#i've barely felt like a person lately but these were nice to make

[sshirakumo]

toga himiko -> s7e5

[andhumanslovedstories]

I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."

Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."

And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.

There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.

Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.

So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!

(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)

Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.

This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.

[eaterofman]

Yandere Coworker Harem x New Hire Reader: A Meeting with the CEO

Follow up to this post

Finally fed up with it all, you decide to leave... but you learn it may not be that easy.

Content Warnings: General creepiness, yanderes, financial manipulation, manipulation, power difference, gaslighting

AN: Holy shit the first part blew up, more so than any post I've ever made on tumblr... ever. Thank y'all, and I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations? Had to ignore a few asks since they were essentially the plot to this part, haha.

As nice as Jake is... it starts to wear on you. The seclusion from your other coworkers, Warren and Jax's constant attention, it all becomes too much. This was the easiest money you've ever made, but it almost felt... condescending in a way. Seriously, you feel like you haven't actually worked in months, just given simple tasks to complete so that Jax could praise you. Otherwise, you felt like you were just eye candy set in a pretty office. No more, you figure. You make up your mind to go back to HR, it's been a long time coming. They either fix it, or you're gone.

With your mind made up, you return to Leon. He'd been so kind before, surely he'd help, right? As you explain your problems to him, he nods and gently smiles. In your distress, you don't notice his hand moving to cover yours, massaging yours comfortingly. You welcome the comforting sensation, overwhelmed to the point of not really considering the implications. You look into his dark eyes as you finish, silently pleading with him for help.

"That really is something. I'm sorry to hear your experience with the company has been so distressing. Tell me, do you have any proof?"

His demeanor seems to shift instantly back to the colder man you remember from your first sight of him. His fingers rubbing gentle circles into your palm shift into a harsher grip.

"Proof? I-I mean, the cameras have probably caught something?"

You'd say there were eyewitnesses, but all of your other coworkers had been avoiding you. You barely even knew their names...

"Unfortunately, our cameras have been malfunctioning lately, I doubt they'd catch anything. Without any actual witnesses, I'm afraid I can't do anything for you."

"How can you say that without even looking? This place is insane- you know what? I'm just quitting. I can't take this anymore."

You try to remove your hand but he keeps it there. His gaze is suddenly ice cold. He lets your hand go after a few moments of tension, fingers lingering before you yank your hand to your chest.

"Ah, you could quit... but I'd really recommend against it. You'd of course have to pay the dues you signed in your contract, as well as any additional fees. I'm not in charge of finances, but my estimate would be somewhere around... 200 thousand or so?"

You gasp, blood running cold. 200 thousand?! You don't remember signing that, but you also don't recall really reading over the contract in your excitement. You try to think of a way out, surely there had to be some sort of loophole-

"Of course, there's always the option of asking the CEO to change your contract, but..."

You'd tuned anything after that out, insisting to meet with the CEO as soon as possible. Which, to your surprise, was almost immediately. Almost like he'd been... waiting for you? Leon himself lead you to the CEO's room, at the very top of the skyscraper your office resided in. As you're let in, you're met with the biggest office you'd ever seen. It composed of the entire top floor of the skyscraper, massive windows encircling the entire ornate office.

You really try to ignore the feeling that you're walking into a trap.

The CEO was patiently waiting for you. Like a king on a throne, he sat in the middle of the room in front of a surprisingly simple desk. You'd heard of the CEO, Kennedy Grey, but you'd never met him in person before. He had an air of sophistication around him, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair and a well trimmed beard. His suit was pristine and looked expensive, probably costing more than your entire yearly salary. He smiled, urging the two of you to sit. His eyes glanced over to Leon's, a slight smirk on his face as if the two were in on a joke you weren't.

"So, what brings you two here? I've heard very good things about you from Jax. Things are going well, I presume?"

You fidget, despite his welcoming tone, he felt oddly... menacing. Like you weren't supposed to disagree with him, even if he asked you a question. You begin to explain your issues, but are quickly stopped with a firm look of disapproval when you bring up the idea of leaving the company.

"Now now, we can't have that, can we? With your contract, that wouldn't be a very smart idea, would it?"

Before you can even respond, he simply continues to talk over you.

"No, no it wouldn't. And you've just been such a good worker, we'd just hate to lose you."

"Well, I was actually hoping we could talk about the contract, I just don't think it's fair-" you can barely get your thoughts out as he cuts you off again.

"Unfair? But my dear, you signed it. I'd just hate to get my lawyers involved... they're top of the line, y'know? Besides, you don't actually want to leave, you're just... stressed. What do you need, a paid week off? A bonus for your hard work?"

"No-"

"Well, now that that's done, let's get back to work, shall we? You'll have a bonus on your next pay-"

You've had enough of his condescension and interruptions, it's time for you to interrupt him.

"You know what, I'll take the lawsuit. You people are insane. You can have the money if you want, but I'm out of here."

As you get up, you find you can't. Leon has moved behind you, surprisingly strong arms holding your chair in, preventing you from moving. You look up at him in angered confusion, but he's sharing a look with Kennedy. You once again feel like you're missing an important part of an inside joke again. You try to struggle, but you're stopped as Kennedy interrupts.

"Apartment 101, Evergreen Apartments, right?"

"W-wha-"

"You know, I've been venturing into the rental market recently. Very profitable at the moment. I actually just bought a few buildings in your area, including your little apartment. Such a shame, you know you could do better, right? All you have to do is ask..."

He smiles at you as if this was a normal conversation to him, like he was doing you a favor.

"I guess that makes me your landlord now, if you think about it!" his smile turns colder, eyes crinkling like he's laughing at you, "That being said, I just don't see how you're going to pay for the rent increase without this job. I hate to do it, but it's a necessity, y'know? Cost of living and such."

He waves his hand like it's no big deal, like he isn't playing with your livelihood and threatening you.

"You could move out, of course, but well, word gets around, and I just don't know how the other investors in the area would react to your... history."

You feel dread well up in the pit of your stomach and tears in your eyes. He... has you. What could you even do? Moving out of the city would mean starting over, and that's if you could even find a place and a job to pay for said place, and paying for the lawsuit-

In your panic, you can only whimper, "I just... why? Why me? i don't understand-"

"That's the beauty of it all, you don't have to. All you have to worry about is coming in and doing your job. We'll handle all the rest."

You jump, having almost forgotten Leon was behind you in your panic. You go to open your mouth-

"Wonderful insight, Leon. Now that we're all on the same foot, let's get back to work, shall we?"

You can only numbly nod your head, too overwhelmed to continue fighting.

You're finally allowed to sit up and begin walking towards the door, trying to speed walk out of the huge room that somehow managed to feel claustrophobic. You just wanted out at this point, you needed somewhere to think.

As you step into the elevator, Leon staying behind in the office-thank god-you're interrupted one final time.

"Oh, and I meant what I said. If you ever need any assistance, anything at all, just come to me. All you have to do is ask."

[alyrasturnz]

can u write a small cute little proposal for matt and reader

EIGHTEEN

❐ summary » matt proposes to y/n at the very spot where he first confessed his love for her when they were both 18. the place holds a special significance in their hearts, making the moment even more poignant and memorable. as he slips the ring onto her finger, memories of their youthful love flood back, intertwining with the promise of their future together.

❐ pairings » fiance!matt x fem!reader

❐ warnings » the bolded texts indicate flashbacks

❐ a/n && w/c » 800 special cause eighteen • 801

"i know i'm only 18 and there's so much i don't understand about life," matt began, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "but there's one thing i'm sure of, and that's how i feel about you. i've never felt this way before, and it scares me a little, but it also feels right." he paused, taking a deep breath, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.

"will you be my girlfriend?" matt inquired, his voice barely above a whisper, as he turned towards you, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and vulnerability. a sheepish expression danced across his features, and your smile, warm and inviting, was the only response he needed.

“yes,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, before closing the distance between you both and pressing your lips to his. his arms encircled you, drawing you closer as the autumn leaves cascaded around you like a tapestry of nature’s confetti. when you finally pulled away, soft giggles escaped your lips. you glanced upward, watching the leaves dance in the breeze, feeling as though the world had momentarily paused just for the two of you.

the words reverberated through the park, resonating like a distant echo yet carrying the weight of a cherished memory.

“why are we here, matt?” you inquire, gazing upward as autumn leaves cascade gently to the earth. it has been an eternity since you last stood here with him.

“it’s a nice autumn day,” matt said, taking your hand with a gentle yet firm grip, leading you through the rustling carpet of fallen leaves to the familiar tree where he had confessed his feelings. “you know i’d do anything for a stroll on an autumn day.”

you smiled, a wave of nostalgia enveloping you like a warm embrace. “yeah, it’s beautiful. are you sure there isn't more to this?”

matt halted beneath the tree, his eyes a blend of seriousness and tenderness. “there is more, y/n. this place holds a deep significance for us, doesn’t it?”

you nodded, memories of that first confession cascading through your mind like a river. “of course, it does. it’s where everything started.”

he took a deep breath, reaching into his pocket. “and now, i want it to be the place where everything continues.” he said, gently tilting your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow in curiosity.

he reached into his pocket, your eyes darting to it as they widened slightly in anticipation.

“y/n, i’ve been thinking a lot about us lately. about how we’ve grown together, laughed together, and even cried together. you’ve been my rock, my confidant, my best friend. every moment with you has been a treasure, and i can’t imagine my life without you,” he said, his eyes still on yours, his voice a tender whisper as his hand gently brushed a strand of hair from your face.

he paused, his voice softening to a near whisper. “i’ve loved you since we were 18. back then, i understood that to love is to be vulnerable. i was scared of that, but you taught me there was nothing to fear. you revealed to me that love is the most beautiful experience we can have.”

he gazed deeply into your eyes, his stare penetrating the very depths of your soul. “i believe that we’re the missing pieces to each other's puzzles. you complete me in ways i never knew were possible. i want to share every sunrise, every challenge, every joy with you. you’ve made me a better person, and i want to spend the rest of my days making you as happy as you’ve made me.”

you took a step back as he gracefully descended onto one knee, unveiling a ring with a flourish. “y/n, will you marry me?”

your lips parted in astonishment, words escaping you as tears immediately streamed down your face, tears of pure joy.

“yes!” you choked out, matt’s eyes brightening as a radiant smile spread across his face. he delicately took your hand, sliding the ring onto your finger with a tender precision before rising. without hesitation, he enveloped you in a passionate embrace, his arms encircling your waist with a protective fervor, while your hands instinctively found their way to cup his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips.

your tears mingled with each other's, creating a poignant blend of emotion. an autumn leaf gently descended, landing on your head, prompting a soft giggle. you extricated yourself from the kiss, your eyes meeting his with an unspoken understanding.

looking up, you both watched as a cascade of leaves danced around you, each one a silent witness to your shared moment. the world seemed to pause, the rustling leaves a gentle symphony to your love. amidst the falling foliage, you felt a profound connection, a promise of many more seasons to come, intertwined with laughter and tears.

taglist — @imwetforyourmom @meatballzerz69 @pinkishpearls @bandanamatt @thedangerousalleyway @muchloveforhacker @frozenpeanutbutterr @jetaimevous @everleiqh @conspiracy-ash @ifwdominicfike @blahbel668 @slutforsturnioloss @realuvrrr @sturnobsessedwh0re @cerismo

[chaysreality222]

‧₊˚ ⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.✧˖ °

. ۫ ꣑ৎ . 𝐈 𝐒𝓗𝐈𝐅𝓣𝐄𝐃 𝓑𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝓞 𝓐𝐍 𝓤𝐍𝓚𝐍𝓞𝐖𝐍 𝓡𝐄𝐀𝓛𝐈𝐓𝓨 . ۫ ꣑ৎ .

i'm beyond happy to be making a post like this. as you can tell by the title, I'VE SHIFTED! but the catch is i shifted to some unknown reality. still extremely proud of myself and happy, but there's just an ounce of disappointment that it wasn't one of my scripted drs. i've been waiting to tell you guys about it, so let's get into it!

the night of june 24th, 2024, i had chose to take the night off from attempting to shift and just sleep because the previous night i had already attempted to shift through my lucid dream. i fell asleep on accident and woke up at least once, and then fell back asleep.

i fell into a dream where something personal had happened where it caused me to be really sad. to set the setting, it was extremely late at night and i had been coming home. i needed to shower especially to get my mind off things. i checked my phone that was on the bathroom counter before my shower and it switched from 1:30 something am to 3:33 am.

This is when i became lucid. tmi my armpits were extremely unkept. (i feel like this was my dream showing me an insecurity of mine bc i had just waxed and was afraid of the hair growing back weird omg. but after i had stopped feeling insecure and told myself that it's just a dream and it's not like that irl, it went back to normal).

after that moment was passed, i was so exhausted and as i was showering i decided to sit down for a second on the ground of the tub. i was so tired and sad that in my mind i was thinking about how i wanted to just shift so badly. didn't matter what reality it was, i just needed it at that moment.

i laid my head back on the wall of the tub, then my eyes started to drift closed. i started to experience shifting symptoms from inside the lucid dream. there was flashing lights i saw through my eyelids, i felt a sense of floating, numbness accompanied by tingles down my body, and the room felt like it was spinning.

i naturally had woken up. (i'd say i just opened my eyes but it felt like i had woken up like any other time i've ever woken up in my original reality). i noticed i shifted! i didn't even question it, because i didn't have to. just as we are right now, wherever you are reading this, that's how real and natural everything was. you know for a fact you aren't dreaming right now, this is reality. that's the closest way of how i could explain how i knew i shifted.

my surroundings hadn't changed though. it was still the same bathroom setting like i had been in like that dream which i found to be an exact replica of my original reality (or) bathroom. the lights were off but candles had been placed around the bathroom to create this peaceful ambience. it was really nice. i felt the hot water running down my skin as it hit the top of my head, as well as the steam. i could also feel the tiles of the wall and the tub beneath my bare feet.

i also didn't feel the immense sadness and heaviness i was experiencing in my dream anymore. you know when you woke up from being scared or sad in the dream, and you feel a sense of relief because it wasn't real? that's the feeling i had been feeling but also happiness and curiosity from me shifting.

as i was just standing in the water and taking it all in, that's when the ounce of disappointment hit me that i shifted to some place but my actual scripted drs. in which i understand you can shift to unscripted places, but you guys get what i'm saying. i guess it's my fault for not focusing on any of my drs and instead hoping for any reality possible. (please don't take the disappointment i had felt to any offense! i'm extremely happy i shifted, just wish it was to my waiting room dr, etc). but hey, i shifted and that is what matters!

then i decided to shift back! i had no reason of staying there any longer and a part of me didn't want to get out of the shower and open that bathroom door. since it was a random reality, i didn't want to mess around and find out.

i was ready to go back to my or! and even though i had been thinking about my or, i didn't just shift back like i always thought i would or was always afraid of happening when i had shifted to say my hogwarts dr. it was just like every other thought i've had about my drs here! just because you or i think about our drs during the day here, doesn't mean we will just be pulled out of this reality and shifted over there. i hope i'm making sense, but i'm sure you guys understand what i'm saying.

anyway, i set the intention to shift back to my or and said my safeword as i closed my eyes. it's hard to explain but i could feel my consciousness shifting back to my or? then i had woken up back in my or! i checked the time and it was around 4 am on june 25, 2024. i believe i had been in my dr for a total of at least 8-10 minutes. i couldn't believe i had just shifted realities, but i was also dead tired. so i went back to sleep! but i have to say throughout that day, i was exhausted and still processing my shifting experience. so exhausted, i didn't really have the motivation to do much of anything.

first of all, thanks to those of you keeping up with my shifting journey and never failing to continue motivating me. it means a lot to be apart of this community of caring and helpful people <3 next stop is my waiting room dr! also a quick question to the experienced shifters out there, does dealing with the exhaustion after shifting get easier? thanks! as always, happy shifting!

xoxo, c!

