#i've been watching it live (not live because i'm not american) for seven years. they're never ending that show like

[maddy-ferguson]

i'm only 21 isn't that way too young to be watching season 19 of grey's anatomy

[bowiesversion]

Folklore songs and what marauders moment/hc I picture while listening

The 1: Remus to Sirius while he's in jail, esp the older years. Again, not my favorite. (alternatively, Jegulus. Regulus to James after James marries Lily)

Cardigan: Do I even have to say it? Wolfstar. The whole thing.

The last great american dynasty: Okay follow with me here, Andromeda and Sirius. Andy left and forged a path so Sirius could be the next one to do the same thing. (Just trust me)

Exile: Angsty wolfstar, The first verses (Bon Ivers) is Remus watching Sirius hook up diff girls, second (taylors and his mixed) is post war/after Sirius went to Azkaban. (alternatively Jegulus)

My tears ricochet: Sirius after Reg died. ("And I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home, And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, But you would still miss me in your bones")

Mirrorball: Peter or James, see this post for more

Seven: Sirius and James. (And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted, Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with, Me and we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry, Or hide in the closet) If that's not them idk what is

August: Jegulus. Esp Regulus to James, right before James gets with Lily (following my canon timeline of James and Reg hooking up, but James going onto Lily bc he can't properly love Reg the way he deserves to be loved)

This is me trying: Peter. So so so peter, imagine he's on his knees telling James this is him trying, trying to finally make a name for himself. To finally get some of the spotlight.

illicit affairs: This one I don't really have a moment/char for. My first thought was possibly (still secret) wolfstar, then maybe Peter when he first started going to DE meetings, and he's hiding it from everyone. But again, both are not my favorite so tell me in the comments what you think!

Invisible string: Marylily. They're so Taylor Coded too btw.

Mad women: Dorcas Meadows. She's so angry, esp after ALL HER FRIENDS DIE.

Epiphany: Regulus in the cave, thinking of James and/or Sirius.

Betty: Sirius to Remus after the prank, if she sang it slightly more angry it would be perfect.

Peace: This one was really hard, because this song is so close to me. But I really think James. James to EVERYONE tbh, he just has so much love. (it's also Jegulus, but shhhh)

Hoax: OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT. I know it's a love song, I KNOW. But listen to it with Regulus after Sirius leaves the house. This one is actually so sad, and I'm a sucker for Black Brothers Angst. (You know I left a part of me back in New York, You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?, You knew it still hurts underneath my scars, From when they pulled me apart, You knew the password, so I let you in the door)

[dailyrickastley]

RICK ASTLEY: The singer believes in the power of rocks, drinks cocktails, and would rather you didn't play his hits in the pub

Who would you be if you could swap places for a day? Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager. It would be good to get in there and sort things out.

Who was your childhood hero? Spartacus. I know it's a bit strange, but that's probably my favourite film of all time. I've watched it ... well, I don't know how many times. I love old movies, and would quite happily spend a whole Sunday afternoon watching them.

What's the first thing you do in the morning? Moan. I'm not fantastic at getting out of bed - I always want a few more minutes - but I have a 13-year-old daughter, Emilie, so most mornings we get up at ten to seven to get her ready for school.

What's the last thing you think about at night? Sex, usually. I also think about all the things I need to do the next day.

How often do you brush your teeth? At least twice a day - sometimes three or four if I've been at home drinking coffee all day.

Would you ever have cosmetic surgery? No, definitely not. I like the idea of growing old gracefully.

Which designer labels do you own? A few. I have some things by Prada but I don't like the fact that you can instantly see what it is because of the label. I wouldn't tend to wear designer clothes from head to toe: I'd perhaps wear a Prada jacket with Gap jeans.

Who are your favourite writers? My favourite is Martin Amis. He's got a very distinct view on life: he's really funny but in a cynical, dark way. I find myself laughing out loud quite often while reading his books.

What is your favourite building? The Louvre in Paris and the Colosseum in Rome. I couldn't pick just one.

Who did you last text? My wife, Lene. But it didn't say anything. I accidentally hit "send" and sent a blank message instead. It should have been about the lights we're getting fitted in our house. I always put kisses at the end of my texts to my wife, no matter what they're about.

City or country? Country. I live on the edge of London, so it's good to be able to get out into the countryside. I have a little boat, which I keep moored on the Thames, and I enjoy pottering about on that.

Skinhead or mullet? Mullet. I think a skinhead can look quite aggressive.

Pyjamas or au naturel? Au naturel, definitely.

Love is... Everything.

What do you believe in? Love. I'm not religious, but I also believe in an energy between humans and other elements of nature. I believe - a bit like the Native Americans - that there is an energy in everything, even rocks, but we as humans have ignored it for hundreds of year now. We've lost the ability to understand it.

What colour are your pants? White.

What have you loved and lost? My daughter's innocence. It's hard watching a child grow up and become cynical and wary.

What makes you blush? My own music. It's not that I'm embarrassed by my eighties stuff, but it's a little awkward when I'm in a bar with friends and some clown decides to put Never Gonna Give You Up on the jukebox.

What would be the soundtrack of your life? Burt Bacharach, Frank Sinatra, Nat "King" Cole, Al Green and Bill Withers.

What brings out the devil in you? Alcohol, especially vodka martinis and cosmopolitans.

Sum yourself up in five words. Oh, I'm not really sure. Rick Astley plays the Carling Academy, Glasgow, on Wednesday. His album Portrait is out now on Sony. SUSAN SWARBRICK

[eldritchsurveys]

1200.

Are you an only child? >> I was raised like one, since my half-siblings were all decades older than me.

When was the last time you were sick? >> Monday-Tuesday. Fascinating how I've already been sick twice this year, when usually I am sick no times a year.

Do you like the color pink? >> I love the colour pink.

Do you take vitamins? >> I do not.

Where was your last kiss? .

Did/do you like high school? >> I enjoyed almost nothing about high school. What are you wearing? >> Black undershirt, Stitch lounge pants.

What health problems run in your family? .

How old will you be in 5 years? >> 41. Where did you last go on vacation? >> Vacations are not a thing for my household, we're in a low income bracket. The last time we went somewhere for a little trip, though, was in April -- Indianapolis, for the Dethklok show. Almost all of that was funded by Sparrow's mother, as usual.

Ever have an eating disorder? >> No.

What sports do you play? . What quality is most important in a person? .

Who’s your bf/gf? . What’s your favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? . Do you usually wear your hair up or down? .

What TV show do you watch the most? >> I'm always watching several TV shows at a time, but I don't know how to quantify which one I am watching "the most".

Do you have a cat? >> I don’t. Sparrow does.

