#i'm still not sure abt this style if this worked well i will create a lot of comics (esp fgo ones lol i have so many ideas)
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It's Showtime! - October 2024 Devlog
Howdy Cobalt here! This is really late I know, that's my bad. Again. I want to say right away this dev log isn't particularly exciting. Mostly because almost everything I did this month was in preparation for future things to be added so while I may not have a lot to show… Hopefully everything I did this month will mean soon I will!
Got Cutscenes mostly working! There is a placeholder cutscene that's an intro and another that activates upon opening a door! You can skip cutscenes by holding E for a bit but I have not yet implemented the code that keeps track of which cutscenes you've seen before to activate it. [I want there to be a system that keeps track of if you have ever seen a given cutscene. Since this game is story-heavy I wouldn't want people accidentally skipping cutscenes that may have been vital. This system will hopefully be able to keep track of this even through save files. So if you decide to replay the game after fully beating it all the cutscenes will be able to be skipped since you already know what's happening and such. Also for speedrunners]
Okay I know there's not a lot here but the cutscene system took. A while and that was cause I wanted it to be as optimized as possible [we'll be having quite a few cutscenes after all~] And that always makes coding take a lot longer. If I coded it in a super messy complicated way it probably would've been done in a way but I wanted the code to be mostly clean and most of all not tank the performance. So it took a lot longer than I thought it would.
Been doing some loose writing here and there. Honestly haven't done any major writing this month, I wanted a break from it. I have since taken that break however and I'm sure I'll come back swinging!
Haven't done much art myself, been doing some tweaks to the props I showed off in the last dev log but nothing more than that. However I have been working relentlessly on Henry's first model [I say first cause I'm sure with time, I will want to update and change it] and I can say confidently it is fairly close to completion.
In terms of 2D art, I've done a few textures and Roddy has been working hard on character designs! We got one of the major characters in their cycle form done and that'll help a lot for establishing the style for the others ones as well. We don't have much that wouldn't be considered spoilers though so for now, you'll just have to trust us.
HUGE progress has been made on figuring out rigging. I have a rig that works really swell, [one that was created by that very person I talked abt helping me in last month's devlog] now I just have to learn how to modify it for my own purposes which shouldn't be too hard since I now know all the little mechanics that make it work. With that I can hopefully start on making a good generic rig for humans and toons alike to act as a base for all of them but still be able to customize for any deviations they have in design. This took. Days. But I think it'll be worth it when you guys get to see these characters start to come to life in their first few animations and such. I think next month, I'll have at least something swell to show off! Thanks for your patience as always!
#it's showtime#not ask#Devlog#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#batim#batdr#Bendy Encore#Bendy fangame#queer horror#indie horror game#indie horror#mascot horror#mod whirly
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wip questionnaire tag game yay
thanks @ap0stle for tagging me in this!! :D
The WIP im gonna talk about is uh. well it doesnt really have a name i just call it "that game i want to finish eventually" or "the survival horror game idea" lol, I'm bad with names so itll prob remain that way for a while
What's the First Part of Your WIP that You Created?
I can't recall exactly when this was, but I remember I was specifically listening to this video which, judging by its age, would've been around 2 years ago now. Something about the black and red blair witch game art used as the cover (which, i... totally legally... played that game out of curiosity later on, wasnt big on it as a blair witch fan or a horror fan in general, but you will see one little element from it as one of a few inspiration points for whats kind of becoming a major mechanic in my game at this point lol) mixed with the music itself gave me this mental image of someone driving on a road through the woods with that very black and red lighting, and i had this feeling that they were looking for someone. That's technically the very vague basis that sprouted into my game idea, which has changed a lot since then, and now I don't think a scene like that will even happen. Aside from that, my first concept that's actually stuck around, is the protag looking for their sibling (usually my brain leans sister so i may go that route, but i tend to imagine characters w/out gender in mind til later lol) and sorta ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time as a result. I have some more stuff in mind of course, but a lot of stuff is still pretty vague lol
If Your Story Was a TV Show, What Would the Theme Song/Intro Be?
Oh man this is such a fun thing to think about conceptually, I feel like the WIP is almost too much of a WIP to be sure... But it'd probably have to feel very 2000s, maybe have some kind of industrial edge? Something to capture the idea of an ordinary person descending into something they couldn't possibly be prepared for i guess loll Those things aren't necessary, but the setting is mainly going to be in this as yet unnamed city during the mid-late 2000s? I haven't settled on the exact year yet so that may not be fully accurate lol. The game probably will get some kind of intro style thing, because I absolutely LOVE that in the silent hill games (and also twilight princess had something like that!! which is very nostaglic for me lol) so I think it would be awesome to do in mine lol I feel like the closest I've heard to the vibe I imagine are like. 1. Into to The Mine from Lost in Vivo 2. Broken ALSO from Lost in Vivo (i swear something abt the music in this game just has the vibes) 3. Theme Of... by Drackfreeee I guess it makes sense because it's a silent hill inspired song that you can even hear bits from the game's intros in there but. man. it's got a dreamlike quality that fits the more surreal elements i have in mind well, plus i can totally imagine it playing in an intro thing showing a bunch of scenes from the game and setting that scene of descent When i get to that point in making the game, ill probably look back at songs like these for ideas on what'll work
What Are Your Favourite Characters You Made, and Why?
Since this thing is still so much a WIP, I don't have a tonnn figured out about the characters, so it's kinda hard to pick. But I can talk a little about what I DO have figured out! As I said previously, the protag is gonna be looking for their sibling. The basic idea being that they're visiting their sibling in this new city they've never been to before, and things go all wacky sideways real fast. I feel like I'm either gonna love 'em or hate 'em because due to the unintentionally personal nature of this story that I've been embracing more as time went on, they're probably gonna be the most like me out of the cast. I'm hoping to make them an enjoyable protagonist to play as tho, not annoying but not TOO bland or anything. The sibling is probably gonna end up reflecting a lot of my sister, cause, as i said, accidentally personal story that I'm kinda just embracing at this point lol. I wanna not make any of the characters 100% like a single person I know, so I'll probably mix in traits from other people I like lmaooo. but we'll see what they're like by the end. One thing i already DO know is I really wanna circumvent the idea of the person you're trying to find/save being this "damsel in distress" type, so I think it'd be great if when you finally reunite, they're dealing with the whole situation way better than you LMAO. or at least on par. The hardest part about that tho... Is I'll probably have to make a half-decently competent partner NPC for that part of the game... I've also had this idea for a guy based on a dream I had. I think they will be playing a part but I'm not sure yet, as stuff is still very vague at this point. The idea is of someone who is "helping" you for part of the game, only to fuck you over later on because, what can I say, I love the heartbreak of getting totally screwed over by a character you trusted sometimes :3 The idea being you'd make remote contact early on and they'd promise to help lead you to your sibling but in reality either A) they've just been trying to lead you to your death subtly lmaooo or B) more likely option, theyre tricking you into helping them instead, and then will leave you for dead once you actually help them. I feel like it'd be fun to write a guy who is a total opportunist and probably a smug asshole, idk lol There will probably be other characters? but these are the only ones I have in mind so far, and as you can tell, they arent very fleshed out at all yet
What Other Pieces of Media do You Think Your Fanbase Would Share?
Jeez, the idea of garnering any kind of fanbase in and of itself is kind of cool but scary lol I figure they'd probably like a lot of the stuff that's inspiring me in the first place, like Silent Hill (duh), Cry of Fear, Jacob's Ladder, a bit o' Twin Peaks... Basically if you like some guy going through some weird fuckin' psychological shit lmaoo More specifically, i want the vibes of stuff like. standing in a subway station at a weird hour, feeling like the only person left on the planet. Opening a door into a room that shouldn't logically connect. Cryptic phone calls and texts that don't seem like a person would make them. Desperately trying to reach someone, to find the answers, but it seems like the place itself is fighting against you. Stuff like that, I guess
What Has Been Your Biggest Struggle With Your WIP?
Man, what hasn't? I don't have much experience making games so I'm learning a lot mechanically as I go, but I also have never properly finished an entire original story before. I think the main thing, is like... I'm scared whatever I create will feel too derivative of the works that inspired me, that the thing I create will ultimately fade into the shadow of other things that did it better. So every time I have a new idea, I worry about if it'll come off too much like [x thing] and that's been making the process even slower loll Aside from that, I know the character's primary goal, and I have certain locations I think would be cool to include, but I don't know SHIT about any of the details of getting from the start to the end and what will fall in-between, which does make it tricky lol. I need to really consider what kind of path I want them to follow, and what will happen after they reach their goal, stuff like that. It's all just very vague right now and trying to work out the details is almost intimidating even tho thats the main part of making a story.
Are There any Animals in Your Story? Talk About Them!
At the moment? Not that I'm aware of. There may likely be enemies with animal-like appearances, though. I could see that being a thing I do. But I haven't really gotten into monster design just yet.
How do Your Characters Travel/Get Around?
At the moment I'm suspecting primarily on foot, however my concept for the intro of the game involves the protag taking the subway. So there may be some subway shenanigans too, idk.
What Part of Your WIP Are You Working on Right Now?
I'd say the main reason the story is still so vague, is I've been trying to get the main technical/mechanical elements set up before I get too much into the details. Or maybe I'm just stalling. So, I'd say I'm mainly working on stuff surrounding the non-story parts of the game. But in terms of the story, I want to flesh out the protag and the sibling more into proper characters first and foremost, I'd say.
What Aspects (Tropes, Maybe?) do You Think Will Draw Your Audience in?
I'll be real I got no idea but... I guess if I think about it from the perspective of what I think would draw me in from an outside view...
Use of classic survival horror stuff like fixed camera angles (plus I'm going to have both tank and analog controls so more people can enjoy it :])
Putting a guy in A Situation
The general atmosphere and setting (as I sorta said, mid-late 2000s urban enviro with weird illogical stuff happening and potentially kind of dream-like elements, i hesitate to say liminal but maybe a bit liminal? I also want to go for a ps2-ish graphics quality cause i feel like its criminally underrated lol and some people may feel like me on that part and like that)
Vaguely queer protag? like i said i dont have much fleshed out but if they're gonna be based on me at all u KNOW that bitch aint gonna feel cis or straight i'm sorry it's simply fact (also admittedly I've been wanting to make them like some kinda genderqueer or somethin because its my video game and i can do what i want, and seeing human protags that are nonbinary in some way gives me life)
Weird-ass shit??? like if you vibe with weird silent hill dialogue or the weird stuff that just. happens in twin peaks, im hoping to bring a similar energy in my own way
Possibly more stuff as I flesh things out more lol
What Are Your Hopes For Your WIP?
Honestly I just hope I make something that I feel proud of. I wanna make something that makes someone feel the same way that stuff like Silent Hill, Cry of Fear, Lost in Vivo, Twilight Princess, hell, UNDERTALE did, where that shit changes you. Where you can feel the love for the genre or medium it's based upon. But at the very least, I just hope at least one person likes it, I guess That'd be enough for me
Uhhh erm I have no idea who to tag I am so bad at this part.... If you want to do this consider yourself tagged :]
#tag game#that survival horror game#(using that as a tag until I come up w something better lmaoo)#rambles
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the matchmatic 3000 | jake sim
✰ summary: simp, i mean, sim jaeyun is a hopeless romantic. a cursed hopeless romantic, he would say, doomed to exist as just your friend, nothing more. but when his genius (read: nerdy) best friend creates a highly accurate matchmaking app for the university, jake is ready to bribe, beg, and possibly sell his soul to make sure he gets paired with you. plan a? hack the system. plan b? there is no plan b. to jake, being delulu is the solulu, and he's all in.
✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. bestfriends!jay & heeseung]
✰ genre: fluff, comedy | college!au, matchmaking!au, friendstolovers!au, pining, pining, pining heh
✰ contains: honestly, just crack. i had too much fun with the humor in this one i think, whoops! lots of awkward tension, slow burn, pining, more pining, cute kithes (~ ̄³ ̄)~, reader is oblivious beyond saving, but no actual warnings other than maybe one or two cuss words i think!
✰ wc: ...19k (i swear this wasn't intentional...once again, i had too much fun)
✰ a/n: it's finally done! i'm nervvy because i haven't posted a fic in almost three years now,,,but i randomly got inspo one day after seeing a tiktok about a matchmaking questionnare and now here we are! i loved writing these characters, it was so much fun,,,but i also don't know how to feel abt the whole thing so i hope people enjoy this !! :’)) ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ���
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Simply put, Jake Sim is a simp. His name should honestly be legally changed from Sim Jae-yun to Simp Jae-yun at this point.
Jake doesn’t fall often, but when he does, he hits the ground with the force of a malfunctioning rocket ship. Once in the third grade, a girl gave him a Hello Kitty bandage after he face-planted off the playground swings. Cute, right? Well, Jake was so smitten, he spent the next week sliding his prized dino chicken nuggets across the lunch table like they were some ancient currency to win her over.
Did it work? Sort of. Did she eat all his nuggets without ever looking back? Absolutely.
But this? With you? This is different.
Jake would give up more than just his room-temp mystery-meat pterodactyls for you. He thinks he’d willingly cat-sit twelve cats—despite his strong dislike for cats. He thinks he’d voluntarily train for the national triathlon—despite always getting winded walking up the two flights of stairs to get to his apartment. He’d probably let you have the last Supreme pizza slice, which for Jake, is basically like offering you his soul on a silver platter.
Forget falling—Jake didn’t just trip, no. He plummeted into a cartoon-style pit, the kind covered with leaves spread over the top like some dollar-store disguise. He’s still down there, metaphorically flailing around like a maniac while you’re chilling up above, completely unaware that you Tom & Jerry-ed his heart.
In hindsight, Jake hopelessly pining for you was about as inevitable as a rom-com misunderstanding. The second his childhood best friend Grace—aka your college best friend and roommate—introduced you guys during freshman year orientation, Jake was hit with the biggest, dumbest case of whiplash known to mankind.
You were so confident, so outgoing, so unapologetically you. You were like sunshine, and Jake was just there, squinting and hoping he wouldn't spontaneously combust into a thousand ashes from simply staring at you.
But, as with all classic tropes (and pining fanfics), Jake knows that mixing friend groups and love interests is a recipe for disaster. And not just any disaster—a culinary trainwreck. Worse than whatever recipe the dining hall uses to make their sad excuse for tacos. Like, is it beef? Is it tofu? Who knows, and honestly, I don't think anyone wants to know.
Anyways, that brings us to today: a couple years later, with Jake still mooning over his friend. His feelings remain the best-kept secret in the history of best-kept secrets—well, if secrets were meant to be as obvious as a neon sign in a blackout.
In fact, Jake’s attempts at subtlety are about as smooth as a drunk giraffe on roller skates. Whenever you walk into the room, it’s like someone hits the ‘shutdown’ button on his brain. One second, he’s cracking jokes and holding conversations just fine, the next? Boom. Total system failure. You can almost hear the Windows XP error sound the moment you catch him off guard with a smile.
It’s not that Jake can’t talk to you—he’s your friend, after all. But the second he catches your sweet laugh or smile and his feelings come rolling in and the butterflies come out? Well, that’s when words start slipping through his fingers like sand, and his once confident banter turns into a cautious game of verbal Jenga.
His brilliant solution?
Simple: stick to safe topics and keep it light. Foolproof, right? Well, if your idea of foolproof includes missed opportunities and enough internal cringe to fuel a thousand regret-filled 3am thoughts.
Luckily for him, you’ve gone all these years mistaking his massive, raging, hormonal crush on you as part of his ‘friendly, sweet, soft-spoken boy’ personality. And Jake? He’ll take that over an awkward-confession-which-may-lead-to-a-crash-and-burn-outcome any day.
Honestly, who wouldn’t? Jake thinks as he glances at you from across the lunch table, currently laughing at one of Jay’s terrible puns. Yep, being friends with you is totally fine… totally fine… totally fine.
Jake’s totally fine.
Jake is totally not one more bad-Jay-pun away from writing tragic love haikus in his Notes app and forming a backstory about his unrequited feelings.
As if right on cue, Jay cracks a banana-physics joke (because, obviously, Jay is an expert in theoretical physics despite never having taken a class), and while everyone else is laughing, Jake’s over here, contemplating the meaning of life:
Her laugh echoes bright, I’m lost, no GPS found, Help, I’m still simping.
Jake stares down at his phone, horrified. Did he seriously just… haiku his feelings? Help. Is this what rock-bottom looks like?
"Alright listen up you peasants," Heeseung clears his throat dramatically as he suddenly approaches the group's lunch table located outside on campus grounds, interrupting Jake's poetic inner melodrama. "Your savior has arrived."
“This better be good, Hee. The last time you said that, you tried to convince us that you could drink five Red Bulls, pull an all-nighter, and still pass that chem exam,” you smirk questionably.
Heeseung points at you. “And I did pass.”
“You got a 61%,” Grace says, not even looking up from her phone.
“That’s still passing!” Heeseung declares, full of confidence. “Anyway, this time is different. I’ve been working on something life-changing.”
Jake shoots a glance in your direction before quickly looking away. He wants to say something witty, something that could make you laugh, but his brain is like, nah bro, not today. Instead, he nervously fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie. Since when was there a hole there?
“Life-changing?” Jay leans back in his chair, arms crossed, wearing his usual smirk. “What, are you finally going to start that YouTube channel where you rank ramen brands?”
Heeseung rolls his eyes as he takes a seat, “First of all, that channel is coming. But no, this is better. Way better. I’ve created…”
He pauses for dramatic effect, looking at everyone and drumming his fingers against the table,“…a matchmaking algorithm.”
You burst out laughing, breaking the silence of the table, “What? Like a dating app?”
“Is this about to be Tinder, but, like, nerdy?” Grace raises an eyebrow, intrigued but skeptical.
“Not quite. It’s a scientific, algorithm-based matching system, designed to pair people based on compatibility and mutual interests. And, lucky for you all, I’m testing it out on campus,” Heeseung grins, completely unbothered.
Jake’s heart skips a beat. Matchmaking? His mind first immediately goes to you. And then, downright panic. What if this robot thing pairs you with someone else? Oh god, what if it pairs you with, like, Jay, and he has to watch you guys flirt non-stop while he sits in the corner like a sad, dying houseplant? (mental note: water your houseplants when you get back to your dorm, jake!)
“Didn’t you also say it was ‘scientific’ when you ate an entire pack of Mentos and then drank Coke?” Grace’s brows furrow at the boy.
Heeseung scoffs at her dramatically. “That was for science. This is for love.”
You lean forward into the table, clearly interested.
“So you’re saying this app will scientifically find me a soulmate?” Your eyes light up and Jake’s heart skips a second beat as they happen to make eye contact with him as you say that. Please let that soulmate be me. Please. “What’s the catch? You’re not the type to just… help people find 'love' for free.”
Heeseung shrugs, pretending to be modest, “Not true! I’m doing this purely out of the goodness of my heart.”
Jay coughs, "Cap.”
“Okay, fine,” Heeseung admits, “it’s for a coding competition. The winner gets a year’s worth of free ramen from that noodle place near the dorms.”
Grace’s jaw drops. “You mean Noodle Nirvana? The one with the spicy miso?”
“Precisely, the one with the spicy miso," Heeseung nods proudly.
You let out a giggle, “So you’re telling me, you’ve created a love machine just so you can hoard ramen?”
“Correction,” Heeseung says, raising a finger, “I’ve created a highly advanced matchmaking algorithm to bring people together and also hoard ramen.”
“Good enough” you shrug, raising your iced coffee in a mock toast to your nerdy friend. “Sign me up.”
Oh no. Jake's heart skips a third beat (someone get him an ambulance please). Oh god, you're most definitely going to get matched up with someone else. And if that happens, bye-bye to the 12 black cats he’s already mentally prepared to care for. Bye-bye triathlon training.
But on the other hand...this could be Jake's golden opportunity—that is if somehow the universe decides to play nice and matches you with him. This could be his chance, his moment, his... immediate descent into chaos.
"Can your app match me with that cute barista that works at the campus boba shop every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 12pm to 5pm?" Jay's eyes sparkle with curiosity and excitement.
Heeseung gives Jay a look that says he’s one step away from calling campus security. "First of all, that’s borderline stalker territory. Second, no. It doesn’t work that way."
"So..there's no way you can influence the results at all? It's purely the robot’s doing?" you cock your head at Heeseung.
"Again, it's an algorithm! Not a robot," he then shrugs, "and I’m above bribery. Unless, of course, you’ve got a worthy offer."
"ooOoOh, corruption? Me likey," Jay’s eyebrows shoot up in mischief, "I'm in. Where do I sign up?"
“Already done, my friends. Check your emails," Heeseung pulls out his phone and points at it.
Jake’s phone buzzes at that moment, and when he opens it, the email is sitting at the top of his inbox. He’s never been more nervous to open an email in his life. Well, except maybe his college acceptance letter. Or his professor’s recent feedback on his History of Modern Warfare essay.