[akutasoda]

Hey! I've never requested anything like this before but I saw that your requests were open and I thought I'd give it a go. I've been really sick for the past two weeks and I've had this terrible insomnia and I've just felt really kinda alone and abandoned lately. Can you write a soft Alhaitham x reader thing where he tucks reader into bed and cuddles and holds them and reassures that they're loved and safe and wanted? It would be really nice if you could also have reader relax into little space and be referred to as a guy, but if you aren't comfortable writing that then don't worry about it.

But yes so soft Alhaitham comforting needy and hurt reader please and thank you

his way of comfort

synopsis - he's noticed you're not quite yourself lately, so he tries to help

includes - alhaitham

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, slight angst, maybe ooc, wc - 705

a/n: this was actually req by @c1evererer, i hope you get better soon! no matter how alone you may feel, there will always be someone there for you!! please take care of yourself!

if alhaitham was anything, it'd be observant. he could have a keen eye on anything around and still pay attention to what he was doing, although sometimes he did choose to block out his surroundings with the trusty help of noise cancelling. although, alhaitham wasn't exactly a people's person. he couldn't care less about others around him, those that he associated with were barely excluded even though he'd still deny it.

however, no matter what, he would care about you. he never imagined caring about someone the way he did for you, but sometimes love made you do crazy things. alhaitham would willingly keep an eye on you at any time and even more so when he started noticing your mood shift into something sour. admittedly, he wouldn't intervene for a while as you may have simply had a bad day. but he couldn't ignore it after you seemed to get worse by the day.

your usual demeanour seemed to disappear by the day, in its place was a kind of sadness that seemed to make you slightly distant. alhaitham wouldn't pry, he knew it probably wasn't his place to, but he couldn't stand seeing you in such a state for any longer. he wasn't the best, or even knew where to start, when it came to comforting people but he wanted to try. something was plaguing your mind and he wouldn't sit there and do nothing.

he soon found you swiftly after returning home, immediately he asked if you had anything left to do for the day and at one shake of your head, he urged you to come with him. you weren't going to reject his offer, even if you would, you simply didn't have the energy.

you followed behind closely as he brought you to your shared bedroom. you let him lead you into bed and indulged in the way that he tucked you in, doing whatever would make you comfiest, uncaring for his own later - it didn't matter what he wanted, if it would help you feel better he'd do it. it felt nice. your usually stoic lover being so caring.

it wasn't too long after before alhaitham himself laid down beside you and brought your figure, covered in blankets, into his embrace. one hand found its way to yours as he laced his fingers with yours while the other reached to cradle the back of your head as he gently rested his on top of yours.

you two laid in a comfortable silence for a while before he broke it. “if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to” he paused slightly in hesitation before adding “as long as you know that i'm always here for you, whenever and for whatever”

another beat of silence. he pulled away slightly to look at you, “right now, i just want you to know that you're here, you're safe and loved” you could see his features softening ever so slightly.

“i don't know what i’d do without you sometimes, how dull my life would be without you, i never imagined it but now that i have you, i wouldn't have it any other way” he leaned in again, pressing a small kiss to your forehead, and letting you rest. eventually, you both drifted off in each other's embrace listening to his words of affirmation - alhaitham would claim it was the worst sleep he's ever had, but you would say the opposite and that's all he cared about.

alhaitham wasn't a people's person. he wasn't the best at comforting someone, but when it came down to you, he would try his damn hardest.

(for the following weeks, alhaitham became incredibly doing. ensuring that you returned to your normal self that he fell so hopelessly in love with)

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[sorcerous-caress]

Giving them a hug

[ Bg3, fluff, nb!reader, several characters ]

[ Omeluum, The Emperor, Nere, Nym, Sorn, Minthara, Raphael ]

Omeluum

"Child, you have returned. Has your search been completed?" Floating just above the moss covered ground, the mindflayer you've grown quite accustomed to seeing as of lately, was in his usual spot.

Without saying a word, you saw the curiosity in Omeluum's eyes as you approached him.

He didn't make a move as he observed you move even closer, wrapping your hands around him and burying your face in the front of his robe.

You can feel the tentacles floating above your head, unsure of where to go and awkwardly moving away to give your body the proper space.

Pressing yourself closer into his embrace, you took a deep breath as you felt his long arms pat your back.

"It seems you have been in quite the stressful state."

You didn't let go. You didn't want to. Omeluum understood that in his own way, finding your specie's need for physical contact very fascinating.

More so that you chose him as your stress relief, he feels deeply honoured.

The Emperor

"Very well." A familiar voice spoke inside your mind. And just like that, a portal to the asteral plane opened up to you

Stepping inside, you were met with the person of your dreams. Every detail of their being moulded to your taste and liking.

"There you are." A honeyed voice called out to you from their soft lips. They approached you with the enthusiasm of an overseas lover finally coming home to their partner.

"No." You took a step back from their offered embrace, inviting you into their warmth. "Not this, I want the real you."

The most beautiful eyes you've ever seen in your life stared at you with a worried expression. That faux worry barely lasted a second before their face became neutral again.

"As you say." Dispelling the illusion, The Emperor stood above you with his towering figure. Cold tendrills and the same haunting purple eyes.

Making the first move, you took a couple of steps forward. The tentacles parted and made a space for you to slot your body against his.

Cold to the touch with a very unfamiliar texture, it was smooth yet hard in certain places. Still, you wrapped your arms around him in a resemblance of a hug.

His tentacles slowly curled around your body parts. Twirling itself around each part and bringing you even closer.

He didn't have a heartbeat. He head three instead, each of them drumming to their own rhythm.

The tentacles kept caressing you, his arms stayed at his sides.

Nere

"You should've left to deliver my important message to general Thorm." Nere's voice didn't hide his annoyance and neither did his look of disdain, "just what are you waiting around for?"

You shrugged, "a hug."

Preparing yourself to receive even more mocking and complaining, you were pleasantly met with a tired sigh instead.

"First that...filthy drider creature's bursts of insanity and now your perversion, why do I always get the defective ones." Nere impatiently made his way into your personal space.

Just as you started to explain how you truly just wanted a simple hug and didn't have ulterior intentions, you were rudly hushed and pulled against his body.

He smelled...like burned powder and rubble, of course he did. But below it, you could catch a faint scent of lavender.

His arms were firm as they held you in place, squeezing just enough to make you feel a comfortable pressure.

And when you wrapped your arms around him gently, hugging him back, you swore you saw his pointy ears droop just slightly.

This was...really nice actually. You never expected to even get a hug, let alone one this comforting.

And then you were unceremoniously pushed away from his body, almost losing your balance and falling into the pits of lava behind you.

He didn't show any signs of caring, "I've indulged your degenerate fantasies enough, now go and do your job."

Nym

"Of course, anything you want." She smiled so sweetly as she said it, "would you prefer we get comfortable on the bed? I'd be able to hold you much longer then."

Her body was so soft, holding you closer to her chest. Drawing soothing circles on yout back with her expert fingers.

The atmosphere was very peaceful, her touches very gentle and she smelled even better.

You had no doubt that she genuinely wanted you to have a great experience, no matter how insignificant one hug might seem in the grand scheme of things.

To you, it was clearly important at this moment, and that's more than enough reason for her to go the extra mile.

Occasionally, she'd hum a tone, soft spoken words in drow language slipping past her lips. Slowly and carefully pronouncing each syllable like a lullaby.

Sorn

"A hug? Really?" Confusion clear on his face, he crossed his arms against his exposed chest, "you know, you could've just asked for my sister instead. This is her domian more."

You shook your head, "I know, but I wanted you."

Sorn's eyes narrowed at you in suspension, "Just to be fully clear with each other, is it really just a hug? This isn't some niche fetish or form of foreplay?"

"Just a hug."

Seemingl convinced with you not having ulterior intentions, much to his displeasure, Sorn stepped closer to you with opened arms.

Lean muscles enveloped you, awkward at first before easing into a more protective hug. Sorn was clearly taking inspiration from his only other source of hugs.

You felt safe in his arms, like you had someone to relay on.

"It will be okay, you're safe." His words of comfort came shortly. And despite his earlier reluctants, it felt like he genuinely meant them.

He held you tightly.

You hugged back, feeling his body shiver at the soft, non-intrusive touches.

After it ended, he stepped back. His body clearly more relaxed and at ease.

"I have to admit, that wasn't as bad as I expected."

Minthara

You swore you could see her judging you as she appeased your request in her mind.

You hoped that the trust you've built between the two of you so far would assure her that you weren't trying to backstab her or trick her.

"Come." She finally gave her permission.

Her blood ran hot, you realised as you were met with the warmth of her embrace.

Still, her body remained stiff as you held her. This was clearly a very unfamiliar territory to her.

"Try to relax, i promise you'll be safe." You whispered against her ear.

She took a deep breath, taking what felt like was a leap of faith to her, she let her body melt against yours.

Holding onto your waist, her firm grip kept you in place against her body.

She didn't let go when you attempted to pull away.

"If we are to stop this, it will be on my own terms." She said as she kept holding you close. You've willingly walked into her web, and there was no escaping now.

Raphael

"Why, of course, anything for my favourite client." His pride was clear in his stance even as he extended an arm to you, "come to me, little mouse."

Listening to the devil on your shoulder, you did.

You were met with burning heat, flinching away the second you touched him.

A low chuckle came from his lips, clear amusement at toying with you. "Oh is it too much for you to handle? My my, and here I thought you knew what you were getting into."

With a snap of his fingers, a soft glow envelops your body from head to toe. It made you feel lighter and left a hint of a sweet taste at the back of your throat.

"Here, something to keep that deary skin of yours from melting off. We wouldn't want to tarnish your beauty now, would we?" Cupping your face in his hands, you felt absolutely none of the previous heat as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb.

"Enough games, my hug, now." You said sternly as he laughed at your impatience.

But no teasing came. Instead, you were completely wrapped into his embrace. His wings enveloping you and caging you more into his body.

The expensive materials of his clothes did wonders to cover all the ridges and sharp angles underneath them that adorned his body.

For a moment in time, you managed to find rest and comfort in a devil's embrace. Willingly surrendering yourself to him as he pressed his nose against the pule point at your throat, inhaling deeply.

[writeplace-wrongtime]

The Bet

*cracks knuckles* fine, I'll do it myself.

Okay but seriously, I've only binge watched the first 6 seasons of criminal minds, so I'm probably a bit off with character personalities.

This turned into mostly the team finding out, so if anyone wants a part 2 with more scenes pre-reveal I'd love to write it!

masterlist coming soon

Word Count: 3k

CW// brief mention of kidnapping case, use of y/n (i'm sorry), not beta'd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘When was the last time you saw Hotch leave before the rest of us?’

The most recent case had been a relatively short one, allowing the team to get back to Quantico reasonably early. A young man caught kidnapping local women, caught easily when he appeared on CCTV taking his latest victim. Three women, three days. All had minor injuries, but all were alive. It had been the ideal end to the case and no loss of life meant the paperwork was minimal.

Emily’s voice caught the attention of Derek, who followed her gaze to the elevator, where the Unit Chief stood waiting. He raised his eyebrows, trying to think back on the last few months of late nights, week-long cases and multiple middle of the night calls.

‘Not since before his divorce,’ Spencer piped up helpfully from behind his desk, packing away the days half-finished reports and case notes before he too looked up. ‘Hey, has anyone seen y/l/n? They mentioned going for food on the jet, and I know this really nice Indian restaurant not far from here, I was going to suggest we all go.’

Now that Emily thought about it, she hadn’t seen you after you’d gone to Hotch’s office to drop off your report. Barely five minutes later, Hotch had made a beeline for the elevator, leaving unusually early compared to normal, and then you too had disappeared.

‘Holy shit.’ The dots were connecting in her head. ‘They’re totally hooking up!’

This gathered the full attention of everyone in the room.

‘Who’s hooking up?’ Penelope had her bag in hand as she peeked in the door, drawn to the gossip like a moth to a flame.

‘Y/l/n and Hotch!’

‘Oh my god!’ Penelope was quick to rush over to the group now huddled around Emily’s desk.

‘No way,’ Derek was shaking his head, arms crossed over his chest. They’d been working as a team for years, there’s no way you and Hotch were in a secret relationship, and no one had noticed. ‘Come on, you really think they could have hidden something like that from us?’

Spencer shrugged, joining the conversation fully. ‘Hotch hid the fact that Emily was alive from all of us for months, so a secret relationship wouldn’t be that hard for him.’ Emily grimaced at the comparison, searching for any hint of bitterness in his tone, though found none. He had been hurt that they hadn’t trusted him to know the secret, but that hurt had faded over the couple years since Emily had returned. He offered her an apologetic smile, as if only realising what he’d said.

‘Want to make this more interesting?’ Quick to bring the conversation back to inane office gossip, Emily reached into her bag to pull out her purse. ‘100 dollars they’re doing it.’

‘Oh, you’re on. 100 they’re not.’ Derek placed two fifties on top of Emily’s two. Another two went down, and they both looked up to see Spencer sheepishly tucking his wallet back into his pocket.

‘I think they’ve been dating for a couple weeks now, I assumed everyone else had noticed.’

Quickly, Penelope had joined, and much to everyone’s surprise, so did Rossi. Penelope thought they’d just started dating, and Rossi thought it had been at least six months. JJ scooped up the cash, promising to be a neutral party to assure the winner got the whole lot. Plus, when this inevitably went wrong, she did not want to be involved in the fallout.

‘Okay, but how do we get them to admit-‘

‘Or not admit,’ Derek cut in.

‘Or not admit, what’s going on?’ Emily mused. Everyone’s eyes instantly went to Penelope.

‘Oh no, no, no-‘

Penelope’s office felt quite cramped with some many people in it, the space only meant to house one technical analyst, not one technical analyst and five nosey special agents. Five nosey agents who were all huddled around Penelope to peer at the screen over her shoulders.

‘Oh it does not feel right tracking their phones like this,’ Penelope’s fingers danced across the keys as she brought up both locations, ‘My powers should only be used for good, not- not snooping on our friends personal lives!’ Still, she let the trace run its course, displaying the address for the others to see.

‘That’s Hotch’s apartment.’ Spencer recognised the address immediately. Two little dots blinked on the screen, Hotch’s address hovering above them.

‘So they’re together, that doesn’t mean they’re hooking up.’ Derek knew his argument was weak, but hell he had 100 dollars riding on it.

‘Oh come on, they sneak out and go to Hotch’s apartment and you think they’re what, making cookies?’

‘Kids, stop fighting,’ Dave put a hand on both Derek and Emily’s shoulders. ‘Why don’t you just phone y/l/n, invite them for food, see what happens.’

‘You think they’d lie to us?’ Spencer asked, as Penelope pulled out her phone and dialled your number.

‘They’ve been lying to us about this for weeks, if you’re bet is right anyway,’ Emily nudged him with her elbow. He nudged her back.

‘Technically it’s an omission not a lie, since none of us directly asked if they’re-‘

‘Shhh its ringing!’ The room fell to silence as Penelope put her phone to her ear.

~

Even though it had been a short case, you had been looking forward to getting back. And by how quickly Aaron had offered up his apartment for a movie night, he had been too. It was important to keep a clear line between boss and boyfriend while in the field, and it was only professional to stay in separate rooms during cases, so it felt good to have Aaron back in boyfriend mode, with comforting touches and quality time away from the office, away from the titles and roles that accompanied your positions at the BAU.

