#i'm sure you are aware of this anon since you are on my blog BUT. i'm aroace too and i have so much joy in it :)

[knifearo]

Hi! i've recently been coming to terms with the fact im very likely aroace, with aromanticism being the Main One on my mind since i've been struggling a bit with accepting that its possible i may never Be in a traditional relationship, mostly due to the fact that so much of what people set up as milestones to reach in life revolve around romantic love.

I just wanted to say i've really appreciated your blog, its been really nice see your posts and its just been helping a lot in trying to navigate all this :) aromanticism feels like its not talked about anywhere near as much as it should be (feels like it'd help not only aroace ppl but like. everyone), and if i'd known that so many people felt this same way sooner i think it would've brought some relief.

it's been especially tough lately i think with not being a teenager anymore, meaning all my friends around me are finding romantic partners and i guess its tough not to feel like the 'second choice' (some of this stemming from anxiety rather than actually how they treat me), and navigating how i feel around all that (also realising that at this point im not just a late bloomer lol). its been a real help finding spaces online that have people talking about their variety of aspec experiences, and its nice to know there's others like me :)

hello, my dear anon <2

first of all: i'm so glad to provide a space for you that's helpful and comforting. community is so important, especially in experiences that can feel so isolating; no matter how you're feeling, at any point, there will always be people here to support you and listen to you and stand by your side. the aspec community is so important to me and i'm so happy to hear that it's been good to you :)

second of all: coming to terms with being aromantic can be difficult, for sure. the fact that so many of us use the words "coming to terms" is significant to begin with; it was very much the same for me, where it felt like a grieving process for a life that i never really wanted but was Told that i should have. it's difficult to work through the knowledge that the entire course of your life, as people set it up for you, is going to be changed away from what you were told would make you happy. this obviously isn't the same for everybody—i have a lot of people in my notes talking about how aromanticism was a wholly positive, freeing discovery for them—but. y'know. it's not like that for everybody, especially not at first. breaking out of amatonormativity is no easy task. just to express that i felt the same things right alongside you <3

especially with the fear of losing everyone around you to relationships... i mean, i think this is where community comes in again. there's a beautiful world out there where people are more aware of the intricacies of non-romantic relationships and the harms of amatonormativity and in that beautiful world we'll all be secure in knowing that our relationships with people will be important no matter the nature of them, but in the meantime, the security of being friends with other aspec people who are aware of all of this can be really comforting. you'll find the people who will stay by you no matter what, eventually, but forming those relationships with people who already understand is really nice. just like any queer relationships, i think. obviously there are cis people who will be cool but oh, the beauty and comfort and joy of t4t relationships in any form... aspec4aspec (a4a? do we have a general term for that? ace4ace aro4aro etc.) relationships are very important to me. helps to deal with that irrational anxiety, too. :)

one thing about being aromantic is that you will look around at the world and realize how innately helpful and revolutionary aromanticism would be if more people knew about it... again. a beautiful world someday. what we do for now is keep talking about it and keep sharing aro joy and keep developing our own important non-romantic relationships and promoting relationship anarchy and establishing our own lives and personhood on our own terms. so happy to have you here as aroace if that's the term you do land on <2 adore you, treasure you, etc., and i hope you have a wonderful wonderful day. feel free to check in anytime about anything! the ask box is always always open. xoxo

[gorgeouslypink]

I AM SURE × SATS Challenge

Hey guys! A lot of anons have been asking for a method/challenge to enter the void and so I just wanted to release this challenge. This challenge can be used for any desire, but since this is a void blog, I'm going to assume your desire is to enter the void. This challenge is so so so easy and I feel like this is really going to help a lot of people so let's get into it.

What is the I Am Sure method?

I think** that is the original creator so I am just going to insert her video of her explaining it:

What is SATS?

Ive been talking about SATS for quite a while now so I dont think I need to go in depth. Here is one of my favorite posts on understanding what SATS is and here is my indepth explanation as to why I recommend SATS so much. Also, here are some of the success stories I've received from some of my followers.

The Challenge:

Every morning, as soon as you wake up, either say or write or think "I am sure that I will wake up in the void state aware tonight." Anytime you think of the void or your unfavorable 3d, repeat that affirmation to yourself. As you go to sleep, do SATS and imagine a scene that implies that you woke up in the void state aware and really feel it. Keep imagining this scene on repeat until you fall asleep. Persist in this challenge and tell me your success story! That's all 💗

[wingsofachampion]

OOC

I'm going to preface this by saying that I'm not mad at anyone. I love the Pokemon IRL community, and I'm so so happy to be a part of it. And I don't plan on leaving for good anytime soon.

But. Look.

This is getting out of hand.

I've been here since November of 2022, and I haven't seen things being this bad in the community since The Incident.

I'm trying as hard as I can to hold things together, even when it seems like everything's falling apart. But it's getting really exhausting.

So that's why I'm making this post.

There's a lot of problems happening in this community, and I'm going to try to address at least a few of them in this post.

So, here we go.

Part 1: Anon Hate & Other Harassment

There's unfortunately a lot of this in the community. I've been a victim of it myself.

Anon hate is a serious problem that has led several pokebloggers to completely disable anon asks or even leave the community entirely.

I'm not sure how to combat this, unfortunately, other than blocking them as they come, but that's an imperfect solution.

There's also been direct harassment, too, not just through anon asks. I'm unsure how to tackle that either, but I'm spreading awareness just in case.

Part 2: Lack of Engagement

There's a ton of blogs that get little to no engagement, and not for a lack of trying. Pixelated made a great post on this already, so I won't rehash it much.

My main advice is to send asks. That goes both ways. If you see someone struggling to get engagement, send them an ask, brighten their day!

And if you're struggling to get engagement, send asks to as many blogs as you feel comfortable. That way, you put your name out there.

I know it can be scary to send asks, but if it helps, you can send one to me! I won't bite!

Part 3: "Cliques"

There's a lot of subcommunities in the Pokemon IRL community. Eebydeebies, Fallers, Blueberry Academy, and so on. And that's great! What's not so great, though, is how some of these can be rather cliquey.

Sometimes, it's hard to join a subcommunity. Sometimes they push you away, are just difficult to fit in a new blog, or something else.

I've been trying to remedy this in the eebydeeby subcommunity by having Gen send asks to every new eeby blog I can find, but I'm not in every subcommunity, so I can't do this for all of them.

What I suggest to remedy this is, those in subcommunities, reach out! If you see someone trying to join, reach out and welcome them in! Send them asks! Tell other people in the subcommunity about them! Let them know that they're welcome there.

Part 4: Lack of Warnings During MMM

This one is something that mostly just affects me personally, but Muse Mixup Madness has been extremely stressful for me because people keep completely changing up their blogs with little to no warning.

