#i'm still not great at these templates but i TRIED

[nekogorogoro]

@ruby-the-kat

Since you asked~

William was originally created waaay back in 2016, for the show Wander Over Yonder... which is why he's an eyeball guy.

But I've wanted to redesign him (and the rest of my ocs from that show) for Psychonauts. I did give it a very rough attempt earlier this year:

And you can see them all posted here.

And... Oh! And after finding that post, I realized that you're the one who made the card templates.

Anyway, some quick info on him:

Born deaf

Communicates with others by reading their minds

Or communicates through his best friend/interpreter Aiden with ASL

He's a fairly happy & outgoing person who makes friends easily

Kind of joined the Psychonauts on a whim (he's quite impulsive)

Great with animals, especially small ones

[kurokawaia]

❛ HIS PRAISE ❜

Mello X Fem!Reader

WC; k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: fem reader! reader is slightly timid and shy? use of good girl, praise, praise, praiseeeeeeee, oral -> male receiving, implied cock warming in da throat, slight throat fucking? + more ?

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) you have free reign to do whatever you want plotwise but mello x fem reader with a praise kink would cure me :3 hope you’re well! - 🎀(ANON)

HONEY'S NOTE :: this was made on the template of my Giyuu oneshot, because the requests are basically the same, i hope that isn't a problem :)

m.list | death note m.list

Everybody knew you and Mello were together, and they always thought about how someone as timid, outgoing and not cruel as you are compared to Mello, managed to fall for each other. Mello will always be reserved, but he does have a way of making you feel special in soft ways. But, what you have never thought to anticipate, was how what he says to you would affect you how deeply it does.

It had started innocently enough.

You were out in the warehouse, practising your aim with your hand gun, when Mello walked by. You obviously noticed his presence, your body and mind were always on high alert, and you had a Mello detector LMA-. 

He paused, watching you with his usual eyes, but his eyes were always soft when looking at you, but then he spoke. "You're doing great," he said, in a low tone. "Your form is almost perfect."

The praise was simple, and yet a quiver ran down your spine. Your heart skipped a beat, and the heat crawled up to your neck. You tried brushing it off, focusing again on your training, but the more you thought about it, the more flustered you became.

For every time Mello praised you-whether it was your strength, your kindness, or something as silly as the way you brewed your tea-you just couldn't help it, quickening your pulse. It was in that intonation of his voice, the softening of his eyes whenever he looked at you.

At first, Mello didn't catch on, still quietly praising you as he normally would and not usually catching on to the fact that it affected you in the slightest. But soon, he started to catch on. He started to notice the flush of your cheeks, the catch of your breath, and the way you seemed almost...distracted whenever he said something kind.

It was in the evening, when you were both sitting on your shared bed when Mello decided to test the theory in his mind. You were talking of your day in a happy, light mood when he interrupted you.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

You blinked, words faltering at his sudden interrupting of your yapping. "W-what?"

Mello slightly leaned a little closer and his lips tugged upwards into a small teasing smile, a smile only you got to see. "You are amazing, the way you do everything, push yourself in this manner, it's... incredible."

Your face burned, and you bit your lip to keep it all in, but the way he looked at you, the subtle dip of his voice just that much lower was too much. The pooling heat in your stomach became too much to bear, and you shifted in your seat, aka, Mello's lap.

And it was then that Mello's smirk only widened farther at the realization that he was right, and he'd never seen you so flustered, so vulnerable, and for some reason, it made him feel a heat inside him.

"You like it when I praise you, don't you?" he asked in a voice barely over a whisper.

You couldn't find the words to respond, you only nodded, were wide-eyed, your breath coming in short, and you had shallow gasps.

Mello's eyes had turned dark as he moved in closer, his lips grazing your ear. "Good girl," he whispered.

Those words alone ran a streak of electricity down your spine, and absolutely nothing could be done to impede the tiny gasp that escaped your lips. Mello pulled back just enough to see your reaction, and at the sight of you so undone by his words, his heart pounded in his chest.

He chuckled low, his tone pleased, happy that he got that reaction from you. "I think I'm going to enjoy this," he said, lowly. "And I think you will too.

From then on, it became Mello's mission to push your limits with what he said. He would praise you at the most unlikely moments, and his voice, laced with that teasing note that only you and only you can pick up, it would send your knees jellylike every time.

You wanted him to catch you in his arms and please you until the sun came up, god, the feeling that welled inside you when he praised you was insatiable, you always craved more. Every time you were flushing or stammering that heat bubbled inside him, you were so cute and you were his.

