#i'm still really stressed and we have to move tomorrow ugh

[californiaquail]

well boss said reese has no indication of any uti or crystals only a tiny amount of red blood cells which can be caused by the manual expression. coworker insisted there was no point in taking rads to see if he's blocked from the string so going to try some laxaire and hope 😬🤞🏻also then my boss gave me a ride to the bus stop so i didn't have to carry the huge crate which was uncharacteristically nice of him 🤨

[ros3ybabe]

Where Have I Been?

hello lovelies. so, I started the challenege, did one day, and all of a sudden I feel off the face of the earth. I fell into a bit of a depression, and while I've managed to pull myself out, life has been busy busy busy! This is probably the 2nd busiest week of the year (the 1st will be in August, and you'll find out why). Here's an update on life:

I fly to Colorado on the 16th, so....under 5 days now. I haven't packed or anything yet, but I plan on doing that either tomorrow or Thursday. And I have to clean and prepack for when I return because....

I signed a new lease for a new place to live! I'll have roommates who I haven't met yet (I'm taking over someone lease, actually), but my lease starts August 18th. I return from Colorado on the 14th of August, so....I'm going to be very busy once I return.

I decided to call it quits on getting a 2nd job. It's going to mess up the schedule with my first job, and it would only make me 200$ more a month, which I'm not worried about missing our on since I'll still sell stuff on depop once I return from Colorado and I'm going full time at my current job.

I've gone out to lunch with my dad a few times as well, it's been really nice hanging out with him and spending time with my dad. I lucked out in the dad department and spending time with him is one of my favorite things!

I've been debating going to San Fransisco in October for an XG concert, but I don't know if I'll have the money or ability to anymore. (thank you new apartment and all those fees and expenses!)

my anxiety has been terrible. I haven't changed anything about what I do, but I did squish a lot of anxiety inducing things into the span of two weeks, which....my bad on that. Now I know, don't do that to myself.

I bought new makeup! The juvias place bronzer, charlotte tillbury setting spray, nyx eyebrow stuff, and blush, ughhh I love buying new makeup, I just wish it didn't cost money!

I've gotten better at doing my makeup! I've had people not even notice I'm wearing it because it looks natural despite being like, a full face! Thank you perfect color matches on my skin tint, foundation, and concealors!

I went to two movies with a friend. We saw the new Strangers: Chapter One and the Planet of the Apes movie. Both were definitely good, in my opinion.

I now have to plan with my boyfriend for when he needs to come down here and get his stuff and work out changing the utilities to our roommates name since I'm leaving. I don't feel like it should be my job to coordinate that, but oh well. I guess it's too hard for him and his best friend (my roommate) to call each other for once?? Ugh, men get on my nerves sometimes.

I need to ask my dad and a friend to help me move upon my return, which also means I won't be able to work that weekend, which kind of sucks.

I need to declutter my room and start throwing away things I don't want or need anymore this week to make it easier on myself when I return from Colorado but hahaha I procrastinate a lot.

I'm stressed about paying rent. I'll have to pay rent for here and rent/fees for the new place before august and then September's rent for the new place, and my new rent is about double what I pay now. so yayy, adulting and finances. I don't feel qualified to be an adult, but here I am, age 21, an adult.

That's about it for now! Lots of stress, lots of anxiety, lots of stuff happening super close together. But that's life, I guess. Forgive me for my absence from my blogs. I also stopped studying spanish for now, and my routines are non-existent. Colorado will change that, tho, for sure. I do plan on updating a little more frequently once things settle down when I'm in Colorado. but for now, it'll be kinda here and there with my posting.

thank you for all the patience and kindness, lovelies. til next time 🩷

[thatfreshi]

"Unsavory Purposes" (Uni AU P. 4)

No, I didn't write a filler part. How dare you ask me that? I would never write fluffy filler bc I want all my little guys to be happy. Anyways, Gale intro finally!!!! Also we get to see the only other ship I have planned for this fic series...

@justporo

You, Shadow and Lae get breakfast after shooting the shit for a couple hours. The smell of eggs and potatoes fills the air as the three of you reach the bottom floor of the dorm. It's bustling with people, all trying to get somewhere. It's Sunday, and classes start tomorrow, so people are scrambling to get their textbooks before they go on backorder. The three of you part ways to put together a plate, and eventually come back together at a booth next to a window.

"Ugh, I was enjoying having a break. Back to the grind for me I suppose."

Shadowheart sighs, moving cheesy eggs around on her plate.

"You love it, don't act like you're not a workaholic."

Before they can start arguing again, a stressed man comes over to talk to Shadowheart.

"Is it true? Did Astarion really tell your entire floor to come to me if they have an issue?"

"Oh Gale, it's sweet that you're even asking. Of course he did."

Gale puts his head in his hands.

"I'm going to kill him. Mind if I sit Shadow?"

"Not at all. Tav, this is Gale, artist extraordinaire, TA for Ms. Mystra."

"Yes, it is indeed I. Thank you for the wondrous introduction Shadow."

Finally, someone's major here has piqued your interest.

"Oh, what do you study?"

"All kinds of things, but my thesis is going to be a series of paintings."

Lae'zel rolls her eyes.

"The arts. So silly, what a waste."

She stabs her eggs with her fork.

"Why, are you thinking of majoring in some kind of art?"

You shrug.

"Honestly, I don't really know yet."

Shadowheart almost spits out her water.

"You... you don't know your major? This place is going to eat you alive."

She and Gale laugh to themselves, but it doesn't bother you. She's not wrong after all, it's odd that you haven't picked a major at this point. There are just too many good options.

"Well, you could be like Lae'zel and study something boring like history."

Shadow playfully nudges her arm, to which she grumbles.

"I didn't come here for a degree idiot, I came here to run."

It's silent for a moment, before Gale solemnly speaks up.

"How is it by the way? Your leg?"

She almost seems sad, but quickly shifts her expression.

"It's fine."

And that's the end of that conversation. Gale doesn't pry any further, but it clearly has him concerned. You realize you actually don't know what's wrong with her leg, other than that it's stiff when she walks. Before you can ask what happened, Shadowheart interrupts.

"Holy shit. Who is that Gale?!"

You turn inconspicuously to where she's looking, and you see the skater from last night, Karlach.

"Oh, she just transferred. Karlach. Apparently the best wrestler we've had in years."

"She looks like she could carry me to safety..."

You smirk.

"Shadow, you're staring at her."

She quickly averts her gaze, blushing.

"Right. My bad."

It's too late though, because the wrestler is now walking towards your table.

"Hey there! Sup Gale?"

"Nothing much Karlach. The dorm treating you well?"

"Oh hell yeah. I just thought I'd come over because your friend was staring at me, didn't know if she needed something."

The woman's voice is a little playful, almost as if she knows Shadow was staring for... unsavory purposes.

"No- I... I'm sorry. You're fine, I don't need anything. I mean, I need some things, like food and water and-"

Gale turns to her, mouthing something along the lines of 'shut up.'

"Well, alright. Good to see you Gale! Off to get some breakfast."

Karlach then winks at Shadowheart, before sauntering off. You're in shock from the massive flirting that just happened in front of you, and Gale is as well. Lae'zel is ignoring it all, still stabbing away at her eggs.

"Shadow... how did you even manage to pull that off."

"I have no idea because I certainly panicked! But dear Goddess do I NEED her to crush me."

You and Gale laugh.

"What! I'm serious, she could destroy me with those thighs and I would thank her."

"You're going to scare off your new friend Shadowheart. Tav, I apologize on her behalf. She doesn't know how to act around buff women."

"It's alright! I think it's sweet. You two would be cute."

"We would be, wouldn't we..."

[iamasaltcracker]

The pilot - Stiles Stilinski x reader

pronouns: she/her

characters: reader/Stiles Stilinski

tw: descriptions of dead bodies, language?

----------

It was late at night. I was lying in my bed and listening to music while thinking of all sorts of things. This was the time in the day when I could completely relax and not be overwhelmed with life stuff.

At first, I didn't hear it but as the noise got louder I took out an earbud paying close attention. I was not going to get killed today I had things to do tomorrow.

The shadows on my wall were moving and shaped a human shadow. Woah. Moving my head slowly and trying to find my mp3 player with my hand was stressful. But after turning to my bedroom window I let out a breath of relief.

It wasn't an intruder or a creep, it was Stiles.

"Stiles mf Stilinski! Wha- Why are you here, at literally 2 in the fucking morning!" I whisper shout as I open the window and let him in.

He had a grin on his face when he looked at me and said: "There's a dead body I'm in the woods! I picked it up on the police radio frequency. They are saying that half of it is missing and they are putting together a search to find the other half!" he talked really fast with excitement and he was just so... perfect.

Once I stopped admiring him and his words sank in, I blew up. "What the hell? Really? Which forest? Are we going? Wh-" I was muttering off when Stiles silenced me with a kiss. It worked. He then looked at me, the way he does with soo much admiration, and said: " I love you".

My face flashed him a big smile: "I love you too babe. Now... where are we going". I wasn't just going to let him go off all by himself though I doubt that would happen since Scotty was probably already waiting in the jeep.

"Off to the reserve. There is a big search so will need to lay low" he says and grabs my hand to leave but then realizes I'm still in my pajamas. So I quickly and as quietly as I can turn around take them off and reach for the clothes I had ready for the morning.

"Done," I say and pull him out the window with me. And there parked under the neighbor's tree is the jeep and by the looks of it Scott is already waving me over. Ugh. Andddd he is sitting in the passenger's seat, which means I am going to have to be the one in the back. He always beats me to it. I slowly dash to the seats and wait till we're out of the view of my house to ask the details.

Stiles explains that his father the Sheriff and the entire Beacon County Department along with the State Police are in the woods looking for a body that two joggers found only half of -a girl in her twenties and the officers are currently searching for the other half.

