#i'm throwing things out there and it's fine this is fine

[sturniolohouse]

That's Life - m.s.

A.N: After the stream where Matt said he liked the name June– which has been a name on my baby list for YEARS now – I couldn't stop thinking about this scenario, so I decided to write it. Sorry if it's bad. (I'd also say they are still very young in this, maybe 23/24. But imagine any age you want, I don't really specify.) Hope you enjoy!

summary: dad!matt - a cute snippet of Matt and y/n becoming brand new parents and Chris and Nick meeting their niece for the first time. mainly fluff :')

warnings: none, really. maybe swearing and mentions of blood? (also use of y/n because apparently that is hated? idk)

word count: 2.4k

--

"Kid, hold her fucking neck." Matt panics as Chris readjusts in his seat on the couch.

"Matt shut the fuck up, I think I know how to hold my own niece." he retorts.

"No, you clearly don't you idiot."

I peer to my left, he holds her with one hand under her head and one hand under her butt, propping her in front of him on his lap. She's perfectly fine, Matt just worries.

"Look she's fine. She's with uncle Chris." Chris looks at her adoringly but Matt cautiously watches, biting his nails.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asks beside me, rubbing my shoulder as I eat my burger. I was starving and the first thing I wanted after giving birth was In and Out, so Matt made sure Nick and Chris brought it for me.

"I'm so tired but just relieved everything went okay."

It was a long labor, almost 20 hours and about an hour of pushing. I waited to the very last minute to get an epidural and Matt almost passed out once he saw what it actually was.

-

"That goes in your fucking spine?" He squeaks, his face turning pale as he nearly keels over.

I'm sat up with the anesthesiologist behind me prepping the needle. I grab Matt's forearms and bring him to stand between my legs so he's hunching in front of me before I collapse my head into his chest and groan.

"Don't fucking look at it, hold my hands." I seethe through the pain as I wait for the contraction to pass.

"I'm so sorry," He says into my ear as they stick the catheter into my spine and I stay as still as possible.

"I want In and Out after this is all over," I breath out, beginning to feel my lower half go numb.

"I'm getting you whatever you fucking want, sweetheart." He looks me dead in the eyes.

-

"It's kinda fucking nuts that she was just inside you, how the fuck did you like..." Chris speaks up looking between the baby and me. "Push her out..." He hesitates and I burst out laughing as Matt throws his arms up and shakes his head at him, stopping himself from knocking Chris' shoulder.

"Well, it wasn't easy." I wipe my tears from my eyes due to my laughter and Nick gives me my water so I don't choke on my dry ass fries.

"Women are the strongest people on the planet." Nick chimes and Matt smiles proudly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's fucking right. So much respect after all I witnessed." Matt rubs his eyes, seeming to be mentally reflecting the past 36 hours.

"She's so fucking cute, looks nothing like Matt." Chris comments, a small smirk growing on his face at the playful jab.

"Okay, give her back you're pissing me off." Matt quickly but gently takes her back even as Chris protests and pouts, sulking back into his chair.

"Lost your baby holding privileges," Nick points at him as Chris makes a face and sticks his tongue out, a throaty bellow echoing in the hospital room.

Nick immediately hushes him. "Can you not act like a barbarian? Fucking idiot." He scolds him.

Matt cradles her softly and my heart still melts at the sight of him holding her. It makes everything I went through so worth it. The both of them do.

-

I lay there in shock with a wailing baby placed on my chest. I look up at Matt on my left and he's got his hand over his mouth and tears brimming his eyes, staring at our baby with so much love.

My chest blooms with warmth and I look down at our daughter. Anyone else would look at her and think she was gross, being purple, covered in goop and blood, but she was quite literally breathtaking. Matt blubbers and bends down so he's more level to me.

"Oh my fucking god," he laughs through his emotion, wiping his eyes quickly and placing a hand on her blanketed back, her cries dying down.

"How the fuck did you do that? You're amazing oh my god." He rambles, kissing my sweaty hairline and I shake my head not really knowing how I did this either.

They let Matt cut the umbilical cord before taking her off me to bathe her quickly.

Matt grabs my face checking in on me. He scans all over my face,"You okay? You did so good, oh my fucking god." I nod quickly, feeling my adrenaline still rushing. It's a weird feeling to describe, but I am so happy.

"She was so tiny, did you see her?" I ask him, my voice a little shaky and he nods laughing, tears still shining in his eyes.

"I did, I did. She's perfect. Thank you." He kisses my lips this time and then looks over to the nurses bringing her over to him.

"You want to hold her, dad?" The nurse smiles and he visibly pales but nods nonetheless and takes her into his arms.

He looks at her and begins to tear up again, having to compose himself by looking up shaking his head. When he looks back at me, I'm sent me over the edge into my own fit of tears.

I would relive this day over and over again to just see that look on his face.

-

He walks over to Nick who's still beside me, bouncing her slightly.

"Nick, cmon. You've yet to hold her." Matt nods toward Nick to take her from his arms. Nick immediately shakes his head and steps back.

"No she's too fresh and tiny. I don't want to break her." He declines.

"Chris get him the pillow. Nick, hold her. You won't break her I promise you." I give him a reassuring rub on the arm and his eyes widen.

"I'm scared," He squeals quietly as he sits down in the chair and Chris sets up the pillow in his lap. Nick covers his mouth as he watches Matt walk over to him. 

Chris puts a hand on his shoulder, "Nick it's gonna be fine." He giggles at his antics and I stifle my own laughter.

"Dude c'mon, I'm telling you to hold my kid not a bomb." Matt rolls his eyes and Nick flips him off.

Matt places her carefully so she's snug in Nick's arms and he freezes immediately.

"What do I do?" He looks up at me in fear.

"Just that. You're doing fine. See, she's perfectly content in your arms." I tell him softly and grab Matt's arm so he stands next to me.

I kiss his forearm and he looks back at me with a warm smile, wrapping his arm around me and sitting beside me on the bed. He pulls me in gently before kissing the top of my head.

"I'm trying to see any real defining features in her but she quite literally just looks like a baby," he studies her face as Chris takes photos of them.

"She definitely looks more like y/n," Matt says, rubbing my arm lightly before stealing one of my fries from my tray.

"I think she has my nose for sure. She hasn't really opened her eyes yet, maybe you can try and wake her up. The nurse should be coming soon to help me feed her."

"I just realized, what's her name?" Nick asks, lightly rubbing her cheek with the back of his finger to try and wake her.

"Yeah, have you guys finally decided?" Chris sits down next to Nick on the couch.

Matt and I look at each other. We had been debating her name since we first saw her face. Of course we had a list prepared but we didn't want to settle on a name until we could match it to her face.

It was hard agreeing on names at first as we had very different tastes but there was one that kept coming back up in conversation and once we saw her it was a no brainer.

I nudge Matt, "Go ahead, tell them." I lean my head against his shoulder.

"Her name is June," They 'aw' in unison.

"June Iris Sturniolo." Matt tells them her full name and he can't help the smile that spreads across his face. 

"I love that, such a sweet name.” Nick smiles down at her.

"Does it have a meaning? Or did you guys just like the name?" Chris pulls back her hat.

"Holy shit, she has a lot of hair." he comments.

"Explains all of my heartburn." I huff and Matt giggles beside me.

"We liked the name and we were looking at lot of nature names, month names, classic names. We landed on June a few times when going over names but didn't want to make it official until we saw her." I start and Matt nods before speaking up.

"Well, we had some music playing during the whole labor and everything but after Y/N started pushing, our playlist ended and started playing whatever. And right before June came out, the song That's Life by Frank Sinatra played. And in the song, there's a line that goes: You're riding high in April, shot down in May but I know I'm gonna change that tune when I'm back on top, back on top in June. Right when we heard that and then we saw her face, we knew that was her name." Matt concluded and I tear up.

"That's so fucking cool," 

"Stop I have chills, oh my god."

"And Iris was my grandmothers name, but we also liked how it sounded with June. It was proven really hard to find a middle name that sounded good with June and Sturniolo." I laugh.

“I love that her name has a cool story behind it that you can tell her one day.” Nick says and I get emotional thinking about telling my daughter the day of her birth.

"Hi June, you gonna wake up for us?" Chris speaks softly to her. She stays put as Nick and Chris look at her expectantly.

"I wouldn't want to open my eyes either if I were just in a a warm dark place for almost nine months and all of sudden I'm in a bright ass hospital room with a loud idiot." Matt speaks looking directly at Chris.

"She must take that after you," I say playfully and rub his chest. He rolls his eyes.

"Aw, a little Mattitude." Chris uses a baby voice, tickling her belly playfully. “Look she even makes Matt’s stank face he does when he’s mad.” He points.

“Oh my god she does,” Nick exclaims.

"Not to be weird, but you are all basically her father since you have identical DNA. Also if you guys have children one day, they'll be genetically June's half-siblings." I state my fun fact and all their faces drop.

Nick gasps, "Wait, that's actually crazy because I was just going to joke around and say 'aw she has my eye-bags'." His eyes widen and I shrug at him proving my point.

"That's so fucking weird." Matt shakes his head in realization.

Chris acts repulsed, putting a hand up. "Yeah, I don't like thinking about that. I'm no one's father, thank God." He does the sign of the cross.

"Yes. Thank God for that." Matt says shortly.

"I don't know, I think Chris will be a good dad one day." I defend him and Matt gives the side eye. 

"Thank you y/n," He says with a hand over his heart.

He walks over to me and gives me a side hug. I kiss his cheek, offering him a fry and he takes it appreciatively.

"I'm definitely staying the fun uncle." Nick states, turning his attention back to June. "One day, you'll be big enough to stay at Uncle Nick's and I'll get you anything you want without your parents knowing," he says quietly to her but we can all still hear him.

She begins to stir in his arms and he freezes again.

"Oh no, she's waking up. Is she gonna cry?" he panics. "Matt quick, take her."

"She might want the boob," he says taking June out of Nick's hold.

She begins to fuss and squirm but Matt calmly shushes her and begins to bounce lightly.

"It's her feeding time in 15 minutes, should I try without the nurse?" I look up at Matt and he shrugs.

"I don't see why not. She's clearly hungry now."

"Uh, should we leave?" Chris says awkwardly and I wave him off.

"I'm gonna cover myself don't worry. Unless you want to leave," I say nonchalantly, not having a care in the world after just about everyone in this hospital has seen me naked. But of course I won't be flashing anyone.

"Junie don't cry, here's mama. She's got the food." Matt tells her quietly, bringing her to me as Chris clears my lap for me and goes to sit down next to Nick again.

"My baby," I pout as I grab her and her little cries die down once she's in my arms. "You already know the deal sister, let's see if we can do this." I talk to her confidently hoping I can do this on my own.

Matt stands beside helping me cover up and get June in the right position.

"There you go, all better." Matt speaks to her softly as she latches on and I exhale in relief. "Good job, mama." He runs his fingers through my hair and rubs my neck.

The nurse walks in mid-feed and praises me. "Looks like you've got it under control here." She smiles and checks my vitals quickly before stepping back out of the room.

Once June finishes eating I burp her upright on my lap, facing her towards everyone. At this point she's wide awake and everyone is staring at her.

"Oh my gosh, her eyes are like, gray," Nick says. 

"Can she see me?" Chris waves at her, shaking his head and sticking his tongue out.

"Her eyes will most likely change color, they can change up until she's a year." I tell them. "And she can probably see you as a blob, Chris. Stop dancing." I tell him and he stops mid griddy. 

"Oh..." He looks defeated and she burps loudly in that moment, making him laugh. "Why does she burp louder than me, she's like 12 hours old." he jokes.

I feel Matt's hand on my shoulder again and he gives me another squeeze. I look up at him and smile tiredly, he leans down to give me a kiss. Something we rarely do in front of others because we hate PDA. But we can't help it this time.

 I hear a snap of a camera and we both look to see Nick with his film camera.

"I couldn't resist. First family portrait." he smiles softly. "I can't believe you're a father, Matthew."

"Believe it, kid."

"Nick, will you actually take our family photos when we get home." I ask rubbing Junie's back. 

"The fact that you even asked that," he says looking offended and everyone laughs. "Of course I will, though."

[lilaccmilk]

If you think I'm pretty, lay your hands on me.

(know you can't stop thinkin' 'bout it)

rich vampire bf! goes feral after you ask his opinion while lingerie shopping; contains: smut obv, vampire stuff(blood drinking, fangs), mention of aphrodisiac

You were out shopping. After shopping for the clothes and all, you decided to buy lingerie. Confused on which one buy, you decided to send pictures of you in both lingeries to your boyfriend who was at work; asking him for his opinion.

First mistake.

He texted you to buy them both. “But it’s expensive babe” you said to the man monster. He scoffed and asked you to buy them both using his card. “Fine then. I’ll be sure to show everything that I bought to you tonight!! Like a fashion show!” you exclaimed.

Second mistake.

Your boyfriend encouraged you to buy more but you shot down that idea. “Lemme continue shopping now, bye, love you” you hung up the phone.

Returning home, you took a bath and wore your boyfriend’s hoodie.

Third mistake.

He loved seeing you in his clothes, liking how they were oversized on you. You being covered in his scent was another thing that calmed the beast inside of him. You hear the opening of door and rushed to greet your boyfriend. He said nothing but just inhaled your scent, pulling you closer.

“Go freshen up!! Have to show you the dresses” you excitedly said, “Hm sure, start with the lingerie f’me yeah?” He spoke in a strained voice, as if holding himself back.

A while later, he was sitting on the bed, waiting patiently. You tried on the flimsy clothing—as if it could be called that. You laughed to yourself. You had sent a picture of you in a different coloured one, but as a surprise you got it in your boyfriend’s favourite colour — royal blue. You stepped out in front of him and looked at him expectantly. “How is it?” You give him a twirl.

Fourth and final mistake. All of these mistakes now tumble down from the edge upon you and you’ve got the consequence, in the form of your vampire lover.