But...it wasn't about the praise anymore, but rather the fact that he could control your reaction, and melt you with just a few well-placed words. The more he did that, the more confident he became, and that once-reserved nature gave way to a more playful, dominant side.

And you? You were completely at his mercy, unable to fight the feeling his voice, words, and presence brought you. Though that frustrated you, red in the face, squirming in your seat, you couldn't help but like it-love it.

And Mello was more than happy to give you just what you wanted as your lips were tightly wrapped around his throbbing shaft as it was nudged down your warm throat.

You were trying to take him as deep as you could without gagging on his cock, using your hand to jerk off the reminder that didn't fit into your mouth. Mello's moans grew louder before he struggled to maintain a still stature. Mello began to move your head through the tuffs of your hair, your movements not your own as you removed your hand and let him take control.

He moans, "Feel so good, you're such a good girl, taking me so well."

Your panties just became more soaked than they already were as you moaned helplessly on his cock at the praise and a breathy laugh left his throat, and it made your tummy tingle.

When you take him carelessly and put him into your mouth, tears well up in the doe's eyes. Your cunt was soaking wetter by the moment, and the whimpers coming out of his mouth made it even more likely that he would soak your pants.

Mello started moving more quickly, which made you start crying even more. When you hollowed out your cheeks, he let out a stifled sigh that made him hesitate to approach further. He pulls away from you, his load spilling into your mouth.

A groan leaves his moan as he stroked your head lovingly, "Oh, you're so good, such a good girl, good for me."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | death note m.list

[jojotichakorn]

ARCHER'S WE ARE FANCON EXPERIENCE

i promised i would share my feelings, so here they are!

first of all, while i do still maintain that the venue was too small for how beloved the series is, even with the split into two days, and i have some gripes with merch sales, the organisation was otherwise good. it was always very clear where and when you needed to go and what you needed to do, which is always great for an anxious person like me. all the explanations were in three languages too (thai, english, and chinese), so navigating the space and the benefits was easy. the little setup of things to do before the concert starts was also great - there were merch booths for all of the boys who had merch to sell (which is everyone aside from aouboom), there were photobooths with different 'we are' themed templates, there was also, of course, gasha (or, as i like to call them, gambling machines) but hey! i got some merch off of that as well, so i'm honestly not even complaining.

now, onto the actual show! it was incredible, i can hardly imagine anything that would need to be added or changed. it honoured both the series and the artists on their own in many ways.

there were multiple performances with the entire cast, including a surprise appearance of jj, tee, and pepper (or, our mattmickbeer trio) during one song, who then also stuck around to talk about their characters and favourite scenes. friendship is a huge part of the series and they did not forget that. a lot of stage backgrounds and props were an homage to the series too (the one that felt particularly thought-out to me was the background for 'truth in the eyes', which was a lush garden - a callback to the mv's concept metaphor). the couples performed both their main songs and also one cover each, which were picked out by every cp for different reasons, but all of which were great. before every main song, there was a little video with the couple's moments that encapsulated their relationship, and they were really lovely and well-done (a great way of giving the artists a second to breathe too).

i think there was also pretty much everything each of the main eight could want to do on stage. pond and aou got to dance (together as well!), winny got to rap, phuwin and satang got to sing together. at least from what they said, they were given a lot of creative liberty in terms of choosing what they want to sing and do on stage as well, so that is also lovely. all of the performances were, of course, absolutely fantastic and even exceeded my expectations in some ways.

all the little chats between performances were also wonderful and everyone (or, almost everyone) got really emotional closer to the end. we had marc crying first, talking about how much this experience means to him and thanking poon for being his first real partner, and then the floodgates just opened. poon also teared up, winny started crying because marc started crying, then he cried some more when he actually started speaking himself, then satang started crying too, they talked about how much all of this means to them and how much they mean to each other, they held hands. then dear sweet boom almost sobbed on stage and aou cried too - they were also very thankful for everything and especially each other. pond tried very hard not to cry (and succeeded by breathing out every ten seconds and twirling around the stage), talking about how happy he is that everyone loved the series and them so much, saying that the cast became like a little family, and thanking phuwin for being a great partner, and phuwin also talked about how he was afraid of having high expectations and how grateful he is to the cast and the fans. this was definitely one of those moments, which made the whole experience so much more meaningful and emotional. i also wanted to hug all of them and tell them how amazing they are 😭

the appreciation for the audience was huge throughout. pond kept putting his hand at his forehead to try to see all the fans sitting farther away, at one point aou asked for the lights to be turned on, so they could see everyone, during the last performance (which was 'we are forever'), they all came down from the stage and walked around us, waving at everyone.

