#i'm sure she's having the most fantastic day

[ohlexa]

Sending all the love to Kristina Tonteri-Young on her birthday! | January 17, 1998

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[liedownquisition]

Oh boy. You know, I really love how you've cut some of those panels out. Here's a little more context on Oliver very clearly laying a solid chunk of what's wrong with Jason at Bruce's feet:

And you know what, you're right! No one's ever obligated to forgive everyone or anyone ever! But also guess what! You're also ignoring like... a lot of stuff actually. You think the batarang is the only thing people have an issue with.... as if it exists in a vacuum as the only thing Bruce has ever done wrong to Jason ever? Because most people aren't so much mad over a single incident as we are over it happening again and again and again.

RHATO Rebirth v2 #25

Batman and Robin uhhh Issue 6 I think? Going off the omnibus, sorry

Batman #138* *yes I'm aware that Bruce is being influenced by "Zur-En-Arr" in this, but honestly? I've always felt that this & the Batman & Robin one were some of the more in-character examples of Bruce's flaws manifesting in abusive ways

Or maybe some of these are too recent. Let's talk my personal favorite little beef that I like to contrast with Ollie:

Batman #424-425 The Diplomat's Son & Consequences

Ollie, on the other hand, when his charge commits a murder that Ollie thought could be prevented:

Now there's something to be said for how the writers for these stories had very different opinions of the sidekicks that were responsible, Starlin, for example, fucking hated Jason (Well, Robin in general) and wanted him dead, and it's deliberately set up to be a question of whether or not Jason actually did. Regardless, Bruce pretty cleanly absolves himself of any wrongdoing in his upbringing of Jason, whereas Ollie takes responsibility for Mia being in the position that she even could/would make that kind of call. And at this point, Oliver had Mia with him for a lot less time than Bruce had had Jason.

If it was Just the batarang, then, frankly, I think it's be a lot less controversial. This isn't even everything OR the worst panels from those incidents!!! I'm just cherrypicking, just like you were. And you know what, let me add this:

According to Bruce, Ollie's a pretty forgiving guy, it looks like. And if we're taking more Rebirth into account, Oliver was pretty chill about Cheshire hanging out with his family, and she's definitely caused her fair share of problems for the family and world at large on scales Jason has yet to even touch*, regardless of if she's Lian's mom. *some of Jade's crimes are dubiously canon, but with the reality mashing from Convergence in a way all of it is.

Ollie is a lot of hot air. I love the man, and he'll rip anyone and everyone a new one at the drop of a hat for any godsdamned reason. Pretty sure he's called Bruce and Barry and Hal all fascists before, so he has no hesitation in saying the absolute worst about people while... still having a relatively decent relationship with them in the long run, actually. Hal even used to be a villain for a while and Oliver was forced to kill him and now they're buds again. An alternate version of Hal that is STILL that villain continues to torment Oliver and his family.

Would Jason need to actually work to earn forgiveness from the Arrows? Probably. But he's still friends with Roy now (yes, CURRENTLY. AS HE HAS BEEN FOR OVER A DECADE he hasn't even been features in much w/ Roy lately but it has been REFERENCED), and even if it was small that olive branch of helping Roy and Lian reunite (and their general friendship, actually) isn't something that Ollie would just brush off, just as he wouldn't just brush off the events of Seeing Red.

But, in the grand scheme of things, kidnapping her, sending him on a wild goose chase across town, "having a talk" (mia's words) then letting her leave unharmed, and blowing up a building behind her is honestly small potatoes in comparison to the Repeated incidents of textbook abusive relationships that goes on between Bruce and Jason. (And I cannot overemphasize how little Mia was injured by this incident.)

Of course Olie was talking shit about Jason in the interim, Red Hood is incredibly dangerous, and he's scared for her safety. You can SEE how stumped he is by her coming out of this completely unharmed. Plus! This is hot on the heels of her return after the Dr Light Incident, and Ollie has every right to be scared out of his fucking mind.

But when it comes down to it, Mia Was Not Harmed. I will not stop saying that. Because in the world of villains and superheroes and red Hood doing significantly worse shit to other characters, this is NOTHING. Even actually within Arrow comics???? This WAS NOTHING.

And oh my god "He did the same thing Joker did" okay so where do I start with this

a) that was the point, obviously.

b) he didn't, actually.

c) that was the worst description of both incidents I've ever read in my entire life. Joker didn't "take a kid from his father and torture him and make him doubt his place in his family" unless you're talking about the fucking Arkham 'verse!

c2) actually let's break down that description: "took a kid from their father figure" Joker didn't take Jason, he was sold out by his mom. "Beat them up" understatement, but go off. "Tortured them mentally about their place in their family" not really. Joker just beat him nearly to death laughing for the most part, Jason's doubts about it came after he came back to life and saw news that Joker was still alive.

d) hmmm I wonder who said it was just Jason messing with Bruce...

Hm. Yeah. Bruce is definitely the most reliable source for Jason's intentions. I mean, was it generally to spite Bruce? Probably, yeah. But Jason's very good at multitasking and layering his intentions.

e) once again, Mia was not harmed. Jason spent most of their sparring match on the defensive, And only hit Her, physically, like, four times? and all of them in retaliation to her getting in close and hitting him first*? (And, trust me, if Jason can pull the hypercompetent bullshit that is "Seemingly shooting wildly but managing to hit nothing but THE STRING OF MIA'S BOW while also accounting for how she'd dodge" he could do sooooo much worse.) Notably, he briefly had her pinned to the floor with his hands around her throat... and then let up just after he held it long enough to make his point *Note: this is not a justification, she had every reason to fight back with everything she had and what Jason does is very fucked up on like...a normalscale. But it's worth noting he was Very Visibly and outright explicitly "teaching" her throughout it and it's soooo much less than any other villain has done to her.

This doesn't read to me "Making her doubt her place in her family" so much as "Emphasizing their similarities" this is the kind of speech the villain gives when he's trying to recruit the hero. (something which, hilariously, he mocked the idea of in UTH) But you know, all interpretations of canon are valid, although...

Funny enough, this also is very much not what Joker Did, actually. I mean, I don't recall Joker letting Jason have ANY agency at all, really. Just started breaking bones.

Now, I didn't post all of them because if I kept going it'd just be the whole comic, but yeah he does very much air out his daddy issues and compare them to her relationship with Ollie. It's clear that while he does know a lot about Mia... he also doesn't know much about Ollie. At least, not personality wise. Not how much genuinely better he is at this whole parenting gig.

This is so, so much easier to forgive, conceptually, than everything that goes on in the Batfam both from and to Jason and from and to OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BATFAM without involving Jason at all!!! (Birthdays, amirite?)

And, honestly, I'm probably seeing a lot of the posts that you are, and the ones making the Jason & Ollie bonding posts? Aren't really the same ones going on about the Batarang Incident. We've moved on to the rest of the, gestures above, Patterns of Abuse. If we discuss anything past post-crisis at all. (Speaking of post crisis, I actually remember Jason doing a pretty big solid for one of Oliver's close friends... hmmmmmm. Oh, yeah, he helped out when Black Lightning was framed for murder by Slade so good that even HE thought he did it! Granted, that was pre-Mia. So he's not going to stop being wary, but it's not like Jason hasn't done good things that affected people close to Ollie either.)

And if Jason's emotions aren't an excuse, than, well, Bruce's aren't really an excuse either, are they?

Jason's not even the only one who gets abusive treatment from Bruce. And regardless of your personal interpretations of whether or not it's a valid Batman characterization, after multiple writers have written this kind of thing across multiple continuities, there comes a point when you have to accept that this is a genuine flaw that Bruce carries and find a way to reconcile it with everything else.

And if we're going off of canon-gospel, Jason's own behavior has steadily trended towards more and more fangless, more palatable, in a way that given exposure Oliver would probably tolerate, considering all the others that he tends to tolerate. He still seems to regard the Batclan in general as a dumpster fire, "None of my kids would take a shot at me" he says, completely correct, while Batman's kids wouldn't even hesitate. He rolled up with unsolicited advice about Batman's relationships multiple times, all correct, and gotten shot down or ignored as if his significantly fewer incidents of being a shitty parent that he's very self-aware about somehow make him unqualified to speak at all!

Sometimes the reason that people are writing this, is because they like Ollie more than Bruce, because he knows how to actually apologize and actually do better. And trying to ignore canon in favor of making "good dad" Bruce stories, can wear you down when you just keep seeing Bruce depicted worse and worse and worse, and so maybe you want to start seeing the people trapped in Bruce's vortex move away from that.

And among those in that vortex, Jason has it the worst. Like, this isn't a competition. Some of the shitty stuff that Bruce does to him could be argued to be just responses to what he does himself (victim-blamey, but you know what let's pretend it makes things okay) like uth, or RHATOv2#25 But... Batman & Robin? "Oh Bruce was upset about Damian."

What was it you said? Oh, that's right: "Your feelings being valid don't excuse the harm you do, guys."

Gotham War? I'm sure you'll make excuses for Bruce there. I mean, maybe implementing it was Zur, but, frankly, that "Failsafe"? That has "Bruce genuinely thought this" written all over it. Hypocrite. Considering what his response was to the last time someone messed with his mind.

Oliver... kind of is the canon version of fanon's "good dad Bruce" tbh. And sometimes people make that connection, see those parallels, and want to play with that. It's just a what if.

You know that thing about tragedies about how if anything happened any differently it could have been prevented, that someone could have been saved? Ollie fucks up, but, fundamentally, if Ollie had been in Bruce's position, he would have saved Jason, not by doing the impossible of making it there in time, but by putting Jason first and having healthy communication lmao. Because Bruce very explicitly didn't! He didn't want to talk about it because he was scared of the truth! Or, he was scared of what he believed to be the truth, which would be that Jason had killed. And that it wasn't Bruce's fault. Because it's never Bruce's fault if he failed to raise Jason in that way that took that instinct out. It's not his responsibility to have realized, as the adult in the situation, that Jason maybe shouldn't have been exposed to so much rape and murder at an impressionable age. It's not his responsibility to keep better track of his barely teenaged son who's going through severe trauma right in front of him because they failed to enact justice on someone.

And Bruce had a lot to say about what he thought about Jason that varied and, honestly, rang more as projecting his own issues onto Jason than matching up what was actually happening on the page. Better meta-writers than I have discussed how rarely we get Jason's POV in these situations, that we're TOLD a lot about Jason by everyone else who has an agenda to frame Jason in a certain way.

If you hate Jason Todd, or hate jayroy, then block the damn tags & add it to a content filter bcs generally the latter is always marked. if it's someone on your dash reblogging them and it's not tagged/hiding it then ask them to tag it so you can filter it or stop following them idc. Don't pretend your cherry picking of canon and willful out-of-context misinterpretations is any better than anyone else's.

I have seen many posts and fanfics who are going "Oliver works with Jason to annoy Bruce!", "Oliver protecting Jason from Bruce!", "Oliver deciding to annoy Bruce by being like a father figure to Jason!", "Oliver being so happy for Roy and Jason being together!", and etc, but in canon, Oliver HATES his guts.

Here is a compilation of Oliver thinking or talking about Jason from Seeing Red, which is the first Red Hood's story after Under The Red Hood, and the one time Oliver and Jason interracted in canon (if I'm not mistaken, they never did since):

For the last one, he is talking to Bruce and Jason is one of the "every damned manner of sociopathic fruit fly".

And like, Oliver and the Arrowfam are 100% justified in their dislike or hate. He literally pulled the same shit Joker did on them: took a teenager away from her father figure, beat her up, torture her mentally about her place in her new family and her usefulness, make her and her guardian think he was going to kill her, explode the building she was in in front of her father figure to make him believe he was too late... And all of that to get to Batman. He doesn't give a shit about Oliver or Mia, it's about Batman, it's about Bruce. Just like when the Joker killed him, it wasn't about him, it was about Batman.

And it doesn't matter that Jason changed, because others aren't obligated to forgive someone because they redeemed themselves. I do not believe that Oliver is fine with Jason, he is probably not very happy he hangs around Roy, and does NOT want him near Mia ever again, and certainly not his granddaughter, Liam. That's the man that kidnapped his daughter because he was mad at his own father, nope. He knows how it is to be annoyed with the Bat, and it doesn't justify this.

I can hear y'all seeing disregarding canon is fine, and yes, sure. But also, folks, you are such hypocrites if you want to keep in that Bruce threw a batarang at Jason's neck, and erase how it was an accident ("Batman doesn't make mistakes!" Firstly, he does, canonically, make huge mistakes sometimes. Secondly, the man was an emotional wreck, his son had come back to life and had been killing people and his other son, Dick, was maybe dead because his city just exploded. He is human, not a machine! Thirdly, it is simply fucking stupid for a character who is against killing to willingly inflict such a mortal wound.), but Jason being a huge asshole to others is either erased or excusable (your feelings being valid don't excuse the harm you do, guys). Talk about favoritism.

[hemmingsleclerc]

My Husband ┃CS55

summary: Y/N attends her husband's home race but didn't expect to find the "popular" girl of her high school back in the day.

The sun was seen over the Barcelona-Catalunya Circuit while the Spanish Grand Prix was taking place. Y/N, dressed in an elegant yet casual dress that perfectly combined glamor and comfort, strolled through the paddock with an air of confidence. Her husband, Carlos, was focused on preparations for the next race, leaving her free to immerse herself in the exciting atmosphere.

As she toured the different garages and hospitality areas, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of nostalgia. The roar of the engines brought back memories of her teenager's years when she would never have imagined being there in the paddock. Yet here she was, the wife of one of the sport's most talented drivers.

The familiar murmur of voices interrupted her thoughts and she turned to see a group of people approaching her. Among them was a face from her past: a girl named Carla, who was once the queen bee of her high school. Carla's eyes widened in false surprise when she saw Y/N there.

"Well, well, if it's not little Y/N," Carla sneered, her tone full of mockery. "What brings you to the Spanish Grand Prix? Trying to catch a glimpse of the rich and famous?"

Y/N smiled, refusing to let Carla's comments get to her. "Oh, you know, I've always been an F1 fan. I thought I'd come and support my husband."

''Husband?, so after all you did get a boyfriend?, what a wonderful surprise!''

''Yes, yes I did Carla'' Y/N responded, avoiding the urge to roll her eyes.

Carla smiled and looked at her boyfriend, who was next to her. "Well, we're here because my boyfriend is a big fan. You probably know him, he was with us at school! In fact, today he met all the drivers. It's a dream come true for him."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, recognizing the familiar pattern of Carla trying to outdo her in any situation. "That's fantastic for him. I'm sure meeting the drivers was an unforgettable experience."

''So, is this your first race?''

''In fact no, I have attended several grand prix, although it's probably your first time, so enjoy it Carla!'' And just as she finished saying those words she turned around and walked away from that irritating situation.

The race came to life and Y/N continued to enjoy the event, doing her best to ignore the presence of her ''wonderful'' former high school classmates.

As the checkered flag waved, signaling the end of the race, Y/N once again found herself in the path of Carla and her boyfriend.

"Well, well, you again” Carla said with a forced smile. "Did you have fun watching the race, sweetie?"

Y/N sighed inwardly but maintained her composure. "Yes, it was thrilling. Excuse me, I need to find Carlos."

As she tried to walk away, Carla's boyfriend, Y/N's old crush from high school, stepped forward, trying to strike up a conversation with her. Y/N felt a wave of discomfort but remained polite. All she wanted to do was go to her husband and congratulate him on his incredible podium finish in the race.

Suddenly, the crowd around them buzzed with excitement as Carlos Sainz approached, his red racing suit adorned with sponsor logos. Carla and her boyfriend exchanged surprised glances.

"Carlos Sainz!" Carla exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Y/N couldn't help but smile triumphantly. "Oh, I didn't mention it before? He's Carlos, my husband, sweetie."

Carlos, oblivious to the tension, politely greeted Carla and her boyfriend. When they noticed, Carla's forced smile faltered and Y/N took the opportunity to gracefully exit the conversation. She walked away from her, leaving behind a speechless Carla and a bewildered old lover.

''Thank God you showed up, I couldn't stand them for another minute''

''You okey mi amor?''

''I'll be better after the celebration for your great podium, cariño''

With their heads held high, Y/N and Carlos walked out holding hands, along with the shiny trophy, ready to have a great night.

[foxesscramble]

(Some of) the Foxes doing the WIRED Autocomplete Interview

Question: What is Neil Josten's real name

NJ: Neil Josten.

Question: What is Neil Josten exy position

NJ: I'm a starting striker.

Question: What is Neil Josten family tree

NJ: Small.

Question: Neil Josten’s sassiest moments compilation

NJ: That's not a question. Andrew has a lot of those videos saved on TikTok.

Question: Neil Josten best plays

NJ: I think you mean plays best but yes.

Question: What is Kevin Day's dominant hand

KD: I used to be left-handed but now I’m right-handed. A bit ambidextrous but mostly right for right now.

Question: Kevin Day ski accident

KD: Boring, next.

Question: Kevin Day and Theo Muldani

KD: Yes.

Question: What happened to Kevin Day’s hand

KD: It got smashed.

Question: What happened between Kevin Day Neil Josten Jean Moreau

KD: A lot, but that will be staying between the three of us.

Question: Who is Matt Boyd dating

MB: Only the most beautiful powerful goddess of a woman, Dan Wilds. Love of my life. Fantastic woman.

Question: What team does Matt Boyd play for

MB: Right now I am in the middle of a transfer which is public knowledge so I cannot actually answer that but I can say I am trying out for the US Court in the future.

Question: Matt Boyd being in love with Neil Josten for 7 minutes and 23 seconds

MB: This is so real. Not a question but I feel like I’m probably the reason it’s so high on the list. I’ve reposted the video on my socials and it’s also got its own bookmarked tab on my computer. We’re soulmates. Dan agrees. I’m sure Andrew will come around to accepting the fact sometime soon. I just love him. He’s so cute, just like a kitten.

Question: What are Matt Boyd’s exy stats

MB: You’ll have to ask Kevin. I should probably know them but you've asked me and now I can't think.

Question: Who is Matt Boyd’s best friend

MB: Without a doubt, Neil Josten. I would say Dan but she’s the love of my life and we share custody of Neil so it’s definitely him.

Pt. 2 》 Renee Walker, Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick

Pt. 3 》 Allison Reynolds, Dan Wilds, Aaron Minyard

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Fix it yourself

James Potter x Bsf!Slytherin!Reader - Sirius Black x BrothersBsf!Slytherin!Reader (endgame)

Best Friend by Rex Orange County

Masterlist

Wc- 12011

Summary: Falling in love with James Potter was a whirlwind affair full of lies and heartbreak. Everything comes to a head when he asks you to fake date someone so Lily will give him a chance.

Cw; Cussing, Manipulation, James is such an arse (I love him don't come for me), self indulgent, themes of abuse and abandonment, sexual content and scenes, Jealous James being rude, Protective Sirius, Substance use, Reader had her things destroyed, dad gets sick, nudity, {let me know if I forgot anything!}

Taglist- @otterlockholmes

A/N: Shout out to @our-sweet-t-universe, this would not of been a smidge of happy in this fic if it wasn't for you. Next post will be part two to zombies and then two requests!

An endless cycle of churning.

That was what your dad called it. You and James’s push and pull of affections to hatred.

When you were younger, you could never imagine a life without James Fleamont Potter. He was your favorite person since you could remember names. Your father was an apothecary, business partners turned close friends with Fleamont Potter, or as you called him since you could speak, “Uncle Flea.”

Your father traveled for his work, always researching better ingredients and replacements, selling his remade patents of popular potions back to the creators in exchange to sell their potions and the ingredients. Your father was a clever businessman, a proud Slytherin in his school years. Fleamont would joke, every Potter had their Slytherin. Let that be romantic, as his mother and father, or platonic like him and your father.

James was still ever the dramatic, determined to believe he would never need his Slytherin, he didn't want a Slytherin. He had you, that was all he needed.

Oblivious and fiesty you would agree with anything he said to keep the ever confident boy talking. His voice was your favorite part of James Potter, which worked wonders with your ever quiet disposition.

“I don't need a Slytherin! I have {Y/n}!” James would fuss when the teasing began. “She's cooler then any green robe!”

“Yeah! I'm cooler than any green robe!” You would snap out of whatever day dream you were having as you played with your fathers miniature carvings he would make you in his travels. He always brought you one back, with a moving photo of him in some fantastical place posing with them.

Your father would smile knowingly at Fleamont, as Euphemia called you into the kitchen to help set the table, as was a part of your nightly routine. James pouted after you as he was left alone with the dads.

While your father traveled more, you spent more time with the Potters. Back then, you were always so sad about it, watching the window and waiting longingly for your father to return.

Around your older years, seven to eight, you finally learned to appreciate what they did for you. It's not that you ever showed you were ungrateful, your father had just always been your favorite person. Being away from him felt so much longer than it was.

You spent most of your time running around the large property and making it your own with James. You would carve path marks into trees and divide your territory. You would wage war and swim in the creek.

One summer, Fleamont even helped you build a treehouse. A treehouse you guys never used after that after that, outside of a hiding place for things you most certainly shouldn't have. That, and the ever growing collection of your father’s wood carvings, all on top of a silver padlock box with your father’s photos.

“These are for you and James to play with.”

He always made sure you knew that. Even if James was never particularly fond of them, he loved the stories your father returned with about them. So fond, in fact, that he kept a particular carving of a dragon when your dad told you both about the time he was attacked by one. Painted it and all, the only figurine not in the treehouse, Grandos.

The first time James exited your life was your ninth birthday. You were at the Potters again over the summer, when your aunt suddenly came to pick you up in the middle of a cold rainy night. Suddenly you were awoken from your fort on the couch with James, both of you snuggled under a mountain of blankets. Euphemia continued to come back and tuck you in.

It was quick and the adults seemed panicked. When you made it home you found your father bedridden, with dragonpox.

You spent that entire summer into the fall spending time with him. Your auntie gifted you a muggle toy, a two way radio. She set one up to always be on for your father. You would walk around the house with yours, turning it on to say something to your father just to listen to him cough and wheeze, the only sign he was still breathing.

James would send you letters but you never got to reading them. Just staying home and wandering the house. Your young mind finding paintings your father had hung himself to tell him about, reminding him what it was like in the kitchen, the silliest things to remind your father you were still there.

Everyday. Everynight.

Eventually, your father got better, and he summoned the Potters to Diagon Alley for a bite to eat. It was the first time you had seen James in three months. For two eight year olds, that seemed like forever ago.

James pouted through dinner, then the walk around the park. Every attempt to talk to him was met with loud sniffling and sobs for you to leave him alone. The Potter parents would wince at the interactions, eventually ending up with two blubbering children, both crying because they wanted to be friends again.

“You ignored me!” James shouted, making a scene.

“I was spending time with my da!” You would fuss back, fists clenched and your foot stamping.

“I thought you hated me!” He blubbered back and you began to sob louder. “I-I woke up and you were gone!”

“Why are you crying so hard, Niffler?” Your father would coo, not the least bit bothered by the prying eyes around the public place.

“Because Jamie thinks I hate him!” You shouted out, turning to your father and dragging your fists over your swollen eyes.

“Do you hate little Jamie?” He pushed and James sobbed louder at the question.

“No! I love Jamie!” You sobbed out and James gave a louder wail.

“I love you too!”