You tap your screen and start reading the email out loud:
Subject: [IMPORTANT SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT] Hello there awesome students & fellow single-tons, Have you ever looked around campus and thought, ‘Wow, everyone here is either taken, weird, or impossible to talk to?’ Well, I’m here to save you from the trenches of singleness with...*drumroll please* THE MATCHMATIC 3000 — the university's very own matchmaking algorithm! How does it work you ask? Simple. 1. Download the app from the link in this email (no, it's not a scam or a virus, I promise). 2. Enter your name and student ID (for verification purposes only – no catfishing allowed!) 3. Answer a bunch of super fun questions that might make you question your life choices but will definitely help MatchMatic 3000 find your perfect match! Once you’re done, the app will work its algorithmic magic to pair you with someone who’s probably just as confused about life as you are but is at least willing to share similar pizza toppings with you. The results will be sent out after a few days of algorithmic wizardry! Why am I doing this, you ask? Because who doesn’t love a good matchmaking fiasco? It’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, except instead of pasta, it’s your love life. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll have some hilarious stories to tell your future therapist! (Please don't bill me for your therapy bill. I'm broke.) It’s scientifically programmed, which means it’s flawless. Trust me, I’m very smart. Sign up now, and may your love life finally flourish. If it doesn’t, well, you can’t say I didn’t try. Questions will be released tomorrow, so sign up today before you catch a serious case of FOMO when all the cool kids start using the app ;) Sincerely, your friendly Campus Cupid, Lee Heeseung <3 *Disclaimer: The university, nor I, takes no responsibility for any romantic entanglements, awkward encounters, or sudden realizations that you might be better off single. Please use the MatchMatic 3000 responsibly.*
You look up, trying to hold in your laughter, “Heeseung, what the hell is this?”
Everyone around the table bursts into muffled giggles as they take in the sight of a 240fps gif of Heeseung’s head superimposed onto a sparkly cupid’s body, dramatically shooting an arrow into the abyss of their screens.
"It's called marketing, Y/N. You wouldn't understand,” Heeseung says unbothered.
“You really called yourself campus cupid,” Grace manages to get out, laughing so hard she’s practically wheezing.
“I said what I said,” Heeseung replies, puffing out his chest like a self-proclaimed genius. “And it’s true. I am your cupid. My algorithm is perfect. You guys are just haters. Just wait until I go viral and become rich and famous. Jake, you support me, right?"
Jake, who hasn’t uttered a peep in maybe a century, suddenly finds himself put on the spot. Oh no, I’ve been radio silent. They probably think I’m plotting my grand escape or something.
You turn towards Jake, waiting for his response and with a smile on your face, which is enough to send him into a decade long coma he thinks.
“Uh... yeah, for sure. Whatever it takes for that ramen, right?” he blurts out, awkwardly throwing in a finger gun for good measure.
Nailed it.
"Jakey here is too sweet to disagree with you, Hee, “ you look up at him, flashing him a soft, teasing smile.
And that’s it. Jake’s soul exits stage left.
He nearly chokes on his own saliva at the casual way you let the pet name roll off your tongue. It’s as if you’ve just handed him a ticket to a new dimension where 'Jakey' is a thing and he’s suddenly the happiest (and only) person on the planet.
Jakey, you called him Jakey. His mind takes an ad-break as he tries to recover. Is this…flirting? Is this how normal people flirt? Or are you just trying to send him into cardiac arrest for fun?
Either way, Jake’s officially malfunctioning. He deduces you’re just being your typical, outgoing self—completely oblivious to the heart palpitations your simple actions send to Jake’s heart. How can someone be so effortlessly charming yet unaware of the chaotic consequences?
“Y-Yeah, totally, sorry man,” he croaks out, praying to all higher powers above that this brief interaction is over. Heeseung's love machine may be flawless, but Jake? He’s barely functional.
Jake stares at the floor, trying to process this entire ordeal, as the rest of the table returns to their everyday conversation. This is happening. This is real. He needs to find a way to get matched with you, or else he can kiss Salt and Pepper (two of the twelve cats he’s already mentally named and is now emotionally invested in) goodbye. He glances over at you, who’s already—bless your curiosity—downloading the app.
Jake gulps. He’s doomed.
Today's the day. Jake’s internal doomsday.
Also known as, MatchMatic-3000-launches-it's-questions-day.
To the group's surprise, Heeseung’s love machine has gone viral across campus—it’s been the buzz of the school since his mass email blast 24 hours ago.
“Alright gang, let’s see if this app is as magical as Heeseung’s ego claims!” you declare, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you join everyone at the usual lunch table outside.
Jake, sitting beside you, is staring at his phone like it holds the secrets of the universe.
“I’m just hoping it matches me with someone who understands the sacred bond between a man and his video game console,” he mutters, sneakily glancing at your screen to see if you’re answering questions about your favorite video games. Because obviously, that’s the secret to his heart.
You’re too engrossed in the questions on your phone to notice his subtle mission.
“Even better,” you say without looking up, “I hope it matches me with someone who’ll actually play video games with me.”
Then, you look up and throw him a quick wink. Casual. Effortless. But to Jake? It’s like being a victim of a hit and run to the heart.
He’s definitely as red as his Asian Flush after two shots of soju. Maybe three.
Jay suddenly chimes in, “What if the app pairs us with people who have weird hobbies? Like, what if I get matched with someone who collects miniature spoons or lives in a house made entirely of cheese?”
Grace snickers at the overly dramatic boy. “Jay, I think you’d thrive in a cheese house. You’ve already mastered the art of cheesy puns.”
Jake, still staring at his phone, suddenly gets an epiphany, “Wait, do you think it can match you with someone who’s just as obsessed with obscure internet memes as I am?”
You let out a giggle towards his direction, amused by his question, which makes Jake realize that he said that out loud. Well, if he made you laugh, that's a win in his book.
Heeseung, noticing Jake’s moment of glory, nods.
“Oh, definitely. You might end up with someone who can appreciate a well-timed ‘Doge’ meme or has a shrine dedicated to Rickrolling."
“These questions are so random! A black cat or a golden retriever? What does that even mean?” you exclaim suddenly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Excuse me, it’s all about the science of psychology, Y/N—” Heeseung stabs his fork into his pasta with an almost theatrical flair, “—the algorithm needs to understand your deepest preferences. It’s not about cats or dogs; it’s about what your choices say about your soul.”
Jay, munching on his questionable-looking dining hall taco, grins. “So, basically, the app’s trying to figure out if we’re more ‘moody cat person’ or ‘happy-go-lucky dog lover.’ Got it.”
Jake’s thumb hovers nervously over his screen as he reaches the same question himself. His eyes dart back to your screen but can’t seem to make out what you’ve selected. You’re biting your lip in concentration, and Jake’s brain glitches for a second because, wow, how can someone look so cute answering stupid personality questions?
Heeseung notices Jake’s expression from across the table and leans back in his chair with a knowing smirk. “Jake, you look like you’re solving world hunger over there. What’s the deal? Just pick whatever, man.”
“I’m—I’m just being thorough, okay? This app’s gonna decide my entire love life. No pressure or anything,” Jake shifts uncomfortably, his face heating up.
Jay snorts, stuffing yet another taco in his mouth, "Jake’s acting like the app’s about to determine the rest of his life. Just chill, man. You’ll get paired with someone. Even if it’s someone who only eats purple foods or, I don’t know, makes miniatures of their exes.”
"Y/N's definitely getting paired with someone awesome," Grace teases, nudging you playfully from your other side. "Someone tall, athletic, probably knows how to cook gourmet meals."
Jake internally winces at the description. Tall? He's definitely 6 feet...on a good day...with the right shoes. Athletic? Jake plays soccer! Well..played. In, like, middle school. Gourmet meals? He considers dino nuggets a gourmet meal so...he's practically a Michelin-star chef.
You laugh at Grace's comment, shaking your head, "Honestly, I'm just hoping for someone who doesn't ghost me after three texts. Low bar, I know."
Jake swallows besides you. Three texts. Got it. Don't ghost her, even if you do forget what words are in her presence.
Suddenly, you look up from your phone and turn to lock eyes with Jake. "What did you put Jake? Black cat or golden retriever?"
Jake freezes. Oh no, is this a test? This is definitely a test. He panics for a split second while his brain scrambles for the lobe that contains actual, cohesive, vocabulary.
"Uh, golden retriever. Definitely," he blurts out, voice higher than usual. "Golden retrievers are...loyal. And fun. Kinda like...you?" The last part slips out before he can stop himself.
The table goes silent. Jay chokes on his suspicious taco. Grace's eyebrows shoot up in amusement. Heeseung stares at Jake like he's watching the most entertaining drama unfold right in front of him.
You blink at Jake, then follow it with a soft giggle. "You're comparing me to a dog now?"
Jake goes bright red, stammering as he's viciously shaking his head, "No—I mean—not like that! I just meant—"
But you're still laughing next to him, he can feel your shoulders happily shaking against his, and while he's completely mortified, he can't help but feel the tiniest flicker of hope. At least you're laughing with him, not at him. Right? Right?
"Did anyone consider the fact that we might get matched up with one another?" Jay changes the topic as he wipes the remaining taco shell crumbs off his mouth.
Jake notices the look of pure horror plastered on both you and Grace's faces.
"Ew," you pretend to gag, while Grace laughs next to you. "Hard pass. You've got the same level of commitment as a first grader has with finishing their homework, and Heeseung’s definitely gonna end up marrying a computer. Plankton and Karen style. I think I'd rather date a Roomba. And you know I hate Roombas."
Jake can't help the smile tugging at his lips. He knows you're joking, but hearing you rule out the other two makes him feel just a little better. But then...wait.
You didn't say anything about Jake. What if you’ve already ruled Jake out, too? Not even a contender against Jay and Heeseung? The panic sets in as he thinks oh god, maybe she sees me like an actual Roomba—just following her around, waiting for crumbs of affection.
Heeseung feigns hurt by dramatically clutching his heart. "Oh no. I'm so heartbroken," he deadpans.
"I'd date you, Hee, don't worry," Jay winks, and without missing a beat, Heeseung blows him an exaggerated air kiss. "Thanks, babe."
Jake, still lost in his thoughts, wonders if he’s been friend-zoned so hard he’s transcended into actual appliance territory, right next to the Roombas.
Everyone's laughing over Heeseung and Jay's antics, while Jake here is spiraling into a full-on existential crisis over accepting his fate as the Roomba of your heart.
Is this my life now? I'm a...self-cleaning vacuum?
Jake comes to a realization the next morning: he can’t just settle for being the human equivalent of a non-sentient vacuum in your life. He needs to take action—and he needs to do it fast. Especially before the algorithm matches you with some 6-foot-tall, athletic, five-star chef who probably wakes up with flawless skin and has a perfectly curated Spotify playlist.
Jake’s brain scrambles for ideas, as he stares hopelessly at the blank essay document on his laptop titled: "History of Modern Warfare (with revisions)" His essay can wait. World War II may have been a big deal, but this? This is you. Only the most important thing to walk this earth (in Jake's eyes, at least).
What would a normal human being do? Grow a pair, march right up to you, and say something charming (probably, Jake wouldn't know). But Jake? Jake knows there’s a higher chance of him learning to speak fluent French in the next 24 hours than actually telling you how he feels.
Because that would require practice—in front of a mirror, at least five times a day, for three days straight. And by then, the matches will already be out, and you'll be swept off your feet by some handsome demigod in human form.
Jake sighs as he tries to type at least one sentence of his essay, hoping it will distract him from his lingering thoughts of you. Your smile, your laughter, your wink, your voice saying ‘Jakey’...
“The Battle of Normandy marked a significant turning point…”
Jake frowns. Turning point. Oh, great. That’s exactly what Jake’s waiting for—a turning point with you. Except his 'battle plan' is to let Heeseung’s love algorithm do the work for him. Yeah, sure. Because nothing says romantic courage like leaving your fate up to a glorified love machine.
Jake groans at the screen. He tries to type more, but his brain is already spiraling into worst-case scenarios. What if you get matched with someone who can bench-press a refrigerator? Or worse—someone who actually knows how to emotionally open up to you?
Frustrated, Jake slams his laptop shut, earning dirty glares from the students studying quietly around him in the library. His essay is long forgotten at this point. Who cares about The Battle of Normandy when his entire (nonexistent) love life is crumbling right in front of him?
He pulls at his hair in sheer desperation, searching for answers, any answers, to this disaster. Think, Jake, think!
Wait.
That's it.
Answers. He needs answers! Not the kind that would magically fix his social dysfunction around you. No, not those—that’s way beyond saving.
But your answers. The ones you put into The Matchmatic 3000. If Jake could somehow get a hold of those, he could match his responses to yours perfectly. Then BAM! Instant match. One foot in the door. Then maybe, just maybe, you'd stop seeing him as some automated dust-sucker.
A smile forms across Jake's face. Pure genius (self-proclaimed, of course).
Yes, this is the solution to all his problems. Well, except for the crippling anxiety and social awkwardness part. But one thing at a time, right?
Now he just needs your answers.
And possibly a therapist.
“Jake! What's wrong?" Grace appears at Jake's table tucked away in the back of the library, her hair frazzled and disheveled from her sprint across campus as a result of Jake's ‘SOS’ text.
Jake is sitting at the table, hands folded, looking perfectly intact, totally not at all in an ‘SOS’ situation, and has a small smile on his face as he looks up at his best friend.
“I figured it out!”
"You better tell me you just figured out time travel or the cure for world hunger, because I just full-on sprinted across campus thinking you got your laptop stolen or, heaven forbid, you got your hand trapped in the printer again,” Grace's eyes narrow as she takes a seat across from him.
"I told you not to mention that again! It was an honest mistake," Jake's eyes widen, afraid people around them heard about Jake's embarrassingly tragic battle with the library’s printer. "But no, it's even better than that. It's kinda...off the books though."
Grace blinks back at him. "How off the books? Like...'help me hide the body' off the books, or 'expose the secret recipe to the dining hall's mysterious tacos' off the books?”
Jake glances around to make sure no one's eavesdropping, then lowers his voice, "More like...'help me get Y/N's answers to the Matchmatic 3000' off the books?"
There's a beat of silence as Grace struggles to process the absurdity of what she just heard.
“Wait, hold up. You want me to help you cheat the dating app?”
Jake nods fervently, if not a little desperately.
"It's not cheating! Call it...strategic alignment. I need to make sure I match with her. That's the only way I could ever get a chance, and you're the only one who can help me!"
Grace leans in from across the table, clearly in disbelief, yet amused, "So let me get this straight...you want me to somehow get her answers, so you can change yours to match hers, in hopes that Hee's magical AI or whatever pairs you two together?"
Jake attempts to give her his best 'please help me' puppy eyes, but it's clear he's more of a lost kitten right now.
"And you're asking me to get my hands dirty...why exactly?" She smirks at the fidgety Jake, finding his over-the-top desperation for you both amusing and oddly endearing.
"Uh..because you're my best friend, duh. And also, you're the closest to her—if Jay and Hee found out, they'd never let me live it down! And Jay would probably make a TikTok about it just to watch me die from embarrassment," Jake rambles, hoping he can convince the seemingly unimpressed girl in front of him.
“Uh-huh," Grace raises an eyebrow. "And what’s in it for me? Sure, I'm your best friend, but I'm also her friend and ever-so-loyal roommate. You're asking for a lot here, bud."
Jake looks flustered for a moment, as if he hadn’t really thought about that part.
“Uh, well, I could—um—maybe buy you coffee for a week? Or, I don’t know, do your physics thesis project you've been avoiding."
Grace pretends to consider his offer for a second, but the second he mentions the ‘physics thesis project’, her decision is instantly made.
"Fine," she sighs, leaning back in her chair. "But just so you know, if this goes sideways, I was never here."
Jake smiles like he just won the lottery. Salt & Pepper, here I come!
"But also…," Grace begins, looking right at Jake, making him squirm. Not in a cute Y/N-noticed-me type of squirm, but the oh-no-I'm-about-to-get-lectured kind. "Take my advice, Jake. Stop being a wuss."
Jake's grin falters at his friend's sudden, but painfully true, words.
Grace leans in, her voice serious, "I mean, you can't just hide behind an app and hope for the best. If you really want a shot with Y/N, you need to actually, I don’t know, tell her your feelings? She's not some untouchable goddess who's going to smite you for shooting their shot."
Jake winces. "But what if she's not interested? What if I make it weird? What if—"
"Jake," Grace's voice cuts through his spiraling thoughts. "You won't know unless you try! And you're a great guy, but how would Y/N know that if you don't open yourself up more? Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?"
"Uh. Spontaneous combustion? If I look her in the eyes for longer than 5 seconds, I just might implode. Or, you know, cease to exist," Jake deadpans, his hands gesturing wildly to emphasize his impending doom.
Grace snorts at her poor, poor friend, clearly amused by his romantic spiral. "Okay, first, no one's ever died from eye contact, buddy. Second, I'm not saying you should storm out there and go ask for her hand in marriage or anything—please, don't do that. I'm just saying, just at least try talking to her more maybe.” Baby steps, Grace thinks, baby steps.
Jake blinks. She's right. Of course she's right. He can’t let some algorithm control his entire love life, no matter how advanced or magical Heeseung claims it is.
Grace, seeing Jake's gears slowly turning, throws him a lifeline: “Alright, fine. If it makes you feel better, she may or may not have called you cute once. Better?"
Jake freezes. His eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights. Cute? You called him cute? All the oxygen leaves his lungs, and he’s pretty sure he’s about to pass out right here in the library.
"Wait, what?"
"Don’t get too excited," Grace smirks, clearly enjoying watching Jake short-circuit. "She said it in passing. Once."
Jake, now on the verge of a mental breakdown, blurts out, "Like, ‘aw-that-puppy-is-cute’ cute? Or like, ‘he’s-so-cute-I-wanna-kiss-him’ cute? I need specifics, Grace!"
Grace’s grin widens, watching her friend spiral into oblivion. "Jake, you’re overthinking it again. Relax. Just take the win."
"Grace, please, I'm begging you. On a scale from 'puppy' to 'kiss', where do I stand?!" Jake's eyes are practically bugging out of his head at this point.
Grace rolls her eyes, but her teasing smile doesn't falter. "If you keep freaking out like this, you’re gonna drop down to 'awkward goldfish' cute real quick."
"I’m doomed,” Jake groans, burying his face in his hands.
Grace pats his back with mock sympathy. "Yep. But at least she'll think you're cute while doing it."
Jake peeks at her through his fingers. “You think she meant 'kiss' cute?”
"Finish your plan first, lover boy. Then we’ll talk."
Jake can’t help the ridiculous smile growing on his face.
Kiss cute, he decides. It has to be.
You think if you have to read one more sentence about human anatomy, you might actually cry. You sigh as you close your textbook and push it aside to reside with the unnecessary amount of highlighters scattered on the café table between you and Grace.
"I hate this. I hate the circulatory system. Why do I even need to know what the ‘superior vena cava’ is," you groan as you take a sip of what's left of your watered down iced matcha.
Grace hums in front of you as her eyes continually scan the textbook, desperate to absorb just enough information to survive tomorrow's anatomy quiz.
"Because it keeps you alive, Y/N. Duh," Grace jokes as her eyes stay peeled to her textbook.
"Screw that," you scoff. "I don't need the circulatory system to keep me alive. I just need caffeine and BTS's entire discography pumped through my veins to live."
Grace finally glances up, giving you an amused side-eye at your usual dramatic flair, before she remembers she has an important mission at hand:
Operation Jake & Y/N.
Grace slams her textbook closed with a dramatic thud to show she's finished studying (she's not).
"Sooo...speaking of circulatory systems and...hearts and...stuff—did you ever finish filling out the questions for Hee's love app thingy?"
You, oblivious to the sudden change in topic, shrug as you fish your straw around your plastic cup, hoping to find more drops of watery matcha to savor.
"Yeah, I finished it the other day. It took me forever though. Like, why does it need to know if I'd rather have a personal trainer who can only teach me interpretive dance versus a personal chef who can only cook cereal? I swear Hee was on some drugs or something while creating those questions."
"Not drugs, probably an unhealthy amount of caffeine and ramen though," Grace snorts, still trying to play it cool.
"Caffeine is a drug, doofus," you say pointedly, right before you get a smack in the forehead by Grace's crumbled up straw wrapper.
"Whatever," Grace laughs. "Hey I'm curious—what did you put for your answers? Wanna compare? See how similar we are?" Grace's leg is bouncing under the table, trying to keep up the ‘smooth’ façade, hoping you won't find her sudden interest weird.
"Sure, why not?" you nonchalantly agree, not thinking twice about the random request.
