#i've been studying for 2 years for this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

indestinatus · 9 months ago

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I MATCHED I MATCHED IN MY MEDICAL RESIDENCY PROGRAM IN MY TOP SCHOOL I PASSED I PASSED I CAN'T BREATHE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#i also fell down the stairs while trying to scream it to my mom and now i cant walk #I'M MOVING TO SÃO PAULO #I CAN'T BREATHE #i've been studying for 2 years for this #damn it the timing of this #I'M GOING TO BE A RESIDENT!!!!!!!#i cant stop crying i cant even type evenly #i'm so happy i'm so happy obrigada deus #sofia is going to be a resident!!!! CLINICAL MEDICINE BABY #in my top SCHOOL I CANT EVEN #OMFG 😭#personal life

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huellitaa · 2 months ago

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studying bcuz i might be a loser but at least i'm really pretty and well educated

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anishenanigans · 5 months ago

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Custom design I did for a friend!

#man I've been drawing a lot lately #which would be great if I didn't need to study for finals #furry art #sfw furry #last time I designed an anthro was probably ~2 years ago?? it's been a while.#ani's art

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drinkinggblood · 8 months ago

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the sea beneath your wings

btw pretty please use my referral code: here

#path of titans #pot #rhamphorhynchus #paleoart #pot making a good design decision is legit once every 2 years im sorry but i've been so dissapointed w the designs of their recent playable #expect for rhamp rhamp is perfect il it's design #i just HATED hateg and achillo + ouugh whatever the playable they dropped before them im sorry they had been just kinda.. boring....#il pot's rhamp it has a lot of personality in it's design and animations compared to hateg n achillo. hes a ugly diseased rat thing.#paleo art #paleontology #paleoblr #pterosaur #my art #art test #art study

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theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome · 7 months ago

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Kang Yo Han is the walking embodiment of I'm Not Okay (I Promise) and relates to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge far more than is healthy. In this essay I will-

#twabbbiih's edit #tdj #the devil judge #tw blood #kang yohan #kang yo han #a character study via legendary emo classic Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge #I put so much effort into this I really hope the fandom enjoys it #I know I don't exactly go here in a big way but guys please #girl does a tdj rewatch for the fun of it and spirals so far into making bad edits she has to try and figure out how to just get the text #from an album cover to make a mock one like some unhinged loser who barely knows how editing software works #you guys have NO IDEA #I spent an entire night pestering mid-n0vember about how this album is perfect for KYH 2 years ago and so finally I did something about it #to the end has especially been rattling around my brain for WAY TOO LONG because that is not a house or home to KYH #it's a constant reminder of the people he's lost and the horrors he suffered due to the utter shithead that was his father #ive been debating between 2 edits i did for that song for two nights and I've ended up picking the more literal one because I didn't want #too many close up images of peoples faces for this. but just know there is a file on this laptop of kyh crying while hes literally haunted #by memories of his father #I really did try to use a shot from the knife scene for the album cover because it would have been SO GOOD as a mirror to the original albu #however my editing skills are not good enough to make the background less distracting and I'm working with not HD images so it looked worse #so a moments silence for what could have been #no one asked but its 2am and that means oversharing so #Interlude absolutely had to be the on a line by itself because despite everything else going on with KYH keeping Elijah save is Rule One #it's supposed to kind of overshadow everything else because keeping her safe and unaware of Certain Things absolutely does for him #whether it actually translates is a different matter #kgo being on his knees (yet again) is what swung it for that picture otherwise it would have been kyh looking on as jae hee grabs her

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shimyereh · 6 months ago

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Done with my fourth semester of grad school!

#this semester was absolutely brutal #(very heavy load of graduate coursework — while also teaching an undergrad language class 5 days a week)#(which is why I've been pretty quiet here lately)#I am now 2/3 of the way through the coursework portion of my PhD #earned my MA #made *very* accelerated progress learning a new language (Polish)#(the equivalent of 3 yrs of language study in 2 semesters! excited to take it to the next level in the coming schoolyear)#very productive semester — and year #now I can catch up on sleep and get back to business on my own projects #this summer's focus: get my 'Onegin' publication-ready

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britomart · 1 year ago

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hello....

