#i've been reading/watching a lot of Fucked Up Women media

[nemaliwrites]

you know when you watch or read something and it's like..this is Me. I could have made this. i Should have made this.

thinking about that thing from Seven Drafts where she says "That’s the power of envy—it’s fuel. Every time you look at someone else’s accomplishment and get that sick, hollow feeling of that should be mine, that’s the universe saying, You’re right. They aren’t any more special than you are. It means you’re getting closer."

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Being Wallace Wells' Trans Boyfriend

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

EDIT: Although this fic was written with a more binary trans reader in mind, I'm hoping this fic will also be suitable for AFAB nonbinary people who are masc or male adjacent, which is where I might be at. I'm currently working dating hcs for Wallace with a nonbinary reader (which will be suitable for both AFAB and AMAB readers).

Relationship(s): Wallace Wells x transmasc!reader (romantic)

Warnings/info: Trans typical stuff, like dysphoria, transphobia etc. etc., sexual remarks, he/him pronouns for reader, headcanons were written in one sitting, when I was feeling not great. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: I've been reading a lot of Succession fics over the last few days. Last night I read a Roman Roy fic and for some reason it gave me this overpowering wave of dysphoria that I still have yet to fully recover from. Annoyingly, I have yet to actually watch Succession so this could have been avoided; I just think Kieran Culkin's hot and very gender so I couldn't resist pretending that someone with his face was my boyfriend. Reading about Roman made me think 'oh shit. Maybe I'm a flawed and pathetic little guy on the inside. But I just look like a woman who likes to kiss women and everyone treats me like a girl and uses my girl name and girl pronouns and that feels super gross and makes me want to live in a hole. Now I'm going to feel bad about that for the next few days.' So, yeah, I'm having another transmasc crisis that I'm using fanfiction to get me through. I figured Kieran Culkin started this, so I might as well write something featuring a character of his that I can actually write for. This is a self-indulgent and self-explorative treat for myself, but I hope that transmasc readers can enjoy this, too. If you'd like more Wallace stuff, trans stuff or Wallace AND trans stuff, feel free to send in a request. I really want to provide more fics for transmasc readers because you guys are super underrepresented (and, y'know, Papa Gonzo-rella wants to explore his gender a little more). Also, I swear that I will get around to watching Succession, and I more than likely will end up writing for it when I do.)

Respectfully, Wallace does not give a shit that you’re trans.

Of course, he doesn’t flat-out ignore it, because it’s part of who you are, but it isn’t an obstacle in your relationship by any means, and it doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

If you’re feeling dysphoric and/or otherwise insecure about yourself, he’ll pinch your cheeks and tell you how handsome and sexy you are.

If you’re feeling especially bad, like ‘not getting out of bed and hiding from the world’ bad, he’ll keep you company and say what he can to reassure you.

Being mushy and sincere truly isn’t his thing, so whatever he says will sound either slightly insensitive (but still pretty sensitive as far as Wallace goes), facetious or like he wants you to get over how you’re feeling so he can fuck you.

But, he genuinely doesn’t want you to feel bad and you can tell he cares, because otherwise he wouldn’t be there for you when you're feeling your worst.

Wallace is very affirming, but in his own Wallace way.

He lovingly refers to you as his lameass boyfriend.

If Scott ever compliments you about anything, Wallace will call him gay.

He will shout ‘gay’, like the Senor Chang meme.

"Hey, man, I like your shirt-"

"Ha, Scott's gay!"

"I-I'm not gay! I just like his shirt."

"What's wrong with being gay, Scott?"

"Nothing! There's nothing wrong with being gay!"

"You really need to work on your internalised homophobia, Scott. To think, my gay lover and I share a bed with a bigot."

If you’re doing anything that he knows will make you dysphoric or exacerbate your dysphoria (for example, scrolling through social media and looking at cis dudes that give you gender envy) he’ll shut it down.

Using the aforementioned example, he’ll snatch your phone off you and close the app, saying: “Nope. Make better decisions.”

And, while you’d initially be annoyed at him for grabbing your phone, you will appreciate it in the long run.

If you have testosterone shots but you’re not a fan of doing them yourself, he’ll begrudgingly help you with them.

He will make a very Wallace comment, though

“Stabbing? I didn’t know you were that kinky.”

If anyone’s a dick to you about being trans, Wallace is always ready to go with a snide remark about the other person, because of all the things you could possibly mock his lameass boyfriend for, being trans is at the bottom of that list.

(He should know, as the person who makes fun of you the most.)

Also, he cares about you very, very much and he doesn't want people being transphobic to his boyfriend.

If you’re cool with it, he will make trans jokes, but nothing ‘attack helicopter’ or ‘attack helicopter’ adjacent, because he’s too clever for that and he can come up with better material that isn’t just derivative, transphobic garbage.

If you get your period and it makes you at all dysphoric, be prepared for this exchange:

“Don’t worry. Scott pissed blood last month and cried about it and he’s still a man.”

“Did-did he go to the doctor?”

“I don’t know. He seems fine now, though.”

If you still have boobs and don’t mind them being touched or otherwise acknowledged, he will use them like a pillow.

If you decide to get top surgery, he will make the following request:

“Well, if you’re not using them, can I have them? I need a pillow that Scott won’t steal. And, he wouldn’t steal your tits, because he knows I’d call him gay for it.”

“Why are you like this, Wallace?”

“Selfish.”

Being trans doesn’t make your relationship much different from any of Wallace’s other relationships.

You’re just, for better or worse, another one of Wallace’s boyfriends.

[bluespiritshonour]

Somethings I noticed:

Katara, Suki and Azula are the only ones who haven't ever expressed any sort of misogynistic sentiment.

Aang would come a close second with minor mishaps here and there.

First, the girls:

Ty Lee, while fighting the Kyoshi Warriors: you're not prettier than we are.

Girl, where did that come from?

Mai has several instances of this when she says the Kyoshi Warriors’ uniforms are too girly (I don't mind her not liking how colourful they are; that's totally different) and later lowkey slut-shaming Ty Lee. And while she's rightfully unimpressed with Zuko's seashell (she's right Zuko, step-up your game) she could easily have countered his “Don't girls like these stuff?” the way Suki did with Sokka’s ideas about gendered generalisation. Also, you must have noticed that Mai's feminine too. She's just dark feminine to Ty Lee's light feminine.

Toph: she has absorbed a lot of toxic masculinity that's for sure. She isn't feminine, she light-heartedly teases Katara for being feminine and Aang too. She does give off the “one of the guys” vibes. You know which ones I'm talking about. “Are we going to watch two little girls fighting?” and later mocking Aang for his passivity.

But it is to be noted that Toph manages to do this without being racist to Aang. She's the one who mocks him the most about his pacifist beliefs (which are cultural to him) and she's kinda misogynistic the way she goes about it. But she's never racist to him. (I guess she is in the comics but fuck the comics). Even when Aang was really really nasty to her when Appa was stolen and she had every right to be mad at him—she wasn't. Given her age and her sheltered upbringing Toph's surprisingly mature. But I digress. Among the comics, I love the Lost Adventures only—and I love the spa day Katara and Toph have both in those comics and in the show. It feels like Toph's healing from that internalised misogyny? My reading of it is that just like girls in real world, Toph derides femininity because it has always been a chain to her. Her parents forced her to confirm so she hates it. But being friends with Katara probably let her heal that part of her. She's still not as feminine as Katara and mind you, nor should she be—let some girls never want to be feminine—it’s fine. But she learns to not to act out of a place of hurt.

Sokka: Sokka's misogyny was literally a plot point and he overcomes it. Also he and Aang have actually done drag and not been mocked for it. It's rare to see in media. The only other example I can think of is Good Omens.

His misogyny also feels kinda surface level (as opposed to Zuko in whom it's less obvious but seems more deeply ingrained).

Also. Zuko never did drag. Shame on him.

Aang: is the least misogynistic of the boys. The only instances I can think of are either kinda vague: when he tells Sokka that “It's nice dress!” It's kinda ambiguous if his tone was mocking or complimentary but it upsets Sokka nonetheless. And when he's upset at being played by a woman in Ember Island Players. The first time I watched it I felt it was OOC. But he was also kind of justified as it was racism and misogyny combined on behalf of the Fire Nation in portraying him that way.

Phew. These were purely my own opinions simply by the virtue of gender expression meaning different things to different people. I might say Mai is actually quite feminine while Toph isn't... But what even is considered masculine or feminine?

I love Katara and Toph's spa day because Toph learns that being girly wouldn't kill her—but she also doesn't suddenly become Ty Lee levels of feminine either. Some women just don't wanna be feminine. Oftentimes it's because femininity is derided by society itself—and that's something that one needs to heal from, like Toph did with Katara’s friendship—but everytime I've seen a story like that, the girl, upon realising that femininity isn't a bad thing is suddenly hyper-feminine.

Like, can we have them heal from internalised misogyny and still not wanna be feminine—even though they don't consider it bad or embarassing or fickle anymore?

Toph and Katara’s spa days do it perfectly.

When those girls mock Toph and Katara tells her she's pretty, I can't tell you much I loved it. The same feelings toward Suki’s “I am a warrior, but I'm a girl too.”

