#i'm very salty about the spoilers

[that-dumb-dinosaur]

okk Sabine was so good. the chipped nail polish, her hair (especially at the end of ep2), the loth cat and chopper doodles everywhere, HER MUSIC TASTE? perfection

[lmaster37]

hmmmm "i will" by mitski as a loumand song.... armand both pre- and post-SF trying to convince himself he's doing the right thing, he's doing this for louis, he's doing this for them......

armand who considers himself fundamentally unlovable outside of his utility to a partner...... for whom love and servitude and ownership and debt are all mixed up in ways informed by centuries of abuse

who is applying what little he has received in the way of love (both real and perceived) to his current relationships, but who has never felt loved without being owned, who has never once even considered that Respecting Boundaries is an important part of loving somebody, who is used to his lover being his owner being his maker being his god, and who applies all that to his relationship with louis because it's the first time he is suddenly in the dominant position in a relationship and he is Not equipped to handle that in any way even approaching a healthy relationship

"i will see your body bare and still i will live here" considering that the highest form of devotion because surely only somebody who truly loves him could stomach to see him undone, to see him brought low, even if they were the one to undo him. is it not the most honest expression of his adoration for louis to see him brought low and rebuild him ?

"and all the quiet nights you bear, seal them up with care / no one needs to know they're there, for i will hold them for you" armand who is intimately familiar with the ways that memory can hurt you, who is desperately trying to pretend that forgetting is the same as moving on, who is taking on all the burden of this relationship and still louis is so ungrateful, how dare he accuse armand of doing this for his own benefit when it was all for louis, when armand has stayed awake a thousand days to soothe his nightmares, smooth over the edges of every hurtful recollection, when armand bears louis's traumas for him, how dare he—

"there's no need to be brave / while you sleep, i'll be scared / so by the time you wake, i'll be brave" armand who is building up an increasingly fragile house of cards, who is layering lies and adjustments and changes and more lies over each other, knowing that it's not sustainable, knowing that with every passing day it becomes harder to tell the truth, knowing that this will collapse eventually and the fallout is only growing. and then louis wakes up and everything is fine, darling, don't you even worry about it

(can you tell him that i'm so normal about him)

[r0semultiverse]

Kawaki Homophobia Moments

[bossuary]

[bibliophilicstranger]

I've been watching Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking. Some thoughts in no particular order (spoilers follow):

The first episode was unfair to the bakers. Everyone should have started and finished at the same time. Judging should have been conducted and decisions made all at once rather than contestant by contestant. At the very least if they were doing staggered starts, they should have waited to hand tickets out until the end. It's not like they didn't know they were sending x number home to make the whole series work.

Why is Carla Hall doing this? Why couldn't they have picked someone British? Like one of the people from Bake Off? This show feels very American for something that's set in Britain about British IP.

Why are there only two judges? There are guest judges later but it really feels like there should be three.

The Phelps twins are wonderful and I love them. I'm glad they're here. They're very silly.

Arresto Momentum doesn't do what they think it does though (petrificus totalus or stupefy would be better for instant stops).

The quote is "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it," not "those who deserve it". You may do plays on quotes, you may not claim those are the original quotes.

The Olivander's display was more impressive and deserved better judging.

It feels very wrong that the "special help" given was by one of the judges.

This whole thing seems very biased toward one particular team. They seem to get away with things other teams don't.

If you're assigned to do the Horcruxes and you only do 6 of the 7, that should count against you. Especially when there are other flagrant issues with your display.

It's also weird they were allowed to paint their display at the very end after time. I thought they were only allowed to assemble it?

Evanna Lynch remains a treasure. Even if seeing her with dark hair is weird.

[celsidebottom]

Okay I think it's time I start blacklisting everything for datv before reviews start coming out tomorrow

And once the game does finally come out I'm going to try and not be on tumblr at all until I finish it (which will probably be a while because work) so if I'm not around I am alive I'm just dragon ageing. But also I am weak and I will probably be here at some point SO I would really appreciate if everyone was diligent in their tagging thank

I will be tagging things with dragon age, datv, and datv spoilers, and my own posts will have an extra Kellan plays datv

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than drama

Booted up Cavern of Dreams for the first time in too long and immediately found and 100%'ed the 2nd world (Airborne Armada)

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

Viktor just read a book that said you should be totally obedient to your elders and he immediately threw it in a river. I'm so proud of him

[mellosdrawings]

(I love drawing Jamil's grabby hands when he's upset lol)

(Book5 spoilers incoming!)

No but on a more serious note. I focused on Jamil here coz my boi just can't catch a break, but the truth is that Book5, for as much as I love it, really doesn't have a satisfying ending.

It's not a matter of "we lost" and me being salty about it, obviously it was very important for Vil's character arc.

Buuuuut... Well, it wasn't the only character arc started in this Book. All previous Books were (mostly) completely focused on the overblotter and the previous overblotter that joined the frayed to help out. Here we don't just have a continuation of Jamil's character arc, there was also Epel and Deuce who got a big thing, and Kalim had a throwaway line that never got anywhere (and I'm salty about it. I wished we heard more about how he felt competitiveness towards Jamil for the first time).

In the context of Jamil and Epel's character arc mostly, losing the SDC is extremely unsatisfying. Jamil finally got handed the spotlight and accepted it, and he still failed. Even when he get the one thing he wants he still ends second. Nothing changes. Rip my forever Number Two loser.