“Then forgive me!”

“Okay!”

Like that, you were once again spending every waking moment with the chocolate haired boy. That summer your father was cleared to work, and he never turned down the chance.

You went back to the Potters and spent the time you had with James like you never stopped being friends. Running through the forest, jumping in the creek, and now, James found a passion for listening to you read before bed.

When you both got your Hogwarts letters, you both demanded to be the first to get your wands. So, before August even came, you and James shared the most special moments of your childhood. Getting your wand from Olivander and getting your very own owl from Eeylops.

James ended up with a snowy owl he named Snow. You thought it was the most clever thing in the world, his parents just smiled knowingly at each other. You got a barn owl you named an equally clever name. Barn.

Thinking back on it, they should have never let you leave that store with that poor owl.

You gave James a lot of your favorite memories to cherish. He kept them the second time you stopped talking.

That was, when you both made it to Hogwarts. You walked into the grand hall holding hands, laughing about some stupid joke he made that was certainly not worth a laugh. You loved to feed his ego, his mother would say. You would just agree.

“His ego is never starved.” She would smirk and you would simply shrug with a cheeky grin.

“But it could always eat.”

You left the grand hall in tears and a green robe. He was already far ahead of you, in his own red robes, acting as if those eleven years of friendship were nothing to him. Much to your dismay, you didn't have your father to come save you this time, tell you his wise words and share his bit of wisdom for you to find your way through the pain.

There was no comfort found in the snakes den. Your dorm was shared with girls who seemed to have no other concerns then your blood status. You were a pureblood, of course, but their questions only caused you further distress. That night you cried silently into your pillow.

That night, and the next, and the next.

Eventually, you learned to cope to the cold dungeons. You became calm and emotionless, like the others. Learning to adapt to your surroundings.

James’s mutters of who you really were hurt more then you could ever imagine. You loved James Potter before you knew what love was. You were sure whatever yearning was in your chest went both ways. You guess you were wrong.

He made new friends, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. He wanted nothing to do with you.

So, you made friends as well. Cruel ones but ones who would protect you. Avery, Mulciber. Severus Snape was the only one you stayed consistently close to. You disliked Lily Evans, for no reason other than the fact she was everything you wanted to be. Gryffindor, smart, pretty, and had James’s attention. You hated watching him outgrow you, and Severus didn't particularly like that you didn't like Lily, but he hated James Potter so you both remained in an isolated boat of similarity.

As the year went on you grew to hate your colors more then anything. You learned that no matter what had happened, Slytherin was at fault. No matter your justification, you were wrong. Keeping your head down and remaining quiet was the safest you'd have it.

When the year came to an end, you went home. You told your father of the more recent events and he was mortified. You found solas in his arms as you always did. Being home was like a time out, protection from everything else around you. You were alone and happy. Safe and as far away from James Potter as possible.

But that made the yearning worse.

Your father tried to convince you to write him a letter for closure, but you could never pick up a quill. You don't want to know the vile things he thought of you.

Much to your surprise, however, your father called you down a week into your summer break. At the door, none other then James Potter. He was sniffling, clenching the dragon statue in his hands and rubbing his eyes. Your father left you two be, and you welcomed him in.

Of course you did.

It was your Jamie.

The second he entered he told you about how woes, how his concerns for Sirius, his dear friend, his best friend, made him appreciate what he had a bit more. It also forced him to realize, he was doing the same to you. The isolation over a house was never fair. He felt like a right arse.

“So you don't hate me?” You sniffled.

James shook his head vigorously. “No, no, I'm sorry, {Y/N}.” He sobbed and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

He held you back tight, and nuzzled his nose into your cheek. “Forgive me?”

“Okay.” Your voice cracked.

You shouldn't have forgiven him, because it became a pattern. The summer you were back to as thick as thieves, you had never seen Mrs. Potter more relived then when you returned to their home.

But when school started again, he went back to practically no contact. It was your James, though. You needed him.

Over the years you went from best friends over the summer to semi strangers in the halls. Everytime he'd come to your door with a bright smile and take you to his house. Even your fathers relationship with Fleamont began to grew strained because of the behavior. You were so hurt, all the time, but James would fix it.

James would know what to say and when to say it. James, never having a malicious bone in his body, didn't seem to understand what he was doing to you. You didn't know either.

By the time year three rolled around, the four of them seemed to tamper down their hatred for Slytherins, focusing purely on the ones they deemed evil. Even letting you into their groups on occasion. You clung to what little James would give you everytime. You ignored your jealousy of Sirius and James' closeness. You ignored Remus’s pitiful looks and Peter's tactless comments.

However, you had began to grow into yourself a bit more over the school year. You had more time to yourself, more time away from James. You met a few new people, one being a girl named Pandora.

She observed you every time you were with James, would utter small comments here and there about what she found in the blandest monotone. It was tough love she didn't even intend. You quickly realized that the friendship you shared with James went from two friends who would rather die then be apart, to two people.

You were just people.

~~~~

That summer, when James came over to retrieve you, you made that clear.

“Well, it was nice seeing you, Potter.” You started with a soft smile in your doorway. He flinched at the formal name.

“What? You're not coming home?” He asked in a low heartbroken whisper. “My mum wants to see you.”

“I am home. I'll ask da if he plans to have you over for dinner.” You placate and look back to the proud but sympathetic look on your dads face from where he hid behind the door. As always, right there. “I'll see you later?”

“But- I- we don't get to hang out over the school year, I just figured-”

“Thank you again for the invite. Maybe some other time.”

When fourth year comes around you and James remain friendly in the halls. It was like the entire lives you had led before Hogwarts and over the summers were just secrets between the two of you now.

You spent more time with Severus, Dorcas, Pandora, Barty, and Regulus. That made Sirius oddly formal and kind to you as well, you expected the opposite.

It led to a small bit of bonding between the two of you, he would ask you about updates on Regulus and thank you like mad for you looking after the younger boy.

James didn't like how close you two were becoming outside of him. Everyday, you would meet Sirius outside of the library and he would walk you to the dungeons while you talked about his brother and the state of his mind, how he viewed what was happening in the household.

Your conversations would slowly trickle into your day to day life and Sirius would tell you of his. James noticed when Sirius began to get to the dorms later and later.

James would find it in himself to pester, if he wasn't so wrapped around Lily Evans’ finger. You knew it was unfair. You knew from the stories from Pandora, that if you just got to know her, you'd adore her. She was funny, brilliant, brave, kind, and she was enough woman to have James Potter, Severus Snape, and after a small listless confession, Pandora of all people in love.

You hated her, however. You couldn't bring yourself to like someone you wanted to be in the shoes of so badly.

~~~~

Over the summer, you learned Sirius Black had gone to live with the Potters after a particularly rough patch with his parents. With a quick letter to Regulus to gauge his view on the situation, you decided to check on eldest Black. You weren't insanely close with James anymore, but you still invited yourself over.

When the door opened after your knock you were yanked into a bone crushing hug by Fleamont, followed by Euphemia. They welcomed you in with open arms, like they always did. You greeted James with nothing more than a kind smile and walked right past him to go check on Sirius.

James stood in the middle of the hall, confused by your lack of enthusiasm to see him. Knowing the second you made it to the stairs, you were not here for him. A bitter feeling filled his chest.

You didn't know you were breaking the dumb boy's heart. He didn't know it either, but the look his mother gave him when you hurried up the steps said it all.

James had missed you. He had missed you more than life itself. He spent his summers moping in the treehouse you both never went in, fiddling with the things you never should have had. He felt like he was missing a part of himself every time you learned to put your self preservation above his desperate need for you.

But things don't work out perfectly, something the ever spoiled James Potter didn't understand.

He snapped out of his little daze and ran upstairs after you.

You were sitting on the bed in the spare room, hip to hip with the pouty and tired Sirius. He seemed to be rambling on some flirty nonsense that had James growing a bit red.

“You know bird,” Sirius started and you scoffed.

“Don't call me bird.” You reprimanded and he gave you a cheeky smile, his swollen eye just adding to his sloppy charm.

“Birdette?” He offered.

“I'm going home. May your tea be too hot to drink and too cold when you return to it.” You mused and moved to stand before Black grabbed your wrist and nudged you down.

“Cruel witch!” He shouted and you put your hand on his chest, both laughing like fools. James' expression turned tart. You used to laugh with him like that. When you both settled you brush some hair from his face to behind his ear. His lochs clung to his face through the sweat.

“Are you sure you're alright?” You hummed and he nodded, pressing his burning and trembling temple to your cold hand and you thinned your lips.

“Fever has gone down. Mum will be pleased.” You hummed and Sirius gave you a confused look before it clicked to him who you were talking about. You knew her since before you could walk, of course you would consider her your mother. He spotted James in the doorway and noticed the small smile on the teens face when you spoke familiar of his mother.

Sirius knew, how couldn't he? Since year one the only person James seemed to talk about was you. Even when he was pretending to hate you, it was always about you. He could see the way you looked at James too, it was so painfully obvious. Even after all the years of borderline manipulation, something Sirius would grow bitter of if he thought too long about it.

“I should head home.” You hummed and grabbed the discarded rag on the nightstand to clean off some sweat around Sirius’s cheek and neck, doting on your friend much like you did for James.

“No!”

“No, please!”

Both boys shouted together. You jumped and turned to face James, not noticing he had been watching the entire interaction.

You bit your cheek and fiddled with the rag for a moment before you sighed. It was hard enough to say no to James, but a sick Sirius?

You caved.

You spent the summer at the Potter’s again, something your father was cautious of. You were older now, and so was James, you just managed to escape the ‘safe sex’ talk when you went back with James to gather spare clothes, the only thing left at James was from before puberty.

It made you a bit aware that James had grown up. He had always been taller than you, but now he was broader, more defined. Merlin, the boy you grew up with was knee weakening.

The summer was amazing. It was a delight, being around both of them so casually.

Being older now, your fun consisted of much more mature activities. They started innocent, like taking walks around the property where you and James reminisced, sharing your favorite memories of the place with Sirius. Your afternoons baking with Euphemia now shared with the boys who didn't seem to have anything better to waste their time on. Even swimming in the creek like kids.

But you were older now. Afternoon swimming turned into late night skinny dipping. Walks along the trail turned into hiding away in your tree fort, hardly big enough for all three of you and the things you hid away. Smoking Mallowsweet and trying to pretend you weren't high at the dinner table. Not that either parent seemed to mind, just happy you were doing it in a safe environment. They let you three believe you were sneaky however, knowing the thrill is the fun part.

A few days out from going back to school you and the two boys were sitting in the fort again. You took a drag from the messy blunt and passed it to Sirius. You took notice of how he watched the smoke leave your lips. You sent him a playful wink and he wet his lips.

You both turned back to James as he let out a low groan. The attention whore he was not liking how you two continued to share moments he was not apart of.

“What is it, Jamie?” You pushed and he ran his fingers through his hair. “I got word from Evans. Said she would stop reading my letters. Says she thinks I'm in love with someone already.” He huffed.

You rolled your eyes and looked at Sirius who put his hands up to show he would handle it. “Come on mate, she clearly doesn't want ya’ move on.”

You almost face palmed at how Sirius tried to handle it. You cut in when James gave a louder groan. “I know it's not what you want to hear, but some girls just.. aren't going to cave the more you bother them, Jamie.”

“I just don't get it! I'm charming, I'm funny, I'm bloody hot.”

You rolled your eyes hard and made eye contact with a smirking Sirius. “You know he gets this from you, right?”

He chuckled and you slowly smiled at his look. James seemed to grow even more upset when your attention was on Sirius and not him.

“Come off it, mate.” Sirius laughed. “She hasn’t even seen you date one person at that school.”

“That is true. I don't think I would date someone if I didn't have an idea of what it was like.” You remarked airily, rapping your knuckles against your chin.

“So.. date someone to show Lily I'm dateable?” James concluded and you rubbed your temple.

“Or, and just throwing this out there, date someone who wants you?” You scoffed and James rolled his eyes with a mutter. Something along the lines of no one he wants, wants him.

You paused your rubbing before Sirius quickly cleared his throat. “You can't just date someone to impress someone else.” You cut in. “That's incredibly cruel.”

“Well-”

“Sirius, as someone who has not once had a serious girlfriend-”

“I am Sirius. All my girlfriends are Sirius girlfriends-”

You threw a book at him and he blocked it with his forearms, laughing as you huffed.

“But ser- genuinely.” You mused. “Don't go breaking anyone's heart to get her attention.”

“Well, it won't hurt anyone if I.. fake date someone?” He offered and you gave him a confused look. He slowly smiled, a smile that surely meant a bad idea.

“Jamie-”

“Hear me out! Hear me out!” He mused and sat up straighter. “One of you, date me, just for a few months! I can show her how good of a boyfriend I really am!”

You looked at Sirius with the most bewildered and offended look.

“I will not.” Sirius mused and finally put the blunt down. “Love you, but I would rather lick my own boot.”

James scoffed and looked at you hopefully. You bit your lip and thought about it for a moment, you were caving, you knew you were.

How bad could it be? Getting a slice of what you wanted more than anything. James’s full attention. Before you could answer, you heard Sirius mutter your name.

It was so soft, it was so gentle, like if he said it too loud you'd run. You looked over to him, and he gave you a look you couldn't quite decipher. Though, the implication was clear. Don’t.

You sighed through your nose and leaned your head back. Trying to sober yourself up before you continue this conversation. James wiggled his way over to you, putting his arm over your shoulder. “Come on, {Y/N}.” He whined and you thinned your lips as you stared into his big brown eyes. You could melt into them.

Your eyes, not of your own accord, flicked to Sirius and he was still staring at you. Then you realized what the look was, caution. You bit your bottom lip and didn't notice James glaring heavily at Sirius. As if warning him. Sirius's eyes never left yours.

“... Sorry Jamie.” You muttered and he huffed, pulling away from you sharply. You pouted and slowly hugged your knees. Far more valuable with your mind warped by the drugs influence.

James waved his hand dismissively and you looked down at your feet. You watched as a pair of Doc Martens slipped into view on either side of your ankles. You looked up at the owners. You had never seen such a proud look on Sirius’s face. Well, safe for when you told him of Regulus’s new found defiance. He held the smuggest smile and you felt your heart throb. Approval.

“I don't get it, come on {Y/N}-”

“Who does she think you love anyway, James?” Sirius huffed, taking your friend’s attention from you. You sent him an appreciative look.

“She thinks I'm in love with {Y/N}.” He scoffed and your breath hitched a bit. “I mean, it doesn't help that we haven't dated anyone. I figured that if me and {Y/N} dated and broke up she would see how crazy she is.”

You purse your lips at that. Yeah. Crazy. Why would James Potter ever love you?

“Oh!” James exclaimed and sat up, “What if you got a boyfriend?” James pried and you arched an eyebrow at him. “Or, you know, girlfriend.”

You scoffed. As if that was the issue!

“James, I am not going to date someone just to leave them so you can get with Lily.” You crossed your arms over yourself now, and James groaned. “Come on, please? I mean, you can tell them it's fake! I mean, I'm sure even Sirius would be willing-”

“Nope.” Sirius popped his lips and you looked up at him with a startled surprise. You couldn't help but melt at how he winked at you, nudging your ankles with his feet. “I'm not going to tarnish our little dragon’s reputation, here.”

You rolled your eyes playfully as James’s groans faded out. You looked up as a bell began to ring, signaling it was time to come inside for dinner. James got up and hurried out of the tree, Sirius was next, sending you a look as he climbed down, curious. You simply smiled at him and followed after, knowing it would reassure him.

You thought James had dropped it, but as you set the table and gathered drinks for everyone, the boys at the table began to idly talk.

“Anything interesting happened today?” Fleamont asked you as you set his coffee down by his hand, kissing his eyebrow, making him chuckle.

“No, Uncle Flea.” You hummed and set down Euphemia’s tea and did the same. She returned the kiss, leaving you unaware of how James seemed to be eyeing you. You set down Sirius’s drink and he poked his cheek, leaning closer to you. You kissed your hand and smacked him. He laughed and you finished up, taking your seat across from the boys on your own side of the table.

“How about you, son?” Flea asked Sirius next, and Black shrugged. “Nothing really.”

“Really? You're not going to tell him?” James smirked and you looked at him curiously, confused. Sirius shared your look and James continued. “I mean, If you won't, I will.” He cheeked.

“James what are you-” Before you could even finish, he threw his hands up in an exaggerated announcement.

“Sirius and {Y/N} are dating!”

Your jaw went slack in shock and Sirius snapped his head over, dumbstruck.

“I- what- James Potter!” You shouted at him, he smirked at you. This cheeky little bastard. There was a loud thud from under the table as you kicked him. Hard. The poor boy winced and tried to keep his face straight.

“James you bloody-” Sirius started with a clench jaw before Euphemia gave a laugh.

“No need to be shy you two, however, James you shouldn't have told us before they were ready.” She scolded and Fleamont gave a chuckle and clapped Sirius on his shoulder.

“Just be safe, boy. Mr. {L/N} and I are not ready to be grandpas.” He cheeked and you slowly sunk into your seat and covered your face, groaning low as Sirius began to stammer over himself, not sure if he should explain himself or not.

James was so dead.

~~~

You paced in your room, hands over your mouth in deep thought. James was cleaning the kitchen and Sirius was closing down the house, their respective chores of the night. You sat on your bed and tried to figure a way out of this, before someone knocked on your door.

You looked up and waved your wand to open the door, Sirius walking in holding James by his ear. The taller boy was cursing and following close behind. “Ow ow ow ow-”

“James Fleamont Potter!” You whisper hissed and stood up, Sirius smirking, for once, not the one in trouble.

“Hear me out-”

“No! We will do no such thing!” You continued to whisper-shout at him. “You need to tell them you were lying!”

James bit his cheek and looked at Sirius who was avoiding his eyes. “It's just a few months-”

“James-”

“Hear me out! Just, just three months! You saw how excited they got.” James pleaded and you sighed. Covering your face before you peaked between your fingers at Sirius who gave you a playfully scandalized look.

“Am I the only one with common sense here?” Sirius scoffed and you groaned.

“It would seem so. Frightening, innit?”

“Debilitating, actually.” He sighed playfully and you laughed.

There was a long pause between you and Sirius. James watched as you two seemed to be communicating between your eyes. James slowly pouted as he was, once again, left out of the loop.

“Fine.” You sighed and Sirius bit his lip. “Alright, three months.”

~~~

You were not ready for the whirlwind that was sixth year. A lot had happened in such a short amount of time.

You had forgotten about the ever growing issue of telling Regulus Black of your new found status with his brother. To your complete shock, he seemed happy about the news.

“Bloody finally.”

“The hell do you mean finally?”

“If I had to go one more school year watching my brother make eyes at you, I'd vomit. Just keep it behind closed doors please.”

Eyes? Your friends were going mad. Pandora seemed to actually express visual joy when you told her, smiling with a hand over her heart, with a simple. “That's lovely.”

Barty, Sirius’s self proclaimed nemesis, even seemed relieved. Though, he had to admit, he didn't figure you for someone who wanted to be with a player.

The only one who seemed to take the news hard was Severus, reminding you of the prank and how that bastard tried to kill him. You listened to his concerns, but in truth, you knew Sirius wasn't the only one at fault. You had, in fifth year, confronted Sirius about what had happened and he admitted his fault in it.

You knew it wasn't for you to forgive, but if you couldn't forgive him, what place did you have being crossed about it?

Eventually, Severus, Avery, and Mulicber wanted nothing to do with you. As Severus hurt, you had to admit, he was camaraderie found in misery. You refused to be miserable anymore.

Remus was the first to notice it, how much you had grown and who you had left behind. He also seemed to be you and Sirius’s biggest fan, and unexplainably protective of your relationship.

Before you knew it, you were sitting at the Gryffindor table every day, nuzzled under Sirius’s arm and watching him as he rattled on about Quidditch practice and the start of the season. You didn't really care about the game, you only used to watch to support Regulus as a seeker, which seemed to please James as well.

“Do you have a spare jersey?” You pressed your pinky to his side gently, muttering into his shoulder. Sirius looked down at you, a bit startled by your comment. He narrowed his eyes at you curiously and you pressed your tongue to your cheek. Watching as his expression shifted a bit and his cheeks turned a soft red.

“A jersey?” He pushed, trying not to get his hopes up. You gave a laugh at his nervous question.

“All I have are Slytherin colors.” You mused and slipped your arm around his back and nuzzled into his chest a bit. Regulus giving a playful gag, poking his finger to the back of his throat at your public displays of affections.

You giggled before James spoke up, he had been so quiet you didn't even notice him. “You can wear mine, I have an old Seeker one from before I was captain.” He hummed and Sirius stiffened against you a bit. You watched his jaw clench, and his attention was finally torn from you, playfully glaring at James.

“James-”

“Thanks Jamie.” You mused and Sirius snapped his attention back to you, just for you to be smiling up at him. “But I want to wear my boyfriend's name.”

Sirius swore he lost the air in his lungs. Remus whistled and you laughed at the out of character display.

“You're so fucking whipped-” Regulus huffed with a roll of his eyes and before you could turn to reprimand him, Sirius wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you practically on his lap. “Better be, just f’me.” He mumbled against your ear. No one else could hear him, you wondered why he even said it.

Regardless, you didn't think your heart could beat that fast for anyone but James.

~~~

Three months passed faster then you thought it possibly could. The cautious and careful moments between you and Sirius turned familiar and confident. From your new routine between classes to show everyone just how in love you surely were to the private moments you weren't positive you should be having with the best friend of the boy you loved.

Reality was slowly blending together with your facade, from him sneaking off with you to the astronomy tower, and your walks along the Black lake when no one could see you two.

Even now, where you laid in his bed, alone. Remus doing his Prefect duties and James’ surely wowing Lily. You were sitting with your back against the headboard, reading to Sirius as he hummed and dozed off. You propped the book against his arm that wrapped around your middle, your other hand tangled in his hair. He seemed to be in just a blissful state, absolutely unraveled as your nails ran over his scalp.

You trailed off, just admiring the sleepy boy. Slowly leaning closer to see if he had fallen asleep yet.

You were spending time with the boys in their common room. Sirius had complained about his horrid sleep schedule, and when you, ever the good girlfriend, suggested you read to him. He laughed at first. When you puffed up your cheeks and told him it always worked for James, suddenly his tune changed.

He practically dragged you up to their shared dorm and left Peter and James behind, snuggling up to you, like he said a proper boyfriend would. Your heart was going mad at first. You hadn't been in their dorm, let alone in Sirius’s bed before. He acted so natural about it, you tried to stifle the green monster that seemed to have switched targets from Lily to Sirius’s past flings.

You don't know when it changed, but looking down at Sirius’s peaceful face, how he seemed so comfortable with you in his arms and pressed against your body, you knew you had ruined your chances at a normal love life. Falling in love with Sirius Black was the worst idea you never had.

Suddenly, Sirius stirred, eyes opening, sagged and low, clearly still tired. Your eyes locked, and this warm feeling filled you as he slowly smiled at you. You didn't even feel nervous, just.. just peaceful.

“Is the book done?” He muttered and you slowly nodded. His eyes never leaving yours. There was a bit of quiet before he began to speak. “Dragon-”

Then the door slammed open. “Don't be naked!” James huffed, covering his eyes. You have a nervous laugh as your cheeks flushed, looking away. Sirius gave a low and annoyed groan. It was gravely and deep as he sat up. You did not need that stuck in your head right now.

“Damn it mate, I'm trying to sleep.” Sirius huffed and James seemed startled at your state. You were actually reading to him. When he heard ‘sleep’ his mind wandered to Sirius’s typical use for it. The idea of you sleeping with Sirius didn't get under his skin, but the idea of loosing a piece of you that was once his, did.

Instead, he walked in on you and him. Doing one of his favorite things. One of you and his favorite things. You were really reading to him. He slowly frowned as your fingers left Sirius’s hair. You pouted up at him, not even seeming to care James was there, just upset that your weighted blanket moved.

He didn't like that. Not at all.

Sirius shifted and his palm pressed down a bit too much weight on your thigh and you hiss. He quickly got off of you and muttered an apology.

“It's okay Siri.” You whispered and rubbed your skin. He took a deep breath. That bloody nickname.

“You know.” James cut in and you and Sirius looked over at him. “It's been three months.”

He gestured to the two of you and you looked back up at Sirius with nervous eyes. He seemed to try to study yours as well.

“I think that's long enough.” He challenged.

You slowly took a breath, Sirius seemed to be waiting on your word. “Well.. are you with Lily yet?” You questioned, looking over at the tan skinned boy and James gave you a scandalous look.

“I mean-”

“That was the deal, right?” Sirius asked and looked back at James, getting comfortable over you once more, nuzzling his head right against your stomach. You smiled down at him, not noticing the looks him and James shared. Not particularly friendly.

“You asked us, James.”

“I wouldn't say what he did was asking.” You mumbled and Sirius chuckled, looking back up at you and gesturing to the book. You glanced at a red faced James before carefully grabbing the book and opening it. You didn't care to watch James' betrayed expression. He had done this to himself.