One of my worst triggers is post-apocalypse, and I've been jumpscared by this several times during Muse Mixup Madness by blogs that were previously safe.

Please warn what your Muse Mixup Madness stuff will contain, and please use content warnings, too.

Part 5: New Blogs Dying

This is one of the ones I'm saddest about. Almost every day, there's at least one new person trying to join Pokemon IRL, but 75% of the time their blog dies within a week.

I recommend supporting newcomers as much as you can. If you see a newcomer, send them an ask! Interact with them! Boost them if you feel comfortable with it! Don't let them feel so discouraged that they leave so soon.

I recommend checking the reblogs on realpokemon's pinned post every so often. It's a fantastic way to find new blogs.

Part 6: Exhaustion & A Call for Help

I've been trying very very hard to fix things, but I'm only human (as much as I wish I was a Meganium). I can't do everything by myself.

So I'm asking for help.

I have two blogs primarily made for boosting. @pkmnirlblogboosting and @tacklrnews. Former is OOC, while the latter is IC.

Pkmnirlblogboosting is for boosting blogs that either have less than 75 followers, or are less than a month old. If anyone wants to help me run it and boost blogs, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to pkmnirlblogboosting.

Tacklrnews is for reporting on events that are happening in-character. Its primary purpose is to boost stuff happening on people's blogs that they want more people to see and interact with. If anyone wants to help me with this, feel free to send me a message asking if you can be added to tacklrnews.

A caveat with tacklrnews: It's fully in-character, so you'll need to create a character for it to be a part of Pelipper's little news agency. It also writes articles on Pokemon RPC and Pokeask blogs, so to people in those communities, this offer is open to you all, too.

I hope these will both be helpful in revitalizing the Pokemon IRL community.

Part 7: Moving Forward

So, how do we move forward?

I think we should be more supportive towards others in this community. Less OOC anon hate and harassment, more engagement and boosting. Tell your fellow blogrunners how much you appreciate their blogs! Let them know they have people who care about them.

I love this community so, so much. I don't want it to fall apart and die. I'm doing everything in my power to keep it standing, but I'm just one person. I need your help, too.

Together, we can make this community better.

That's about all I had to say.

If you've read this far, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to read through this.

I'd appreciate any reblogs to spread this around, but don't feel pressured to if you don't want to.

I hope you all have a wonderful Pride Month.

-Bench

[makingqueerhistory]

hi, i sent an ask ages ago asking you to not platform certain transphobic genocidal bloggers as if they are in good faith. and i've never seen a response but you've reblogged the post in question multiple times since. so i'm just wondering what's up w that

Yes, I remember you, you were on anon before, nice to see you again! If I am correct what you are refering to is me answering a question that came from someone who was a zionist asking about my stance on Palestine. Well here is the thing, I try to approach most questions asked of me in this project as if they were in good faith.

I knew it was unlikely to change anyones position, but a part of being an educational resource is trying not to write off anyone.

The question being referred to was from a zionist, which I knew upon trying to check for the context as the question itself confused me a little in its phrasing. I also am aware that engaging with zionists is not always the right choice. I don't know that it was the right choice this time, but I can walk you through my thought process and you can make your own judgement.

I specifically decided to answer that question on that day because it had been sitting on my heart for a minute. When it came in, it immediately made me uncomfortable.

I knew it might cause a bit of a backlash (which it did), but I realized that it was an opportunity to make clear my stance on free Palestine. I have made a couple of posts, but because I try to stay in my lane they had not been as direct as I wanted to be on here (though other social medias had more obvious moments), and I had not had such a direct question yet. I knew for me it was important to clarify that from everything I have learned and explored in both history and current events, a free Palestine is a necessary and urgent call. I also wanted to take a second to reframe the question.

I had gotten backlash for posting some amazing Jewish people because they are pro-Palestine, and I wanted to take a moment to make it clear that I learned to love and dedicate my time to free Palestine from Jewish people. In all the intentional obfuscating it is often portrayed as if Jewishness is synonomous with zionism which is a dangerous claim and an untrue one.

It's also necessary for me to say, I did not know that persons entire past. I knew that they were a zionist from a cursory look on their blog, but I learned after posting that they were rather notorious. If I had known their reputation before, I may have chosen not to answer. But I also think there is worth in answering a question honestly, no matter the asker.

If you still disagree with my choice, I understand and respect that. I am still not sure I made the right choice, but if I am being truthful, I have seen the impact of the answer I gave and it seems to be quite positive. Most people were glad to hear a clear stance from me, and the person in question got added to many blocklists on that day.

[isa-ghost]

Attention JSE Community: Important

PLEASE REBLOG

This will probably blow up in my face, but something needs to be said. Besides, anyone who comes after me for this supports genocide, so. Whatever. Free blocklist if anyone sends me hate anons.

There's a person in the community, who runs a few blogs you may know, which you'll want to block if a) you're Palestinian or b) you wholeheartedly oppose the genocide taking place against them. I'm going to provide context, then list the blogs you'll want to block.

Back in November or so, when I first started reblogging pro-Palestine posts, I as an American wasn't as informed at the time about the war going on as I am now. Like any sensible American, I fully expected that any major media source I'd be given info from would be feeding me propaganda or just lies in general. (I'm right but I digress). As soon as I started reblogging pro-Palestine posts, I got concerned asks from two anonymous Israeli people who were formerly veteran followers of mine (one had been following me for at least 6 years). I thought their concern was reasonable, given I doubted the media sources I'd be most likely to get information from. I offered to let them correct me if I reblogged misinformation, assuming America would lie to me about both sides of the war, because of course I want to ensure I'm not perpetuating misinfo.

Mind you, I only reblogged 3 types of pro-Palestine posts: charity signal boosts, posts BY Palestinians, and videos of actual literal real life footage of proof or interviews about what Israeli forces are doing to Palestine and its people.

The anons I was getting started getting angrier, more aggressive, and guilt-trippy. I'm not sure which post was their last straw, but either the main anon (the one following me 6+ years) or BOTH anons I had previously heard from attacked me in my askbox calling me antisemitic and saying other nasty things because I was supporting Palestine. The main anon guilt-tripped me and straight up claimed Israel is not harming Palestine whatsoever, in other words denying the genocide is happening. Then they unfollowed me. This person owns the blogs I'm going to list to you.

I haven't heard from this main anon or the other one on Tumblr since, however they both were, until recently, also in a JSE Community theorist server I mod in, and recently blew up in there after the server mods declared their support for Palestine. The server owners AND the mods have been getting hate anons from Zionists (presumably the two anons sending multiple asks) for the last few days because of it, just like I did when I kept reblogging pro-Palestine posts.

One of the two anons, I'm unsure which, also owned a blog called @/hamas-is-isis, which is now inactive and/or deleted. You can still block the blog regardless just to be safe. Whichever anon didn't own the blog was reblogging its posts. So both anons supported the blog to say the least.