You had finished your report in record time. It was pure luck that everyone was too caught up in their own work to notice you slipping away. After dropping your report on Aaron’s desk, you had made a quick exit, waiting by Aaron’s car until he joined you in the car park. It had become routine to leave short gaps between your arrivals and exits, allowing the illusion that you had travelled separately, from different apartments, in different cars. It was a short ride back to his apartment.

You had only just settled back against Aaron’s side, a bowl of popcorn perched between your thighs when your phone buzzed.

‘Hey beautiful, where’d you run off to?’ Penelope’s sweet voice rang out from the other end of the line, ‘We’re going for food, you coming with?’

You glanced sideways at Aaron, who kept his eyes on the TV, though you knew he was listening in by the way his arm tensed around you. You gently squeezed the arm closest to you, relaxing further into his hold so he knew you weren’t planning on leaving.

‘Sorry Pen, not tonight, I’m, uh, not feeling great after today’s case…’ You trailed off, hoping she’d accept the excuse and you’d be home free. You should’ve known it wouldn’t be as simple as that. There was pause, and you could’ve sworn you could hear hushed conversation. Must’ve been the rest of the team packing up to leave. You felt almost guilty that they were still at the office, when you’d left as soon as your own report was done.

‘Oh honey!’ Her voice was laced with sympathy, ‘That’s it, we’ll bring the food to you! Nothing like good food and company to cheer up the soul!’ Your head fell back against Aaron’s chest with more force than necessary. Curse her and her kindness.

‘No, no it’s okay, really-‘ You tried to prevent your voice from giving away your panic, ‘No need to go out of your way! Tell the guys I said enjoy!’

‘Its not out of our way at all! See you in twenty, gorgeous.’ The line went dead before you had a chance to respond. You could feel the vibrations of Aaron’s quiet laugh behind you, tilting your head back to look up at him.

‘You think this funny?’ Your words were pointed, but the smile on your lips gave away your hidden amusement. In lieu of an answer, he leaned down to pepper kisses along your shoulder, the side of your neck, anywhere he could reach. You savoured the warmth of his lips against your skin, a soft moan escaping your parted lips as the kisses became more heated. Tilting your head back to give him easier access, you let out a disappointed whine when he instead detached from you, gently pushing you up until you were sitting straight.

‘They’re going to be at your apartment soon,’ He reminded you, giving your arm a squeeze before moving to stand. Your cheeks were flushed red, taking a few steadying breaths as he took the popcorn from your lap, placing it on the coffee table, before holding his hands out to you. Shooting him a mock glare, you resigned yourself to getting off the comfortable couch and getting your shoes on. As much as you loved your co-workers, so much that they were practically family, you really did not want to spend the evening with them, not when you could be curled up on the couch with Aaron, pretending the outside world didn’t exist.

‘Shit,’ You nearly tripped over your untied laces in your hurry to turn, ‘My car’s still at the office, Aaron I don’t have time to get back there, get my car AND-‘ Your words were halted by the soft press of his lips on yours. Clearly, you weren’t the only one wishing you could stay. Melting against him, your hands found purchase on the solid expanse of his shoulders, fingers digging into the soft material of his t-shirt. He pulled back, just far enough so he could press his forehead against yours.

‘I’ll drive,’ His voice was quiet in the minimal space between you, ‘Tell them your car broke down and I offered you a lift home.’ You just hummed your agreement, too caught up in his closeness to really be paying full attention. Overwhelming warmth encompassed you as you breathed in the faint smell of his cologne, trying to catalogue the feeling in your mind as your panic disappeared with the gentlest of touches.

‘Or,’ You offered mildly, blinking up at him through your lashes, ‘We could just turn our phones off, lock the door, and deal with all of this tomorrow?’ Soft open-mouthed kisses were pressed to the column of his throat in between your words, hands climbing to wrap around the back of his neck. Your fingertips teased the baby hairs at the base of his skull. You knew he wouldn’t take you up on the offer, even when his hands gripped at your waist, pulling you flush against him as he once again claimed your lips with his.

 It had been a tough decision, keeping the relationship from your team, but you had both ultimately decided that it was for the best, at least while things were still new. Then, six weeks had turned into six months, and six months into nearly a year. It was becoming harder and harder to keep a secret, and you nearly wanted the team to catch on. You’d met Jessica, and had a proper introduction to Jack, even going so far as to have gone to a few of his soccer practices at Jack’s insistence. You had been slowly moving your stuff into his room, small things like toiletries, pyjamas and a few spare work outfits. You spent more time at Aaron’s apartment than your own. You loved it. What you didn’t love, was having to hide it all from your friends.

‘We really should go,’ Aaron murmured against your lips, ‘At least you’ll get free food out of this.’

You laughed softly at that, pressing one last kiss to his lips before pulling back, cheeks dusted pink. ‘I’d rather have you.’ A rare boyish grin was your only response, before he turned to grab his keys and you quickly tied your laces. You were soon on the familiar road home.

 ~

They didn’t wait around to see if you were rushing from Hotch’s apartment, instead piling into the back of Derek’s car haphazardly. All but JJ, who had familial responsibilities, and Rossi who just wanted to go home, managed to fit into one SUV.  If Rossi had been with them to take some of the blame, Derek might’ve even thrown on the sirens and lights. Instead, he skipped through a few orange lights, and just barely stuck to the speed limits. When they arrived at the Indian restaurant, Spencer was sent to pick up the order, being deemed least likely to do something stupid like flash his badge for quicker service. Emily followed him inside to help carry it all back to the car. Even without the badge, they managed to make it in and out in under ten minutes. Luck was on their side, getting them to your apartment just 25 minutes after Penelope had hung up on you.

When they came to a stop outside your apartment complex, your car wasn’t parked in its normal spot, and they had a moment of celebration before Spencer realised the light was on inside. A light that meant you had beat them.

They all had to hide their disappointment when you greeted them at the door, not showing any sign of having rushed from one apartment to the other. Being one of the closer apartments to the office, yours was often used as a base for nights out, girl’s nights, and team movie-nights. It was the team’s apartment more than it had ever been just yours. Moving seamlessly through your kitchen grabbing plates, cutlery and glasses, Emily and Penelope set to organising the food, while Spencer and Derek moved your coffee table to the centre of the room so everyone could sit around it. It warmed you to know they felt at home here.

‘I’ll have to get someone to look at it tomorrow,’ You sounded morose enough that Emily almost believed your “car trouble” story. She just hummed her commiserations before stealing some chicken from your Jalfrezi. As much as she’d hoped to catch you and Hotch in your lie – or omission as Spencer would remind her – she enjoyed spending time with you, and this had been the perfect excuse for a team night.

‘Hotch didn’t stick around after dropping you off?’ Emily asked casually, scooping up a mouthful of curry with the edge of a poppadom. If you noticed the groups sudden interest in your conversation you didn’t show it. You shook your head, pushing the thought of his hands on your waist and his lips on your skin, out of your mind.

‘He was just being nice, he probably has better things to be doing after a case than hanging out here.’

Derek had to hide his laugh with a cough. You frowned at him, but before you could question it, Emily dragged you back into a conversation about Sergio and how he stole her bagel the other day. She glared at Derek when you weren’t looking. Conversation flowed easily after that, and it wasn’t long before everyone was on their second helping of food and the booze cupboard had been ransacked.

‘Hey babygirl, you seeing what I’m seeing?’ Derek had just sat back down with his second full plate when he spotted it; the start of your downfall. He nudged Penelope, nodding his head toward you. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before rising nearly to her hairline. A sharp “oh my god” left her lips, before she covered her mouth. Just beneath the edge of your oversized t-shirt, a small red mark was blooming on your skin. It looked suspiciously like a hickey. A very, very new one at that. Penelope’s little outburst was quickly noted by Emily, who paused mid-conversation to notice what they had. Her shit-eating grin matched Derek’s perfectly.   

‘What?’ You frowned at her, quickly glancing at Spencer opposite you. He shrugged, offering no help.

‘Maybe Hotch stuck around for a little while after all?’ There was a teasing lilt to her tone as she reached out to tug your collar a little lower. You could feel heat rising up your neck into your cheeks, a beautiful shade of crimson. Covering the offending mark with your hand, you tried to come up with an excuse. Nothing came. Opening your mouth and then closing it a few times, you tried to look anywhere but at your friends. You were caught and you knew it. They knew it too.

‘Is there any point in me saying I burnt myself?’ You tried for a smile, but it turned out more like a grimace.

‘Nope.’ Emily said, popping the “p”.

‘Aaron and I, we, uh…’ You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt, your blush darkening, as Penelope mouthed “Aaron!” at Emily, who practically giggled. You were going to have to restock your alcohol cupboard before they came round again. You took a breath, glancing around the room. All eyes were on you.

 ‘We’re dating.’

There was an immediate outburst of “oh my god!”s and “I knew it!”s. You had expected to feel awful when your secret was finally out in the open, but all you could feel was relief. Well, and a tinge of embarrassment. Warmth bubbled in your chest, looking around the room at your team, your family, knowing you didn’t have to hide it from them anymore.

‘What ya thinking about over there?’ Emily nudged your arm, a small tendril of guilt creeping through her. You’d obviously wanted to spend your evening with Hotch, and instead they’d dragged you away in a hurry, all just to invade your privacy. A small grin broke through your façade.

‘I’m thinking, seeing as it’s not a secret anymore, I can leave you losers and go back to spending the night with my boyfriend.’ A chorus of cheers followed your words, and someone (you suspected Emily) shouted “Go get some, girl!”.

Spencer wrinkled his nose at that. ‘Gross, remember that’s Hotch we’re taking about, he’s pretty much our work dad.’ His words caused a laugh to bubble in your chest, and you leaned over Emily to plant a big kiss on his cheek.

‘Guess that makes me your new work-mom!’ He made a big show of wiping your kiss from his cheek, but the small smile that followed gave away his charade.

‘What are you waiting for beautiful? Your man is waiting for you!’ Your wide grin echoed Penelope’s as she ushered you up and out of the living room. Your overnight gear was already at Aaron’s, so all you needed was your shoes and phone. You felt almost giddy as you threw the spare key to Spencer.

‘Don’t stay up too late kiddos!’

‘Hey, hold on a second,’ You glanced at Derek, who had started stacking plates to take to the kitchen, ‘How long has this been going on?’

‘Oh… Y’know, only about 11… months.’ You shot them an abashed smile, before darting for the door as all hell broke loose.

‘You didn’t win the bet either!’ Emily and Derek’s argument floated out the door with you, and you couldn’t help but laugh. Of course they had bet on it. You didn’t have it in you to care, instead shutting the door with a sound click. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you dialled Aaron’s number.

‘Hey handsome,’ You couldn’t help the smile that carried through in your words, ‘You want to finish that movie?’

[imageingrunge]

A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:

WHAT I LIKED:

The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor

The game is pretty, CC is nice

They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO

no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too

Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games

WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)

Voice Acting & Dialogue

It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap 

A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:

 Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)

Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button

The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:

Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"

Companions & Romance

the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)

The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”

I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care

I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.

For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry

jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)

to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle

I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3

Combat - as a spellblade mage*

combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.

At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.

Lore & Story building

At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??

The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all

“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”

A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy

However…theyre kinda right this time around....

It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)

Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.

There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"

Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare

A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/

Qunari Culture

So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2

What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:

Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick"  There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now

I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff

TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on

[kairiscorner]

while you were sleeping . . .

🍰 genre: fluff ~

💭 summary: at a late phone call session with your best friend yuuta okkotsu, you both admit to something that changes the world you both live in–it changes him, and he couldn't even begin to express how happy it makes him, how whole you make him.

🎧 song inspo: while you were sleeping by laufey

the young boy's evening routine of calling you every night for you before lights out at the dorms had a slight change in the air to it, maybe it was just another humid afternoon for him, or maybe it was just another chilly night for you.

either way, there was something enchanting about the minute you opened your camera and smiled, greeting him sleepily as the pull of fatigue from the day's events came to bring you to a world of slumber. yuuta grinned himself seeing you curled up under the covers, with you staring back at him with a bashful smile drawn on your face.

"is it cold there?" he asked you as you chuckled lightly under your breath, slowly nodding. "it's december already, so..." you mentioned in a gentle whisper that could barely be heard, but to yuuta, it was a firm reminder of how long he had been away from his home, from his friends, from... you.

his smile faltered a bit, and he looked away from your face when you pointed that out. "true, true. but, hey, it won't be long now; i'll come back before you know it, and, maybe then i can help you warm up. i'll buy you something, a nice coat, perhaps?" he mused, not exactly asking you, but picturing in his mind's eye what kinds of colors you'd like, were he to gift you a coat or a scarf, if you ever needed one.

you pressed your lips together and knitted your eyebrows, pouting at his notion of gifting you something. "not that i don't like gifts from you, i just... want you to know that, y'know, you coking home is enough, yuu," you mutter out that last bit, your eyes a bit downcast as yuuta, in turn, looks at you through the screen–a tint of red across his cheeks. he was always easy to fluster, despite his now aloof appearance.

"you think so?"

"i know so," you asserted, looking back to see his now flushed face, giggling in response. "yuu, what's wrong? is it warm over there?" "it... kinda got warm after what you said," he mumbled out, stumbling over his words as all he could think of right now was how excited you probably were to see him in person once more.

your eyes remained focused on him, and his eyes remained glued onto you–there was a palpable tension in the air between you two, but what yuuta was grateful for the most was that you thought of him, remembered him, noticed him an ocean away.

"yuuta," you whispered, the dark haired boy immediately turning to look at you, giving you his undivided attention. "yeah?" he asked, his eyes wide and his cheeks pink. you smiled wider as the heat in your cheeks worsened; how could your past self ever believe you were finally going to say this?

with a deep breath, you uttered, "...i've loved you for the longest time," and then, silence followed those words. those words suddenly parted the world that you two shared, the world that once marked your friendship, your camaraderie–but then, it changed it into something greater.

those words not only shifted what was once normal for you two, but also built a bridge between you both. your confession changed everything, and... for the first time in your life, you had no second thoughts, no regrets, and nothing else you wanted to keep hidden from him.

yuuta's mouth went dry and agape, his eyes widened once more, and the blush on his face reached up to the tips of his ears, down to the base of his neck. "r-really...?" he stammered out in a soft voice. only a person truly special to the boy would be capable of making him, a special grade sorcerer, embarrassed and flustered beyond all recognition. and it made you even shier, how sweet.

you nodded and covered your lips, a smile breaking out as you felt all giddy at his reaction. his open mouth slowly curved into a grin, then, into a full blown smile. he ran his mouth for a little while, asking you all sorts of questions in a matter of seconds.

why? when? how? he wanted to know... everything, and everything, he wanted to give you. yuuta had never been able to fully articulate it before, it was just so hard, to put a label on these sensations he felt whenever you talked to him, walked with him, or slept on call with him... it always felt different, but he could never really name it, until that morning for you–3:30 AM, while you slowly drifted to sleep, yuuta okkotsu had been enlightened.

yuuta okkotsu was in love with you.

yuuta loved you.

"th-this is... amazing! i-i can't, i can't believe it, i-i... i love you, t-too," he muttered, a dorky smile on his face. he didn't care if anyone saw him, looking like an idiot, grinning as he talked on the phone, all lovestruck and smitten for you. however, your response to him was an involuntary snore.

yuuta looked at the screen, and saw that... you slept. maybe talking at half past 3 in the morning wasn't a good idea, but hey, at least the whole world was yours for the night; and he loved it, every single second of you two being the only people in the world, even for a few minutes.

