#i'm very excited to see how things will all play out
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Astarion’s first bite: Vampirism in a nutshell
As a person who's spent the better part of their life consuming and analyzing various vampire media, I'd like to stop and appreciate the first time Astarion feeds from Tav. The scene, however brief, is simply delicious.
(I know it's probably already been written a thousand times all over the Internet, but I'm playing the game for the first time, let me have my fun.)
Vampire bite has been portrayed in a million different ways in popular culture. As an avid TTRPG player, I am probably the most used to the idea of Vampire the Masquerade’s ‘Kiss’: there, the act is generally intensely pleasurable for mortals, putting them in a state of daze that some even liken to orgasm, but victims retain hazy memories of it at best. It’s not unheard of for people to get addicted to the feeling and become so-called blood dolls, purposefully seeking out vampires just to experience the high again. Oh, and the bitemarks? No worries! All it takes is for the vampire to lick the wound after they're done feeding and the skin instantly heals.
I love VtM, but I'm glad this is not the case with Astarion.
The game makes a clear statement: being fed on by a vampire isn't a sexy or pleasurable thing. Even if Astarion tries to be civil about it, and Tav gives consent, this is still very much a predatory act, a physical intrusion. It's painful – like a shard of ice into your neck – and leaves the character weakened.
And Tav stays conscious for the entire time, gritting their teeth, trying to look at Astarion and figure out what exactly is happening to their neck. No haze to dull the memories, no painkillers or sedatives, no nothing. Sorry, Tav; you have to go through this acutely aware of every single sensation.
This contrasts profoundly with what the ‘pale elf’ is experiencing. While Tav feels pain and gets a very telling, brand new ugly wound, the vampire pulls away, clearly intoxicated and even incredulous. That was amazing. (...) I feel… happy!
This opposition is further emphasized by the game systems, namely the conditions the two characters receive. Tav becomes Bloodless, suffering a penalty to rolls etc. A classic victim of vampire bite: sluggish, strangely pale, with mysterious punctures on their neck… It's almost a pity we can't choose to decorate Tav’s tent with a garlic wreath.
Astarion, on the other hand, doesn't become, I don't know, Invigorated, or Sated, or Bloated As a Tick. No, the focus is again on him being… Happy. Not empowered (although he clearly is), but simply happy for the first time in gods know how long, as opposed to him being constantly on edge, on the run, and fighting for survival. He experiences a moment of bliss. This is a gift.
Thus the scene presents various facets of the vampire myth in a nutshell. Because what is a vampire? It's an animalistic monster who preys on humanity (cut to the painful wound on the neck and gritted teeth). It's a deceptively civil and charming individual, often tragic and very self aware (cut to Astarion asking for permission, saying how he's only ever fed on vermin or stating he won't forget the kindness). It's a blood junkie (cut to Astarion experiencing the rush of excitement and ‘happiness’). It's a parasite, because even if the feeding is consensual, we can clearly see which side reaps the benefits, and which is left weakened with nothing in exchange.
Oh, the complexity of the vampiric condition.
(The fact that vampiric bite is often a metaphor for sexual act isn't lost here, even if it's not the focus; it becomes more pronounced later, when Astarion reluctantly admits You were my first. Which, depending on the angle, may render the whole thing an even darker shade.)
And let me say again, all of this is packed neatly into a single, pretty brief scene. I love this game already.
PS The screenshots feature Yae, my half-elven goolock/bladelock. Say hello to him!
Thanks for reaching the end of the note! Please bear in mind I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3 for the first time and I haven't played any of the origin stories yet. Feel free to let me know if you think some things can be viewed differently in the context of the full game, but please avoid spoilers while doing so.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#bg3 astarion#vampires#vampirism#opinion piece#vampire the masquerade#vtm#bg3
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x men and marvel characters (wolverine, daredevil, gambit, nightcrawler, etc) with transmasc boyfriend.... please i beg of you
anon i see you i see you i'm thanking you for this. i just ran with this i hope its to your liking
MARVEL IMAGINES WITH TRANSMASC BOYFRIEND
content: religion mention (majority positively), medical/social transition implied, dysphoria, transphobia
Wolverine:
For someone almost 200 years old, he has a bit to learn upon meeting you
Obviously Morph is a help with this + definitely had to give him a PowerPoint presentation
His view of masculinity somewhat is skewed but he is very insistent on treating you like a man because you identify as a man and if that means anything to you then it means something to him
Flannels! He absolutely gives you his baggy coats when you make a comment on needing more masculine clothes (not to mention the smell that his clothes leave on you is a big plus, so sue him, okay?)