"Did anyone of you think to bring a weapon?" I say as we all exit the vehicle that Stiles parked near the entrance of the preserve where it could go unnoticed. "I didn't even think about that, yikes." "What if the killer is still out there?!"

As we are walking through the wood we talk and look around with the flashlight Stiles brought with us.

Scott starts saying how he wanted to get a full night's rest 'cause lacrosse tryouts are tomorrow. "-I'm playing this year! in fact, I'm going to play first-line". he says confidently. But then my Stiles starts saying it's unrealistic when I remember: "Hey guys?" "Hmmm?" "What" "I was just wondering which part of the body are we looking for..." Silence.

"Huhh I don't know. I haven't even thought about it" Stiles says as Scott starts to breathe a little harder. "Hey, you okay there?" I ask him with concern. "Yeah I'm good but maybe the asthmatic one should hold the flashlight eh?" he responds as he takes his inhaler. I do have to admit we are I think running very high on adrenaline and are kind of out of breath.

"Get down," says Stiles as he gestures to the officers right in front of us. Oh Oh. "Run. Stay behind me"

And there we go Scott right behind Stiles and me with my great form trying not to hit a tree. At some point, we all get separated but then I hear someone has run into an officer and the next voice I hear belongs to Sheriff Stilinski so I duck the hell down.

"-so where are your usual partners in crimes?" the sheriff says clearly addressing me and Scott while he flashes his flashlight around the near trees. I get the chance to see Scott on the other side hiding behind a tree. None of us answer so he takes Stiles by the neck and tells him that they're gonna have a long talk about the invasion of privacy. Funny how close I was and he didn't see me... Yelp I was relieved too quickly cause I must have put more pressure on a twig and it made it snap. craps. Now there was a flashlight in my face and I was suddenly walking with them. Funny how that happened. Damn me and my stealth.

"I- Ok let's just get you two home. We'll talk about this. Why do I even try." he lets out an exasperated sigh and opens the driver's door of the jeep to let Stiles in. I give the sheriff an apologetic look that says sorry but also not I don't know I think he knows me well enough to tell.

In the car, once we're alone, I say: "... and we didn't even find it."Ugh, I know, right!" he says as he starts the engine. "Do you wanna stay at my house tonight? Dad's probably not going to be home for a while while they search." I'm looking out the window when I reply: "Sure. My parents aren't going to notice since they leave for work early and don't check on me to not wake me. "

*next day in school* (A/n: idk how to write the bit where we both just forget about scott sad ik but like hmmmm)

It's now the next morning after our adventure in the woods, and we have just built a human wall so that Scott could show us the bite he sustained last night. He says a wolf bit him- but that is littery impossible because there haven't been wolves in California for a long while now.

And guess what he also found the other half. of the body. That must have been a cray night for him I couldn't imagine since I just left him there with no help.

*at the end of the school day*

Scott is something else. He's different somehow. I don't know how yet but I am about to find out.

♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡

I OVERCOMPLICATED IT. LIKE I AM NOT WRITING A WHOLE STORY (did I tho- idk my first one so like:// )*insert crying emoji*. SORRYYYYYYY. but this is like practice to cringe sooooooooo.

This was soo fun to write cause I love reader inserts. Leave any corrections and suggestions in the comments, please.

written:11/03/2022 (ik lmao)

[meg2md]

Back to Life Is Really Hard (Residency Edition)

Things I've learned: I do like obstetrics. Mainly, I like that routine obstetric clinic visits are fast and easy, I like that I know how to do basic labor and triage tasks quickly and efficiently, and I like that I get to do cesarean deliveries. That being said, I think I can live without it. There's lots of confounding hours (like who's on my team, the better hours, etc), but gyne is where I'm much, much happier. And that's where I am now!! At the same time I'm trying to buckle up for MIGS applications which happen next year, and basically the advice given to me was to make peace with the numbers because it's possibly one of the most competitive fellowships across all specialties with a 50/50 chance. I'm motivated: I'm about to submit an IRB for my research project, I'm working on manuscript revisions for my med school paper, I'm involved with ACOG on a state level, I have another research project that might come to fruition, and I'm hoping to design a surgical skills curriculum for medical students. I've also started looking in-depth at away rotations for MIGS, and I'm making a spreadsheet of every program I want to apply to (so, probably 50-60 programs). But I also need to be realistic and have a Plan B, because it's a coin flip whether I match.

But to level with ya'll, despite this sliver of ambition I've regained, I'm SO depressed. Like, VERY FREAKING DEPRESSED. I'd say my mood is largely fine, but man, it is incredibly difficult to get out of bed, to be on time, want to be around my co-residents. I'm finally on weekly Prozac again, but my dose most likely needs increased. I'm also starting therapy (again) tomorrow. But it's just... hard. My life got pretty bad at the start of the year. My cat getting really sick, going into a lot of debt from vet bills and conference costs, my car getting vandalized. My oncology rotation was probably the worst I have ever performed in all of residency. I got some really, really tough feedback. It really knocked me on my ass. Things are slowly getting better, but again, I'm working against this baseline depression. The best I can describe it is just... heavy, or blurred. I lost my zest for life. It's like my life is muted.

I drew a tarot card yesterday to describe where I'm at in my life right now. I drew the 10 of Swords.

Yep. That's residency.

My tarot draws are always like this. I gravitate towards swords and cards like The Tower. It's not all bad, though. I like the concept of death, decay, and endings. I like that it creates fertile soil with which life can rise anew. Consider the artwork from the Light Seer's tarot:

We face the loss, the betrayal, the stress... whatever it is that is causing us so much pain. It will always be a part of us, but what rises up from the ashes is much brighter and stronger, "vulnerable, whole, and totally and powerfully alive."

I drew the Tower card before I drew the 10 of Swords. I like the chronology of it, too. It makes sense with the sequence of events in my life, first undergoing its major upheaval (my break-up with my fiance, moving to a new city alone, being dumped by the rebound I fell in love with, living independently for the first time in over a decade, all with the background of my chronic depression)... and then when the fire finally goes out and the dust settles... it's this empty, desiccated landscape, full of hurt and pain and loneliness. But despite all this, the sun still shines, the rain falls, and slowly life springs forth from the rot. I really resonate with cards like these, like Death, The Tower, The Fool, any card that represents endings and beginnings.

(Lol I lost my actual journal and my thoughts had to go somewhere so here we are.)

Anyway back to medicine (ugh), I'm again trying to focus on the ME outside of residency. The YA romantasy books, training for a Tough Mudder, resuming my interest in obscure non-fiction, tennis.

I'm also researching creatine??? IDK my brain is in a million places right now. My boxing class got cancelled so I biked for 40 minutes while watching 1000-lb sisters. Before I was obsessively looking up MIGS fellowship programs and I needed to get my mind OFF residency and medicine.

And since I find my mind drifting back to something that already occupies WAY TOO MUCH SPACE in my life, I'm gonna peace and work on Kingdom of Ash until I fall asleep

[heartfucksmouth]

guys I did it

I survived a full day of being a parent WITHOUT A NAP. Aidan slept through the night in bed with me and myles, he woke up at 5am and it's 845pm and I survived the day, I didn't even lose my temper or have a meltdown or sensory overload (it is like 30 degrees out and I'm still sweaty all the time why) and Myles didn't get out of work til 11 (he's working 1am-11a ugh peak season for holidays).

sure, I got a little stressed and my brain was going in a hundred directions at once, but I GOT STUFF DONE. I DIDNT NEED A NAP (I mean, I did, I always ~need a nap, but I managed without one!) holy shit never thought it would happen. I told myles I feel insane bc I was so so sad last night but today I've been such goofy weirdo and laughing at everything. maybe the sleepy-delirium is good for me lmao

~let me list my accomplishments for the day please

•I got all our laundry out of the dryer (myles folded it later)

•I put in a load of Aidan's laundry

•made coffee and a peanut butter + jelly sandwich for breakfast lmao and a pitcher of formula for the day

•I chopped up apple and banana to put in the little mesh fruit feeder things and froze them for his teething pains. he's doing okay on the chamomile tea right now but I can't wait to use the camilia again cuz it's concentrated and I won't feel like I'm filling his belly up on tea water

• did dishes and washed Ade's bottles

• I packed up a lingerie set that I sold on depop, added some cute little surprise gifts, wrote a quick thank you card and dropped it at the post office while Myles hung with Aidan.

• While Myles had Aidan, I also sorted through my stuff that's in boxes from when I moved here, repacked some things, and got almost all my boxes onto the shelving unit in the basement. it makes me sad that I have so much cool stuff and can't display it or be my full self and feel at home.

•I took care of the dogs too, made puzzles for Zaiyah and made sure Bear wasn't licking his surgical incision - he is SO STRONG, he even tried to chase a rabbit today. crazy fucker, it's been like 3 days since you had half your shoulder muscle removed. gave lots of pets and sweet words bc they are the best dogs.

•I got little dude to nap while Myles worked out and we finished Squid Game The Challenge (minus the finale in December) and he slept for 3 frickin hours. I also deleted a million photos that were taking up all my phone storage.

•and finally I had Ade hang in his crib to wind down, while I took some photos for depop and packed a box to donate to savers tomorrow

Editing to add that I still managed to tell Myles I love him and get some good kisses and quick cuddles and man, I just really appreciate our relationship. we're insane for having a child after a year of being together - but... are we that insane? our relationship just keeps growing and getting better and feeling more solid. it's incredible. seeing him be a Dad makes me love him even more and I find him even more attractive. I used to think I was lucky in my last relationship (and people told us they were jealous) but no. no no. I was settling for less than i deserved back then (lessons lessons) this, is it. this is the relationship to thank the universe for blessing me with it.

and that's all in between bottles, diaper changes, soothing crying, playing, tummy time, crawling practice, lots of spit ups, dancing and making him laugh.