You barely turn to face him again, before a snarl rips put of his throat and in an instant he’s picking you up and throwing you on the bed, with a sense of utter urgency.

“Fucking hell, been teasing me all day, sending pictures of you dolled up and pretty while I’m at work” he grunts out staring at you with eyes darkened by lust. For a moment he looks more like an incubus than a vampire. But when he leans to kiss your neck, marking you as his, his sharp fangs grazing your skin, clear all your doubts. He sinks them into your neck, drinking your blood. The aphrodisiac in his fangs enter your bloodstream, making your mind hazy and overcome with clouds of lust.

He gets out of his clothes, resuming the assault on his neck. You writhe in pleasure and —rip!

You gasp as the lace fabric tears open like paper in the hands of your boyfriend. “That was expensive” you say in shock. “I’ll buy you ten more.” He grits out, “Focus on me.”

He runs his finger through your clit, “Haven’t even done anything and you’re so wet f’me?” He muses and brings his cock in line with your cunt. He slowly slides himself in you, letting out a low hiss and the tightness and warmth.

Without waiting for you to adjust, he starts thrusting himself at a brutal pace. “What were you thinking princess? That you can rile me up and be left unmarked?—hah!” He pants out between thrusts.

“Didn’t -hngg-mean to rile you up-ah” you pant out pathetically. All your thoughts leaking out of you and onto his cock. “But you did my love” he growled. He loved you sure, but right now he was fucking you like he doesn’t.

He looks like he is in a trance, watching his cock piston in and out, in and out, in–

“You.” Thrust. “Are.” Thrust. “Mine.” He ‘s got you in a mating press, your knees all the way over to your chest. You feel flames of pleasure lick up your insides, trying to bring you over the edge. It doesn’t help that the words from your boyfriend make you feel lewd.

“This pussy was –hah– made to be mine. You were made to be mine.” One last thrust and pleasure washes over you in overwhelming waves. Thick ropes of cum fill your pussy. You pant heavily, feeling tired.

By the time you think that he is done with you, you look like you’ve been thrown to the wolves. But no— he is a vampire— a creature of the night. And the night has only just begun. You riled up the beast and now you have to deal with the consequences.

my ancestors must be feeling real proud of me rn 😌

[sunnylua]

loml | G. Satoru

angst, arranged marriage;

-

You had to excuse yourself from the table. The sight of a woman, who’s now the fiancee of the man who swore he’d give you the stars and the moon, intertwining her fingers with his. It made you want to throw up. Your heart clenched in the worst way as you stepped out of the café.

Such an idiot. He really thought it was a good idea for me to meet her.

You left for a few years and you came back to this. The love of your life marrying someone else.

He had to excuse himself too, following you outside. He gently tapped your shoulder once he reached you.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, his signature smile on his lips, which immediately faded when he sensed something was off.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just needed some air.” You replied.

“You’re a terrible liar.” He leaned back on a wall next to you.

A dry chuckle escaped your lips. “I hate that you know me well.”

His expression continued worried. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?” He was still your best friend after all.

You sighed. “I don’t know, I just don’t feel very comfortable.” Uncomfortable was an understatement. You felt like your heat was being ripped out of your chest.

He nodded. “You don’t feel comfortable seeing us together.” You didn’t want to admit it to him, but he already knew.

“Can you blame me? How was I supposed to expect you were going to marry someone… and so suddenly.” You looked away from his eyes, you felt ashamed.

Satoru let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you like this. It's just..." He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts and articulate what he wanted to say. He knew that there was no easy way to explain the situation.

“It's just... my clan. They basically forced me to marry her. They wanted someone from another powerful family to continue their bloodline. It's a stupid tradition, I know..."

He paused for a moment, his eyes searching your face for any sign of understanding. He wasn’t trying to make excuses, he just wanted you to understand the difficult position he was in.

You sighed. “I can’t even be mad at you…” As much as you wanted to blame him for it, you couldn’t. You knew it wasn’t his fault, or hers.

Satoru’s shoulders relaxed, relieved that you weren't angry at him. He took a step closer to you, his hand gently reaching out to touch your shoulder. He looked into your eyes, his expression filled with guilt. "I never wanted this, you know? I never wanted to marry someone I don’t even love...”

You took a deep breath, looking away from him. “You look good together, might be convenient.”

Satoru's jaw tightened as he clenched his fists at his sides. He knew deep down that what you said had some truth to it, but hearing it out loud made him feel a pang of frustration and anger. "Is that all you see it as? A convenient arrangement? Do you think I actually wanted this, that I'm happy to marry a woman I don't even love?"

“I know you don’t, but that’s what it is now.” You were saying things you didn’t mean, your logic fighting with your emotions.

Satoru's expression softened once again. He knew you were right, but hearing it from you stung nonetheless. He let out a defeated sigh and leaned against the wall. "Yeah... you're right. That's what it is now. A convenient arrangement that I'm forced into."

You looked at him, seeing his sad eyes made your heart ache. “I’m sorry this is happening…” You sighed.

Satoru shook his head, his eyes falling to the ground. He appreciated your sympathy, but it didn’t make the situation any easier to bear. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I should have told you about this sooner..."

After a short silence you spoke. “Don’t invite me to the wedding.”

Your words hit Satoru like a punch to the gut. He flinched slightly, his mind spinning. He hadn't even considered the wedding. And now, hearing you refuse to attend... It hurt. A lot. "You... what?”

You press your lips, your eyes were getting teary “God, don’t even tell me the date or the place.”

As your eyes filled with tears, Satoru's expression turned pained. He hated seeing you like this, but he knew he was the one who caused it. He swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke quietly. "I... I won't tell you the date. But... Damn it, yn. Will I even see you again before that?"

“Would it make sense to?” Your tears finally ran down your cheeks.

Satoru's voice caught in his throat. He knew the answer to your question, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. "No... it probably wouldn’t make sense. But damn it, I don’t care. I want to see you."

You slightly shook your head. “It’s not fair… for me or for her.” Your voice cracked. You wanted to tell him that you loved him and you’d wait for him. To run away with you.

Satoru frowned at your words, his brows furrowing. "Since when were you so concerned about what's fair? Since when has life ever been fair to us?"

“You’re right. Nothing is fair.” Your voice became firm as you looked at him again.

Satoru took another step closer to you again. "Exactly. Life's not fair, and we've both been through our fair share of unfairness. But that doesn't mean… that doesn't mean we have to give up on the things we care about."

“So what will you do, huh? What, Satoru?” You were getting irritated, this whole situation wouldn’t have been happening if you didn’t leave for that stupid mission. “Are you going to ignore the fact that you’re getting married and meet me behind them all?”

Satoru let out a frustrated exhale, running a hand through his hair. He knew that what he was about to say next was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. "Yes. That’s exactly what I want to do. I want to ignore that I’m getting married and continue seeing you. I don’t want to lose you."

You looked at him in the eyes that were now tearing up despite looking angry. “You know you can’t…”

Satoru’s heart sank as he watched the tears well up in your eyes. He knew you were right, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept it. "Damn it yn, I know! I know it’s stupid and selfish, but I can’t help it. I can’t bear the thought of losing you."

“I don’t want this either… but you’re losing me.”Those words escaped your lips hurting both the both of you. Those words resounded loudly as if they were the only words that could be heard.

Satoru’s heart squeezed in his chest as you said those words. He took a step back, his arms hanging limply at his sides. "You’re right, I did. But I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to accept that I can’t see you anymore. That I can’t touch you.”

“It’s time to start facing it, Satoru.” You said quietly looking away.

“Easier said than done… how do you expect me to feel when I’m losing the woman I love the most in my life.” He said irritated.

“And how do you think I feel? Coming back after two years to see you hand in hand with the perfect woman?!” You almost cried saying this, feeling like you had a knife twisting in your chest.

Satoru took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He hated seeing you so upset, and it was killing him knowing that there was nothing he could do to change the situation. "I wish things could be different. I wish I could choose who I wanted to be with. But the clan…" He trailed off, his voice filled with bitterness.

“It’s always the clan…” You said under your breath. “There’s no more today say. You… you should go back inside. We’ve been here for so long.” You wiped your tears with the back of your hand.

Satoru looked conflicted. He didn’t want to go back, he wanted to spend more time with you, but he knew he didn’t have a choice. He reluctantly nodded, his expression resigned. "Yeah, you’re right. I should go back."

He looked at you, his eyes red and tear stained cheeks. “I’m sorry, yn. I really am…”

“I am too…”

The both of you parted ways. Walking back to your new lives without each other. It turned from calling the love of your life to loss of your life.

-

Lua’s note: damn

[peachhcs]

summer days

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

a small glimpse into spending the summer on the lake with the hughes siblings + company

1.7k words

as requested, here’s samy & the guys enjoying a fun day on the lake. this takes place a few weeks before samy + will talk during their vacation. i also didn’t know how to really end this so if it’s bad i’m sorry lol btw i'm sorry for my lack of posts, i've been super busy so i got a little behind!

au masterlist

"come on, moose, you don't ever back down from a challenge," ethan hollered from across the boat where mark, rutger, gavin, dylan and seamus all sat watching their friend bicker back and forth with jack.

samy snickered along with kayleigh, hannah, ryan, gabe, drew, and aram from the other side of the boat. it started with jack bragging about how he had the record for being able to stay up on the board longer than any of his siblings. luke's always been the most competitive out of the four of them, so he took jack's words to heart, arguing he stayed on way longer. of course, the middle hughes challenged his younger brother to a friendly competition.

"alright, fine. fine. you're on," luke shook jack's hand like they were making a deal. the older brother smirked, looking to quinn who was amused by the entire thing.

"okay, i'm up first then," jack dropped the board into the water before zipping up into his life jacket.

"jesus, you guys are competitive," hannah rolled her eyes slightly making samy giggle.

"just be glad i didn't decide to join in. we all know i can stay on way longer than them," the youngest hughes hummed, eyes landing on luke who heard all of it.

"don't you start with me, too," the boy warned her making samy shrug.

"what? you're just scared all of us are better than you," she stuck her tongue out making the guys laugh.

"keep talking and i'll throw you off the boat," luke's tone went flat, but samy knew he was just messing with her. he was trying to act tough as always in front of his friends because his little sister could not be better at him at wakeboarding.

"maybe we should add the rest of the siblings into this friendly fire," jack grinned, overhearing the conversation.

"hey, i'm in. you guys know i'm way better than all of you combined," the younger brunette stood, throwing her own life jacket on.

"is that so? why don't you go first then. show us how it's done if you're so much better than us," jack held his hand out to where the board was, the rope in his other hand.

"you're on," samy said before she jumped into the lake.

she came back up and climbed her way onto the board while jack handed her the tug rope. hannah and kayleigh shot their friend two thumbs up while samy gave quinn her own thumbs up indicating she was good to go.

the oldest hughes revved up the engine again and started pulling samy along. she glided across the water before quinn went fast enough to create waves. the guys cheered the girl on while jack kept the time on his phone.

she hit some of the waves in impressive jumps, letting the board take her across the water. "shit, she may be better than you guys after all," mark laughed.

"shut up," luke rolled his eyes in annoyance, but he secretly was impressed that samy hadn't fallen off yet. she never stayed on for more than minute when they were younger and now they were significantly past a minute.

the boat began rounding a corner, so samy leaned back, dipping her finger tips into the wave while the other held the rope tightly. jack checked the time again and saw that his sister was inching closer to five minutes which was a near record for her because she never lasted until then.

"looks like we got some real competition, huh?" jack nudged luke's arm, a smile spreading across his lips.

as much as luke wanted to be mad, he couldn't. he enjoyed seeing samy take on the waves that were once so hard for he. plus, seeing her as happy as them put a smile on his face because it meant she wasn't thinking about will.

after another couple of minutes, samy fell off. everyone on the clapped for the younger girl while quinn slowed the boat back down and circled back around for her. jack and luke helped her back on and held their hands out for high-fives.

"awesome run little hughesy," jack side hugged his sister.

"i guess you have been practicing," luke hummed making the girl giggle.

"i mean i have to do something while you guys aren't here," she threw her life jacket off before going to accept her high-fives from everyone else.

with jack and luke being a bit rusty, they didn't stay on as long as they did normally. jack would complain and say it was his shoulder still healing, while luke mumbled something about being away making him "lose his talent." despite it, the others enjoyed seeing the siblings bickering with one another about stupid things. it always felt like summer whenever the hughes kids got into it with one another for some friendly fire.

samy even convinced hannah to finally give it a go after her refusing to try it. she only stayed on for a minute, but the others cheered for her bravery. gabe and ryan started getting good at it after spending the last three years trying to perfect their form while the other two were too afraid to do it still.

things died down a bit after an hour. everyone spread themselves out while quinn drove them back towards the house. samy sat on the bench with her legs curled to her chest and nose in a book when gabe plopped himself down beside her. she turned to him, smiling a bit.

"hey," the brunette hummed.

"hey. reading anything good?" gabe asked, trying to catch a glance of her book.

"just this memoir. it's actually really good," she showed the boy the cover that read everything i know about love. it was something samy heard about online and wanted to give it a try considering she'd just gotten out of a relationship.

"looks good. this was a fun day," the dark-haired boy said, gaze falling across everyone on their phones or close to sleep from the long day in the sun.

"yeah, it was. i always like entertaining my brother's teasing. although, it still has felt..different. i hate that we're missing.." samy trailed off, but she didn't need to say their names for gabe to know who she was talking about.

"yeah, i get it," the hockey player frowned.

"i just hate that everything is like ruined between all of us. i mean..of course will didn't want to come. grace probably felt weird coming too," the lake house wasn't the same without the smith siblings there and everyone knew it.

"you know they would've been here if they could've. will's got his many things to do before joining the sharks and grace is searching for places and a job. you'll still see them for the family vacation," gabe found samy's gaze again.

