#i'm way less picky with this for some reason

[zllyhoo]

tbh 90% of the reason i made this blog is cause i'm unhappy w/ my art as-is and i really want to force myself to get out of my comfort zone, but for some reason i can't do that to my ocs??? like every picture of my ocs has to be Perfect or else i won't upload it to toyhouse.

so instead i am here. posting homestuck.

[moe-broey]

OKAY OKAY I'M GONNA POST SOME OF MY RAMBLINGS FROM THE GROUP CHAT BC. I'm SO EXCITED about what I fucking scored (these are just snippets I Talked. A Lot LMFAOO)

Okay. Context. Just one pic that doesn't do it full justice bc it has cool little details too (ESP: little straps near the waist that button/unbutton, EXTREMELY USEFUL AND IDEAL to carry my noise cancelors with) (will hit image limit so just saying Dude Trust Me)

Okay. GO

LIKE. LIKE. I went on a whole ass journey about this. The vest I'm talking about in that last screenshot is this really gorgeous handmade green/beige blocked w flower print (it's like. Femme Masc. To me) that I got at a craft fair, for reference! Something I Barely wear/honestly save for special occasions bc 1) the Collar I did not factor in The Collar BUT. I FIXED THIS. WITH SAFETY PINS. Honestly I don't know why I didn't think to do that sooner. And 2) It's... incredibly difficult to pair w my usual jacket. If not impossible.

THIS... CAN CHANGE.... like something I said that I cut out here is The Potential. Of customizing this jacket Intentionally. So that I can layer it in both directions -- worn on top of things ofc but FOCALLY. Easy to wear Underneath something.

IDK IDK I'M JUST SOOOOOO PICKY ABOUT MATERIAL AND HOW THINGS FIT so it's like INSANELY COOL. That I scored something Like This that fits Perfectly to my preferences AND is really good material ESP when I've been wanting to start a new punk jacket For Forever...... again, with more intention this time! I don't have any clear plans or ideas. But I am thinking about The Purpose of it, what I Want from it, and exactly How I want it. And going from there!

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 16 ☁️

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences based on astrology. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

🐚 neptune–venus aspects: you probably get compliments on your appearance a lot. you may have been told that you look a model or a celebrity. there's some sort of star quality to you.

if your neptune is square/opposite your venus, you might struggle to see the same beauty that others see in you. it’s not that you think you’re ugly but you might not think you’re as attractive to the extent that others do, so it makes you wonder what other people are seeing. you might think they’re lying or exaggerating. compliments could also be hard for you to accept. the attention you get can make you a little uncomfortable.

🐚 i used to think that virgo venuses were too nonchalant when it comes to love but this placement will give you that real princess or prince treatment that goes beyond money and materialistic items - that kind of princess/prince treatment may apply more to taurus and sag, but with virgo they give the kind of treatment that considers their partner’s entire well-being and not just their monetary needs and desires. they really care about their partners and want to put their life at ease, they truly care if you ate and aren’t just asking that just to ask. if you haven’t eaten they won’t just say, “oh, damn” or “oh no, eat something :/” but they’re the type to create time to make you something or buy you something to eat and even bring it to you. if they can make your life less stressful in any way, they’ll try to do that. if you’re sick, they’ll take on some of your responsibilities like tidying up your house for you since you aren’t able to do so. there can be times where they won’t even let you lift a finger. the types to say, “i’ll take care of that for you” even if you can do it yourself.

they’re reliable so if they say they’ll do something, you can expect them to do it. but this placement may often find themselves in a position where they’re always being the care taker so they want someone who takes care of them too. these individuals are often anxious and may be quite paranoid when it comes to romantic relationships so they desire someone who will put their mind and life at ease. they can be picky and difficult to impress because of their high standards and because they’re quick to get the ick, but once they love you they’ll really go above and beyond.

🐚 sun opposite rising: your looks may not match your personality and you might even think so yourself. for example, you might look innocent or younger than you are, but really, you’re quite mature and there’s a dark, wild, or unexpected side of you. your looks are deceiving.

🐚 capricorn rising/in the 1st house: you are someone who had ambition and big plans from a young age. money could be a big part of your identity. the ones making “money moves” fr. you could have a lot of work experience. you’ve been working/touching money since your pre-teen or teenage years. 

if your cap rising aspects your mercury then subjects related to money/finance could be something that is always on your mind and it frequently comes up in your conversations as well.

or if it aspects your lilith, then you may be the type to get money by any means necessary, meaning you might be willing to do illegal/immoral things to obtain it. but in your mind, you probably think you have a good reason to do it. something made it worth the risk because capricorns are too rational, prudent, and judicious to just do anything without good reason.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ𓇼 ˖°

🐚 lilith in pisces: might deal w/ sleep related issues such as insomnia, sleep apnea, sleepwalking, etc. 

🐚 sun conjunct mercury (natal): your father may be someone you hold in high regard and therefore someone you speak highly of most of the time. it’s possible that you tend to reflect on the memories you share with him, your similarities/differences, and the influence he has had in your life.

🐚 jupiter in the 7th house: you bring abundance into the relationships you have. this can be a friendship, business partnership, romantic relationship, etc. your loved ones are lucky to have you in their life. you’re generous and you’re the type to spoil & splurge on those closest to you. you bring encouragement and goodness into the lives of others, even if you haven’t known them for long. you’re a blessing. you could have qualities that make you the perfect wife/husband & you could also be blessed with your perfect spouse in return. unless you’re a jerk, you may be someone that people regret losing, especially your ex.

🐚 aquarius: reminds me of The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) in a way, the ones to step up and help a stranger. they have this innate desire to help people, to help the world, even if it’s done in a small way or even if nobody else sees it.

isn’t it ironic how the sign that’s about humanity and togetherness is the one that feels like an outcast or has been ostracized from some group in some way? whether it be by their family (aquarius in the 4th house), friends (11th house), classmates (3rd house), or co-workers (6th house).

as an air sign, they can talk for hours. but out of the 3 air signs, aquarius is the most socially selective. this can be one of the reasons why they’re often described as cold and distant.

they may not be all sunshine & rainbows but they’re actually kind-hearted individuals. it’s just that they may not always express it in the most warm, affectionate, lovey-dovey way. i wouldn’t describe them as the most emotional individuals but they are still empathetic and they dislike inhumane behavior.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ𓇼 ˖°

🐚 sag experiences life to fullest by going everywhere, seeing everything, learning about it all in the process and then reflecting on what they’ve seen & learned.

taurus experiences life to the fullest by really being present in their physical body. they’ll take in the different sounds of a song and dance to the beat, they'll distinguish the different notes or aromas of a particular smell and then buy similar scents to fill their home with it or to wear as perfume/cologne. when eating, they'll really taste food and explore the different flavors/ingredients, then maybe they’ll try to cook it for themselves. they’re in tune with their senses and therefore the world around them. it’s such a beautiful way to experience life, but this can also mean that they are quite sensitive to their environments. with that being said they may feel a strong connection to nature/the earth.

🐚 cancer in the 10th house: may be perceived as compassionate & loyal, shy, or a sweetheart by the general public. could be sensitive about their reputation and any criticism they receive. they spend time nurturing their career, and their career may even relate to nurturing children, caretaking, or healing. they rely on their intuition or heart to carve out their path and navigate their career. they’re good listeners and as a cardinal sign they also possess that leadership quality. the types to provide their close friends and family with opportunities to help them reach their own success. a desire to take care of their family and their needs once they make it. people within the same industry as them may see them as a motherly mentor.

🐚 scorpio in the 2nd house: they can have deep and/or raspy voices. it’s music to my ears, but especially if it’s a woman with this placement. that’s because women typically have higher pitched voices, and so naturally, these women stand out when they speak. if they can sing well, they can probably reach deeper notes than most women typically can. but in the same breath, it may be hard for them to reach high notes. this applies to both the natal chart & the mercury persona chart.

🐚 saturn rules the teeth and so people with saturn in retrograde in the 1st house, or saturn opposite/square pluto, lilith, mars or the ascendant may have a chipped tooth due to a certain event such as getting hit in the mouth or biting on something hard. or they may have a gap between their front teeth, the type you inherit genetically or from your parents. this doesn’t mean they have ugly teeth or an ugly smile. however, whether they feel like they have an ugly smile or not, they may have a tendency to smile without showing their teeth or they cover their mouth when smiling/laughing in attempt to hide their teeth. either way, there’s a sense of self-consciousness here.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ𓇼 ˖°

🐚 4th house synastry: potential for a strong/solid foundation, they're your comfort place, having a strong desire to live together, moving in together can make the relationship feel more satisfying, fulfilling, or complete. you miss them when they’re not home/around, hate having to say goodbye, long distance could make you both feel miserable or like something is missing. possible separation anxiety. emotional vulnerability, healing, and attachment. taking care of each other. wanting to start a family. this house also creates an environment for a deep connection just like the other houses ruled by water signs.

🐚 if i could communicate with animals i would tell pets to choose owners who have scorpio in the 6th house. these people will loveee their pets to death. their pets would probably be obsessed with them (it would be mutual though) because of the amount of love and attention they would receive from their owners. there’s definitely a strong emotional attachment. but in general, having a water sign in the 6th house indicates a strong emotional connection or bond with pets/animals.

air signs in the 6th house would talk to their pets a lot and they’d be besties lol, they obviously don't speak the same language but they'd understand each other nonetheless. possible animal whisperers here.

earth signs in the 6th house would give their pets the best of the best but i also think this dynamic would bring a mutually grounding effect that could be therapeutic, bringing a sense of calm and peace to the pet and the owner’s life.

fire signs in the 6th house would spoil their pets and they’d have a lot fun doing things together like taking them outdoors and going on adventures. 

🐚 1st house ruler in the 2nd house: the themes of the 1st house includes one’s appearance and the themes of the 2nd house includes one’s physical body and beauty, being that is ruled by venus. while this still applies to libra because it is also ruled by venus and it has the reputation of being beautiful and having physical symmetry, this doesn’t apply to the 7th house, which libra rules, because that house is more related to romance and relationships.

so, since the physical body is part of one’s appearance, if your 1st house is ruled by the 2nd house, not only can this show another layer of your appearance but it can also mean you have a very attractive appearance and body. bonus points if taurus is in the 2nd house since that is the house it rules and it is also ruled by venus.

with that being said, even if you don’t have a libra rising or libra in the 1st house, if it’s in your 2nd house and it rules your first house you may have libra physical traits like freckles or dimples. if aries or leo is in your 2nd house then you may have a lot of hair, red hair (naturally or dyed), or a pronounced face/head. 

the planets in your 2nd house may also have an impact, so if you have mercury there your body may be quite slim. having venus in the 2nd house is also a bonus because again, beauty. jupiter too since it represents blessings so you may be blessed with great looks and this may indicate a thicker or curvier body type as well. i’d also add asteroid aphrodite (1388) as well, being that it represents attraction, & beauty, but planets will have a greater influence. 

lastly, people may like the way you dress and think you have a good sense of style.

^ even if the house that rules your 1st house doesn’t relate to one’s appearance or body, it can still have an influence on your presence. for example, if your 8th house rules your 1st house you probably have sex appeal without even trying to be sexy, people may think you’re secretive, and you might look and feel best when you’re wearing dark colored clothing. but remember, signs matter and can reinforce this or bring out the opposite.

🐚 asteroid juno (3) at a gemini degree (3°, 15°, 27°): can indicate a marriage filled with laughter, lots of conversation, and possibly good communication between you & your spouse, or these are things you desire or must have in a committed romantic partnership.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ𓇼 ˖°

🐚 pluto represents things that are hidden. those with pluto in the 1st house may hide or gatekeep their personality or their true self, so many people don’t know the real them. they’re naturally mysterious with deep layers. 

in the 6th house they may hide any health issues they have or how hard their life may be on a daily basis, the types to feel like they’re on the verge of death but no one would know. 

in the 3rd house they may not be quick to reveal their thoughts or what’s on their mind, they try to think before they speak. reminds me of the person who chooses to sit in the back of the class and doesn’t participate much, but they have profound ideas and also a dark mind. their siblings may also feel like they don’t know them very well even if they grew up together and were raised in the same home. furthermore, your sibling’s friends may be surprised to learn that they have a sister/brother (the person with pluto in the 3rd house), because they’ve never seen or heard of them.