#what have i missed... how has it been hanging...... it's like i've woken up from a 2 month long coma but the coma #was self induced social isolation for studying #finished two of my major exams so i just have one more year to go :-)#anyways send me asks shoot me replies let me know how u all are!!!#i am so so tired i dont think a single person has asked me how i am in the past months without the response #from me being ''tired'' so if you're wondering how i'm doing 😭 that's about it

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tardis--dreams · 9 months ago

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You know what? I give up on this paper once and for all. I'm not even ashamed anymore

#okay I'm a little ashamed #it's another 5 points i have to catch up with next semester #but it's making me want to kill myself and i don't even know if the professor would still accept it #(the original deadline was in October. i got an official extension until November. i guess it'd be just rude #to ask if it was still okay to send it #especially since i haven't done any substantial work on it #it's just bad. i hate the topic. i hate the way the professor views the subject 'language and emotion'#so that i cannot write what i want but would have to tailor it towards her views because otherwise I'd fail #and also i cannot write in german. i simply can not do it. )#it's better to move on and focus on my last paper for last semester (official deadline is end of March #so I'm not behind for once)#and i should do the assignments for a module i should have finished 1 year ago #so i don't have to do that next semester #and i should start studying korean again so i don't make a complete fool of myself next semester #I have my first day of work in 2 weeks so I'll also have to focus on working (for money) from there on #I've been paralyzed by the thought of having to write this paper for way too long #the professor is not my boss anymore (i still have to work off some hours though) and even if she was #I'm so done being ashamed of myself for not being able to do certain things #i wanna give it my best from now on but not for this paper. it's done.#void screams

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roaringroa · 2 months ago

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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end

#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask #december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery #and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc #and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh #every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night #oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes #and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester #and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu #oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well #and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also #pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc #so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal #honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know #like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc #but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated #also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm #is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is #incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship #so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year #at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately #i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new #my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper #and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been #like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare #idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling #and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa

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stillfruit · 2 months ago

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i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!

#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this #i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked #so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage #could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better #my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real #otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking #spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc #what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active #so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible #without spiking my hr to zone 4 #so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything #i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards #outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is #i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me #based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not #some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works #but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again #because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now #i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog #but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less #i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis #so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important #this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty #shit talking

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rosie-lav-art · 8 months ago

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I didn't have an Anime Drawings phase as a kid, so I get to start at Middle School Level as a 27 year old 😭 at least I can only go up from here!

Please recommend a blorbo or two of yours for me to draw. I need to practice!!!!! I have so many years of practice to catch up on before I find a style I can do easily/consistently 😭

#rosie draws #doodles #Pls don't come for me I am trying my best #I know I'll get better with practice #I've already seen improvements in my anime girl 2000s style with Starlight Starbright #I'm gonna do some ranma 1/2 and inuyasha studies ses if I can't get that style down #If I drew this when I was 12 and watching death note.....i would have been over the moon with ot #I gotta remember that 12 year old Rosie would be so proud of anything I've drawn recently #12 year old Rosie figured wed never be an artist #And now I'm out here trying to learn and grow every day #I started a comic that's fucking crazy!!!! It's just a Lil one but it's something!!!

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kaurwreck · 2 months ago

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for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY

anon this is so sweet 😭

[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]

#anon i love this but i have a covenant with God so i can't kill Him with you #this reminds me of the time my brother lamented his atheism and my agnosticism on behalf of our religious mother. but i'm not agnostic.#so i clarified i believe in God and that's never changed. i just choose not to worship Him + I think there are multiple truths (incl. gods)#which is shorthand but I've never been able to explain it to others to their satisfaction and it isn't anyone else's business anyway #he thought that was MUCH worse and became so dramatic. he was genuinely so thrown. he fixated on the fact it's heresy.#which I didn't expect because like yes it's heresy but heresy is a doctrinal concept -- it doesn't have any intrinsic meaning.#and not to be dismissive but doctrine is fairly sequestered from God. It's functionally and historically a voidable social contract.#i was involved with the church/attended various bible retreats for several years before leaving. but I didn't leave over God lmao.#my institutional involvement was always contingent on its alignment with my own individual purpose/practice/rituals/bible study/covenant.#which church/community leadership knew and tried to triage in various ways but like. it's not hard to reject authority baselessly derived.#so my present relationship with God isn't any more heretical than it was when I practiced Christianity as a religion.#If anything I was maybe more heretical in funnier and more flagrant ways when I was practicing than I am now.#but anyway. my point is.#i wont help you kill god but I'm always here for heresy.#alternatively i also recommend either (1) listening to god is dead (meet the kids) by british india #which when engaged with meaningfully amounts to the same philosophical state of being as killing God #or (2) forming a reverse orphic mystery cult relationship with Him the way I did when from ages 10-14 #in other words #we can either sacrifice God to the secular age like thomas jefferson and nietzsche #or we can obsessively study the bible @ the cost of enough sleep that we (in brief spurts) access the parts of us inclined towards prophecy #those are the only two approaches to god that I'm capable of partaking in with any sincerity or intellectual honesty #and I'm unfortunately very married to sincerity and intellectual honesty.#(i'm sorry for meeting your very nice compliments with a nonsequitur illustrating why i should live as a hermit in a remote woodland shack)#(but I suppose I'm not sorry enough to remove the nonsequitur from my response prior to publication. so. take from that what you will.)