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

Feeling really nostalgic about July 17-18, 2008, the last time I believed in Joss Whedon

It was just cool, you know? Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog dropped in three separate pieces over the course of the week. We'd get 15 minutes of story, and then two days to froth over the whys and wherefores in Livejournal comments before the next piece came out. And those days were so good.

Buffy fans are so fucking smart, y'all. They could combine academic rigor with unselfconscious fangirl squee. Squee was a hermeneutical method, a mode of interrogating the text--one we often dismiss and diminish, because if there's anything grosser than teenage girls getting goopy over a vampire they like, it's 30 or 50 or 70-year-old women getting goopy over a vampire they like. But it's similar to what I've seen called a "redemptive reading". You approach a piece of media specifically looking for its best parts, the pieces you love the best, and you allow yourself to fully embody the joy of liking something and caroling your joy to other people who like it too. In a perpetually burned-out time, squee can be like a desert oasis.

So the people who liked Buffy and Angel and Firefly watched Doctor Horrible in a manner both squeeful and intersectionally feminist, and saw all the amazing interesting things it was doing, showing how insecure geek masculinity fundamentally self-sabotages the main character, Billy, because the relationship he wants has been there in reach for months, and it's his own perception that he needs to be an alpha male warrior that has kept him from it. It interrogated the entire genre of costumed heroes, with two men thumping their chests and comparing their dick sizes, and none of them doing anything as direct and helpful for their society as Penny, the woman who stands on sidewalks collecting signatures to help a homeless shelter.

Part II came out on July 17, and the series would end with Part III on July 19. So on July 18, I spent most of the day reading Livejournal comments about it. There were all these theories: Maybe Penny was secretly Bad Horse, the archvillain whose approval Billy has craved since the beginning. Maybe she will collapse the love triangle with Billy's rival, Captain Hammer, by acting on her clearly-demonstrated discomfort and dumping him. Maybe Billy will learn that relationships are based on intimacy, not being The Best. Maybe Penny will become a superhero and replace Captain Hammer as Billy's nemesis. Maybe Billy will succeed and rule the world and give Penny Australia.

And then... none of those things happened. Joss Whedon ended the series in a way less progressive, less imaginative, less cool, than even the most half-baked fan theory out there. The story opened up possibilities to break out of an old, tired, toxic set of stories around men and women and sex and heroics, and then hid under a rock rather than change a single one of them.

July 19 was the day I concluded that while Joss Whedon might have his own baggage to work through about toxic masculinity, and artists have the right to make work meaningful to them, he wasn't making art that was meaningful to me. And I basically stopped expecting anything of him.

And then, for years, Buffy fans, educated and squeeful feminists and sharp pop culture critics, got told they were crazy histrionic SJWs for thinking Whedon didn't shit solid gold. For years. (I recently saw a video essay that included the line, "If you have the phrase 'mewling quim' branded onto your memory, you probably need some Metamucil" and, ouch, rude.)

There was so much excitement! A lot of us actually believed in the guy (although even then, there was enough evidence for many people to suspect what we now know to be 100% true about him.)

We wanted it to be good. We wanted to enjoy it.

I miss that feeling.

[destinygoldenstar]

Due to the results of the election, things look bleak. And I live in a red state.

So in case anything were to happen, I want to be open about my experiences a lot more. I'm going to try and live as long as I possibly can, and I can tell you that if I get jailed, assaulted, or killed, it's NOT by my hands.

I'm an asexual lesbian woman in my twenties. I live in a red state.

When Donald Trump became president the first time, I was still a kid. So I couldn't get too caught in the crossfire of what he was doing during that term. That, and I had not figured out my identity yet. It wasn't until a couple months after Trump became president that I discovered from Internet browsing that "Wait, men x woman is NOT the only form of romantic love that exists? You can do that?"

Before that, I've been writing since I was six, never stopped and became self taught how to write fiction. Even as a kid, when I was a shit writer and just ripping off from the media I consumed, I would always make the straight pairings a 'friendship' between two girls instead. Because it was what I understood then. For awhile, after I got out of the phase, I dismissed that as me being a mansogynistic child. But no, turns out there was more to the story than that.

There was other things that became hints as well before I became aware who I was. When the other girls in my school were gushing about cute boys and teasing about 'do you like this boy? You talk to him so obviously you like him.' I would be in my corner minding my own business, not interested in the topic. When it was directly targeted at me, I would say 'yeah I like him', because due to my autism, either my reaction sent mixed communication signals, or I would think they meant platonically. Then they would either tease that I confessed to romance, or they would get I got it wrong and say 'I meant as a boyfriend'. And I wouldn't answer because I didn't want to be rude.

What was wrong with only seeing boys as friends? Well back then where I was from, everyone assumes everyone is straight. A boy talks to a girl, obviously they're gonna smooch.

So I, as someone who didn't know queerness existed, had to assume I was like that as well. And I was just "Not old enough to get it".

And then as I get older, that mindset turns into 'men and women always want to kiss and fuck each other all the time'.

But I wasn't interested in that at all, especially not the fucking. But there was no awareness of queerness in public and I didn't use social media, so I had to assume I was like that as well, just that I wasn't old enough to get it.

Which that became a weird excuse, I learned how babies were made when I was SEVEN.

All the while, while I NEVER dreamed of ever fucking anyone, I still had some PG-Loving fantasies about the women in those 'girls cartoons' I'd watch. Winx Club, Totally Spies, the Disney Princess Movies, etc. I read the Sailor Moon manga ALL THE TIME in Middle School. I was NEVER interested in the boys they were into, and I would never get it. Even as a kid.

Maybe I was just someone who was into femininity. Maybe it was something about how they'd stylize their hair or fashion, or their softer voices, or their more delicate approaches that touched my heart. In a way male characters didn't.

Later I would realize that applied to real life too.

Then my family watched the Cinderella Live Action Remake, and let's say, I found it magical. After the movie, my mom told me "You'll find your prince one day."

She assumed I was straight. Like everyone does before they get told otherwise. She assumed I was fantasizing about the prince that swept her off her feet. But... I wasn't. I was more interested in Cinderella herself and her pretty dress and eyes and how she stood up for herself to leave her abusive household. (Celebrity Crush?)

Then there's when my family got me in the MCU. You know, before Phase 4, which after that... EW.

My family would always GUSH about how CUTE these MEN were, as celebrity crushes. And they kept saying this was completely normal. My mom was a HUGE Captain America kinnie, my sister was into Thor (& Aquaman), etc. And I... did not get it. I didn't get any crushes on any of these guys. I liked them as characters, but crush? No.

And my mom was confused by it. Why isn't my daughter blushing mad at these movie men?! "Well maybe she'll like the actor for *this new MCU male character that shows up later*."

Nope. Nothing.

You know which celebrity from the MCU I did consider hot though? Scarlet Johansen. But I was casual about it and didn't say a word and kept it to myself.

I guess it clicked to me too late what I was ACTUALLY interested in.

Not in a 'I wanna fuck them' way. HELL NO. But I am an ace who doesn't have a problem with casual kissing. Dating someone? Sure. Potentially marrying someone one day? Of course. Isn't that normal romance and what people value in their crushes? (In person crushes, obviously.)

And then there was my 'first boyfriend'. BIG quote on quote there. He was a guy a year older than me in my school that CLEARLY was crushing on me. He would constantly follow me around to try and talk to me awkwardly, compliment me, etc. (Would I say 'stalker'? Not really. He could've been worse.) And I just found it AWKWARD.

He once tried to put his arm around me lovingly, and I was uncomfortable and made an excuse to leave.

I later talked to my mom about it, and she suggested I avoid him. And I did. I never talked to him again.

Was that the right call? Not sure. But I don't want to know what relationship that would've been if I did accept his loving gestures.

And he was just the first. Through Late Middle School and Early High School, a TON of boys were after me and wanted me. And they became OBNOXIOUS about it. And EVERY TIME they confessed their love to me, I would always, right there and in front of everyone, reject them.

That didn't stop them, as they would proceed to bully me about it and get in my face about them LOVING me. Or something.

It turns out most of them were just a 'this girl is hot' thing. Some even admitted that. I asked one guy what he liked about me. He said "looks". And when I asked, "Anything else?" And he said "Nope."

That boy was a MISOGYNISTIC PIG btw. And NO SHAME too. He constantly bullied me and made jabs at me, and he said the reasons were, "Because you are a woman. You belong in the kitchen."

I'm NOT exaggerating, btw. This is actually straight up what he said.

From then I became self aware and insecure about my appearance. Like, I'm hot? People think I'm hot? For awhile, I wanted to try and ruin my appearance so I wasn't so 'traditionally attractive'. I would draw a marker all over my skin, for example.

I mean, sure, these boys were assholes. And sure, people there, before I moved, hated my personality. They like my appearance, but the moment they get a taste of who I am, they say, "What a WASTE of good looks for a woman."

But I DO NOT want this to come across as "I'm queer because I hate men". Because I don't. It was just where I was and how the boys treated me back then. Nowadays, I have a couple of male friends who are good people, and don't treat me like dirt. It's just that I only consider them friends.

Combine all of these experiences, and I guess I subconsciously realized "OH MY GOD... I'M GAY."

But I never CONSCIOUSLY wanted to confront that. You know?

I only knew of the gay people on TV at the time. And in real life, I only knew one girl that was also lesbian, but uh... she was toxic, and really hurt me, and I DON'T want talk about that.

