#i'm working on several other writing projects rn

[explosionshark]

2024 AOTY

by me! your pal, bri-bri

originally i was going to just write up the first ten albums or so, but then i had things i wanted to say about the rest of 'em so i just kept going. that made the list really long though. so here's just the numbered list, under the cut you'll find my extended thoughts n feelings :)

What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision

For Your Consideration by Empress Of

Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds

Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy

Aumicide by Atrae Bilis

Children of the Moon by State Faults

Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas

Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation

Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely

Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate

Infinite Mortality by Replicant

I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy

Valerie by Tei Shi

Forever by Charly Bliss

You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut

World Fighter by Angel Sword

Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo

Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad

Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon

Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead

Vault of Horrors by Aborted

Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers

Steps Ascending by Stand Still

The Tower by Urban Heat

AOTY 2024

Full list here: write-ups for specific albums under th cut. Ranked somewhat arbitrarily.

1. What I'll Leave Behind by Void of Vision (metalcore) - absolute bummer that this will be the final album by these guys, but I'm grateful for the fact that I was able to see them a few times before they had to call it quits. Been describing this as like a song missing from the Saw 2 soundtrack or something that should have been playing at one of the clubs in Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines or something. I feel like that's accurate - alt metalcore with its nails painted black and a profound love of Nine Inch Nails. Strong lyricism drawn from real trauma, enough fun electronics to make them stand out from more generic metalcore acts, plenty of hooks and some sick breakdowns as well to keep things heavy. I hope Jack Bergin's brain never explodes again and retiring from touring helps him lead a long and healthier life. "Gamma Knife" is the highlight for me

2. For Your Consideration by Empress Of (Pop) - my favorite pop album of the year. Lorely Rodriguez is so insanely talented, this album has a pretty diverse range of sounds without becoming too inconsistent. I love that there's raunchy club bangers like "Femenine" right next to sappy love songs like "Kiss Me" and more introspective tracks like "What Type of Girl Am I?"

3. Sanshi by Ripped to Shreds (Death Metal) - very good year for death metal but I think this is my favorite DM record of the year. I've always enjoyed Andy Lee's projects and Ripped to Shreds has been my favorite of them for years but expanding to a full band has taken them to a whole nother level. Killer riffage throughout, insanely fun lead swapping between Lee and Michael Chavez. "Horrendous Corpse Resurrection" is easily one of my top songs of the year

4. Coup de Grace by Seeyouspacecowboy (Metalcore) - this was a big big SYSC year for me, in large part bc I ended up seeing them live so many times. Honestly initially I struggled with Coup de Grace because it leans harder into the dramatic, theatrical MCR/P!ATD style of emo than any of their other work, and that's not necessarily to my taste. This still makes the top 5 despite regularly skipping several songs on each listen because the rest of it is so damn good. Could not stop listening to it this fall. Safe to say it grew on me. "Chewing the Scenery" and "Subtle Whispers to Take Your Breath Away" were two of my most played tracks for the whole year

5. Aumicide by Atrae Bilis (Death Metal) - one of the most underrated death metal bands active rn imo. No sophomore slump for these guys, this record absolutely smokes from start to finish. It's heavy and it's nasty, but it still grooves. There's enough melody to make it addictive but they're still able to maintain the harshness that makes dissonant death metal compelling. "Hell Simulation" and the closing track "Excruciate Incarnate" are perfect examples of the balance they strike between those two modes

6. Children of the Moon by State Faults (post-hardcore) - 2024 was the year I discovered State Faults. Very much the experience of finding a band that is so much Your Shit that it feels insane that you're almost a decade late to the party. Children of the Moon is the best post-hardcore album of the year imo and it's not even close. These guys draw from an incredible range of influences to create some of the most affecting work in the genre - brutal and beautiful and profound. "Palo Santo" and "No Gospel" absolutely blow me away every time

7. Ridiculous and Full of Blood by Julie Christmas (post-metal? Noise? Julie Christmascore) - anyone already familiar with Julie Christmas' work does not need me to explain why she's such a powerhouse and anyone not familiar will be done a disservice by anything short of listening to her music for themself. All I can truly say about Ridiculous and Full of Blood is that it's one of the most dynamic, interesting albums of the year and I just hope to God she doesn't make us wait another 14 years for her next solo record. The band she assembled for this album is insane across the board, but in particular it was a delight to see her collaborating with Johannes Persson again eight years after the absolutely masterful collaboration with Cult of Luna. If you listen to only one song out of all the stuff I'm recommending today, let it be "The Lighthouse"

8. Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation (progressive death metal) - everyone won't shut up about this album but in this case the praise is absolutely earned. Cosmic, atmospheric, brutal, spacey, heavy as hell. With a Tangerine Dream collaboration no less! Essentially comprised of two long songs, Absolute Elsewhere is a record you need to make time for, meant to be listened to in full to get the most out of it, but it's so, so worth it to take the time. A stunning, transportive piece

9. Lonely People [EP] by Love Rarely (post-hardcore/math rock) - my favorite EP of the year. A very exciting band, they fuse hooky, math rock riffs with post-hardcore intensity. Courtney Levitt's vocals are incredible - a combination of throat shredding shrieks and powerful, emotional clean singing that makes you instantly sit up and pay more attention. "Say Yes" was on repeat for me all year

10. Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate (death metal) - an absolutely crushing, depressive, beautiful piece of dissonant death metal. Undeniably heavy, but on this outing we see Ulcerate lean into some post-rock esque melodicism that elevates their sound even further. It's such an atmospheric album - grim and unrelenting, but strangely delicate in places. Top notch musicianship throughout, but Jaime Saint-Merat's drumming is just mind-blowing. The title track is a must-listen song for anyone who gives a shit about heavy music at all

11. Infinite Mortality by Replicant (Death Metal) - I noticed in my write-ups for the other two dissonant death metal albums on this list, I took a moment to highlight and praise the melodicism therein. That won't be happening for Infinite Mortality. That's not to say there's zero melody at all but to emphasize how much that's not the draw here. This album is an altogether darker, nastier, more menacing affair. There's a grime here, a dizzying, sinister undertone of violence. My first time listening to this record was as background music while I was reading Crypt of the Moon Spider by Nathan Ballingrud and there was a scene in that book I was reading during "Orgasm of Bereavement" where the combination of the sounds I was hearing and the words I was reading gave me a full-body sensory experience: goosebumps, a faint sense of nausea, slight dizziness. I can't think of a stronger album recommendation than that.

12. I Got Heaven by Mannequin Pussy (Rock) - ANOTHER BANGER FROM MISSY DABICE AND CO. Mannequin Pussy keep getting better and better and it seems like they're finally (deservedly) starting to blow up with this record. It's a joy to listen to - snarky, vulnerable, earnest, clever, joyful and pissed off in turns. "Loud Bark" is already iconic, easily one of the finest songs they've written in an already stacked career of certifiable bangers

13. Valerie by Tei Shi (pop) - my second favorite pop album of the year! Tei Shi's first independent release. The breadth of songs on this album is incredible - bachata inflected pop kicks the album off with the explosively catchy "QQ (QUÉDATE QUERIENDOME)" and by the middle of the record we've somehow transitioned to intimate, heart wrenchingly vulnerable meditations on a painful miscarriage with "Falling From Grace." Frustration with the major label rat race as well as evergreen pop subjects of love and heartbreak fill out the rest of the album, but no matter the topic or the style of the song, everything feels honest and confident. The Spanglish version of "Mona Lisa" is one of my favorite pop songs of the year

14. Forever by Charly Bliss (Rock/Power Pop) - talking about honest, vulnerable music! Charly Bliss made their comeback this year and it's unsurprisingly one of the best albums to come out in 2024. Forever feels like a great marriage of the sounds on their other two LPs, Guppy and Young Enough. The band is still leaning into the pop sound that clearly enthralls them but there's a welcome return for fun guitar riffs too. Also there's no album on this list that has a stronger opening than the three song run of "Tragic" to "Calling You Out" to "Back There Now"

15. You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut (Sludge Metal/Noise) - okay enough pop music time for something gross and gnarly and almost guaranteed to give you some kind of disease. Couch Slut have always been here to upset you - and holy shit are they good at it on this album. Each and every song on this record is a provocative, stomach-churning vignette in its own right but none moreso than "The Donkey" where Megan Osztrosits recounts a horrifyingly fucked up story of a friend's drug-fueled bout of self mutilation in Chat Pile-esque spoken word over massive, dirty sludge metal riffs. It's fucking sick. "Here's what happened when my friends and I got fired from a haunted water park" - tell me you don't want to hear how the rest of this story goes, even knowing it will end in a grotesque, bloody mess.

