#i've been reading a lot recently and naturally because ive been reading a lot i have read a lot of romance

[wri0thesley]

i know that the brain is not moved by nice words, no matter how much we wish it were, but... even so... i DO need you to know that your 2d anime man (& lady) erotica FREQUENTLY moves me, and has made a huge and marked improvement in my real human life.

TMI, but... as i'm sure you're aware: it sucks to be fat in a world that hates fat people. earlier this year, it was really rock bottom for me, the worst it's been in a while. "couldn't take care of myself" levels. sometimes i couldn't shower because then i would have to see me, and i couldn't bear it. any time i thought about or acknowledged my body in any way was just. agony. and i'm not going to pretend it got better magically (or solely because of your fics, lol-- therapy, etc) but reading about fat people being loved and beloved, with no qualifiers... it helps. it's the crack in the impenetrable wall of self-hatred. it opens up the possibility of what if and makes me able to imagine the possibility of being loved-- and through that door, maybe someday, loving myself. and there are so, so few places to find stories like that, about fat people, written with love and care and enthusiasm, that are sweet and elegant and hot-- nevermind stories written with skills like yours.

so, you know. fire that one back at the brain horrors.

anon, i appreciate you very deeply! i am feeling a little bit better today about my writing because i am having fun doing it and that is really what is important, but it also means a lot to me that other people are affected - no matter how little - by the silly things i post on my blog <3. i am glad you are feeling better about yourself recently and i hope that such a thing continues to happen to you, because you deserve it! <3

[faunandfloraas]

Aussie question time: when I find out an idol is American/Canadian, their image in my mind completely changes because now it’s like “Oh I know exactly who you are, I grew up with your type around me” there are subtleties that I’m going to understand that others might not. So with all that said, I’ve been curious about what that’s like (if you experience it) w the skz aussies (throw in a lily if you’re feeling it -v-) 🎤

this is wayyyyyy too long so I'm putting it under a read more- also disclaimer: i dont know these guys and these are just my opinions, dont take em too srs <3

Hmmmm... Well I guess I'll start with Felix- I've said it before a bunch but the whole "Felix is a tiny uwuw baby sweet summerchild who is just such a baby" etc. etc. has made me laugh from the get go- because Yep! he is incredibly sensitive and sweet natured and kind and he cries a lot- 100% that is true. Dont think I'm saying it's not. But like. He also grew up in western sydney, he grew up in a area that if you google it one of the first suggestions is "is it safe" but then at the same time he went to private catholic school im pretty sure. and i saw pics from back then that he'd posted back in the day of cool little felix with his gold watch and his fade and all his little homeboys looking rowdy on the train- I know that kid and while that kid can also be sweet and sensitive, he's not incapable and hes not a baby. Good recent example was when he went on that Jewel box show with the gay dudes and people were acting like he was *so uncomfortable* and sooooo out of his element and so this and so that- theres gay dudes all over sydney, there's gay dudes all over australian media- the idea felix couldnt handle that was simply laughable to me- but it kinda shows how many outside perceptions of him still very much fall into that vaguely infantalizing thing. Like when he was the one who was happy to go up to adam levine and dj snake in that skz talker while the other boys were much more shy? that didnt shock me at all. felix went to korea as a whole teenager laregly against his parent wishes- he's actually quite an outgoing and brave guy. Outgoing guys can still be sweeties, though- one doesn't negate the other.

One other aspect of Felix i think a lot of fans just gloss over but is easily noticeable by me is that he can kindaaaaaa be ... a lil bitchy? like he's never ever mean or cruel dont get me wrong- but he has a slight bitchy streak, he rolls his eyes AND he's actually much more sarcastic than people bring up? Again- he does it a lot with Chan and that doesnt shock me- they both are aussie boys, Chan will get it and I think Felix can very much be himself with Chan, he doesn't necessarily feel the need to put up an extra air of like... Sweetie boy-ness? bc when he calls chan a cunt on live chan just laughs and goes OI!! so yuh the main thing with felix is while i do think hes a little sweet guy, ive never from the get go had a hard time seeing him outside of that box, too. Also maybe that's a lil bit aussie humour slipping under the radar here or there 🤔

Chan to me from the get go too was pretty much like. Prototypical overachieving aussie Good Boy. Like, i had a drafted post i never posted bc it was too niche- but it was essentially about how he speaks about sports and the like, and it just said "We get it. You went to zone carnival" which was the sporting event that the kids who got gold or 1st place were sent to. If you went to zone, you were the Successful kid. I think these days most fans perceive him as... a bit of a goofy guy? but I have gone through the archives and i have seen the comments from people talking about how chans such a bad boy- thats shit is so funny to me bc you can show me every iteration of chan and I'd never, ever think he's a bad boy. Like he wishes he was a bad boy, he kinda cosplays a bad boy- even him referencing swearing bc of his australianess and shit over the years makes me giggle a little bc i feel like felix def 100% swears all the time but he doesnt like Smirk about it too much? he doesnt really bring it up? things like that stand out, it to me feels very like Oh yeah I'm this naughty Aussie boy who swears hehe and then all the australians are like ? Girl we all do huh lmao

Otherwise, I dont have as much to say about chan as i do about felix, funnily. Like idk people might perceive differently to me, but nothing too far off? I will say that given Chan's success and the fact he was seemingly a very well achieving kid too (maybe not debuting for such a long time is part of this) he is WAY more humble than I'd expect. Like not to besmirch Australian men but a lot of them can be really loud and cocky, especially the famous successful ones (any sport star) it's almost encouraged to be like that if you're a dude (but only to a certain degree, anything beyond a certain point and you'll be roasted lol) So I have to give credit where it's due and say that Chan *Seemingly does have a very good nature and I appreciate that about him! Its probably why I like him so much bc he actually very much doesn't give off those vibes- he doesn't seem like that overly macho cocky bloke I know very well. So that makes him good fun for me- he's very successful and he's confident and yet he doesn't activate any of my bitch instincts- thats impressive! I don't know him, so I'll never know for sure of course, i feel like i need to make that disclaimer but still I do believe he has a good heart, and he tries so hard! and I appreciate that.

Lily is weirdly like Chan. like she's hilariously like chan tbh- I wonder how they really get along sometimes bc I feel like they might look at each other and be like Hm... we the same............ ? Lmao I will say though, lily is a bit out of pocket and half of that I believe is her personality but half of it is just.... I think she's just australian 😭 like i cant lie you get me as a teenager to early 20 something and put me on a live and I can promise I would be saying as much ?? shit. Like, I do think Australians are a little loud and not necessarily always.... tactful (again Not everyone, but yk.) lily certainly fits that bill to a T. I appreciate that regardless of her idolhood she does still say things that maybe she shouldn't, she shrugs off a shoplifting confession, she says she'd murder someone if she had to, she bought and wore a shirt that fans quickly tracked down and found out all the proceeds were going to Palestine- she would have known what that suggested. she clearly had this goal of being an idol since she was a baby, like literal baby but she hasn't sacrificed her broader personality, even the parts that could potentially be off-putting to those idol fans that expect perfection and nothing else. I appreciate that in her! and I hope she never loses her little weird girl spark bc it does make her very dynamic! Her slightly gruff aussie girlness is very fun for me to see in the idolsphere bc it def feels out of place, but in a refreshing way...

so yeah. Idk if this was sensical, I was making dinner so I put my phone down a bunch and it's probably disjointed but thats my opinion... my thoughts, my ideas! Idk my take on them. Thanks for asking 🫡

[beesmygod]