Everyone else in my real life was straight. And openly so. I was the ONLY person in my life that wasn't. And without social media (I didn't get it till I was a proper adult), I thought I was a broken human being.

"I couldn't like girls! I'm a girl! I'm supposed to like boys! I just haven't found the right boy yet, that's all! I'm not queer! I'm not broken! I can't be more broken than I already am!"

And people already WEREN'T very accepting about me being autistic. Something I outted. And what proceeded was years of bullying, discrimination, and ridicule. Even from adults. So if anyone started to process I was gay? I WOULD BE DEAD.

And then it happened. This AMAZING girl is a part of my life, and something clicked between us. And I started to process that she really liked me. (She's demisexual) I mean, I already knew she did, we've been friends for awhile before this, but there were other feelings she was blossoming for me. Romantic feelings. I didn't confront her about it because I had to think about it myself. And then I realized it myself. I had feelings for a real life person. Romantic feelings.

A couple months later, we confessed to each other, and we became official. I'm still with her to this day, and we're in a very loving healthy relationship and we feel safe and supportive of each other.

I wish I could say that I 'came out' properly to my parents, but I didn't. Six months into my relationship, my mom caught us, and found out.

I didn't tell my parents I was gay, they found out. Simple as that.

One, it had to do with fear that they wouldn't accept me. Two, I found it RIDICULOUS that only gay people have to come out.

Straight people don't! Everyone just assume you're straight until you tell them otherwise! At least bi and pan people have an easier time pretending they only like the opposite sex!

So I just... didn't want to tell them.

I did end up coming out to my cousin on the phone, the first person I properly came out to. And all he said was a casual, "Okay. Nothing wrong with that."

Which did make me feel better and understand I wasn't broken and I was valid.

So when my mom found out about us, she confronted me about it. And I told the truth and confirmed that I was in a relationship with another girl. And... she only expressed confusion. She said I could be whatever I wanted to be, but it's clear she didn't understand it at all. Neither of my parents did.

A few days later they made it clear that even if they didn't understand it, they were going to accept me, and they broke my fears by making it clear they were not going to disown me.

My mom told me that I shouldn't be open about my sexuality to anyone else. It's 'inappropriate'. "We will accept you, but there are people in this world that won't. They will bully you to no end and hurt you."

To which I responded, "They already don't accept me."

Referring to the years of bullying I endured for my autism.

I mean, to this day, I still love my family, and are grateful they love me and want to do everything for me. But only now is my mom getting around to trying to understand my autism through research. There's something to be said about whenever we're in public, or my mom is talking to a friend of hers, she refers to me and my GF as 'best friends' and nothing more. Or how she talks about how I haven't found a boyfriend yet.

It's because of this, that when asked, I use the vague gender neutral term 'partner' when talking about my relationship in public. So while I'm not 'hiding', I'm not opening myself up for backlash either.

It just, sometimes, feels weird. While my family and my GF's family accept us, everyone else in our families are straight, as far as I know. We are the only two queer people in our family.

As for my asexual side of my identity and how I figured that out, there's not as much to the story other than what I've already said. I never found any desire to have sex with anyone, and I found the explicit material of that subject matter revolting. I always did, and I never grew out of that. Whenever someone at school started talking about something sex related, I turned the opposite direction.

One time I couldn't, much after I got my relationship, and I said very bluntly I didn't care about sex. Then they asked "Are you asexual?"

And I researched it, and realized, "Yep. That sums it up."

I told my GF that same day, honesty is the best policy after all, and she strongly accepted me and promised not to make me do anything I was uncomfortable with. And she never did. Love her.

I did research, and realized, YES, Asexual Lesbians EXIST. You can be Asexual AND be a Lesbian. There's no contradiction.

It just makes my identity more specfic.

I admit, I'm still trying to come to terms with my identity and that I'm not broken. There are times where I feel like I am, whether it's liking girls the way I'm supposed to like boys, or having no sexual desire.

And still, to this day, where I work, ALL of my other co-workers are straight. Or at least, either straight, or hiding. I am the ONLY queer person I know in my community. (Well, aside from my GF, obviously)

So when the Election happened, is it any wonder how scared I'd be?

I casually admitted to a few of my co-workers that I'm dating a woman. And I haven't been 'harassed' by any of them. Mostly because where I work, there's a bullying policy and they would get fired.

But NOW? Living in a red state? With people I work with and for casually supporting Trump's win? I feel UNSAFE. I feel ALONE. I feel like if I tell someone the truth, I'd get arrested or assaulted or something. It's bad enough that I'm a woman. But an autistic woman? A queer woman? BAD COMBINATION.

Just the other day I was working, I confessed to being terrified of the election results, and why. And there were two people I told this to.

One of them gave me a warm and caring hug and told me I would be looked after and we would be okay.

The other person I told this to looked at me in confusion and told me, "There's nothing to be scared of. Things would be far worse if Harris won."

I don't like Harris either, but they don't know that. Trump WAS in office once, so we had something to go off of.

I should be appreciative that the place I work at has told me I'll always have a safe place there and nobody that works there will hurt me, and they wouldn't let anyone hurt me if they could help it. And I am.

But there's something to be said about the people around me DISMISSING my fears. Dismissing that I am at far more risk of assault now. Dismissing that I could lose my opportunities to work and get money to feed myself now, if any laws are to get signed against neurodivergent people. Dismissing that there's now going to be more backlash for queer people more than ever, and people that will treat me like a disgrace and a villain.

Living in a red state makes this worse. My body is sensitive. If I ever get pregnant from rape, I could DIE. My GF is on disability, so if she ever gets pregnant, she could DIE. We both could DIE.

But I wanted to get my story out on the Internet, because if that ever were to happen, if in the future I get killed, I want to make it clear that I am choosing not to give up now in the present day. I am choosing to live with myself. And I am choosing to NOT abandon my GF and stay with her. Even with the backlash we'll get. Because I love her, and it's nobody's choice but my own to be with her.

Because THIS IS ME. And no one can take that away from me.

And whether I die from getting killed, or I survive the four years and die of old age, I choose to die as ME. And as nobody else.

And my story will be here, so even if it gets lost, it can be found.

You Are Not Alone. We Are In This Fight Together.

Keep Living. Keep Holding On. They Can't Take Our Identities Away From Us.

[tobiasdrake]

Are you officially gone from TV Tropes? Haven't seen you on any of the forum threads for a while now.

I pop in from time to time to lurk on some threads, but I'm not actively following things there the way I used to. I've been focusing a lot on Tumblr lately.

But I've always had less online time in general lately, as these last couple months have involved a substantial amount of adulting.

I'm finding I enjoy the format of Tumblr a lot better than internet forums. There's less pressure to respond to people here. I can shoot opinions out into the wild and people can take or leave them as they will, and then everyone just moves on.

In a forum, everybody's in one room vying to duke it out with whoever spoke last. Everything has to be such a debate. Everybody's always competing to prove how smart they are and how right their position on whether Batman can beat up Superman is.

And I just. I don't have the mental space for that anymore. I haven't for years. I'm in my late thirties now; I don't want to fistfight someone in the Denny's parking lot over Spider-Man movies.

And I'm also just so tired of long, drawn-out arguments with people who clearly aren't reading what I'm saying, and just respond to the general idea of my point that they've heard from others. Then make me out to be the bad guy because they've made it into an argument and dragged it out for pages on end.

"Ugggh, there goes Drake answering questions and clarifying misinterpretations of what he was saying again. Why does he always have to drone on and on about this every time people keep pushing the topic back onto him? Why won't he just drop the topic we keep responding to him about?"

TvTropes is an echo chamber governed by mob consensus. They like to say that they're just... pro-positivity towards media. "We are a website for celebrating media," is the pitch. Threads that exist purely to complain about a piece of media are forbidden and the general belief is that if a fan and a critic are arguing, the critic is always wrong.

But that's a lie, because the forum has plenty of complaining threads. The Sonyverse thread exists purely so everyone can shit on the Sonyverse and talk about how dumb Sony is for ever thinking these films could work. And also conspiracy theories about Venom's success being fake.

In actuality, TvTropes is governed by mob rule. The community has an opinion consensus about a piece of media, and if you disagree with the consensus then you're wrong. You're not supposed to talk shit about the MCU in the MCU thread but you're also not supposed to defend the Sonyverse in the Sonyverse thread, and either of these positions will incite the furious mob. It's an echo chamber.

For a long time now, it's become my policy on TvTropes to just say my piece and then fuck off and not respond to whoever gets uppity about it. Just fire off an opinion and then bail. Because I don't want to fistfight you in the Denny's parking lot, and if I actually respond to questions being asked then I put a target on my back.

And that's just. Not any fun for me. I didn't like the movie. Seven pages of screeching at me about it isn't going to make me like the movie. That's kind of the thing about media discourse? Even if you have the facts on your side, you're never going to change someone's mind by vanquishing them in the Arena of Logic.

No one has ever gone, "Oh, you're right, Black Widow's death technically does not qualify as Women in Refrigerators because she had agency in it. The scene is therefore good now. My qualms have been quelled and I will now defend this movie with my life." At the end of the day, we're just using words to describe how the thing made us feel. You might outmaneuver my words in a clash of verbal blades. But my feelings live on. You cannot slay them in semantic jousting.

And I've long given up on trying.