after the huge three hour concert, there were still the benefits to work through, which ended up going on for five hours (until almost 2 am). the boys were all really lovely and nice throughout and i'm genuinely impressed by their ability not to let the understandable tiredness that they were all feeling interfere with their interactions with fans and each other.

so, to conclude! this was an absolutely incredible experience and i am so happy i decided to come here for the fancon (and actually managed to get the ticket). there are multiple countries they are going to next, as you know, and there will likely be more added in the future. so if you live in any of those countries, i am definitely saying you should go. and if you don't but it is within your means to go and you just weren't sure whether the fancon is worth an entire trip abroad - i am confirming that it very much is. i am confident you would not regret going.

[come-away-with-me87]

The Art of Love Chapter 12

Chapter 11 here

******

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur.  You always put on a smiling face at school as you never wanted your students to see you in any other mood...even if your heart was hurting.  Even though you were the one to break things off with Shouta, the fact of the matter was: you missed him.  A lot.  That said, you were still nervous about seeing him during drop off and pick up times at the school, but he must have made an agreement with everyone else, as you never saw him drop off or pick Eri up throughout the course of those few weeks.

You saw everyone from Mirio, to Izuku, to Hizashi, to Toshinori; but never Shouta.  One day in class, you were walking around taking a look at everyone's color wheels, and for the first time, you noticed that Eri's was on blue for sad.  Hers has consistently been on green for happy, so it was jolting for you to see this.  You pulled Eri to the side that day while everyone else was working on their art projects that you assigned, and you asked her why her color wheel was on sad.  She looked up at you with her big eyes and said, "'cause Mr. Aizawa has been sad.  He's still training me, but he has a sad look in his eyes. Why don't you come around anymore, Miss L/N?"  These words hurt you to your very core. Kids really picked up on adults' feelings, more than you realized.

"Oh, Eri..." was all you could say, voice thick with guilt.  You truly didn't know how to respond to her question, but you tried your best. "Sometimes adult things happen, and people just have to do what is best for them.  Maybe what you could try to do is be even extra happy for his sake, do you think that will help?"  She looked unsure, but she said she would try.  She then went back to her seat and continued to work on her art project with the rest of the students.  While they worked, you took this opportunity to sit down at your desk and think.  You looked over at the picture of you and Kento you had sitting there and sighed.  

What he would think of your predicament if he was still here.  You could hear him now, "you ended things with a great man because you're scared and trying to protect your heart?  That's just part of being in a new relationship, babe!"  Logically, you knew this was right, however, the other part of you was still adamant about protecting your heart; you couldn't lose someone with the way things were in the world right now.  But god, did you miss being around Shouta, kissing him, talking with him about life...

Suddenly, the bell rang.  The students all came forward and handed you their completed projects.  That day, you had them create a puzzle using a blank puzzle template you had found on the internet.  You had instructed them to decorate each puzzle piece in a way that represented them, whether it was a color, a drawing, or anything their imagination could come with.  You were really looking forward to seeing what each student came up with, and planned to look at each one after all of the students left.

As usual, all of the students left besides Eri; she was usually the last to be picked up as your school ended around the same time that the U.A. High school did.  You didn't mind at all, though; it would give more of a chance to bond with her.  You pulled out her puzzle; she primarily used bright colors for hers.  That was a good sign.  However, one of the puzzle pieces was all black with a sad face in the middle of it.  You suspected that had something to do with why she was feeling sad today.  Just as you were about to ask her, Hizashi and Toshinori came into the classroom together.  

"Mr. Mic! I thought Mirio was picking me up today?" Eri asked with a smile on her face.  "He will tomorrow, little lady. I'm taking you back to Mr. Aizawa now so Mr. All Might could have a word with Miss L/N."  What was this now?  With that, Hizashi gave you a wave and took Eri with him, leaving just you and Toshinori there.  You looked over at him as soon as they left, "how can I help you, Toshinori?"  "Well, young Y/N, please tell me to stop if I am out of place, but I came to talk about you and Shouta."  "Toshinori, I like you and respect you, but I think what happened or happens between Shouta and I is just that: between him and I," you replied back to him.  

"I respect that, but would you at least mind hearing me out?  I promise, I won't take up too much of your time."  You sat back in your chair and thought about it for a moment.  Toshinori has been nothing but kind to you during the times he's coming to pick up or drop off Eri.  Perhaps it wouldn't hurt hearing him out; what's the worst that could happen?  "Have a seat, Toshinori," you motioned to the chair across from your desk.  "Let's talk."

******

To be continued...