Epel also got a whole arc about accepting to weaponize his cuteness. It falls flat. His finally using his cuteness doesn't make the team win, he doesn't one up Neige, he doesn't fulfill his role as Vil's poisonous apple. Just bad.

If they really just focused on Vil for this Book like they did in previous Books, that ending would have been much stronger. But with the numerous character arcs there, I feel like there should have been another way so that they could all have their respective good ending.

There, I'm done with my rant. Here's a bonus:

[underthetree845]

chuuya taking his hat off to hide when he kisses his partner 🤭

Hello saturn lovely! Sorry this took me so long to finish TwT I love the prompt, but as you know writer's block hit me kinda hard the second semester of school so over the summer I've been trying to get back into the swing of posting once in a while!

Hope you enjoy <3 thank you for the request! _

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

Nakahara Chuuya/Reader (oneshot request)

cws: fem! reader, established relationship, bungou stray dogs s5 spoilers, meursault arc spoilers, fluff, hurt/comfort kinda? there was a little hurt, reuniting, airport reunion, ada dazai, reader cries about 2.5k words summary: Chuuya disappeared on a business trip for three whole days with no explanation- and no one would tell you why. Now he's returned to japan and back in your arms. a/n: This is my last fic for the summer before school starts aaa qwq I'm glad I was able to finish it before the semester starts though! *sigh* am I really incapable of writing something like this without accidentally creating so much plot? Anyways, hope you enjoy! <3 divider credit: (x) (x) ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹ Chuuya had never considered himself to be a very possessive man; or a possessive boyfriend, for that matter. Protective, sure, but how could anyone expect him not to be? He understood, probably better than most, the risks that came with even so much as associating with a person in his position. It made Chuuya’s stomach churn unpleasantly to even imagine putting you in any sort of danger, so he used his position (along with the power and assets that came with it) to take certain preventative measures. The penthouse you shared was equipped with state of the art security, a technological system truly fit for an executive of the Port Mafia. Additionally, in case you ever needed to travel long distances without him, Chuuya often kept a trusted chauffeur on call. This individual also happened to be a professionally trained underground bodyguard of his personal selection. Even so, Chuuya knew you had a good head on your shoulders. He trusted that you would try to keep yourself out of trouble, or call for him at the first sign of it. It didn’t matter if he was on the road, halfway through a private meeting, or in the middle of pummeling down an enemy organization. Chuuya had always been a man with his priorities set straight. Not even Mori’s notifications were set to come through on silent mode. Coming home to you at the end of the day, allowing you to soothe away the crease between his brows, your voice uttering sweet nothings against the shell of his ear. You had become his lifeline, irreversibly carved your name into every cell of his body. He’d do anything to erase your pain, and it was making his heart break more than anything to know that he was the cause of the salty tears now streaming over your lash line. Chuuya did his best to hold back an ‘oof’ when you threw your frame into his own, burying your sobs in the crook of his neck. He was immediately overwhelmed with the scent of your perfume, the familiar feeling of your body against his own, the softness of the sweater you wore, and the glimmer that never seemed to escape your eyes. The red colored contacts from earlier had given Chuuya one hell of a headache, which only added to the pressure from taking off and being stuck in one of the mafia’s smallest private jets with the most insufferable jackass he’d ever met and some hair dye obsessed casino manager passed out on one of the couches. Chuuya’s gloved fingers almost trembled as they gripped the fabric of your shirt. He lifted a hand to cradle the back of your head while the other remained planted firmly on your lower back.

Sakaguchi Ango, if Chuuya remembered correctly, stood a few yards away. He simply observed the situation from afar, as if he dared not insert himself into the scene. A government agent whom Dazai used to maintain his connection with the outside world. Ango stood with one hand folded neatly over the other behind his back, the faint ghost of a smile residing behind his glasses as he watched Dazai reunite with his fellow agency members. The brunette walked on a crutch, but the uncharacteristically tired look in his eyes brightened ever so slightly when he was swarmed by his coworkers. Chuuya continued to hold you close, patiently waiting for your sobs to die down enough for you to be able to speak coherently. He loosened his grip slightly, removing one of his leather gloves behind your back and bringing that same hand up to cup your face. A whisper of your name left his lips, and your teary eyes finally refocused to meet the warmth of his own. “Chuuya… how could you just leave?” your voice cracked; he could see the hurt in your eyes. Guilt crept into his chest, eyebrows knitting together as you subconsciously leaned into his palm. This was exactly the sort of thing Chuuya promised himself he’d never do. You were the absolute number one priority in his life. There was no doubt in his mind; he didn’t want there to be any doubt in yours either. “I know, Doll, ‘m sorry, it was never my intention…” he muttered, allowing you to rest your hands on his chest. “I know that’s a shit excuse, but I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” A beat of silence passed, the indistinct chatter of the agency fell on deaf ears as you zoned in on the man in front of you. His breath, the way his eyes searched your expression, how you could once again feel the warmth of his skin against your own. “You’re not hurt, are you?” your voice was pricked with concern, hands gentle as you cupped his jaw and turned his head from side to side. Chuuya let out a breath, fondness flickering in his irises at your concern. “Barely a scratch,” he murmured, and you seemed to accept his answer. “Chuuya,” you started, and his gaze locked onto yours. He voiced your name in response. “I need you to promise me something, please?” “Anything.” 