I ALSO TOOK THE CUTEST PHOTOS OF HIM WEARING A STAR WARS GROGU SWEATER AAAHHH

hope you get the idea even though I'm keeping half his face anonymous lol I just don't want photos of my kid floating around the internet - unless where I can control it. his grandparents are ridiculous with posting his photos and I can only hope they have private profiles (I keep meaning to ask)

also if we are mutuals and talk, you probably have seen photos of him. but if you haven't, you can surely ask :) he's the kind of cute where you wanna scream and it lights up your day lol not to brag, I'm still in awe I created such a beautiful human.

anyways I'm really fucking proud of myself right now. I won't always feel this way or have days like this, so I'm gonna yell about it while I feel good.

ps I STILL need to shower. the one thing I didn't manage to do. tomorrow is the day bc my mom is coming to watch Aidan for a few hours and im gonna shower and faceplant in my bed for a nap before doing my errand. I cannot wait to shower lol being a new mom is truly wild

also the way I'm writing this must sound truly manic/adhd brain and y'all just have to deal, this is who I am now.

[pbandjesse]

Today was. Like 4 different days. I am excited to go to sleep.

I sort of got to sleep in. But not actually. I didn't have to be up until 8 but I would feel stress and couldn't stay asleep. I did get to see James briefly before they left. And I would get up pretty soon after that.

I felt like my face was really puffy this morning. Like my eyes and cheeks seemed puffy. I had coughed really really hard at 6am. James said I sounded like I was struggling really bad. I would do a little better once I was up and standing. And my face would stop being puffy by the middle of the day. But I was feeling kind of bad about myself to start.

I had breakfast. James left me an omelet in the microwave. I shared some of it with Sweetp. And would get myself ready to leave.

My appointment was at 9. And everyone was driving stupid. And me being nice and letting someone in front of me caused me to lose the last parking space in the lot so I had to turn around in the office ally and park on the street. Which was fine and only mildly annoying because the couple that snagged the last spot were still sitting in their car when I was done in the doctor's which means their appointment was after mine and it annoyed me. Ugh

I had a good appointment. I think my doctor thinks I'm funny. James says it's because I recount stories like a stand up special. But the thing I like about this doctor is because he doesn't dismiss me because I'm silly in my delivery.

I tried to make him understand that while I was mostly okay in this moment, I would deteriorate throughout the day and the night was the worst. And he got it. He thinks I'm still a little sick because of the rhumatologist medicine. So he wants me to try antibiotics. And taking Flonase consistently to try and help the drowning. And if nothing improves he has also prescribed me the same steroid as before and maybe if I take that throughout the day rather then just once it'll help longer. He's really nice.

I paid and made a followup appointment. And headed out.

I was so close to the museum that I decided to stop and say hello to James. When I got there I got some compliments on my outfits from Meghan and one of the newer educators and it was so nice to chat with Meghan. She would actually reach out to me later and we made plans to hang out in a few weeks. She's great.

I also just hugged in James for a minute and told them what the doctor said. It was a worthwhile stop for sure.

I left as their group was coming in and went to my job. It wasn't much longer then the drive from home. And it wasn't a bad drive. No real traffic but someone started tailgating me and flashing their high beams at me for not tailgating the person in front of me I guess. And then once they got around me I watched them swerve in and out of traffic and it was so dangerous. Stupid behavior.

I got to camp and put away low ropes first thing. Before I even got to the office. And it was much warmer today so the only thing that sucked was moving the ladder around. But I got it done and it was honestly beautiful out and I had worn enough layers to be comfy.

I went to the office next and filled them in on the appointment. And then about the workshop tomorrow. Checked in about Samson and anything they wanted me to bring. Specifically the quad poster that needs to be repainted with more current pictures but it's something at least.

I would do some work on my document and my workshop and just some other little things. I had the rest of my spaghetti from last night for lunch. It was a nice day.

In the afternoon I would take a walk to the art building. I collected the got glue guns and a few small things for tomorrow. I also grabbed my hiking slip one and some of the clothes I had up there to bring home and decide if I'm getting rid of them for real. I grabbed some clogs I had up there too and wanted to try those again. But I tried them tonight and remembered why I was getting rid of them. Ah well. Worth trying.

I went to the nature building next and got a tank to set up for Samson. He was mostly buried but I stole some of his dirt for the travel tank. And would leave him for now. I would return for him at the end of the day.

When I got back to the office I poked around the attic. Worked on writing my feild trip schedule for the next couple months. Got confused about a creative alliance workshop I had written down and sent an email to Parker and then immediately realized what it was and emailed him back to ignore my last email and he thought that was very funny. Sometimes I move to fast with sending emails!!

But it's fine

I got my calendar all set up and hung it in the window.

I would do a little designing for the wedding open house were having. And went through some photos Elizabeth uploaded to the drive. And worked on that until I needed more feedback before I could move forward and Elizabeth was on a tour so it really decided the end of my day for me.

I would chat with Heather and promised to take pictures tomorrow. And went to get Samson.

He was poking out of his shell and he's a sweet boy so it was not a big deal to transfer him. I brought the tank to my car and buckled him in in the backseat.

And then it was time to go.

I stopped at the grocery store. To get Caeser dressing for dinner. And then drove home. It was not a bad drive. Not to much traffic. I was just tired.

When I got back I took Samson in first. Then came back to the car for eveything else. I moved my car closed for the second run. And saw our neighbor Ryan and we waved. It is nice to make friends with the neighbors.

I spent the next bit of time putting my materials together for the workshop. And putting some stuff away. I'm just thrilled with the studio right now and I can't wait to a really have time to sit and make things. I have some plans!

James would come home soon. I was moving some stuff into our book cases and was so happy to see them. I started not feeling amazing and decided to stop working and went to chill on the couch.

James made me a salad and they had falafel. And we would chill for a bit before it was time to go to the theater.

James was working concessions at theater project and it was a happenstance show so I wanted to go. And it was fun! When we got there it was nice to see Chris and then happenstance had set up a puzzle of the garden of earthly delights and I worked on it with someone else.

I'm sad I didn't get their name but they we were so fun and we talked and worked on the puzzle for a good half hour. We talked about puzzles and school and cults and shows at this theater and they were just so lovely. But then I ran to the bathroom as the house opened and when I came back they were gone and I couldn't find them again. I hope we cross paths again!

The show was fun. I always love the different clown styles of happenstance. This was very different. It was medieval. Which is much later in history then they usually play but it was fun. Not my favorite show but I thought it was really wonderful. There was apart where a demon was attached to a guy and all the costumes were just so fun. I had s really good time.

I was struggling to not cough the whole time though. I had to use the inhaler twice during an 80 minute show. I hope I wasn't disturbing anyone but I know I was at least a little. Sorry everyone.

When the show was done I followed James out. I had saved them a seat at the very top of the theater and we were able to quickly pop out the back. Grabbed our coats and headed out.

We walked past the new club that opened next to/under theater project and you could literally hear the music from the club during the show so I'm sure that has become an issue for theater project. I hope they can figure something out there because it's kind of a shitty situation. Like no one is in the wrong but it's not cool for sure.

We got to the car and my mom had just called. I'm like. Okay whos dead. Also if it's my dad I'm gonna be pissed. But no one is dead. Dad is just in the hospital. He is okay. This is a good thing. It feels to heavy to talk about, but he's getting help and that is positive movement. And I just want to know my parents are okay and not just living but happy and thriving. And I'm proud of him for taking the steps to get better. Even if it's really hard.

We would get home and see that Samson was awake and eating lettuce. Sweetp was being a cutie. James gave me a hug and took my workshop stuff to the car so I wouldnt have to in the morning. And I went to take a shower.

The shower helped a little but I really want to sleep now. I am coughing still but it's not as constant and not as hardcore. Tomorrow I will be better.

Tomorrow is a busy day. I have my workshop until 1130. And I hope to have Samson back to camp by 1230. And then back home not long after 1. I would like to sleep for a little. And then I head to the musuem for the fundraiser! I'm looking forward to the night. I hope it's a lot of fun.

I hope you all have a good night too. Sleep well. Take csre of yourselves. Take care of eachother. Good night.

[periwinckles]

The Train back to Twelve - chapter 21

Week 12 - Delly

Thom is still asleep.

Saul is up and running, but I snuggle closer to Thom. I love to watch him. He's always embarrassed when he notices me staring during the day, even when I point out that he does the same thing. So I take my time to run my fingers through his hair as I try to memorize every freckle on his face.

He's been wearing himself out again. They were doing a bit of overtime to try and finish the first houses, which they succeeded a couple of days ago. Instead of taking a couple of days off, they jumped right into two new houses, one for the McDonalds and another one for the Thompsons. Add that to the stress of doubling our population and you get a very tired crew chief.

Rest doesn't come easy for him. When we arrived here, we decided we would work five days and rest two days a week. He would always find something to do on the weekend, even when I urged him to rest. Only when we got together, was he persuaded to take the days off. A while ago, he told me how he never had days off before. When he was in the community home, all the kids had to work during the weekend, doing laundry, chopping wood, and several other chores. When he started at the mines, he worked six days and on the seventh he always went back to the community house to help them out.

It's a tough habit to break, but we're getting there. We've been spending our Sundays together now, sometimes venturing into the woods by ourselves, to escape a bit from everyone else.

I let him sleep in as long as I can. Not much, because it 's Thursday. Today the train is due to arrive, with the week's provisions and also sixty three new residents. I can't delay it anymore so I gently nudge him with my nose and soft pecks on the corner of his mouth.

"Good morning…" I tell him once he opens one eye to look at me.

In a second he rolls on top of me, and it's impressive how he can do that without his sleeping bag getting in the way.

"Good morning…" he answers back as he gives me a slow and lingering kiss. "What time is it?"

I take a look at his watch, placed just behind our heads. Each crew chief carries one now, courtesy of Peeta Mellark, or should I say his Capitol sponsors.

"Six twenty."

"Ugh." He grunts burying his head into my neck. "Ten minutes is too short of a time to spend with you in the morning."