16. World Fighter by Angel Sword (Heavy Metal) - okay enough edgelord shit now we're back to having fun. I honestly didn't think there would be a trad metal release that would top Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater, and then I stumbled into Angel Sword this summer. It's just candy, man. Extremely catchy 80s style riffs, incredible hooks, gritty yet charming vocals. This album is dripping in neon, racing down the highway at 90 miles an hour with two topless babes in the backseat telling you how cool your studded denim jacket and fresh perm look. "Vigilantes" never gets old for me

17. Hicimos Crecer un Bosque by Fin del Mundo (shoegaze) - kinda wild that this is the only shoegaze album that made it onto my list this year but it is what it is! And what it is in this case is the killer second album by Argentinian band Fin del Mundo. If you like fuzzy guitars and ethereal vocals, this is the record on this list for you. Although labeling them a shoegaze band is accurate, it fails to account for the ways post-rock, emo, and dream pop elevate the bands sound to another level. It's a record that's soothing and engaging at the same time, well produced, clear sounding without being too polished. "Vivimos lejos" brings a charming kind of ASIWYFA-style combination of gang vocals and emo instrumentals, resulting in basically four and half perfect minutes of music

18. Ephemera [EP] by Ben Quad (post-hardcore) - many bands are doing the throwback 00s emo/metalcore thing right now, but few of them are doing it as well as Ben Quad on this EP. This is basically They're Only Chasing Safety-worship but that's fine by me. Frantic, melodic, scathing and nakedly emotional, I love the intensity of this EP. I'd kill for a full record in this style tbh, but for now I'll be happy with what we've got. It's an incredibly short 11 minute runtime so I'd really recommend just listening to the whole thing but if nothing else, don't skip "Your Face as an Effigy"

19. Stygian Rose by Crypt Sermon (Epic Heavy Metal) - epic heavy metal, I'm sure, sounds like the stupidest genre name in the world. But like, listen to Stygian Rose and you'll immediately understand there's nothing else that describes it as well. Big, heavy doomy guitars, fast drumming, crazy soloing, nimble bass riffage, powerful heavy metal vocals and lyrics about like wizards and evil kings and stuff? Lie to yourself if you want, but I know the truth. This album fucks hard. "Heavy is the Crown of Bone" and "Glimmers in the Underworld" are crushing, face-melting works of fantasy bullshit. I can't get enough of this album

20. Infinite Void by With Sails Ahead (Post-hardcore) - I discovered these guys through a collaboration with Pulses. last year and I spent most of the intervening time eagerly anticipating the release of their debut LP Infinite Void. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. It's an incredibly confident and fun first record - firmly on the Swancore side of PHC but lacking a lot of what tends to annoy me in that subgenre (insufferable songs about the male ego). Sierra Binondo's powerful and diverse vocal range really takes these guys to another level in a genre where extremely talented musicians are a dime a dozen. Go listen to "Ryn" right now and tell me you're not at least a little bit in love now

21. Vault of Horrors by Aborted (Brutal Death Metal) - it's Aborted! It's a cheeseburger. But it's a really, really, really good cheeseburger after you've been craving one for ages. This record has two gimmicks - all the songs are based on horror movies and each has a feature from a guest vocalist. Admittedly, I find brutal/tech death to be kind of wearying after a while and this tends to affect listenability for me, which is precisely why this album has a place on my AOTY list - I don't get tired of it. It's brutal and punishing but catchy and fun to listen to. Daníel Konráðsso absolutely does not sound like a human being on this. I bet his calf muscles are insane, because the double bass on this record is frankly disgusting. "The Golgothan" has my favorite riff of the record, but there's no bad tracks, honestly

22. Revelations by Sarah Shook & the Disarmers (Alt Country) - haven't really figured out a way to talk about this band that doesn't feel at least a little bit like deadnaming singer/guitarist River Shook but they've yet to change their band name so! Admittedly, not a very country heavy year for me, but if everything I've dabbled in, Revelations is the easy standout. Continuing the band's legacy of clever, honest lyricism and rollicking country rock musicianship, Revelations feels like the best version of their sound yet. "Motherfucker" is a straightforward, righteously pissed off ode to gross, predatory men in the industry, "Backsliders" is a good old fashioned broken-hearted ode to a bad relationship, while "Jane Doe" is the easy standout shot through with emotion, clever lyricism and brilliant guitar work

23. Steps Ascending by Stand Still (Pop Punk/Melodic Hardcore) - I was a teen in the 00s so I'll always be weak to that very Long Island melodic hardcore in 2004 sound that this album is evoking so perfectly. I love fast drums, I love posi philosophical lyrics, I love those melodic, angular guitar riffs, I love a guy shouting and I love gang vocals. Those things in combination just always work on me. "We Know the Score" + "Mysticism" are the perfect 'holler along at the top of your lungs in the car' combo

24. The Tower by Urban Heat (Post-Punk) - one of my most anticipated albums of the year. When they started the album rollout with singles like "Sanitizer" and "Right Time of Night" I had a pretty good idea that the final product would have a good shot at being one of my favorite records of the year. And of course I was right. Most Post-Punk isn't quite capable of keeping my attention, but Urban Heat are so damn good at songcraft. The songs on this record are incredibly dynamic, ranging from the snotty disdain of the aforementioned "Sanitizer" to the surprising tenderness of the New Wave ballad "Seven Safe Places." It's an incredibly strong showing from a really exciting band. I've heard they're killer live, too. Maybe if I'm lucky this coming year I'll get a chance to find out for myself.

And that's it! 24 for 24

Except for these also >:)

Honorable Mentions (aka albums it killed me to leave off this list so I'm cheating by adding them here)

Club Shy [EP] by Shygirl

Prude by Drug Church

It's Inside You by Candy

Sunrise Over Rigor Mortis by Beaten to Death

Verses in Oath by Hulder

Beating the Drums of Ancestral Force by Tzompantli

Agony & Wounds by Obscene

Cure by ERRA

Songs of Blood and Mire by Spectral Wound

The Cycles of Trying to Cope by Like Moths to Flames

Razor Wire by Mean Mistreater

I'll Drown on This Earth by Cold Gawd

Heaven Let them Die [EP] by Counterparts

Dark Superstition by Gatecreeper

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Mel Medarda Is Alive probable evidence megapost (cope with me)

League of Legends UK calling the gold on Mel's back "armor" and then withdrawing the post, first pointed out by @moonsdancer:

This marks an "official" source calling Mel's gold "armor." It implies that once whoever made that post realized that most of the Arcane audience is expecting Mel to be dead, they recognized that hinting that she's wearing armor is actually a spoiler. So, they deleted the post.

Mel featuring in storyboards depicting a scene that did not happen in season 1, shown by @jshepardtsoni and @mollysunder and @miraofhearts2point0:

The Riot-Fortiche workflow has been described as: extensive time and resources spent on writing up front on Riot's side, and then the scripts are sent to Fortiche and storyboarding begins. If writing and storyboarding don't happen in parallel, then that's how Fortiche was able to showcase the one-to-one relationship between storyboards and the finished animated product. There's a lot less throwaway work for the animators, which would happen with major story rewrites.