So in like novel writing circles (the ones I jerk in at least) the advice is to just cut the "boring" stuff as much as possible if you can't make it ya know not the boring bit- even if you just fill it with fun character interactions or something- BUT obviously webcomics are a different medium and one known for its ability to go on very long times and (at its best at least) use that sorta allowance to explore a lot of a world etc etc, so after seeing your posts about people maybe not liking the AGS "boring bits" (note: I've never particularly felt AGS had them if only on the basis of like filling it with fun character stuff etc) what you think about that in terms of structure and pacing and such in webcomics

its a relief to hear that people arent bored stiff by a comic that started out as a "monster of the week" type and has drastically changed into slice of life with criminal conspiracy or whatever it is now. it has a point, i swear. it took me some time to see it forming in the ingredients i laid out but i see it clearly now

the slow drip-line nature of webcomics is what makes the medium truly uniquely exhilarating and also uniquely frustrating lol. most webcomics update a single page at a time, right? and you have to keep in mind while making your longform story-driven webcomic that you're juggling entertaining two different readers: the archival reader and the per-update reader. these readers are, by the nature of the medium, going to have wildly different experiences with the text. what is quick and breezy for the archival reader can be prolonged torture for the per-update one. the per-update reader might have been waiting to finally pay off for literal years, building a type of tension that the archival reader will never be able to experience themselves.

a comic a week is a breakneck speed for people doing all the lifting themselves, but only ("only") equals out to 52 pages a year. i do 2 a week so for me its approx 104 and its been 10 irl years to get to this point in the story. i also make my money "per page" because i think i should only be paid for work i actually do. so each individual page has a literal dollar amount attached to it that hovers over my head like the axe i mentioned earlier. it is extremely hard to try to make every page "worth" what people pay for it, knowing how precious money is when times are tough. and also just, you know, because people going out of their way to click on my page should see something worth seeing.

i spend more time with these pages than anyone so i get sick of looking at and thinking about them long before anyone else even sees them. one problem ive noticed is that i will come up with what i think is a funny joke and by the time the page is done, its not funny anymore and i struggle to imagine other people laughing at it. then i think "i dont want to read this, why would anyone want to read this. this sucks."

recently i had to re-read my own old pages, something i dread having to do, and was dismayed by how it read in the archival sense. in my attempt to make every page "worth reading/making" every page ended with a punchline and developed a monotonous rhythm i've been trying and failing to get out of. iambic pentameter ass comic.

i forgot my point. uhhhh san dimas high school football RULES

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss pmd9!

I was wondering what your insights are regarding the artmaking process and social media / the void of the internet.

Lately I've been feeling like all of my inspiration comes from tumblr, which is nice, because I create a true feed of things i really do find inspiring, but it feels like all it does though is feed into itself- i find my practice becomes extinguished when I think too hard about what I make and try to synthesize all my inspirations down into a lovely simmer.

All in all...

What do you do to keep your artistic practice healthy/strong? Is there any way that it relates to the internet/ goes away from the internet? And any advice for a healthy balance between a practice that is both informed by the internet but keeps a healthy distance?

sorry for text wall u_u

no need to apologize i love this Q 🙏 i totally understand, i love tumblr but i barely look at my dashboard anymore, out of the whole day i scroll maybe 10-20 minutes total lol, and its kinda forced cus cus i dont wanna fall out of touch w friends .. some insight on this -

dont get me wrong tumblr has brought me a lot of visual inspo over time but at this point in my life i am really obsessed w being in my own energy -w- And enforcing boundaries between my own thoughts/feelings + those of others. the more disconnected i am the more inspired i naturally feel

one of my biggest inspo is hilma af klint, and her methods of channeling, is how i try to draw now. i have found ways i can ~empty my vessel~ until visions start coming thru, which i believe r from my angel guides. thats actually a huge reason y im quitting weed lol i care a lot about being as receptive as possible. walking outside rly helps stuff come thru, as well as yoga, i get crazy ass vividness visuals during yoga !!

another thing thats a fun exercise is like, closing your eyes & watching the fractals on ur eyelids to see what apeears. i always loved doing this as a child! also stuff like, staring at the ceiling until forms appear, staring at tree bark or cracks in the cement. i have been doing this stuff my whole life but recently i heard this can be a method of channeling :o

also this is maybe an obvious one but listening to music while drawing can really help ignite a flow state, maybe a word in the lyrics will stand out to u and send ur mind on a visual path, reading does this for me too, language rly helps me generate pictures in abstract ways not directly related to what's being said/written

ultimately just practice going inwards & getting into flow state , watever method of getting there works for u, keep practicing ,it gets easier w time

But yeah the internet is really not part of my creative process at all anymore, other than to share my work. its just too overwhelming to my senses. i enjoy making art sm more now that ive distanced myself. thats just wat works for me ^-^

i hope this can help in some way <3 just keep going!! thanks for the good question it gave me much to reflect upon. Have a wonderful gemini new moon anon <3

[angelosearch]

Tag game for fanfiction authors!

This one has been in my drafts for a while, I forgot where I got it from oops!! Tagging @tr1ck5 @suleikashideaway @gardengalwrites @aleheartilly @mathiwrites @waltzforthemoon @summonerluna and anyone who wants to join in!

Tell us:

The story you're proudest of: It's got to be Eyes of the Storm. It's a FFVIII AU but honestly, I don't think you need to know FFVIII at all to read it. It's magical realism with a lot of focus on place and nature and that's the kind of stuff I've wanted to write in long form for my whole life. I am so proud of it I kind of want to shake everyone I know and get them to read it.

Your story that's gotten the most love online: TECHNICALLY, Chaos Theory, but that's only because I've been posting it for a while and it's 21 chapters. In terms of Kudos per hits, I'd have to go with Silver Anniversary.

Tease a current WIP or idea you're working on: I'll give you two! First, a bit from A New Beginning's sequel (The Sorceress Awakens). This is from chapter one of three, "The Commander Dreams Again."

Squall nodded as though he’d been dismissed and started walking toward the door. “Hey wait son—I MEAN, son-dier! SOLDIER! No, Commander, Commander Squall? SQUAMMANDER—” “What, Laguna?” “Uh.. I just, uh…” Shit shit shit! He already looks annoyed! Gotta change the subject! “Uhh, what’s Rinoa up to these days? I’m surprised you didn’t bring her with you!” Perfect save, hell yeah! Squall looked away, and then to the floor. “She’s just busy, she couldn’t come.” And before Laguna could ask any further, Squall stepped out of his office.

And then a bit from the next chapter of Chaos Theory, "Part IV: The Edge of Chaos | Suspended Animation"

But there was another face there beyond his own. He could see his father’s features across the terrain of his countenance, filling him with a tightening ball of emotions too complex to name, nonetheless untangle.   Most people told him he, luckily, resembled his mother, but Laguna was there, hiding along his brow bone and around his jawline. His reflection reminded him that he had been behind that man’s face, felt the things he felt, thought the things he thought, and it made it worse to realize how much he and Laguna had in common. It had been simpler to just see Laguna as a man that lived up to the shoddy expectations of the people of Winhill, as a guy who pushed him away and let him down intentionally, and hate him for it. Now an entirely different picture had been painted for Squall, and it was hard to reconcile his long-held beliefs and tinted experiences against the formerly unseen reality.

Also, I have this project I've got bouncing around in my head called "Odine Asylum" which hopefully I'll try to put on a page soon.

Your top 3 fandoms: Final Fantasy VIII, Hazbin Hotel, The Locked Tomb!

Your top 3 ships: Squall x Rinoa (FFVIII), Trevor x Sypha X Alucard (Castlevania), Thrawn x Eli (Star Wars Thrawn novels)

Rec someone else's fic: UGH this is SO HARD so I am just going to go with the fic I've read most recently (there were moments that had me cracking up): Dirty Boots.

Pick one!

Fluff or Angst (but why not both?)