🐚 lilith represents the things we reject. in the 1st house, lilith may reject parts of themselves because they find those parts difficult to accept, they might create a new version of themselves but it’s not really authentic since they’re rejecting their true self. they may reject their personal boundaries and can potentially be a push over or they care too much about what others think. this may result in a lack of self-esteem and confidence. they could reject their appearance and do things to constantly change how they look whether that be dyeing their hair, dressing up in ways that are drastically different, or possibly getting cosmetic surgery.

in the 10th house, lilith may reject commands from their superiors, their boss/supervisor may tell them to do something a certain way but they do it their own way, may have a tendency of disobeying their father or they were rejected by their father. they may reject leadership roles and prefer to work alone. they don’t take the “traditional” path to success and may choose a career that their father is against. they could also reject fame or attention from the general public even though that’s something they naturally attract. 

in the 12th house they may reject their dreams, meaning that they think nothing of them, they’re “just dreams” and have no deeper meaning. they might reject the darker parts of themselves and prefer to focus on the parts that aren’t so dark and heavy. because of this there could be painful experiences that they haven’t healed from because they refuse to pay any attention to them. if they are spiritual, then they may have surface level knowledge and aren’t interested in delving into deeper waters. or they could disregard or hate the reality of life on this planet and so they have a tendency of fantasizing about death, the end of the world, or a different/better world. also, they may not be the most generous or charitable people.

🐚 empty houses: some people might think that the empty houses in their chart are insignificant but they still have relevance in your life because a there’s still a sign that falls into that house and that empty house also has a house ruler. for example, if you have an empty 3rd house with leo or sag there, you may still be one of the popular kids in school even if you have no planets in that house.

and let’s say your 3rd house is ruled by the 7th house (meaning your sun or jupiter is in the 7th house), your popularity may stem from your relationships. you may be known because you’ve dated the popular boy/girl at school or you both are popular making you the popular couple at school. perhaps you’ve had several relationships throughout your school years and maybe you’re that person who is always in a relationship which could create some gossip whether it be for good or bad. or maybe you have a lot of people pursuing you and wanting to date you, perhaps you have multiple people wanting to take you to prom or you might be a sophomore and yet you end up going to prom with a senior.

so, empty houses will still play a role in your life, but it will most likely be less active or less prominent compared to the houses that do have planets.

🐚 the 5th house: this is definitely one of my favorite houses. people with multiple placements in the 5th house typically have so much personality. they’re so fun, a joy to be around, truly a burst of sunshine with vibrant energy and they’re also really talented. definitely the life of the party, bringing everyone together with excitement and entertainment. the type to start dancing with or talking to a stranger or that person standing in the corner, making them feel both welcomed and included. they also have this youthful quality to them, which may be one of the reasons why children love them or get along with them well.

if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

[notglue-9]

About My AU

This is about how 8 souls in Minecraft afterlife,try to live in peace and harmony.

Random facts about world/lore:

• You can’t stay at night for long as your own nightmares and fears will begin to haunt you.

• Catnap has had corruption three times. And each time it gets worse and more painful.

• on a full moon in Cartoon world, Catnap will turn into that same creepy version of himself from his past life.

• Bobby: mother/big sister figure

Bubba: Big bro/Father figure

Kickin: best Bro/best friend

Hoppy: best sister/best friend

Crafty: comfort shy bestie

Picky: the same kind aunt who will feed and take care of you/sibling figure

• Catnap lives with Bobby or Bubba.

The guys built houses for each other while they were in the afterlife. And they built a House for Dogday in advance.

• It hurts Catnap to show other emotions with his mouth, so he always smiles. But in the animation "Overnight" he was so upset that he didn't care about the pain and to show his sadness to Dogday he erased his smile

About Medallions

medallions are their souls.

Catnap collects the negative emotions of other critters. This makes his medallion increase. Although he helps others, it’s worse for him if he collects a lot of negativity within himself. He's in pain and reaaally Sick.💀

Each critter has their own cracks in their medallions. They show their emotional state.

Why is Catnap's medallion different?

it’s just that Catnap is punished for what he did in a past life. He pays back by helping and providing therapy to others there will be a rollback from negativity only if someone helps him. But no one will help him yet. The worse the Catnap medallion stage, the more his voice disappears, his beautiful lullaby voice becomes either mute or creepy.

The reason why Catnap is still cursed with this "therapy" ability. He feels guilty for all his mistakes. And it haunts him. His guilt hits harder than other negative emotions of smiling critters.

Sometimes a big red cloud hangs over him in the shape of his past life. And until he forgives himself and does not help others. He will be forever cursed and suffer

Cracked or Cursed Medallions symptoms

When Catnap is too overwhelmed with negativity. He coughs up Red Smoke.

But it doesn’t affect the others in any way. Although other critters are scared by this smoke. Especially Dogday.

Broken medallions.

These are souls that have not found peace, traumatized, broken. They feel bad mentally.

About ARCS.

Arc 0. - Catnap's Therapy. Pilot lmao

Arc 1. - Eclipse, nightmares and dreams,"I'm sorry"

Arc 2.- Corruption,Hey Dogday,,the groundhog Day,comics about other Critters

Arc 3- (Red crescent arc) - Your face,Camping, Theatre, others in future

Arc 4.- After prank, overnight,Moon's everyday Life.

Arc 1- Everyone hates Catnap. They shun him. Beat him,kick him. Bobby was the first to befriend him.

Arc. 2.Catnap helps them cope with their traumas that have begun to appear and interfere with their lives.

Arc 3.They are all more or less well. Some notice Catnap's strange behavior. Dogday has a hard time accepting Catnap. He already wanted to more or less make the relationship better. But the Red Moon appeared.

Their voices ,Their speaking style

Dogday: The deep voice of a veteran who went through a 100-year war. But sometimes it changes to squeaky if it experiences strong emotions. He remained expressive, but his face is always angry as if it would bite you.

Catnap: Actually he was mute. But he was given a voice in the afterlife. He still can't get used to it. His voice is very gentle, cold and pleasant to the ear, like the Cradle. His voice is also designed for singing.

Bobby: Calming tone, tactile when communicating. Sometimes she makes beautiful speeches. And very chatty. Loves to gossip.

Bubba: Monotonous and calculating Voice. He speaks briefly and clearly. And doesn't gesture at all and he is very passive.

Kickin: He deliberately makes his voice tone rougher to seem cool. He comes up with different slangs and often makes funny gestures. But when he's scared, his voice becomes very squeaky and he chirps like a Chicken.

Hoppy: She has a loud and confident voice, like a fitness club trainer. She will never tire of shouting motivational words at you. She often jumps and runs around you. She doesn't sit still while she chats with you.

Crafty: A gentle and sweet voice, like a princess. She is often distracted and has Daydreaming Syndrome.

Loves fairy tales and everything that is not from reality. She can debate her point of view about creativity

Picky: She has a very fun and playful voice. But sometimes you don’t understand whether she’s happy or ready to roast you in a fire.

A truly charming farmer and chef. Loves the Western theme.

[anticanonsposts]

Early flirting/relationship things

(I'm just thinking out loud)

SFW:

i feel like when you first start to flirt with him he is kind of oblivious

talking to you already makes him so nervous so I think if you were intentionally being flirty he would already be so nervous that he wouldn’t notice

when you two do officially start going out…

he tends to make very prolonged eye contact when talking to you

especially when you guys go on more ‘traditional’ restaurant style dates 

like his eyes would NOT leave you 

defo from the beginning he pays for EVERYTHING 

even when he doesn’t fucking get anything

one time he invited you for coffee and pastries, you got there, and he didn’t order anything…

he said oh no I’m not hungry but like he wasn’t being rude, he wasn’t doing it for any other reason

but he still insisted on paying 

(he really just wanted an excuse to see you and used food) 

idk why but I feel like at the beginning he would be a little cautious about eating around you

i just feel like sometimes with social anxiety, eating in front of people can be more difficult

so i feel like he would eat a more ‘normal’ amount/portion instead of his normal much bigger amount

but his stomach would give him hell so usually after he took you out to lunch or something, on the drive home or wherever you were going next he’d ask if you wanted to stop somewhere for a ‘snack’ 

then he would eat a whole other meal 

he kept doing this until you were ordering at a restaurant once and you just touched his arm and said ‘is that all you want? Get more if you’re hungry babe’ 

and he realized he wasn’t as slick as he thought 

from then on he’s just your human garbage disposal 

any time you have left overs you don’t want, already taken care of 

considering he isn’t from the US (this only applies ig if y’all are living in the US) 

i always see people from the states go on vacation in other places and they lose weight because the food is better quality/better for you/less banned ingredients lol anywhere outside of the U.S.

i think the reverse would happen for König

one thing about him, guy likes to eat

so I think when he first comes here he’s a little overwhelmed by all of the snack/food options and would gain a decent amount of weight 

also regardless of where you guys live/where you are from/your heritage I think he would love learning about your cultural foods and your favorite foods, he would want to try everything 

not food related…

before moving in together, the guy would get so giddy whenever you spent the night with him

especially when you would forget or leave stuff at his house

it would brighten his day when you aren’t there and he sees something of yours, like a body care product, a perfume (which he would defo steal/hide forever), or a piece of clothing

in the most wholesome way possible, he would love being in bed with you 

just being cozy and feeling your body against his 

he would also start sleeping better the more you guys slept together 

i honestly don’t think he’s super picky about cuddle position, as long as you two are wrapped around each other in some way, he doesn’t give a fuck <3

NSFW: MDNI!!!

things that i think definitely happen before you guys’ first time together…

literally googles ‘how to eat pussy’

idk if I headcanon him as a virgin or not, considering I like to write about mid 20s him, more likely??

for sure he doesn’t have much relationship experience, like bullied, then 17 joined the military, not much opportunity there

but sex, maybe he’s had sex before, but either way would be really nervous about pleasing you 

first time together he really wants you to lead the way but honestly

he gets super into it very quickly and just gets obsessed with how you feel

basically devours your face and neck with his mouth 

when he is finally able to pull himself away he eats you out for so fucking long

at least 3 orgasms with is mouth/hands because he is nervous and making you cum makes him less nervous and because let's face it….dude has a third leg

he wants to make sure you are prepped enough that he won’t cause any discomfort 

i think he would be very attentive to facial expressions and body language during sex, so when you looked a little nervous after seeing how big he was he rushed to comfort you but you just said-

‘don’t worry, I’ll make it fit’ which ngl besides the amount of concern he had for you made him even more flustered 

i also think this man is just vocal in general, but ESPECIALLY at the beginning 

partly bc he wanted you to know it felt good but also because it was just so overwhelmingly good 

[silvyavan]

Some of yall ain't ready to hear this (partly because I'm sleep deprived) but Asta is literally disabled in the Canon premise and it IS contextually important.

Asta, being manaless, is literally not able to do many things which in BC universe can be considered basic household skills or if he can, the way he has to do it would culturally be seen as a more roundabout and tiring way of doing it.

Broom Flying is a literal main form of transportation in Clover, similar to a bike and Asta cannot fucking use that. My midget king had to fucken experiment with his sword to turn it into a mobility aid to fly like everyone else. Hell, we get it in the first episode that any form of chore that Asta does "normally" (as per the audience) is something that Yuno can do in quick succession due to his magic. Is magic picky on what you can do with it in terms of household duties? Yeah, but every magic has SOME form of relevance in the household.

Antimagic can't count because its only useful against malicious mages or traps which, all in all, can't really offer a lot of flexibility. Hell, Asta could only figure out how to fly outside of Black form 2 whole ass years after he got his grimoire. And even then, NONE of Asta's swords are creation or healing spells, so Magic Knights technically IS the only place he can utilise his grimoire in.

Communication devices and other mana tools, chores that, by magic standards, need magic to be done efficiently and quickly, even FOOD (Heart Kingdoms coconut water being only sweet if you have high mana).

Even the poorest peasant in the boonies has mana. Asta does Not.