~~~

“It's going to be so fun, Sirius!” Peter declared and James laughed, “Yeah, what's more important then charming the stairs to move when a Slytherin tries to talk on it?”

Remus smirked at Sirius who simply gave a fond smile and a sigh. “Sorry, I have business with my lovely dragon.”

Remus gave Sirius a proud smile and the tatted boy rubbed the back of his neck.

“What, are you two shagging?” Peter asked with a bored look and Remus smacked him.

“Thank you Moony, and no, I'll have you know. We haven't even kissed yet.” He huffed and James’s jaw went slack. Why would Sirius admit that?

Why in the bloody hell would I admit that? Sirius thought, mortified. He keeps forgetting this isn't a true relationship. It's been five months, Sirius wasn't known to wait longer than a week.

Peter was rubbing the back of his head with a huff and Remus gave Sirius a surprised look. Sirius looked anywhere but their faces.

“You two.. haven't kissed?” Remus pushed and Sirius shrugged. “Just.. I'm her first boyfriend, she is nervous. You know, all that stuff. She's sensitive.”

When he looked at the group he got a variety of different looks. Peter was shocked, James was confused, and Remus looked purely ecstatic.

“Seems Sirius found someone worth waiting for, hm?” Remus teased and Sirius flipped him off.

“I'm done talking to you lame-os anyway. She's waiting for me in the library.” He huffed and hurried off the opposite side of the hall, face red and absolutely humiliated. Even then, he couldn't think of anything but seeing you.

In the background, he could hear James shout. “To study!?”

~~~

You waited for Sirius in the library like you promised, thumbing threw a few of your school books and comparing you and Sirius’s grade cards. Since him and you began the charade, his grades had improved greatly. He seemed to start to care about studying. He, ever the flirt, would always say if he got to spend time with you, spending the day studying in the library wasn't entirely awful.

When Sirius showed up, you couldn't help how the most excited smile grew on your lips. You and Sirius were quietly enjoying each other's presence, but about an hour into your session you heard a voice call out to you. It was soft, soothing, and it sounded like honey.

“Can we join you?”

You looked up confused, staring into the green eyes of Lily Evans. You expected that familiar bitter twist of your chest to settle, but you didn't feel a negative emotion towards her. You looked beside her and there stood Mary Macdonald, Marlene Mckibbon, and Dorcus Meadows. You smiled at Dorcas and she nodded to you.

“Of course you can.” You gestured to the table, turning to Sirius for approval and he looked surprise by your answer. You smiled at him and shrugged, leaning a bit closer and whispered, “It'll help, yeah?”

“Help?” He mumbled back and you smirked against his cheek. Giving him a small kiss against it. “For Jamie, Siri.”

You pulled away and smiled at Lily as she turned to talk to you. Sirius was staring at you like you stole his voice, but he didn't want it back.

Pandora was right, when you got to know Lily, you did like her. Quite a lot.

By the end of the day, you and Lily were laughing with your arms linked, leaving the Library.

“Merlin, we should have talked ages ago!” She smiled bright at you and you laughed, nodding in agreement.

“Most definitely, when do you usually study?” You pushed and Dorcas muttered a goodbye, turning to leave without you and the redhead. Mary smirked at the scene and Marlene wrapped her arms around your neck.

“We are here too!” She complained and you laughed louder. You liked Marlene, but it seemed the bitter feeling that was once aimed at Lily was now on her. You really wish Pandora didn't tell you about her and Sirius having the longest standing relationship out of all of his past wix.

She was with Mary now, she didn't have any interest in Sirius. Merlin, please save you. Jealousy was your biggest weakness. Other then that, blending in with the girls was easy. They were so delightful.

Eventually, Sirius managed to pry you away from the three, leaving you reaching back for them and earning laughs from the girls. Sirius eventually lifted you up on his shoulder so you'd stop fighting him.

That distracted you.

Damn his beater toned arms.

You looked back at him from where he was holding you, making it to the stairs to the dungeons. You flinched a bit when you heard Dorcas curse. You looked back and saw her, stuck in the middle of the stairs, trying to walk down as the stairs moved against her downward steps up.

You gawked at it and nudged Sirius’s shoulder. “Someone is after you boy’s title.” You teased and Sirius shook his head.

“It was the boys.” He remarked and hoisted you up properly, watching as Dorcas managed to fight her way to the bottom. Holding her knees with an aggregated pant. You laughed and tried not to get too in your head about what he said and the conclusion you came to. He spent the day with you instead of pranking with the boys.

“How will we get down?” You asked and he smirked. “It just works with Slytherins.” He cheeked and suddenly began hurrying down the stairs. You yelped and clung to his back. He laughed and fixed his grip on your thighs to keep you over his shoulder. You huffed as you got to the bottom, only for Dorcas to tutt at you.

“You're huffing!?”

You laughed and he set you down. Dorcas waved you off and you tried to cover your smiling face.

You watched Dorcas enter the dorms, you followed after her before you paused and turned to face Sirius, who was watching you with his hands in his pockets. Trying not to seem winded.

“Hey, Siri.” You called him over and he tilted his head. Walking over to you, you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down a bit.

His hands snaked around your hips and he went to hold his breath. You smiled at him and he seemed startled and waiting not so patiently for your next move. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips, and your eyes were locked in his lips. This was okay right? This is what partners do?

“Sirius, can I-”

Before you could even properly ask, Regulus rudely interrupted.

“Alright you, stop sucking my brother's face.” Regulus’s voice rang from behind you and you refused to budge. Sirius smirked and moved in, before Regulus yanked you back by your hood. The door closing behind you. He could faintly hear your sounds of disapproval.

Sirius stared at the door for far longer than he should have. Thinning his lips as he tried to remind himself. This was fake. And you loved James.

~~~

Eight months. Late April, and you were sitting in the Gryffindor stands watching the final game of the year. Well, if you could call trying to locate colors on the foggy backdrop with blistering rain watching.

You sat with Lily, Mary, Remus and Peter. It was foggy, drizzling, and the match lasted hours. You were wrapped up in one of Sirius’s leather jackets, it didn't do much to cut through the chill.

You didn't want to lie and say you understood what was happening, just that James and Regulus had yet to catch the snitch. Occasionally, the stands would cheer and you would throw your hands up in support of it all. Watching as Lily laughed at you.

“Sweetness, you look lost.” Lily sang to you, and you bite your bottom lip. “That obvious?”

“Only to everyone.” She laughed and put her hand on your arm, pulling you up. You both walked over to the railing and she put her hand above her brow and looked around. You looked at her movements, before copying her body language.

“There!” She cheeked and pointed out a billowing red cape, hardly making out James' name. You smiled and leaned closer. “Is that Jamie?”

“It … is.” Lily muttered softly and looked at you from the corner of her eye, as if looking for any sign of affection for the boy. Beyond platonic. To her pleasant surprise, your next words made her smile.

“Do you see Siri?” You asked, leaning closer so she could hear you above the cheering fans and the loud beating rain.

Lily lit up, laughing, gesturing over towards one of the goals. You narrowed your eyes and began to hit your heel against the wooden floor. The smile that unfolded onto your cheeks was far brighter then she'd ever seen you look at James.

Lily saw it, the shift in your eyes.

She wasn't the first one to see it, but she wouldn't be the last.

“Oh! Oh! They found it!” Lily exclaimed and you snapped your attention over to where Lily pointed. You looked down and your eyes widened, watching as James and Regulus raced for the snitch.

“Regulus!” You screamed.

“James!” Lily cheered.

Your eyes snapped to each other and you both began to laugh. You loved James, but come on, Slytherin could use this.

You both looked back and began to cheer and chant their names. Lily screamed out in delight as James caught the snitch, and you leaned over the railing with an exaggerated, “Booo!!” James noticed and you quickly covered your mouth.

Remus bellowed a laugh at James’s offended but playful look.

“Gryffindor wins!! I think.” The announcer screamed over the intercom. You laughed and turned to look at Lily who was already running down the stairs.

You scrambled with a bit of a slip as you hurried after her to the pitch. The red head was far faster than you, however. Remus just strolled back with Mary, who was rambling about how cool her girlfriend looked. You just missed her talking about how tone her girlfriends arms were-

It's the beaters charm, really.

When you made it to the pitch you watched James land, Lily practically tackling him off his broom. The boy wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. The team cheering and screaming in delight, the stands going mad with confetti. He looked up to you and let go of Lily, turning to face you as he brandished the snitch.

You lit up to match his smile, but before you could make it over to congratulate him, you saw Sirius land threw the crowd. You felt your entire body grow gittery, from your tightening toes to your squaring shoulders. He tossed the bat to the ground and ruffled his wet hair. He looked breathtaking. You watched as he threw his arm around Marlene, the two laughing and flexing a bit at each other. You narrowed your eyebrows a bit.

That was enough for you to take a few large steps forward. “Sirius!” You called over.

First things first, you were not jealous. You certainly weren't jealous, not of Marlene, she loved Mary. But you would be happy if he wasn't touching her- or if she just took two huge steps back. You wouldn't be upset about that.

Sirius looked over to you and his smile grew brighter, letting go of Marlene. Good. He began hurrying over to meet you. Eventually, you broke into a jog and he matched your pace. James watched in confusion as you threw yourself into his arms as your excitement grew. You laugh as he lifts you up and spun you around. You looked down at him with a bright smile, blocking out the rain from falling on his chiseled face. Your hands moved to his cheeks and he opened his eyes slowly. He paused in the center of the court and you bite your bottom lip. He wanted terribly to pull it between his own teeth.

“You won.” You whispered and his hands slipped higher up your sides. The intimate moment so public his hands felt like fire on your cold wet skin.

“I did.” He whispered and you leaned your body against his. He kept you up easily despite his throbbing muscles. You leaned your lips right above his, eyes locked in a trance. “Do I.. do I get a reward?” He whispered and glanced down at your lips.

You laughed, leaning down and completed the kiss. Holding him firm against yourself, he met you with pure hunger. Slowly setting you down, without breaking the kiss. You moved closer against him, your bodies meeting without an inch between your limbs.

This is okay, right? You thought blissfully. This was for James.

You both were lost to the world. Ignoring anyone else as Sirius began to grab at you with so much intensity you gasped. He took the opportunity to introduce your tongues.

You didn't notice as James gave a pained expression. He wasn't sure why you going to Sirius bothered him so much.

No, he knew why. He felt like he was losing you. Like everything that made James special to you was being replaced with Sirius. It was his own bloody fault.

Lily noticed his wandering eyes and her lip twitched. Resolving herself to take his cheeks and turn him to look at her. He slowly smiled and leaned down to take a kiss. She met him with a happy hum.

The moment went from bitter jealousy to melting joy. This was your favorite game yet.

“Am I just chopped liver!?” Regulus finally exclaimed, the only thing pulling your attention from your lip lock. You threw your head back with a laugh, and Sirius just stared with a love sick smile, kiss bruised lips, and in absolute joy.

~~~

By the time summer came around you were around the Potters more and more.

You stopped spending the night so much, the older you got the more Euphemia seemed to believe you and Sirius were being closer then close most nights. Making teasing remarks that killed you. Eventually, you stopped coming over when Sirius joined in on the teasing.

Your father and you were invited over tonight, however. You didn't want to introduce your father to Sirius, the man had a bigger heart then most, and you knew it would hurt him to meet your ‘first love’ just to lose him months later. You didn't think this would last so long.

So when the door opened and Flea welcomed you in, you were shocked to see Sirius on the couch, hair combed, clothing presentable, even hiding some of his newer tattoos he got over your time in muggle London. He smiled over at you and your father, standing up and walking over.

You were stunned by just how charming he was trying to be. Your father looked surprised, looking to you in confusion, as if he had expected someone else tonight.

“Sirius Black then? I know of your family.” He remarked and Sirius faltered a bit. You walked over to link your arm with his. He looked to you and smiled soft, hesitantly. Your father seemed completely pleased.

As the night went on you guys moved to the parlor room. You were ecstatic to learn Lily was coming as well, and when she got there, the night turned much more lively.

You were laying your legs across Sirius lap and laughing at your father and Flea’s ever heated debate about his most recent business decisions. Lily was listening intently, happy to learn more about the inner workings of the wizarding world. James was sitting on the floor with his head in her lap and her fingers tangled in his locks.

Sirius put a hand on your chin and turned you over to look into his eyes. You gave him a smile and nudged his arm with your knee. You leaned your chin greedily into his hand, wanting the full contact of his palm. When he gave it to you, you leaned your cheek into it. He stared at you and you pressed your lips together. “Sirius?”

“Yeah?” He whispered.

“What's this?” You whispered and slowly wrapped your hand around his wrist and turned to kiss his hand. Glancing at him from the corner of your eyes. He about died.

“Awe, young love.” Euphemia cooed and you were startled back to the moment, pulling from Sirius who quickly fixed himself to look at the three parents, James effectively out of the conversation without a care.

Lily laughed and Flea reached over to pat Sirius’s shoulder. “What did I always say, {Y/N}?”

“Hm? What's that Flea?” You hummed and looked back at the men and Euphemia, he chuckled.

“Every Potter has a Slytherin.” He cheeked and winked at Sirius whose face turned to one of pure shock. You lit up at him and back to Sirius, who was smiling like a fool. You mirror his look and then Mrs. Potter spoke up next.

“I'm so glad you two figured it out.” She hummed..

“What was that?” You mumbled and looked back at her in pure confusion.

“Oh, that boy has been making heart eyes at you since he first got here. I could tell he was smitten.” Mrs. Potter mused a matter of factly, looking over at Sirius just past your confused expression, who was making a lip zipping motion, she gave him an amused and curious look, which made you turn and smirk at him. He quickly tried to play it off, earning a laugh from the group.

James rolled his eyes at their interaction, and Lily pouted a bit. Still confused as to why he seemed so determined to dislike the two together.

“You know, it's been a few months since me and Lily got together.” He remarked to the room, eyes on you and Sirius. You frowned a bit and looked away, Sirius met his look with a challenging one of his own. Euphemia narrowed her eyes but the men seemed none the wiser.

“And how lovely Lily is.” Fleamont mused and gestured to her, she smiled at him, happy with how they seemed to accept her so easily.

The night went smoothly from there.

Eventually, it was time to head home. The Potters, Evans, and Black walked you both to the door. You said your goodbyes, but whenever you would glance at Sirius he seemed preoccupied with your lips.

It wasn't something you thought you'd ever find attractive, how desperately Sirius wanted to kiss you at any given moment. Here you were, however, absolutely melting.

You leaned up on your toes and gave him a quick peck. Your dad smiled at this, but before you could turn away Sirius wrapped his arms around you and stole another longer kiss. If only by seconds. You laughed into his lips and he smiled against yours. Muttering a goodbye before you and your father finally apparated away.

You didn't think tonight could get much better, but when you looked up at the stairs to your manor, you locked eyes with familiar bright grey ones. Regulus Black, with a suitcase and a bruised cheek, giving you a cautious stare. Like a stray cat, ready to bolt, but instead of attention it was the first sign of rejection.

Regulus Black was a proud boy, like his brother. He was far too determined to do something and everything by himself.

Your father looked confused, before he glanced at you, like he was seeing double in one night.

You hurried up the stairs, not answering your father immediately as you moved to grab his bag. To your absolute shock, Regulus fell into you before you could, hands clenching your sleeves. You were bewildered, Regulus never wanted to be touched.

You didn't have to think twice before you wrapped your arms around his middle and pulled him in close. The younger boy crying softly into your shoulder. Tonight was a startling night for firsts with the Black children, but you didn't hesitate to embrace it.

Your father picked up his luggage and muttered something about fixing up a room for him as he went inside. You were content to comfort Reggie.

~~~

Once Regulus was comfortable in the spare room, you talked. He told you everything about what had happened the past month, and your heart broke. Regulus and you were closer than most, but he still kept cards to his chest. He was paranoid, but in his weakness, he showed you all of them.

He told you what they expected of him, at just fifteen they told him he would be expected to go through with what his brother could not. How when he expressed even the slightest hesitance, they resulted in reprimanding him like Sirius.

He told you how he missed his brother, how he hated being alone in that house. He left the second his mother went to Paris on business, trying to get him a deal with a pureblood overseas.

He promised he would only be there for a few nights at most. His expression was blank but his voice was soaked in sullen misery, sitting beside you on the bed and staring at the wall.

“Where will you go, Regulus?” You reached for his hand and he didn't pull away.

“I'll figure it out.” He mumbled and you gave an offended laugh.

“You're mad if you think I'll let you leave with no plan.” You scoffed. “Regulus, you're safe here.”

“I'm a burden here.” He snapped back, eyes flicking to yours. They were full of pain you were familiar with. Your lips parted and you tried to read his expression, before something sparked in your mind. Burden?

“Regulus, you could never be a burden to me. To us.” You whispered and he sniffled. The shock that went through your body wasn't foreign.

“Reggie…” You paused and tilted your head to try to get him to express what was under all of this. You knew he was prideful and independent, but this didn't seem in character. Not for you two.

A guilt filled you as he refused to meet your eyes. Your eyes widened. Was he.. was he angry with you? “Reggie-”

“Listen. I don't want to get between you and my brother. I'm glad you love him. I'm glad he has someone to love. Just wish you stayed my friend too.” He scoffed and sniffled, the tension in your body fell away. You slowly covered your mouth.

He was right.

You had been spending every waking moment with Sirius since school began again. Pandora had Dorcas, Barty had Evans, Severus had his horrid friends. Regulus didn't have anyone. He would come to the Gryffindor table to spend meals with you, but after, before, Merlin, even during, you were focused on his brother.

The one thing he had with you, Quidditch, and you ran to his brother when he won. Didn't even check on him for his loss. You thought his words were playful that day but truly? You were cruel.

You had abandoned him. To his family, to his self doubt, you left him alone.

You had done what James had done to you.

“Oh Reggie.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. He leaned his head against your shoulder but didn't hug back.

That night was filled with heart filled apologies, promises of a better tomorrow, and a guarantee Regulus had a home with you and your father.

It made you wonder, how you felt so guilty and ruined over the simple idea of what you had done to Regulus. Even his forgiveness didn't seem to be enough. James didn't seem the least bit apologetic in his words to you. Not as much as you thought he should.

Eventually, you let him sleep. You lettered Sirius, with Regulus’s permission, of his status.

You woke up early the next morning to your father calling you downstairs. Watching the Black brothers embrace healed something in you that you didn't know needed. Sirius looked so happy, and you watched Regulus grow flustered at his brother's affection. Laughing out as Regulus eventually pushed his sappy brother away and declared he was going back to his room.

You both shared a look as he disappeared.

The summer was the best yet.

~~~

Once school began, James and you had your last separation.

You came to him, voicing your thoughts about his cruelty towards you. He was confused as to where this came from, considering you had forgiven him. You had to remind him, you never did. You stayed at his house for Sirius that summer, he never apologized.

He had changed a lot, he kept true to his promise to better himself for Lily. You were proud of him, but it still hurt. Like a wound that continued to reopen whenever you were reminded that he didn't seem to truly care about what he had done to you. Just wanted to bury it. There was that nagging voice, telling you to just forgive him. Forgive and forget about it.

Then, would you accept that treatment for Regulus? It took seeing it through his eyes to understand you deserved more than an eight year olds apology. But that's what you got.

“Look, I get it. I really am sorry. Forgive me?”

“No.”

“... no? What, {Y/N}, come on. It's been two years now-”

“And I've tried. I have tried so hard, James. But as I've seen it.. I've fought to keep you in my life. You have never done that for me.”

“Fought for you? This isn't some book-”

“That's all I need, James. Just show me better.”

The argument that ensued was short and to the point. Nothing was resolved, so you left it that way. You wouldn't put forward the effort to keep a sense of normalcy despite the pain.

You were content with who you had, you would learn to get over the people you lost.

Your hand was off the wheel. You were done chasing after James Potter. You knew your father would be proud of you. You knew Sirius was proud of you, Regulus too. You never felt so at peace with the people you chose. Not because you never knew any better, but because they wanted you just as badly as you wanted them.

You and Sirius’s relationship was still dancing the line. You both knew that if this truly was just for James benifit it would have been over by now. You both were content as it was. Nothing said, nothing lost.

You both continued to blur the lines between you both, until the first win of the Quidditch season. It didn't take much convincing for him to lock Peter out of their dorm, leaving just you both to do what two young adults would. Something you both agreed was long overdue.

~~~

James had spent his night much the same way, waking up with Lily.

James was happy with Lily, she was everything he ever wanted. There was still something, however, eating him alive inside. He missed you. He didn't know how to handle his part in your departure, still unable to hold himself accountable for the pain he caused you all those years ago. Because you were kids! Practically siblings. Why did he have to prove he cared?

He pushed the thoughts away as Lily woke beside him. Giving him her breathtaking smile, something that James couldn't help but smile back at.

“Morning.” She sang so sweetly, leaning in to steal and lazy and long kiss. They both smiled into it, content at the moment.

James gave a laugh as Lily rolled onto his lap. Biting her lip as she grabbed the top of the bed frame. “Jamie~” She sang and he looked her up and down, giving a low groan as he snapped forward to kiss her, and like the tease she was, she rolled back over onto her back off his lap.

Neither of them had time to process what happened next, she hit her shoulder on his dresser and hissed. Leaning forward to cover her arm. He moved to rub her skin before he heard the sound of something hitting the floor.

He narrowed his eyes and looked over Lily, his face filling with dread.

Grandos. The dragon statue your father had carved all those years ago, shattered on the ground.