NOTE: DO NOT INTERACT WITH THESE BLOGS. ONLY BLOCK THEM. THIS POST IS NOT INTENDED TO CAUSE HARASSMENT, ONLY AWARENESS.

The main anon, the one denying the genocide is happening, owns the following blogs, two of which are/were major community blogs (which is why I'm fully expecting this to blow up in my face somehow).

@/theoristsden

@/hug-bot

@/aceofspades-lena (this is the main anon & possibly the owner of @/hamas-is-isis)

I strongly urge anyone who sees this post to block them, because I and at least 6 other people I will not name to avoid them getting harassed further, have witnessed this person being legitimately malicious towards Palestine and the topic of it. Again, they sent me an ask denying that Israel was hurting Palestinian people.

The second anon, the server mods realized today, had previously been sending subtle Islamophobic dogwhistle art in the server. We didn't catch it until after it came out that they're Zionists. Obviously, for any members of the server who see this that may be concerned, the mods have now deleted that art. The following blogs are theirs and I'm urging anyone who sees this to block them too:

@/phantomhunt

@/spacetimesystem

On the spacetimesystem blog, there are other sideblogs they listed in their pinned post if you want to go as far as to block those too.

I won't share it on this post, but the mods of the server I mentioned have screenshot proof of some of the hate anons that have been sent (I don't have any of the ones I got months ago unfortunately), as well as some other things these two have said. We also have a screenshot of the art.

I also want to mention, we found them discussing the idea of making a JSE community space that would "accept them." If you see Discord invites floating around, be wary. You could unknowingly be joining a Zionist-owned, anti-Palestine server.

Absolutely mind-boggling to me that these two would do all this or be this way when the charity that Sean supported for Thankmas this year is helping Palestinians. Not to mention he just straight up doesn't want hateful people in his community at all. But I digress.

Anyway, I urge you to block the blogs I listed. At least one of them is genuinely malicious and has attacked multiple people on anon over voicing support for Palestine. The other made art that implied Palestinians are monsters.

Free Palestine, and stay safe.

And once more: DO NOT INTERACT WITH THE LISTED BLOGS. ONLY BLOCK. I AM NOT MAKING THIS POST LOOKING TO GET ANYONE HARASSED.

[judesmoonbeauty]

felt bad that i couldn't reach the epilogue in jude's party event...could u summarize what happened in the epilogue?

Hi Anon! Sure, I'm happy to summarize. If you're referring to his BD party event epilogue, I did translate that here.

If you're referring to the party event for his placing #1 in the 2024 JP elections, then see below. There wasn't an epilogue for this event, just the six chapters, so I'll just share a brief summary chapter since I don't know how much of the story you obtained.

Please note: that I've not translated this as accurately as I can yet, so some details can't be guaranteed. I'm planning to start translation of the event soon.

Chapter 1: Morning Time (Kate POV)

Jude returns to his room just before dawn and finds Kate asleep on his bed. He sits down and touches her cheek wondering about she could be dreaming about. He falls asleep next to her and when Kate wakes up she finds Jude is still sleeping and snuggling with her. When Jude wakes up and comments on her bedhead he tells her not to show her bedhead to anyone else. He calls her cute. The exchange "good morning" greetings.

Chapter 2: Lunch Time (Kate POV)

Kate is hard at work at Raven Co and she would like a break soon and just then Jude appears with more work, but when Kate puffs her cheeks and says that maybe Jude should treat his hardworking girlfriend, he takes her to lunch. Kate eats the fatty part of Jude's dish because he's health conscious, and he and Kate banter. Ellis is there and says they look like they're having fun, and both of them deny it simultaneously....(liars.)

Chapter 3: Business Meeting (Ellis POV)

Jude and Ellis are attending a business meeting with a Jeweler that Jude wants to partner with. As Jude is examining the jewelry, he comes across a beautiful moonstone necklace that has not been fully polished. Ellis notices that Jude's face instantly softens when he looks at it, and he know it's because he's thinking of Kate. Jude tends to look a bit kinder since dating. Ellis thinks that Jude isn't even aware of changes, so until Jude does notice it himself, Ellis decides that he won't say anything about it.

Chapter 4: A House Raid that Evening (Jude's POV)

Jude's beating the crap out of some nobleman to whom he'd lent money and broke his contract with Jude. Jude thinks to himself that seeking revenge and punishing those who broke their agreements with him isn't as refreshing to him anymore. He doesn't understand why until he touches the jewelry box in his pocket and realizes it's because of Kate. Jude leaves the mansion and returns to Raven Co where he finds her busy working. When she notices Jude, she smiles brightly and welcomes him back. Her cheerful voice is like something that removes poison from him. They return home.

Chapter 5: A Moonlit Room (Kate POV)

It's smexy time.....but only a little bit. They were supposed to just have dinner and chat before bed, but Kate said that she wanted to win at least once against Jude which struck his sadist chord. So they play a game. They banter with each other a bit, but Jude stops the game and then puts the necklace on her. When she asks the name of the stone and he tells her it's a moonstone, Kate thinks about his promise about the moon and how it's a curse to him. Struggling to move forward and being torn between keeping his promise and the reality that he can't reach it. Kate surrenders the game and tells him to be as gentle as possible. He gently pushes her on the bed and tells her that he'll take good care of her.

Chapter 6: Epilogue: Smexxxy Time For Real (Jude POV)

It's smut. Due to my blog's Ask Policy, I will not be discussing in detail what this entails. Kate's passed out from their fun time, and he thinks about a lot of things, like how it's more fun bullying Kate than it is harming nobles, how he'll never forgive her if someone else hurts her besides him, and how she is like the warm, glowing moonlight that guides him in darkness. He admits how if they never met, then he never would go to moon and would've simply died as he's destined to....and that the day of his death might have come sooner. He hold's Kate tight in his arms and tells her that he will never let go of her, so when she does leave him then she should make sure to kill him. To his surprise, she tells him not to let go ever. He tells her to go to sleep and she does so. The moon is still annoyingly far away, but there's no way he's giving up.

[ingravinoveritas]

hi, I'm so so sorry if this is crossing a line so feel free to ignore this if you're uncomfortable. I recently saw one of your posts where you mentioned an exchange with NG that you now realized was creepy- may I ask what happened?

Hi Anon. You're not crossing a line, it's okay. I actually have a few other Anons about Neil/the whole situation that I'm currently working on answering, so yours is no problem at all.

The exchanges with Neil that you're referring to took place in mid-2021 and then about six months later in early 2022. I still have the screenshots of them here on my blog--mostly because I really don't even know what to do with them now--so I can link you to the posts: Here and here.

