#i'm v normal??? PROBABLY?
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it could've been partial the heavy atmosphere of masses of people dancing flesh pressed against flesh. with the scent of sweat and alcohol weighing down upon the air to an equal amount , and lights flashing rhythmically to the beat drumming to the ears. despite couple drinks that have been quite impactful on it's liquor , steed finds himself clear-headed enough , to snake his pathway skillfully so through the crowded sea , until reaching destination upon dance floor. arms come to circle around femme's waist. against chest , for the tengu's backside to be pulled against , swaying along with her very frame.
a row of kisses , peppered the side of her neck , and trails it's way upward to earlobe of hers. palms pressing into hips , with a possessive ( and claiming ) touch of nature lingering beneath. a murmur shapes , to be delivered straight into the shell , so girlfriend could hopefully hear him over crowds and music alike.
โ .. 's go home , dancing queen. โ
// ( kurai&ciphor. )
--- Nights like these were always carefree and riddled with fun; tengu much enjoyed her evenings in, with brush in hand or fingers daring to dig into a clay pot but then the need for socializing sputtered forth and boyfriend was always eager to vibe with nightclubs. Wasn't it how they'd met? She recalled it with great amusement, lips quirking- for the moment, he'd decided to stay at the bar and have a couple more drinks. Femme of course, had already taken her fill (at least, enough such that she wouldn't fall over) and strayed to the dance floor to move her body.
--- Some considered art a dance form as well, and while she agreed in many ways, it wasn't one she was amazing at. While not awful, it wasn't difficult to mimic the idle gyrations from surrounding bodies, pressing against one another intermittently until she could feel the sticky sheen of sweat bead along her forehead. Orbs hadn't met those of lover, lost in her own movements, before she felt arms curl around center.
--- A brief pause, for a moment thinking that maybe it was a stranger trying to feel her up...but the row of kisses along her neck coupled with the smooth way he swayed with her and the familiar scent he possessed had her relaxing. ' Almost elbowed you in the gut, you know... ' she teased, somewhat breathless from all the moving and bouncing along the dance floor, before a grin pull at her lips. Head tilted with the trail of his lips, allowing for him to find a less obstructed path to earlobe as he groped at her hips.
--- Breath caught, briefly and fleetingly, at the gesture. Ciphor wasn't overt in his possessive displays, and it was so rare that they were demonstrated at all, but each one reminded her that they were together. Dating. That they belonged to one another in so many ways- heart went aflutter, and head tips back upon his shoulder with the muttered into her ear, a request to return home. Fingers and palms alike settle over his own, resting there for a handful of moments as she kisses sweetly on the underside of his jaw.
--- ' All tired of the club now that you've had your fill of drinking and drunk men and women flirting with you? ' she beamed, laughing and relaxing further against his frame. She never...had to worry about him, in the respect of him flirting with others, or cheating. In fact, she had absolute faith and confidence in their relationship to no fret at all over it, though that didn't stop her from occasionally making a show that he was hers. Rare as that was, she hummed a small noise in throat and gave a nod. ' Alright, ' she agreed, lacing digits into his own and allowing him to guide her from the pulsing crowds and the loud club until sweet, fresh night air hit her face
--- ' The air feels nice, damn...didn't realize how suffocating it was in there. ' a chuckle, turning around until she was walking backwards, so that she could face him as they left. Tangled digits were brought to her mouth, liquor causing her balance a bit of trouble so that kiss she pressed to steed's fingers was...messier than intended, but eager all the same. ' Your home or mine this time? '
#youโre the only one who; drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams | kurai & ciphor |โ;#equos#i care them a lot#they...make me rly emotional#aaaaaa#inhales#i'm v normal??? PROBABLY?#i love them ur honor
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sooo i started thinking about pacific rim again
[ID: A traditional drawing of Sigma from Bungo Stray Dogs on lined paper, wearing a drivesuit from Pacific Rim. The drivesuit resembles a mecha-style suit of armor. His full body is shown, standing and leaning more onto his right leg. His right arm is awkwardly sitting near his waist, and his left hand is brushing his bangs from his face. The plates of armor are white, whereas the suit underneath is black. He's looking off to the right with a neutral expression. End ID.]
