#i'm tired of this discourse but i keep seeing them in my tl
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Another sxf vs bd fandom war in Twitter 🙄 Worse, it seems like a lot of sxf fans and bd fans can't stop being homophobic or misogynistic in their takes. Seriously, just rest this shit already and enjoy both shows.
#spy x family#buddy daddies#i thought we are just one big found family fandom#kazuki rei and loid are all attractive without having to fit in with your toxic masculinity bs#yor forger is not just some ditzy school girl and very much a character on her own#so much yor slander when this woman carries sxf s2 i swear#bd is more than just 'gay sxf'#you can prefer one over the other while not putting the other one down you know#i'm tired of this discourse but i keep seeing them in my tl#don't even get me started on that anya vs miri takes#besides of the obvious different found family takes between the two they also differ in their format#like bd is meant to be a single season 12 episode series (afaik) so developments will be more blatant and faster#meanwhile sxf is meant to be a slowburn so every progress and emotional growth will be more subtle and gradual#a lot of people really missed the point and setup of these shows and i felt like it is a disservice to both#anime#found family#twitter
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In case you're someone who doesn't have context for this discourse:
Here's how my publishing experience has been so far as an author writing books with trans MCs and not labelling them as ownvoices (spoiler alert: it's made me want to quit publishing many times.)
Usually when there is an opportunity for LGBTQ+ books to be featured, they ask for ownvoices or categorize books by ownvoices/not ownvoices.
It makes it impossible to submit if you don't out yourself. You can say the book is not ownvoices, but you have to pick a side.
"Does it happen that often?"
Yes.
It happens so often that I'm extremely surprised when I see someone not asking for ownvoices books but just books with queer MCs. (It makes me really happy each time, and relieved.)
"But what if you don't disclose and still submit to a list?"
I tried submitting to queer book lists without disclosing whether or not my book was ownvoices.
Sometimes my books got featured, but were auto-sorted into ownvoices/not ownvoices based on… what the reviewer thought. I only found one once the list was posted. I wasn't asked.
Sometimes I would get asked if my book is ownvoices: and since I didn't disclose, I wasn't eligible for a feature anymore. That's fine, but… really, when most lists/features operate this way, you're clearly encouraged to market as ownvoices aka out yourself to sell your book.
Features help with visibility a lot. Whenever I get featured on a list my sales go up. And sometimes readers will not buy unless they have a guarantee the book is ownvoices (yes I've had readers ask me before, and I've lost sales over it before.)
I've also accepted offers for my book to be featured on lists only to find out once the list went live that they were 'books by trans authors' lists, when I wasn't asked about if that was okay beforehand… nor asked about my identity. I was only asked if I wanted to be featured.
I've had cis readers DM to ask about how I wrote my trans characters & whether it's 'appropriate or not'. Every time this happens I worry about how it will end. If they don't like my response, what happens then?
I know that if I marketed as ownvoices they wouldn't do this.
But am I not entitled to privacy anymore just because I wrote a book?
Some readers that I've never spoken to review, list & share my book as an ownvoices book just because my MC is trans. And contrary to lists/features, I don't get asked about this beforehand. It just goes live. And if I'm lucky, I find it, and I can ask them to change it. But…
It's happened so many times now that I've given up.
I used to keep track. I used to message people to clarify that I'm not marketing my book as ownvoices, but I'm tired.
I'm so tired of all these awkward, intrusive conversations that I really shouldn't be having with strangers.
The more my platform as an author grows, the more this happens. There's not a lot I can do about it.
I've considered not writing trans MCs anymore because of this. I've considered quitting publishing entirely. But In the end I had to accept this will happen: what else can I do?
TL;DR:
Reviewers will try to out you.
Readers will try to out you.
Reviewers will out you.
Readers will out you.
You'll get DMs from people trying to figure out if you're allowed to write the MC you wrote.
So many inappropriate conversations.
Made me want to quit.
And my experience aside, so many authors have been harassed over writing a character with a marginalized identity, forced to out themselves or explain their trauma in order to be 'allowed' to write a character with the same identity or trauma, but that's not my story to tell.
There's a huge pressure for queer authors to out themselves & use their identity to market their book.
So many calls for books/events ask for ownvoices books, but what they're really asking for is books by openly out authors.
Please ask for books with queer MCs instead!🙏🌈❤️
Ownvoices was meant to be about uplifting marginalized voices, but this isn't what we're doing anymore: we're prying into authors' personal lives just to make sure we're reading/featuring a book with 'good rep'. This needs to stop, it's so harmful.
This can't be the standard.