And even if he could get stronger and adapt antimagic to straight up anything, Devil Binding ritual and recent arc in Hino shows us that, physically, there are some limits he can't break. Actual, BIOLOGICAL, burnout and lack of professional tutelage/help reasons.

It also puts a lot of his social/inter-political challenges in a bigger depth and with more nuanced realism.

The nobles refuse to acknowledge him as a possible candidate for being the Wizard King because they see him as physically incapable of holding up the mantle, much less actually being one. The court throws him under the bus because its much easier and comfortable for them to sacrifice one orphan who can't even use mana than to make a massive rift between the population and the military when the kingdom is vulnerable, since they believe they wouldn't be losing anything. Hell, most of the captains don't even acknowledge him as an asset until Asta straight up busts his ass/arms with massive feats.

It also adds more value to his relationship with the Black Bulls and Yuno. Yuno DOES acknowledge Asta as a rival, and a very serious one too. His lack of mana isn't a reason for Yuno to be condescending or dismissive of him.

Black Bulls are also, in some part, similar to him and as such, inspiring them to be better as well (Noelle's mana control difficulties, Finral's spell execution and energy consumption issues, Henry's curse, everyone's literal trauma holding them back).

[ox-imagines]

Dsgjfkk hello, sorry to bother you with my brainrot but I'm so curious. Which tokyo debunker ghouls do you think would be into taller women vs not? I'm 5'8-5'9 and a (chunky and comfortable) Heel Enjoyer, so I typically end up standing around 6', and it's made a couple reallll weird dates lol

Thank you for your ask! I hope I answered it to your satisfaction!

Into it: Alan, Jin, Haru, Zenji, Jiro, Sho

Alan

Really Alan isn’t too picky about his partners visually, and he’s a tall guy who doesn’t mind dating someone who’s also tall. I feel like he’d be the type to equate short=cute and tall=attractive. It also doesn’t hurt to be tall because that means you’re less small and therefore probably not as easy to harm, though regardless he will still treat you as if you’re fragile; it just helps subconsciously loosen his mental block.

Jin

Jin is another one who is tall and wouldn’t mind a tall partner, he’d just prefer you not be taller than him. Even if you are though, he’ll eventually put his reservations about it aside. Fuck society, after all; who cares if people don’t consider it “normal”? If someone has something to say about it, they can say it to his face, and let’s just say it won’t go too well for them if they’re actually bold enough to.

Haru

Ok look. I am pro sub Haru. I think a tall woman would easily have him weak in the knees. He finds it so attractive and too often catches himself thinking about you having him pinned to a wall. He would be a SIMP. Please step on him. If he has to climb you like a tree he will gladly do so. He often acts up and gets cheeky with you as a way of subtly begging you to put him in his place.

Zenji

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Zenji genuinely thinks everyone is beautiful in their own way! I don’t think he’d necessarily want to be with someone taller than him, but luckily he’s over 6 feet tall and usually wears platform sandals, so that won’t be a problem for most people. He otherwise doesn’t mind your height at all and thinks it’s part of what makes you unique! He enjoys waking up next to you because both of you have long limbs and you'll often end up tangled together cuddling.

Jiro

Like his brother, he is quite tall. He doesn’t view people the same way his brother does, but he would also date someone tall, though he wouldn’t care in the least if you happened to be taller than him. He doesn’t care about or think in terms of social norms, so he doesn’t think the height of a potential partner should matter, unless for some reason you’re trying to have children of a certain height. In fact, for Jiro, if you’re taller than average he’d probably take more interest in you because you stand out as compared to other girls he studies.

Sho

This man is another who finds tall women attractive. He’s fairly tall himself and loves the idea of having a tall partner, like the couples in the media who are both tall and hot. It doesn’t at all detriment his ego to be with someone his height or taller, even if Leo makes snide remarks about it. He likes to show off, and for him if you were around his height or taller it would be a point of pride that he was able to bag you since most women seem to like men who are taller than them.

Iffy about it/it depends: Lyca, Kaito, Tohma, Leo

Lyca

Social norms don't affect Lyca. In fact, a bigger mate might be beneficial because size usually equals strength, right? That being said, though, it might take a while to get to the point of being with him because girls make him nervous, and you being tall would make you seem a little more intimidating to him.

Kaito

Surface level, Kaito is very subscribed to what other people think and what the media says is cool and right. He's not actively into tall girls, especially since he's not very tall himself. However, if you start giving him attention, it won't take much to get him thinking about you and he'll quickly become more like Haru, practically begging for you to do whatever you want to him.

Tohma

Tohma doesn't really have too much of a preference either way. He'd prefer you to be at least a tiny bit shorter than him, but otherwise, he doesn't think it's much of a sensible concern. Height isn't a trait that makes someone a good partner.

Leo

Leo would prefer for a female partner to be shorter than him in most occasions. He thinks it's a better aesthetic, plus he could tease her about being short and put his arm on her head like an armrest. But just maybe you could convince him to date a tall girl. He's cuddly, so if you let him cuddle into your side and put your arms around him he'll enjoy it. Also if he gives it some thought, he might decide it would actually be beneficial to date a tall girl. It's outside the norm, so it would inevitably get people talking, and any attention is good attention in Leo's opinion.

Doesn't like it: Towa, Romeo

The only two I can imagine just not liking it are Towa and Romeo, and even they could be convinced if you can get past their initial distaste.

Towa

Towa wouldn't like the idea of a girl taller than him. It doesn't fit into his traditional understanding of romance, and he likes when girls seem small and weaker as compared to him, he thinks it's cute. He's an affectionate person, so if you can convince him to like you as a friend first it could go somewhere anyway despite him initially not seeing you as "suitable".

Romeo

Romeo is a bit too shallow and a bit too invested in appearances and societal expectations to even consider dating a woman his height or taller. If you somehow manage to endear yourself to him, you may be able to change his mind, but it'll take a lot of time and effort, so good luck.

[magniloquent-raven]

I am once again plagued with thoughts that aren't 100% coherent so imma just ramble for a bit, pls gather 'round for some stuff about Billy and body image issues cuz I'm in my feels rn.

Billy spends a lot of time staring at Nancy.

Enough that Tommy's noticed and he starts ribbing him about it. "That's one thing of Steve's you might want to stay away from," bitter and pointed. Enough that Jonathan Byers gives him the stink eye whenever he's within glaring distance. Enough that a handful of the more desperate chicks still high off the fumes of his New Kid smell have started dressing like fucking librarians in hopes of catching his eye.

He doesn't give a shit about any of it, if anything the rumour mill is helping him out for once. Less work involved in keeping up appearances if everyone just assumes he isn't sleeping around because he's too busy sniffing Wheeler's granny panties.

As long as no one guesses the real reason, it's fine. It's fucking peachy. It's one silver lining in this shitstorm of a situation.

He's so tired of his eyes inevitably being drawn to her barely-there tits and tiny waist. Every time he's bored at lunch, his gaze wanders. When he's in the library pretending to study, there she fucking is, even smaller when she's hunched over a pile of cue cards.

The longer he looks at her the more sure he is that Steve will never really want him.

Steve's slept with plenty of girls. A variety of girls. He probably couldn't afford to be too picky in this shitty little town. But he's only fallen in love once. One time. The only time it mattered what he was sticking his dick in was when it was in Nancy Wheeler.

And Billy...will never be her. Not even close.

He'll only ever be a warm mouth and a convenient hand, he'll never matter.

She's flat, and thin. Willowy, narrow-shouldered. Petite. Inches shorter than him and nearly half as broad. Thin fingers and delicate wrists. She fit comfortably under Steve's arm, she could nestle safely into his side.

And it was all so fucking easy for her. She never had to try.

She never had to piss off her dad so she'd be forced to skip meals. She never did laps around her neighbourhood until she was lightheaded and doubled over, dry-heaving in someone's hedge. She was never forced to sign up for baseball as a child, poked and prodded and guilted into it because a couple shirts were starting to get tight across the stomach, and being a momma's boy was bad enough, being a fat, lazy piece of shit too was unacceptable.

He used to think he'd done well, maintaining the physique he has. He's worked hard for it. Scraping together his savings for a weight set and keeping careful track of his calorie intake and never skipping a single fucking day of exercise, hangovers and broken bones be damned. And it's fucking useful, truth be told. More than keeping away the echo of old insults bouncing around in his head, it's made flirting that much easier.

But the more he looks at Nancy Wheeler, the more he hates the things he can't change. It gets into his head. Digs in deep, leaving scars on its way down.

He thinks Steve might've noticed.

He knows Steve has heard the stupid rumours about Wheeler, and probably chalked it up to Billy being an asshole, as usual. But it's harder to explain away his sudden tendency to go extremely still whenever Steve puts his hands anywhere on his torso. A palm pressed to his chest, slipped under his shirt, or fingertips digging into his back, or a casual fucking pat on the shoulder—whatever it is, he can't help freezing up, if only for a second, a sick feeling twisting his stomach, cold and shameful and clawing at his lungs.

And then, eventually, they argue.

It's over nothing. And everything. Billy can't explain what his fucking damage is, and Steve can't stop needling in the wrong places. They scream at each other until their throats are raw and Billy leaves when his knuckles start to itch.

He cries all the way home and doesn't eat for four days. Not on purpose. Not consciously. He's just. Fucking. Busy. He's busy. He's always gotta drive Max somewhere or dodge Neil's thinly veiled threats or lock himself in his room when bile starts to bubble up in the back of his throat and his head pounds and he doesn't think about why he's snapping at everyone constantly, he just pounds back a couple beers and goes to sleep. And then it's four days later, and he's flying off the handle at Neil, too sluggish and lightheaded to see the hit coming, and...

Steve comes to see him at the hospital. He hasn't told anyone anything but they've got him hooked up to a banana bag and the nurses keep making sad eyes at him when they come to check his stitches.

He hates it, sitting around doing nothing, being closely monitored every fucking second, it make his skin crawl, and he hates it even more when Steve's standing in the doorway looking at him.

Not for the first time, he's overwhelmed wondering what exactly Steve sees.

He's a fucking mess right now. Greasy hair tangled at the back, bruises peeking out from under the collar of his gross papery hospital gown, one eye swollen shut and a dark tangle of thread holding his eyebrow together. It feels stupid to get stressed about all the shit that usually bothers him when there's so many other things to worry about, but he still finds himself shifting in place, hunching his shoulders, hiding his hands in the crooks of his elbows.

It's sort of a disaster. Worse than last time they saw each other. Billy's not in the mood for Steve's apologies and Steve's at a loss for what else to say.

They don't see each other again for months. Steve graduates. Billy avoids anywhere he thinks Steve might be, and lies awake at night haunted by stolen touches.

He catches a glimpse of Steve through the red haze of storm clouds and cold lightning, tears blurring his vision, the Mind Flayer wearing him like a suit. Their cars collide, and everything whites out for a second.

He's in the hospital again when they finally talk. Billy rolls his eyes at "We've gotta stop meeting like this," and tries not to think about last time he was here. Steve seems more than willing to ignore it. Move forward. Guess demonic possession puts some things into a different perspective.

When Billy's released from the hospital he's seventeen pounds heavier than he was a few months ago. Every time the nurses did their check-ups and put him on the scale they'd pat his elbow, smiling encouragingly, telling him how good he was doing while he watched his stomach get softer, his biceps get less defined, watched himself disappear beneath a layer of fat.

The first thing he does when he gets home is throw up.

He doesn't make it happen. It just happens. And he blames it on the meds they have him on. It's a plausible enough reason, and it means he doesn't have to interrogate the tiny spark of satisfaction he got from losing his lunch.

His second day back home Neil asks him when he's going to start exercising again. His expression is pinched. Cold. His eyes are ice chips freezing Billy's skin wherever they touch, lingering on the softness under his chin, and where the hem of his sleeve pinches his skin.

He pushes his dinner away and grits out an answer from between clenched teeth.

He doesn't need the reminder that he's gotten weak while he was trapped in a hospital bed, but Neil gives it to him anyways. Tells him all about everything he should do to get things back to normal. Push past the pain. Work harder. He tunes it out after a while, and watches grease congeal on his meatloaf.

Eddie Munson is the first person to bring up the things Billy's never known how to talk about.