Those posts only have the screenshots, so I will provide the context as well. The first exchange was me responding to something Neil had written about how "the most dangerous people in the world are the ones who tell you things 'for your own good.'" In my response, I talked about how someone once sent me a message under the guise of pretending to care about me, when their true intention was to shame me.

(Backstory: Fifteen years ago, there was a meme going around known as a "demotivational poster." It was a riff on motivational posters, which typically feature a picture with one word in a large font underneath, and then a caption in a smaller font under that. So "demotivational posters" were meant to be a parody of that. (Think Cards Against Humanity as a dark analog to Apples to Apples.) What had happened was that someone--no one I knew, but a complete stranger--found a picture of me in a bathing suit (either from my old Myspace account or who knows where) and used it to create a meme with the word "DESPERATE" under the photo. The caption under that was something like "When you're out of alcohol, paper bags, and Viagra, but go for it anyway"--essentially implying that my face was ugly and someone would have to be desperate to have sex with me. By the time I became aware of it, this poster had received thousands of views, and the person who sent it to me essentially blamed me and said it was my fault for posting a picture of myself in a bathing suit online. Go figure...)

So this was what I explained to Neil, and then followed it with a second tweet stating that the picture of me used in the meme was an old one, and I added a current picture of me in a bathing suit to illustrate what I looked in a bathing suit in the present day. Neil didn't respond to my first tweet, but he responded to the one with the photo and said "And you rock a bikini."

The second exchange (in 2022) was me responding to a tweet of his where he mentioned going on tour/upcoming tour dates, and while I wasn't at all certain he would remember, I referenced the bikini since it was part of our previous interaction. He gave the response that you can see in the second post, saying "What a lovely invitation" and that he wasn't coming to my area at that time but would be someday.

As I had mentioned in my previous post, it was all so mild and nonthreatening on his end that I wasn't even sure if he was being flirtatious to begin with. He had created this image of himself as someone harmless, someone who it was safe to send a picture like that to, because you'd never think anything would come of it. It's only now in hindsight that I see the creepiness--that he didn't reply to the tweet where I shared something personal and painful, but did reply to my tweet with the bikini picture in it, that he was so overly "friendly" in his responses, and so on.

Again, I am emphatically not at all trying to compare these exchanges to what the survivors of Neil's actions went through. I take full responsibility for my own actions--I chose to send that picture, I chose to bring it up again in the 2022 exchange, and then when I met him in person in 2023. My only purpose in sharing this is that I do think it shows how Neil presented himself and how these are things he's clearly practiced at and has known how to fool people for a very long time.

I hope this helps to answer your question, and I very much appreciate your consideration in regard to my being comfortable with answering this.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

i love a good old traumatized reader

reader whose favorite acolyte is xiao, even if he killed them once or twice ! at least he had the courtesy to make it quick..

reader who flinches every time someone makes a sudden move near them. we study their every move with an intense gaze, our body rigid and cold.

reader who does their best to disguise their emotions, but really can’t help but look at certain acolytes with apathy. i mean, who would look someone in the eye after they removed your limbs?

reader who wakes up screaming almost every night, still plagued by memories of the things they endured.

we try to act collected, sure, but the facade cracks sometimes around our closest acolytes. the ones we know we can trust- as friends. ((maybe kazuha, xiao, or itto. big guy. himbo. good hugs. also small guys. good for cuddling.

but yippee!! itto or kazuha never even tried to kiII us! that’s a win in my book. xiao on the other hand,, has beheaded us twice! we thank him for making it painless though. i like to think they all get along well

Few Headcanons + Slight Discussion

Sorry, Anon. This is too angsty and beyond my level of bad writing so no oneshot today 💀 Not to mention that this request is giving me heavy "mary sue" or "damsel in distress" vibes. I don't particularly like those if I'm being honest. So, instead, please accept these headcanons!

Although this idea is really good and well thought out, I personally disagree the idea of Reader even trying to be around their acolytes.

Sure, they may still have their favorite character and all that, but let's be honest, anyone who's gained PTSD at this level like Reader would want to stay away from everyone as far as possible.

However, I admit that to the people that were nice and didn't try to kill Reader, they will certainly be talked to. Said-characters will probably have to be prepared to face a lot of unhappy glares and faces.

Though I do doubt Reader will be even willing to go out all that often, so they'll probably invite them to their palace or something. Or maybe, if you wanna make it so that Reader does go out once in a while, Reader sneaks out and does their best to hide and visit said-characters.

Since this request has a slight soft spot for Xiao, despite him being one of the killers, I like to imagine that Reader has a admire-stay-away game with him. They admire them from afar, but won't go close or even start a conversation with him in fear of being killed.

Reader ain't risking being killed again, no matter how fast that man will make it. It's still traumatizing, alright?

Alright, back to the characters that didn't attempt to kill Reader. Itto and Kazuha are so going to get spoiled by Reader with a lot of things—personally made dishes, random gifts, and just simply having a relaxing good time.

Half suspect that Reader will be silent. They are trying to be aware of their surroundings at all times, even during these relaxing moments. Itto and Kazuha have to constantly remind them to have fun and relax because sometimes Reader gets to irked up of being caught.

Let's be honest, these two can protect Reader just fine. They've had their encounters with the Raiden Shogun (sort of, on Itto's behalf), so they aren't exactly scared.

And that's all I got! Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted, Anon, but it's the best I got. See you all around, now! :)

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I was originally going to reject this request, but I figure it would be better to just make headcanons of these. Do note that i might not be so lenient as I was with this request. I don't really like too angsty reader—sometimes they're just too much. It gives me "damsel in distress" vibes and I don't really like it.

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[angelofsmalldeath-codeine]

What we lose in art when blogs leave the platform

Last night I was working on my fics database (I’m the spreadsheet kinda autistic) and checking if the links I had were still working and trying to fetch links for the ones I had recently added. I was upset about the number of blogs gone (some might have changed name and I haven't kept up and that one is on me). Some really amazing stories, art and overall fun is all gone. Precious interactions that help build the community totally vanished.

The vitriol and unjustified hate I see spewed everywhere has gotten to unbearable levels. I’ve been in fandoms and fanfic communities since the days of printed zines and yahoo/geocities groups that were uber hard to get into. I have survived all the websites that shutdown leading us to mourn the loss of that work. Fanfic was akin to contraband and harshly judged. We know we are weirdos, hence why we find community in alternative spaces away from the mainstream.

It feels like people want us to go underground again. Cool, we can do that, but we gonna be gatekeeping the hell outta these spaces then.

What peeves me the most is the puritanical take that has been recently brought into the space and how that’s used to measure others and judge them on some standards they are not even aware of until they start getting hate. Said hate is usually delivered via anon asks, of course, because god forbid them having the decency of defending their shitty takes, right?