Workout regiment is always taken care of and you never skip chest and arm day
He calls you "darlin'" once and then immediately goes "aw shit" because it might be too "lady-like" (his words) but he gets over it very quickly
Mutant hate? He understands all too well. Transphobia? Whole new ballgame, but it makes him just as mad. As in, he has no problem almost kabobbing someone who makes a comment about you going into a bathroom when he takes you out to one of his preferred bars
He soon realizes after that that maybe you need better hangouts and though he doesn't think the beer is as good at the other places, it's worth it to him
To him, assholes like that are no less ignorant than those who attack mutants because its all the same so he gets feisty on the defense
Once when the body dysphoria is real bad, like the kind when mirrors are the worst thing in the world and everything feels gross and tight, he listens and holds you very tightly and though he can't understand half of it, he does understand self-hatred and it hurts him something fierce
So he'll go out of his way at that point to make it known that you are one of strongest guys he knows because you're going through change and sticking to yourself and he loves it about you
He offhandedly once mentions using his claws for top surgery in an attempt to be funny and neither of you know how to react in that moment but it actually is kind of funny much later
Nightcrawler:
Much more up to speed than some others
He's not unused to the ideas of the intricacies and ideas of gender from his time in the circus and seeing the different lifestyles at play there
There's some trepidation on some people's parts about how Kurt will react considering his religion and the history, but it very hardly factors in
Very flirtatious after he gets the okay to move forward even if it's new to him
Does everything he would try to do with his previous lovers; he loves flowers that remind him of you
Constantly trying to involve you in things that he enjoys that he would hope you enjoy
Movie nights are a favorite of his and even if they end up being more modern, he's always willing to give it a chance
Kurt of all people knows what it is like to be judged and ridiculed for how you look or how people perceive someone
Body positivity is a huge part for him; complimenting your frame, your body hair, your hands
After all, his own body is not what many would consider normal, but it is still his and he accepts it, so he'll literally be damned if he can't help with that
His whole thing is finding someone new that's nice to say every day (which isn't very hard for him, tbh)
When he hears you accept any of it he gets so excited that his tail wags and he peppers you with kisses that sometimes have little nips from his fangs but they're all gentle
Loves to take you up to the top of the X-Mansion to have semi-romantic getaways and look out at the night sky and think of things far beyond where you both are right now, though he know he is happiest right at your side
Gambit:
Meets you when you first arrive to the mansion and is instantly drawn to you
Ever the gentleman while he's trying to get to know you, almost like chivalry is his default no matter the gender
After you first confess your feelings his favorite card becomes his King of Hearts
You tell him it's cheesy but he is happy that you approve
He leaves it with you the first time he goes on a mission and though he didn't doubt that you would lose it, he is so happy when he sees you kept it you can literally feel his kinetic energy reserves when he kisses you deep
His favorite is on those rare occasions where you get to dress up, whether it's for a party or infiltrating something
He loves trying to find coordinating or inverse outfits accessories if that's the case (nothing huge, but small ways to show that you two are together)
Pet names constantly
He works with his hands often so he uses them constantly to explore your body and he has magic fingers in many ways
You're so perfect to him in every way imaginable
Matt Murdock:
You meet Matt in Josie's a while after moving to the area in a new area to "start fresh"
It's not that he hustles you but you don't expect to lose at pool to him
He's very charming and easy to learn from and it takes a while but eventually you do get together
Walks around the neighborhood as an excuse to get to know things end up being tiny dates
Foggy and Karen exchanging tiny looks over Matt's boyfriend but very happy for him
You're unaware of his double life but do end up having to fuss over his scrapes
Eventually you have to explain to him and it's awkward but he just seems to take you in without seeing you and he smiles a bit and its okay from then on
You think he's just super understanding and forgiving but no he's actually known for a while
He's been very perceptive of changes in you as you transition further; he knows when you just had a T shot from how you body is working just a bit harder because of it, when your voice gets a bit deeper between the times he sees you
He also had to do a background check because you can't be too careful at this point
But though it's insanely new to him since he hasn't been with a man, he does love you with no shame
He knows what you look like vaguely but always asks anyway because he wants you to explain what you see of yourself
Always very seriously and not seriously ready to remind you that he is part of fine law firm should you need to win a case against someone at the slightest complaint
You always feel safe and seen, in a way, with him, and it never really changes
‐----------------------
I hope you enjoyed this! If you did, feel free to request more like this or a fic! Requests are open and I have masterpost here and a list of characters and ships I'd write for here. Thanks for reading!
(Also lmk if any of these are interesting enough you'd want to see more of, bc the Matt and Kurt ones I would definitely be open to making a fic so stay tuned if it happens.)
#my writing#imagines#marvel#daredevil#matt murdock#logan howlett#wolverine#gambit#gambit xmen#kurt wagner#nightcrawler#marvel mcu#x reader#trans male#trans masc
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"In this unboxing video, I'm going to open up my Library Doll!"
"Miss Gigi is, of course, a limited edition Dolly, because there's only one. It's 5'8" tall, and the packaging is very nice. Collector's edition. It's in a nice little boxed case with this Magnificent artwork of a gorgeous Dolly on the front. She's a Beautiful, Porcelain Doll, with a fat build, a cute little cock, purple hair, and glasses. She does have a ton of outfits available, which are sold separately. The overall shape of the box is designed to look like a book, complete with little indents on the side resembling pages. and the flap is the cover."
"Now, the cover latches tight with velcro, and if you open it, you see, instead of the pages of the book, here It is. She's packaged very neatly, behind a plastic mirror, and her entire body is intact, no assembly required accept for the accessories. You can already see how well-sculpted she is, from the contours of porcelain flesh to all the lovely points of articulation. You can Its accessories in there too, a collar and a pair of bunny ears, like It's wearing on the cover art."
"Now, I'm just gonna carefully slice open the little stickers keeping It shut with my claws, like so, I don't want to damage this box, since it's so nice, but thankfully it's not hard to get in."
"And I'm just gonna slide It out..."
"Behind her packaging, we've got her instruction manual, that's super hefty, so many mantras and forms… I'm excited to play around with all of them. And awww, that's cute! Certificate of Ownership, one Magnificent Miss Gigi! Yay!!! Just gonna write my name there real quick…"
"Done! Property of the Goddess of Predators! Hee hee hee..."
"She's tied into the plastic packing material with a bunch of twist ties, these things are always so annoying, and I right? But thankfully there's not too many, or many rubber bands, I honestly think those are worse. I'm just gonna pop out her accessories real quick.. I've got her collar, it clicks like a real collar, and it looks like there's a hook for a leash to attach. There's her ears, those are too cute for words. Oh, and I didn't see this, there's a little baggy with her glasses! Nice!"
"So, now I've just gotta pop It out…"
(I press against the back of the plastic…)
Pop!!!
"It comes out Perfectly!"
"That's always so satisfying, isn't it? And look, It stands so well! Its joints aren't too loose, though apparently there is a limp mode…"
"Fuck, It's Gorgeous, isn't it? All those wonderful forms and modes and functions, but even the base is just, stunning! From her Sweet Scampish grinning face, to its soft porcelain belly, cute tits, and delightful little clitty… ooh, dripping already! And so warm to the touch, I could just bask on It forever…"
"Let me just put on Its collar and Its Glasses and her ears and…"
"Ta da!!!!"