They started hanging out after Billy's most recent brush with death. Billy's not sure exactly how the got here, from buying the occasional painkiller and letting the guy wax poetic about his dumb band, to spending weekends getting high together at the trailer park. But as weird things in his life go, it's barely worth questioning.

This particular conversation starts with Chrissy Cunningham.

Specifically, Eddie's massive boner for her.

Billy's been noticing it for a while. He hasn't been letting it bother him.

He hasn't.

Maybe he likes the way Eddie smiles at him when they pass a joint back and forth, lazily stretched out and wearing three less layers than usual, and maybe he thinks about closing the distance between them when Eddie offers to shotgun, but it doesn't fucking matter. Just like it doesn't matter that Steve hasn't touched him since before the Mind Flayer and things are fucking weird now that they're on speaking terms again. None of it matters, he's just a fucking idiot.

Because Steve and his new best friend Robin are attached at the hip lately and everyone can see where that's going, and Eddie won't stop talking about tiny, pretty, perfect fucking Chrissy and her stupid ponytail.

And Billy...Billy gets winded walking up the porch steps at his house now. And he pulled a muscle in his back trying to lift half the weight he used to press. And last week he burned three pairs of jeans in the backyard because he kept grabbing them out of his laundry pile, not realizing they don't fit anymore until he was struggling to pull them up past his knees.

He's lost the one thing people used to actually like about him. Never the people he wanted, he was never enough for that, but it was something. Now he's just...

Now he's just listening to a guy he likes talk about some goddamn cheerleader like she personally hung the moon just for him.

And he's drunk. They're both drunk. Eddie in a soppy, embarrassing way, with a sparkle in his eye and a flush on his cheeks, an arm across the back of the couch, outstretched far enough that the tips of his fingers almost brush Billy's shoulder.

He wants to move closer. Thinks about shuffling into Eddie's space, curling into the warmth at his side. But it twists in his guts, sours, sickens—he couldn't, he can't. And he hates himself for wanting to.

"What do you see in her?" spills out of his mouth, bitter on his tongue and sharpened by anger he has no right to feel.

She's pretty. He expects it. She's pretty, she's perfect. She's a fucking angel even though her and Eddie only know each other because she buys drugs off of him. But she can do no wrong because she looks like a little china doll with sad eyes and everyone would be devastated if a single hair on her tiny delicate head was harmed.

Eddie only looks thrown off for a second. A moment. But he shrugs it off, leans his head back against the couch cushions and grins at the ceiling. "She likes my music."

Since fucking when.

"So, what, it's just an ego stroking thing then."

"Nah, man. I mean. Like. She's got this whole good-girl thing going on, but you should see her when I pull out my guitar, it's fuckin'...magic. When she lets herself just. Live." He wiggles his fingers in the air, arms spread, then drops them back down.

Billy's heart clenches, squeezes. It hurts and he doesn't know why. "Bullshit."

"Nah, nah. Seriously. The guy she's dating is a fucking asshole. And her mom..." he trails off, and rubs his eye. "She's just got all this pressure to be perfect, act a certain way, look a certain way, be a certain way, and I hate seeing what it does to her, man. I hate it. No one should have to deal with all that. So. I dunno. I like helping her cut loose. Sorta, find herself, I guess." He cracks a crooked smile, casting a glance in Billy's direction.

And his smile drops.

"Billy?" He sits up, cautious, eyebrows up and his eyes wide.

Billy turns away, shocked into motion, wiping at his face with his sleeve. "I'm fine. Fuck off."

He didn't notice he was crying until Eddie looked at him like he'd seen a ghost.

"Yeah, obviously."

"Fuck you."

Eddie doesn't get much more out of him that night. But he starts watching Billy like a hawk after that. Checking in on him at random. Calling if they haven't seen each other in a few days. It should be irritating as fuck, and he acts like it is, but he still basks in the attention.

Doesn't hurt that it seems to annoy Steve to no end.

Especially doesn't hurt when, in a fit of apparent jealousy, Steve shoves Billy into a wall and kisses him like his life depends on it.

The hurt comes when Steve starts to unbutton Billy's shirt and Billy reflexively shoves him away, when he wants to keep going but wants it to stop and can't tell Steve either of those things because he doesn't have the words.

So he gets angry. At Steve, for pushing it, crossing lines he can't even see. But mostly at himself, because it might be easier than standing there heartbroken but he knows it's the worst thing he could do.

And at Steve, again, when the he doesn't respond the way he should. Doesn't punish Billy for doing the wrong thing, reacting wrong, being wrong. He doesn't withdraw and save himself, he tries to understand, tries to talk it out, like this is something Billy can just say out loud and it'll all be fixed.

He doesn't explain. Not that day. But he lets Steve hold him while he cries, ugly gasping sobs into the front of Steve's shirt, curled up in his lap, collapsed on the floor and tangled together. Because despite everything he's told himself, he does fit comfortably in Steve's arms.

💜tag list ppl💜 @spreckle @growup-thatbeautiful @prettyboy-like-you @suddenlyinlove

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ tags ; gn reader + he carries you

"Izuku," Your voice comes out in a warbly, drawn out complaint as you take your shoes off and barrel into your front door "I'm tired."

You can hear your boyfriend before you see him. He's too big now. Taller than he should've ever been with that kind of strength - some kind of freakish mutation from his quirk. Either way he's a head taller than you now, and his voice is rumbly.

And when he walks, you can hear him before your eyes even blink open. He can hide his footsteps well enough too, and sometimes he does when he wants you to remain asleep as he slips in from work.

He's being noisy, present, on purpose as he traverses into the hall. He has to duck not to hit his head as he greets you at the door. A soft, warm t-shirt is stretched over his chest. It's a dorky All-Might shirt and it clashes with his ugly plaid PJ bottoms.

You think to yourself, a little begrudgingly, that you love him so much. He smiles at you as he stares. World number one hero and he's looking at you like he believes how tired you are. He kisses your forehead, chapped lips at your hairline and takes your bag without asking.

"My poor baby," He replies, though it's cheeky "Long day?"

You huff.

"Yeah. The worst. Class was fine, but work was awful. Basically ate shit over someone else's mistake."

"Is it the same guy as before? The one who's always fucking up the orders in the kitchen?"

"Yes!" You say, throwing your hands up in exasperation. He comes up to you know, and you have to crane your neck up just to look at him. All emerald green eyes and fluffy hair, arms wrapped around your waist. You bury your face in his chest "I'm upset."

"I know," He coos, gentle as he pats your back "I'm sorry."

You feel yourself fumble. You love him. You wrap your arms around him back and squeeze tight.

"Sorry for the silly complaint." You mutter. He leans down to kiss the top of your head.

"It's not silly to me. But it's okay, even if it was."

He's so big now. You can't help but think that. You look up at him wide-eyed and you wonder if he can read your mind. It doesn't take a hair of effort to carry you in his arms, your legs around his waist. You squeal a little at how fast he does it, and he laughs. You feel yourself supported in his arms and lean back.

"I love you," You murmur. And he beams, like you haven't had this conversation before so many time. He nuzzles his nose against yours so lovesick it makes you want to cry. He always makes you want to cry. Something about him makes you feel spoiled so rotten you can hardly bring yourself to do more than stand on your two feet.

And right now, you can't even bring yourself to do that.

You feel yourself wrapped up in his warmth and find yourself drifting. Less cranky then you were a minute ago, certainly. Izuku lets you rest. He's careful to carry you silently without saying a words, just holding you with his thumb drawn across your thigh.

"D'you want anything specific for dinner?" He asks, carrying you all the way into the kitchen and not letting go as you cling to him. You feel like a koala, shaking your head contented. He's opening the fridge if you're ears don't deceive you.

"Whatever you want. Not feeling picky today."

"I love you," You repeat, not for any reason in particular. He hums.

"I love you too. It's okay if you want to sleep like this for a bit."

You want to cry. You love him so much you can't stand it. You feel your voice waver.

"Won't you get tired?"

"...Do you think I'm getting weak??" He asks, distressed. And you laugh as you let yourself get comfortable.

"No," You reply, secure and safe and at ease "Not at all."

[yesimwriting]

Hi, I'm kind of picky of FF in general, smut especially, but your "Pulling away" is just beyond perfect. Do you maybe have time and the enthusiasm to write something like that again? Not sure what other characters you'd write for (out of your master list) but another Joel would be great anyway. Thank you for your work!

A/n ahh thank you!! the feedback i've gotten on "Pulling Away" has been unbelievable,, and i very rarely usually write smut without being prompted to lol, i feel like it's too obvious that i'm a virgin who has had very few sexual experiences, even less if you don't count the ones i didn't fully consent to,, but that's neither here nor there, i'm doing better now i promise :)

also ik my masterlist is super limited compared to who i actually write for lol,, updating it is my absolute enemy but i'm working on it 😭

also the build up in this fic is criminal!! that's my bad!

Summary: You, Ellie, and Joel have recently decided to permanently settle in Jackson. The promise of stability seems to lead to boundaries adjusting during a sleepless night after Joel appears in your bedroom.

smut warning, 18 plus !!

----

It's existed in him as undeniably and permanently as the lines etched into the slightly calloused skin of the back of his palm. Control is something that Joel Miller knows, something he clings to the same way he keeps a gun in his hand when he needs to.

Control is what keeps him from reacting when your arm moves too carelessly and your elbow manages to push against his ribs. The side that you know is more yellow-purple than the soft tan it should be. If you weren't lying next to him, you would have assumed that the shift of your arm had no affect on him. But you're pressed closer to him than you've ever been, so you can feel the shift despite his intentions. It's subtle. A pinch in his breathing and a brief wave of tension in his spine.

"Sorry," your blurt out is instinctual, and you're not sure if it might be making things worse. You've never been this close to him and it burns so much you can practically feel it melting the thin ice holding the two of you above water.

Burns in a good way. A way that you've only ever felt through brief flutters that have come up more and more recently. Lingering touches patching up injuries, reassuring squeezes of hands that are always brief and never mentioned, the press of Joel's knee against yours as you sat at that table in Jackson, overwhelmed by the presence of so many strangers.

And now this. You, Joel, and Ellie had been given a place to stay. You used to dream about your own bed. A safe roof over your head and a clean blanket keeping you warm. Finally getting it left you restless. Being away from Joel and Ellie felt unnatural even if they were in the same building as you. There are so many strangers here, and even though they have no reason to strike you down, it's still weird.

You couldn't help the obsessive thoughts. It felt oddly compulsive, the urge to wrap the two of them up in warm blankets and bubble wrap and just watch them be okay. It's weird, but what can you say, Ellie and Joel are your people.

And then Joel wandered in after some talk with his brother. It had surprised you, considering the way he had avoided you earlier, but you'd never complain about having him close.

You're still not sure how it happened. How Joel started asking you about how you were settling and telling you that Ellie was just fine. He had gone in to check up on her and then lingered until she fell asleep. The thought of that domestic moment made your heart swell and you found yourself relaxing.

Somehow Joel ended up taking some of your covers. There's a draft, it's winter. You forced yourself to not focus on that in any other context. Refused to give it any other meaning. And then he moved closer, eventually laid his head on your pillow. You almost convinced yourself it was just a way to be a little comfortable while keeping up conversation. But then the talk eventually faded and you had to move to let him fit and you ended up like this. Safe and fragile.

This stray from what's normal is okay tonight. Everything is still weird, you three like awkward, feral cats compared to the people of Jackson.

"You're fine," he breathes, voice rough with sleep.

His acceptance is easy but it does nothing to make you less aware of your position. You're more on top of him than you need to be and your mind is suddenly scrambling, trying to remember every injury you've ever seen him receive.

Untangling yourself from the gentle cocoon you've created is an ache in your chest, but the thought of hurting him is worse. You move your leg close to the edge of the bed and start the careful process of retracting your arm.

Joel shifts with a slight sigh, his own hand following your own. He snags your wrist, pulling you back into place. "You're fine." Joel repeats his earlier words, so half thought out and mumbled together you think they might even be sleep idled.

"Careful," you try, fighting against the blood rushing to your face. "I don't want to hurt you."

Joel's hand moves down your forearm with a slowness that almost feels deliberate. You have to press your lips together to keep from exhaling too sharply. He turns his head and even in the dark you can feel the focus of his gaze.