"the family vacation is more of a forced thing. just being here..i know will's trying to busy himself as an excuse for not coming. it's probably better like this anyway because i didn't want to really see him anyway," the girl sighed a little. even if he did break her heart, she still thought he'd come to the lake house this summer.

"but you wished he was here, right?"

samy didn't respond. instead, she refocused her attention on her book leaving gabe to sit beside her in silence. the two didn't speak until they reached the dock again where samy scrambled up to help tie the boat in with her brothers. once they secured everything, she beelined to the house.

her bedroom door shut tightly, locking herself in for a moment. she dug her phone out from her pocket where she clicked around until bauer hockey's instagram page lit up her screen. for a moment, samy stared at the pictures of will on her screen and his huge smile like nothing was wrong. he looked so happy in all of them like he was having a blast and here she was with him stuck in her mind.

she probably hadn't even crossed his mind once.

samy threw her phone on her bed, a frustrated sigh leaving her lips. she shouldn't do this to herself. it was summer. she wasn't going to waste these months sulking about him when nothing mattered but being outside and getting really bad sunburns.

"samy? you in here?" ryan's voice startled the girl when he knocked. she quickly popped the door back open a crack where the taller brunette stood on the other side with a raised eyebrow.

"hey, sorry. just looking for something," she mustered her best smile.

"okay, just checking in. you kind of took off once we docked," ryan laughed a bit while samy forced her own little chuckle.

"yeah, my bad. i'll be down in a second," with that, ryan left and samy released the breath she was holding in.

she quickly changed out of her suit back into some more comfortable clothes before racing back downstairs. the others piled into the kitchen searching for something that wasn't the snacks they ate all day.

"shit, i'm starving," gavin mumbled as he stuffed leftovers into his mouth.

"you guys are disgusting," hannah rolled her eyes, tugging her brother out of the way in search of her own food.

"nice shirt," someone nudged samy's arm. gabe stood at her side again, eyeing the clothes on her body. the girl's gaze flicked down, widening a bit when her shirt read boston college hockey across the front because everyone knew who that belonged to.

"m-must've been mixed into my clothes still," she managed weakly. gabe just shrugged.

"you know it's not too late to..reach out?" his voices lowered a few tones so no one else heard.

almost immediately, samy's expression crinkled up, "no way. he's busy with the bauer combine. plus, i'm sure he's met a bunch of other girls there anyway."

gabe didn't say anything, but all he could think about as samy said that was the call him and ryan got from the blonde a few days ago while he had a panic attack in a bathroom. now if only samy knew that..

"guys, wait! you know what i just realized we haven't done yet this summer?" ethan quickly spoke up, catching everyone's attention.

his gaze turned to samy's, flashing with some sort of mischief as he began inching closer to the younger girl. "i think it's time for throwing samy into the pool!" the older boy exclaimed before running at her.

samy shrieked, pushing gabe out of the way as she attempted to run away from her brother's friends despite them rounding every corner in means of capturing her.

[artists-ally]

Hi! So I was the anon that asked about size difference and I’m happy that you like it :) my request would be Harvey with a reader that’s on the shorter or petite side. Harvey cannot contain the thoughts running through his mind when his clothes easily drown you or how both your hands can be covered by his. I can just imagine him fucking the reader deep and groaning when he sees her tummy bulge 🙈

{My Hands, Your Lips} Reader x Harvey Specter

I'm gonna pretend I'm not as turned on by the thought of Harvey pushing my knees up to my ears and making fun of how much smaller I am than he is. Toootalllyyy not gonna do that... ahaha- Anywaaayyy enjoy!!! Title inspired by this song.

Word Count: 6,366

Warnings: Petite/Small reader, Smut; size kink, dom!Harvey, spitting, choking, degrading, spanking, bondage, mild breeding kink.

Tagging: @rosedpetal @blacktreacle22 @bbyanarchist

~~~~~

“Harvey, don't you think I should wear heels with the dress? If I don’t then I barely come up to your chest.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “No heels.”

“Why are you so adamant that I shouldn’t wear heels tonight?” I didn’t mind taking opinions from him every once in a while, but he rarely tells me not to wear something. 

“You don’t need to make yourself taller, Yn,” he whispered, placing his hands on my shoulders. “You’re too fucking pretty for anyones good, and I don’t need the people at this party thinking they have a chance.”

There has been something off about him for the last few days anyway. He’s been more pent up than usual. A lot more… touchy. Specifically picking me up and putting me wherever he wants. Setting me on the counter while he’s cooking, picking me up and throwing me on the bed before we go to sleep. Nothing overly sexual, but it’s clear there’s been something else going on.

“What’s been up with you lately?” I ask straight up. 

“Nothing, I just don’t want you to wear heels.”

“Why don’t you want me to wear heels?”

“Because, I asked you not to.”

I tilted my head to the side. Let's see if this theory is correct. “Is it because you want me to be smaller than you?”

“Yn, don’t.”

Ding ding ding!

A smirk brightens onto my face. I’ve suspected for a while now that Harvey has a thing for how much smaller I am than him. It’s clear he’s been trying to tell me– or rather cryptically showing me by physically demonstrating so.

The grin only gets wider.

“I asked you nicely once. Don’t.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, you win. Be mysterious and oddly demanding about what I wear.”

Before I could even reach for the pair of heels I was planning to wear, Harvey had gripped my arm, spun me around, and his hand was around my throat.

“You know no matter what you wear, you look stunning. And if you must know, I think everyone’s focus is going to be on you anyway tonight. And I don’t need everyone staring at what’s mine.”

Oh. OH. Oh my. 

I genuinely didn’t have a response other than a shiver rolling through my body. I knew he felt it because his grip tightened, both on my hip and around my neck.

“You know you can wear whatever you want, but just know, I’m willing to deal with the consequences of anyone who looks for too long.”

“Harvey, that’s a little extreme,” I chuckle, trying to make light of a clearly serious topic for him. “What about this particular event has got you so stressed out about everyone looking at me?”

“It’s our first formal, corporate event together,” Harvey explains. “No one has ever seen you all dressed up. And I’m not sure I want them to because… fuck, Yn you looks so good tonight.” The compliment makes my heart mushy. “Harvey, you know I’d never-”

“It’s not about that. Of course I know you won’t let anything happen. It’s everyone else’s grubby little hands I’m worried about. It’s a dog eat dog mentality in the world of law. Everyone at the event is not afraid to take what they want, go after it with everything they’ve got.”

“So it’s going to be a room full of men like you? And Jessica, of course. I’m excited to meet more women like Jessica. Oh! Will–”

Harvey cuts off my question with a deep laugh. He spins me around and places his hands on my hips while he looks down at me. “I literally just told you that every man here will want to have a piece of you, and you’re more worried about meeting more women like Jessica?”

“Yup,” I nod, pressing up on my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Because I know you will keep me safe.”

I watched his eyes change. The smile faded and I felt his grip tighten. Again. “Fuck Yn you always know just what to say.”

I let my arms fall around his shoulders, our fronts cradled close. “And I say lets get the fuck out of here and go party.”

~~~~~~

Ray stops the car at the base of the staircase that led up to this gorgeous venue. We were in Washington D.C. for this conference. Lawyers and other legal personnel from all over the country were invited to network and do whatever other corporate bullshit they desire. There were guest speakers, of which Jessica was invited to give a talk on her journey of being a first in class Harvard graduate.

Bad. Ass. 

There had been a convention with a ton of vendors, a cooking class, and a shitload of corporate jargon. Being in a room, albeit a very big room, with hundreds of lawyers was starting to eat away at my brain cells. I’m glad it’s the last event of the week. 

The gala. 

The streets were lined with luxurious cars and limos, guests exiting and ascending the staircase in their finest glam. Everyone looks exquisite and propper. Who doesn’t love to play dress-up every now and then?

Per Harvey’s request, I did not wear heels. I settled for a pair of black sandals with a pearled band around the ankle. They did have a small heel. Frankly everything I wore that wasn’t flip-flops had a bit of a heel to it. But they weren’t the stiletto pumps I was going to dawn instead. 

I had bought those shoes to specifically go with this dress too. And this dress… It had one inch straps that formed a square neckline. The bodice had corset paneling that was lined with sheer lace. The skirt hugged my hips and then the slit opened it up. Gorgeous. And I had a coupon. Win win. 

With my hand wrapped around Harvey’s arm, we walked in together, greeting people left and right. I was finally beginning to understand just how powerful Harvey actually is in the world of law. Everyone knows he is. Sean Evans, a guest speaker from Seattle, even knew who he was. We were watching his speech on how to give a thorough deposition, and he called Harvey out by name from the crowd.

Wild shit going on here. I was just content being arm candy all night. 

“Ahh, there he is,” Jessica calls out from the cocktail bar. “Harvey, Yn, this is Michael Bunting, one of my old professors from Harvard.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Specter. I’ve heard many things about you, glad to finally be able to meet in person,” Michael smiled pleasantly, shaking Harvey’s hand firmly. “And you must be Mrs. Specter.”

“Oh, no no I’m-”

“Not yet,” Harvey cuts in. I give him a raised eyebrow and he just winks at me. 

Well… guess we’re gonna talk about that later. 

“Let me buy you each a drink,” Michael offers. 

“No drinks for us tonight, but thank you anyway. It’s kind to offer.”

Okay, clearly Harvey has some sort of ulterior motive for later tonight because when has he ever turned down a free drink? I sort of pay attention to whatever Harvard/lawyer lingo their yapping about, but it doesn’t strike any of my interests. I see Rachel and Mike across the room so I pat Harvey on the shoulder and ditch him for her.

Before I can get a few steps, he tugs me right into his chest. “Where do you think you’re going?”

My knees go a little weak. “Just to chat with Rachel.”

“I’ll walk you over.”

“That’s a little much, Harvey.” I ‘adjust’ his tie to give my hands something to do. “Besides, you’re chatting with that professor. I have no fucking clue what you all are talking about, and I need Rachel’s opinion on a new curling iron I was gonna buy.”

“Trust me, the last thing I want to be doing is chatting with Michael Bunting. That guy doesn’t know his left shoe from his right shoe.”

Curious, I look down at his feet. I’ll be damned. His left shoe is on his right foot. Seriously. 

“Huh, a bit ironic isn’t it? An established Harvard law professor doesn’t know which shoe belongs on what foot.”

“See where I’m getting with this? Wherever you go, I go.”

With a playful smile, I ask, “What happens when I need to go to the bathroom?”

He bends his head down and whispers in my ear. “Trust me, you don’t want me to come in there with you, sweetheart.” It doesn’t take long before a pulse settles between my thighs. Harvey just chuckles, kissing the space behind my ear. “I bet you’d like me to follow you, huh? Lock the door. Bend you over the sink. One hand in your hair, pulling it back so you have to watch in the mirror. The other covering your mouth because you don’t know how to be quiet.”

Suddenly, my curling iron questions seem inferior to what is happening. 

I knew he was pent up, but this is… this is different. 

“So yes, I will be escorting you anywhere you wanna go tonight. Understand?”

All I could manage was a nod. Harvey has always been dominant, but this is uncharted territory for our relationship. And I’m kind of fucking loving it.

He pulls away from my space and grabs my hand, dragging me behind him. Curse him and those long legs. I have to skip a step and then another one so I can stay behind him. With his shoulders blocking the way, I can’t see where we’re going. To the bathroom? A coat closet? Maybe to-

“Rachel, Mike,” he greets. I have to fight to keep the frown at bay. 

“Yn!” Rachel says elatedly. “God, you look stunning. Where did you get that dress? And those sandals are adorable!”

“Have fun,” Harvey spoke softly, kissing the back of my hand before leaving me with Rachel. 

I tell her all about the dress and the sandals, and about Harvey not wanting me to wear heels. And the… context to it as well. She had a knowing smirk on her face. Mike left us to our devices after he heard her say ‘I think you’re going to need to take a sick day after what Harvey is going to do to you’.

Oh how I wish she’s right. 

“I mean, is it that bad?”

“Is what that bad?” She quirks her head to the side, sipping whatever pink, goddess looking cocktail she has. It literally has glitter in it.

“The height difference.”

Her eyes scan me up and down, “Well, it’s certainly more apparent without the heels, that’s for sure. But I mean it’s cute. He’s like a head and a half taller than you.”

“It’s like standing next to a giraffe. I know Harvey isn’t that tall, I think I’m just that short, you know? It’s annoying. I have to look so far up at him. And I had the cutests shoes I was gonna wear with this dress. ‘Till mister ‘I can reach the top shelf everywhere’ told me not to.”

Rachel snorted, a drop or two or seven of her cocktail spewing out from her lips. “Yn, you look hot no matter what you wear. And if Donna was here to scold you, she’d say something along the lines of ‘there isn’t anything a bit of pouty lips and fuck me eyes can’t do’. So, since Donna isn’t here, go give Harvey some pouty lips and fuck me eyes.”

I just smile. I love Rachel so much. “I would go find him, but he might pull me into a backroom and literally beat my ass. He walked me over here just so he wouldn’t lose sight of me.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Both of us laugh at the ridiculousness of it, but it is kinda true. I could easily disappear and no one would notice. Literally. I might be the smallest one here and it would be easy to stick to the wall and–

“Excuse me, ladies, but might one of you point me in the direction of the nearest balcony?”

I looked over my shoulder to a man who had a charming smile. His hair was combed back and he had on a tux. As if it would help, I stood on my toes and tried to look for one, but legit couldn’t see a thing. 

Rachel had a nasty look on her face. I looked between the two of them, waiting for… something to happen.

“Zane.”

“It’s Ross, actually. But I’m sure you already knew that, Tanner.”

“Uhh–” they clearly know each other.

“Who’s your friend?” This Tanner guy asks. He looks at me and takes a sip of his drink. 

“You don’t need to know, beat it.”