"Oh, and It smells so good too…"
"Isn't it Perfect? The Ultimate Toy!"
"My Treasure. My Grail. My Toybox, all in one."
"My Magnificent Miss Gigi Doll…"
"I'm in… Love!"
"I think, I need a minute, girls."
"My patrons will get to see the aftermath of this video…"
"And trust me, you won't want to miss it!!!"
"Miss Gigi, the Library Doll!!!!!"
@gothgengargirl
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@ivyace I did indeed see you mention a regressor Charles and that I will attempt my very best!
Headcanon: Charles doesn't understand why he's in a wheelchair all of a sudden.
Before the whole Beach Incident, Charles regressed happily with Erik, always bouncing behind him with a grin. It didn't matter what the other man was doing, Charles would be trailing closely behind without a fuss before getting distracted by something and trying to tug Erik in the direction of that object. If they were outside, Erik knew that Charles had probably found a bug of some type. The boy would take the bug and declare it their new friend and go ask Hank about what it was. However, if they were inside, Charles typically found anything, usually something forgotten and hidden behind a table or bookshelf. He usually had an expression of triumph when he grabbed a particularly difficult item that had been wedged deep.
"Look what I found!" He would say, running up to Erik with whatever he had found, happily thrusting it in front of the other's face. "Is pretty, right? I foun' it behind the- the uh... the thing with the- that thing!" He'd usually give up trying to figure out where he had found it before pointing it out for Erik to piece together.
"I see." Erik would reply with a smile. "Is it going with your collection of special items you have found before?" Charles would always nod with an ecstatic squeal before leaving to put it away with the other things he had found. The excitement never waned and Erik wouldn't have it any other way.
Sometime after the Beach Incident when Charles and Erik had made-up and accepted the fact Charles would never walk again, did Charles accidentally regress. Unfortunately, the regressor didn't understand why he suddenly couldn't move his legs and had to stay in a wheelchair, his tears slipping down his face.
"Bu- W- Why can't I move my legs? What happened? Papa, please!" He cried, his face reddened as he pleaded with Erik to let him understand what happened. Erik could only stare with a sadness, how could he explain it without Charles fearing him? Charles had called him 'Papa' after-all, he couldn't reveal that he was the reason he couldn't walk anymore. "Papa, I wanna move! Papa, please!"
"Charles, you.. bigger you had an accident and now you have to use a wheelchair, okay?" He didn't exactly lie but it was enough that it didn't reveal him to be the reason. He wiped at Charles tears, gently cupping his face. "We can still have fun though, I promise. We can still go outside and play with the bugs, you can still explore the mansion." Erik explained, showing Charles that they could still do everything they had done before, but in a wheelchair.
"P'omise?" Charles hiccupped in response, trying to clear his tears from his face.
"I promise." Erik replied, looking gently into Charles' wide and teary eyes. "We can still have all the fun in the world even if you're in a wheelchair. Papa can even carry you if you want me to, I'm giving you special rights nobody else in the mansion will ever get." He smiled at Charles' eyes lighting up at the idea of Erik carrying him. Even regressed, he knew that Erik carrying anybody was as easy as finding a needle in a haystack. He was definitely going to use the opportunity absolutely anytime he wanted.
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Kem's non-spoilery/non-plot-related impressions on Veilguard:
Now that I finished a first run, I want to just put some thoughts out there - basically likes/dislikes sort of thing. So here we go! In no particular order:
Likes:
This is very subjective of course, but to me it just FEELS like Dragon Age. It's nostalgic in the vibes and mechanics while also being fresh.
Hair physics!! Me gleefully watching my boy's ponytail flipping around like 'yessss gooood'. Every game needs this imo xD
Companions: While I'm personally not going feral over any of them, I do LIKE them all, which is unusual for me. I love the shouted encouragement in combat, and how they move around the Lighthouse and have little snippets of conversations with each other (wish we got MORE of this).
I adore the environments and maps. I love exploring new places in Thedas, they're all so gorgeously detailed, and I love the LAYERS of them. The exploration feels very Assassin's Creed, which is fun for me. Docktown is my favourite I think, but Arlathan and the Crossroads are also stunning.
I'm a sucker for the elven relic puzzles, they make me happy!
Combat: It took a while for me to adjust, particularly coming from BG3 where I had time to deliberate my decisions. But once I got into the rhythm of it, I now find Veilguard combat quite fun. (I played as a sword and shield warrior this first run, I'm excited to see what a mage feels like next time around)
PHOTOMODE!!! At least a third of my playtime has definitely been spent taking screenshots. It has almost everything I want - camera angles, depth of field, field of view. SO MANY SCREENSHOTS! (1800 at last count)
Dislikes:
Save system. Generous auto-saves are great, but I hate how you get bumped to the nearest beacon when you load in, rather than where you actually left off. Also I'm a save scummer so 100 manual saves is not enough lol.
Main menu being the only functional 'pause' button is irritating, especially when trying to get into photomode.
Armour/outfit stuff. I'm sorry but most of the designs are terrible. TERRIBLE. Also there's no dye/tint system, at least Inquisition had SOMETHING to that effect.
Pacing. I feel like the stories in the game had so many good notes, but it felt.... disjointed, like it was just hitting the main beats rather than creating a cohesive narrative flow. Across the board, it felt rushed and shallow in that respect. Also (and maybe this is just a me thing) it felt really difficult to get a handle on the passage of time throughout the game.
Ambivalent: The character creator. Lots of great sliders and options, but also I kinda hate the 'mash three heads together' thing, and I don't know why we need 50 styles of eyelashes instead of, I dunno, more hair options? (also - body hair. Needs body hair)
I may add to this as more thoughts occur, but for now that's what I've got. Overall impression - positive! I had a great time and I'll be replaying for sure.
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I just finished the Silmarillion so now it's time for me to loose my mind trying to discern the timeline changes in Rings of Power
mostly I was trying to figure out which "war" it was that Celeborn went missing in
but first I wanted to ground myself by figuring out when Finrod died- except that also isn't clear...