Still on the puritanical take, the goalpost seems to change often too. It is self-serving. Kink shaming/topic judging is the default mode until someone decides they like that particular thing and it is no longer controversial. Why are you censoring your peers? Why do you assume that everyone subscribes to your beliefs, tastes, preferred topics and tropes? The performative activism isn't a good look either.

Sometimes this fandom feels like the mormons who do the soaking thing so they can get off before marriage without actually fucking. If the cock goes in because my friend is jumping on the mattress, that is on the mattress, not on me. I digress but y'all get the gist.

I have been on this hellsite since its launch and have seen many fandoms come and go. The assholes eventually fuck off to be toxic somewhere else, but they do tend to jump from fandom to fandom for a while until their reputation and toxicity catches up with them. It takes too long and the damage they cause is often quite extensive.

We are not in competition with each other here. I have said it so many times... Tumblr isn't a monetised platform and fanfic is a gift economy. Leave your fucking TikTok and Instagram cut throat mentality at the door. We don't tear each other down trying to build ourselves up in this house.

During the pandemic fanfic came into the mainstream mostly because of people on TikTok. Great! We are a welcoming bunch and it makes us happy that more people can find joy in consuming fan made art of their favourite shows and ships in whatever form they choose.

It is not because we've opened the door that we will let y'all trash the room. I'm sure you were raised better than that.

Can you not be assholes? Much appreciated.

P.S.: I am too old to care and have zero fucks left to give about anyone's feelings getting offended over this. Fuck you very much.

[numberonetacostan]

polycule anon is back i have more thoughts (just gonna use ✨ as a sort of tag so you know it’s me lmao)

i have more hcs:

- more tacomic centered but i could totally see mic fidgeting via doing taco’s hair in tiny little braids. not only bc it’s cute but also bc i think taco really likes having her hair played with for some reason. just thinking about them watching a movie together with taco leaning against mic while mic braids and unbraids her hair to keep her hands busy

- i love the nest hc that i’ve seen on this blog as well and i think it’d be 10x more fun with the polycule. girl is stealing all of their clothes and there’s nothing they can do to stop her. she is such a little thief

- again related to a hc mentioned on this blog: taco hoarding stuff. she totally steals random little trinkets from everyone in the polycule (provided they’re not important to them bc she would never upset them like that) and stashes it away in one of her little hiding spots that nobody else can fit in. sometimes just to mess with them she’ll return it to the exact same spot she found it in days or weeks later. mepad is 100% sure it’s her but just lets her keep doing it since it’s not harming anyone

- just. all the little passing touches between them all. hand holding, little kisses when they’re saying hello or goodbye, etc. i personally think taco is really sensitive to touch bc it’s just been so long, so she reacts a lot better to random light touches than sudden hugs or smth. in turn she’d probably act the same with everyone else since it’s what she’s comfortable with. so just. constant little passing touches whenever they see each other

- i love the wingman idea you mentioned so much. i think it’d be extra funny if mepad was completely aware that taco liked him but knew she needed to take her time sorting it out and all. he’d probably wait for her to come to him unless it becomes increasingly obvious that she won’t and he has to do something or she’s just going to be constantly trying to awkwardly flirt with him but never going any further

- give me taco and toilet bonding over the fact that they both messed up so much but still have people that care about them and want to help them. they are genuinely so similar to each other it drives me insane

- mepad is so sweet with all of them even before they get together. he’s always willing to help comfort any of them and is the first to offer up encouragement or kind words. i think he’d also be the first to say how proud he is of them when they do something they’ve struggled with in the past (ex. mic standing up for herself, she’s def gotten better about it but i’m sure she still struggles at times; taco actually communicating properly and being more open about her emotions; i don’t have a example for toilet tbh i tried coming up with one and just couldn’t)

- related to the above, mepad definitely has to help mediate when taco and mic have issues in their relationship. they both tend to fall back into their own patterns which is not healthy and only really causes problems. he notices them start to avoid each other a bit and sits them both down to talk out what happened and why they’re both upset. it helps when he knows enough about taco to figure out what she may have done even if she won’t say it

Hi Sparkle!!!!!!!!!^^ happy to have you back, and thank you for submitting more of the polycule of all time!!!!!!! XD

Awwwww hewjjwhw!!!! I imagine that after all the time in the woods, Taco is really really happy to be able to have clean hair again!!!!!! So getting it played with like this would make her so happy!!! No more oily, matted hair, only soft happy braidable hair!!!!! And Mic would love love to touch it!!!!!!^^

LITTLE THIEF!!!!!!!!!!^^ yay!!!! I'm so glad you like my hc!!!!!! :D omg she would steal clothes from all of them and just!! Revel in how safe and warm she feels with something of theirs surrounding her!!!!! Mepad's stuff would be so massive compared to her it's so cute <3 <3

Omg little thief part 2!!!!!!!! She can take little knick-knacks of theirs and keep them in her shell too!!!!!!! Just something little from each of them so she always has her partners with her, in a way. Mepad would find it very cute <3!!!!!

YES YES YES!!!!! She would be so sensitive to touch after the homeless era!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They would be so sweet and patient with her, letting her take the lead in a case-by-case basis. Some days Taco maybe want to snuggle for hours, and some she doesn't want to be touched at all!!! And that's perfectly okay and they never touch her without knowing she'll be okay with it!!!!!^^

OMGA Mepad knows and is totally chill and just gonna let her figure things out for herself and even though he reciprocates he wants to give her that space aaaaaaaaaa I love Mepad so much. I also think he would be a better wingman than Mic, but only because he's subtle about it. Mic is not.

TOICO PARALLELS DID SOMEONE SAY TOICO PARALLELS BOTH WHO HAVE MADE SO MANY MISTAKES AND ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THEM AND DO WELL. WHO HAD MEPAD AS THE ONE PERSON WILLING TO BELIEVE THEY WERE MORE THAN THOSE MISTAKES??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I am #1 toico supporter in any dynamic they can be platonic romantic anywhere in between and i love them

OUGH AUGH GAH MEPAD BEING THE SUPPORTIVE KING HE IS. HE IS SO SO PROUD OF ALL OF THEM. *gently taps mepad because I would NEVER slap him* this bad boy can fit so much love inside him. Guh I'm so sorry most of this is just me gushing over what you've said rather than giving an actual response.

Oh yeah he would absolutely be the mediator for them. He's an excellent mediator anyways, and for Taco and Mic he'd have such a solid understand of both of them he'd really be able to help them work it out. Toilet tried once when Mepad was taking a well-deserved Me-day and. Well nothing actually got resolved but it did dissolve into chaos that left them all laughing so hard that Taco and Mic forgot what they were upset about. Thank you, Toilet <3.

[reverie-starlight]

hiii, just poppin' in to say i love ALL of your writing (no matter how self indulgent) it's always so so amazing

i also wanted to ask about your favourite headcanons of your favourite haikyuu boys/girls?