Oh, so this is obviously an ex or something. He looks a little older, but who am I to judge?

“I’m Travis Tanner,” he extends a hand. “An old friend of the frim.”

“Take your sleazy hands somewhere else, Tanner,” Rachel takes a step towards him, standing shoulder to shoulder with me.

“Relax, Ross,” he says. “I’m just trying to talk to her. I didn’t ask for her hand in holy matrimony. Go find that little associate of yours so I can buy her a drink.”

I felt a presence behind me, then an arm slip around my waist. The cologne I picked out earlier this morning wafted around me and I let myself lean into Harvey. 

“Say one more thing to her and I’ll put you on the floor, Tanner.”

I have never heard Harvey sound so threatening. 

I watched his brown eyes go from me, and then distinctly up to Harvey. “Of course.”

That grip around my hip tightened and I laid my palm over his hand to get him to relax. It did nothing. “Rachel, would you mind going to find Mike for me? I need to ask him a few questions on what the expected sentence time is for a man who is about to make another unrecognizable to his face ID.”

“Gladly,” she says, marching off to my left. 

“Darling, you’re seriously with a man who is verbally threatening to beat the shit out of another?”

“I’m about to get a whistle and referee the match because I think Harvey would like to go a few rounds with you,” I state my view on the matter. 

Travis grins at me. “I see why you like her. She’s feisty, can pack a punch in that small frame of hers.”

I can feel Harvey take a deep, steadying breath. “My love?”

“Hmm?” I look up at him.

“Get behind me.”

“Harvey–” He gently unwinds his arm around my waist and steps in front of me. The taught muscles in his shoulders pop out through his shirt. He ditched his jacket somewhere along the way.

I look over to my left just as Rachel finds Mike. She whispers something to him and I watch as his whole face changes. He whips his head around and we lock eyes. With his drink forgotten on the small bar-top table, he heads for our direction.

“Make a comment about my girl again, and I swear to God I will knock your teeth out.”

“Relax, Harvey. Why don’t you ask her what she would like to do. You seem to be awfully keen on making decisions for her,” Travis suggests. What a cocky son of a bitch. Does he actually think I’d give up Harvey for him? What a fucking joke. 

“I think you’re right,” Harvey agrees. He steps to the side just as Mike gets there. “What do you think, sweetheart? Would you like to sucker punch him or shall I?”

I can’t help the evil look that crosses my face. Instead of answering him, I simply grab a hold of his tie and yank his lips down to mine. He answers with a vicious bite, groaning into my mouth. His palm finds my neck, not being shy about the show. 

When I pull away, I’m left breathless and more than a little turned on. I know my lipstick is smudged to hell because I can see it on Harvey’s mouth. With a wicked smirk, I turn to Travis, who is red all over. “I think I’d just rather show him all he’ll never be able to touch.”

Harvey, again, plants himself behind me, but keeps his hand wrapped around my throat. “You heard her, Tanner. If I were you, I’d probably try, too. She is one of a kind. But she’s mine. She lives in my home. Eats the meals I cook for her. Wears my shirt after I’ve fucked her until she’s whimpering my name. She’ll have my ring on her finger one day. Have my last name. ‘Yn Specter’ sounds a whole lot better than ‘Yn Tanner’, don’t you think? So, while you still have your dignity–no matter how many times I have to take it from you in court–I suggest you get the fuck out of here. Now. And if I ever hear of you talking about her, I’ll break more than your teeth.”

Everyone had a look of shock across their face. Including me. 

Without a parting word, Tanner left. I felt Harvey let out a breath as he dropped his hand from my throat. 

I breathed a sigh of relief. Mostly for the fact that I didn’t have to call the police to report a homicide and then run off into the sunset to escape for being a possible accomplice. 

“Well,” Mike scratches the back of his head, clearing his throat. “That was certainly… something.”

“What the hell is going on over here?” Jessica steps into our circle. “And why the hell did I just see Travis Tanner practically sprinting towards the exit?”

“He tried to put the hots on Yn,” Rachel has the most sinister look on her face. I give her a look that screams ‘really?’. She just mouths ‘good dick tonight’ before winking at me. 

Is it bad I was already thinking the same thing?

“What the hell did you say to him?” Jessica asks Harvey.

“Trust me you do not wanna know,” Mike says before Harvey has the chance to elaborate. “I think I need to go bleach my ears.”

Rachel just laughs at him. “We’ll see you guys back at the office on Monday.”

As they leave, Jessica looks at the two of us expectantly. “Well?”

“Just be thankful that what came out of his mouth didn’t become reality. Otherwise there might be a lawsuit on your hands,” I explained. “I took care of it.”

“So what I’m hearing is I should hire you to defuse all of the fires Harvey tends to ignite?”

I giggle, stepping into his side. “I think that spark is the exact reason you hired him in the first place.”

Harvey glances down at me, a fond, proud look in his eyes. He kisses the top of my head. “Plus, if you hired her, I’m not sure my production value would go up.”

“Well, now that that image is burned into my head, I’m gonna go drink it away. Oh, and Harvey?”

“Yes?”

“The next time you get the chance to punch Travis Tanner in the face, don’t hesitate.”

I stared at Jessica in disbelief, jaw to the floor. “I knew I liked her.”

“Yn,” Harvey spins me around to face him. He takes my face in his hands, scanning my eyes back and forth. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, he was just–”

“Did he try to touch you? Did he actually touch you?” 

I remove his hands from my face, grasping them in my own. “No, Harvey. He didn’t. I’m not sure Rachel would’ve let him take another step anyway. Who is that guy? Why do we all collectively hate his guts?

“I’ll tell you on the way home.”

“We’re leaving?”

“Fuck yes,” he hooks two fingers in his tie and yanks it loose. “I can’t stand being here anymore and I can’t stand seeing men gawk at what’s mine either.”

“Harvey, I don’t think everyone is gawking at me.”

So fast the room blurs, he pins my back to his front and grips my chin. “Just look around, Yn. Notice how everyone is sneaking glances at you? Even if they're with a date, everyone has their eyes on you. They always have their eyes on you. Fuck Yn… you have no idea just how easily you could bring all of them to their knees.”

“The only man in this room I want to see on their knees is you while you're between mine.”