This means it is less likely that the storyboards featuring Mel in a scene that did not air in season 1 were simply cut content from season 1, and more likely that it's a canon scene that we'll see in season 2. I think relatively little ends up on Fortiche's cutting room floor. The main scene that I'm aware of that did get cut was the "boy savior" scene where young Ekko tries to save Jinx (and I have high hopes that the scene will still be used in S2).

Toks Olagundoye, Mel's VA, saying she's "not allowed to say" whether she's returning to voice Mel in S2, and saying that it would be cool to come back for flashbacks:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Toks Olagundoye (@toksolagundoye)

If she's not allowed to say anything and Riot is taking pains to hide whether Mel or Jayce or Viktor (sorta, lol) survive the attack, then of course she can't hint that she is returning. Her comment about the flashbacks definitely says to me that she was told to hide whether Mel survived the attack - she probably was not instructed to hide whether Mel gets more flashbacks in S2. She's almost certainly implying that Mel does in fact feature in more flashbacks in S2. A fan asked the question, and she wanted to give a substantial and encouraging answer other than just "I can't say anything." Her tone did not personally leave me with the feeling that her character has been killed off.

Toks saying she doesn't know much about Arcane S2 and its airdate etc. doesn't mean anything serious, considering that voice acting for the season seems to have been completed a while ago. Like most actors and especially voice actors, Toks has probably already taken on several jobs since then, so her work on Arcane isn't the project that's freshest in her mind.

The German (and Hungarian, I think) S2 trailers have Ambessa say "Half of the Council is dead" and not "Your Council is dead":

I noticed people in the comments of this trailer analysis video by Necrit talking about how the German trailer says "Half of the Council is dead." After watching the German trailer, and then poking around the other dubbed trailers, I found that the German trailer and the Hungarian trailer both seem to say "half." (I would love it if someone here fluent in Hungarian could confirm!)

From a translation standpoint, I could see this happening because some languages don't have different words for "council" and "counsel" as in "advice." Even in English, the words are homophones. So saying "your counsel is dead" would make no sense. If a translator tried to instead say "your ENTIRE council is dead" to make the meaning clearer, then if some Council members survived, the translator would have to be corrected, so we end up with "HALF of the Council is dead."

If some Council members survived, then I think it's likely that Mel is one of them, considering her armor and her several unfinished plot threads.

Please feel free to add on to this post with anything else you find!

[lacefuneral]

happy TDOV! i haven't made a post in literal years because i always forget LMAO.

hi my name is Jay. i'm a transsexual (FTM) gay man. i'm a femme. my pronouns are they/them and ce/cer.

i'm currently 28 years old. i've been living as a man full time since 2015, when i was 19. it's been a long, weird journey. i went from presenting really masculine at first to meet societal expectation & to pass, to presenting more feminine, where i feel like myself. i went on (and off of) T, i had top surgery, and I feel like the last steps of my journey are full-body hair removal + getting my nipples tattooed into hearts, so I still have to check those off of the list. i have regretted nothing, and have become happier and more assured in who i am over time.

i'm AuDHD. I'm chronically ill. i'm physically disabled. i'm fat. i suffer from very severe OCD and CPTSD. and i refuse to be embarrassed about any of those things!

i write poetry, i draw, i collage, i take digital & traditional photos, i colorize other people's black and white photos, i sing, i voice act, i compose music, i edit videos. and no matter how hard life gets sometimes, i refuse to be a statistic. transsexual, you must live!

(mobile users. this is a video 👇)

(forgive the shoddy compilation lmao i'm recovering from a concussion rn; i just made this quick on my phone)

anyway. i have a lot of miscellaneous interests. right now i'm very hyperfixated on OFMD so you'll see that a lot. (as well as other things Rhys Darby is in; i've been a fan of his for 17 years.) but i also like Twin Peaks (and Dune 1984 lmao), Star Trek TOS/TNG, Red Dwarf, various video games (i'm playing disco elysium right now and really enjoying it!), and I also reblog a lot of shitposts and pretty art and imāges of créatures (🐇🦌🦋🐙🦞)

i run @transmascore (which has been on hiatus since forever and needs a major rework to fix linkrot etc.) which is an art, positivity, and resource blog for transmasculine people which is intended to be interacted with by any gender. i made transmascore after being frustrated by "positivity" and "-core" blogs for trans men that were filled primarily with cis art, cis words, and cis bodies. i also made it as a place where people who are not transmascs can learn about us and engage with our art. and as a place that is firmly distanced from transmisogynist/manosphere transmasc """"activism""". it is also intended to be a time capsule, data to be collated and archived for future transgender people to find.

i also run @guyfemme which is a similar project about documenting queer effeminacy and the femme identity, particularly in gay transmascs when possible.

when i'm feeling better i want to work on designing things, making more art in physical mediums, making zines, and researching how to open an online shop. these are all tasks i've been procrastinating from since like. 2019.

anyway i hope everyone has a good tdov. smiles

[dwarfsized]

author quastions

tagged by my beloved @aevallare i love you. mwah mwah mwah

When did you start writing?

I've been telling stories since forever. I have notebooks upon notebooks, going back to when my handwriting was illegibly terrible, with stories that were also. terrible. but baby leetle was trying. and bigger leetle is still trying.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I think i wouldn't want to try writing a pure sci-fi story? and i love reading those.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

uh maybe Mary Oliver, the poet? i come back to her work over and over again. I also love Tamsyn Muir's blend of absurdism and gut-punch. I'd be very happy if someone compared me to either, but I try to just be myself when I write.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I write in my living room on my laptop, curled up like a shrimp on the couch. this is bad for my back (and the rest of my body) but if i sat Correctly i think i'd die.

I also write on my phone Whenever and Wherever i have an idea.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

:') go do stuff. read books and poetry, watch movies, take a walk, see your friends, go to a new grocery store, experience something. you can't pour from an empty pitcher, and you can't write when you have nothing in the tank. At least, *I* can't write.

If you just want to be putting words down every day, you can also try having multiple projects. This wont mean that any of them get finished. But you'll be able to pick and choose what you work on and possibly muster up creative zest for something on any given day if you have several irons in the fire.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

That you will change and you can't do anything about it. That you can't go back, not really. That everyone is working with their own information and biases and that fucks things up, even when they mean well.

The one that surprised me was "looking for a sense of belonging" because, hey. Can I stop putting that in stuff, please.

What is your reason for writing?

Because I have to. I have no other choice. The stories have to come out.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

All comments rule but there's something really special about ones that quote something from the fic that they liked in particular.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

"wow she's really a freak about this concept huh (affectionate)"

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

i think my internal monologue rules and i think about worldbuilding a lot

How do you feel about your own writing?

i like it. i can see the cracks but when i put something out there for people to read, ive really worked hard on it. I'm proud of the effort i put in.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

mostly its about what i want to write, because i cant stay motivated otherwise, but things like troubled thoughts that are love letters to people (hi alex) are total joys. that was so fucking fun. cant wait to finish parts 2 and 3. :)

i tag @mutualcombat and @again-please and @lyzelky and @kittenintheden and @septemberskye sorry if you've been tagged already im in a con vortex rn

[thesymphonytrue]

Hiiii! You know I love your longer fics—the Ghosts and Echoes series and your wing au fic! And I was wondering how you stay motivated to work on longer fics. And come up with manageable plots that are still interesting to read. (Sincerely someone working on a longer project while also experiencing writers block 😅)

HIIII!!! 🥰 thanks for the ask, @ascreamintothevoid-blog <3 <3 <3

Aw thank you so much!! I had fun writing them!! And your comments kept me going when I hit roadblocks, honestly!! 😅

MOTIVATION: oh man motivation for longer fics....well...I'd say with my first long fic, Ghosts, I kind of kept into it blindly and then had to finish it, it was my first fic I'd posted for the White Collar fandom and while I had about 50% of it finished, if I hadn't gotten such encouraging comments, I don't think I would have ever finished it. The comments gave me such motivation, because people were reading my story and liking it and I was just....thrilled 😭🥹 On that vein, maybe I crave human interaction or feedback on my stories too much, but with all of the long fics I have written, I have started posting them when I'm about 50-80% finished writing it....then the reader feedback helps me get to the final sprint to the end. so...THANK YOU to anyone who has commented on my longer fics, it really helps with motivation! 🥹

The other two, I definitely had to do more "scheduled writing" to finish them---I made a goal of writing a chapter per week while simultaneously editing a previous chapter. It was a reasonable goal at the time and helped me through the slumps of not being "inspired"---I just would sit down and word vomit into my draft and then clean it up later 😂 Long fics feel like a marathon. They are fun, but exhausting!

