#i'm sure i've written this exact post before

[jesuisgourde]

(this is why i think the “he had planned his disappearance for months/years” thing is absolutely bullshit. already he’d had one breakdown caused in part by a close friend’s suicide, the treatment he was given wasn’t right and seemed to hurt rather than help him, then he was made to give up drinking and all his other unhealthy coping mechanisms without any healthy or positive replacements for them, and the only replacement he got was aa which just gave him more issues and confused him more, and either the meds he was given weren’t working or he wasn’t taking them, euro audiences were fairly unresponsive to the thb tour and album sales were middling which meant they were afraid they’d be dropped by the label, he was allegedly having terrible agoraphobic anxiety attacks and also allegedly maybe hearing voices or something, he was voicing suicidal ideation to his girlfriend and family and others around him, then the hotel in hamburg thing, then he asked his girlfriend to marry him and when she said no they broke up, and then less than a week later his dog died -- who had been a beloved pet since he was a child that he mentioned pretty often in interviews and who was clearly very very important to him -- then they were scheduled to do 35-40 dates in a month and a half on the North American tour. i mean i feel like just like two or three of those things in a row alone would be enough to really fuck up someone who was mentally well from the start and richey had all those things stacked up on top of each other plus the depression and alcoholism he was already struggling with. idk you just put all those things together and you definitely don’t get “planned disappearance”)

[allisonreader]

Laundry is done for now. We'll see if any writing actually gets done.

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 1: The Story of Job

I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.

I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!

Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.

Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."

This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.

And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?

What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.

"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"

We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.

Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.

Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.

So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.

So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.

So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.

Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:

... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:

... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:

I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.

And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).

So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!

And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.

They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.

Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:

The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.

You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.

More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.

Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.

Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.

Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.

Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.

Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.

Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.

There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!

It's subjective. It's unrealiable.

It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.

The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):

God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.

God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.

Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."

Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)

Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.

Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).

Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.

Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Hugs and kisses, (God)!

[ethansluvbot]

riding ethan for the first time please!!! love your writing btw<3

CRUEL SUMMER | SUB!ETHAN LANDRY

warnings: adult content, spoilers?, rough sex, riding, unprotected sex, and smut :)

an: i just got really sick randomly? anyways, i'm so so sorry for not posting in awhile. i just started a new school and even though its the end of the year its stressful. it also didn't help that i had horrible writers block. also, I've never written smut before so i will get better at this eventually! i'm binge watching the harry potter movies while eating soup now lol.

with a ton of convincing from sam, ethan and tara you decided to volunteer for a summer camp. sure, spending you day with kids had its downs, but you enjoyed seeing ethan interact with kids.

the kids screams filled your ears as you run to pick up their messes. the sticky hair didn't help your anxiety at all. you sat next to sam with your head on her shoulder.

"how did you convince me to do this shit?"

a quick slap hit your shoulder as you let out a yelp, "no cursing, there's kids around. plus you could never say no to ethan, it looks like he's enjoying it."

"i know. he's been going on about this since january.," you know ethan was a total soft guy, he never would harm a soul. it took him awhile but he finally convinced you to help out.

you both heard footsteps approach you, a sigh came out as you saw his shoes. immediately you jump up and wrap your arms around his neck.

"thank god you're here to save me from sam, she's trying to make me actually do something." he let out a chuckle as he waved to sam.

"im here to take you away," he smirked as you smiled back at sam. you heard her softly gagging beginning to walk away.

"hey! i missed you today, it seemed like you were having fun with your cabin."

"i was! i actually taught a kid how to swim today." you grabbed on to his hand. you loved this side of ethan the soft, dorky and funny side of him to be exact.

"umm, i was wondering where you see us in the future? i know we have a little until we finish college but it's been on my mind."

"well, to be exact i see us in well paying jobs, a modern family home and hopefully kids of our own." you felt his mood shift with that. you might've not been the most kid involved person, but it was great to know you would consider the idea.

you both stepped into the cabin immediately grabbing pajamas. you felt ethans shattered breath at your neck. turning around you slinked your arms around his torso.

"can i help you?"

"god- i want to kiss you so bad right now."

you gave in to ethans innocent act, attaching both of your lips. his cold hands found his way up your back as you moaned in surprise. he hummed in pleasure, kissing down your stomach.

you flip the two of you over, "i wanted to try something new if that's fine?"

he nodded intently, he trusted you with his life and knew you wouldn't do anything to hurt either of you. he's desperate to finally get you undressed as he tugs at your pants.

"someones needy," you tease unbuttoning your jean shorts. his hands explored your body, undoing your bra and throwing it to the side. ethan was already undressed by the time you turned around.

"lay down."

he threw his head back as you pushed yourself down onto his cock. you put your hand over his mouth being careful not to arouse any suspicion.

"will you be a good boy and be quiet?" he hummed in response, "words baby."

"yes, ill be good," he let a muffeled whined out.

you let your nails scratch down his abs as you begin to move. his fingers begin to trace circles on your clit as you bounce. you were still adjusting to his size but since ethan was so eager you began to move.

"don't stop," he lets an exaggerated sigh come out of his mouth. you grab his chin making him look at you. he keeps his hands on your hips as you trail kisses down his neck.

you rested your hands on his chest helping him move you. even without him speaking he could tell he enjoyed this greatly. you felt his hand kneed at your ass.

looking down you see his glossy eyes look up at you, "aw, poor baby. are you not getting enough attention."

you were almost using him for your own pleasure, which you felt bad but, oh did it feel so good. he was getting anxious as you felt him squirming.

you felt him thrust into you a few more times. you could feel his tenseness, only meaning that he was reaching his high. leaning down you planted a kiss onto his lips.

"oh fuck- i love you."

[thewertsearch]

@burntowl25 asked: I just got done binging all your live blog, I LOVED IT. OH MY GODDDDDD sooooooooo fucking good, your analysis is soo interesting and I love it so much. I also really dig ya kidsona+trollsona. I really, Really think that you should at least read the Homestuck Epilogues, to me they feel like an unremovable part of Homestuck, and don't think that the experience is relly complete w/out it. It also continues expanding the Lore and mechanics of the story in a really interesting way that I think that you will enjoy htinking about. It works better as a thinking work than a strict story, which plays well into your liveblogging style. @herestoanotherweirdo asked: hey ive seen you confused before about the like… "canonicity" status of stuff like The Epilogues and Homestuck^2/Beyond Canon, with regards to whether or not you'll get to that after finishing homestuck itself, and i think the best way to understand all that is basically like. It's a sequel. It's doing Thematic things with the FACT that it is a sequel, but it is still a sequel. Terms like "post-canon" and "dubious authenticity" (both official terms used which are often merged by fans to as Dubious Canon which is not officially used) are, more than anything, used to provoke thought on the position of these works in the thematic framework of homestuck, which is interested in examining the nature of stories, how we tell them, what they Do, using the nature of stories as a metaphor for Various Other Things, getting into unique metanarrative modes, ETC. But like, they are still Official Sequels in all meaningful ways. You can ignore them and focus on some alternate canon or continuation you made up yourself or found online, but that's also true of literally any other work of art ever produced. Homestuck, and in particular its sequels, just acknowledge that fact more than most works of art do.

Thank you!

I've been thinking a lot about how to handle Homestuck's semi-official continuations - and, like... ok. Here's the thing.

I understand that the Epilogue, at least, wasn't written entirely by Hussie. That obviously doesn't have to mean it's non-canon, but I'm also aware that it's explicitly presented as a fanfiction, complete with an AO3 header. That, to me, is a pretty clear indication that it's meant to be an optional part of the Homestuck experience, and not an 'official' part of its narrative. The additional fact that its authenticity is presented as dubious only makes me more sure that this is the case.

As such, while I absolutely will be reading the Epilogue, I'll probably be using a slightly different liveblogging style. I'll talk more about my exact approach once we're nearing the end of the comic - but, in short, unless it makes a really good case for being canon, I'll probably be interpreting it as a fanfiction, albeit one with the author's official blessing.

And, like - maybe it does make a good case for being canon. That's something I'm totally open to - and if it's the case, I'll happily liveblog it as if it's part of Homestuck proper. We'll see when we get there!

(Oh - and since Homestuck 2 is apparently set after the events of the Epilogue, my decision to liveblog that will depend on what I think of the Epilogue itself.)

[shiny-jr]

Any updates on the damnation au ,’)

Actually, yes, there is. Some good news, some bad news. But I'll put this off now, to get it off my shoulders. This is an important damnation update!

Let's start with the good news, shall we? The good news is, Ignihyde is less than ten pages away from completion. I have been able to write a bit for it recently, so steadily that number is going up. It has taken a while to get back into the groove of things, as it's been so long since I've written anything and I had to reread what I had, reflect and brainstorm, all that jazz. However, progress is being made slowly but surely.

Additionally, the follower count is getting closer and closer to 8,000. Like, very close. It's like I'm sitting here, yapping mostly, ranting, and occasionally putting out a post, only for new readers to go "okay, I like this" and follow, despite me not being able to post much. At this exact moment of me writing this, the follower count is 7,821 and usually soon I start reblogging previous damnation results leading up to the moment I will post the new result.

Now, notice I have yet to say anything about Diasomnia. That is because I have yet to begin writing for it, despite the ideas I already have for it.

I want to be real for a moment, and saying that this has generated some anxiety for me, which is never good.

I don't want this fun hobby to become a burden I learn to dread. There's many things I worry about. I won't be able to come anywhere near completion for Diasomnia in time, it'll be rushed and be a horrible ending to an otherwise decent series I'm mostly proud of. At this point to being so close to finishing Ignihyde's damnation story, I worry that it's not good enough. That it's nothing compared to the previous endings. That it won't be well received.

These thoughts about Ignihyde's part are something I often experience before posting something major I've worked on for a while, which I expected. I will go through with Ignihyde, as it should be done well before the milestone is reached. At the pace things are going, I will not be forcing myself to hurry to start and finish Diasomnia.

I do not want to make a mess of things, and create some unsatisfactory ending. That's why, for now, Diasomnia's ending will be delayed. I wish to write a good story, at least to the best of my ability, and I cannot do that in a time crunch while under pressure. I'm sorry if this is disappointing news. I hope I can make up for this in a good Diasomnia damnation ending later on, but not now.

Further updates for damnation, the Ignihyde ending, will be posted soon. Thank you for reading this long announcement.

[letteredlettered]

I wanted to make a separate post about this, partly because I'm feeling a lot of emotions I feel like I've never experienced, or at least don't know how to identify.

There's a lot that goes into writing a fic. You have to consider every word, weighing it against every other word. You read and you reread and you edit and you reread; you sit back and say, "How do I make sure the reader reads this as it is meant to be read; how do I make them feel the weight of the words in the right place; how do I engineer the timing such that this joke lands, this repetition lands, this echo or this feeling or this meaning lands; how do I write this dialogue in a way that allows the reader to understand the tone in which it is being said, the mood with which it is spoken, the feeling the dialogue provokes in the other character listening; how do I make phrase A resonate with phrase B so that the reader can connect the dots between the phrases in a way that produces C?"

Writing is wrangling words so that they behave in an exact way to produce an exact result. The "exact result" is for the writer, not the reader--different readers are going to interpret the meaning and characters differently. But the writer is arranging words in a precise formation to express exactly what they mean, so that the mood is produced exactly as they intend, so that the joke lands at the precise time to land the joke accurately. The reader might not get the joke; they might get the joke but not laugh at it; they might laugh but not like it. Same with tone, mood, meaning, etc. The reader cannot and will not interpret it the same way. But the writer wants to produce the exact equation that will work for them, and then they want to show it to you and hear what you think, even if you work through the equation and get a different result.

This is why writers like comments. They want to hear whether you worked through the equation and got the same result; they're interested in your different results. Like a teacher, they want you to show you're work--how and why did the different parts of the equation lead you to your result? They want this because they poured so much time, energy, thought and feeling into every single portion of that equation. They put so much of themselves into every single word that they want to know how every single word landed.

I'm writing this post because @raitala has started posting their podfic of my fic, Time Signature. And this podfic delivers every single word of this story exactly how I imagined it. Exactly how I meant it. The timing of everything is exactly how I wanted it to be read. The tone of every line of dialogue is exactly what I heard in the character's voices while writing it. Listening to it felt like writing, a feeling so extraordinary that I don't know actually how to describe the things I felt listening.

If you like my writing and have ever wondered what writing feels like for me, how I hear it in my brain, how I mean for it to be read--this is it. And if you don't like my writing, I think that you will still like this podfic, because this podfic is its own entity. I would be recommending the fuck out of it regardless of whether it was my fic, because listening to it is absolutely gripping.