Hearing the tremor in his breath does more things to me than I’d care to admit. “You’re gonna regret saying that. Let's go.”

~~~~~

On the car ride back, Harvey explains everything that has to do with Travis Tanner. Safe to say I am now a certified hater. What a fucking cunt. An actual asshole. And now knowing that he’s crossed and fucked with so many people I love and care about? Next time I see him I’ll put my fist through his face. 

Bitch. 

Enough thinking about this dick-wad. I have Harvey literally dragging me down the hallway from the elevator to his door. He shoves the key in on the first try (thank god) and slams it closed. My skin is on fire with a need for his lips all over me. 

I don’t care where. 

I need him everywhere. 

He easily picks me up and bends me over the side of the couch. Harvey’s hands carefully remove my sandals, placing kisses up my calves as he goes. Those skilled fingers of his move my skirt out of the way, pushing it up over my ass. 

He pauses. And I grin. 

“You are such a little devil, aren’t you?” A single finger trails up the inside of my thigh. Then a hand cracks down on my ass. My very bare ass. Did I purposefully not wear anything underneath? Yes. I absolutely did. 

“I figured you wouldn’t want to waste time.”

“Please,” he scoffs, “getting the privilege of undressing you is no waste of time.”

My heart aches. How could I have gotten a man with the most perfect mix of worship and corruption?

Harvey stands and presses his need into me. “Feel that? God Yn, you have no fucking clue what you do to me, do you? It still amazes me every time, how you take me so well.”

“I just like being good for you,” I admit. He grinds his hips harder, pushing me deeper over the couch. 

“Yeah? Gonna be good and take it, huh?” I nod as best I can. “Yeah, I know you will. On your knees first, pretty girl.”

There isn’t anything I’m not willing to do for Harvey when he calls me his pretty girl. It’s just a fact. 

Heat courses through me as I sink to my knees, staring at him. All the way up… Fuck he is so much bigger than I am. This might be the first time I’m truly noticing it. 

One button at a time, he undoes his shirt. He throws it to the side, making a show of the belt next.

“Give me your hands.” I give my wrists to him, watching carefully as he folds the belt into a figure-eight and gives it a tug into place. “Now open up, tongue out.”

A rough hand on my chin makes me open my mouth wide, tongue rolling out. He rolls his against his cheek, then spits in my mouth. The whimper I let out is embarrassing. I can’t help the flush that burns up my neck and to my cheeks. 

“You’re fucking mine.”

I’m breathless as he shoves down his dress pants and boxers. I don’t even get a chance to admire him before Harvey shoves all the way down my throat. Tears sting my eyes when I gag, but the feeling of him against my tongue outweighs my need for air. 

“For every tear that rolls down your pretty little face, I’m gonna make you cum that many times.”

Oh dear God…

Okay, I have to focus. 

I am careful about my breath control. Between the taste and the sound of him it’s incredibly difficult to focus on anything other than the outrageous throbbing between my legs. 

“Fuck, just like that pretty girl. Keep taking it so well and I’ll give you anything you want.”

He knows how to make my brain melt. I relax, letting him all the way down. He stays there, pelvis to my nose for a few seconds. I know he likes watching the tears form in my eyes, so I look up at him. 

“Aww, I know it’s so big for you. But you’re doing such a good job, Yn. Just a little more then I’ll give you what you really want. F-Fuck that feels so good.”

I grin internally, knowing he loves it when I press my tongue up onto the underside of his dick. I do it a few more times while he thrusts in and out, more than enjoying hearing him fall apart. 

For a few minutes, he rocks in and out. An abundance of praise falling from his lips. Telling me how pretty I look, explaining how I’m his and only his to see like this. I’d have no one else ever again. He has ruined me for anyone else. 

Precisely how I want it. 

“You wanna cum, don’t you, pretty thing?” Harvey mocks, grabbing my hair at the root and nodding it for me. “Yeah I know you do, you love it when I make you cum. Show me those tears, baby. As many as you want. Wanna make you feel so fucking good.”

When the tip of his cock hits the back of my throat, I choke. And he does it again, eyes trained on mine. I feel the tears swell up. Not too many, I’d like to be able to walk tomorrow. 

On purpose, he does it again. And again. And again until twin tears are rolling down my cheeks. One from each eye. 

“Two? Come on, I think you want more than that, don’t you?” I shake my head no, but he doesn’t let up. “If you don’t want more, then don’t let any others slip, sweetheart. I’m not done fucking your mouth yet.”

It’s relentless. His pace is nothing short of brutal, and it takes everything in me not to start sobbing. I tried to close my eyes, but he ripped his dick out of me so fast I almost fell over.

“Did I fucking tell you to close your eyes?”

“N-No Harvey,” I whisper. 

“Then keep them open.”

I have no choice but to obey. Somehow, I don’t let anymore breach the boundaries of my lashes. He didn’t wanna finish down my throat, so he pulled out and brought me to my feet. He thumbs my swollen lips, and I gently suck his finger. 

“You are gonna be the death of me, woman.”

“What a way to go,” I chide, earning myself a smack on the ass.

“Bed. Now.”

“Yes sir,” I respond, relishing the way his eyes darken. He removes the belt from my wrists, kissing the red marks. He picks me up, wraps my legs around his hips, and walks us to our room. 

The air in there is cold and my skin breaks into goosebumps. Or maybe it’s just the way he’s kissing me. Like he's worried I’m not real, some dream he’s going to wake up from. Desperate. Needy. Deprived. His hands grab around my waist and he throws me off of him. I land on the bed, about to prop myself up before he grabs my ankles and yanks me to the end of the bed. 

For a few moments, he just stares at me, guiding my legs open against the bed. His eyes ravaged me. An expression I’ve never quite seen before washes over him. His palms swallow my thighs. He pushes, pushes, pushes until they’re flat against the covers. Harvey goes to say something, but retracts it. 

“What, Harvey?”

He looks up at me like it’s the first time he’s seen me naked. And it is most certainly not the first time he’s seen me naked. 

“You’re just… fuck Yn you are so small compared to me.”

“I knew you had a thing for it,” I confirmed my hunch. 

“Seeing you tonight, without the heels on… it just did something to me. Something visceral. Something carnal. Knowing I can so easily do anything I want…”

Harvey knelt to the floor. The first brush of his tongue on my core made me sigh. He knows exactly what I like, what drives me crazy. And I have two orgasms coming my way tonight. No pun intended. 

I let my eyes close gently as he explores me. He reaches up and pinches a nipple between his fingers and it’s an effort to not writhe around. But his other palm is flat on my stomach, pinning me in place. I look down, seeing just how fucking big his hand is. Fucking hell–

“H-Harvey,” I gasp, feeling pressure build in my core, at the base of my spine. The tips of my fingers and toes begin to tingle. 

“Cum whenever you want, sweetheart.”

His permission is all I need. I let myself relax back, indulging in the freedom of his pleasure. I shiver when he sucks my clit hard, and I can see the grin on his face. Harvey spreads my legs far apart and keeps the exact pressure and motion of his tongue. I shake apart, endless praises falling from my lips. 

Harvey stops before it creeps into overstimulation and rises over me. I can smell myself on his lips when he kisses me, and the taste of my own release makes my brain fog with desire. 

I fist my hands in his hair, trailing kisses down his neck and chest. His physique drives me insane. Yes, he could absolutely do anything he wanted to me so easily. It fills me with the most delicious type of fear and desire. 

“Lay back down,” he commands. I comply without further instruction. I need to feel him. 

“Please, Harvey,” I beg. 

“Please what? Use your words, sweetheart. I can’t give you what you need if you don’t tell me. Or are you too fucked out? I still have to make you cum a second time, and you’re already begging for it? Pathetic, Yn. ”

A tremble rolls through me and I whimper. It’s the strain, the grit in his voice that makes it worse. “Need you to fuck me so good.”

“Yeah? You need me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours, baby?”

“Mhmm,” I nod, spreading my legs for emphasis. “Need it so bad. I’ve been so good for you tonight.”

“Yes you have. Wanna cum on my cock?”

“F-Fuck Harvey please,” I plead. 

I watch as he lines up with my pussy, and as he pushes in. He’s slow, draw it out so I feel every inch of him. Makes me as restless as possible. 

“Keep taking it, you can handle it. Stop whining, you slut. You love it. I know how much you crave me inside you. Just like that, sweetheart, just a little more.”

Harvey hooks his hands under my knees and pushes them flat against my sides, getting as deep as he can. He also pins my hands under them so I can’t move. With slow rolls of his hips into mine, I’m forced to take him all the way. I can feel him everywhere. It’s the most amazing type of overwhelming. The muscles in his abs and thighs ripple with every thrust and it drives me fucking insane. 

He laughs at me. Mocks me. 

“You are so cute like this. So adorable split open on my cock,” he coos, dragging his right hand all over my body. It cups my neck, then he plays with my chest. I lean into the touch, wondering how much more I can take before I shake apart. 

“Please make me cum, Harvey. Need it so bad,” I ask desperately. It’s a need I’ve never had before. “Fuck please please please.”

“You really wanna cum, don’t you, baby? You’ve been my good girl all night long. Doing exactly what I say. I think you deserve it.” The brush of his finger against my clit rips a scream from my throat. I was unprepared for just how much I was going to be able to feel it. It was so much. Borderline too much. Pleasure melted in and out of pain. But my body needed it. I wanted it so much. 

“Oh fuck,” I cried out, unable to sit still. I got a reprimanding smack to my thigh. 

“Hold still.”

My thighs went back to being flat, one of his arms pinning both of them. It was relentless. He was not going to stop until I came so hard the neighbors three floors below heard me scream his name. 

I was a mess when I came. My body bowed off the bed, physically unable to be stable. I wiggled around, fought against Harvey for even an inch of room to get away from his torture. 

“You’ll be done cumming when I say so. And I’m not fucking done with you.”

“Oh god Harvey please,” I begged. “F-Fuck fuck fuuuuck.”

I took a full breath only when he stopped rubbing my clit, just for a second while he pulled out and spat on my pussy. If I wasn’t numb from pleasure, I would’ve probably come a third time. He filled me up again, not being careful this time. 

I lay limp, content to let him use me in any way he wanted. He kept my legs up, fucking me hard. He didn’t care about whether or not I was feeling good. He knew he did his job. More than enough for me. Time to make him feel good. As best I could, I clenched around him. His palms splayed over my stomach, pressing firmly. 

His hips faltered. 

“God damn, Yn. I can fucking feel how big I am inside you. I bet you can feel it too. So fucking deep in there, and you’re being such a good girl. Taking it all and not complaining. My perfect little fuck toy, huh? Yeah you were made for me. Gonna fill you up so good.”

He flipped me over on my stomach, hiking up my hips so my ass sat in the cradle of his hips. He pinned my head down and fucked me harder than he ever has. His nails dug into my skin. I knew my ass was going to be bright red from the crack of his palm against my skin. 

“God you are so perfect, Yn. Such a good little slut. Gonna take it all? Not gonna spill a drop?” He yanked me up by my hair. I cried out a no, mind going a little stupid now. As if it wasn’t before. “Oh fuck–”

His hips stilled, and I could feel him throbbing inside me. He was buried all the way, and it felt too good. I tried to crawl away, but pulled me right back, fucking me on his cock. Nails raked down my back, and he chuckled when I shivered.

“Good girl, fucking such a good girl for me, Yn. You took me so well, sweetheart. You’re stretched so tight around me too, feel that?” The tip of Harvey’s finger trailed around my entrance and I hiccuped for a breath, a few stray tears spilling over. “Aww, you’re struggling so hard to keep it in. Come here.”

Harvey dragged me backwards so I sat in his lap. I let my head lull against his shoulder and went limp. 

“God I am still so hard…” Gently, Harvey fucked me on his cock. I moaned absently, too tired and spent to care. “You are so fucking amazing, Yn. My good girl. I’m the only who gets to fuck this pussy, you hear me? Your pussy is mine to fill. I’ll never get sick of watching you fall apart at my hands.”

“All yours,” I say, voice a little raw from screaming. 

“All mine.”

Vaguely I feel him slide me off his cock. I’m pretty sure he carried me to the bathroom because the next thing I know I’m in the tub with him gently cleaning me. His hands are soft, careful to avoid my most sensitive areas. It’s all gentle kisses and tender touches. Not only can he break me down, he always puts me back together. Brings me back to a safe, caring, loving reality. 

“Are you still awake, my love?” Harvey asks, running a brush through my wet hair. 

“Not for much longer if you keep massaging my head like that,” I smile, feeling all warm and fuzzy in his hands. 

“Do you need anything before we go to sleep?” Harvey asks. “It wasn’t too much for you, right?”

I shake my head, “No, of course not. Would’ve told you if it was. I liked it. A lot.”

“Good good.” I can feel his grin as he kisses both of my cheeks. “I’m glad you enjoyed it as much as I did.”

“If I had known sooner, I would’ve stopped wearing heels long ago,” I teased, finally opening up my eyes. 

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he smiled, that big goofy grin I fell in love with. “Ready for bed?”

“Mhm,” I humm. “I could use some water. And maybe a snack.”

“Blueberries and a chocolate chip cookie?”

“God you know me so well,” I swoon. I kiss my lips together, a silent demand for him to meet me halfway. Without hesitation, he does, then helps me into bed before going to the kitchen. When he returns, Harvey climbs into bed with me. I just look at him for a moment, really taking him in. 

“I love you, Harvey.”

His smile lights up his eyes. “I love you so much more, Yn.”

[nctnanajaemin]

my brother's bestfriend pairing: lee jeno x na!sister reader chapter six word count:1.2k warnings: cussing, fighting, mentions of blood.

you are currently eight weeks pregnant, and you and jeno are telling jaemin today because on a rare occasion, none of the other guys are over.

you knock on jaemin's door, "jaem. can i talk to you? it's serious. "

"uh- i guess, but jeno's here."

you walk into his room and see jaemin on his bed and jeno sitting in jaemin's gaming chair.

you walk over and sit down on the bed. "i have something important to tell you.. but please don't get mad. "

"i won't get mad as long as you haven't done something insanely stupid."

"promise me you won't be mad."

jaemin rolls his eyes. "okay, whatever. i promise."

you take a deep breath, bracing yourself for his reaction. "i'm pregnant."

jaemin immediately starts laughing.  "you expect me to actually believe that?"

you pull the pregnancy test and ultrasound out of your hoodie pocket, holding them out to him.

he stops laughing and stares at the test and ultrasound in your hands. "you're being serious?"

"yeah. i'm eight weeks."

jaemin looks from the test and ultrasound back up to you. "oh my god." he's silent for a moment before he speaks again. "who's the dad?"

"that's the thing.... it's jeno."

"please tell me i fucking heard her wrong and you did not get my little sister pregnant." jaemin says, looking over at jeno.

jeno nervously shakes his head. "no, you heard her right..." 

jaemin gets up and walks over to jeno. the second jeno stands up jaemin throws him against the wall. "i told you to stay the fuck away from her!"

"i know you did, but-"

"but what?!" jaemin yells in his face.

you get up and try to pull jaemin away from jeno but he doesn't budge. 

jeno waves you off. "it's fine. just let him get it out."

jaemin keeps jeno against the wall, his fist clenched but not making any moves to hurt him. "how long has it been going on?"

"four years."

"four years!? four fucking years, jeno!? how could you do this to me, to her? i fucking trusted you!" jaemin screams, punching jeno in the face.

"i'm sorry."

"you're sorry? you're sorry?! that doesn't fix the fact that she's fucking pregnant!" jaemin yells, punching him again.

"i know it doesn't!" jeno snaps. "but i'm still sorry!"

"you are dead to me." jaemin spits out. "dead. to. me."

jaemin throws one last punch before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

jeno slumps down against the wall, holding his nose. 

you quickly grab some tissues and kneel down in front of him.

"i'm sorry." you tell him, holding the tissues to his nose.

"it's not your fault. i deserved it."

"no you didn't." 

jeno winces as you dab at his nose. "i betrayed his trust."

"just because you betrayed his trust doesn't mean he had the right to put his hands on you."