"I'm sorry for not waking you sooner, but I thought you could use some rest. You looked so peaceful in your sleep." I tell him.

"This is the only time I have you all to myself." He adds mumbling against my skin as he leans into the crook of my neck. I can't ignore the fluttering feeling that arises and I'm not sure if its because of his breath on my neck or him admiting he wants me. Probably both.

"I'll rest tomorrow once everyone is settled in." He adds with a sigh. If I don’t move, he’ll probably doze off again.

"What happens if you skip your meeting with Jack and Cyrus?" I ask him. He told me last night they have a quick meeting at 6:45 to plan out the day. This brings him to alertness and he lifts his head to look at me.

"They'll realize how stupid it is to have a twenty year old in charge of the construction crew and in the district council?"

He still thinks he shouldn't be the one in charge. He claims he has no idea what he's doing, but then I remind him no one really has more expertise than him. At this point, what we really need is for someone that others listen too. And Thom does it better than everyone else.

I run my hand through his hair again as I lift my head up to him. "You should make good use of your last few minutes then."

I don't need to tell him twice. He kisses me and it progresses faster than usual. His mouth is hot and demanding as I open his sleeping bag. I suppress a moan when he finally presses his body against mine and we freeze for a few seconds, his eyes searching my face for signs of discomfort. This is new. I move slightly, allowing him to settle better and this time it's him who gasps.

"Is this ok?" He asks as he tentatively rocks his hips against me.

"Yes…" Is all I manage to say.

He does it again as his lips clash against mine, his hand going beneath my shirt. I'm about to make a move to take it off when his six thirty alarm goes off.

"You should have woken me as soon as Saul got out." He says, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Don't go."

"I have to, Delly."

"I’m not wearing a bra."

Read the rest on AO3

[morning-jellyfish-in-a-teacup]

Ugh ... I'm so tired. Still have so much to unpack. My room is so fucking messy and full of trash, just looking at the mound of shit makes me not want to do anything. My first shift at the museum is saturday, 10am - 5pm so really want to get at least 3/4 of all my stuff put away. Started tracking my cals again, so going to work on getting back into that habit. Idk ... just really tired and worn out and stressed from moving and being back here.

In more positive news, I finally have plans to see one of my high school friends again! Haven't seen him since pre-pandemic lol, so it's been a while. I invited him to go see Nothing but Thieves with me and then he invited me to see Jpegmafia with him. So we finally have concrete plans to see each other! Really happy about that. It's just been so long.

Tomorrow, I'm going to work on laundry and try to go through the stuff in my room to eaither keep or throw out. I really don't know ... wish I had help. Tbh, just wish I was still living somewhere I felt safe. Just being back in this enviornment ... that's honestly taking the biggest toll on me.v

[fantasticcloudcreation]

June 29

Long rant about feelings

Damn ok tmro is the last day of June wtf

Having big anxiety rn bc I just watched a movie and like it was a good movie but something about it was unsettling and now I feel crazy 🙂

Before that it was a pretty good day - started brainstorming for a sculpture but idk if I'll have time to make it before I need to leave for Miami, also went on a boat ride to get dinner, had a caprese salad and waaaay more fries than I should've, still feeling it and I don't like it. Also a grapefruit crush which was good :) before that I had 4 pretzels with hummus and like a serving or two of potato chips. I think I'm at the point where I actually hate food and I'm kind of stressed how I'm going to function at work in a week but idk what to do about it.

Just feeling like a blah mood right now, probably from the movie or maybe the fries, idk. Tomorrow I'm gonna work on other projects that aren't crochet bc I think it's making me insane haha. Honestly feeling really bad about eating all those fries which is kinda sad bc normally fries are like my favorite food and they were really good but damn. Reminding myself: I'm still within the limit, one day won't matter in the long run, just drink water and eat better tomorrow, etc. Reminding myself that my shoulder bones are sticking out and even if my belly is a lil bloated tmro it won't affect my shoulders/collarbones :) wrists are looking skinny, legs are looking skinny, it's ok just relax.

I started all this up again like, I guess the last week of April, thinking it wasn't a "relapse" and that I'm not /never have been "disordered" ; but I feel like the vibe right now is not a relaxed healthy vibe lol. Honestly thinking about skipping the Miami gig just bc I don't want to have to start eating more. Feeling lonely and also avoiding everyone that ever tries to connect with me.

Also, there's a guy at work that I was hanging out with and he got way too serious about me way too fast and I've been kinda trying to keep my distance as much as possible without being an asshole but I think I'm actually being an asshole and I need to break up with him just so he actually gets the message, and I feel bad about doing that bc he really likes me but it's just giving me all kinds of vibes that I dont want right now, and like I only accepted the Miami gig bc he said he wasn't going but then I think he changed his mind bc I told him I was going, and I know he's gonna want to be roommates and act like a boyfriend, and like I've told him multiple times i dont want a boyfriend right now but I think I just need to be more clear about defining the relationship as just friends....... And idk if I should do that before we get there and room with someone else, idk who that would be which also gives me anxiety, or should I just go along with it for now and have a conversation in person when we get there........ Idk. Maybe that's the real reason I want to skip the gig, I don't want to deal with this but I've been avoiding it for so long and now I'm gonna have to answer to people at work who think we've been dating and ugh this is why I shouldn't date people at work, I need to trust my instincts on a guy from the beginning and not let it drag on when I'm not 100% into it, not get romantic with a person until I'm sure about it and I've known them for a solid chunk of time. Like he's such a sweetie and I don't want to break his heart but I just don't want that kind of relationship right now and I don't like that everyone at work thinks we're dating and calls me "his girl" and stuff. Kicking myself for handling this whole situation terribly the entire time, I should've been more clear at the beginning but I wasn't sure bc he is a nice guy and I have a tendency to push people away so I was like, maybe I'll give it a shot, but I feel like that wasn't the right move, I feel like I need to get better at setting boundaries while I'm still getting to know a person....

Relax, it's not that bad, things will unfold. Yes I've been an asshole to both him and D and I am learning lessons along the way and next time will be better :) it's one week in Miami and I will survive. I guess I'll call him when I leave here just so he's not blindsided when we get there. However it unfolds beyond that, only time will tell!

R is also going to be at the gig in August and then all the ones for the rest of the year which will be interesting so I'm going to stop overthinking it and just relax and live my life. People break up and I'm not responsible for someone else's happiness if it's negatively impacting my own. Right? Or am I just a selfish asshole? Maybe but I shouldn't have kept it going for so long if I wasn't feeling it, and it's better to be honest about it now.

Meanwhile; I'm a strong independent woman and I'm still learning how to navigate the dating world and every new person teaches me a different lesson. I'm traveling for work and I get to work a halftime show for a major national soccer tournament which is cool as fuck. I have time to finish up my projects here and spend time with my dad and then I'll go spend a couple days with my brother and clean the van etc, and then drive all the fucking way down the east coast *once again* lol and it's just another chapter in the story! Just another phase in the adventure! The next 2 chapters beyond that are going to be super fun and I'm so excited for them, let's start it off right with a positive attitude going into this one as well! I am smart and capable and funny and friendly and ready to see what unfolds. I don't have to let a man's feelings take precedence over my own. I am a free and independent woman. I am solo on my journey and I can do it and it will be fun and exciting and probably challenging. It will be hot in Miami and I can handle it. I am strong and capable. This first part will be the most challenging; I'll learn a lot of new things and challenge my body and my emotional strength; there's a week between the end of that and the next one, so I'll visit my mom and my friends in FL once again, and then I'll go camp in the mountains and get ready for a fun festival. And then another fun festival! And then a couple weeks off to spend more time with my family or whatever else happens along the way. I can relax and enjoy the ride. I can surrender to the journey. I can show up and do my best and smile through the struggles and make new friends. I can eat food to keep my body going!!! I can relax and it's going to be alright. Things will go better if I'm having fun with whatever shows up. I love my life even with all of its challenges; especially with all of its challenges. It's a new fresh chapter and I can do hard things. Maybe I'll cut my hair lol. After Miami I can go back to losing weight bc the following events will be easier on my body, and one week won't hurt my progress. Maybe I'll get over this phase and start eating better again. Who knows. I love my life and I'm grateful for these opportunities and I'm excited to see what unfolds.

Relax, breathe, go to sleep, have a good day tomorrow. Everything is working out. I love you ❤️

[universalzones]

Tangle was quick to reply 'Love you too. Stay safe, okay?' Ugh, she felt like she was losing her mind right now. The lemur knew Whisper could take care of herself, she'd already done it for so long. Though now she was even more worried about Mimic. Is this how the wolf felt all the time? No wonder she seemed so freaken stressed all the time. Maybe she should take Mimic still being out more seriously. She then entered her room, only it wasn't her room, it was Whispers. Well... hopefully she wouldn't mind her using her room tonight. She closed the door and locked it.

"Sounds like she's been through a lot, though who hasn't been these days. Between Eggman, the Zeti, and now Clean Sweep everyone's getting hurt. I guess the worse part is some get hurt more than others," Silas said, locking the office door before moving over to the wall, grabbing two strings, and pulls out two beds. "This town used to be a military base a long time ago. Think the gym used to be some sort of large bunker." Never really cared about the buildings past too much.

Silas then sat on one of the beds. "Though let's think of a plan tomorrow. I'm still trying to wrap my head that Sparks seems to have met this Clutch guy before." The mole doubt he'd let someone know who he was if they weren't working for him. "Don't even think of trying to do anything stupid until we get the full story." He may not know Whisper, though was she she might've put that together as well, or at the least was thinking about it. Not to mention judging from what she's said they weren't on good terms with Sparks. Last thing he needed was the wolf doing something drastic.