"...good night, dearest... i love you, okay?" he whispered as he smiled, beaming as he looked at your sleeping figure. he admired you every time you looked like this, wishing he could kiss you goodnight or tuck you in.

he swears, when he gets home, he'll treat you like the lover he wants to be; the lover you deserve, if you're willing to make it official and go the extra mile with him, hand in hand with him–because, while you were sleeping, yuuta had fallen head over heels for you once more.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told a very poor person to stop asking me for money?

(🧍‍♂️💸 for ez finding, names are fake for obv reasons)

I (21, any prns) met Pink (21, she/they) in a fandom-specific RP server about a year ago. Everyone was (and still is) very nice, including Pink, the server owner. Pink and her family are very poor, barely even making rent, and she often plugged her donation posts in the server announcements channel (this happened a lot. at one point there was even a donations channel just for her). I didn't really mind because desperate times call for desperate measures, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, y'know?

About nine months ago (mid september) I decided to pay something for her (it was either the remains of her rent or her meds, I forgot which). I did it because I felt like it, and it wasn't much. I figured if I could make someone's life a little easier, I might as well. Then about a month later (last week of October) she DM'd me, also about meds. She seemed apologetic and honestly kinda desperate. I figured if she was going this far it was probably by necessity, so I sent money again. She asked about paying me back, but I declined the offer since when I give people money I pretty much expect it to be Gone lol. She asked me again for money twice within that week for some Emergency Essentials. I obliged the first time but gently refused the second. I work retail, I'm not made of money...

She didn't contact me again about this until early December, due to an overdraft. I declined because of a vet appointment and also Xmas shopping. Plus, I was in kind of a tight spot myself at the time (from around Nov-March I had to be really careful with my spending). She asked again in mid-December for rent money, to which I obliged. It was the last time I gave her anything. She then had *another* rent emergency at the very end of December, which I refused because I Have Bills. I should mention that some of these emergencies were not posted publicly (i.e. in the server) - she was asking me, personally, for help. Nobody else, at least as far as I know. Maybe she DMs everyone who sends money her way. I have no way of knowing.

In mid-January she asked me again for rent money, to which I politely declined due to my own financial struggles, and stated that I probably wouldn't be in a better position to donate until April. She seemed to understand and wished me well.

...until recently. She's made a habit of asking me for money again. Not as frequently as before (about once every 2-3 months. she did this in late May and again around march), but it does happen. I thought about telling her off the first time, but I wanted to compose myself lest I say something really mean, but by the time I felt like responding, she deleted it. Maybe she realized it was embarrassing? I don't know. This also happened with the May message. I was super inactive in the server by then due to being busy with Life Stuff. I've wanted to chat in it again lately because everyone else (including Pink, at least in overall demeanor) but it's kind of awkward when I have the literal owner DMing me for cash every few months.

At this point, I'm at the end of my rope. I want her to stop. It makes me seriously uncomfortable how she only ever contacts me to ask for money. Not even my closest friends of almost a decade - who also have financial struggles of their own - would ask me personally for money, and Pink is barely more than a friendly acquaintance. But at the same time I know she's only doing any of that *because* her situation is so desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and it feels rather two-faced to turn my back on her now.

WIBTA?

[alexiswritingstuff]

Just wanted to let you know that I've been binge reading all of your writings and I love them so much, keep up the good work! :)

I know you might have a lot of Gus requests, so it's okay if you put this one on the back burner for a bit. But I read the "Not So Scary After All" work and I was wondering if you could write a sort of sequel to it?

Maybe Jesse keeps trying to tell GN reader how obvious it is that he likes them. How he's seen him try not to smile when talking to reader, the softer tone of voice, things like that.

Reader obviously doesn't believe him and thinks that Gus is just being nice to his employees, especially the ones that are responsible for the cooks.

Anyways, after a few days of Jesse pestering the reader about it something happens to make them realize he might be right. I was thinking maybe they would make another mistake with the cook and Walter is there to see it. Maybe he gets mad, a little TOO mad, and Gus walks in 🤭 Or anything else works too! I just love the premise of a protective Gus that doesn't like to show how protective he actually is

First of all, thank you for the comment about my writings, I'm glad you have enjoyed them so far! Initially I didn't think about writing a part two, so I hope this does it justice, as well as that I hope it was what you were looking for!

Thank you for sending this in!

Not so scary after all. 2/2

Pairing: Gustavo x gender neutral reader.

Other appearances: Jesse Pinkman, Walter White.

Warnings: arguing, walter being a douche.

also be aware of spelling mistakes, or other errors. I do read these over but I can tend to miss stuff either way!

A/N: my brain has been fixated on other characters recently, so if these guys seem ooc then that may be why. It's hard to write scenes where gustavo is interested in another person because we barely get to see that in either show, so I also hope my portrayal of him just generally feels correct.

I hope you enjoy!

more Gustavo fics.

Taglist- @sukunamybeloved - @viviennemuerte - @miwagila - @marksassybanana

previous part.

It never mattered how many times you had gone through the same routine. Surprisingly, considering your line of work, waking up in the morning was always the most jarring part. 

You could’ve had a great nights sleep, not woken up at any point, had no distractions or noisy neighbours. Yet the second you were in that car to get to the laundromat, it was like you had to force your eyes to stay open. 

Which was apparently the same for Jesse too as there was a series of mumbles and grumbles that would fill the car every few seconds. 

Each time you spared a glance to the passenger seat he would be leant further and further into window, his head bobbing whenever there was a difference in ground level or direction of the wheels. 

It had you amused, but also a little concerned, “Did you wake up too early, or too late?”

Seeking no comfort from the hardness of the glass, and after his temple ended up smacking right into it, Jesse got himself to sit upright in a speed that closely resembled one of those stairlifts. 

He groaned, having to make consistent attempts to keep his body from just slumping all together, “Both?” His hands raised to his head, the sides of his fingers beginning to rub at his eyes as if it would rid them of their tiredness.

In all honesty, outside of the cooking sessions and other shenanigans you found yourself in, you and Jesse never really... hung out. There would be times where you had lunch together, or had to show up to his house if there was something to drop off.

But that was mostly it.

And there wasn’t exactly a reason as to why. You had absolutely nothing against Pinkman, it was like the opposite. The more you spent time with him, the more you felt like some kind of guardian watching over some kid. Even if he also was an adult.

“You had breakfast, though, right?” Your gaze was trained on the lane ahead despite your ongoing conversation.

You had just turned onto a state road, meaning that, regardless of it being early in the morning, people were up and about. Trying to get to their jobs.

It always made it seem busier than it was.

At first, in response to your question, Jesse simply emitted another mumble of something. He was thinking, the intensity in which he rubbed at his eyes increasing for a moment, and then his hands dropped. “Oh,”

“Shit, I don’t... I don’t know.”

You supressed the urge to sigh. It had already happened a few times. Depending on what he did the night before, there would be some mornings where his mind was rattled enough that he would almost forget where he even was, so.

You came prepared. 

“Well, I guess luck is on your side today.” you commented, flexing your fingers against the grips of the steering wheel, “There should be a sandwich or something in the back.”

By now Jesse’s head was leaning into the headrest, definitely having the same problem of trying to keep his eyes open like you did. The heat outside probably wasn’t a helpful factor either. “Seriously?”

You didn’t want to take your attention off of the road. The cars in front were starting to slow, and you needed to keep note of the distance from the ones at the back. “Check.” you told him, adjusting the rear view mirror for better visibility.

Jesse sort of rolled his head to the side after a moment, his chin almost knocking into the bone of his shoulder as his gaze cast onto the few items that were in the back seats.

He lazily blinked for a good few seconds, his eyes trying to adjust to the redirection of a sunlight beam. And then he saw it. Right in the middle.

A brown bag.

“No way.”

The next move he made was so fast that the seatbelt strapped around him had immediately stalled against his body, attempting to keep him in place at the assumption of sudden danger.

But that wasn’t enough to stop him at all. 

He pushed against it once, then twice, and then one more time before simply manoeuvring himself around the belt so that the top half would basically be protecting the car seat instead of him. 

When Jesse leaned himself between your seat and his, it was so much harder to keep your attention on the road. He was reaching out, arm extended as far as it could go and waving almost madly, until eventually, he grabbed the bag.

Jesse practically had to shove himself backwards to sit upright again, but soon he was able to resume his previous position with a big sigh of relief. Your head could only shake. 

Now, there was this sound a rustling paper that filled the entire car as you moved onto the accompanying lane. Something that was definitely not supporting your concentration. “Damn.”

His voice was muffled, the noises coming out of his mouth barely even sounding like a word which in turn made you send him a look.

He had finally gotten to the sandwich. “You make this?”

“Nah, I had too many errands to run.” you informed with a slight sigh, finally beginning to let yourself relax in your seat, “Would’ve done it if I had the time, but I think that is better anyway.”

Jesse didn’t even have to speak for you to know his response. He had taken another bite, nodding his head just slightly in proper approval. If his eyes were closed it would look like he was in pure bliss.

After relentlessly chewing for a hot minute, he attempted to swallow it down, “I didn’t-- I didn’t take you as an early riser.” Yet his voice was still almost unintelligible.

“Well, believe it or not, other people are in fact active in the mornings.” you pointed out, slightly leaning to the side for further emphasis on who the comment was aimed at in a way that had Jesse rolling his eyes. 

You swear you saw a clump of crumbs fly from his mouth when he next spoke, “Yeah, yeah-- You sure your too many errands wasn’t just you making sure that you looked good for a certain Fring?”

Your head snapped in his direction in a way that had looking back to the road immediately after, and probably almost gave you whiplash. But you saw it either way.

That damn grin had taken over his lips.

Again. 

“Please don’t do this right now.”

Jesse had to clear his throat to stop himself from almost choking, “Aw come on, man, it’s-- There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you did.” Your head shook like it had done before, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

It was always so stupid to you how the indirect mention of someone made your body react the way it did. You were only trying to get to work, yet your heart was acting as if you had just gone for a run. 

“But I do.” The look you sent Jesse almost had him wanting to put his hands up if he wasn’t so focused on his sandwich, “What? I do-- Look, I may not have that much experience, or whatever, but there is totally something going on.”

“Definitely on his end at least.” He moved the sandwich around in his hands, trying to locate the best part to bite as he had finally swallowed the last one, “I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen him give you the look.”

Your eyebrows furrowed within seconds, “The... The what now?” You tried to turn in his direction for confirmation, but he seemed a bit too busy to notice your movement.

Due to a junction being up ahead, your foot had moved onto the foot break, watching the lights fully change the closer you drew.

“The look.” Jesse finally repeated, his mouth full all over again in a way that needed real concentration to understand the words coming out of it, “Yeah, he gives you the look, like, all the time.”

Soon, the car in front of you had fully stopped, and then so did yours as you put it into first gear, keeping your feet on the first two pedals.

The moment the car had stopped moving, you turned to Jesse within seconds, eyebrows furrowed more than they had ever been. “What is the look?”

Pinkman gave you a simple glance at first, thinking that you were just messing around as he kept munching away... But no matter how much time went by, you didn't move. Still watching him.

His chewing slowed when his head turned back in your direction. He just blinked for a moment. “You don’t know... You don’t know what the look is?”

Your chin lowered, your eyelids slightly doing the same, “Does it sound like I know what it is?”

“Okay, but... how?” Despite Jesse’s previous complete interest in his sandwich, it lowered with his hands to his lap. There was utter confusion written all over his face while he remained smacking away. “How do you not-- How old are you?”

Your attention went to the road ahead all over again, the back of your head sinking into the headrest as a huff left your lips, “Older than you.” you pointed out, trying to sound more authoritative, but that just seemed to spark an already lit flame. 

“Then how do you not see it, huh? I mean, even I can tell that it’s pretty obvious-- And not just because of the look either,” Jesse fully twisted in his seat so that he faced you, “He like... He wants to actually, like, talk to you, and shit-- I’ve seen him smile-- genuinely smile at you, okay?"

“Now, if he was doing it to me? I would... Man, I would be terrified-- But it’s you, it’s... different.” You were trying so hard not to shake your head again, but Jesse’s voice practically being right in your right ear was making it a lot more difficult. “It’s something else--”

“It’s not...” You regripped the steering wheel, “You do realise we’re talking Gustavo Fring, right?” Your head attempted to turn back to Jesse, though your eyes were trying to keep the attention on the road as one of the final vehicles seemed to cross through the junction. 

“Exactly!” Jesse practically threw his arms up, almost losing his grasp on the sandwich in the process, “You should be caring about this more than you do.”

Your head shook as your gaze fully went back to the road, your foot readying to release the clutch while your fingers tapped against the steering wheel in anticipation. 

You were trying to find something to zone in on, something to distract yourself from the kid sitting in your passenger seat as he was still eagerly trying to get you to see the things the way he did. But you weren’t giving it to him. 

“Fine then.” Jesse reached behind him, grabbing the top half of the seatbelt, pulling it until it was in front of him again, before he ducked himself beneath. 

“But I’m telling you, Y/n.” It was back, slinging diagonally across his torso by the time he was seated properly, and also by the time the lights had finally turned green.

“You’ll see.”

~

There was something about this day that was starting to feel a little familiar. 

You and Jesse had arrived ages ago. You had gone down the windy red stairs, did the whole thing of taking off unnecessary clothing so that you wouldn’t completely boil in the obnoxiously yellow protective suit you would put on next. 

And at first, once you were all geared up, the two of you stood in front of the machines. Your heads were raised, eyes cast up to the walkway above as you awaited the arrival of your usual partner at their usual time...

But the door never opened. 

There was no proper estimate for how long the two of you just stayed waiting as you had set your watch to the side, and the clock was on the other side of the room, however, there was one thing you knew for sure. Someone was late. 

Eventually, the two of you were trying to compensate, finding something useful to do while giving the benefit of the doubt that maybe it was just tough traffic or something going on that made them lose track of time.

Though, the ability to sympathise got smaller and smaller the more minutes began to turn into full on hours. 

You found yourself at your usual table with your hand supporting the weight of your head, attempting to occupy your mind by looking over the paperwork from passed cooks. A habit that you only recently developed. 

“Dude,” you heard somewhere to your side before there was an exasperated sigh, and a quick creaking of a chair, “What the hell is taking him so long?”

Earlier, Jesse had taken one of the other wheeled chairs from the table connected to yours and had rolled somewhere, enough so that you could only see him from the corner of your eye.

His body was slumped back, the seat beneath him creaking with every move that he made. And considering that he didn’t have anything to do, that was like every. Single. Second. 

He had tried out the difference created when he would shift his weight, tested what it would feel like to have his legs hanging over the left side of the chair and then the right, he had pushed his feet onto the floor to roll himself backwards and forwards against the smooth tiles.

And now, as apparently none of that had seemed to have settle his mind, Jesse had resorted to zipping and unzipping the protective suit he was so ready to take off by now. Over, and over... And over again. “Okay,”

“That’s it.”

The pencil held in your gasp was cast to the side of the notepad, you were barely looking at this point, before your hands moved to the edge of the table so that you could push against it enough that your chair started to roll.

You stood up, winding round the seat that was still on the move as you began to walk towards one of the pathways between the machines. Jesse fully planted his feet on the ground, “Yo, Y/n, where are you going?” 

Your fingers grasped onto the zip of your suit and you yanked it down as far as you could without having to bend for the rest, beginning to pulling your arms out one after the other moments after. 

You moved round that damn settling tank and soon ended up at the wall where you would keep or hang up your loose items. “I...” you began, your voice becoming strained as you bent down to free your feet of those big welly boots, “am going to find out what the hell is going on.”

The squeak of a chair echoed somewhere to the back of the room. “Well, don’t-- Don’t leave me in here by myself.” 