Since when did we start caring about rep in fictional books more than the real people behind those books? If we want to uplift marginalized voices, those voices shouldn't have to owe us anything in exchange, not their history, not their identity.
Authors shouldn't have to out themselves for us to read their books, let's make this a safe space for everyone.❤️🌈
#lgbtq#fiction#queer books#novel#lgbtq books#ownvoices#writing#writeblr#writerscommunity#writers#books and reading#books#booklr#bookstagram
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I think that the biggest problem with this fandom is that people are way too invested in what its going to be canon. This is the reason why milevens attack bylers over the possibility of mileven not being endgame and also why byler shippers can be a little annoying sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love reading Byler meta as much as the next Byler shipper but I'm tired of reading the same arguments over and over again, lets just enjoy the ship! We don't always need to talk about the evidence that proves that Byler is real, its a wonderful ship and even if it doesn't end up being canon we can still have fun with the ship, shipping is for fun after all not only about what ends up being canon or not
I really agree with this.
I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I see a lot of activist discourse in fandom spaces, and I think this is partly where things get complicated, particularly around queer ships. Sometimes fandom members perceive the advocacy of their queer ship to be analogous with genuine activism. It’s why you see arguments about how X ship is critical because everything is heteronormative, it’ll break the mold, it’s a much needed gesture - nay, an inroad - into normalising queer relationships in mainstream media... All of these are very valid points, but I don’t always think they have room in fandom spaces, mainly because what you’re asking for requires power to change the status quo and consumers do not have power (unless you’re in a position to create your own queer shows, in which case, do it!). Yes, you can “vote with your wallet” and so forth, but until I see evidence of a television show being cancelled or a storyline being rewritten because some blogs on Tumblr cancelled their Netflix subscription, I’m not going to buy that argument anymore (and I say “anymore” because I used this argument myself for a long time).
Critically, fandom members have to ask themselves why they want a ship to be canon. Most of the time the answer is “because I enjoy it and it would be neat” which is completely valid (I fall into this category). But sometimes the answer is “I need it to be canon because I’m very invested in this show and if it does not become canon it will be like a personal attack” and this is less healthy. Fandom spaces have always been a hothouse. People get - understandably - very heated about their ships. I’ve talked before about how it’s a time sunk cost fallacy playing out in, well, a fictional relationship. People think about how much time they’ve dedicated to engaging with source material, creating new material in the form of artwork or fan fiction, and believe this entitles them to directing how the show will be run. This is not true. You need to take a step back if you even for a moment think that the work you create voluntarily amounts to any form of ownership. You can have your own headcanons and come up with AUs, and all of that is fine, but if it crosses into being antagonistic towards other fandom members or - as has happened literally thousands of times - bullying actual show runners, then I’m sorry, but you must take a break.
Having said all of that, I’m so not immune to this. I am extremely invested in the Stranger Things fandom. I love Mike Wheeler. I want so many things to happen - things that, at this point, only exist in my imagination. I want Byler to be canon so badly. But I also remember that I am a consumer and my interpretation of Byler is likely to be different from what the showrunners envisage. In that respect, I am okay with quietly creating my own work and imagining Byler as I see it, because that gives me total power over the situation. I can do whatever I want. If Byler becomes canon - and I do hold out hope and have a measure of optimism that it will be (in my opinion it would be alluded to in S4 and confirmed in S5) - I will absolutely go bonkers. If it doesn’t... I’ll keep shipping it. I will. I’ll keep writing and engaging with the source material and enjoying myself. Because at the end of the day, my sense of self worth isn’t derived from fandom. And I’m cognizant that I do not have any control over what will happen, so I’m not going to push the issue by pretending like I have any special insight into what will happen.
This is so long... I’m sorry! TL;DR I completely agree with you. I can just also see the generational/cultural elements that inspired fandom... Like, it’s not something that sprang up in a vacuum, you know? It’s so specific to a particular time and place. And as a product of that time, I’m really sensitive and appreciative of how it’s affected people differently.