PLOT DEVELOPMENT: Okay, so plot. LOL. I struggled with this, because, ya know, fanfic is so often inspired by just ~vibes~ 😂 Let me take the wingfic AU as an example for how I developed the plot, so there will be spoilers for that below if you haven't read it:

Normally my fics start with a vibe-like inspiration and then I kind of weave the plot around that. With longer fics, I figure out my climax of the story, and then scatter the characters and make their individual trails to get there. If that makes sense?

So let's take Neal in the wingfic for example. His climax in this story is after having searched for belonging, he finally finds his "family." That was the basic goal. Then, I had certain moments I wanted in the plot: the wing sacrifices, for example, so I placed those moments in the plot. THEN, I connected those moments. The connecting of the moments is the hardest for me lol. ( I do outline in detail long fics in a journal and draft several outlines before settling on one. )

Then, after I have my main characters plots developed, I start weaving in the villains and side characters. In this fic, I had never planned on developing Peter's father, John, until I started writing----then all of a sudden his story just appeared in my head and had to be told. So I had to adjust my original plot, but his story made the plot much richer, so perhaps he was meant to be there all along. It's weird. But most of the time plots like that just...it's like the characters actually tell me their story in my mind and I'm just listening to them.

and hrmmm making them manageable and interesting? Well, to me they don't seem riveting because I know the whole story. LOL. I have to remember that the reader is only seeing what I have shown them so far, so they likely will find it more exciting than I will writing it. I keep it manageable by limiting the characters and character POVs...and...by not getting into macro plots (like social justice for Flyers like I wanted to, but it was just too much for me to handle).

OKAYYY long answer but I hope that helps!! Thank you so much for the ask!! I actually have been struggling with lack of motivation/writer's block lately (seriously, my mind is EMPTTTYYYY for fics rn 😭) and this helped me remember how fun it is to write and makes me want to get back to it.

Also good luck on your longer project!! you can do it. Just baby steps and small chunks at a time---that's how I stayed at it, a tiny bit of writing per day, and when you need a break, take a break! the inspiration will flood into your brain when it's ready 😎

[hydn-jpg]

Hi, it's your secret pal! I'm curious - what is your favorite aspect from each of your pairings? How would you describe them, what draws them to each other? Feel free to ramble, I'd love to get to know more about them!

hi hello!! i'm so sorry i couldn't answer earlier, there's been several losses in my family (not my immediate family but very close relatives) and it was kind of a lot so i wasn't able to go online for a while ,, i know this is probably not very helpful anymore at this point but i will try to answer it still!

i'm not good at writing and i don't really think about them much outside of reading their books and drawing them so for the most part, my mcs and their lis closely follow their 'canon' stories and personalities ,, but i will try to describe some thoughts i've had abt them!

trystan x noel

i've always been a sucker for the kind of dynamic they have, where one is really flirty and charming and the other is a gruff, no nonsense person (i'm sure there's a name for this dynamic but i can't think of it rn,,). i also love the forced proximity they had at first, with noel reluctantly letting trystan work with him but thawing and warming up to him over time!

i definitely love their interactions most in book 1 and kinda wish they stayed in that sort of dynamic for a bit longer (in fact, i would've liked if book 1 was just them flirting back and forth, and for the actual romance to start in book 2 haha). i liked book 2 but it felt a bit rushed and some parts were kinda weird to me. haven't read book 3 or the proposal book yet and idk if i want to lol

i think trystan was fascinated and attracted to noel right off the bat. noel's gruff and sarcastic demeanor is refreshing and dare i say, sexy to him :3c the attraction might be superficial at first, but over time he starts to notice noel's little quirks (like how his handwriting is complete chicken scratch, unreadable to everyone but himself and ruby somehow, or how he pouts when deep in thought, something noel himself doesn't realize he does). at first, he finds them amusing. but then that amusement became fondness and that fondness became something more, and things kinda just snowballed from there!

i don't think noel thought much of trystan until a lot later (at least, a little bit later than in the books). he was hot, sure, but he was also kinda annoying, too talkative and entirely too flirty. but i like to think that trystan's "annoying" traits are also what eventually draws noel to him, like his talkativeness(?), his chatter, his voice — the same one that used to annoy him when they first worked together on the sonja case becoming the balm to soothe his nerves as they get closer to each other. does that make sense?? idk lol. he pretends to be annoyed but he secretly doesn't mind it. maybe even finds it endearing, not that he'd admit it at this stage haha

noel doesn't just fall. he plummets, even though he's reluctant to acknowledge it at first. but when he does, he's all in for him <3

i think they definitely fit into the 'he fell first, he fell harder' trope!

i don't see their dynamic changing much after they get together. their banter stays the same, but you could definitely tell that it's also become more affectionate! they're also more open and vulnerable with each other, but i think that's kind of a given haha. i see them cooking together pretty often too! noel's a great cook, and trystan is always eager to help out :D

in my personal canon, noel and trystan wouldn't get married (although i do have a wip of trystan proposing... but that's a joke post haha). maybe i'm projecting but they just don't seem like marriage-type people. i see them being common law partners instead!

oh also! noel is bisexual but has never been in a committed relationship with a guy until trystan. by the start of book 1 he hasn't been in a relationship in quite a while (idk if i want to make it canon or not yet but his last relationship probably didn't end very well) so falling for trystan was kind of scary for him, but with trystan's help he was able to warm up to it quickly c:

cas x jiwon

immortal desires was one of those books that i kinda scoffed at when i first saw the cover but it ended up being my second favourite book after crimes!! i love cas (and gabe but this is not abt them), he's the classic bad boy with a secret heart of gold trope c: maybe cas is the real golden boy all along haha

cas was interested in jiwon bc he was new in town, a fresh face. that was it, until he noticed that gabe was clearly interested in him. then it became a game of sorts – whenever gabe was near the new guy, he made it his personal mission to invade their space. so he hung around jiwon mostly to get under gabe's skin (though he had to admit, jiwon's witty comebacks and sharp remarks made it all the more enjoyable), but the more they were together, the more he genuinely enjoyed jiwon's company. eventually he wasn't there to annoy gabe anymore, he's there bc he wanted to be.

he loves that jiwon doesn't take his shit. he stands his ground where others would cower or straight up ignore him.

i think what jiwon likes most abt cas is that despite how he (tries to) act, he's really just a big softie and also kind of a dork :3c that's it lol. cas isn't as subtle as he thinks he is, and jiwon sees right through his bad boy facade (in fact, he thinks cas is kinda terrible at the whole bad boy thing. like, "oh i just gave you my jacket bc if i don't you'd freeze to death and i don't wanna deal with that" ?? please). cas is cas, and that's why jiwon loves him <3

lucky x woojin

they're a newer pairing so i haven't had many thoughts about them but i think of them as having a playful, teasing relationship (the teasing mostly on lucky's part haha)

idk how to explain this but in the nicest way possible, i think of woojin as a bit of a cringefail loser. idk why. but i do think that's part of what makes him so endearing to lucky! he's cute, but in the loser kind of way, if that makes sense

he probably already had a crush on her growing up, whenever she and destiny and the rest of the gang would hang out at their home he would always try to find an excuse to talk to her, or try to impress her by doing something probably dumb (i'm thinking somewhere along the lines of young rhett and link hijinks), much to destiny's ire and to lucky's amusement

other than that, i think of lucky as being the more dominant one in the relationship (not necessarily in just a sexual way, but like in general).

i think that's all i could think of them rn ;; i haven't actually finished reading terrorfest yet so it's a bit difficult for me, a (mostly) canon enjoyer, to visualize what they'll be like at this point. but i will try to write more about them when i finish reading!