You bit your lip. Your mind told you it was a selfish request. You understood, probably better than most, how unpredictable your boyfriend’s line of work could be. But you had accepted it as an adequate price to pay for his love when the two of you started seeing each other, even more so when you moved in together. He was yours, you believed it with every fiber of your being. Chuuya had told enough stories of his old work partner for you to gather that the two had never exactly been the chummiest of pals. So the fact that they cooperated for this mission must’ve meant that it couldn’t have been a minor dilemma. You understood why Chuuya made the decision he did, and that it was probably just as difficult on him. Albeit, that didn’t make your feelings any less real. Your heart reminded you of the unconditional love and comfort that Chuuya always offered you. You knew he’d never intentionally hurt your feelings, especially not without talking it out and making up for it in some way afterward. “Doll…?” he barely breathed, giving you all the space you needed to voice what was on your mind. You took a deep breath. “Don’t… please don’t scare me like that again,” your voice wavered as you spoke, “Everything on the news is scary. And every time I watch it all I can think about is the fact that you’re out there.” You took a moment to glance at the group of Armed Detective Agency members on the airport runway to your left. One of the so-called terrorists you heard about on the news stood amongst the group about ten feet away from where you watched. The world was confusing, and scary, but there was a certain security in your heart that told you as long as you had Chuuya by your side, everything would be okay. “First you’re leaving before sunrise and staying out late on special missions, and I get it, I really do…” you felt a lump beginning to form in your throat, threatening to make you choke over your words, “but then you just leave on a business trip to Europe without so much as a ‘goodbye, I’ll be home soon’? And I have to find out from a call from your boss? I didn’t- I still don’t understand what’s happening. Do you know how scared I was? That I might not ever see you again?” Chuuya’s thumb swiped away the teardrop that ran down your cheek, his eyes trailing over your expression. “You’re right, it’s not fair… I don’t think I could ever apologize enough,” he began, his hold on you tightening slightly, “All that I can ask is for you to understand. I can explain everything to you when we get home. And I promise, I’ll do my best to not leave you in the dark so suddenly. It was an urgent mission, but it must have been scary. You’ll never have to feel like that again, not if I can help it.” Chuuya’s face softened, the corners of your lips curving up slightly at his sincerity as he cupped your cheek. “Shit… you deserve so much better.” You stood there for a moment, just breathing. Soaking in each other’s presence as your heartbeat gradually fell back to its usual pace.

“My my, Slug, is this the lovely lady you were so eager to get back to?” a voice chimed from your left, and you turned your head to face the man at the same time Chuuya snapped his head in that direction. Your boyfriend clicked his teeth, pressing your body closer to his own. “What’s it to you, huh, Dazai?” Chuuya was clearly trying to suppress his irritation. He was doing especially well, considering the fact that he had been holed up next to Dazai on an airplane for the past fourteen hours. “I’m just trying to acquaint myself,” the man went on, a grin playing on his lips despite Chuuya’s glare, “As a responsible owner, I should at least make sure my dog is in good hands.” You tilted your head slightly, and Chuuya sucked in a breath. “You’re treading on some pretty thin ice, Mackerel,” he growled through gritted teeth, “Watch what you say around my girl.” The taller man only took a step forward, his eyes glittering in amusement, a sharp contrast to the hollowed out, almost dead look he carried earlier. “Oh? Holding back your more vulgar language around the lady?” Dazai hummed with mild intrigue, “Perhaps my dog is being well taken care of.” You simply stood and watched with intrigue, the interaction clearly more complex than distinguishable at first glance. Despite their constant verbal jabs and ostentatious insults toward each other, there was a sense of familiarity between the two that was almost palpable to you. They bounced off each other, knowing exactly which buttons to press and which ones to avoid. It was probably a welcome change of tone in contrast to what they had just been through. Your gaze flickered between the two once more, and you couldn’t help but notice how the tension in Chuuya’s shoulders had been released. “Dazai-san?” your voice was level, and both of the men fell silent to give you their attention. You looked at your beloved, then to his ex-partner, then Chuuya, then Dazai again. Mirth swam in your eyes. “I want to thank you for making sure Chuuya was able to return home safely today. Truly, I cannot thank you enough.” You gave a slight bow of your head, and Chuuya looked like he wanted to protest. For once, Dazai didn’t immediately produce a response; he fell silent at your sentiment. This time, a gentler smile curved onto his lips. “Please spare me, Miss,” Dazai began, “Truth be told, I don’t believe I could have made it out without Chuuya’s help either.” The redhead raised his eyebrows. "I'm passing him into your capable hands now. I trust you’ll take good care of him?” Dazai seemed satisfied with the chuckle that slipped from your throat. “You have nothing to worry about,” you replied, “And I trust that your detective agency will treat you well?” “They always have.” Chuuya let out a breath, sharing a look with his partner before turning to face a black passenger vehicle that had pulled up a short distance away. Tinted windows that prevented anyone outside from peeking in; glass, body, and tires that were all bulletproof. It was one of the mafia’s. 