This is a very long, unedited stream of consciousness post, so I'll put it under Keep Reading. I also didn't really fact check any of this just going off my recent memory of just reading the Silmarillion so- If I got stuff wrong...woops
TLDR: Though Finrod originally dies in the Silmarillian during the Beren and Luthien, I think the RoP writers have changed his death to be sometime after the defeat of Morgoth as he's hunting Sauron. I think Celeborn went missing sometime before Finrod died, either in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad (before the Fall of Doriath) or in the War of Wrath (the final defeat of Morgoth). Ultimately who knows but I'm excited to see what they do :)
In the Silmarillian, Finrod dies around late year 400 in the 1st Age protecting Beren in Of Beren and Luthien. He is killed by Sauron, as Sauron throws them in like a pit of death thingy.
but in Rings of Power, when Galadriel is giving exposition in the beginning, she basically says 'Then Morgoth was drafted, but Sauron continued to cause problems, and my brother vowed to hunt him down, then he died.' So it sounds like RoP Finrod survived the War of Wrath against Morgoth, but then died hunting Sauron afterwards.
This change would call into question how the events of Beren and Luthien played out in the RoP timeline- I guess it's not necessary for Finrod to die into order for that story to still have worked? Like maybe Luthien saved both of them or maybe Finrod never went with them. But...Part of the fall of Doriath in Hurin getting Finrods fancy necklace from Mim the dwarf after he's taken over Finrod's Kingdome in his absence- so if Finrod survived up to the fall of Doriath and past that- how would that work? I'm sure it could, there are ways to work around it so the story can still play out with those changes- or maybe they changed more major parts of the story like the fall of Doriath! That would be bold but not out of the question.
Maybe it's also possible that Finrod did still die during the Beren and Luthien story but that just happened after the defeat of Morgoth? IDK if that makes sense, because then how would Thingol have gotten the silmarill that leads to the fall of Doriath and all that stuff with Earendil and Elwing-? that has a lot more continuity changes so less likely.
Ok, moving on from Finrod. His death is at least canon from the Silmarillion, but Celeborn going missing is not. Or at least, it isn't mentioned. But one thing about Galadriel and Celeborn is that they were retconned into the story after most of the Silmarillion was written, so their presence it is extremely spotty and sometime inconsistent. It's basically mentioned that they fall in love when Galadriel and her brothers go to Doriath and she stays with him in Doriath while Finrod finds his kingdom, Nargothrond. Then she's mentioned talking to Melian like once after that right before the Dagor Bragollach (one time Morgoth surprise attacks a bunch of elf cities) and then...They basically disappear for the rest of the book until it starts talking about the rings of power in the 2nd Age-
So...There's already a lot of missing spots in there story. That's one of the reasons I think it's cool they made Galadriel a protagonist in RoP, because what she's doing in those times is very vague, though more so in the 1st Age than the 2nd- but her character could still shed some light on what she was doing then- Especially when Celeborn is introduced, cuz that's gonna require some background explanations.
So that's all just to provide the context that there is barely any context for what those two were doing before RoP takes place.
Another note about possible timelines for Celeborn going missing is its relation to Finrod's death. This is not confirmed, but I've always worked with the assumption that Celeborn went missing before Finrod died. This is based on some factors- such as Galadriel's seemingly more cheery nature when she calls him a "silver clam" before he goes off to battle---This doesn't sound like the traumatized, hardened Galadriel we know from her response to Finrod's death. Also, as other's have pointed out, if Finrod had died before Celeborn went to war and Galadriel had already become a warrior, why wouldn't she have gone to war with Celeborn? It's possible they were just going to different locations, but I don't think she would chide him to not join the fight is she was also doing so.
Running with that assumption- If Finrod did die saving Beren as he did in the Silmarillion, that means Celeborn would've gone missing in some battle before then, maybe the Dagor Bagollach. This would mean he would have missed out all everything with Beren and Luthien, everything with Turin, and everything else with the fall of Doriath at the hands of dwarfs and elves. Which I think would be a shame. There is still conflict in having missed out on a significant tragedy, but I think having him witness all those tragedies would be more interesting- and his bitterness towards dwarfs would be more understandable if he was physically there to witness their betrayal and slaughter of his people.
As I've said, its possible and probably likely that they'll change it so Finrod died much later, and this is another one for my reasons for thinking that. Aside from the other plot holes that creates, Finrod dying after the defeat of Morgoth opens up to possibilities for which battle Celeborn went missing in, so I'll continue with that assumption.
So, let's start with what Rings of Power canon we know. Not a lot, but in Celeborn's one mention in season 1, Galadriel says "When he went to [the War], I chided him." So he didn't go missing on some personal quest or whatever, he specifically went off to fight in "the war". One issue this raises is that Celeborn is from Doriath, and Doriath doesn't give a fuck. Doriath does not send any of its people off to any battles in the Silmarillion until it starts falling apart. The closest we get to Doriath elves fighting is when they hunt down the dwarves that killed Thingol and then defend themselves from the dwarves and the sons of Feanor.
One way to get around this could be making it so Celeborn and Galadriel left Doriath at some point to operate on their own. Maybe they went to live with Finrod in Nargothrond (I think it is mentioned that Galadriel stayed with Finrod there for a while, but Celeborn isn't mentioned? And I don't remember if that's in the Silmarillion or one of the unfinished tales- which are more subject to flexible canon). In which case, Celeborn could've gone off with Finrod to one of the battles- This is an interesting idea as it could show Galadriel and Celeborn being more independent and maybe dissenting from Thingol after his sus decisions with Beren and Luthien. The next battle after that story would be the Nirnaeth Arnoediad, the unsuccessful battle with Morgoth right before the Fall of Doriath. The problem with him going missing in that battle, again, would be him missing out on all the drama of the Fall of Doriath.
