing us along with Ozzy, I was ready to give it all up for Marshall instead as a fuck you (well, not really - I still want Roberto. but I was gonna replay for him). b) WE GOT A DATE WITH HIM WHEN WE FIRST WENT INTO CASA!! WE GOT TO SHARE A BED! AND KISS HIM! AND THEN GO ON ANOTHER DATE! And then you hit us with "I like Amelia better"?!?! Bro.

I mean, I didn't even like Marshall anymore after his personality fell flatter than a pancake, but the moment Amelia showed interest in him, I was like, BACK OFF I WANT HIM. I just wanted to keep her from getting him. Now I can't even do that! But if they were gonna be hard-coded, why tease us with him at all?

And please, stop with the "talk to everyone about x thing" when we could just... talk to those people. And we all know Amelia would've told us anyway. But then them coming to us to "announce" that they're coupling up? Like... no. Amelia can come to me and tell me you kissed and that she wants to pick him. Marshall can come to me and tell me he's sorry but he prefers Amelia. Don't come to me together and make a big thing out of it like that so that everybody else sees and sticks their noses in it

I didn't toast them. Hamish said "Popcorn. Lol." For a moment, I liked Hamish

Speaking of Hamish, whyyy did they have to make him so icky??? Like, he could have just been a funny young boy that wasn't interested in us romantically, but nooo. And then Grace kissing him only to get the ick, only to admit she lied about Ozzy and might bring Hamish back?? Have some fucking self-respect, woman!

I got to fuck Andy at least. He's a sweet boy. If it weren't for me being upset about Marshall, I'd be happy to romance him. But I don't like that it's just him by default (because Francis... no)

Okay so Amelia almost drank during NHIE for the 'dated a celeb' question (again with the celeb obsession), looking awkwardly at MC. She also said she lied in the villa, but said it was about meeting Elliot before. But there's definitely more to the Zeph stuff, she's gotta be lying about how far they went. She's a snake.

I think that's everything? Whew, I need to calm down. I've been refreshing the app store hoping Romance Club would update a day early like they usually do, I need it!!

[piskelo10]

Perks of having ADHD:

(Inattentive, at least—though I'm one symptom away from being combined. Remember that this is just based off of my own experience.)

I used to hate when people would treat ADHD like it was a good thing, as I felt that it just inherently wasn't. I continue to struggle with my ADHD, and have for a pretty long time, but I used to see it like some horrible entity that just fucked me over constantly and made my life hell. But now, as I finally have started being able to work with my ADHD instead of trying and failing to force it into submission, it's become more like just... another part of who I am. A part I'm still frustrated with sometimes, but a part I can appreciate both the bad and good in. So here goes.

Being able to let go of emotions fairly quickly

↑ It's not necessarily a given, of course there's some things too stressful or upsetting to be ignored, especially if they're ongoing—but when it comes to things that simply sour my mood, I find it really easy to distract myself and let go of it.

Finding intense joy in fictional media

Hyperfixations can be really annoying sometimes, but a lot of the time they're just hella fun! I love that I can become so excited over something so inconsequential, and I can become so attached to characters and it brings me a lot more enjoyment out of certain content.

Being able to become deeply immersed in things

Maybe not everyone will be able to relate to this one, but I find that I can become very immersed or absorbed into things like shows, books, or games, and it just enhances my enjoyment of things, or intensifies the emotions/experience I have consuming them. I love being able to hone in on a good movie or book or whatever and just feel it so deeply. Also, it allows me to sort of willingly get sucked into my own thoughts and little inner-world when I get really bored, or just for fun.

Being easily able to occupy myself

Of course, this might seem a bit contradictory—and not everyone may be able to relate, and it's not like I'm never restlessly hoping for something to do—however, I find that due to both my ability to immerse myself in my thoughts, and my overactive imagination, I'm able to get well absorbed into fun little stories or ideas to help me keep myself entertained when there's nothing to do.

Further along that vein... it also helps to motivate me for certain things. It might not be beneficial to those who have trouble separating the real from the fictional, or who might not be able to tear themselves out of a certain mindset or put them in one as quickly, but sometimes I like to pretend that I'm a character of mine, or that I'm in some situation/environment that makes something much easier to tolerate.

If I'm having trouble staying occupied while I'm doing something boring, or just don't want to do it—I pretend that perhaps I'm cleaning because I'm hiding the evidence of a murder, and run through my whole backstory in my head.

Or if I'm having trouble simply getting out of bed or the car because I'm too tired—I'll pretend that I'm a character of mine who would, who's determined and has important things to do and people to impress.

And if I'm having trouble taking a shower, because it's too boring or I just don't want to have more things for me to do—I'll pretend that I'm getting in the shower with a love interest, sharing a romantic or intimate moment; or perhaps I could imagine that I'm some creature being born out of the swamp, discovering its surroundings and admiring the nature and pouring rain.

And of course, finally:

Overactive imagination/creativity

I don't really even need to give my reasons for this one as I feel I've already given plenty.

Generally, although there's a lot of things about ADHD that can still really bother me or impact me negatively, there's also a lot I find myself appreciating about it in small ways. For the first time in my life in a very long time, I've been figuring out how my brain works, (even if I haven't cracked the code for a lot of it just yet,) but already it's been helping me substantially. It feels good not seeing ADHD as an enemy, but more of just another aspect of myself I need to work with and discover more about. The things I've listed can also be incredibly unhelpful sometimes, but I wanted to talk about the ways that I can find some benefit to certain aspects of my ADHD that makes it feel a little less awful.