Grace blinks in surprise. That was...way easier than expected. She was ready to prepare some elaborate excuse, like ‘I need your answers to match you up with my desperate best friend who's head over heels for you!’
Oh wait. That part is real. You get the gist.
"Unless...," you pause suddenly. Uh oh. "Unless you're going to sell my answers to some mad scientist and they try to make an evil clone of me to take over the world and end up framing me and I'll have to clear my name in a dramatic world-televised court trial."
Grace blinks, before rolling her eyes, as her nervous heartbeat returns to a normal rate.
“You're so goddamn weird sometimes.”
You beam at your friend, clearly amused at yourself, as you scroll through your answers and send screenshots to Grace without a second thought. "Sent! Oh, and send me yours—I wanna know what you put for 'Stuck in a room with Shrek for 24 hours' versus 'Fight 100 duck-sized horses.'"
“Oh, vibe with Shrek, 100%,” Grace answers without skipping a beat, earning an agreeing high five from you.
Grace is ecstatic. This was so much easier than she thought. Not only does this mean her desperate best friend will finally get his shot with you (which also means she won’t have to hear his dramatic overthinking questions about whether you sharing a sandwich with him was a cosmic sign or just a sandwich), but it also guarantees her a week of free coffee and an A+ in physics for this semester.
She quickly types out a quick message to Jake as you're still distracted by your now near empty matcha cup:
Grace [1:26PM]: "mission accomplished. prepare for epic matchmaking success and a lifetime supply of guilt-free caffeine. for me, ofc"
Grace leans back in satisfaction, practically tasting the sweet (and caffeinated) taste of victory. She's done her end of Mission Impossible, and now it's up to Jake to do...well, whatever Jake does in these situations.
Her phone buzzes with a reply from Jake:
Jake [1:28PM]: THANK YOU!!! also...not a lifetime supply...just a week. don't get it twisted"
"Look, all I'm saying is," you declare, leaning back on the couch, "if all five of us pitch in, we could most definitely rob a bank."
What had started as a group study session two hours ago in your and Grace's apartment has, as usual, turned into your friend group's typical day of hanging out: wildly imagining scenarios so far removed from reality that there’s absolutely no chance you’d end up in them—but entertaining the idea anyway, because what else are you going to do when you're supposed to be studying?
Grace snickers from beside you, "Yeah, and with your stealth skills, we'd get caught in about three business seconds. You literally screamed when I dropped that piece of paper yesterday."
"It startled me! Gravity's such a scary concept, okay?" You huff, arms crossed. Jake, sitting on your other side, fights back the slight grin growing on his face as he watches you scrunch your face in that way he secretly finds unfairly cute, even if it is over your fear of inanimate objects. So weirdly adorable.
Heeseung, sitting cross-legged on the floor from across the couch, raises an eyebrow, “Y/N, do you even know how banks work?”
“She’s got the spirit. I’d give her a solid 7/10 for enthusiasm. Execution, though? Negative two,” Jay says as crosses his arms with a grin from beside Heeseung.
You grab and throw a couch pillow at him, which he dodges with ease, sticking out his tongue. Jake instinctively shifts closer to you, to your oblivion, like he’s ready to shield you from any incoming retaliation missiles.
“What, and you’d be the brains of the operation? Mr. ‘I forgot my own phone password for two days?’” You fire back.
Jay shrugs, unfazed, “Hey, no need to bring up the past. We all make mistakes.”
“Yeah,” Jake finally chimes in, hoping you will notice how smooth he sounds, “but not all of us text our own phone ‘Why won’t you let me in?’ while the password is literally ‘1234.’”
Everyone laughs, except Jay, who gasps and points dramatically at Jake, “Betrayal. How dare you?”
“It’s public knowledge, bro. You told everyone,” Jake raises his hands in defense, but his eyes keep flickering back to you, wondering if your sweet laughter is because of him this time. And call him delusional, but he really thinks it is. You throw your head back from laughing so hard, at some point your hand graces Jake’s knee next to yours to stabilize yourself.
It’s no secret—well, at least not to Grace—that Jake’s newfound confidence around you is all thanks to that one tiny lifeline Grace threw him: you called him cute once. Just once. And now, Jake’s running with it, holding on for dear life, and convincing himself that maybe, just maybe, you think about him the same way he thinks about you. Maybe.
“I told you all in confidence! That was a moment of weakness!” Jay crosses his arms, looking like a child who just got scolded at. “I trusted you people.”
Grace, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the coffee table, pouts at Jay, “And that, my friend, was your first mistake.”
“Et tu, Grace?” Jay gasps, clutching his chest like he’s been personally victimized by the betrayal of his closest friends. Well…he was.
Heeseung, shaking his head, cuts in, “Okay, but if we’re robbing a bank, I’m in charge. I’m the only one here with any common sense.”
You frown, “What do you mean? I have common sense! I brushed my teeth today and everything!”
Jake watches you with a soft smile, finding even your exaggerated outrage so weirdly adorable.
Grace bursts out laughing, “Y/N, sweetie, that’s basic hygiene, not common sense. But good job. We’re all proud of you.”
Jake, clearly riding his boost of confidence from earning that one (1) laugh from you, decides to add in and nods, looking completely serious, “Honestly, I think we should celebrate that. Maybe get you a gold sticker or something.”
“You guys are bullies,” you mutter, sinking into the couch, but you're laughing too. Jake tries to hide how melted he feels when you laugh like that—all bright and simply, you.
“It's nothing personal, Y/N,” Heeseung adds, smirking, "but you can't easily get startled by inanimate objects and claim you have common sense."
Jay snickers, pointing at you, “Remember that time you thought the vacuum was attacking you?”
You shoot him a glare, debating on throwing yet another couch pillow at him, “It moved on its own, okay? That’s suspicious.”
"The Roomba was doing its job. You nearly declared war on the thing," Grace, mouth full of popcorn, can't defend you on this one.
Jake, on the other hand, feels compelled to defend you, even if he knows it’s ridiculous. You know, since he could relate to the whole impending-mental-doom-by-a-Roomba thing, "The Roomba was being weird that day.”
Jay side-eyes Jake, “Oh, so now you’re on Team Roomba Conspiracy? That’s rich.”
That is rich, considering Jake nearly signed up for therapy just days ago after having an existential crisis about being recruited to join your arch-nemesis—Roombas. Now here he was, ready to go to battle for your anti-automated-dust-sucker stance.
Jake shrugs, refusing to make eye contact with anyone, suddenly hyper-aware of your attention on him, “I just think we shouldn’t dismiss Y/N’s concerns so quickly.”
You turn to him with the softest smile he's seen in the history of smiles—one that fully knocks the breath right out of him.
“Aw thank you, Jake! Someone around here finally gets it,” you momentarily rest your head on his shoulder for two fleeting seconds—short enough to show your appreciation but long enough to utterly dismantle the boy’s composure.
He’s frozen. Brain empty, no thoughts…except for the scent of your shampoo rushing his senses. He’s not sure if he’s about to pass out or propose.
“Simp,” Jay mutters under his breath, just loud enough for Jake to hear. Jake shoots him a warning look, making Jay’s smirk grow wider.
Grace, still giggling at the memory of you running away from a Roomba, then turns to Heeseung with a curious grin, "Speaking of concerns, how's the app going? When are we gonna find out who's paired with who?"
Heeseung immediately groans, frustratingly running a hand through his hair, "It's...going, alright. Some people are weird, man. I don't even know how to process some of these answers."
"Really? How so?" You perk up at this, interested.
Heeseung sighs as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, "Okay, look at this—someone put 'ramen' as an answer for what they're looking for in a partner."
Jay snorts, "Sounds like something you’d put, honestly. You should match yourself up with them!"
"And this person," Heeseung continues, scrolling and displaying his phone to the rest of the group, "just answered 'vibes' to every single question. Every. One. What does that even mean?!"
Everyone shrugs around the coffee table in confusion as the exasperated boy dramatically tosses his phone to the side like it personally offended him.
"Anyways. I should be done tonight, so hopefully the matches get released tomorrow," he reveals, to everyone's excitement.
"Ohmygosh, tomorrow?" Grace claps her hands lightly. "I can't wait, I hope I get paired with someone who, like, is secretly Spiderman or something. You know, someone with substance."
"I'm nervous, what if I get a total weirdo?" You mutter, eyes widening at the thought.
Jake thinks to himself: as long as he gets paired with you, he doesn't mind being a total weirdo. He'll be your total weirdo. He'll dye his hair neon rainbow, start collecting Russian nesting dolls, and live in a treehouse if that's what it takes.
"Y/N," Jay speaks up, cocking his head out from the bag of potato chips he's currently annihilating, "if anything, you're gonna be the weird one in whatever relationship you end up in."
You instinctively reach for another pillow to throw at him, but Jake is faster, shielding his arms around you, "Okay, okay, let's be nice. I'm sure Y/N will end up with someone perfectly normal, and anyone who ends up with Y/N will not find her weird at all."
That's because Jake better be the one that ends up with you. And he definitely doesn't think you're weird. Well maybe a little. In an endearing way.
And hopefully, in your eyes, he's normal. Or not—it's all the same to him, as long as he's the one by your side.
All the steps are set in stone. Now, he just needs the algorithm to do its thing and simply match you two together—which is bound to happen, given Jake is practically a Y/N 2.0 after copying all your answers. If this doesn't work, then the universe is officially out to get him.
Yes. Everything will happen according to plan.
It has to.
Nothing goes according to plan.
Jake's eyes dart in panic between Grace's look of confusion and your phone screen, currently displaying to the rest of the lunch table your so-called soulmate's name, which, surprise surprise—it's not Jake.
Instead, it reads:
Match: Park Sunghoon
You shrug as you glance up from your phone, completely unaware of the Tom and Jerry hole Jake is crawling back down right now, "I think he's that new transfer student. I've seen him around in my psychology class, he's kinda cute!"
Jake's heart sinks deeper than he thought was humanly possible. Cute? Like 'puppy' cute or 'kiss' cute? Oh god, his worst nightmare is coming true. He's about to be banished back to the sad category of 'automated vacuums' in your heart, left to raise 12 kittens on his own.
Jay frowns, crossing his arm, "No fair, I haven't gotten my match yet, and Y/N gets the cute new kid? This is rigged."
Heeseung smirks, leaning back in his chair like some algorithm god, "Patience, child. The results are rolling out throughout the entire day. I added that feature for the 'element of surprise.'"
Grace, meanwhile, subtly leans towards Jake while everyone else rambles over your match, "Looks like the universe hates you."
"I can't believe it didn't work. It doesn't make any sense, it has to be broken or something,” Jake says, visibly upset, trying his very best to not dig himself a grave right then and there in the middle of the university's quad.
Grace shrugs, feeling confusion on behalf of her best friend as well, "At least you can say you tried. Maybe the universe is trying to hint at you to actually talk to her and get into a relationship the normal, organic way."
"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles. But Jake is too perplexed to listen to Grace's—very, very, valid—logic right now.
Jake's thoughts spiral faster than a malfunctioning Roomba trapped in a corner, repeatedly slamming into the same wall with no hope of escape. Honestly, Jake wishes there was a wall around him right now to repeatedly slam his head into. Maybe that way the delulu in him—the one that convinced him he could hack his way into your heart—can finally escape his brain.
His brain is short-circuiting in panic, bouncing between the reality of his failure and the absolute tragedy that Sunghoon—the cute transfer student (you probably think he's kiss-cute too) is about to waltz in and steal his entire future. Jake can already picture Sunghoon effortlessly holding all twelve hypothetical kittens, while Jake is left alone with nothing but his shattered dreams.
Before Jake can imagine another over dramatic scenario in his head of you and Sunghoon that would make him physically rip out his own heart and stomp all over it, Grace's phone suddenly pings.
"You've got to be kidding me."
Everyone turns to look at her, as Grace glances up from her phone, the look of pure horror on her face.
Grace slowly turns her phone around for everyone to see, and there, in bold letters, sits:
Match: Park Jongseong
A beat of silence (or as Grace would call it, moment of silence for the fallen. The fallen being Grace), then...
“HA!” Jay cackles, pointing at her. “Sucks to be you.”
"Oh, you think this is funny, Park?" Grace glares at him, and at everyone else for giggling at the absurd match. "I would literally rather match with my chemistry TA who wears socks with sandals."
Heeseung perks up, clearly overly amused at the match drama ensuing around the table, "Wait, that chem TA's not that bad lowkey..."
Grace throws him a look, "Hee, this isn't about Steve the TA! This is about my life being ruined in real time!"
Jake tunes in and scoffs, so shocked at his friend's statement, he forgot the setting they're all in, "Your life being ruined? What about mine?"
Jake quickly silences himself after he realizes what he just said..and in front of you.
"What about your life getting ruined, Jake? Did you get your match yet?" You look up at him from across the table, curious who could possibly have Jake in such shambles (Ironic, isn't it?).
"Err—no, not yet. What I mean is..uhh," Jake stammers, his remaining brain cells (which isn't many at this point) trying to muster up the best lie they could to cover himself. "My life would totally be ruined if Grace and Jay end up together because...uhh..because I'd totally have to third-wheel them all the time!"
Yes, that's good Jake. Good job, good job.
You seem to be convinced enough by the excuse, your eyes suddenly widening in fear.
"Oh god, you're so right! This means Jay's gonna be over at our apartment all the time now. He'll probably never leave,” you visibly shudder.
Grace gestures wildly at the entire table in disbelief, "You guys! What in the world makes you think Jay and I are going to end up together just because some love algorithm thinks we're good for each other? No offense, Hee."
Jay, on the other hand, reclines back in his chair, looking entirely too smug for someone who just got called out as a last-choice match, "Hey, the algorithm knows what's up. Maybe this is fate, Grace. This could be fun." He points between the two of them, as if sealing a deal.
"Fun?! Wrestling a bear made entirely of thorns sounds more fun," Grace physically recoils, like she just touched something soggy in the sink's drain, her expression sending the whole table into laughter.
"Honestly, I see it. Can't fight the science," you speak up, throwing a knowing look at Grace before Jay gives you an appreciative high-five from across the table.
Grace snaps her head towards you and gasps, "Traitor! How dare you—you better sleep with your door locked tonight or I swear—"
"ALL I'm saying is—" you raise your hands in defense, interjecting before Grace can vow to eliminate you and your future lineage from the face of this planet, "—I think it’s kind of sweet you matched with someone you actually know, you know? I mean, I wish I got paired with a close friend. I’ve always believed in the friend-to-significant-other pipeline."
Friend to significant other? Jake's internal monologue screeches to a halt. Y/N, I'm right here! I could be the one, not Sunghoon! That could be us!
Then, as if you could read his thoughts, your gaze meets Jake’s for just a beat too long, lingering in that space where words usually get lost. Jake swears your expression softens for half a second before you casually shift your focus back on Grace. His brain is officially overheating. Was that a hint? Was it?
Oh my god. She’s totally hinting at me.
Or—no, wait. Maybe he's reading into it again. Maybe he's so deep into this 'delulu' life that now every sentence feels like it's tailor-made just for him.
Yeah, that has to be it. Definitely the latter, right? Right.
Heeseung perks up from his seat, pointing at Grace, "See? She's right. Trust the science. And the friendship! But mostly the science. Science doesn’t mess up, man. It must've sensed some... undercurrents between you and Jay."
Grace looks like she’s about to leap across the table and strangle Heeseung with his own hoodie strings, but Jay interrupts with a wide grin.
"Yeah, undercurrents, Gracey-poo. We’re destined."
You lose it, breaking into uncontrollable laughter as Grace pretends to dry heave at the sound of the pet name.
"And just like that," she says, dramatically standing up from her seat, "I think that’s my cue to leave. If I hear Jay call me ‘Gracey-poo’ again, I’m going to bleach my ears."
The entire table is still laughing while Grace makes her swift escape to her next class. You finally manage to catch your breath, turning to Jake with a small smile (which also casually happens to send his brain into overdrive. No big deal, really).
"I'm excited to see who you get paired with, Jake! I bet she's amazing."
Jake feels his heart sink a little, but he forces a casual smile. No one is as amazing as you though (cheesy, but painfully true).
Trying to cover his disappointment, Jake shrugs, "I don’t know... I’m not really that into this whole matchmaking thing anyway." He leans back, feigning nonchalance. "I don’t think I’ll actually do anything with whoever I get matched with."
Jake can’t tell if the small breath you let out is in relief or if, once again, he’s feeding his delusional part of his brain that’s been working overtime.
But before he can overthink it, you raise an eyebrow, teasing him, "What? You’re not even curious? What if it’s someone perfect for you?"
Jake laughs awkwardly, desperately trying to keep his cool. It would be perfect if it was you. But instead, he blurts out, "Yeah, maybe they’ll match me with my future laundry partner. Who knows?" Laundry? Really, Jake?
"That would be a miracle," Heeseung looks up from his phone, gesturing towards Jake, "this guy never does his laundry."
Jake shoots him a sharp look, "Not true! I just need...some motivation.."
"Motivation from your future girlfriend?" Jay chimes in, raising an eyebrow. "That's gotta be a new low, dude."
You nudge Jake's arm from across the table, grinning, "Hey, maybe the algorithm’s just that good. It knows you need a laundry-loving girlfriend in your life."
Jake snorts, playing along, but his thoughts are a mess. Laundry-loving girlfriend? Nah, Jake needs you as his girlfriend—no question about it.
As you turn your attention back to your phone, the smile fades from Jake’s face, just for a second. His eyes linger on you longer than he means to, before he leans his head on his hand, pretending to care about whatever random TikTok Heeseung is showing him right now.
But the video’s a blur. All Jake can focus on is how wrong everything feels. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to be his match. You are his match. He knows it.
Forget laundry-doing-girlfriends or algorithm-approved pairings. If the app really knew what Jake needed, it would’ve led him straight to you.
And honestly, Jake’s pretty sure he’s smarter than the sleep-deprived, ramen-fueled algorithm Heeseung cooked up. So yeah, screw the love machine.
If the app won’t do it for him, then it’s time he takes matters into his own hands.
(About time.)
“Please please please pleeeeease!” Jake’s trailing behind Heeseung throughout their shared living room like a toddler whose candy got snatched, but way more desperate.
Yeah, uh, this is Jake's idea of taking matters into his own hands.
This is officially the billionth time Heeseung’s heard this in the past 24 hours. At least this time Jake managed to wait until Heeseung was out of the shower and fully clothed before launching into his regularly programmed meltdown. Progress, right?
“Jake! You do realize what you’re asking me, right? You sound insane.” Heeseung's patience is thinner than the cup ramen noodles he’s survived on for the past week. He takes a seat on their couch, before pointedly looking at his desperate roommate. “You’re being ridiculously dramatic.”
Jake scoffs, like the mature adult he is. “YOUR FACE is being ridiculously dramatic.” Yup. Like the mature adult he is.
Heeseung came out to the living room in hopes of being able to catch up on the latest episode of The Bachelor, but to no avail, as the younger boy was waiting to catch him all day (not that Heeseung was actively avoiding Jake or anything, no definitely not). But instead of screaming at the TV in frustration at the bachelor's terrible decisions, here he was, staring at Jake, silently contemplating how many years in prison throwing him off their apartment's balcony would cost him.
Three? Maybe four? Would it be worth it? Possibly.
“All you gotta do,” Jake begins to launch his TED Talk, “is send out a mass email to all your participants and be like, ‘Oh noooo, the AI or robot or magical unicorn or whatever messed up!’ Then you just re-release the answers, but this time, pair me with Y/N, bada-bing bada-boom. Easy peasy.”
Heeseung stares blankly. Honestly, prison doesn’t sound that bad.
“First off, it’s not a robot. It’s an algorithm,” Heeseung says for the seventy-millionth time, contemplating launching his side career as a 'broken record'. “Second, if people found out it ‘messed up,’ my reputation would be in shambles. Can you imagine all the couples who met their match, only to find out it was a giant, steaming load of—”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jake waves him off, deploying his best attempt (key word: attempt) at puppy-dog eyes. “But what about my soulmate?”
Heeseung groans and rubs his temples, “Jake, if she’s really your soulmate, maybe try telling her how you feel like a normal human being instead of begging me to rewrite reality?”
Jake pauses, then, in true Jake fashion, says: “Yeah, but like...nah.”
Heeseung looks at Jake, who is now staring at him with the intensity of someone waiting for a miracle, “You really don’t see how unhinged this sounds, do you?”
Jake blinks.
“I mean, yeah, but, like, what if it works? I’m just saying, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky said that.”
Heeseung rolls his eyes so hard he’s pretty sure he saw his past life flash by, “Did Wayne Gretzky also say, ‘Be a total weirdo and bother your friend to break all ethical codes and rig an algorithm because you’re too chicken to tell a girl you like her?’”
Jake shrugs. “He might’ve. We don’t know his whole catalog of wisdom.”