“C’mon Dollface, we should get going. Don’t wanna be here when the press shows up, and the boss is probably dying for me to give him a call,” Chuuya nodded his head in the direction of the car; you brought your hand up to give a small wave to Dazai and the handful of agency members further away who glanced in your direction. You let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in, allowing your head to rest on Chuuya’s shoulder as you made your way to the car. You felt like you could finally breathe properly again. The door unlocked with a quiet click. Chuuya swung open the door of the vehicle with his non gloved hand and stepped aside to allow you to enter first. “...Chuu?” you started quietly, taking a step closer to where he stood. “Hm?” he raised an eyebrow. You placed your hands loosely on the back of his neck, fingers intertwined; Chuuya responded by resting his hands on your hips, listening intently.  You could have held more of a grudge. He disappeared overnight without a word, and no one would tell you why. You’d been on edge for three days straight. Hardly even sleeping through the night as you kept up with the news almost obsessively, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. To be able to hold Chuuya close again so easily felt almost surreal. A soft smile creeped into your expression, the corners of your eyes crinkling as you tilted your head to the side. Chuuya’s breath stilled. “I’m just…” you paused for a moment, your voice pouring with sincerity, “I’m really glad you’re back, and that you’re safe.” Chuuya paused for another moment, studying you carefully as an equally tender look came to his face. He glanced to the side for a moment, and let out a disgruntled huff upon discovering that Dazai’s head was still tilted in your direction; he kept a curious eye on the situation from several meters away. Your boyfriend pursed his lips for a moment before snaking one of his hands further around your waist. He plucked his pork pie hat off the crown of his head, and before you had the chance to realize what was going on, you were already being gracefully tilted backwards, forcing your hands to grip onto the lapel of Chuuya’s jacket for support. Everything seemed to still the moment he slotted his lips into yours, holding his hat up to act as a shield from certain prying eyes. You didn’t hesitate to pull him in closer, your lashes fluttering shut as you savored what you felt like you had been missing for an eternity. Chuuya’s eyes were shut in concentration, his heart thrumming with delight at the familiar sensation of your lips molded against his own. Chuuya didn’t pull away until you were both light-headed from the lack of air. Cheeks flooded with warmth, looking at each other as if you were the only two people in the entire world. “I missed you so fucking much, you know that?” Chuuya’s voice was low as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. The two of you stood straight, lingering in each other’s embrace for a moment longer. Chuuya lightly tossed his hat inside the car and once more gestured with his arm out for you to enter first. The satisfied smile on his lips morphed into one of slight perplexion when you didn’t show a reaction, raising your fingertips to brush over your lips. “Chuuya?” you questioned, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He replied with your name, all the more puzzled when you let out an incredulous chuckle. “Since when are your teeth so sharp?” 

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹ a/n: Thank you so much for reading! Have a day/night/morning/evening as lovely as yourself. tagging: @judasgot-it (I noticed that I wrote down that I agreed to tag you for chuuya fics but I can't seem to remember why?? TwT please tell me if this is incorrect! Thank you <3)

[postcardsfromheapside]

I need to be salty for a hot second about people who are upset about aspects of Lucanis' romance.

I'll put everything else under the break for spoilers, but in general, I am so disappointed in a large portion of this fanbase who apparently thought "disaster" meant "romantasy," but also it's in keeping with how a lot of people seem unable to put things in context.

One of the complaints I keep seeing run past is that the scene where you commit to a relationship with Lucanis seems pefunctory, or out of the blue, there's nothing really romantic about it, it's too similar to the platonic route, etc, etc, ETC.

I romanced Emmrich, but I've seen other people's versions of romancing Lucanis. I'm just going to kind of word vomit here, and hope I can come up with something cohesive.

As someone who id's with Lucanis for "generational abuse" and "dumpster fire disaster bi" and "using socially acceptable drugs as coping mechanisms in place of addressing your problems" reasons, it's been really fucking annoying watching the almost deliberate misinterpretation of his character even after Mary Kirby dropped several explanations on social media. It's like a large part of the fanbase saw all that and turned into the "yes yes, very sad...anyway!" meme and went right on fetishizing him...then got mad when he didn't turn into the seductive Dom with wings they were hoping for.

You commit to Lucanis after (what I consider) a very intense scene inside his "mind prison." He's struggling so much internally that Spite wrests control of his body from him in front of witnesses and begs Rook to help them. Lucanis would never ask Rook to do so on his own, he's terrible at asking for the help he truly needs. Spite drags Rook into the Fade Ossuary and demands they free Lucanis from his self-imposed prison. And whether you're a friend or would-be lover, Rook slowly talks Lucanis out of a host of self doubts regarding his family and friends. Can he trust himself not to hurt other people, now that he's saddled with this affliction? Has he disappointed the people he cares about most? Do these new people he's coming to care about actually trust and care about him? The rooms are filled with fragmented thoughts that peter out into regrets. You're literally seeing Lucanis' fractured and complicated emotions.

One of them tore a hole straight through me: "You'd have to kill me...And Spite would die."

You'd have to kill him to get rid of the demon. And he'd regret the death of the demon that's protected him and given him strength, through a brutal year of betrayal and torment. I don't know if y'all remember the scenes in the Ossuary of the failed experiments and the corpses you had to pass to get to his jar of blood. It wasn't fun.

When you break out of the mind prison after helping him bond with Spite, it's intimate and momentous, even on a platonic route. You've seen desperate and lonely parts of him he'd never willingly show anyone.

As you're convincing Lucanis that it's okay to leave his mind-prison, you tell him you understand that it's easier to deal with problems like the Ossuary and Zara than healing and living with Spite, potentially hurting people he cares about. But he wants to. It's Rook's job to help him see a path out, a way for him to make the struggle easier so he can begin to heal himself.

I need to stress: you aren't "fixing" him. You're acting as his lighthouse, regardless of whether you're a friend or a lover. Sometimes people need help. He's still going to have to do the work to get there.

