#i've considered deleting this post over the months because people keep finding it

[holopossums]

happy anniversary to this silly post of mine that exploded and made lots of people big mad about a fictional character's age when i was merely the funny little messenger, and suddenly made way too many people on the internet aware of my existence for comfort

so about that twitter q&a...

[cerenemuxse]

so i finally filled up my sketchbook that i started back in may of 2022 💥

since most of the doodles were TTTE related, i thought i'd share mine, starting from the very first one from july of 2022. it was the summer before my senior year of high school when i got into ttte. however, i didn't join the fandom until months later, around november. i say around because my first ttte post i deleted (it was a 2d model sheet i drew up of Edward but someone reblogged it so its definitely out there somewhere lul)

now, about 2.5 years later, im still in the fandom, enjoying ttte. i've met some amazing artists and writers, and while i dont speak as often with you as i would like, do know that im glad ive met every single one of you. i haven't had such a positive experience since my Sonic days and (somewhat left the fandom) Hermitcraft days, let alone a fixation stick around for so long like my Sonic fixation (2013 - 2020). we'll see how long ttte sticks as my fixation for but i have a feeling it will be for a long time, considering the people i've found myself with.

so as a bit of a commemoration and for the sake of seeing improvement, i'm sharing some sketches of the engines i've drawn over the years from that sketchbook, from the very first sketch to last page i just finished. :)

personal art notes below. feel free to skip! these are just observations of mine that i made from looking at these!

what was consistent: the recognizable art style. you can still tell that its my artwork, and i think it comes down to the eyes, depite the style of those changing the most.

i've gotten better at faces, especially different designs, but i still need to keep them consistent.

i still suck at perspective. this is why we use reference images.

say if i had joined the fandom just now, and this is my first post. i think you'd assume that edward is clearly the favorite lul.

there's some spoilers so i wont be commenting on anything about the designs, save for a few!

for images 7 and 8, i used highlighters and a red pen for coloring :D

i did rebecca early on and i hate that it happened. also the notes for her aren't relevant anymore! They're now based on 34102 Lapford.

character design notes:

image 6: Lexi is the LSWR T7 class. Theodore is the LSWR F9. For anyone curious, Merlin stays the same. Im not sure if I ever changed the specific engine he is. I remember talking about it but i can't find any info anywhere ;-;

image 7: Whiff is a GWR 3571 class. (not visual) Stanley was built by NWR in Crovan's Gate.

image 8: (not visual but affects his accent) Based on his number, Ryan was built in Scotland by the North British Company.

image 9: Rebecca is the rebuilt version of SR West Country class. Belle is a GWR 6100 (as originally planned for the TVS). Hank is a USATC S160.

[lafamilledelioncourt]

so.... yeah.... pinning this and heading out on an internet break. read for context if you want otherwise queue is full. see you boobs in a bit.

i feel like i want to turn on a vlog cam shane dawson style and just do a deep youtuber sigh. that seems to be the palpable vibe on this side of the mental break down, but whatever.

okay, the scoop and context. uh, mass deleted my ao3 work, right? douche move. i know. i was completely and utterly manic. few dozen terrible things happened at once, i don't currently and can't afford a therapist, and i just spiralled. i'm gonna bullet point some reasons, but there isn't a logical path to get you to understand my brain. but i'll try?

uh, got approved for life changing surgery that i desperately need after losing 150lb+ pounds. insurance won't cover it, yey american healthcare, and i have to find 20,000 us dollars. high key want to die from that one alone, but ya know, when it rains.

i'm an educator in the american south who teaches history. i'm queer, gender nonconforming, and surrounded by people who openly applaud the current coup happening in my country. my students are unsafe, i'm unsafe, and yet as the adult i'm having to fake for eight hours a day mental stablity despite the fact i want to hysterically sob in front of them. the current regime want to dissolve the DOE which will effect millions of students from k through 12 which is where i am. they want to install fascist mandates into our curriculum and eliminate truth to actively limit or destroy the perspective of people of color, indigenous communities, and LGBTQIA+ people. it's black history month, i teach in a majority t1 district, and we've been told to 'pipe down' if we have any concerns. kill me right now, please.

it just was my grandmother's birthday, who was my only healthy example of a parent, and she passed away over a year ago now. that triggered a horrific depressive episode because i am essentially alone with no family and no irl friends. the two people i do have have lives, one is leaving the fucking country to go play missionary in israel for months (including when i have to have said major surgery), and the other lives her own life with her own family thirty minutes away so i'm not a priority (nor should i be)

i have POTS, and the stress of all of the above is causing a flare up, and i keep actively blacking out when i stand up. i still have to be an adult and work, so i have to hide how bad this is getting so i don't lose said job and can afford to live in increasingly expensive and ridiculously unappealing conditions.

i'm autistic and have borderline, so i have very bad processing abilities when being vulnerable so that's how we get this vomit no emotion version here and then me hysterically crying everytime i dare to post a chapter of a fic i care about. the thing i loved most i essentially began associating with hurting me the most to the point where in the mental of an epic crash out last weekend i just blacked out and deleted it. oops. i seem to recall telling my best friend someting to the effect of i'm tired of begging for someone to love me. ????? HUh??? me @ me: dude what?

so yeah, no, all of the above considered, my best friend is coming to spend the weekend with me. i'm going to try and get myself back together, process some things, and try to form a game plan moving forward. i should note i genuinely do feel guilty for the way i handled things last weekend, but the returning logical side of my brain thinks that maybe crash out me was onto something. so for now, i'm staying off AO3 and not returning the series. i have 100k words drafted for part 2, i'm not abandoning it altogether, but i need to have a serious think over it.

i also genuinely don't think that series works in this fandom. even if it has origins in this fandom, the makeup of the fandom is primarily not really interested in what i was starting to lean into. i've been on tumblr since 2010, so i know very well ao3/tumblr want gay sex and the same au's retold in different supernatural or modern settings. and guess what? that's fine! i am a rabid consumer of said content. i just can't write it. i don't want to write it. what i want to write is not want the average audience member wants to read, and so i think i need to pull that material and find a way to turn it into something original. i have ideas how to do so, and so we'll see where that goes.

i am sorry if you did love the series. i do see you and love you and my heart is forever grateful for you. i somehow saved every comment and found the folder on my computer where i did. apparently manic blacked out me did that much to hold onto what mattered, so you can know that much. i have the series all on a google drive folder, and you are more than welcome to view it just message me. i'll happily give you the link. i may come back to it. who knows, maybe when i get my life together, maybe when season 3 comes out, idk. but i think i see something more coming out of it, and i would like to explore that once i take a long lengthy break.

i'm addicted to the internet and have no other outlet, so i will be back sooner than later i think, but i imagine i will be making some changes. i will fill the queue for now, and i'm available on discord @ mathairarrachtaigh if anyone wants it.

thanks again, and if you read this, idk man that's kind of wild and nice and confuses my ass, but thank you anyway.... and i'ma go play witcher 3 and dissociate.

xo, ash

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hey, just saw your ffnet post! While it's totally fair of you to not want to put your works on Ao3, I'd ask you to consider it. I've read a lot of fics, many that are years old, many that might be considered "cringey" or "bad", and many that had barely any views, and they all brought me joy. There's a special kind of grief I feel when I see that a fic has been taken down and deleted.