Look. I'm proud of my writing. I think I'm good at it. I think I'm good at things like pacing within a scene and capturing voices in dialogue. But listening to this made me love my writing in a way I never experienced before.

This fic isn't a comedy, but the beginning is meant to be amusing. But listening to this podfic, I was fucking dying of laughter--at lines I could already recite! Because I had written them! I had written them with the intention of being a little witty, a little wry. But hearing them spoken with timing so precise, so exact, I couldn't help but feel that this is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard.

This fic is mostly porn. It's extremely filthy porn. Porn as often awkward read aloud; there are the actual mechanics of bodies moving, then all the feelings, then the moaning and if you're me, lots and lots of dirty talk. And sex scenes in audio books usually bring me a certain measure of embarrassment--this reader is trying too hard to pant and sound needy; that reader is being to clinical and removed; this reader is making it sound like a porno; that reader is failing to sound sexy. But this podfic is read so perfectly that listening to these sex scenes sounded like the experience of reading them--or at least, how I want them to be read. When you read a good sex scene, the words should fall away, and the scene itself should play out in your head, whether visually (for some) or just through cognition (for me). You should feel the emotions of it without feeling distracted by things like sentence structure. And this is how @raitala reads. Yep, it's someone saying the words "cock" and "pussy" a whole bunch, and yep, it's super hot and very explicit. But the timing and the tone are so perfect that the awkwardness of a live person reading these things falls away, and you feel like you're watching a movie.

But this fic is one other thing. It's a fic about two musicians who make music, and while not a whole lot of time is spent talking about music, that's mostly what's happening when there's not porn (and sometimes what is happening when there is porn). I'm not a musician; nor do I particularly invest time and interest in music like most people seem to. But I did a lot of research for the music in the fic, and the reason for that and the research that I did are both described in the post I did here.

What makes this podfic truly extraordinary is that @raitala not only exactly captured the timing and tone of every word, but also precisely captured the meaning and feeling of the music parts of this fic through the soundscape they provided.

I've never listened to a podfic that provided a soundscape. The soundscape in this fic is almost all music. @raitala absorbed the meaning of the music from the fic, then also paid attention to the post I did about the music for the fic, then they did their own research to find additional pieces to fit the mood and meaning of the fic, then put that music into the fic at precise moments, sometimes letting it stand alone, sometimes layering it under the words of the fic, sometimes layering several tracks on top of each other to match the description or feeling of the music described in the fic.

The choices for the music are extraordinary. The layering of the music is extraordinary. The timing of the music is extraordinary. All of it is just literal enough for it to feel a bit like an audio play, but none of it is so literal that the fic is not allowed to be a fic--since it was written as a fic and not a play. The choices made around when the music starts and stops are thoughtful and deliberate and also perfect.

There is one time when sound is used that is not music, and this sound is used to create a distinct sense of space. It occurs when the two main characters are in the car, and what is extraordinary about this use of sound is that when I was writing that time in the car, I was trying so hard to create that sense of being in a small space with one other person you have strong feelings for, the way it can feel like another world, alone on the road. And @raitala took that feeling of otherworldliness and intimate privacy I was trying so hard to create and gave it its own distinct sound to outline the boundaries of that space and that feeling, as though when they read the fic, they got what I was trying to do. They got everything I was trying to do, and made it one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

I'm making this post to rec this podfic, but I also just really needed to ...idk, express? how meaningful this is for me personally. Like on the one hand, I want to tell you all that listening to this fic felt like finally getting to watch the movie of the characters you ship so hard fucking and kissing and saying all the things you want them to say--a shocking feat in and of itself, given that these characters are Chinese and speak Chinese and this fic is in English and the podfic and spoken in English. But on the other hand, I just want to go on about the fact that listening to this made me realize wow, this is a good fic, this is a meaningful fic, and if I can make people feel this way and understand what I mean in this shockingly beautiful way, then I really have been doing meaningful things writing fanfic my whole life; it really matters; it really touches people.

It touched me, and I hope it touches you.

[delopsia]

fae (forget about everything) | Bob x Reader x Rhett

Word Count: 2,800 Cross Posted on AO3 Warnings & Notes: AFAB!Reader. Wedding guests, the Reader's wedding outfit, and the general wedding theme are left ambiguous and up to your personal interpretation. Includes flashbacks both to previous fics and never-before-seen moments. A harmless wedding prank. Mentions of food (cake). Dividers are by enchanthings. Brief Summary: After all these years, you finally marry them. You can't help but remember all the things that led up to this very moment.

This fic is delicately named after Forget About Everything by Marcus Warner. This fic was written with this song in mind, but you are welcome to imagine any song that you wish 💐

An autumn breeze twists past you. Rustling through the pristine white of your clothes, rummaging high up into the trees overhead, swaying back and forth, orange and red leaves beginning to fall like rain. You're beginning to understand why Bobby insisted you do this at the beginning of the season. 

It's exactly as you remembered it being.

Crisp. Yet warmed by the gentle glow of the sun, already in the beginnings of her descent from her throne in the sky. The light catches on the archway, a delicate crafting of flowers around a wire frame that you can no longer see. If you tilt your head to the side, you can see through it, the ends of a white aisle runner leading out into a gathering that isn't meant to see you just yet. 

It's almost strange to think of how you once stood in this very spot all of those years ago. Armed with nothing but your tattered little wallet and a few shopping bags, entirely unaware of what was about to hit you. 

You can still hear it. Rhett's pitchy little apology, the shake in his big hands when he helped you up from the ground. Two o'clock on a Monday afternoon was way too early to be getting a drink with a cowboy you'd never known a day in your life, but how were you meant to know it would lead to this?

That you would run into a near identical version of that same damn cowboy; with shorter hair and the biggest eyes you'd ever seen, absolutely bewildered about why you would ever think his name was Rhett. 

"I'm—I'm sorry, I'm not Rhett," there isn't a damn way this man isn't Rhett. He looks and sounds the exact fucking same, only Rhett certainly didn't have a pair of wire frames perched on his nose. The guy looks down at his hands and holds one out to you, "You left this on the bench."

Your wallet. 

"Oh." God, were you really that distracted by Rhett's backside that you forgot to grab your wallet? As you take it from this, Not Rhett guy, it seems to be in perfect shape, only a little warm from how long he's been holding it. "Thank you?"

His hand rises to scratch the side of his neck, "you're welcome." But his eyes had might as well be on the ground because they don't lift to look at you.

"Are you sure you're not Rhett?" Your mouth is moving on its own; this absolutely has to be the same guy. "Because I swear I just...spoke to you a few minutes ago."

Not Rhett shifts his weight, those eyes finally darting up. Blue as ice, but nowhere near as bold and free as Rhett's were. "I've never met a Rhett in my life if I'm being real honest with ya."

Nothing could have ever convinced you that in a few years, you'd be marrying those strangers. But here you are, two o'clock on a Monday afternoon, twisting your clammy fingers into the bouquet you forgot was in your hands. 

They're an odd mix at first glance, but Rhett insisted that rather than struggling to pick just one favorite, it includes everyone's favorites. Your beloved choices, blended amongst Bob's bluebonnets and Rhett's Western Spiderworts, wrapped up in a ribbon borrowed from a friend who had some extra lying around. 

...hm. Strange. You don't recall adding these little white flowers to the arrangement. Five tiny petals a piece, oddly reminiscent of something from a cherry tree. 

Does it smell like cherries? 

"Eugh," your nose wrinkles. Reeling back from the bouquet as if it just bit you.

What the hell are those? And why do they smell like...that?

A petal breaks off, twisting and dancing through the air like a sugar plum fairy, landing daintily on the tip of your shoe. It blends in a little bit too well, as if it were hand-crafted to match the white of your clothes. So much time spent meticulously choosing this outfit, only to be worn once for a handful of hours. Maybe twice, if future-you feels spontaneous and wants to pointlessly crawl back into this. 

"It's...cute?" Rhett tilts his head to the side, his voice strained as he forces the false compliment past his lips. He's trying. So artificial that the assistant helping you visibly winces, but it's still better than Bob's scrunched nose. 

You haven't seen that look on his face since the time Maverick quoted a misleading Facebook post like it was gospel. 

The shape of this one doesn't flatter your figure...in the slightest. The sleeves are a little too tight around the wrist, yet somehow poofing out at the shoulder, not quite built for your figure. It's not much better in the chest, awkwardly sticking forward. You reckon you could use this as a pocket to store your belongings in.

"Absolutely not," so stunned by its ill-fitting nature that you've almost forgotten to make a remark about it. 

"So the...second to last one is still the top pick?" Bob sounds just as lost as you are; at some point, all of your try-ons have begun to blur together. 

The woman next to you clears her throat. "Is that the one we'd like to go with?" 

Well...

"But I thought y' didn't like the texture of it," Rhett chirps before you can even begin to open your mouth. 

If you're entirely honest with yourself, you were beginning to think that you could just tolerate the texture for a few hours. It's not as if you'll be wearing this every day for the rest of your life. What else is there to go with? Four stores, countless hours, and well-thought-out opinions, and that was the best you could find. 

There's nothing that you see here. It's so hard to pick something else amongst the sea of black and white fabrics glaring back at you, the occasional splatter of color caught up in the middle of it all—dresses, blazers, skirts, suit jackets, slacks, ties, tiaras. It's all the same. 

Something reflects over in the back right corner. Just a mirror awkwardly catching in the overhead light. 

"What about that one next to the mirror?" You don't recall seeing that one before. 

Getting into it is probably the hardest part. The thin fabric is so delicate that you're convinced the slightest tug may cause it to rip. 

But it fits. Hugging all of the places you had hoped it would, no awkward chest pockets, it doesn't even poof up around your joints. Cecelia's gifted pearl necklace blends perfectly with the material; the dainty blue pin from Bob's momma looks as if it were made to fit with

You know it's the right one when they fall quiet the moment you step out of the dressing rooms. Two pairs of big blue eyes gazing back at you with a familiar glisten. 

One of these days, they'll realize that they look like puppies when they see something they like. 

A gentle tune begins to play. For a moment, you manage to trick yourself into believing that the trees themselves are playing the song and not a handful of speakers cleverly hidden among the branches. 

All of those rehearsals must have worked because your feet begin to move before you realize what's about to happen. Already drawing near the corner, delicately turning, and—

Your heart lurches. 

Wow, this little crowd looks a lot bigger all of a sudden. Did a busload of people squeeze into the remaining seats? Because you think they did. 

There they are, time seeming to slow as they turn their heads in unison, big smiles growing impossibly wider. The autumn breeze twists past once more, ruffling the flowers in your hands and through the ends of Rhett's hair. Shorter than it was three days ago, the only way the hairdresser could tame those curls without fully chopping them off. 

Even from a distance, you catch the way Bob's eyes suddenly widen, darting off to the left.

The cakes sway dangerously in the wind, the table perhaps a little off balance, as Archie and his wife scurry to stabilize it before it can properly tip. Out of all the potential disasters lurking in the back of your mind, the potential of the cakes falling wasn't even on the list. With how he had you two trying to make it from premade packets from some start-up company you'd never heard of. 

One blink, and you nearly miss it. The swift drag of Bobby's fingertip smearing the artificially dyed sweetness onto Rhett's thin lips. Leaves just a big enough mess for him to lean in and press his mouth to Rhett's, that soft pink tongue darting out to lick it off. It ends as quickly as it started, with Bobby turning back to the counter, already beginning to pour another pack of sprinkles into an empty container.

Rhett's wide eyes meet with yours. Bewildered.

...huh.

"What do we think of lemon?" Bobby's speaking as if nothing ever happened. Acting it, too.

You're not entirely sure what he means by that. "I'm sorry?"

"Cake flavors," holding up a non-descript packet of mix. "There's lemon in here."

Rhett's nose wrinkles, and you can't help but wonder if he's recalling the sourness of the lemon pie you two tried to put together for Bobby. Worst damn welcome home present you've ever made.

"Is there a difference to the icin'?" Rhett asks, poking at one of the bowls.

"They're all the same." Bob's head shakes, sprinkles audibly pouring out of the packet and into yet another bowl. Who's gonna wash all these dishes, anyhow?

Rhett's eyes meet with yours. Brows furrowing, like this is the most absurd thing he's ever heard. If the initial confusion hadn't already worn off, you reckon you'd be feeling the same damn thing. Who does this, and why are you just letting it happen? Is your life so devoid of joy that this is what you've allowed yourself to resort to?

Or is Bob Floyd just very, very good at convincing you to blindly follow his lead?