He shot up from the bed, just as Lily looked over. “Jamie?” She whispered and he hurried to get dressed, panicked. Taking out a towel and setting the statue on it like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“Jamie, oh- Oh James I am so sorry-” She began and tried to sit up, he took a deep breath and shot to his feet.

He was crying. Why was he crying?

He was coming to terms with the fact that you would never speak with him again, the figurine didn't mean the end of the world. But it was his last piece of you.

The last thing he didn't share with Sirius. With Regulus. With Remus, with Lily. The last thing that meant you and James would have a connection beyond the silly fights and petty disagreements. The last thing from when you were James. His heart was breaking. “I- She can fix it, right? Do you think she can?” James pleaded to no one.

Lily's heart broke. She could tell immediately what this was about. “James-”

“I-I’ll be back.” He declared quickly and put on his cloak.

It didn't take long for him to make it to the Gryffindor common room, holding the broken figurine like it was a wounded bird. You looked up from your perch on Sirius’s lap, the black haired boy huffing when he lost your attention.

“{Y/N}!” He shouted and hurried over. You narrowed your eyebrows at him, and he shoved the broken pieces towards you. As always, expecting you to mend it.

“James?”

“Please I- I don't know how to fix it. I can't loose it, please.” He begged and your looked to Sirius who seemed just as bewildered. There was a thick silence, as Remus bit his cheek.

It was so painfully clear to everyone but James what this was about.

You sighed through your nose and thought for a moment. Slowly, taking out your wand and waving if. “Repairo.”

Like that, the carving was as good as new. All perfect with its chipped paint and jagged edges. James seemed stunned as he looked down at the polished toy.

You slowly folded your arms. “James?” You whispered.

He hung his head low in shame.

“James.” You called in a more steady voice. He nodded to show he was listening. You scoffed.

“That's the last time, James. I'm not fixing anything for you anymore.”

“I-”

“No. That's it.” You put your hands up and James gave a breathy scoff of his own. Gesturing to you and Sirius, the boys lips thinning.

“Why?” He whispered in a broken hearted whimper. “Why does this fake relationship matter more to you then ours?”

You stared at him with wide and furious eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me, James?”

“Dragon-” Sirius tried to call out to you and you scoffed, waving him off.

“James, I have spent my whole life cleaning up the mess you made of me!” You yelled at the suddenly sheepish boy. “I am prioritizing myself! For once! If you want me in your life, then prioritize me too! I am doing the same for my boyfriend.”

He scoffed. “He isn't even your serious boyfriend! You dated him for me!”

You took a deep breath and before you could say something, Sirius gave a cocky smirk. “We've been over this, yeah?” He snaked his hand around your waist and pulled you back, trying to defuse the situation. “Everyone I date is a Sirius-”

“Stop.” You huffed at him and covered his mouth. He put his hands up in surrender. “James, I think you knew this stopped being fake the moment we agreed to it.”

Sirius gave you the stupidest smile, before coughing into his palm and looked away as you glared at him. Not the time you adorable bloody idiot.

“I just… I thought-”

“James. Everything I did was for you. For 14 years. Forgive me if I'm over it.” You sighed and gestured to the figurine.

“Next time. Fix it yourself.”

[azulpitlane]

just pr I ln4

pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader summary: after being caught hooking up with lando, you both decide it would be good for your images to fake date. too bad you hate each other. notes: been loving enemies to lovers rn🫣 masterlist

f1gossip

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f1gossip New WAG alert? After a night of partying, Lando Norris was pictured kissing Y/n Ricciardo outside the club! Onlookers claim they then went home together after this👀 He was seen having a private dinner with another girl just a few days ago and rumored to have brought a different girl on his ski trip a few weeks ago.

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user lando is on a streak LOL

user this is so random?!? i was not expecting this duo but im here for it HAHA

user no cause she rarely attends races but when she does shes never seen with lando?😭

user omg he better not play my girl, I love y/n

user WHAT DOES DANIEL THINK OF THIS OMG

user I wanna read the family gc so bad...

user wait they would be so cute

user is he finally settling down omg

user I hope so, I lowkey see them together

user im here for it!! shes so much better than these other girls hes been seen with

notification center

danny what. were. you. thinking. you're in so much trouble missy call me ASAP!!!

y/bff/n LANDO NORRIS?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM BEING A PIECE OF SHIT??? girl we need to debrief last night

lando norris we need to talk

Fucking fantastic.

Based on your notifications, you put two and two together and realized you were paparazzi'd with none other than the man you hated the most. You and Lando had a very complicated relationship to say the least. You had met when your brother, Daniel, joined McLaren and from the start he had given you the cold shoulder. You didn't know what you did wrong and tried to be kind to him, but after a while you stopped when he dismissed you like a child. You thought you would get along with him after Danny had told you about his interest in photography. You yourself were a photographer and decided to take the year traveling with your brother to capture some photos in F1, but you had figured the fame was getting to Lando especially after his breakup with his girlfriend. He was starting to bring different girls to the garage in every race and you would never see them again after.

You remember your last interaction with him in the McLaren garage in the final race of the '22 season was when the complicated part of your relationship began.

"What are you doing here, y/n? This is a place for serious professionals, not hobbyists."

"Lando, always the charmer. I'm here to photograph greatness."

"Greatness? You wouldn't know greatness if it lapped you on the track."

"Well, I'm pretty sure greatness doesn't come with an ego the size of your car."

"Watch your tone, y/n. This is a dangerous place, not a playground for kids."

"I can handle myself, Lando. Unlike some people, I don't need a helmet to protect my head."

Both your eyes were filled with hatred as they interlocked, each refusing to back down. As the race begins, y/n continues to snap photos, capturing Lando's intense focus and determination.

After the race, both Lando and Daniel were disappointed they were not able to get into the podium on their last race of the season. Your brother asked for some time alone so you approached Lando, camera in hand, knowing it would be the last time you were in the same garage as him.

"Tough race, Lando. I got some incredible shots, though."

"Don't patronize me, y/n."

"You know for what it's worth, I saw a different side of you on the track this season. It's like you're fighting not just against other drivers, but against something within yourself.

"What are you talking about?"

"I may be the younger sister of your teammate, but I'm not blind. There's more to you than the arrogant facade you put on."

After that conversation, you began seeing Lando less and less considering your brother was now racing in AlphaTauri and you were hardly at the paddock anymore. The few times you did see Lando, the tension had shifted into something different. But it was now winter break and you and Lando were both back in Monaco.

You had gone out last night and you did not believe your luck when you saw Lando in the same club with a smirk on his face. Determined to show you could rise above the tension, you decided to lose herself in the pulsating rhythm of the music. As you moved to the beat, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you found yourself face-to-face with none other than Lando.

"Surprised to see me, princess?" He looked at you with a mocking smile knowing the nickname would rile you up.

"Surprised to see you alone at a club and not wrapped up with some girl? Yes, actually."

"Didn't take you for the jealous type, I like it."

Against your better judgment, you found herself drawn into banter with him. The tension between you turned into a strange kind of chemistry as you exchanged barbs, each remark escalating in intensity. A few drinks were exchanged and you slowly began to lose your guard around him and eventually ending up on his bed that night.

You groaned at the memory of last night's mistake and decided it was best to text Lando back before anyone else to get your story straight. He quickly replied saying he was on his way and you began to straighten yourself up.

"You know usually when I hook up with a girl I don't see her the next morning. Consider yourself lucky y/n."

"Still arrogant as ever, even when we're both fucked right now."

"Well you're a little more fucked than I am really."

"Just get in here Lando." You opened the door to let him in and quickly shut it afraid you would be pictured together again.

"I've got good news for you sweetheart. My team has made a plan to sort this mess out."

"Go on with it. What is it?"

"Jeez feisty in the mornings, heh? But congratulations, you are officially my girlfriend, we've been dating for a few weeks now and have kept it under wraps to figure out our feelings for each other privately."

"A fake relationship? That's your solution? No fucking way."

Lando sighed and rolled his head back in annoyance. He knew you were immediately going to shut this idea down but he had planned what he was going to say beforehand and knew what to say to convince you.

"You think I want to do this? My team needs me to do this, I haven't exactly looked like a saint these past few weeks and hooking up with my friend's sister behind his back isn't going to make me look any better."

"And what's that got to do with me?"

"Well in case you haven't noticed, this doesn't look good on your part either princess. There's some hateful people on the internet already slut shaming you and saying you betrayed your brother. If we tell people we were already dating prior to these pictures, it lessens the hate. Not only that, are you really going to tell Danny you had a meaningless one night stand with one of his friends?"

You knew he had a point. Danny wasn't going to be happy if he found out about the brewing tension between you and Lando.

"Please y/n, the internet already likes us together. This would be good for us."

"Lando Norris saying please? Wow, never thought I'd see the day." You genuinely were shocked at his desperateness for you to agree, you didn't think about how this affected him as much it did you.

"Yeah, yeah. It's only for a few months then we could go back to pretending we dont exist to each other."

"Okay fine, just for a few months. And I'm doing this for Danny, not for you." You quickly agreed not really thinking it would be that big of a deal. Just a few posts and appearances together and this would be over before you knew it.

"I knew you'd give in." Lando gave you one of his infamous smirks and planted a kiss in the corner of your mouth. "Now come on we need some pictures to make this convincing."

And so it begins.

landonorris

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landonorris secrets out

tagged yourusername

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user OMFG

user im actually so happy theyre so cute😭❤️

user WHAT WAS DANNYS REACTION

yourusername 🧡

danielricciardo on the next flight to monaco btw. maxverstappen1 yourusername ooouuu you're in troubleeee user LMFAO MAX user WAIT DID DANIEL NOT KNOW???

danielricciardo 🫠🫠

user AHAHAH he doesn't seem too happy user 💀

user am I tripping or is he holding y/ns camera🥹

user it looks like the one she always has on her I LOVE THEM ALREADY

user my new roman empire I won't shut up about them from now on

user wasn't lando just with other girls?

user he can have female friends!! its not impossible

part two??

[unholybacon355]

Kinktober Day 29: Eunha x M! Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

A/N: I know has been like a million years since my last post, and we are already on december. But I'm decided to finish my Kinktober run even if take em a whole year. After all I just need to write two more ahahahah But maybe I came out with something in between.

It was a feeling like being between clouds, or at least that's the best way you have to describe it. Eunha thighs are soft and squeezable so they are practically molding around your shaft.

Despiste that you prefer fuck her pussy or plump ass, you still had to admit that fucking wEunha’s thighs have it own charm. Also while she's giving you her back you're able to see her big ass, with her soft cheeks spilling out of her booty shorts.

You were on the couch with your legs open while Eunha was standing in front of you, with your shaft between her pressed thighs and her hands on your knees to help her to balance her own weight. You could only moan while she was pleasuring you on this way.

Is truly fascinating how she can manage to make you feel so much pleasure with this Not so usual way, but for real this is so fantastic. Her honey thighs molds around your meat and you were sure at this point there is an imprint of your dick on her skin. 

Maybe it wasn't so necessary because it was clear that her thighs are so soft, but the amount of lube that you applied on Eunha's thighs was making this experience even better. Making her skin do wet sounds with her movements.

You wish Eunha wasn't wearing anything so you could see her big ass in all of its glory, maybe squeeze her cheeks or play with her holes. But being real this already was too much, the experience of your dick being pressed between a pair of meaty thighs like those already have you spilling pre cum. That's the effect Eunha has upon you.

“Not yet Babe.” Suddenly Eunha stops her movements and parts her thighs to release your shaft. With a clean movement she takes off her shirt revealing her big tiddies, and repeating the movement she makes your wishes real and also takes off her shorts. Now she's completely naked in front of you and in some stupid way the thing that makes you harder isn't her pussy but her soft tummy. “I wanna see you.” 

You're on the clouds because of the pleasure and can't manage to answer so you just let her do it. Eunha puts again your dick between her juicy thighs only that this time she's facing you, so you can perfectly see her tiddies bounce while she starts trusting again. You want them in your mouth, you wanna taste those big pink nipples and tease them with your tongue, and it looks like Eunha is reading your mind because she hugs you pressing your face against her chest.

Now the pose is kinda weird and not comfortable but allows you not only to suck her tiddies, but also squeeze her but. Before the meat of Eunha's buttocks was spilling out of her shorts and now is doing it between your fingers. Her ass as well as her thighs is so soft, also molding at your wishes as if Eunha were made of some fantastic clay that came out of your most dirty dreams.

But she's real and is in front of you, pleasuring you, stroking your shaft with her honey thighs. And this new pose and her nakedness make your shaft rub against the soft and wet folds of Eunha's pussy. Now your dick is drenched on her pussy juices and with the movement her slick is covering her thighs too. Eunha's wetness makes her thighs even softer, if that is possible.

Eunha's big pink nipples are so hard inside your mouth, making a nice contrast with the soft skin of her breast. Your tongue plays with them with expertise, pleasuring one while jiggling the other.

All the feelings combined are so wonderful and since she is doing all the effort here you just have to enjoy, enjoy and let you go. You grab a handful of Eunha's soft buttocks and that's the final pleasure you need to hit the climax.

You start pouring cum out of your dick, making Eunha's thighs more shiny and slippery, mixing your sperm with her pussy juices. Her thighs are now a complete mess thanks to your combined work. And you two are panting after what was a pretty good climax. 

[cinnamoodles]

what are ur favorite anthony bridgerton five

hi! i'm assuming this says fics, and i am SO HONOURED that you trust me to recommend my favourite fics to you!

first up… the amazing and fantastic @fayes-fics, one of THE MOST skilled writers alive. she never misses!

some of my personal favs from her are:

➥ a beneficial arrangement [ ⭐️ ]

a marriage pact with a viscount. what could possibly go wrong?

➥ rescue and ruin

anthony rescues something for you… and it will likely lead to your ruin.

➥ the friends+ series

modern AU. series of fics that feature anthony & journalist!reader’s burgeoning relationship.

those are just a few of my favorites, but READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST! you will not regret it, promise.

secondly, a series of fics by the wonderfully talented @rubysunnday, and once again, be sure to read all of her masterlist!

➥ take my hand

as much as y/n appreciates anthony’s matchmaking efforts, it’s hard to accept them when he’s the only man she wants. luckily for her, a fall in the lake allows her to voice her feelings in more ways than one

➥ a long, long time

y/n has waited a long, long time for anthony bridgerton to finally decide to get married. but by the time he finally decides to find a wife, y/n has run out of time and anthony is suddenly faced with losing her to someone else.

➥ it’s a bad idea, me and you [ ⭐️ ]

y/n was ready to give her entire heart to anthony bridgerton. only for him to shove her aside in favour for sienna rosso. but, now, sienna is gone and despite what y/n keeps telling herself - anthony truly does own her heart.

now, for the queen of the modern!anthony au, @eleanor-bradstreet! some of my favorites from her are…

➥ gala

you attend a charity gala with your boss who really is too much trouble in a tux.

➥ locked out

when you find yourselves locked out of your house in the middle of the night, anthony has some ideas for how you can kill time.

➥ take me instead [ ⭐️ ]

you and anthony find yourselves in the middle of a bank robbery on an ill-fated day.

next we have @colettebronte, BRIDGERTON SMUT AUNTIE HERSELF WOOO!

(warning, these fics are VERY mature, and include BDSM and other possibly triggering material).

➥ rise and breathe

newly arrived back in london after a long journey across the mediterranean sea, you encounter a pathetically drunk viscount bridgerton the night he is rejected by sienna rosso. after a sobering morning on all counts, you sense that he is indeed lost and in need of a new purpose and direction. through submission and service, he may just find it.

➥ what (who) are you doing on new year’s eve?

a mysterious benefactor invites you to ring in the New Year with them.

➥ kinktober day ten: blindfolded

your tenth evening with your client. day ten for kinktober. I’m going with two prompts tonight, blindfolded and massage.

finally, we have some individual fics that stole my heart.

➥ diamonds and pearls by @multiharlot

diamonds and pearls do not make up for the lack of love in your marriage.

➥ enamoured by @dreamwritesimagines

everything you heard about matters of heart and desire told you the same thing; love could lead to heartbreak at best and disastrous results at worst. yet, you were convinced that everyone was wrong. they had to be, because love was supposed to make everyone happier, no confusion or pain in sight. regardless of how naive it sounded, you were sure that you were ready to fall in love and lose yourself in the infamous bliss. that assumption right there was a terrible mistake, though. you were nowhere near ready.

➥ right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch

you and anthony have been in love with one another from the moment you met, but it seems as though nothing will ever happen between you. after you catch the attention of another gentleman, he realizes perhaps it's time to finally do something about his feelings.

➥ right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

the only way he could rationally find a suitable wife was by removing love from the equation all together. courtship was game of jumping through hoops he really did not want to play, and he was a viscount. surely there would be a father with a more than suitable daughter he could simply ask for your hand and get it. or the one where your arranged marriage with anthony bridgerton isn’t a loving marriage… until it is.

➥ melt away by @healmydesires

the night you give your love and body to your husband.

➥ sham, pride, and illicit affairs by @peeterparkr

or, the story of how you rejected his proposal because you once loved him.

➥ enchanted by @imthebadguyyy

you and anthony don’t need words to converse.

➥ better man by @midnightfictionlibrary

anthony must rectify his rakish ways and wed, but he has a lot to think over if he doesn’t want to lose his dearest friend forever. 

➥ no longer in denial by @iwritefandomimagines

anthony has made no secret of not wanting to marry, despite it being more than clear that he is head over heels in love with you, his “best friend”. benedict decides he is fed up of anthony’s denial, and takes matters into his own hands — by inciting jealousy from his older brother.

➥ the language of flowers by @cinnamoodles (shameless self plug)

you and anthony have been friends for as long as you can remember, but what happens when his world turns upside down? will he open his heart and let the woman silently pining for him in?

AHH ok that was it, and these are the bridgerton fics i love with all of my soul. thank you so much for your ask, it was so nice to see all these wonderful fics again.

xo, lottie !

[mothhball]

five-finger discount

Pairing | Neil Lewis x Reader

Warnings | 18+ SMUT, DUB-CON, fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex, blackmail, sex on camera, brief edging, creampie, cheating, cursing, Moth pretends to know anything about movies

Summary | You’ve been trying to make easy money, but you’re not as subtle as you thought. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way.

Words | 4.4k

Notes | FINALLY DONE. and vaguely inspired by 70s porn haha

MINORS DNI

INT. GUMSHOE VIDEO – THRILLER AISLE – DAY

“No, it's not. That's not what she said. Someone is in trouble. Something bad is happening!” squawks a woman from the running TV in the background while your fingers trace over the backs of the VHS as you walk past the shelves.

1 PM on a Wednesday certainly is no rush hour at Gumshoe Video. Even the most annoying film bros don't come here at this time of day to flaunt their knowledge of the craft and subsequent absence of social skills. You're in the clear, pretending to deeply think about your choice in entertainment for the end of the day, even though that couldn't be further from the truth. Throwing a glance over your shoulder, you spot the business owner, entranced by the film that he put on to pass the time, and you can see his plush lips silently mouthing along to the dialog. Cute. And easy to trick.

It's not your first time here. No, you made sure to become familiar with the place over the course of months now, learning where each genre and title has been sorted into its rightful place.

Certain old VHS-tapes can sell for a small fortune online, and for every tape you rent, you take one for free with the plan of selling it to the highest bidder. Currently, you have a stack at home, waiting for you to finally stop procrastinating and open up that damn eBay account.

Your pinky catches on a specific tape. 'A History of Violence', currently estimated to lure an additional 199 bucks into your greedy bank account. Quietly, you pull out the film, leaving a gaping hole in the neatly sorted row as you slip it into your purse.

With nimble hands, you try to rearrange the tapes to make the missing VHS a little less obvious, but in your haste, a few of them escape your clammy grasp and clutter to the ground. A head of silky brunette hair whips around, and you're met with pretty blue eyes as the store owner turns to face you.

You let out a giggle, trying to sound as vapid and innocuous as possible. You’re in character now. The persona you chose? An unassuming, ditzy little thing that’s hot enough to distract him, but stupid enough as to not get suspected of any wrong-doings. You’d say you’re a good actress. A fantastic one, even.

"Sorry," you purr, batting your eyelashes at him. "I'm a little clumsy today." You're already bending over to pick up the tapes when he makes his way over to lend a helping hand, and you make sure to show off your cleavage in an intentionally accidental way. You know he’s into you. You’ve been seeing the heat in his gaze for weeks now, along with the occasional crack in his voice and an almost endearing desire to impress you. It’s his biggest weakness and the reason your plan has been working flawlessly until now.

"Hey, hey, no worries. Uh, gravity wins sometimes. Don't sweat it," he grins at you, brushing his fingers against yours as the two of you work together to put everything back into place.

"What exactly were you looking for anyway?" he suddenly asks, breaking your focus for a second.

"Uh, Moonstruck," you mutter, completely on autopilot. The store owner nods, pursing his lips as he mulls over your answer. You’re aware of your blunder before he even answers.

"Moonstruck? Then you're in the wrong section. You know, with how often you come here, I thought you got the hang of our layout by now." Fuck, he’s got you. Play dumb. Play dumb!

Your poker face almost cracks, but you keep your composure. Or at least you try to. "Huh? Oh - I... right. God, I'm just all over the place today." You giggle again, relieved by the way his grin seems to soften. Hook, line and sinker. He may think he’s detective Sam Spade from ‘The Maltese Falcon’, but you’re Brigid O’Shaughnessy. Or he’s Batman and you’re Catwoman. Or – well, it doesn’t matter. Baseline is, you’re snatching tapes right from underneath his nose while he’s too busy fantasizing about what’s underneath your clothes.

The store owner speaks up again, lazily rubbing the back of his neck as he leans against the shelf, and his free hand wanders and gestures around a bit as if he’s trying to figure out which pose would look the coolest and most effortless.

“Right. Actually, that wasn’t really fair of me.” You tilt your head at him, eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly which prompts him to elaborate. “Some of our tapes went missing. Y’know, some of the oldies and goldies? That’s why I didn’t stock Moonstruck this week.”

Your lips part in surprise, but all you can reply with is a soft ‘oh’. The store owner shrugs, leaning in towards you. There’s something conspiratory about his expression which makes your stomach churn a little. “Yeah. But I do still have it. It’s just in my office.”

There’s a beat of silence as you mull over the unspoken offer. Your plan is built on the one tape you always rent for cheap. No one would think you’re stealing if you’re actually paying for something, right? Despite this, you wonder if you should call it a day and head home with the stolen film hidden in your purse. Alibi be damned.

“I… That’s great. Uh, actually, I was just about to –“ he cuts you off with a casual wave of his hand, and the grin on his face widens once more.

“Don’t worry. I’ll even give you a discount. Just follow me.”

INT. GUMSHOE VIDEO – NEIL LEWIS’ PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY

The private office of Neil Lewis, cinephile and pop culture enthusiast, is decorated with a distinct Film Noir charm, lovingly empathized by leather chairs and a checkered floor. Not to mention the letters on the door. He calls himself a private investigator. A joking title that makes you palms sweat ever so slightly. You notice that he set up a small camera on his desk, but he brushes it off as a regular procedure.

"So... Moonstruck,” he starts, gesturing for you to take a seat. Which you do. “Great pick. Just curious - Why did you go for that one?" The question makes you pause for a second.