Do you like polka dots? >> I do not.

Have you ever been to Paris? >> I have not.

How do you feel lately? >> Hungry. Deeply, maddeningly hungry. One day I'll be able to actually eat food again...

Have you ever had surgery? >> I have not. Like any reality shows? >> I am not currently watching any, but there are some I enjoy.

What color do you dye your hair? .

What are you best at? .

What are you worst at? .

Do you like men in suits? >> I like some suits. As long as they're not American fit, basically -- I hate that boxy look.

What’s your favorite season? >> It's summer when I live in a colder region (like here) and spring otherwise, I suppose.

Did you drink last New Year’s? >> I did not. I don't do anything on New Year's anymore, I just go to bed like normal.

Did you like The Passion of the Christ? >> I have not seen it.

Which of the seven deadly sins fits you the best? >> Pride, I suppose. What do people compliment you the most on? .

Is your house two stories? >> It is. We occupy the ground floor.

Do you like Carlos Mencia? >> Haven't heard that name in ages. Am not interested in revisiting his work, though.

What word or phrase annoys you the most? >> For some reason I have a strong aversion to the word "wholesome". I just hate everything about it.

Did it rain today? >> It did not.

What did you eat for lunch? >> I didn't eat lunch because I can barely eat anything at all. I just had a bunch of crackers throughout the day. Oh, and an applesauce pouch and some unadorned toast, you know... for variety... *mimes shooting myself* Do you go hunting? >> I do not.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballerina? >> I have not.

Are you in a band? >> I am not. Where did you last have sex? >> Inworld.

Did you ever want to be an astronaut? >> I did want this, once. The only reason I stopped wanting it is because space travel in its current state is wildly inaccessible to me no matter which way you cut it.

Who was the last person to ‘give you butterflies?’ .

What book are you currently reading? >> A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton. <3

What’s the last party you attended? >> A child's birthday party. Do you wear a lot of black? >> I do. Not as much as we used to, but still a majority amount.

Do you have your own computer? >> I have two, in fact. It astounds me too. Have you ever had fake nails? >> I have, and I don't favour it. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? >> Whoof... The Blackening, almost a whole ass year ago. I'm really hoping to get to see Furiosa, because this streak has got to end.

What movie do you want to see? >> Furiosa.

Are you trick or treating this year? >> I have never done this.

What month were you born in? >> May.

Whats your birthstone? >> Emerald. I think.

Do you like where you live? >> Not especially. If I think about where I live for too long I start to feel like I'm falling into an abyss.

Where do you work? >> I don’t. If you could kill someone, how would you do it? >> I'm inclined towards intimate, visceral methods. Stabbing is so intensely euphemistic that I think that's probably the method I'd favour most. But there are some really inventive ways to kill people, I wouldn't want to limit myself.

Are women complicated? >> Everyone's complicated, bitch, let's get you some fruit.

Do you put the lid back on the toothpaste? >> I do. I didn't even realise anyone doesn't. How long have you known your best friend? .

What’s something people criticize you the most for? .

Do you get along better with your mom or dad? . Do you read classic literature? >> I'm sure some of the books I've enjoyed could be considered "classics".

Could you be a hermit? >> I don't think so. The way society and the economy is structured constantly makes me feel like I don't have a place in it and that I should live apart from it, sure, but unfortunately I would die if I had to live completely on my own.

Are you religious? >> I am. Not quite in the way that people mean when they ask this, but I am.

Why did your last relationship end? . Who do you trust the most? >> Can Calah.

What site do you visit the most? >> This week, it's been YouTube. I've watched so many YouTube videos just because I haven't had the energy to do much else.

Do you have a Deviant Art account? >> I have three of them. Two of them are defunct (I probably couldn't even get back into them if I tried), and the most recent one is just so I can look at Mature Content or whatever. I don't post on it or anything. Have you read Death Note? >> Way, way back in the day.

Do you have a blacklight? >> I do not. How old where you when you lost your virginity? . How often do you wash your sheets? >> Every other week.

Do anything productive today? >> I tried out a different food other than fucking crackers (cornflakes, with a small amount of almond milk), I played some Grim Dawn (god, Elite difficulty is kicking my ass... where the fuck are the gear drops that I can actually use? spare a gear drop plz?), I watched a movie (Scream, finally, and it actually is as good as everyone says it is, surprisingly), and I watched some YouTube including finding and starting a new LP (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories). I also put my clean laundry away. Is Uma Thurman’s face annoying? >> That's... so specific. what did Uma Thurman's face do to you

How are your grades? .

Most tedious/annoying class? .

Did you skip class today? . Who do you love? .

Would you move anywhere for someone you love? .

Are spiders scary? >> Not as a rule. But there are definitely some spiders out there that I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

Cheetos. Poofy or regular? .

What color are your eyes? >> Dark brown. What shampoo do you use? >> Cantu brand, usually the guava ginger variety.

How old are you? >> 36, for 72 more hours. Whats your favorite music genre? >> I suppose that's metal, since that's what I seem to get the most consistent joy out of listening to.

What’s a total deal breaker in a potential bf/gf? .

You’re at Starbucks. What do you order? >> I'd rather go to a local place if I'm in the position to buy a coffee drink.

Wendy’s or McDonald’s? >> I haven't had Wendy's in ages. McDonald's on the other hand surprised me last weekend with their blatant Popeye's dupe. It was actually edible.

[survey--s]

650.

Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? Not afraid, more reluctant because I'm warm in bed and don't want to wake up and move, hah. Do you get any magazines in the mail? I can't even remember the last time I read a magazine. I used to subscribe to ElleGirl and TeenVogue when I was younger though. How many websites do you have an account for? Hundreds probably, but I regularly use about 10-15 I guess, including streaming services/games. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Sure, Netflix, Prime, NowTV, Spotify, Disney+, plus plenty of others over the years too. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? It depends. I buy most of my clothes online these days.

Have you seen The Blindside? I have absolutely no idea what this is. What’s the best movie you’ve seen this year? The live-action version of The Little Mermaid was surprisingly good. Do you know how to fire a gun? No. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Get out and call the police. Probably go to the neighbours for help? Luckily I'm friendly enough with enough people on our street that I could go to them if needed. Have you played the Sims 3, yet? I played it but I think I'd gotten bored of the Sims by that point. What’s your favorite type of pizza? I love thin-crust sourdough pizzas with sundried tomatoes, mozzarella, black olives and pesto.

Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Our town only has takeaway pizzas and they're not great, really. My favourite places are both near my parents' house so I make sure to go whenever I'm in the area lol. What are you afraid of? Cancer, dementia, failure. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? No. How do you let someone know that you like them? I just tell them - normally via message rather than in person though. Have you ever asked a friend to ask someone else out for you? Nope. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably Andrew when he was attending a funeral. I was looking after the Charlie for them while they went. Were you sad when Tim Urban got sent home on American Idol? I've never watched American Idol.   What about Jason Castro, 2 years ago? Again, I don't watch it. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? I don't record anything but I do watch most shows on streaming shows or catch-up. Lately it's been the new series of Kitchen Nightmares and Bake Off. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Not really. Would you rather take a shower or a bath? It depends on my mood. Sometimes I love a good soak in the bath but a shower is much quicker and easier. How many times do you shower in a week? I shower or bathe every single day, so seven. What brand’s your cell phone? Apple. Have you ever sexted? Yeah, as a teenasger.

How many contacts do you have? Not very many. Probably about 30? Do you have your own computer? Yes. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mum. Who’s the bravest person you know? I have no idea. It's not something I really think about. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? My husband my parents, and luckily they do. Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? Ugh, please don't use that word. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Of course. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? Mike is pretty outdoorsy but I wouldn't describe him as sporty. Are you any good at writing? I was good at it in school, yeah. What’s your favorite form of writing? Poetry. What do you think about Lil Wayne? I don't really think about him. Lil Wayne Vs. Eminem…?? :S I know more of Eminems music, but both are okay, I guess. Have you ever given up on someone before? Yeah, sure. Did you end up regretting it later in life? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? No. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yeah, we had to for school. We did A Midsummer Nights' Dream, Macbeth, Hamlet, Othello, Romeo & Juliet and Merchant of Venice. i think that's it. How come no one knows what MGMT is on here? I mean, I have no idea what it is either. What did you dream about last night? I can't remember. Have you ever looked up the meaning to a dream? No. Have you ever tried to change someone? Yeah. Back when I was young and dumb, lol. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? No. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? No. What profession do you admire the most? I don't really admire any profession in particular. They all have their good and bad apples. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? Yes. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Life will go on with or without you. What are you wearing right now? Black leggings, a pink t-shirt, a black jumper and purple fuzzy socks as it's bloody freezing. Do you miss your ex? No. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their overall appearance, the same as with anyone else. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why? I'd have us living in a house that didn't constantly need work doing to it. Don't get me wrong, I love that we own our own home and I love our little place, but it gets really tiring having a house that's never actually "finished".

[abarbaricyalp]

Idk if you are still taking prompts, but you know the vine two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay, and a girl quoting it in a park about two girls in the distance and one of them hearing and going "Actually I am gay" Like that scenario, only involving them fixing the boat? Maybe Sarah quoting it to give Sam shit when she thinks Bucky cant hear and Bucky goes "Wait, no I'm gay" or something, or just the general gist of that. Sorry if this us too specific, I've never sent anyone a prompt before :P

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for sending anything in at all! I know the vine you're talking about, but I couldn't find it on Youtube. (I did find a two day rabbit hole of old compilations though) This was also my first foray into writing Sarah as a fully fleshed character! I was excited to get the practice 'cause I had an idea bouncing around in my head about her and Bucky talking after he wakes up in the Wilson house. I kept her a little more like she had been in my other fics pre-show here. I so wish we got a little more of her!

Feel free, anyone, to send me Sambucky prompts!

The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation

Sarah Wilson loved her brother deeply. The kind of soul crushing love that could only be formed through family, loss, and approximately four thousand brawls around the living room throughout their life. She looked up to her brother more than she could ever imagine looking up to anyone. Even when they were fighting or picking on each other, she couldn’t help but feel a swell in her chest when he came into her line of sight.

That didn’t mean she understood him. In fact, from the age of eight, watching her brother interact with the world had become her go-to pastime. Why did he have to roll every pea around the plate individually before eating them? Why did he and his friends spend seven years socking each other in the arm to prove friendship? Why did he talk to himself in the mirror, even when he knew Sarah or someone else was standing in the doorway?

Sam Wilson was just deeply weird. She had no idea how he had tricked the Avengers, a plethora of bad guys, and half of the media world into thinking he was remotely cool. She saw a news story once that had King T’Challa standing on a platform with Sam and the newscasters talked about how impressive Sam’s suit was. It was unnatural, the effect he had on people.

And in all her years, she never thought she’d see anyone weirder than Sam. But then James Barnes had showed up. It was like a complete reversal of Sam. Sarah was taken in for approximately three hours by his charm and face before she realized he too was deeply, deeply weird.

She justified sitting on the edge of the Paul and Darlene, watching her brother and James Barnes spar off about some dumb trivia fact, by deciding it was an anthropological expedition. The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation. She watched Sam watch Barnes take a long pull off his beer. She watched Barnes kick his feet up near Sam’s legs and then draw them back quickly when a current jolted the boat. She watched Barnes’ fingers tap-tap-tap against the edge of the boat, inching closer to Sam’s shoulder before he chickened out and brought his hand back to his own lap. She watched Sam suggest Bucky take his jacket off, ‘unless you plan on sun blinding me with the robocop arm.’ She watched Sam look away when Barnes did shrug his jacket off.

When she was seventeen and Sam was fifteen, she had found Sam crying in his room, pillow pressed to his face to muffle the noise. They were at the age where going into each other’s rooms uninvited started international conflicts, but Sarah, who watched her brother intently, felt like she knew what was going on. So she let herself in through their Jack-and-Jill bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Sam didn’t stop crying, not even to yell at her to get out, so she sat on the end of his bed and rolled a baseball under her foot for a while. Finally, she’d said, “You don’t have to tell Mom and Dad, y’know.”

Sam had just about wailed and bit the corner of his pillow to stop himself.

“That’s gross, stop it,” Sarah ordered and pushed Sam’s shoulder back enough to yank his pillow free and then reached over to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I should make you do the laundry this week so I know I’m not touching your snot germs,” she teased softly.

“How did you know?” Sam hiccuped out. Tears were still brimming at his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“I’m your older sister. I made you. Like a doll. You think there’s something about you that I don’t know?” she joked. And when the tears did spill over his long lashes, she sighed and pulled him closer to her side. “I just know the way you interact with that boy from the basketball team ain’t just friendly.”

“Jesus, do you think he can tell?” Sam asked and she could hear the mortification in his voice.

“Sam, he’s a freshman in high school. The only thing he knows is that he’s scared of everything too. No one’s paying that much attention to you.”

“Screw you,” Sam muttered.

“What’re all these tears for you if you didn’t make a move and get shot down?”

“God, Sarah, can you not say things like that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Sarah warned with no heat in her voice. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“I just…” Sam sat up and worked his jaw for a while. His chin dimpled and his eyes watered but he managed to control himself. “I’m scared, Sarah. I’m scared of never being in love. Of having to leave if I am. I’m scared to say something and I’m scared not to say something. I’m so scared of...losing any of it.”