This is where Debate Bros will say "Well, my goal isn't to convince YOU but to convince ALL OF THE PEOPLE WATCHING US," as if sharing opinions on whether Batman can beat up Superman carries the same cultural gravitas as a Presidential Debate.

I use media discourse the way other people use fanfic. To express the feelings and ideas that are burning in my brain and need an outlet, need to go somewhere. On TvTropes, that always has to turn into a fight, because everyone in a forum environment has to have opinions about everyone else's opinions and we're all expected to civilly scream at each other until the mob consensus has been formed and the Official TvTropes Opinion is reached.

But on Tumblr, I can just throw my opinions out into the wild. And if people like them, they'll get Notes and maybe even start doing numbers. And if people don't, then they'll just be left to the void of forgotten statements. Either way, I can move on with my life after saying it, you can move on with your life after reading it or not read it at all, and we can all just go do something else.

That's basically how I try to use TvT these days, but on Tumblr that's actually the culture. It's what's expected. And so I find myself drawn more and more to the calming void of Tumblr over the combative civility of TvTropes.

[kay0783]

I have some questions for those who are autistic/neurodivergent and have AHDH:

1) How long did it take for you to get diagnosed and

2)What advice would you give to those who believe they *might* be on the spectrum?

To put a long story short, one of my favorite animators on YouTube released a video talking about how she was diagnosed with AuDHD. I've always been a big fan of hers because I felt like I could relate to her, even though I could never pin point why. Once I watched the video and she explained all her symptoms/the way she functioned, I realized that (nearly) everything she spoke about is something I can relate to and struggle with.

I just want to clarify that in no way shape or form am I trying to "claim" having ADHD or autistic without any diagnosis. Ever since I realized I relate to the youtuber's overall functioning, I started doing some research and popped into some neurodivergent social media communities just to see what other peoples' lives were like with an official diagnosis. And 🥳surprise🥳... I once again found myself relating to a lot of experiences people were talking about.

What I've come across in some general research is that:

A) autism is caused by a genetic mutation + genetics (pls correct me if I'm wrong)

Genetic mutations run in my family and I even have a family member who suspects they are on the spectrum as well

B) Autism, specifically in women and girls, is often misdiagnosed as other disorders.

When I was 11 I was diagnosed with 8 mood disorders (a variety of anxiety and depression disorders), and vaguely remember a comment on some sort of platform that being diagnosed with an absurd amount of disorders is usually a sign that there is a much bigger, underlying issue at hand.

And C) not everyone with autism or AuDHD functions the same, yet there is not much research done on women with autism.

Again, I've read that there are many 'quirks' and ways in which neurodivergent people act, think, and speak. It's just kinda frustrating because my whole life I've been suffering with a mountain of other disorders and have had to be prescribed medications and go through a fuck tone of therapy sessions......all for something that doctors may not have picked up on, and misdiagnosed.

In no way do I mean to bash any medical professionals. I get that there's not a lot of understanding of what autism is like in other groups other than white, cis males (again, no offense, it's just what I've read). For crying out loud, my own mother worked YEARS as a special Ed teacher for students with down syndrome and are extreme cases of autism, but that kinda adds to my frustration because if she never noticed anything, then am I making this all up??? Am I losing my mind??? It sure feels like it. But at the same time it doesn't because when I read posts from people with autism and ADHD, so many things start piecing themselves together and just. make. sense. Idk how to word it. I do so many things that make it hard to function day-to-day, and when I listen to others like me, I feel seen and heard for the first time. For the first time I'm thinking that I might not be crazy.

So, long story (not so) short, is it worth me looking into getting an assessment? What if the medical professionals don't believe me? How long does it take to get a diagnosis?

(If there are any medical professionals out there who are willing and able to give some advice, please feel free to comment).

[the-bloody-sadist]

Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

Ooooooooo I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!! THAT'S SO FASCINATING! THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ME! If my friends know anything about me it's that I LOVE to psychoanalyze, so let's see what I can do here *cracks every knuckle*---

I'll preface by saying I have NOT read any het romance in the MANGA world at least--or otherwise japanese/chinese/korean sources--but did grow up only reading/watching/writing that and thinking I hated romance in general because it was so fucking boring LMAO. If I can compare any het media to non-American BL media, I would have to say anime is my only reference!

With that said, I came through the same arc you did. I tried het romance my whole life, suddenly fell upon BL, said WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY IS IT SO GOOD COMPARED TO THE SHIT I'VE BEEN READING, never went back to het romance, and now do BL in all shapes and forms full-time.

What seems to be the big factor in BL/yaoi being so much more enjoyable is that there's an inherent difference in the dynamic of male/male vs. male/female--as portrayed by media, at least. And there's just something about that dynamic that makes it more gripping. It's easier to feel that line of tension between the characters, not to mention the fact that most male/male couples' conflict is far more relatable than the ones I see in female/male. In het media, I tend to see incredibly petty choices of conflict, whereas a LOT of BL chooses trauma, mental illness, and sometimes the acceptance of being gay as the reasons the couples struggle.

I identify far more with those issues than I do with the more stupid conflicts I see in het media like "HE'S WITH ANOTHER GIRL WHATEVER SHALL I DO!" (and it's just his sister) or "HOW DO I KNOW IF I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM? MAYBE I DON'T! LET ME THROW HIM FOR LOOPS AND GO BACK AND FORTH!" and other common, annoying tropes. Especially the jealousy and love triangles. BL does some love triangles, but it's just less...petty? There are usually more founded issues for the conflict that comes from those situations.

I say this with hesitation, but I also feel that BL/yaoi tends to have more creative and unseen concepts than het media. Actually--erase that hesitation. I believe that wholeheartedly. They tend to choose traumatic situations more often than het media--and this is the important part--THEY PORTRAY THEM IN A MORE REALISTIC MANNER.

This doesn't go for all BL because of course it doesn't. An entire genre of different writers--many good and many bad--can never have a singular good trait shared between all of them. But the majority of BL that I've read that include scenes of rape, child abuse, or sex trafficking keeps some sense of terror and gravity to the situation. That's something I tend to see less of in het media. Instead, things often feel more exploitative or voyeuristic. Suffering as a spectacle, as they say. However, it may just have something to do with the female gender being the victim, which we've all seen countless times in all shapes and forms. It feels fresh and new to see a male character going through those issues, instead.

On that topic, I would add that the main audience for romance as a whole has always been dominated by women, so women are more likely to be the consumers of both het and queer romance. When it comes to yaoi, the automatic power balance of male/female is gone, leaving only male/male and opening the option for different ways to imbalance that power--automatically feeling more creative and new than the age old female-victim-male-aggressor-but-he's-kinda-hot trope. In addition to this, so many het romances have unapologetic portrayals of romanticized abuse (The Notebook, 50 Shades of Grey, Blade Runner [speaking to the romance PLOT, sorry, more obscure], the After series, The Kissing Booth, and so on) that never get brought up, never seem to affect the female lead negatively, and always get the couple together in the end. This is endlessly infuriating to me and I've never enjoyed the popular het romances for this reason. It feels like gaslighting--gaslighting of the audience--to see harsh moments of outright abuse and then see the female lead react as if it's sexy, and to feel nothing but gut-freezing disgust as a viewer. It's even more painful when the audience around you also reacts in that way because they're so used to seeing it in your everyday het romance.

Contrasting this with yaoi/BL media--this issue is completely flipped. Countless stories show abuse, address the abuse, portray the male lead suffering from the effects of that abuse, and proceed with a motivation to fix, endure, or to run away from that abuse. To claim that yaoi/BL has less romanticization of said abuse is not wholly true, but the problem for me has always been that het romance PRETENDED THE ABUSE DID NOT EXIST AND/OR IS SEXY AND NORMAL. Whereas yaoi seemed more self-aware that they were writing abuse, and--if they chose to romanticize it--more often did so because the abuse was being experienced through the eyes of the victim. This is important because victims of abuse in reality DO this to cope and survive, so the romanticization is a direct result of a trauma response, and it's made far more clear in yaoi that this is the case.

This is why the kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome romances (Killing Stalking at the top), and toxic relationship themes in BL are far more attractive and validating to read.

Say, for instance, the romances that include themes of kidnapping, sexual assault, and captivity in het media. What have we got for that that's good and actually explores the nature of abuse? What I tend to see that meets that criteria (possibly) isn't really included in the romance category at all--it's either listed as horror or it's a lightened romcom version of that event (kidnapping, specifically)--unless you think of the more popular ones like 365 Days where it's supposed to be sexy and everyone has no brain. I might be flimsy on my point here, since this is the first time I've tried to pick apart this subject, so I apologize. But in addition to these het romances with the themes that I'd like to see not really existing in a way that's been done WELL--I also personally can't watch a woman getting hurt the way I can watch a man getting hurt.

We've seen enough women suffering onscreen, and most of the times the way it gets filmed ends up feeling sexualized in some way--especially if it's a horror movie or a thriller romance. I personally don't enjoy the lack of emotional depth in these types--and clearly they're most often written to be sexy or shock horror more than serious. Trauma doesn't feel real in these stories, so it's intensely triggering to watch it happen onscreen without a resolution to that trauma.