“I’m begging you—just talk to her. Or, I dunno, send her a meme on Instagram or something. Do anything other than harass me. Please.”
Jake's face scrunches up like Heeseung just suggested he swim with sharks. “A meme? Really? Do I look like some kind of loser who communicates through memes? I’ll have you know I’m a very mature adu—”
SMACK!
A flying sock lands squarely on Jake’s head. He blinks, confused, as Jay strolls in from his room and plops next to Heeseung, looking way too pleased with himself, “Dude, you’re begging like a guy who just got ghosted by an ATM. Have some dignity.”
“You’re not helping,” Jake glares, throwing the sock back at Jay.
Jay, with the wisdom only a seasoned disaster like him can possess, shrugs, “Honestly, Heeseung, just rerun the thing. I’m pretty sure the universe would implode if this dude doesn’t get matched with Y/N. And frankly, I don’t want to deal with that level of cosmic drama.”
“Jay, not you too,” Heeseung pinches the bridge of his nose as he realizes he needs to find a new spot to watch his show from now on.
Jay raises his hands in mock surrender, “Hey, man, I’m just looking out for you. If Jake doesn’t get his way, he’ll never shut up. You’re one day away from him showing up at your room's door with a PowerPoint presentation. Think of your sanity. Plus, we all live together which means I have to see the presentation too. Think of my sanity.”
“PowerPoint, huh? I could probably whip something up. Maybe add some pie charts and bar graphs,” Jake, clearly inspired, mutters to himself.
Heeseung stares at the ceiling, wondering if this is his villain origin story (it most definitely is). “There’s absolutely no way I’m risking the integrity of my algorithm just because you can’t grow a backbone.”
Jake’s face falls, but Jay’s wheels are already turning on behalf of his friend, Mr. Simp, “Hold up, hold up. Hee, think about it. There’s gotta be something you want. I mean, everyone’s got a price, right?”
Heeseung raises an eyebrow, still annoyed, yet intrigued. What? A good deal is a good deal.
“And what exactly do you think I want, Jay?”
Jay flashes a grin that screams mischief.
“We know you’ve been grinding on this algorithm for weeks, man. Barely sleeping. Barely eating,” Jay narrows his eyes in dramatic fashion, as though he’s about to uncover a deep secret. “You’re like two ramen packets away from full-on malnutrition. Sad really.”
“Yeah, bro. We care about you. You need... balance. Maybe a reward for all your hard work?” Jake suddenly adds, nodding vigorously, picking up on Jay's scheming.
Heeseung stares at them blankly, “Are you bribing me with...food?”
“Not just any food,” Jake adds, gesturing dramatically. “Free food. Unlimited food from anywhere, for a month. On me. You’ll never have to eat those mystery meat tacos from the dining hall ever again.”
Jay interjects, pointing at Jake, "Hey, I'll have you know, those tacos are actually quite good! You just have to deal with the initial frequent toilet trips when you first try them..."
Heeseung’s resolve flickers for a moment. His stomach growls at the mere thought of having actual, edible food (for free!) that isn’t microwavable...or whatever they put in those tacos.
Jake, sensing weakness, presses on, “AND… AND! I’ll do all your laundry. One month. No questions asked. I’ll even iron your shirts.”
Jay, impressed by Jake's bargaining methods, nods his head along as if to convince the skeptical Heeseung, hoping to save himself from also having to hear Jake's consistent whining around the apartment any longer.
Heeseung narrows his eyes. “I don’t iron my shirts.”
“I’ll iron them anyway. Luxury service.”
A pause. Heeseung’s brain is doing some serious mental gymnastics. On one hand, his precious algorithm. On the other… food that didn’t come from a vending machine and clean clothes that weren’t dug out of his laundry basket which is somewhere in the abyss that is his closet right now.
Jay nudges him, whispering like he's the devil on Heeseung's left shoulder, “Think about it, man. What’s more important? Some random algorithm, or free pizza from that one place around the corner every day?”
“I swear, if this comes back to bite me..,” Heeseung sighs, rubbing his temples but already thinking about the mouth-watering cheesy goodness he could be having every day.
“So, you’ll do it?!” Jake’s eyes suddenly light up with hope, reflecting the picture-perfect image of a golden retriever right now.
“Fine,” Heeseung glares at him, feeling the last of his integrity slip away. “But if anyone asks, you never heard this from me. And I expect my meals hot and my laundry folded.”
Jake gleams and practically starts bouncing off their living room's walls. “Yes! Yes! You won’t regret this! I mean, you probably will, but thank you!”
Heeseung shakes his head, regretting every life choice that led to this moment. Jay claps him on the back. “See? Was that so hard? Now you can live like a king for a whole month. I’d call that a win.”
“A king with a crumbling empire,” Heeseung sighs.
“Y/N, here I come!” Jake’s already halfway out their apartment's front door, with no destination in sight—just overjoyed with excitement that he feels he could run ten laps around campus right now (plot twist: he doesn't—he ends up running down the stairs just to get winded and comes right back up to the apartment).
As Jake sprints off, Heeseung groans, “I’ve made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?”
"Nah," Jay shrugs, already opening his phone. "Probably.”
Heeseung realizes he, indeed, made a terrible mistake when he looks up from his phone at lunch the next day and sees a particular you, storming up to the table.
Once you reach the table, you thrust your phone into his face, the ‘rematch’ email, that Heeseung had sent out only a few minutes ago, on display:
Subject [SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT] : MatchMatic 3000 Oopsie Alert Hello there, awesome students & fellow singletons, Sooo...this is awkward. Despite weeks of blood, sweat, and ramen going into the creation of the Matchmatic 3000, it appears that a tiny part of the code had a full-on meltdown 🤖💔 As a result, some of the matches you received earlier this week were... well... not exactly what the love gods (or the code) intended. But hey, don’t panic! Not everyone’s match was wrong, just a small handful (I swear, please don’t come for me!). I truly apologize for the mix-up, and I’m already back at my desk (and caffeine-mixed-with-ramen-fueled) fixing it. The correct matches will be sent out ASAP—right after I double, triple, and quadruple check that this algorithm doesn’t throw another tantrum. Thanks for your patience, and please don’t hunt me down! 🙏 I promise I’ll do better next time... or, at the very least, make sure the matches don’t require emergency therapy sessions. Your (struggling) Campus Cupid, Lee Heeseung, Creator of the Slightly Dysfunctional Love Algorithm™ 💘
”What happened to ‘Oh, the science is never wrong! I’m very smart, trust me, I’m King Romantic Algorithm!’” You mock in your best Heeseung impression, earning amused looks from everyone around the table—well, everyone except Heeseung.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Heeseung groans, holding up his hands defensively. Heeseung still can’t believe he’s apologizing for absolutely no reason, except for the looming fact that his hopelessly-in-love-with-you roommate is making him. “I swear, it must’ve been all the sleep deprivation. Maybe the algorithm glitched somewhere between my tenth cup of ramen and a power nap.”
Heeseung shoots a knowing side glance towards Jake without anyone noticing, and Jake looks anywhere but at the older boy, avoiding eye contact at all costs.
Jay raises an eyebrow as he chews on his sandwich, “Honestly, I’m not mad about it. I was still holding out hope for that cute boba barista.”
“Excuse me?” Grace smacks Jay’s arm without hesitation from beside him. “What’s wrong with being matched with me?”
Jay blinks at her in disbelief.
“You literally said you’d rather wrestle a bear made of thorns than go out with me.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to go out with me,” Grace mutters, crossing her arms as Jay chuckles and nudges her back.
“I don’t have time for your boba barista fantasies, Jay,” you grumble, feeling clearly annoyed over the rematch debacle.
Jake, sitting across from you, has been…well characteristically quiet, probably because he’s still trying to figure out how to comfort you without feeling a pang of guilt for being the reason you’re frustrated. But he gives it a shot anyway, turning to you with a cautious, almost-too-casual smile.
“Are you really that upset over the rematch, Y/N?” His voice gentle, almost laced with concern, you would think.
You glance up at him, instantly feeling less annoyed…for some reason. Jake’s always had this weird ability to calm you down without even trying. Maybe it was just his soft and steady demeanor that made you feel the need to match his. You take a deep breath, smoothing out the sharp edges of your mood before you speak.
“It’s not that I was desperate to be with Sunghoon,” you start, your voice softer now. “I don’t know…I guess it was just kinda exciting and meeting someone new is always fun, you know? I think I’ve just been wanting something new or different in my life.”
You trail off, and when you meet Jake's eyes again, you catch the way he's nodding along, completely absorbed in what you're saying. His attentiveness is cute, it makes something flutter in your chest—an unfamiliar warmth. You, a little curious, let the feeling linger, before quickly brushing it aside.
But Jake? He feels that warmth too, though for him, it’s coupled with a twinge of jealousy. He's bothered. The thought of you seeking something ‘new’ with someone else twists in his chest, but he hides it with a smile, determined not to let you see how much it bothers him.
“Well,” Jake begins, voice light but with a subtle undertone of something more you pick up on and you wonder what it is. “Maybe it’s a good thing. The rematch, I mean. It’s like a second chance. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe Sunghoon’s secretly a serial heartbreaker…or into collecting voodoo dolls or something.”
You laugh, his humor breaking through any of your remaining frustration, and you raise an eyebrow at him.
“You sound awfully optimistic about this,” you tease, trying to figure out if there’s something more to his words. Was there? Probably not, you deduce. Definitely not.
Jake’s heart stutters, wondering if he's been caught red-handed. He fights the urge to panic and instead flashes you a cheesy grin and that somehow makes your stomach flip, though you can't exactly figure out why.
“Just saying, it could be a blessing in disguise,” he shrugs, his tone playful but sincere. “Maybe this time, it’ll match you with someone who’s right in front of you.”
Your breath catches as you take in his words quite literally. He’s just speaking metaphorically, right? But when your eyes meet again, there’s something in the way he looks at you—something that makes your heart skip a beat.
For a moment, you don't know why, but you feel vulnerable in front of Jake. Jake, of all people. He’s always been sweet, always been there, but right now, the way he’s looking at you feels different. Maybe it's the way he's talking to you like you two are the only people at the table, like everything you're saying is heard and understood, and you feel seen amidst all the chaos. Like he’s seeing you in a way you’ve never quite noticed before. And it sends warmth radiating through you, mixing with the confusion already swirling in your chest.
You blink and shake your head, you're overthinking. Jake is just being Jake—kind, supportive, and always ready to listen. That's just who he is. That's all.
So why can you still feel his lingering gaze on you even as the conversation moves on? And why does it make you feel...something? Shy? Nervous? Excited? Maybe all of the above.
Grace suddenly claps her hands together, breaking you out of your confusion, “Well, I think this whole rematch thing is the universe giving me a shot at a real love story,” she announces dramatically.
“Right, because nothing says ‘romance’ like a computer’s ruling,” Jay rolls his eyes.
Grace glares at him, “Maybe it’ll match me with someone who’s not emotionally unavailable for once.”
You laugh at your friends' banter, but your thoughts are still stuck on Jake's words, and all you can think about is the possibility of getting paired with Jake. You feel a fluttering sensation at that thought, and as if you were afraid he could read your mind, you try to sneak a glance at him, only to catch him looking at you at the exact same moment. His eyes quickly dart away, making the interaction short enough to avoid any awkwardness but still long enough for you to catch the same gentle, almost longing expression, on his soft features.
Your heart skips.
Feeling exposed, you clear your throat, trying to break the silent tension you’re sure only you’re feeling.
“Anyway,” you say, forcing a smile, “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.”
Your friends all nod and murmur in agreement at your statement, but your heart lingers on Jake. You can't help but glance back at him, your mind refusing to shake this unfamiliar feeling of...something—maybe the slightest flicker of hope—that you match with him.
And maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't mind that at all.
And for Jake, well, there’s only one version of ‘everything working out at the end,’ and it's simple, really—it's you. And for him, that’s the only ending that matters.
Maybe Jake bit off a little more than he could chew this time.
Sure, we’ve established that Jake’s inner simp—Jake Simp—is willing to do just about anything to end up with you. Training for a triathlon? Done. Cat-sitting twelve cats? He’d do it, no questions asked. So, naturally, promising Grace a week’s worth of iced coffee deliveries, finishing her physics poster, funding Heeseung’s meals and doing all his laundry for a month didn’t seem that bad in comparison.
That was, until now—when he's speed-walking across campus, juggling an iced matcha latte (with two pumps of chai, because of course), a dry-cleaning bag with freshly ironed clothes, and a trifold poster board tucked precariously under his armpit, praying the drink doesn’t melt before he gets it to Grace.
Jake hastily rounds the corner by the library, barely keeping his balance when—
Smack.
Jake runs straight into someone, thankfully only sacrificing a few drops of the matcha as he stumbles, trying to keep everything from falling out of his grasp.
"Woah! Easy," an oddly familiar voice says, and when Jake looks up, he's met with your adorably amused expression. Of course it's you.
“Y/N!” Jake nearly chokes on his words, trying to steady himself. “I—uh, didn’t see you there.”
You laugh softly, your eyes flicking over everything in Jake's hold.
"Is that a...physics project? I thought you took that class last year."
Jake stalls, trying to recollect himself and somehow explain why he's running around campus with a trifold poster, (at this point, half-melted) iced matcha, and someone's else's dry cleaning, all over trying to end up with you. Because, yeah, there's really no way to explain that. But then...wait.
"I did take it last year," he says, eyebrows raised. "You remember that?"
Now you're the one seemingly flustered, as if you're the one that just ran into their crush, sweating beads over running a million of chores.
You think your face is as red as a beet right now, well, at least it feels like it.
"Uh—yeah, I guess I did," you give a sheepish smile, nervously tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and Jake thinks he's about to faint from lightheadedness right then and there.
"Plus, you were always talking about how the professor went on tangents about wormholes...but you would secretly enjoy them because you always swore you could survive getting sucked through one, remember?"
Jake’s heart skips at the way you're ever so casually recalling these details that even he didn't remember. He doesn't know which one takes the leaderboard, you calling him ‘Jakey’, or this.
"Wow," he breathes, unable to hide the smile spreading across his face. "I didn't think you’d notice all that. I thought I was just rambling half the time and the group would nod along to just be nice."
You shrug, looking up at the boy in front of you while trying to play it off casually, even though your heart feels like it's about to break free from your ribcage.
"Well, I guess I’ve just always remembered the stuff you talked about. It’s...kind of hard not to when you go on about it with that excited look on your face,” you quickly clamp your mouth and your eyes widen as you realize what you just said out loud. Yup, there goes your heart—broken out of your ribcage, running wild and free.
Jake blinks, mentally putting this interaction at the top of the leaderboard, for sure.
"Wait, seriously?" Jake's eyes widen as he asks with his voice softer now, as if he's not entirely sure he heard you right. He shifts the matcha latte in his hand, trying to ignore the way his heart just did a little flip at your words.
You're mentally kicking yourself for blurting that out loud, what is going on with you? You swallow hard, feeling trapped in the moment.
"I mean...yeah," you admit, your voice even quieter now, feeling the gaze of his eyes on you, as you fiddle with the strap of your bag.
"You get really into the stuff you care about, and it's kind of cute. In, like, a wholesome way," you quickly add, feeling even more heat suddenly rush to your face, "it's just...you know...cute."
You trail off as you realize you said cute twice but Jake's smile just widens even more at that, and suddenly the mountain of things he's carrying feels a teensy bit lighter.
"So you think it's cute, huh?"
Jake feels a newfound confidence, noticing how you're not your typical outspoken self, in fact, you almost look nervous around him. This is his delusion speaking right? Have you always been paying attention to him this way and he's been too blindsided to see it? Regardless, for whatever reason—delusion or not—in this moment, Jake feels a little more out of his comfort zone in front of you.
"I didn't say that! I said wholesome!" Your eyes dart up to meet his as you protest, but the flustered look on your face betrays you and Jake thinks he could definitely soar to the moon right now.
Jake, still smiling, shifts his weight, and without thinking, takes a small step closer.
"You totally did," his eyes peer teasingly at you and he doesn't know how he's still breathing, let alone talking, with you looking up at him, like that. "Guess I’ll have to keep talking about stuff I care about, then."
You try to muster something witty back, but the way he’s looking at you—and the way he’s talking to you—is making it so incredibly hard to focus on anything but the fluttering in your chest.
"Yeah I guess you do," you smile back at him, noticing the lack of space between you two all of the sudden. You've never seen this side of Jake, and you can't help but enjoy it...the banter, the flirty glances, the way he makes you feel—
You clear your throat, snapping yourself back into reality, "So..what is with the project poster and…dry-cleaning?" Your eyes go back to everything he's juggling to avoid further eye contact, grateful for the distraction to give you a chance to catch your breath and regain your composure.
"Oh, this? You know, just doing my daily round of favors for Grace, Heeseung, and the rest of the world apparently," Jake chuckles, more so to himself, at how ridiculous of a situation he really did get himself in.
You smile, your heart warming at the thought. Jake's always been this way—kind, thoughtful, always helping the people he cares about. Well…in reality, he technically is doing this for someone he cares about…you.
"Damn, guess I should ask for the same treatment then, huh?" You tilt your head, lips quirking into a grin, eyes lit up.
Typically, that look on your face would have Jake in absolute shambles and he'd probably want to curl up into a turtle shell for life. But whatever cosmic forces that orchestrated this recent shift between you two had given him a much-needed confidence boost.
"I mean, I'd totally do that for you, if that's what you're asking," he leans in with another playful smirk on his face, "anytime."
Your breath catches, the butterflies in your stomach fighting to escape.
"Oh? Even if it means running across campus with an iced latte in one hand and my dirty laundry in the other?"
“For you? Yeah. No problem.”
For a second, you don’t respond, just watching him with a curious, unreadable expression that always drives him crazy. Now, Jake feels like he might actually pass out from how intensely you’re looking at him.
Finally, you smile. “I'll hold you to that, Jakey.”
Jake freezes. It's like you know exactly what that name does to him.
You giggle, clearly amused at the way he stumbles over a reaction and quickly add, "Anyway, I'll leave you to it! Grace is gonna kill you for bringing over a watered-down matcha. But I'll see you later tonight for movie night, right?"
Jake suddenly remembers the long-awaited (it was planned one day ago) movie night the group set for tonight, and he gets excited at the idea of seeing you again in just a few hours.
"Definitely, I'll save you a seat?"
"Mmm," you nod as you start walking away slowly, still facing him, basking in the way he's watching you. "See you later, Jakey!"
You finally turn and stroll away, thankful your back is to him now so he can't see how your smile is growing wider than you thought was possible.
On the other hand, Jake blinks, eyes on you as you walk away, still trying to process what just happened. Confidence or not, you always have the last word. But that doesn’t matter.
One thing is for sure—Jake Simp is in full throttle, and he’d happily run across campus a hundred times, coffee and laundry in hand, if it means hearing you say his name like that again.
Not that Jake’s been counting down the hours until movie night or anything—no, definitely not—but it’s been approximately five hours since he ran into you, and—if he’s being honest—about four and a half of those hours were spent thinking about how he’ll be seeing you again. The other 30 minutes? Well, they were spent explaining to Grace why her matcha was delivered watered down, which was a scolding he’d rather forget about.
Needless to say, he's even more excited than usual to see you tonight, for no particular reason. But after your last interaction, Jake feels closer to you than ever before. There’s a tiny flicker of hope, but he keeps reminding himself not to get ahead of himself. After all, he’s only recently mastered the art of saying more than one sentence to you without hyperventilating. Baby steps.
Jake’s eyes scan the coffee table of the living room, mentally checking off all the important snacks (important as in your favorite ones, of course).
"What vibe are we going for tonight?" Heeseung calls out from the couch, as he flips through the Netflix homepage on their TV. "Horror or coming-of-age rom-com?"
Jake grimaces, "Please, no horror. I’m still having nightmares from the last movie night." He shudders at the memory.
"Dude," Jay strolls into the room, chuckling, "Coraline is a kids movie!"
"A scary kids movie! That thing should be rated at least PG-13!" Jake protests, while still scanning the room to ensure everything’s perfectly set up. Snacks, check. Drinks, check. Your favorite blanket neatly folded on the seat he’s reserved for you? Check.
As if right on cue, a knock sounds at the door, and Jay casually starts, "I got it!"—but because Jake's Spidey senses (aka Y/N-senses) are sure it's you at the door, he's already sprinting and launches to the door, parkour style, slightly nudging Jay out the way and making it to the door before him—all in a second's time.
"It’s okay! I got it!" Jake blurts, a bit too breathlessly, leaving Jay with a mixed look of disbelief that quickly morphs into amused pity.
"Oookayyy," Jay drawls, turning to Heeseung with a knowing look, clearly entertained by their roommate. "He’s officially lost it."
Jake takes a breath and quickly runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to not look disheveled, before pulling open the door.
"Y/N. Hi."
