#i've been kind of slow this year

[honourablejester]

Tagged by @theoutcastrogue

Tag someone you want to get to know better! Or just check in with.

Favourite colour: I change my mind on this all the time, but red and green are both recurring favourites. I tend to like darker, saturated tones for both, and also veering towards yellow more than white when going lighter. Think garnet over ruby, peridot over emerald?

Last song: Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin. I’ve exploring songs with a kind of dark folklore vibe on youtube? See also It Goes Dark by Elk Eyes (found that one via the show Midnight Texas), Saint with a Fever by Patrick Park (found via a Miracles fanvid waay back when). For a classic with this sort of vibe, Sinnerman by Nina Simone.

Last movie: God, when was the last time I sat and watched a movie? It’s actually been a while. Nothing new either, I think I was mostly watching classic B-movies, also on youtube, like 1946’s Shock with Vincent Price (despite the name and star, it’s not a horror movie, it’s a noir thriller about a woman who witnesses a murder and winds up under treatment for shock by the murderer himself, who realises what she would have seen to put her in this state. So, um. Be careful if you have medical triggers? But it’s fun seeing Vincent Price in one of his, shall we say, more subtle roles).

Currently watching: I’ve been quite enjoying Legends of Avantris’ Icebound D&D campaign. There is one particular arc that I keep wanting to scream at people about, because it is such a fantastic use of a couple of creature types and abilities in conjunction to make an absolutely horrifying and icily logical plot. A+ DMing, excellent excellent excellent use of creatures.

Other stuff I watched this year: I’ve been extremely low effort and low maintenance this year, in that I’ve mostly been following Minecraft SMPs and TTRPG playthroughs and calling it good? I haven’t watched an actual TV show in ages. I’ve also found Cinema Cities youtube channel and have been using her videos as recs to look up classic noir and horror films, which has actually been quite a lot of fun (she’s how I found Shock above).

Shows I dropped this year: All of them, apparently? Well, no, it’s mostly that I haven’t picked up any new shows this year. For a couple of years, I think. It’s been a while.

Last book: I semi-recently went on a buying spree through the local second hand bookshop, and I’ve been working my way through my haul. There were a couple of the Lost Fleet series by Jack Campbell in there, which is quite fun if you like military sci-fi. I also got a few horror short story anthologies, including the first of the Black Wings of Cthulhu collections, and a couple of nice collections of ghost stories.

Currently reading: Are we counting solo play D&D adventures? Because I’m currently on Drums at Daggerford with my cleric/ranger, and I am continuously checking to see if the next book in the Eight Petals Argent series has come out yet.

Tagging @oneiriad, @minathevampireslayer, @liuet, @centaine7, @travellingwiththedead, and anyone else who would like to play.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

sometimes I think abt how the months coming up to and the prom night in freshman year must feel to class swap sklonda. your perfect kid who has literally never gotten a single reprimand for anything does what can only be described as a quad crit crime combo and becomes a nerd punisher by the end of the night

[basketobread]

You’re genuinely so funny. You should seriously make some kind of comic

omg this is such a late response but i hope you know that i made this EXACT face when reading this. thank you SO much!!! i really would love to make a comic soon featuring my oc's or something... maybe i'll get around to planning one eventually. but comics aside, your words mean SOOO much. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!! 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

[lunarharp]

pretty & cute witch men

[extra-love]

Happy New Year, @spear-gsun , I was your @touhousecretsanta for this year- I have one fresh miss Mizuchi for you!

Apologies for how late it is! (Thank you for waiting warmly ^^;) I hope the new year treats you well!

[disdaidal]

I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

[minimoll7]

I really want to draw and post art again but yet its been so incredibly hard to really to do anything? I'm at a point where I really just don't know why. I tend to sketch stuff and maybe sometimes I'll start working on the line art but then I just stop and never go back

I don't know what my problem is or what is really stopping me. I get really happy when I sketch and things are coming out really well!! But then that's kind of it? Its not like I feel super depressed about it or anything, so what's holding me back? A big ol mystery

[watery-melon-baller]

its so fun :)) and awesome :)) that i cannot fucking make my brain focus on my homework :))) holy shit im gonna kill someone :)) why can't my brain just work for five fucking minutes :)) this is easy homework too I just can't concentrate on it at all :)) and it's due tomorrow morning :)))

[britneyshakespeare]

i think reading the first three shakespeare henriad plays back-to-back-to-back has broken my brain for the last three months

[eggmeralda]

can you get burnout from doing nothing

[sylhea-raemi]

next shiraishi an event is gonna be bout for beside you part 2 with worse trust issues (thanks ken), worse abandonment issues, worse inferiority feeling

[endlessfuckup]

Are you okay?