Going back to yaoi/BL, their romances include and very often feature abusive relationships or straight-up hostage romances. But the way they're handled is the big difference. Even though some treat the abuse like sexy porn scenes and I find myself dropping them for the same triggers that set me off in het media, this is much less of a problem, and you can get your thrills without the invalidation of watching trauma happen without being treated like trauma. There's often an arc of learning for the abuser, the relationship healing/improving (and I don't care that it's not morally correct or realistic for this to happen because it's fiction and we all need our coping mechanisms for reality), and a satisfying end where both the characters learn how to love each other. In their own way.

This makes the trauma feel raw and the healing feel rewarding, which is what I come to see. It feels like more BL writers get this and have actually been through some shit.

Lastly, it's not weird that you feel this way, and I'm worried that the discourse on social media about people who exclusively enjoy yaoi/BL has influenced that belief in a lot of people. It shouldn't be that way, and I hope people come around to the actual logic instead of copy-pasting what everyone else says to fit in!

IN ANY CASE, I HAVE RAMBLED FAR TOO LONG ON PRETTY MUCH THE SAME POINT, BUT I HOPE THIS HELPED!! That's the main difference that I'm drawn to yaoi for and I hope it might have helped you see why you are, too!!

Much love to you, and again, thank you SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS QUESTION!! I loved getting to answer that.

[secret-third-thing]

Do you read a lot of horror? Do you have any horror novel recs?

- @daycourtofficial

LOL hi. Get ready for an essay.

I need to read more. Oops.

Visual media first: I've watched a lot of horror films with @jessicafongarts. Smile fucked me up, but there was a different one that I really liked. It's the one where the ghost girl has been sitting on the guy's back the whole time!!! I legit have no idea what it's called but ill bug jess to see if they remember. Nothing has every scared me as much as It Follows. I've also seen a handful of the classics - The Shining, Poltergeist, the Exorcist, but I largely am more psychological horror and avoid films that have body horror & explicit violence. I'm a bad film student cause yes those films are spooky but i didn't enjoy them.

x-files and twin peaks could be slotted into horror tv, but my film school sensibilities want to slap the Drama label onto it. Twin Peaks changed me as a person though. My writing has always possessed a dark tone but my Media Crit class's analysis on Twin Peaks gave me the language to understand what I liked. It's about time for my rewatch anyway. I like horror/surrealism/absurdism etc.

Books/Comics:

I'm not as well read when it comes to traditional? horror, but that's largely cause I've been inhaling fantasy for the past two years. I read one Deen Koontz book and noped out. I tried IT and noped out. I do have other Stephen King books I need to try, but I generally prefer things written by women.

I'm currently reading Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia and What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher, (T. Kingfisher is who I want to be when I grow up and I recommend EVERYTHING she writes).

Junji Ito scares the living daylights out of me. The Body horror makes me awlfj;sdlkfj but The Enigma of Amigara Fault is probably the most accessible of his stories? Someone correct me. This Hole was made for me!!!

Bunny by Mona Awad is probably my favorite horror that I've read to date, but it's absolutely not for everyone though. If you were ever an outcast in school (esp if you were a creative type), this will hit you like a ton of bricks.

I've read Such a Pretty Smile (which was just okay imo) and nearly all of Poe. And The Bloody Chamber short story collection by Angela Carter (which is classic but def read some commentary cause iirc it hasn't aged well)

Up Next:

Her Body and Other Stories

Lapvona

Slewfoot

im know im missing some of the horror i've read but that's what immediately comes to mind. IF YOU have recs lemme know.

[understandingbimbos]

If you are specifically only interested in bimbofication as transformation AND bimbos as a cultural figure, I feel like that’s a difficult perspective to reconcile. Because there are hardly any bimbofication-transformations in mass media. Popular bimbo (or bimbo-ish) figures are almost always just “like that,” the bimboism is essential to their personality and always has been. Hot girl makeover narratives are a popular genre but they usually go to pains to make it clear that the subject’s personality/sense of self is mostly unchanged.

Anyways I think your writing is really interesting and articulate and hope you keep going. Do you have a sense of your target audience? I feel like your work probably doesn’t appeal to most people in the fetish because it’s nuanced and critical, which is a good thing, but hard if you want more people to read/engage with your stuff. Good luck!

I want the book to be open to and palatable to outsiders as a source of information, but I don't have specific or concrete audience besides that. I would like my approach to the subject matter to be somewhere between Dworkin and Scott McCloud.

And... yes, you do not see bimbofication in the mainstream. The closest I've seen any film come to it is Nightmare Sisters from 1988 and Repligator from 1998, and calling either of those mainstream is being very generous. I think there's also a bit part in Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. And the comic adaptation of Dragon's Lair has Daphne getting dumber while she's trapped in her bubble, there's no growth but she already has a sexy/curvaceous body.

Then there's those two episodes of Sabrina, the one where she gets stuck looking like a walking pinup, and one where her evil doppelganger curses her to become stupid and boy crazy. There's that infamous scene from Leprechaun 3 with Stretch. One sort of indirect one that sticks with me, and I think I've mentioned this before, is what happens to Lorraine in Back to the Future 2. When Marty goes back to the bad present that Biff fucked up and his mom now an alcoholic trophy wife in a glitzy dress and big fake implants, but I don't know if that stuck with anyone else.

Lastly, I've seen others cite the animated explanation sequence in The Stepford Wives (2004) and Foxy Loxy's transformation in Chicken Little (2005). I don't think I've posted anything from any of these movies, and I really probably should.

I'm also not sure if this is something I've actually posted or just thought about but it struck me quite recently that bimbofication is really just an inverse of the Galatea myth, as in Pygmalion, as in My Fair Lady, as in Born Yesterday, Pretty Woman. Where you have in these narratives low-class women and sometimes straight up actual bimbos being reformed and becoming proper ladies, bimbofication is the exact opposite. You don't see it because it is a narrative tragedy, nearly horror, nowhere near romantic, a proper lady becoming a common whore...

(Which reminds me, I forgot the best "mainstream" "bimbofication" sequence, Halle Berry in Movie 43, remind me to post this later)

Anyway, like I was saying, a nightmare. But when we consider it in the context of Pygmalion, ancient myth, the very idea of bimbofication becomes a lot less insane. Pyggie took to crafting Galatea because he saw women practicing prostitution and begin to detest "the faults beyond measure which nature has given to women". It only stands to reason that there have been at least some people throughout human history, way before any of us were around, before bimbos, before bimbofication, that felt the exact opposite -- people who detested not whores but the stuffy or virtuous woman. People who's ideal Galatea would be no pure and innocent but wanton and shameless. And when George Bernard Shaw adapted and modernized this story in 1913, I'm sure that idea wormed its way into the head of even more people, even though we may never know. Someone had to read or watch the story of Eliza Doolittle and Henry Higgins and dream of the opposite, respectable lady to stupid bitch.

(Which reminds me... I forgot The Twilight Zone Episode, Number 12 Looks Just Like You. I have a post drafted on my other blog referencing that you might see soon. Maybe. Maybe not.)

I guess that's all to say, you are absolutely correct that there is no real basis for bimbofication in popular media. The seeds have existed here and there for a long time but that doesn't mean any of it was a direct or intentional influence. I think I made a forum post asking bimbofication authors about it and their frame of reference seemed to be entirely underground science-fiction and other erotica writers.

And who's to say who inspired by the bimbofication BDSM people, or how far back that goes? Or the artists who draw transformation sequences? Who drew the first bimbo TF sequence? Did the idea just come to them? That's kind of the thing.

Respectable lady to stupid bitch slut, no matter how niche this fetish is, is NOT a novel concept by any means. For those of who are into bimbofication as a revenge fantasy, its pretty much basic misogyny, no different than Pygmalion's, just in a different direction.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/26/2023

six sentences or less, bc having a physical form has been super duper extra fun this past week

listening

i like Chappell Roan very much as an artist/performer/media personality (and have previously featured tuesdaysongs Pink Pony Club and Red Wine Supernova), but i do not like her new album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess very much as an album. it is not very good to listen straight through as a work. very high high and very very low vibes all over the place, three different kinds of club bangers interspersed with torch songs. After Midnight both sonically and like, vocal delivery? reminds me a lot of modern paramore?? chill but danceable, a canonically bisexual song.

-

reading

what would we fucking do without Riptide Publishing and their batshit insane (lovingly) catalog? The Glamour Thieves by Don Allman is the platonic ideal of a "one last job"-style heist book, in gay urban magic/paranormal wrapping paper. had remarkably good action sequences, buckets of atmosphere, excellent pacing. i read it in one sitting and was up until 3AM. my library doesn't have the other two in the trilogy, so i'm impatiently waiting until there's more fun money in the fun money budget

JT is an orc on the way up. He’s got his own boutique robotics shop, high-end clientele, and deep-pocketed investors. He’s even mentoring an orc teen who reminds him a bit too much of himself back in the day.  Then Austin shows up, and the elf’s got the same hard body and silver tongue as he did two years ago when they used to be friends and might have been more. He’s also got a stolen car to bribe JT to saying yes to one last scheme: stealing the virtual intelligence called Blue Unicorn. Soon JT’s up to his tusks in trouble, and it ain’t just zombies and Chinese triads threatening to tear his new life apart. Austin wants a second chance with JT—this time as more than just a friend—and even the Blue Unicorn is trying to play matchmaker.