Finally, after one last tussle, your, once worn, protective suit was now sprawled on the ground beside the clothing rack. You moved to your usual shoes, putting either feet in their respective ware before tying the laces to make sure they wouldn’t fall off. 

Before Jesse could even appear by your side to complete the same process, you were on the move once again, directing towards those windy red stairs that always made you feel like you were going to fall up and/or down them. 

“Y/n, wait, dude, wait-- Just give me a minute.” You could hear the hurried rustling of plastic suit echoing through the steps you took on the metal staircase. 

Eventually, when your movements had allowed you to arrive at the cat walk, you found yourself complying to Jesse’s words... While the man himself was still trying, and failing, to get the suit off. 

It gave you a moment to catch a breath you hadn’t been able to take all day. You were stood high, looking down at the problems below, and not drowning neck deep in it like you usually did. 

A deep breath sucked into your nostrils as you let your eyes fall closed, the air of the lab starting to cool the warmth that had festered across your skin--

A sharp whistle squealed through from your left before it bounced around each wall one after the other. 

Your eyes had snapped open as soon as the sound appeared, but it wasn’t until your head had started to turn that your brain realised what it had come from. 

It was the door.

Your body twisted in the direction of the man who was almost stumbling across the cat walk, a series of huffs and puffs spluttering from his mouth that would have you worrying any other day. 

But as of now, all you did was cross your arms over your chest.

“Yo, Mr. White! What the hell took you so long, dude?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he began through a slight wheeze that ended with him doing this horrendous cough. And once he was about three steps in front of you, he stilled his apparently over exhausted body, using a hand to shift his weight onto the railing, “There was... car trouble, and stuff with the kids, you-- you know kids.”

“You would think, maybe, after the first one that it was going to get easier and then...”

In the midst of Mr. White stabilising himself, his head had turned to the right in at attempt to locate Jesse, which wasn’t hard to do considering the fact that he was still taking off that damn suit, to further emphasis his... guilt?

But instead, after he did a sort of double take, he began to slowly face you once again, “Why aren’t any of the machines on, why... Why aren’t you wearing your suit?”

“We were waiting for you. I was just about to try and find at least someone to tell us where you were.”

“Wait... Wait a minute,” Mr. White started, holding his hands up while he took a step closer. “You didn’t start?” His chin slightly lowered in a way that made his eyes peer at you over his glasses. 

“No?” you stated simply, your eyebrows furrowing at the sudden change to his demeanour, “After last time... We didn’t think you wanted us to do it by ourselves.”

“But that was-- That was last time, Y/n.” With every word that the man spoke, his hands rose higher and higher until they were inches away from touching his face, “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?”

The urge to scoff was stronger than ever, and you had to hold it back more than you ever had in your life, “I think I should be asking you that question.”

The man before you began shaking his head in a way that was almost not visible. “I told you... I was having problems with my car.” For a moment his expression remained the way it was, a visible attempt at holding back what you were guessing was anger. 

But then it failed. 

“I have... a family to take care of...” His hands dropped to his sides. When he next spoke the corners of his mouth slightly downturned like there was utter distaste for the words coming out of his mouth, “They are not going to be put at expense because, again, you weren’t able to do a simple job.”

Regardless of how loud it usually was when someone walked up the windy stairs, right now, as Jesse began to do just that, it was barely audible to your ears. The sound fading more and more the longer you stared at the man before you. “Guys, can we just--”

“I am doing my job just fine, Mr. White.” you started up with this lack of emotion to your voice, trying to make it as clear as possible that you wanted to get this over and done with, “We just didn’t want to do another batch all by ourselves, simply, because you couldn’t be bothered to show up.” Though it seemed your mouth had other plans. 

There was something that almost satisfactory when you saw a side of his face twitch. But soon, it was one that ended with this sort of smile curling at his lips, his eyebrows raising more than you had ever seen in your time working with him. “Oh.”

“So, you want me to apologise for making a singular mistake? Is that it?” He took yet another step towards you, “You know what, how about we count how many times you have made-- No, caused, a mistake, hmm?”

You couldn’t count the amount of voices that were telling you to take a step back, to move away the closer he got to stand directly in front of you, “But that wasn’t only my fault-- There’s a big difference between actually trying and just not showing up.” 

Your feet remained planted on the ground beneath. Your arms were held tighter than ever across your torso as you tried to maintain the blankest expression possible.  

“Dude, both of you just... just chill out, please.” Jesse tried to insist as he walked up the last few steps, but no one paid any attention to his words, “We can-- We can work this out--”

“You allowed a contamination,” Mr. White began, narrowing his eyes as if in disbelief, “How did you-- Did they not teach you to read, or listen, to instructions in school?”

“My education has nothing to do with this.” you insisted without missing a beat. And regardless of your attempts to keep your composure, it was inevitable that something began slipping into your voice.

You had been up early.

You had been running back and forth to make sure that certain things were sorted for certain people, had to drive all the way to downtown to pick up Jesse and then all the way back up to get here. To work.  

And then, while at work, you weren’t even able do your damn job because your other partner, that was supposed to be there at a specific time by contract, just didn’t show up. 

Which then lead you and Jesse to have to stand and do absolute jack shit for hours on end. 

Walter just shook his head again, even raising his hands like he was about to shove you or something, though he might have wanted to simply point a finger, “Well, apparently it does, because if you still aren’t competent enough to follow something so basic, then--”

“What is going on here?”

Within the next second, the man in front of you had twisted round in a way that almost gave you whiplash just from watching. He stepped to the side, and moved backwards until he was practically next to you. “Oh, Gus, I, uh... We were just... Slow start.”

But, of course, he was still a little ahead. 

Your feet, however, hadn’t moved an inch. In fact the only move you made was to let your arms finally fall free to your sides as you stared onwards. 

It was Gustavo. He was stood in the doorframe, one hand pressing against the weighted metal so that he had enough time to take in his surroundings. And then he took the final step inside. 

It was only when the door closed behind him that you realised you hadn’t even heard it open in the first place. 

The lab was back to what it had been minutes ago. Silent. No sound at all filtering throughout the entire room. 

Gustavo stilled himself not far from the door he had walked through, but enough so that you could feel his presence as well as see it. His arms were unmoving by his sides, a trait that would’ve carried out through his entire body if he hadn’t started moving his head. 

Like Walter had done when he arrived, Gustavo looked at the room below. He studied it, looked from one section to the other while noting the quietness that was effecting even him. 

And then he turned back to the people across from him, the expression on his face unwavering, “Why is that? There’s nothing in the machines.”

“You know, ex-- exactly.” the man to your side suddenly spoke up, snapping your attention from the other guy you wanted to look at a little longer. “I had... countless problems with a lot of things this morning, and I wasn’t able to arrive on time.”

Walter sort of took a step forward, but instead of what you would naturally think of when someone carried out such a movement, he didn’t properly face Gustavo. 

He stood side on, his body turned towards the machines so he could look at you or his boss with a simple movement of his head. And as of now, you seemed to be his main target. “Apparently they couldn’t be bothered to start the batch themselves.”

“That’s not true.” You mirrored his stance, faced directly towards him, instead of the man who was just trying to seek answers, as your eyebrows furrowed as much as they could. 

Walter tilted his head, “You sure?” he asked, using the most condescending voice that would of set you off had you already lost the grasp on your, slowly dissipating, self control. 

“Yes, I don’t understand--” Your hand rose to your face, fingers pressing into the skin beneath before dragging down to your chin. And then they dropped. You took in a deep breath. “Look... I admit it, sure, we could have started the cook. But.”

“Me and Jesse both thought it was smarter to wait after the previous mistake,” you began, emphasising your point by gesturing to the dude who was now stood behind, and his eyes sort of widened at the sudden attention. 

This time it was you who took the step forward. “But yet again,” You made sure to hold yourself back from blinking as you stared right at the man who was trying so hard not to cut you off, your fists clenched at your sides. “You. Weren’t. Here.”

Your heart was thudding in your ears, a sound louder than any other thing in the room. The exhaustion was rampant through your body, continuously attacking system, and at this point testing your patience that had already become thin. 

The ability to control anything was about one minute away from collapsing. 

“Why were you late, Mr. White?”

When Gustavo’s voice caught your ears, you hadn’t even bothered to look his way despite the fact that Walter did. In fact, he took the chance to move away from you, which almost made him bump into the other railing. 

“Car troubles, and, uh... family stuff, too, you know... all that.” he informed, his voice and the look of his face switching into one that you could instantly tell was the fakest attempt of trying to get sympathy. 

“And you didn’t inform anyone of these... troubles?”

Your head turned in about a second, your gaze snapping to the man who hadn’t moved a singular inch since the last time you properly saw him. His attention was only on Walter, his eyes now slightly narrowed. 

“What...” Mr. White started, the shock clear within his voice and the expression on his face, “Are you... Are you trying to say that this is my fault?”

“I am not saying anything, Mr. White.” Gustavo’s turned in the mans direction with such slowness that had a look of regret taking over anything else that was threatening to appear on Walters face. And once he stilled, he had even slightly tilted it to the side, “I am simply asking questions to understand why a job hasn’t been completed.”

Walter let out this sort of scoff of a sound as he gestured with his hands like before, “Well, then your asking the wrong person, Gus.” 

He pointed towards you, this time not even bothering to look unless it was to make sure his finger was actually aimed in your direction, “They... They have been here for who knows how long, I... I-- I mean, the batch could’ve finished by now, if they just--”

“You are putting the blame... on them?” Gustavo’s voice was low, deep in pitch that it was almost gravelly and harsh to any ears that heard it. There was no direct tone, or emotion clear within it. But paired with the slow step forward, anyone could tell that it wasn’t good. 

“You are putting the blame on a person who was actively trying to solve a problem that you created... because you weren’t competent enough to make a phone call?”

You were use to his intimidation tactics. In all honesty, usually, it seemed even more affective when he wasn’t using them, like when he wore that smile that never really reached his eyes. 

But this...

This was different. 

When Gustavo wanted to intimidate someone, or remind them of their place in the bigger picture. He had relationships to maintain, an act to keep up so that nothing could expose him and/or his business, so he never risked insulting a person in case it would backfire, create unnecessary problems.

Gustavo Fring wasn’t a man who directly insulted someone unless he was going to gain something from it... Well, apparently, until now. 

For the next few seconds it seemed that Mr. White couldn’t find the exact reaction he had. His lips twitched almost every way that they could, his mouth would open and close again and again like he was mimicking a fish, all the while his head began to shake once again, “I don’t... I don’t know what to say-- I can’t... Gus, I just--”

“I have heard all I needed.” There were no movements that accompanied his words. No change to his voice a part from a mild show of a tested patience. Gustavo just stared at the man before him, unblinking, “You still have plenty time to cook.”

“You can’t be serious--”

“That’s what you came here to do... Is it not?” Gustavo pointed out simply, his head tilting to the side in a way that almost made him look like a puppy. But his face said all that it needed to. 

Walter sort of cowered, avoiding the mans gaze as he took a moment to think, “I... I-- Well... Yes, but--”

In about a second, though there was almost nothing displayed on Gustavo’s face, everything sort of... dropped? His eyelids lowered in a way that wasn’t enough to hide his eyes but it was still visible, his jaw unclenched, his lips almost looked like they were turning down the way. 

But again. Not once did he blink. 

“Then cook.”

For a solid ten seconds, there was just utter silence. Someone could have drop a pin on the other side of the room, and it would still echo like any other sound. No one moved. No one twitched. No one spoke.

Walter took in a deep breath, his shoulders deflating when it made its way back out. And then he turned, beginning to do just as Gustavo said this time without any argument.

But the moment you started to do to the same thing--

“Not you.”

You froze. Your body hadn’t even managed to twist yet, so after sending a look to Jesse who sent one right back, you simply rocked back on your feet, resuming the same position you were in before. 

His eyes were only on yours. The first time he had fully looked at you since he had entered the room. 

“We have... other matters to discuss.”

~

After you left the room, it was practically silent when you began to walk.

There was the usual sounds that occurred from the machines within the laundromat, and the workers who you were still not sure knew about the giant meth lab beneath there feet, but between you and Gustavo there was nothing. 

No exchange of words and barely even the sound of your own footsteps. 

He was a few steps ahead of you, which may have been one of the main reasons, as he lead you across the paths that had big machines towering over you on each side. 

There would be a few moments were you had to duck, or even completely manoeuvre, around certain objects that were hung, either needing to dry or they were connected to a moving system that would bring clothes from one section to another.  

You had no idea where you were going. The second the two of you had officially exited the lab, his lips had became sealed. He just started walking, and of course, you only had one response to that. 

Your gaze pretty much remained on Gustavo’s back no matter how far you went, only fleeting to make sure that you weren’t going to bump into anything, as you followed the man in front of you like a lost duckling... Though, you felt more like a child getting ready to be told off. 

Eventually, after stopping yourself from getting caught up in the thoughts swirling through your mind, you found yourself walking out of the big vertical door. The entrance of the laundromat. 

If your heart wasn’t pounding before it sure was now. And no matter how badly you wanted to just focus on the feeling of fresh air after being stuck in an underground room for what felt like, and probably was, about five hours... Gustavo stopped walking. 

He was stood at the edge of the paved platform, hands moving to clasp behind his back as he resumed that usual straight posture. 

Your steps grew slower the more close you got to standing by his side. You wanted to gage his mood, predict what was about to happen or what he was going to say, which was a bit difficult considering that you could only see the back of his head. 

You cleared your throat when you had arrived to the right of him. Your eyes were slightly narrowed, adjusting to the sudden presence of the sun, while you gently leaned back and forth on your feet. 

“Sir, I... I’m really sorry about this... Again,” you had begun, but almost immediately your speech planned in your head seemed to have fallen apart. 

You turned your head to the side, trying to properly convey your apology through your face more than your words. “I know it doesn’t help the business, but I really, really, don’t know why this keeps happening--”

“Y/n.” 

You had already been looking at Gustavo throughout your words. And maybe it was because you were too caught up in your mind, or because originally the man before you had been gazing into the distance with the usual expression that barely gave you anything to work with. 

But now he was looking right back at you. 

“Yes?” you answered subconsciously in a way that had your mouth snapping shut immediately after realising that you didn’t need to actually do that. 

This time, Gustavo’s chin lowered, “I’m not going to scold you, Y/n.” His gaze was the most gentle you had ever seen it, along with sound of his voice. He may have said the words simply, and matter of factly, but his face told you otherwise. 

You sort of just stood there for a moment, blinking at him. “You... You’re...” And then your eyebrows furrowed all over again, your body turning so that you faced him directly, “You’re not?”

Gustavo kept looking at you, and finally, since thatsituation with Mr. White, you weren’t presented with an expression of judgement. It wasn’t a look that visibly told that they thought whatever they were seeing was utter stupidity. 

He took in a breath, letting his eyes fall back on the busy town ahead for a split second, before they were back on your own, “I want you to go home.” 

His voice was lighter, the expression on his face no longer holding the tension that had clung to his skin. 

Your lips parted, even if no sound initially came out. You stared back at him for a moment, your eyes a little wider than they were before, almost unblinking, “Did I mess up that badly?”

Gustavo’s eyebrows furrowed so quickly that you hadn’t caught onto it until he turned his body in your direction, “Forgive my phrasing.” he started, his hands remaining behind his back no matter the change of position, “This is not a punishment.” 

With his next words, Gustavo made sure that you were looking at him, right into his eyes, just in case his meaning was conveyed through his voice, “You are not in trouble for the wrongdoings of another man.”

... Were you missing something? Why would Gustavo take you out of the lab? 