******

Tag list: @lili-pond ; @jaguarthecat ; @big-denki-energy ; @ivydoesit23 ; @salientseraph ; @dreamofkaty ; @simp-hub ; @bluebreadenthusiast ; @fuzzyfestcat

[friendshiptothemax]

hi i bet you get this all the time and you dont have to answer if you dont want to BUT what was your journey to being an Actual Tv Writer like? im looking into becoming a writer but im so out of my depth on how to do it

My journey to being a TV writer is incredibly regular -- it's kind of the template of how it should work. That being said not everyone goes this route, and not everyone who tries it is as lucky as I was! But it's kind of the most "basic" method.

I moved out to LA in 2011 to go to grad school. I don't think grad school is necessary for everyone -- the two biggest things I got out of it were time to write and a close group of friends, so if you can obtain that in other ways you might as well save yourself the $$. While I was in grad school, I worked a little in the industry, freelancing as a script supervisor on a number of student films, vanity projects, webseries, and commercials. I also worked at a couple of internships, where I met more people than just my classmates.

Once I graduated, I kept doing the un/underemployed thing (I read and reviewed self-published novels for rent money) until I was lucky enough to get a job as a production office production assistant on an NBC show called Aquarius. I spent a season getting lunches and running copies for the production office (which includes the accountants, art department, locations, and general office staff). I did that on two more shows before I got hired as the writer's production assistant for The Blacklist. I was still getting lunches and running copies, but for the writers! Woohoo!

After two years of that, there was an opening in the writer's room for script coordinator. The script coordinator is kind of between assistant and writer. I read every script about 1,000 times, proofreading, looking for continuity errors, and keeping up the entire writer's room, cast, and crew all on what was the most current copy of the script. It was an amazing job that was hard as fuck but I really enjoyed because I got to really get into the heads of my bosses. In my second year of that, they told me I could pitch them ideas, and I pitched an idea that became episode 618. I wrote it and it went really well, I think in part because I was so familiar with their voice. After that, they brought me on as a writer full time for season 7, and I was a writer there for the next four years.

My advice to you is twofold --

Work on your writing. I really like Pam Douglas' book "Writing the TV Drama Series." There are some good podcasts, particularly by John August and Craig Mazin, though I'm sure there are others. Read as many scripts as you can. When you have a script, enter contests to get feedback. Here is a great list of the most reputable ones, so you can get feedback and hopefully a little credit to your name if you place highly in one.

Make friends. I find that "networking events" are stupid, but HAVING a network is invaluable. Every TV job I've ever gotten is because I knew someone already working there. Move to LA and start meeting people. For me, besides my grad school classmates, it was improv classes, D&D, and working on the low-budget sets as a script supervisor (different from script coordinator, I know it's confusing), but you can find your own thing. The more friends I made in the TV assistant world, the MORE friends I made. As they say, a rising tide raises all ships, and that has been very true for me. Be nice and cool to everyone -- you never know when that construction PA you worked with on one show might be the in to your next.

Good luck!! Let me know if you have any more questions! :)

[landgraabbed]

hi cat! 🩷 so as you know i really enjoy your ts2 posts and lately i've gotten the itch to play it again! but last time i played ts2 i played it with only a few crappy cc clothes lol, so i have no idea what mods are essential mods to have in ts2 or where to get them, how to prevent saves from getting corrupted and how to build your own custom hood - stuff like that. so i wondered if you have any advice or if you knew any guides on where to even get started on this? 😭 thank you 🩷🩷🩷

vilna hiiiiiii!! first of all i am so sorry that this took me so long to reply! i got ill and it hit me harder than it should rip 😭 anyways, thank you so much as always for your kind words, you know i love your stuff so it really is appreciated 💖

it’s a long write-up and i reference a lot of guides and resources from the community from which i learned myself. i’m really grateful to this community for sharing these resources, truly! i tried to organize this as best and include as much as i could, but i'm sure there may be missing things or things left unclear. so if you have any questions feel free to message me!

i. installation

i personally use the sims 2 rpc launcher by lazyduchess, which is included in osab’s installation guide. i really like this guide, since it includes links to the full sims 2 collection, as well as indications to make the game work more nicely with modern hardware and software, such as modern graphics cards through graphics rules makers or the 4gb patch.

it also includes instructions for reshade installation (i personally use the rpc injection method).

ii. setting up a clean slate

whether you want to play in a premade neighborhood or a custom neighborhood, i recommend using a clean slate, meaning empty and/or clean neighborhoods. many functions of the game use hoods, and sometimes these aren’t actual physical hoods and instead add sims as townies or npcs. there are also “clean” versions of premade neighborhoods that fix/tweak oversights by maxis.