As a friend, it was extremely rewarding to come back to the kitchen and see him doing exactly as I'd hoped: moving on with the business of *living*. He made a nice dinner for everyone he's come to care for, and a special dessert for Neve. Cooking is where Lucanis finds creativity, and comfort, and connection with his friends and family. He isn't very good with words, but he will note everything you consume, and try to make you feel loved by expressing it that way.

Which is why I think it's important you don't dismiss the commitment on the romantic route. He remembers YOUR favorite drink and makes YOU a special dessert if you're romancing him. Lucanis isn't going to get poetic. You've already made him feel raw. You've seen the ugly, embarassing parts of him. What is he supposed to say? Usually it takes Spite reaching through his body to actually be direct. Instead, Lucanis reaches for food, his favorite medium, to try and apologize for inadvertently showing you those things, to thank you for helping him despite seeing what he considers the most shameful parts of him. Your commitment is letting him know that you value him, that he has nothing to be ashamed of, that you understand what he's trying to express with his struggling communication skills, which appear to get better as your relationship progresses from there.

It's weird that some of y'all don't feel that this is heartfelt and important, because you'd rather him act out some sensuous fantasy trope. It's also weird that some of you haven't figured out that many scenes in RPG's can be similar on platonic and romantic routes with tweaks to shade context.

(Also just in case this comes up: cooking is not his "love language" - that whole concept was invented by a misogynistic weirdo and we should remove it from our ideas of communication)

Anyway, this guy is my Rook's bestie and I'll go down swinging for him, you should appreciate the fuck out of him and stop acting like his writer didn't craft a perfectly funny little weirdo who is bad at showing people his tender parts and terrible at interpersonal relationships.

[thejack-ofalltrades]

WITCHLIGHT EP 58 (the newest one)

⚠️SPOILERS ⚠️

I love talking about all the things that had me dying so here we go

When figuring out who should sit on the chair, Gideon said he thought kremy was also thinking about them putting the child on the chair.

Gideon said he's been strapped down and shocked for fun before (not beating those masochist allegations gid) and kremy trying to hush gid and to "not tell people that"

Frost being very salty/petty with gideon even though torbek confessed to being the first person to throw a rock lmao.

Frost saying they should bludgeon gideon with rocks

Gricko being smaller than the kid

Gricko and gid fighting over who would go into the hole/cave (gricko calling gid a bitch and gid going first out of anger lmao)

Frost not wanting to help gid when he got stuck

Kremy trying to push gid through with his cane

The Lil frost backstory/info we get between him and torbek (with being open to talk about what torbek has seen cause frost has also seen it)

Gideon telling them to send either gricko or frost through next (knowing there's spiders cause he's annoyed with them lmao)

Kremy knowing gideons lying about there not being spiders

Kremy REFUSING to go in because of spiders

Kremy arguing with his shadow

Kremys shadow scaring off the spiders (whole scene was just cool)

Torbek raising a hand to be called on and kremy really trying to look anywhere but at him

The (Yawn) yon joke >that Derek has made multiple times but was acknowledged when mikey did it lmao<

Kremy being fae cursed to be the embodiment of greed (nothing changed)

The troll toll (that whole scene was really really funny) and torbek punching gricko in the face

Gid being fae cursed to coughing up blood and kremy being really worried about him and talking about them retiring in Tahiti

The flower wiping blood off gids face and gid saying "thanks, you probably have something now" and "I'd shake ur hand but I'm extremely confident on where I'd been so I won't do it" (mace leaning Gideon into being way more of a sex pest than before has me in tears went from lady's man who sleep around to openly talking about kinks and making dirty jokes and I love it)

Torbeks tent being ass (even though it's suppose to be whatever they want it to be >poor guy might not think he deserves good things or maybe he's unlucky<)

The talking toilet makes a return (poor frost)

Then everything in frosts tent being alive

Pixie wives mentioned and Gideons protection joke in refrence to the fae (condom joke) and gricko asking about busty lmao

Kremys haggling for the tents and gricko messing it up and almost loosing hootsie

Frost going back unto his tent "I'm back everyone"

Kremy buying the tents with teeth and nails

Kremy asking gricko how badly he wants the tent when they need more teeth and gid already cracking his knuckles

Gricko taking forever to answer and kremy "gid would you kindly" "Well, here we go" from gid before punching gricko

Gricko sounding like the Don after getting teeth punched out

Quinoa getting stuck in grickos gum holes

Dame of unhappy endings >everyone saying to each other to be cool< and trying not to laugh or make jokes and failing

There's still no French dressing sauce

Being told the witch has shears that can separate you from ur shadow and kremy looking down "you hear that?" To his own shadow

Kremys akwardness talking about how it's rare to see people who can control shadows and whatnot (this arc will be peak for kremy, I can just feel it)

[pookietv]

friend's best friend | george clarke

this was a rec! smau where george meets max's best friend (and maybe simps a little)

liked by georgeclarkeey, andrew_spanndy and 3,496 others

yourusername: he told me we were going out for a walk and a coffee, ended up in the pub at 3pm

max_balegde: you were literally the one that said it was pint weather

↳ yourusername: all weather is pint weather with the right mindset

andrew_spanndy: getting a drunk call from max at 5pm was not what i had expected x

↳ yourusername: i told you that he has to be kept on a leash :/

liked by yourusername, andrew_spanndy and 8,839 others. tagged yourusername

max_balegde: she forced me to go outside and experience nature

yourusername: you're the laziest person i know i had to force you outside somehow

↳ max_balegde: untrue and rude

↳ yourusername: you literally had to be set a fitness challenge to start going outside

georgeclarkeey: not another thirty minute walk max

↳ yourusername: to be fair it was a couple hours long

↳ georgeclarkeey: please don't enable him

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 4,857 others

yourusername: not going to tell you guys what i did today but i can indeed say it was very useless ;)

username: omg are we finally getting y/n on useless hotline ???

max_balegde: never talking to you again after today x

↳ yourusername: you're just salty i told the stories andrew was too scared to x

↳ andrew_spanndy: did you tell the spain story??