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I'm honestly a bit confused on the problem with making fandom related blm art (as long as its not tagged blm and provides links to supporting blm). Could you please explain?
please realize before you read any of this that i am speaking as an nbpoc person who has been mostly off tumblr for the past few days, with the exception of occasional nighttime reblog sprees after my productivity blocker extension times out. i have been doing my absolute best to educate myself as well as possible so as to be the best ally i can be, but i am nevertheless imperfect and i very well may say something wrong. above all, please keep in mind that the voices that really need to be heard and raised up right now are the voices belonging to our bipoc friends, not my own.
also, i’m real tired -- im not saying this to seek pity or make this conversation about myself, just to ask you to forgive any spelling errors/grammar errors/run-on sentences. thanks. ill also definitely be putting a tl;dr at the end, because I can already tell this post is gonna get longggg.
that said, i appreciate that you’re actively seeking to learn, so i'll do my best to explain what i've gleaned based on what bipoc fanders have been saying. for starters, @/hazelmagix put one major issue very succinctly in her post on the matter (tw for swearing, but this is really the Big One):
in addition to the above Big Issue (ie. needing to bring Real Experiences That Real People Are Facing down to the same level as works of fiction), i believe that one of the specific issues that the tss fandom is facing right now came about after @/bleepblopbloop56 drew a lovely piece of art involving a black, trans roman that originally (to the best of my knowledge) had nothing to do with blm. if you’re a part of the fandom and you’ve been on tumblr at all these past few days, you’ve likely seen the results of that, but i don’t know how many people are aware of the full story right now so just bear with me here:
what happened was that some people outside the fandom (mostly bipoc!!!) came across the piece and voiced their discomfort about it (some kindly, but many not-so-kindly), presumably because they thought that the artist was drawing Real Person Thomas Sanders as black, as opposed to a fictional character who is often portrayed in all manner of diverse interpretations. eventually, it got to the point where the artist felt pressured to take their piece down.
(for clarification, i don’t think it’s ever okay to harass creators to that point, but that’s a whole ‘nother matter entirely. the point is, it was mostly people outside the fandom.)
anyway, the situation ended up sparking outrage after someone else made a post pointing the issue out under the assumption that the attacks had stemmed from racism and transphobia within the fandom (not true). in response, people (predominantly white people, if i’m not mistaken) began to draw art of black trans roman. which would be great on its own, except it didn’t take long for folks to start attaching it to the black lives matter movement. which was less great (see above screenshot). the least great part of all is that so much of it stemmed from spite at the people who had originally been voicing their discomfort about the art -- the same people, mind you, who are not a part of the fandom at all.
not only was this effort misdirected, it was also hurtful because people (again, majorly white) were now using black skin tone and even the blm movement itself as a form of spite. the focus was not on explaining the situation to the original poc outside the fandom -- it was on using art and fandom to appear “woke”, and in the process, ignoring the black voices who were saying they were uncomfortable. and i want to make it explicitly clear that i’m not accusing those who have been drawing bipoc sides of having bad intentions; just that almost all of it has been extremely performative. in using blm for fanart in this way, fanders are taking a real-world issue and turning it into a tool to further our own fandom issue, and that is absolutely not okay. and even when it’s not being utilized for discourse, it can still be extremely insensitive to put real-world struggles side by side with fiction.
my original post about adding resources to fanart was never meant to imply that adding links automatically makes it okay, either. again, i haven’t been on tumblr often and so i had no idea what actual bipoc fanders’ stance on the issue was, and i didn’t want to speak over anyone. what i was trying to say was that if the fandom is going to be so keen on pushing blm, the absolute least that we can do is to actually take the time to educate ourselves on the movement and contribute in other ways as well -- such as signing petitions, donating, et cetera. otherwise, not only is the content performative and potentially hurtful, it’s just plain meaningless.
tl;dr --
black lives matter is not a trend for white and nbpoc people to take advantage of so that they can appear “woke”.
putting fictional fandoms side by side with real life can display an unwillingness to acknowledge the real-world impacts of current events unless presented in a way that specifically appeals to you.
above all, listen to black voices.
(oh, and also: in the interest of raising up bipoc fanders, some wonderful blogs to start with might be @skyscrapersanddandelions, @mxnte, @lamp-calm-sanders, and @aleiimm. however, do not go asking these lovely folks to explain something to you/to provide you further resources. it is not their responsibility to personally educate you. i’m only linking them so that you may support them and -- i really can’t say this enough -- listen to what they have to say.)
#ask me anything#spec speaks#black lives matter#< am i allowed to use that tag even if my post isnt actually sharing resources? bipoc folks PLEASE feel free to correct me anytime#sanders sides#long post#swearing tw#racism tw#kn11t1ngb1mys3lf#discourse tw#ts discourse#< im sorry i seriously never wanted to have to use that tag when i started this blog#but i really cant pretend that everything is fine right now ya feel#on the bright side ive got some older posts queued for tomorrow#to give all yall some room to breathe#i will not stop talking about blm but for me to act like i have to put everything on pause right now would be treating it like a trend#< a trend thats eventually going to end. which its not. black lives will always matter#if ur still reading the tags i love you mwah mwah please take care of yourself mental health breaks are still important
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