He swallows once, lips parting for a moment before he speaks, "Hurts more the other way." It's vulnerable and not, undercut by something that feels so factual you briefly have to think about whether or not that's physically possible. "It's good pressure."

Your eyebrows draw together at the realization that he's not entirely joking. The audacity. He's always referencing his age and the soreness that's going to have to catch him at one point or another but now there's not a single concern for his joints or potential hip damage. You've always had a feeling that at least a part of that rant has to be bullshit, or at least some kind of exaggeration.

You scoff but make no move to pull away as Joel settles. "I don't believe you." Normally you wouldn't state anything so transparently. Any flash of softness is glass and barely tangible. Trying to grasp it by speaking about in the open makes it vanish. Like waking too suddenly from an incomplete dream. But you don't feel at risk, something about the dark and the warmth and his hand on your forearm. "You're so full of shit--what happened to old man knees and arthritis and hip joint iss-"

"You're making up those last two."

There's silence for a brief moment and then laughter. A stupid burst of giggles that has you forgetting the little bit of normal left. Your forehead briefly falls down, your face pressing against his shoulder as you try to keep it down. He laughs with you after a second, a reluctant, almost annoyed display of amusement.

You're still recovering, breathing a little heavier than usual and coming back enough to realize that this level of closeness may be pushing it. You lift your head just as Joel's hand finds a place between your shoulders. First a fist and then his fingers patiently relaxing. You don't think you've ever been this still in your life.

"I can't keep track of all your old man ailments," it's a whisper that's more against his skin than not.

He lets out a breath, "You needed me to help you onto a horse today."

You halfheartedly glare even though you're too pressed into him for him to be able to see you. "I could do it by myself now." Likely a lie, considering it had only taken a second with Joel's help and the concept of casual horse riding still feels foreign. "I just hadn't ridden one before."

His hand shifts up your back, an unbelieving hum escaping him. Has Joel always been this warm? And somehow both so evidently sturdy but still comfortable? Safe? You don't know what possesses you, maybe it's the urge to not feel so divided from him in any way, but you turn head slightly to make it easier to speak: "You're not actually that old."

He pauses at that, fingertips freezing against the fabric of your pajama shirt. "Older than you."

You let out a sigh, feeling like there's a hint of something else tucked into his words that you're too tired to explore. "So?" He lets out another flat breath, a sound you don't quite understand but makes you want to compensate, "You can get old, though, when it's your time."

He shifts in a way that feels like a combination of stifling a laugh and a display of a touch of reluctant curiosity. "You givin' me permission?"

"Not like that," you shake your head against his arm, "I just--I don't know--I think it'd be good if you got to be old with arthritis and bad hip joints and whatever else happens. It'd mean you were still alive."

You don't realize what you're saying until the words slip out. The blankness of your statement is too honest and you blame the fact that you're actually starting to feel like you could benefit from the sleep you've been putting off. It's instinctual to turn into him in a vain attempt to get closer even though you're already hanging onto him in a way that feels ridiculous. Your fingers curl in to him a little more, clutching at the surprisingly soft fabric of his shirt.

It's a subtle change, but you're not surprised that Joel notices. You are, however, not expecting him to understand. The hand on your back draws up even further, pushing you against him more firmly. Maybe Joel did have a point. Good pressure.

"Don't go thinkin' about it."

For once, you want to listen to him without putting up a fight just to see that line between his forehead reappear. But you can't. It's not that easy. Even here, as safe as it's ever going to get, there's still a chance of loss. And even if the world was perfect and Joel could guarantee that there would never be a dangerous patrol or anything threatening him again, there are still other things that worry you. There's no reason for you all to stay together.

When your only response is to halfheartedly nod so that he can feel the motion, Joel lets out a partial sigh. The movement of his chest is more noticeable than the sound. His hand travels down the expanse of your back, something you only recognize because of the warmth his touch leaves in its wake. You're only half there until his fingers brush against a small expanse of exposed skin where your sleep shirt had ridden up. Nothing insanely suggestive, nothing that should be considered too intimate. It's likely an accident, too. It's too dark for it to be intentional.

Knowing this is not enough to keep your body from tensing. Joel's fingers move upwards with no warning, slipping between the only layer dividing you. The cotton of the T-shirt is trapping him and the heat of his touch as his hand settles on your hip.

"You here?" His question is low, like he's trying to compensate for the hint of worry leaching into his tone. "With me?" The second part of the question is an afterthought, said so quickly and earnestly it feels like an impulse.

You're melting, and you don't mind it all. In fact, you're starting to think you might prefer it. "For now, at least."

It's half joke, half something else. A punch that some cynical, over worrying part of your brain needs to throw. You hope he won't see past the shell of humor, but feel the uphill battle in his silence. In the eventual drag of his thumb across the curve of your hip. The gesture is a contradiction in itself--small and cautious yet so natural. What should feel foreign is so familiar it coats it all in a layer of intimacy that's difficult to just sit with.

An odd sense of almost panic that makes it impossible to think settles in you. Something in you feels like it's burning, a slow fire that's patiently spreading. You don't know if you want him closer or farther or something in between.

The mix of unknown emotions is enough to distract you from your derailing train of thought. Maybe that's the point. Some strategy on Joel's end to force a mental reset. If it is, it's working. You wouldn't say you're breathing any better or more calmly, you're just more aware of the way air enters your lungs and filters right back out. The world seems to be reduced to that. Just your breathing. And Joel.

The little of him you can make out in the dark and the feel of him everywhere without him feeling close enough. He's steady, secure in his firmness like he's some immovable force. Joel is also starting to feel like a natural heater, radiating just enough warmth to make everything comfortable.

What is wrong with you today? These thoughts might be more dangerous than the other ones. They're definitely close to being more overwhelming. All of this has to be in your head, the result of all the feelings you've been attempting quell all day culminating and a touch of something else. The thoughts about Joel that you've been fighting against since you first met him finally winning.

Every time you've forced yourself to stare at your hands after the edge of Joel's shirt rode up as he reached for something or moved a certain way. Every stray thought that rooted itself in your mind like an invasive species while you patched him up after a rough day. Every painfully overwhelming moment where you let yourself get distracted by his hands for reasons you could never justify. Those same hands are on you right now.

Okay--you need to get it together. Stop playing at something that's definitely all in your head. Your eyes drift up, searching for Joel's expression in an attempt to convince yourself to be normal. To remind yourself what's at risk if you don't get what you've been begging yourself not to let be actual romantic feelings in check.

He's already looking at you, eyes focused and jaw so tense you can tell from your position. Joel presses his lips together. The hand that's on you shifts upwards. Nothing drastic, but the heat of his pinky is now melting into the skin above your ribs.

You have to bite your tongue to keep from letting a shaky breath escape you. It's too much and nowhere near enough. It's another contradiction that throws you through a loop. You need him closer and the desire twists at you even further. There's a level of hesitant care in all levels of him. In his touch, in the way he's watching you. Like he just can't help it.

It's so overwhelming you have to do something. So you do the only thing you can think of. You reach out to him. Your hand finds his upper forearm.

The motion seems to shift things. Joel lets out a breath, but it's not the easygoing sound it was earlier. It's strained. "Y'should get some sleep."

You're not all that tired anymore, but his tone and your own confusion makes you want to listen. At least he hasn't done anything to imply that he's leaving.

A part of you wants to leave it at what it is. There's no reason to risk his presence by pushing. You don't know what that last moment was about, but Joel's earlier gruffness from today seems to be coming back. "You okay?" The question feels awkward hanging there on its own. "You've been moody."

The hand still under your shirt adjusts with him. "Moody?"

"Mhm." His fingers ghost up your spine, making it twice as hard to organize your thoughts. "More earlier than now, when..." God, you can barely remember with the way he's tracing patterns onto your skin. "When we were with that group?"

Joel's lips briefly pull into a frown. "I know that Jackson people are a little different than us, but trusting them all so soon--" He cuts himself off briefly. "Just don't think it's a good idea for you to accept it all so--"

He pauses as you shift against him as you move to sit up. Joel watches the separation with sharp caution. He doesn't ease until you settle again, your chin resting against his stomach. "Seriously?" It's a lighthearted enough disagreement. "I'm not overly trusting anything. I feel like a crazy person half the time because I feel like I should be staring down anyone that talks to Ellie or you for a second too long."

The confession eases Joel much more than it should. It's proof that he's been searching for...proof that he's needed. That you're still here. Still his and Ellie's above anything else.

But it's been an unsure couple of days. You're good with people, likable in a natural way. You know how to make people feel easy. It's not your fault that you're the natural communicator in the trio, and it's a good thing that at least one of you is inclined towards that sort of thing. It's just been harder than he thought, to watch people always talk to you, even if it's just a way of communicating something to all three of you. Especially when you smile or laugh as another way to ease them.

It's even worse when it happens to be other men. You don't see it, the way their eyes linger or their tendency to lean in just a little too close. Don't know the way your polite smiles and words draw them in. There isn't exactly a plethora of new women appearing daily, so your novelty is only an amplifier to all your good traits.

Tommy's been giving him shit about it. How long did you have to close the deal on that when you were her only option?

It was an almost brotherly form of teasing, but it still rubbed Joel the wrong way because of how true it is. He can't justify the bitter, protective vile that leaves his chest feeling too tight when he sees how well you fit. How easy it'd be for you to end up with one of the guys from here, closer to your age and a lifetime less of baggage.

Joel hates the breathlessness of it, hates that he has time to think about these kinds of things now. The resentment is too much, bubbles up and comes out in the form of something mean, "Doesn't always look that way."

It's not an overly done insult, and somehow that's worth. Joel's faint accusation is personal and it lands the way he knew it would. You sit up so quickly, Joel can't even try to stop you. "What the fuck does that mean?"

The bed is small, clearly meant for one. Sitting up didn't exactly accomplish what Joel has to assume was your goal--to create distance. You're still tangled together, only it's different now. You're practically sitting on his lap. His mind, which should be focusing on the fact that he's upset you, that he's pushing you in the exact direction he doesn't want you to go in, can only think of your sleep shorts.

Maria promised to get you some pajama pants as soon as some came in, but that hasn't happened yet. Winter makes clothing a little scarce, so you've been managing in a pair of elastic shorts. Thin, elastic shorts.

"Just that it looks like you've been getting comfortable. Trusting others, spending time with Ben."

Your lips pull into a firm pout. "I'm not going out of my way to trust shit. Yeah, I talk to a lot of people, but that's just because I rather that than have them talk to you or Ellie first. It--it feels safer that way."

There's such a genuineness in that, Joel almost feels bad, almost feels the need to back step. But your indignation at the implication that you're trying to leave is too alleviating. Until you try to crawl towards the edge of the bed. Away from him.

Joel props himself up on his elbow and reaches for you. His hand finding your forearm feels like giving something up. A silent, too raw plea for you not to go. He knows it isn't quite that in so many words, but you understand. You always do in your talent for feeling the way he bends for you when he can.

For a moment, that's it. Just his hand on your arm, still perched on the edge of the bed, still flighty. One move and you might be gone. It'd be so easy.

Joel's never really considered himself a pissing on his territory type of person or one to be found of dependents, but he'd be lying if he didn't say Jackson didn't worry him. He's not an idiot, he knows he's been rough to travel with and that he's taken time to get to here, but you've always stayed close. Some of that must have been influenced by survival.

Not that Joel wants you to stick around because you have no other choice. He'd never use that against you, it's just something that he wonders about from time to time. A fear that this might be how he finds out that's the only reason the two of you have been together for so long.

He's been thinking about loss more lately. After the decision he made, after what almost happened to Ellie. Losing Sarah left him stagnant for 20 years and some days that grief still flares up and makes breathing feel impossible. It's a wound that will never fully heal, and maybe that's for the best. Hurt means not forgetting, but Joel knows he doesn't have anymore of that left in him.

What if he did just fuck everything up? Not just for him, but for Ellie as well. He sees the way she looks at you, like you're everything. He's peered into your mornings together, the world that is your little routine and your inside jokes. If he messed all of that up because he only knows how to be an asshole when any type of feeling comes up...