I do understand not wanting to upload this content as if it's what you're currently writing; Ao3 does allow you to backdate your works, so it wouldn't show up as recent but could have the original posting date. You could also consider setting up a pseud account on ao3, which allows it to be attached to your main but not explicitly your main, and have a note that this is a work that you're archiving from ffnet. It's kind of like having a sideblog on tumblr, except the links work better.

You don't need to decide right away; the "ffnet is going down" panic sweeps tumblr every few months and you likely have some time to figure out what you'd like to do. I just thought I'd reach out and share my thoughts. Your work is absolutely worth saving and sharing, in whatever capacity you're comfortable with, and I respect whatever decision you choose, but would also like to encourage you to be open to preserving your works for people to find and enjoy. You never know how much joy you could bring, even just to one person who finds your fics in the future.

Thanks for the message, I appreciate it and everything you've clarified here. Like seriously, thanks. I'm going to keep vomiting out words as I think "aloud", responding to what you've said, because you've helped me.

It's fascinating, because I am a hardcore preservationist who can't get rid of a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g to save my life. I'm similarly bummed when people delete even the most minor things online. And I have no sense of personal cringe. I'll always cherish what projects I've done.

You'd think this would be an easy decision given my values.

The challenge with me here is that publicly posting fics online is more about preserving for others as versus preserving for myself, and I'm trying to decide if I feel comfortable putting my stuff up again for other eyes in any capacity. I'm glad people have gotten joy out of my fics and it does help me think this over more, though I'll admit I've always felt out of sorts, nakedly exposed, having my writing online (even though I wrote and finished fics FOR that Sense Of Others, a sense of obligation and promise, rather than for myself). Ficwriters post about the excitement of getting notifications, whereas for me, it meant going through anxiety every time. XD (but thanks to everyone who wrote the kind words!!! they did make me happy once I got through opening the notification. your kindness is why I wrote. and I am touched when there's the rare comment from 2022 that pops through.)

I realize this frames the situation as more "me-centric" than "giving others joy-centric." I don't want to come off as dismissive of others finding joy, because that's important. The smallest things can be the brightest. My mind has just moved on so much from my fics that I think in terms of "How can I give someone joy today?" in new ways. But you are framing it in terms of people getting new joy. So. That's a good point to mull over.

I've never gotten an account on AO3, so I won't need to think about making the "sideblog"-esque account (though that's fascinating to know about!!! that's cool! you go AO3 for being awesome). But GOSH your response being thorough has been the bestest thing, because I've never known about the backdating, either. That makes it more likely I'd consider moving fics onto AO3, because even writing a "hey this is old" in front of a reupload onto a new site still puts it as "new" in the feed and that makes me uncomfortable. Just quietly shifting it to 2014 when it was written feels more fitting.

I was definitely wondering how this current sweep of "FFN going down" was different than the ramblings that have been going on for years. I've seen recent posts talking about how FFN might not have been updated for one or two years, and that's the most explicit I've gotten. I've recently seen some posts say "just in case," which is more of what I thought it'd logically be. I tend to not believe "FFN is going down" posts because they're just people hashing out what they've said for years, and I want better proof. They're right the site is falling, but yeah. But since these "ending" comments have been particularly widespread all at once, I figure, "Eh, only takes a few minutes, better safe than sorry." But it's good to know your impression of the situation is similar to mine, and that this isn't something I have to resolve anytime soon.

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

[myheartsims]

Check In Tag ✔️

I was tagged by @berryconfetti for this, thanks for the tag!

Why did you choose your url?

I've been using variations of MyHeart(Blank) since I was 12 and made my YouTube account so when I wanted to make a Sims blog I just took that thought process and ran with it.

Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them.

@myheartsstories - intended for me to post stories on, but it ended up being more 'Kim plays a challenge, takes screenshots and posts them over there' while MyHeartSims became more my cc finds blog

@myheartshistory - one I haven't posted on in a bit, but it was me making a story out of the History Challenge with Berry Sims

@berrygameplay - I'm one of the members of said blog

How long have you been on tumblr?

Uuuuh good question, I have no idea. I was on tumblr before I joined with a simblr blog but I didn't really keep track. I know I was still in high school when I joined though so probably about 10 years ago? And then I joined Simblr about a year, year and a half ago.

Do you have a queue tag?

On this blog I rarely queue and on MyHeartsStories and MyHeartsHistory everything is queued so no queue tag around

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started getting more and more involved in the Sims community and it felt weird doing that when I was fandom posting on my old account (I don't even use that account anymore) so I created a new blog just for Sims

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's my Simself with the colors behind it that I've used in my Tumblr theme

Why did you choose your header?

I choose this banner because it's the first build I ever felt proud of. It's a recreation of the castle/lake in Princess and the Swan Lake (the animated movie) with Odette and Prince Derek in the front. I absolutely loved recreating it and I think it fits me too, as I love fairy tales haha. I also didn't want the same banner as I used on my other side blog (MyHeartsHistory doesn't even have a banner)

What’s your post with the most notes?

I think it's the post for when I fixed either the Luumia default skin or the Waterlillies default skin when those broke (before the creators fixed them themselves, which happened several months later I believe), but part of those notes were already on the post as I reblogged the original posts... (Funnily enough people still download my fixes when the original creators have also posted fixes at this point). For an original post, I'm not sure, probably my Swan Lake Castle build download.

How many mutuals do you have?

I don't really know quite frankly. I know of a few, as they're people I'd consider friends from discord, but that's probably not all of them

How many followers do you have?

Ehh not that many and I don't really mind either. I think it's nearing 200 followers? But there may be some bots in there as well. I try to delete those when I notice them but I don't really pay attention. I'm not super active on here anyway and mostly use it to reblog cc I want to find back later

How many people do you follow?

Just over 200, mostly Sims blogs that post cc and people's who's stories I like!

Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don't even know what qualifies as a shitpost haha

How often do you use tumblr each day?

I check pretty regulary each day, as long as I'm home. Barely use the app so I do have to be on my laptop to check

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I don't think I've had a fight on here before?

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I thankfully, somehow, don't see too many of those, and I don't think I've really ever reblogged any of them. I just ignore them

Do you like tag games?

Depends on the specific tag game. I rarely get tagged in them anyway haha

Do you like ask games?