Oneshots or longfics

Canon compliance or canon divergence

AO3 or FF.net

[spiteslucanis]

was tagged by the ever lovely @zhalar to share 9 albums i've been listening to, thank you for the opportunity <3 i've included my self-indulgent commentary on each, and i tried to mostly pick ones that i've specifically been listening to recently! (ps. thank you for songs you shared in the previous tag game we had, several ended up on my playlists)

lazily tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just say i tagged you. i love hearing ppl talk about music

my album commentary under the read more cut bcs i ended up elaborating a lot

i. chappel roan, "the rise and fall of a midwest princess" — ALBUM of the YEAR. to me. i know it came out last year but still. no skips, love her and this album so so dearly. i need it on vinyl stat. inject that shit into my veins etc. current faves: guilty pleasure and super graphic ultra modern girl, but i did also recently listen to california for like a week non-stop

ii. ethel cain, "preacher's daughter" — again i'm LATE to this one, but as far as concept albums go, this is. the peak. like just. screaming crying throwing up, even. i made a powerpoint presentation abt this just so i could share its story with a friend. INSANITY. faves: american teenager, ptolemaea, sun bleached flies (i forgive it all as it comes back to me............. kill me)

iii. taylor swift, "tortured poets department" — i went to the eras tour earlier this month. speechless! wow. i still haven't recovered OR finished listening to all of anthology but i sure have been blasting who's afraid of little old me and but daddy i love him

iv. metteson, "look to a star" — actual album of the year for me. saw him live this spring and he was so so sweet (was manning his own merch booth afterwards and complimented my make up <3 also signed my vinyl) ANYWAY insane voice? like simply unbelievably beautiful. and this is just the debut album??? future records might simply eviscerate me i'm afraid. faves are second heart (!!!), naturally (but nothing comes natural to me / nothing comes naturally...... augh) and heavier than a heart

v. pet shop boys, "nonetheless" — breaking news my favourite old gay men are still releasing bops and bangers and heartbreaking melodies. this released close-ish to my birthday so i've claimed it as a birthday present. what more can i say, they're my favourite band of all time <3 faves rn: new london boy (skinheads will mock you, call you a fag / last laugh is yours, there's a brick in your bag!!) and bullet for narcissus

vi. orville peck, "stampede: vol. 1" — i adore this cowboy beyond measure. as i think i said in a different post, i don't usually care for features and duets, but this does indeed fucking slap. insane vocals as per usual. love the concept. can't wait for vol 2, and also, mr. peck PLEASE come to europe. faves: miénteme and cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other <3

vii. sea power, "disco elysium" — this is FINALLY on spotify!!! the game of all time, and the soundtrack is equally heartbreaking and hardcore (to the mega). i was going Through It at some point this spring and replayed DE and then just listened to burn baby burn outside whilst smoking. european depression core. faves rn: burn baby burn, saint-brune 1147 (small pinewood church) and precinct 41 major crime unit

viii. jan valta + adam sporka, "kingdom come: deliverance (OST)" — finally bought this recently when it was on sale and my god i'm so glad i did. an immensely entertaining game that you can tell was made with much love. henry of skalitz my SON. been listening to the soundtrack on/off, currently absolutely obsessed with the song poverty and famine (and särmä if you're reading i think you might vibe with this one?)

ix. alkemie, "pentiment (original soundtrack)" — rounding up with another video game soundtrack because i'll simply never get over pentiment. stole my heart in a major way. this soundtrack is STUNNING. can't do it justice with words. my faves rn: sic arsit historia kiersis and rüdeger's rehearsal

[too-much-sunshine]

Finished the most recent chapter, and as an aroacespec person myself, I was so comforted by the slow and natural progression you've given Scar and Grians relationship in this. I'm inclined to physical affection myself, and that's something frequently excluded in pairings that people write as aroace/qpr adjacent. A lot of times they're always considered strictly romantic, but the way you've written this feels so right in the sense of Queerplatonic, as you mentioned you intended originally in the notes. I just wanted to say thank you for that! Reading how they hold each other and comfort one another (wont go into detail, as to not spoil ch26 for anyone reading this) just clicks in a way that's Their Connection, and it doesn't feel like it's trying to or needs to be anything else. It's so content, and it makes me feel so warm to see that in a fic with two characters I resonate with a lot.

Not to mention the plot- omg, I've been fawning over it all week! My favorite moment I think is definitely the kitchen scene with Iskall and Scars little standoff- the visual was so sassy and queer from Scars end, it just made me cackle to no end I absolutely loved the attitude. But really, I try not to theorize too much when reading stories that way every turn feels like a huge shock, and this fic keeps my attention so well I didn't even have the chance to, I was far too busy enjoying every little flair of dialogue and fluid change of scenario. I literally gasped and yelled "OH /SHIT/" aloud multiple times, I'm not embarassed to say it. There are so many details you kept so quaint and innocent at the beginning, I never even questioned them until their importance later on!

This story has been absolutely, insanely, phenomenally fun to read, and I can't wait to see where you take things next. I've been planning my own fic for ages, and reading something like this has really inspired me to pick up my pages and keep going. I hope you have a wonderful day, and that you have a lot of fun working on the rest of the story! I know I'm dying to read the next chapter whenever you feel it's right to show, and others will be too :).

Much love!

- minecraft-cake

OH MY GODS IM GONNA CRYYYY (/pos) TOO LATE I AM CRYINGGGG TTTTTTT AAAaaaa this means so much to me TTTT ASDFGHJK

Ive said it before, and I'll say it again: I started writing WOftL because I wanted to read something like it, but it hadnt been written. Not only in the superhero space (even tho I am a bit a whore for superhero fics UuU) but also just aspec wise. Im arospec/ace, and I just felt it wasnt being represented in a way the resonated with me!! So I wrote it myself <3

Im so glad that it resonates with others as well! I really hope that deciding to change the relationship romantic doesnt takes away from that! I feel like, personally, it doesnt change their background and their connection for each other. I certainly dont plan to have them act much differently then they do now lmaooo

Ommffggg you are so nicceee TTTTTT If Im forced to say one thing I'm proud of for this fic, i'd say the foreshadowing turned out much better then I expected lmaooo This is my first looongg fic, so I really happy with that turned out!! I have so much I can say about specific scenes and how they came to be in my brain!!! But for specifically Iskall and Scar, I loved how their little plot came out! Those two have History UuU

Thank you so much for reading and the kind wordsss!! This seriously made my whole week and its only monday!! Im so happy to have inspired you, and if your willing to share I would love to read your fic when you write it! I hoep you have a phenonial day, week, month, year and life bestie <3<3<3<3

[theloveinc]

not a vague post at all but it's interesting to see this conversation of ... fandom being dead or whatever bc... ive been on tumblr since 2011 and i've never seen such an interest boom as during the pandemic. and normally i chalk this new deadness up to us all going back to work/the fact i don't truly understand what fandom was like "back in the day" bc i was a teenager who mostly just read stuff.

but at the same time... i wonder, really how much has ACTUALLY changed and died and how many new things + expectations + functions have been created from this recent surge?

it's so interesting to me bc a couple months ago i reached out to an overwatch reader insert account i followed back in... 2016? maybe. and spoke to them just like i'd send anyone an ask, asking how they were, if they had any writing plans coming up and saying i missed them. and they never responded, which was fine honestly.... but what i found a little baffling was that they went on to say they still accepted requests? and still wanted to run their account the same way they did back in 2016????