mind that if you want a brand new hood without maxis’ townies, you need to get an empty pleasantview template (N001) in your game’s installation folder, or disable it somehow by changing its name. you can still play in pleasantview as it will be stored in your documents neighborhoods folder, and you can use clean versions for that. you also need to get empty stealth hoods.

this all may sound a bit complicated, but simgaroop made a wonderful write-up here for different user cases depending on what you’d like to do in your game. the mods linked here are a boon!

as for making a brand new empty hood, i love getting custom terrains (which are sc4 files originally made in simcity 4). some of my faves are made by @/nimitwinklesims, but i also like finding them at modthesims. you don't need to create each type of subhood, but i do have at least one of each in bloom valley. in bloom valley i have two downtowns (one is magic town from sims 1 originally converted to sims 2 by @/voleste. the other is @/kattaty's remake of downtown, which will be deleted and replaced with a downtown i'll make myself to be more consistent with my other subhoods. it is incredible, and i think i will use some of their lots in my new downtown because they are great), i have two shopping districts. one is strangetown because i love those premades and townies; i never have sims visit or form relationships with them though, it's just so i see them around. the other is oakburg which uses acorn bend as a base, it works more or less as an expansion to bloom valley and it's where i play more often than not these days. then i have the vacation hood makeovers by @/plumbtales. the university hood was made from scratch by me.

when you create your own hood, you will either have to set up your own townies from scratch or source them from community shared townie hoods. for making townies from scratch, i recommend @/simper-fi’s guide (also recommend getting the mods linked here before you make a hood).

for townie hoods shared by other simmers, i recommend those shared by @/mikexx2 (seriously, look at all those familiar faces that ended up as spouses for gen 1 in bloom valley) and @/marvelann’s sims made townies by @/letthemplaysimscc. i also use the bon voyage locals shared by @/plumbtales. i also make my own townies from time to time or use specific downloaded sims as townies.

iii. on corruption

here’s the good news: as it turns out, corruption really isn’t an issue. april black has made an excellent video on the matter of corruption; although it is long, i recommend anyone who plays ts2 to watch it, or at the very least the final timestamp. to know what to do and what not to do.

although corruption isn’t an issue, i still consider the suite of “anti corruption” mods to be essential in order to avoid overpopulation and overall weirdness.

iv. making the game look pretty

i have linked my eye and skin genetics over here

my supernatural skins default replacements: alien - witch - vampire - plantsim - werewolf - considering switching my vampire, zombie, and werewolf defaults to this

for hair, i only use 4t2 conversions. i just like the way they look. i use @/platinumaspiration’s 4t2 defaults collection, which is a boon. for custom hairstyles, i recommend going through @/4t2clay

for clothes, i recommend going through the sims 2 defaults database. i have also linked some favorite creators for male clothes here. note that they also have female clothes. other creators i enjoy: @/mdpthatsme @kaluxsims @/jacky93sims @/goatskickin

i have a lot of makeup and “skin details” in my folder, but i have always been fond of @/lilith-sims’ things

for build/buy, that’s more difficult to pinpoint, but i again recommend @/sims4t2bb for a conversion database, and also @/veranka-downloads’s plentiful 4t2 and 3t2 conversions. some creators that feature in my folder: @/i07jeuu @/linacheries @/nonsensical-pixels @/pforestsims @/tvickiesims

custom sliders in cas: @/simnopke’s sliders, @/memento-sims’ sliders

for the ui, i use the incredible @/greatcheesecakepersona’s clean ui; i also use the mods linked here (+ @/keoni-chan’s amazing talk to me icon to replace icons), particularly the one to remove the red border in pause mode since that won’t be removed in tab camera

speaking of camera, this is the camera mod i use

i regrettably don’t recall the exact lighting mod i use (looking at them, probably cinema secrets), but i know it is one shared by @/veronaquiltingbee

to beautify my neighbor, i consider these skylines by @/lowedeus to be essential (+ optimized textures by @/celestialspritz). additionally i use the rural charm terrain and roads default replacement by @/criquettewashere in addition to most if not all of their hood decorations. i also love 3t2 hood decor conversions!