↳ yourusername: you already know i had to tell the spain story x

liked by yourusername, georgeclarkeey and 17,830 others. tagged yourusername

theuselesshotlinepod: Max's Best Friend Y/N talks Max's Embarrassing Moments, Dating and More in This Weeks Episode! (Dressed as 1920s Reporters, for some reason)

yourusername: still very confused as to why you made me dress up, but thanks for having me on!

↳ max_baledge: we honestly thought it would be funnier then it was

View 2,835 comments

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 4,279 others

yourusername: when max promises me that we will have a quiet one and i end up plastered and dragged to the kebab shop with arthur and george

georgeclarkeey: you're lucky i shared my chips

↳ yourusername: you literally dragged me there what do u MEAN lucky ??

↳ georgeclarkeey: next time buy your own then x

arthurtv: to be fair it was mostly george that insisted you join at the kebab shop

↳ yourusername: true true but you played a part in the peer pressure

max_balegde: so this is where george dragged u when he made you leave ??

↳ arthurhfhill: i honestly thought they were leaving to do something else

↳ yourusername: @/arthurhfhill please never comment on my instagram again

liked by georgeclarkeey, max_balegde and 5,739 others

yourusername: george thought it would be funny to mock me

georgeclarkeey: it is a little funny to mock you

georgeclarkeey: plus, i did pay so i'm allowed to mock you

↳ yourusername: since when are they the rules?

↳ georgeclarkeey: since i paid and i wanted to mock you

usernameone: they went out alone and he paid ??

max_balegde: when i literally get excluded from my only two friends going out together

↳ yourusername: sorry next time i promise u can come on a date we will be a great throuple x

↳ usernametwo: THEY'RE ON A DATE????

liked by georgeclarkeey, max_balegde and 7,730 others

yourusername: guess who finally got a girlfriend (spoiler, it's this prick)

georgeclarkeey: i have never looked more attractive

↳ yourusername: i think the bloody cheerleeder fit and no eyebrow must have topped this x

↳ georgeclarkeey: brb about to post the worst photos of you ever x

↳ yourusername: okay you go do that then x

↳ georgeclarkeey: okay there aren't any bad photos of you i lied

arthurtv: jeeez whose that fine fella

↳ yourusername: no clue i found him on the street, he's free to a good home

[cosmerelists]

Stormlight Archive Characters Go to a Ren Faire

Cosmere characters at Ren Faire requested by @jupiter-dragonsong :) (You seem to be a Stormlight Archive fan so I thought I'd concentrate there!)

If Stormlight Archive characters could magically attend a ren faire from our world, how would that experience be?

[One very mild WAT spoiler in #8: Yanagawn]

1. Shallan: Insists that everyone go in costume

She is greeted by...varying levels of enthusiasm.

Shallan: Adolin, you'll of course be a knight in chainmail. Adolin: This looks great! Shallan: Kaladin, you're the mysterious, gnarled old wizard with a staff. Kaladin: S-Stop giving me weird ear hair! Shallan: And Elhokar, you're going to wear this beautiful noble woman's gown. Elhokar: Am I in disguise again? Shallan: To be honest, you just really pull it off. Elhokar: I do, don't I?

2. Adolin: Has a great time with the play duels

You can see him in the arena, wailing on like nine other people with his foam sword, laughing uproariously.

Kaladin: [in the stands, hands clenched] Any...second...now... Shallan: I really don't think Adolin is going to need your help this time. Kaladin: He's fighting a huge group of people! Shallan: The swords are made of foam! Kaladin: But... Shallan: Just sit down!

3. Sadeas: Finds the jousting terribly boring

Sadeas is dressed in full costume, by the way. (Even Adolin admits that he looks amazing.)

Sadeas: Really? They're using their blunted lances to knock targets off of strings? Sadeas: Where's the danger? Where's the intensity? Dalinar: It's important that they not injure their soldiers in a play duel. What if there's a war? Sadeas: ... Sadeas: I don't even know where to start with you.

4. Lift: Has been eating a turkey leg for 30 minutes now

To be fair, it is the size of her head.

Wyndle: Do you...like it though? Lift: Dry...tough...salty at first and then bland all the way through... Lift: It's great! Wyndle: I-I can never understand you!

5. Syl: Is mesmerized by all of the cool costumes

It's been an hour, and so far she hasn't done anything except flit around staring at people.

Syl: Wow! That girl has fairy wings! Syl: And that guy has a huge hat with gears on it! Syl: Those boots go all the way up to their THIGH! Adolin: Gear-hat, thigh-high boots, fairy wings... Syl, you look AMAZING! Syl: I'm finding inspiration everywhere!

6. Rock: Is really taken by those shops that sell the huge metal tankards

You know, the ones that are metal with cool designs 'n' stuff.

Rock: The beer is weak but the tankard is HUGE! Lopen: Y-Yeah! -hic- So weak that I'm gonna keep up with you this time! Sigzil: Oh...we're carrying Lopen home, aren't we? Rock: Ha ha we sure are!