Joel knows action better than he knows words. Caring is easier an action, and so is apology. His hand releases your forearm, trailing down your arm and settling on your exposed thigh. When you don't push him away or try to move, Joel feels like he can fully inhale again.

"You know my priorities, right?" Your voice sounds more hesitant than before. Nervous. "It's you and Ellie. It's been you and Ellie and nothing's going to change that. It doesn't matter if we're here for two more days or two more decades."

A pinch of guilt rises in his chest. Normally that level of promise would make him feel the need to cut all ties. Safer that way. But Joel doesn't want to hold you at arm's length, not right now. Carefully, his hand moves forward, closer to your inner thigh than knee.

He should say something. Admit to his own insecurity or apologize. "I know," is all that comes out, even though it doesn't really matter, you have every right to walk away. Your eyes still soften, though, like he managed to come close to saying what you needed to hear. "I shouldn't have said that."

His hand moves up even further and this time you have to react, your breath catching itself on your throat. The noise fucking gets to him. Gets to him in a way nothing has in a minute.

"You're kind of an asshole, sometimes," it's breathed out in a way that feels like you're accepting his apology, "And it's only going to get worse as you settle into your old age."

There it is. The joke was forced through the uneven timbre of your breathing, but it's there. All you, all forgiveness in the way the corner of your mouth turns upwards.

Joel's thumb drags across the soft skin of your inner thigh, "So now I'm already there?"

You blink, unsure on how to react to anything with his hand tenderly working the skin of your inner thigh. Everything in you is only capable of focusing on the feeling, of chasing it. "Getting there." Joel's thumb and pointer finger briefly pinch at your skin in a way that has to be intentional, right? His touch is approaching the end of your shorts.

The closer he gets, the worse the distance feels. Your face feels like it's burning at the thought. This is Joel, not some random guy that things could be casual with. Or maybe he could be casual, but you--god, you're getting ahead of yourself. This isn't--it--

"Too old?" Joel stretches forward, sitting up a little more. "You lookin' for younger like Ben?"

There's something odd in his tone. A flat attempt at humor that misses because it's too straightforward. Ben. Again. This is the second time his name's come up tonight. Why? And that's not even the strangest part. His assumption is what sticks out the most.

"I'm not..." Fuck, his hands are killing you. "I'm not looking. Not actively and if I..." Okay, it's officially too much, he's turning you into a transparent puddle. His hand pauses and pulls back down, settling on your knee. Firmly. Unbudging in a silent demand to continue.

He traces circles onto your knee with his thumb. "You can say it," he encourages in a way that feels like he's patronizing you.

The words feel like too much. Some lines might have been crossed today, but nothing life changing. You two could still dismiss the whole thing, crawl beneath thin sheets, fall asleep, and wake up the next morning like nothing ever happened. But his hands on your thigh and the needy ache you're not sure you fully understand it left you with. And what it felt like to have him closer.

Joel's sitting up fully now, waiting. "If I was looking, it wouldn't be at Ben, it'd be..." His hand calmly trails back to its previous spot on your leg with each of your words. Fuck, you're struggling to think again. "At you."

At that, his fingers push upwards, touching directly between your legs. "Really?" He's quick to create a steady rhythm, pulsing his pointer and middle finger at a speed that makes it impossible to breath. Your eyes screw shut so tightly you see stars. "You're so wet, can feel it through those shorts of yours."

The way Joel's voice catches on itself makes a weak sound slip out. You'd be embarrassed by it if he gave you the chance to be, but before you can even think twice about it, Joel's free hand finds the back of his head. His fingers tangle into your hair and he pulls you forward so harshly you try to gasp. The sound doesn't make it out, Joel's mouth is on yours before it has a chance.

He holds you against him as he takes his time pulling on your bottom lip with his teeth and letting his tongue glide over the bites. Your mouth opens for him instinctually, asking for more.

Joel's taking his time and moving at a speed that has him everywhere all at once as his fingers continue to work you through the fabric that divides you. He releases you with no warning, the hand at the back of your head finding a new place right beneath your chin. His fingers pause, forcing out an instinctual whine.

He's panting near your ear in a way that makes you miss his touch even more. "So this is all for me, sweetheart?" His eyes flit from your face back down to your lips.

Even though the question is dripping with roughness, there still manages to be a hint of something else there. Something genuine. It doesn't matter, though, because all you have the willpower to do is nod. Joel turns his head, pressing a kiss to your temple that's so close to tender it leaves you spinning. He trails the barely there kisses down to your ear before whispering, "Then prove it."

The word's send a jolt through you. "Prove it?"

Joel tugs you closer, you listen clambering back to where you were before trying to leave. Joel rests his back against the wall and makes a point of extending one leg. You don't fully get it until he's helping you ease onto his thigh. The material of his sweats is nowhere near enough.

"Joel--"

"Sh," he hums, soothingly as he runs a hand up and down your back, "It's okay, sweetheart." The hand that's still on your hip squeezes firmly. "I've got you, y'know that." He helps pull you forward on his thigh and the pressure after so long without nothing hits you harder than you thought it would. "There you go," you push down harder, faster, "Just like that."

The longer you go, the more Joel encourages you, whispering sweet nothings and words of encouragement as the knot in your stomach continues to grow until your body feels it. You're seizing up, body ready to throw itself off of a ledge. Your thigh squeezes around his leg, which must be how Joel knows you're close, because before you can find release, his hand is leaving your back and moving onto your arm. In one, fluid motion that should be impossible, he flips you two.

Your back is on the mattress and Joel's above you, pinning you in place with his body. You can feel him, all of him, hard and struggling between the layers that divide you.

Your lips part, but you don't know what to say. You're still reeling from your stolen orgasm, and you're not sure if you want to curse him out for it or simply ask why and how. Bad back your ass the way he just turned the two of you over with no real effort.

Before a single sound can come out of you, Joel folds the edge of the T-shirt you sleep in, exposing your stomach. A fluttery kiss to newly exposed skin. Again and again until he has to push up even more of your shirt to continue. "This," his voice comes out lower, harder as he tugs at the fabric, "Off."

You sit up just enough to help him tug the shirt off as quickly as possible. The desperation makes it harder than it ever should be to take off a shirt, but the offensive piece of fabric eventually finds its way to the floor.

The bareness you feel is startling, even in this level of darkness. Joel doesn't give you a chance to let your mind wander or insecurity take root. His mouth is exploring the newly exposed skin immediately. It's a rabid mix of love bites and placating the irritated marks with soft passes of his tongue and genuine, devoted kisses.

It's then that you realize there's a reason he's taking his time. He's definitely hard, you can feel him pressing against your thigh, but that doesn't matter to him. He's taking his time because he can. Because he's enjoying it, getting off on having you writhing and desperate under him.

"Joel," your voice is so small it feels like it belongs to someone else.

He pauses, lifting his head just enough that the scruff of his facial hair scratches comfortingly against your skin. A reminder that he's still him. "Yeah, sweetheart?"

You carefully lift a hand, making sure your movements are easy to follow in the dark. Joel lets your fingers settle in his hair. "Need more-need you."

"I know, sweetheart." His voice is low and soft, impossible to not trust. "You can wait a little longer." His teeth drag against your skin again. "Can't you, baby?"

Fuck, he could ask you anything like that and you'd have to say yes. "Mm."

He takes it as the answer it's supposed to be. Joel goes back to it until his fingers finally snag around the elastic band of your shorts. In one swift motion, he tugs it and your underwear away, leaving you fully exposed. He gives no warning before moving his mouth to your thighs, slowly moving up until the only thing left is your center.

With no warning, Joel licks through your folds. You practically cry out. "I know, sweetheart," he mumbles, barely looking up, "You can take it."

After that, he picks up the pace. Just as you think you're going to get used to the overwhelming pleasure, Joel moves his hand down your waist to use his thumb against your clit. Fuck. You're panting, whining, begging.

Joel groans. "You're close, I can feel you." His fingers replace his mouth, "You gonna come?" Another whine, like your body has forgotten how to make any other sound. "Yeah?" He's picking up the pace, pushing his fingers into you in a way that hits you somewhere deep. "Come on my fingers, sweetheart, I've got you."

His pace reaches its peak and his thumb works at your clit until you're finally pushed over the edge. Joel reaches you before you can scream, muffling the sound of your orgasm by pressing his lips to yours.

You can taste yourself on his tongue as he works you through your high. Joel knows when to stop, when the pleasure comes close to bordering on painful, he moves his hand back up your waist and focuses on just kissing you.

After a few minutes, you regain control of your thoughts. The urge to pull him closer takes over once again. Without thinking, you're tugging at the hem of his shirt. You almost think twice about it, but decide that it's only fair. He's touched so much of you and seen even more. All while fully clothed.

You're not as good or tactful about it as he is, likely due to the gap in your experience, but Joel picks up on what you want. He pulls away cautiously, eyebrows furrowing together like he's debating before finally giving in.

He discards his shirt just as carelessly as he got rid of his own. Joel tries to reconnect the two of you together again before you can take full note of him. It's a tactic you find the strength to beat, turning your head just enough to indicate that you're pausing.

Joel allows that, stills against with no protest. The silent promise that it's your pace is comforting. You let your eyes rake over his chest in what you hope is subtle, but really doubt actually comes off that way. You can feel him tense under your gaze. You stretch out a hand carefully, touching him because you can. Your attention focuses on the details that you can make out despite the limited light. A few marks of varying sizes are visible across his skin.

Scars. You wonder how many of them there are and the stories behind each. What it'd feel like to touch and learn each of them until they're as familiar as the lines of your palms. Your hand drifts down, faintly touching a particularly long mark.

Joel's hand moves, catching your wrist before you can make it any further. You frown up at him. "I want--"

"I--" He cuts himself off, unsure on how to explain it. You deserve to know what a war it will be to get him to open up, but he doesn't want that to change things. "Not yet, okay?" He squeezes your hand in his. "I'm not an easy person to care about, to get close to, but I--I can try to--"

"I disagree." He frowns at being cut off, but lets you continue. "And you don't have to worry about forcing anything right now, whatever you have to give, that's what I want."

That's all it takes. Joel crashes his mouth to yours, holding you there for much longer than before. He shifts away just enough to be able to pull down his pants. He strokes himself briefly before lining himself up with your entrance.

Joel enters you with no warning, easing himself in until your hips are pressed together. You're a mess despite his soothing words. He pulls back and pushes back, again and again until all you're seeing is white, blinding pleasure. "Fuck!"

"You're squeezin' me so good, sweetheart," his groans are hot and heavy against the shell of your ear. "Oh, sweetheart," he's losing his tact, his movements becoming more and more desperate. "You gonna come with me?"

You nod, eyes screwing shut as Joel picks up the pace until you're a mess again. He clamps a hand over your mouth as your second orgasm hits you fast and hard. It takes all of Joel's strength to pull out before finishing.

He lets himself relax against you after, a mess of sweaty limbs as you both recover. After a minute, Joel sits up. "You leaving?"

Joel brushes back your hair out of your face gently. "No, sweetheart, just need to get something to clean you up, okay?" You're about to protest again, but Joel beats you to it, "You don't want to sleep like this." When your only reaction is to pout up to him and cling to his arm, Joel leans down and finds a shirt to offer you. "Ellie's an early riser that never learned how to knock. You want to deal with this in the morning while pretending you're not?"

That's a point that sticks. You could probably explain Joel being in here early in the morning or he could climb out of your bed at first sunlight to keep this from being weird for Ellie...but your current state? Yeah, that's undeniable. "Come back?"

Joel squeezes your hand, taking a moment to watch your small expression fondly. "Promise."

[rightshoeonleftfoot]

More Jäger headcanons because he won't leave my head and I'm still insane for him..

🧮 (there is no calculator emoji for some reason so the abacus will do) Jäger carries a calculator in his back pants pocket like he does his phone. He always has one with him, it's a habit, he doesn't like using the calculator on his phone, he thinks it's a hassle to have to turn his phone just for it to become a scientific calculator.

🎸 Jäger plays Guitar Hero!! He played guitar hero during his late teens and he was absolutely obsessed with the game, finding time between helping his uncle and studying to game. He still plays it, he has a nice set up for it back at his flat, with an old wii and a few of the remote guitars he's collected since the game came out. Yes, he is an absolute beast at it.