jeno sighs. "i know. but i still don't blame him for punching me. if the roles were reversed i would have reacted the same way."

you carefully clean the blood from his face. "still. i don't like seeing you hurt. especially when you've been hurt because of me."

"i'll be fine. it's just a bloody nose." jeno says, placing a hand on your thigh. 

"and a black eye."

"it'll heal. this isn't the first black eye i've gotten, probably won't be the last."

you sigh, tossing the bloody tissues in the trash and taking jeno's face in your hands, gently tilting it from side to side to inspect his injuries. "you're just lucky he wasn't wearing his rings."

 "i know." jeno gently pulls your hands away from his face. "stop fretting over me, i'm not gonna break."

"i'm going to start telling you that when you worry about me."

"i have a reason to worry about you. you're pregnant."

"and? you're injured." you point out.

jeno rolls his eyes. "a few bruises and a bloody nose isn't the same thing as carrying a human being inside your body for nine months, princess."

"yeah, yeah. whatever. let's go get some ice on your eye." you tell him, standing up.

jeno stands up after you and follows you out of the room.

--------

it's been a few days since you told jaemin and he has yet to talk to either of you. 

you and jeno are currently sitting on the couch, watching TV, when mark, renjun, and chenle walk in.

mark looks at jeno's black eye and his eyes widen. "dude, what happened to your face?"

"jaemin."

"jaemin? what'd you do to piss him off?"

"more like who i did."

mark's eyes go to you. "oh." he says, slowly. "you didn't..."

"i did." jeno says.

mark looks at you, then back to jeno, then back to you again. "holy shit dude."

"how'd he find out?" renjun asks, sitting down on the other couch.

"we told him." 

renjun looks horrified. "you told him!? why on earth would you tell him!?"

"we didn't really have a choice."

"what do you mean, you didn't really have a choice?"

jeno looks over at you, silently asking if it's okay to tell the guys.

you nod, and jeno turns back to the rest of the guys. "she's pregnant."

"wait, wait, wait. hold on a second." mark says, holding up his hands. "you're pregnant? like... you have a baby growing inside of you, pregnant?"

you nod. "yeah, eight weeks."

"eight weeks? how did this even happen?"

"well, mark, when two people-"

mark's face turns bright red. "no- yeah, i get how it happened. i meant how did you guys even end up together?"

"technically we're not together, but we started hooking up at your twentieth birthday party."

"my twentieth birthday party? that's almost five years ago."

"and not one of us knew?"

"i mean two of us did." chenle says, making mark and renjun look at him.

"wait, you knew?" mark asks, looking dumbfounded.

"yeah. i've known since the start."

"why didn't you tell us?"

"i take my secret keeping serious."

"clearly." mark mutters, rolling his eyes before turning back to you. "who else knew?"

"jisung, but he only knew because his nosy ass read my diary."

they all laugh, and the sound of someone clearing their throat makes all of you look over.

jaemin is standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face.

 "can i talk to you?" he asks, looking directly at you.

you nod and stand up, following jaemin out of the room. he leads you outside and turns to face you as you shut the door. 

"i'm sorry for how i reacted. i was angry and felt betrayed. it was just a lot to process at once, and i obviously made some choices that i'm not exactly proud of. I just... I never expected this, like are you two serious?"

you shake your head no. "we aren't together, no, but jeno and I are committed to doing what's best for the baby and we're still figuring everything out."

"he was the one friend i really didn't think i had to worry about when it came to messing around with you. it's going to take some time for me to forgive him."

"i know, and i get it. i'm not asking you to forgive him right away and i don't blame you for being upset and needing time to process everything."

"i'm sorry." jaemin pulls you into a hug. "you're going to be a good mom, i know it."

chapter five | chapter six

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[stevesnightmares]

Actually, while I'm here, let me also briefly touch on the 33 officials and Mu Qing on the mountain and what my view on it is.

Mu Qing wasn't completely wrong. That doesn't mean he didn't hurt and help humiliate Xie Lian, that doesn't mean that he shouldn't ask for forgiveness or that he's innocent. Just because your actions aren't unjustified, it doesn't mean they also aren't hurtful.

After the first banishment, they were desperate, poor, couldn't get a decent job and the King was sick. The situation was so bad Xie Lian even tried to rob someone and then got so drunk his stupor lasted for two days. Mu Qing, as said before, had to also take care of his sick mother on top of everything else. Now he finally found himself in a very good position thanks to which he could make enough money in an honest way to help both himself, his mother, Xie Lian, Feng Xin, the King and the Queen. Should he have put everything at risk now that they finally had a chance at getting back on their feet?

“But I wanted to solve our current problems before considering anything else! Your parents and my mother, the three of us, who knows how long we would have had to struggle in this quagmire! But I thought that if I went back first, maybe we’d still have a chance—”

There was no winning for Mu Qing, had he sided with Xie Lian everyone would've also turned on him, not only putting his position in danger but also achieving nothing: the 33 officials would not have backed down, the only way to make sure the situation wouldn't get worse was for Xie Lian to leave.

“It wasn’t me!” Mu Qing exclaimed. “I didn’t hit His Highness—I only asked him to leave. Other than that, I didn’t say anything harsh, and I didn’t move against him! They were determined to take over that spiritual land, and it would’ve kept escalating if you didn’t leave!”

After the whole ordeal went down, Mu Qing immediately run after Xie Lian and offered his help because, while he knew why it had to be done, he also wanted to make sure Xie Lian was fine and probably felt guilty.

Suddenly, a hand was extended to him. Xie Lian blinked slowly at it, and his eyes followed the arm up. It was Mu Qing again. He was standing next to Xie Lian with his hand outstretched, looking a little ashen. A long moment later, he asked stiffly, “Are you all right?”

Nonetheless, he kept his hand outstretched. “Come on.”

After Xie Lian refused his help, Mu Qing still found where they were staying and offered his help even if he knew he could've gotten in trouble because his goal was to help both his mother and Xie Lian with the money he had making.

Seeing Xie Lian so quiet, Mu Qing said softly, “I heard you need medicine. I’ll think of a way to get some later.” “Sounds good,” Feng Xin said. “I’ll give my thanks, then. We do need all that stuff right now. Heavenly officials can’t give mortals private gifts, so you be careful too.” Then he shuffled over to Xie Lian’s side and whispered, “I’m pretty surprised that he actually came back to help. I’m the one who judged him wrong. In any case—”

Mu Qing knew what he did hurt Xie Lian and felt bad and guilty and not only apologised but even let Xie Lian take his anger out on him

Mu Qing bowed his head. “I’m sorry.” They’d known Mu Qing for so many years, but this was the first time they ever heard him say those words—it was also his first genuine apology.

“Yes! I was wrong, I admit it, and I apologize!”

[Xie Lian] lost his temper and started throwing the sacks at Mu Qing. White rice spilled across the ground and made a mess of Mu Qing. Nonetheless, the black-clad man only raised an arm to block and held back from making any further move.

Would the moral and right thing have been to stand by Xie Lian side even if it meant making everything harder? Yes. That would've been the most upstanding thing to do, what Hua Cheng would've done had he found himself in such a situation. But that's not how Mu Qing's brain works, how he thinks, and in his own way he was just trying to make the best of a fucked up situation. He found a way to help Xie Lian and his mother and thought that that was the thing he had to hold onto so that they could all get back on their feet. He knew Xie Lian had resorted to trying to rob someone and now he had a way to make sure that something like that wouldn't have to happen again. How could he let that slip through his fingers?

Again, this is about how part of the fandom treats Mu Qing and not Xie Lian, who at the time was mentally unwell and couldn't think straight because of all of his trauma, pain and fear and who was just humiliated and felt betrayed and abandoned by one of his closests friends.

I think when it comes to Mu Qing and how the fandom treats him this is what summarises it best:

"So why can’t you accept hardship as an excuse when it comes to me?”

For everyone else everyone makes excuses and easly understands why the character did what they did, but Mu Qing desperate actions taken during a period of hardship and pain are always villainised and contorted into something ugly and mean.

His actions had hurtful consequences but he had good intentions and immediately went to apologise and make up for it. I understand why Xie Lian at the time and his state wouldn't want to forgive him and told him to leave, but I don't understand why the fandom acts as if Mu Qing is a terrible and unforgivable person who enjoyed hurting and humiliating Xie Lian and only used used him before abandoning him.

[herejusttosufferalong]

I think I’m one of the few people willing to give A a lot of grace. I’m 23 myself too and God knows sometimes I really do stupid shit.

I think we should side eye L a LOT more. Not claiming your girlfriend and doing this hot and cold shit makes you look soooo shady. I think we all collectively would be way chiller if he just confirmed his relationship and claimed her as his official girlfriend, instead he treats her like his young and hot side piece. I would freak out on my partner if I got treated like that.

Also, I don’t know what the hell a 23 year old and a 31 year old would have in common, but thats just my opinion. Very icky!

I'm going to be real transparent here and I'm probably going to regret it.

When I was 21-24 yo I dated 3 different men, ages 32-38. They were all successful business men who paid for everything. They also made it clear what we were, casual.

That of course was fine by me as I wasn't looking to be tied to any of these men. They all had at least one kid by the way and I wasn't about to play stepmom.

There was always a massive power dynamic at play of course but I knew what I was getting into. I had a plan. All three connections were financially beneficial to me and helped me to achieve what I have today.

All three relationships ended on decent terms, one was even an initial investor in my first business several years after we parted ways.

I may have been young and naive and there may be unresolved trauma that will rear its head later on down the road but I do not regret the choice. I saw the opportunity for what it was, fleeting connections with financial benefits. Nothing more, nothing less.

Now that is my personal story. At that time in my life I was fairly mentally and emotionally stable. I knew what I was getting into and accepted it for what it was.

I have noticed a lot of people, myself included, say that A is in it for the fame, notoriety, connections, etc. I definitely believe this to be true. However, I don't believe that is all she wants out of the relationship. She clearly is seeking more, she wants to be claimed.

This is not just a transactional (business) relationship for her and that is where I have issues.

I'm 33 now and have been married for 7 years. I have grown so much and that is due in part to my wonderful husband, 34. I could not imagine looking at a 23 yo and thinking we could be anything more than casual. Interests, life/generational experiences, short/long terms goals etc. would not align or overlap.

So, I am trying to figure what a 31 yo man is doing with a 23 yo. He has a career and has navigated several long term relationships, one where they admittedly talked about marriage and kids often. Yet here he is running around with an (unemployed?) dancer fresh out of school who seems to have no real friends outside of his. She seems to lack personal identity, autonomy, and self respect.

Either he intended on this just being a casual, rebound type of situationship or he has always had a real interest in pursuing a relationship with her. The latter is hard to reconcile and throws up many red flags.

I'm also not saying a casual fling was a good idea either.

My personal experience can not translate over to everyone. We all experience things differently. What worked for me may destroy you and vice versa.

I know we pick A apart often and I probably won't stop, but just remember we can only speculate on her intentions and notions of the relationship between her and L.

[yuwigqi]

Giving Tim Drake random food quirks I myself have (since we know he has horrible tastes)

No pasta. No pasta in no ways. Pasta itself is gross, regardless of how you cook it. The noodles are just bad tasting, it's not more complicated than that.

Celery is best when dipped in soft drinks. Dark soft drinks like Coke, Root Beer, or Dr. Pepper, though "yellow" ones like Mellow Yellow and Ginger Ale work too. Dick likes this as well.

Salads are better deconstructed. It is better to just several leaves of lettuce, some cherry tomatoes, some radicchio leaves, and some broccoli than to mixed it in a bowl. (this is consistent with him like cukewiches)

Sushi is good (an objective fact), but the best sushi by far is Unagi (eel) and Tako (octopus). But of the common sushi you can buy at like Kroger or Speedway, escolar (its called white tuna but that is very inaccurate) is the best. One time Tim eats way too much escolar nigiri, and Bruce walks in and grimly tells him that escolar is banned in Japan because it causes dysentery when eaten in more than 6oz at a time. Tim misses patrol.

Rare meat does taste good, but it makes him sick to his stomach 20 minutes later. It is the way to be throwing up over and over until the acid causes slight bleeding in your throat. Bruce breaks down the bathroom door and sees blood on the toilet seat and goes into a panic. That's a very embarassing ER visit

I absolutely hate cheese 9 out of 10 times, but I'm not mean enough to curse Tim like this. But we will say that like me, Tim prefers Fontina to a ridiculous degree to other cheeses. When Tim uses Fontina on his Tacos Jason's heart murmurs

Speaking of Tacos, I hate tortillas of any kind, soft, hard, hate 'em hate 'em hate 'em. Again, I won't curse Tim with this blood malediction, but I will make it so Tim exclusively eats Whole Grain tortillas. Steph steals a bite of his burrito and immediately feels disappointed.

Like me, Tim loves loves quinoa. Like me, Tim did not know any ethical controversies with quinoa for years. However, Tim learned when he was like...17, so his teenage egoism and privilege guilt makes him immediately feel rotten. But luckily Tim is very rich so he invests in Gotham starting its own quinoa farms, and WE oversees so they the most ethical farms on the East coast

Tim is allergic to hibiscus. If this was the 80s like when Tim was introduced, he would probably not know this until he was in his 40s, because hibiscus was not in anything in America until like 2015.

Tim absolutely thinks Mixed Peppercorns are superior to Black Pepper and literally never buys Black pepper again. Kroger's Private Selection brand has made a whale of him (affectionate and derogatory)

Cherry Coke is Tim's lifeblood outside of Coffee. If you offered Tim a prime rib or a Cherry Coke he would take the Cherry Coke every time, it is one of his favorite flavors ever

And in contrast, Tonic Water is Tim's most hated thing of all time. It doesn't make him gag or anything, but the flavor is his least favorite flavor.

Tim likes grapefruits a lot. But grapefruit screws with the medicine he needs, so he can't have it. He stares longingly at the ruby reds in the Kroger produce section. When will they return from the war.

Tim prefers soda in glass bottles, both for ethical reasons (glass doesn't downcycle and isn't toxic like microplastics are) and because he thinks it tastes better. Tim, a man of science, will die on this conspiracy.

All coffee is good. Starbucks $8 pistachio frappes with coconut milk and olive oil? Awesome! Black quintuple shot espressos? Awesome! Dollar General "French Roast"? Awesome! $40 a cup imported Colombian coffee? Awesome! Mushroom coffee? Awesome! Kroger instant coffee? Objectively awful, but with enough powdered creamer and Splenda, it can be fine too!

Tim exclusively uses the spellings "Catsup" and "Doughnuts." That's how he was raised to spell them, he spelled them that his entire childhood, and he's not interested in making any attempt to stop (my dad learned it from living in Germany and supposedly Germans who learned English in school used those spellings, and I could see Jack Drake having that same experience (no I have no idea if that's actually factually true my dad's had dementia my entire life))

Tim has a decent spice tolerance, habanero is about his max, but not a whole lot of food made for regular consumption goes beyond that, so its not a big deal. But, Tim doesn't actually like the flavor of most hot peppers. (I personally think jalapenos are kinda gross), so a lot of people think he can't handle hot food when its just that he doesn't like a lot of the mainstream hot stuff