I mean, sure, you made the deduction that not starting the batch might’ve not been such a great idea, and honestly at some point expected to get a good talking too because of it. Maybe it would be the final straw... 

But here you were. Theman himself, the big boss, stood right in front of you. Directly telling you that you’re not in trouble.

“Then... I’m going to have to say that I don’t understand, Sir.” The muscles beneath your brows were getting a good work out from consistently changing between being normal and then furrowed within, practically, every thirty seconds, “We still have a batch to do, a deadline to follow.”

Influenced yet again by a man stood before you, “And who is that for?” 

Your whole body felt like it wanted to deflate, fall limp and just collapse on the ground. This time it wasn’t in anger, or fear, or annoyance. It was because after everything, you could exhale the nerves that had clung to your insides. There was no use for them now. 

You lightly nodded your head, the fact of not being in trouble officially processing in a way that had your gaze lowering, “... You.”

Gustavo wanted to smile. He wanted to display his pride of finally cracking the code that was your mind, having created even a bit of equal understanding, but he could still see the ghost of the previous expression that held your face hostage. The genuine concern over possible harming his business.

And him. 

“I am not asking you to leave because I think that you are bad at your job, or that you don’t do anything for this business-- Because that would be entirely wrong.” he started up with this new voice that was difficult to ignore, “I am simply saying that you have the day off.”

“It is... normal in a workplace, is it not?”

By the time your eyes met Gustavo’s, your brows had furrowed once again, though now, it was for a very different reason, “I mean... Yes-- But not in this business, just...” 

There was a huff of air that passed through your lips. Theexhaustion from earlier was presenting itself back into your system, making the want to talk become a lot less than before, “Let me-- Let me go back in there, we can work, we can... we can get it done.”

Gustavo’s head began shaking before you had even finished your sentence, “I can’t do that.”

“And why not?” you questioned, leaning back slightly so that you could fully take in his demeaner, analyse any look that took over his face, “I thought you said that I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“You didn’t.” he insisted almost immediately, the expression he wore going blank the way it usually did. But now wasn’t the time. “Then...” You took in yet another breath to cut off your words, trying to suppress the urges to sigh, scoff, or the sudden want to raise your voice, “Why?”

To say this day felt long was truly an understatement. Things just kept happening one after the other and still you were left in the dark. No answer as to why things progressed into the situations they had. 

“Y/n, I am not... risking the loss of more time to arguing.” It was like you could visibly see the words he chose to say. The pure caution, decisions careful enough so that he wouldn’t set off the things he could see getting ready in your eyes, “I know that if you go back in there, Mr. White will not... let go. Not unless I place someone in there to stand and watch at all times.”

“All I am telling you is that you are free to go while I... sort things out.” Gustavo somehow made himself stand taller, trying to prove the confidence in which was already heard in his voice and to also prepare for the possibility of you finally reacting in the way that your body had wanted to for hours. 

But despite what he had envisioned playing out, or tried to predict, it was pretty much the opposite. In fact, the only proper reaction to his words was your shoulders deflating, ridding your muscles of its constant worry. 

And then you crossed your arms over your chest, sniffing as you did so, “And what about Jesse... Mr. White? What-- What about them?” you questioned, waiting for the words to settle before you looked back into those other pair of eyes, only to find that the look from earlier had repossessed his face, “It may not seem like it, but I assure you, Y/n.”

“Mr. Pinkman and Mr. White can handle it themselves.”

For the first time throughout the entire day, you felt the want to smile. “Okay then.” You nodded your head once, your grip tightening on your arms as you took a step backwards, “Thank you, uh... Mr. Fring. It seems you have saved me again.”

“Gus. Call me Gus, and please, there is no need to thank me.” Gustavo started up before you could even try to turn in the direction of your car, “It comes under being an employee.”

Your body stilled after about one more steps backwards, your eyes narrowing at the man before you, playfully, “Then how come I haven’t heard you getting protective when someone else makes a mistake?”

Gustavo mirrored the look on your face, “I wasn’t... I wasn’t being... protective?” In his case, however, he wasn’t doing it in a teasing sort of manner, he was just genuinely confused at the comment. “I simply understood the situation and acted accordingly.”

Your arms loosened in your hold until they lowered to your sides once again, “And yet you defended me.” If you were close enough to Gustavo you would probably have started circling him, “Even though I was in the wrong... both times.”

Gustavo unfurrowed his brows, “You weren’t in the wrong just because some man has an incorrect idea of authority… and a very poor concept of time.” His tone was the flattest you had ever heard it. There was no emotion behind it until the words of... slight insult. 

The urge to smile grew stronger that had you pressing your lips together to stop yourself from letting out a laugh. “Still,” Though, after a moment, you managed to compose yourself, “If you hadn’t arrived when you did...”

Gustavo huffed air through his nose, bowing his head a tad before he let it shake a few times. When he looked back up it was clear that he was trying to hold back whatever was wanting to take over his face, but you could see it in his eyes. 

“Go home.”

There was this feeling of giddiness begging to erupt in your chest. It spread a warmth to every part of your body until it was a collective feeling. It caught you of guard, causing the smile you were trying to hide begin to curl at your lips.

So, after a sharp breath and a nod as a thanks, you sort of ducked away, twisting yourself around so that you could make your way towards your car. 

However, the nearer that you got to the vehicle, it seemed there was a thought pushing itself further and further to the centre of your mind. It may have been more of a feeling, as you weren’t entirely sure that you wanted to go back to your house.

I mean, sure, being able to take a nice long shower, grab a bite to eat, and completely flop on your bed sounded... Well, pretty nice actually. 

But the next session for a batch was now going to be days away. 

Days from your work and a certain Fring. 

You had completely stilled about a step away from your car. There was a quiet breath that huffed through your nose, one that only you could hear, “You know what, actually.”and then you turned on your heel, the concrete practically scuffing under your shoe. “I’ve worked for you for quite some time now, and yet…”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been inside your restaurant.”

The man your eyes managed to focus on seemed to be closer than he was the last time you saw him. A fact that made your brain almost completely miss the words that came out of his mouth. “Well, it’s not an obligation.” 

There was something about the look on his face. Something about the way he pressed his lips together immediately after he finished speaking. He may have assured that the visit wasn’t needed, but... there might have still been a want. 

“What hours is it open?” you asked, the sound of your voice almost echoing through the parking area, even if the noises from the active laundromat were louder. 

Gustavo’s head slightly rose after a moment, one of his brows slightly twitching as he processed your question. And then he cleared his throat, “That would depend on the day.” he informed, readjusting the hands he still held behind his back. 

You hummed in response, letting your gaze fall into the distance as you thought.

Honestly, after the past few hours you could barely remember what part of the week you were in right now. So, instead, you thought back to what a usual week would look like. 

What was the day that was perfectly set between the times you would possibly be able to see Gustavo at work? Right in the middle?

“How about Thursday?” you suggested, now watching as Gustavo began to make his way across the concrete, slightly nodding his head, “Then... Seven to ten, I believe.” 

“All right,” you breathed out, the speed in which your heart beat increased the more the man approached. “One less lunch to plan for the week.” You practically gulped as you reached backwards, fingers patting against the cool metal of the vehicle for a moment until they located the handle. 

Gustavo stilled himself about three steps in front of you, the look on his face signalling that he was thinking about something as he wasn’t making direct eye contact, “Actually... I would suggest to come around dinner time.” 

Just as you were about to tug on the handle, your hand froze, along with pretty much every other part of your body. 

The man was now looking right at you, his voice sort of timid in a way that caught you even more off guard. And apparently himself too. “It’s... more quiet.” He cleared his throat, “Less people around.”

Your arm slowly moved back to your side, releasing the warm handle from any sort of grasp. 

There was a fight going on in your chest. A want to give into the urge of running away like you would’ve done in a situation close to this as a kid. But you weren’t a child anymore, far from it. 

It took a good moment for any sound to be able to roll off of your tongue. And as soon as something eventually had, it was like your lungs remembered how to properly function. “Will you be there?” 

You felt younger. The two of you may have been stood pretty much right in front of the other, yet neither of you could maintain eye contact longer than a few seconds before you collectively had to look away, no matter how confident either one of you tried to seem.

Gustavo cleared his throat, though it sounded like it had barely done anything. “I believe so.” he finally confirmed, and regardless of the fact that his voice was still quiet, there was this tone that took over his words. 

“Well, good...” That giddy feeling returned, even if it had probably never left. “I think I probably would still go if you weren’t there, but... it would be a lot less... fun.”

The man before you let the slightest smile curl at a side of his mouth, “Well, we wouldn’t want that now would we?” He sounded more breathy this time, a natural progression from his already quiet voice. But it wasn’t because of nerves, or a reaction of his lungs, which you had initially thought. It was intentional.  

“Not at all.” Your voice in question was more full than his, however, there was this slight whisper to it, as if Gustavo should be the only person allowed to hear it. 

“Then it’s settled,” he began, slightly lowering his head in away that had your back pressing into your car. His normal tone had seeped back through his words like he was back in boss mode. But not quite Gustavo Fring just yet. “How does... eight o’clock sound? Unless you eat earlier?”

Your head shook practically without a second of hesitance. The ability to move your lips was barely thereso you resorted to moving to the side, finally pulling on the handle of your car door until it swung out far enough that you could stand behind it. 

You could see Gustavo raise his eyebrows just the slightest as the door had created a sort of separation, and it had you biting back a grin. “It’s perfect.” you insisted, trying to sound as neutral as possible despite the, possibly, clear ways you felt at that moment. 

And then you lowered yourself into the car, having to slightly shifted backwards a little bit to properly get into the drivers seat before you swung your legs inside.  

Your hand grasped the inside of your door, your fingers making certain that they had a good grip, before your eyes landed on the figure through the glass of the window that hadn’t moved an inch.

And then you smiled. 

“Gus.”

[gilmore-angel]

Teardrops On My Guitar | Ellie W. x reader

swiftmas ♱ this is the first day of swiftmas!!! I'm so excited and hope you are too! you can find this fic plus the other day on the link below!

summary ♱ your best friend ellie can't seem to understand that she's tearing your poor heart apart.

warnings/contains ♱ angst, no happy ending (sorry lol), NO Dina hate on this blog🙏, but reader is jealous, ellie is oblivious, RUSHED!!!

swiftmas ♱ navigation ♱ my library account is @baysfics, then on notifications to see when I post a fic!

the small chilly room was filled with smoke, guitar sounds and giggles. you sat next to ellie on her twin bed as she softly strummed her guitar. the sun had set a while ago, not that you or ellie were paying any attention. it had become common for you two to stay up until morning playing around with your guitars and eating food you'd managed to sneak. you two had done so since you first met, back when you were both just fifteen. in more recent years, a certain special plant had joined the mix.

"okay wait so... what cord was that again?" you asked, staring at her veiny hands. she continued to stare up at the ceiling, not at all hearing or paying attention to you.

you giggle softly, "earth to williams..." you wave your hand in front of her face, finally bringing her out of her trance. she blinks a few times, turning her head to look into your eyes. "huh? yea, what is it?" she speaks quietly in her normal raspy voice.

"did you even hear what I said, els?" you raise a brow, smiling softly. this wasn't the first time tonight she seemed to be completely ignoring you.

she sighs, chuckling at herself, "sorry, I'm just..." she suddenly pauses, questioning if she should say what she wants to. "you know dina, right?"

you nod, urging her to continue. she let's out a shaky breath, "do you think- I mean... what do you think of her? like... as a person?" ellie seemed almost nervous, which she never was around you.

you furrow your brows, confused as to why she would ask. you knew dina, sure, but barely. she seems like a nice girl, and is definitely beautiful. you shrug, "I mean, she seems cool I guess. I don't really talk to her. why do you ask?"

ellies pale cheeks grow red as she shrugs and rubs the back of her neck. "just you know, wondering," she glances back at you for a second, "do you think... you know, maybe me and her seem like we'd make a good, you know... match?"

your breath hitches at her words. a good match? why would she care about that?

you shrug, suddenly feeling awkward. "uh, I mean, I've never really thought about it before but I-I guess."

she chuckles, but there's no humor. "I don't know... I mean, I hope we would. there's something about her..."

breathing started to feel more difficult and you felt a sting in your eyes. you sit up, forcing a small smile. "I um... I should probably head home, it's getting pretty late."

she furrows her brows, confused as to why you're leaving so early. "oh, uh yea okay, do you want me to walk you home?"

you shake your head no, standing up and pulling on the big winter coat you had burrowed from joel. before anything else can be said you walk out, into the cold and icy outside.

what's so special about dina? sure, she's pretty and friendly, and smart and hardworking but aren't you too? you shake your head at your own thoughts. ellie is your best friend, nothing more or less. who cares who she's into?

you, apparently.

the rest of the walk home is filled with confusing thoughts and snow falling gently onto you.

———

the old barn was filled with the sound of music and laughter. maria had been successful in bringing some holiday fun to jackson yet again with another christmas party.

you stand in one of the corners, keeping an eye on the entrance. ellie had promised she'd come to the party and drag joel along with her. you sip on some water, waiting until later in the night to drive into some beer.

you glance at the open barn doors for the hundredth time and finally see ellie- and dina?

ellie walks in wearing her normal jeans and one of joels sweaters. around her arm is dina, looking perfect as always. dina smiles at everyone and greets her friends. ellie stands at her side, looking around the room. her eyes meet yours and she smiles softly, but makes no attempt at coming closer to you.

you force a fake smile, nodding your head at her. you can feel your heart break a little more each second. the urge to leave is overwhelming, and you give in. you quietly and discreetly grab your coat and make your way through the large group of people to the doors. you manage to slip out without anyone noticing, which you cant decide is good or bad.

you can hardly see the snowy path through the thick tears in your eyes. it's clear ellie and dina have something going on. all you can hope is that dina treats her right and knows how lucky she is.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Good Boy...Elijah

Elijah Kamski x wife!reader

warning : +18, smut, oral fem, collar, fake dogs ears (is that a thing?), ,,tighter’ outfits for elijah, praise kink

Summary : After a phone call from Elijah and a meeting place that wasn't the shared property outside of town, the pink neon lights shine down on her as she makes a special discovery at the Eden Club…a new anrdoid model comming from personal experience.

Info : I got the motivational bust of the century after this wonderful POST from @thatsthewrongwallcraig and puppyboy Elijah is now a thing ;) Have fun reading

cover from me (proud of this one ngl)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Detroid, a city of millions full of human and machine inhabitants. A major city in Michigan, a city that became world famous after Elijah Kamski, the inventor of androids, the next life of evolution, the father or god.

He was a man who was initially seen as a nerd with long hair, a thick beard and square glasses, but this was several years ago and he was rarely seen at global events or at the annual Cyberlife Expo when new models and gadgets were presented...and until now he had always caused a surprise at the convention.

But the call on her mobile phone just as she was about to put the coffee to her lips was just such a surprise. Turning her attention from the projections showing her new romance novel, a pleased expression came to her lips.

,,What's new Nerdy?’ she asked, smirking at the nickname she had given him and even if he didn't admit it, his suppressed grin said a lot. ,,I'll send you an address, I've got the new android ready...and please hurry darling it's a bit awkward“ she heard his reply quieter not normally loud and in the background she could hear music but it was too quiet for the radio or an open place like a concert.

Above all, Elijah was not a person who appreciated publicity, so where was he? Just as she was about to ask if he was in the Cyberlife headquarters, he hung up and she saw his location pop up a few seconds later.

Why are you in the city? And then in the district? she asked herself, packing up her things before heading out the door to the dark car a few minutes later. Transferring the instructions and location to the car, it drove off on its own while she wrote him a few more messages, which he didn't even read.