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airenyah · 10 months ago

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now that i've turned thai drama into my bachelor thesis, the only question left is: how to turn thai drama into my master's thesis

#i have about 2 years to figure this out #it's gotta be something that i can do with whatever skill level i'm at with my thai once i get there #not just the skill level but also my cultural knowledge #i'm one semester into my master's and i've already decided on a supervisor for my thesis fkfjfjf #and he even said he'd let me do this SO!!#airenyah plappert #alternatively a different idea i had was to do a translation analysis of pjo #since i have 3 different translations of the og series at home (german italian and norwegian)#i think thai would be fun tho bc i don't think the thai language is something that gets researched a lot here #we don't even have thai studies as it's own subject to study #(there's korean studies and japanese studies and chinese studies)#(there's also one major called 'south asian tibetology and buddhist studies' but they have no thai unfortunately)#(i was still thinking of doing that as a 2nd subject tho bc i'd get to learn more about buddhism which i know nothing about)#(and also they do sanskrit which could also be suuuper interesting)#(also i have so many indian mutuals and i thought it might be fun to learn about indian culture)#(and then discuss it with the mutuals and learn even more djcjjcf)#(let's see if i can manage to schedule it hfhfhc)#(bc i've also been thinking of doing theater film and media studies as a 2nd major)#(i have too many things i'm interested in send help)

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iamfuckingsorry · 1 month ago

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god this is when me avoiding all the fucking admin shit bites me in the ass.

trying to finally sort out all this fucking bullshit with my home country (where i havent lived since before i turned 18 and have no intentions of ever permanently returning to), and of course they're stuck in the 80s or something so everything needs to be signed, stamped, officially translated, approved by three different agencies etc etc etc. and of course i live in an extremely digitalized country now so everything has digital signatures (not accepted by my home country) and i can't even /get/ everything

#herr's personal tag #ugh #fuck this shit. seriously.#i possibly owe them like tens of thousands of dollars in health insurance payments #even tho i havent lived there for years and ive been covered in my current country of residence #and it's illegal to be insured in 2 EU countries at once #and also i counted as a full-time student until about a year ago and full-time students are exempt from having to pay for insurance #and of course my mother was like #“yeah i got it all sorted”#well #turns out im so fucking stupid i cant even believe it. because of course it's fucking not #and like i know she's full of shit sometimes and i've heard her say stuff related to this that i know was incorrect #i so should have known better. but here we are #so now i gotta #1. fucking finally deregister from both the country and the insurance company so this doesn't keep getting worse #(at least this should be doable tho there might be a fine included for not doing it earlier)#2. get a bunch of documents from my high school and uni #and get those approved as equivalent to full-time studies of the appropriate level #which is gonna be fun because not all of these even exist over here and also my degree was an integrated masters #so there's no clear undergrad/grad division #3. try to retroactively apply to have my insurance payments from all these years forgiven #also 4. get proof that i've been insured over here for the past 10 years and shouldn't owe any insurance payments anyway #because being insured in two countries is impossible under EU law #and also try and get the payments forgiven that way #ughhhhhhhhh #and there's no guarantee they'll accept any of this as i'm doing it all retroactively #and i don't know what my mom has/hasn't done in relation to this as she's definitely faked some power of attorneys etc in the past #and she will 100% lie about this #srsly fuck all this shit. i'm also moving to yet another country in 2 weeks. it's gonna be sooo much fun

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magentagalaxies · 7 months ago