All of that effort, debating on flavors and bickering about why lemon absolutely does not pair well with red velvet. Maybe separately, but in layers? As a part of the same cake? Absolutely not. But mixing flavors is hard enough as it is when it's a traditional couple of two. A trio? Hell, is what it is.

Three individual cakes make a lot more sense than cramming three vastly different tastes into one big thing. But even that was a challenge. Bob, with his stubbornly chosen lemon and Rhett's favorite red velvet, yours settled right between them. So vastly different, yet somehow, they manage to tie into a cohesive theme. 

You see the bump in the aisle runner this time, a tree root that has had you stumbling every rehearsal, but this time, it's not getting you. Not today. Not when so many people are watching.

There's a wateriness behind Rhett's eye that you didn't anticipate. From Bob? Yes. You've seen that plush bottom lip start wobbling over a Disney movie, but Rhett...you're not sure why it's got you so surprised.

Even from so far away, you can feel their warm gazes taking you in. They've seen you in this before. Have helped you decide on so many of the little pieces, your shoes, whether or not to use gloves. Veil? No veil? Accessories?

They're just as familiar with this look as you are, and yet, it's as if they've seen you for the first time. Bob covering his smile with his hand, Rhett's eyelashes fluttering like tiny little butterflies. And it's as if the world around you disappears right then and there. 

It's so difficult to keep your pace. Fighting against yourself to not rush forward and run the rest of the way. Was the aisle always this long? One foot after the other, past your friend sitting closest to the aisle and Bob's momma one row ahead of them. In the corner of your eye, you catch her grabbing Cecelia's hand.

Rhett and Bobby are both situated to your left, leaving you to step to the right. It's a narrow turn, forces you to sidestep a little bit. Natasha glides forward, one of her hands finding your side, helping you stabilize yourself as she takes the bouquet with her other hand. It's so seamless that you hardly realize she's done it, only notice the flowers are gone when you no longer have something to idly squeeze. 

Bob's wavering hand reaches out, enveloping yours. Rhett's is a little sturdier, but his palm is just as clammy as yours is. In the back of your mind, you've got the feeling that the crowd is already beginning to set off Bob's nerves, regardless of how familiar all of these faces might be. 

Frankly, you're just glad that you made the collective decision to keep the vows a private thing. You can't even begin to remember your last name right now, never mind entire sentences. 

"What the hell d'ya even say fer this?" It's Rhett who breaks the silence, peeking up from his blank notebook like a deer caught in the headlights. You'd thought he was writing this whole time, but now that you look at it, he's just been drawing a stick figure on an equally stick-shaped bull

...or maybe that's a horse. 

"To publicly declare your love and your feelings to your partners," Bob doesn't lift his head, but you don't see his pen moving, either. "To make it clear to your families that you're committed."

Rhett drops the pen, letting it roll across the table and over the edge. "Well, that's dumb."

"No, it isn't," now Bob's reacting, but it's difficult to give someone a bewildered look when you also have to squint to see their face. His fault for leaving them on the nightstand again, stubbornly traversing this blurry world for the sake of 'not wearing them for once.'

"But y'all already know how much I love you," Rhett throws his hand up."Why does declarin' it in front of my aunt make that any more special?"

"Because it makes it—"

"'n who gets married if they ain't already committed to the relationship?" 

Bob's brows knit together. You're not sure if that's irritation, an inability to see, or if he's simply never considered this before. "I thought this was something you wanted to do."

"I," you start, putting all of your emphasis into that vowel, "thought this was something you wanted to do."

Surely you can still make changes to the ceremony three weeks before the wedding. 

Right?  

"And now the rings, a symbol of your love and faithfulness."

Rueben reaches into the pocket hidden inside his suit jacket, pulling out a tiny red box, opening up and it's—

empty?

He tosses it to the ground. Reaches into his pocket and pulls out another box. Nothing. Tosses it to the ground, too. 

Jake looks into his pocket. Pulls out a foam sword. Tosses it. Danny searches through his front pocket and pulls out caution tape. And then it's another empty ring box and another sword. A fly swatter. A rock. 

"I got it!" Archie tosses another ring box forward. 

Empty.

There goes a toy plane. And a fork. Another foam sword. A bottle of Advil. A brand new deck of cards. A duplicate of Rhett's cake topper? Why did Danny have a paperback titled 1001 Cool Jokes? Another empty ring box. There goes Rueben's tie, and—oh well, he just yanked Jake's off in return. 

Archie sneaks forward, his hands dramatically patting Rhett down. And Rhett's trying his best to say something through his giggles, but it dissolves the moment Archie's hands shove into his pockets. 

There's another box hiding in there, those three little rings safe and sound inside. 

You get to go first. Trying your best to remain steady as you slip Bob's golden wedding band onto his shivering ring finger, then carefully pass the two remaining rings into his palm. Bob reaches for Rhett, holds him a little firmer than you did, twisting the ring onto Rhett's calloused finger like a screw. 

Rhett takes your ring from him. A delicate little thing that the three of you designed. You've seen the blueprints for it, but...it feels like the first time you've laid eyes on it. Plucked right out of your daydreams, unintentionally bumping into your fingertip as Rhett gently slides it onto your ring finger for the very first time.

You hear what the officiant is saying, but none of you are truly listening. You know they aren't. Bob's smiling a little bit too much to be focusing. Rhett's gazing into your eyes like he's drowning in them. 

The sun hits their eyes in just the right way. Illuminating the deeper color lurking in Rhett's irises, such a dramatic difference compared to Bob's baby blues—intense but delicate. Perfect opposites and...yet the same. 

"I now pronounce you married. You may now kiss your partners."

But first, all three of you have to quit grinning like a pair of idiots, or else you might knock a tooth out in front of everyone you know and love. 

[z0mbiefrank]

MCR5 Theory: Secretary Gerard is a character called The Widow

I'm unsure if everyone is thinking along the same lines, but I have yet to see anyone talk about it, so I've put together this post with evidence and links. (this will expand on the 9/11 theory. also special shout out to @autistme who made a spreadsheet with all the aus eagles lyrics) MCR performed Eagles at all six Australia shows this tour. At five of them, Gerard was dressed in a grey suit and skirt, commonly referred to as the secretary or office lady by fans.

(📷 Dough Peters) Here's a quick reference table for the things I will be talking about here. (Not necessary to read, I will explain it all)

At Brisbane, the drumheads read "everything under control" followed by "here comes the airplane". The planes have yet to hit the towers, but disaster is imminent. Eagles has evolved a lot over the tour but the Aus dates heard a new consistent change in the first verse.

All along the river bends All along with all my friends Yes, all around the river bends All together with my friends

There is minimal change for Brisbane 2. Notice how gerard is dressed as the secretary and says "my friends".

Next comes Melbourne 1. The drumhead reads "TErrOR". The plane has hit and there is a dramatic change to the first verse.

All night long the widow sends Valentines to bitter friends Yes, all night long the widow sends Valentines to all my friends

This character with friends now has a title, and it is The Widow. She has lost her husband in the attack. Her friends survived and she is sending them letters of love during this terrible time.

Melbourne 2, Gerard breaks the outfit chain. He is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, there is no hint of office wear, he is no longer playing the widow, he is playing himself. The drumhead also seems unrelated to 9/11 "BARK BARK BARK". They sing the same first verse as the previous night with minimal change, except for the last line

Valentines to all her friends

This is the only instance where Gerard does not refer to the friends as "my friends" at all during aus eagles, and it is because they weren't in the skirt suit that night, they were not the widow.

Next comes Sydney. The Widow is back and she's covered in blood! Something awful has happened to her, she's dying. But the drumhead reads "UNKILLAbLe". (This was written by Frank, an extremely powerful thing for him to do considering his accident in Sydney and PTSD. MCR has always used concept albums as a vessel to speak of things the band has been through.) The widow continues to write her letters during eagles despite the blood on her face.

(📷 Jess Gleeson) Sydney 2. The Widow again. She is in the exact same outfit, down to her boots (sports mode), but this time she is not only covered in blood but her eyes are WHITE. She is dead! The drumhead now reads "Unkillables", this is no longer specifically just one, but multiple people. It could be mcr as a band, mcr as individuals, or mcr fans themselves. In the context of a concept album, unkillables can take on a whole new meaning. It brings to mind the supernatural, ghouls, vampires, werewolves. How is it that the widow is dead, yet she is walking on stage right in front of us? Staring at us with blank eyes on the big screen? Is she a ghost, a zombie? I'm not sure. But she is still the widow. Even in death, she is searching for her husband.

(📷 ashymcr , expiiredglitter)

Which leads me to Summertime. The piece of evidence that drove me to write this long-ass post. As we know, it is a love song about Gerard's marital partner. Before they played, Gerard spoke in a breathy and musically haunting voice "I'll find you. I'll find you. come find me." Definitely something a lost and ghostly widow would say. They also bring out a white handkerchief, they do not have it in any other songs. Throughout the performance, Gerard clutched it to their chest repeatedly and held it lovingly in both hands.

In the third picture, he is looking down sadly at the handkerchief singing the line "If you stay, I would even wait all night." (video)

This is very clearly The Widow. She is mourning her husband, she is dead, lost and searching for him. Perhaps the handkerchief is all she has left of him, or it is simply to dry her tears, but she is clearly in mourning for her marital partner.

And finally, Eagles at Sydney 2. The first verse stays the same except for the third line. "Yes, all night long the widow sends" becomes

Yes, all day long the widow sends

She is writing night and day. She does not rest. Her outfits in Sydney are exactly the same. Every single other secretary's outfit is subtlely different, but now she is dead, she is stuck in the same clothing like a ghost. The Widow also makes an appearance later in the song.

We found the widow And hit her with a baseball bat

I have less ideas of what this could be about, but I think if some dead lady was walking about being unkillable, people would get freaked and attack her with a baseball bat. The concept of "unkillables" is something I could write a whole other post about but I'll spare you for now.

To conclude, I think The Widow as a concept album character would fit right in with MCR. They are no strangers to lovers separated by death. Others on here have spoken on how the feminine outfits Gerard has chosen this tour have often been of women scorned or living in the shadows of powerful men. I believe The Widow would fit right in. Even after her husband has died, she is only talked about in reference to him. She is The Widow, something that tells us more about her husband than herself.

[justchillandshipit]

I've been in and out since the start of the hiatus, so I don't know if I've missed a post where this has been discussed or not. If I'm being repetitive, sorry.

I have seen one or two posts about Buck being the one kidnapped. I like the concept, but I'm not sure if I completely buy into it yet.

After reading a Decider article today, I admit the wording makes it seem like one possibility. I still think other theories work just as well, but let's look at this line. There is a "thriller story that Maddie and Athena are going to work together on." This could still go a dozen different ways. I mean, Maddie could get a call and because of that call Maddie and Athena will be working to catch this serial killer and this is how she ends up being targeted and kidnapped.

or

Per the rest of the interview with Tim M, Buck is going to be spiraling worse than he ever has before. He is going to try to distract himself with something other than baking, and according to Minear, we will see how well that works. Tim said he didn't think Buck 1.0 would return. That doesn't mean that Buck will not try to throw himself into another relationship immediately. From the clip where it looks like Maddie is kidnapped, the person holding her down has long hair and looks female. If Buck has hooked up with a female serial killer, there are any number of reasons that 'she' would take Maddie. One of those reasons could be to control Buck, or she misinterprets who Maddie is in Buck's life, or the killer took Buck first and Maddie while working with Athena, got in the way and the killer took her too. A couple of the interviews say that by the end Buck will be even more isolated. If Buck spirals and starts dating this killer and then she kidnaps Maddie, I could see Chim being so angry he doesn't want Buck coming around and endangering his pregnant wife. I don't see this lasting, but in the head of anger, maybe. The absolute worst thing is if a woman Buck is dating is a killer, who kidnaps Maddie, and then Maddie loses the baby... (No one is talking about this that I know??? I'm actually on needles worrying something might happen to the baby since it was announced that she was pregnant.

or

Maddie is taken by the killer. Buck, who is already spiraling, starts taking huge risks to try and save her. Risks that put him in danger and could possibly put him at odds with Eddie. One interview from 8A talked about how there was going to be some tension or an argument between them. I can't remember the exact wording, but from the article, it seemed like the two of them may be in for some bickering. If he is risking his life needlessly again, I can see this being part of an argument they would have. From Buck's perspective, he has no reason not to see himself as anything but expendable now. If Eddie moves to TX, he will be out of Buck's life. There is no way that if something happened to Eddie in TX, while Chris is already living with Eddie's parents, a family court in TX would honor Eddie's Will written 5 or 6 years ago.

The interview with Tim M also mentioned that Eddie's parents are going to give him a hard time if he tries to get Chris back. Those aren't the exact words, but that is the gist of what was said. If I can find the interview, I'll come back and link it.