AWWW ANON ILY THANK YOU SO MUCH, THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME <333

and oooo that's a tough one... I'm gonna do relationship HCs and I'm gonna try to limit myself to 5 but we shall see how that goes...

(...I only did some boys in this one cause it was getting long but if you want me to do one for the ladies of haikyuu I absolutely will. alisa and kiyoko are my wives.)

{relationship HCs for various hq boys}

gn!reader, pure fluff <3

timeskip spoilers!!

includes: kuroo, atsumu, oikawa, sakusa and semi (who would have guessed)

kuroo

the light of my life. my first husband.

like he could be so attentive to your every want and need

but you need to communicate with him what those things are before he actually picks up on them

but once he does? you're gonna feel like royalty with how amazing he treats you

kuroo is definitely the type to rile you up for his own enjoyment

like not enough to make you actually angry but just mildly annoyed, or to get you into the same playful mood he's in

usually you'd go into playful banter from there

he loooovvveeesss kissing you

like so much it's actually concerning (but you love it anyway)

doesn't have a specific place he prefers to kiss you but he will admit to purposefully kissing you in sensitive spots (like your neck or stomach) so he can hear the noises that come from that

if you're like me and get anxious/too in your own head sometimes, he would be so good at keeping you distracted and calm

would hold your hand squeeze it every so often to ground you

(side note he would have the nicest hands, second only to akaashi maybe, and he's aware you like them)

gently cups your cheeks a lot when you're having a conversation, it's so common that neither of you even notice it anymore, so when you're out with friends and he does it, they gag at the affection

also yk that thing where you knock your heads together as a form of affection??? you guys would absolutely do that, it's his favourite thing

since I literally have his jersey in hoodie form, I have to mention that he would purposefully buy clothes he thinks you'd be more likely to steal from him

he lovesss seeing you happy, so your relationship is a lot of fun. he's always making you laugh, which in turn, makes him laugh too

will CRY if you whisper sweet nothings to him after a long, hard day, pls validate him and tell him you love him and he's all that you want and more

and he will absolutely do the same for you, even if you had the best day. he wants to give you everything, so let him !!

scratch his back while he lays on top of you and rants about his day and he turns to putty

he's just very in love with you and wants to make you the happiest person on the planet, he wholeheartedly believes you deserve it <3

atsumu

we all knew he was gonna be on this list

fun fact, kuroo and akaashi were my top two characters for like a year and a half, and then one day atsumu shot to first place (if you couldn't tell from my blog)

anyway if favoritism shows, no it doesn't

he will pick you up at any chance he gets and drag you to your room for cuddles

he is SUCH a cuddly guy I wholeheartedly believe that.

does not mind being the big spoon one bit if that's what you prefer, as long as he gets to hold you in some way

he goes all out for anniversaries and holidays, you actually have to reign him in a lot of the time

will go to the gym and send you mirror selfies with horribly cheesy captions saying how much he misses you and how he wishes you were there with him

the jackals all love you and will 100% side with you in a petty argument just to tease atsumu

his favourite place to kiss you is definitely on the lips. he's not sure why but it just makes him happy

he LOVES it when you kiss his forehead tho

you guys have an entire arsenal of inside jokes

truly your relationship is two dorks best friends in love

after a long day his ideal destress routine would be to make dinner with you and then watch a show on the couch before going on an evening walk together

will show you off at every event he brings you to

he gets so giggly whenever you show him affection without him having to ask for it, it's the cutest thing you've ever seen

this man flirts to see you hideaway and then turns a million shades of red if you give it right back

he is just so proud to call you his partner <3

oikawa

this man is my favourite character in all of haikyuu

he's my favourite character but like, only top 5 in terms of my simp list yk??

but you'd better believe I have some HCs for him

I've said it before and I will say it again, even if Spanish isn't his first language, he would absolutely use Spanish terms of endearment on you while/after living in argentina

things like mi vida, mi sol, mi amor, etc...

i'm half costa rican, you can't blame me for adoring pet names in Spanish, and if you do I will simply ignore you <3

bro is so romantic.

like I genuinely believe he would be one of the most romantic guys out of any of them

very affectionate, but I feel like he wouldn't be so much in public despite what everyone else says

he'd happily show you off at events and stuff, and it would be obvious you two are together, but I think he's definitely more affectionate alone with you

loves loves loves skinship

will literally stick his hands under your shirt when you're cuddling just to trace shapes into your skin

loves gently running his fingers over the features of your face

he just wants to feel you a bit

kisses your temples and fingers the most I think

loves taking baths with you as well, he loves just sitting with you and talking about your days

he always wants to hear about every little detail

he lovesssss when you start rambling on about something and will listen to you so intently bc he knows what it is to feel passionate about something

if you run your hands through his hair he will melt into you, but you didn't hear it from me

he will also melt if you call him any pet name. he'll never admit it, but you know his favourites are the ultra-sweet, tooth-rotting ones he claims to hate

if you're ever insecure about anything in terms of your physical appearance, he will spend so much time complimenting you and kissing every place you point to <3

looks for you in the crowd at his games and smiles at you before he serves bc you're wearing his jersey

i want to give him a million kisses all over his face after he wins a game to see him smile and laugh, I have no problem feeding his ego actually

damn maybe the favoritism showed up more in this one

sakusa

take this as his bday post bc i forgot to get something out for the actual day

i LOVE this guy

I do already have some fluff HCs for him and a clingy!reader

but these are gonna be more general

okay so I do genuinely believe he would be soft for his partner

in public he is not outwardly affectionate

but that's okay bc you love all parts of him and respect his boundaries

however behind closed doors

he will bask in your affection

loves having your arms around him, loves being pressed against you

he's not a robot in public though, oh no

he has a very dry sense of humour, i think, which you love

bc if he has a sly remark or something to make about someone, he'll lean in close and whisper it to you

doesn't matter where you guys are, if he thinks of something, he's gonna want to share it with his partner, especially if he thinks it will make them laugh

his pet names for you range anywhere from "sweetheart" to "you little shit" tbh

lots of playful debates with him too

he likes to subtly match with you, either through colours you wear or like, homescreens that match up when you put your phones side by side

loves to kiss your palms the most and when he's holding your hand or you're cupping his face, he will hold your wrist and press tiny kisses to it

very observant so he will always be picking up on any mood changes or things you're hinting at

his morning voice is god tier, just saying

loves it when you play with his hair right when he wakes up, will literally purr like a cat if you do it long enough, but he will deny anything and distract you from it with a kiss

what a guy <3

semi

THE SEMI APPRECIATION AGENDA LIVES ON

i've said it before and i will say it again: he plays the guitar for you and writes songs with you in mind

he is a literal godsend when it comes to attending to your needs

does not mind one bit if you ask him to get you water at midnight

he is always down for late night drives as well, and has two playlists specifically curated for them and he picks one to play based on whether you're tired and need to get extra sleepy or if you're energetic and want to jam out with him

he's a government worker by day, musician by night and whenever you go to his shows, he will dedicate a song to you

speaking of performances

bringing this one up again, but always has you write something on him before he goes on stage (I have a mini fic based on that idea if u look on my page!!)

HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH OKAY??? would literally worship the ground you walk on if you told him to

gets you souvenirs from wherever he plays a show and presents them to you all dramatically and grins when you laugh at him

you most definitely have a necklace or bracelet with one of his old guitar picks hanging from it

semi is affectionate. not stingy with it in public but not crazy with it behind doors either. he's just. affectionate. most of it comes out in his songwriting anyway.

his main love languages are probably words of affirmation and acts of service

will ABSOLUTELY whisper sweet nothings to you completely unprompted when he's feeling soft just to get you flustered and/or in a sweet mood with him

he is in love, your honour

@emmyrosee more kuroo as promised!!

hope you all enjoyed!! please like and reblog <3

[borderlinereminders]

hi april, thank you so so much for this blog <33 about two years ago, I lost two favorite persons at once when they started dating and we cut contact, and it's been an uphill climb with my BPD ever since. In that time, though, I've started dating my wonderful boyfriend and I've made a lot of strides in communication and managing my feelings. No small part was due to your advice and insight, and I've come to understand my own feelings and urges a lot more rationally. That said, though, I did want to ask directly for your thoughts on something. I'm not sure if its a common experience for other borderline folks or if its just me, but a lot of times when I'm with my boyfriend/FP in person and I get mad about something, I turn away or leave the room to gather myself. However, almost every time I do, being alone (even while in the same room) lets my thoughts spiral out of control. I don't want to constantly rely on my boyfriend's presence because then I risk blowing up at him. But, I feel like I risk making myself more upset whenever I leave too. Do you have any tips on how to manage your feelings in a face-to-face conversation with your favorite person? Or, failing that, how to collect yourself when feeling isolated and abandoned? thank you so much!! <33

Hi anon,

I definitely feel similar when I walk away. I deal with this by distracting myself with something. For me, TikTok or my puzzle game are super distracting and give me something to focus on. ACCEPTS is a great skill for distraction. Sometimes I might need to start by using my Urge Surfing skill first though!

Things like self-care boxes, fidget items and grounding exercises can be good for calming down.

Once I’ve done that for a little, I look at a list of things my partner has done that made me feel loved or happy. Things like surprising me with flowers, or times he’s really been there for me. I might also read cards or letters he’s given me, or read screenshots I’ve saved. This part helps me with the black and white thinking. Reminding myself that there is so much good about him is important to me because of the black and white thinking. When I’m upset, it’s easy to forget.

Once I’m reminded of the good and how much I love my partner (lack of emotional permanence sucks) I think about the conflict and analyze it. I check the facts. Sometimes it’s my irrational thoughts creating a conflict, and in this case, I might challenge my irrational thoughts. Sometimes I need to talk it out with my partner but I do it in a way that is more me asking for reassurance.

Sometimes there’s an issue we need to resolve, so I figure out what that is and possible solutions or compromises.

Then I go back to my partner, and if he is also ready to talk, we talk. We both give each other a chance to have our feelings heard. We both validate each other’s feelings and remind each other we love each other. If there is something to take accountability for, we make sure we do that. Sometimes it’s one of us. Sometimes it’s both.

And then we discuss the problem with the intent of solving it together.

I may use things like DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST or a combination of more than one of them to help me communicate. (I’d try and plan out a rough idea of this in my planning stage). But how I communicate largely depends on the situation and the goal.

For handling the conflict itself, I wrote a bit more about handling conflict in this post.

Make sure you don’t forget to give yourself credit for trying. And don’t beat yourself up if you mess up. I still sometimes mess up and have to apologize. It’s normal. And I think it’s amazing you’re aware of this and working on it.

[itsrlymine]

Totally unrelated but, what's your ethnicity/nationality? There's literally 54 countries in Africa, this continent big asf.

Don't take this serious, but I just have an irrational annoyance from people saying "africa" like it's a country.

I'm from Mozambique, it's pretty rare to find people from African countries interested in new age spirituality. The only other African loa bloger that I know it's @konniesreality, who is from Cape Verde.

Also, how stressing is it to run a blog? Sometimes I feel like bloggers are wasting their precious time and efforts, the repetitive basic questions are beyond annoying and the hateful and rude anons don't help. How many times will they ask "can I manifest ...?" 💀, I swear to God, I just KNOW this question has been asked at least a 1000 times. AT LEAST!!

Amazing posts, by the way, I kinda like how you don’t follow any methods or techniques. At the end of the day, we only need our awareness and our abilities to choose what we want and decide that we have it.

(If you're not comfortable, you don't need to answer, these are personal questions, so I respect your privacy ♥)

Hello babe! I definitely understand you and don't like when people do that either. I just never felt like it wasn't important to specify since it doesn't have anything to do with manifesting. There is a youtuber by the name of Manifest It Finesse it and I'm pretty sure she is West African, though I don't remember which country. I'm from Nigeria. I'll check out her page.

For me, it hasn't been too stressful bc I decided it won't be lmao. I have gotten a thousand and one questions just like that and it's like omg you just want to complain fr. I manifested my blog going the way I wanted it it so it has been good aside from the very bored trolls. They don't mean shit tho. I cleared out my inbox for both reasons.

Thank you my love. I try to get people to understand that all you need is yourself and nothing else. No one else but you! Literally techniques don't matter bc you are the law itself.

[wayfayrr]

🦆 anon is ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s been a minute, life been hectic for a while 😩 but I’m hoping that starting today, I’ll get a bit of free time to peruse my favorite blogs!!! So, how have you been? Busy? Have you been drinking enough water? Stay hydrated all you thirsty hoes out there!!! 😁

Anyway! Trying to catch up on stuff I’ve missed…

Agreed, sleep is for the weak. I shall sleep when I am dead. Not even the eepy meds work anymore.

*Gasp!* an anniversary? Of your first LU fic? Congrats!

A raffle? Noice! Can’t wait to see what the winners come up with.

Few sentences prompts??? Love it!!! Number 7 plz and make it hurt if possible. I like angst.