She was glad that Kit was reasonable, at least he didn't beg to run out and find surge. She wondered if he suspected though, he was smart and far from being easily duped. But the hard part was done, and keeping the others back home was ideal until she could talk to Surge. She just didn't know if she'd want Kit to see all this yet and she guessed not. She kept it secret up until now she doubted she was ready to help Kit face it--- She wasn't ready either was she?

Her eyes shift to the First Aid kit as she reached up taking it. She hesitated a moment with her coat. But let out a sigh as she undid her high collar and set her overcoat next to her. The wide scar across her throat visible among the discolored fur. Though quite the old scar, it was one she still felt uneasy about as it was the source of her disability. A wide slash of three marks trailed across her throat, as if a great beast ripped it out.

She opened that little kit and pulled out the burn ointment inside as well as a small pad to clean the area. She was lucky it didn't do more then leave a nasty burn on her shoulder where it struck her. Had she gotten a full blast she might be the one in that bed, or worse in a grave. She was shocked she could even move after that but adrenaline and discipline kept her going. Her hands moved rather expertly as if she'd done it a million tims--- she was use to caring for her own injuries.

She noticed Silas trying to get her Wisps back inside the room, he probably meant well. Though they were use to finding spots to hide themselves despite there glow. Still no point in rattling the old man it was his home after all. She gave a soft little whistle and each Wisp seemed to take note and flew back over to Whisper and danced around her once before finding a comfortable spot to lay. Blue in her lap as always, and Pink found a nice spot between her ears, as they all looked so happy. Though Violet continued to chat with the lightning wisp.

She just smiled at Silas, a rare thing for the Wolf as she watched the yellow wisp. Of course she was aware it was being quite protective though she didn't know why---sometimes wisps formed attachments to Mobians and would fight to the bitter end for them. She guessed that was the case here as well.

She gave a little nod to Silas but had nothing to add though was carefully listening to Violet and the lightning wisps conversation. Seemed they were just talking about home--- she did wonder if they got homesick... sometimes she figured they must.

She picked up her Phone and made a quick text to tangle it was short and sweet.

📱 Miss you, Love you, See you soon 📱

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling before turning to Silas and grabbing her Notepad and jotting down a quick note before turning the pad to silas.

✍️I have a friend at restoration, she can probably help us look into Clean Sweep. She was built to make toys for children but, she lost her creator, her father and so has been helping restoration. I Trust her... She helped me when i needed it most. I think she can help us here to... ✍️

[oumaheroes]

Christmas Drabbles (1)

Summary: Australia has once again forgotten to buy someone’s present and New Zealand is a little bit fed up.

Word Count: 856

Characters: Australia, New Zealand

------------

'Ah shit.'

'What?'

'I forgot Dad's present.'

Zee looked at Australia where he was making good work gently bashing his head against the headrest of his plane seat, 'You're fucked.'

'No, don't say that,' Australia took a brief pause from his soft self-adulation and looked at Zee pleadingly, 'Can I tag onto yours?'

'No.'

'Why?'

Zee didn't answer, merely turned back to their book and flipped to the next page.

Australia poked them hard in the side, 'Come on, don't be a tight arse. Why not?'

'Because you did this last year.'

'Did what?'

'This.'

'Did I?'

'Yes.'

Australia narrowed his eyes in suspicion, '... you sure?'

'Yes. You forgot uncle Rhys.'

'Well-'

'And the year before that, you forgot Matthew.'

'Look,' Australia held out his hands placatingly, 'there are a lot of people.'

Zee tutted and shook their head, 'The amount of people hasn't changed.'

'To my credit, Peter is new.'

'If sixty years is new, you mean.'

'Well yeah,' Australia fell silent a moment, large hands fiddling with the seat belt buckle across his lap. The plane began to move, nosing its way along the runway and a flight attendant passed by, checking that they were following the rules for take-off. Australia lifted his hands and shot them a cheeky grin before turning back to New Zealand and continuing his emotional barrage, 'Come on Zee, it's Dad.’

'So?'

'So! You know what he's like.'

'He probably won't mind these days. Or even really notice,' around Christmas especially England was notoriously difficult to pin down. Everyone would be arriving in London at different times to spend the holidays at his and he'd morph into a 'host', becoming increasingly more frantic and stressed about accommodating everyone properly than he ever was usually, 'Get him something when we land.'

'When we- he's picking us up!'

'So, sneak out of the house later.' Zee focused on the page, realising that they'd reread the same paragraph at least five times and hadn’t taken in anything, 'It's not like he's going to have an eye on you every second.'

'But it's Christmas eve tomorrow.'

Australia did sound truly pathetic and Zee felt a little bit of guilt trickle in. They shook their head to force it away- can't have that, 'You need to learn your lesson.’

Australia huffed and crossed his arms, 'You sound just like Dad when you say that.'

New Zealand refused to rise to the bait, 'I'm still not sharing.'

'Ugh.' A wonderful silence fell and Zee got through three whole pages before Australia spoke again, 'I could ask Matthew.'

Zee snapped their book shut, 'Absolutely not.'

Australia's eyes glinted wickedly, 'Why not?'

'No. No, don't be a dick; he'll do it because he's too nice and that's not fair.'

'You're not exactly giving me many options here, mate.'

'It will be fine.'

'You said I was fucked earlier!' Australia was started to gesture a bit too wildly with his hands, 'You know out of all of them Dad is the worst to forget.'

This was very true, 'That's not true. It's only bad still because he's the host but if you find him something it'll be fine. We're all adults now and he won’t take it personally.'

Australia gave Zee a look that very much conveyed how little he believed them. Zee didn't really believe themselves, to be honest. Their father had a very careful, particular way of letting any of his children know they'd mildly to significantly disappointed him and the mere thought of the receiving end was enough to make Zee's hands sweat. It was an entirely different look to when England was angry. England angry was something Zee could deal with- it was easy to spot and quick to blow over, despite its ferocity. England disappointed often tipped into the scathing or icy variety that could last a whole lot longer and made you want to peel your skin off from anxiety fuelled guilt, warranted or not.

This was kind of warranted.

The plane banked left, early morning sun flashing directly through the window from the sharp turn and painting them both a soft yellow. Zee tucked their book under their seat and shut their eyes to avoid the glare.

Australia gave their hand a squeeze and Zee automatically threaded their fingers together, armrest up to give them both more room to blend together naturally, ‘I’ll help you look.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. If you get him tat it’ll be even worse.’

A quick, dry kiss on their cheek, Australia’s soap a familiar smell, ‘Cheers.’

A sudden acceleration and they were in the sky, New Zealand’s land and people dropping away from them to leave them cut adrift in the unpeopled air. It was the only time Zee ever really felt close to what a human did, nothing but their own emotions and thoughts within them. A person of one, not a collective of many.

Safely in the air, seatbelt sign blinking off, Australia let go of Zee’s hand and cracked his elbows, ‘He likes ornaments, right? What about getting him a huge glass one to replace that Georgian centre piece that I bro-‘

‘Don’t.’

------------

AN:

Okay, so this is a drabble challenge to myself to keep things short and sweet for once, so the aim with these drabbles is to keep each under 1000 words (the aim was 500 a piece but I already failed that lol). I’m not sure how many there’ll be yet, but hopefully it’ll make a story by the end of it!

Part 2

[dimpledlianfang]