#late night sig doodles#lord my body has been against me these past few days. i started writing a pacrim!au fic for another (nonexistent) fandom#bc i couldn't take my evening nap. ๐#anyways this is sigma he's not a ranger he's just a PPDC officer. like LOCCENT mission control yk.#he knows how to pilot a v-50 jumphawk but he's never actually been deployed. he just can.#idk. maybe not an officer but if he had to fill that role he probably cld. but i do think he would be in mission control#OMG PACRIM SIGSKK#DRIFT PARTNERS DAZAI CHUUYA MISSION CONTROL SIGMA SO REAL AND TRUE#i'm so normal. please someone talk to me about pacrim!bsd#[ my art ]#sigma#sigma bsd#bsd sigma#sigma fanart#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs fanart#bsd fanart#sigma bungo stray dogs#pacific rim#pacific rim au#pacrim au#pacrim bsd#please please please be a tag
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The inside of my mind 24/7:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/500759ce9b567122762a03869938e82a/dfc08172ae7bf391-14/s540x810/797db9546d0024daa06d1564d2ccdad6b0f3f774.jpg)
#gen v#gen v amazon#gen v spoilers#jordan li#derek luh#somebody sedate me#his mid drift I#i need him biblically#in a way that would offend god and probably every other religion#I'm trying to be normal and its not working
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.
#it might not be cool or normal but i've been heartbroken over the news today#for the devs who made the thing i love so much and for its future#but reading fanfic has helped#i'm also probably gonna start another veilguard run with my emotional support himbo#i just love this fandom so much#please always feel like you can reach out to me in my asks or whatever#i'm bad at making friends but so many of you guys get me like v few people in my real life do
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Nerding out over my own writing.
So like I'm writing rn and I'm nerding out about what I'm doing to Alva in the 'Laid to Rest' quest and shaping her backstory and how she met Movarth and I'm having a fangirl moment idkmaybeitsthenightlydepressionkickingin and I won't post it here bc like S P O I L E R S for the second fic in the series but if anybody wants to let me bomb their dms with this cool lore I'm inventing lmk.
#skyrim#elder scrolls#tes v skyrim#oc#elder scrolls oc#fanfiction#early snow white#snow white#ldb#Alva#Morthal#Skyrim#skyrim elder scrolls#tesblr#tes#I'm not normal about it#but its probably bc I'm like super depressed rn#So I'm like hyping myself up
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i've got a disease called "visceral disgust towards anything christmas" but i stuck it out for the wk special. it was ok
#.txt#the writing was noticeably worse and annoying than usual but like that's common of kid's christmas specials#and also i'm incredibly biased so it probably wasn't actually that grating in reality but. v excited to watch normal good episodes loll#the bros were cute as always tho <3
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About to speed run sketching the next Kid Leo arc so I can make two TMNT:HME comics I'M GETTING WAY TOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ITERATION BECAUSE JUEHFFRKR MAKING LORE IS JUST FUN
#but i will keep my word abut kid leo#also i have smthn so cool for the ending#aughh im v excited about that as well!#also i say speedrun but I'm probably gonna be going the same speed as normal LMAO
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Oh little people in my phone, we're really in it now ๐๐
#it's lay on my bed yell into mattress hours#I can't tell if I'm reasonably stressed. over stimulated. or emotionally heightened because of the steroid I am on. but#today has been too many things and I feel.#sooooooo done#so done with everything#it raining and I haven't seen the sun in ages. I have bronchitis and haven't been Not Sick in a whole ass month#I have so many things to get done before Christmas which is IN A WEEK JESUS CHRIST#my CAR isn't drivable which SUCKS and it needs new TIRES and probably very expensive ENGINE REPAIRS and#my dad says he can fix them but I still have to take it into the shop just to make sure we know for sure what the problem is but#the it's already going to be in the shop and HES SICK and also like. busy. and doesn't have time to fix car#and so I might as well just pay out the fucking wazooo for them to fix it#but idk how long that will take#and I'm borrowing my grandmas car which is GREAT! like I'm so grateful to have that as an option but also! I feel BAD because it's her car#and she does actually use it and like. I don't want to take that away from her for too long#because then I feel BURDENSOME#and my mom just told me that one of my relatives just passed away and I didn't know her too well but her mom ALSO died last year like#On Christmas Day like very traumatically and I feel soo soo bad for all my cousins who have basically just had the entire Christmas season#ruined for them because they will have lost their mom AND their grandma around that time#and that HORRIBLE like oh my godddddd#and like#this holiday seasons is feeling very weird and different and worse and not BAD But like many things have changed this year and as someone#who does NOT enjoy little changes in routine and appreciates tradition uh. hehe the lines are blurring and it's stressing me outtttttt#and I got home and I had to pee and I look like shit because I've been running around all day#only to realize I left my keys Inside The House and my roomate had locked the door when he went to the gym and#thankfully the gym is a stones throw away from our house but he wasn't answering his phone#so I had to GO THERE. THROUGH THE RAIN. looking like the amount of tired and done that I am. and walk into the gym that is naturally PACKED#because it's right after work. and do the walk of shame past the v friendly gym owner who I haven't seen in MONTJ because I've been SICK#and haven't been able to work out which i ALSO FEEL GUILTY AND BAD ABOUT and#walked past all the Busy Fit Gym People in my normal person clothes to the very back where my roomate was and stand there while he finishes#his silly little reps to get his keys from him