(also ik what could happen to lucky if your points with her aren't high enough(?), so that's definitely an alternate route i'm interested in exploring!)

__

again i'm sorry if this wasn't very helpful! i feel like i didn't really answer your question ;;; ik you said feel free to ramble but i literally wrote out my train of thought so it's kinda all over the place haha

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the lovely @goldheartedchaoticdisaster

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

when I was a little kid I was daydreaming/writing little stories for the things I liked back then. Then I started reading the Harry Potter series and somehow? ended up finding out about fanfiction through that. I don't know how that happened, but either way, I was like !!! THIS IS A THING OTHER PEOPLE DO??? and it went on from there.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Only counting published fics rn because I can't go through my drafts to give an accurate answer. 25.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

If we're only going by PUBLISHED fics, 12 years. Otherwise, the answer is either 17 or 13 years.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely read more. It's easier to read than to write.

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

I think I've gotten better with dialogue! no two people talk exactly the same and I've started really liking how to get into their speech patterns. and that impacts how their inner dialogue works too.

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hm. I don't think it's weird exactly but I got very thorough in my research in Romanian history for writing Joan. I also did reading on grief and losing children which is not exactly a normal topic for a single childless person to be reading about.

7. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

definitely any "I reread this so many times" type of comment! like!!! they liked it enough to come back!!!

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I mean I write/am going to write fics about hallmark movies and tv series so.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Probably romance. Like explicit romance anyway - I can definitely handle flirting, or writing friendships in a way that can make people go "are they just friends???" But then we get to actual romance and it's suddenly much harder even though there doesn't have to be any difference?? idk

10. What is the easiest type?

hurt/comfort, definitely. or fluff. either of those are so easy.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I use google drive mostly, plus the occasional notes app fic, and I used word doc when I still had my school account. Tempted to subscibe just because I'm annoyed at it. I published all of my fics on ao3. I also write a few there as well, much to everyone's horror.

I was a fanfiction.net girl in the beginning! I still update Ethereal on there but overall have let it go, though I still have a Avatar fic there I want to keep working on... despite clearly not making any progress on that since finishing the first in a trilogy several years ago now. I also have Ethereal on wattpad as well and I'd say that's the fics "main" platform despite being on both ao3 and ffn.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

very long, intense/dramatic fics. I'm a oneshot girl. I struggle with longer fics. and when those longer fics are intense I get nervous.

13. What made you choose your username?

the year was 2012, I finally decided to make a fanfiction.net account, and knew nothing except I wanted my username to be Lady of Something. but most of the cooler things I thought of were taken, until I landed on Spirit and that simply stuck.

tagging @dani-luminae @strangelock221b @sighonaraa @vinatintasupernovita @altschmerzes @flowerflamestars @apinchofm and anyone who sees this and wants to try!!!!

[yourwitchjay]

Quick update for anyone who reads my ao3 and is wondering what's going on with lets leave together (till death did us part)

First off IM NOT ABANDONING IT!! let's leave together is still there, I love it too much to ever let it go so don't worry.

The main thing is that I'm having a hard time with writing at the moment. I did more writing during August/September then I have in a while, I was writing almost every day and it felt really good but it unfortunately did burn me out. That on top of a vast decline in my mental health that I'm still dealing with caused me to not write as much.

Now, I've mentioned this before but I'm in university, and I do a lot of writing for my major, like a LOT, so most of the energy that I do have for writing goes into that. Especially with several final essays approaching.

Now, I am still doing my writing for me, the 30 days of headcanons is a really fun way to do that. And with my rise of minecraft related hyperfixation (namely aphmau) returning, that's where I'm putting my focus. Marauders is a special interest for me, I know a lot and I care a lot but I have ways where it's hyperfocueed for me. I'm still very interactive with the Marauders fandom and consume it on the daily but I just don't have as much modivation for writing it rn.

As for let's leave together, it's temporarily paused and I'm hoping to prewrite a few chapters so when I do get back to posting it I will be able to have a secdule, still unsure if I'll be keeping my once a week right away or starting once every other week. I cannot say when this will happen, but it will at least be by december, possibly sooner but I'm not putting money on that.

As for writing in general, I still like putting my work out there so I'm switching my focus to one shots and tumblr posts at the moment. I have plans of longer projects but this is all bear bones and there's honestly too many so I'm not even touching it bc that creates pressure and I cannot handle pressure right now.

So yeah, let's leave together is still here and look out for oneshots and have a nice day!

[faeriecinna]

WIP Questionnaire (2.0)

I was tagged a second time by @finchwrites, so I'll do this for my second WIP too.

Project.Ink

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

As I mentioned in this post, as someone from an Irish family, I wanted to write a novel that paid homage to our folklore, so I decided to mess with the general concept of a 'changeling'. Rowan came to be when I tried to think up a character that was a faerie who, for some reason, believed they were a human - and the rest followed.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Not so much a theme song, but Rowan and Killeen's song is definitely Dying Star by Ashnikko and Ethel Cain. I'd probably have it playing in the background when Killeen realises who Rowan actually is to her.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

Rowan was the first character I created for this story so I do have a soft spot for her in my heart, but because I knew I wanted this to be a queer story, when I created Killeen I basically just turned my ideal woman into a lesbian fae warrior so??? of course I would die for her?? Plus being The Inquisitor for The Sidhe Court is kind of a slay, no?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Never read it, but from what I've heard I can only assume ACOTAR peeps would be into it. If anyone has ever watched Zone Blanche/The Black Spot (spooky french supernatural murder drama), that is EXACTLY the vibe I'm going for - just Irish (and if you haven't watched it you should).

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

There are two parallel storylines in the story - Rowan's storyline when she is taken into the Fae realm, and the second storyline that follows the aftermath in her small town when her parents report her missing. I struggle a fair bit with actually writing the aforementioned second storyline because I get so caught up with all the lesbian dumbassery that I forget there is in fact a second layer to my plot.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Crows, ravens and other corvids are ALWAYS a motif in my stories. The Sidhe also have a strong supernatural connection to the flora and fauna so not only are there several different kinds of forest dwelling animals in the story, but most of the characters can communicate with them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Honestly for a fantasy book my setting/map is rather small so most of the travel is done by foot. I guess there'll probably be a few police cars involved and maybe some kind of sailboat at some point lmao

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

In the earlier stages of the first draft atm. I started this as a passion project only about 6 months ago even though I had the plot idea for a couple of years.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

Queer fae. Need I say more? Also I'm hoping the fact that there are a lot more spooky/horror elements to this story, as opposed to a lot of faerie narratives, will interest people. It's all going to be set in Ireland as well so that's another demographic that I hope will enjoy it!

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

It's a queer story where the characters are just... queer.... and in love... there's no homophobia, no "I'm gay and that's okay and normal!", no having to come out - it just is right from the get go, a gay story about gay girls being gay without that being the focal point of the narrative - so I hope that if it ever gets published, it'll be a book that queer people can go to when they need a spooky gay fantasy without any of the trauma and alienation that we feel as queer people irl. I hope people connect to the story and take some comfort in the darkness.