The second explanation for Celeborn going to war would be that he goes to fight after the Fall of Doriath. It makes sense that he would be more willing to fight after seeing the destruction of his people, even if that wasn't directly at the hands of Morgoth. Galadriel's joking disposition may not make as much sense in a setting after her husband home was destroyed and his family was slaughtered- but maybe everything still felt lighter back then as long as they were together. The most likely battle he went missing in after that would then be the War of Wrath itself, the final defeat of Morgoth.
Another possibility is he went missing during the Fall of Doriath, but that wasn't much of war as it was a siege, and I feel like Galadriel would have at least tried to help out in some way in those circumstances.
Overall, the two most likely battles I see him going missing in are the Nirnaeth Arnoediad (the 2nd to last attack on Morgoth) or the War of Wrath (the final defeat of Morgoth). The Nirnaeth Arnoediad, or some earlier battle, may make more sense for Galadriel to not go Celeborn as they hadn't experienced the tragic loss of Doriath yet, but I guess the same could be said for her not going with Finrod later.
I think I prefer him at least surviving up to the War of Wrath, as that means he was around to see the Fall of Doriath, and experience all the ~fun~ trauma of that, which is one of the things that could make him more unique as a character.
There is also the question of if Celebrian is even born yet and if so, where she is. As Galadriel and Celeborn's lives are so vague in the first two ages, so is Celebrian, their daughter. I don't think we know for sure when she was born, but I believe it is mentioned in Unfinished Tales that Celebrian was alive and with them by the time they first went to Eregion. Obviously much has changed as neither Celeborn nor Celebrian were present for the fall of Eregion in Rings of Power.
Personally, I don't believe Celebrian is even born yet in RoP. As other have pointed out, Galadriel starts the series as one who has lost everything, one who has no ties and nothing left to lose. This is fundamental to her hunt of Sauron and her eventual fall to the manipulation of Sauron. It doesn't track that she would be doing all this while she has a living and present daughter to worry about or keep her grounded. It's possible both Celeborn and Celebrian are missing. I feel like should would have mentioned that to Theo when she told him about Celeborn, but she's also managed to only mention her supposedly dead husband once in 16 episodes, so clearly she's a master at putting those particular traumas in boxes to never be spoken of. I feel like having both of them be missing to show up later would be a bit too cluttered and it'd be smoother to just say she isn't born yet, but anything's possible.
I'm pretty sure the "canon" about Celebrian being born before the fall of Eregion is from Unfinished Tales anyway? Which I think of as more like a draft of Tolkien's ideas for the family, not canon in the sense of the SIlmarillion or the published stories.
Lots of "canon" falls apart around Galadriel and her family as they were added in so late and Tolkien seemed to die before writing his "final" story for them. And this is an adaptation, they aren't meant to follow "canon" like the gospel anyway, as we've seen. As I've said, the very lack of solid story around Galadriel and her families experiences through the first two ages is more exciting than anything, as it leaves so much room for the writers to get creative them and write a thrilling story that we haven't seen before. This is a chance to shine light on characters that fall under the status of "unfinished" in Tolkien ever-changing world, such as Celeborn. The only "canon" (Silmarillion) information we have on Celeborn for the 1st and 2nd Age is that he lived in Doriath during the 1st Age, he was somehow related to Thingol and later Nimloth, and he and Galadriel were in love. There's other supplementary, unpublished notes that either expand on these traits or straight up contradict them.
Based on letters nearing his death, Tolkien was clearly still thinking of how Galadriel's families story could go, but as he never "finished" with them, if such a thing is even possible, we'll never get that "canon" story from him. So it's up to us- or, in this case, it's up to the writers of the Rings of Power. So we'll see!
Wow, that was a long-winded way to say "I dunno"
#I also realize the show is about the 2nd age- not the 1st age-#but Im just feeling 1st age-pilled after reading the Silmarillion#and they'll have to provide at least a Little information when Celeborn shows up-#maybe not the exact time of Finrods death but at least mention when Celeborn went missing?#I guess they could just keep it vague#that would be consistent with their inconsistent timeline at least lmao#I'm just looking for an excuse to pull my hair out over my new hyper fixation#maybe I shouldn't call it that just yet...#actually I just went through the whole Silmarillion in 5 days#so yeah#tbf about half of it was summary#BUT I WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO THE DORIATH PARTS#God I could use a whole separate series about the Doriath shenanigans#maybe I'll make another post about that#ignore me misspelling Silmarillion#silmarillion#the silmarillion#lord of the rings#the lord of the rings#LOTR#tolkien#jrr tolkien#galadriel#celeborn#Celebrian#galadriel x celeborn#celedriel#the rings of power#trop#rop
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The Bushwhack Job: Chapter Fourteen
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen
(Disclaimer: This is a relatively rough draft and subject to change when I post to AO3. I'm just overly excited and want to share what I have.)
Eliot hit the ground forearm-first, rolling along the left side of his body to spare himself as much pain as possible. Lancaster’s shot went high—he heard it thud into the wall, well past the desk he’d landed beneath—but his attention was on the sound of Parker’s footsteps as she broke from cover. One, two, three... The door crashed open, and Lancaster’s answering shot came four seconds too late.
Parker was safe. The rest, he’d figure out.
The radio buzzed against the floor in the middle of the lobby, and he heard a muffled, “Ford, I have Parker. Come around to the front. Lancaster’s still inside with Spencer.”
Thank God for J.B. He really didn’t know how he was going to repay him.
“Hear that?” Eliot called. “Now it’s just you and me. We can still walk out of here before the police show up.”
“No one’s walking out,” Lancaster said. “But you’re right about one thing: we don’t have time to play. Stand up. I won’t shoot, I just want to talk to you face to face.”
Eliot snorted. “Somehow, I’m doubting your sincerity.”
“I give you my word.”
That was as good as useless, but if Eliot wanted to keep him talking long enough to chance an escape, he had to play along. “All right,” he said, sucking in a fortifying breath before straightening behind the desk. His right leg throbbed, and he could feel the blood soaking into his jeans—another pair of Sunny’s ruined. He’d never pay her back at this rate.