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it's funny that now that i don't really have much about my body to be dysphoric about my brain makes up psychological dysphoria and it's so dumb
#''oohh only people who are attracted to men but are slightly scared of what they deem real men (not you) will be attracted to you''#''or those people AND chasers AND ppl who just see you as a curiosity to test out''#like how do i even unpack the bs my brain is throwing at me#yeah maybe some part of me believes that but the logical part of me knows it's not true#i think what's causing this is that i'm still kinda new at being stealth while passing#like yeah ive been going as leevi for the entire duration of uni and living as a man but passing regularly started happening to me after#i started t#now i only get misgendered the same amount as cis men with shoulder length hair#so like. it's happened once after starting t lmao#i think what's causing this (the psychological warfare from my brain) is the combination of stress#and me actually becoming friends with a co worker i'm not out to#listen ive been trying to hint at being trans but he was born a guy and lives as a guy so hes not very tuned out on this stuff#though his partner is nb and ive met them and they think i'm cis too which i think is hilarious bc i feel like#i'm v easy to clock for trans ppl#though idk im fagging it up quite a bit so it makes me pass extra well so#anyways#im a bit conflicted about the situation#im not going to outright tell him i think but i'm not going to hide it if it comes up#which i know i dont have to do but i want to#we'll probably go swimming together this summer so if that doesnt make him realize it hes a lost case and i dont#need to worry about it lmaoo#also i bought shorts that arent sport shorts and they looked normal on me so im literally unstoppable#but yea thank u for listening to me i just needed to ramble#leevi talks
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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Ascendance of a Bookworm is one of those series that seems like it does not have a shred of romance, but is in actuality very romantic. It's just the narrator is too dumb to realize it.
#rambles#DID YOU SEE THAT PART V VOLUME 12 ILLUSTRATIONS AAAAAAAA#i'm so normal over it#its been probably more than two years since i finished the mtl web novel and i haven't been keeping up with the light novel#but damn i need to get caught up#this series is sooooooooooo good
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Ifeeltired
#My body isn't heavy anymore and thats v good v v good but I feel#I feel sad#V sad#Idk why. I just am#There's something wrong with me#Something v v wrong#Idk what. But I just know there's a problem.#I'm probably just having an existential crisis but I think I need to talk to Her about it bc She actually seems genuinely worried abt me#Which is. New.#Normally She'd just be mad at me for not doing chores or sleeping in late but this time She seems. Just. Worried about me.#I don't know how to feel about that but it makes me kinda. Happy. I think.#I like when people worry about me. I probably shouldn't though.#Anyways. Uh. Again. Need to stop screaming into the void here what I wanted to say is I'm getting silly n changing my name :3#๊ฐเฆโก ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฝ.ramble
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I realized this, like looking back I've been annoying as shit. But then I decided that actually who cares if I was annoying, everyone's annoying sometimes, it's part of being human. My friends are annoying sometimes, my girlfriend can be too actually, but you know what I figured out? I can still love them not just in spite of that, but *because* of it, because I love *all* of them, and being annoying is a part of *everyone*. And not to mention if I need to I can also just talk to them like a fucking adult.
The real secret is realizing that actually, I was never the problem, I just needed better friends who knew how to use their goddamn words to communicate with me, and who would have me do the same for them. All I ever needed to learn was how to ask for that.
"Read the room" room is bullshit, and it always has been, the answer has always been "Speak clearly", even in situations when everyone present actually knows how to do the former.
Once you have that, you get the last realization. Which is that actually, I trust my friends to love me for who I am and communicate their boundaries to me when necessary... So you know what? I am going to become *more* annoying, *on purpose*, because I know doing so does not make me any less worthy of love. No more hiding behind masks so thick they make my RAADS-R score look normal. I am going to be me and I am going to love myself for it, all else be damned.
That's what I love about this scene. Yes, it's painful to watch, but at the same time it's triumphant, because Laios is hearing all this and responding to it with a deep seated understanding of himself, he knows without even a moment of hesitation that he has never been in the wrong for being himself.