"The... the cover spoke to me,” you casually lie, trying to sound somewhat cute, but it doesn’t land. Neil’s expression quickly betrays his skepticism, and his lips part while his narrowed gaze wanders around the room for a minute. "Hm. And what about the other one?"

"What do you mean?" Play dumb, play dumb, play – but he’s not letting you off the hook so easily.

"The other tape."

Silence fills the office, and you swear the VHS in your purse is starting to burn a hole right where it’s settled in your lap.

"Which... other tape? I just picked out this one."

"Ohhh, right. Sorry. My bad. Just… Moonstruck." The way he’s saying this makes it seem like he enjoys the taste of the letters on his tongue. You nod, a little too eager to get this conversation over and done with.

"So you won’t mind me looking through your purse?" Neil leans forward in his seat, folding his hands on top of his desk. Your eyes briefly fall onto the little desk name plate that’s undoubtedly just made out of shiny, golden plastic. But it does the job. It intimidates you. At least to a certain degree.

“No,” you lie through your teeth, trying to shrug off the tension. “I… it’s certainly no problem, Mr. Lewis. None at all.”

Neil lets out an apathetic sigh as he rises from his seat, causing the leather to squeak. His steps seem a little too confident for a video rental owner as he moves around the desk to first walk over to the door and lock it. “Neil is fine. I’m not a big fan of… formalities,” he starts, coming up behind you to set his hands on your shoulders. His hands are gentle but firm, causing your body to warm right down to the deepest layers. To make his control over the situation even more apparent, he splays his hands, tracing your collarbone with his middle finger. It’s subtle enough that he could pass it off as a figment of your imagination if you should choose to speak up. But you don’t. You stay quiet, even as he leans down and you can hear the murmur of his voice right next to your ear.

“Open your purse.”

You bite your tongue, slowly opening your purse to find Cher’s face grinning back at you. It’s Moonstruck. In all of its romantic glory, and it makes both you and Neil freeze for a moment. You lick your dry lips, saying the first thing that comes to mind.

"That's mine."

"Yours?" You wouldn’t know, but his eyebrow twitches upward at your ridiculous claim.

"Yeah. A... personal copy." Great, now you’re doubling down.

"With my name on it?" Silence, yet again. You could basically hear the dramatic music that the producers of any reality TV shows use in the background of any tense scene. But this isn’t scripted. No, all of this is improvised.

"... what are the odds?" you croak, feeling how your throat goes dry in real time. Neil scoffs in reply, shaking his head, and his grip on your shoulders tightens a tad before he lets go entirely. His expression is stern as he steps in front of you, leaning against the desk and crossing his shapely arms over his chest. For a moment, he’s silent, letting his eyes wander all over your form in a slow, appreciative way that makes your palms get sweaty. “You do know I have to call the police, don’t you?”

“What?” Your breath hitches in your lungs, and you blink a few times, almost in an attempt to shake yourself out of this very strange dream. “This… this is just one tape. Isn’t this kind of excessive?”

“Yeah, maybe it’s one tape today. But you’ve been coming here for weeks.” Your jaw drops, but you can’t seem to come up with an appropriate response. You’ve been had. For the past months, you were convinced that he only saw you as a little piece of eye candy wandering through the store, but he’s been seeing right through you all along. Now you definitely don’t feel like Catwoman anymore. When he notices that you’re not going to say anything, Neil continues.

“Did you really think we don’t have security cameras all over the place? Well, I’ve been watching you the entire time, playing along when you pretended to be all ditzy and cute. It’s not just one instance. It’s a whole case, baby. And you’ll go to jail.” That makes you break out of your stupor, and you can feel your pulse speeding up.

“No- wait, no, no, no. Please, can’t we just talk about this for one second?”

“I don’t bargain with thieves.” He’s smug. Too smug for your liking, considering that he’s threatening you with the loss of your precious, precious freedom.

“Please, I’ll do anything,” you plead, fixing him with the biggest puppy dog eyes you can muster in an attempt to appeal to the soft, awkward side of him. And he cracks. At least the tiniest bit.

“Maybe… maybe we can work something out. But I’ll need to search you first. Who knows what else you’re hiding.” He gestures for you to stand, and you get up from your seat, causing the leather cushioning to faintly squeak once again. “Spread your arms. To the side.”

Your expression settles into a pout, but you do as you’re told, much to Neil’s satisfaction. He returns to his previous position behind you and starts by touching your shoulders, slowly trailing his hands down your arms. His fingers leave tingles behind on your skin, and you’re even more aware of how close he’s gotten when you feel his breath on the back of your neck. His cheeky hands continue to wander, making their way down your sides, softly squeezing around your waist before he moves on to your hips. You try to think about it as a TSA search, but it’s a little hard to do when his hands linger for much longer than necessary on your thighs and your calves as he crouches down. Once he’s satisfied, he straightens back up, and you almost think he’s done before he leans in to rasp into your ear.

“You’re gonna have to take your clothes off… so I can search you more thoroughly.”

Your heart skips a beat, and you’re about to protest, but he’s already pulling your top off, tossing it aside before he moves on to your shorts. A sigh escapes him as he pulls them down along with your panties, and he doesn’t give you even a second to recover before he’s gripping and caressing the curves of your body. Leaning his chin on your shoulder, he runs his fingers over your hips, feeling how your skin warms beneath his touch. “Take your bra off.”

“What? There’s no way I could be hiding a tape in there –“ In response, Neil lightly pinches your thigh, causing you to jump a little and let out a soft whine. Seems like there’s no way around it. With shaky hands, you reach behind yourself to unclasp your bra, and Neil leans back ever so slightly to give you the space to move. That is, until your tits are exposed, and his body is glued against yours once more. The feeling of his hardening cock pressing up against your ass sends heat into your core, and you instinctively clench your thighs together. Of course, this catches his attention.

“Ah, so you are hiding something.”

He wraps his arms around you, steering the two of you over to the mirror he hung on the wall next to his ridiculous little costume rack. You watch your own flushed expression as his hand slips between your legs to let his fingers trace over your already wet folds. With a groan, you try to avert your eyes before he corrects you with a rough grope of your breast.

“No. Eyes on yourself. I want you to see the guilt on your face while I search you.”

Reluctantly, your eyes return to the mirror, just in time for him to plunge a finger into your velvety pussy. Your lips part, and as much as you’d like to keep quiet, your resolve crumbles immediately when he finds that sweet spot inside of you. Within minutes, the office fills up with the sounds of your pleasure and the obscene squelching of his fingers in your wet cunt. And he’s thorough in his search, quickly working you up from one finger to three, making your toes curl against the checkered floor. For a moment, he drives you up to that delightful edge, only to pull his fingers out of you at the last second.

You don’t have the capacity to complain when he lifts his hand towards the light, showing off his glistening digits. Both of you are entranced by the sight, and Neil lets out a soft wheeze before he licks his fingers clean.

“Yeah, I made up my mind. Get over to the desk and bend over.”

“I have a boyfriend,” you whine, turning your head to give him your biggest puppy dog eyes.

“Well, you should’ve thought about it before you stole from me. Losing those rare tapes was a financial disaster for me. I’m risking this store. And I’m not gonna do it without something in return.” He finishes his sentence with a light smack to your ass which only manages to get you even more riled up. It’s hard to disagree with him when he knows just how to get you going.

Neil drags you back over to the desk, angling the camera in just the right way before he hurriedly tears his clothes off completely. The sight of his urgency makes your chest fill with butterflies, but you still need to protest. You have to!

“I don’t usually do this… what if my boyfriend finds out?”

“That’s one more reason to behave. You wouldn’t want him to see this little clip, right?” he asks, although the question is entirely rhetorical. You’d love to feel guilty, but you can’t bring yourself to it.

 His hands run from your shoulders down to your hips, kneading your flesh with the attentiveness of a potter crafting a masterpiece, and he leans over you to place open-mouthed kisses down your spine. You shiver, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth to stifle the noises that are threatening to escape your mouth. With a quick movement, Neil reaches under your knee to guide your leg on top of the desk, and you let out a soft sigh when you can feel your arousal rolling down the inside of your thigh as he spreads you open with two fingers.

“You know… nice girls wouldn’t get this wet in situations like these. Then again, you’re a filthy thief, so you’re the furthest thing from a good girl.”

Neil wraps one arm around your waist, pulling you back against his chest so he can latch back onto the side of your neck, sucking and biting while he uses his other hand to guide the tip of his cock against your drooling entrance. His naked skin against yours fills your head with need, and you press up against him a little more to feel him more closely as he slowly pushes inside your velvety cunt. Both of you let out a hiss, and Neil follows it up with a needy whimper as he stills for a moment.

“Fuck… oh fuck,” he breathes, causing your lips to twitch up in subtle amusement. Neil’s hand shakes as he adjusts the camera, making sure to get everything in frame, and in this moment, you clench around him on purpose, causing him to moan right into your ear. “Jesus Christ, don’t do that –”

The slap to your ass is meant to punish you, but it’s doing the exact opposite, and you let him know this by moaning his name. His lips return to your pulse as he pushes his cock deeper into you, stretching you so perfectly that it sends goosebumps over your skin. Or maybe it’s because of his warm breath on your ear. Or his hands diligently kneading your tits. The cocktail of heated touches and sensations is literally making you feel drunk.

“Your cock feels so good,” you whine, causing him to suck in a sharp breath at the praise.

“Yeah?” he chuckles, bottoming out inside of you before he starts to set a slow, sensual rhythm. “You’re such a depraved little slut… getting off on your punishment. If only your boyfriend knew.”

Neil rolls his hips against yours, drawing a moan from both of you that would fit perfectly on the set of a porno. Maybe you’re hamming it up a little to feed his ego. But that isn’t very hard to do when he fills you up so deliciously, making you wetter with every thrust.

You’re already starting to feel breathless when he slowly speeds up, drilling into your dripping pussy with even more fervor. Words are starting to become a little difficult, but you try your best anyway. “You’re better than him. SO much better –“

Your reward is a second smack – aimed at your chest this time.

“You’re damn right I am,” he groans, sucking another hickey into your skin and adding to the little necklace of bruises he’s been placing around your neck. “Suck these for me, will you?”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion, but it doesn’t last long when he brings his fingers up to your mouth, and you eagerly latch onto his digits, still faintly tasting yourself from earlier. You suck them down to the knuckle, running your tongue in between them in a way that makes him groan and pound your cunt even harder. Once his fingers are sufficiently coated in your saliva, he pulls them free from your lips and reaches between your legs to rub your clit.

The one leg you’ve been standing on threatens to give out immediately, but he holds you up with his other arm, and gently guides your hands into place to better support yourself on the desk. Neil nuzzles his face into your hair, breathing heavily against the shell of your ear.

“If you promise not to steal ever again, I might let you cum on my cock.”

His words are intercepted by quiet grunts and whimpers, and you find yourself agreeing pretty quickly, blabbering out promise after promise.

“I’ll never – never steal again! I swear, I swear, I swear, please! Please, please let me cum –!”

You’re almost not recognizing your own voice due to the desperately needy tone that’s laced through your pleading, but Neil doesn’t mind. Quite the opposite, really, because you can feel his thrusts picking up in intensity. He rewards your obedience by rubbing your clit a little faster, and you have to bite your knuckle as to not cry out his name. Fuck, it’s only noon and you’re approaching your release at breakneck speed.

“Fuck… I – I’m close,” you breathe, turning your head to look at him from over your shoulder. His teeth are back in your neck as he kisses and bites at your skin, and his voice sounds strained as he answers you.

“Go ahead… let go for me. If only your boyfriend knew, hm?”

That’s it. Your orgasm rips through you, and you let out a whine as you claw at the surface beneath you. Neil is generous enough to let you ride out your climax, but you can tell how impatient he is when he suddenly pulls out, swallowing heavily.

 “On your back.” He doesn’t have to tell you twice. It’s a little awkward, but you manage to scramble and reposition yourself, lying back against the desk and looking up at him with flushed cheeks and tousled hair. Neil is in the same state, licking his lips and swallowing dryly as he guides his cock back into your cunt, aided by his thumb on the base of his length.

“Fuck… how can you still be this tight? Shit, FUCK…” He’s cursing and muttering under his breath, having half a brain to readjust the still rolling camera as to not miss a single second. His hands guide your legs around his waist, and he leans over you, staring at you through blown out pupils that clash against the vibrant intensity of his ocean gaze. His pretty face is red, and sweat beads on his forehead, causing his hair to stick to his skin. Without thinking, you reach up to push it back, causing both of you to still for a second before Neil finds his tone again.

“M’gonna fill you up… and send you back home to your boyfriend with a creampie in that pretty cunt. Alright? Alright.”

You can only nod in response, hearing your own racing heartbeat in your ears along with his continued grunts and moans. His hands on you are gentle, but his thrusts definitely aren’t as he pounds you against the desk. Neil’s hips smack against yours, causing every novelty item around the two of you to tremble along to your feverish rhythm. You tilt your head back but he goes after you, finally capturing your lips in a hungry kiss that he’s been trying to hold back from the entire time. But now that he’s rapidly approaching his own climax, the self-restraint is completely out of the window.

Your tongues clash, and you moan into his mouth when his hands find yours, linking your fingers together. Neil’s lips faintly taste of iced coffee as he licks against your tongue, and your grip on his hands tightens when his movements start to become erratic.

Your lips stay locked the entire time, even as he lets out a guttural groan when he finishes inside of you, thrusting into you a few more times to push it in as deep as possible. Finally, he stills and pulls away from you, unable to resist stealing one last peck from your swollen lips. You’re still breathing heavily as his hands roam over your body once more, relishing the feeling of your skin beneath his fingertips. Now that he has material on you and you promised not to steal again, he’s gentle. Almost too gentle, and you have to clear your throat to snap him out of it.

Neil catches himself, blinking down at you with soft eyes while he wipes some sweat off his brow. There’s a subtle twitch in his lips that tells you that he’d love to keep touching you, but he’s aware of the setting you’re in. Almost reluctantly, he pulls out of you to let you retrieve your clothes. While you’re getting dressed, he checks the camera and stops the recording before he speaks up.

“You’re free to go, then. You know what happens if I catch you stealing again, right?”

The question prompts you to nod in response, and you mumble out a “yes” as you pull your top back over your head. Once Neil confiscates the VHS from your purse, you’re free to exit the store on trembling legs, cringing a little at the feeling of your combined fluids leaking into your underwear. But God, this heist was worth it.

INT. YOUR PLACE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

As expected, the house is quiet when you get home, and you let out a deep, satisfied sigh as you throw yourself onto the couch to decompress for a moment.

Not even 20 minutes pass until the front door opens, and you hear familiar footsteps. A lazy smile spreads over your face, and you sit up, watching you boyfriend as he kicks off his shoes and throws his jacket over the coat rack on the wall. He makes his way over, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to your lips, and your vision is filled by ocean eyes and faint freckles. Neil chuckles softly, placing the camera onto the coffee table before he sinks down on the couch next to you and pulls you close. “I’m glad Lucien agreed to take over the rest of the day.” You hum in agreement, closing your eyes when he brushes his fingers through your hair to massage your scalp.

“I think that was our best one yet.”

FIN.

tags: @ellebelleshelby @cilliansprincess @mcumorningstar @x0xomady @mandies24 @detroitbecomevenom @pretty-bluebird @ink5ouls (couldn't tag) @flwrs4aust @vampmary1411 @ashdrinksoatmilk @luvizuku @nnattu @ptolemaniac @kiss-me-cill-me @celebrities-imagines

[krirebr]

Caught Up in Your Trap

Pairing: dark!Andy Barber x f!reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You spend your first day in your new home. Part of the Trapped AU.

Warnings: Dark elements, kidnapping, human trafficking, drugging, training, punishment, isolation, injury, forced intimacy - Just trust me when I say that this is dark. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Masterlist

A/N: Oh my god, you guys. Uh, happy sin day, I guess?? 🤣 Because I am apparently incapable of just leaving a one-shot alone, this is a prequel to I Don't Want a Lot for Christmas spurred by some unhinged 4 AM thots. It is definitely the darkest thing I've written so far. Whoops.

Big thanks as always to @paperweight91 who was not only the fantastic sounding board she always is, and let me ramble on about all my research into furnaces of all things but also helped me figure out the title for both this fic and the greater AU it's now a part of (🤦🏻‍♀️ Seriously, Kris, just stop!). Hat tip to Bruce Springsteen for both, as well. I'm sure he'd be thrilled. 😂

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screeching at me. As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

Andy pulled up at the address he’d been given, more surprised than he should have been that it was an abandoned warehouse. Of course, this sort of deal would be completed there. He should have known from the sorts of channels he’d had to go through to set it up. Connections left over from his days in the DA’s office. Well, that wasn’t the side of the law he was on anymore. 

He walked into the large open space that made up most of the building to find a man standing in the middle of a few folding chairs. He had a neatly trimmed mustache and was wearing sharp but tight clothing. He wasn’t who caught Andy’s attention, though. No, that was you, slumped over in one of the chairs, wearing the clothes you must have been taken in. Even like this, he could tell your pictures hadn’t done you justice. You were absolutely perfect. Or you would be, once he was done.

“Barber!” the man called out, a satisfied smirk raising his mustache. “How nice of you to join us!”

“Hansen,” Andy answered evenly. He nodded at you, “She ok?”

“Oh, she’s fine. Just on enough horse tranqs to move her across the country without her realizing it. She’ll only be out for another day or so.”

Andy walked over to you. “I’m sure you don’t mind if I check for myself. With the amount of money I’m paying you.” Hansen gestured for him to go ahead, so he placed a gentle hand on the pulse in your neck, pleased to feel that it was strong and steady. He took a step back and opened the untraceable banking app on his phone. He clicked the transfer button, moving an ungodly amount of money from his numbered account in the Caymans to the account Lloyd had given him. “Alright,” he said, “the money’s in your account.”

The other man snapped his fingers and someone appeared out of the shadows, holding a tablet. “And I’m sure you don’t mind,” Hansen said as the new man tapped his screen, “if I check for myself. With the amount of work I’ve done for you.”

They all waited in tense silence for the confirmation of the transfer to come through. Andy couldn’t take his eyes off you, eager to finally get you home. After everything he’d been through, this was what he deserved. The perfect wife, the perfect family, the perfect life. And he was going to do it right this time, taking full control until he had exactly what he wanted. Nothing left to chance. It was costing him a pretty penny, but it was worth it.

The man with the tablet nodded at Hansen, who clapped his hands together. “Alright!” he said. “Let’s get this done. My men will get her settled in your car while we finish up.” Two more men came out from the edge of the room and started to put their hands on you. Andy couldn’t help the growl that came out of him. Hansen laughed. “Don’t worry, Mr. ADA, they won’t hurt your precious new wife. You have my word.” 

Andy gave a hesitant nod, as they carried you out of the warehouse, clicking the unlock button on his car fob so that they could get you settled. He didn’t take his eyes off you until you were gone.

Hansen reached down and picked up a thick folder. “Everything you’ll need is in here. Everything for her new identity, all in order, all immaculate. Marriage license. Anything from her old life you might need. Although I’d get what you need from those quickly and then burn them.” 

Andy took the folder and briefly paged through it. New birth certificate, social security card, IDs, passport. Everything he’d need to start your new life. He put the folder in his briefcase. “Thank you. Anything else?”

Hansen smirked again. “Eager to get started?” He leered in the direction you’d disappeared. “Can’t say I blame you.”

Andy cleared his throat, not appreciating the way Hansen was talking about what was his. “Yes, I would like to get us both home. Are we done here?”

“Sure sure. You have a good time now,” he smirked.

Andy gave him a curt nod and then exited in the direction Hansen’s men had taken you. There was no sign of them by his car, but you were laid out across the backseat. He opened the door and leaned in to brush a gentle finger across your cheek. He wouldn’t be able to relax until you were secured inside his home. It was so close now.

This wasn’t your room. You’d woken up some time ago (you couldn’t say how long ago exactly. There were no clocks, no windows) in the most comfortable bed you’d ever felt. You thought it might swallow you up, it was so soft. Luxurious. The whole room was that way. Beautiful. Rich. You were dressed in a satin nightgown that wasn’t at all like anything you owned. You tried very hard not to think about the fact that someone must have changed you. The door was locked from the outside, a small keypad right under the doorknob. You tried banging on the door. Yelling for someone. Nothing. A quick exploration of the room hadn’t yielded anything either – the two other doors were also locked, a dresser held only men’s clothing. So you’d spent the last who knows how long just laying in the bed, trying not to panic or cry. You weren’t very successful at either.

The most disturbing thing you’d discovered since you’d woken up here was the set of rings on your left hand. One featured a large diamond, the other was a simpler band filled with comparatively tiny diamonds. The bands were fused together like you remembered your mom’s engagement and wedding rings being. It took a long time to normalize your breathing after that discovery.

Just as you were about to drift asleep again, for want of anything else to do, you heard a few soft beeps, the lock click, and the doorknob move. You leaped up and huddled in the far corner of the room between the wall and the bed, holding a pillow in front of you. There was nothing else in the room to use to defend yourself. Even the lamps were bolted down – you’d checked. 

The door slowly opened and a man walked in. He was tall, over 6 feet, and broad. He had dark, soft-looking hair, and a well-kept beard. He wore a gray cotton tee and jeans. If your adrenaline hadn’t been spiking, you would have found him so handsome. But as it was, you pushed yourself further into the corner.

He was carrying a tray, which he set down on one of the nightstands. From your vantage point, you could see a glass of water and a bowl. You weren’t feeling inclined to take anything from this man.

Your eyes cautiously tracked him as he came around to the foot of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice deep but gentle.

You didn’t say anything, just kept watching him. He leveled you with a stern look that sent a chill down your spine. His voice was much more rigid when he said, “I expect an answer when I ask a question, sweetheart.” 

You ignored him again, instead asking, “Who are you?”

He took a deep breath, flexing both hands. Extreme irritation passed over his face before it was replaced with a practiced calm. He sat at the foot of the bed and patted the space next to him. “Come sit,” he said. You didn’t move. “Now,” he growled. Something in his tone made it clear, not only that he would move you himself if he had to, but even more so, that you didn’t want it to come to that. You got up and sat on the far edge of the bed. He reached over and grabbed your arm hard, dragging you into his side. You cried out but he shushed you. “Alright,” he said, “I will answer your question once you answer mine. How are you feeling?”

This was the most scared you’d ever been. You had to take a few deep breaths before you were able to say. “I have a headache and I’m a little nauseous. And I’m very scared.”

He gently took your hand in his and cooed at you. “That’d be the drugs they used to knock you out. You’ll feel better when they’re completely out of your system. Eating will help. You can have some soup once we’re done talking.” He paused, for what you didn’t know. You didn’t say anything. He smiled. “You can ask your question now. Good girl waiting for permission.” 

Your head swung to look at him. That hadn’t been what you were doing. Had it? You were woozy and scared and just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. That was most important, so you let his comment go and repeated your question. “Who are you?”

He squeezed your hand. “I’m your husband, sweetheart. My name is Andy.”

That was the answer you’d been terrified of since you’d seen the rings on your finger. He was fucking crazy. He had to be. The best you could do right now was to get as much information out of him as you could. “And where are we? Is this your house?” You were trying to keep your voice steady, but you could hear the tremor in it.

“This is our house, sweetheart. Just outside Boston.”

Your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up in panic. “Boston?? No– That’s– How did I get here?!” This was even worse than you thought. You were nowhere near home, nowhere near anything familiar.