“Sam,” Sarah sighed and pulled Sam into another hug. “You’re fifteen. You’re not supposed to be in love yet. You don’t have to think about any of that. You just have to focus on passing Geometry, alright? Mom’ll whoop your ass more for failing than anything else.”

“I have a B+, that’s not failing!” Sam snapped. He kept his face against her shoulder for a second long before he sat up and wiped his tears away. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I gonna tell? I told you, my friends don’t like you as much as you think they do.”

“Your friends like me more than they like you,” Sam shot back and he almost sounded normal.

Sarah smiled softly and patted Sam’s cheek. “I won’t tell Mom or Dad. Of course not. That’s for you to do. But--”

“I’m always going to tell them when you sneak out the window.”

“No! Sam! You can’t! You owe me now!”

“Going to field parties is not the same thing!” Sam said in a shriek as Sarah leaned over to pinch his sides. They grappled for a second before Sam managed to push Sarah off the bed.

“You owe me,” she reminded him as she walked back to the bathroom.

Sam wiped his eyes again and nodded. “Sure, Sarah. I do.”

Sam almost had the same look on his face now. Like there was something he wanted to reach for that he thought was too impossible to hold. The Older Sister Instinct to Antagonize into a Solution kicked in.

“Two bros, chilling on a boat, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay,” she sing-songed. Sam looked mortified again but masked his face into something more irritated with a roll of his eyes when Barnes looked over at him.

“Ignore her. It’s this old video--” Sam started.

But Bucky interrupted to say, “Actually I am gay,” as he looked back over at Sarah. “Sorry if I got your hopes up,” he added with a grin that really did get the hopes up.

“What?” Sam asked and Sarah, ever watchful, could see the beer bottle shaking in his hand.

“What?” Bucky repeated innocently.

“He said he’s gay,” Sarah clarified.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Sam ground out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bucky snorted. “When would I have said anything? ‘Sorry for ripping your wings off and kicking you off of a hellicarrier, by the way I’m gay.’?”

“You did what?” Sarah asked.

“‘Sorry for claiming I didn’t bomb the UN only to be reverted back to the assassin who would have done that and then fighting you again. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Thanks for saving my life. Sorry about the giant undersea prison. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘There’s an imminent battle with weird ass space dogs that want to eat our faces. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Sorry about Tony Stark, whose life I kind of ruined. Lovely funeral. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘I’m in the middle of being pissed at you about the Shield. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Maybe don’t take me rolling through a field of flowers. It does things to me ‘cause I’m gay.’ ‘John Walker’s fucking insane. I’m gay, but definitely not for this bullshit.’ I mean, come on, Sam.”

“Flowers?” Sarah asked.

“Besides, why would you care? I don’t make it a habit of telling straight guys I’m into guys.”

“You don’t seem to make a habit of telling many people that,” Sarah pointed out. “I googled you. Nothing suggesting that came up.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m a guy from the 30s. It was trained out of me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sarah said quickly. “Back up away from that because we’re not gonna try to Oppression Olympics our way through our histories. Did you just say Sam was straight?”

“Sarah!” Sam hissed.

“Sure. I mean, I saw him with Romanov. Hill. He has Tinder on his phone.”

“Samuel Thomas, you better not,” Sarah warned lightly. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s a lady-killer.”

Sarah snorted and had to bring her hand up to her face. “He definitely is not. There has been no lady-killing on his end for a long time.”

“Sarah!” Sam tried again.

“You explain it to him then. Mr. 30s is gonna need the long way round explanation.”

Sam sighed and dragged his hand over his face. “Dammit. Fine. I’m not straight either, alright? I’m...bi, or something. It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about it.”

“What?” Bucky asked, not unlike Sam had.

“He said he’s bisexual. Interested in both parties. Swings either way. Hit a homerun and then hasn’t really swung since.”

“Sarah, Jesus Christ,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Bucky asked again.

“I was engaged. To a man,” Sam said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the irony.

“Oh, it was inconvenient for you but I had plenty of opportunities, huh?” Sam asked. “Ms. Tell-It-All over there wasn’t joking. I haven’t swung any direction in a while. Not since before I met Steve. My fiance died. And then it never came up.”

Bucky blinked at Sam. He kept bringing the bottle halfway up his body and then setting it back on his leg without ever taking a drink. “Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, which was not what Sarah was expecting and it clearly wasn’t what Sam was expecting because Sam finally moved closer to Bucky on the bench.

“What for? You didn’t do anything. This time.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known you were into me too, I woulda kissed you in Germany.”

“Oh, I am so not into you,” Sam denied. “And I wouldn’t have our first kiss ruined by immediately running into the government’s roving show monkey.”

“That’s the worst,” Bucky agreed and also finally moved over on the bench until they were pressed thigh to thigh. “Tell me how much you don’t like me again,” he challenged.

“I can’t stand you,” Sam answered and brought his hand up to Bucky’s jaw.

Sarah couldn’t fight down the grin that came to her face and turned to prop her feet on the pier, back to Sam and Bucky. Just this once, she didn’t need to watch her brother to understand him.

Read on AO3 here!

[9tzuyu]

the art of delicate hands – pt. i

[ wandanat. ]

College AU.

Multiple part series ;

↳ snippets of their relationship and how I perceive them.

sumary:

wanda doesn't like to talk very much, only to her brother (and sometimes her lovely redheaded girlfriend).

notes:

if anyone international is reading this, ASL is shortened for american sign language (language of the hands).

+

this is a revised and edited version from when i wrote it on ao3 in 2018.

The only person that knew was Pietro. It was her little secret, and she could only hope that no one now would find out. She knew she shouldn't be ashamed, it was nothing to be ashamed over. Unsurprisingly however, it became her biggest insecurity – years of relentless bullying ensued that.

Wanda was always anxious. When she was seven she began experiencing panic attacks. The metallic taste of blood in her mouth became familiar over time as her panic attacks worsened.

All because she was mute and didn't feel comfortable to speak to anyone, including her parents. The only person Wanda felt comfortable enough to talk to was her brother (you could say that's because they're twins).

A doctor in Sokovia mentioned to Wanda's parents that therapy may help, that it may get her to speak more than four words a week. So her parents moved her when she was 16 and hoped for the best.

Within a year and a half Wanda was able to develop a clear understanding of American Sign Language. Eight months into the move and Wanda's parents had given up on Wanda ever talking, something that she took personal. They didn't catch on to English as quick as the twins did, their native language stuck closer than expected. Pietro didn't mind learning English quickly as he wanted to fit in school, and he also didn't mind studying ASL to communicate with Wanda on a deeper level.