another useful resource is the gos events

please note that a lot of these creators do multiple categories of cc, so recommendations for one category may overlap with another; i know that this is just scratching the surface but i hope it helps

v. gameplay mods

i use so many mods to overhaul the gameplay so there will be some omissions. i’ll do my best to provide the most important ones (ignoring the ones previously mentioned)

economy and careers: uni part-time jobs for teens - lower wages - no 20k simoleons handout - loan jar (afaik lamaresims is working on a version to enforce regular payments) - custom bills (750%) - expensive bills for apartments (300%) - private school bill fix (in moreawesomethanyou-al.zip; charges the household 200 simoleons each school day for a child in private school) - lamare’s job options mods - 50% job promotion chance - restricted job offers - work food delivery

food & eating: basically @/jacky93sims's whole library

lifespan & health: lifespan (modified as follows, baby to elder: 3 - 7 - 14 - 21 - 91 - 7-14; i will make the adult lifespan longer still given that i play very slowly, it works as young adult and adult stages, and as is i don’t see many sims of gen 1 living to meet their grandchildren) - more dangerous fires - frequent & faster disease processing

personality: 3t2 traits project and associated mods

relationships and woohoo: acr - romantic standards - reproductive capabilities configurer - pregnant sims wear any outfit

supernatural/occults: plantsims can change hairstyle - no more leafy hair - no more werewolf hair - child lycanthropy - werewolf fangs fix - werewolf transformation 3 nights a week + no personality change vampires can’t eat food - vampire motive decay during day based on aspiration + vampire hunger goes down at night & social/fun decay- hereditary supernaturalism

travel and community lots: visit other sims - community time (+ limeyyoshi’s fix, reuploaded bc i cannot find it)

university: semester changes - pets at university - maternity for young adults - maternity outfit fixed for young adults

misc: planting overhaul - monique’s hacked computer, which i use to give sims separate bank accounts, study skills and badges online, and so on (1 - 2 - 3 - 4) - townie apartment residents - community lot skilling - engagement and wedding ring for color traits - invisible medicine cabinet (so sims can brush teeth and wash face with any mirror) - shiftable everything - midgethetree’s mods - fix subhood selection - longer seasons (7 days)

[uroboros-if]

Hello! I'm not sure if you've been asked this before but how did you make the menu part, the "new game" "load game" part, I'm super new to coding so I'm sorry if this is dumb jaja I also tried to recreate the fades but that seems even more complex 😅 thank you for creating this and I hope you have a great day!

If you mean the UI menus like the ones that save and load menus, settings, etc. that all comes from the template I'm using! While I use Vahnya's Template, I highly recommend Vahnya's Template II because it's so gorgeous and already comes with a start menu! I would've used it myself if I hadn't already gotten so far in changing mine, and would've saved me so much grief! I am so thankful for everyone who's made these templates and resources ❤️❤️

If you're not fond of these, though, I highly recommend checking out idrellegames' tutorial (Wayfarer's development blog) on how to create a start menu with the load game and new game. It's extremely detailed and will do a much better way of explaining than me, and I suspect, also a much more sophisticated way of coding it than me!

As for the fades, here's the thread I referenced in Twine, many thanks to TheMadExile! I don't want to share my code with the fading as it is incredibly inefficient and prone to errors, and I do not want to share half-baked code with anyone that I myself am not confident about. While I love my fade effect, the way I ended up doing it took many nights of just troubleshooting it and figuring a way to use it consistently. Even now, it has errors I need to fix and still mystify me. I suggest you look up guides on HTML and CSS to do it yourself!

I hope all these resources are useful, and good luck with your coding endeavors 🫂 my biggest suggestion is to first do the research, use code as reference (and attribute), try it out yourself, and ask questions!

[allthe-everything]

to all my babes out there trying to get a job, got some tips for y'all. i'm updating my resume and realised that what i do might help some people, and not everyone knows about ATS parsing. gonna be long, will add a tldr at the end

so, first things, instead of MS office, i use libreOffice as my document creator/word processor. stop giving microsoft your money - libreOffice is free and open source, and it's amazing. go get it. saves you money too and god knows we need that. but, i'm sure you can do this in publisher too, i just don't know all the buttons

onto techniques: instead of creating my resume in libreOffice's equivalent of word, i use the equivalent of microsoft's publisher - the thing meant for you to make cards and flyers and whatnot. essentially you just pick a size document, and get to throw things (pictures, text boxes, charts, whatever) onto the page where you want them. since it's geared more towards artsy things, it's a lot more flexible with formatting than word (moving images in word? just don't).

essentially, every snippet of information i put on my resume is one text box. each job with its description, each project i've worked on, etc gets its own text box. this is great in a couple ways: it means that if you want to change the formatting of your resume, you can just move around text boxes instead of fucking around with copy/paste all day. the second thing is that when a machine tries to read your resume, internally it'll read that pdf and see blocks of related information that's more precise than giant paragraphs you'd get in word. make your section titles their own text boxes (like experience, education, skills, etc) so they don't get lumped in with the real info.