He just looked at you for a moment with narrowed eyes. Then he nodded and said, “Ok, I’m going to be honest and explain it to you, because I think it will help you understand your place here. But in the future, you need to know that I don’t appreciate having to explain myself. Good wives don’t question their husband's actions. Now, since I’m going out of my way to make this clear for you, I expect you to sit quietly and listen. Can you do that for me?”

You clenched your hands into fists, wanting to rage at him for how he was speaking to you like a child, but you knew you needed this information. You needed everything you could get if you were going to get out of here, so you tried to control your breathing and nodded.

He looked at you like he wanted to scold you for something, but then visibly changed his mind and began. “I’ve had a hard life, the last few years especially, I’ve been through a lot. Things haven’t turned out the way they were supposed to. I wanted a family. I thought I had one, but– It wasn’t how it was supposed to be, and then I lost even that. I wanted to try again, but I couldn’t put in all that effort without a guarantee that I wouldn’t wind up with nothing again.

“I’m a lawyer. I used to work as an ADA and now I’m in defense. In both jobs, I’ve made a lot of connections with people from different walks of life. Through that, I found a man who provides a service – if you let him know what you’re looking for, he’ll find you a person who fills those needs. So I told him that I was looking for someone to build a family with, a good wife. He presented me with a few options, and I chose you. For a hefty price, his men picked you up and brought you here. They also put together all new paperwork for you, a whole new identity. The old you doesn’t exist anymore, do you understand? You’re Mrs. Barber now, property of your husband. I bought and paid for you. I own you, every part of you.”

You saw his hand start to move toward your thigh and you jumped up, quickly pressing yourself against the wall. You just stared at him for a moment and then the panic truly hit you, but this time, it was accompanied by blinding anger. “That’s human trafficking, you complete fucking psycho! The fuck is wrong with you?!” Once you’d started screaming, you couldn’t stop. “You can’t just buy a wife, you fucking cuck! I’m a person! People are going to look for me!” He stood up and came at you and you swung out with your fists, your nails, your knees, whatever you fucking could. You connected a few times, drew a grunt from him before he somehow pinned your wrists behind your back. You screamed as loud as you could, but it did nothing. 

He frog-marched you out of the room as he said, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this so soon, but you need a timeout, honey. Some time to calm down in the quiet room, and then we can try again and go over the rules. You just need some time to think by yourself.”

You tried to pay attention as he pushed you through what looked like a little apartment: a living room, a kitchenette. He stopped at an innocuous-looking door with a keypad on it, just like the one in the bedroom. He turned you away so you couldn’t see as he entered the code, one hand still keeping your wrists in a bruising grip. Before you’d even realized he’d opened the door, he was shoving you into the room so hard you briefly left the ground. The door slammed shut behind you. You hit the floor hard and groaned. You stumbled up onto your hands and knees. You heard another beep, then the grinding of a lock. Then nothing.

The room was pitch black. You weren’t even sure where the door was now, as there wasn’t any light coming through the cracks. You crawled around, trying to get an idea of the space. It was small and empty as far as you could tell. But there was a low rumbling noise that seemed to fill the room. You couldn’t pinpoint the source just from listening, it felt like it was coming from everywhere. The floor under your hands was bare, concrete. Your hands brushed through cobwebs and other detritus you couldn’t see. You cautiously held a hand out as you continued to try to map out the room, terrified you’d smack your face right into the wall. It made contact with something hot and sharp. You pulled it back with a hiss, pain radiating through your palm. You felt the first few wet drops. Shit. You were bleeding. You’d cut yourself. Fuck. “Hey!” you called out as loud as you could. There was no answer. “Hey!” you tried again, “I’m hurt! I’m bleeding!” No response. “WHAT THE FUCK?” You were screaming now. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! LET ME OUT!” Nothing. God, this room was already lightproof, maybe it was soundproof, too. He wouldn’t be able to hear you, wouldn’t know you were hurt. You couldn’t tell how badly you’d cut your hand so you raised it above your head, hoping that might at least slow down the bleeding. It was dirty you were sure. God, how long did it take for cuts to get infected? You hoped you wouldn’t find out. You didn’t even know what you’d cut it on. What if it was rusty? Shit, when was your last tetanus booster? You couldn’t remember exactly. Fuck. You really didn’t want to die from tetanus in some random basement in Massachusetts. A tear rolled down your cheek. He couldn’t leave you in here too long, could he? No. He would come get you soon.

You had no idea how long you’d been sitting in the dark, your knees pulled up to your chest, one arm wrapped around them, the other still held in the air. Your shoulder was so sore, but you were too worried to lower your hand. You wished you could see the cut, know exactly how bad it was. You wished you knew how much time had passed. With no frame of reference, no external indicators, you were afraid you’d lost the ability to tell the difference between hours and minutes. It’d been hours. It had to have been hours. How long was he going to leave you here? He had to come back soon. He had to. You took some perverse comfort in the fact that he’d spent a lot of money on you. That had to mean that he wouldn’t just leave you here. He’d want a return on his investment. You tried to ignore the chills that thought gave you.

You’d been crying on and off. It made you feel pathetic but what else were you supposed to do? The panic, too, ebbed and flowed. You’d been trying to keep your breathing even, trying to ignore how small the space was, how dirty, how dark. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. It wasn’t doing much to calm you, but at least it gave you something to focus on. 

Just as a fresh wave of tears overtook you, a blinding light came in, directly opposite you. You squinted and raised your uninjured hand in front of your eyes, but that didn’t do much to help.

“Oh sweetheart,” Andy’s voice cooed, before gently lifting you by your arms and herding you out. He half-carried you through the finished part of the basement while your eyes continued to adjust. Before you knew it, you were back in the bedroom you’d started in. He gently sat you down on the edge of the bed and crouched in front of you. You felt dazed. The room was too bright. You didn’t know how you could keep breaking the record for the most scared you’d ever been. There had to be a ceiling, a limit. You’d hit it soon, wouldn’t you? 

You still had your hand raised and cradled to your chest. Andy touched your wrist and you flinched. He raised an eyebrow in question and you whispered, “I got hurt.” He sighed and gently tugged at your wrist again. This time you let him guide your arm down, moving your hand so you both could see it. It was a little grimy and definitely red, slightly swollen maybe. There was a little dried blood, but not much. The cut was so much more shallow than you’d imagined when you were trapped in that room alone. You felt incredibly foolish. You’d thought you were going to lose your hand over a glorified paper cut. 

Andy carefully moved his thumb over a raised patch under the cut that you now realized was a minor burn. “Did you touch the furnace?” The furnace – that’s what’d been making that noise. That’s what you’d cut yourself on. That’s where he’d thrown you. What the fuck? You were lucky you hadn’t hurt yourself even worse. You looked up from your hand to see him frowning at you. “Why would you do that? Sweetheart, you have to be more careful. That was a very stupid thing to do.” He got up and walked into the ensuite, opening a cabinet under the sink.

Was he seriously scolding you for getting hurt in a dangerous room he’d locked you in?? The rage from earlier was starting to return, but it was still tempered by your fear. You did your best to keep your voice even when you replied, “It was completely dark in there. I couldn’t see anything.” A little growl came through your words, but it wasn’t anything compared to what you were actually feeling.

He came back holding a small first-aid kit. “Well then that’s a good reason to keep your hands to yourself, isn’t it?” He sat down and opened the kit, pulling out a few wipes and beginning to somewhat roughly clean your hand. “Sweetheart, I’m here to take care of you. That’s my job as your husband. But I need you to be a good girl and not put yourself in harm’s way.”

“You threw me in there!” you said, your voice starting to get louder, despite your best efforts to keep calm.

“Because you were bad and needed a time-out!” he yelled back at you. He threw the dirty wipes into the trashcan beside the bed and took a deep breath, visibly calming himself. He grabbed an ointment from the kit and began applying it to your hand. “That’s why we’re going to talk about rules now. They’re there to keep you safe and both of us happy. When you don’t follow them, something like this can happen.”

You didn’t say anything. You had to be smart if you were ever going to get out of here and antagonizing him wasn’t smart. He didn’t seem to expect a response anyway as he just silently placed a bandage on your hand and then got up and put the kit away. He came back and sat right next to you, turning so he could look into your eyes. You tried to turn your head away, but he grabbed your chin and forced eye contact. 

“Alright,” he said, his tone already so fucking patronizing. “A good thing that came out of your little tantrum is that now we know the areas we need to focus on most for improvement – manners, respect, and attitude. I did some thinking during your quiet time too, and I’ve adjusted your training schedule to focus on these things. It’ll be good for both of us.”

What the actual fucking fuck? “Training schedule?” was all you managed to get out.

Andy nodded. “I’m sure you’ve figured out that we’re in the basement right now. I have a beautiful big house upstairs that I can’t wait to show you. But you’re going to have to earn it first, prove to me that you know how to be good, that I can trust you before we can go upstairs. That’s what the training will do. I’m going to teach you exactly how to be perfect for me, everything I want, and in return I’m going to give you a perfect life, so much better than what you had before. We’re going to be so happy together, sweetheart. I promise.

“Now, it’s going to take time. I understand that. And I’m going to be patient with you. I know what your life was like before. I know that you probably never expected that you’d ever get to have this. Change can be scary. Dreams coming true, it’s scary. But I’ll be here to guide you through it all. I’m going to give you everything and all I ask of you in return is that you be good for me. That’s all.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to sob. What the hell was this? How could this man, this stranger, be so completely deranged? Be smart, you chanted to yourself. Be smart be smart be smart. And if you opened your mouth now, you knew exactly what would come out. So you kept it shut and let him continue.  

“So first, let’s talk about your tantrum. I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way. The language and the names, it’s unacceptable. So, no swearing going forward. And I think a good rule for you while we’re downstairs will be for you to address me as Sir. Once we’ve moved upstairs, you’ll be allowed to call me Andy, but whenever we’re down here, it’s Sir. Do you understand?” He looked at you expectantly. You clenched your jaw and nodded. “I expect a verbal response when I speak to you, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” you gritted out. He raised an eyebrow at you and his gaze hardened. It took you a moment to realize your mistake. “Yes, sir,” you corrected yourself.

“Very good. As your husband, I expect you to give me the respect I deserve. That’s something we’ll work on. It’s very important that you don’t question me. I know what’s best for you and you need to trust that I will give you whatever information you need to have. If I haven’t told you something, it’s because you don’t need to know, ok?”

He paused again. What kind of Stepford hell was this? What had you done to deserve this? You took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Then, finally, you were able to force out a “Yes, sir.”

He smiled. “You’re so smart, sweetheart. You’ll be upstairs in no time. Now, you’ll start learning your routine tomorrow. I’ve taken some time off work for our honeymoon, so I’ll have plenty of time to get you settled and acclimated. We’ll go over wardrobe and makeup requirements in the morning too. Now,” he slapped his thighs and stood up, “your soup from earlier went cold, so how about I go get you a fresh bowl while you take a quick shower and get all that dust and grime from the Quiet Room off you?”

You held back a grimace at him calling that room that, as he walked over to one of the other doors and unlocked it. He talked to you like you were a child. All of this was so fucked up. But a shower sounded incredible. You had no idea how long it’d been since you’d had one. So you just nodded and let out a quiet, “Yes, sir.”

He beamed at you. “Everything you’ll need is in the bathroom. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”

You stood and waited til he was out the door, listening to the beeps and grinding locks once he was gone. Shit. You were really fucked. You went into the bathroom and closed the door behind you. There was no lock on the inside. Of course, there wasn’t. 

You didn’t waste much time in the bathroom, desperate for a hot shower. You vaguely registered that the counter was stocked with all sorts of beauty aids – expensive lotions and serums like he’d bought out a department store beauty counter. The shower too, was equally well stocked. So much fancier than the Target sale items you usually stocked your bathroom with. But the shower felt incredible and that’s what you chose to focus on. 

When you were finished, you came out of the shower to see that the bathroom door was open. You could hear Andy moving around in the bedroom. You shuddered and quickly wrapped a plush towel around yourself. There was a fresh nightgown waiting for you, soft pink, all silk and lace. You grimaced and wondered what you’d need to do to get a pair of sleep shorts and an old T-shirt to sleep in. Probably more than you were willing to do, if it was even possible. You dried off quickly and slipped the nightgown on. 

When you exited the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed, the tray of food sitting next to him. There was a bowl of soup and a cup of water, along with a small plate with a few crackers. The dishes and utensils were all plastic. Nothing you could hurt him with. You sat down and watched him carefully as you lifted the tray onto your lap. He didn’t say anything so it must have been allowed. Your hand shook as you brought the first spoonful up to your lips. The soup was warm, not hot, certainly not scalding. Another hope dashed. Throwing it at him would only result in him getting wet. And angry. Not worth it. 

As you ate, you realized just how hungry you actually were. The nausea from whatever drugs you’d had had covered it up, but you were starving. You barely even tasted the soup, you just needed to eat. God, how long had it been since you’d had food? You wouldn’t bother asking Andy. You knew he wouldn’t give you an answer.

After he watched you eat for a few minutes, he said, “What do you say, sweetheart?”

God, he used that word like it was your name. It made you want to scream. You swallowed down all your anger and a spoonful of soup before you said, “Thank you, sir.” 

He gave you a satisfied smile. “See,” he said, “I knew you had good manners.”

You shoved the spoon into your mouth to prevent any sort of comeback. This fucking asshole. Luckily he let you eat the rest of your meal in peace. But he never took his eyes off you.

Once you were done, Andy put the tray on the dresser and then declared it bedtime. You watched him cautiously, as he went to the dresser and took out a pair of boxers and a cotton tee. He changed right in the middle of the room and you turned your head away. You caught flashes of skin, that if he’d been anyone else, in any other circumstances, would have had you drooling. It was becoming hard to breathe again. What else would he demand from you tonight?

You chanced a glance back up at him to find him changed and staring at you. You swallowed nervously. “Come here,” he said firmly, holding his hand out to you. You slowly, so slowly, made your way to him. As soon as you were in reach, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you the rest of the way in so that you were nestled into his chest. “I know,” he said, stroking one hand down your back, “that we’re both thinking about our first time together, but I’d like to wait.” He ran the fingers of his other hand down the strap of your nightgown, slipping onto your bare skin. “Give you a chance to get fully adjusted. Give us both a chance to get to know each other.” His voice slipped down an octave as his fingers traveled across your chest. Your body bowed to get away from him, but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “Give us a chance to enjoy each other.” His breath hitched as his hand traveled down to your breast, the other hand on your back had stilled, holding you close, stopping you from getting away. He moved his head as close as he could to yours and whispered, “I want it to be special.” Then, before you could try to back away, he was kissing you. It was firm and demanding, giving you no option but to let it happen. He angled his growing erection into your thigh, and with the way he was holding you, you couldn’t lean away from it. His tongue forced its way into your mouth and you couldn’t help the way you whimpered. It felt like it might go on forever, when he finally pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m so happy you’re mine,” he whispered. 

And then he was out of your space, leaving you trying to breathe again, alone in the middle of the room, as he climbed into the bed. You just stood there, unsure of what to do, your lips still tingling. Once he was settled on the side of the bed closest to the door, he called your name. “Come to bed now,” he said, and there was no mistaking it for anything other than an order. You ducked your head and climbed onto the bed, terrified of what might come next, but also desperate for sleep. This day had left you exhausted and confused and scared and so angry. It was all too much.

You tried to lie down as close to the edge as you could, but he pulled you in close so that your back was flush to his front, his arm thrown over your waist. “I'm so proud of you,” he whispered into your hair, “getting through your first day without having to go to the punishment room.”

Your mouth went completely dry. A room you hadn’t been to. Somewhere worse than the quiet room. “What's–” your tongue struggled to form the words. You took a breath and tried again. “What's the punishment room?” You caught yourself at the last minute and added a quiet “Sir.”

His hand caressed your side. “You keep being my good girl and you won't have to find out.”

Tag list is open

@stargazingfangirl18 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @foulpersonahandsvoid

[out-of-the-forest-i-come]

Queer romance recs for the summer

Summer is here and I know many like to read more lighthearted books during that time, so here are some queer romances I've really enjoyed and that I think are perfect for the summer.

Anything by F.T. Lukens. Most specifically, those I've read are So This Is Ever After, In Deeper Waters, and Otherworldly. If you're looking for cute queer romantasy novels to read this summer, look no further. F.T. Lukens' books are fun and lighthearted even when they deal with heavier topics, and they contain mlm, mlnb, and nb rep.

Running Close to the Wind by Alex Rowland. I've talked about this book before and I'll probably talk about it many more times because I adored it. It's hilarious and refreshing even though it handles some heavy topics, so if you like pirates, accidental treason, and dirty jokes, this book is perfect for you. In terms of representation, it has polyamory rep, various sexualities, and intersex (if I remember correctly) and non-binary rep.

Gwen and Art Are Not In Love by Lex Croucher. This book is an adorable, fun romance set in a historical setting inspired by Arthurian times. It's perfect if you're looking for not one but two forbidden romances, banter and adventure, humour, and wlw and mlm rep.

Delilah Green Doesn't Care by Ashley Herring Blake. I remember I absolutely loved this book when I read it during the summer a couple of years ago, and my feelings after two years are still the same. This book is an adult romance novel (with one or two sex scenes) with vivid and complex characters, amazing sapphic rep, and a fantastic romance. Even better, it's a completed trilogy, and though I've yet to read the two other books, I'm sure they're great too.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. You've probably already heard of this one, and it is a book I've really enjoyed. Carry On is fun and captivating, and reads easily.

She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick. A cute love story inspired directly from the real-life romance between the authors (who are married, if I'm not mistaken), and a great way to cheer yourself up.

Café con Lychee by Emery Lee. I read this book a couple years ago already, but it was super cute and it read so easily that I finished it in a day. If you're looking for a light-heared, coming-of-age mlm romance, then this is the book for you.

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall. Last but not least, one of my favourite books from last year. Boyfriend Material is a hilarious mlm romance that somehow manages to be a light read even though it deals with some dark topics. The characters are amazing, their relationship and how it develops even more so, and this book was an immediate favourite for me. Some people have disliked the sequel, Husband Material, but I loved it just as much, and the third and final book is due to come out some time next year.

[th3lovely1]

Emily Engstler x Actress! Reader

♡♡♡♡♡

- Written in headcannon form

- Possessive Emily??

- Should I make a part 2?

♡♡♡♡♡

● Being an actress has its ups and downs especially while being with Emily. You're acting in all of these movies and whatnot when Emily is dealing with basketball, so you guys are going to be busy a bit. It was something that you guys had to get used to but it worked out after a few conversations(cause with Emily yk it'd have to take a bit).

● Speaking of being busy, whenever either of you has to travel you guys ALWAYS make sure to call before bedtime. It doesn't even matter if you were too busy to talk throughout the day but the both of you always make sure to call each other at night. Sometimes you guys won't talk a lot and other times you'll talk for hours. But it just depends on how the day was. The good thing though is that Emily is always there to listen. In fact, she even encourages it most times.

"No, you're all good, baby. Keep on talking. I wanna hear how your day was"

AND HER TIRED VOICE OMG!!

● She will never EVER get tired of bragging about you. Whenever anyone asks who she's with she automatically pulls out her phone to show them sooooo many photos and all the shows/movies you were in. And most times they'll stand there like 🧍‍♀️ while she's going on a big rant about you.

"Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend. She's been in this show, which is totally awesome, you'll have to watch it sometime. But she's also been in some other stuff too. Isn't she amazing?"

● But since you're an actress that means that you're popular with A LOT of people and we all know what that means. Luckily, you have Emily at your side who will not hesitate to throw hands for you. So if you're out in public and you both start noticing someone following you or if someone's just trying to be weird in general, she'll walk right up to them and confront them about what they're doing. And she's like 6ft so of course it's gonna be intimidating for the other person. After a few interactions with Emily your fans finally started to calm down. There have been times where you've had to stop her from fighting someone for your sake.

"Em, you can't do that! Everyone's looking!"

"So what?! They can't take a hint for shit!"

"Oh my god..."

● When you're out together she loves to always be touching you in some way. Like holding your hand, resting her hand on your back, or your arms touching while walking together. It's not even just because she's reminding your fans that you're together but also because it lets her know you're by her and safe.

● There have been times when people got weird with you and it made her worry about you WAYYYYY more. She definitely turned into a little helicopter parent for a bit. At first it was sweet but it was something that you guys had to talk about and manage.

● When you have premiers for your movies, she makes sure to come to every. single. one. And she makes sure that she's matching the theme too. She gets a little nervous sometimes but you're always there to help sooth her.

"Are you sure this looks okay? You look all pretty and perfect, and I'm just..."

"You look just fine, Em. Fantastic even. You have nothing to worry about"

"You think so?"

"I know so. Now let's go"

● All of the paparazzi was something that she had to get used to. She's dealt with people coming up to her for photos and stuff but with you, it was completely different. She makes sure to bring sunglasses with her at all times or things that she knows will hide you guys easily. She's even researched different ways to deal with paparazzi in hopes of helping both of you. If yk that one anti-paparazzi scarf? She got one for you.

● She's really understanding about how your guy's schedules work and so are you. So being busy and sometimes missing some things isn't too big of a deal unless it is really big or important. It is a rule to communicate about it after though.

● COMMUNICATION IS MF KEY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP!!! I can not stress that enough. She knows that you have all these fans and people looking at you so there are times when you have to reassure her. And being busy so much is another thing that had to be managed. There was a lot of talking when you guys first got together. But all of that just makes your relationship stronger.

[ninetailedfoxmanchi]

Mafia! BTS - They Are the Rival Boss Who Likes You (pt. 3)

A/N: I was completely unhinged when writing Jin, I'm just saying ... Jimin and Taehyung tho ...

Warnings: mentions of violence, weapons, abuse and trauma, sexual insinuation (dare I say smut?)

MASTERLIST

It has been a fortnight since you managed to escape your abusive relationship and it has been a fortnight since you moved in with M/N. You knew needed to find a place for yourself and yet there was none. You couldn't go back to your family or friends. Kang had them under surveillance in case you appeared at their doorstep and you knew he would kill both you as well as them if you did so. The first few days with M/N were the most difficult. You didn't know whether you could trust him; you felt like you were always threading on thin ice although there was no reason to. Every day grew easier and every day you became more comfortable around M/N. Although it has been months since you last felt any affection for Kang, you weren't sure whether getting involved with M/N would be a good idea after all that you have been through. You couldn't help it, though. The longer you stayed with him, the closer you became; getting to know him and being with him was so effortless ... M/N would not tell you anything about what was happening with Kang, though. Even if he thought he was protecting you, it did not drive you anything less insane.

Jin

The kitchen smelled fantastic with the fragrance of different dishes getting ready. You made yourself in charge of most of the meals, finding it was the least you could do for everything Jin has done for you. Although you have practically been confined to his apartment, Jin did everything in his power to make you comfortable and make you feel anything but trapped - if you even tried to contact much less stay with your family or any of your friends, Kang would know immediately. You did not care so much about yourself as you did for them and you would never do anything to put them in harm's way.

You were putting together the last bits and pieces when you heard a noise from the hallway. You thought it was Jin coming back early but when you approached the front door, it was the sound of struggles and muffled gunshots that you heard.