7. Elhokar: Can't stop buying little dragon figurines

Once he hit the booths, it was over for Elhokar.

Elhokar: [Peering at a plastic dragon that is holding a crystal ball] Elhokar: I don't know why I like this little dragon figurines so much... But I can't stop buying them... Elhokar: Oooh, that one's greenish-purple AND its eyes light up!! Hoid: I dated a dragon, once... Elhokar: Not now, Wit!

8. Yanagawn: Discovers D&D

They're always lots of people there selling dice & other D&D merch.

Yanagawn: Adolin, Adolin! I discovered another cool war game! Yanagawn: Only in this one, you can be a WIZARD! Adolin: I'm in.

9. Jasnah: Buys a period-appropriate costume while there

Jasnah cares about Looking Right, and so she'd definitely buy one of those expensive Ren Faire outfits they always have on sale.

Jasnah: Well, this corset certainly...accents things. Shallan: P-Please, I'm already bisexual!

10. Gavinor: Is the most serious child there

Navani thought Gavinor should have some fun in his life, but the five-year-old is sure...solemn about everything.

Gavinor: That man in the stocks... What a crime he must have committed... Navani: No, no, it's just an actor, Gav! Gavinor: Acting is a crime? Gavinor: I understand. Gavinor: Now his freedom is gone. And soon his life. Navani: ...Maybe we should go pet the sheep some more...

[assortedshrift]

Captivated by the twst yandereverse au!!

Help! I’ve been sucked back into yandere twst content, specifically the yandereverse au written by @thatnonameuser. Just checked back into The Red King holds a Bleeding Head after being off tumblr for a while and chapters 9 and 10 totally blindsided me. I very much recommend their series to any yandere enjoyers!!

Some thoughts I had while reading the last two chapters (major spoilers)

ch9

Darling being considered an insult in Heartslabyul is one of those worldbuilding tidbits that I love to see. It makes sense that Heartslabyul, and probably Rose Queendom, would stereotype darlings as disorderly and in need of constant correction. 

Like oh, darlings are just naturally less disciplined than yanderes, so calling a misbehaving yandere ‘darling’ implies they’re no better than the people they are supposed to be managing.

Also imagine being a darling and hearing your friend/SO call another person darling with the same tone of someone saying a slur. Idk why but it's super funny to me.

Also again, from the flashbacks I'm guessing that the King of Hearts probably took advantage of this to some extent and played off any disobedience as being ditzy and unorganized. But not too often though, or the Queen goes from “oh you silly darling” to “this leash is for your own sake”.

(omg coming back to this because just remembered that Crewel is from the Queendom of Roses and mr “whips are great accessories” definitely made a fashion line of darling-safe collars and leashes)

Also Trey was so unsubtle with the desserts. Clover, please, you can't say your pro darlings rights while watching them eat food that you drugged!

Trey’s parents definitely taught him how to mix drugs into baked sweets and he definitely got a lot of practice with his darling brother and sister. I bet that at some point the siblings have/will catch on to the scheme but like, what can you do about it? 

*annoyed sigh* Big bro Trey noticed me stressing out over my entrance exam so I’m probably gonna get the sedative brownies tonight.

And after Riddle’s overblot he might even consider branching out to some of the dorm members once in a while. ADeuce being yandere in this au makes them like 63% more feral and I would definitely be tempted to sedate them once in a while.

Speaking of our besties, I really like how Grim, Ace, and Deuce are being portrayed. Yes they're yanderes in a society that promotes violence for the sake of love. But they're still single braincelled goofs who just want to hang out with you. 

Ch 10

The MOMENT the author mentioned a metallic scent I KNEW that wasn't normal pet food!!! And Grim eating it… oof!! If he wasn't just as enthusiastic about eating everything including literal grass I would be a bit more scared!

Gotta admit I was feeling stressed out when reader shouted at ADeuce. Like, we know that this is a school for magical villainous yanderes, I just knew someone was gonna overhear. In a way it's probably a good thing that we were almost immediately confronted by Cater who kinda owes us after the overblot, that could have gone a lot worse.

Additionally, I like how Cater’s canon aversion to his sisters is incorporated into this verse while also doing a bit of worldbuilding in how a family in a yandere society would act. Honestly I’m a sucker for worldbuilding.

Riddle was sweet here, But this section also caused the greatest dissonance between me and the reader-character. I would absolutely be salty about the fact that Riddle shouted our darling status like that. Dude put us in serious danger and I’d want to hold it over his head. Going forward, every time he tries to lecture us about safety I’d say “Well it would be a lot safer if SOMEONE hadn't announced my status to the whole world,” which is definitely a bad idea that would build up to a yandere-style meltdown later. TLDR reader probably made the right call in how they responded to Riddle asking for forgiveness.

I know that as the audience we have access to knowledge that the reader-character dosent, but I was low-key cringing (in a fun way) during the interaction with Trey. 

“... have you met your darling, Trey?”

“Yes, I think I already have.”

YeS, i ThInK i AlReAdY hAvE. Trey you mischievous rat (affectionate).

Oh hey, its Che'nya!

Dang, your really gonna narc on Trey like that huh?

The execution was a harsh reminder that we can't treat our friends here like we would in the normal world. A straightforward bitch-fest resulting in a couple of body bags is horrifying, but Chenya did us a solid, even if his reason was almost as horrifying as the murders. 