i'm not gonna talk about "resume words" or "clean formatting" bc tbh i'm bad at that and i think recruiters are dumb sometimes for wanting "no templates, but only format it this one particular way". but get all your info there, arrange it how you see fit, and THEN. then we get sneaky.

in libreOffice, you can name and add descriptions to text boxes. "what!" i hear you say. "that's so weird why would anyone do that!". and i say "well, if a human is reading your resume, it doesn't matter what the text box thinks it is. but it's a machine reading your resume! you want to speak the machine's language." the name is less important than the description, in my opinion, but you can name the boxes too. what you're gonna do is select a text box, click on "format" at the top bar, then "description". and you're gonna add in the alt text box what this text box is. if it's a list of skills, write "skills". if it's education, write "education". this info won't show up visually to a human reading the doc, but it helps machines categorise the data, just a little bit better. in the description part of this, you can also try adding the key words from the job description so the machine sees them but a human really can't find it unless they really look. this isn't something i've been able to test thoroughly, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

i'm still working out all the kinks myself, and picking apart what the ATS does in terms of parsing your resume, but when i started doing this my resume was better parsed whenever i applied to jobs. which, bonus, less retyping your resume into the bullshit job app.

tldr; fuck microsoft, use libre office instead. use libre office's drawings app or ms office's publisher app for ease of use. in libre office, click text box, go to format -> description and add a description of what the text box contains. test and retest your resume in an ATS parser online to make sure the machine reads your resume correctly.

i wish this wasn't how things are, but since we're here might as well figure out hacks. if anyone else has info to add, please please do. it's rough out here.

[neithliveshere]

building my organization and productivity system part 1: school

hello interweb

this is a big project so we'll do this in parts.

first: school

I am finishing the last couple classes I need for my degree over the summer, therefore school is still an important part of my life.

Apps:

notion:

I am not a notion girlie, but I can't find an app that lets me build databases the way notion does. at least not one I like. I am a productivity app enthusiast so i've tried just about all of them and notion just works the best. Here is the template I use to keep track of my assignments. It is a mix of StudyWithAra's template and Notion's Assignment Tracker. The image above is the template I've made available for all of you! There are automations set up (the lightening icon), but I think everything is pretty self explanatory? if you have any questions don't hesitate to reach out.

edit: I have added a new section called "treats" to the database, to help motivate me to finish more of my work. I should add that this system is what I have developed while struggling to manage my chronic illnesses.

obsidian:

my one true love. i can wax poetic about why this is just a superior notetaking app, but that will be for a later post. for now, think of obsidian as a wikipedia database for all your notes. it allows for tags and backlinks and search and callouts... its amazing. love it there. uhm. a bit of a learning curve, but again a whole post on obsidian upcoming. here is a bit of an intro video for obsidian for students that I often return to. will reveal my obsidian notes in that post I'm working on.

timepage:

if you love stationery you might be familiar with Moleskine. they've built this wonder suite of productivity tools and timepage is the calendar app. I use this on my phone! its everything a calendar app should be and more. its super cute and functional and customizable. I use google calendar to create different calendars that i've color coded to correspond to different areas of my life. i use a couple different calendar apps but timepage is my school calendar. it tells me when to leave for class, how to get there, and how long i have to rest/study/eat between my classes. it shows the weather, alerts you of rain, and did i mention its cute?

things:

the adhd/depression/anxiety struggle is real. I have 101 different apps to tell me what to do and when. things is another one of those apps. one of my lovely friends purchased the mac app for me and it has been a game changer. i use things to organize my entire life, but in the screenshot above you'll see my school list. when notion is too overwhelming or i need to break down things a bit more, i use things.

youtube:

here are some youtube channels I recommend for motivation, for aesthetics, for background noise 1, 2, 3, for body doubling...

drafts:

cute little app. great for quick notes and also uses markdown so easy to copy and paste between drafts and obsidian. opens and closes quickly and syncs between your mac and phone for free! I write my speeches in here and also those last minute things your professor says after you've already put away your notebook.

anki:

just started using this because i am in desperate need for spaced repetition. i bought and set up a small remote using this video to help move through the flashcards faster. i am also terribly lazy so we definitely downloaded premade cards instead of making our own. still need to do a bit more research to be able to use this software properly, but it is good enough for now. I am supplementing this app with the flashcard app below.

brainscape:

i use this to learn whatever I am studying. recently it has been vocab and kanji, but I imagine I might add in grammar cards at some point too. if you are familiar with anki, brainscape has a similar system for "learning", meaning you rank the card after seeing the answer, deciding for yourself how well you know the material. I can also download the decks I make to use during my commute so that is super helpful. And it's free (with a subscription upgrade available)!