🔭 Likes astronomy! Throughout his childhood and teenage years, he's wanted to fly so I think it's very likely this man also thinks astrology is fascinating. You'll catch him reading studies, watching movies about space. If the documentary is about both AI AND space? You will be hearing about it for weeks. He owns a nice telescope he keeps at his flat for when the sky is clear, he definitely lives somewhere closer to the country where there's less light pollution.

🐕 It hurts me to say this as a cat person but he's 100% a dog person. He radiates dog energy. When he retires he wants his own dog, and he definitely takes that small high pitched voice when he talks to a dog. I would see him with a border collie, an australian shepherd or a bernese, but he's definitely the type of guy to get a rescue. He likes high energy dogs, until he's trying to work and they're begging for their third walk of the day.

⛰️ He likes hiking! To piggy back off my dog headcanon, this man loves high energy dogs because he takes his dog hiking with him. You can bet your ass that that dog is trained extremely well and responds to commands instantly. He'll never go on super long hikes alone, since it's more of a hobby he indulges in occasionally than anything else, but he has gone on week long hikes with his friends.

☕ He is a coffee connoisseur. He knows his brands, knows the best ways to make coffee, and loves to spoil visitors when they come to his flat with amazing coffee. Even though he settles for cheaper, regular coffee at work (I don't think he's picky about his coffee, as long as it wakes him up), he definitely loves to impress his coworkers by getting better coffee for the break room every once in a while.

[cauqhtz]

My opinion about Luffy and the world of one piece.

What does Luffy or One Piece in general mean to you?

I'll start! This is completely my opinion and my personal feelings!

I should start off my saying I am a hard person to please. I'm extremely "picky" with every aspect of my life. For example: I hate it when my food touches, even when I'm eating it. I eat it in order. there are exceptions though. I do like for my collard greens and rice to touch but only if I put them together. I still plate them separately.

It's ridiculous and sooo annoying but its a serious thing for me. It's like trying to swallow a pill. I physically cannot force myself to swallow anything that dont fit those standards.

It's like this for every aspect of my life. Books, movies, JOBS, tv shoes, etc..

the first time I tried watching one piece i turned it off maybe not even a minute after watching the first half of the first episode. I remember seeing nami at a party and her looking out to see the whirlpool and I got the wrong idea about what the anime was about so i swore off it.

Maybe a year later I saw a instagram post. It was basically saying how they didnt understand how they found a pirate story about some kid made of rubber kicking everyone's asses entertaining. I was in disbelief and kind of took it as a challenge. It sounded absolutely ridiculous to me at the time so I gave it another shot.

As soon as Luffy popped out of that barrel knocking one of those guys out saying he'd catch a cold for sleeping right there? I was laughing. ME? LAUGHING? To say I was sold would be an understatement.

Then theres the part where Luffy expresses his dream to be king. It wasnt because of some overused reason like very other anime like childhood trauma. It was because he wanted to. Thats it and thats all. I was blown away. My heart raced with excitement after that speech from luffy and I binged watched the episodes from then on.

I was obsessed. (Still obsessed) Back then I was still in highschool and I was binging the episodes from the moment I woke up, during all my classes and lunch, after school and falling asleep to it.

I think the only anime I binged like that would be HXH another anime I'm still obsessed with.

One of the funniest episodes of one piece for me is 497. I was rewatching the marine ford arc and I was in tears laughing at this episode.

But back to the question!

As a young woman of color? Luffy is a dream to me. Luffy is the perfect mixture of malcom x and MLK. He's what I think the world needs. He's one of a damn kind, there is NO character like him or story like one piece PERIOD and there's no amount of hate from naruto fans that'll make that less true.

The only character that is unafraid of crying, laughing, fucking up, tripping up in front of friends and enemies alike.

insanely selfish but he's strong. He can have his friends, hell he can make new friends and have them ALL by his side or far away from him. All alive and fucking thriving, why? because he fucking said so. He's strong in more ways than one. He has that luxury.

He's unafraid of asking for help. He has never once acted as though everyone else is beneath him and he can do everything by himself.

Gets pissed when he finds his vest with flowers sewed into it, wanting to be a manly man but unbothered at eating all the love themed food sanji makes specifically for nami and robin.

He has asked forced Pirate Hunter Zoro to join his crew? Nah thats just zoro his best friend and the guy who ate stomped out sand covered chocolate rice balls out of respect for the little girl he saved from Helmeppo.

Cat burglar nami? Nami the navigator. Her maps and weather skills are unreal!

Sniper king the liar? Yup but he's a damn good sharpshooter.

Black Leg/ Vinsmoke Sanji isnt he apart of a family of comicbook villians? Thats just Sanji! One of the best chefs in the world!

Tony Tony Chopper the raccoon dog that happens to be a doctor? Oh no thats chopper. Our crews miracle treasure. He's a talking reindeer monster.

The demon child is on your crew? Huh? Demon child? You can't mean robin! She's a good friend of mine and she's an archeologist! I'd have to kick your ass if you think otherwise! :D

Cyborg Franky? Oh yeah I couldnt take the sunny without him! They're a package deal!

The humming swordsman? Oh you mean brook! He's a talking, singing afro skeleton not to mention hilarious! The part about him being a sword-swinging musician was just a plus!

The first son of the sea jinbei...A fishman? Hell yeah! He's THE fishman! Jinbei is a good friend of mine and the 10th member I've been looking for!

Luffy's crew is a dumpster fire of diversity. That right there is rare within itself. I mean it's a Japanese show, yet most of the main characters aren't japanese! They originate from a little bit of everywhere across the globe!

They all look different and act different. They are all flawed and yet Luffy accepts them with open fucking arms with his TRADEMARKED grin nearly splitting his face in half!

Speaking of accepting them! Luffy is always overjoyed when reuniting with his crew. Jumping to give them hugs, screaming his hellos, jumping up and down, lunging forward to give them hugs, and waving with excitement at the sight of his friends.

I mean Luffy is unfucking matched. Even his voice is one of a kind and so fucking satisfying for his dialogue??

Two of my favorite quotes from Luffy are:

"I'm kicking your ass and wrecking your birdcage."

"Speak up for yourself, aren't you the leader of these guys? SAY SOMETHING ALREADY!"

Luffy's very name holds mind-melting weight.

I just recently found out that his brother ace was the one that came up with "Gum gum Rocket." Something I'm now pissed at OPLA for giving Garp the credit of.

Luffy as a captain doesnt do major plans or specific orders. He says something and his crew either follows along or finds their own objective for example the punk hazard arc when law asked luffy if he was going to leave his crew on the island to do what they said they wanted to do and leave with him to fight kaido.

Luffy refused saying if his crew was staying to get their own things done then so was he and that Law had to get used to it quick.

Luffy is freedom in physical form. There one second and gone the next. Something that gave Law heart palpitations.

ALSO SCREW YOU LAW FOR TELLING CHOPPER TO SHUT UP WHEN HE TOLD YOU BYE IN WANO!

Luffy has no rhyme or reason for doing things the way he does other than the fact that thats just who he is. Something that only Zoro and Robin TRULY understand. Chopper understood this recently, just before the time-skip.

For example when big mom assumed luffy was there in wano to pick a fight with kaido and luffy denied it sternly.

confusing everyone around him including nami and carrot.

He went onto say everyone not only responsible but associated would be getting their asses kicked.

And thats EXACTLY what happened.

Zoro wasnt even there for that and he was already cutting the majority of their members in half.

MIND YOU. LUFFY AND HIS CREW DIDNT PLAN ANYTHING. NOR WERE THEY AWARE OF THAT PLAN. ALL THEY HAD WERE DISGUISES AND THEIR WITTS.

You'd think that with every plan luffy screws up they'd be major consequences? NOPE bc he's stronger than that. Everyone else would have to adapt or get their asses kicked.

jinbei fought with luffy in the fishman island arc. not wanting luffy to make matters worse, instead wanting him to be seen as a hero to which luffy refused saying he's not a hero and that he had to get to his friends... until jinbei said and i quote. "Luffy, I'll let you have all the meat you want! Just do as I say!"

To which luffy agreed after a few more pleas.

friends and enemies are one in the same to him.

You want to hit him? Fine he doesnt care. but Lie to him? He's about to shove his foot up your ass.

You want to take credit for his wins unless your law or kid? Hell yeah! Couldn't have done it without you!

You want to defend him? Dont bother. This is his business. Stay the hell out of it.

You want to cry? Suck it up! Crying wont fix anything so get the fuck up and do something about it already!

You want to ask him for help? Sure! Anything! As long as you're the right person asking!

You want to call him a hero? Literally might knock your lights out.

You want to put him down in history and tell everyone what he and his crew did? Don't bother he's not interested.

I mean the list goes on and on. I can talk about luffy and one piece for HOURS and never get bored.

Luffy is a dream to me. I tear up thinking about him and wishing to be apart of that world for even a day.

Thats what Luffy means to me.

[cheekinpermission]

hello! I was just wondering, do you have any advice for getting so many gems in Twst? Also thank you for your wonderful art, I enjoy looking forward to see what you draw next :D

Buy them

Just kidding! I've only made one purchase for TWST. It was less than $10 and was way back in the beginning for some kind of deal or something.

My 16k gem stash is the product of two years of grinding and selective pulls. I really wish I could say I had some kind of hack but that's really it. I'll talk about how I approach spending resources in the game, though, if anyone finds that useful.

As per usual, I ramble so it'll be under the cut!

1. Pick a favorite character

HEAR ME OUT I KNOW ITS HARD BECAUSE ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE GREAT! But it helps a lot if you're limiting who you're willing to pull for instead of every pretty card that comes out.

Personally, Riddle is my favorite (+ Grim but he's not really a concern card wise) so I'm committed to getting all of his cards. I'd really hate if I couldn't get one of his cards that I really want because I spent my keys / gems on a card that I only kind of wanted. So that's something to think about if it helps keep things in perspective.

All my Riddles!! (I definitely don't have a favorite Riddle shhh)

For example, I absolutely love Ortho's Fairy Gala card. I think it's one of the prettiest in the game! But I didn't pull for it because Ortho isn't a favorite character of mine.

It works the opposite, too. Kalim, Vil, and Ruggie are among my favorites but I've passed on a lot of their cards for one reason or another. I passed on Tsum Kalim because I didn't like the groovy, I passed on Silk Adorned Vil because I didn't like that it didn't have an attached vignette, and I passed on Camp Vargas Ruggie because I didn't like the event itself. While I really love these characters, I'm picky about which ones I'll pull so I don't miss out on a better one later.

For characters that I like quite a bit (top 5 ish), I'll use their free ten set you get on their birthday to try and pull for them. If I don't get them within those ten pulls, I accept it and move on.

I also want to say that this method has allowed to me to get pretty much every card that I've actually wanted. I can even pull for characters that aren't among my favorites (e.g. Idia who has THE BEST SSRS FOR SOME REASON??) and still have a big gem safety net.

I don't pull super often, I don't think, but I've gotten everything I've wanted so I think it's a fair trade-off.

Given my gem stash, you might be able to get away with collecting for a dorm but it'd have to be one of the tiny ones (Scarabia would be excellent because Jamil has almost no SSRs rip)

2. Plan ahead of time using JP TWST events

One of the biggest advantages of JP TWST releasing events way before Eng TWST is that we know what's coming ahead of time so we can plan accordingly. Obviously, this won't work if you're trying to save gems on the Japanese server.

You'll have to be okay with spoilers for the English server, too. At least enough to know if a character you like is in the event. I like to look at the card art and groovies, personally, as those will influence my decision if I'm on the fence.

SPOILERS FOR JP TWST EVENTS

I know which cards that I need to save for in the future:

Riddle’s Swimear SR

Ruggie’s Clubwear SSR

Rollo's SSR (pending available keys)

Riddle's Bloomquet SSR

Vil's Luxe Couture SSR

Vil and Malleus's Tsum SSR (pending groovies)

While we don't have a definitive schedule for a lot of these, a lot of them you can kind of guess.