Not really :/

Constantly dealing with one traumatic/chaotic event after another

[cardentist]

hey, so people need to be aware that youtube is now (randomly) holding basic features for ransom (such as being able to pin comments under your own videos) in exchange for Your State ID/Drivers License, or a 30 Second Video Of Your Face.

not to pull a "think of the children," but No Actually. I've been making videos as a hobby since 2015 (and I've had my channel since middle school), I was a minor when I started and I'm not sure I would have understood the kind of damage something a seemingly simple as a video of your face can do.

this is a Massive breach of privacy and over-reach on google's part No Matter What, but if they're going to randomly demand a state ID or license then they absolutely should not allow minors to be creators.

google having a stockpile of identifying information on teenagers is bad enough, but the Alternative of recording your face and handing it over to be filed away is Alarming considering it opens the gates for minors who Aren't old enough to have a license.

and yes, there is a third option, but it's intentionally obtuse. a long wait period (2 months), with no guarantee of access (unlike, say, the convenience of using your phone's cameras for either of the other two), with absolutely No elaboration on what the criteria is or how it's being measured.

it's the same psychological effect that mobile games rely on. offer a slow, unreliable solution with no payment to make the Paid instant gratification look more appealing (the "payment" in this case being You. you are the product being offered).

and it's Particularly a system that (I think intentionally) disadvantages people who don't treat their channels like a job. hobbyists or niche creators who don't create regularly enough or aren't popular enough to meet whatever Vague criteria needs to be met to pass.

markiplier would have no problem passing, your little brother might not be able to. and while Mark's name is already out there there's no reason why your little brother's should be too.

something like pinned comments may seem simple, you don't technically Need it. but it's a feature that's been available for years. most people don't look at descriptions anymore. so when there's relevant information that needs to be delivered then the pinned comment is usually the go to.

for my little channel that information is about the niche series I create for. guides on how to get into the series, sources on where to find the content At All (and reliably so). for other creators it can be used for things Much More Important.

Moreover, if we let them get away with cutting away "small" features and selling it back to you for the price of your privacy, then they Will creep further. they Will take more.

Note: I have an update to this post here: [Link]

[arolesbianism]

Sorry for failing to post more than once every 3 am anyways more stalien icons 👍

[ilxiu]

i hate having to babysit other's emotions

[idiopathicsmile]

School Gymnastics: A Tragicomedy

So one day when we were in third grade, our P.E. teacher divided us into girls and boys. (I don’t remember what the boys had to do. Wrestling? Tackle football? I don’t know, probably not at age nine, but that’s not the point. Gladiatorial combat? I still don’t really understand kids’ sports.)

What matters for this story is that all the girls had to do gymnastics. Now—and I suspect this won’t surprise you if you know literally anything about me—I was always terrible at any form of school athletics. I am intensely, almost impressively uncoordinated. This doesn’t affect my life much at 36, but it was often a miserable way to be a kid. The only playground game I liked was playing pretend, because when you are playing pretend, you don’t have a bunch of people ostensibly on your side screaming in your ear, “Pretend faster! Pretend over there! Pretend with greater accuracy!”

Anyway, gymnastics and my clumsy, doughy little body. I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I couldn’t do a backwards somersault. I couldn't do any of it. We had an entire unit on this business and I literally did not learn how to even safely attempt a single move besides the log roll (lie flat and roll sideways on your belly). In retrospect, this seems like maybe it was in part a teaching problem, not a me problem, but that’s actually not the point either.

The point is, at the end of the unit, we were told to divide ourselves into little teams and choreograph a group gymnastics routine. My group, faced with my long list of limitations (more limitation than girl, really) decide my role will be to just forwards-somersault around the rest of the group as they do their moves. (This is itself kind of embarrassing but trust me, it is but the appetizer.) My friend Ashley has the Lion King soundtrack and we all agree that it is a great choice. The movie has only come out a couple of years earlier, and it of course features some funny, peppy options. 'Hakuna Matata'? 'I Just Can't Wait to Be King'? It's all coming together.

Carried on a wave of youthful enthusiasm, none of us even think to double-check which track Ashley has picked. Foreshadowing!

So the day of the performance comes. Another group goes right before us. They had picked “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, which was a huge hit at the time. I mean, it still is because it’s a classic, but then it was big and new. They step onto the mat and immediately begin to do choreographed dance moves, which they have worked into their routine. We had not thought of this. Oops. Dance moves, of course! So they incorporate the necessary gymnastics, it goes over really well, the energy is high, and now it’s my group’s turn.

I take my place at the edge of the mat, the mat we are required to stay on for the length of the piece. Ashley cues up the track she’d chosen.

A song starts up. Instantly, I recognize it from the movie. It is the very slow instrumental music that plays when Simba realizes his dad is dead.

‘Well, this is not optimal,’ I think. I've been on this planet for nine years; I can see that much. But it’s too late to change the track, and so I tell myself, ‘It’s okay. I’m a performer. I can sell this.’ I put on an extremely solemn face and begin to execute a series of the world’s saddest somersaults.

Friends, when I say “sad” I mean it, in every possible sense of the word. Picture a nine year old with the gravest possible affect, determinedly doing somersaults to the slowest, most serious music she can imagine, in a careful ring around her friends who have actually learned any gymnastics whatsoever. Okay, now as the music starts to pick up and get more hopeful, imagine she gets real dizzy and in front of everyone, she rolls all the way directly off the mat, careening dangerously towards the assembled students.

Somehow, I roll myself back onto the mat, we survive what feels like hours of humiliation, we stagger away, and I blessedly avoid adding “puking my guts out in front of all of my peers” to my very short list of gymnastics tricks.

Later, I asked Ashley what in the world possessed her to choose that song.

“It didn’t have any words,” she said.

(There was absolutely no rule against using songs that had lyrics.)

Anyway, that’s why being an adult is better than being a kid.

I may have to do laundry and make my own dinner and wrestle with more complex existential angst, but you know what I haven’t been asked to do in like 26 years? Somersault for three minutes straight to the musical shorthand for “this cartoon lion cub has no choice but to process the weight of unimaginable grief for his dead dad.” And you know what? If I live another 50 years, I can be pretty confident nobody will ask me to do it then, either.