(it truly felt so alien. i was like... we're people now!!! we talk to each other now!!!!!!!!!!!!)

and that isn't to say anything in particular, but i feel like things have changed since then... at the same this request system has spoiled some readers with the notion they can ask for what they want and receive it... seems like some writers have also been tainted by the expectation that people should like everything they post. it's hard to express, but it feels like one of those snakes that's eating itself ... wanting a certain amount of praise for doing things u "technically" enjoy doing.

which isn't to say it's reasonable to ignore fandom writers or demand things on the other hand (it's not)... but i guess a lot of functions here have changed now?

and tho fandom has always been alive and well, communities can def run their courses and get smaller and more........ dead, as shows progress or end or take hiatuses and interest wanes naturally....

and tho i don't remember the point i was trying to make, i just wonder how much of this is a natural decline that's being clung to irrationally. i miss having a large community too. fanfic writers deserve the utmost of praise for the care and dedication they put into their work. but setting urself up for disappointment... isn't anyone's fault. and blaming people for that isolates u from those you want supporting u. i have no idea.

-

you know, i feel so inadequate bc i have such a lack of long fics and have a really hard time writing them (tho i do, just ... slowly and silently). but this is why i like answering to asks so much, bc the words of others inspire me (even if i've gotten a bit burnt out from my persona). and if this isn't u... you know, u write ur own stuff by urself, great!

but i feel like... in turn, this community is now in a transition stage (because we went from a community where everyone was having fun / getting asks + praise... to one that's smaller, isn't as buoyant or forgiving), and is readjusting itself to fit the new needs of writers, those who want to write their own complex ideas and those who need interaction to do so... and the readers that make both things possible finding their new places.

idk but... i think we're all relearning how to do this. and that shouldn't be blamed on anyone, regardless of feelings.

thanks for reading all of this if u did!! no need to comment or anything. and whatever if u didn't i don't mind <3

[mooifyourecows]

Hiya Moo!!

I’ve been in a huge reading slump lately and the only light at the end of the tunnel seems to be your new Hard Times fic so thank you so much <3

How have you been? Did you in fact cook your Thanksgiving dinner while high? Any new shows you recommend? (I’ve been in a Law & Order: SVU binge for comfort lately)

Love & appreciate you so much, talk to you soon muah

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! 🖤

I did in fact make Thanksgiving dinner while high and it took several hours longer than intended but I didn't burn myself and it tasted great so I call that a success babeeyy

I've been watching so many shows but honestly nothing new to recommend. Lot of mediocrity. I renewed my Netflix subscription to catch up on the stuff I like but I can only watch those when my partner is home since we both like them and I don't want to watch ahead without him (Dead to Me, Inside Job, Stranger Things, stuff like that), so in the meantime ive been watching their various new limited series and such and WOOF its pretty embarrassing how bad they are.

That Echoes show had an interesting premise at first but they completely fumbled the middle to the end. (The main actress' performance was very underwhelming and gave me ZERO sense of the twins' personalities whatsoever)(though I don't think that's her fault, it's probably the writing/directing). The Watcher was laughably awful from the very beginning and had so many personal opinions of the writer so clearly stuffed into the dialogue that made it feel super preachy and insincere. The Devil in Ohio show was so boring I completely zoned out for the final 2 episodes but I can still tell you exactly what happened because it was very basic and not original or interesting whatsoever. That 1899 show was good until I found out it was plagiarized so now I wipe my hands of it and refuse to give it any acknowledgement.

Granted, I love watching mediocre shows so I'm right at home on Netflix lmao

Though once I'm done watching all the new shows and movies and nature documentaries and rewatching all the stuff I actually like, I'm probably gonna cancel my subscription again because yikes. I prefer not to give them too much money considering they gotta lotta nerve canceling TEENAGE BOUNTY HUNTERS THE FUCKING BASTARDS (listen I'm so pissed about that still)

When I'm not watching some mediocre Netflix series, I'm watching the usuals. Bob's Burgers, King of the Hill, The Great North, Archer, Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia (sans the most recent season, which is garbage), Lost, Futurama, you know, the classics. (or I'm watching a million movies ofc)

[cauldron-chatter]

Oh, that's a classic tarot deck! I have too many decks, some might say I have too many, haha! Three faves that I have are my Viking tarot, the Jane Austen tarot is adorable and I really enjoy my Gilded tarot!

Wands are always nice to see in a spread, gives one hope that there's some sort of energy or movement going on! I'm a sucker for cups, but I also like to see some of them majors entering a spread to make you reflect on the situation as to how you can affect the outcome but also to give perspective!

New moon is so underestimated?? I myself is a lover of the full moon but it's mostly because I time my period to the full moon and then I totally feel like a feral werewolf, lmao.

Oh no, n-n-no soups????? But what about pho??? (My question stems from my recent obsession with pho, lol) But if you can't have soup, what's your favorite dish then? :3

Hey, podcasts feels like the new documentaries so that's alright, hehe! I myself rarely listens to podcasts, I have like two favorites - one humour pod in Swedish and a Swedish satire pod. Documentaries on the other hand I have more of, lots of nature documentaries or dinosaur documentaries, lmao.

Oh, what are you cross stitching at the moment?? I had a period when I knitted, I have some unfinished projects lying around as some post pandemic memorabilia, lol.

Do you have any good books you could recommend that you've read recently? Or maybe an old classic that you think everyone should give a shot? :3

I love Jane Austen so that tarot deck sounds so cool!

I actually have an app that tracks tarot readings by moon cycles which is also why I track the new moon more closely. I thought it was very funny when I saw that today is a full moon after you mentioned it 😂 best of luck with your werewolf shenanigans

I've never had pho, but it's a problem I have with hot liquids and too much liquids. My stomach is rather sensitive and likes to throw fits. I'm more of a steak and potatoes kind of girl. While my stomach can't handle chicken noodle soup, it can eat a whole chuck roast and have room for dessert no problem

Pls pls pls give me dinosaur documentaries that was my childhood obsession. I would also watch viking documentaries on the history Channel when I was little to the point i would complain about reruns 😂 ive also been listening to an audio book about germanic barbarian cultures like the vandals and goths

This is my current cross stitch project. It's the biggest piece I've made and is part of a stitch-a-long by Modern Folk Embroidery.

This is what it should look like at the end.

Also "post pandemic memorabilia" sounds like the title of an art show feating unfinished projects lol

For book recommendations I would say

Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel for mythological fiction

Keats' Lamia for classic poetry

And my favorite book which I don't recommend lightly but

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind

You didn't ask for it but im also going to give movie recommendations cause I just watched these and love them

Everything, Everywhere All At Once - if you haven't yet pls do it is in fact worth the hype

And for a classic movie

The Sting (with Paul Newman and Robert Shaw)

I just love classic movies I have a whole bunch on my watch list but most of them are in German and it's hard to read subtitles and sew at the same time 😅

[izicodes]

Hey! I started wanting to code relatively recently, and while i still have to fully dedicate i saw some artwork you blog and beforehand i want to say i can see your dedication and skills for everything you put your hard work into, both in art and in code. i personally have found joy in creating things that are functional the same way ive found them when creating art in a way. art is more technical than people tend to assume. i graduated a designer and ive found way more fun in coding than designing with the limiting standards most companies tend to have. Id like to say your content is really motivating and i learn a lot about it, ill scavange your blog a bit more, you have great resources,,, i had a down in winter but id like to get back in track and learn! thanks for the everything and have a nice day!

Wow... Just wow. Thank you so so much!!! I read this like 10 times, a really nice message 💗✨💗✨💗

I'm really happy you like my posts! That's good, everyone has been commenting that recently so I must be doing a good thing! I'm so happy!