Your mouth parted in shock as your body began to tremble. You backed away from the door quickly and ran through the apartment. It was a skyscraper - there was no window you could jump through. You grabbed your phone at least before you ran for Jin's room. There has to be something, you thought, having been a part of this life for far too long. Your hands roamed the edges beneath Jin's bed, the bottom of his nightstand and the bed frame, where behind the headboard a heavy black gun fell into your hands. You had never held a gun before in your life but you knew more than enough.

The front door was opened by force and made you jump around. You slipped into the bathroom of Jin's room and closed the door behind you. There was nowhere to go but you were thinking fast. You had seen scenarios like this a thousand times in your head and in your nightmares. You opened the large bathroom cabinet and grabbed the towels and set them on one of the empty shelves beside the shower. You slipped inside the cabinet, fitting in painfully against the sink but you managed to close the doors, curled up with the gun to your chest. You texted Jin and put the phone on silent as small drops of sweat ran down your neck. You could hear the footsteps roam the apartment quietly, checking every room individually. You removed the safety lock on your gun, your finger resting snugly on the trigger as you stopped breathing entirely. The footsteps were in Jin's bedroom. Your eyes watered with tears but you blinked them away so quickly it was like they were never there in the first place.

The bathroom door opened.

"She's not here," said a deep male voice.

"He must have her in a safe house somewhere," said another man from Jin's bedroom. Your heart was beating wildly against your chest. Despite the men's words, you did not let down your guard. They could just be playing a trick on you if they knew your hiding place.

"Fuck!" cursed one of the men. He threw something against the wall. The gun in your clammy hands was wet from sweat. The cabinet was hot and let in little fresh air.

"Kang's going to be pissed when he hears," said the other and closed the bathroom door behind him, his voice muffled now.

"He's not going to be pissed, he's going to be pissed at us!" snarled the first and kicked something over.

"Fuck it, man ... Let's go," said the other before their footsteps began to recede. You listened carefully, the saliva in your mouth as thick as honey.

A bang echoed from the apartment, nearly making you pull the trigger. Your body cramped as shouting followed and more muffled gun sounds like the ones you heard from the hallway.

Your eyes widened. Jin.

You pushed open the doors of the cabinet, the cool fresh air giving you goosebumps. Your top stuck to your back and chest as you slowly turned the knob of the bathroom door. You peeked through the smallest crack but there was no one in the bedroom. You slipped from the bathroom, holding the gun with both hands as you hurried towards the hallway which led to the kitchen and living area. As you looked from behind the door of Jin's bedroom, you came face to face with an unfamiliar set of eyes. You rose your gun instinctively as did he, engaging in a nerve-wrecking staredown. Another figure appeared in your vision, a man lying by his feet with a bullet in the middle of his chest.

The young man lowered his weapon as you watched him closely. He had dark hair, an arm full of tattoos and a piercing in his lip. Behind him appeared Jin, his crisp white shirt blood-spattered. You lowered your gun, his gun, and allowed yourself a breath.

The other man left, tucking his gun behind his trousers. You let your own weapon drop to the floor. You wrapped your hands around Jin's neck as he pulled you into his arms with such force he feared he might break you.

"Thank god you are here," you repeated over and over again like whispering a prayer.

Jin tore away as his hands went to your cheeks and he kissed you without a warning. His soft lips moved against yours with longing so strong it knocked the breath out of your lungs. You responded immediately, your fingers tangling in his hair.

"Are you okay?" Jin asked against your lips, returning for another and another kiss as you nodded. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled yourself close to his chest.

Jin could feel your top soaked with cold sweat, your body shivering against his as your hands remained balled around his shirt. He saw his gun on the floor, the Glock you must have found behind the headboard. You told him what happened and where you hid so that they did not manage to find you. It did not matter though because both of Kang's men were dead now, lying on the floors of Jin's apartment.

Jin kissed your forehead before more of his men arrived to take care of the mess. If you thought the apartment was bad, you found the rest of the building a massacre. Jin told you not to look but it was impossible to take your eyes off all the dead and wounded guards. All of them died because of you.

When Jin saw the look in your eyes, he felt his chest on fire with fury. Kang had his men tell Jin he was willing to negotiate but it was all just a distraction so that he could get to you.

"I'm taking you somewhere safe," promised Jin as he made you look at him. "And then I am dealing with Kang for good."

Namjoon

You have been staying with Namjoon for two weeks now. It was strange in the beginning; although your instincts told you to trust him, you weren't sure whether you could. But every day seemed better than the last even if you were practically under some sort of house arrest. It was not that Namjoon wouldn't let you leave; you simply couldn't or you would endanger not only yourself but everyone you would interact with. Kang had his people everywhere ... But so did Namjoon.

He did not want to talk to you about Kang, much less about his business and how this - how you - affected everything. You nearly got into a fight about it a couple of times but you backed off the last moment. You were already staying with Namjoon, eating his food, using his things ... It was only fair for him to set some rules about how he wanted to handle everything.

"Do you want to find a different place?" asked Namjoon out of the sudden, raising his gaze from his tablet as the two of you were reading together in the living area. Your eyes reached his as you found yourself frozen for a moment.

"Sure," you agreed although you could not help but feel even worse than you did just feeling indebted with him for staying at his place. After Namjoon said he liked you you could not stop thinking about it and even began harboring some feelings of your own. But he must have changed his mind as he got to know you over the past two weeks. You were always together if he was not at work or somewhere else; it was impossible not to get to know one another.

You could not sleep that night. You tried to find a solution, someone you could stay with. You had some money you had saved on your account but getting an apartment of your own was not an option, not until you found a job first. Besides, Kang would see your name registered beneath it and would find you in the blink of an eye. Then an idea occurred to you - your mom had a godmother that lived in the country.

You found Namjoon drinking coffee in the kitchen as he scrolled through the news and fought off sleep. Your heart weighed heavy in your chest when you considered your presence might be bothering him. You went straight to the point.

"I think I found a place to stay," you said as you joined Namjoon at the kitchen counter. "My mom's godmother lives up in the country. I haven't seen his in years but we were close when I was a child ... Kang can't possibly know that she even exists," you told Namjoon. His eyes admitted a strange shadow that showed everything else but relief or happiness.

"I only need to get in contact with her, but then ... " you began again but Namjoon still wasn't saying anything.

"I got you an apartment," said Namjoon finally. "It's under an alias. Kang won't know you're there."

"Why?" you blurted. If Namjoon lent you an apartment, that would mean you would still remained in contact.

"What do you mean why?" asked Namjoon calmly and took a sip of his coffee. He was anything but calm, though; you knew him enough by now to see that. You just didn't know what was happening.

"I thought you wanted me gone," you said without thinking. Namjoon looked at you astounded.

"I never said that," Namjoon stood up now, his whole body tensed.

"Why did you ask me to leave then?" you breathed, your eyes locked on one another.

"I thought you wanted to leave," said Namjoon honestly. His voice fell as he looked around the room, his gaze eventually returning to your eyes.

"Why would you even think that?" you asked gently although your stomach twisted into knots.

"I'm more than aware that I'm not the easiest man to be around," said Namjoon. He knew he was demanding, he knew he did not relax easily and let his guard down even when he was no longer dealing with work. He did not want you involved in the situation with Kang any more than you needed to be but it often led into arguments.

"You are to me," you assured and took Namjoon's hand. "I will never be able to pay you back for everything that you did for me even if I lived a hundred lifetimes, but ..." I love staying with you, you thought but did not have the guts to say it; you felt guilty enough as it was.

Namjoon's dark eyes flickered between yours, his lips parted as he watched you thunderstruck. His heart threatened to leap from his chest when you took his hand.

"Fuck," muttered Namjoon before he kissed you with such force you nearly stumbled but his arms went around your waist already, steadying you against his strong frame. Your hands rested against his chest as you recovered from the initial shock and responded with your instincts. Namjoon's lips felt so good against yours that they made your arms cover in goosebumps. Namjoon began pulling away but you followed him, not ready to break the kiss. Namjoon took your waist and sat you up on the counter, your arms wrapped around his neck.

Yoongi

Yoongi seemed more distant the past few days than you were used to. He was quiet by nature but staying with him was as effortless as if you were in your own home. That did not mean that you did not feel guilty about burdening him with your presence, especially these past few days. You kept thinking about solutions and ways that you could move out but you could not return home to your parents or any of your good friends - Kang knew all of them. That is until you remembered another person that might be willing to help you, someone your ex-boyfriend never met or even heard of.

When you finally gathered the courage to go talk to Yoongi, you found him asleep on the sofa, the TV playing a series he liked to watch. You turned it off before you took a blanket and placed it gently over Yoongi's sleeping frame. He looked exhausted. Dark circles hung beneath his eyes and his skin was more papery than it was pearly.

Yoongi did not want you to thank him in the beginning, for anything. But seeing him like this and silent and gloomy when he returned to his apartment, you knew you had overstayed your welcome.

You made dinner came evening; it was the least you could do for Yoongi to allow you to stay here for so long. You gathered all of the dishes on the dining table and went to grab some water and two glasses. When you returned, you found Yoongi leaning against the door frame, a glass of whiskey in his hand. His dark eyes moved across the table to you.

"I made dinner," you said with a small smile although you were as anxious as if you were carrying a nest of sleeping hornets in your chest. "If you're hungry."

"Thank you," said Yoongi and you sat at the table. You ate in silence for a while then broke it at the same time.

"This is delicious—"

"Are you okay?" you asked carefully. Yoongi's pitch black eyes locked on you as he chewed, a strange and absent look on his face. He did not think it showed as much.

He nodded and took another bite from one of the side dishes. You watched him, a pang of guilt ripping through your chest.

"I've ... I've been meaning to talk to you," you began as you set down your chopsticks. Yoongi raised his gaze to you, suddenly fully present.

"My mom's stepdad ... He lives in the country; he's moved there with my grandmother when she was still alive. We haven't spoken in a while but he's alone now and elderly. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I came to stay for a while - he might even welcome it," you told Yoongi, leaning your forearms against the table.

"You're leaving?" asked Yoongi, his brows furrowing into a frown. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"It's not ideal but I never mentioned him to Kang," you spoke your ex's name with difficulty. "I'm sure it will be better than staying here."

Yoongi stared at you, his frown only deepening as he struggled to understand what was happening.

"Did something happen?" asked Yoongi quietly, his voice deep and raspy in his throat.

"What do you mean?"

"Did I do something?" asked Yoongi again in all seriousness. His voice remained calm as he wanted you to speak freely.

"No, of course not," you said quickly, surprised he would say something like that. "I thought you'd be happy ..."

"Why would I be happy that you're leaving?" asked Yoongi genuinely.

You found yourself staring at him, staring at the dark circles beneath his eyes and how tired and absent he seemed these last few days.

"I just thought ... You seem so tired and I'm always here when you get home and you cannot rest in peace because I'm always bothering you—"

"You're not bothering me," Yoongi cut you off. "I'm glad that you're here whenever I come home."

"You are?"

Yoongi stared at you a while before he got up from the table and you did the same. He came around to your side and placed his hands on your cheeks before he pulled you into a kiss. Your eyes widened at first before they closed and you responded to the touch of Yoongi's lips. You could taste the traces of whiskey on him as your hands went to his sides, balling around the fabric of his black t-shirt.

You did not want him to pull away but he did, leaving you reaching for air. You slowly opened your eyes as you bit your lip to keep yourself from leaning in again.

"Don't leave," said Yoongi, his chest rumbling with the deepness of his quiet voice. He could not believe his eyes when he saw your gaze searching for his lips.

"I won't," you shook your head and stepped on the tips of your toes. You wrapped your arms around Yoongi's neck and kissed him ardently. He deepened the kiss as he took your waist and sat you on the edge of the table.

Hoseok

You were standing outside Hoseok's study, raising and lowering your hand like a robot as you tried to muster your courage and knock. You had to talk to him and the sooner you did the better you would feel.

You knocked and slowly opened the door.

"Do you have a moment?" you asked as you waited beneath the door frame. Hoseok was sitting in his chair behind the massive wooden desk that held nothing but his laptop, a computer, a stack of pens in a box and a decorative bonsai tree.

You have never been in his study before although he was always in and out of it when he was not actually at work. The room was bright and sunlit though, not at all dark and gloomy as you expected given the nature of his work.

"Come in," said Hoseok with a smile.

As you closed the door behind you, Hoseok was already on his way to the sofa next to the packed but organized bookshelf. He was very meticulous and it showed in most any aspect of his life.

You sat down beside Hoseok, not really knowing where to begin.

"You didn't have to knock, you know," said Hoseok smiling. You offered a small smile in turn but your gaze fell to your hands.

"I've been thinking ..." you began as you licked your dry lips. "I think it's time for me to go, Hoseok ... "I've been thinking and I ... I have an aunt that lives in the country - Kang doesn't know about her. My dad had a falling out with her years ago and I honestly haven't seen her since ... But given the circumstances, if I contacted her, I think she might let me stay for a while," you concluded, slowly looking up at Hoseok. He was listening patiently to what you had to say, his brown eyes never leaving you for a moment. The smile had drained from them, however, replaced by a frown and his lips forming a thin line.

Hoseok did not say anything for a while. He looked down at your hands before his eyes returned back to your face.

"You want to leave?" asked Hoseok quietly.

You stared at him as your heart jumped to your throat and beat harshly against it. You did not want to leave, not really. After the first couple of days, living with Hoseok was like living with an old friend. Sure, you couldn't go out or see anyone but that would have been so wherever you decided to wait out Kang's rage. Hoseok did everything, though, to make you feel as comfortable and free as he could. His building had a rooftop garden where you spent most of your time when it wasn't raining. When the weather was bad, however, you found books to read, meals to cook, movies to watch and even play board games. You could not believe it when Hoseok asked if you wanted to play Scrabble one rainy evening. One game turned into a tournament, which lasted until 2 am, and you had not laughed that much in as long as you could remember.

You managed a nod, "I think so ..."

"Did I do something?" asked Hoseok as his eyes studied your features.

"No, of course not," you said quickly and instinctively took Hoseok's hand. "I just ... I feel like I'm taking advantage of you and I will never be able to pay you back for everything that you did for me."

"Oh, sweetheart ..." said Hoseok as he scooted closer and caressed your cheek to make you look him in the eye. "You're not taking advantage of me ... I'm afraid I may be the one taking advantage of you ..." Hoseok's eyes followed his thumb that glided across your cheek.

You watched him not knowing what he meant.

"You don't have to go to your aunt," said Hoseok as he took back his hand, the softness of his voice hardening with resolution. "I will find you a place where you can stay while I deal with Kang."

You watched Hoseok. He thought you wanted to get away from him, that he was taking advantage of your company because he wanted you to stay. It could not be further from the truth, though.

Hoseok wanted to stand up to make some phone calls, but you were still holding his hand and did not let him leave. His dark eyes turned to your palm as he sat back down.

"I want to stay ... " you said softly as you looked into his eyes. "If you want me to stay."

Hoseok stared at you. Your heart beat wildly against your chest beneath his gaze. You threw all reason out the window in that moment and decided to trust your instincts. You scooted even closer to Hoseok, his wonderful fragrance giving you goosebumps. You leaned in slowly, observing Hoseok's body language in case your instincts were wrong. Hoseok's eyes lingered on your lips though as he reached for your cheek again, his thumb tracing your soft skin until it settled beneath your jaw and held it up to him. You closed the space between you as you found his soft lips and forgot to breathe altogether. Hoseok pulled you closer as you wrapped your hands around his neck, drawn to the warmth of his body. You have been thinking about this for days but never dared to act on it - you already felt bad enough as it was ... but now, in that moment, everything felt different.

"I will never ask you to leave," said Hoseok against your lips as his hands gently rested on your neck. "Everything that is mine is yours."

Jimin

Since the first night that you spent at Jimin's place, you have been staying in his room. You offered to take the sofa and there was even a guest room that you could take, but Jimin didn't mind in the least. You were sharing the same bed yet sleeping each on your own end. That is until one morning you woke curled up against Jimin's chest, his arms wrapped around you securely. You didn't realize it at first and only snuggled closer to your source of warmth and comfort, your hands slipping around Jimin's side as you inhaled the smell of his clothes. Yet when you realized where you were and what you were doing, a gasp escaped your lungs as you shot up in bed. Jimin woke immediately, one his hands grasping the gun attached to the bottom of his bed and the other instinctively reaching over you protectively.

"What is it?" asked Jimin when he saw the two of you were alone. "Did you have a nightmare?" his heaving chest was beginning to calm. Jimin stored the gun away.

Blush crept up your cheeks as you shook your head. "No, sorry, I just ..." you didn't know what to say really.

"What?" asked Jimin gently.

"When I woke up ..." you licked your dry lips and blushed even deeper. "We were sleeping together ... together together. I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable ..."

"You're not making me uncomfortable," said Jimin immediately. His hand was still resting across your waist. The closeness of his face made your heart pause.

"I've already stayed at your place for far too long and now I've even started invading your space when you're sleeping," you hid your face behind your hands before you ran your fingers through your hair. The small but sharp pang of guilt you had been feeling the first few days slowly but surely turned into a slash with a machete. You tried to at least give Jimin money for the groceries and clothes and other things that he brought you if you couldn't exactly move out but he wouldn't hear of it. It made it even more difficult for you as the two of you grew closer and you began to develop feelings for him.

"Maybe I was the one who pulled you closer," said Jimin quietly, his big brown eyes flickering to your lips for a split second but you noticed. Your already pink cheeks turned crimson as your gaze flinched to Jimin's lips as well no matter how hard you tried to control yourself. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest when Jimin inched closer. He looked you in the eyes just to make sure before his hand moved from your waist to your cheek. Jimin kissed you, his plush lips moving softly against yours. Your fingers went to his neck instinctively as you scooted closer but Jimin pulled away hesitantly as if he tried to pace himself. His forehead rested against yours whilst both of your eyes remained closed. You tried to kiss him again but Jimin pulled away.

"Y/N ..."

Another sharp pang of guilt slashed through your chest even though Jimin was the one who leaned in first. For a moment, you thought you misunderstood.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly although your voice held an urgency laced with genuine regret. The thought of making Jimin uncomfortable was killing you.

"What? No—," said Jimin quickly. "I'm sorry ..."

"You don't have to be," you reassured him but it was his turn to blush - a sight you couldn't have imagined in a million years. Jimin was always so self-assured that it made you believe he could never feel shy or embarrassed or any of the lot.

"No, you don't understand ... " said Jimin. When you saw the look in his eyes you suddenly realized what he was talking about. Your heart was beating loud; the thought both exited and scared you a little at the same time.

"I'll make some coffee, do you want some coffee?" you suddenly panicked as your face throbbed with heat. "I'll go and make some coffee," you decided and jumped from the bed. A part of you wanted to stay but another knew better than to rush into it.

You had to lean against the wall once you reached the kitchen, your chest heaving. You could feel your own heartbeat pulsating against your throat. You couldn't help but grin when you thought about the kiss, though, and the feeling of Jimin's lips against yours. The coffee almost spilled from your cup when you heard Jimin come into the kitchen. You were leaning against the isle, facing the coffee machine when he came around and poured himself a cup. You were looking down at your bare feet as you bit your lip to keep yourself from smiling.

"Would it be ..." you cleared your throat as the blush you only just got rid off returned to your cheeks. "Would it be okay if I kiss you again?" You glanced up at Jimin. You put your coffee cup on the counter and hugged your arms. He looked at you puzzled for a moment, then put away his cup as well. Jimin's hands wrapped around your waist as he kissed you passionately, nearly knocking the breath from your chest. A muffled yelp escaped your mouth but your arms locked behind Jimin's neck. You only deepened the kiss, unable to get enough and threw reason out the window. You had never felt this way before, this calm and comfortable and yet filled with excitement and butterflies.

Jimin lifted you up on the counter and kissed you with so much hunger it made your back arch against his grip. He pulled away then, his chest rising heavily.

"I can't ..." Jimin shook his head as he tried to catch his breath. You could almost hear the rest of his sentence - control myself. Despite your better judgement, you couldn't either.

"You don't have to," you breathed before you stole a soft but passionate kiss from his lips. Jimin's fingers dug into the softness of your waist as he pulled you even closer and your legs wrapped around his hips.

Taehyung

Every day since the evening Taehyung brought you to his apartment you could not stop thinking about what he said to you. Even if the two of you hadn't spoken about it since, it still lingered in the air like a fragrant perfume that you wanted nothing more but to wear. Still, you contemplated your relationship with Kang and how it all went wrong at some point. Some of the memories still made you wince in your sleep and sometimes, when you looked at Taehyung, especially when he was working, there was a formidable frown on his face that made your insides feel as if they had been dipped in acid. There were other times too, like in that moment when you were sitting at the breakfast table with him. Taehyung was drinking coffee and looking at his phone but you were looking at him: how his unstyled hair fell onto his forehead, the way he licked his mouth when a drop of coffee lingered on his lips. One of his arms was leaning against the table, flexed as it rested in a rectangular position. It was then when you noticed that Taehyung's sharp eyes moved from his phone and now watched you.

Your face flushed pink as you looked away quickly. You took your plate and your empty cup to the sink to wash them, shutting your eyes tight when you let the water run. Even before the benefit, you found Taehyung attractive although you would never act on it; you were still with Kang then and he made you feel less than comfortable even just with the thought of kissing him.

Taehyung placed his coffee cup in the sink, standing dangerously close to you. You thought he would go away but he kept waiting, his eyes never leaving you as you washed the dishes as quickly as you could.

"Do you need something?" asked Taehyung when you dried your hands. His closeness made your whole body feel as if you were on fire but you didn't want to move away. Taehyung's voice was quiet and smooth, truly asking if there was something you needed but did not want to ask him. You brought up the subject of staying with him one too many times, feeling terrible about not contributing anything financially, much less being able to find a place of your own - one that Kang wouldn't know about.

You shook your head and blushed even more the longer you stayed beneath Taehyung's gaze. You were about to walk away when he caught your hand and pulled you back.

"Y/N," he spoke with a cat-like laziness in his voice. "If you need something, you only need to ask." Taehyung held your wrist gently with one hand and tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear with the other. Goosebumps rose on the back of your neck.

"Do you want something?" Taehyung rephrased, making your eyes snap up to his. Your cheeks pulsated with heat at the thought that Taehyung could see into your mind and know what you were thinking.

"What do you want?" said Taehyung. His voice grew darker and purring, his long arms trapping you against the counter. A sharp breath caught in the back of your throat. For as much as you tried, you couldn't help but glance at Taehyung's lips. The strangest frown formed on his brows that sent shivers down your spine. You were caught.

"N-Nothing," you whispered and slipped beneath his arm. Taehyung caught your hand and spun you around as his lips crashed against yours. Your eyes widened before they shut tight, your skin prickling with goosebumps. Your fingers balled around Taehyung's t-shirt when he deepened the kiss and his arms wrapped around your waist. You couldn't remember the last time you felt like this - if you ever even felt like this; you couldn't have or you would have remembered.

A small whimper escaped your mouth when Taehyung sat you on the counter, his lips tracing down your jaw and to your neck. Your nails dug into Taehyung's sides when he left a mark on your skin with his soft lips. He kissed it again, this time delicately, when he was done. You were breathless when Taehyung's lips found yours again, kissing you softly now. Your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling as if you were in a dream. The tension slowly eased to comfort, settling the fireworks in your tummy to butterflies.