Yangyang Laoshi (yi city edition)

~~~

Xue yang: HELLO it's so nice to see you guys!!!!

Aqing: you always see us.

Songlan: do I even have to be here.

Xingchen: what will we be learning today.

Songlan: does it have to do with violence or harassment?

Xue yang: of course it does, Songlan.

Aqing: who told you that I want to be a gremlin like you! 

Xue yang: little Aqing, you don't have a choice

Xue yang: now enough questions. I have to go to gusu at 9pm to kidnap some Lans, for my next class tomorrow.

Then I have to write a letter to Dage saying that if he doesn't come, I'll do something to Lan xichen.

Songlan: that's no surprise.

Xue yang: I have to knock out Lan lips and drag him to my secret Manor.

His weight is Jingyi and Sizhui put together. *sighs*

Xingchen: who's lan Lips?

Aqing: is it the sect leader?

Xue yang: ew no. Not Lan qiren. Why would I be calling him Lan lips.

I'll call him Lan beard instead.

Xingchen: lol who else are in your second class?

Songlan: they're not a class. They're more like hostages.

Xue yang: don't make it sound like that!

Only Su She, Jiggy and Mo xuanyu willingly came. Su she and Jiggy are my besties and mo xuanyu cames only because I allow him to stare at Jiggy and read things on demonic cultivation.

Aqing: ahhhh, is it a simp club?

Xue yang: I think it's gradually turning into one.

But I won't let that happen! Even if I have to hide Jiggy's face.

But then mo xuanyu might leave.

Gosh.

Songlan: can we get this class over with already.

Xue yang: you guys haven't paid me yet.

How am I supposed to function without a payment!

Xingchen: stop whining. And here's the candy.

Xue yang: thank you Daozhang. Love you so much! Songlan, you should learn something from your friend. Now it's your turn to hand it up.

Songlan: I have no sweets for you.

Xue yang: then get out of my class.

Songlan: gladly! And I'll take xingchen with me.

Xue yang: sit back down. You're not going anywhere.

Aqing! Girl with the stick! Gimme candy!

Aqing: here. And stop harassing me!

Xue yang: songlan. Why are you so stoney! Why do you hate me? Am I cute?

Songlan: you know what you did!

Xue yang: I really can't remember.

You see I inhaled some kind of fume, and it caused a little memory loss.

Songlan: *rolls eyes* I'm so done with you.

Xue yang: I'm done with you too!

You're always grumpy! If you're like Daozhang xingchen, then I'll like you a little more.

Xue yang: now let's start.

We're going to learn how to Intimidate a vendor.

Aqing what will you do!

Aqing: start an argument with him.

Xue yang: only that?

Well you're still young, I guess.

Songlan, xingchen.

Xingchen: I choose peace.

Xue yang: aww. My cinnamon roll.

Songlan: I choose peace too.

Xue yang: you boring little dilf.

Aqing: but Songlan is very young.

Xue yang: he has WRINKLES!

Songlan: I got that from you.

Xue yang: but when you came into yi city, I saw you with them.

Songlan: ugh! Xingchen can I strange xue yang?!

Xingchen: no. There's no need.

Aqing: white gege why are you so calm?!

Xingchen: if I stress out too much, my qi will weaken. And my eye sockets will start bleeding.

Aqing: ahhh.

Xue yang: oh my. We don't want that to happen.

At least it will give me a reason to punch Songlan.

Songlan: you try!

Xue yang: so as we were saying about intimidating the vendors.

Xue yang: I would grab them and caresses their face with a knife, causing them to sweat. Then if that doesn't work I'll burn down their stall

Aqing: you're CRAZY!

Songlan: can you not burn down the stall.

Xue yang: why not? I like burning things.

Xingchen: maybe you can forgive them and just move on.

Xue yang: THAT WON'T BRING CANDY IN MY MOUTH, DAOZHANG!!! HAVE MERCY ON ME. YOU'RE BORING AT TIMES.

Anyways, at least you're very handsome and not like that Lan lips.

@verycatbluebird

[tacticaldiary]

Heyyy i saw requests are open, how about if the s/o is currently having a breakdown but they are silent about it, they cry quietly and they’re still able to properly talk without getting their sobs in the way maybe for Chuyaa or Akutagwa or anyone you want hehe. Do you think they would notice? i’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭 but anyways i hope you have a great day 💕

Silent Tears

Pairing: Reader x Chuuya Nakahara

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Call it a blessing or a curse, Chuuya hates it either way. He hates how she can suffer in silence so damn easily, to the point where it takes him a good few minutes to notice her tears

Masterlist

Hiya! Here you go!

She jolts in surprise as she hears the door open with a click. Sitting up straighter on the couch, she uses her sleeves to wipe away any traces of tears on her face and looks around frantically until she spots a book. Picking it up, she holds it in front of her, pretending to read, as footsteps come closer towards the living room.

"I'm home." Chuuya's voice reaches her, and she takes a deep breath, willing her voice to remain steady. She had to respond, or he would realise something was wrong. She really didn't want him to see her like this, to make him think she was weak and pathetic.

She wasn't one to get this upset or cry often, but the entire week had been shit. Filled with fails and stressful mission and paperwork, she hadn't had any time to catch a break, and finally, the dam holding everything back had finally burst.

"Welcome home. How was your day?" She manages to get up, weirdly proud when her voice doesn't waver.

"Ugh, you should have seen how terrible my subordinates executed the interrogation today." He complains, hanging up his coat and hat on the rack, and rolling up his sleeves. He moves over to the couch, stopping behind her to plant a kiss on her head, before moving around and sitting next to her, relaxing against the back with a groan.

Y/N stays silent and let's him talk, still buries into her book. She could feel her eyes start to burn again as his voice faded in and out, lost and mixed in between her own warped thoughts. Tears start sliding down her face again, silent and painful.

"-didn't pull the trigger! Why be in the unit if you can't fucking handle it..." his voice trails off as he pops open the first few buttons of his collared shirt, making it much more comfortable.

"What about you? You left early today. Everything alright?" He tilts his head towards her, watching her shrug. She wasn't looking at him, which was rather odd.

"I finished the paperwork early." Is all she says, and Chuuya nods in response, with sigh.

"Well, we've got tomorrow off." He smiles a little. "How about I take you-...Y/N?" He sits up straighter, cutting himself off as he sees a drop of water drip onto the book, staining the page. Water? That wasn't water...

Chuuya shuffles closer to her when she doesn't respond and sharply tugs the book out of her grasp, throwing it over his shoulder. Grabbing her chin, he tilts her face towards him, eyes widening and frown deepening when he sees how she's crying silently.

"O-Oi!...how long have you been crying?" He asks, quickly shifting to wrap his arms around her. She shakes her head, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. "Hey...tell me what's wrong."

He didn't notice? How hadn't he noticed? She'd been crying all this time and he...

She talks, finally, and he pushes his own thoughts away to listen. She tells him about her horrible week, how it had been too much, mumbling apologies when she's finished.

"It's alright. We all have days...or weeks, I suppose." He shrugs, pulling away to wipe away her tears with his hands. He cups her face with both hands and pulls her forward, planting another soft kiss onto her forehead.

She was okay. He'd make sure of it.

Request Are Open! Send ‘Em In!

(22/06/2021)

[bonvoyagenoona]

saw this tweet and it reminded me of amomk!Namjoon and his Sad Girl :(

Ugh, yessss, so sweet! 🥺 Sadgirl's family life may be a little different, but I love how Namjoon still meets that with joy. Another memory from before is coming to mind...

Sadgirl and College Namjoon are studying at Namjoon's dorm. Books, packets, highlighters, pens, and coffee cups abound. When they look at each other from across the table, their mouths are hidden by their open laptop screens.

Sadgirl: Wait, our anthro midterm got moved, right?

Namjoon: Yeah, up to the 21st.

Sadgirl: (sighs) (reaches down to scribble something in her notebook) Damn. I still had it down for the 28th. This is gonna throw my whole schedule off.

Namjoon notices Sadgirl getting extremely tense. Fidgety. Upset.

Namjoon: Well---

His laptop chimes with a message: Kim Fam video call.

Namjoon: (trying to ignore it) We could divvy up the sections and just---

Sadgirl: I really would much prefer to do a whole pass myself.

Namjoon: (laptop chiming) I'm just saying that---

Sadgirl: It's OK, Joon. I'll manage. I always do. (irritated) What's that sound??

Namjoon: (laptop still chiming) Sorry, it's my family calling, I just---

Sadgirl: (gathering her things) Oh, OK, I'll just get out of your hair so you can---

Namjoon: (laptop still chiming) No! No, please stay, the pizza is on its way--- This'll be quick--- Just let me---

He answers the call.

Namjoon: (to his screen) What do you idiots want no--- (embarrassed) Ah! Sorry! Hi Eomma, Appa! (awaiting reprimand) I didn't know it was the whole family!

Mrs. Kim, Mr. Kim, Taehyung, and Jin smile back at him from each of their four squares sitting horizontal on the screen.

Mrs. Kim: Aw, that's OK, Joonie. We didn't mean to disturb.

Namjoon: (noticing Mr. Kim's office in the background) Are you still at work, Appa?

Mr. Kim: (smirking) How exactly do you think it is that you and Tae-Tae are at college right now?

Mrs. Kim: Yeobo.

Mr. Kim: Only kidding. But not.

Namjoon: (to Jin) You too, hyung?

Jin: (nodding) Staying late to prep for tomorrow. Typical newbie stuff.

There's a knock at Namjoon's door. Namjoon looks up at Sadgirl, who is still hunched over and holding her things.

Namjoon: Wait, where are you going? The pizza's here!

Sadgirl: Oh, that's OK, I can just---

Namjoon: I'll get it!

Namjoon rushes up from his chair to

Mrs. Kim: Excuse me? Is someone there?

Taehyung: Are you a giiiiiiirl?

Sadgirl's eyes pop open at the sound of their collective, warm laughter. She isn't sure what to do. She doesn't want to be rude. But she definitely doesn't want to jump into whatever this is. Clearer heads prevail, though, and she tentatively walks over to Namjoon's laptop. She turns it a little and bends down into frame.

Sadgirl: Um, hi.

Mrs. Kim: (beaming brightly) Hiiiiiii!

Taehyung: Are you Namjoon-hyung's girlfriend?!

Jin: Are you two using that gigantic box of condoms our Eomma gave him?

Mr. Kim: (as Jin and Taehyung cackle) Boys!!

Sadgirl: (panicking) Uhhhh, well---

Mrs. Kim: Sorry for the interruption. Seems like maybe you were studying?

Sadgirl: Yes, uh, Namjoon and I have a lot of classes together, and midterms are coming up?

Mrs. Kim: Hopefully we didn't add to the stress. We're all just spread out a bit nowadays, and we wanted to call really quick, given that it's Sunday evening.

Sadgirl: Sunday evening?

Namjoon returns to the table, having already prepared four slices of pizza, two on each paper plate.

Namjoon: (grinning) Family dinner.

Mr. Kim holds up a Tupperware container of rice and meat that Mrs. Kim packed for him. Mrs. Kim holds up her own portion, but in a bowl. Taehyung holds up sandwiches from the cafeteria. Jin is biting at the plastic container still keeping his noodles sealed.

Namjoon hands a plate to Sadgirl.

She grins. No longer tense.

He pulls the closest chair to her out, watching to make sure that she takes her seat, before he sits back down in his own chair and pushes the laptop further so that they're both in frame.

Mrs. Kim: (as everyone begins eating) Now, tell us about school. How's everything going?

[aching-tummies]

(Not exactly sure if I'm really doing this right but here we go.) If I was your partner... I'd take you someplace nice and encourage you to eat whatever you want. After a large meal I'd be the one to drive home, as your complaining of an upset stomach. Wanting a reaction, I'd take you down the secluded, bumpy road to see what happens.