Art is very technical, I can agree with that for sureeeee. I don't have "natural talent" I had to teach myself art via videos and online courses and it was tiring but totally worth it! I only drew as a pass time activity, I only made a blog for it because I wanted to like "archive" my art online! I haven't drawn in a while because I've kind of traded art for knitting/crocheting 😅 but even that takes time to learn~! However, I do want to go back to digital art but only after I finish my night classes and my apprenticeship completely ☺️👍🏾

Thank you for the ask and you too have a nice day/night! And good luck on your studies in coding!! 🥰❤️✨❤️✨

[iantimony]

tuesday..tuesday again....again........

listening: so okay i did life drawing last night with my roommate on our TV using lineofaction and she put on a random drawing playlist on for music and there were some songs on there that made me go wait. wait is that evanescence?? wait i don't know that one??? and it turns out they fucking released new music in 2021?????? anyways it's full of bangers naturally, i went and listened to some of their older stuff too for a nostalgia kick

reading: i reread some of the beginning of the merlin cycle because apparently in some editions there is a description of the logrus in the prologue which i've never seen?? so i read that and started trumps of doom before reluctantly putting it aside for work. i'll probably reread the series over break this year it feels like it's been enough time

watching: i could have put this in listening but they have VISUAL SLIDES on YOUTUBE so i can put it in watching >:b

feat. the line "so I thought we'd look at a few recent [shitty vanity projects] that are close to home by america's closest analog to an absolute monarch, that's andrew cuomo" which made me lose it (at around 11:30 in the video recording if you want, the delivery is sooo good)

there's also a really funny bit in their news segment because this was right around the time that greene of shitty politician fame was talking about the jewish space lasers and one of the hosts is jewish and was riffing off of it

playing: n/a

making: more crochet!! officially over halfway done!!!

BONUS: what delights have I experienced?

walking around: ive done a lot of silly little walks because i've gotten re-invested in pokemon go, mainly because it's an excellent way to kill time in airports and also my office at school is situated between three pokestops and my apartment is in the range of one so it's very convenient here in a way that it isn't back in NY for me...walked around the morikami last week which was sooooo pretty and nice

fellowship: i did spend time with family, mostly oh god at what cost etc. but i did get to see my favorite cousin who i havent seen in ages because covid + he lives in oregon so that was great

deliciousness: my aunt and uncle's politics suck big fucking ass but goddamn can they cook a meal. thanksgiving food was a++ no complaints except that i was a fool and only took like three spears of asparagus before it was all gone

goofing: literally just hanging out with my mom...she thinks my sound effects are very funny so we've just been going a! i! o! oei! at each other

no transcendence, amelioration, coitus, or enthrallment this week

[daddyd0nt]

My mom literally said if I hold off suicide long enough to die of natural causes and don't actually hurt anybody before it happens she will be proud of me and like she said it out of love because I said how much i was struggling not to SH in some way and how sometimes i lay in my bed for a few hours like a dead person like with my arms pinned down to my side completely rigid and still and do nothing but just focus on being still and not acting on the impulse and like its pathetic i was an honor student my whole life and like Ive been super down lately because it kind of blows to get formally yoinked out of society and told you're not fit to be around people and like spending time in and out of the psych wards for the actually dangerous people and not even totally feeling like you don't belong there like over the years its been less and less times in the short term ones where u go after u cut/attempt (those kind of places won't even take me on unless I have a 1 to 1 staff 24/7 including when im sleeping, showering, or using the bathroom) but now when I go in I usually go in to one where there are a lot of people who are Displaying Symptoms and like people who are probably never going to go home who are there because they did fucked up shit but were too crazy to go to jail and like honestly those are the nicer ones they have better food and better/cleaner facilities and more structured rec time so like when people are Displaying Symptoms constantly and Im polite and quiet and just read a lot and don't make extra work for anybody and basically get along with everybody without any significant conflict I get showered with praise the way I did for being super compliant in school and like its fucked but that's the only time recently that I've been able to feel okay about myself or at least felt like I wasn't an unmanageable burden.

Like it fucks with me so much that I had to leave my Job I was there for 2 years and I loved it and was one of the best most competent employees and got so much positive feedback and the job was something I was good at and enjoyed like it made me so happy I loved going to work but I had to step away because at a certain point I had to accept that not only could I physically not sustain the amount of medication that I needed to get though a shift but mentally it wasn't cool for me to be in the state that I was in doing that kind of work I was doing I felt so good about myself when I was working at that job like it sucks but it essentially came down to the therapist I was seeing at the time saying in so many words that she would try to have me sectioned if I didn't make the choice to go on the SSI after I was approved for it and like pretty much "you need to rest and if you don't rest voluntarily we will MAKE you rest" like they are just now over 6 months later considering looking into a day program for me twice a week where they like take u supervised in a group out into the community to the mall and the grocery store and shops and shit/set u up with volunteer opportunities but like now that Im not living with B and looking to move into a smaller place closer to my family so I can at least see them more and help my dad with stuff around the house and have an excuse to do something other than just getting high all day which sounds nice but yeah my case worker and the Drs at the last hospital I was at and my old therapist keep trying to convince my to accept a "supervised living situation" aka a group home which like fuck that so hard when Im in the hospital Im usually one of like 3 people who isnt in a group home Im not going to live like a goddamn teenager so that some doctors who only understand me as far as they've read about the conditions I am diagnosed with in a book can have peace of mind but yeah that's why my most recent or maybe 2nd most recent therapist dropped

"If something kills you before you kill yourself or hurt somebody else you will have exceeded expectations and made us proud" jesus wept the fucking bar is in hell

[coldrising]

hi... to add my own thoughts i really must be honest ive been over time feeling more and more similarly to this as someone else who joined under the colony as droplet, and i am not personally happy to see this concern brushed under the rug as making people uncomfortable; i always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and i've been trying hard to be understanding and as such i have tried to work with the plot/found it rlly difficult to speak up but recently ive been feeling this has needed to be said :'] and please please bear with me on this i am rarely ever on here and i am rusty with words but i can vouch that we were not at all warned about any of the nature in the context of which our characters would be thrown into, and in my own character's situation, to make a quick disclaimer, i threw her into the line of blame myself so i feel i cant really speak on anything she's been exposed to as her own individual character, but i must distinguish the group's general treatment has been overall handled unfairly to the point it bears a great amount of the real-world resemblance melia is referring to, whether that was the intention or not, and being on the experiencing end of it has been the source of a lot of stress... it is not to say that i'm uncomfortable with my character not being liked, as that is not the issue being discussed at all, but rather the subject matter this group of cats has endured if that makes sense... fault lies on me for not speaking my thoughts sooner and because once again i did put my own character in the line of fire w/ her own plotlines which made me feel as though i couldn't complain, after all this has been my first rp since i was like.... 13 maybe so i've been worrying that the problem was just me or that i've reading too much into things/taking it personally not to mention i am a new-ish member still but i do have to admit i agree in that i do not think the topics covered have been handled with the necessary care and respect, i am a new member as well but i have read the plot summaries/previous rps multiple times so i do understand the context behind it as well i can but this is the point i feel it is far too resemblant of real-life xenophobia such as that seen in the books to be separated from the rp because it still feels and hits as very real and it's almost harrowing to play cats that experience these things with no warning or trigger tags at all. i can say this w/ my own mixed background as well and i definitely do not think blocking/removing people who are speaking up like this is a respectful way to handle concerns as serious as this personally

but again i am sorry if im kind of all over the place with this i generally have a hard time speaking my mind i just hope we can forge change :']

Let's talk about Forgotten Elegy!

Hey since the mods all blocked me preventing any sort of communication I'd like to expose what has been going on in there! Apparently because it makes people uncomfortable to say what's going on.

So the current plot in TimberClan involves an outsider group in which previous members caused problems for the group. Now no player was warned about what this group was going to face going in. Instead we were faced with erin hunter level anti-outsider xenophobic rhetoric.

Now as some of you may know... I am not white! In fact I am of arabic descent, which, as some of you know are not exactly a favorite when it comes to immigrants!

Some topics mentioned include:

A cat taking on the name of the colony's god to piss them off this was treated as funny!