"Jake. Hi," you smile up at him, dressed in what you would call your "comfy movie night outfit"—but what Jake would call Met Gala worthy. He's pretty sure you could wear a paper bag and it'd be Met Gala worthy.
For a split second, Jake’s brain malfunctions as he stalls at the door. The moment he’s been daydreaming about in his head for the last five hours is happening, but now that it’s here, he has zero idea what to do. Think, Jake, think!
"Congrats, you’re the first one here!" he blurts, mentally face-palming as soon as the words leave his mouth.
You giggle as you step inside, "Well, that would make sense, since you guys live here, and Grace is always late to everything. But thanks, Jakey, I’ll take it."
You turn to grin at the boy once more, and he's officially a goner. RIP.
"Oh—right," Jake stifles a sheepish grin as he rubs the back of his neck, shooting Jay and Heeseung a death glare as they're both silently roasting him with their eyes.
"Hi boys," you greet the others as you step into the living room, eyes immediately going to the table lined with snacks. "Wow, you guys really went all out!"
"Hiii Y/N," Heeseung and Jay say in perfect unison. You give them a raised brow, but shrug it off, too used to their weird behavior to question it.
"Sooo, which seat is mine?" You excitedly turn back to Jake, scanning the available spots.
"That one! Best seat in the house, guaranteed,” Jake practically beams, heart pitter-pattering as he's pointing to the cushion right next to his favorite spot.
"Oh really? What makes it the best?" you ask, plopping down and curling up instantly into the cushion, which makes Jake wonder how much more his heart can truly take before it spontaneously implodes on itself.
“It comes with your favorite blanket and easy access to the snacks. All your favorites, by the way," Jake slides into the seat beside you, keeping his voice cool.
He’s very proud of himself for that one. After all, he did scour three different stores near campus for watermelon Sour Patch and strawberry Pocky.
Jay butts in, grinning like the devil himself, "And the fact that you’re sitting next to Jake makes it extra special, right, Jakey?"
"Oh? Is that so?" You tilt your head, feigning innocence, although you've always known that the middle seat cushion has always been Jake's sacred seat on movie nights.
"He’s...joking. I can sit anywhere! I just, uh... think this seat happens to have the best angle of the TV." Jake’s heart is definitely about to combust.
Smooth, Jake. Real smooth.
You smile and place a hand on Jake’s knee, patting it lightly, "I trust you, Jake. I’m already enjoying this seat more than you know."
Jake swallows thickly, his body going rigid under your warm hand briefly against his skin. He thinks if he tries to say anything else, it'll come out sounding like a goose giving birth to fifty eggs.
From Jake’s other side, Heeseung chimes in, obliviously saving his hopeless roommate, "So, Y/N—horror or rom-com tonight?"
"Horror!" you gasp excitedly, eyes widening immediately, "I need those jump scares to make me feel something, you know?"
Jay breaks out in a coughing fit, nearly choking on his sudden laughter, while Jake shoots him yet another death glare.
“Y/N, I completely agree with you! Any objections anyone?” Jay announces almost animatedly, leaving you slightly confused but, once again, unfazed by your friend’s weirdness.
"Nope, none from me. Jake?" Heeseung raises a brow, also trying not to laugh himself.
Jake looks at you, seeing how excited you are, and yep—he’s screwed. More nightmares for him, it seems.
"Nope! I’m...totally down for horror."
You lightly clap your hands in excitement, making Jake realize that, yeah, the nightmares are probably worth it if it means seeing you this happy.
As you reach over for a snack, Jay mouths the word "SIMP" at Jake. Jake responds with an eye roll, but yeah, Jay’s not wrong.
~~~
The movie is only 20 minutes in when you frown looking at the coffee table, “How is it possible we’re out of snacks already?”
“I blame Grace for showing up late. I got hungry, okay?” Jay says, pointing at her. Grace responds by smacking the back of his head. “Ouch.”
Heeseung pauses the movie. “Vending machine run, anyone?”
“Jake and Y/N, go! Perfect candidates,” Jay suggests without skipping a beat, rubbing the back of his head from the provoked attack.
You raise an eyebrow at Jake, feeling your heart race a little faster. You're trying to play it cool but the thought of having a moment alone with him sends a buzz through you. It's the kind of opportunity you didn't realize you were hoping for—wait, were you? You have no idea. But what you do know is that being around Jake has felt different lately, in a good way. There's something about his presence that makes you want to be near him more and more. It's confusing, whatever this is, but all you can admit to yourself right now is, feelings or not, you want this time with him.
Jake opens his mouth to respond, but doesn’t manage to get anything out before you quickly grab his hand and pull him toward the door.
“Okay! Be back in a few!” you call back to the group, trying to sound casual.
Inside, you’re freaking out just a little. Or a lot. Definitely a lot. The feeling of his hand in yours is warm, almost comforting, but there’s...something that you swear is there. It just feels right.
Jake follows behind you down the hall, and you can feel the warmth of his hand lingering even as you let go. You sneak a glance at him, and for some reason, he just seems... different. You've always found Jake cute. That's not news. But this—this is different, this isn't your typical ‘oh he's cute’ feeling...but you can't pinpoint what it is either. You shake the thought off.
"Soo…" you start, looking up at him from the corner of your eye. Your heart pounds a little louder, and you hope he can’t hear it over the sound of your sneakers hitting the hallway tiles. He’s just so cute standing there, slightly awkward, but making it work. How can someone look this adorable just existing?
“Sorry for dragging you out like that. I hope you don't mind,” you finally say as you both step into the elevator. You try to sound casual, but the slight bubble in your throat betrays you.
“Oh—no, not at all. I totally wanted to...go with you...” Jake says, and then he quickly adds, “I mean, you're practically saving me from all the jump scares.”
You laugh softly after a beat of silence, raising an eyebrow as the elevator doors open. “I thought you said you didn’t mind horror movies?”
“Well,” Jake hesitates, but then says quietly, “how could I say no when you were that excited to watch one?”
You blink, feeling your breath catch for a second. Did he just—? You look up at him, searching his expression, but all you see is that sweet smile of his, and your mind goes a little fuzzy, trying to piece together what that meant.
You roll the thought around for a second before giving him a playful nudge.
“Wow, who knew Jake Sim was such a people pleaser?” You’re teasing, but there’s an unfamiliar giddiness in your chest when he simply grins at you in response.
As you step into the vending machine room, a soft hum fills the space. You glance at Jake again—he's studying the snack options with a small, focused frown, and you can’t help but smile. Why is everything he does so...frustratedly cute?
Eventually, he sighs, giving up on his snack mission, and leans casually against the machine. Meanwhile, you're slightly bent down, continuing to mentally analyze the shelves, but you're hyper-aware of the fact that his eyes are definitely on you. And because you can feel the heat from his gaze, you swear you're turning ten shades redder by the second.
“Are you gonna help me pick out snacks, or are you just gonna keep staring at me like that?” you ask, trying to sound casual, even though your brain's in overdrive. Your eyes stay glued to the snack shelves, anything to avoid the tension of locking eyes with him right now.
“Hmmm,” you can hear the teasing smirk in his voice, and it sends a spark through you. “Nah, you can handle the snacks. I’m perfectly okay where I am.”
You roll your eyes playfully, but your pulse quickens. Punching in the numbers for a random snack, you slide a dollar into the machine, stalling a little before you finally stand up and look up at him. “Oh, are you?”
You don’t expect him to be this close when you're fully standing up. The space between you shrinks, and suddenly, you can almost feel his breath on your skin. Your pulse thumps loudly in your ears as you try your best to swallow the lump in your throat.
“Still perfectly okay?” The words come out softer than you intended, almost a whisper. You’re holding his gaze now, neither of you wanting to break it. You swear you could probably hear a pin drop if it wasn't for your loud heartbeat right now.
Jake swallows, and for a split second, you see him hesitate. His eyes flicker down to your lips, and that simple, unintentional move makes your breath hitch. You could lean in right now—close the gap between you—and you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing. Maybe you're hoping he's thinking the same thing.
But then Jake chuckles, breaking the silence with his soft laugh that makes your stomach flip for maybe the hundredth time tonight.
“I, uh… yeah, I’m still okay,” he says, though his voice exposes just how not okay he actually is. You see the faintest blush creeping up his neck, and it’s endearing—so much so that you almost forget you were nervous too.
You swear you can sense him shuffle just a little bit closer and you're subconsciously wanting to lean into the feeling...
Plop!
The sound of the bag of chips landing at the bottom of the machine breaks whatever moment you thought was forming between you two.
You blink. Jake blinks.
For a split second, the two of you just stare at each other, wide-eyed, before Jake is the first to snap out of it. His hand quickly goes to rake through his hair, his eyes darting anywhere but yours, and the flush on his cheeks is unmistakable. It almost matches the heat you feel creeping up your own face.
You can’t tell if you’re more relieved or disappointed that the moment broke so abruptly. You can't tell anything at this point, if you're being honest.
“Uh—um,” you clear your throat, reaching for the snack like it’s the most important thing in the world. “I hope you like sour cream and onion chips!”
You hold up the bag with a nervous laugh, trying to shake off the tension in the air. Jake just gives you this soft, searching smile, like he's trying to figure out what just happened—or maybe he's wondering if you felt it too.
The way his eyes are so gentle, so open, makes your stomach flutter, and because you think you might actually crumble if he keeps looking at you like that for a second longer, you break eye contact to immediately turn back to the vending machine, hoping the heat in your face isn’t as obvious as it feels.
“What other snacks do you think they’d like?” you hum, trying to sound casual, but inside you’re mentally screaming at yourself for not just going for it earlier. Great going, Y/N.
From the corner of your eye, you catch Jake letting out a small exhale before he chuckles softly.
“Honestly, as long as it has sugar, I think everyone will be happy,” he says, and you instantly feel yourself relax, his lightheartedness simmering the tension a bit.
"Hmmm... sour cream and onion and sugar. Got it," you punch in a few more random numbers into the machine, feeding it your remaining cash. "Looks like we’ve hit all the major food groups for today. Nutritionists everywhere will be so proud."
The air between you both feels a lot lighter now, but there’s still a lingering warmth under your skin—a little too flustered to fully shake it off. You wonder if Jake is feeling the same, but if he is, he seems to be handling it way better than you are. Of course he would be. Cool, calm, collected Jake. (Also ironic, isn't it?)
"Honestly, we should just unplug the machine and rob the whole thing," Jake playfully adds as you grab the last snack from the bottom slot. "You already know Jay’s gonna inhale all of these the second we walk back in."
"You’re so right. I say next time, Operation 'Y/N and Jake versus the vending machine' needs to happen,” you laugh, feeling a little more like yourself again.
"Oh, so what I'm hearing is there’s gonna be a next time?" Jake raises an eyebrow as the two of you start heading back to the elevator. "Count me in."
You instinctively roll your eyes at how annoyingly smooth he was being, but you can't help the giddy smile growing on your face as a result of his words. As you two stand side by side to each other in the elevator, there's a new quiet that's settled and it's...nice. It's not awkward, just...heavier than before. As if there's a shared secret between you—something you both know but aren't ready to speak aloud just yet. But it's there—just for the two of you to mutually share in comfortable silence.
Before you reach the apartment, you feel a light tug on your sleeve, and you stop. Looking up, you see Jake holding onto the corner of your sleeve, his expression...soft. Like, too soft. And for a moment, you swear time just stops. If he was on a mission to officially kill you, he can officially say mission accomplished.
"Y/N, I—" he hesitates, his voice quieter again, like he's about to say something serious, and your heart picks up speed again. But then he stops himself, his grip loosening.
You blink up at him, wanting him to continue so bad, but also unsure if you're ready of what might come next.
"Mmm?" you hum, almost afraid to say anything louder.
Jake bites the inside of his cheek, looking like he’s at war with himself. He finally lets go of your sleeve and gives you a small smile.
"Sorry, it’s...nothing. Just... you look really nice tonight."
The sudden, sincere comment catches you off guard, and you feel that familiar warmth rush to your face once again.
"Oh," you manage to squeak out, because apparently, that's all you're capable of in the moment as your heart is spiraling. "Thanks, Jakey."
You smile and look down at where his hand just was on your sleeve, and you almost want to reach out and grab his hand again, just to see if it'll feel as warm as it did earlier. Why do you want to reach out so bad?
Jake's eyes flicker to yours, and for a split second, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes—something vulnerable—but then, just as quickly, his gaze shifts to the apartment door behind you, and he clears his throat.
"Yeah," he says almost breathlessly. "Sorry, we should...probably go in. They probably think we got lost or something at this point."
You finally let out a breath and snap yourself back in reality from staring at him.
"Right, yeah. Wouldn’t want them sending a search party," you joke, though your brain’s still fuzzy from the million thoughts and feelings swirling around.
As Jake unlocks the door, you can’t help but wonder if whatever just happened between you two was all in your head. But it can’t be, right? That feeling had to be real... Right?
You step inside, and your friends’ commentary barely registers. It’s all background noise compared to the whirlpool of emotions screaming inside you. You sit back down on the couch, and so does Jake, in his seat next to yours.
And while the movie plays for the rest of the night, you can't seem to focus on anything but the memory of everything that's happened tonight. That and the feeling of Jake’s arm resting right up against yours.
You’re doomed.
Jake has never been more confused in his entire life, like, ever. The past few days for him have been more confusing than that one semester he took Postmodern Interpretations of the Emoji Language and actually had to write a ten-page paper on the laughing emoji (don't judge, he had to fulfill his last two elective credits somehow).
Life has been an absolute whirlwind for Jake—mainly due to the fact that his emotions have been spinning out of control. And to top it off, today’s the long-awaited rematch day.
Normally, Jake would be a complete wreck by now, bouncing his leg under the table or fidgeting with his phone, but today? Today, he's nervous in a completely different way. The kind of nerves you get when you already know what's about to happen… but after everything that’s gone down lately, he thinks there’s something more between the two of you. And it has nothing to do with Heeseung’s so-called love algorithm.
At least, he hopes there’s something between you two. Unless—oh god—he’s been totally delusional this whole time, and you’ve just been nice, and Jake’s fully lost it. Perfect, that’s exactly what he needs right now, on top of everything else. But the scariest part? In just a few moments, when the app refreshes and pairs you two together, Jake's going to have to face whatever's been simmering between you both—whether he's ready for it or not.
And as if Heeseung could read his trembling thoughts, he breaks the silence at the lunch table, "Are you guys ready?"
Grace and Jay's heads are nodding so fast for Heeseung to just push the 'send' button already, Jake thinks they look like bobbleheads. But when he glances over at you, you don't seem nearly as eager. Which is...weird. Considering how only a couple days ago, you were fired up about the rematch. But now? You look almost...conflicted?
Jake's eyes linger on you for a second longer, taking in the way you're biting your lip, clearly deep in your thoughts. He can't help but find the sight of you zoned out like that so ridiculously adorable.
"Y/N?" He nudges you gently. "You good?"
"Huh?" You blink, snapping out of your daydream. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, Just...thinking, I guess."
"You'll be fine, Y/N!" Grace chimes in, ever the optimist. "I bet you're gonna love whoever your match is!"
Well, gee, Jake really, really, hopes so. If not, the last few days will have been a very confusing rollercoaster of emotional whiplash.
"Right," Jake agrees, trying to act normal, though his voice sounds a little too tight. "Everything's going to be fine." Please, please let everything be fine.
Jake can tell you're hesitant about something—you open your mouth like you want to say something, but then just as quickly, you press your lips closed again. If Jake didn't think you were the most precious being in the world, you could say you look like a fish out of water right now.
"Hypothetically speaking," you slowly speak up, eyes flicking up to your friends. "What would you do if...let's say you started catching feelings for someone...but then the app might pair you with someone else?" You pause, swallowing hard.
"Hypothetically…of course.”
Grace raises an eyebrow. Heeseung freezes mid-bite. And Jake? Well, let's just say his heart is already running a mile into the marathon. Hypothetical? Feelings? That has to be about him, right? What were the chances?
Jay lets out a snort. "Lucky for you, in a hypothetical situation, you do absolutely nothing. Cause it's...you know, hypothetical."
"Yeah, you're right. Forget I said anything." You wave your hand, brushing it off, but Jake notices a blush growing across your face. "Okay, Hee! Let's get this over with."
Jake's mind is spinning. What could you have possibly meant by that? That had to be about him...right? Because that is all he's ever wanted, all he's been pining for. But at the same time...it's too good to be true, so Jake refuses to believe it. He can't get his hopes up—not yet.
"Okayyyy," Heeseung's still lifting an eyebrow at your odd behavior before he clears his throat, “everyone ready?”
Jay and Grace drum the table in anticipation, and Jake? Jake's pretty sure he's going to throw up.
Heeseung taps his screen, and the table collectively holds its breath. Then, all at once, everyone’s phones light up.
Grace and Jay scramble to grab their phones first and Jake thinks he's actually developing an incurable case of heart failure.
“WHAT?” Grace shrieks before she whips around to Jay with wide eyes. “I got you, AGAIN!”
Jay, unbothered, raises his hands defensively, “What can I say? It’s science, Gracey-poo.”
"Sure. Science," Grace rolls her eyes so hard it's a wonder they don't get stuck. "Like how you scientifically forgot how to text me back after last night's study sesh?"
Before Grace can verbally throttle Jay, Jake's entire focus narrows in on you, and how your phone is still face down on the table. You haven't even touched it.
The suspense is killing him, especially knowing his name is going to be on your screen. And if it's not? Well, then the end. End of fanfic. Cue the end credits.
You, on the other hand, are staring intently at the Grace v. Jay debacle, as if focusing hard enough on other people's life issues will prevent the existential crisis you're about to have. Honestly, your phone could've exploded into a million pieces next to you and you'd still be pretending to care more about anything else.
Because honestly? You couldn't care less about whoever Heeseung's magical powers paired you with—you're more focused on whatever's been going on between you and Jake. Or at least, you hope, there’s something happening between you and Jake. Unless, oh god, he's just being nice, and you've fully lost it. Please, please don't tell me I've lost it.
"Y/N! Jake! Who did you guys get?" Grace turns towards the two of you, breaking the both of you out of your respective spirals.
"Right, yeah. Um—okay. Let's see,” you let out a shaky laugh as your hands fidget in your lap before they finally reach for your phone, as Jake does the same next to you.
You take a breath, click on the daunting email notification on your screen, and finally look down.
You blink down at your phone. You squeeze your eyes to make sure they’re not deceiving you.
Match: Sim Jae-yun
Your brain is absolutely jumbled beyond saving, you seem to have forgotten how to breathe, and your stomach feels like it was just turned inside out. You don’t know what’s happening, is this what dying feels like?
You blink once. Twice. And maybe a third time just to make extra, extra sure.
Suddenly, the whole room seems to slow down, like you're watching a replay of your life recently at 0.5 speed. All the moments between you and Jake flash by: the vending machine run, the shared glances, the oddly adorable way he got flustered over you calling him 'Jakey.' But you don't have time to fully process everything because the fact is:
You’ve just been matched with Jake. Jake.
You finally look up, heart racing, and try to see if Jake's opened his notification yet, but his face is still too normal at whatever he's looking at on his phone. Or, more accurately, he's pretending to be normal, because the tips of his ears are a little too red for someone who's ‘chill’ (he's most definitely not chill, right now).
"So, uh..." Jake's voice finally comes out quiet, his gaze slowly meeting yours, and it makes you feel like you two are the only ones at this table. Scratch that, in this world. "Did you open yours?"
"Yeah,” you nod, trying to act nonchalant, “I did.”
Jake lets out a soft chuckle, the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Same here."
The way he says it—soft, like he’s addressing the shared secret between the two of you—makes the air feel warmer. Or maybe it’s just you overheating. Get it together, Y/N.
Grace, across the table, catches the tension happening in front of her, her eyes darting back and forth like she's watching a slow motion scene of a k-drama unfold in real time. Then—
“Oh my god,” she gasps loudly, before violently clapping a hand over her mouth.
Her eyes fill with excitement and just as quickly, she jumps up, grabbing both Jay and Heeseung by the back of their shirts and yanking them to their feet.
“We’re getting boba! Be right back!”
Heeseung’s brows scrunch. “Wait, what? I don’t even wan—“
“Too bad! We’re going.”
And just like that, you’re left alone with Jake next to you—and his flaming red ears that could probably power a small country.
“So…” Jake clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he finally turns to look at you.
“So..,” you softly say, your fingers tapping nervously on the edge of the table, hoping he'll say something, anything.
"So," Jake repeats for the third time, followed by an awkward chuckle. “Uh...what do we...do now?”
You blink.
“Do now?”
Jake’s eyes dart to yours, and for a second, you think he’s about to up and bolt from the table.
“I mean, like, uh...we’re…well, I don’t know, is there something to do now..? Or not do? That’s okay too! I have no idea. I’m just—wow. Sorry.”