A/N: Thanks for the lovely ask! I kind of deviated a little, incorporating some of what's been going on in my life lately (new job, stresses causing me to skip meals, the craving for pasta, etc.) The beginnings of this do delve into spiraling about weight(loss) and body image stuff a little...so if that's a trigger for people then this is your warning.

It’s been more than two years since we indulged in dine-in service at a place with non-disposable cutlery. I’ve been craving pasta for even longer than that. Creamy, garlic-y, non-reheated pasta served on a plate and twirled around a metal fork.

We haven’t taken any opportunities to celebrate for the last two years. Birthdays, holidays, promotions at work or major advancements in our career adventures—we’ve barely done anything more than acknowledge them as we both go to pick up extra shifts wherever it is that we have been working. Honestly, we’ve seen so little of each other that it wouldn’t surprise either of us if the other snuck in a job-change in the last two years. That all changes tonight.

A nearby pasta place is offering dine-in service. We booked a reservation for tonight—all you have to do is pick me up from work and we can head on over.

I’m the one that managed to sneak in a job-change in the craziness. Fast-food to office intern. I’m barely handling things. I’ve been beyond exhausted because the change happened suddenly. The office place demanded that I start with them on a whim (despite my only condition on hiring being the time to give my fast-food job the proper two week notice). Due to their abrupt “start now or we will move ahead with other candidates” ultimatum, I’ve been pulling 44+ hour weeks juggling two jobs located on opposite ends of the city.

Tonight is a celebration. Dine-in service by itself is already something to celebrate in my books, but you’re insisting that tonight is for me because I finally finished my dues to the fast-food place. The hellish four weeks of juggling is over. No more calls at midnight from me begging you to pick me up from some random quadrant of the city because I nodded off on the last bus home. No more days where I make it home from my office job only to get an urgent call from the fast-food place begging/demanding that I show up because someone cut work. No more packed weeks with no days off or time to even pack myself lunch. Hopefully no more nights where you have to peel me off of the floor because making it home was all I managed before passing out from exhaustion.

I’ve got an hour before you’re set to come pick me up from my office job. I can’t help but smile as I count down the minutes while working on editing some funding proposal that was shoved at me a couple of minutes ago.

My stomach grumbles at me and I clam up. I blush as I look around to ensure nobody heard it. The office is basically empty. All the other staff seem to have gone off to lunch. That’s something I’m going to have to get used to: the fact that there doesn’t seem to be a set schedule here…people head out to lunch whenever. As a petrified newbie, I haven’t had the guts to just take off whenever. The number of shifts where I’ve stayed here for a full eight hours and then navigated an hour and a half of transit transfers only to come home ravenous is pretty high.

Welp, if a stomach growls and nobody is here to hear it then I guess it doesn’t make a sound. I’ve got an hour left before you come to pick me up and we’re basically just two hours away from satisfying my years long pasta craving. Going out to hunt for food now would only spoil my appetite.

“I AM HERE!”

I giggle at the reference and accompanying gif you’ve sent to announce your arrival. I pack up my area and get up, saying ‘bye’ to Jerry on my way out. The second I walk out that door will mark the start of my days off for the week, something I haven’t had in over a month.

“Hi, sweetie!” I chirp as I open the passenger door and bend over to set down my bag.

As I settle in, folding myself into the car, the movements dislodge a deep rumble from my tummy. I freeze, arm still reaching out to close the door. You snicker at me with your left arm perched on your open window, fingers close to your face and highlighting that charming grin of yours that I love so much.

“Oi, close the door and we can get going.”

I do just that. With the door closed, you carefully back out of the parking space and off we go. We don’t get very far. Ah, the joys of rush hour. No use honking, Karen, you’re not ‘stuck in traffic’—you are traffic and there’s no manager for you to speak to here, moron!

I adjust my seat a little, leaning back and allowing myself to relax. I’ve done it. Tomorrow is a day off. And so is the next day. My first true weekend in over three years and my first days off in over three weeks. I can feel the tension ebbing out of me. My shoulders untense, leaving behind a distinct soreness.

My shoulders aren’t the only thing to stop tensing. Apparently, my abdominals decided to join in as well.

Grrr…RRRR…blr.br…rrr.

I blush and sit up, arms wrapping around my stomach as it continues to snarl at me. The growls come with the sharp pains of hunger pangs and I wince, hugging my tummy and pressing my arms against the pain. The grumbles are quickly drowned out by your laughter.

“Man, no wonder you say your coworkers don’t talk to you here. If I heard that coming from a newbie I’d be scared of ‘em too.”

“S-Shut up!” I don’t want to admit that my tummy has been growling very loudly at the office. I’ve skipped more lunches than I’ve eaten in my time here. I lean back in the seat again, arms crossed over my chest as I look away from you, pouting. I’m hungry enough that my stomach really hurts, I’m a panicking newbie at work that doesn’t know the ropes or what’s expected of them, and here you are teasing me.

Your right hand reaches over but instead of stopping on the shift stick it continues further until your palm finds my stomach. The gentle pressure and the warmth of your palm nudging right over where my stomach joins my intestines aids in the relaxation of my tensed muscles and brings forth another loud grumble from my guts. You move your hand slightly, patting and rubbing my flat tummy absentmindedly as you keep the rest of you focused on traffic.

“You’ve lost weight.”

“Y-Yeah…” I don’t want to admit that I’m happy about it. My waistband was loose enough to fall to my thighs before I put my belt on this morning. I love it but you and I both know weight and eating are sore subjects for me. I bite my tongue to keep from asking whether or not you think the weight loss is a good thing or not. Your tone was flat—it was an observation. The fact that I’ve been too busy and stressed out to have time to eat (or digest properly when I do) has led to the rapid shedding of pounds. Not just in the last three or four weeks, but for a long time yet. The reasons for the weight loss aren’t good…but I really do like the results, so I don’t want to hear it from you…good or bad…I don’t want to hear it. Thankfully, you don’t push the issue. Traffic picks up and you remove your hand from my stomach and put it back on the wheel.

My stomach continues to gripe and snarl as we make our way through the city at a crawl. I no longer have work to distract me and your impromptu massage has definitely woken the beast in my guts. ‘Starving’ doesn’t even begin to cover how my stomach feels. I’m starting to feel the other effects of the lack of food too. Light-headedness, feeling cold, and a limpness in my limbs. I want to press my arms into my stomach to quell some of the ache and the noises but I just can’t seem to summon the strength to put enough pressure on it. I wish you had kept your hand on my tummy. As much as your touch intensified the hunger, the pressure of your hand on my stomach was kind of comforting. Ugh…this is all wrong. We’ve been together long enough to know that both of us are into tummy stuff. Any other opportunity we’d be all over each other right now. Your mention of the weight I’ve lost and the silence that has followed since is filling me with anxiety. Under normal circumstances you’d have parked the car somewhere to tease my hungry tummy into oblivion. The fact that we’re currently driving in silence when there’s a golden kink opportunity in the palm of our hands is worrisome to me. Suddenly I don’t feel so good about the weight I’ve lost. I like it. It made me look totally bomb in my new office clothes. Buttons don’t strain even when I bend over or stretch. I spend the rest of the car ride lost in my anxieties. I’m not at an unhealthy weight. Sure, losing it is a testament of the stress I’ve been under lately…but it’s not like I’ve been intentionally skipping meals or fixating on some unachievable body image or something. This isn’t about the weight or anything, it was just a happy consequence of the hectic times I’ve gone through.

We arrive at the restaurant and you get out, expecting me to follow. I’ve managed to work myself into a ball of anxiety in the passenger seat and I don’t move. You pause on the sidewalk when you see me still strapped inside the car. You walk over and open the passenger door.

“Babe?” You see me petrified and chewing on my lip—a tell-tale sign I’m fighting some internal battle. “What’s wrong?” You cup my cheek with your hand, thumb going to pull my lower lip away from my teeth.

“Huh? Wha?” My gaze sharpens as I’m brought back to reality. I didn’t even realize we’ve arrived.

“What’re you thinking about?”

“Uhm…w-well…y-you said…n-nevermind.” I unbuckle the seatbelt and step out of the car. You frown as you think back on what I meant about you having said something.

“Oh, about the weight loss?” I freeze. Bingo. “Babe—I didn’t mean anything by it, honest. Just an observation.” You scratch at the back of your head. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately and gosh knows neither of us has had time to cook or pack lunches. I was just thinking that maybe we should work on that together. Going hungry so often sounds like a dream, kink-wise…but neither of us has had time for that lately. I was going to suggest creating a mealplan or something together, maybe bringing out the slow cooker and freezing some stuff so that we can just grab and go for work going forward.” I stumble over and rest my head on your shoulder, giving a slight nod.

I’m overwhelmed. One thing you said sent me spiraling and you just pulled me out of it.

“Ugh…don’t do that again.”

You smirk. “I won’t. Rather than think yourself into a hole over that, you should really think about what it is you want to eat. We’re ordering off the full menu tonight.”

My eyes widen. The full menu has more selection but it’s way more expensive. Every time we’ve come here in the past, we have always ordered off the specials menu—the discounted, half-size portions that they offer. You smile seeing my stunned reaction.

“Birthdays, holidays—and Sweets, you got a job! You got a job where you don’t have to deal with the dreaded ‘customer’. I’m proud of you, Sweets. This…this is supposed to be a celebration…right? For all the celebrating we haven’t been able to do in…damn, how long has it been—” Your rambling is cut off when I seal your lips with mine. I step back with a grin, watching the dumbfounded, wide-eyed expression pass over to you ‘cuz I’m usually the no-kissy-touchy type.

“Chicken parm with garlic, angel-hair pasta in cream sauce.” I know exactly what I want to order. I’ve known it for over two years. That dish has been taunting me in my dreams for over two years. When I chew on my pillow in my sleep ‘cuz I skipped dinner in lieu of sleep I’m dreaming about that dish. The last time I had it from here was with my parents—long before I met you—for a birthday when I was still in grade school. My stomach growls, punctuating my declaration. The sound shocks you out of your reverie and you slide an arm around my waist, resting your palm against my stomach as you feel all the empty rumbles reverberating beneath your palm.