Likening their burial practices to like prey or trash.

Treating the entire group as murderers when only one cat maybe did something.

Pining the blame on the group for a disappearance they had no paw in.

Calling the colony brutes and relating their distrust to their culture of fighting assuming they love fighting and shit because of it.

Keeping the colony prisoner for an extended period of time

Implying the colony should be grateful for receiving "food" and "shelter" while being kept prisoner and if they weren't they'd be ungrateful.

Having a literal concept of "the good ones" with the colony having the main captor the leader Scoutstar have a colony cat, Velvet, as her watcher to make sure the colony weren't stepping out of line. Allegories being made towards a dog on a leash.

Making cats who believe the treatment is wrong feel stupid and afraid of siding with them!

Oh this entire plot is suppose to end with the colony joining Timberclan despite the foul treatment!

Constant jokes about how the worst offenders did nothing wrong especially Scoutstar who is, as pointed out by her player, taking her paranoia out on the group but its "for the good of her clan" so i guess that makes it ok right?

Now call me not white but all of this sounds pretty bad!

Mmy way of engaging such things, as someone who has experienced similar things, would be to call it what it is that should be alright shouldn't it? After all as they told me this is an Adult Rp where we can talk about Adult Themes after all!

WRONG!

Apparently calling these cat's behaviors and the plot for what it is has made people "uncomfortable" and that members did not enjoy how I was commenting on their characters because of how people turned it to real resentment in the past.

I will have you know FE that trying to block me from speaking and being a hawk over whatever I say has made me more resentful that a character's actions!

I am an adult and I find it quite insulting you apparently think I cannot separate those things and have childishly blocked me rather than talk like adults as I didn't even want to repeal the decision. However because members were uncomfortable that was apparently enough, yet the real world rhetoric that was being used, despite asking for it to be tagged never was! In fact I had to get blasted with comments and sentiments like those above without any sort of content warning. Basically getting my cat experiencing bigotry like mine without so much as a warning despite "the obvious" needing to be tagged.

Instead of anyone, staff or complaining members alike, putting on their big boy pants and dealing with the implications of the plot they were in they rather cry and whine about the consequences of their actions and the fact it didn't make their little kitty look all that good. Such is natural for whites and the people who ride their dicks.

Now I can personally say there are plenty of members who agree with me that this so if you think blocking and kicking me is getting you out of this you are sorely mistaken! In fact they are quite pissed off with how staff handled things in kicking me for what they also agree were appreciating the writing from a standpoint of someone who is a real life victim of what this plot showcases. Isn't that funny! I know that my friend who I mentioned to you is still there!

In fact a lot of the comments the cats in this rp have used have been almost word for word shit I've heard and shit my family and people like me have heard! Yet I'm the bad guy for making a comment about it.

All of this is to say I am in fact hurt and know that you all don't like me because I didn't roll over and take being put through a xenophobic plot without comment and called cats xenophobic for actions I saw!

So I am returning the energy you have given me! I think you are all unprofessional and have been for most of the controversies your group has been involved in. You run away from what the issue is and refuse communication then turn around in blaming the lack of communication for the reason why these things happen.

I'm sorry me engaging with a plot you crafted as a person effected by the very concepts you are putting into it offended you same with all the other little members who whined about it!

Actually that was sarcasm I am not fucking sorry. You all need to grow the fuck up and perhaps can this plot because you clearly cannot handle something as delicate as this without being xenophobic and racist. Just call me a fucking terrorist or towelhead or a camel jockey next time it'll be much more direct!

[spacexseven]

mandatory obligation

NOTE: since i've been playing genshin a lot more recently i've been thinking about #HIM a lot more these days and ive been possessed by the corner of my brain that's obsessed with childe :,) so yes, it's very self indulgent. this can be read as a part 2 to broken vows but not everything aligns well since i didn't plan for it to be read like that

SUMMARY: tartaglia always puts things back on track, no matter how hard you try to derail his plans.

PAIRING: yandere! tartaglia x fem! reader

CW: yandere character, obsession, lying, deceit, manipulation, forced relationships, forced marriage, imprisonment, implied stalking, spoilers for childe's real name :>

you're starting to realize that none of the villagers are really buying your admittedly rather strange excuses. of course, they were all understandably wary to see a stranger stride down the path to your house. more so because he walked with all the confidence in the world, as though he owned the land below his feet. and perhaps they were all on edge because his visits only seemed to start a few weeks after you moved back in, after years of living in the harbor.

still, you fix a fake smile and offer them the most believable out of your quite pathetic array of excuses—"he's a visitor from the harbour. yes, related to my work. no, nothing big. he needs help sorting out documents since the ministry is strict about papers, especially when it concerns foreign businessmen." you never mention a name or any other detail. they don't pry, either, curious minds sated for now.

the lie isn't that much of a lie, considering he was officially in liyue for business matters representing the northland bank, and the ministry was a little cautious, but less because of his business and more because...of his overall existence. you've heard the rumors and even experienced parts of it for yourself, so you can confidently say that he would unsettle anyone. however, despite all the time you've known him, you can't quite tell which one of his numerous whispered-about jobs is true; banker, businessman, or just a soldier. or maybe, the answer was all of the above, with an extra title—fatuus.

despite the general unease from the village, nobody dares question the blue-eyed stranger to his face. he walks straight to your door, never stopping to acknowledge the presence of others, stays for a few hours, and leaves like clockwork, leaving no evidence for the villagers to gossip about and question the nature of your relationship. still, the little details; the boxes he carries, the way he lingers outside your door for a few more moments, the increasing frequency of his visits, they serve some fuel to the ever-growing flames of curiosity.

today, ajax walks in with his usual disarming smile, eyes visibly brightening at the sight of you standing stiffly behind the door.

"i missed you," he croons—the same as always—though you know he means it very much. as is routine, he reaches out for your hand with his gloved one and places a kiss on the back of it, maintaining eye contact with you all the while. his smile turns into a menacing smirk at the slight downturn of your lips.

"come, darling," he gestures to your table, as though you were the guest and him the host, "look at what came in today."

as you cautiously walk past him and sit down, he unravels a thick, wrapped bundle he had been holding under his arm, revealing to you a lovely coat of rich, dark color and expensive-looking details. the buttons look like real gold, and you can already tell by looking, that it was made to fit you. everything he bought you was tailored to your measurements, though you never dared to ask how he got your measurements so accurately.

he watches, closely, as you, having known what he was expecting, stand up and let him slip on the coat for you. you pretend to look mesmerized by the feeling of the warm inner lining brushing your arms and run your fingers across the soft material to put on a show of awe for the harbinger. it's very likely that he knew you were doing this out of fear rather than gratitude, but he's appeased anyway, as he places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes, his grip firm but painless.

"it's perfect," he lets go of your shoulders to interlock his gloved fingers with yours, watching your face intently, "...is it not to your liking?"

you pretend to admire the buttons and hemming, the thought of him deliberately picking this out for you more unsettling than flattering, especially when you recalled previous encounters of the same nature, wondering how to explain without upsetting him, "i just...don't need something so expensive."

you didn't need it, especially in liyue, where it never got cold enough for you to be adorning such a thick coat without sweating profusely. at least the expensive hand-embroidered clothes and jadeite earrings he bought you before were thin enough to be worn on visits to the harbor and rare outings together, and the silk underclothes you could wear to bed if you weren't constantly worried about him wondering if you were wearing those and coming to see for himself. this coat, however, was impractical and lavish, and you wondered if this is how all the rich spent their money—foolishly.