Recently saw a YT short that gave me a new idea… it’s a different kind of “self aware” ask. What if the boys in game aren’t self aware… but your drawings of them are? I’ll link the short, don’t worry. But this creator drew their characters and did an animation of them actually being alive and interacting with them and even the other drawings. Thought it was a cool idea to share with the self aware boys being actual drawings that were drawn by reader lol! Actually… that would make reader their actual creator… the ideas are turning in my head with this one~

https://youtube.com/shorts/OcGy7QwN3Lc?si=1HpoRtt_PS7Q5BAG

It's good to see you duck!!! it's been a bit and I hope you're doing well!!! Stuff's been getting better for me, Had an interview for a job just after getting this ask and I'm waiting to hear back now.

It's really funny too cause I track my sleep and just every morning when I check now the time asleep is just gradually getting less and less lol

And yeah! It's been a little over a year since I've started creating for linked universe now, and it's been an amazing time <33 met some truly wonderful people cause of it

7 (silent fury) seems to be the most popular prompt asfvdsvgsdfgv this is actually the 3rd ask I've gotten with it (but I'm gonna write another mini one anyway, wild rather than time for this one >:D)

He knew he was a failure. The first moments of his, truly his own memories and not another life half-remembered, was being told that he failed after all. That he died when the hero was supposed to prosper. That didn't make what he was going through any easier. And wallowing in his regrets wouldn't help you feel safe again. The chain all knew your boundaries, they all knew to ask you your opinions. To make sure that you were comfortable. But villagers didn't. And wild wasn't fast enough to be your hero. He was fine not being Hyrule's, as long as he could be yours that's all he could ever long for. But he failed you. Comforting you wasn't even an option with how you'd locked yourself away in your room, away from everything while you coped. Leaving the only way to take out his burning fury to find the person who dared to lay a hand on you. He couldn't fail you again.

[Prompt list]

I've been seeing that trend too!! Its one that I really like - and I've actually been sent a couple by dms lol it's a really interesting take on the au, and it's just fun in general really. Although I'll probably stay away from the creator == being treated as a deity cause it's kinda an ick for me (it's just a trope I don't like tbh, each to their own but I won't write/read it) but them thinking they have more of a right to be closer to you? the way it could cause arguments if they met the originals? oh there is so much potential for it as an idea honestly

[paddedlittleparadise]

Hi, I’m asking different related blogs if they have any advice for this because I’m not sure what to do when the time comes and I’d like some help if thats okay?

So I recently talked to my boyfriend, who is a little, about the idea of him possibly trying diapers because I think he would look and feel adorable. We had a long discussion about it because I knew it was a hard limit for him at first but he told me he doesn’t actually know why it’s a hard limit, rather more so being a stigma he’s created in his head about trying them. I told them he wouldn’t have to use them or anything, I’d reassure him all he needed and I’d take good care of him.

Now he’s telling me he wants to try it because he knows I’d make him feel safe. However he said he’s been thinking about it a lot and he’s afraid that he’ll try it and not like it and disappoint me (there’s no way he ever could, I love him too much)

Basically what I’m trying to ask is how could I make the experience, when it happens, the most comfortable and safest? How can I make him enjoy it/let himself be looked after? How can I ease him into this? He’s also autistic so gets overwhelmed easily. I just love him so much and I want him to be comfortable and make this enjoyable for him. Also what are like… the best ones? Idk. Like what would be the comfiest for him I guess. He’s very skinny if that helps

Hey there, Anon – thanks for the thoughtful question, and so sorry it's been so long since you asked this! I wanted to give you a proper response, and life was so crazy that I'm only just now getting to it.

First off, I'm no authority on this stuff. I'm just one kinky person on the internet, so please don't take my opinions as gospel. But right at the outset, I'd say that it sounds like you're starting in a very good place. You both are communicating, and you're both aware of hard and soft limits. You're also both open to negotiating, which is a great sign of a healthy relationship – so long as you can also maintain healthy boundaries for yourselves.

It's really so sweet what you've shared about your boyfriend, and it's super relatable! Few of us want to disappoint our loved ones, and certainly when we're trying new and intimate things, it can be SO easy to feel pressure to like stuff just because we know our partner wants us to like it. I therefore think what you both will need is a bit more courage and self-assertion. Ideally, he will find the courage and the confidence to say when he dislikes something after trying it for you, since he knows that that you'll still love him regardless.

This idea is obviously something you've communicated to him verbally, but perhaps you can find other ways to show it as well by example? Maybe try watching a show he really likes – or a food, or music, or a hobby – and don't be afraid to tell him if and when you don't like it? And encourage him to do the same with you? If you can establish a relationship in which you both feel it's okay to be different in your likes and dislikes, that can make open differences in intimate affairs that much easier to communicate.

You know, for example: "Hey, I know you really like tomato soup, and that's cool! It's just really not for me. How about we have it only once a week instead of twice?" "You know, I'm so glad you love that new Taylor album! It doesn't do much for me, but I do love seeing you happy. So don't worry – I'm totally fine with listening to it on repeat now and then."

Anyway, about making a first diaper experience comfortable and enjoyable! A few thoughts:

Let him try training pants instead of full-on diapers. Goodnites come in XL sizes these days (140+ pounds); they are super cheap and easy to find at many grocery/drug stores or Amazon. In case you aren't aware, these are pull-on, thin, disposable underwear made for bedwetting teens. Because they're essentially thicker, disposable underwear and they come with an assortment of cute/cool designs printed on them, they will likely be a great way to ease into diaper play. If he's unable to fit into them, maybe check Amazon for sample packs of 2 AB/DL diapers and see if there are some with designs he might like. Pretty much any AB/DL diaper will be soft and comfy. :-)

Don't make a big deal of it. When adults are wearing something babyish, we're often embarrassed by the experience. Sometimes what we want is to be able to duck into our room – maybe at our loved one's suggestion/command – and put the thing on ourselves. Wear pants over it, maybe. And then be completely, utterly normal about it. Let life go on. Have supper. Cuddle on the couch. Watch a show. Do whatever you normally would when he's in little space. Maybe let a hand stray down there and give a little pat, complimenting him on obeying you. Tell him how cute HE is (not the diaper; it's him you love. You want to show that you're not making him into your fetish dispensing machine.). And check in casually to ask how he's doing, or if he wants to take it off. Basically, the less of a deal you make of a potentially embarrassing ordeal, the easier and less overwhelming it will likely be for him.

After a try, don't rush. Give it some time – sleep on it. Check in a day or two later, maybe. See how he feels about it. If it works for you, try again – or maybe consider putting the ball in his court and let him tell you when he'd like to try again.

Communicate your own gratitude and concern. It sounds as though your boyfriend has a strong desire to please, so giving him a sense of how much fulfillment and joy he is bringing you can be essential. Sure, it will function as positive reinforcement and make it more likely that he might want to wear again. But more importantly, it will bring him relief and joy to know that he did well, that you still love him, and that even if/when he isn't wearing something special, you love him all the same.

Again, I'm very sorry for the delayed response. I hope these few thoughts will be helpful – and best of luck to you both!

-PLP

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.