I like getting asks with questions so I sometimes reblog them and I do try to send people asks when I see they've reblogged it, but I rarely actually then get asks so

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

What counts as Tumblr famous? I don't really know haha

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope

Tagging @nynsimmer, @simhurricane, @sweetlysimss and @frolickinggnomes, but y'all should only do this if you actually want to do it!

[pr]

between bisluthq and the swiftgron patreon podcast idk anyone else that has monetized their hot takes. BUT what I find really interesting is both of them starting to push the "Toe is real" narrative around the same time which makes me feel like they either got contacted or are involved with Taylor's team and are doing it on purpose. There's no room to discuss the possibility of Joe being a beard anywhere publicly anymore because people get attacked no matter which Gaylor pairing is discussed, and tbh it feels like a giant narrative/PR push from higher up than just normal fandom talk since it ramped up so suddenly. I've only been following this fandom for a few months (like 3 i think) and in that time I saw the number of people joining in slowly increase, until it skyrocketed around the Fearless announcement (specifically talking about the GaylorSwift subreddit getting new mods a couple of weeks prior to that, and then the number of followers for that sub going from 1.5k to over 2k in the month since - in fact, over 100 people have joined it in the past 5 days alone) but talks of Gaylor are getting seriously buried and suppressed from people attacking those that comment to posts and comments getting straight up deleted (and a lot of the people doing the attacking are relatively new accounts, and we know of fake accounts being used by Taylor's PR team already). Interestingly, the monetization of the first blog I mentioned also happened around the same time as all of this, while the patreon podcast had been going on since before I joined the fandom. What I'm trying to say is, everything smells way too fishy for me and it's highly suspicious.

I'm only posting this because my guy

I own the r/GaylorSwift subreddit

and we are absolutely not silencing the Toe not being real narrative lol. Like I literally just made three flairs - Toe disbelief, Toe plausibility, and Toe neutral discussion - because we are sick to death of watching each side tear at each other's throats each and every time. Everyone has a space to discuss their theories without being harassed!

Also I'm still hiring mods lol, the amount of shit we have to keep up with is shockingly insane. You should see the names we get called in Modmail just because we're doing our jobs. Ugh. So yeah that's why there's been a massive mod increase.

In addition to that, I am a public relations student and when we do social media audits, Tumblr is not a social media platform we even consider when laying out objectives and goals for our clients. Taylor's not even on here anymore (and for good reason), so why would they have any investment financially or strategically in what the like 500 of us Gaylors do? There is no way in hell anyone on here is connected to Taylor's team.

If it was gonna be anyone it would be ME, yes I am putting myself out there hi @tree-paine if you are on here, I graduate with a BA in PR in December and would love to discuss how we can monetize the Tumblr Gaylor fandom and push a Toe legitimacy campaign that increases engagement with Joe's social media profiles by 5% each month and by the end of Q4 in 2022 will completely eliminate us Unhingeds entirely, I'll send you my resume toodaloo~

[sparklinpixiedust]

Basic Training

This post has been sitting in my drafts for months now, during which I've come up with a few ways I wanted to write this post. This is what I've come up with.

Basic Training is the episode which made me hate Ben the most. The whole episode consisted him of being a stuck up brat only to be rewarded for it in the end.

This episode was the perfect opportunity to have Kevin in the spotlight and show how skilled and smart he is.

Gwen's presence in this episode was actually fine, there's no change needed for that.

Look, I know the shows named Ben 10 but we have seen Ben be the hero tons of times already.

And Ben being egoistic about his heroism is not something new in the franchise.

There have been episodes on the OS where Ben got a big head, yet I dont ever see anyone complaining about that.

Was is it because he was 10 that we excuse this behaviour? Nope.

15 - 16 is still pretty young and his attitude can be excused at this age as well.

My opinion? It was handled better in the OS.

There were times when Ben wasn't always the main focus.

In Lucky Girl, Ben has his ' who's your hero?' Moment.

They showed Gwen feeling jealous and hurt by the fact she wasn't noticed much.

It was realistic.

Then the epsiode proceeded to focus on Gwen , having Ben being kind of like a sub plot to the story.

Towards the end Ben compliments her.

So yeah Ben got big head, but at the same time they shifted focus so that the audience wouldn't find it annoying.

Gwen was in the spotlight for a bit, giving people a break from Ben.

Secondly  , in Be Afraid Of The Dark, Ben again is shown to be slightly stuck up, but towards the end of that episode he learns and acknowledges Gwen and Grandpa for help and understands his crime fighting is more of a team effort.

In Galactic Enforcers, we are shown there are other heros besides Ben as well.

Ben wasn't the sole focus of that episode. Yes it was about him but also about the Galactic Enforcers.

I don't think he was shown to be over confident here , but it was nice to see some other heros in the scene.

The Ben 10,000 episode focuses on how Ben was too focused on his job and the lesson at that was Ben needed to relax and have them Galactic Enforcers take the lead instead.

Again , his attitude towards everything was brought in focus but towards the end he learnt something.

I recently started watching Generator Rex and I can't help but compare Rex's character to Ben's.

Rex is also proud , rushes into things and considers himself to be a hotshot. But they also show him being down ,having trouble with his nanites and actually voice out his insecurities.

He's still the hero, still has things go his way most times but it's not annoying like Ben.

( I've only seen like 7 episodes so far so I don't know if this going to go down hil or not but so far so good)

The issue with the sequels after the OS was that Ben was the focus a bit too much.

We as the audience were rarely ever given a break from him.

Other than a few conversations here and there about his attitude,  nothing really was done about it.

Gwen should've been appreciated more for saving Kevin and Kevin should've been appreciated for stopping Aggregor.

But they weren't.

If it had been Ben , they would've made sure to show him getting some sort of recognition or trophy.

Back to the Basic Training episode.

We know he's the legendary Ben Tennyson, we know he's a hero. We didn't need another episode on it.

Instead the plot should've focused on Kevin. His skills, his abilities.

Ben would act the same but Magsiter Hulka should've put some sort of cover so Ben couldn't use the omnitrix.

Ben goes on breaking rules,  and having a hard time being a hero without the watch.

Towards the end, it should've been Kevin who cracks the case and saves Hulka. Ben is mad he can't use the omnitrix but instead uses the guns and other weapons he's learnt to use at the academy

He's not amazing at them , but it makes him realise that he is hero , watch or not, something that has been emphasised in the show. Its not impossible for him to function without the watch.

Towards the end, Ben getting a 95 was a stretch. I'm sorry , but the guy wasn't great with using weapons and without the watch I dont think he would've been able to complete that hostage excercise.

I'm thinking more like 89%.

Gwen gets 98, that's fine and Kevin gets a 100.

Hulka comes in and awards the medal (?) to Kevin, suggesting he's becoming more like his father.