"it's not meant to be worn here, my dear," he chuckles, "it's for when we visit snezhnaya. it's far too cold there to be in your usual outfits."

before you could stop yourself, you speak the words lingering in your mind, "i don't need it."

he pauses for a few minutes, the charming smile slipping for a terrifying moment, before returning, the realization striking him immediately, "very cute, darling. although i wouldn't mind you wearing my coats, i think one tailored to your size would fit better, no? besides, i only bought one, just so you can wear it for when we have important visits in snezhnaya. otherwise, my love, you can wear any of mine that you like; in fact, i would prefer that, since everyone would see you and know at once that you're with me."

you weren't going to tell him that that wasn't what you meant, shattering the pretty picture he had painted in his mind. you couldn't risk angering him by informing him that you weren't planning on going to snezhnaya anytime now or in the future, and you didn't need a coat. you didn't want to see that side of him again, not when there were so many others at risk. so you smile, and though it's painfully stiff, he smiles back at the sight, pleased at your compliance.

you foolishly thought that everything would blow over when he walked out that night, new, expensive coat buried deep in your closet with the other gifts. he had graced you with yet another kiss and saccharine sweet greeting before leaving, and you watched from your doorway as his figure became smaller and smaller in the distance. you noticed that he lingered by a house in the village for a few minutes too long, but just as you were about to go out and see what he was up to, he was gone.

it's only the next day, when one of your neighbors stopped you that you realized what sinister plot childe had been planning.

"congratulations!" she grins at you, face beaming with happiness, "oh, i'm so happy you're having a ceremony here, too! i would hate to miss such a beautiful occasion."

you must have done a terrible job at hiding your surprise, because she rushes to explain herself, "your fiancé told us yesterday evening, and told us the formal invitation for the wedding would be out soon. was he not supposed to tell?"

you manage an awkward, choked laugh, feeling your head spin, "i told him...that we should keep it a surprise. about the wedding, i mean, i hadn't told anyone we were engaged yet because—"

"oh, yes," she's still smiling, and it's almost irritating now, "you must have been worried because he was a foreigner, right? don't worry, everyone already loves him!"

"i'm very glad to hear that," you tell her, forcing yourself to sound as genuine as possible, "and i'm really grateful for your wishes. i have to go now, though, and get some things for tonight."

although you escape her, you soon realize word had spread to everyone in the village. you were being bombarded with congratulations and well wishes, and people gushing about how considerate your fiancé was for having a little ceremony here so your community can see the two of you before you leave for snezhnaya, how thoughtful he was, for asking them what traditional ceremonial foods he should have for the occasion, how generous he was, for sponsoring your wedding.

they gushed over his charming personality and his pleasant words, demanding to see the ring he got you, the one you never wore. they playfully berated you for hiding such a big change in your life, claiming it would have been no problem if you were engaged to him even if they had no idea who he was before this. it was stressful and exhausting to smile and thank them for their words, squeezing your way out of the crowd to the safety of your home, and even then the little peace did not last long.

ajax swings the door open only to see your figure slumped over on the table, tired by the fuss. immediately, he goes to you, sitting next to you and going to stroke your head in an attempt to coax you into unleashing your troubles. despite your mental insistence to never let him get to you, you can feel yourself relaxing under his soothing touch, being starved of such gentle affection for so long.

"you alright there, pretty girl?" he coos into your ear, hands still brushing your hair.

you sigh, not wanting to talk at the moment, but he keeps going.

"i'm sorry if the announcement was too sudden, but it's been more than a month, and you haven't let anything slip. not even wearing the ring i bought for you—i was almost hurt, but i understand. now that you know they're all happy for our engagement, though," as he pauses, a hand squeezes yours, "you should start wearing it, so that they don't get the wrong idea, hmm?"

you find yourself agreeing listlessly, disheartened by the terrible turn things had taken. still, how long could you have kept up the charade? how long could you have avoided the wedding and him? you've always known that ajax was ready to do anything to get what he wanted, regardless of how it may torment you or others. you should have expected such a move from him.

"i've planned for our trip to snezhnaya about two weeks from now, so you can meet everyone back home and we can plan for our wedding," he says, not waiting for you to agree, "i haven't told anyone about the journey yet, since i'm afraid teucer will try to sneak onto a ship to come see us again," he smiles at the memory.

you can still remember it, too. it was one of the few times with ajax that you were somewhat happy, since it was hard to dislike teucer, even if the boy idolized ajax to an extent that made you worried.

that day, the news came to the both of you when you were having lunch in the harbor, a frantic underling interrupting you with a panicked explanation about a teucer and sneaking onto the boat. at the time, you were clueless about the exchange, but ajax, unusually riled up, decided the two of you had to go to the bank at once. there, you met teucer, a boy far too adorable to be related to the harbinger. you knew that ajax wrote to his family about you and some parts of his work regularly, but you hadn't expected the enthusiastic greeting teucer showed you, gasping in awe and asking you if you were really going to marry his brother.

while you had been overwhelmed by the sudden questions, ajax quickly stepped in to calm the boy down and offer to show him around the harbor, only after chiding him on his foolish and reckless decision to come all the way to liyue on his own. the rest of the day was honestly pleasant; you witnessed a new side to ajax and were endeared by the boy, who was far too unsuspecting and excited about everything. when the time came to send him home, he told you earnestly that it had been one of the best days of his life and pleaded with you to come visit soon. how could you have said no to him in that moment?

even now, ajax holds your promise over your head, using it to remind you that you couldn't break teucer's heart. either way, you'd be coming with him, as he often said, but it would be nicer for you if you'd come willingly.

"i think teucer only excited everyone more with his stories about you," the harbinger continues, a tinge of excitement in his tone, "and i already know that they would absolutely adore you."

you nod, not at all as excited as he was to visit his family. ajax stands up and goes to your room, not explaining his sudden actions. you can hear the sound of your closet door opening and drawers being pulled, and you bolt towards the room, bewildered by his unreadable expression and fluid motions.

"what are you doing?" you gape at the speed at which he was picking things out, with no consideration to your privacy, "i thought we were leaving in two weeks!"

"did i say two weeks?" he nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, "i meant one. we have to leave for the harbour a few days before our departure," he was obviously unbothered by how upset you were, "i'm only helping you pack."

he rummages around in your room before picking something up with his slender fingers, turning to you with a grin that sent chills down your spine, "come here."

you obey his command, sensing that he was on the brink of losing his temper. he grasps your hand with a painful. bruising grip, and you were almost certain that he was crushing your fingers. in his other hand, he held a heavy ring, one that was far too familiar, with the expensive, shining stone glaring up at you. you already knew what words were inscribed into the band, despite never wearing the ring again after the first time he placed it onto your finger. as the cool metal slid onto your finger, you thought it was deceivingly beautiful; a ring doubling as a collar being locked into place, to serve a reminder of who you were tied to.

[himikochan]

thoughts on the costuming in rings of power?

HELLO hello I've got a lot of thoughts all over the place and they are below the cut

I wanna start with some caveats re: me and rings of power

-I am a professional costumer and I've worked with people in film/streaming/tv/etc and professionals in/out of the union but my main work is in live theater

-I am a Big Old Tolkien Nerd but have only read the Silmarillion a few times and not recently

-I am 100% on team

I am so far on Team No Hate Watching that I called up my Tolkien friends back in 2020 to debate whether we'd watch anything Amazon made for the LotR-universe and unanimously decided we wouldn't trust the universe with Amazon

so that being said, everything I've seen of Rings of Power is from the trailer and screen caps on tumblr/facebook

ALSO when I refer to the Lord of the Rings movies, I am referring to the Peter Jackson movies because I do not have the time to compare every adaption

So what I’d like to start off with is the weird trend of like... romanticized Roman/Greek and Celtic-Briton influences 

(^ Gil-galad- a Noldorin)

(^ Isildur and.... Numenoreans? idk didn’t watch)

(^ Sadoc Burrows, Harfoot Hobbit)

(^Durin IV of Durin’s Folk/Khazad-dûm)

(^Disa - didn’t watch, google just says she’s a dwarf)

A lot of these costumes are distinctly referencing what we think of as classical Greek/Roman and Celtic-Briton clothes (note: “actual” clothes for Greeks, Romans, and Celtic-Britons were different- and I think it’s important to make the distinction between historical garb and the way it’s been stylized in the last 100 years).