And I'm gonna tag @sleepywriter00 @akiwitch and @eccaiia

(blank under the cut)

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

[dirtyoldmanhole]

real dweeby navel gazing time

i think one of the reasons i am having genuinely, so much fun with this gunter slowburn fanfic despite sitting at a literal 53k words rn and with it probably being close to 90k all said and done, is it's ... writing the ship i see myself in the most by far on both sides.

like, ever.

this shit is the rawest most honest shit i've ever written.

i've talked a little bit about how corrin's memory wipe stuff is literally a 1:1 to my anesthesia/childhood surgery/physical therapy conga line of bullshit. even aside from the helpful textual 'here's how this works from a medical event standpoint' there's the 'here's the emotional scars that it will leave because yes it is a bodily/mind violation of a sense, over and over, and jesus all of this of this stuff goes so well thematically to the straight up fantasy bullshit of nohr with the underpinning of being hyper-aware to the themes of "power" "use" "what it takes to survive by emotionally dragging yourself through a minefield" etc. stuff i've been ruminating over since being conscious lol.

then my body's so whack from a physical joint perspective that there's also almost word for word conversations from gunter's side that i've had with my gf about how to navigate certian shit from a kink perspective but also like... how to maintain dignity when your body's kinda physically crapping out on you due to the march of time.... without loosing the sexytimes u know?

the concept of dignity in the face of being broken is a huge theme in this fic that gets echoed. very poignant for reasons you fates players know.

amusingly there's a scene near the end where corrin's helping him to shave after his stroke. (in one of fate's "clearly having a giggle at my expense" coincidences i've been in contact lately irl with somebody who's also gone through a stroke and man is it not easy) and it's this kind of perfect blend of she's helping him, technically, with something that could just be... god awful self loathing brainspace wise for him but it turns into this amazingly hot kink scene with some serious sizzling power exchange.

the dream, man!

there is a real thin line between being able to laugh at yourself *while* keeping that dignity to pointedly.... having to not look in the mirror some days. desire and shame being some real fucked up entangled wires too, in that sense.

the tumblr uwu approved discussions re: tricky medical/'my body is crapping out on me man and i can't hide it'/kink shit and having to be ~valid~ all the time gives me the hiiiiiveeeees man (and i'm not knocking it for other people, i know why it exists, but it sends my hackles up u feel).

and yet this fic still feels like, hot, in the fun sense.

there's enough fun whacko fantasy taboo elements in it that it doesn't feel .... oh no this ain't sexy this is Too Real, you feel, or too much like a trauma fic(tm)

there's the sexy yandere villain ossan (lol), corrin herself has one hell of a sex drive (and honestly that's yet another huge focus, that wish fufillment fantasy of this 'pure fragile princess chick that's fought over like a prize by everyone else' who gets to choose 'no i actually want the hot villain kthx'. she actually rants to him several times about being fought over and having everyone else from nohr/hoshido project all the shit on her.

(and him being all, I got you, I get it.)

he actually does!!!! that's the funniest darkest most ironic thing!! he's got that weird blend of being aware enough from a kink perspective and just 'went through enough shit' life perspective of why sometimes the most sacred, profound thing you can do for somebody is to break them when they ask for it. sometimes in the dark u just want the brain wires to go bzzt.

there is a weird as hell comraderie in the sense of facing very specific demons that only they have (which, again, hilariously, goes so well with the themes of revelation! invisible enemies/demons that only you two know about.)

and then i have like yet another essay in me about how literally every character i've RP'ed is a suspiciously similar to his whole... archetype.... like all of my RP partners have gravitated to playing the chicks in the het relationships and i've always RP'd the snarky older guy going through life snarking at shit and being a closet misanthrope (there's probably some presentation/gender-aligned stuff going there but this is already navel gazey as hell lol)

anyway

tl;dr i haz feelz

[rhodophoria]

hi I wanted to ask out of curiosity if your no white dove is still continuing? cause I enjoy reading it also I do like your other work as well :3

heya nonny, i appreciate the curiosity 💖

no white dove is absolutely still continuing—i was just able to work on it a little yesterday. unfortunately i've been ridiculously busy the last few months, and it's pulled me away from working on writing as often as i would like. i've had to pack for new carpet installation, unpack everything, and then turn around and pack again to fully move out on short notice, which is what i'm in the middle of atm. pretty sure things will calm down within the next week or two, fingers crossed 🤞 

on the more positive side, another minor reason for no updates is because i have a stupid amount of active wips that i'm bouncing between as inspiration strikes. hhcg is sitting at 13,000 words and i’ve had several new ideas for major projects. on top of that there's quite a few pwp one shots that vary anywhere from 600 to around 3500 words (og sans, fell sans, [redacted], cross, cross and killer, and uh…. 🦈.) nwd is still the #1 priority, though. chapter 4 will be the next thing i post.

anyway tl;dr nwd and hhcg are both still active and i've got more coming, i'm just very, very busy rn lol

[papaya-inspiration]

Hi! How are you doing? Have you published a lot of papers? That sounds really cool! How long does the whole process take, if you don't mind me asking?

Hey puppy! I'm doing pretty well. Been working on a new side project that's got me very jazzed lately (but don't tell my supervisor, because it's not strictly what they're paying me to work rn jkjkj XD)

Have you published a lot of papers?

The answer is... yes and no. I only have one first author paper right now--that means that I lead and did the majority of the work and writing myself. I also have one 2nd author and one 3rd author paper, which is honestly a bit behind where I wanted to be at this point in grad school. I'll be applying to post doctoral positions in the fall, and it would have been really nice to have a few more papers that I was the lead on under my belt before I get there. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to push a project through the publication process, and my current projects probably won't quite get there in time for applications. (I've got one and a half that I still kind of have hope for. We'll see.)

That said, I'm on over two dozen other papers. I'm an observational astronomer, and for several years now I've volunteered to take survey data on one of the large groundbased telescopes. What this means is that every so often I stay up all night operating the telescope and taking data for other people. (This happens remotely over zoom and an ssh terminal window, I don't actually get to go to the telescope.) In return, the people who use that data give me authorship on their paper. I'm not usually involved in the data analysis, but my name is on there! Separately, I'm part of a few large collaborations where I help with target vetting or data cleaning, and I also get offered authorship for that work too.

How long does the whole process take, if you don't mind me asking?

Oh gosh. A long ass time. Then double it. First you have to do all the data analysis, which always takes three times as long as you expect it to. Then you have to write the paper, which you usually do simultaneously with redoing a bunch of the analysis because you realize there are a bunch of other angles to cover. Then you send out the paper to co-authors and give them anywhere from two-weeks to a month to review it and send you comments. Sometimes this results in more redoing of analysis. If the edits are substantial enough, you send it around for another round of comments. Then you submit it to the journal, who can take anywhere up to a few months to match you with a referee, who reads your paper and sends you back additional comments. Then you have a few months to do revisions and apply their suggested changes, send it around to co-authors for comments again, and then send it back in. Sometimes there is a second round of refereeing, though that isn't common. Then it goes to proof and, eventually is published.

The whole process, starting from when you "finish" the analysis and the first draft of the paper writing, can take anywhere from a few months to a few years. It varies by journal as well. Publishing in high profile journals like Science and Nature can take a notoriously long time. (I am on one paper in Science, and it nearly two years from the first time we submitted it to when it appeared in print.) That said, shorter papers in more specialized journals can go through in just a few months. And there are other options, like research notes (which don't get peer reviewed) that go up even faster.

[weregreatatcrime]

Hiii! Omg I am so happy to see you doing Trollhunters again! And I am enjoying the crossover tidbits.

Though, as an older fan, I am curious to ask, hope it doesn't feel too pushy. Have you thought about your Kanjibarbara fic ever since coming back to ToA?