If you're still reading, thanks. I went into a bit of a ramble there, but these are a few theories. Are there any more that I've missed?

[liedownquisition]

Jason Todd's timeline and "Age"

So, there's a lot of discussion of Jason Todd's age esp as relative to other sidekick vigilantes, particularly Tim and Mia. I believe the exact words are usually something about a "grown ass man beating up/trying to kill teenagers."

DISCLAIMER: This particular post is specifically regarding the "grown ass man vs teenagers" statement, I have posts regarding the "tried to kill them" portion and other stuff like "seriously Jason Todd is like being shot by a marshmallow gun compared to what goes on directly before and after him in these incidents, also you don't bitch about the right stuff, also a lot of you prop up characters who are Objectively Worse, and no that's not hate on your fave it's just me calling out hypocrisy". It just takes time to find digital copies of the panels I'm using. NOTE I AM NOT JUSTIFYING HIS ACTIONS. I'm just saying y'all blow it out of proportion for petty character hate. Like, shit, they're superheroes. Jason's soooo fuckin' tame. He's not even framed as a big deal to the teens it's only the adults that think it's that much of a problem.

Courtesy readmore post cut:

Now, to start off, we all know Jason died at 15 & a few months off from 16 (if you want me to dig up panels, sure, but I figured at this point that wasn't in question). Tim at this point is somewhere between 12-13, and we have this panel in Lonely Place of Dying which takes place a few months later:

So that's a ballpark of 2-3 years between Jason and Tim.

But Tim's age is really fucky and they keep de-aging him tbh. We can extrapolate that his confrontation with Jason was between the ages of 16-17 bcs it's after the arc where he has his incredibly shitty 16th birthday in Robin Vol2 #116 and before Red Robin where he's stated to be 17. This would put Jason between 18-19 at the time. (If you really want me to find panel sources for Tim's birthday and his age in RR then, sure, but I don't think they're necessary. I used it more as a guidepost for Jason's age, since we have a clear idea of what the age gap is.)

At least, on paper.

Mia for her part I've had a hard time finding like, on panel mentions of her age and if anyone can direct me to it being explicitly stated I'd love that. I'm rereading old comics but it's a LOT of comics to hunt down & dig through. To my understanding she was fifteen when Ollie first met her, and there's at Minimum of about a year and a half between that to her meeting Red Hood, more likely at least two? because there's at least few months between that and her joining the Titans, the Doctor Light stuff, then One Year Later, and then returned to Star some 3 months after Ollie came back to run for mayor? And then Jason not too long after. So, two years feels safe. Puts her at 17-ish, Jason at 19-20

Once again, I specify: on paper.

People would happily point out at this point that the upward stretch of a 4 year age gap is a "huge gap in maturity." And yeah, under normal circumstances, I'd agree.

But, and this is going to get contradictory bcs I found Two different timelines (BOTH written by Winick, lmao), and depending on how you read it it could be up to three different possibilities. Let's Start with Batman Annual #25: Daedalus & Icarus.

Timestamp before Jason's resurrection, which is pretty well known at this point:

Next, him waking up from a coma afterwards, when he escapes the hospital:

Now the above could be interpreted as either 1 year after he died if we're assuming that it's using the same "start" point to count as the resurrection (unlikely), or one year after he came back (more likely).

Next, the timestamp right before a guy recognizes him and sells him out:

And, finally, the timestamp before being put in the Pit:

That is, count it up, between 3-3 1/2 years where Jason was dead, in a coma, or otherwise not particularly... cognizant of the world around him. His ass is NOT developing emotionally, socially, or mentally like this, which pretty handily bridges the gaps there. Taken at face value, Jason's maturity level is going to be, unironically, younger than Tim's in the wake of these setbacks.

Now, if we go to Lost Days issue 1, it doesn't specify how long he was dead, nor how long he was in a coma, so we'll just carry those two over, what we DO have is this from just after Talia brought him home:

This puts him as being on the streets for five months, so we're at just shy of two years so far. And then we have this:

Which is right before Talia puts him in the Pit.

So, in summary: 6 months dead, 1 year coma, 5 months on the street, and something like 1-1 1/2 years with the League which...

Actually puts us on almost the exact same timeframe either way. 3 to 3 1/2 years. It just changes whether Jason was on the streets or with the League for longer.

And is utterly incomprehensible because comic timelines are a freaking nightmare.

If we're being generous, then that would put Jason at a minimum of 19, maybe toeing the line of 20 for UTRH, again, on paper, because like hell are you convincing me he did less than a year's worth of training abroad throughout Lost Days. Yeah maybe they trained him in fighting while he was catatonic, muscle memory and all that. But the other teachers that we KNOW of? The bombs, guns, probably something to get him up to date on handling all that tech we see him using, Egon, potentially arguably All-Caste if you want to draw from n52...

but you'd have to knock at least a year and a half off of his internal/personal development from death & coma, at minimum. Maybe you could argue he was somewhat developing while in his "the lights are on, but nobody's home" phase, you can't say it's at the same level as a normal person might when going about their day to day life, and it's difficult to measure. But he's not hitting the kind of milestones that he should be for his age. I wouldn't put him at anything less than two years behind. So if we use our upper estimates on Jason, and lower estimates on both the developmental setbacks and Tim/Mia's ages that gives us:

Jason toeing 20, mentally 18, fighting Tim at 16. 2 year gap, kind of stretching the physical age gap if we assume Tim had just barely turned 13 when he showed up to be Robin. - OR LESS

Jason maybe 21, mentally 19, fighting Mia at 17, two year age gap again. Honestly, still not that big of a difference - OR LESS

And, to be frank, that's not even counting the mental development issues that come from the intense physical trauma from dying - and I swear to fuck don't give me the "He's not the only one who died he's not special" speech.

HOW MANY OF THE OTHERS YOU'RE USING AS A GOTCHA LOST, *GESTURING AGGRESSIVELY ABOVE*, LITERALLY MULTIPLE YEARS OF THEIR LIFE.

Not counting adults, of course. Barry lost years, Hal lost years, Ollie I think also lost a couple years? but A) they came back still adults, bodies pretty much the same. B) While Jason's body didn't go through a magic growth spurt in canon, it did still grow esp while with the League.

I'll eventually get around to Titan's Tower & GA#72 (tbh, there are other people who've already done Titan's Tower and it'd probably be better than what I do, so I'm more going to focus on the latter, but there IS a specific part of the former that drives me nuts that I don't see brought up a lot), and maybe if we're feeling spicy all my issues with UTRH starting with how Winick is just as guilty of retroactively writing Jason as being inherently a bad penny since his Robin days as any of the other "modern" writers. Like, bud, Severe enough Head Trauma is legitimately enough to change someone's personality, not to mention trauma. It wouldn't hurt your narrative for that eerie difference, the Shade of What Once Was if you're really going for RH being Like that.

Final addition: I swear to god if you use my post to start up some kind of petty-ass ship war or flame other characters I will immediately turn off reblogs and replies I am Not Dealing With That Shit, please and thank you.

Anyways, @glitter-stained, your interest made me decide to actually put the work in now to pull it up rather than passively gather stuff to dump whenever discourse pushes me over the edge so, here ya are. Looks like you did have it closer on the mark than I did.

[brigdh]

Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

Ed does not like revealing his feelings. He is incredibly consistent about lying,

hiding

displacing,

distracting, or just outright denying what he's feeling instead of actually talking about it. This is a consistent pattern of behavior with him. There are a few exceptions – most significantly, I think, the bathtub scene where he confesses to Stede about killing his father – but they are a) rare, and b) occur under unusual circumstances, such as a PTSD flashback. In general Ed goes to great lengths to prevent people from recognizing the truth about him.

I don't really blame Ed for this habit, to be clear. He went through an abusive childhood, and though we don't see a lot of the exact dynamics in baby Ed's house, it's very common for abused children to become hyper vigilant of both their own and others' emotions. It's an attempt to exert some, any control they can over the situation, as though they can prevent setting off the abuser if they just always say and do the right thing.

Ed escaped into piracy, but in terms of talking about his feelings, I don't think it was much of an escape. Piracy in OFMD seems to be a place where the idea of having friends (though not the reality – I'd argue Ed might not use the word 'friend', but has had close relationships) is to be scoffed at. "We're all just in various stages of fucking each other over!" says Calico Jack, and being open about your emotions, plans, hopes, etc would just make it all the easier to be betrayed. On the other hand, lying, obfuscating, or just telling everyone about Plan A and then instead pulling off Plan B makes you look like a double-crossing genius who outthought everyone around you. So I'm not surprised that's Ed's learned to be manipulative and uncommunicative. I don't think he's ever been in a situation where emotional openness wouldn't be a disadvantage.

Regardless of why he does this, it's very clear that it's a pattern of behavior for him. This is one reason why I don't think Sad Robe Ed back in Episode 10 was healing – healing requires addressing and dealing with your feelings, and Ed was very much not doing that. I've already written a whole post going through that episode and laying out how Ed never once mentions Stede, or love, or heartbreak, or anything related to what he's going through, so I'm not going to do it again here. In brief, Ed's putting on a performance of sadness for the crew, but it's a generic, vague sort of sadness, without any connection to his personal, specific pain.

Who finally brings up Stede in Ep 10? It's sure not Ed. Izzy:

Which brings us to Season Two. How is Ed doing now?

He's once again making a performance of his pain, and once again keeping it vague, not letting any of his true, personal hurts be revealed.

These:

Are performances of his pain and sadness, but just like before, they're generic, unspecific. This is "Mad Devil Pyrate Blackbeard", not heartbroken, human Ed. Who is it that brings up the private reality of what's causing this toxic atmosphere? Once again, not Ed. It's Izzy, just like before. And this time he gets shot immediately for saying Stede's name, and Ed doesn't even look at him.

In all three episodes, Ed mentions Stede directly only once, and very pointedly, it's when he's alone:

I'm glad Ed has decided that he wants to live, but that's the beginning of a journey, not the end. What I really want to see in the next couple of episodes is Ed finally, for once, opening up. He doesn't want to be vulnerable, but the lack of emotional intimacy that constantly lying and performing has gotten him is, quite literally, killing him.

Ed can't get over his own, very real pain until he's willing to admit that it exists. I want to see him acknowledge where he hurts. He needs friends. He needs love. He can't get those without being honest.

I hope he does. I hope the show will have him do this work instead of skipping him ahead immediately to the happy ending, no behavioral change required. I think they will. It's kind of their motto, after all: talk it through as a crew.

Now if the co-captains would just follow their own advice...

[hamliet]

Wait what, how did Attack on Titain's narrative get accused of being interlocked with fascism?

I'm sorry I'm new to this since when did AoT ever visualize direct support of such a thing? I'm so so confused, it's a story COMBATTInG that exact thing??

I think a couple things, two of which I find sympathetic but still incorrect, and the rest of which--the main reasons--I find exasperating.

Main reason: people can't read well and don't understand framing. This is a very real phenomenon among younger generations (Z and below). If a story is about something, it's automatically seen as endorsing it. Just look at social media and the anti movement, or at problems plaguing YA literature and harassment towards authors.

In this kind of environment, where portrayal=endorsement, the concept of a tragic protagonist is especially anathema to people--if a protagonist does something, surely it's endorsed! Except, Shakespeare would like a word. Historically, this isn't the case in literature, and it's not the case in AoT either.

Now, to be fair, something coming out in a monthly fashion may mean that parts seem ambiguous at the time since we don't have teh full picture. However, I don't think AoT was ever ambiguous and never made me feel like it would endorse Eren, so while I can understand occasional confusion, I can't understand ever thinking it was even close to endorsing it especially after Mikasa's "that's already... unforgivable" line in 101.

The parts I am sympathetic to are these:

Isayama, in like 2013, posted an image of a Japanese military figure in WWII or something. I forget the details. This man is taught as a hero to Japanese students. To the rest of the world, he's uh, a war criminal. Isayama I believe deleted this? and at any rate never did it again. Still, I'm not going to defend this. I empathize with people who still live under the effects of brutal Japanese imperialist occupation, for which Japan still hasn't taken responsibility. Yet as someone who grew up in America in a cult where I had to unlearn basically everything, I'm also sympathetic to a man who was in his young-mid 20s who grew up with a perspective that was very different and appeared to learn from it. It's like a lot of Americans grow up hearing great things about Winston Churchill and George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, only to then realize in your 20s the Bad Things they did, like slavery and assault and more. Also, these things were not as widely available (via the internet) to people growing up at Isayama's age (he's just a little older than I am) as they are now. So I see this as a man learning. Yes, there's privilege there, but that's not something he can help, and it's a project to do the work unpacking it--which to all accounts he appears to actually be doing. It's nonsensical to assume that someone who ever speaks positively of a historical figure is actually endorsing their worldview. If the story did endorse it, that'd be different--but it doesn't.