The drive from her studio didn't lead to their shared house, neither to the main quarter, nor to the rich neighbourhood where he occasionally hosted small events...instead it led to her surprise.

It was a surprise to arrive in the late afternoon in front of the open Eden Club, whose bright pink colours barely stood out during the day. Leaving the car parked, she got out a few moments later and made her way across the street towards the establishment.

She knew the club everyone knew the club a discreet place for a lot and a little money a place for an android or the whole place everything was just for the short stay. You brought out models like this several years ago, why a new one? she asked herself, not quite knowing why he had built and developed a new sex android.

The models three years ago with improved extras and even better memory loss were more than good, so what could he have now? Going in through the sliding door past the Andorids in the glass tube-like boxes.

She knew the models she had designed with Elijah, nice looking and someone you'd enjoy spending the night with...or just a few hours with before you had to return to the unpleasant reality.

Ignoring the speakers and dancing androids, she looked around her, vaguely remembering the opening of the club as she stood next to her husband, a smile and champagne as they cut the ribbon and the pinkish colours of the club came on...that night was one she felt the next day and so did he.

,,Miss. Kamski how nice that you are here ehm your husband is in room sixty-nine he has something for you’ she heard a voice she had heard before the owner a sleazy man who knew something about marketing the brothel. ,,Thank you the new android model will be good for you too thank you“ she said faster than necessary and moved towards the room seeing in the reflection of the glass that the man retreated to his office-it was better that way she only liked him to a limited extent.

Looking around one last time, the door opened as she put her hand on it and Elijah granted her access as well. Stepping inside, a bluish pink light seemed to transform the room almost like water. She recognised the music but was surprised to see only a switched-off android model standing in front of the small table that was the least illuminated by the light, on which, as far as she could tell, were two glasses of champagne.

,,Elijah? Are you there?" she asked just loud enough to be heard in the room, which was the most expensive and had a small extra area as far as she could remember, a room with extra toys and clothes. ,,Darling, would you do me a favour and close your eyes, I'd like to try something,’ she heard his voice and realised he must be in the extra room, his voice slightly muffled by the extra door.

At first she hesitated and almost wanted to laugh the situation was almost obstruse the couple from Detroid in a brothel with androids and she should close her eyes. ,,All right... but don't scare me,’ she warned and closed her eyes, seeing in the dark the dim lights that were still switched on, she heard the door open and muffled footsteps on the carpet floor with the silver ornaments.

She almost flinched when she suddenly felt his hand on hers, ,,Don't look at me darling...so nervous?’ he asked and she could just see the sly smile on his lip in her mind's eye.

She was about to say something when she felt the gentle kiss he gave her, something he only did when he wanted to apologise. ,,Apology accepted,’ she told him and felt the gentle squeeze on her hand as he signalled that all this was probably necessary for his latest creation...or so she thought.

His hand gripping hers felt him move hers and she tried to slowly piece together the image in her head as she felt the latex material under her fingers.

A mock shocked ,,Elijah how inappropriate“ he released her hand and she slid her hand over the fabric feeling it was the latex top that was cut for the male androids covering the chest and leaving room for teasing which she promptly tried out. Moving her fingers slowly upwards over the lower part, she felt his nipples underneath, which she ran over with a light pressure.

She took in his amused grin when he didn't do anything and let her do it, eliciting an excited sigh from him as she was almost kissing over the tight fabric. He let a restrained ,,D-Darling’ escape and let her continue for a moment before he almost shakily took her hand again, ,,Don't want to end all the fun just yet,“ he said and this time pulled her into a more intimate kiss, but she didn't feel his hands on her as if he was voluntarily holding back.

As if he was getting at something specific, but what? Slowly withdrawing from the kiss, she let her hand wander further down Elijah didn't seem to mind either.

She seemed to sense his anticipation, which was emphasised by his half-hardness. ,,It's all because of you," he assured her, exhaling almost shakily in anticipation as she stroked his bulge, holding it out for a moment until suddenly her hand was on something soft.

Wondering, she paused and groped slightly in front of her, noticing the texture of hair and something soft...like fur. She opened her eyes and saw Elijah kneeling in front of her, his black hair covered with a pair of dog ears made of black and white fur.

His upper body was crowned by the tight latex top and the tight pants spoke for themselves. But the thing that brought warmth to her cheeks, apart from the cute-looking ears, was the leather collar around his neck.

,,HR500 activate yourself,“ he said and she saw the android open its eyes and the light flickered from yellow to blue and she now saw the special feature. ,,Dog ears and optionally cat ears in various designs, plus a collar and a few extra things,’ he introduced and made an inviting gesture towards the new android.

Letting her hand wander over Elijah's new ears in praise, she walked towards the human-like technology that was waiting for her orders.

She ran her hands curiously over the dog ears in all grey and almost heard a sigh from the android who seemed to have changed. ,,He has different variations from submissive to dominant depending on your preference and all the new compunents are extra sensitive," Elijah explained as he watched his wife take care of the new android.

She pulled on the collar and the man immediately got down on his knees and looked at her expectantly, his cheeks slightly flushed and impressed by the sexual glamour in the machine's eyes.

,,You've outdone yourself again...and I suppose programmed from personal experience,“ she said with a grin and stroked the android's cheek as he cuddled up to her and seemed to beg for more. In the reflection of the wall, she sensed that her husband also wanted the attention he was getting.

,,Very personal experience, fantasies and your own neediness,’ she added and a smile came to her lips as she pulled away slightly from the android and an idea occurred to her. ,,Undress me honey,“ she ordered and saw Elijah about to stand up, but she stopped him with a wave of her hand.

The android nodded, ,,As you wish miss,“ he replied and little by little the clothes were removed from her body until the skilful fingers opened her bra and she told him to stop.

,,A good boy learns to wait, Elijah,“ she surmised and gave the HR500 a rewarding kiss, which he returned, much to the chagrin of her husband, whose hands held on to the floor to keep from touching himself.

Before she let go of the Andoirdne and disappeared into the small extra room. After searching for the object and giving an ,,Eyes closed darling’, she came back into the room, saw that he had heard her and stood in front of him again.

The click was heard as she attached the matching leather leash to the silver hook on the ring that was on the collar. Giving him a little more of the leash she sat down on the bed and slid a little towards the headboard before pulling on the leash.

Elijah looked at her almost joyfully and crawled onto the bed with her. She saw in his blue eyes how he looked at her, like a sculpture, a painting, an invention, a being he cherished since they were together, he always looked at her as if she was the most precious thing on this planet.

The same sexual lustful glamour that was in the android's eyes was also in the eyes of her husband, who only came crawling towards her when she pulled on the leash. ,,Good boy,“ she praised and stroked his soft furry ears before giving him some leash again and letting him make up for the day in one way or another.

He immediately took advantage of this and began to kiss his way up her legs, leaning back with pleasure as the soft cushions held him gently and invitingly and her hand, which was not on the lead, stroked his head and ears every now and then in praise.

,,I'm going to be a very good boy just for you,’ she heard his muffled comment as he stood just between her thighs, his fingers gently moving her legs slightly apart and his fingers roaming over her clothed centre. Her sigh of pleasure let him know he was doing a good job.

Not teasing her, not stalling, not luring her like he normally would in a normal night together. It was almost funny, a man who had brought about the new evolutionary stage rightly had a bit of a god complex and loved to take what he liked but if you looked closer he was to her her sweet Elijah was a man who wanted attention and love with a collar around his neck and cute soft dog ears on his head.

His kisses were cautious as he felt his way around, knowing what each other liked, but she liked his new way. ,,You're doing well...go on,“ she encouraged him, seeing the flash of pleasure on his face before he put his fingers to her underwear and slowly pulled the fabric from her body, letting it fall to the floor.

A tug on the leash, however, made him almost whimper as she didn't let him touch her yet and demanded another kiss.

A kiss in which she ran her hand over his body, taking advantage of the tight fabric and a gasp went round the room as she pinched his nipples lightly, the fabric only allowing a little movement and she saw his knuckles turn slightly white as he held on to the white bed linen. Moving down to his now hard cock she stroked it harder than before and his hips moved slightly trying to get more of the friction.

After a few moments, however, she pulled back and grasped his chin, ,,You're not a rude street dog, are you?“ she admonished and saw him shake his head hastily and quickly cuddle up to her hand, ,,No-no, I'm a good promise,“ he said and after she sought his gaze one last time, she released him and let him continue.

Leaving the leash on, he kissed his way down her body, nuzzling her breast for a moment before caressing the soft skin of her thighs.

Pushing them slightly apart and finally placing his fingers on her centre, she had rarely seen him so restrained, normally she would feel his hands on her hips and he would give her head until he had what he wanted.

A tantalising image of her hand going to his head and gently pressing down, ,,Don't make me wait any longer, will you?“ she said, and he complied immediately. She was already slightly wet and his tongue ran over her little bundle of nerves without any problems, he took it slowly but just enough so that it wasn't hesitant.

They both knew that he knew exactly how to react but in his new role he was the inexperienced poor boy. ,,Mhh that's good, go on,“ she encouraged him and dropped her head back into the kisser as he began to stroke her clitoris, the bundle of nerves next to him being caressed by his fingers. Before he used his other free hand and she felt him slowly insert first one and then two fingers into her.

It was nothing to compare with his dick, but that wasn't the point here, they both knew that. It was his restraint, his obedience, his taking of power to obey her commands and be her servant.

Something he could only rarely do here as she looked without him, her blue eyes dark from the little light, her lips reddish from the kiss and with a slight almost wet sheen from her wetness, her cheeks an almost dark red, he had never looked more beautiful and pathetic.

She stretched out towards him and got more of him, his movements slowly intensifying and accelerating. The sound of her moans and words of praise mingled with the squeaking wet noises that blended with the soft music and she sucked in her lip to make another excited sound as she thought of them being watched indirectly.

As the andrid still stood there watching her for an order, a sign or a gesture. But she liked it, she liked to be watched, to be desired by Elijah and everyone else, it was addictive.

A fact that not only struck her, but Elijah was also too lost in his rhythm, too attached to her body to give her his best while he took everything like a repentant dog rubbing against the bed. He licked and sucked what he could get his mistress to give him while the words of praise that left her lips seemed to be enough.

The moment dragged on, the climax approached and she felt her body tremble slightly, her back arching slightly. ,,Ah El-Elijah-good good boy,“ she moaned, her eyes closed in pleasure, her lips slightly open and her fingers pulling harder on his hair.

It only took a few more moments before her last loud moan went through the room and her body fell straight into the tangled sheets of the bed.

Releasing the leash slowly and convulsively, she pulled Elijah even closer to her, who lingered between her legs for a moment before pulling back with a satisfied sigh. ,,Thank you, darling, for this praising performance,“ she heard him say and felt his hand on her belly as he lay down next to her.

He gently stroked her body and played with a strand of hair as she slowly turned to him and took off his collar and lead. ,,You've been such a good boy," she praised and pulled him into a brief kiss that made him smile, ,,So the new android model is good,” he realised and smiled, which she did. She pulled the blanket over both their bodies and looked at the collar before throwing it in with her things.

,,The android will be a bestseller for everyone and the toys... aren't we just keeping them my good boy?“ she asked and laid her head on his chest and he stroked her and nodded in agreement.

,,Besides, you seem to have enjoyed the attention from our friend,“ he winked and pointed at the android, whereupon she felt the warmth rising on her cheeks and poked him lightly in the side.

,,You were kneeling in front of me with those ears and the collar and leash,“ she protested and flicked at the fur ears he was holding protectively, but she could still see his red cheeks. Before she felt him wrap his arms around her and hug her close, ,,Well, let's do it again,“ he said before pulling her into another kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[captain-mj]

Hear me out, Soapghost, Brahm's The Boy. Eh?? Eh??

I've been talking about this movie a stupid amount lately so... yeah, I'll eat this up. CW: This is based off a horror movie so it's the normal stuff, violence, stuff like that but also noncon voyeurism (Ghost watches Soap without him knowing but also listens to him) and Soap is just in general a bit of a freak

Made quite a few changes but it's the same premise

His interviewer had been a kind older man named Price. He was only in his 30's and was clearly capable of running the place, but he had been told to hire someone while he took a much needed vacation. Apparently, no one else stayed in the house but Price, which seemed a bit odd as he was clearly someone hired on, not the owner. Price had went through all of his duties and most importantly, he went over the lovely, lovely salary.

Soap had thought this job was just a bit too good to be true. He had to do some basic house sitting things and then he was clear. Also, he had to be nice to this doll.

The thing was... honestly kinda cute. His body was soft cotton over some stuffing and a skull design. Yeah, he wasn't the best of dolls, but he was a doll.

A cute doll. But a doll. nonetheless. His name was Ghost.

Regardless, he followed the rules. He had grown up Scottish and hearing of Brownies and other little folklore creature. Make breakfast. Give Ghost doll a kiss on forehead. Don't question any weird happenings, it's an old house. Make dinner, leave a section for Ghost. And always make sure to leave a cup of tea out at night. One cream, two sugars. Extra strong tea.

It tasted like tea, just rather sweet. Soap didn't like it. He had tried to make himself a cup to have with the mystery thing in the walls, but he ended up stopping and going to bed after a while. Each time, the food and drink was consumed.

Soap had... accepted that something was there with him. He was fairly certain it was a cat or something that could smell the cream. Most of the dishes were fairly meat based or had a lot of broth. It didn't make the most sense, but the alternate was a dog and he'd rather not think about some silent mutt walking around stealing food off the tables. Riley, the only dog on the entire property, was far too well trained for such behaviors. The little dog was odd, often staring at the walls for hours or sometimes disappearing around corners. Soap wasn't a big fan of dogs but he did make exceptions for her.

Things were a little spooky sometimes, but Soap never found himself being frightened. I mean... Ghost was a pretty good protector he always joked with the people that delivered groceries. Plus, whether it be ghost, monster or a dog, it hadn't come close to Soap yet. It occasionally made the floor creak or moved things, but nothing bad or mischievous.

The fact that he got to live in this huge house that sprawled out over acres of land and had it's own lake was excellent too. Every week on Sunday, someone would deliver groceries. It was clear they were being altered slightly, no two exactly the same although meals interlapped all the time, but Soap chalked it up to a delivery system that lets someone schedule different orders.

"Do you know anything about the man that hired you?" The delivery guy always spoke in hushed tones, looking around the home nervously, as if a man would pop up out of nowhere to bring death and ruin, but now, they werespeaking at barely above a decibel, glancing around feverishly.

Soap shrugged. "No. Just know how much I'm paid and what my job entails. Why?"

"Simon Riley was an odd guy, even before the fires. Some people insist he started them. He's an odd fellow. if he hired you, I'd tread lightly." The man looked at him uneasily before glancing at the wall directly behind Soap. His mouth fell into a grimace. "Fucking freak."

Soap felt a weird surge of protectiveness. Yes, he had never met Simon in person, but the entire place felt like a huge memorial to his family. Each room decorated like they'd come back to it and, if this guy was to believed, that meant he had to recreate each detail. He was also a very generous employer and he'd never wronged Soap or anyone that he'd talked to. Soap wanted the man out of the house, feeling a very strong sense of being watched thanks to the entire situation. "Haven't met him. Thank you."

The man looked at him with something strangely similar to pity before nodding. "See you next week, MacTavish." He left Soap alone to put the groceries away.

"Fucking asshole." Soap started to put the groceries away and quickly heard the floor creak. "Ghost?"

Complete silence.

He ignored it and put everything away. After stretching real quick, back popping and limbs burning just a little, he tried to decide what to do. His shoulder injury was acting up so most things were out. Damn thing had already gotten him discharged after only a year in the services, he didn't see the reason for it to keep tormenting him.