-

watching

the latest Felix Colgrave and partner Zoë Medcraft video has big madeline vibes. in a big giant anthill all covered in vines lived twelve billion ants in many straight lines. love to watch an ant carry off an entire head of garlic

-

playing

the next g/enshin update is rapidly approaching and that's about all i've been doing the entire time i've been sick. toodling around and finishing off stray quests here and there, accidentally discovering i never engaged with a fairly major quest, exploring nooks and crannies for stray chests and puzzles.

i did an extremely tiresome quest chain and rejuvenated this big tree that you can see from three other in-game nations which is pretty cool. i wish it looked slightly less like a nuclear test cloud?

this monarch butterfly of a claymore-wielding woman will be released in late winter/early spring hopefully and i Must have her. this game is so good to me re: women with giant swords

-

making

fallow week. i hope to GOD i will have the energy this week to make these fucking couch covers i want them to be Done

[theliterarywolf]

Wha what's going on with hockey players???

I'm going to go ahead and link Swell Entertainment's video on the fiasco

But, to make a long story short: BookTok Bitches Are At It Again

To make a short story long:

Apparently BookTok has reached the period of the internet where RPF (Real People Fanfic) is thriving. Though, instead of fancasting and sending messages to attractive male TikTok users because they slightly resemble the male leads in their romance book du jour, now they've latched onto the 'Hockey Erotica' subgenre of romance books and have been fancasting real hockey players as the roles and writing fanfic about real hockey players.

Again, nothing that wasn't already being done... Several years ago and more regulated (as in, it's bad enough that you're doing it but don't fucking bother the real athletes in question)

What happened here though is that there was a prominent BookTok influencer named Kierra Lewis (calling herself a self-appointed 'Queen of BookTok') who started branching into this subgenre and it's sphere on BookTok and her TikToks about it and real hockey players were essentially severe thirstposts (one went 'Do you watch sports because you like it or because of the fine men' and she was lip-syncing to someone saying 'BOTH! Capital B! Capital O! Capital A! Capital T! BOAT!')

Well... The PR team for the Seattle Kraken reached out to her --

And, going forward, I just want to say that both Kierra and the PR team are responsible for what ended up transpiring. I've seen a lot of people heap all of the blame on Kierra (which she is the prime instigator) but the PR team should have done more research on the kind of influencer she is

-- And essentially started collabing with her ('Hey, this person is passionate about Hockey! Let's get some of that passion for social media purposes!') So they ended up inviting her to one of the Kraken games and gave her a seat... Right at the ringside. This got long, so I'm putting the rest under a Read More.

Where she decided to start screeching and shouting all sorts of sexual comments about the players while they were doing warm-ups. Like when they were stretching ('AAAAHHH! THEY'RE DOING IT!'), describing her excitement in... interesting ways ('Ooh, my kitty's not used to being around this many fine men~!') and singling out one player in particular ('21!!! Can you do something for me?! CRACK MY BACK!!)

And she only eased down, not because common sense kicked in, but because people were in her comments telling her 'Honey, they can hear you'. Though her response of 'Well, when you're at the zoo, doesn't the glass cover the sounds?!?!' wasn't great...

Anywho, later on Number 21's (Alex Wennberg) wife Felicia Wennberg would go on social media to make a post about how 'okay, I was cool with the fangirling at first because, obviously my husband's a famous athlete, but some of the comments... Especially those made by certain users are kind of going too far???'

And she also incorporated discussion about the double-standards of sexual harassment (how it's pretty much universal that making unwanted sexual comments towards women is awful but it seems to be okay when the lens is turned on men).

Well! Kierra didn't like that. Tried to call out Felicia for 'singling her out and sending her followers to attack her, pulled the old 'It's just a joke, brah'... Also didn't help that the Kraken PR team eventually decided to just cold-turkey cut ties with Kierra out of the blue.

So... Yeah, a whole lot of kerfluffle caused by people who don't know how to act in public.

Made worse by the fact that Kierra herself is TWENTY-SEVEN GOD DAMNED YEARS-OLD. WOMAN, YOU KNOW BETTER!!

[silenthillmutual]

☕️ How do you feel about horror films in the 2010's? What were some of the best and worst to come out of that decade in your opinion?

oh hmmmmm let's look at what i've seen that came out in the 2010s

great, really loved - tucker & dale vs evil (horror comedy that will always be famous. to me.); get out (i like us and nope as well but get out to me is like the tightest writing of the three. and then nope and then us.); it ch1 (i have a fond memory of seeing this on my birthday so i have a bias for it :]); annihilation (i love sci-fi horror films so fucking much. ik there's big differences between the book and the film but i cannot wait to read the book anyway!); mandy (i have got to get high and watch this. epic film)

good, decent film - black swan (i do not get what the discourse is around this movie. no it's not the most mind-blowing film experience but idk ppl act like there's nothing worth redeeming in it.); the cabin in the woods (this is a p good movie, do not get me wrong, but it would've been better without the joss whedon stink on it); paranorman (will probably get bumped up a notch once i've rewatched it tbh); what we do in the shadows (mockumentaries i love u); crimson peak (can i just take a sec to say media literacy is ass on this site bc of that one post about crimson peak.); green room (wanna rewatch this one bc its premise is right up my alley); the boy (benefits from Better Than I Was Expecting); happy death day (groundhog day plots are really hit or miss for me but i did like this one. i support women's wrongs.); a quiet place (i need to see the sequels bc i hear day one is good but this was def a unique premise and i liked how the end product turned out); color out of space (goes on a touch too long imo but i'd love to watch it again); us (i still enjoy us just not as much as get out or nope. there's some clunkiness in us.)

a little mediocre but i'll put it on - my soul to take (no real notes on this one other than not being big happy w its ending); grave encounters (probs a little higher up on the meter bc i do enjoy saying 'im lance preston and this is grave encounters' at random); american mary (also on the higher up side bc i'd like it to have been. idk. gorier? also the ending felt kinda anticlimactic.); the babadook (film got spoiled for me long before i sat down to watch it. my partner despises it. i just wanna know why no one has pointed out that the kid is obviously autistic and him being presented as a burden is kinda fucked up); hereditary (i think this is a decent melodrama, and ari aster is not untalented, but oh my gooooood people piss me off about this movie lmao and the mom sounds exactly like my mother.); mom and dad (the parts w the parents i think are much stronger than the parts w the kids but interesting concept for a short story.); it ch2 (i think it doesn't quite match up to pt 1 but it's not bad. i might rewatch it and see how i feel.), ready or not (i'd love to rewatch this one and have my mind changed on it)

i don't remember this one love and light - the woman in black (i'll give this a rewatch later); the purge (i only have the vaguest memories of what happens in this one bc i watched it at 2 am w some classmates while studying abroad); it follows (i see both a lot of love and a lot of hate for this movie so i kinda wanna rewatch before i settle on an opinion)

boring - fright night (i watched this in high school bc i really liked david tennant but i tried rewatching it as an adult and i couldn't get hooked); the conjuring (i'm so sorry to everyone who loves these films but i could NOT get into this.); the witch (sorry.)

i dont recommend tbh - saw 3d (not one on my rewatch list in the series but it's also not the worst film in the set on account of it not being jigsaw or spiral); in fear (i watched this while studying abroad in scotland and i got very let down at just how little was going on in this film.); tusk (parts of this movie i was struggling not to laugh at. didn't feel bad for the main character in the least. not nearly as disturbing as everyone kept making it out ot be imo.); the love witch (i thought 'oh this has to be a critique of rad feminism it's too campy to be taken seriously' but alas i was wrong); midsommar (i am keeping my mouth shut on my real opinion of this movie.)

abysmal. sorry. - dark shadows (i will admit there are burton films that i still find joy in but this is definitely not one of them. really weird movie from what i remember); silent hill: revelation 3d (idk how they fucked up worse than christoph gans but they did!); jigsaw (how the fuck do you make a saw movie that's BORING. booo logan we hate ur pussy!)

woah sorry i just looked a t a list sorry this is like a massive wall of text.

[bogkeep]

look, the kingkiller chronicle (the name of the wind + a wise man's fear, by patrick rothfuss) is not a perfect series or anything, i love it a lot but i have Opinions - but. it IS one of those book series that's lodged itself very deeply into my brain for better and for worse. it lives there now, along with animorphs (a series i haven't read since i was a preteen) and some other friends. you know how it is!!

anyway every now i think about a Thing from kkc and it's like. i need to talk about this. i don't know who to talk about this to. hence: my blog. and usually the thing i need to talk about is the adem. for those who haven't read kkc, the adem is one of the people's in this fantasy setting. their country and culture is very isolationist, their only export are mercenaries (Very Good Mercenaries Who Know Martial Art Secrets), they have a very different culture than the rest of the continent and therefore come across as very strange and mysterious. from a worldbuilding perpective, i think the adem are super cool. i love that rothfuss really leaned into developing a very different culture, even if there's... Some Things That Do Not Scan.

in the story, we find out that their culture is matriarchal, and they consider their women to be better fighters than their men. in fact, we find out they regard men as lesser because they don't realize that men contribute to uh, the creation of children. their culture is very big on casual sex and i don't think they do marriages or pairings like that at all, so their belief is that women Just Get Pregnant Sometimes! which is a fresh and fascinating take on the fantasy trope of "hmm how would a matriarchal society work" but ALSO. also. this would not happen. this could not happen in a world where queer people exist. there are canonically gay and bi people in these books. obviously i was reading this as a baby ace and was like HMMMMMMMM DOUBT. i cannot suspend my disbelief enough to think that every single woman in ademre would want to have (cisheterosexual) intercourse frequently enough for this to be a believable assumption, especially if there's no societal pressure to do it for reproduction!!! IT SIMPLY DOES NOT SCAN.

like, it's not that i'm a stranger to fiction ignoring the fact that Maybe Not Everyone In The World Wants Sex, that's kind of the eternal background noise of 95% of all media. i think maybe this one instance drives me nuts because from an aro perspective, i LOVE some funky fresh Alternative Family Structure worldbuilding and separating sex from romance. but then the sex thing. this whole thing is like.... an aro W but an ace L. it made it so far and then fell flat on its face. screams!!!!