Okay so I'm gonna say it again and probably not one more time. Not because this ask was pushy, you're fine, but because I've gotten Several asks about it over the last two years since stopping Kanjibara au and all my other projects. It's frustrating because it's a deeply personal and painful topic for me and many people from multiple Fandoms keep asking the same questions. Like a lot of people. Like, a LOT of fucking people on ao3

The last two years have been medical hell. I've had a fuckton of medical, neurological, and mental issues that changed my entire life- part of those issues are cognitive decline and memory loss. The first year is a blur tbh, and a lot of my memories are fuzzy as a result. My ability to recall things is scattered- some shit is fine, some stuff may as well have happened to a stranger.

Part of that is my creative work. I don't think I'll ever continue the things I was working on beforehand, simply because I don't remember what I was planning or what I was doing with them. I remember I had an absolute joy with them! I remember the Trollhunters Fandom being a delight and a very warm and welcoming environment.

But a lot of details are muddy and I'm sure you understand, trying to piece together my own memories of stuff I'm struggling with is frustrating and painful and more stressful than it's worth. I'm already recovering incredibly well right now, I don't feel like digging myself back into that hole for Fandom stuff

New stuff is all on the table though! After two years, I finally was able to get my hand strength back up enough to draw recently and have been working on maintaining it. (Tremors and spasms made it impossible before) I'm also back into writing- though I still struggle with cognitive issues with writing, working on writing things that bring me joy has helped a lot

But all my projects from before are likely not going to be touched on again. It sucks. But they're a sensitive topic for me rn and probably will be touchy for a long while. Chances are I'll delete any asks or comments I get about them from here on out just for my own sake

[im-fairly-whitty]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @slusheeduck!

How many works do you have on AO3?

53

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

580,654

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Witcher Wolf, The Witcher Wolf Part 2, Changes, In Plain Sight, and Forget Me Not.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I did when I first started out, these days I'll usually only respond to comments that pose an interesting question or point about the text or that have an especially entertaining element to them.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

A Bard Called Dandelion. More bittersweet than angsty, 531 words about outliving everything you love.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

To quote @slusheeduck: "Probably Teacher AU. Literally everything tied up neatly for the happiest ending possible."

7. Do you write crossovers?

I've done some Coco x PATF since I've got OCs from those universes who are star crossed lovers. Also have a DBH fic that takes place in the Witcher universe, but only with DBH characters on screen.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? Occasionally there's a comment that's bizarre/poorly phrased/the commenter has terrible reading comprehension, but not really anything actually intentional.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope! In fact, back when I first started writing fic I was the kind of person who legally and unironically could not say Fuck.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had a couple of my most popular oneshots unskillfully copycatted, but no copy-pasting theft that I can recall.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! For sure in Spanish, Russian, and Chinese that I recall (and a couple podfic recordings which I love). I have an open policy of my works being fair game for translation as long as I'm credited and tagged.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I got into this game in the first place by co-writing with Slush hahaha. And I've got several DBH co-written pieces since I was part of a robust fandom writers server back in the day.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Ruia. Ruy (a Coco OC) and Iria (a PATF OC) that are the prettiest disasters you ever did see across all their AU's. <3

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've got a discontinued Incredibles fic and a Frozen one that I'm real sad didn't get finished even though I know the rest of the plot for them. Ultimately they were good ideas I had when I wasn't in the social circles of the fandoms they were for and so I lost steam.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Seeing a poorly executed concept and obsessing over why it rubs me the wrong way until I figure out how to do it good and I suddenly have a great story.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have so many creative projects going at all times (wood working, linocut, soft sculpture, ect.) that writing isn't my one true creative love like it used to be, so if I fall out of love with a project it's toast.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Nice spice when done in moderation and with a native speaker's double checking when possible.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Coco

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Pretty content rn actually! If I really want to write it it generally gets done.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm still really proud of Forget Me Not, I think it's probably the most elegant dance I've ever done with a fandom's canon.

[magicalink]

2023 Wrap-up

Wow! Last year 2023 is over and I managed to post a total of 13 fanfics :0 (here I'm only counting the major posts and not smaller things)

Catboys in the House (CITH), chapter 2: Xiao joins the household!

Assembled Love, chapter 1: Perfect Sister.

Assembled Love, chapter 2: Perfect Brother.

CITH: What they do when you're down/stressed and can't sleep.

Assembled Love, chapter 3: Perfect Party.

Assembled Love, chapter 4: Perfect Night.

CITH: The Catboys' Dreams.

A Real Man.

What part of me wasn't good enough? :(

Bunny Boy Kuni!

Do they fuck or do they make love?

CITH: Catboyfriends and penetration.

Broken Beyond Repair.

This is definitely not as many as I wanted to post, but now that I actually counted them, it's more than I thought I had posted! I kinda achieved my goal of posting once a month even if I posted thrice one month and then disappeared for like two months several times.

My drafts and my Google Drive are filled with lots and lots of content that I'm struggling to finish. I've always struggled to give endings to the things I write :/ I'm working on that. I have tons and tons of unfinished Venti fics from when he was my top husbando before our divorce and my marriage with Kuni that I'm unable to finish. As you may have noticed if you took a look at the list of fics posted during the year, now I'm unable to write about characters other than Kuni bc he has me in the strongest chokehold I've ever experienced in my life :D I have to ask him for permission to work on those old fics and he always grabs me by the neck and says nope, focus on me :3 I have the same situation as this person here :3

As I said here, if I come to the conclusion that I won't be able to come up with an ending for a fic, I'm gonna post it unfinished like that Albedo fic I promised I was gonna post unfinished but suddenly got inspo, continued it and guess what, I'm stuck again :3 Gonna post it this month or next up to where I can. And in the unlikely case that I come up with an ending for fics that I post unfinished, I will eventually update them.

Well um, up to here this post was informative about the state of the blog. From here onwards it's more of a personal journal and self-reflection of mine? Just some things for me to remember so feel free to skip it cuz it'll probably be a wall of text. Things I wanna tackle to be able to finish more fics. I have many issues that prevent me from writing, but the worst one by far is toxic perfectionism.

I’ve talked about this in some asks I received, telling you about how when a fic becomes important to me, I get so scared of screwing it up that I stop writing it entirely. When something becomes important to me, I want it to be perfect and no matter how it comes out it never feels quite enough for me. This happens to me with many things in my life but it has also happened to me with Catboys in the House and Assembled Love. At first they were jokes, and side projects for me to practice my writing skills and try to develop the ability of building a linear story with multiple characters. But I fell so in love with them that I wanted to love the next chapters as much as I loved the previous ones and that created a lot of pressure on me.

So basically I’m trapped in a cycle of:  oh I had an idea I feel so passionate about—>I wrote it —--> I loved it —--> it’s unfinished —--> oh no I’m not nearly as inspired as I was back then, what if I ruin it? What if I don’t recreate the same vibes I had when I started it? What if I regret the words I use? What if I regret the changes in the plot? What if I post it and then I hate it because I don’t like it nearly as much as the first chapter I loved so much? What if…? —-> I don’t dare continue it just to ruin it. Let’s write something new that doesn’t make me feel pressured and has vibes I’m actually feeling rn —-> back to step one. Repeat.

And I’m tired of that. I wanna break that vicious cycle. It’s hard bc whenever I try to stand up to the toxic perfectionism reminding myself of the things I talked about with one of the people who asked me when tf is Assembled Love getting an update “it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done” then the number 1 problem, the ocd, gets out of control. So they have to be tackled at the same time with different techniques.