( im ignoring the ret con, plus the retcon I'm assuming wasnt thought off at this point by the writers)

Ben is shown to take one of the guns back to earth, because he thinks they're cool and he wants to practice and get better at them.

The whole hostage situation makes him want to get better at making strategies.

Yes he's good at improv, but he needs to learn to properly plan as well.

It doesn't matter if he's never shown to use the gun ever again, and he's back to relying on the omnitrix.

Or maybe some time down the line, he could use the weapon, even if it for a second, to show that he is improving and getting better.

Before you say 'he's already a hero, he doesn't need to learn anything ' sorry but no.

He's 16. He may have saved the world but he still has growing up to do. Different battles are going to arise all the time.

Saying he is perfect at 16 is dumb. Saying he's perfect when he's ben 10k , it'll make some sense. He's been around for a while and is pretty experienced.

The watch is a part of him, but seeing him try to explore other options would've been a fresher idea.

Another scene that made me mad was the court (?) scene in Vreedle, Vreedle.

Ben being a hero shouldn't make him above the law.

Domstol ruling in favor of Ben just because he's the legendry Ben Tennyson was stupid.

After Ben's little monologue , and destroying Domstols desk, the judge should've just informed him that being a hero does not excuse him from following the law.

Kevin could've had his little moment doing some negotiation ( would've been nice to see how he works as con artist) and Ben could've jumped in and helped while making some good points for the argument, showing us he's not stupid.

Then having Domstol rule in their favor would've made sense.

On the way back to earth there could've been a joke about how Ben watches Judge Judy too much which is where he learnt about trials and stuff. Or maybe Gwens dad taught him a thing or two at some point.

All this doesn't mess with Ben's character all that much, he's still the hero of the show, he still has his ego but it makes him more likeable, shifts focus from his attitude, and shows us he's pretty smart and is growing into a good hero.

Ben's not a bad guy. I mean he is the hero of the show. There are tons of scenes which show he's good , like the whole sacrificing thing so the ultimates could live and all.

But little scenes here and there tend to be enough for someone , especially for someone who isn't a super hard-core Ben lover to form negative opinions on him.

Although calling him a psychopath / narc is out of line because I don't find him to be like that. His attitude was magnified by him being in the spotlight too much and writers not having a good balance in writing situations.

Ben being the main character of the show is at risk of becoming hated or less appreciated just because he's the font runner of the show.

Admit it, side characters tend to get more love most times than the main agonist of shows.

I've been watching videos on YouTube on this topic as to why this happens , and what I've come up with is that writers of shows tend to focus too much on main character. Things seem to go their way most times and this tends to get on peoples nerves, consciously or subconsciously because it's not exactly realistic.

Having shows where everything focuses on one person most times tend to backfire.

I don't mind Ben having a big head, I dont mind him making jokes and being so casual.

It's his defense mechanism to protect himself from drowning into the struggles and pressures of being a hero. But always having him be that way isn't good.

The writers should've executed it properly.

( okay this post got really long,  more than I thought it would. If you're read the whole things , congratulations on making it here lol.

I'm not going to stop anyone from replying to this because everyone has different opinions and we all have the freedom to express them.

Although I believe I've made my point and I've made sure to keep in mind all the arguments about why bashing Ben is wrong when he's not a bad guy while typing this out.

I don't think I've directed any major hate towards him , its mostly towards the writers for making the situations like that,but if you think I have you can reply to it.

I'm not gonna reply back though , because again I feel I've made my point.

Any agreements / disagreements you have with the post feel free to share because it is your right.

Any disagreements you have with other members,  as long as its related to the post you can share it.

Any issues you have personally with other members,  please keep them to your selves.

I will not tolerate bullying , harassing,  name calling and petty arguments on my post and blog page.

If this happens I will simply delete this post and re-upload it.)

[holidaywishes]

Let’s Catch Up...

I've spent another month on dating apps and the results are... pretty damn similar. I kept going with conversations I had started before the start of June and did a week of solely swiping right to see how many matches I would get. It was a long week, that happened to wind up being the last week of the month (save a few days) but the general outcome was that Tinder and Badoo were the successes. At least in terms of numbers.

Here's the breakdown:

Badoo

For the entirety of the month, I had one date from here - it had been rescheduled once and we had a mix-up of where we were supposed to meet. I gave my number to one guy who I had been talking to at the start of this whole experiment but he's proven to be.. elusive to say the least.

To be honest, I still don’t think this app is for me. Even if I did get a date from here who seemed to be a decent guy. The fact is, dating at my age only garners attention from people at the top of the age range, at least for me (I know that won’t be the same for everyone but it was my experience.) I didn’t really keep a good record after day one, but from what I can gather of all my notes -- yes, I took notes, -- is that I matched with an average of 4.86 guys on Badoo for the whole week. That number would probably be lower if I only averaged the number of conversations I started or the dates I went on.

Bumble

What the hell is going on with the guys on Bumble? I was supposed to have a date yesterday with a guy from the app but he wouldn't communicate with me clearly so I accidentally stood him up and now he hasn't responded to me since I told him I wouldn't ditch my mom to talk to him on the phone for an hour.

I’ve always had a bit of an issue with Bumble. I’m not one for talking first, because I don’t know what the best icebreaker is and no one wants to respond to “hey.” So, like I said, I didn’t really keep track but from what I could tell, my average was 7.36 but I often forget about matches on there and they expire. That number is probably much higher lol.

Hinge

I did have a date from Hinge during this week of swiping right on everyone -- or in Hinge's case, liking everyone -- but it had just been scheduled that way. We had matched even before I started the experiment but the conversations were always a bit weird and I could never tell why. He's a nice guy but he's more a friend than someone I could see myself dating. As for the app, I never got any new matches. No new likes. Nothing...

That being said, the matches on this app were the easiest to keep track of... because there was nothing to track. I only had one date so when I added him into my average, I got a whopping 0.25 matches! It’s a weird app and I don’t think that it’s for me either. I wanted it to work because I think that it has the ability to form genuine connections in people, however, you have to match with people in order for those connections to start and for me, it just doesn’t seem to be happening.

Tinder

So, Tinder was a bit of a surprise to me. It's a numbers game honestly. It's the app that everyone knows or heard about first so everyone and their dog is on it. But, because it's a dating app, you never really know what you're gonna get. I think I have a very specific type, physically, which I like to say is "guys who are way too out of my league" i.e. the tall, handsome, athletic guys I could never ever get. None of the guys I had conversations with on Tinder during the last week was my type. One of the guys I matched with was so my type that I was trying so hard to play it cool but he just never initiated a conversation so he's just like sitting in my list and I'm trying desperately not to give into him.