“Alright. Guess we better walk in before they give away our table…or before you decide it’s quicker just to eat me here in the parking lot.”

Ugh…how am I already full? There’s still so much food on the plate. So, so much. Urrgh…

My stomach silently gripes at me. A sickly, sticky feeling is blooming in my guts. I’m sated but there is still far too much food on my plate. The full menu is more expensive, but they fill the plate up more and often use bigger plates. I’ve forgotten just how big, and my tummy is suffering. Two years is a long time to go without something and I’ve gone without fulfilling my craving for pasta in cream sauce for over two years, maybe even three. That’s a long time…long enough for my stomach to forget how to handle cream sauce, apparently.

I’ve only swallowed about a fifth of my plate and my stomach already feels heavy. The warm bread to start and the bites of chicken parmesan cutlet went down alright. They lined my stomach comfortably and my digestive tract knew exactly how to handle them. The first couple of bites of pasta were cushioned by the bread and chicken. When that lining dissolved away and more of the pasta came into contact with my gastric juices, I realized there was a problem.

My stomach pounced on the bites of bread and the water and cola I chased it down with. I could practically feel my duodenum yawning wide to suck in the masticated bread, my intestines just as hungry for it as I have been all day. When it had to contend with the cream sauce things started to slow down. I can feel a backlog of stuff sitting in my stomach, refusing to be broken down further into a form that will comfortably move onto my intestines. I’m chewing a lot more, my mouth creating more saliva. I feel sick. My stomach doesn’t hurt, yet, but it’s definitely going to as it fights with the creamy, oily pasta.

“Ooh…they’ve got tiramisu here.” You’re eyeing the dessert menu. “It’s your favorite, right?”

“Yeah…but it’s expensive and this is a lotta food.”

“We’re supposed to be celebrating, Sweets. We’ll take whatever you don’t finish to-go. Leftovers are a Godsend, remember? C’mon, let’s live a little.”

I feel a weight settle in my stomach as you flag down a passing wait-staff and order a tiramisu. To share, thank God. My stomach churns in vain, serving only to churn up the mess of creamy pasta and chicken without moving it along further in the digestive process. The sphincter to my duodenum is squeezed tight, refusing passage to the foreign cream and oil mix that it doesn’t seem to recognize.

I managed to finish just under half of my plate before the dessert arrived. I decided to throw in the towel and asked for the rest to be packed up to-go. I put on a smile as we share the dessert and hope it’s not as shaky as my guts feel. The dessert is delicious. Rich, flavorful, and perfect. If only I didn’t have to feel it sickeningly sliding down my esophagus, plopping down heavily into a stomach crammed much too full with indigestible pasta. As my stomach clenches and churns things around the creamy tiramisu is going to get incorporated with the rest of the mess. It’s going to make it thicker and creamier…as if it wasn’t already too thick and too creamy for my duodenum to open up and allow it to wreak havoc in my intestines. As sick as my overstuffed stomach feels, I am a little grateful that my duodenum is being a stubborn prick.

If the creamy mess had passed into my intestines, I’d be doubled over in the bathroom right now, rubbing futilely at my revolting intestines. I know what dairy does to my guts. It doesn’t usually happen, just when I’m stressed or it’s close to that time of the month. It’s nasty and it hurts bad enough that I honestly think hell is enduring those cramping intestines for eternity.

We finish the tiramisu. You offer me the lion’s share, but I refuse and push it back to you with a mention on my stomach being really full. I bring my hands to my stomach and I catch the way your eyes smolder at the sight. Good. Yes. Get us home quickly, darling.

You pay for the meal, and we are off. I clutch my tummy behind my bag as we walk out to the car. Every step sends aftershocks into my guts and it’s really upsetting things in my stomach.

As I settle in the passenger seat, I notice the buttons on my blouse are a little bit strained around my stomach. Horror sets in and I quickly fumble to get the buttons undone. I don’t want to ruin my shirt and the sight of the straining buttons triggers something nasty in my mind. I calm down a little once the buttons are undone and I rub my tummy under the cover of my bag, palms running up and down the dark undershirt that is draped snugly over my full belly.

“It’s still early. Want to really paint the town red and see if we can catch a movie somewhere?”

I swallow back a sickly belch to answer your question, my questing hands churning up the mess in my guts and dislodging air pockets.

“Umph…n-no…let’s go home.”

“Sweets, you okay?” Your voice is laced with concern. Surely you can hear the sickly squelching from my guts. Do I have to spell it out for you?

“Hmm? No,” I blush as I fidget and grapple with whether or not to come clean. I’m shy about this kind of stuff—you’re my partner though and have been for a long time—we’re both into tummy stuff—we haven’t done anything on this front in a very long time. Making my decision, I move my back over to the floor, resting it against my shins and I lean back, allowing you full view of my distended tummy with my blouse undone. “I just…uhm…m-my tummy’s kinda…upset…I just really want to get home.” My stomach burbles sickly throughout our conversation. I have both my hands on the rounded curve of it, rubbing at tender spots with my thumbs.

Your eyes widen at the sight of my belly rounding out my undershirt. You start the car and pull out of our stall. Instead of righting the car onto the road you keep backing into a more secluded spot on the far end of the lot. This one is obscured by an overgrown bush or tree on the passenger side.

I haven’t even bothered with getting my seatbelt on. I was too caught up in my indigestion to think of it despite it normally being a habit. To be fair, I don’t think the seatbelt is a good idea with my tummy so bloated and sore.

“What are you—”

You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn in your seat, giving me your full attention. My seat is still reclined a little further than normal from the drive over. Gently, you put a hand on my shoulder, indicating for me not to sit up. Your eyes briefly meet mine and convey your plan before they go back to fixating on my belly.

I relax my arms, letting them rest at my sides as you slide a hand over the crest of my bloated gut. I bite back a groan as the slight pressure of your hand increases the pressure in my intestines. My stomach is packed full with an indigestible mass of creamy pasta. My duodenum is not allowing any of that entry into my intestines so they sit, bloated with air. The ingredients for a very upset tummy are inside of me…they just need a bit of a push to act as a catalyst.

The push comes in the form of a literal push as you place both hands, one on each side of my tummy, and squeeze. I bite back a mewl of pain until the pressure relents and you are sliding your hands all over my taut tummy.

“Oh my…you really are full.”

“Ugh…haven’t…haven’t eaten so much in a long time.” I groan as your hands churn up the mess in my guts. You know what you’re doing. You felt the firmness in my upper left and you know that everything is sitting heavy in my stomach. You focus your massage on my left, on the area where my duodenum is. You rub and nudge and coax at the area, intent on getting the sphincters to unclench and allow my meal to continue to digest.

“Oh…ah!” I can’t help but cry out a little as I feel my duodenum flood with the lumpy mess. A rumbling, wet burble indicates when the sphincter finally gives up and allows the mess in my stomach passage. My stomach acid wasn’t enough to break down the creamy, oily pasta so it’s entering my intestines relatively undigested.

After ten minutes of you massaging my belly, (in)digestion is in full swing. My intestines are filling up with the ache-inducing mass and the straining pressure that started in my stomach has now spread all over my abdomen. You reach over and pull down my seat belt, buckling it before reaching over to get my seat back into an upright position. My stomach cramps sharply with the change in orientation and my mewl of pain is cut off by a harsh belch. You pat my tummy almost teasingly as you right yourself in your seat and start the car.

I don’t bother to keep track of where we are heading. You could be taking me to the movies, intent on letting my indigestion stew for a couple of hours, or you could be driving us home. I don’t care. I can’t care because every ounce of me is focused on the sharp pains exploding all over my guts as the car hits every bump in the road. Damned city not bothering to spend money to fix the thousands of pot-holes in our roads. My stomach is just as vocal as I am about the indigestion.

You brake sharply, causing the seatbelt to dig into my tummy and tear a sharp gasp of pain from me. I see the road ahead of us…it’s not a road at all but literally the worst road in our city. This stretch of road is famous even outside of our city for just how bumpy and nasty it is. People scrape the undercarriage of their cars if they aren’t careful in avoiding the potholes that litter this thing like craters on the moon. People have lost pieces of their cars and done massive damage to their vehicles by driving down this road. People around here know to avoid this road. The alternative is a ten minute detour to take the safer, newer road and everyone agrees that ten minutes more is better than damaging their car on this road so it is always empty.

“Darling, no—”

You floor it, going down the secluded road at a high speed. We hit every bump and hole in the thing (that won’t damage the car)…you used to come down this thing often and you’re a master at navigating it to avoid damage to the vehicle. Damage to my tummy, on the other hand.

My stomach gives off aborted grumbles and gripes, each one interrupted as we hit another bump in the road. My tummy sloshes and churns. Digestion had stalled without your hands pushing everything along, but this new form of “massage” in the form of a very bumpy ride is kick starting things all over again…in the wrong direction. Stuff swirls inside of my stomach and I swear that it’s filling up rather than emptying. The pressure is building in my stomach. I’d like to believe it’s the air from my intestines, but I’m sure we managed to get most of that out with your massage in the parking lot.

"Ugh…ouch…ah—ow! Ungh…my tummy…urp…my tummy…ulp…” I can’t help it. Belches and protests roll through my throat, unchecked. It’s better than the alternative of something solid, I guess. The road has increased the upset tenfold as I clutch my stomach in both hands. The road has dialed the cramping pains up to eleven and many more aches and tender spots have erupted thanks to the bumpy ride. We’re about halfway through the road when I feel something solid tickling at my esophagus.

“Ugh—Babe—STOP!” I reach up and slap a hand over my mouth, fearing that we’re about to see my dinner come back out.

You slam on the brakes and the pressure from the seatbelt is what does it. My mouth fills with the sour mess of barely-digested pasta.

“Ugh…urk…” I swallow back the bile. It’s nasty, but there’s no receptacle and I don’t want to stink up the car. Luckily, this wasn’t a true vomiting session triggered internally—it was basically regurgitation brought on by external factors—like the seatbelt putting too much pressure on my over-packed tummy. My stomach snarls violently at the return of the sickly concoction.

You watch my struggle, fascinated. Reaching over, you put a hand on my palm, a hand that is quickly slapped away as I give you the fiercest glare I can muster.

“None of that until you get me home, darling.”

You grin, exaggerating taking your foot off of the brake pedal. I realize my poor phrasing a moment too late.

“As you command, Sweets.”

“Darling, no—”