American high school wasn't much better than her hometown. People talked, whispered and gossiped about her in class, muttered hurtful things about her appearance and the way she carried herself; a shy, quiet, timid girl. The worst part of it was when they mocked her for using a language that was supposed to feel safe for her. Pietro always came to her rescue, shooing people away, reminding them that she's his sister. The silver haired boy had no problem fitting in, it was only when they were apart did people tease the younger brunette.

When their parents died, Wanda took the brunt of the emotional attack it had on the twins. She'd been sitting in the backseat of the car, earbuds in, with her music volume at maximum capacity. Her father had tried to tell her to turn down the music while her mother rest in the passenger seat, window down with her eyes closed. When Wanda didn't hear her father, he reached over, eyes off the road, and tapped her. The second she registered his touch a semi-truck hit her father's door. In a matter of minutes Wanda and Pietro both were left alone to fend for themselves.

Putting the blame on herself only caused her to shut down further. It took over a year for Wanda to speak to Pietro again.

But as per usual, the twins stuck together and finished high school. The only difference was that they lived in foster care, they belonged to the state, up for grabs if anyone wanted them. That came to an end six months into their stay. The foster family proposed the idea of adoption, they had no problem in taking care of the twins for the rest of the time being – or, if they wanted, every day after as well.

At twenty, Wanda and Pietro eventually both went to college and shared a house with a bundle of other people on campus. The younger sibling even found herself a girlfriend within the group, her name being Natasha Romanoff.

Natasha didn't mind at all how little Wanda talked. She was curious, of course, but even before their relationship Nat never pushed her girlfriend into anything uncomfortable. Natasha could tell Wanda always made effort though, that's what drove the brunette into allowing herself a relationship.

When the redhead would sleep, Wanda would continuously practice signing. She'd sign songs and poems, movie scripts and books, everything she possibly could to improve herself. It was a very personal, in touch form of language for her.

Wanda had been with her girlfriend a little over a year and Natasha still didn't know all the unpleasant factors that came about her life. Wanda only told her just enough to get by, and she felt immensely guilty for that. Truth was she desperately wanted to tell Natasha, she just didn't know how. She'd thought about just signing something to her and hoping she would catch on, but figured that would be too much. Anxiety spiked in her chest and in her bones, and she was tired of feeling like a liar.

With a sigh, Wanda plopped down on her bed and pulled her phone out from her back pocket. Unlocking it, she went to her text messages and scrolled to Pietro's contact. When she was sure no one else was in the house, she tapped the call button and listened to the phone ring until Pietro answered.

"You know I'm in the other room, right? You literally could've called my name." He greeted, accent heavy through the speaker.

Wanda giggled as she ran her fingers through her hair. You're safe. Speak, it's okay. She reminded herself.

"Yeah, but are you free?"

"Always."

"Can you come here? I need to ask you about something." Pietro gave out a loud, playful sigh but walked to her room, disconnecting the call on his way in. "What is it, my dear sister? What could possibly be troubling you here on this day? Is it that scruffy redhead?" He smirked arrogantly but sat down in the desk chair across from Wanda, not failing to notice how she rolled her eyes.

"She doesn't have scruffy hair and you know it. It's soft, gentle – and much less damaged than your shit show of an excuse for bleached hair."

"Whatever you say, little chaos."

Wanda groaned, "Why must you still call me that?"

"It suits you well."

There was a shared moment of silence between the two before Pietro spoke up. "What was it you wanted to ask me about?" A small frown was plastered on Wanda's face and Pietro found himself wanting to know even more now. Wanda waited another minute before finally answering. "Should I tell her? You know, about..."

A huge smile took over her brother's face. He was ecstatic that she wanted this for her girlfriend. "Of course you should! I really think she'd be interested to know more about you – y'know, since you don't ever tell her anything."

"I tell her things!" Pietro shook his head, "Does she even know your birthday?" Wanda nodded and turned herself away from him. "I just don't know how to do it. I mean it'd be kind of heavy just taking her out to dinner only to tell her my deepest, darkest secret afterwards. I'm scared she'll hate me, Pietro! And I've never even spoke. More than like, 12 sentences all at once with her!" He softened knowing how much trouble one past  had caused his little sister. "Write her a note?" He suggested, but she shook her head. "I want to tell her, not write her."

Right before he was about to speak again there was a knock at the door. The pair looked up to find Natasha standing in the doorway smiling down at the two. "Am I interrupting?"

Wanda froze while Pietro arrogantly raised his eyebrow and announced his answer. "No. We were just finished talking."

Confusion was written on Nat's face and she stood there until Wanda shook her head and muttered a small "No," giving her the signal that she could come in.

"I'll be in the other room if you need me." Pietro got up, despite Wanda's silent plea for him to stay. He gave her a thumbs up and left the room.

Natasha closed the door and laid next to Wanda, wrapping her arms around the younger woman. "You okay?" Wanda nodded in reply and Natasha knew not to push. For now she'd just keep an eye on her, reassuring her that she could talk to her if need be.

Over the next few days Wanda seemed to be doing better. She was supposed to go to a party with Nat, but opted out to study for classes instead.

"Be safe," she whispered and planted a small kiss on Natasha's lips.

Everyone else went to the same party, leaving the house to just Wanda. She sent out a group message telling everyone to text her or ring her (at the very most importance) if they needed a ride. Wanda didn't drink much anyways so she didn't mind being the designated driver of the bunch. And besides, she didn't mind having some time alone, it gave her the absence of the boys so she could study.

However, after over an hour or so of studying Wanda was beginning to feel stressed. Her nerves were building and she could feel her jaw clench.

She needed a break.

With a small sigh, she got up and connected her phone to her speaker. After scrolling and clicking on her song of choice, Wanda found herself signing the words to a Modest Mouse song.

Green eyes closed as her hands began to string along with the words of the song. It was rather fast paced, but Wanda was able to keep up fairly well thanks to years of practice. Lyrics flowed through her fingertips and in the palms of her hands, her stress levels immediately decreasing as she went on.

Unbeknownst to her, however, Natasha was standing in the doorway watching her every move. She was absolutely mesmerized by Wanda's hand motions. Her finger spelling was very fast, and Natasha was curious to know how long Wanda had known ASL.

When the song was over, Wanda stopped her music and moved herself so she could study again. She grabbed her pens, pencils and highlighters, along with her textbook while her back faced Natasha.

"I didn't know you could sign." Natasha commented. A mix of shock and uneasiness quickly took over the calm look on Wanda's face.