Tinder had a lot going on during this week-long experiment. The tally was all over the place, averaging 51.63 matches, but that’s not a typical thing for me on these apps. Because of how specific my taste is, I typically unmatch with a lot of the guys who match with me on Tinder and then I’m left with maybe 10 guys with who I might consider continuing a conversation. Out of this average, I’ve only kept having conversations with 2 guys, setting up 1 date for Friday and a possible date with the other in like a week when he gets back from camping. I think I’ve started to sabotage both of them because I just.. don’t know how to do the dating thing.

Unfortunately, I’ll probably keep using Tinder. Even though I hate it. Even though the guys are often creepy. Even though I don’t match with my “type.” Even though it likes to play these games ("vibes,” “hot takes,” “swipe night,” etc.”) The fact is, it has the most options. If the conversation doesn’t work, or the vibe doesn’t work, unmatching is easy but Tinder has the majority of people to match with because it’s such a common app. Most of the time, It’s a blow to my ego but every now and then, someone cute comes along and boosts the ego a bit. If only for a minute.

In conclusion:

It’s like a freakin’ essay up in this bitch. I wish I could’ve written all my essays as Tumblr posts -- they would’ve been far more entertaining -- but I digress.

If anything, this whole thing is an experiment in sexuality and how comfortable I could be in my own body. I wanted it to be about finding someone I had a genuine connection with and who I felt like I could tell my truth to without being judged but in the end, I did feel extremely judged.

But not about sex.

Most guys were curious why I was still a virgin but it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it was going to be. There were guys who made me feel like I should feel free to explore my body and my sexuality and they made me feel beautiful; even if it was in the form of innuendos and double entendre's.

No, no. When they found out I had never been in a relationship before, suddenly nothing made sense and they had all these questions and they felt pressured even though I told them that I had no expectations. The more times that I got asked "why have you never been in a relationship?" the more I wanted to delete the apps, curl up in my skin and die.

If I knew why I've never been in a relationship, then I would have been in a relationship by now...

It just felt so humiliating to keep explaining it over and over again and I couldn't believe this is where everyone was going to focus on. That being said, the guys who didn't focus on my relationship status or my virginity, more or less ghosted me and I was doing everything in my power not to double message them. I finally understand why people go after people who treat them like sh*t. Like, yes, I'm getting attention from other people but I'm not getting your attention and it's confusing the hell outta me. Look, if I'm being honest, I know that everyone's experiences are different and everyone is looking for something different on different apps. I am one of these people who have a very specific type and it's hard for me to get past that, even when I do match with perfectly nice guys outside of my preferences. I think there's part of me that knows I'll never end up with a guy who's my "type" so I don't try as hard or I sabotage things too quickly but I think there's another part of me that thinks "fuck it. If I match with this guy and the conversation doesn't go anywhere, then oh well."

So, is it my mindset that's the problem? Are my standards too high? or does my lack of self-esteem come through in conversation?

It's probably all three but I know what kind of a person I am. I know that I care too much, I know that I'm kind, I know that I'm a bubbly person and I know that, in time, I'll find someone who matches my energy and what I want out of this. The bottom line is this: dating apps are fine and they work for some people but dating, in general, is hard.

So... that's my little dating journey. It was a bit of an ego boost and a truly wild ride and I don't really know where to go from here...

[roseymoseyberry]

Hey.. I need your help. So I've been writing fic for awhile now but have never posted them online until recently. And i got positive feedbacks right which made me love writing even more. My readers are all so nice and they're patiently waiting for updates which i had written halfway. Anyway life kept me busy for awhile buT now i can't get back into fics.. Rereading my fic i only see flaws and now with each new comment i received i just get overwhelmed. Kinda wanna delete my ao3.. What do i do

I’m so sorry it took my a couple days to get back to you anon. Life has been... well, life, lmao.

But ok, listen. I absolutely feel you. I went through a writer’s block as recently as this past summer/early fall for... I want to say two or three months at least? It was rough. I hated reading over my own stuff because it all just read as terrible to me, the pace rushed and dialogue bad, etc etc etc. (and lord almighty, don’t get me STARTED on how I felt when I realized I was abandoning a fic from an old fandom oops)

It’s hard to get out of that. And ultimately every writer is a little different, so I can only tell you how I get out of ruts.

Before we get to how to start writing again though, I want to say that if you’re overwhelmed by the stress of thinking of reader’s waiting for more? Officially put the fic on Hiatus. Edit your summary to say “This fic is on Hiatus” so that you know that anyone reading it knows it could be a very, very long time, if ever. I have only really needed to do that once, but found it helped to take the pressure off. If you receive email notifications for comments, maybe turn those off for a while. Come back to them later.

Ok, and now. My big, fancy, all important advice:

For me, the number 1 objective is to force yourself to get words down on the page. To get yourself writing again, you need to fucking write.

There’s a couple different strategies I’ve try when I’m stuck.

One of the first is to reread the story I want to work on. That usually works if it’s the kind of block that isn’t about hating my writing so much as just staring at the page and not knowing how to word. In your case and with that specific kind of feeling though, it may not be so relevant because yeah. Right now your writing feels like shit to you. So this is something to consider for future blocks.

The next thing I’ll usually do is just. Brute force it. I force myself to write a sentence, and won’t let myself delete it. And I’ll keep forcing myself to write until I’ve got at least a paragraph or two. It’ll be slow, and it will be painful, and it will feel like I’m writing the worst writing in the world. Just absolute garbage.

But a paragraph or two will eventually roll over into more, and usually when I reread over it later I’ll realize it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had felt like it was at the time. And the most important thing is I’m getting back into the flow of the fic. Often from that point the rest just falls back into place.

Brute forcing it by yourself can be tricky though. If you’re not sure how to get yourself to do that, look into some writing tools to motivate you to just get down words as fast as you can! A couple suggestions I have are:

Word Sprints: This website is just one way to do this particular exercise, but I found it super helpful in the past! Word sprint/word wars/speed runs/etc are basically a game-like situation where you and other writers have a set amount of time to write as many words as you can. The Word Sprints website has 25 minute spans with 5 minute breaks, and you can either join the global one (which I don’t recommend lmao) or you can make your own group and invite other writers to it. This specific site allows you to see how many words the other folks in the group have written in real time, so it can help motivate through fun competition if that’s something that appeals to you.

You don’t have to be constrained by the site though. I’m part of a TF fan content creators discord where folks sometimes just run our own, usually with more like just 10 or 15 minute long sprints and then everyone shares how many words they wrote at the end of the sprint. It can be a really nice way to change the focus away from the quality of the words your putting down to the quantity. Because listen -- you can always go back and edit lower quality writing, but you can’t do anything with no writing to work with at all, you feel?