"The next time you want something, you just have to say it," purred Taehyung close to yours lips as his fingers tangled into your hair.

"Need," you mumbled quietly, your cheeks flushed with fever as you found his lips again.

Jungkook

All the while that you stayed at Jungkook's place, you couldn't help but feel closer to him every day. Seeing each other at benefits and other events was one thing, but spending time with one another every day and living together was a whole other. Sometimes you watched a movie together in the evening or cooked together, that is, Jungkook cooked and you assisted or simply watched from the counter. Still, the thought that you were taking advantage of him persisted in the back of your head at all times. On the other hand, you could hardly imagine living on your own again once all this would be over, no more sharing sleepy glances with Jungkook over breakfast and falling asleep knowing you'll see him almost the second you'll wake up.

It was strange at first. You weren't sure whether you could trust him but after breaking the ice, it was as if the two of you had known each other all your lives.

One day, Jungkook told you he needed to work late and you didn't pay it no mind. He often had to leave even on his days off to take care of one thing or the other. But that night, you couldn't fall asleep for the life of you. You tried to watch a movie to distract yourself but you couldn't stay focused either. When you began drifting off to sleep on the sofa, the sound of the door opening quietly was enough to wake you up. Only a small lamp was on in the living area but once Jungkook made it from the hall, you could see small dark stains on his shirt.

"Oh my god, what happened?" you gasped and sat up. Jungkook hadn't noticed you were in the living room as he was too busy trying to be quiet because he thought you were sleeping in your room.

"Y/N, it's fine," said Jungkook calmly when you hurried up to him. It was blood, you knew, but it wasn't his blood unless he had a nosebleed. You felt a sharp pain around your heart.

"What happened?" you asked again, this time more quietly.

"Nothing," said Jungkook just like you knew he would.

"Did you ..." you swallowed hard. "Was it Kang?" You looked up into Jungkook's dark eyes. He wasn't disclosing anything. But when your eyes fell to his hands, you saw Jungkook had bruised and skinned knuckles.

"Come," you asked and took his hand gently as you led him to the bathroom.

"Y/N, it fine you don't need to ..." began Jungkook when you took the first aid kit from the bathroom cabinet. You weren't looking at him or he would see the tears in your eyes. You could never know if you were the reason he was in danger.

There were little cuts in Jungkook's knuckles where the blood disappeared when you washed his hands under cool water. You could feel the callouses on his palm and the pillows of his fingers. Jungkook was standing right behind you as you dried his hand with a soft clean towel, his warm breath tickling your ear. The scent of his perfume filled your nostrils along with a faint smell of cigarette smoke that lingered on his clothes.

You looked at the spattered dots of blood on Jungkook's shirt again. "Maybe you should change first," you suggested quietly. You couldn't stand seeing the blood on his clothes even if it wasn't his. It just filled your mind with endless scenarios and made you feel even guiltier than you already did.

You thought Jungkook would go to his room to change but he only pulled off his stained shirt and threw it over the toilet seat. You cheeks pulsated with heat as a sharp breath caught in the back of your throat. You looked away quickly before Jungkook offered you his other hand as well. You washed the cuts and the bruises and patted his rough hand dry. He let you use some antiseptic as well and some ointment before you gently wrapped his knuckles with a bandage.

"You didn't have to do this," said Jungkook once you were finished. You were leaning against the bathroom sink, watching the tattoos on Jungkook's arm as he stood in front of you.

Your eyes filled with tears again. You looked up at Jungkook but it was a mistake. A single tear slipped from your eye and you brushed it away as soon as it came but he saw it nevertheless.

"Why are you crying?" asked Jungkook, his voice almost breathless as he caressed your cheek with one of his bandaged hands.

"Did you get hurt because of me?" Jungkook's dark eyes shifted between yours as his lips parted. He had no idea how terrible you felt, how guilt was eating you inside out.

"Why would you think that?"

"If Kang—"

"It wasn't Kang," said Jungkook firmly as his brows furrowed into a thick frown. "Even if he was and he will be at some point, it's got nothing to do with you."

"But—" you tried to protest, allowing another small tear to escape your eyes.

"Y/N, shut up," ordered Jungkook although his voice was nothing if not caring. "I won't listen to his anymore." He leaned down and gave you a kiss. Your eyes widened as both of his hands cupped your cheeks. Jungkook pulled away, realizing what he had done only when he saw the look on your face. The sound of your loud heartbeat was almost deafening in the silence that settled between the two of you. Your tummy swirled with butterflies.

"Y/N—"

You cut Jungkook off with a soft and tender kiss. Your hands wrapped around his neck as you had to stand on the tips of your toes to reach him. Jungkook leaned down, allowing you to stand on your feet but his arms locked around your waist so firmly that he nearly lifted you off your feet. You deepened the kiss simultaneously before Jungkook lifted you up on the counter and stepped between your legs. You have been thinking about this since the first morning that you stayed with him; it all felt like a dream that you didn't want to wake from. The intensity of Jungkook's touch, however, let you know it was anything but a dream.

[a-aexotic]

𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, chapter 6

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ! 3.1k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ! girly stuff, mentions of ED's, modeling, bonding with the girls :)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ! this chapter was more of a serena, y/n, blair bonding moment so there's a lot of fluffy girly things. but ofc it's gossip girl so there's a teeniest bit of drama. but this is a nate fic so there's a sprinkle of nate content in there as well hehe

➜ missing out on updates? ❪ navigation. series masterlist. taglist. ❫

You sat alongside Serena and Eleanor, Blair's mom who had just flown back in from Paris. After the whole Ivy week mixer debacle, they had made up the next day and you were so glad that you didn't have to deal with their petty fights.

You sat in Blair's living room, catching up with Eleanor. Blair was still asleep and you wanted to wake her up but Eleanor insisted she got her beauty sleep.

Serena looked up and a smile curved on her lips once she saw Blair had woken up. "Hey, you're up!"

"Did we have plans?" Blair questioned as she analyzed the scene in front of her. Before either you or Serena could respond, her mother spoke.

"Darling, it's impolite to interrupt, mwah." She gave her daughter a air kiss as she took a seat next to you. You gave Blair a sympathetic smile, you knew she had a somewhat complicated relationship with her mother. "I was just telling Serena and Y/N that Benedel's is interested in carrying my line."

Blair's eyes lit up with genuine excitement as she processed her mother's words. "Really? Oh, that's fantastic. Why didn't you say something?"

Eleanor chuckled softly, a hint of pride in her voice. "I came back from Paris to put together my lookbook and if they like what they see, it could be the beginning of an entire lifestyle collection - like Winfrey's."

Eleanor gave you a smile as you nodded. Your mother's company had become one of the most coveted brands in the fashion industry, known for its elegance and sophistication. You returned Eleanor's smile with warmth, feeling a sense of pride in your mother's accomplishments.

"That's incredible, Eleanor," you replied, admiration evident in your voice. "I'm sure Benedel's will be thrilled to have your line. And a lifestyle collection? That's ambitious, but knowing your eye for design, I have no doubt it'll be a huge success."

"Mom, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you." Blair's eyes gleamed with excitement as picked up a croissant and tried to bit into it.

"Before you tuck into that, you might find the low-fat yogurt more appealing." Eleanor gave Blair a look before she nodded, dropping the croissant.

Serena glanced around awkwardly before getting up from the couch to take a better look at Eleanor's clothes.

You gazed at Eleanor, annoyance filling your expression. You liked Blair's mother but she can bit controlling at times and you hated seeing Blair undermined like that. But you also knew that Blair's relationship with her mother was complicated, filled with expectations and pressures that often left Blair feeling suffocated and vying for her attention.

You opened your mouth to speak only to be cut off by Blair and her glare. She knew you hated how her mother treated her but she didn't need your words, especially now.

"I lost two pounds while you were away." Blair smiled at her mother.

"And you look marvelous." Eleanor grinned back before her eyes moved toward Serena, who was looking at the dresses.

"Wow these are beautiful, Mrs. Waldorf." Serena exclaimed, admiring the elegant designs on display.

Eleanor's smile widened at the compliment. "Well they will be when they're not all squished from travelling." Eleanor moved by Blair and walked toward Serena and you could tell Blair was saddened by that.

You have her a sympathetic smile, taking her hand and squeezing it for reassurance as she watched Serena and her mother interact.

"When everything is unpacked, I would love to hear your thoughts. You do have such great personal style." Eleanor praised as she looked to glance at you as well. "And Y/N, I know you did some modeling in Paris. I'd love to see you in some of my dresses."

You offered a grateful smile at Eleanor's words, feeling a surge of appreciation for her acknowledgment. "Thank you, Eleanor. I'd be honored but..." You looked back at Blair before continuing. "I left that in Paris, it was too much pressure."

Blair's grip on your hand loosened slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing her features before she quickly masked it with a smile. "Y/N would love, Mom. She'd would look stunning in your designs."

Your eyes widened in surprise but before you could respond, Serena did. "Actually, all of us plans today."

"We do?" Blair looked confused as she glanced between you and Serena.

You nodded in agreement with Serena's sudden declaration, improvising on the spot. "Yes, we do. Remember? We talked about going shopping downtown for the sleepover next week."

Blair's confusion shifted to a smile of excitement as she caught on to the plan. "Oh, right! How could I forget? That sounds perfect. Sorry, Mom, we'll have to take a rain check on unpacking those dresses."

Eleanor smiled, seemingly pleased with the plan. "That sounds lovely. I'll look forward to seeing you all later. And Y/N, we can discuss the modeling another time if you're interested."

You nodded gratefully. "I'll let you know if I change my mind."

As you made your way out of the room, you couldn't shake the feeling of being caught between Blair's desire to please her mother and your own apprehensions about being drawn back into the fashion world. But for now, you focused on the prospect of spending time with your friends outside the confines of Upper East Side drama.

Or so you thought.

──౨ৎ──

"Oh my god, Blair!" You squealed as you watched your friend flush in slight embarrassment, but a genuine smile was evident on her face. "I left you guys alone for an hour and now Blair has a modeling gig? That's amazing."

You, Serena and Blair were all sitting on her bed as Is and Kati looked at the dresses.

"It's for my mom's line and it's a one time thing," Blair interjected but you could tell she was really happy to be finally included in her mother's business. "I'm only doing it as a favor."

Serena grinned, nudging Blair playfully. "Oh, come on, Blair! Don't play it down. It's gonna be so hot and the clothes are gorgeous."

"They're alright." Blair glanced at Kati, a grin on her face.

"Oh, shut up. They're amazing and you're gonna make them look more amazing." You rolled your eyes playfully as Blair shoved you, a blush on her face.

"Like I said, I'm only doing it as a favor to my mom." Blair's voice sounded irritated but there was a hint of excitement in her eyes as she smiled.

Serena chuckled, shaking her head. "Yeah, yeah, humble as always, Blair."

You couldn't help but laugh along with Serena as Blair gave her a mock glare before she turned back to Kati and Is. "The hair and make-up test is tonight." She beamed as everyone squealed in excitement for Blair.

"I think this is my best pose," Kati declared, striking a dramatic pose with her hand on her hip and a playful smirk on her face.

Isabel laughed, shaking her head. "That's because you can't see what you look like. You're just a hand model, that's it. The right way is this,"

Isabel striked a pose, popping out her hips with a kissy face before you and Blair shook your heads. Blair got up and joined in, imitating Isabel's pose with exaggerated flair.

"Uh-uh, uh-uh, girls. This is how you do it. Gotta curve your spine forward along--" Blair began before Serena got up, shaking her head with a laugh escaping her mouth.

"Oh no! You guys are doing it all wrong. Look you're missing the key," Serena declared, stepping forward with a smirk. With a quick, fluid motion, she struck put her hand on her hips. "You gotta put the hand on the hip... and pop. That's how you do it."

"Pop, pop, pop." Blair moved her hips.

Everyone began copying her pose as you let out a loud laugh, your head falling back in the bed as Blair rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. "Oh look! The professional model is laughing at us, sorry we don't have as much experience as you do."

You grinned mischievously, your eyes sparkling with amusement. "Hey, everyone starts somewhere, right? But you've got potential, Blair. Maybe with a little more practice, you'll be giving me a run for my money."

Blair rolled her eyes again but couldn't suppress a grin. "If you're so good at it, then show us. Or are you scared?"

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. "Scared? Please, Blair. You know me better than that. But fine, challenge accepted."

With a dramatic flourish, you stood up from the bed and stepped forward, adopting a confident pose. You put your hand on your hip, tilted your head slightly, and flashed a confident gaze at the group.

The room erupted in laughter as you strutted back and forth, hamming it up for your audience. "Watch and learn, ladies," you declared with a playful smirk.

"Wow, I'm truly in the presence of greatness," Blair teased, clapping her hands in mock applause as you finished your impromptu performance.

You took a bow, grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be signing autographs later."

Blair chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. "Oh, please, don't let the fame get to your head."

Serena playfully nudged you. "I think we've found our new Queen of the Catwalk."

"You know... That's what they called me in Paris."

"Oh, please! You didn't even do any Catwalks." Blair teased as you scoffed.

You shrugged, a playful glint in your eyes. "Details, Blair. Details."

──౨ৎ──

You and Serena looked at Eleanor's dresses on set as Blair was doing her first photoshoot. You looked back at her, a proud smile on your face as Serena examined the dresses.

As you and Serena admired Eleanor's dresses on set, a sense of pride washed over you. Blair looked stunning as she posed for her first photoshoot but you could tell she was a little nervous. But you couldn't blame her - the first time you did a shoot, you threw up before and after.

"You look amazing, Blair!" you called out, unable to contain your admiration as Blair rolled her eyes in mock annoyance.

"Okay, let's take five!" The photographer called out.

You walked over to begin talking to Blair but Serena stayed, examing the dresses more. But then she began listening over to the photographer speak.

"Who chose this girl?" He spoke quietly, annoyance dripping from his words.

"Eleanor? Why?"

"She's so prim... stiff, like a bookcase. It's unnatural." He spoke candidly, his dissatisfaction evident in his tone.

"Yeah but she looks stunning in the clothes, don't you agree?"

"Mhm... to my eyes, like a Goddess. To this eye," he pointed to the camera. "Bleh, like a statue. She needs to let go, loosen up, have fun."

Serena let out a huff before she began walking over to you and Blair, masking her irritation at the photographer. "Hey! First of all, you look amazing."

"Amazing is an understatement." You added as Blair laughed.

"But look, can I give you a tip?" Serena spoke as Blair's expression turned from excited to slightly annoyed.

"How did I know this was coming." Blair sighed as you and Serena shared glances.

"No, no, no. Look all you need to do is... maybe you could uh, loosen up? You know, shake it out." Serena grabbed her arms and began shaking her hair, blowing raspberries as you laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. She's right, Blair. Shake it out." You began encourage her, mimicking Serena's playful gestures as you tried to lighten the mood.

Blair looked back at the crew and then back at Serena.

"Um, maybe you could be goofy. Like when we were ten and we would dance around to Genie in a Bottle in your mom's clothes." Serena began jumping around as Blair flushed nervously under the photographer's gaze, which you caught on.

She glanced at you and Serena, a desperate look in her eyes. "Help me."

"Um, okay..." Serena looked back at you for any suggestions and you nodded.

"Act like a tiger!" You exclaimed, jumping into the impromptu role-play. "Come on," you began roaring as Serena and Blair exchanged glances before laughing.

Serena nodded, getting into character as she roared, imitating a tiger's movements. Blair hesitated for a moment, but then she too began to channel her inner tiger, prowling and growling with exaggerated ferocity.

"No, no. You gotta roar." Serena laughed as she threw her head back, roaring as you let out a laugh. "Yeah, that's it, Blair! Give me tiger."

Blair's initial hesitation melted away as she joined in the fun, letting out a playful roar that echoed through the room.

"Now let's do a prettier one, you're Venus in the half shell, right." Serena spoke as she gave a pouty face, putting her hands on her collarbones. "So, just look up."

You both followed Serena's lead, adopting a more serene expression as she lifted her chin and gazed upward with a soft, dreamy expression.

The photographer, impressed by Blair's transformation, snapped away, capturing each moment with precision and skill. With each click of the camera, Blair's confidence seemed to grow, her natural beauty shining through with undeniable grace and charm.

"Guys! Guys! Let's do something crazy, like Britney with the umbrella." You exclaimed as they both nodded. "Britney with the umbrella, go!"

Blair pretended to have an umbrella in her hand as she struck a dramatic pose, channeling Britney during her infamous umbrella incident as she shouted. Serena joined in, pretending to shield herself from the umbrella with exaggerated movements.

"I'm the car! I'm the car!" Serena spoke as she pretended to get hit by the umbrella as you laughed, joining in Blair as they continued the playful reenactment, adding their own comedic flair to the scene.

As the impromptu photoshoot came to an end, you, Blair and Serena collapsed onto the nearest couch, breathless from laughter. "Thank you, guys. Seriously,"

Serena nodded in agreement, her own laughter still echoing in the room. "Anytime, B. We've got your back, always."

You grinned, nudging Blair playfully. "Hey, that's what besties are for, right? Besides, it was a blast! It's kinda making me miss Paris-"

"No, no. You're not leaving us anytime soon." Blair pulled you and Serena closer as you both collapsed on her, laughter escaping your lungs. Despite the challenges and drama of the past, moments like these reminded you why you had decided to stick around.

"Alright, alright," Serena chuckled, trying to catch her breath. "No one's going anywhere. We're in this together, remember?"

You nodded in agreement, feeling a surge of gratitude for the friendship you shared with Blair and Serena. "Definitely."

──౨ৎ──

"God, your mom can be a..." You paused, trying to find an appropriate word. "She can be a handful."

"You can say it. A bitch." Blair spoke blatantly as you and Serena shared a glance before laughing.

She had just told you what had happened in this morning. This morning was supposed to be the photoshoot but her mom apparently fired her (but then blamed it on the photographer) but she didn't tell Serena. Serena had showed up, thinking that you and Blair were on your way but then realized that Eleanor had chosen Serena to be her model without her consent.

Of course, Blair was angry but now it's all in the past. You guys then stole all of her dresses from the shoot and went out to take pictures in the city, which was fun.

Blair shrugged, trying to brush off the incident with a nonchalant smile. "Well, what's done is done. At least we made the most of it, right? And stealing all those dresses was definitely worth it."

You sat up in her bed with a smile as you nodded. "I hope she doesn't get too mad. I don't want my mom to get more angry phone calls from Eleanor."

"Remember that time you and Serena snuck me out and went to that party at the Hamptons?" Blair's eyes sparkled with amusement as she reminisced about past adventures. "Now that was a night to remember."

"Yeah and my mom still lectures me about it." You rolled your eyes as Serena let out a giggle.

Serena chuckled, shaking her head. "Your mom's lectures were legendary. But hey, it was all worth it for the memories, right?"

You and Blair let out a couple giggles before you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Serena and Blair began talking and you pulled it out, reading the Caller ID.

Nate :)

You looked around before you let it go to voicemail, putting it back in your bag.

Serena gave you a glance before putting a chip in her mouth, observing you. "Who was that?"

"Oh, just my dad," you replied casually, trying to keep your tone nonchalant as you shrugged. "Probably just checking in or something."

Serena raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "Aren't your parents at an event right now?"

You chuckled nervously, feeling a flush at the obvious lie. "Well you know they like know where I'm at and... uh, stuff."

You didn't know why you were lying. Everyone knew you and Nate were best friends so why did it matter that he was calling you in the middle of the night? And why were you anxious for him, did something happen?

You and Serena decided to the spend the night at Blair's after a movie but as soon you saw they were asleep, you snuck out of bed and into the bathroom to listen to Nate's message.

"Hey, I know you're probably asleep but uh... I just wanted to try and see if you were up to talk." Nate paused before he sighed. "I really messed up tonight and I don't really know what to do. I did something that I thought was good for me but it ended up costing me and Chuck a lot."

"I know I should have talked to someone about it first, but things have been crazy lately, and I just acted on impulse. I feel stupid and I wish I could take it all back. And I know we said we were gonna keep things platonic, but I just needed to hear your voice."

There was another pause, and you could hear the strain in Nate's voice. "You always know how to make sense of things. I missed talking to you and uh, I'm really glad we talked and we're all good again. I hope you're not mad at me for calling so late. Call me back when you get this. Goodnight."

The message ended with a soft click.

[tealvenetianmask]

Hell's Belles and who Millie is in her relationships:

Hell’s Belles is light and cute, and the reaction I saw the most was people getting all heart-eyed over Sallie Mae, and she deserved all the love. But I think the short also gives us some real insights into Millie that people tend to overlook. And I think that’s relevant with Ghostfuckers coming up, where presumably (hopefully!) we'll learn more about her internal world and her friendship with Blitz. 

So what new information did we learn about our girl?

For one thing, it's clear that Millie and Sallie Mae are very close in age and their brothers are significantly younger. 

They ran things around the farm together and hung out all the time, probably throughout their childhoods. But I also have a hunch that Millie is the oldest- it’s just a hunch- no proof.

I think it’s because Sallie is so shaken up by her absence . . .

And also because of what we know about Millie's relationship with Moxxie. During most of the M&M centric arcs, she plays a supportive or protective role, rescuing her husband when he's in danger, comforting him when he's upset, and yes, giving him a reality check when he needs it.

In Unhappy Campers, we see that Millie believes her needs (to be supported in turn and celebrated for being her fantastic self) are neglected. A lot of youtube reactors were surprised, but I think it makes perfect sense.

This is a character with "eldest daughter syndrome," which means that she was raised to take on responsibility for others. She instinctively puts herself second and rarely thinks about it, until she realizes that her own needs are being neglected.

I think that even if Millie is the second-oldest, this still stands- I think she was the caretaker sibling, the most supportive, empathetic, and self-assured one. This is a good thing. Maybe she supported Sallie Mae through her transition. Maybe she made sure that the younger kids were taken care of and that all of the work around the farm was complete. I picture her doing all of this with the enthusiasm and joy that she brings to . . . you know . . . slaughtering dozens of enemies in one go.

I think we're seeing growth in Millie with regard to prioritizing her own needs in her relationships, even if a lot of that growth is happening in the background. In Hell's Belles, she tells Sallie Mae that their relationship is a priority without taking on all of the responsibility for that relationship herself.

So . . . we don't know much about how the friendship between Millie and Blitz started, but here's what I think based on what we know about their characters individually and the interactions we've seen.

Millie is super easygoing around Blitz and pretty tolerant of his quirky *cough- super invasive* behavior. She even plays into/encourages his sillier antics pretty often, and just generally seems to trust him as a leader/friend, and he admires her work in turn.

I think there's more to it. I think she's seen Blitz in some really dark places- did they meet in their early assassin days? Like, when Blitz was right out of his relationship with Verosika and reinventing himself?

I think that from what we know about the role Millie plays in her relationships, she was probably supportive at a time when Blitz really needed someone to be. (As for how this works with the timeline of when they each met Moxxie, maybe we'll find out!)

Anyway, I'm excited for Ghostfuckers and wish it weren't so far away. I like that it looks like there'll be some focus on Millie, and I hope we see her strengths on display (because that's always great) but also see some more of her depth. I don't think it's bad at all for her to be a caretaking/supportive friend, sister, and partner. But I guess my main message is- even though those are great things about her, she's more than that, so let's not overlook this awesome lady.