The armbands. I have talked about it before and won't get into it, but I won't ever defend that use of the armband (it's incredibly insensitive) while also thinking that its use is not remotely an endorsement (framing-wise, it isn't) and also thinking that someone raised in Japan, again, doesn't learn nearly as much about the Holocaust as someone in the west does.

Even with those things, being angry about them or offended is one thing, and thinking the story endorses fascism as a result of it is another. I can defend why I called BNHA a fascist-esque story in the end tying it into the themes and messaging. I've yet to see someone do this with SnK because it's blatantly anti fascist--though, it is a story told within the foibles and limits of coming from one man's background.

Also, to quote @aspoonofsugar, I think the most blatant evidence it's anti-fascist is looking at who hated the ending. Answer: fascists. Young, alienated men angry that their hero, who was written to represent them, turned out not to be the hero of the story and as a tragic, hurting child throwing a tantrum. Raise your hand if you recognize any of our real-world fascists in that.

Edit: An Anon gave the details for the picture of the Japanese imperialist: From Tv Tropes; Dot Pixis's character stirred an outrage among the Korean fanbase, especially when Isayama admitted that he was based off of Akiyama Yoshifuru, a historical general of the Imperial Japanese Army who has a complicated and controversial history in Korea. This resulted in a heated debate over the general's war record, angry messages and even death threats towards Isayama, as well as an overall decline of interest in the series in Korea due to what they saw as Isayama glorifying the man.

Thanks to Anon for the details; I'd forgotten. My opinion on it remains the same.

[bekolxeram]

I know we've been manifesting S8 Air Ops since that photo of a hangar was posted by a member of the scouting team. And I know the other side has been mocking us for being delusional when other bts photos of an aircraft came out. So here I am, taking my shipper's goggles off, and diving into the aviation side of things. I have to admit, it left me with more questions than answers.

They already have a hangar for Air Ops in S7, they don't need another one

No. The 911!Air Ops we see in S7 is the Helinet hangar at Van Nuys Airport. Helinet is a company that rents and operates helicopters for news stations, film crews, medivac service or regular charter flights. You can compare images from 7x02 and 7x03 with Google Street Views of the Helinet Hangar.

You can also see N67TV and N29HD here.

Helinet is where ABC usually rents its news helicopters from, so it's cheaper and more convenient to film a couple scenes there when helicopters are needed. It can't be used for regular filming though, because Helinet has a business to run, and when a helicopter takes off, it's so noisy that you can't even hear each other talking, let alone shooting a scene. (I recommend watching the whole video, if you're interested in accuracy when it comes to writing fics.)

It's a plane related emergency so it must be related to Tommy

Also no. Again, I've written a piece about how Tommy was not the air tanker pilot in 2x14 before, and if he was not qualified for that, he's not qualified to fly an airliner either. It's not impossible that he flies a small turboprop aircraft like a Cessna 172, but he would never have the time to get certified as a commercial airliner pilot while working as an active firefighter since 2005.

And this is a prop for an Airbus airliner.

It's actually pretty easy to tell an Airbus aircraft from a Boeing one, as the shape of the rear cockpit windows is pretty different between the two. It's just a matter of which Airbus model it is. I believe it's a narrow body single aisle aircraft from the A320 family.

Wide body Airbus aircrafts, like this A300, have their side cockpit windows more tapered to the top. It also applies to other Airbus twin aisle aircrafts, like the A330 and the A340.

On the A320 though, the side windows are flat on the top.

So it's a pretty safe bet that the aircraft we see in that bts photo is one from the A320 family. I can't pinpoint which one it exactly is, because again, I can just see a tiny section of the cockpit, not the rest of the aircraft.

So the hangar must be for the airplane then?

The hangar itself is a former Air National Guard maintenance hangar at Ontario International Airport (ONT/KONT). It's especially used for filming. There are bigger hangars at the same airport for filming, but this one looks the best on camera.

They don't need a hangar for scenes inside of the plane, they have cockpit and cabin mock-ups at the studio for them.

You can clearly see the cabin door right here from recent bts footage. It looks just like a training facility for flight attendants.

They only film on location if they want shots of the entire aircraft from the outside. Like in 1x04, the scenes of Athena responding to an alleged unruly passenger were filmed in a set. The plane crash rescue parts of the episode though, were filmed in an actual retired 757 in a tub of water.

(Lone Star worked with this exact company for 3x08. Though, that plane was a 737 I believe.)

I can't think of any disastrous scenario happening in a maintenance hangar, where the aircraft is powered off with only maintenance staff present, no passengers or crew. Well, there have been cases of planes crashing into a hangar, but even then I don't see the need for the 118 to be there. Every major airport has at least one fire station on site with dedicated foam and crash units. In fact, there is a fire station right next to this hangar IRL.

Another problem, although I'm not sure because I don't have the actual measurements, is that the celling of the hangar looks quite low. (Refer to page 44 of this document) It was originally built in 1955 to house fighter jets. The F-102, the type of aircraft operated there in the 60s and 70s, has a total height of 6.5 meters. The tail of an A320 on the other hand can reach 11.76 m from the ground. (The shortest variant of the A320 family is actually even taller, 12.51 m.) So there could be some tail bumping action if you try to tow an A320 into this hangar.

So Air Ops is still a possibility?

Yes. This hangar is quite a bit larger than the Helinet hangar, but still not as big as the actual Air Ops facility. A helicopter is obviously much smaller than a passenger airliner that can seat over 180, you can easily fit multiple helicopters in there with plenty of space left for other set props. But the problem is, they don't have enough helicopters.

They have that one replica of N211FN that they used to film the search and rescue in 7x03, that's it. All the other helicopters you see on screen, including the real N211FN that actually flies, belong to Helinet. Sure, they can get some more fake helicopters that are empty inside just for looks, but I don't see the need to spend so much extra money just to show Tommy's place of work unless it's related to some major plot points. For now, I don't see how that would fit into the story.

There is also the possibility that the hangar has nothing to do with anything aviation related. I mean, they've filmed countless ads, music videos and movies, including Ford vs Ferrari there. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe that's why that crew member eventually got the green light to confirm the hangar is indeed for 9-1-1, it tells us absolutely nothing.

[pixiecactus]

Martin said that some characters who survived in tv show will not survive in the books. And I'm terrified that Gendry will be one of them. In the TV show, he was merged with Edric Storm, so I doubt he will be legitimized. And George killed Ygritte after 2 books, it haunts me. LSH's business is so dangerous too

how do i wish i could reassure you that most likely that wouldn't be the case, nonnie, but i'm right there with you, sharing the exact fear.

what we have to take into account is that grrm doesn't kill characters for cheap shock value; from the way i see it, he kills characters that had already served their narrative purpose in the story.

and i know that people tend to discard gendry's importance in the text because he's one of the lowest-ranking characters in a social standard and that he was just another lowborn boy that arya made friends with, but if we add the fact that he was a bastard and he reminded arya of her beloved brother jon, it seems that gendry's existence is meant to convey that arya has a type already.

but i don't think that is his actual narrative purpose, and the fact that he's still kicking in affc means for me that he has a bigger role to fill yet than people may think, because to that moment he was (and arguably still is) a minor character that the author could have easily gotten rid of.

here's a link to an old post of mine (x) that left me with the belief that gendry being stationed alongside willow heddle is really significant because we see willow being the one protecting the inn with her crossbow, and willow branches used to be put in front of doors to ward off harm and repel evil spirits so i chose to interpret this as: until arya and gendry meet again, and meanwhile gendry stays at the crossroads inn he's going to be safe and sound, angry and heartbroken? sure, that too, but safe and sound nonetheless.

also let's think that arya already lost a lowborn friend before, and mycah was brutally killed... unless grrm really wants to really hurt one of his favourite characters again, because arya already learned with mycah's death the lesson that most highborns don't care about the smallfolk, i don't see the need to have gendry killed with this in mind as the reason why.

and to end this, i want to add that let's think about how most likely the name "gendry" is a mix of the words "gentry" and "gendre" and i'm going to put the definitions of each here below.

the translation from french to english goes like this: "a person's husband, in relation to that person's parents"

this is just funny and not serious at all speculation, but could this mean that gendry gets recognized as an official knight rather than an outlaw, and he gets rewarded with some land? because from what i got, the gentry is connected to landed state, and they get their riches from the property that generates the income without having to work the land. (oh god, this is the bad ending; like, this is almost gendry becoming a landlord, fuck that!!)

or gendry gets to be ned stark's son-in-law because he got married to arya. (good ending, but what is important here is that in some kind of way, gendry, a boy that is part of the smallfolk, has actually met both of arya's parents. i will not accept any discusion about other siblings being potential marriage candidates; it's arya or nothing, and i think that my boy gendry agrees with me on that!!)

thank you so much for your ask nonnie, i really hope that any part of what i've written can help you a little bit, but i'm still not so sure myself, and i'm sorry for that.

oh, and in any case, if the anon that sent me an ask while i was writing this response today, the ask was about arya, jon and genes (iykyk) is seeing this post, i'm sorry to inform you that responding will take me a while because i'm way past of my social quota, and my mind currently is a mess.

let me be an obnoxious asshole and say that this feels like i'm suffering from success because i really wanted to go, kill, and leave this blog behind. but i think that i could work around those feelings if i currently take some time off.

[scribblemetae]

For the first time

Warnings: Sub!Soobin, Soft!dom reader, love, fluff, smut, inexperienced Soobin, first time together, Soobin wears a collar with your name on it, desperate Soobin, oral (m and f), pantie sniffing, ownership, you're both just getting a feel of each other intimately, unprotected sex, cream pie, whiney Soobin.

A/N: This is a complete re-write of an old story that I wrote. Whilst I was looking at my old works I loved the story for this one but hated how I had written it and dont think it fit the person id writen it for as much as I would have liked it to so I went back, got a feel of the story and this is what came up with, its basically the same plot but completely re-written with Soobin in mind.

This is the first story I've posted in so long, so I'm scared, I hope you enjoy it.

Word Count: not exact but around the 9k mark (will add when I'm not on my phone)

Soobin was the sweetest person you'd ever met, you'd been friends with him for about a year now and in a relationship with him for a month. His cheeks were bright red as he asked you to be his girlfriend while you were sat with him and his friends watching a movie, it's almost like he forgot everybody was around until they all started celebrating that he'd finally asked.

Since then It's been a month of cute dates, romantic nights and some of the sweetest memories that help you through the day when he's not around. Honestly he was the perfect man and sometimes you thought he was born just so one day he could come around and make you the happiest girl in the world.

You'd never felt so close to somebody after only a year, and there was only one thing that you could think of that could make you both closer, and that was sex. The two of you had never had sex with each other before. In-fact, you'd never touched him sexually at all.

Not long after you first started dating Soobin told you all about his first time, he was happily in a relationship and then just after losing his virginity to his then girlfriend she cheated on him leaving with all kinds of personal hang ups about relationships and sex. You didn’t care, you would wait a lifetime if it meant he would be comfortable but that didn’t mean you weren’t human. You had sexual urges and you wanted to share them with him. You wanted to share the intimacy of having him close to you and share himself with you. 

He wasn’t completely closed off, he had talked about sexual things with you. He mentioned his preference for being submissive and being dominated from what he gathered from his porn preferences, and how he loved being praised and called a good boy. He talked about how he loved going down on you and getting off at the idea of providing pleasure. In-fact this was something he was so sure and content about that he’d done it a few times, He’d taken your pleasure into his hands and mouth, the both of you loving every second of it. 

The both of you had such healthy communication that you knew nothing could go wrong. You were lucky, you had somebody who was able to have a conversation with you about something he wasn’t even one hundred percent sure about himself.

Due few times the two of you had been intimate, with him only touching you, he managed to find a confidence within himself, so much so that his comfort with you increased and he bought himself a collar with your name on. When he first introduced you to it he explained that it was his to wear when he went down on you, wearing a collar and you claiming ownership of his was something he'd talked about possibly liking to you in the past, and this was his was of allowing himself to dip his toe into a submissive role. The gentle face and the blush on his cheeks could only be compared to an indescribable beauty, and the clenching you felt in your centre when he took it out to show you how he looked in it for the first time was hard to ignore.