(If you happen to be in the TF fandom and feel comfortable messaging me off anon, feel free to do so and I’ll definitely send you an invite to the discord. It’s really nice to have a space to talk with other writers and problem solve with folks who know the pain, haha)

Fighter’s Block: If something that involves other people doesn’t appeal, no worries! This web app is basically a simple little rpg style game. You put in a word count that you want to reach (so maybe something as little as 100 or 200 words) and then you go into a fight. In this case you’re motivated to write fast because your health goes down while you’re idle, and the enemy’s health is your word count, so you defeat them by reaching your word count. It’s a fun little game and is a great alternative to word sprints.

I know there’s other similar sites, so don’t be afraid to search for a tool that fits you.

Another way you might be able to get words out is by abandoning where you left off for now and writing another scene that you’re excited about. I personally don’t do this because I have to write in order -- I just have to!!!! -- but I know a LOT of writers who bounce around and then knit the scenes together.

Or really, just mix it up in general. Do you always write at home? Try taking your laptop to a coffee shop for the express purpose of writing. That’s something I do a LOT. Always write on a computer? Try writing on your phone. I’ve even seen a post going around about changing your font to comic sans and that helping! Shake things up. Try something new. You might find something that works better for you!

Mmmmm I think that’s about all the advice I have personally since those are my go to’s. But keep in mind it’s not the end of the world if that doesn’t work for you -- all writers are different!! If I’ve learned anything from talking to other writers, it’s that we all have different ways we do it, different tools and formats and styles and all of it.

And ultimately? Don’t forget that fanfiction is about self-indulgence. It’s about you! If it’s stressing you out way too much, take a break. Put that shit on hiatus. Turn off notifications from ao3. Leave it alone for a while. You do you. Ultimately, while it may feel cruel, you don’t owe your readers anything. You’re doing this hobby because you like to, and you shared it with them by choice.

If the need is strong enough that you want to delete, look into orphaning your works. That way it’s no longer connected to you in any way, but it’s still available to readers.

I wish you only the best, Anon, and can only hope I was of any help at all, haha

[hongsside]

temporary closing + hiatus + rant

-

hello hello!

its misty, i want to get straight to the case so... here.

: : t a b l e ☻f c☺n t e n t s : :

- closing

º hiatus

- rant

closing

--------

so, after a couple of months and progressing through a couple of works and on top of that drafts/drabbles, i have felt bored as well as stressed and just sick of certain things that i'm sure various writers might have experienced at some point (i will be going into detail in the rant part of this post). therefore, i felt as if this account is rather dead and at first i just wanted to experiment with other platforms for my works and this just barely made the cut; later was that i felt that same way as many different writers on my dashboard that have considered deactivating their blogs because of lack of interaction and feedback. this doesn't mean i have decided to deactivate and delete this blog completely; however it does imply that it could become a future possibility. i have decided that it is for the best to temporarily close this account, in a way in which i will not post at all only check interactions, copy my drafts, and check messages. thankfully, i am active on my twitter and still post some taekook aus on there but not regularly (as expected). the blog will close april 9th.

hiatus

--------

tw: loved one death

as we all know well by now, i am fantastic at going on hiatus and here we are again. i've been on semi-hiatus for about a month and i'm currently in the middle of exams, 9 regular classes, as well as instrument lessons, and unfortunately recently my grandfather has passed away from covid. which i may add, my other [step] grandfather who caused my entire family to get covid but we also own up to it on our behalf for having a gathering, although small, during the climax of the pandemic. so with all this stress and work as well as my personal family problems and repetition with struggling with my mental health i find it incredibly difficult to continue to write, im sorry for that. along with the closing of this blog, i'm going to go on a full hiatus for these next few days until the closing of the blog and maintaining it that way for as long as needed (until end of blog closing approx.). also, please appreciate your writers. which leads me to my next point.

rant

--------

this past of this post is not related to the closing and hiatus but i'd still appreciate if you would read it. i believe i saw some writer writing about this exact same topic earlier in the year cus one particular moot i really liked reblogged it and i didn't completely relate with what they meant at that time but now as someone who has started to take their writing more seriously, i fully understood why they were outraged by ghost reading and lack of interactions. first, people need to understand that writers work their ASSES off to write the stories you love. seeing people read your work and just simply like it, without giving you any comment or ideas of what they think, or how they feel about, or how the writer can improve is really stressful and just completely useless to a writer. why? because without feedback, a writer can't grow (and can't please their audience for the most part). which is why i'm here to rant. it doesn't take a day to type a short comment on how the story was, in fact, it only takes a few seconds out of your day to help someone progress. this leads to writers permanently closing their accounts because of ghost reading, and what enrages us [writers] more is how the second a writer mentions how they feel like their interactions are low, no one likes their work, and they are considering closing their account everyone rushes to their asks or starts leaving comments in attempt to persuade them to stay when they should have already been trying to appreciate their writer. now, i understand being shy and not wanting to bother a writer but think of it like this:

a stressed writer has 3 ongoing works and they get rather very little interactions, although you are shy you leave a simple comment "loved the update !!💗 " and that on its own shows, how even with the stress the writer has written a good story someone likes.

i understand being afraid a writer might get upset because you are bothering them with a simply notification, but there is no need because most of the time the writer wants to hear their audience and it helps them remain positive. i hate to sound desperate for interactions, but this is not the case since, i and many other writers feel that we need and deserve to be told what you think of the work, whether good or constructive criticism it is still appreciated.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, on the behalf of all writers, unless they have asked to not be giving feedback; PLEASE, give us your thoughts on our works, it keeps us from loosing motivation and continue writing works YOU love. <33

anddddddd no outro, but you can see me yelling and dying over whatever in the tags sooo... also here's my masterlist!!!

[cstradetips]

Hi, this isn't trade related but can you please help me out? I need help hiding my CS account from an irl sibling. Long story short, I'm openly gay online but closeted irl, & they're not supportive so I can't risk them finding out or telling anyone else. Right now theyre COPPA but in 2 months theyre not. I've changed my username & deleted all my Garys Army posts, but I think they friend'ed me so they can still identify me. I don't know what else I can do...

This is a really tough situation - as someone who grew up gay in a not very accepting community I 100% understand the need to keep things separate and to take the time to ease into things. I will say just from the standpoint of someone now out in my twenties… eventually, someday, you’re going to have to kinda make a decision and drop the double life. And maybe it doesn’t have to be for a long long time. It can be well after you’ve moved out - but I just wanna poke my little bit of encouragement in that hiding things can be super stressful but someday you’re gonna be able to break out of that. Just hang in there and hold onto that support system!

Knowing that they’ve friended you might make things more challenging - do they still expect you to continue playing? I mean - if they’re still expecting you to play with and interact with them it might not work out exactly. I absolutely support the idea of you having CS as your safe space - but yeah this is a tough one. I’m kinda thinking as I type here… 

If you really truly want to hide your entire account you’re - well - I mean you’re going to have to lie about it. Again, hate to encourage in some ways, but I understand it. It’s the curse of being LGBT+ in a non-supportive environment. So… I think you kind of have two options that I can see maybe working out:

1. Convince your sibling you don’t play anymore. It’ll be bad if they ever catch you on the site but it could probably be done? Depending on your situation. You could use your browser’s incognito mode I suppose to keep CS out of your history - or delete it manually. 