Lancaster stood across the room, his derringer aimed at Eliot’s chest. “See you worked your hands free,” Eliot said, rolling his shoulders. “What took you so long? We shouldn’t have been able to beat you down the stairs.”
Lancaster grinned. “I had to stop at my safe. Didn’t want this to get caught up in the explosion.”
He lifted a gun belt, and Eliot snorted. “Don’t you think you’re taking this cowboy thing a little too far?”
“This isn’t a cowboy thing,” Lancaster sneered. “This is a Colt Model 1860 Army Percussion Revolver, owned by Jesse James himself when he rode with the Quantrill Raiders. I bought it for $230,000, but I figured once I found the James treasure, it would sell for twice that.”
A flicker of color outside caught Eliot’s eye: police lights. Their sirens joined the wail of the alarm, and Eliot did his best to push the noise to the back of his mind. “Hard to dig up a treasure on someone else’s property,” he said.
“Well, with you out of the way, that won’t be much of a problem.”
Eliot eased a step backward, shuffling to keep from putting too much pressure on his right leg. “You don’t know Sunny June very well.”
“I don’t need to,” Lancaster said. “That’s the beauty of money. You never have to get your hands dirty.”
“Until now,” Eliot said.
“Until now.” Lancaster lifted the gun, sighting down his arm and closing one eye. “A fact I’m about to remedy.”
Eliot braced himself to turn and run, but Lancaster didn’t shoot. Instead, he bent his knees, set the gun at his feet, and slid it across the floor toward Eliot.
“Pick it up,” he said.
Eliot stared at him. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“Shooting at the range is one thing,” Lancaster said, sliding the gun belt off his shoulder and fastening it around his waist. “But I’ve always wanted to know how I’d measure up in a real gun fight.”
“Your gun is 150 years old,” Eliot said. “And mine has a range of like seven yards. Not exactly worthy of the O.K. Corral.”
“You scared?” Lancaster needled.
Eliot laughed. “That don’t work on professionals, hoss. I got nothing to prove to you.”
“Then put it this way.” Lancaster spun the cylinder on his revolver, sliding bullets in as he spoke. “I’m shooting either way. You can pick up that gun and defend yourself, or stand there and take a bullet. Doesn’t matter to me.”
Fire sirens joined the cacophony of alarms, but no one was coming inside. Waiting for the bomb squad, probably—he had to keep stalling. Slowly, he lowered himself into a crouch and reached for the derringer, his eyes on Lancaster’s right hand. He’d holstered the gun and stood with his feet planted wide, grinning.
“How do you see this going down?” Eliot asked.
Lancaster flexed his hands. “You pick up the gun. It’s already loaded, but you’ll need to cock the hammer. Stand with it at your side, and then we draw. Fastest man wins.”
“Speed’s got nothing to do with it if you can’t land a hit,” Eliot said.
“Then I guess we’re about to test your aim.”
Great—Eliot had no idea if he could shoot. Probably, given his other skills, but it would be just his luck that guns weren’t one of the weapons he was apparently proficient with. But even if he could shoot, even if he could manage to hit Lancaster at the edge of the derringer’s range, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Whatever he’d done in the past, whoever he’d been before… he didn’t want to be a killer. Parker had trusted him to follow her out, and if killed Lancaster now…
He wasn’t sure how much of himself would stay behind.
“On three?” Eliot asked. He’d picked up the gun, frowning at the feel of the short handle in his palm, but was careful to keep it pointed away from Lancaster.
“So you can shoot on two?” Lancaster said. “You’re not getting inside my head, Spencer. Just draw.”
“It’s not really drawing if I don’t have a holster,” Eliot muttered. He lifted the gun carefully, keeping it at his hip as he rose on his good leg.
“There’s no talking your way out of this one,” Lancaster said, sneering. “Either way, you’re not getting out of this alive.”
Eliot went still. “Either way?”
Lancaster’s fingers twitched, and his gaze darted toward a clock on the wall over Eliot’s head. “You think you’re the only one who can stall?”
Alarms and sirens screamed. Eliot’s heart pounded, sending stabs of adrenaline through him—but no fear. Time was up, and he was getting out.
He’d made a promise.
“You assumed I had to call to set off the bombs,” Lancaster said, misinterpreting his silence. “That ain’t the only way to do it. I would’ve taken a long lunch, only to come back and find the evil Mr. Ford had made good on his threats again—but this will work. You’ve got about ten seconds to decide whether you want to go out with a bang or a bullet.”
Eliot fired. He aimed high, hoping to take Lancaster by surprise, make him flinch—hoping to steal an extra second while he turned for the door. Lancaster’s gun clicked behind him—a misfire—the idiot had probably tried using the ammunition in the gun belt. He didn’t look over his shoulder to see if Lancaster was following. He fixed his eyes on the doors—on the golden hair he could see beyond them.
The explosion started above them. Without the charges in the basement, the building shook, but held—windows burst overhead, raining glass down on the sidewalk outside. The firefighters and police flinched at the sound, hurrying to usher spectators out of the way. Eliot’s leg gave out and he stumbled, caught himself on one hand, and ran on. He was ten feet away—seven, five, two.