You smile endearingly at him before breaking out into laughter as your heart does a little Olympics routine. How were you this oblivious before?
“Jake,” you say between laughs, catching your breath as you instantly feel eased by him. "It's okay. I've been thinking...I—"
You mentally high-five yourself and give yourself a pep talk for what you're about to say. Please, for the love of all things holy, don't let me be wrong about this.
"I can't stop thinking about you," you say, voice quiet, but steady. "It's like you've taken over my brain, Jake, and it's driving me crazy. And I don't know—I don't know if it's just me or if everything I've been sensing between us is real, but I think my brain might explode if I didn't tell you. Plus, I was terrified the Matchmatic would pair you with someone else and I had lost my chance."
You finally feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders, but when you look at Jake? He's gone. Eyes wide, looking like a malfunctioning robot. His mouth opens and closes, and you're 110% sure he's about to glitch out of existence right in front of you.
"Wow."
You blink. Wow? That's it? Is this a good wow or a wow-she's-crazy wow? Naturally, you think it’s the latter, so you mentally prepare yourself to fake your death and move to Norway.
But before you're about to flee the scene and start your new life as a mountain goat herder, Jake's eyes lock on yours, filled with the softest, most fond expression you've ever seen.
"Y/N, I like you. A lot. And I have for, like...forever, I think." His voice is quiet, but his shoulders are more relaxed the more he looks at you. "I didn't think you'd feel the same way. You know, because we're friends and all."
Your smile grows impossibly wide as you nudge his shoulder playfully with yours.
"Well, surprise surprise, you're wrong."
Jake chuckles, now fully facing you, his face flushed from wearing his heart on his sleeve. But for you? He thinks he’s about to stand on this lunch table and scream his feelings into a megaphone.
"So...maybe we could try out this 'more-than-friends' thing?" you suggest, finding it hard to form a coherent sentence without sounding like a fifth grader. But Jake? Jake thinks seeing you stumbling your words over talking to him, for once, is the cutest sight ever. "I mean, unless you don't want—"
"Oh, I definitely want to!" Jake practically launches himself forward, his smile so big you wish you could keep a mental image of it forever.
You laugh, suddenly feeling lighter. "Okay, then. Let's do it."
"Here's to doing it!" Jake echoes, his voice warm and soft as he moves closer to you, finding it hard to resist just simply being in your close presence. Then, his eyes widen and he clears his throat, "I mean, not like do it, do it—wait, but not saying that I wouldn't—oh god—"
Your giggles are uncontrollable once again as you watch Jake's face turn into the deepest shade of red you've ever seen. Without even thinking, you reach for his hand, seeking stability, as if he's a magnet drawing you in and you can't resist the pull of his warmth.
You finally take a breath, calming yourself down as Jake's eyes flicker down to your intertwined fingers, and his smile softens into something that makes your heart so full.
For a moment, neither of you say anything, just letting the weight of everything finally settle, your hand resting under his in between you two. Then, Jake's thumb brushes softly over your knuckles, and he looks up at you with that newfound confidence that somehow makes him even more irresistible.
“So…now what?” Jake's corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he subconsciously leans in closer than before, and this time, you know there's no way you're backing out.
A playful smile tugs at your lips as your eyes flicker between his soft brown eyes and his mouth.
“Well, I mean…you still owe me from the vending machine.”
Jake freezes. He blinks in confusion, and you're pretty sure you can hear the whirrr of his brain rebooting right in front of you.
“Oh, you mean for the snacks? How much do I owe you? I can Venmo you, or, uh, buy you more snacks?” he stammers, completely caught off guard by your random comment, especially when he thought this was the moment. But, you know...priorities, I guess?
Now you freeze, blinking at him before you let out a giggle that surprises even you. Seriously? You reach out and gently cup his adorably confused face.
"Jake, you lovable dork," you say, shaking your head, unable to stop the giggles bubbling up. "Not what I meant."
Jake doesn't even get the chance to respond (and honestly, he doesn't know if he could even form words right now, not with you so close, holding his face so gently). Before either of you even know it, you lean up and close the gap, your lips softly pressing against his.
Jake freezes for a heartbeat. Or maybe two. He's unsure if he's even still breathing (is oxygen even necessary at a time like this?). But then, instinctively, his hands find their way to your waist, and he's gently pulling you closer on the table bench, as if he's afraid to let you slip away. He's pretty sure the world hit pause, and all that existed was the softness of your touch, the sweet warmth of your lips, and the faint vanilla scent of your shampoo that's doing a great job at scrambling his brain right now.
He tries to stay cool—he really does—but his lips curve into a smile against yours, and he can't help but think, well, this is it. This is peak life. I've peaked. This? This just knocked anything else right off the leaderboard of his best life moments.
It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s everything you didn’t know you needed and everything Jake’s been dreaming about.
He's savoring every little moment, every little movement guided by you, feeling like he's on cloud infinity, before you pull away, a soft pink blush growing on your entire face.
You lean your head back slightly to look at him, the warmth of the moment still lingering between you. Jake’s eyes are wide, his cheeks flushed, but there’s a soft, almost dazed smile playing on his lips, like he’s still processing.
"W-wow," he stammers, his voice barely above a whisper as he's trying to process if he's actually alive or in a sugar-induced dream.
"Yeah," you breathe out, smiling as you gently run your thumb across his cheek, enjoying the way his face heats up even more under your touch.
"So...," you say playfully after a beat of silence, leaning in so close that you're sure you’d be kissing him all over again if it wasn’t for your self-control, "do I still get my snacks?"
Jake laughs, officially breaking the heavy tension. He drops his head on your shoulder, completely and utterly overwhelmed by the pure sensation of you, but in the best way possible.
"You can have all the snacks you want," he mumbles into your shoulder, his voice muffled but filled with so much affection that you think you might actually burst with joy. "Take my whole bank account while you're at it. Take whatever you want."
You can't help but laugh as you wrap your arms around his neck, tugging him even closer to you.
"You're ridiculous, Sim Jae-yun."
"I know," he admits, voice still muffled into your shoulder. "But I'm your ridiculous, algorithm-proven match, right?"
Jake feels your laughter from under him. "Mmmhmm, Jakey. 100% mine. Algorithm or not."
You feel his smile grow against your shoulder as your arms squeeze him tighter. The perfect moment settles and you think you could die happy right now. For the first time in days, everything feels right.
But then, Jake pulls back just slightly, still under your hold, his eyebrows furrowing like he's about to say something very important.
"Wait—" he raises his eyebrows at you.
"—does this mean you never saw me as a Roomba?"
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
epilogue:
“If your next words are that you’re Spider-Man,” you say, your head nestled in Jake’s lap as you absentmindedly watch the TV, “then congratulations, you’re officially the world’s coolest boyfriend ever.”
Jake lets out a soft laugh, his fingers gently playing with the ends of your hair. It’s movie night—a rare, private one this time, much to your friends' annoyance. No horror films tonight (thank god, because Jake still hasn’t fully recovered from the last one), but honestly, the movie has long been forgotten. The moment Jake blurted out that he had something ‘dire’ to tell you, all plotlines flew out the window.
You told him, unless it's about a sudden worldwide ramen shortage or that he's secretly a bug-themed superhero, then it could definitely wait until after the movie.
But Jake had shook his head, claiming no, it’s like…life-changing important.
Which is why you’re here now, his lap a perfect pillow, waiting for him to speak. He looks down at you, and you finally catch the serious gleam in his eyes. Oh wait, he’s actually being serious.
“No, unfortunately, I don’t have Spidey senses,” he laughs nervously, gently nudging you up until you’re sitting face to face on the couch. “I do think I’ve developed Y/N senses, though.”
“Oh? What are your Y/N senses telling you now?” you raise an eyebrow, smirking.
“Um… that you hopefully won’t be mad at me?” Jake’s voice wavers slightly, hands fiddling with yours, and your playful smile fades just a little, confusion and worry taking over your face.
“Oh. Okay. What’s up?” You straighten up, fully turning toward him, sitting crisscrossed.
Jake hesitates, looking down at your intertwined fingers, and takes a deep breath.
“Well, remember the Matchmatic thingy from a few months ago?”
“Mmhm,” you hum, studying his expression.
“So… um…I may or may not have done something…to make sure you got matched with me,” Jake’s eyes immediately squeeze shut, bracing for impact, like he’s expecting an explosion, or worse, your wrath.
There’s a beat of silence. And then—
You burst into laughter. Full-on, head-thrown-back, shoulders-shaking laughter. You drop your head back into Jake’s lap, your cackles muffled by his hoodie, while Jake sits frozen, staring at you like you’ve grown two heads.
“I—uh… I’m confused?” He stares down at you, unsure if you’re about to pull a full-on Joker moment.
“Jakey,” you coo, your laughter softening into giggles as you sit back up and cradle his cheeks. “You are so adorable. You really thought I didn’t know?”
Jake blinks.
“Wait, what?”
“I knew.” You grin, watching as his brain seems to stall for a second.
“…You knew?”
You nod, leaning back on your hands.
“Yeah, I knew. I mean, I kind of just put two and two together after we started dating. And Hee? He's a genius, no way he messed up the first way around,” you roll your eyes playfully.
“But the thing is, Jake… the algorithm didn’t make me like you. I already did.” You reach forward and tap his forehead lightly, preciously smiling at how utterly stunned he looks.
“You—wait, what?” Jake’s mind is catching up at the speed of 3G internet.
“Yeah,” you laugh again, softer this time.
He’s still staring at you, wide-eyed, like you just casually told him you're moving to the moon tomorrow. Honestly, he looks like his entire world just got flipped upside down, but in the best way possible, of course.
“So…you’re not mad?”
"Nope."
"And you still wanna be with me?"
"Yup."
"And you're not just saying that because I buy you all the snacks you want?"
"Nope."
"Oh thank god," Jake exhales dramatically, hand flying to his chest like he barely survived a life-threatening situation. He looks at you with the softest, dopiest smile that makes you feel like you're staring at a puppy in a rom-com. "Because you are, hands down, the most perfect person for me. Like, ever."
"You are so cute, Jakey," you scrunch your nose at him before leaning up to plant a quick kiss on his blushing cheek, which only makes his ears turn an even deeper shade of red.
But before you can pull away, he's already frowning playfully.
"Wait, wait—one more question."
"Mhm?"
"Cute as in 'kiss' cute or 'puppy' cute?"
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
the end! i hope you guys liked it ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
m.list here!
tagged: @climbingmandevillas @byeoltual @junhuiste-ficrec
cue all the tags now...
#enhypen x reader#enhypen jake#enhypen#enhypen fics#jake sim#enhypen jake sim#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen scenarios#enha x reader#enha imagines#enha fluff#enha scenarios#jake sim x reader#jake sim imagines#jake sim fluff#sim jake x reader#sim jake imagines#sim jake fluff#jake#sim jaeyun fluff#sim jaeyun imagines#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun#enha#jake enhypen#engene#heeseung#jay enhypen#heeseung enhypen
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my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined - Okita NA server, probably
#hey props to me for finish this experimental comic w/ grain of salt cuz I STILL DON'T GET OKITA FOR PLAYING THIS GAME SINCE RELEASE#i'm still not sure abt this style if this worked well i will create a lot of comics (esp fgo ones lol i have so many ideas)#fgo#fate grand order#fate/grand order#okita souji#majin saber#fate series#originally a redraw of a shit quality comic i did 2 yrs ago#happy gudaguda 3 y'all#rkgk#Chaldea Diaries
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any fave fox recommendations atm???
loving the hand that feeds🫶
hi thank u!! assuming 'fox' is meant to be 'fic' in which case - yes!! rubbing my evil little hands together oh i am so excited
oneshots
hackery by orphan_account - hackery!!! hackery hackery hackery. hackery <3 if u read one thing from this list PLEASE let it be hackery. under 2k words and changed me forever. picked me up and threw me against the wall and ripped out my spine and ate it. i re-read this allll the time because it is just so fucking good. dorcas/lily are at a party that gets ambushed during the first war. go fucking. read it right now.
i would kill for some company (temporarily) by lesbianregulusblack (@lesbiansiriusblack hi liv i am talking abt this again) - beautiful + dark + gorey pandalily fic where pandora is a vampire and lily is a human and it's very hard to say which one of them is more fucked up (check tags on this one - when i say dark + gorey i mean it i gasped as i read and i am a horror enthusiast!)
bibliomancy by redsnake05 - listen ok just LISTEN. yes this is irma pince/minerva mcgonagall. yes it is also irma pince/helga hufflepuff. just. LISTEN. this is one of the most unique stories i have ever read in this fandom. the writer created this whole lore where librarians are like. these otherworldly eternal beings and it follows irma pince's immortal life as she tends the hogwarts library and just. i love it. i love it so much.
completed fics
Notes on a resurrection by newleaves - ok this one is a drarry fix-it fic where unspeakable draco malfoy accidentally raises harry's dad from the dead. and harry's mum. and harry's favorite dada teacher. and--well, u get the picture. i am not kidding when i say this is one of my favorite fics EVER like ever ever ever the lovely @simmy75 recommended it to me and i am now eternally grateful to her bc it altered my brain chemicals permanently. Like. i will try not to go on and on but this is one of the most beautifully and uniquely written stories i have ever read!! it is complex and confusing and feels like trying to put a puzzle together because draco is SUCH an unreliable narrator and just!!! please go read it. even if u are not a drarry fan this fic is AMAZING
Of Memories and Milk Thievery by moonymoment (@blurryayse hi jude i already yelled at u abt how much i love this) - this is the most recent like. longer completed marauders fic that i've read and it!!! is!!!! so!!! good!!! perfect balance of angst and sweetness and jude's writing makes me run around in circles like a dog chasing its own tail. remus + sirius are exes co-parenting teddy + they are both so petty that it leads to shenanigans + confrontations + tears + a poorly-thought-out parent-trap style plot by teddy + harry.
wips
i feel a bit silly even putting this one down because if u follow me on tumblr then surely u are aware of it but! the only fanfic that i'm currently reading that i am like. actually regularly keeping up with is crimson rivers by zeppazariel (@zeppazariel hi zar my sister still needs to read the new ch but once she does she is going to agree w me about the bagel bc i am RIGHT) bc i am reading it along with my sister! hunger games jegulus au, if u aren't already reading this then u are missing out i promise u it is soooooo fun (for angst-enjoyers. for everyone else...well.)
however! i also have...18 ongoing wips that i have like. started reading but have not had time to keep up with simply because. that is so many. and life is so busy. and also ao3 doesn't send me emails even tho i'm subscribed for some reason (if anyone knows how to fix this please help meeeee)
but anyway here are some of my favorites of those that i've started for anyone looking for some wips to get into!!
Invisible String by a1phab3ts0up - dorlene pirate au!!! dorlene pirate au <3 enemies to lovers <3 dorcas and marlene are rival pirate captains who reluctantly agree to work together !!! background wolfstar and jegulus and marylily! i absolutely cannot WAIT to catch up on this
honey honey by aeoneskova (@aeoneskova) - au where marlene survives the first war and raises harry. i've only read the first chapter but this is like. at the top of my list for once i have more time to read longer fics bc the first chapter was so fucking good!!!
A Darling, A Demon, A Lamb by brightened - this one is a very dark alice/lily first war fic told from lily's pov. very very heavy so please check warnings + everything if u decide to read - i love angst and i love dark fics and this is beautifully written so i'm kind of obsessed <3 currently on hiatus but the day it comes back i will be devouring it posthaste
when it's warm again by moonymoment (@blurryayse hello again jude. i have only made it through the first two ch of this i think but rest assured that i will once again become a cat dragging dead birds to ur doorstep once i have time to sit down and finish it <3 ) - another moonymoment fic!! because nobody is doing it like jude!! mermaid remus and human sirius <3 kicking and screaming and jumping up and down and chewing on my fingers. (also this one is almost done!!! one ch to go??? wowowowowow)
#fic recs#odd mix and match here but that is what i read lol#wlw fics#jegulus#dorlene#wolfstar#drarry#pandalily#dorlily#lily/alice#what's their ship name???#someone tell me#irma pince/minerva mcgonagall#ask
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You probably get this question a lot, but how do you keep yourself motivated/engaged with art?
Has it become routine for you because of the deadlines you had at uni, or is there something that I'm missing?
I would love to get into a regular routine of improving my art, but on the rare occasion that I do create art, I get halfway through it and hate the way its working out, which demotivates me..on top of that, I have ADHD so my attention span is shocking.
Sorry if you've already answered this previously!
i actually dont know or at least remember if ive been asked this. i prolly gotten similar questions but i most likely gave generic advice back then
im not exactly sure how its become a routine. ig its either because:
its a part of being an internet artist where you have to keep making something to stay relevant
im not satisfied with what i can do so i keep experimenting
i like to see how people react
simply bc i enjoy making art
im working towards a goal. an example would be like a scenario that i thought of that i think will look cool so i do everything i can to make that scenario real
its a tug-o-war between all of those which all pull into driving me to make art
but whenever i finish something, whether big or small, its just a matter of moving on to the next thing. not that youre not allowed to linger on your work, just enough to recollect yourself after the experience and take what you learned to your next projects
I get halfway through it and hate the way its working out, which demotivates me
ohhhhh boy i experienced that a lot but i cant remember what initially made me push past this feeling. these days whenever i feel that i just think abt the pieces where i had a similar feeling, pushed past it and liked how it turned out. i just keep thinking that i might like it in the end
if something isnt working out but you still really wanna make that idea real, you can try approaching it differently. ive had artworks where it took me several iterations just to get the feel right. whats important is that youre happy with it. it sucks to keep working on something that youre dreading
like in this example: i initially wanted this to be a lineless painting but i realized it looks like shit so i just went with the style im comfortable with
another example: while i was already liking the progress on the left pic, i still wanted it to be more semi-realistic so i went fuck it, 3d tracing time
it seems counter productive to stick to your comfort zone but if youre just making art out of enjoyment, might as well
as for attention span, i have a lot of unfinished works just bc new ideas keep coming. while it does feel bad to leave countless wips, it feels worse forcing myself to finish them. the best case scenario is hyperfixating so much on an idea you finish it within your attention span. dont forget to eat, drink water and take breaks when you go on these binges
idk what else to say for now but i hope retellings of my experiences will help
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Hi dearest Saint! Hope you had a great day and sending you all 💕 I have a question and not sure how to ask u after all the recent things that happened on ur page. Forgive me I don't want to give off bad vibes, I'm just worried.
It kinda worries me these few days after an anon reader of mine slide in a message, nothing dramatic tho, but just politely asking me if I'm inspired by SN/SY. And then I also saw this Ask of yours and I get a bit more concerned. So I decided to let you know first.
I'm currently writing a jjk fic in a form of otome game styled with different endings. Similar to fate series and Mystic Messenger game with diff endings. But at the moment it started off with Gojo. In contrast to SN/SY, it's the FL that is amnesiac. And also their marriage was a marriage of convenience, consented and not arranged. I do understand that amnesia and arranged marriage genre are quite common in romance melodrama.
So, I think I understand why the anon reader send me the message. Fortunately, the reader is quite polite though, not toxic.
I read sn and sy and followed the entire journey last year. I'm not gonna lie, your writing inspired me to write again. I used to write fanfic about 8y back when I was in college and then I stopped and deleted my acct because of lack of time and work but, I still sumtimes read on Tumblr. I didn't write until last year as I was going through so many things and I found SN. Omg how you wrote it just brings back the fire in me, and I tell myself, you used to love to write,just why don't u enjoy ur old hobby again.
To be very honest, I've read so many manga/manhwa and watched kdrama/jdrama, played otome games and read light novels so I mix and match some stories from here and there, to come up with a plot for my fic and I'm worried if other readers might try to exaggerate and create a drama of a copy/plagiarism issue.
So, I want to be honest, I'm not trying to copy sn/sy, I love your touch in the fic so much I don't want to have a bad relationship with u. If you don't mind, I might want you to see if what I have here right now can cause a problem in the future, which I really want to avoid. If you have suggestions I'm open to amend, even if I have to drop this and start a new one. I really don't mind.
I'm so sorry, Saint. I know recently there's too many things going on. I don't want to add on any so that's why I come to inform you because I don't know, I just have a bad feeling if I continue on writing and then one day, baam someone just had nothing good to say and then boom drama happen. TQ for your time to read this. I can't send you a message so I send in an Ask, I'm sorry for that. You don't have to post this Ask, you can also drop me a message. Thanks Saint 😘.
that’s okay!! thanks for reaching out to me. keep writing as long as it makes you happy <3 what i just don’t particularly like is when people copy the flow of sn/sy’s plot, copy direct dialogues and quotes, and basically use my series as a template for their series (without credit and/or speaking to me abt it first).
sn/sy has lots of inspos too and i make sure to put that on the series masterlist as well as the faqs page. i guess you can do the same with whichever inspos you have for your series :)
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Mitsuba's Name isn't Sousuke
I hate tumblr. This is my third time having to retype all of this omg. Anyways, This was originally a highlight I made on instagram, but I've decided to post it on here.