For example, Riddle's Swimwear SR is part of Stitch's event which seems pretty summer-y to me. It'll likely come out in June or July of this year. Clubwear cards come relatively quickly so I'm anticipating Ruggie's Clubwear SSR fairly soon, too. Gotta make sure I'm saving right now for those bad boys.

Rollo and Riddle will probably come around the same time (Aug-Nov) so I've got a bit of time to build up my collection of keys again.

The others just got released in Japan so they'll take awhile before they reach us and I'm not too worried about them just yet.

SPOILERS DONE!

I think of it like going to the grocery store with a shopping list. Stick to the list and you know you can't overspend!

3. Don't pull for dorm cards

"That's easy for you to say, Cheekin. Riddle is your favorite character and you can get his dorm card for free at the beginning of the game!!"

Why, yes. Yes, you can. Thanks, Riddle!

(Ngl I might've caved and done it for Riddle but ONLY Riddle because he's my fave :D)

Now that all of the dorm uniforms have been released, dorm showcases aren't really a thing but in the event that they do a re-run I would avoid spending keys / gems on them. Same goes for the standard show case. Neither are worth it, IMO.

Dorm uniform cards will always be in the SSR pool regardless of the event, so I think it's better to just take your chances and collect them slowly overtime. Of course, the odds of getting the one you want aren't super high but you'll amass quite a few dorm cards just by pulling for event cards anyways. You're bound to get one you like eventually.

For reference, I've gotten Dorm Idia, Ortho, Vil, Jamil THREE TIMES, Kalim, Azul, Ruggie, Jack, Trey TWICE and Deuce TWICE as a byproduct of pulling for event cards. I wasn't trying to get them but they're here now and I love them for it <3

---

And that's about it! Nothing too groundbreaking. The biggest thing is knowing when to stop. Sometimes when I'm on that gacha grind high and I want to pull just cause it's been awhile since I've gotten an SSR, I'll tell myself to do it later because 99% of the time I'll just forget and it'll never happen!

I have been burned by too many gacha games in the past that I refuse to let it happen to me again in TWST (cough Obey Me COUGH)

Here are all my SSRs so you can judge for yourself how effective it is. (Or if its worth it)

I genuinely have no clue what the average number of SSR's a player who has been playing for over 2 years like me has, but I'm comfortable with what I've got. I've gotten all the cards I've wanted and most of the cards I was interested in so I think it's worth it.

tldr: be selective about your pulling, plan ahead, and resist the urge to pull constantly

Thank you for your kind words about my art!! (And if anyone got to the end of all this WORD VOMIT thanks for listening! Reading. Whatever.)

[allastoredeer]

The ship name switch actually comes from manga/anime fandoms! I haven't been in any recently, but back in ye old days people could get very intense about who tops and who bottoms and switches were practically unheard of, so the names were kinda necessary. NaruSasu vs SasuNaru for example. You won't believe how much people fought over positions, it even got parodied in some japanese media. On a slightly related note, are you okay with top al content where the characters are properly portrayed? Or none at all? No judgment, we all should enjoy the fandoms however we like ^^

Oh 👀 that makes sense I wouldn't have heard about it then. I watched a handful a anime, but the only one I dipped my toes into was My Hero Academia, and even then, I didn't go that deep. I read a few fics, but that was the extent of it.

Fighting over who tops, bottoms, and switches is so silly. An argument can be made for any character being a top, bottom, or switch, because sexual preference/positions isn't something that can determined by a handful of personality traits. There's no check-list a characters has follow to be "deemed" a top. Or a bottom. Or a switch.

At the end of the day, it's literally just what the fan prefers for that pairing. And I think the more people accept that they can like specific dynamics without having to argue for their right to like it, the better and less-toxic a fandom will be. You should never have to defend why you like a character, or a ship, or anything else, because sometimes you just like it. You vibe with it. No other reason required.

As for the top!Al content, it can be kind of tricky to deem something as "properly portrayed" when, technically, everyone's portrayal is going to be different, and every portrayal isn't going to be 100% in-line with the show.

I think considering something as properly portrayed is wholly dependent on the fan and how they relate to the show and the characters. No fanfiction or fanart is going to be completely true to the show or characters. I don't even think that's possible XD Fans inject so much of themselves and their experiences into fan-content, that every portrayal can be considered properly done given the right audience.

But, if top!Al and bottom!Luci were written in a different way--maybe something that didn't UwU-ify Lucifer so much or make Alastor out to be this big, domineering alpha-male--I think I could like it.

I'm very picky with characterization. There are some details I can easily overlook, but depending on how certain things are written, it can take me out of the story so badly I can't even force myself to finish reading. (Believe me, I've tried. I found a Spideypool fic once that was so well written it was love at first sight. The humor was on point, the plot was intriguing, the dynamic between them was fun, but there was a small, little, itty-bitty detail in their interactions that kept popping up and it took me out of the fic so bad, I couldn't keep going. I tried to finish the fic, multiple times, but I never got very far.)

Funnily enough, when I was first scouring the internet for content after the show ended, I actually bookmarked a handful of top!Al and bottom!Luci on Twitter. But with how it's currently being portrayed across the fandom, any enjoyment I had for it has soured. I just don't vibe with the majority of top!Al I see now.

I've always liked bottom!Al though, and I've been seeing a lot more content for it lately! I've been eating well 😋

[foursaints]

btw how does it feel to be my favourite blog on tumblr. i was obsessed with rosekiller for months in 2022 and as i got interested in other things they more or less fell to the back burner a bit, but following you, and reading all of your stuff (especially about rosekiller.) makes me feel 1) nostalgic for things i didn't realise i missed so much 2) absolutely insane because you're one of few people i trust with characterising rosekiller, and everything you say about them is just so. correct. makes so much sense. and scratches a part of my brain perfectly in a way i didn't know i needed. pleeaspleaseples never stop talking about rosekiller and even bartylily at this point. you've made them make sense to me when probably no one else could have pulled that off because i’m picky. not to say i owe you my life but… i definitely owe you something i think. oh and the rosier twins! pandora was never a prevalent character for me (for some reason?) so i never really gave her too much thought, but you’ve managed to engage me even with her which only one of my friends has been able to pull off to date so i’m impressed with that also. anyway just tysm for sharing your incredible thoughts for us lowlifes to see, you’ve put ideas in my head that i craved without realising

♡♡ anon this is so sweet to hear 😭 once again it's such a joy just to rotate characters with you guys... i'm glad it resonates... take my hand.... let's think about them forever

[absolutebl]

Heyo! I have a friend I'm trying to get more into BL. She's watched KinnPorsche and I recently got her to watch 3 Will Be Free (I know, not BL). She's somewhat picky about the romance she likes to consume, so I thought I'd ask you which BLs you think would be best to get her started with the genre. Her specifications are 1) a good, solid plot (any type is fine); 2) slow burn; 3) and good chemistry. She also loves sci fi and fantasy. My initial thoughts are MoD, Not Me, and AToTS. Any additions?

BLs with: 1 Good Story, 2 Slow Burn, 3 Good Chemistry, 4 PNR elements if possible

I have not one specific list for you, but several! Many of these not updated so likely to recommend pre the 2023 madness. (Imma rag on some of your choices briefly: KP & MoD only satisfy one criteria - chemistry IMHO.

I did give you a final list of winners at the bottom tho!

1) BLs with the best stories:

2) BLs with best slow burn:

3) BLs with the best chemistry:

(by my definition)

4) PNR BLs (paranormal, sci-fi, or fantastical elements)

P'ABL did the math:

BLs that do or should show up on most of those lists:

Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Soul (Thailand) - the first one I thought of that satisfies all criteria. Good story, great chemistry, PNR & slow burn. By your friend's accounting, this should be the perfect BL. I'm a fan of this show and I have a full review here BUT I don't actually rec it often. Why? My quibble with DDICFS is that for dyed-in-the-wool BL or romance fans the ending may not satisfy, BUT that seems to be the one thing your friend is NOT - so this should be perfect.

Triage (Thailand) - good chemistry, frustratingly slow burn, def PNR, and good story. This was my second pull. It suffered at the time of airing from distribution issues and (perhaps more sadly) being up against KP. It's really good tho. A “correct the past” Groundhog Day plot, that has narrative baggage I normally do not like but is so clever about time loops, I have to forgive it my hang-ups. About a doctor who must save a boy to fix reality, but not in the usual way. 

Until We Meet Again (Thailand) - GREAT story, decent chemistry, very PNR, but not slow burn. It’s a perfectly executed fated mates reincarnation plot, fantastic well-seeded twists & reveals, and the only BL I would love to see adapted by other countries or read professionally translated. 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan) - slow burn, great story & chemistry, no PNR. This is a deceptively simple office romance that actually has a lot to say about life, love, maturity, and pancakes. It’s charming but also deeply moving and loving in its exploration of what it means to give up, and how connection can bring with it second chances. It’s also beautifully filmed and acted. 

Seven Days (Japan) - slow burn, great romance plot, good chemistry, no PNR. This is a pitch perfect elegant little YA romance that stays completely true to its yaoi roots but neatly avoids all the flaws of the genre. The story is deceptively simple but allows for angst and miscommunication to develop with VERY good reason, and is almost worth studying because of that. As a romance, it is elegant. I can see why it got stolen adapted.

1000 Stars (Thailand) - solid romance, very slow burn, okay chemistry, no PNR. All BL is romantic, but not all BL is a modern romance in the literary sense of the term, but 1k* is just that, an absolutely glorious slow burn gay romance that nods at BL but isn’t behooven to it. It’s just a really well executed linear romance story.

HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan 2019 Viki) - not PNR and maybe not exactly slow burn but aces everything else. (This was MY KP when it aired.) Taiwan often struggles with story because their BLs aren’t always long enough to really get stuck in, Trapped is different. It has a baby murder investigation that promotes conflict between the leads, so the romantic tension is between plot and character, it’s so smart. The leads did a GREAT job of showcasing mature chemistry. The side dishes in this series are wonderful too. The main couple has an amorphous ending, but like with Dear Doctor, that shouldn't rank under these specific circumstances.

My School President (Thai 2023 YouTube) - great chemistry, very slow burn, okay story, no PNR BUT you have to like YA. I know not everyone does. This is very youthful. GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORE this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? Possibly too slow burn for some, we wait many eps for that pay out, and Tin's pining is NOT quiet, but it defines dorky and earnest, so when the payout comes? Lovely.

About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga) - exactly the same criteria as MSP just Taiwan's version. A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by an almost real world queer authenticity and grit. Full review here.

See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan 2021 Viki) - it's short there isn't a ton of story development, but it's a nice nugget introduction to Taiwan's style. Great chemistry, def slow burn, and CUTE. This under-appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charming and adorable yet still quintessentially Taiwanese. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. How does Taiwan do it?

Why no KBL?

Fascinating but despite the fact that KBL tends to earn the highest ratings from me and occupies the most slots in my 10/10 BLs of all time, because they are so short they tend to fall... erm... short in the arena of story and slow burn. Also, until recently, not a lot of great chemistry.

So here are a few others I considered but ended up eliminating for not containing enough of your required elements:

He's Coming to Me (Thailand) - review here

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) - this has a 12th Night meet Cinderfella feel to it, plus some great story tricks like a plot that requires a historical setting (I love it when narrative elements are codependent). 

Our Dining Table - It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me with the best of what Japan can do, it’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, it’s OK with me, but not totally BL.

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan) - full review here

Ghost Host Ghost House - if your friend likes horror and culture immersion this might be a winner. Boys shack up with ghosts and each other. The story is weak but everything else is on point and it has some of the best slow burn HOT chemistry ever to hit our screens. No... really. The THIRST is real.

Semantic Error (2022 Viki) - Simple story, no PNR, not slow burn, but for Korea it’s some of the best chemistry the traditional studios have ever managed. It is flawless BL. Truly, perfection for the genre. If your friend doesn't like this, BL is probubly not the right genre. Full review. 

Light on Me - def slow burn but story is a little weak and while there is chemistry, it's not really acted upon. Also v YA and a little stiff. I love this BL unreasonably.

KP not tagged to protect me from the fandom. Don't troll me and prove my point. Remember I can has ban hammer and am not afraid to use it.

(source)