The next charges blew as his hand hit the door, and the force of the blast threw it open, glass shattering around him. He lost his feet, crashing into the sidewalk as heat exploded against his back, and then something hit his head—
#leverage#leverage fanfic#fanfiction#my fic#the bushwhack job#eliot spencer#good old fashioned western shootout#ish#i might play with this some more in the ao3 version#i keep going back and forth with whether or not i want parker to know that lancaster gave eliot a gun#i think it'd be fun to show that part from her pov#but i also think if lancaster gave a gun to eliot when parker was there#she'd just take it and shoot him. no nonsense. eliot may have stopped her once but she only has so much patience#but anyway. enjoy the silly western showdown
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE ZELDA *inhale* PLAYABLE ZELDA PLAYABLE Z
#zelda#echoes of wisdom#I still can't quite believe it's finally happening tbh! took ya long enough nintendo#anyway how are you!! sorry for the radio silence lately haha#my 7-year-old computer actually chose the week I was trying to finish my piece for the magic book zine to give up the ghost entirely#(luckily I just barely managed to coax it into hanging in there until after the deadline haha!)#so all my drawing lately has been like... experimenting to figure out how to use the newer versions of everything#I am old gandalf. I know I don't look it but I'm beginning to feel it#had a really good time drawing this though! playing around with new ways to do the light effects made me positively GIDDY#and zelda's design! I've seen people saying the game's visual design looks too simple but imo that's actually a good thing?#because the simpler the canon art style is the more creative input we have in our own interpretations of it#medieval tailoring is my special interest so my take on it is very loosely based on like mid-late 14th-century kirtles#as far as I know they didn't really have split skirts or that shade of purple back then but eh it's fantasy haha#I wasn't super clear on how the cloak fastens so I based it on the one frodo wears at the start of lord of the rings. you know the one#the outer edges have tabs at the top that sort of cross over each other and attach with brooches to the shoulders#I guess it's kind of like how marth and lucina's cloaks work?#but anyway I shall see you anon! hopefully before the game actually comes out haha#only 98 sleeps to go though! ARE YOU EXCITED BECAUSE I AM
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Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!
you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?
#ask#bakuspeech#I am joking to be clear lmao#thank u happy bday to me !!#tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me#cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly#so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around#I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know#I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited#and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead#and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak#listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story#it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao#but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol#it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did#I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u#lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here#the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games'#my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad
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OK SPOILERS I GUESS FOR BLACK OPS COLD WAR UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I JUST DID THE HAVANA MISSION AND "BREAK ON THROUGH" AND I'M LITERALLY SO PRESSED RN??
I AM SO UPSET THEY MADE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN HELEN AND LAZAR WHAT EVEN WAS THAT WHY'D IT HAVE TO BE THOSE TWO THEY'RE LITERALLY MY FAVORITES OF THE NEWER CHARACTERS WHY
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE THEY HAD CRAZY GOOD CHEMISTRY AND I WAS LITERALLY SITTING THERE THE WHOLE TIME DURING THAT MISSION THINKING "Dang y'all make a good couple y'all got it goin' on" BUT NO OF COURSE NOT THIS IS CALL OF DUTY WHERE NO ONE IS HAPPY AND GOOD ENDINGS DON'T EXIST AND LOVE IS A LIE
I struggled for like fifteen minutes just sitting there on the pause menu trying to pick UGHHH but I ended up going with Helen in the end simply because I think she can bring slightly more value to the team (NOT TO SAY LAZAR IS USELESS HE'S EXTREMELY HANDY AND VERY COOL AND I LOVE HIM) just because of her connection with MI6 and her ability to gather intel and all that good stuff and I'm just ever so slightly more attached to her as a character and I also got the impression Lazar really liked her a lot so I would've felt worse saving him and knowing he missed her like a crap ton so in the end I think I made the better decision
HOWEVER COMMA THEN WE HAVE "BREAK ON THROUGH" AND I'M LITERALLY SO MAD BC WDYM ADLER WAS LYING AND I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY AND I HAD A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LIFE AND I WAS THE GUY ARASH KADIVAR SHOT IN THE BEGINNING IN THE MISSION WITH WOODS AND MASON AND ADLER LIKE WHAT?? WDYM THOSE MEMORIES IN VIETNAM WEREN'T REAL?? WDYM I'VE ACTUALLY KNOWN ADLER FOR LIKE TWO DAYS AND NOT TWENTY YEARS?? Wdym HUDSON was actually RIGHT to be worried about me going into the Lubyanka building?????? HUDSON?? RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING?? NUH-UH
And wdym PARK KNEW THE WHOLE TIME LIKE GIRL I THOUGHT WE WERE BESTIES WHAT IS THIS!! YOU HAD ME RISK MY NECK FOR YOU INSTEAD OF MR. LOVER BOY AND NOW I FIND OUT YOU WERE FRICKIN LYING TO ME THE WHOLE TIME TOO LIKE?? I'm aware it was for the greater good and that technically it was good for Bell too bc now she's a good guy and isn't a bad guy (I play with female Bell to be clear because that's awesome and I love that that's an option) BUT Y'ALL STILL LIED TO ME?? I'm gonna keep an eye on those two for REAL now like watch as Adler frickin tries to offer me up as some sacrificial lamb at some point I just KNOW he will UGH
Idk I'm still holding out hope Lazar is alive somehow because technically I didn't actually see him die he was just lying there and I felt so AWFUL UGHHH
Anyway I'm going to carry on pretending he's fine and he got out and everything is hunky dory and great and he and Helen went on that date and they're together and everything is fine and wonderful
#call of duty#black ops cold war#cod black ops cold war#anyway if any of y'all have played it don't y'all dare give me spoilers i wanna see this for myself#i already got it spoiled that woods was miraculously perfectly fine and unscathed after black ops >:(#i do think it's hilarious though that they didn't even treat that like a big thing or anything. he's just immediately there and fine#like brother how did both you AND kravchenko survive that?? i would like an explanation but this is cod and i likely will not get one#also kinda wild bc kravchenko being alive means reznov didn't get his wish uhhh#if he's alive which he technically could be bc it says they never found his body (which is odd considering he supposedly never escaped)#then maybe he'll come back!! (<- is delusional)#black ops has had the most wildly out of pocket plot twists that actually ended up being crazy cool#between mason being a sleeper agent programmed by reznov and reznov not being real in black ops (at least after the gulag part)#and now bell's deal in cold war this is literally insane i'm going insane#i'm extremely excited for the end of the game it'd better be good#also if you're wondering during break on through i did follow all of adler's instructions up until the third go round in which i ignored hi#and bell went absolutely insane and zombies in a cave were involved and clocks on the wall and infinite hallways and junk#he was very upset with me but i thought it was funny so
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Anyway. 150 days left until I see TMBG.