2. Keep the LGBT conversations out of the public eye. You could continue playing as usual but keeping any conversations you want to continue from Gary’s Army in PMs or something like that - not super viable if you want to talk to a group necessarily but it’d be an option that wouldn’t entail completely “scrapping” your account, in your sibling’s eyes.

Other than that… I’m not really sure? Sorry. I never had this experience myself so it’s tough for me to visualize exactly how it might work out.

I will say last but not least… depending on your sibling relationship I think it’s at least worthwhile to consider the possibility of talking to them about it if you honestly think they could keep it a secret. It’s one thing if they aren’t exactly supportive but you might find that depending on who they are and what your relationship is like - they might be willing to at least keep it quiet for you even if they don’t agree. It doesn’t sound like this is likely to be the case - but I do think it’s worth considering. Because online support is one thing but man - NEVER underestimate the power of having a real person in the real world to talk to - to at least have someone who knows. 

I’d also recommend looking into community support groups if you haven’t already - there are plenty of places in most cities that hold meetings at least monthly if not more often than that - again this depends on your community but most areas have at least some sort of support system that will give you a space to talk while also being respectful of your closeted status. 

Plenty of friends of mine in the community have really unsupportive families whose minds won’t be changed - I get that. I still have clashes with my own parents from time to time. But just remember that there are people looking out for you all over. :) Stay strong!

[empressxmachina]

Inquiries on WIPs, lore, and what to do with both

Hi!

I hope y'all are well! I didn't expect to make a journal today, but here I am! I do hope I get some answers because I do have some thoughts and questions.

word wall under the cut

First off, I've done a lot of proofreading and re-outlining lately.

How I keep coming up with ideas, I don't know. Why I can never sit down and write prose except for when I'm meant to be doing something else is even more unknown. But at least I'm thinking, I guess. I like what I'm pondering.  I have done some intensive writing, though.

I made a manip that's been done and in the queue for months, and I liked it so much that I've made a whole novella (novel?) idea for it. If I do it right, then I hope to get about twelve (12) parts from it - they're all now planned - of which I've completed seven. I'm closer to eight (8) than not, so that's good, right?

Since the pic is done and so is its relative part in the story, should I just release it/them, or should I wait until it's all done?

I've even made a Wattpad/book cover for it; that's how much I like what I'm doing.

Regarding Welcome Home, Sasha, specifically, it's been plotted for months, too. But I'm having some issues with writing an expository soliloquy, aka the explanation of what the fuck happened to Earth.

The actual information is cut-and-dry, but I don't know how to best frame it. I find Ki to be an analytical person - sensible for a scientist, I suppose - but with a flourish. Putting his brotherly, almost fatherly love of Sasha on top complicates things further since he wouldn't want to break his heart... and the answer will definitely bruise at the very least.

Luckily though, how he'll react and everything after that is as straightforward as an apocalypse can be. Will I ever write it, though?

I technically have three (3) or four (4) continuations to long fics, but I don't know why I'm not releasing them. I want to, yet I don't? Is this my mediocre perfectionism in action? Is this normal?

Syntrophy has changed in my head, like, four times, regarding the relationship between the two MCs. Their separate stories have maintained but not how they connect to each other.

I wish I was kidding. There's so much I've deleted.

I've been adding excerpts to my manips and making visuals to go with stories. Read more about that in the next section.

Secondly, I've been conceptualizing visuals like mad!

Ideas just keep coming, and they don't stop coming.

The queue is probably at peak fullness, which is cool. I was hoping I wouldn't have to widen time between posting stuff because as much as popularity doesn't affect whether I make something, I wouldn't want y'all to just forget about me. You know?

I know some people don't even have a schedule or set up expectations, so I might just say "Fuck it," and leave submission dates to RNG. It hasn't been a problem, but I don't want pressure from time restraints to become a problem. We'll see.

Like the unnamed, new fic way above, some of my ready works are images from tales not-yet-released. I've done that before numerous times, but one in particular literally happens in what would be the literal next part to post, and I'm not done with writing it, yet, at least to where I'd like it to be.

Should I post the pic anyway, despite context being right behind a corner? I kind of want to, but I've already been putting it off so much...

I just really need to get motivated and focus using Pomodoro or something. Maybe I'd knock everything out if I did.

My most recent completion from literally this morning might just be my favorite in all my years of manip-making.

Meanwhile, the one finished right before it might be the worst thing I've ever made, and its excerpt just makes it worse. I enjoyed it thoroughly, though, which makes me question myself as I'm seeing patterns...

I want to draw/paint again. I've done stuff for IRL projects but not size content.

I need inspiration to just sit down and pen for hours or days.

Would y'all mind me doing sketches again? That'd be quicker.

Lastly, the real reason why I chose to make a journal:

I'm really considering putting expanded, not-yet-seen lore for my stories on my blog site (on WordPress), and I feel like I've pondered this before.

As repeatedly mentioned, I have too many ideas but not even drive to collect them all into something worthwhile. But I'd like to get them out there somehow so others can indulge in my babies as much as I do. Some creators have blogs just for certain stories and their characters, settings, etc. that I adore, and I want to feel that in a way, too. However, most people don't have ten (10) or more stories at once that they equally love. Fuck, I need to edit my blog with more pages for more things I've conjured but isn't there, yet.

I feel that by doing so on my site,

People who do want to know how a plot of a tale will go, because I write as quickly as molasses runs yet have an outline for everything, can know.

It'll be organized as I see fit but my own control (unless WordPress does something drastic).

In addition, the data wouldn't be directly attached to the works on other sites like here, either, in case ideas change or people are averse to spoilers and want to stay away.

Reading all this over, couldn't I put the same data/lore in DA journals, Tumblr posts, etc., too, adding tags or titles to mark what's what? Couldn't I also put the works themselves that are here or even the damn music list on my site, too? Should I?

Am I overthinking this? I think I'm overthinking this.

That's it, I think.

Does any of this make sense? Please let me know your thoughts on anything but mostly the blog stuff if you can.

(I've also put this on DA if you'd prefer to respond there.)

Stay safe, and Happy Equinox! I'm glad I'll see flowers blooming again soon.