Once you managed to shake your head out of the fluffy daydream and stopping yourself reminiscing on your relationship you realised you were still at work and it had only been about 10 minuets since you last looked at the time. The day had been considerably normal when it came to work, but when you checked your phone it turned out that when it came to Soobin and the texts he was sending you through-out the day, things seemed a little off. Not off in a bad way, but in a different kinda way. He was usually very caring and loving in his messages, asking how your day was going and if you needed anything but this time they seemed a little bit blunt. 

‘Can I come round tonight?’

‘What time will you be home?’

‘Do you want food?’

‘Will you be going to sleep straight away when you’re home?’

‘Will you be home soon?’

There was nothing wrong with these questions, all completely valid for him to ask, it was just the way he was asking that threw you off. Usually they’d be embellished with loved hearts and kisses and maybe a few little add-ons with him telling you he missed you but in these there was none of that. You knew you were being dramatic but you could feel something was off or different, not enough to worry you but enough to let in linger in the back of your mind.

"I wont be home to late Binnie don't worry, my shift finishes at 9pm so you can meet me at mine if you want to xx"

When you got back you were slightly disturbed by the lack of Soobin, he said he'd meet you here so when he's not in the living room watching TV waiting for you it was a cause for concern ,However when you make it to your bedroom everything seemed to make sense. There he was was standing in your bedroom wearing nothing but the collar around his neck and a pair of tight, black, Calvin Klein briefs, you were equal parts foaming at the mouth and struck with love and adoration. When he looked up at you and whispered a shy ‘I'm ready’ you felt a huge rush of emotions. He wanted you, he was finally ready to take that step and allow you to take over his body and his pleasure. More importantly, he was ready to trust and give himself to you.

He was looking at the floor, arm wrapped around his chest so his hand was grabbing onto his other arm. He'd managed to make himself look so small considering how tall he was. His bottom lip was stuck inside his mouth and you could tell he was nervously gnawing on it while doing everything he could to not make eye contact. You wanted to make him feel calm, let him know that if he was too nervous he didn't have to do anything but he was eager to get started. As you started to talk to him, ready to discus this before hopping into it he stuttered and moved towards you with one of his hands slightly out ready to grab yours, hoping he could rip the band aid off quickly and finally enjoy you without thinking too hard about it he politely shushed you with a smile and kissed your lips softly. You couldn’t have that though as much as you wanted to get lost in the moment with him you needed to make sure there wasnt even a shred of doubt within him. Before anything went to far you slowly had to push him away from you without making him feel bad and talk it through with him.

You didn't want to baby him, he was an adult and could make his own choices but at the same time you knew just how important this all was to him and you had to make sure he wasn’t rushing anything. It didn't take long, no more than fifteen minutes of a sweet heart to heart you knew he was ready. Nervous, no doubt, but so ready.

It's not long after that, that you’re on your knees for him in nothing but your underwear as he stands in front of you, towering above you. You wanted him to start in a position of control to try and ease him in but, he was still so visibly nervous. His eyes are on you but they’re barely open. Your hands are grazing over his thighs, nails slowly dragging down them as his legs shake slightly. You’re trying to keep every touch delicate but intentional, letting him know that you're right there. As you slowly lean forward you can’t help but start a very soft and slow trail of kisses that start from his knee to his inner thigh, faintly sticking your tongue out to lick the smooth skin that graces your lips. With each centimetre your mouth moves, Soobin's body shakes ever so slightly and a small, barely audible whimper leaves his mouth. Slowly his hand come out to your surprise roughly dug into your hair as he attempted holds himself up. The little whimpers leaving his mouth could convince anybody you were doing more than just kissing him. 

“Ah Ah, baby boy who said you could touch” He said he wanted things to be normal, keeping the dynamic the both of you had, and that included him staying more submissive and you taking a dominant role. At first you weren't sure if that was the right way to go but he insisted. You let him know that if he wanted to change it and things got to much for him, all he had to do was say so. You were still going to be careful though, he had a tendency to push himself and you had to make sure that he wasn’t doing that now. You’d take everything slow, start with teasing to get his blood pumping and keep his mind in the moment.

You bite down on the fabric of his briefs pulling on them as they snap back onto his skin and he gasps. “Let me touch you please, please” The words coming out of his mouth were music to your ears, it was strange but so sexy hearing him beg for you. If this was any other man you’d hate it, pulling your hair and ragging you around but with Soobin you know that's not why he’s doing it, he's not doing it to have power over you, he's doing it out of desperation and need, and that turns you on so much more. “Don't make me let go baby, never wanna let go”

He was already so lost in the moment, as your eyes flicked up to watch his face you could see he was a man starved of affection and attention sexually. his eyes were closed shut, almost looking like he was about to cry. So desperate and needy and the two of you hadn’t done anything yet. He was grabbing onto you and whining out so lost for breath.

He pulled your face closer towards his body trying to hold you close, accidently pushing your cheek against his restrained cock, but as soon as he felt you against him he cried out. Slowly, he started humping, feeling the friction of your face against him. You could see he was struggling to control himself when you saw how lost in the feeling.

You’d never ever had anybody act this way with you, your cunt was clenching thinking about he needy he must be to stand there rocking his hips against your face to get himself off. His head was thrown back in pleasure, and he was humping away in his own little world, cock so hard against you that you couldn't help but get more and more excited.

A loud gasp of pleasure from his lips caught your attention and you couldn't help but pull back to look up towards him, it was only then that he snapped out of his haze and realized what he had been doing.

Looking at you with eyes wide in panic “I’m sorry baby, fuck I'm so sorry baby” One of his hands untangled from your hair and reached for his neck, his fingers started to slowly touching the collar that adorned your name as he looked back towards the celling “I’m so sorry, I'm supposed to be good, but I just" He moved his hand back so he was softly stroking your cheek, but every time he looked you in the eyes while you were leaning below him he seemed to lose it just a little bit more "-fuck-” he pulls you back to him this time your lips placed against the extremely hard bulge as he started thrusting again with much less control than he had the first time “But you just feel so fucking good” 

You couldn't help but giggle at his desperation as you quickly suck his shaft through the fabric, leaving a nice wet spot on his underwear as you push him off you making him step back slightly. He only whines as you smile up at him, your hands not leaving the solid length in front of you. You’d seen his length before when he played with himself after touching you, but you’d never touched it, and you never realized just how perfectly hard he could get.

“Calm down baby, I'm not going anywhere, don't worry and I'm not mad at you, tonight is all about you.” If you had to remind him all night then you would. He might care about his sexual role but you didn’t, when more time past and your experience together grew, then you’d start punishing him. For now though, all you wanted to do was make sure he was comfortable in letting go with you.

 You shuffle your knees closer to him so you're centimetres away from his clothed member making sure to look him straight in the eyes as you stick your tongue out ready for him. The look on his face is that of a dream state. His freshly blonde hair fell forward as he looked down at you, framing his face so well that just looking at him like this was made you want to speed things up a little and give him everything. You wanted to pleasure him, you were so turned on at the idea of him finally feeling the pleasure you can give him.

“Promise?” The word from his lips soft, cascading off his tongue like a heartfelt song with the most meaningful lyrics. You knew he was referring to you saying you weren’t going anywhere. It was something he’d always been worried about, always thinking you were going to up and leave him whenever you had the chance. He was insane to think you’d leave, look at him, pretty bunny like face and tall frame matched with his sweet, caring and attentive personality hat couldn't be matched, and that's if you ignore the big, rock hard cock that made you clench your thighs while you kneeled in front of him.

For a second everything is silent. Just Soobin looking down at you, collar shining from his neck as his body was on display for you, and you, kneeling for him nearly naked at his feet. Your hands gently caressing his thigh in comfort. “I promise, Binnie'” You reassured him as you wrapped your lips around the tip of his covered cock and sucked as he gasped out for you. 

“Oh God baby, yes” his voice was loud and solid as he moaned for you and Soobin's next actions were quick as his desperation overtook him. Both of his hands dropped from your head to his own hips as he clumsily pushed his briefs down just below his ass pulling his cock free, touching it as it twitched for you. He quickly starts pumping it as he whimpers looking down at your face that is glued to the show he's putting “Own me please baby, please I’ve thought about this so much but I never though i deserved it” he stops for a second to move the hair out of your face and catch his breath “I dunno, I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm so sensitive” 

Fuck how could he look this pretty, sitting here on your knees watching him from this position, pumping his cock in front of you was mouth wateringly hot. The skin on his shaft looked so soft that all you wanted to do was feel it against your tongue. “Don't even think about it Binnie, please, just enjoy yourself baby, you’ve been such a good boy for me you deserve this” You take one hand off his cock as you replace it with your own but changing the pace so it's much slower. “You look after me so well Binnie, you’ve earned so much” 

You couldn’t help yourself, the way he was panting and moaning above you made you want nothing more than to bring him the pleasure he always strives to bring you. You lean in and place the flat of your tongue against his balls making sure to lick and suck them, giving them all your attention pulling a grunt of pleasure from him. You ran your tongue up the bottom of his shaft making him tense up and grip onto your shoulders tightly. His moans were light and airy and fuck it made you even wetter, the sound of his voice, so deep but so lost in need, it was so perfect. You look up as you drag your tongue along him and you can see the veins in his neck as he tenses, nearly bursting out of the pretty accessory around his neck. 

You’d heard Soobin being vocal before, when he touched himself but this was something you’d never witnessed. Purely his own pleasure taking over him. Pleasure that you were giving him. He would let out the softest -Ahs- mixed in with the deepest grunts as your tongue licked up and down his shaft. 

“Your tongue feels so good, feels so fucking good” Were the only grunts and groans that leave his mouth as he pants through his words “I'm really yours now"

There it was, the ownership that he'd told you he craved so much.

As you heard him moan for you, your desire only grew, wanting him to fall apart, so as your tongue once again reaches the head of his cock you decide to take the tip into his mouth. You could taste the pre-cum on your tongue and the neediness of him got you just as lost as he was. You were quick to push your lips down his shaft and Soobin couldn't help but whine out the word ‘yes’ over and over again, prolonged and stuttered.

"Fuck, ___, fuck, yes use me. This feels so fucking good. Oh shit" His words were nearly unintelligible at this point, a mix of cries, squeaks and moans and all you had to do was swallow around his cock for him to start shaking. Once again he holds your head close to his body as he starts a slow staggered rhythm thrusting into your mouth.

"No wait, stop baby, you're gonna make me cum, don't wanna cum yet" despite his words he continued using your mouth. You made sure to use your tongue and make this as wet as possible for him, you wanted the wetness on his cock to resemble what was between your legs. It was his first ever blow job from you and you were going to give him everything he could want. You were going to take away his fear of intimacy and see sex as pleasure.

“Oh my god, no please, please baby I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum" You both could have stopped him at any time. His movement was so shallow and staggered that it wouldn't take much, but the grip around the roots of your hair told you he didn't want to stop. The fact he was still using your mouth as his head fell back and moans were leaving his lips told you he never wanted this to end.

“I don't wanna cum so fast, fuck, I'm sorry, fuck I'm so sorry” His words were all but a squeak as he trust into your mouth, hitting deep this time releasing down your throat. You barely got a chance to taste it, it shot far down your throat all you could do was smile and swallow while he moaned above you.

“Don't fucking stop *oh, ugh* yes ___, yes ____, yes. Fuck!”  despite the fact he'd just lost himself to you completely he didn't stop. Once his cock stopped twitching in the back of your throat he only started to move his hips again. 

Despite it being one of the sexiest things you’d ever experienced, you try to pull away, sure that he was going to be struck by oversensitivity once his brain started working again but he didn't, he only hugged you tighter to stop you leaving.

“No please, don't stop please keep going *fuck*” he'd become insatiable with his need for you, keeping his thrusts slow so you could look up at him. Sweat had formed all over his body and he looked completely exhausted, but there was a fire in his eyes that was impossible to miss. Oh, what one glance in his eyes could do to you.

“But Binnie, you just” You pull him out of your mouth and try to reason with him. The last thing you wanted was him over-exerting himself, he'd looked after you so well that you wanted to do that for him.

“No shh, baby, please please don't wanna stop there” He slowly grabbed his length and rubbed it against your lips and you could feel that he’d managed to stop himself going completely soft after his orgasm “Please keep sucking it, keep me hard for you. I wanted to be with you, let me please”

Now you were the one rolling your eyes and grunting. His words were so sexy that it made your pussy clench around nothing. The whole point in this was that he wanted to be with you, finally share his body with you and if he was okay with continuing then you weren’t going to take that away from him or yourself. You’d never been with anybody who managed to go again straight after he’d cum but of course, Soobin could, he was just so perfect in every other way that you’re not surprised it didn’t stop when it came to his stamina.