#i already counted down 150 days. and 100 days left until i see them before#but the tour was postponed a full year so we're doing this again#it was going to be my first 'proper' concert but due to the delay i got the chance to already go to two other concerts earlier this year#they were both amazing and exactly the type of thing that's been missing in my life before as it turns out#i'm very glad i went and they really made me even more excited for this upcoming one#because now i can kind of imagine what it might look like#just seeing all these people with their band shirts was such an amazing moment#i can't really imagine seeing dozens of people in tmbg shirts even though it IS going to happen#and that's mostly because i have met ONE tmbg fan in real life#and overall it's incredible how completely unheard of they seem to be where i live#all those music store sellers who are like 'who???' when i ask them about tmbg#at least there was this one guy who not only knew who sparks are#but also told me all about annette and who plays in it and where to watch it#so yeah. still feels far away but maybe i can already start getting excited again. this time it's gotta happen#and my london trip!! and first plane flight!! it's gonna be so fun#i've been waiting for this for a year and a half already auughhhh#when the time for my dream trip finally arrives i won't be shutting up about it for even a day#goosepost
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Sometimes I think about how even when I'm trying not to be, I am entirely made of the people I love. I recently reconnected with a close friend I hadn't seen in about three years. Apparently they're into watching video essays now. I'm more of a gaming YouTube person, but to each their own, I've always known this friend to be a touch more academic than me anyway. Fair enough. We find other things to talk about.
It is two months later. My watch later list is entirely filled with video essays. Three years is not enough time to forget how to love somebody. I'm glad of that.
#voidrambles#how to explain. it's like#i don't know when to hug or how hard and direct complements make me uneasy and i just#affection in the way most people know it does not come naturally to me#i do it because it's detectable to other people and it's what they do for me and it makes them happy which makes me happy#which makes me sound quite disingenuous? i think that's the word. with my love#but#the games i play most are ones i saw one friend get very very excited about and i loved them before i even started playing them#i haven't thought twice about deep sea creatures since maybe middle school but i do now,all the time,and bugs too#i get excited when i see one because another of my friends would#in 2021 i made this one specific vanilla milk drink in the microwave dozens of times even though I don't like sweet vanilla that much#it tasted so good to me for the time i was close with the person i got the recipe from#i get excited when i see yellow flowers. yellow is not one of my favourite colours#I write because of all the things I've read and loved I keep a list of books friends speak highly of#I cook my pasta with oil even though it makes the pot harder to wash and i don't know if there's a difference to the taste#because i can't tell it apart from the warmth of someone else's proudly given tip joining my own routine#i don't know how else to say this#I'm running out of examples not because there are no more but because i can't tell them apart from things i am on my own#that used to upset me but i don't think it does anymore#this post stops here. it's late and i have a video essay to watch#i love you
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something that makes me feel so attached to sam IS that complicated relationship with where he comes from and what he is. his abusive father made him the man he is today even when he's been dead for years
#i hadn't seen my father in over ten years before he died and it still scooped something out of me that i didn't realize i needed#there's something about never being able to go back. never being able to make him as mad as you are or as disappointed#no more opportunity to give him the grief you've lived with behind your breastbone your entire life#but there's the things you Do remember that make you wish he just wasn't a piece of shit all the time#i remember my father once tried to teach me three years old how to play magic the gathering#sam remembers sitting on his father's shoulders while dean dragged john by the hand excited about going to see pastor jim or sumn like that#i'm very normal as an angry younger sibling who is much too attached to sam winchester#mer rambles
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I’ve been had!
They are just little guys
#I was so excited to get a Devil and Angel matching pair and then#Lol#I'm a bit put out that I opted to use my discount on them and they're this#But at the same time I effectively got them for free so how much can I really complain lol#I really genuinely believed they'd be the real things! I was like ''Oh yeah I got the Osu and Mesu for a bit less but they're used so''#It all tracked in my mind! Noooooo#They are admittedly very cute but hrmng I wanted to Play with them lol#Well the search begins again in that case!#Man and I had names picked out for them and everything#Maaah well that too is part of the learning tax lol#You can see the Osu and Mesu to the sides there :)#I also am doubly convinced that the ''orange'' Mesu is Not in fact a ''rare unusual not-very commonly produced'' Actually orange Mesu lol#It's just Extremely yellowed haha#I don't mind it too much tho - still gonna aim for a pink one! As smol says she wants a pink one more than an orange one lol#But as long as it works I'm happy :)#Still gotta get them batteries pfft
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i want to try and start making/getting into animatics but the only idea i currently have for one involves putting it to a song and that's probably not the best thing to START learning with lmfao but go big or go home right, not like i'll be getting to it anytime soon with how goddamn busy i've been and how many other things i want to do first 🤣
#my idea came though because we're onto act 2 of chicago#shows at the end of the month and i'm so excited 🥳#but anyways velma's first song of the act 'i know a girl' is BIG FUCKING Emil to Bruce vibes lmfaoooo#its just so bitter and self pitying and funny and i can very much see emil thinking this way prior to all his self improvement 😂#like the context changes because in the play velma sings it watching roxie on the news after roxie reveals she's (faking) a pregnancy#whereas for this i'd imagine its emil watching bruce on the news from jail too but its bruce getting accepted onto the avengers lol#'now why didnt i think of that? 😒' 😂#i also think that how roxie acts in the song is perfect to show how emil SEES bruce#as someone putting on a show to get out of the exact spot emil's in not the innocent little scientist with a big bad hulk inside him 🙄#you know cause emil be projecting hardcore 🤣#i just think the lyrics fit well and there's a lot of moments that could be tweaked to make them fit the new context while keeping#the wording#like with roxie's whole 'the two of us' thing being bruce/hulk instead of roxie and her 'baby' 😂#this would be the most self indulgent thing i've ever made which is exactly why its a project i would like to work on#when i have more time. its a fun goal to keep in mind even if i'm the only one who finds it funny 😂#i know a girl#a girl who lands on top#you could put her face into a pail of slop#and she'd come up smellin' like a rose#how she does it heaven knows 😒 😂
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