THIS WASN'T EVEN THE THING I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THOUGH. i just can't bring up the adem without talking about What The Fuck Was Up With That. the other very cool part of worldbuilding is how the adem express themselves - they keep their faces blank, but express emotions through hand gestures. and today................... i finally made the connection between This and Autism. I SHOULD'VE MADE IT SOONER. i've been recently coming to realise i don't really watch people's body language or expressions very closely irl - i don't know if it's because i'm bad at reading it, or if i just live in scandinavia and i think we're not so big on body language/eye contact over here, so there's not much information for me to extract? a lot of people tell me that they communicate a lot better when meeting people in person, and i kind of, can not relate to this very much? i can not think of anything i get from meeting people in person that i can't get over text except the speed of conversation. like, sure, there's Tone of Voice but i don't always find it the most reliable piece of information, either. in fact text makes it easier to parse the words and gives me the time and space to reply appropriately. THIS IS PROBABLY A ME THING. I MAY BE MORE AUTISTIC THEN I THOUGHT. welcome to my favourite game of "is it the autism or is it scandinavia"

BUT. i gesture with my hands A Lot. many people have pointed this out to me. i have no idea how expressive i am with my face, but i'm Very expressive with my hands!!! i haven't really thought about this until recently and that's when. the memory of the adem struck again. THEIR NEUTRAL FACES AND THEIR EXPRESSIVE GESTURES..................... NO EYE CONTACT, WATCH THE HANDS....................................... what a fantastic concept. i would adopt this if i could. it does make me wonder though, would it be easier or harder to be autistic in a culture like that? you would still need to learn hand expressions and all the subtle social rules... but it seems more accessible to me, somehow.

anyway that was tonight's KKC thought. it was autism

[chaos0pikachu]

Hiya, finally got around to reading your post on the horror influences of DFF (thank you) and because it added immensely to my to watch list, I was wondering if you had any recommendations / resources for my current side quest.

Last week I watched both 1000 years old and Red Wine in the Dark Night and came across two very different vampires neither of which has fangs. And while that might still be a coincidence (n=2 is not a good basis) it was enough to make me realise that I do close to nothing about Thailand (and related) vampire lore.

While it is a blessing that we are going to have five thai vampire BLs this year, in this case it is actually a curse because any combination of keywords I can think of leads me to 1000 images of Boun staring at me with red eyes. And in this ONE instance, this is actually a complaint.

So, rambles over: Do you have any recommendation for thai horror / supernatural stories that feature vampires / blood sucking ghosts demons or the like?

Hope you are having a good day and happy watching :-)

Tbh I don't know a ton of Thai vampire movies specifically. My knowledge of Thai cinema tends to skew action or horror and even that I'm still a newbie. What's more frustrating is a lot of older Thai films aren't available for streaming and you gotta pirate them - which hey, I'm no stranger to that life either I'm an anime fan lmao - though Netflix has started picking up more Thai imports recently. That's where I watched The Whole Truth, Girl From Nowhere, Trapped 13 (there's a documentary and a drama also fuck Elon Musk), and part of School Tales.

[Netflix is so fucking annoying they have some of the best catalog for international media around but they're so god damn greedy]

As far as I know in regards to like, are there even Thai vampires in mythology/folklore the closest thing I could find was the Krasue:

"A Krasue, sometimes called Pii Krasue, is a spirit that haunts most of Southeast Asia. [...] The Krasue is delightfully gory, consisting of a floating head with entrails and internal organs dangling from the neck. They usually manifest themselves as attractive young women with bloody hanging innards and float about accompanied by an eerie glow. Sometimes, they even have fangs like a vampire." (source)

So I think it's pretty safe to say that, uh, the vampires in upcoming Thai shows are not taking from Thai myth lol but probably Japanese and Korean media.

Japanese takes on vampires which were all the rage in the mid-00s: Blood The Last Vampire (2000), Vampire Knight (2008), Blood+ (2005), Hellsing (1997 - 2008), Blood C (2011), Blood Hound (2004), Trinity Blood (2005) I'm noticing a lot of "blood" used in these titles.

Not that vampires aren't still a sub-genre in Japan, like gosh Seraph of the End was huge in 2013 and was a part of the small re-boom of anime/manga during that time period after the bubble popped.

Korea's also done vampires there seems to have been a bit of a boom in the mid-00s (Vampire Idol 2011, Immortal Goddess 2016) and then again recently (Kissable Lips 2022, Bite Sisters 2021, Heartbeat 2023). From what little I've seen in Korean media - I haven't watched either of the mid-00s shows - vampires tend to be more romance fodder, and treated like any other fantasy creature rather than something scary or demonic.

Which falls in line with the trailer for 1000 Days - which I have also not watched so correct me if I'm wrong and it's actually scary as fuck lmao - while Japanese vampire media ranges from romantic but more gothic or outright just for horror and action.

In my experience horror films from Japan, Korea and Thailand don't usually have blood sucking ghosts or demons? Not saying there's none, but most of the films I've watched the ghosts weren't like, of the blood sucking variety. They tend to be connected to curses left behind because of some sort of wrong done to the spirit in their past life.

Take, White Melody of Death, as an example which is a Korean horror film about a Kpop girl group. The curse that murders it's way through the characters is attached to the spirit of a character who died.

I really recommend this video on White if only b/c I adore Yhara's videos:

Even in The Whole Truth the spirit is more of seeking vengeance than like, to eat people. The concept of "demons" is different in various Asian countries than in an American/Anglo-Saxon context because of the differences in religious, and cultural roots.

Again, totally not an expert regarding all this, and I'm putting the rest under a read more for length but gonna talk a bit more about Japanese, and Chinese folklore (with sources!) under the cut. And I DO list some recs for general horror stuff I like.

Take the concept of "demon" for example:

"Yokai is not simply the Japanese word for demon, as is sometimes believed. They are the embodiment of a moment: a feeling of dread and bewilderment, or awe and wonder over an extraordinary event; or a strange sound or peculiar scent that demands an explanation; an ineffable phenomenon explained only by a supernatural entity. Little wonder then that the Japanese characters for Yokai are 妖怪, which taken individually could mean strange or alluring mystery!" (source)

You can see this reflected in Japanese media like the super famous Inu-yasha: A Feudal Fairytale by Rumiko Takahashi (Inuyasha when directly translated into English means "dog demon"). Where, in the story, there's a mix of demons both human like, creature like, and wide as far as individual morality goes - one of the protagonists, Inuyasha is a half-demon mixed with human it's a whole subplot of his character.

I've found this is more typical in the Japanese media I've engaged with. Like in Japanese horror like Dark Waters (2002) or Ringu (1998) they don't refer to the "monster" as a "demon" it's typically referred to as a ghost or spirit.

You can also see this in Chinese media like Yin Yang Master Dream of Eternity - where the protagonist is also a half demon I'm beginning to see a pattern in the media I like lmao - which makes sense since parts of Japanese folklore/mythology was inspired by Chinese mythology:

"Here, in his third book, Konjaku Hyakki Shui (Supplement to The Hundred Demons from the Present and the Past), Sekien finds inspiration in Chinese mythology." (source)

I feel like this is a long winded way of saying, uh, no I don't know any Thai specific movies about vampires or blood sucking demons. It seems like a fairly new genre exploration from what I've researched so far.

Anyway I can happily share some of my favorite Korean, Japanese and Thai horror things tho, but I really recommend others search themselves and explore the genre. Horror is so vast and flexible as a genre so there's a lot I haven't watched or maybe don't even vibe with that you might!

Perfect Blue, 1997, directed by Satoshi Kon - if you liked Black Swan you'd probably like this film if not more so, it's animated but it's such an amazing psychological horror film there's a reason Satoshi Kon's work has been so influential on media globally.

Girl From Nowhere, 2018 - I talk this one up a lot but I only like season 1 which imo is stronger conceptually, that said, a lot of folks liked season two as well! It has major Twilight Zone vibes, but with a central protagonist who is also a literal force of nature (is Nanno a deity, spirit, demon? No one actually knows and the ambigity is delicious) both seasons are available on Netflix.

Ringu, 1998 - I feel like even if you're a casual horror fan or the like you know of The Ring which is a 2002 remake of this Japanese horror film. I think the 1998 version is better if only because my beloved Hiroyuki Sanada is in it, tho as far as American remakes of Japanese horror films go, The Ring isn't a terrible one (the sequel is tho imo).