Riley seemed to have an idea so he took her on a walk. Most dogs preferred schedules, Soap knew, but according to Price, Riley was an ex military dog and had a mind of her own. Soap thought she was like him and after the military, they just liked experiencing each day as a new thing. Not just a repeat of the old ones.

She stopped at the edge of the property and kept glancing at him before trying to trot a little farther away. Soap whistled and she walked back, clearly displeased that he didn't follow her. Riley barked at him and circled him before tapping her nose against his thigh like she was trying to herd him. He laughed her off and motioned back inside. She followed, though clearly still upset about it.

Soap went and showered, letting the hot water filter over him. Price had assured him that the only cameras were on the outside of the house, but he always felt watched in here. Ghost, his little doll companion, always waited outside. It was silly, not wanting the doll to be able to look at him, but he couldn't help it.

Right now, the feeling wasn't there and Soap took a deep breath before letting his hand slide down. He had no way of knowing that Ghost was right on the other side of the wall, silently holding his breath.

His hand reached down slowly, just barely stroking himself. He bit his lip hard and stroked himself a little more earnestly, getting a tiny gasp that set Ghost's insides on fire.

Soap closed his eyes, going through a few different scenarios. The first thought was of being interrogated, but it felt a bit too harsh. His thoughts drifted to the masked men he had met in the army. The idea of their hands on him.

"Please..." He choked hard, thrusting in hands. "Oh, please." Soap tried for a few minutes, but the edge he needed wasn't there. He shifted his weight, spreading his legs a little so he could reach his hand lower down to press against his hole..

The name popped up in his head. "Ghost." Why he said it out loud was beyond him, but it made the person listening very happy to hear. And very hard.

With shaking hands, Simon undid his belt and tried to make his hand follow Soap's movements based on the grunts and noises he heard. He could turn his head and look through the small crack and watch. Really give himself a show, but he wanted to show some restraint.

Soap managed to get his finger inside and groaned. "Please, Ghost. It feels good."

Ghost's breath sped up and so did his hands. His hips moved of their own accord, jerking up and chasing the pleasure. He could only imagine how Soap would feel. Probably far better than his hand. As long as Soap stayed in his house, he'd take care of him. He got rid of that nasty delivery guy and he'd get rid of anyone else.

Soap was his.

His.

He whimpered and heard Soap stop immediately. Ghost held his breath again as Soap quickly turned off the shower and they both waited to see what would happen.

"John?" Soap called out, listening.

Ghost didn't dare move an inch. This particularly floorboard was creaky and he couldn't risk it.

After a moment, Soap turned the shower back on and quickly finished getting himself cleaned up. He didn't finish though, clearly too freaked out. Ghost scratched at his skin, pissed he had just fucked that up.

Ghost fixed the grocery list again and Soap was happy to get the groceries from the new person the next week.

They were very nice and handed him everything. One of the items was a bottle of lube.

Soap felt himself turn bright red. He had long forgotten about the shower incident, marking everything down as the house settling.

How embarrassing.

However, the lotion was a high quality kind and it looked... Soap had only had lotion and his spit, neither were that great for penetration.

Minutes later, after the stuff that would go bad got put in the fridge, he was using it. He was gagging for it, a little upset his fingers could only go so deep. Soap was rough with himself, liked it that way. His fingers kept going after he felt he'd explode from overstimulation before he finally let himself collapse.

Ghost enjoyed the show and wondered how Soap would feel about dildos. There was no way he'd be able to put that in the order without suspicion, but if ever came out...

No. It was a horrible idea. Despite how nice and inviting Soap looked right now.

Then he came. An ex boyfriend of Soap's. It made Soap stupidly angry just seeing him and when he tried to go in to grab him, he almost clocked him. However, it was clear he was drunk and he wanted to know how he found this address so he bit his tongue and let him in.

"Johnny! Johnny!" He moaned, stepping around and around before finally stumbling into the couch. "You disappeared on me, babe."

Soap took a deep breath to try to calm himself. "I broke up with you, Kent. Remember? I'm not interested anymore." Riley sat nearby, a watchful eye. She did not growl or bark or even announce her presence. She waited.

"Listen, I know I made mistakes. But come on. They were honest."

"Let's talk about this when you're sober in the morning, yeah?" Soap made sure to enunciate, not wanting to hear any snide remarks about his accent from him. "I have things I need to do. Just sleep here." He grabbed Ghost, always careful to hold him with both hands and to his chest. The doll wasn't the largest thing and he was sure he could handle being dropped but... well, it just didn't feel right to do so.

Kent sat up. "What's that thing?"

Soap paused and mulled over his words. "Nothing too important. Just part of taking care of the house. I'll put it away real quick."

"Freak owner wants you to babysit his dolls?"

Soap felt himself bow up, gritting his teeth. Instead, he just bit that back as well. "Don't be so mean to the owner. He seems like a nice guy. Just go to sleep and don't throw up on the carpet." He fled the room, torn between wanting to scream at Kent or just beat him. Regardless, he didn't want to deal with him intoxicated at all so he'd wait until later.

Kent finally noticed Riley. "Thought you hated dogs."

"I do but she's a nice companion."

"You must have to vacuum constantly."

Soap paused and frowned. "What?"

"German Shepherds shed a lot unless you groom them regularly. Do you groom her?"

Soap knew fuck all about dogs, but as he thought about it, yeah, he had always heard people complain about how much shepherds shed and he hadn't groomed Riley once. A few hairs had been stuck to his palm after grooming, but her coat remained pristine. "No. Go to sleep."

Ghost went to his bed and received his little kiss on the forehead. Soap like always pulled the blankets up to the dolls chin and then patted him before leaving.

He didn't sleep well. Kept feeling like someone was standing over him.

Soap made breakfast, two plates sat side by side. It didn't really register until Kent was thanking him for cooking and scooping up his plate that he had a guest. Explaining that he had a weird arrangement with the thing living in his house seemed... well a bit insane. As much as he willingly followed the rules, he wasn't sure he wanted to explain them to anyone else. So he stayed quiet and silently apologized to Ghost.

Soap made himself coffee and a cup of tea that he purposely put out of Kent's sight. "So how did you find me?"

"Your mom. Johnny, this felt a bit extreme don't you think? I understand if you hate me. But ditching your whole family?"

Soap swung around, gripping the spoon in his hand like it was it was an actual weapon that could do damage. "Fuck you, Kent. You don't get to fuck around with other people, take advantage of the fact I lost my job, my career, my passion."

"Jesus, Johnny. You lost the military. Big fucking deal. It's better than if you got blown up out there."

"Would've preferred it to dealing with you."

Kent scowled and grabbed Ghost. "So what? You prefer sitting up here, playing dolls than being in the real world? Your family misses you and"

"They can keep missing me. I don't want to talk with them. I don't want to talk with you. And I really think it's best you leave."

Riley snorted and put herself between Soap's legs to heel. Despite her relaxed appearance and peaceful nature, not even hunting squirrels in her retirement, she was tensed up. Clearly ready to maul if just given the order.

"Riley, stay down girl." Soap lightly tapped his ankle against her side in a move he had seen the K-9 units at work use. "Kent, put the doll down. I think it's a sentimental thing for the owner."

"No. This is ridiculous. You sit up here, acting like this. For what? Some guy? You two fucking or something?"

"No, I haven't even met the guy, just put Ghost down." Soap could hear the desperation creeping into his voice.

Kent paused. "Ghost?"

If either of them bothered to stop and listen, they'd hear the creaking of the floorboards. Angry tapping on the walls.

Soap paused. "Yeah. The guy who hired me called him Ghost so I just started calling him that. Just put him down."

Riley left her heel and Soap almost panicked before seeing that she was standing by the mirror she loved.

Kent stared him, suddenly seeming a lot more hateful than he did just a moment ago. He then grabbed the doll and tore it along the inseam on the back.

Cotton fell out but so did scraps of cloth and something metal that hit the floor with a clunk.

Dogtags. Soap would recognize the sound anywhere. It made sense. Simon was probably ex military, same as Riley and Soap.

They sat on the floor next to the cotton and then there was another crack, this time of the glass on the mirror.

Kent whirled around, freezing for a moment. The lights ahead seemed to flicker, but that may have just been his imagination. Soap watched mutely as Kent went to the glass and touched it, following the cut. "Weird. Probably change in air pressure or so-"

A gloved hand smashed through the glass to grab him. Giant fingers pressed into his face as he slammed him into the frame of the mirror, letting him go and making him stagger.

Ghost shoved through the rest of the glass and leaned down to step through.

Big.

Soap pulled back, heart fluttering from fear. He watched this stranger with a skull mask just like Ghost's grab Kent and wrestle him to the floor effortless. Kent struggled but this man was a lot bigger and more importantly, better trained. He struck out and broke Ken's nose, blood splattering on the floor.

"Ghost!" Soap quickly tried to get his attention. The stranger faltered and looked up. Giant brown eyes looked at him. Prettiest eyes that Johnny had ever seen. "Stop."

Just as well trained as Riley, Ghost pulled back. He stepped on Kent's hand as he walked to Soap, staring down at him intensely.

Soap backed up into the kitchen island.

"Johnny." Ghost... purred. The name felt foreign on his tongue, but the response it got from Soap made it perfect.

"Simon?"

Ghost's eyes crinkled from smiling. "Yes. It's nice to finally meet you." He kept advancing until they were pressed against each other. Soap was taken back by the size difference but Ghost fixed that by leaning down. His mask face rubbed against his jaw and along his throat before... sniffing him.

Soap gripped the counter and took a deep breath. He wasn't afraid. Not one bit and honestly that should probably scare him or even just bother him but....It didn't. It didn't at all.

"Johnny." Ghost pressed tight against him, hands finding their way to his hips before sliding them under his shirt. "Thank you, thank you."

Soap wasn't sure what Ghost was thanking him for but before he could ask, he heard the dull thwack of something hitting Ghost's back.

There was a moment of silence before Ghost caught the poker on it's second swing. He glanced at Soap, clearly pleading.

"Go for it."

Watching Ghost beat Kent should've done something. Maybe he should've ran. But Soap had missed the violence and he did not miss Kent one bit.

Watching Ghost move was alluring as well and Soap felt a flush get to his cheeks as his body reacted. He should tell him to stop. Kent wasn't moving.

Soap let out a sharp gasp and Ghost turned his head back to him, blood splattering on his mask now.

"I'll be good." Simon promised. "Better than him. I'll be your good boy."

Johnny stared at him. "I know you will. My good boy, yeah?"

Simon let go of the poker from the fireplace, letting it slide. "Sunshine, do you mind giving us the room?"

Riley ran, knocked her head against his leg, and then quickly ran out. Tail wagging.

"You call her sunshine?"

"Course. She's my sunshine and you're my love." Simon said it so earnestly. So big and so hot and then he was pressing Soap against the island again. "Kiss?"

Soap swallowed and kissed his cheek, making Ghost whine. "Please... Please..." He tilted his head, making it clear what he wanted but letting Soap lean in. Their lips meet, the soft fabric between them getting in the way but Soap could still feel Ghost's lips moving against his own.

Simon pulled away, eyes hazing and adoring. Almost obsessive. He rubbed his cheek against Johnny's. "I'll be your good boy."

[syluscore]

One Foot Here, One Foot Out the Door

~Leon Kennedy angst~

Word count: 854

Content warnings: PTSD, mental illness, gun use, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation, near suicide attempt, self-destructive behaviors, Leon is depressed and contemplating suicide. No comfort, no happy ending, just pure sadness.

I've been having a hard time lately with the battles inside my own head, so I wanted to write about the part of Leon that most resonates with me. The one foot here, one foot out the door feeling. Teetering on the edge of the end. I've barely scratched the surface here, but it felt nice to release these feelings from inside of me.

!!!!!SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY, NEVER SUFFER SILENTLY!!!!!!

~masterlist~ for those who don't wish to proceed with this piece

Why are any of us even born at all? Brought into a world where pain and suffering is the primary universal experience.

He looks at an old lady pushing her grocery cart, knowing she’s experienced pains he’ll never be able to comprehend. He sees a newborn baby and knows there’s nothing at all anyone can do to prevent them from enduring countless heartbreaks and devastation. He looks in the mirror and sees the shell of a man he once was. Or maybe he doesn’t recognize the face staring back at him at all.

He’s merely the solution of an equation made up of trauma, ache, and dread. 

So that begs the question, why the fuck were we even born at all?

Graced with a life that we beg any higher deity to take away. Take it back, take it all back. Why must we be forced to exist? He never should’ve existed at all.

Projecting his own damage as the general consensus to aid in an endless loneliness that no company could ever fill. Emptiness. How can one person feel so empty and so full of disgusting emotions at the same time? 

Countless people tell him he’s worthy of a better life. That he deserves so much better, that there’s better out there for him. But no one ever offers a solution. It’s just words they tell him to make themselves feel like they did something for him. 

If one day he loses the battle between himself and his own brain, they can say that they tried to help him. They were there for him. They took care of him. They can’t believe that this has happened.

They didn’t do a fucking thing. Thank you, sincerely, for your meaningless phrases that went in one ear and out the other. Empty words that he tossed away. Meanwhile, the words inside his own brain telling him the world would be better off without him dug their claws deeper and deeper into this godforsaken soul.

This soul that couldn’t have possibly been designed to endure such bullshit.

If everything happens for a reason, he’s sure that the reason is to see what will be the final nail in his coffin. Each day is harder. The years pass and traumatic event after traumatic event after traumatic fucking event just keeps happening to him. What will it finally take for him to fall apart completely and give himself away completely?

He wishes he could summarize it so simply. He could proclaim that the darkness has him in its grip, but that wouldn’t do it justice. Maybe he’s become the darkness. Maybe any light left inside of him has burnt out and now he’s left with only the nothingness within him.

If he had a choice, maybe he would feel better. He’d tell himself that he does it because he helps people. But that’s just more bullshit.

He’s never had a choice. He’s always been expected to put everything above himself, who gives a fuck what happens to him? Another statistic? A plus one to the casualty count? He’ll destroy himself until one day, that’s all he is.

If he thinks about how much light he used to hold inside of himself when he was younger, he’s filled with a blinding rage. The hopes and dreams he’s long lost and buried. 

How is one person expected to mourn themselves while still fucking breathing?

He’s not himself anymore. The Leon he once knew, maybe even the one he was meant to be, is gone. And there’s nothing he could ever do to bring him back. 

No matter how much he tries to numb himself, to detach himself and just go through the motions, the depression and anxiety always creeps up. It’s the only consistent thing in his life, and it’s not much to cling to, is it?

And as hard as it is to admit it, he truly wants it all to end. 

Maybe not by his own hand. Maybe not intentionally. No, he’s a coward. Too cowardly to take that final step that he so desperately craves.

His daydreams have become a grim vision of what it would be like if a mission went wrong. If something out of his control finally ended his life. 

Perhaps he’s become careless. Acting despite the possible consequences. Because if something finally clipped that last thread tying him to our world, would that really be so bad? Is that really “worst case scenario”? 

He’s no hero. He’s a fucking fool. A fool who at the root of it all, should’ve never existed at all.

The only comfort he finds is in the fact that one day he will cease to exist and there will be no one left on earth who remembers Leon Kennedy. The pain and suffering he’s seen will die with him.

But unfortunately, today is not that day. Today isn’t the start of the world after Leon Kennedy.

“Fucking coward,” he whispers to his reflection as he clicks the safety back into place. He lowers the gun from his temple and smashes it against the bathroom sink with a loud clang.

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hey. i love you. and i would listen to you any fucking time. don't let the worst day of your life be the last. -hannah