It wasn't until then when Tasha put two and two together. She quickly rushed over to her girlfriend, and carefully engulfed her into a hug.

"Hey, no, I think it's really cool. You don't have to worry now, your secret's safe with me." Wanda began to shake in her grasp, tears forming in her eyes. She backed out of the embrace and against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest.

"No, you're supposed to hate me, laugh at me. You're supposed to be anything but be cool with it." Natasha tilted her head, "Is that what they did to you?"

Wanda peaked out from underneath her arms, the confirmative nod sent Natasha's heart well beyond sinking. She’d never understand how people could willingly be so cruel.

"I'm here to listen, not judge." Her words softly echoed in Wanda's mind, and she watched Natasha carefully to see if she was lying. When she didn't make any remarks or snide comments, Wanda knew it was safe. Accent heavy, she began letting words slip from her mouth.

"I have really bad anxiety when it comes to talking, so I just don’t. Asl makes it easier to communicate, but growing up I was often teased for it. You’re really good at reading me without it, so I hid it from you. Guess their words still haunt me...” Wanda finished, giving Natasha a little more insight on her life.

Natasha moved closer to her girlfriend, bringing Wanda’s shaking body into her embrace. She then kissed the top of her forehead.

Wanda looked up to see Natasha thinking, her eyebrows scrunched together and she was chewing on her lip. She nudged her.

“I think it’s quite beautiful if you ask me.” Wanda cracked a smile and rest her head on Tasha’s shoulder. “Beauty comes from pain, I guess.”

But Natasha shook her head, “No, No, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Wanda nodded. She understood what Natasha was saying, she just didn’t believe it to be true when it came to herself. Nonetheless, she spoke the words, repeating the mantra so that maybe she could start to feel a belief in them.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

[thedaythealienscame]

hmmmm any of the saw movies (for the movie asks)

ask me about movies <3 | i'm going to do literally all of them with explanations for each one

saw:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

fuckkkk man. the amount of thought and effort that went into this first movie was insane. a script that took years of revising, going out of their way to get cary elwes to be in the movie (they got him to watch the short film + showed him their drawings). FILMED IT ALL OVER SEVEN DAYS? god. also the concept of a saw movie focusing mostly on one trap is something the franchise hasn't done since. i love it, love the acting, love the props, love the physical effects, everything. <- changed horror as we know it even.

saw ii:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

for not being written originally as a saw movie, the whole team did a phenomenal job twisting it just a tiny bit more to make it an genuine saw movie. the traps here are brutal in their simplicity, down to the one that eric matthews was in without even knowing it. what a movie. balanced the a + b plots perfectly, all the characters are memorable. wow <3

saw iii:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

i've only been able to watch saw iii once and the whole time i did i felt genuinely nauseous as to what these people were being put through. it was originally intended to be the last saw movie and they really went all out for this one. the traps here aren't hard to watch because they're gorey, they're hard to watch because they're so unique it's awful to imagine, let alone see. that and the end of amanda + kramer's arcs, plus the unknowing that comes with so much after this is really <3 wow. first movie to do the series of tests for one person.

saw iv:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

an all around enjoyable movie with an interesting character study on one of the few remaining cops from the second + third movies and his belief that he had the ability to save everyone that has been slowly ruining his life. all the victims in this one were bad people though so i'm removing points for this. also two of the traps were very similar idk why they did that. very good if you're sitting down just to watch a movie! loved the trap with the ice blocks

saw v:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

in many ways this is a bit of a bad movie <3 it's also a very good movie when you only focus on the trap plotline which is what i went into it for. returning to the idea of the second movie of a series of traps where the victims have to work together to survive. the traps were unique, loved the fact that the victims were all connected in some way, the ways that multiple traps could have been done in multiple ways until the very end. wow <3 many saw enjoyers say this was a very bad one, i entirely agree. still a fave though (some solid theories surrounding this one too) (liked that some characters had a happy ending in this one as well)

saw vi:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

good commentary in this one surrounding the american healthcare system and was very pleased to see a return to the original ideas (i.e. tests to recover from moral failings/lapses in judgement/etc). the traps were interesting to see and i very much enjoyed the focus on the phrase "live or die" and the focus on partner traps where the person inside the trap also could participate. also: nice to see hoffman get a taste of his own medicine

saw 3d:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

pink blood, silly storyline, the trap that happened in a dream, and the 3d gimmick aside. this was genuinely an okay movie and i'm sad that most people don't actually like it. the traps were actually really interesting from an outside standpoint (the public execution, the one that happened in a junkyard, see/hear/speak no evil themed traps, etc). ALSO jill's betrayal was soo good. AND THE ENDING. my god <3

jigsaw:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

it wasn't the worst and some of it was interesting, but it doesn't like. occupy a portion of my mind when i think of the saw franchise even though it was the only one i was old enough to have seen trailers for at the time it came out. idk. it just kind of exists? the plot was okay but i'd have preferred if the twist was different

spiral:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favourite | masterpiece

i'm actually mad that this one is widely regarded as a bad movie because you could see the twist coming as if the original three saw movies did not also have clues scattered throughout. highly enjoyed seeing actors that i hadn't seen before mixed with actors i had seen before and was very happy with the ending. the unique take on the concept of the movies + way that it takes place mostly outside the traps + the fact that it doesn't take itself too seriously is a plus in my book. wish it had been made without a possible sequel in mind though

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 11 "Black Friday"

"Be careful. I'd really like to kiss you again."

"I'm saving my energy for Black Friday doorbusters tomorrow morning."

"How about you do the honors?"

"Oh, the holidays. That festive time of year where everyone's decked out in their Christmas finest."

"The season of joy and love and presents begins when the clock strikes midnight."

"I thought you got all your clothing hand-delivered by A-list designers."

"Black Friday is about buying deliberately cheap, totally forgettable Christmas gifts for friends. The obvious cheapness of the gift makes them question our friendship and makes them way easier to manipulate as they try desperately to get back on my good side."

"Is this black toilet paper?"

"Amazing. A pair of mink albino boy shorts."

"I bribe the dude who deals weed off the loading dock to let me in a half hour early."

"Torturing these soulless manatees of senseless consumerism brings me so much joy. And isn't joy what the holiday season's all about?"

'At first I was like, "What a weird turkey." And then it clicked. Like... "Damn, that's a head."

"When you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me."

"I am gonna take this opportunity to be the strong parental influence you have never had."

"You are gonna march over to that sofa right now and you're gonna sit down because you are in a time out."

"I'm sorry. Did you just put me on a time out? You do realize I'm not seven, right?"

"Well, behold how badly you've failed."

"I think it's pretty safe to assume that your career is over."

"Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to the mall to exercise our patriotic right to join hundreds of thousands of our fellow out-of-breath Americans in sweatpants as they make frenzied, ill-thought-out purchases of cheap, crappy garbage they can't afford and don't need. To deny us of that right would be un-American."

"Let's go, sluts."

"I want to know what I'm being charged with."

"You drove your pickup truck through the front window of a Best Buy."

"You killed or maimed people. Let's go."

"Sounds awful, but I'd keep that to yourself."

"You're not really helping yourself."

"Most of the uniformed cops out there are working on a volunteer basis because they get backed up inside if they don't crack a few skulls every day."

"There's a killer on the loose and you're telling us this town has no police force?"

"I don't understand why you have to get us the crappiest gifts possible and then make sure we know about it beforehand just to ruin the surprise."

"I mean, that's like bringing pineapples to Hawaii."

"So would you feel the need to waste $13,000 buying me something I already have?"

"Maybe instead of using my disgusting wealth to buy my friends crap, I should use my disgusting wealth to buy my friends things they would actually enjoy."

"The mall is deserted."

"Oh, go on and shoot me, hag. It'll just make me young and skinny forever and you'll still be old. Come on, finish me off, you shriveled, old crone!"

"First day on the job and I caught a killer."

"Wait, you have a gun?"

"Damn! Why didn't I shoot him when I had the chance?"

"How's your crossbow wound?"

"The arrow missed all major arteries, and I'm currently rolling on some sweet painkillers."

"What exactly are you proposing?"

"I've always had this vision of a band of sisters who stand together like an impenetrable community of shields who kept everyone safe and secure."

"Sometimes, instead of shields, we need swords."

"No one is going to help us."

"No one is going to stop this until we are all dead."

"Well, I'm sorry, but she is a vindictive, amoral woman who no one is gonna miss."

"I say we poison her."

"Did you ever do it in my bed?"

"So you were gay lovers?"

"No, we were not gay lovers."

"I'm an investigative journalist."

"Well, you know, I really love the idea of a bunch of guys from different backgrounds getting together and forming a brotherhood for life."

"Have you ever been to a driving range?"

"What sort of ab regimen are you rocking, bro?"

"I guess the fact that you and I cannot stand one another is finally out in the open."

"Name your weapon."

"So pick your weapon. You can choose sabres, guns, baseball bats, small pebbles, spoons, doesn't matter to me. What does matter, is that we will fight, and we will fight to the death."

"Well, I am sorry that took so long, but, you know, a watched pot never boils."

"Being a millennial feminist means growing up listening to Taylor Swift say she doesn't like to think of the world as boys versus girls."

"That's not what feminism was about."

"How come all the pictures on the wall are selfies?"

"Oh, it smells amazing."

"Where did you get puffer fish venom?"

"I want to be there when she dies."

"That's bliss!"

"Is it nutmeg?"

"I am like a soldier at war. I am killing to stop more killing. It's totally justified."

"But what about moral law?"

"Oh, that would be hard for you?"

"I don't "rage" on Tuesday nights or have competitions about how many girls I can have sex with in one day."

"What I'm trying to say is guys join fraternities to get a sense of structure in their lives. Problem is the structure

they're buying into is antiquated. It's misogynistic and hierarchical and dangerous."

"It's misogynistic and hierarchical and dangerous."

"I don't think I'm in the right headspace right now."

"You're a rare breed, one of the true good guys."

"That's the weirdest explanation for anything I've ever heard."

"We need to think of new ways to kill her!"

"I'm really gonna cherish our time here together."

"Killing is wrong, but, under this circumstance, I don't know what other choice we have."

"Hold on, sluts."

"When I was your age, I was thoughtless about sex."

"If you don't think you're ready, you probably aren't. And if you aren't, well, then no good can come from doing it, anyway."

"The main thing is you have to be perfectly dry. The cryosauna is set to 200 degrees below zero, so any water on your skin freeze instantly."

"How come there hasn't been any screaming?"

"No, we need to get away while we still can."

"Hey, hey, it's enough. The point has been made."

"Why do you want to continue taking this any further?"

"Yes, I feel guilty!"

"Don't you ever call me again."

"I heard about these Buddhist Monks that found a way to meditate, so they can sit outside all night, way, way up in the Himalayas in weather that would kill a normal person, but their core temperature stays totally normal."

"You're thinking of the movie Teen Wolf, you brainless gash, which is not, in fact, a documentary!"

"Uh, Rasputin. He was a mystical Russian peasant who became a close advisor of Tsar Nicholas II because he could magically cure Prince Alexei of his hemophilia."

"Okay, this seems totally not germane to what we're talking about, so can we please just skip ahead?"

"Maybe she has some magical powers that make her unable to die, like some horror movie villain, like Michael Myers, or Jason, or Dr. Giggles."

"So, maybe try on a size zero."

"Okay, I'm not gonna try on the size zero because I won't fit into the size zero."

"This is discrimination!"

"Look at her. Give her something. Give her something to be happy!"

"Come on, what is wrong with these idiots?!"

"Why did you ask me to meet you here? And why are you carrying a bag clearly filled with chains?"

"I thought we could talk about bondage and go for a swim."

"You're all packed up. I thought you were staying until you cracked the case."

"I was just gonna go to the woods and write or something,

like Thoreau, but with WiFi."

"I mean, maybe I could come with you. Might be kind of romantic, you know?"

"I could bring a slow cooker, and we could talk about the case all night over short ribs?"

"Well, I do love short ribs."

"I'll always be able to say that my first was with a great, great, great guy."

"I am a sentient grown woman who has been through

hell the past few weeks, and I'm sitting next to you, now, with open eyes and an open heart, telling you that I want to give myself to you."

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[citylightsbooks]

Writing from Fierce Love: Mira Sethi in Conversation

This is an excerpt of a free event for our virtual events series, City Lights LIVE. This event features Mira Sethi in conversation with Miranda Popkey, celebrating Sethi’s new short fiction collection Are You Enjoying? published by Knopf. This event was originally broadcast live via Zoom and hosted by our events coordinator Peter Maravelis. You can listen to the entire event on our podcast. You can watch it in full as well on our YouTube channel.

Miranda Popkey: I wanted to ask you about your protagonist at the end of that story ["Tomboy"]. And I won't spoil the twists and turns that the story takes, but she has a moment with her husband, where she's remarking on a mutual friend. And [the protagonist] describes her as “brave.” And I think that “brave” is a word that's overused when describing works of literature, but I'm curious what it means for her, for your character, but also for you, to be publishing work that is quite daring and that is really trying to paint a picture of different pockets, different communities, in Pakistan that we ignorant Americans may not be familiar with.