Greek/Roman Influences: the stylized wreath crown, the way they’ve draped most of the cloths into chiton, peplos, himation, and chlamys, the broad swaths of unadorned/untextured fabrics 

Celtic-Briton-ish-ish Influences: I’m feeling this in the dye palette they chose which yes I know isn’t super-duper location specific but these colors look very derived from woad, madder, weld, lichen, and gall nuts which have usually been available in the isles, tell me Durin’s crown doesn’t you of the Waterloo Bridge Helmet, the studded armor is kind of ahistorical but frequently dramatized for Celtic-Britons, here just pop around this article (Celtic Clothing: Bronze Age to the Sixth Century) and I think you’ll get what I mean 

I guess that’s a choice to make it seem “earlier” than the other Tolkien movies we’ve seen lately, but carries across the different groups it seems too bland/similar across it all for me. Without getting too deep, these folx are from different ethnic groups/races and it’s kind of weird their clothes don’t seem more distanced from each other (they hail from Aman, Numenor, the Shire/Eriador, and Khazad-dûm/Misty Mountains).

But maybe more importantly I think it’s pretty weird they didn’t push the design more in an art nouveau/pre-raphaelite direction: considering that both of those design philosophies fit in much more neatly with Tolkien’s work and what he emphasized in his descriptions. Both lean more towards figures that are nestled in the natural world and emphasize the beauty of organic curves and a world a little more intense (especially in color) that ours is. Gil-Galad’s cloak does have a watery drape which is nice but the lines of his cross belt, color palette, and the brooches overwhelmingly read more imperial Roman than Tolkien character.

All of this makes Galadrial’s armor so much more... dissonant with the rest of the costuming. Her cuirass/mail combo reads so much more aggressively modern than the rest of it- even more modern than the armor of Lord of the Rings (which, admittedly had similar plate/mail combos but leaned more into a faux-medieval stylization). Also, to be nit picky, I think the lack of a gorget (neck piece) in field armor looks weird :S

I tried to find a better example to illustrate my point but here’s Ingres’ Joan of Arc at the Coronation of Charles VII which is an 1854 depiction of an event that took place in 1429 and presents a very modern adaption of armor. NGL my mind keeps filling the spot on Galadrial’s plate with the sacred heart- her armor reads as such a Catholic-virginal-femme-knight vibe which is very much at odds with the overly classical costumes for the rest of the characters.

I do think her armor is cool looking but it doesn’t feel like it exists in the world of Rings of Power nor does it really fit in with the Lord of the Rings movies... The closest I could think of offhand is Aragorn/Elessar’s armor for the coronation in Return of the King and even that reads as “older” or more grounded in the film-world than Galadrial’s.

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I’ve seen a lot of comments on the costume quality in costuming groups so I’ve linked the above post here [it’s a public post so you don’t need a facebook account to view it] which covers a lot of it but I’ll have my own rant too.

There’s for sure a decrease in the quality of costumes from the Lord of the Rings movies which is... so disappointing and TBH expected from the most expensive tv show ever in 2022 and from Amazon. I think a lot of people are aware of the aggressive shift towards using CGI for messing around with costumes: it takes TIME and MONEY and SKILL to produce the wonderful costumes we saw in Lord of the Rings and, to be frank, the work of many many costume/IATSE union members which Amazon isn’t going to pay for. The overall time frame for producing tv/movies has gotten a lot shorter which has forced a lot of costuming departments to cut corners in design and execution.

That is how rumpled costumes make it on the screen, that is how you get so many wigs that move unnaturally, that is how the most expensive tv show ever gets such a... bland and milquetoast design. The Lord of the Rings costumes were littered with so many small and very intentional details that brought more personality to the characters and made the world seem more grounded and real.

HOWEVER- I would like to make a note on Miriel’s screen printed undershirt.

I’ve been making clothes a long time, I’ve seen a fair amount of all levels of live theater, I’ve gone to fashion exhibitions, and seen a lot of movies. What I mean to say, is that I’ve seen a lot of art involving clothes/costuming with big and small budgets and many different intentions. Over the last few years, I’ve seen the expectations for local theater and bespoke clothing rise dramatically while keeping the pay low and rushing for time- I think a lot of people are so disconnected from the process of making clothes that it’s been hard to temper your expectations away from what a big budget movie house is able to do.

I 100% Absolutely Think that Rings Of Power SHOULD have done so much better!!! They literally had so much money they could have invested in costume professionals and materials and taken their time to let a nuanced and well-made wardrobe emerge. 

But! I would like to take a moment to admire Miriel’s screen printed undershirt. I’ve seen a lot of people bash it without nuance. It’s not an appropriate solution for literally the most expensive tv show ever- but can you imagine what a clever idea this is if you were putting on a dance performance and needed a full range of movement? Or if you’re staging a production of Cinderella and bought a plastic breastplate and your producer (OhFuckOhFuckOhFuck) only budgeted $100 for a character that’s supposed to be fully armored?

Costume designers and shop workers are overwhelmingly paid less than their peers in other departments (maybe it’s because many of them are from marginalized genders.....) and frequently given a smaller budget than other departments in live theater. I recently had a friend of a friend reach out to me about a musical where they budgeted $300 for 20 full costumes!!! That’s $15 a costume from a professional theater!!!

I absolutely adore the tremendous growth in cosplay we’ve seen over the past decade and the cool costumes we’ve seen from high-budget period and fantasy shows: but a lot of your “run-of-the-mill” costume designers have been run ragged trying to meet the expectations of Hollywood movies on a shoestring budget and it’s been disheartening to see a lot of these kinds of practical solutions bashed online. There was and should have remained a distinction between the quality expectations of big budget films or the passion projects of a cosplayer VERSUS what the majority of professionals do within their budget.

I’ve heard more than a few of my fellow designers and technicians cry because a costume looked GREAT with the distance from stage to audience or properly lit- but was bashed from a close up photo or because the director didn’t like that the “illusion”/solution only worked on stage. I’ve seen catty arguments online where a costumer is trying to build their own platform shoes (VERY VERY DANGEROUS unless you’re a professional cobbler) because the show was usually done with them, their director insisted on them, and they didn’t have the resources to purchase new/used. Fuck I’ve worked rentals with people from a few of these actual high budget houses- trying to stretch a budget until it screams.

There’s a whole complicated discourse on fair wages and labor practices and budgeting that I’m not ready to get into- but I’d like to ask you to think of kindness and the suspension of disbelief. It doesn’t solve the structural problems that need to change, but a lot of professional costumers love their art/craft and are proud of the solutions they come up with in their line of work! Obviously we should expect better quality in examples like these- but I’d like to celebrate some of the costumes that are less “realistic” or “immersive” but do such a good job of conveying their part of the narrative that we overlook the proverbial screen-printed undershirt.

(Hel, Metropolis- needs no comment I love her)

(Monty Python and the Holy Grail- knitted chainmail)

(Jareth, The Labyrinth- one CRUNCHY wig)

(Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz- ruby slippers made with dyed satin and organza, three different kind of glass and plastic beads/sequins, and lit exceptionally well)

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I’m not the expert on all of this and I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts (please be kind and act in good faith)! I’m not about to say great things about the Amazon costumes for Rings of Power, but I hope that you’ll be more forgiving online for other designers making the best of their time/budget 

Love, your local costume professional