Chili is in the top 5 of the grossest smells Tim has ever smelled and he is not exaggerating. Rotting carrion and skunk are less offensive than the smell of a pot of chili. He doesn't know if he likes the flavor or not because the smell makes him too sick to even notice a taste.

There are almost zero fresh fruit or vegetables that Tim does not like. Like, a very small number, like both categories fit on one hand.

Tim's favorite apples are the yellow ones and he will not take criticism.

Marshmallow artificial flavor is absolutely amazing, but its pretty rare for Tim to ever actually just eat marshmallows. Marshmallow flavored candy, coffee, sodas, creams, those are good.

Tim loves cotton candy flavored things too, like Cotton candy flavored cupcakes or gum or something. But his favorite is Cotton Candy Faygo. But Faygo is pretty rare in Gotham, so instead he just putts cotton candy into his Sprite or Sierra Mist

Speaking of Sierra Mist, Tim thinks it is vastly superior to Starry

Tim loves white brats. They are the best meat on BBQs, superior to steaks, ribs, hot dogs, fish, poultry, veggies, burgers, none of it can compare

Tim does like bitter foods. Cass sees him eating chocolates and doesn't realize its 82% dark and grabs one then immediately shrivels into a lump

Upon learning all of this Duke constantly makes fun of Tim for having the whitest taste buds, but finds Tim likes quite a bit of classic Black Americana soul food, and Duke feels some respect. Then he sees Tim snacking on kale chips and it immediately fades (btw remember Tim is Blasian in all of my posts from now until I die)

Tim loves Worcestershire sauce. Supernaturally. Bruce sees 13-year-old Tim take a shot of a dark liquid and is immediately furious, and Tim has him take the other one and its straight Worcestershire. Bruce gags so hard he hurts his ribs as bad as a punch from King Shark.

Tim likes sprinkles. Alfred fucking hates this. Tim puts sprinkles on his pancakes, one his lattes, on every pastry and ice cream ever. But then Alfred sees Tim make fairy toast and he's reminded of his mom, and making it himself for his daughter, and lets it slide.

Duke sees Tim scowl and pudding, and ignores it. Duke sees Tim eat a plain hotdog, shivering at any idea of mustard, catsup, or mayonnaise. Duke sees Tim cringe when he puts ranch on his salad. When probed, Tim replies "I don't like anything with that boogery texture" and Duke is immediately too grossed out to finish his salad

Tim had an entomophagy phase, for sure. "It's so good for the environment guys, if humans started eating ants we'd never run out of food, world hunger would be solved in weeks." They're watching a movie and Tim pulls out a small plastic bag, pulls out a centipede and eats it casually. Dick lunges for a trashcan and Damian flinches like he'd been slapped.

Tim prefers 1% milk to whole, skim, or 2%. He also really enjoys acidophilus milk. While Jon's over playing with Damian, Jon asks what that means and Tim says "oh they put more bacteria in it," and Jon starts X-Raying Tim to see if he has like legions on his lungs or something, and when he sees Tim doesn't have a spleen he cries and tells Clark the milk is eating Tim inside out

[teojira]

[Peel this orange for me?]

Summary: the trend on TikTok where you asked your partner if they'd peel an orange for you!

Warnings: Implied romance between reader and the apes.

A/N: I have a specific folder on my tiktok where I keep videos that remind me of my favs, looking back at this specific orange one, it reminds me of Noa so his is based on that!

Caesar does it without even thinking, immediately going in to grab the fruit from your hand and peeling it's skin.

You're both sat at the communal fire, apes all around as everyone settles in for the nights dinner.

In your little circle, it's you and Caesar at the moment, Cornelius running off a little bit ago to go find Nova to play with.

You're leaning against your partner, face resting on his shoulder as you watch him fast and efficiently tear open the orange.

Blinking once, Caesar gently nudges your hand, grunting at you to take your food back, the peel already being thrown into the fire, making the smell float in the air.

"Thank you." You kiss his shoulder, eagerly tearing a piece of the fruit and throwing it in your mouth.

"Welcome."

He doesn't hesitate when you offer him a slice of his own, opening up his jaw so you can hand feed him.

Noa's on his way out of the nest when you softly ask him to peel the fruit for you, but immediately turns back in when he hears you call for him.

"I can't get it." You mumble, shrugging a shoulder, biting back a smile.

Noa knows what you're doing. He knows you're just asking him to stay a little longer because you'll miss him until he has a break in his duties.

He really really should be going. The eagles need to be tended to, but you're his mate. Surely they'll be fine if he's a few minutes late.

"Echo..." He shakes his head with a deep sigh, amusement flooding in his eyes as he takes the orange you've offered him.

"Spoiled." Noa drawls, fingers making quick work of the peel, in no time revealing the juicy fruit underneath.

"No, I'm not." You stick your tongue out at him, leaning against his leg, soaking in as much of his warmth as you can until you know he officially needs to get going.

"Rotten. Spoiled rotten." He sniffs, crouching down to your level to dangle the fresh fruit in front of your eyes.

Noa's waiting for something, and he's not leaving until he gets it.

He brings his other hand up to use his pointer finger to tap at his cheek, and you can't help but giggle.

A kiss for his troubles, typical.

You lean in and give him a peck, audibly making a 'mwah!' sound effect for good measure.

He has half a mind to take it and chuck it into the forest.

"Human...dumb?" Koba sneers, already moving past you, until you have the audacity to roll your eyes at him, at HIM. He has better things to do than to peel an orange for you, knowing damn well you're more than capable, the bonobo's seen you gut a fish with ease.

You're not a child. Do it yourself.

"Fine, I'll go ask Caesar." You're moving to stand up, the orange tightly held in one fist as you get ready to go look for the Ape king.

Next thing you know, the orange is snatched from your grasp, Koba turning around and using his fingers to break the orange open with heavy breathing.

"Koba-" You attempt to get his attention, but he whirls back around, grabbing your much smaller hand and forcing the mangled orange into your palm, the juices spilling everywhere.

"Eat."

Leave it to Koba to get jealous.

[aishangotome]

Elbert Greetia: Chapter 3

Chapter 2

♡———♡

"The girl who was involved in the incident at the inn has regained consciousness" --

Such good news came in a few days after I went shopping with Elbert and the others.

Kate: It's really, really wonderful...!

Elbert: ...Yes, it is.

We wait in front of the patient's room for the preparations for our meeting with her to be completed.

Today, we are officially "police."

Our goal is to get information about "Bernal Trading Company" from her, the survivor of the inn attack.

(I have to keep my distance so she won't be suspicious of me.)

(But, I'm so happy... it's hard to switch gears.)

As I was struggling to control my emotions, a sudden gust of wind blew through the gap and ruffled my hair.

Elbert: ..............

The small wind also gently ruffles Elbert's golden hair.

His beauty, which was as captivating as ever, seems to be tinged with a deeper sadness than usual.

(Come to think of it, he was talking to the doctor for a little longer than usual earlier...)

(I wonder if he was told something then.)

Elbert: Do you... remember what kind of girl she was?

Kate: I think she was a redhead... with a few freckles, and still a young girl.

Elbert: ...It was nighttime, but you saw her well.

Kate: ...It was an intense scene. Besides...

Kate: ...I regret not being able to save her from that place, and it's burned into my memory.

Elbert: I see...

Elbert: I wonder why sad things are so hard to forget.

For a few seconds, a gentle silence descends, as if sharing the pain in our chests.

Kate: ...That's why I'm so happy today. To know that she's safe.

Elbert: ...........

Elbert: ...........Kate.

Kate: Yes...?

Elbert: You, in the patient's room--

Just as Elbert was about to say something, the door to the patient's room opened.

Nurse: Thank you for waiting. We are ready for your visit.

Kate: Oh, yes! Let's go, Lord Elbert.

Elbert: ......

Elbert: ...Ah.

-

Perhaps out of consideration for us being "police," the nurse showed us to the patient's room and quietly excused herself.

Girl: ...You guys are the police?

Elbert: Yes, we are. ...I'm sorry to come so suddenly.

Girl: Hmm, it's fine.

Lying in the bed was a girl who looked to be in her early teens, with a somewhat feisty air about her.

Daisy, as she called herself, calmly responded to our questioning, as if she had never been hovering between life and death.

Daisy: I knew the owner was dealing with some shady people. He was in debt and started brokering stolen goods.

Daisy: But the owner liked this "painting of the sea" that some famous painter from Russia or somewhere painted.

Daisy: He tried to make it his own, but the shady guys who caught on came to crush him, that's what happened that night.

The owner's body has not been found, apparently.

They seemed to have failed to get the painting out, but... Daisy told us that he probably went into hiding somewhere.

Elbert: May I ask why you were also hurt?

Daisy: I guess we were supposed to be silenced or something. ...Even though there were kids there who didn't know about the painting.

Elbert: ...I see.

My heart aches for Daisy, who answers us logically even though we are making her talk about painful things.

Kate: Thank you for talking to us.

Daisy: It's fine, you don't have to thank me. Is that all? Goodbye.

Daisy lies down on the bed, as if to force an end to the conversation.

--And, with a creak of the springs, something that was by her pillow fluttered down to my feet.

(Oh...!)

Elbert: ...This, handkerchief...?

Elbert picks up the familiar-looking handkerchief.

Daisy: Oh, that. They said it might be mine.

Daisy: It's not, but I couldn't throw it away for some reason. It's kind of like a good luck charm, in a weird way?

Daisy: It seems like they noticed me because this was next to me.

Kate: ...! Is that so...?

(Thank goodness... I'm so glad.)

I want to hug Daisy right now and tell her how happy I am that she's alive.

But I can't, so I just give her a gentle smile.

(It might be a burden on her body... Maybe we should take our leave soon.)

I glance at Elbert next to me--

(...?)

Elbert: .........

His porcelain-like profile looked as if he was crying, for some reason.

Come to think of it, Elbert had been drifting in a melancholy mood like this outside the patient's room as well.

(He was about to say something before we entered the patient's room earlier, too...)

I have a strange feeling of uneasiness.

Elbert: ...How are you feeling?

Daisy: Huh...?

Elbert's voice was cautious and gentle, as if touching a scar.

Daisy: Oh... Oh, haha. What, did you ask the doctor or something?

Daisy: Something about an infection? They said I could die at any moment.

Kate: Huh...!

I can't help but let out a gasp at Daisy's confession.

Daisy: But I don't have any family, and all my colleagues are dead... There's no one to visit me in sorrow.

Kate: ...!

I almost said, "I'll come visit you," but I hurriedly shut my mouth.

(I'm under surveillance. I can't just do as I please.)

(I never knew it would be so frustrating.)

It was as painful as witnessing a horrific scene.

Elbert: ...........

Elbert: ..."You were in poor health and unable to answer our questions properly," so...

Daisy: Huh...?

Elbert: ...Would you mind talking to us again tomorrow?

Kate: ...!

I can't help but look up at Elbert at the unexpected proposal.

(We've heard what we need to hear. I don't think Daisy knows anything more about Bernal Trading Company.)

(Elbert must know that too... and yet...)

Elbert: ...Is that okay?

Daisy: Y-yes, of course...!

Daisy gave us a bright smile for the first time today.

-

Kate: Lord Elbert, is it okay...?

Elbert: ...Hmm, what is...?

Kate: Well, considering Lord Elbert's position... is it okay?

Victor told us that the questioning was only scheduled for today.

If we stay too long, there is a risk that our true identities will be exposed.

(And yet...)

Kate: Why did you say we would go again tomorrow...?

Elbert: ......

Elbert: ...Because being alone when you're sad... is not good.

Kate: ...Lord Elbert...

(I've been thinking this since that night when we couldn't save Daisy.)

(Elbert... is very sensitive to people's sadness and pain.)

And he doesn't soothe them or deny them, he just gently stays by their side.

My heart warmed at the feeling of having touched Elbert's warm side.

Kate: ...Thank you.

Elbert: There is nothing for you to thank me for.

Kate: I feel the same way as Lord Elbert.

Kate: I didn't want to leave Daisy alone.

Elbert: ...I could tell you felt that way in the patient's room as well.

Elbert: You... don't seem to be very good at acting.

A fleeting smile, like a thin cloud, appeared on Elbert's lips.

The depths of my warmed heart ached faintly sweetly.

-

The next day, and the day after that, we lied to Victor and went to visit Daisy.

Daisy: I'm so lucky to have such a pretty boy like you visiting me every day.

Daisy: Well, with a bonus, though.

Elbert: ...A "bonus"?

Kate: I brought some delicious sweets today, but maybe you don't want them from the "bonus"...

Daisy: Whoa, just kidding!

Kate: Hehe, I'm just kidding.

Daisy: Oh, Kate!

We spend time in Daisy's hospital room, exchanging lighthearted banter as usual.

The questioning was only done once, on the first day we met, and from the next day on, we ended up just chatting.

(We're getting off track from the mission, but... as long as it's allowed, I want to fill Daisy's loneliness even a little.)

Daisy: Hey, these biscuits are so good!

Elbert: ...Good. She chose them.

Daisy: Hehe... Thanks, really.

However, Daisy's complexion worsened in inverse proportion to how friendly we became.

Every time I noticed it, my wish for her to live another day grew stronger.

(I want her to smile more. I don't want her to look sad...)

(I'm so frustrated that all I can do is visit her...)

Daisy: ...This might be the first time I've ever had someone care so much about me.

Daisy: Hey, you two, can you listen to my selfish request while you're at it?

Kate: Wh-what? Anything!

Daisy: Next time you visit, bring me a blue poppy. I love them.

(Next time...)

Kate: Yeah, okay. I'll definitely bring you one!

Happy that she has something to look forward to, I nod strongly.

(Poppies are a common flower, I should be able to find one at a florist.)

Daisy: Hehe, "definitely"...

Elbert: .........

-

The evening corridor, usually tinged with the loneliness of not knowing if we'll see each other again tomorrow, seems calmer than usual.

Kate: Lord Elbert, if possible, I'd like to stop by a flower shop somewhere... Is that okay?

Elbert: That's fine, but...

Elbert stops, looking somewhat solemn.

Kate: Is something wrong?

Elbert: Blue poppies... I believe they're a rare variety that blooms in the Himalayas.

Kate: Huh?

(The Himalayas...!? )

-

Alfons: My, my... What a rash promise you've made.

Alfons, who returned to the castle in the early morning and apparently just woke up, leans his cheek on his hand languidly, listening to our story with an amused smile.

Kate: Lord Elbert told me that since you spend all night out in the town in London, Alfons,

Kate: You might know of a shop that sells rare flowers...

Alfons: You shouldn't speak of people as if they're playboys, Elbert.

Elbert: ...? Was I wrong?

Alfons: You were absolutely right. However, even this playboy, who fills his days with the thrill of gossip...

Alfons: ...has never heard of a shop that sells flowers from the Himalayas.

Kate: I see...

(Should I just have her settle for a different color poppy?... But)

(I want to do everything I can so Daisy can keep hoping for tomorrow.)

(Is there another good idea... )

Elbert: Al, can we borrow your ability?

Kate: ...Alfons' ability?

Elbert: If Al touches the nape of your neck and whispers, he can distort the other person's perception for a short time.

(Distort perception...)

Kate: ...So, you mean he could make a different colored poppy look blue?

Alfons: Yes, blue or shocking pink. Think of it like a convenient hallucinogen.

(That would certainly fulfill Daisy's wish.)

(But... I wish I could find her a real one.)

Alfons: While it is tempting to deceive an innocent girl with my abilities and create a temporary salvation...

Alfons: Might there be a blue poppy in Elbert's room?

Kate: Huh?

Alfons: I seem to recall seeing a framed pressed flower before. If my memory serves me correctly.

Alfons: Why don't you search that junk room tomorrow?

(Elbert's room...?)

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 4

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[zarvasace]

I've been going through your ao3 bc I've n been having a hankering for Four/ colors content

Hyrule's fic where he has the loftwing tattoo is ouch in the good ways. Boy had it ROUGH and if I found out that happened to my bestie I would also puke so I get you, Sky.

And the one where Red and Vio grow up in a cult and Red is the perfect little cult angel so they'll be allowed to LEAVE and they haven't seen the sun for 16 years like my heart. Those poor boys. They just want to see their brothers and Red was too young to even remember them ;-;