I'm (probably) not even autistic* myself... so I've been on both sides of this exact conflict even... which is why I can say with such confidence that Shuro deserved every bit of what he got for starting shit unnecessarily instead of acting like an adult.
every autistic person watching this episode of dungeon meshi:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c83f6526c861dd872aede718ce2a2956/2073443357a65727-58/s540x810/f4bf70e1455b63de232a828858ae93861778b231.jpg)
#rb#*for context I have a RAADS-R of 90 and no official diagnosis#so I'm in the range of like definitely probable but also like a lot of it can be explained by ADHD so I can't really say for sure#If I had to guess I'd probably be allistic under DSM V and slightly autistic under the DSM VI#what that actually means tho is my symptoms are pretty mild#I can read social cues fairly well I just also elect to ignore them a lot because that's what feels more natural to me#I can mask really well and am almost never visibly autistic even to myself#ADHD yes extremely I've only gotten worse at hiding it over time but autistic not really#but the thing that tips me off is if make me comfortable and safe enough to let me drop that completely and I definitely don't behave normal#I usually know what the right answers are to most social situations but they're rarely the ones I would choose myself given absolute freedom
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oversteeping horse edition
#bad art tw#oc-j#oc-e#oc-a#oc-q#Hi Ryeders. I Must Sincerely Apologise For Telling You That The Next Dawing Wou;d Be Normal.#I remembered that i have free will#and so this was created#V's mark is for the time loop#Isn't it weird that i call him V but tag him as A#his name is avery. btw#ok anyways#e's mark is for being a plane mechanic :) that's what she becomes in the n..g-w universe#j is computer happiness#Interpret that in any way you wish#and q is blank but he probably gets something themed with wood or tech like c0/ding#Okay Thank You Ryeders For Listening To Me#I Hope You Like The Horses#i like the horses#i had a lot of fun doing elle's design i think it came out so preddy#the spots awawa okok#Okay Ryeders Bye Have A Great Day!!!!!!!!!#wait no i wanna talk more#This is kinda a n..g-w version OF the horse au#if it followed bzb's protocol it would be like a whole.. a whole um#like one of those Horse C/reep E. Pas/tas#That's a good name for a parody character jimmy#thank you unnamed ryeder :)#Okay I'm Donw Now. Have A Great Day Ryeders ! ! !
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Thinking about Yuuya's pendulum and Yuuto's lock necklace currently, and brain immediately went (with reference to how the bracelets work... kinda) somewhere between "that's where Zarc's soul is for them" and "if you held onto the pendulum or lock itself then it would cause them pain on a soul level"
#marwospeaking#not tagging this. too incomplete of a thought for that methinks#It does theoretically imply all of the Yuboys have necklaces of their own. since two of them do. I mean all of them cover their necks#as did Zarc's turtle neck. Yuuya and Yuuto use chokers. Yuugo and Yuuri have high collars. that's probably a thought for another post tho#its also unrelated. Anyway. the necklaces.#I'm perfectly normal about the fact that pre-war Yuuto wore a decorative lock around his neck on a string. Ok there's the chance its#actually a tag and Not a lock. but a lock feels more accurate? we know the least about small Yuuto. like all of that was locked away#never to be given freely away for the other yuboys to see. just in case he'd lose that naive time in his life. that time he was free#A lot of fanworks have the lads merging without being able to tell where they start and end. so at least it makes sense why we don't#see small Yuuto. those memories aren't even for audience eyes sort of thing. yk like Yuuya's tears#I'm getting way off track and these tags don't make sense =v=;; whoops
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OH MY GOD RADDY TOOK THE FLOWER
I'M CRYING ALSO OH MY GOD I LOVE ALL OF THEM THEY'RE SO HAPPY <33
(specifically Tunner, Saves, Jevin, and Black)
MEANWHILE CIQU IS LOOKING AT IT LIKE "WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS--"
(ANOTHER ALSO CUZ ADHD BRAIN--) OH MY GOD TUNNER'S FAVORITE FLOWER IS A WATER LILY?? I LOVE HIM SM--
I'M GIVING A FLOWER TO MY FAVORITES (Tunner, Ciqu, Jevin, Black, Saves, and Raddy)
(Can be their favorite or ur choice it don't matter to me <33)
#oh my god I'm so normal about them#I LOVE THIS SM THIS MADE MY DAY <33#Sky I want your dad/hj#just a warning I'm probably gonna bother Tunner with a bouquet of water lilys in my next ask#no promises#I'M COMING AFTER YOU TOO BLACK AND JEVIN#Side note--Does the withered rose raddy has (or black flower of some kind) have a deeper meaning? or does he just like them :v#AGAIN I LOVE THIS SM AND THE DETAIL PUT INTO IT IT'S SO CUTE ESPECIALLY WITH THE LAVENDER SHADOWS MOMENT <333#THANK YOUUUU <3333#anyways enough rambling
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