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girl help how do i prioritize (not actually asking for advice just ranting). i have a performance tomorrow that's technically part of my final but also the Events of the last week on campus it's technically optional. but that being said i really want to be memorized for that performance and put the time in to make it really good bc even if it isn't graded it's still an opportunity for me to test out new aubrey material (and i'm definitely gonna film it and send it to bellini). i have to turn in a "final" for my independent study which is just my way to get credit for the buddy cole doc, but that final is editing a ten minute piece out of my tour footage and because of the Events i think i will get more grace if it's not a great edit but i need to turn something in by wednesday. i have a final for my history class that's just a presentation and i've already made the powerpoint and researched so i'm confident i can improvise (it's fairly low stakes) BUT i still have to do a quiz for my history class that was due last week but i somehow missed and i haven't been able to get to it bc stressed about finals and also the Events but since it was assigned before the Events i don't think i'll get the same grace as post-Events assignments, and this quiz is worth like 10% of my grade so i need to turn something in like even tho i currently have an A in that class and Cs get degrees i still don't know what grade i'll get on my final so better safe than get a zero on the quiz but i have no motivation since it's not a final like the rest of my stuff (even if the aubrey thing is lowkey not graded??? even before the Events that class had a unique grading system so i already know i've got an A in that class regardless this is just like an optional showcase). and i also have a zoom with bruce tomorrow for the buddy cole doc which i'm very excited for but also will have to plan around the amount of hours in the day i have left to get things done lmao

anyway it's wild being in finals week bc half of me is like "i just wanna go hoooome alreadyyyy" but the other half is like "holy fuck there is too much to do i need an extra week to get it all done"

but anyway less than a week from today i'm gonna be done with my penultimate semester of college (graduating in december!!!) and i have literally zero plans for the months of may and june rn so like. i know i'm going to get incredibly bored super quickly but like one of my favorite inspirational quotes is that tumblr post that was like "in two weeks you will have different problems" and yeah that sure is true

#i remember some people on that post being like ''that's not comforting the problems are endless''#but i saw that quote for the first time when i was like 12 days away from my production of other girls and SUPER stressed #so i was like. yeah that's actually a great thought i'm still gonna have to do things in 2 weeks but it won't be what i'm working on rn #anyway i am also obviously grateful for most of the things making me busy of course #bc like. my finals are literally performing my favorite new aubrey monologue i've written in the past few months #and i have to rewatch a bunch of scott tour footage for the independent study video #and like i remember just a year ago getting to zoom with bruce was such an event it would be the most important part of my day #and all i could talk about for weeks leading up to it #and obviously i'm still super excited to get to talk to bruce the only negative thing is how busy i am with everything else #and having to do time-management factoring in my classes alongside the zoom #also when i refer to the Events that has to do with like the protests happening on campus etc.#like my college has been in the news lately for some shit #and like. yes it's a very important issue and it's really altered the climate on campus and added to everyone's anxieties #however i do NOT want to talk about it. like i support the cause but for the sake of my own mental health i will only talk about it as much #as referring to it vaguely like i did in the post.#anyway i should sleep i have a 10am class tomorrow that i might have to present my final in

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arctic-hands · 1 year ago

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My last bout of sleep paralysis (which was when I was recently hospitalized for nine days and getting no sleep because literally almost every half hour someone was waking me up for vitals or a blood drawl or to give me medicine or to prod my stomach or the attending bringing in the interns because I'm a great case study or because my infusion pump wanted to make obnoxious noises for no reason) was so horrific that when I told my therapist about it yesterday she visibly paled and freaked out on my behalf. Is that a good sign?

#would have loved if i had been hooked up to the heart monitor at the time to see how fast my heartrate shot up while it happened #and it would have been mildly amusing to see the nurses freak out over it #coincidentally and predictably my nurse did in fact come in a few minutes later to give me my meds #at like 2 a.m. because that's just how schedules roll i guess #and she say ME all pale and bug eyed as i desperately tried to distract myself on my phone because i didn't want to fall asleep again #and when she asked me what was wrong and i told her she clucked her tongue and said honey i wouldn't want to sleep after that either #I've had four boughts of it over the last six years or so which doesn't sound like an lot but one time is enough for me #so I'm gonna ask my PCP this week for a sleep study #sleep paralysis #sleep disorder #nightmare #the art i made about the sleep paralysis disturbed my therapist but i thought it was rather mild in comparison to the actual hallucination #art therapy #sleep deprivation

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