I picture that Red and Vio found a nice house with a big garden and they spend all day relaxing in the sun and hanging out and nothing else happens to them and they're happy and also Red helps Zelda and the knights find and put a stop to the cult cause Red has alllll the information about them now.

Well I certainly have my fair share of Four and FS boys content. XD I've actually been meaning to add on a bit to the cult one, so here's a fun little epilogue! ~1k words, some CWs for implied religious trauma, some cursing, and moderate angst.

(said cult-themed fic is here! It's a whump fill and imo one of the more intense ones so.)

---

Green wipes his hands off on a towel and heads to the doorway to poke his head into the living room. “Hey, Vio.”

“Sorry!” Vio says, startling. The book in his hands jumps as he shuts it too fast. He looks up at Green, then blinks and settles. “Sorry,” he says again, this time apologizing for apologizing. 

Green takes a second to bite his tongue—he harbors an eternal, ice-cold hatred for the people who'd somehow managed to get it into Vio’s head that reading was something to apologize for—then shrugs in what he hopes is a nonchalant way. “I just wanted to ask if you had a preference between tomato sauce or cheese sauce for dinner. Blue and Red should be back soon.”

Vio slowly reopens his book to the page he'd been reading. “Um, I think Red likes cheese better.”

“Okay, well, what about you?” 

“I don't really have a preference.”

“Cheese, then,” Green says, just as the door to their little house swings open. 

Green’s little question had startled Vio, but Red's loud, enthusiastic greeting very much does not. 

“Viooooo! Guess what I have!” Red bounces in, wearing something a lot like what he'd worn that first day. It's red and yellow and reminds Green of festival robes. The thin fabric accentuates the way he dances in and presents a set of ominous-looking black iron keys to Vio in both hands. 

Those keys mean absolutely nothing to Green, but Vio raises his eyebrows. “You really did it, then.”

“Did you doubt me?” Red smiles. 

“Can we melt those down?” 

“Oh, I definitely plan on it.” 

Blue follows Red into the house, closing the door behind them both. He wears Vio’s old grayed cloak with the heavy leather mantle, though now there’s a splatter of blood across the side. Where Red is clearly very pleased with what they've done, Green can see Blue’s anger simmering beneath the surface. 

In a flailing of angry movement, Blue rips off the hood and tears the mantle off his shoulders. He bundles it all up and dropkicks the thing into the wall with a shout. 

“Woah, Blue,” Green says, stepping in but not touching him yet. “You okay?” 

“I'm fine!” Blue snaps. He throws his hands into the air. “I’m just dandy! I'm totally not traumatized at all! And I bet you aren't either!” He gestures to Red and Vio, who watch him warily. “We're all really well-adjusted members of society! Nobody treated me like shit while they thought I was you! Nobody at all!”

Green drops his towel and grabs Blue’s arms to stop him from throwing a punch at the wall. He's done it before. “Calm down!”

“Why should I?” Blue keeps shouting, but Green can see the shine in his eyes. “They kept saying, oh, they're good people, just misled, just take care of some of the leaders and everyone will be fine, but you know who gave a damn about me? About Vio? When we staged that—that—”

“Blue!” Green shakes him, hoping to snap him out of it, but all he does is shake the tears out. 

Blue is more prone to punching out his feelings than crying about them. The tears that fall down his face are out of the ordinary for him. He looks at Green like he did every time he became despondent: like he hopes desperately that Green can fix the world. His rage is quickly giving way to full-out sobbing, and it's a bit startling. This hasn't happened in years. 

Green has gotten good at dealing with Blue’s moods, but Vio and Red very much have not. Red has moved to stand half in front of Vio, as if to protect him, and Vio’s eyes have gone calculating. Then Red leans back to whisper something, never taking his eyes off of Blue and Green, and Vio responds, too quietly to hear. 

Blue starts to push away from Green, red in the face, but Vio is right there, hands raised as if he doesn't know what to do with them. 

“Um,” Vio says, “I'm sorry.”

“No, I'm sorry!” Blue interrupts, his voice breaking. “I didn't mean to—to get mad—and we didn't find you—and I had no idea—” 

Red taps Vio on the shoulder and whispers loudly. “Ask if he wants a hug.”

A short, wet laugh interrupts Blue’s tears, and he shakes his head as if to say it isn't necessary. 

Vio’s face goes tight in a wince, and Green starts to move to interrupt, but then Vio raises his arms and wraps them around Blue, and Blue’s sobs go quiet almost instantly. After a few seconds, they readjust so Blue can hold Vio back. Vio definitely isn't crying, but he does hide his face behind his bangs and Blue’s neck. 

Red looks like he's about to cry, too, so Green nudges him. 

“Want to help me make some sauce for pasta?” 

“Really?” Red says, looking up. “Yeah. I do.”

“Come on.” 

Red drops the keys he holds on top of Vio’s discarded cloak, then follows Green into the kitchen. He's a little subdued, but still enthusiastic. By the time Red burns his half of the sauce (surprising no one), Blue and Vio have shifted to speaking quietly on the old couch. 

It's going to be a long road of healing, even considering how far the four of them have come so far. But now they know that the cult isn't going to come after Red and Vio, or kidnap anyone else, for that matter, since they got the princess and knights involved. But Vio has begun to keep his books in plain sight, and Red curses a little more every day. Red goes outside into the sun most days, and drags Vio with him every so often. They moved to a nice little house, and visit their father at least once a week. Blue has been happy, and so has Green. 

It's a long road, yes, and doubtlessly it's an uphill one. But they're on it together. 

[gothic-thoughts]

King Of Almost Everything

Ryomen Sukuna x Black Fem Reader Fluff

Drabble, Curse user!Reader, Jujitsu Uni

CW: Feat. aged up Yuuji, jealous Sukuna, tormenting Yuuji (as usual🙄)

The brat finally wakes up in my pool of blood, choking out the small amount that made it into his lungs.

"You are unbearably infuriating, you know that?"

"The hell are you talking about?!" Itadori yelled, standing up, "What did I even do?!"

"Watch your tone with me, brat. I can and will take your heart again."

"I'll just be stuck in your domain longer if you do."

"Hm." Kid's got a point.

"Now what do you want?"

"I've grown tired of watching you tirelessly follow that female friend of yours. Your attachment to her is so obvious it annoys me."

"That's what this is about? You brought me here to tell me to stop talking to my friend?"

"Talking?" I chuckled darkly, my domain rumbling at the sound, "Itadori, you gawk at that woman. Vying for her attention like some sort of lost infant wanting milk. You're pathetic and it makes me look pathetic."

"So what if I like her a little bit!? You want me to stop?"

"Precisely."

"Too bad."

Between his blinks, I was now off my throne and in front of him, grabbing him by the neck and effortlessly lifting him off the ground, fully extending my arm.

"Fine, let's do this the hard way." I say as I look up at him, "You're going to stop staring at (Y/n) or I will make you suffer for the rest of your agonizingly pitiful life. Now do we have an understanding?"

He choked out, "Why... do you even care so much?"

"I... I don't. That's why I'm threatening to kill you if you do not--"

"W-wait." He struggled, "H-how do you know (Y/n)'s name?"

"What?"

"You s-said '(Y/n)'. How did you know her name?"

"I know all of your friends names, you spend so much fucking time around them how could I not?"

"No, you don't. You said you hate us all so much that learning names isn't worth your time yet you..."

He paused before he squinted at me, a little smirk drawing across his face despite me choking him.

"What? The hell is the matter with you? What are you smiling for? I am not in the mood for your senseless babbling unless it includes--"

"Do you like (Y/n) too, Sukuna?"

I scoff before throwing him across my domain, watching him slam into the mound of bones and skeletons, falling with pained grunts and groans before I zoom to the area to kick him in his stomach, flipping him onto his back so I can pin him to the ground with my foot.

"Does that answer your question?"

He coughs up blood, "N-no... No, just makes you seem more shy."

"Shy?"

"If you're not then prove it."

I kick him in the chin, enjoying his cry of pain before planting my foot back on his chest, "I have no need to prove anything to a bothersome child like you."

"I'm 23--"

"But the reason for my secrecy is because there's no point in expressing any feeling for a human because of your pitiful lifespans. That is, if she does reciprocate my feelings."

"She probably won't like you back cuz you're a literal demonic pain in my ass but... you never know. I could ask her out for you."

"Do not interfere with my emotions, brat. Either I will tell her myself or I will not. It is not your place, and if you make it so that it is, I will kill you only to revive you once I'm sure they've buried you already."

"Alright, alright! But still, you should at least let her know."

"So she can scream and flee from you? From me? That is most likely the most pointless thing you've ever said. Besides, I'm wearing your face. She'll see me as she sees you; a pathetic shell of--"

"Oi, I get it!"

I roll my eyes and snap, making him instantly disappear from under my foot.

"Hey Itadori!" (Y/n)'s smooth, soft, and worried voice from the outside, "You aight, you was just staring out into the distance before you collapsed."

[mangostarjam]

welcome home — jjk, gojo satoru x female reader, suggestive, established fake relationship, "baby" as a pet name, 1.4k words

The door clicks open and you shuffle inside. You toe off your shoes, set your bag on the small table Satoru got the other day for the genkan, and shut the door behind you. 

It's quiet. 

Disappointment creeps through you as you slump further into the apartment. Normally the quiet would be welcome — cherished, even, after the endless loud bustle of the day — but your ears strain for any hint of Satoru moving about, humming some annoying song under his breath or maybe watching another terrible movie. 

The apartment is empty, save for you. Your sigh is loud and gusty as you flop onto the couch, legs dangling halfway off the side as you fling your arms up to cover your face. Maybe a nap would help. Your phone hasn't lit up with any notifications in the past hour so Satoru probably is busy doing his actual job, supervising his students or giving them a lesson or something. 

He's probably excited about it — wearing that wide, stupid grin that crooks up just a bit on one side, large hands carving nonsense through the air as he chatters away. You frown at the ceiling and shift a little on the couch. Satoru's always so annoyingly hot, and you know your imagination isn't doing him any justice, but picturing the proud set of his shoulders as his students answer things correctly is making your heart squeeze in your chest. 

This is stupid. You swing yourself upright and make your way to your room to grab a change of clothes and hop in the shower. It's stupid, stupid, stupid — you've had long days before, plenty of them in your twenty plus years, and you know how to take care of yourself. You don't need Satoru's stupid long arms and aggravatingly firm chest to crush you like a stress ball. 

The shower steam follows you out of the bathroom as you hum to yourself, feeling marginally better and a little hungry. Next step: dinner. 

You wonder if Satoru will be home for dinner. He'll usually tell you in advance if he's going out of town for any reason, but it's always possible that some disaster has struck and he's been summoned away before he got a chance to let you know. 

You pause as you scoop a cup full of rice grains into the pot. That would… suck. And maybe it's selfish of you, but surely he could teleport home real quick just to tell you and get his good luck kisses? 

Not that he needs them, even if he always insists on them now that the two of you have been kissing more regularly. You tell yourself that it's good — it's good to practice the kissing, and the touching, so he doesn't freeze up again if you initiate very light PDA in front of your friends. 

This fake dating thing is a lot of work. 

Actually, that's a lie. Being with Satoru is easy — maybe a little scarily so, with how quickly he's wiggled his way into the seams and stitches of your life — but the pretending? That's hard.

You're tired. Water runs over your fingers as you rinse the rice grains. Maybe you don't need a hug, but it would be really nice to get one. 

"Honey, I'm hooome!" 

You set the rice cooker to cook and turn just as Satoru steps into the kitchen, a wide smile on his face as he crowds you back into the counter. 

"What happened to using the front door?" you ask, ignoring the way your heart stutters in your chest as he leans over you. Cypress and fresh air and Gojo Satoru fills your senses, his warmth seeping into you as his palms meet the counter on either side of you. "The neighbors are gonna talk." 

"I wanted to get back faster," Satoru pouts. He leans down, clearly angling for something, and you pretend not to notice. "Did you miss me?" 

"We were just talking a few hours ago," you point out, raising an eyebrow. You put your hands up to keep him from pushing you any further, but the instant your palms meet his chest you can't help it — you slide them up, looping them around his neck and dragging him down, as natural and instinctive as breathing. 

Satoru smiles as you kiss. You can feel his lips curving irrepressibly even as you try to kiss him, as you lick into his mouth and stretch up on tiptoes to get closer, sinking one of your hands into his fluffy white hair and shoving his headband out of the way. 

He huffs out a laugh when you pull away with a light tug on his lower lip with your teeth. Annoying bastard. "Gojo, what the hell —" 

Satoru dips down again and catches your complaint with his mouth, kissing you properly this time, melting you into his stupidly perfect arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He breaks away just a breath to tsk. "It's 'Satoru', remember?" 

"Shut up, Satoru," you grumble. Your hand drags down from his neck to grip at his bicep and a bolt of heat lances through you, but you just lean up to kiss the stupid smirk off his pretty face. "Welcome home." 

His hair is a mess, sticking up every which way with his headband caught in the strands, so you yank it off entirely and grin as the silvery strands fall into his eyes. He shakes his hair into place with a fond smile, his brilliant blue eyes soft and warm as he tugs you impossibly closer. "You did miss me!" 

"Shut up, Satoru," you say, but there's no bite to it and he laughs. "It was a long day, okay? How was yours?" 

"Hmm? I wanna hear about yours first. C'mon, tell me. I'll make dinner." 

You snort. "All you have to do is heat up the leftover tonkatsu. I started the rice already." 

"Great, so we have more time for kissing practice!" 

"Uh, I guess? Ah — Satoru, wait —" 

"Tell me about your day," he murmurs, lips pressed to the skin right below your ear. You can feel his smirk against your neck as he moves, kissing you slowly and carefully, mapping out every sensitive and delicate piece of you. "I want to know everything." 

Satoru is warm and solid and firm against you, the hard planes of muscle hidden under his loose clothing revealed in every shift of his body against your own. You hold onto his biceps for dear life, clinging to him even as you try to muster the strength to push him away. But every minute flex of his muscles beneath your fingers makes your knees weak and every light suck and nibble along your neck is making you dizzy and — this is so unfair. 

"Satoru, S-ah!" You jerk in his hold as he latches onto a particularly sensitive part of your neck and he grunts, rolling his hips against yours with a terrifying fluidity. You whimper in spite of yourself at the hot, hard press of him against the space where warmth is pooling alarmingly quickly. God, he — he's so stupidly hot — but you haven't gone any further than kissing, haven't talked about boundaries and how far he's willing to go as your fake boyfriend — and your conscience is yelling at you to let him go but his teeth nip at your skin and you nearly sob as the sensation travels directly down to your clit. 

Fuck. 

"Satoru, stop." 

He stops immediately, pulling back and blinking down at you with a hazy, fucked out expression that does nothing to help the ache in your gut. You stare at him, a little annoyed that he looks so good like this, because of course he does. 

"What's wrong?" he asks, a little breathlessly. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I —" 

"No, no," your hands grip at his sleeves, keeping him close though he's made only the barest of movements to step back, "I'm not hurt, but — Satoru, isn't this… too much?"

Steam is whistling out behind him, though you can barely see with his broad shoulders blocking the light. The pleasant scent of cooked rice begins to fill the air. "Too much?" he repeats. The chuckle he lets out is a little strangled. "Sorry, sorry. I just. Didn't know you could sound like that."

"Let's… eat dinner."

Satoru's eyes are bright. "Sure, baby." Your face heats incriminatingly at the endearment. "I missed you, too, y'know."

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

[smalltimidbean]

Sobbing session interrupted by delivery of a stinky rat-man