Some people have asked me when are we getting more updates of Assembled Love and Catboys in the House and believe me, no one wants to read those updates more than I do 😭 I have the plot for like 10 chapters already decided and I just can’t come up with the inspo to put it into the right words 😭

I wanna tell you about how Xiao woke up tied up to a chair after reader and Venti found him turned into a human in their house, about how Albedo, Kazuha, and Scara got into the house as well, how Kazuha used to live in a refuge for hybrids ran by Yoimiya and Ayaka, about Zhongli being reader’s boss and how he has a foxboy boyfriend named Childe…I wanna tell you about how reader and Kuni have this annoying sexual tension they can’t get rid of in Assembled Love but they can’t do anything about it because they’re frenemies and because it would make their moms insanely mad at them, about how mysterious Keqing dad is, about how Venti has a secret identity going on at school, about a super handsome redhead quarterback from another school who wants to sweep reader off her feet…but the words just won’t come. You know what comes? Anxiety and ocd, those come in tons.

But I have a set of tools I intend to use to overcome those obstacles and write my stories because I’m the one who wants to read them the most.

The cct techniques against ocd

A shit ton of phrases and posts from other writers that rationalize the problem of toxic perfectionism when it comes to writing and make valid points about why it’s important to screw it and just write anyway. I have a full pinterest album full of them, but my favorite out of all of them is this one:

And I wanted to share it here because I think it applies to everything, not just to writing. I think life in itself is our box and we can do things every day to add sand to it, little by little, like the efforts of an ant, and someday that everyday effort will make something great that will enable you to build something great :3 I think this analogy is especially good for people struggling with ocd, depression, trauma, etc.

And it sucks. Cuz I swear I get the best ideas for dialogues in the middle of a shower or having a chat with my bf and then when I try to remember it to write it down it's gone. But well, I wanna give the architect writers tips a try, and see if I can write things that I enjoy re reading even if the inspo doesn’t feel immaculate. Because I ran out of my own material to read, and it hurts when I reach the final paragraph and I’m like…where’s the rest?? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. And I feel like shit cuz I’m the one who has to write it 🥲

Jumping to another topic, they say that there are two types of writers: architects and gardeners. I don't remember cuz I read it a long time ago, but it goes something like this: Architects plan their stories in advance and build them carefully piece by piece, they are usually more prolific and finish their things in time. Meanwhile, garderners’ projects are like seeds tossed to the ground that only grow if given enough love and passion, and they need to be extremely lucky that the writer doesn’t run out of inspiration or feelings to get finished, and that’s why people say gardener writers almost never finish their stuff. (To exemplify, I rememner they say George Martin is called a gardener writer bc he said he has literally written 3 pages in the last 3 years or sth like that) So I’d say I’m more of a gardener writer but I also have this thing in which the writing I do that I love the most to re read was done in a weird state of being possessed by something (is that what they call the muse?) and I just had to vomit it into words or else. (I swear I don’t consume any substances) Those are the best stories. (The few things I remember of being forced to read the Illyad in highschool is that it starts with the narrator saying sth along the lines of 'oh muser pls sing to me,' becaise they invoked the muse to whisper the story in the writer's ear and I swear to god I used to feel like that. No I don't consume anything. And I haven't felt like that since the fucking step brother Scara cyberpunk fic. More than a fucking year.) And I think I’m not the only one who likes them, since my most popular post was one of those. (Yes, the godforsaken cyberpunk step brother thingy, you guys like the dirty stuff better than the fluff.) And that’s another reason why I don’t write when I’m not feeling possessed. But they also said that “inspiration finds you when you are working”. Never happened to me, it’s more like this:

Anyway, I’m writing this more for myself than anyone else (like pretty much everything that I write but nvm) because I don’t wanna forget the reason I started writing: to avoid forgetting, to relive all those feelings all over again. 

Anyway thank you for reading and commenting my fics all over 2022 and 2023, I had an amazing time and I'm happy with how the blog is turning out. I had a lot of fun both writing and reading and interacting with other people. This year I hope to be able to complete those projects I wanna see finished!

[jjackfrost]

1, 3, 13

How many books did you read this year? 24 ! reading the 25th rn. (booktube has poisoned me into thinking this isn't a lot, but i had a lot more fun reading when i didn't pressure myself into reading more like i did last year lol)

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (reread - it was my fav last year as well lol. This is my FAVORITE BOOK EVER.)

The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler (THIS IS VERY CLOSE BEHIND PHM. THIS IS THE REASON I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT OCTOPUSES)

Our Hideous Progeny by C. E. McGill (this book means so much to me, please read it. ESPECIALLY if you like frankenstein. AND dinosaurs.)

Dracula's Child by J. S. Barnes (a sequel to Dracula that I did not expect to like as much as I did. He's currently writing a sequel to Frankenstein too and I'm like pissing myself)

Romantic Outlaws: The Extraordinary Lives of Mary Wollstonecraft and Mary Shelley by Charlotte Gordon (talked about this in the previous ask. It's a biography, about what it says on the tin. It's so good)

13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

I thought I didn't have many books I super didn't like but then I went on a rant about one of them so I guess I do

The Space Between Us by Doug Johnstone seemed on first glance to have all the ingredients to be a favorite of mine, but it completely failed to make me care about the characters, and the sci-fi aspect of it was pretty underwhelming. Also, the run-on sentences were horrible. Ig it was a style thing, but I hate that so much lol.

The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery was on of the four octopus-related books I read this year after falling under The Mountain in the Sea's spell (The Space Between Us is also one of them, though the octopus in that one isn't really an octopus). It is a non-fiction book about Sy Montgomery learning about octopuses. The beginning was promising, where she first goes to the aquarium to meet an octopus called Athena, and she gets to hold Athena's arms and stuff - but then this just keeps happening. Athena dies and is replaced by another octopus, who Sy holds hands with for a bit, and then that octopus gets sick and is replaced by another octopus, and they hold hands a bit more. Then, maybe I didn't like it as much because it had a lot to do with other animals and learning how to scuba dive, which probably is interesting for other people, but my one-tracked mind was only there for the octopuses, so I just found it tedious. And then even when it was about octopuses, it always felt more like Sy was writing like "wow this is so amazing for ME," like about how it made her feel, and not so much about the actual octopuses ?? And there was something really uncomfortable about reading about them keeping an octopus in a bucket for several months because they were waiting for the other octopus to die, WHILE talking about how incredibly intelligent octopuses are like...isn't this just animal abuse at this point? They BRIEFLY mention the ethics of aquariums and capturing wild octopuses for no reason except to put them in an exhibit, not to rehabilitate them or anything, but it feels like the problematic aspects of this just kinda gets brushed away..... Anyway, didn't do it for me, and by the third time she writes "octopus time" (describing how time seems to flow differently while she's over the aquarium holding the octopus' arms) I was just kinda annoyed lol. Anyway, rant over

Autonomous by Annalee Newitz. This book isn't actually on the bottom of my list because I ranked it both by how much I enjoyed it, just pure entertainment value, and how much I admired the work that went into it. The Soul of an Octopus and The Space Between Us are at the very bottom, but there's still four books between them and Autonomous (The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness, The Unexpected Return of Josephine Fox by Claire Gradidge, and Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater). The reason I'm talking about Autonomous and not any the ones I ranked lower is because I did find the book compelling and entertaining like 80% of the time -- meanwhile, those other books were just fine. They were okay, the didn't really make an impression. I didn't dislike them, there were just other books I enjoyed more. THE THING IS. Autonomous did something so fucking weird at the end that it kind of ruined the whole book for me?? Like, please message me if you've read this in case something has just gone over my head, because like I swear to god there's a character who is gay but refuses to acknowledge it and instead says some really homophobic shit, who never comes to terms with his sexuality and instead puts the label Woman on the genderless character he has a crush on (who knows this isn't correct, but this character is kinda like, "well if it makes him like me then I guess I don't mind," which could have been interesting to explore if it weren't at the end of the book and it never goes anywhere??) and that's just how it ends? Huh????

Anyway, this became a lot longer than I thought it would, hope that answers the questions LMAO