But now that I know he's stalking us I can imagine the reader (if she becomes desensitized) could get used to an invisible companion she can (sort-of) let her guard down around and complain to him about the NRA boy’s ghoulish acts. 

Speaking of, I wonder if the original Cheshire Cat intended for a scenario like that with Winston, but was thwarted when their snooping was discovered and the Queen decided to go full mask off.

[jellojelli]

Aventurine Boyfriend Headcanons

*a/n: I'll never not be salty that he's the only stoneheart I'm missing right now. I could've had the three available, but no, I took a break during his run time*

As always, 🛑Minors DNI🛑

SFW

Aventurine as a boyfriend can feel kind of hot and cold

everyday is different with him, and that can be very challenging. Will you get you're sweet Kakavasha? Or the cocky and arrogant Stoneheart?

Nobody knows. Not even him.

So if you really want this man you have to be paitent and willing to adapt and help him through his somewhat toxic behaviors. Because lets face it, they can be very toxic at times

This is because of his past and the insecurities they gave him when it came to dealing with other people. I mean, he was told when he was young that his worth was only 30 copper coins, and why would someone like you want to stay with someone like him? Especially with the brand he has on his neck

If you're willing to help him or at least just be there for him during his cold phases you'll have his heart forever. I mean that. Aventurine can be the biggest sap in the entire universe if you let him be

Not only can he be a sap, he's a big spoiler. Every credit he has is basically yours at this point

Constantly wiring money to you, bringing home gifts after missions, taking you shopping even though your closet couldn't possibly fit even one more thing, Aventurine does it all, no credit is wasted if it's for you

that being said, he enjoys giving you handmade things too. At first it was sort of like a test, see if you only like him for his money, but once he sees that you love the gift just as much or even more than the bought stuff his walls are crumbling and are in shambles

God forbid you make him something

It could be a little origami made from a gum wrapper and he keeps it on him like it's made of gold or soemthing

and if you make anything that requires a lot of effort, skill, and/or time? Aeons above help whoever he speaks to Ratio and Topaz

He will not, and i repeat, WILL NOT shut up about whatever you've made for him. And if he can bring it with? Yeah, it's another good luck charm no matter if it's a little cumbersome

They wish he'd stop talking and showing pictures of the same thing everyday

I see him as someone to keep a photo of you in his wallet. He goes on missions for a long time sometimes, and he can't always video call you, so the picture in his wallet will have to do

Don't get your hopes up that its something sappy and cute, its the ugliest sleeping photo of you you've ever seen. Hair in knots, drool, face smushed into the bed, and you're in the craziest pose you've ever seen

But he loves that photo the most and he will fight you for the right to keep it in his wallet so don't even try to replace it or take it away from him, you wouldn't win anyways

Don't even think about getting into danger around him or telling him about something stupid you want/have done. He will literally drag you back home and either prevent you from going, or scold you for having done the thing. and if you somehow manage to convince him to do the dangerous thing, he's coming with and shielding you up so much that it's not even a challenge for you anymore

Another thing, because he can sometimes try to push you away you both get into fights on ocassion. Don't take it to heart, he doesn't even mean anything he says, he just subconsiously thinks that you're going to leave him for someone he deems better i mean, you have been hanging around that doc recently....what if you like him more?

He's punching himself in the face though after every mean word he says, so don't even worry about him not feeling bad about the fight or his words, because he feels awful and stupid and he's damn near begging you not to leave him over it

Kakavasha just loves you too much....

NSFW

This man right here is nasty nasty bro

like one second he'll have you against the wall fucking into you like an animal and the next your face is pressed into the mattress as the entire bed shakes and slams against the wall rip your neighbors rest if you live in an apartment

He doesn't consider it a successful fuck unless you can't walk and can't remember anything other than his name, if you can still talk, you can give him another <3

This man is probably into everything under the sun and more

I'm talking toys, hair pulling, spitting, spanking, degrading, praise, if you can think it, he's probably into it tbh

Would he overstimulate you or edge you?

Both

he'd edge you until you're basically crying and then make you cum so much you think you're about to pass away

This man, this man right here, is a certified m u n c h

He'd eat you out breakfast, lunch, and dinner if you'd really let him

His favorite for giving oral is any position where he can keep you anchored right on his mouth so you can't squirm away

Don't even try it hon, he'll grip your hips so hard it bruises and pull you back, giving you a look like you just called him a bitch and slapped him

dear aeons above and below he loves using toys on you

any toy is good enough for him, no matter if you want him to use it on you, or if you want to use it on him

that's another thing, this man can dom and sub with ease. He has no issue doing either or both in a night, whatever it takes to get you to cum is on the table

Fuck/peg this man

he will wimper, he will whine, and he will be a brat the entire time you're pushing into him

And all those kinks he's into? That's not just one way. Every kink he'd do to you, you can do to him without question

Safe word is probably something dumb that he thought of at work instead of working... like IPC, or stonehearts...He's lame but it sure will snap either of you out of it

Aftercare king and you can't convince me otherwise

He knows he can go rough, and maybe just a tad over the top, so you're getting the princess/prince treatment after you guys have sex

Bath, water, food, all the softest clothing he's ever bought you, fresh silk sheets before you lay back down, a massage, you name it, he's on it

Pillow talk for sure, he just likes to hear you talk, doesn't have to be anything serious or thought out, you can literally just ask him if he'd still love you as a worm and he'd be happy to answer <3

It's no btw <3

Masterlist