~J

[topicprinter]

I have a few projects / small businesses I run and I've had issues staying consistent on their social media channels. This has to an extent held back some of the projects after good initial growth. A part of that is getting through the honeymoon period and staying motivated but I think there's a few other things I was doing that started to act as a barrier to consistency.Some people seem to thrive on social media and enjoy using it both personally and for their business. They’re predisposed to reaching for their camera or their phone, they’re energised by the effort and attention instead of being drained by it. If that sounds like you, you probably don’t need to read this post! Social media just feels more like work to me. It just doesn't come naturally.That’s compounded by the fact that I value privacy and being present in the moment over sharing publicly in my personal life.. values which are becoming more and more out of place in this modern world. If I could delete all my social media, live comfortably, and surf every day, I would! But that doesn’t gel with running a small business or the way I do live my life so I have to find a balance.So having said that, this post is as much about ways I’ve found to help me stay consistent on my business’s social media channels as it is about ways to avoid it consuming your life and time.What’s the goal of your social media marketingIt’s for your business right? The goal is to make money. You need your audience to buy your products or service.Buuuut, social media is playing the long game. The number one function of social media for a business is to build a relationship with its audience. And it’s hard to build a relationship if you’re always trying to sell them something.You want your audience to have a good feeling about your brand and get to know and trust you, so that when they need or are in a position to buy what you’re selling then they will come to you.Why social media consistency is important for your businessYou are trying to cultivate relationships. I’m sure you have that friend or acquaintance who you don’t hear from for months on end and then hear from out of the blue and they ask you for something.. how do you feel about that person at that moment? That is why social media consistency is important above all else. Don’t make your business that person.Your audience is bombarded by advertisements and information all the time. There are other businesses and distractions always fighting for your audience’s attention. Keeping on top of social media keeps you in the front of your audience’s minds.There’s an old adage in marketing called the Rule of 7 which states that a business has to reach its customers seven times before they’ll take action and buy. The number isn’t important but the idea that you have to have consistent positive contact with your potential customers is.To stay consistent is to stay relevant, and to present as reliable. So, without further ado, here are some things I’ve learned.Don’t put too much pressure on yourself for quality and perfectionA big problem I had with my social accounts for my surf photography business is that I set the bar for content too high. I was only posting images that I was ready to print and sell. It was a vicious cycle because I’d feel like I’d created an expectation in my audience for the type and quality of content that I would post and I felt pressure to live up to it.This meant I wouldn’t post photos taken with my phone or other content I could create and share quickly and easily, even though I’m sure those kinds of posts would have contributed to the goal of building a relationship with my audience.I still want to post quality content, but I’ve realised that that can come in different forms. This lets me relax and have fun with it a lot more.Only use as many social media channels as you can handleThere are so many platforms. In an ideal world, your business would be present and active on them all to make sure you reach aaaall your potential customers. But if it’s just you behind the scenes, it’s not realistic. Social media can be a full-time job and you’ve other business tasks to focus on, never mind actually having personal time too!It’s made worse if you have multiple projects. I run surfpreneur.co, a surf photography business, I’m a surf and SUP instructor, and I do a couple other things.. At first, I was determined to have separate social accounts for all my projects. That quickly adds up. Am I going to run three Instagram and Twitter accounts, two Facebook business pages, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Snapchat…? Absolutely not! It’s overwhelming.I’m lucky that most of the things I do online are related and can be grouped together in a ‘personal brand’, so I’ve recently changed my strategy to mainly running only one Facebook business page and one Instagram account. I’d rather be able to focus on one or two channels and give them the attention and effort they need than to spread myself thin over multiple channels and end up neglecting them all.Instagram is most relevant to my core audience. I’d be quite happy just using it.Make coming up with post ideas a breezeEver get the feeling that you should post something but you don’t know what so you give it a few seconds thought and then put it back on the to-do list to be ignored for another day? I do the easy stuff on the list first and then procrastinate instead of doing the difficult tasks. But I still feel like I’ve accomplished something! You know..It’s all about making it easy. I have a list of different post types for my social channels that I can mix up and have a constant variety of different post ideas. For example, my Instagram account’s list is:Prints on the wall / customer photosQuality water photographsLifestyle phone photos (behind the scenes)GoPro clips of surfingPhotos taken of me surfingI combine having a list of different post types with keeping an eye on competitors and industry leaders in my niche for inspiration on how they use social media. I’m never stuck for ideas!It’s also a good idea to keep a couple posts in reserve so if you’re having a slow week (normally for me when there are no waves), you’ll still have something to post.Make it as easy as possible to make a postIf you make posting on social media easy you’re more likely to actually do it. We’ve all got our phones on us all the time, so if you’re not setting a restrictively high bar on quality you can have a convenient and quick process from idea to post.For phone photos, I do a quick edit on my phone using Snapseed and then post directly to Instagram. I’ll do the same for Facebook. I have a Twitter account but it’s not my favourite platform by a long way so I’ve set up a Zapier process to automate posting my Instagram posts to Twitter. I don’t think this is ideal but if it means I post more and spend less time on social media then I’ll take it! I can still make posts unique to Twitter if I have a post that suits that platform better (like blog posts!).You can make use of other online tools to make the process easier as well depending on your needs. I’ve used Buffer in the past and I found it helpful for scheduling posts on multiple platforms in advance.Once your post is done, it’s doneI can’t help it. When I post something I’ll check over and over on how it’s being received. Likes, comments, shares. Refresh. Likes, comments, shares. I’m trying hard not to do this.It’s worth remembering that when it’s done it’s done. It’s just one social post in a constant stream of thousands of posts all over the world. There are apparently 500 million Tweets sent each day or 6000 every second.I like to think of Twitter as a big theatre completely filled with people all screaming their opinions out and ignoring everyone else.Just let it go and get on with something else!Keep a schedule / content calendarThis is something I’ve not yet committed to for social media as my channels are more in the vein of a ‘personal brand’. I’m getting away with posting whenever I have shareable content from the various things I do. But it would allow the right kind of small business to set aside a little time every week or month to schedule all their social posts at once. That would be a significant timesaver and almost guarantee consistency.Consider hiring someone to helpAt the end of the day, you can spend as much or as little time on social media as you like. But to do it well, spending more time intelligently is the way forward. If your business or project is making money it’s worth considering the cost of the time you spend updating your social media channels. Could you spend your time better elsewhere? It could well be worth hiring a freelancer to do some or all the work for you. But then you’d have to give up some control..As small business owners, we often have a perfectionist, almost obsessive, personality type. We do all the work and make everything happen ourselves. We are extremely invested in our own success. Combine that with social media and you have a dangerous combination when it comes to mental health. Find a balance that suits you.Here’s an interesting piece from Forbes about social media fatigue in small business owners.This was originally a blog post which you can read in full here if you are interested: https://surfpreneur.co/stay-consistent-social-media-marketing/Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you've found this helpful. This is a problem I'm always battling with as I'm not really a social media person. I see it as a necessary evil as opposed to a guilty pleasure or anything like that.I'd love to hear different opinions on how you folks deal with social media fatigue or burnout and stay consistent? Cheers!