You looked him in the eyes, opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out ready for him. Ready to give him anything. Your jaw was aching and there was drool slipping from your lips but you didn’t care. This was all about him.

His excitement takes over and you can see his small smile as he strokes your cheek, putting his cock back into your mouth and sighing loudly. This time he takes your head and moves it back and forth rather than thrusting, you can see he's trying it out looking at you quizzically while he thinks about what he prefers. He's moving your head excruciatingly slow while watching your lips around him as he smiles in relief slightly. No only was he in heaven because of your lips around him, but he was proud that he'd managed to stay hard for you. 

“Yes, fuck” His eyes didn't move from yours this time, he was usually such a sweet angel but currently he had nothing but lust radiating from his face, his entire body “I’m so hard again for you baby, you feel so good” 

He pulls you off him completely as he kneels down at your level, pushing his lips against yours and his chest pressed up against you. He moved so quickly it took you by shock, one second his cock was inside your mouth and now his lips are against yours as his arms enclosed around your body pulling you close to him. After a few seconds he delicately runs his fingers over your skin, gently gripping your left hand, using your palm to caress his chest as he slides it up towards the collar on his neck, wanting you to feel it. His other hand slowly pulled your right hand down to press against his cock.

“Look what you do to me ____, you’ve always done this to me” voice soft but kisses slightly rushed, the contrast was dizzying. His lips moved and started to kiss your neck, starting at the back of your jaw then down towards the front. He occasionally nips at your skin and you can’t help but whimper, your nipples are so hard and you wish you weren't wearing a bra so you could feel them pressing against his chest “You own me, you make me so hard and needy. You own my heart, my soul, my cock. Take it, please baby take what you own”

His words were like a drug to you, you couldn’t help but want to do everything he asked. You had no idea you'd enjoy hearing him say that you own him as much as you do. Your underwear was ruined now, all because of him. When his words were so sweet, but filthy in your ear as he touched you, you could feel your heartbeat in your pussy as your blood rushed around your body. His hands skirted around your skin feeling your hips, thighs, arms and anything he could get his hands on “Fucking use me, please baby.” This is the most demanding he’d ever sounded, his want to be owned and used making your eyes roll to the back of your head as his lips were still against your neck.

It's with that, that you let out your own growl and pushed him back slightly so he was leaning on his hands, watching you stand up, and take the rest of your clothes off. You threw your bra and underwear to the ground towards him and watched as he crawled over to you discarded panties, bringing them to his nose and smelling them right there at your feet. 

“You really do like my underwear, don’t you baby boy” This isn't the first time he’d sniffed your panties, but usually they were still on your body. He looked so pathetic when he whined over you, his behaviour was completely different now he was crying out needily for you. The contrast in his long toned body that tensed every time his sweet doe eyes cried was unbelievable.

"Can I taste you again? Please I miss it so much". How? How did he look so sweet and innocent while asking form this. You never thought any words could affect you this way. He made your head spin, it made you feel powerful and soft all at the same time and you loved every second of it. Nobody was able to make you feel this confidence, and it was that confidence that currently ran through your body allowing you to freely play around and have fun with him.

You sat back on the edge of the bed looking down at him while he was looking up at your from the floor and started slowly opening your legs. His eyes were stuck in pure bliss, wide open as you bite your lip wanting nothing more than to feel his tongue once again "You wanna eat my pussy, Binnie?"

His head nods up and down, no words coming from his lips. It's amazing how speechless you made him when he made you so loud and proud. He had so much to say when he stood above you but now, but now that he was where he wanted to be, under your control, with your body in front of him, he turned into a mess.

He shuffled on his knees towards you and started kissing up your legs, finger tips ghosting all over your thighs and calves as if you were made of glass, as if one touch could break you. You could feel each kiss get slightly heavier with each passing suck, to a point where his head was between your thighs so close to where you needed him and he was just sucking on the skin, licking it and kissing it over and over.

His hair was so beautifully framing his face as he looked up towards you, his eyes were so shiny and bright, his dimples making him look adorable even after everything the two of you had just done. He took turns looking towards your pussy and then back towards you again. He couldn't get enough of you, he wanted to drive you mad and taste what you had to give him. You just wanted him to devour you. As his face looked at you, you were confused by his frustration until you realized what he was waiting for. Permission. Something else he'd mentioned he loved the idea of.

"You can eat my pussy, baby come here" You quickly laced your hand into his hair and pulled his head towards your centre and he let out the loudest groan as he connected to your pussy making you arch your back instantly.

He was quick with his mouth, making sure to explore every part of you once again. He usually took this much slower, enjoying the moment and the pleasure he brought you but right now his tongue was all over you in long quick strokes. He made sure to touch and devour every part of your centre. You couldn't help the gasp that came out of your mouth with every messy lick and suck he delivered to you. It's been less than two minutes and your eyes are already rolling back in pleasure, his soft tongue really flicking around your clit and your folds in reckless abandon. You could feel the pleasure shooting to your toes.

He was loud and unapologetically enthusiastic, slurping on your folds as he sucked them into his mouth tightly, releasing them only to quickly reconnect with them and groan. It was so soon for your body to be shaking but you couldn’t control it, you were even letting out small laughs in between moans at the sheer surprise that your eyes were rolling back and your body was twitching.

When you looked down you could see his mouth wide open as the tip of his tongue started working on your clit and you just lost it. You tugged on his hair harder accidentally but he loved it. He couldn't help but groan out loud and place his open mouth on you, sticking his tongue inside you and wiggling it around. 

You were struggling to breath and as your eyes continued to roam down you saw how painfully hard his dick was between his legs causing you to let “Fuck, Soobin you’re so good, you love pussy so much don’t you” tumble from your lips. The immediate nod of his head at your words sent your head spinning, you needed him, and you needed him now.

You reluctantly start to pull away from him, your own body angry at your for denying him, but you needed to get fucked so badly you were getting restless. "Fuck baby, shit, come here and fuck me please" and as much as it pained you to pull away from him, you could tell it pained him more.

"No, no no come back please, just a little more" his hands grip around your hips and he moves forward so that he can keep himself attached to you "just a little more I promise"

Rather than licking you this time his tongue plunges straight into your hole again and you can't help but let the whimpers fall from your mouth. Your back finally hit the bed as you allowed yourself to get lost in the pleasure "Just wanna taste you some more."

He was a man obsessed, drunk on pussy as his whimpers left him “Love pussy” - “Love tasting your pussy” - “Wanna eat your pussy forever” His words were nothing but muffled breathless whimpers that vibrated against you and caused the tightness of your orgasm to appear. Each lick was shooting sparks up your body and as he sucks on your clit your body just shakes with pleasure.

"Fuck, Soobin I'm gonna cum" Your words were barely there, maybe even just pants at this point as you stopped thinking about anything but his mouth. How was he so fucking good at this? You could hear him moaning your name between licks and he groaned against your clit every time he sucked it making the pleasure even more intense.

"UGH, please cum, come all over my face please" This was the clearest thing he’d said at this point, his begging for your cum becoming consistent. You started to hump up against his mouth, your hips taking over and doing anything to chase your high.

"Shit baby, Binnie, you're so fucking sexy. So needy for me, shit" your moans were so loud you should have been embarrassed but you weren't, your screaming for him and everything he was doing to you. His head was between your legs, mouth and chin and even the tips of his hair completely soaked as his eyes were closed focusing on his favourite taste. His hands stayed gripped on your thighs tightly holding you in place as he drowned in your pleasure..

"Umhum, so needy, 'm so needy, need you, please cum" His words were frantic as he pulled you closer to his face, not wanting to part with you for even a second as he got you close to your high "Please cum all over me"

At his words your pleasure started bubbling and tightening in your stomach and you knew it wouldn't take you long now. With each flick of his tongue against your body you twitched little bit more "Good boy Soobin, fuck yes I'm gonna cum"

His moans matched to when you were sucking his cock, and you knew he got just as much please eating you out as he did when you went down on him. You kept moaning out loud warnings of your high approaching and that only made his tongue fuck you even faster. When one of his hands finally reached around and started to rub your clit you couldn't help but finally let it all go.

"Fuck! Soobin! Fuck, yes!" Your entire body started shaking and your legs closed tightly around his head as you rode his face through your orgasm, his whimpers only letting you know that he didn't mind one bit. Your toes curled and you completely lost control of your body and voice, back arching and straining yourself, but the pleasure that was running through you was more than you could take as you screamed out for him.

You were slow to come down for your high. It lasted a lot longer than it usually would and all you could hear was Soobin between your legs moaning out in a painstakingly needy voice "More, fuck, more don't ever wanna stop please"

You had to pull yourself away from him or he’d suck all the juices out of your body at this point. If you weren't so out of breath you’d be giggling at the desperation. This time when you moved he didn't follow. He only fell back onto his calves and basked in the moment. His bottom lip was in his mouth as his head hung back, collar round his neck looking so beautiful and shiny. His jaw was clenching as his deep breaths left his nose. 

His cock looked hard as stone as you stared at his body and you were surprised at how quickly you wanted more. Was this how he felt all the time? Needy and ready to fuck you at any point? That's how he said he always felt, even when he wasn't ready to be with you physically he didn't shy away from telling you how much he wanted you. God, it made you feel bad for him. It made you wanna give him everything if he felt like this all the time, but most of all it made you want to give yourself to him "Tell me what you want Binnie?"

His eyes darted open to look at you, who had started to rise back up onto your elbows while you checked up on him. "You, I just want you" he said while nodding his head, agreeing with his own words. 

You didn't want to take your time with him anymore. You didn't want to tease or play you just wanted the pleasure that would finally come with his cock, you’ve just cum, but your pussy feels so fucking empty you just needed to be filled "come up here and fuck me like you've always wanted to"

He was careful about his movements, standing up and crawling over your body scared that you’d change your mind at any second. He moved over you while you moved further up the bed, head now on the pillows, he was hovering above you cautiously.

"Do you want this?" You knew he did, the hardness of his cock let you know that before anything else but the careful demeanour he was showing made you want to make sure. He didn't say anything, only nodded his head quickly forgetting that he could speak.

"No baby, don't nod your head. Tell me." You needed to hear it, mainly to make sure he truly did want this, but also to selfishly allow you to indulge in his need.

"God, yes, I wanna fuck you” You weren’t expecting the strong voice that came with his words, the confidence that came out of the timid man. He lowered his body slightly and started grinding against your pussy, his firm cock pressed against your body nicely as he looked deep into your eyes “wanna fuck you so bad. Wanna fuck you non-stop and hear you cum over and over again. Wanna be good for you baby"

You knew it was mean, but the feeling of him grinding against you had your sensitive pussy gushing all over again making you want to play with him, wanted to tease him one more time before you were to fucked out to do so "Tsk tsk, you sound awfully like a bad boy to me Soobin, a very bad boy" 

The panic that set into his eyes as he placed his forehead on top of you shaking his head in defiance "No! No I'm good for you, so fucking good, only ever good"

You’re not sure what compels you to do it, but you kiss his lips as he cries out for you. A simple but deep kiss and as you pull away, you can feel him trying to keep his lips on yours but you wanna tease him just a little more.

"Good boys don't say such naughty things Binnie" you reach your hand down to grab his ass and push him against you harder moving his hips so his cock aligns with your slit and you both moan out, Soobin slightly stuttering his hips as he tries so hard to control himself.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm such a fucking pervert. So perverted for you. You make me wanna cum so hard all the time" His eyes were tightly closed now as he continued to fuck against the slick lips of your pussy. You could tell he felt guilty and you knew it was time to stop, time to give him everything he wanted.

"Shhh, baby it's okay" you were soft for him as you raised your hands to his cheek pressing a quick, deep kiss to his lips. He kept going back for more kisses when you pulled away and it made it even more sweet and intimate, you’d never stop kissing him if that's what he wanted. 

His eyes opened "It is? Its it okay, I mean, for me to be naughty and perverted for you?" He was really asking, he needed you to tell him that it was okay. He was really playing into his role, possibly even losing himself into a submissive state completely. You really tried to make this no kinks attached and all romance but clearly Sobin couldn’t help himself, this is what he wanted and what he needed, and you could only oblige.

His cock was thrusting against your pussy and he still managed to make you soft, he made your heart beat faster and slower all at the same time and it would never fail to amaze you. You wanted to make him feel so good, you started to raise your hips slowly against him helping him with the friction.