Hellsing Ultimate, 2006 - So there's an anime for Hellsing from 2002 that's okay, Hellsing Ultimate is a direct adaption of the manga and it's better. I recommend either reading the manga - the art is FANTASTIC - or watching Ultimate. Out of all three I prefer the manga if only because the art is so good, but if you want Dracula eating and fighting Nazis this is the story for you.

Vampire Princess Miyu, 1997 - this is partly nostalgia but the series is so beautifully animated and it's such a classic. The OVAs will probably be hard to find but if you can and you want some classic Japanese vampire stuff I really liked this back in my youth~~

God Child/Earl of Cain, 2005 - so this is a manga, and it's more Gothic horror than straight horror, but I'm adding it because Kaori Yuki's art is amazing, it's a very subtexually queer series, and it's very Sherlock Holmes meets Shirley Jackson in terms of story.

Train to Busan, 2016 - I am a HUGE zombie film fan love me some zombies and Train to Busan is in my top 3 easy. It's top down one of the best zombie films and the only one that tops it for me is the original Night of the Living Dead. The film has the tag team of Don Lee and Gong Yoo like are you kidding me?

I Saw The Devil, 2010 - This one is A Lot, but it stars Lee Byung-hun in one of his better roles and if you don't trust me watch Kennie JD's video on it.

The Guest, 2018 - This show was such an interesting mix of exorcism and shamanism. The scares were legit SCARY and the entire show was so unnerving, if you can handle slow burns and a good character driven ghost story I really liked this one.

#Alive, 2020 - Okay this feels like cheating cause it's not actually that scary like, at all lol at least not to me, but it's got zombies and the incredible Yoo Ah-In (there's also an American version with Tyler Posey that is unfortunately very bad).

Kingdom, 2018 - I am truly basic but it's SUCH a good zombie show!!! The thrills are amazing, and it had me and my Ma on the edge of our seats. It's not really scary to me, but like its a ymmv (zombies in general don't scare me lol they're just fun).

That's all I can think of right now, I know there's more in my head but I can't remember of them all lol and others that I've watched that I wouldn't really recommend - High School of the Dead, for example, is famous for it's "Matrix boobs" scene which is hilarious but not great cinema lmao - so I left a lot of stuff I know out.

This got long, sorry dude!

[weirdcat1213]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc) and your top 7 favorite (fictional) characters from any media? Why do you love them all? Sorry if you've answered this questions before......

Hello :D

omg i get to yell about things I like, exciting!

first im going to go with my top 7 in no special order cuz I would never be able to decide

Trigun (98, manga and stampede): I've talked WAY to much about this one but holy shit has impacted my life. The story, the characters, the pain THE SWEET SWEET PAIN MY GOD. It just mixes a lot of tropes/themes I really like. And we have 3 versions of it! How cool is that?

Steven Universe: again another classic. Discovered the show when I was young and it just grabbed my soul. Very formative and influential while I was growing up. So soft and p a i n f u l l as all thins should be :3. Plus the music is a banger. Like to this day ik songs from it. Favorite one is change btw.

Legend series (book series): no one paid attention to this series because it came out the same time as divergent and hunger games and other big titles. But I was! And it's still one of the best book series I've ever read. It totally has the 2013-2015 vibes (except for the latest one in the series, rebel) but it's....honest. not only because all the struggles in the book are real but also because the author really believes in her characters. She created them but also let them become people. Plus the writing is amazing and her description of specific moments and emotions UGH I have a huge post about it because of how cool it is. I still remember opening the first book and getting SLAPPED by the first line. Yes it's that good.

Signalis: newish game :D saw lesbians, saw violence and I was on board but I never thought the game would make me think and stare at the wall that much. So far I've played it 5 times and going for a 6th. It's so abstract and no one can decide on what's true or not but that's part of its beauty. Really clever and interesting game. Nothing is real, only lesbians with guns.

Our Flag Means Death: cool show that was about queer NOT IN THEIR TEENAGE YEARS??? IN THIS ECONOMY??? AND NOT ABOUT AIDS (sorry pose I still love you). Of course it won me over because of the queerness but also the characters themselves. It was nice to see myself in a lot of them, personality and racially wise. The fun gay pirates came to my house, destroyed my life and also gave me life. Easy as that.

Pose fx: don't like the main writer of the show too much but the rest of them ATE WITH THIS. A story about black queer woman PORTRAYED BY BLACK QUEER WOMEN. It deals with the aids crisis through the lenses of trans women and gay men but the thing in that show that blew me away was the love for femininity and the community they created around it. They actually took their abandoned and traumatized selves and became someone. They formed families that actual give support and I'm a sucker for found family. I've cried many times because I wanted Blanca to adopt me. 10/10 show about overcoming shit circumstances and the importance of community. What if I cried again.

Houseki no Kuni (manga and anime): weird manga that I've been following for YEARS because its so fucking good. The anime is beautiful and captivating af and honestly the whole thing needs to be analyzed by a Buddhist. it makes me want to learn about that religion so i can understand more. but yeah its sad, its hype, and once again its about gay rock MMM my favorite. you dont know the hours i spent looking for videos/animatic about it. hard to explain but i like to describe it as "human growth: the manga/anime"

Maybe it seems like I don't watch many movies and it's kinda true! I'm more of a shows person. but there are movies i like. maybe another day

Now onto my favorite characters but again I can't decide so this is in no special order. Also because I can't decide I'm giving the spotlight to characters that are not from the media mentioned above (for example if you dont see vash in here is because i yell about him enough like. 3 times minimum per month). Because I can. Because I'm normal about media and stories i like.

1.Steven (su): MY BOY MY MOON AND STARS. ok a lot of this list is about characters i relate to, but this one is the og. this mf is one of the kindest, awesome yet misunderstood characters of all time. theres so much rage and trauma in this little guy but there are many other feelings that get lowkey explored in the main show until BOOM the emotions explode in su future. its amazing how complex my son is. im so lucky that i got to grow up along side him in a way. and in another way it was nice to see myself kinda represented in him? fun times.

2.Tifa (ffvii): PRETTY RECENT BUT SHES THE COOLEST. ejem sorry. i love cloud, zach and the others from the game but tifa doesnt get the recognition she deserves. she survived so many tragedies and became stronger because of it. not only in body but also in mind. however she also became cautious and tries to not explode in front of others. she tries to be a safe place for people, even when shes scared. i think thats pretty admirable of her. i would say more but i dont want to risk spoiling the game but there are little moments and scenes where she just tries to be there for people because she has no one in her life anymore and fuck it makes me sad. also shes pretty hot-

3.Elektra (pose): MY QUEEN. shes just. evil sometimes. shes really a bitch to most of the characters but DAMN SHES COOL WHEN SHE IS. elektra knows she was born with a huge disadvantage in life so she grabs power like a mf and bites it. i kinda aspire to be that, to not let anyone get in my way. she just really speaks to the part of me that has bigger ambitions. but shes also smart and caring (when shes not being a bitch) and every time the world puts her down she stands up and kicks the world again. she's the power of femininity itself and yes i also think shes hot (i mean look at those cheeks of thunder) but shes like a fucking storm in a person and how i can not love that? We love poc people in power.

4.Phos (houseki no kuni): This fucking child (they're a child in my eyes) is so important to me for weird reasons. I got deep into hnk when I was in my sabbatical year. It was a time where I didn't know where I would go and phos seemed to be in a similar place. To this day it surprises me how ichikawa managed to create a "simple" character and then by all definitions made them human. I like their journey, the transformations they went through, the stages they went to cope or to confront their situation. Plus the design is pretty affff

5.Edward Teach (ofmd): I just.....really connected with this guy ok? The feeling of always being at the bottom so if you are going to rise your only option is to make people fear you but that's not true BOY HE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT WHOLE THING. he was just really cool when he entered the show and then it was "oh this guy is really fucked up actually" and he's so funny and MORE OLD POC QUEERS? FUCK YEAH. but i guess what puts him on top for me is how he explored himself and his needs. All that while being funny and tragic and gay. Really cool.

6.Anthy (revolutionary girl utena): MY DAUGHTER RRRRAAAAHHH. Anthy is a really tragic and complex character. to this day i cannot put together every reason why shes my favorite from utena. Shes tragic and my god the things she goes through break my heart every time I think about it but...shes also incredibly strong and funny and a weird keeping animals in her room. The creators did an excellent job showing her lack of agency and how she already had given up, but also showed her humanity and wish to retain things in her life that gave her joy. And movie anthy? That girl is a no nonsense girl. She will get her girlfriend no matter what from the people who abused her. She left that fucking school as a mature, smart and kind adult. We fucking stan.

7. Richard (requiem of the rose king): another recent acquired son. Idk why this one hit so much and honestly for how short the manga is (79 chapters) they did such a good job with him???? Banger themes and metaphors, banger character moments, banger GENDER moments. I've seen a few people not being able to take him seriously but idk, ir sounded honest and serious to me. A kid who has been told since birth they were a demon became one to survive but not really. Because no one with his wish can fully be a demon. Idk maybe it's cheesy but his quest for love and acceptance was a banger in my eyes (please read the manga. We can leave the anime behind). Also I like him cuz he's cool and is a character I CAN ACTUALLY COSPLAY THANK GOD-

AND THOSE ARE SOME CHARACTERS AND SOME PIECES OF MEDIA I LIKE :D IF ANYONE WANTS MORE PLS ASK.