MANGA SPOILERS
To start off, Mitsuba who lived and died as a human, and Mitsuba who is a supernatural are not the same person. They are separate beings and will be referred to as M1tsuba and Mit2uba respectively.
Now, M1tsuba's name is Mitsuba Sousuke. There is not doubt about that. His first name is Sousuke and his last name is Mitsuba. That is just that.
However, my take is that Mit2uba isn't "Mitsuba Sousuke" and instead, simply just "Mitsuba."
This is important because it separates their identities, while still relating them. Mit2uba is his own person, but he is still a part of M1tsuba.
Reasoning-wise: Unless M1tsuba had either told Tsukasa, or Tsukasa was able to find out through supernatural means, Mit2uba wouldn't have been aware of the name Sousuke until he figured out his mirror powers. In which by that time he would have been used to being just "Mitsuba", and taking on the name "Sousuke" would be inappropriate for a number of reasons. It would have been out of character as Mit2uba is jealous of M1tsuba, and seems to have a general distaste or guilt whenever he is seen as the other.
Even if Tsukasa had known about Mitsuba's first name, he never calls Mit2uba "Sousuke", so the reasoning still stands.
Evidence-wise: there is a lot. The reasoning is, well just reasoning, but the evidence is able to push this narrative a lot more forwards.
To start. Whenever Mit2uba introduces himself, He always does so as "Mitsuba" and never "Mitsuba Sousuke." There are many instances in which it would make more sense to refer to yourself as your full name, or even just your first name, however Mit2uba always just says "I'm Mitsuba." We even see other characters constantly introducing and referring to themselves with their first or full name, so it isn't just writing style.
exhibit one-
exhibit two-
exhibit three-
As you can see, he is constantly calling himself Mitsuba in his introductions, and inner dialogue.
The only time Mit2uba has ever been referred to as "Mitsuba Sousuke," or "Sousuke" in general was in picture perfect arc. This makes sense as in the picture perfect world, Mit2uba was trying to become M1tsuba by playing his role. In a picture perfect world, Mitsuba Sousuke would have never died.
Now onto the next evidences: Kanji.
Now I don't speak or read Japanese, however I have a surface level concept of how it works and google on my side. So take this section for what its worth, it may not be a 100% accurate, however I'm pretty sure the general information is correct.
Now as far as I'm aware, kanji is basically characters that have meaning to them based on how they're written.
Sousuke is spelled like: 惣助
and Mitsuba is spelled like: 三葉
There are alternate spellings, however this is the kanji.
In the name Sousuke as I've understood it, The first character is the one with the meaning, amd the second character is there for support.
In the following exhibit I have highlighted the characters used to construct the name Sousuke. And in the next, the kanji for Mitsuba is shown.
As you can see, Sousuke means "whole" or "all." This is in reference to Mitsuba's soul. M1tsuba is whole, until he has to pay the price for his "wish" and his soul is ripoed apart later making him "unwhole." This name would not fit with Mit2uba because Mit2uba isn't whole and instead only a part of M1tsuba.
Mitsuba just means "three" and "leaf." This is clearly in reference and foreshadowing to Mit2uba becoming school mystery number three. The name Sousuke fits more with M1tsuba and Mitsuba fits more with Mit2uba.
Now the next section is miscellaneous evidence of Mit2uba being referred to as "Mitsuba" ,or exclusively M1tsuba being referred to as "Mitsuba Sousuke."
These are not chronological.
And a side note should be: Hanako is generally referred to as "Hanako" over "Amane Yugi" and Tsukasa is sometimes referred to as "Tsukasa" over "Tsukasa Yugi." Whenever I say "everyone" I mean everyone excluding the Yugi twins, and characters without a last name.
exhibit 1-
The Hanako of the Opera Event occurred when M1tsuba had been long gone, and so we can assume that in this AU we are looking at Mit2uba.
Mitsuba's Art has his name under it, however it has the name "Mitsuba" and not "Sousuke." If you look at everyone else's art, their first name is written down, not their last. For example, Yashiro is Nene, and Minamoto is Kou and Teru. A weird exception to make, unless Mit2uba's name is just "Mitsuba", and not "Sousuke." Similar to how Amane is called "Hanako."
exhibit 2-
(mitsuba's name is second row first column)
The 77th chapter celebration character diagnosis!!
Mitsuba's name is recorded down has "Mitsuba" and not "Mitsuba Sousuke" even though, once again everyone else has been out down as "Last and First." We're clearly talking abt Mit2uba because of the image shown at the end.
exhibit 3-
The ghost hotel! This timeline also lines up to when Mit2uba existed and not M1tsuba.
As you can see the characters are referred to by first name, minus mitsuba.
exhibit 4-
In this image Tsukasa is talking abt a holiday in which you eat things with the character "う" in it. Therefore talking abt wanting to eat, Natsuhiko, Sousuke, and Kou.
During this time of post M1tsuba was already dead and Mit2uba was generally depicted in the arts.
However when talking about the "う" in Sousuke AidaIro choose to bring back M1tsuba for this art. Implying that drawing Mit2uba would have been wrong, as he isn't Sousuke, and doesn't have a "う" in his name.
exhibit 5-
This is art of M1tsuba based on the line on his scarf, and he is referred to as Mitsuba Sousuke.
However if that is not convincing enough, the text that accompanied this art included him talking about how his introduction wasn't available in sample chapters, and that if you wanted to meet him you'd have to buy the volume. This art was created in promotion for either the print or repreint of volumes 1-3, in which M1tsuba is introduced, but Mit2uba is not.
---
That is all for now :)
#jshk mitsuba#jshk#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#mit2uba#tbhk theory#jshk theories#mitsuba sousuke
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I was wondering if you could write something with a plus sized reader? It can be any of the witchers and/or Jaskier (although I think esk, lam, & jask would work best). Can be more focused on them finding the reader attractive/hot? I see lots of fics and headcannons abt plus size readers that are all about insecurities and finding the reader beautiful and aethestically pleasing. I'm plus size and I think I am beautiful, just not... attractive. looking hot and looking pretty/beautiful are different. idk if that makes sense I just want someone to think I'm hot. It can be NSFW or funny and fluffy. if you aren't comfortable writing this that's cool too. I just really like your writing. You have created a really welcoming community/page and I felt comfortable enough asking. I appreciate it so much. Thank you. 💜
A/N: I love this ask!!! Though I’m not sure I followed the prompt properly…. :( I wanted to do Lambert very badly which is part of the reason why it took so long to do but I couldn’t make it work with the prompt so I ended up doing Jaskier. I hope you liked it babe!
Warnings: no smut but Jaskier is a cheeky bastard and suggests NSFW 18+ things so if you aren’t into that please don’t read! also mentions of poor self image but Jaskier makes it better
***
You watched the tailor and seamstress murmur to each other in a language you didn’t understand. The seamstress said something, gesturing to the skirt you wore. Then she looked back at the tailor who shook his head disapprovingly.
Their eyes seemed to drill holes into you. You suddenly felt so stupid for letting Jaskier talk you into coming to this expensive shop to be professionally fitted for a dress to match his outfit for the gala in two nights.
But he was just so excited about the gala. It was the first time you’d be meeting the famed Geralt of Rivia as well as a few of Jaskier’s other friends he had met on his journeys with the witcher.
You felt saddened that he was so eager to take you to the gala. Surely you'd only make him look like a fool in front of his friends and comrades.
“Dear? Are you listening?” Jaskier placed his hand on the back of your calf as he moved around the stool you were balanced upon.
You brought your eyes down to him.
“Hm? Oh, erm, yes. Of course, I-I was.”
He frowned.
“No, you’ve got something else on your mind. What is it?”
You shook your head, smoothing out the material to your dress.
“Nothing, Jask. It’s fine.”
“Tell me, please.” He reached up to take your hand in his, brushing his thumb along your knuckles.
You kept your eyes on him for a few moments before looking in the direction of the seamstress and tailor. They no longer looked at you but they were still gesturing in your direction.
“It’s just silly, Jaskier.” You shook your head.
“You look upset, darling. It’s not silly if it’s upsetting you. Step down for a second, my sweet.” Jaskier held your hand as you stepped down from the stool. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, looking at you with furrowed brows. “Please tell me. Did something happen?”
You shook your head, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“Can you understand what they’re saying?”
“Of course.” Jaskier nodded. “They’re talking about putting ruffles in your skirt. Alma thinks a few would be a good idea to add some at the bottom but Derion is completely against the very thought of ruffles.”
You could practically feel the weight lift off of your shoulders. You almost laughed.
“Really?”
“I know. I don’t think ruffles are a good idea, but Alma is an incredibly talented seamstress. She has an eye for creating beauties. But sadly ruffles will not be happening today.” Jaskier waved the two over. “With all do respect to you, darling Alma, I think we should pass on the ruffles this time.”
“Bastard.” Alma swatted her hand in his direction.
“Let’s move on from the skirt.” Derion waved his hand dismissively. “For the bust. It’s the most important part. It will take Alma hours to bead together intricate detailing to match your doublet, Master Julian. She needs to know how you’d like it done in order to begin working.”
“Right.” Jaskier placed his hand on the small of your back. “I’m thinking a rather cheeky neckline. Perhaps an off the shoulder neckline that goes a little deeper than what’s traditionally seen.”
“Jaskier!” Your cheeks flushed as you looked at him.
“Darling, it will be absolutely fantastic! Show a bit of your chest off! Show everyone how sexy you are.”
“Jaskier.”
“It appears as though you have yet to come to an agreement on a top.” Derion spoke, looking between you two. “When my lady decides on what style of top she’d like, please do let us know. Until then, Alma, let’s continue with the skirt while they chat.”
You watched the two move towards the desk off to the side of the room.
“Jaskier–,”
“Just picture this, my love.” Jaskier cut you off, his hand leaving your back as he moved to stand in front of you. “The corset is supporting your bust, holding the girls up and putting them on display–,”
“For the entire gala to see?” You widened your eyes. “What are you trying to do? Make your friends think I’m some strumpet?”
“No! No! Of course not! I think you’d look sexy like that.” Jaskier put his hand on your hip. “And the corset will accentuate your figure–,”
“The figure I don’t have.” You turned away from him, making your way towards the chairs that sat near the windows. You were thankful the curtains were drawn. This gave you some privacy from the outside world.
“What? That’s ridiculous. You have a figure. A marvelous one at that.” Jaskier followed behind you.
“I have the same figure as an apple, Jaskier. Or a pumkin. Round and-and large and just.... There’s nothing you should be so eager to show off at the gala.” You sat down in one of the seats, your voice quivering as you fought to keep your emotions at bay.
Jaskier knelt down in front of you, his hands taking yours in his own. His touch, calloused from years of playing instruments, was warm as he gave you a squeeze.
He didn’t know what to say at first. He was upset with himself for having not noticed that you were uncomfortable earlier. He was upset with himself for making you uncomfortable.
“Love-,”
“And don’t- Jaskier, please don’t try to tell me I’m not.” You whispered, unable to meet his gaze as tears blurred your vision. “I know I am. If you deny it, it’ll be like denying that the sky is blue or that-that grass is green.”
Jaskier nodded softly, understanding your words. He let the silence sit between you for a few more moments. He reached up to wipe your cheeks. Then he moved to sit in the seat next to you, keeping your hands in his.
“You know, my favorite shade of blue is just after the sun sets.” He murmured. “It’s dark and it’s ominous, but it’s stunning to see planets begin to show even though the sun hasn’t set yet. It’s like they’re beginning to come out of hiding. And my favorite shade of green is much more specific than that. Do you remember that time we laid in the lupin field just outside of Cintra all day?”
“Of course I remember that.” You sniffled, a little smile coming to your lips. “You read and sang to me all day. It was a beautiful day.”
“That day is my favorite shade of green.” Jaskier rubbed the back of your hand. He leaned in to kiss the corner of your eye. “And that night…. That night was when I realized my favorite shade of blue, you know?”
Your heart began to race a little quicker. That evening in the lupine field had been rather romantic and intimate. It was one of your favorite memories with the bard.
Jaskier took a deep breath, looking across the room to the seamstress and tailor for a moment to make sure they were occupied with something else.
“Dear heart, you know I would make sure the dress they create makes you look nothing short of the goddess you are.”
“I-I don’t…. I don’t have that same faith, Jaskier.” You shook your head, looking away from him to one of the paintings on the wall. It was of a beautiful woman in a stunning violet dress. She was thinner than you and the dress she wore made sure to show what curves she had off.
“You don’t have faith in me?” He asked softly.
“I don’t have faith in myself. You keep saying I’m going to look sexy and that you want to put me on display-,”
“Y/N, I was only joking. I’m so sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I meant absolutely no harm by it.” Jaskier put his hand on your knee. “I just- My gods, Y/N. The very idea of you in the dress I envision. Everyone is going to be fucking staring. On second thought, perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to put you in a dress similar to that. In the off chance that I’d be able to take my eyes off of you, I’d have to fight anyone who dared to look at you.”
He wore the biggest grin on his lips and you knew he meant well by it. He really did. But your stomach churned at the thought.
“They’ll be staring because I’ll look absolutely ridiculous.” You turned your head away from him. “Ladies like me weren’t made for galas and ballgowns.”
“I happen to think you are perfect for a ballgown, my dear.” He leaned over to kiss your ear. “I know you don’t see it, but you are absolutely sexy. Hell, if I had a say in it, you wouldn’t even be wearing a gown. But there are going to be other people there and I can’t have anyone else seeing your gorgeous body.”
Your cheeks flushed.
“Can I offer you a little deal? A peace treaty?” Jaskier suggested. You looked at him, meeting his blue gaze. “They have a dress cut similar to the one I’d like to be made for you. Can you try it on for me before we make any decisions today?”
You nodded your head, letting out a little breath. You would at least try it on and let him see how ridiculous you’d look. If you proved him wrong now, maybe he’d listen to you in the future.
“Will it fit me?”
“They can make it work for you so you can at least get an idea of the style.”
“Okay.”
“Excellent.” He gave you a kiss on the temple before going across the room to Alma and Derion. He spoke to them in the language you didn’t know. It was a beautiful language. As he said the words he had the ability to make it sound otherworldly. How could one man, a human no less, make words sound angelic?
Derion and Alma left the room together. Jaskier clasped his hands behind his back, leaned forward to watch where they had disappeared. Alma returned moments later alone. In her hands she held a dress.
The dress was dark green but that was all you could tell.
“I’ll give you a moment to get dressed. Take good care of her, Alma.”
“I will. You worry about yourself, Master Julian.” Alma waved him away.
You wanted to object, to say that you could get dressed by yourself, but you knew very well you wouldn’t be able to. You didn’t want to rip the dress. The material was probably more expensive than you could afford.
“Take off your dress, darling.” Alma placed the dress over a nearby chair. “I’ll grab pins so that we can pin the dress in place.”
“Pin?” You repeated. “In place?”
“Yes, darling. It wasn’t made for your body. We need to make the dress work for your figure so we do that by manipulating the fabric with pins. Don’t worry, you won’t feel a thing.”
***
Alma called for Jaskier after the dress was situated properly on you.
You nervously moved back and forth as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other to get a better look in the mirror.
The dress fit you decently. It was loose fitting in the chest but Alma fixed that with pins. She pinned a few other spots too but they were in the back so you couldn’t see all that well.
The material was a beautiful emerald green silk with darker green embroidery around the bust. The off the shoulder neckline wasn’t terribly low in the middle where it dipped down, but it was lower cut than what you would usually wear.
“Now remember, darling. The corset will be tighter on you and be providing support.” Alma spoke as she moved around the stool you were resting on.
“My gods, Y/N! I love it!” Jaskier clapped his hands together. “Just wait until we get it in the blue to match my doublet!”
“Alma!” Derion called for Alma.
Alma excused herself, leaving you alone with Jaskier.
He moved around the stool, admiring the dress on you.
“Before I lose myself in my own thoughts, love, what do you think?” Jasier clasped his hands together and held them near his mouth.
You looked back to the mirror, shifting a little.
“I don’t…. hate it as much as I thought I would.” You admitted.
“But do you like it? Are you comfortable with the style? Be completely honest with my, darling. If you aren’t, there is no worry at all! I’ll have them make a style you are comfortable in. I want you to be comfortable first. No matter what you wear you will be absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking and I will be ripping the dress off of you come the end of the night.”
“Jaskier.” You scolded. He gave you a cheeky smile. “I do like the cut and I like the off the shoulder part, but perhaps if we could add sleeves to it?”
“Of course! Oh that would be stunning! I’ll let Alma and Derion know. Anything else you want to add or take away?”
“I don’t think so.” You looked back to the mirror. “I think I’ll like it more once it’s in the blue. I do like the green, but the blue will match your doublet for the gala. And the green makes me sort of feel like a melon.”
Jaskier frowned.
“I wish you’d stop comparing yourself to fruits.”
“Would you rather a toad? ‘Cause I look like one of those in this dark green too. A rather large toad.”
“If you are a toad, then what would that make me?” He held his hand out for you so he could assist you in stepping down from the stool.
“My pretty princess.” You giggled.
“Hmm. Well you are the sexiest toad I have ever seen.” He pulled you into his arms. “But I rather like calling you a fruit. You taste just like one-,”
“Jaskier!”
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If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(
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Hi, I've got a few questions for you if you don't mind answering them
1. How long does it take you to draw a drawing digitally? Do you have any tips on drawing digitally faster?
2. How do you shade? It looks SO good and I'm in love with your artstyle and shading 🥺
3. Are you ever gonna make a webtoon?
Sorry for bothering you, hope you're healthy, and have a nice day/night 🥰💜
sorry for taking so long to answer these!! i really had to think abt the answer so it took a while! sorry if the first one ended up being an essay
1. it tends to vary depending on how well i have the artwork planned out! the thing that tends to take the longest for me is the decision-making parts (sketch and composition, base colors, and colors again once im almost done but going “ok but...what if..”) and the rest(lineart, shading, details) is basically stuff that i can go on autopilot for. so if i already know what im gonna do and somehow stick to that, an artwork can take 3-6 hours depending on size! but most of the time it can take several days of having multiple artworks up at the same time, and making small changes in each at a time until im happy enough to move on lol. so its really hard to measure the time on those since i don’t really know if going back and forth between “lime green” and “turquoise green” for 2 days counts as me actually drawing. i also have a habit of always letting the artwork “rest” for a day inbetween steps where i dont look at it to make sure im not missing any obvious mistakes. (especially at the sketch and linework stage, if they look off the entire artwork will) looking at your art with a fresh eye is really important!
when it comes to speeding up the process i think simply drawing things often enough really is the way to go. its boring but to me the fast parts are only that bc ive done it so many times i dont have to think too much when doing it! (unless im trying something new, which i have been doing lately and oh wow we sure are Thinking in this house) also i see all my artworks as a very “step by step” routine, so i try to never go back once ive completed a step. it makes just moving forward easier. since i also have several artworks up at a time; theyre almost always at different steps in the process, so if i get stuck at or bored with say, lineart, i just go to another artwork where im doing final details and just have fun with that! it makes me feel like im always making progress somwhere. also dont be afraid to just redo something entirely if it looks off. save ur canvas and open a new one and start over, its usually way faster the second time and u keep ur previous mistakes in mind so overall? its faster than to keep adjusting the same parts of the artwork over and over and never really being happy with it, at least thats how it is for me! also also also; make your own brushes for things u already know how to draw but dont wanna do by hand 50 times over. like say, the diamonds in some of my works? theyre just a confetti esque brush with a bunch of diamonds i drew the outline of. then i color them in manually and do shinies and shades but i wont have to do linework for that at least, and its still in my “style” bc i drew them! (it also lessens the feeling of “cheating” that, i at least, tend to have at not doing everything manually) ....also get over the feeling that ur cheating when ur taking shortcuts. in this house we are Professionals who know what we are doing and there should be NO shame for achieving the same results more efficiently
2. ill post some images of my coloring process soon, i dont know if it explains things too well but it is an attempt hdhsbs
3. i cant write to save my life!! all i do is pretty drawings, which i love doing, but it would rule to someday work with others to create some form of comic or webtoon or just general story that i can illustrate!