Mira Sethi: Miranda, thank you so much for asking that. And I'm not just saying this because I'm in conversation with you, but this has to the most thoughtful question I've been asked about my book, because a lot of the questions I've been asked so far have been about Pakistan and politics, and we’ll get to that. That's also very important. But thank you for asking that.

As far as my protagonist--without giving too much away--she calls the other lady “brave,” because that other lady is living life on her own terms. And it's not easy to live life on your own terms in a country like Pakistan, even if you have a lot of privilege, because of issues around sexuality and the often burdensome imperatives of family and your clan or your tribe and your parents. And then the larger superstructure above that, which is the state and the things that trickle down from the state. So my character says [the other woman] is brave because she, herself, is living this dual life and she hasn't yet been able to come to terms with what it is that she wants. Although this, I imagine, is a turning point for her.

And for me, yes, I did think a lot about what the repercussions might be for writing about queer lives in Pakistan. But, you know, I'm in my thirties now, and I believe very strongly in a certain set of principles. I'm an outspoken feminist in Pakistan. That sometimes gets me into trouble. And I am going to write the things that I know and I love deeply. This book actually comes from a place of fierce love, and trauma and heartache and comedy, but mostly it comes from a place of love. And buttressing my fear is my love for people who are struggling to live life on their own terms. And so I wrote this hoping that if there are--I know I have so many queer friends in and out of Pakistan--I'm hoping that maybe if they read this, they can glimpse their lives and feel seen, because fiction is ultimately the desire to write, the desire to be seen fully.

Miranda Popkey: Absolutely. I completely agree that it's hard to imagine a life that you have not seen represented. And I think that's the experience that your protagonist is having. In that moment, she's seeing the life that she wishes she could live. Instead, as you say, she's living sort of a double life where she's married, but she does have queer desires.

Mira Sethi: Absolutely. And I didn't just struggle with this. I was kind of petrified while writing some of these, and not just "Tomboy" but also the title story, "Are You Enjoying?" because it's about infidelity, a love affair, an illicit relationship, a taboo relationship.

So I'm writing about sex, you know? Yes, I worried a lot about that. I'm worried about if somebody screenshots a really vivid passage and then says, “Look at her. She's spreading vulgarity.” I mean, this is something I deal with in my life as an actress as well. But yes, at the level of the sentence, it's definitely something I think about, but I didn't ever let that stop me from saying what I wanted. And in many ways, Miranda, I think it actually makes you more creative. I am not wishing censorship upon anyone. God knows, when there was censorship in Russia, people still wrote. There is a ton of censorship in Pakistan, and we still manage to tell stories. And it's not great, but it does force your most creative instincts out of you in a way that when you can say things very openly and very clearly, the mind isn't concentrated. It leads to a certain concentration of the mind when you're forced to say things in code. And I did for "Tomboy" a little bit.

Miranda Popkey: I think just from the craft perspective, it's also interesting that the story that is most explicit in its treatment of queer themes, and most affirming and its treatment of queer themes, is also the only first-person story. I think that's an exciting, exceptional choice.

Mira Sethi: May I tell you a cute little story? So I wrote this story, which had a very different shape and form, literally three weeks before I submitted it to my editor. And I showed it to a friend who was queer. And she said to me, very politely, she said, “You know, Mira, I love you, and you're a great writer, but you're not queer. And you're writing this queer story from the point of view of queer desire.” My protagonist in the early drafts would look at women in a certain way. And she said to me, “You’re great, but this is not working. You don't know what queer desire is like, so don't try and enter that consciousness. But you do know about patriarchy. So why don't you reframe this story from the point of view of patriarchy.”

And man, that was such a hallelujah moment, because I was really struggling with the story in the early drafts. And then as soon as she said that, I was like, “Oh my god, yes.” This was actually reading as comic writing, because I don't know about queer desire. And then I reframed the whole story. And it was a real breakthrough moment for me, because then the story just ran when I started reframing it from the point of view of patriarchy.

Miranda Popkey: Well, I'm glad that your friend gave you this wonderful piece of advice.

Can you talk about your editing and revision process?

Mira Sethi: Oh my god. The most false thing about becoming a writer is that you have a book and you get to show off your book, and nobody talks about how much real writing went into it. I mean, I'm practically tripping over my words right now because I rewrote the shit out of all of these stories. And the writing takes you to places that you hadn't anticipated.

I often say that I think in order to write. The writing is what tells me what it is that I think. So after I’ve written the thing, I know what it is that I think. So the editing process works like this: I write something. It's very raw. I'm actually not self-conscious when I start writing, because I know it's vomit. And I know there's nothing to be done with the vomit, you just do it. And then later on, you can go and clean it, but it gives you something to work with. And so I write, and then I clean it up, and then I think around draft fifteen, I show it to my editor. It takes at least fifteen drafts. And then they say “Okay, you've got a scaffolding, but where is this going?” So I've worked on these seven stories for five years. That's a long time for seven stories. It's almost a story a year. Writing is really quite grueling.

Miranda Popkey: I agree. My joke about my first novel, my only novel, is that I had to think about it for twenty years before I could write any of it.

Mira Sethi: And you said that in your acknowledgments as well, which I actually really appreciate.

Miranda Popkey: Are you the kind of writer who plans it all in advance or are you one of those who need to surprise themselves and somehow, through the writing itself, the ideas emerge?

Mira Sethi: It's the latter. It's exactly what you said. I don't think, in order to write, I write so that I may know what it is that I'm thinking. And I don't plan in advance. And honestly, this is not a critique of writers who plan in advance. I can't relate to it at all, because so much of the beauty of me writing fiction is discovering things that I didn't know. For instance, my take on identity politics. Yes, of course, I'm progressive, and I have a take. But it was only after writing this book that I really understood what I felt about the world. And I think that is one of the most beautiful things about writing fiction. There is a kind of slow dredging up of your subconscious. And then you're like, “Oh, this is what I think about this issue.” It's really quite amazing.

Miranda Popkey: I completely agree. I write in large part to figure out what it is that I think and when I get the words on the page, I know if they're right, and I know if they're wrong, and if it's just a thought it's much vaguer.

What advice do you have for aspiring writers?

Mira Sethi: If it consumes you, you'll probably end up doing it. Because I find that is the case with most writers.

And have a community around you! Something that I don't have in Karachi is a community of writers. And I miss it. I have a community of actors, but I don't have a community of writers.

And workshop your work with people you respect and admire and keep going. And, you're not going to get it right the first time or the tenth time or the twentieth time, but you might get it right the fiftieth time, and you'll have to be in it for the long haul. It's actually quite painful.

Because you don't get it right. And then one day you get it right.

***

Purchase Are You Enjoying? from City Lights Bookstore.