"Maybe I even kinda like it when you're all perverted and pussy drunk Binnie." You could feel the wetness between your legs getting out of control covering your thighs and you pushed your head back into the pillow slightly moving your face away from him. You bite your lip and spank his ass a little, making him gasp. You grab a handful of his ass cheek and squeeze it in your hand, feeling how tense it is when he grinds on you

"Fuck please tell me you like it, need you to say it baby please" His forehead was pressed against yours now as he asked you tell him you liked him being naughty. His desperation was adorable and so fucking hot that you couldn’t keep teasing him, as much as you both loved it you needed to give him everything, all of you.

"Only if you fuck me good. Like the naughty boy you want to be, " His grinding halted as his head threw back, eyes rolling to the back of his skull, desperation seeping through his groans.

 He never thought he’d like to be called bad or naughty, his submissive side leaning more towards being good but the way you said it made it feel so scandalous that it only served to make his cock harder. He was whimpering and whining now "Yes, yes fuck" he was looking up to the ceiling as you were sure you could see tears starting to spill from his eyes. God, he was so cute like this.

You had to put him out of his misery "How do you want me, Binnie?"

"I.." Your question caught him off guard, obviously unsure of how to answer, his inexperience and need to please shining through "how do you.."

"Ah Ah,” You were quick to interject, you knew he was going to ask you how you wanted to do it, but you needed this to be about him. If he really wasn't sure then you’d help, but you knew Soobin too well. He clearly had preferences and he wasn’t scared to submit to them, you knew that he was asking due to doubt more than anything else, and you were here to eliminate all doubt from his mind “I asked how you wanted it. How does my bad boy wanna fuck me tonight?"

He was slow to crawl back onto his calves, bottom lip sucked into his mouth as he chewed on it slightly. You give him time, allow him to collect his thoughts as you could tell he was trying to ask you something, just planning on how to say it in his mind. "Can you?, erm, can you lie on your front and…"

The words got stuck in his throat a little bit, stumbling and blushing at what he was asking, first time nerves getting the better of him. "You wanna fuck me from behind?" you slowly flipped yourself around and pushed out your ass, face comfortably in the pillows as you danced your hips softly from side to side letting him enjoy the view.

"But lay flat and,... and keep looking at me, still wanna see your face. I mean, please" He was quick to interject with his shakey voice when your face hit the pillow so your head was to the side and you laid your body flat to the bed it made your heart beat fast. Even in times like this, he managed to make it romantic. You loved him so much

You looked over your shoulder, admiring the absolute sight in front of you. "Like this baby?" If you weren't so busy trying to keep your wits about you, making sure this was all perfect for him, then you know you’d have lost your mind just at the sight of him there, on his knees, trapping your legs between his, drooling over you.

"I'm ready Binnie, are you ready?" Ready was an understatement for the both of you. Your pussy was so wet, a mix of your cum and his saliva covering it, ready to be fucked. It'd been so long for you now, and as much as you didn't care how long he needed, you were desperate now he was ready.

"Can you…" his hands reach down to play with your ass cheeks, squeezing and kneading them softly his hands. He parted them slightly so he had a full view of your pussy lips and he moaned with excitement "will you tell me you want me?"

His voice was so soft and cute you could have pouted at him. He flip flops your emotions like nobody else "I want you Soobin" You matched his soft tone as you looked him in the eyes. His big, doe ones were flicking back and forth between you and your pussy.

"I want you so bad, I'm so wet for you" you're egging him on with your words, doing everything you can to make him feel special and wanted, and it worked.

Soobin had little experiance with this so he was still a little clumsy and excited. He shuffled over you, trapping your hips now slighly and started lining his cock up with your cunt.

He was teasing himself and in the process. He'd dip the head of his cock in and pull it out quickly, moaning and groaning while watching for you face contort with the feeling of being filled with just his tip for the first time.

"F" every time he dipped it in you could help but whimpering out fuck, but never managing to finish the word because he'd pull straight back out. "F" the tip of his cock was so fat it was enough to make you crazy, streching your walls so good "Fu" You didn't want to rush him, letting him do what he needed to, to enjoy this as much as he could but you were about to lose your mind. Luckily for you, so was he. "Fuck” finally you managed to get the whole word out, elongated, as he slowly slid his cock inside of you “yes, oh my god!" 

He finally pushed himself in all the way, making you relax into the pillow with your eyes closed, feeling blissful. How nice it felt to be stretched out on his cock finally, it sent you straight to heaven as your pussy started pulsing around him. You were being stretched out for the first time in what felt like years and Soobin's cock stretched you wide, you were finally fully and it was phenomenal.

"Keep watching me please" his voice was breathless as he was quick to set up a steady rhythm.  As you looked back you couldn't help the loud moan you let out. His eyes were glued to where the two of you were joined, sweat beading from his forehead as he gnawed on his bottom lip every few seconds speeding up his thrusts "watch how hard I work for you" 

Every sentence from his mouth made your pussy flutter and your eyes roll back. You loved every little perverted thing that came from his lips. His cock was deep inside you and his grip on your hips was hard as he continued pumping himself I'm and out. All you could hear was the wetness of your pussy along with the whimpers coming from Soobin.

"You" as you tried to praise him his thrusts would knock the breath out of you making you mind go slightly dumber every time "work.so.hard.for.me" you must have resembled a porn star at this point. There was something about his need to have you watch him while he fucked you that was playing with your head, only making your pussy clench and twitch harder around him. 

As your moans got louder and the pleasure got more intense you were starting to lose control of yourself and your body. Declarations of love leaving your mouth constantly "fuck, love you so much, love this so much" and your body shaking the harder he went.

Soobin's head fell back the second he heard you declarations. He was consumed with you, he was annoyed he waited so long and yet so glad he did, because this is perfect "I'm your baby boy, fuck im yours, fuck"

He starts leaning forwards, one hand running through your hair and his face was now closer to your ear, not once ruining his pace that was driving you insane "Want you to cum all over me baby please, ____ please cum for me"

"There! Yes" with the slight shift in angle he started hitting so deep, nudging your G-spot perfectly that you had to cover your mouth with your hand to stop the embarrassing screams you were letting get too loud. With one hand now grasping the pillow and one over your mouth your moans started becoming cries of pleasure.

Despite your attempts though your hand made for a weak silencer. "Binnie you're so fucking good at this" Your words were still clear, much to Soobins glee and it was obvious your orgasm was finally starting to build up again  

"Umhum, just for you ___, just for you, wanna fuck you all night and day. Wanna feel your cream all over me all the time, fuck yes, oh my god, pussy. Pussys so nice" His filthy mouth was unmatched but his constant, random moans for pussy is what was sending the constant tingles to your centre.

His face was now finally next to yours, hand still gripped in your hair, pulling your head up only slightly so you were no longer covering your mouth. The smirk on his face as he heard your moans clearer showed you that's exactly what he wanted.

"Fuck you're are a dirty little pervert aren't you?" You knew that would turn him on beyond belief judging by your prior conversation. It only spurred him to fuck you harder and faster, desperate please and cries leaving his mouth "Fuck, yes, yours"

The clench in your core when he said 'yours' fuck, you were just as into this as he was. Your orgasm maybe have been building slow due to you just having one but this started to feel more intense "Yeah, mine, my dirty little pervert"

"Cum for me, please ___ cum for me again" he was begging so hard, and if he didn't just bury his head in your neck you once again would have seen the tears pricking out of his eyes. His thrusts were becoming sloppy but hard, so hard you body was pushing itself up the bed

"Come back, come back shit, yes." Soobin's hands snaked around your body, squeezing you tight and keeping you still so he could keep hitting that spot that made you scream. You were so tightly confined against him and the bed that you felt trapped, but that only made this all feel better, Soobin was such a pleasure chaser.

"Binnie I'm cumming, I'm gonna cum so hard" Finally your orgasm hit you like a fucking brick. Your entire body shaking on his hold, pussy and legs quivering as you ride out your orgasm wave after wave after wave.

"Cream on me, yes, Fuck, cream all over me" He seemed equally as blissed out as you did. You were held so tightly in his arms that you could barely move when your senses came back to you

You went slightly limp as he shifted himself upwards, sitting up and looking down at you like you were an angel. His eyes were glassy, and one of his hands started to trace around your cheeks delicately. He was enthralled by you, so in love and so turned on just from you. He struggled to understand the emotions he was feeling, never having love and lust play in tandem together like this. 

You didn't know the thoughts that were swimming round in his head at that second but you could tell he was caught up in the moment, a swell of happiness filling both of your hearts as you kissed and held each other. Silence filling the room as you both basked in the moment 

"Shit that felt so fucking good"  You couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, breaking the silence, but as you shuffled you saw Soobin knot his eyebrows together looking distressed. At first you thought you did something wrong, worrying that you ruined a moment that Soobin was still basking in but it didn't take you more than five seconds to realise that wasn't the case.

He was still hard, your mind clouded as you came and you just assumed he did at the same time as you but no, this whole time he's been stiff inside of you probably just waiting to keep going after letting you have your moment.

You slowly started wiggling your hips just to create a small amount of friction between the two of you, testing the waters. "You didn't cum? you still need to cum don't you baby?" 

He was starting to look a little helpless and needy as you moved your hips against him. The once delicate and adoring features turning back into needy whines and a blissed out expression. "Need to cum so bad" it was almost a growl, the deep groan in his voice a complete contrast of the soft features of his face.

You can't help but pull your bottom lip into your mouth, biting on it while watching his expression. You've just come, you have a little more clarity in your mind and all you can think of now is his enjoyment "Awh Bin, let me help you"

You reposition the both of you, you're now sat on his thighs, his body facing yours as he lays underneath you. You used your hands to stroke his legs, body, arms, anywhere you could to reassure him that you were still here with him.

As your fingers reached up to his neck, you gently tugged on the collar, slowly outlining the metal letters that spell put your name. "Play with yourself, think of me, and play with yourself"

His reaction was immediate "Ah, ah" his hands flew down to his cock as he started pumping it. You sat up, giving him all the access he needed to his own body. You've watched him play with himself before, it was one of your favourite things, but you've never been this close,always giving him a comfortable amount of space. 

"That's it baby, tell me what you're thinking" you could tell he was enjoying this. His head is thrown back into the pillows but his eyes aren't leaving yours. He didn't care about how he looked or what he was doing, he just enjoyed every second of the feeling.

Once again you worried you were taking it too far, but the excited and sloppy way he pumped his cock showed you this was exactly what he wanted. 

You stroked his thighs as you encouraged him to find his voice "Come on Bin, tell me what you're thinking of"

"Thinking of filling you up" one of his free hands reached out to squeeze your thigh as his words came out in breathy pants  "thinking of you riding me and kissing me. Thinking of you claiming me. Shit I'm so close"

You couldn't stop yourself. You needed to give him everything. "Is it anything like this baby?" Sliding your body up you position yourself so the tip of his cock touched your entrance and you slowly slid down on it, rolling your eyes back and quickly starting to bounce up and down on him.

You don't take time with him, you want him to cum and you want him to cum quickly. You’re so full of him that it's hard to keep your composure. The temptation to just sit on it and grind your hips, feeling him touch everything inside you, but no, this was about him. "God! Yes! It's better, fuck you're so much better".

"Soobin, my sweet, good, baby boy." Words of praise kept slipping from your mouth, a babbling mess of love and need all for him. He isn’t fairing any better. He's just as lost for words. High pitched moans coming from his mouth as his eyes don't leave your tits, breath lost and little whimpers of the word ‘Pussy’ leaving his lips.

"Fuck, Binnie, are you pussy drunk?” at your words he throws his head back into the pillows and starts nodding wildly. His hands start running through his pretty locks and his back starts to arch as the moans and whimpers only get louder and louder. He's close, and the arching of his back makes his hips move and push deeply inside of you making you lose composure 

“Cum inside me" At this point it was more of a demand. You weren’t sure how much more you could take while keeping it all about him. He was hitting his peak and you wanted to feel it. You’d found a much more dominant side to you as you watched him writhing around in pleasure on the sheets as you did everything to bring him pleasure. 

"Shit cum inside me right now" and he did. He did exactly as you asked, noticeably enjoying the demands that were coming out of your mouth. His arms engulfed your body pulling your chest against his as his hips buck inside you harshly. His body shakes as he starts whining loudly in your ear as his cum fills you up. 

You could feel his cock inflating inside of you and it made your eyes roll back. It was perfect, and as his body stopped shaking as hard and his arms around you started to loosen up and you slowly rolled off his body making sure to keep contact with him though, letting him know you weren’t going anywhere

He was breathless, body completely spent as he kept his body close against yours tucking his head into your shoulder where he could.

“Soobin, that was amazing” You could see his blush on his face, but no words left his mouth. He felt shy. You knew him well enough to know that. All you did was kiss his head and allow him time to bask in the bliss of the moment staying with him for as long as he needed and making sure that he was never reluctant to be intimate again.