#notmyart#anyway sorry for being long and late!!!#have a great day or night as well i appreciate ur ask!!#long post#i think thats how u tag those? for all the epic babes who dont read ily#process
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ok this is gonna be a bit long I think sjdj
so initial premise: the Taylor I'm talking about is the one that was like at her peak of exposure which imo is the red/1989/rep era and I talk about it in the terms of how I saw it all as someone who was in the go at the time and for harry I'm also talking about the gp
so I think they have a LOT of similarities:
they became really famous around the same time which was also the peak of fandom and pop culture as it used to be in the past decade
let's be honest a lot of the exposure to the go they got was due to their high profile relationships and exes
both made sure to use those relationships for exposure/popularity/selling stuff as much as possible and their music is heavy on the details about their exes
both of them were very clearly "meant to he successful" from the start (meaning a lot of money was spent in making sure that happened)
both of them were wayyyy overhyped imo like yeah I listen to both their music but like imo the praise Taylor got back then/harry gets now is overproportionate to what they actually do and this imo impacts the way they are seen because the more you hype something the more its gonna be evident/disappointing when they don't deliver
re the last point: this is highlighted even more by the fact that their most popular songs are definitely not their best ones
both are white and pretty
in the same vein as the music hype, they also get a lot of praise for "political things" and again, in both cases it showed how much that was inflated when you look at what they actually are doing/saying and both often end up looking like the usual dumb white rich people
both have been heavily shipped in gay ships and have a BIG part of their fanbase thinking they aren't straight which generated an equal and opposite reaction in normal people (I think maybe in the gp there's more people who think Harry is actually not straight but still, the shipping stuff is heavily made fun of in the gp) I mean I remember during this June when Harry Taylor (and louis) were all in the top 10 artists that were mentioned in the #pride ashtag and the comments were all like 🤦🏻♀️ skdj
Taylor back then and harry now created a lot of overexposure (they were/are literally everywhere) and that gets pretty annoying pretty soon
both of them have very annoying and loud fanbases when u see it through the gp's eyes
OK I think that's it (something is probably gonna come to my mind later sjdj) but yeah like imo based on all this harry is getting closer and closer to being seen as the way she has been seen since like 2014.
although I have to say I think Taylor realized a lot of this stuff in the past years and fixed some things a lot like the music has gotten better, the relationship is not high profile and not splashed everywhere anymore and she's also not as overexposed anymore and imo it's really working well for her! but I don't see harry getting there any time soon dkkdk
OK I hope this made some sense??
YES this makes sense. the part about them both being meant for success, i can't talk much abt taylor bc i wasn't ever invested in her (but i think someone close to her was from the music industry itself ?? this info again is from a ts post, i know nothing abt her 🧍♀️) but harry yeah 100%. like, out of 1D he was very obviously singled out for success, but like, not much happened till fine line (which is weird bc imo hs1 was a much better album). fine line was when his fandom grew soo much, god. (and i don't understand why ppl chose wms of all songs to blow up. it isn't a 'bad' song but i literally can't listen to it bc of how overhyped it is.)
and the last para yeah.....for harry rn, there's no music out. fans understand he's acting now but even that's getting overshadowed with holivia being shoved into their faces every 3 days rip. (also gonna say, a lot of his fans r here only bc of the Harry Styles™ image. [here im speaking from personal experience bc some of the 'die hard harries' i've met irl haven't even heard any songs of his outside of the popular ones- wms, adore you, sott)] and like the moment focus shifts a good part of his fanbase that's here only for the Image & not the music will vanish 😐)
LIKE, the way he's being portrayed (no actual relation to fans- his main bond w fans was during tour, he has literally no social media presence & to add to that this mess with the tickets + him not wearing masks during a pandemic etc), it'll soon become only harry lovers or harry haters, no in between. and they're gonna attach smth to him like they attached 'feminism' to miss swift 🚶🏻♀️
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ok fashion snob anon im back (i had a dinner to go to lmao)
ANYWAYS! so i think key has a good sense of his own personal style/what he likes and what works for his body, aesthetic etc BUT he seems also willing and able to work with stylists to achieve that. i think, this is a really important skill to have esp when you're a performer with creative control. imo its basically being like a creative director for your image/wardrobe, as in, you work with others to produce your vision. i would put key in the same sort of category as rihanna and bad bunny who have amaaaazing personal style but also work with stylists to achieve the aesthetics they want to embody. key's style is def less...idk maximalist? (I'm not sure what the word I want here is but lets go w that) than rihanna or bad bunny which leads me into the body of my style rant:
key favors simpler/cleaner silhouettes which he then adds interest to/puts twists on with the materials, colors, and ofc accessories. like if you look at the actual silhouettes he wears in the mv it's a lot of suits & shirt and pants but, because of the materials and pattern mixing and accessorizing its elevated. like the burgundy suit + the green gloves that you noticed! its a suit but the patent/vinyl material and the bold shirt + contrasting colors make it feel totally different! also I would point to the look from the mood sampler (which i LOVED) and the shoes in particular! they're boots that call to the look of like a saddle shoe and paired with the interesting cut of the bottom of the suit jacket and the harness it creates this super modern chic high fashion look that is like "oh the Updated Suit" that calls back to the fact that its still a well-tailored grey suit under there
also in the mv he goes for a big/emphasized shoulder, nipped in/tight at the waist in a bunch of the looks which is flattering and gives him a bold, powerful silhouette to match the mv. (and ofc the big shoulder is on trend rn!)
im especially in love with the red look and the grey suit from the mood sampler like, its on trend but high fashion and different enough to show his eye for fashion and live up to his fashionista brand. theyre such good choices! (I love all the looks tho honestly) idk I can just see his vision in all these looks so clearly! (i would talk more abt the all red look but this is too long already lmao)
also I feel like this mv and the the I feel you mv are like two sides of the same sexy retro coin (i feel you is cool tone blue and bad love is dusty red orange). retro w the tv motif done soooo well
nothing I've said here is groundbreaking whatsoever but thanks for giving me space to rant!! hope u have a good night amber (and hope that this was at least a little bit fun to read??)
❤ ❤ ❤
v cool ty! ur right he always has a classic silhouette that's helpful in like orienting urself and being able to focus on the details.
oh i did not consider comparing to the i feel u mv!
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Hello from your fantasy friend! How are you doing?
I like to write about a lot of things, but one of the main themes that comes up really often in my writing is friendship and found family (I think loving that trope so much is part of what draws me to kpop, there are so many kpop groups where the members treat each other like family). I have kind of a mix of original fiction and fanfic - I prefer to write AUs when I do fanfic though because I like to do worldbuilding and come up with backstory and stuff 😁
Kpop does seem to have an extra element of "connection" to the artist, I've definitely noticed that - it's similar to boy bands like One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer or even the Beatles, though I think with the influence of the internet, the amount that it's possible for groups to interact with fans has increased a lot (being able to open up a VLive and chat and have people around the world able to tune in is wild, if you think about it) and I guess entertainment companies realize that you get a lot more money if fans are emotionally invested on levels besides just the music. It does seem like kpop artists do a lot more extra stuff (variety shows, etc)... I feel like there are probably more factors that I don't know about but I'd be interested to learn more!
Ah yeah I feel you on the awkwardness thing 😂 for me I think I would most like to hang out with Youngbin, Zuho, and Taeyang (I would love to hang out with any of the members honestly but I think those are my top 3)
For favorite friendships/pairs... I think I still need to learn more about them before I can say anything definitive, but some of the moments I've seen with Inseong & Dawon and Chani & Youngbin have been really great so I'm gonna go with those! And I think it would be really cool to have a track with Rowoon, Taeyang, Jaeyoon, and Zuho - their voices are all so cool and I'd love to hear more of them! Dawon and Taeyang together would also be awesome ☺️
I'm in PST, but my sleep schedule is um... not the best 😅 so if you see me sending asks at 3 in the morning yes I'm awake and I shouldn't be 😔
The member in the emoji game example is Zuho, right? I read that he has a corn allergy, which really stuck in my memory because I also can't eat corn (it gives me horrible stomachaches)! Also, speaking of emojis: do you know why the SF9 members have the representative emojis they do? Some of them make sense to me, but for others I can't think of why they would choose those ones (like Inseong's, Youngbin's, Dawon's, and Hwiyoung's). Is there an explanation of them anywhere?
hi fantasy friend!! 🥰❤❤ how are you? did you sleep well?
oh that sounds so nice! i used to write more when i was younger but it seems i don't have the patience or creativity for it these days 😅
friendship and found family are always nice to read about, i do think found family is one of the best tropes out there 😆 and omg yeah a lot of kpop groups are like a little found family 🥺🥺 im a sucker for it 😂😂
when i think about it i suppose it could also apply to other celebrities as well, what with gossip columns and tabloids and stuff like that. they are celebrities bc people are interested in them and inevitably some are interested in them more personally as well. and yeah i think the internet definitely plays a big part in all of it. now you have access to your faves with just the click of a button and you get updates from them just as easily as it is to chat with your friends it's cool but also you can see how people take it for granted and start feeling entitled to getting frequent updates and interactions with their faves. (not that im totally innocent, if dawon doesn't post for a week i lose my mind skgsksh)
i think another thing that influences it is that there is always new stuff going on so in order to make sure fans don't drift or get caught up in other things, they have to make sure there's a connection that keeps them loyal (and also why they have to put out so much content constantly.)
companies are all about money so im not surprised they've capitalized off the connections people make. I definitely feel like it's more evident in kpop (but again I've only really only stanned kpop so maybe it's evident other places as well) like the whole creating a fandom name and celebrating days together and whatnot,, there's probably more but im kinda just rambling at this point so i will stop there 😂
is there anything specifically you'd want to do with them? i really want to go out to eat with them 😂😂
omg that would be such a good subunit 🤩 rowoon taeyang and jaeyoons voices would go together sooo well and i love how zuhos able to produce tracks that really suit the members' styles. i think whatever they make would be a masterpiece 😍
lol aww do you have school/work or are you on break? hopefully you'll can fix up your sleep schedule soon but if it's not ruining your day dont feel too bad about it 😂 and I can't say anything abt people being up when they're not supposed to be my schedule isn't the best either 😅
yes the member is zuho! that fact stuck with me bc i LOVE corn 😅😅 and also the whole ordeal where they were promoting a good product that had corn in it :')
ooh i remember most of them but here's a tweet that kinda explains it:
i also think hwiyoungs can mean "maknae on top" but yeah idk 🤷🏾♀️
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So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)
hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)
im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years
so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.
I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC
(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)
anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.
* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time
i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.
whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.
when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.
speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.
plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.
the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.
theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.
switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao
there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk
theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.
the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.
this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)
(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)
despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.
so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.
uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.
so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.
so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D
so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.
systems are fuckin weird
#leo chirps#leos reply#system shit#i dont think i covered EVERYTHING#and im not sure how coherent this is#but i tried! :D#Anonymous#ask#pat.txt
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question tho, like how do u picture it? do u just imagine the people in the situation or-
omgggg yes i’ve been wanting a lucy one but i just haven’t gotten around to getting one of theirs and same i’ve got like two skz ones hehe
ok ok another question lol, so i saw smth in the comments of the flare live performance and they said that sangyeop wasn’t always there or smth?? i’m not really sure but like do u know what that’s abt? bc i’m hella confused lol
okay i think it's a pattern thing? i usually think of content that i have seen of them, and how they act, how they typically respond to various things, and how they communicate through body language. for example, certain people (like jisung, minho, hyunjin, wonsang, yechan) startle really easily, so i might use a startle response in their fics, but i wouldn't be as likely to do that with others (like yeop) unless there's some reason for them to act differently than normal. if changbin was startled in one of my fics, i'd have him yell - or i might have him to the opposite, get really quiet and curl into himself, as an indication that he's not his normal self, and have another character notice how odd it is. i think i overdo that with certain people - like i frequently write yechan as being really quiet when he's sick as a contrast to his usual character. also, sometimes i have to write it out first to picture a new scenario clearly, and i might write it two different ways to see which one feels right, or naturally leads the story in the direction i want it to go, or elicits the emotion i'm aiming for
when i'm really struggling with characterization, i'll actually rewatch (or watch for the first time) content that is/might be relevant to guide me though that can be a slippery slope of course so it's a last resort. i'm actually pretty bad at imagining things from scratch which i think is why i tend towards fanfics as opposed to original works - i like having something to rely on and observe.
OH lee juhyuk!!! yes we love him, he was with lucy on superband and was their original vocalist, helped with the formation of their band and contributed to their general chaotic vibe. he's adorable and has a beautiful and super unique voice. yeop was also on superband but. well idk if you want spoilers but he didn't end up with lucy during the show itself
however juhyuk ended up returning to his original band, GIFT, after superband ended, and the other lucys went ahead and snatched up sangyeop before anyone else could get to them. iirc yeop joined them for the superband live performance tours and has been with them ever since. nanro/stove was the first song they wrote together with yeop i believe.
i've written too much already but i just feel the need to say superband (both seasons, although i still have yet to watch the second in full) is 100% worth watching for anyone who likes kbands and/or wants to know more about lucy. it's not your typical evil-editing drama-creating survival show at all, there are some sad parts by nature of eliminations and wonsang/yeop/ha hyunsang crying but it's very fun to watch overall. it's been described as a blind dating show for musicians 😂not all of the episodes are subbed and not watching the ones that aren't is understandable but all of the performances are at least worth watching. i still regularly watch wonsang's arrangement of adventure of a lifetime and my jaw is on the floor every time. it's also fun if you like multiple of the musicians on there cause pretty much everyone on the show ended up being good friends so it's very wholesome and heartwarming. for example i will never get over this interaction between yechan and hoppipolla's hong jinho ahhhh and this one 🥺
ANYWAY yeah flare originally sounded really different cause juhyuk was singing instead of yeop!!! i love both versions, tbh yeop's voice is more my style in general and i love the contrast that they have now between his and gwangil's voice, but there was a bit of a different kind of magic when juhyuk sang that song - idk if it's cause that was the first version i heard or like, his voice has a little bit of a mystical quality to it i think? yeop's version is grounding and juhyuk's is floaty. they also did snooze on superband!!!
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YOOO how about some headcanons abt ur Bleach SI?? Like their relationship w other characters, their general personality, how strong are they compared to the main cast, their bankai?? (Btw I'm LIVING for ur SI design she's very cute😳)
SOBS I’M GLAD YOU LIKE HER I’ve using her to live my dream to have pinkish hair tbh (prove to myself it would be a cute choice for to me to make one day)And OH Boi do I have a lot of stuff for her so I hope you’re ready for a wall of text!Personality
Is there anywhere term for a lil shit?
Some tropes that relate to her:
Sour outside, sad inside - Literally her goal is to be rude and distant to get people to leave her alone, especially other shinigamis who want her to fight with them
Training the gift of magic - Her focus on Kido and the spells you can learn is something she hasn’t truly dropped over the years
Sincerity mode - Shockingly sincere and kind to those she knows needs it in the moment or when she’s more willing to be honest. But often it just comes off…not sincere at all based on who she is.
No lie, she’s made of majority of sass and blunt commentary. She can be considered a negative optimist in most pleasant cases. Often coming off as an angry mother hen, she refuses to fight for the longest time, or even exit her gigai. Preferring to seal away her power and zanpakuto but not discarding it as she can still be seen using her Kido skills while in her gigai and always carrying her sword in a tiny toy looking keychain. But she will let you think what you will of her if you make assumptions of why she’s hiding even then danger arises. “It’s not my problem, think what you will of me.”
A lot of her base behavior is rooted into her past and to understand that you have to understand what happened to her 40+ years prior to the start of the series. she caused the death of someone she trusted and blamed her bankai since it was the literal cause. Cursing her powers and herself for hurting people dear to her she fled to the living world to try and clear her head. Eventually meeting Urahara and literally just losing track of time being happier there with him and his shop doing small things and painting her emotions into the canvas.
This obviously changes over the series and she becomes more “helpful” to the causes that pop up but she never truly drops her rough attitude towards most people.
Relationships
Urahara & co - Her employer of sorts
Urahara is the one who helped her when she was down and lost with herself. She’s been working for him for a long time and it shows based on their relationship. It’s both one where she threatens to beat him for acting unfavorably or slacking but also she highly respects and trusts him. One of the rare people she would stick her neck out for. She’s also learned a thing or two from him as well.
Ururu & Jinta are both troublesome and charming to her. She’s not above scolding them for acting up (Jinta especially) but tries to make sure they don’t get into troublesome/dangerous situations if she can help it. Jinta likes to act as if he’s her boss which results in a broom to the head most times.
Tsukabishi is probably the easiest for her to get along with mostly because he respects her space and she respects him. Especially considering he was the former Captain of the Kido Corps which has resulted in her pestering for input on her own Kido skills and work.
Ichigo & co - Bunch of crazy kids she sometimes associates with
Ichigo is problematic and overworks himself and his position in the universe. She’s not a fan of the hero types but really over time it just becomes concern and motherly worry for him.
Orihime is both a doll but also troublesome. She’s a sweet girl but also somewhat of a naive person and that can rub her the wrong way.
Ishida is the one she knows the least and instinctually the one she will avoid the most.
Chad is the only normal and least annoying one to her.
Majority of other shinigami - Part memories of foolish people
Rukia & Toshiro are two she finds amusing since are both small, work orientated, and ice powered, she holds some respect for them over time.
Renji is one of the more interesting people she can butt heads with in a more friendly way. She does better with people she can push a bit but knows which buttons to not press.
Yumichika & Ikkaku are sometimes paired in her mind because they are usually found together. She likes to give Ikkaku a hard time and call him names but in reality she knows he’s stronger than her and actually likes the look of his bankai. Yumichika has style that she admires but wishes he could expand that and make Ikkaku wear better things.
Hisagi & Rangiku are just more in her age bracket. While she is familiar with Hisagi thanks to the academy and didn’t mind his company they obviously lost touch. Rangiku is…a mixed bag, she prefers when the woman is more serious but it up for drinking anytime with her.
Kyoraku is her former captain and can explain why she acts how she does with Urahara when he gets a little perverted. She admires the man though, and does feel sorry for leaving as she did but wouldn’t dear admit that.
Visored - Fascinating but partly tragic group of people
Shinji is partly still a mystery and she doesn’t know much about him but he stands out to her and there is an air of curiosity. But that tends to happen when she encounters more flippant and casual people.
Hachi is the one she would aim for first due to his skill set. A hunger for more knowledge is what she desires but I’m sure she isn’t against a kinder soul in comparison to her own edge.
Arrancar - Interesting and different from what she’s used to seeing
Nel sometimes can be in the same realm of how she feels about Orihime but with more power. Her kid form isn’t something she can sometimes stand though but the adult form is also somewhat of a handful to her.
Grimmjow is a hot mess to her, or rather he makes her feel like one. He fascinates her at first but also is very aware of his immense power. She can’t tell is she’s afraid of him or not and after he “helps” get her to put up a fight she makes sure to explain she’s no where near his level and isn’t someone worth trying to first again.
Quincies - Stuck up gremlins
Fullbringers - They’re confusing to her at most and the group she never really interacted with personally too much
If you REALLY want to know about anyone specifically just ask I’m not making this a mile long kjdsfjhkdf I will most likely have an opinion in mind for them. Bleach has a lot of interesting characters but I tried to stick to ones she has interacted with.
Strength (or lack of in a lot of ways)
Strength & Health, she’s as average as you come for a shinigami (if you wanna get fandom technical her Hakuda (hand to hand) & Zanjutsu (swordsmanship) are decent but can be a bit average and nothing fancy)
But while its average, she seems far more comfortable with using staff based movements and techniques rather than a sword. This can be seen with her Shikai and other similar items such as a broom
Speed she’s pretty quick naturally so her Hoho are fairly strong (she’s more of the type to want to block and evade then straight on fight you)
Kido/Spells is where she shines though, in the academy and after she prided herself in how proficient she quickly became. And she does like testing out different combos and mixes of spells to see what she can create with that. Also her has learned to use her Kido in par with her Bankai for a higher success rate.
Zanpakuto Info (aka something that’s still being roughed out with a friendo)
Aoi Mizu (is the current name I’m leaning towards)
Normally for most of the series run, its hidden in this little toy, keychain form that she carries around. But normally its just a normal katana when its not crammed small.
The Shikai becomes a blue Halberd and released with the word “Cleanse”. She can alter the length of the staff to some degree, and there is a refreshing, watery scent to it when she swings it. To her touch the blue blades feel cool and wet.
The Bankai part is still under development but for the moment when released a certain radius around her is engulfed into an orb like space that is always raining. The purpose of the rain is to continue until the entire space is filled, effectively aiming for a timed race of air. While she’s typically fine if the water raises to a point where there’s no air you can easily escape by knocking her out as it only stays active if she is conscious or she chooses to end it. This is why she has trained to hard in Kido, she uses the different spells to try and trap to delay her opponent to get them to the point of submersion to knock them out or worse.
Basically she thinks her bankai is rather pointless thanks to her average strength and fighting skill.
BUT YEAH I hope this covers everything you wanted to know (and wasnt too much I know its really REALLY long jkdjhdgh)
#HOPE YOU LIKE LONG FREAKING POSTS#CAUSE THIS IS LONG#my doots#answered asks#self insert#sinalaking#si:bleach#ship: liquidinstinct
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