Supplies:

as for material supplies, you'll find some of my favorites below:

kokuyo campus semi B5 - 5 mm graph

kokuyo campus semi B5 - dotted 6 mm rule

zebra sarasa gel pen .07/.05

pentel energel .07/.05

pilot g2 .07/.05

zebra mildliners

bic mechanical pencils in .07

twsbi fountain pen medium/extra fine

platinum carbon black ink

hobonichi cousin

System:

okay so i'm not quite sure how to explain this in a way that makes sense, but i shall attempt it. the system as it stands has a few steps.

move weekly assignments and such from the syllabi to Notion

add due dates and deadlines into Calendars

move tasks to Things

plot study schedule onto Calendars

write essays using notes i wrote in Obsidian during class

study for Japanese using Brainscape and Anki for memorization

practice Kanji and writing in kokuyo campus notebooks

write scripts, quick notes, etc., using Drafts

migrate things from Drafts to Docs, Obsidian, Calendars, or Notion

commence studying using YouTube as background noise

---

that's all for now. I'm still working on the next few posts in this series, but I hope this is helpful or at the very least somewhat entertaining.

wishing y'all the best,

Neith

[edgar-allan-possum]

So! I've been wanting to watch a Godzilla movie for a while now (because I have a Godzilla art book and it feels weird not. actually knowing anything about Godzilla) but I'm not sure where to start! What are your recommendations of Godzilla movies/media?

Thanks for asking! Now, I love most of the Godzilla movies, so I'm going to do a quick rundown of each era and its tone so you can make your own decision on where to start.

EDIT: This got WAY longer than I was planning, so... Under the cut.

Now, the obvious beginning.

The original 1954 Gojira is where it all started, and most of the later movies are in continuity with it, though not always with each other. It's a haunting story about the dangers of nuclear weaponry and, outside of some outdated special effects and science, still holds up well today imo. From there the Showa series of Godzilla movies started.

Godzilla Raids Again, the immediate sequel to the original, had Godzilla fight another monster for the first time. The third movie, King Kong vs Godzilla, significantly lightened the tone and that set the template for the rest of the series. The Showa series are largely kid's movies. That doesn't mean they're bad, but the plots are fairly simple and the focus is mostly on monster brawls, often started by one of a few alien species trying to conquer the earth. The continuity of these is kind of loose, as King Ghidorah dies in Destroy All Monsters but continues to make appearances in later movies. After 1975's Terror of Mechagodzilla, there were no more movies until 1984.

Godzilla, or its American title The Return of Godzilla, ignores the majority of the Showa series in favor of being a direct sequel to the 1954 movie. For the first time since the original, Godzilla does not fight another monster and is instead the main threat. It also returned to a darker tone after the previous movies had gotten progressively goofier. The Return of Godzilla is considered to be the first movie of the Heisei series, despite not being released in the Heisei era.

The Heisei series (also called the Vs series because of how many titles have a "Godzilla vs X" scheme) has a darker tone, with Godzilla himself being more destructive and less of a superhero than the Showa version. Its monster fights are more often beam wars than brawls, due to the comparative stiffness of the new suits making that kind of action difficult. There's also a tighter continuity with returning characters between movies, the ways G-Force tries to take Godzilla down, and the way Godzilla adopts and raises a young godzillasaurus (no really!) as his son and eventual successor. It ended in 1995 with Godzilla vs Destoroyah, as Toho prepared to take a 10 year break while the American company TriStar tried out their own version of the King of the Monsters.

1998's Godzilla, directed by Roland Emmerich, was the first true reboot of the series, ignoring the 1954 original in favor of giving Godzilla a new origin as a mutated iguana. Godzilla fans generally call this version GINO, or Godzilla In Name Only, criticizing the changes to the monster's design and powers, plus making the main existential threat the thousands of Godzilla offspring lurking below New York. A Toho executive said it "took the god out of Godzilla". However, it was better received in areas that hadn't gotten the previous Godzilla movies and is still a pretty good monster flick, imo. It's just not a great version of Godzilla. There was an animated series based on this movie that was pretty good, but after plans for a sequel fell through, Toho took the reins back and produced Godzilla 2000: Millennium.

While still produced in the Heisei era, this period of Godzilla movies is called the Millennium series since it's not really part of the same series as the earlier movies. All of these movies are in continuity with the 1954 original, but the only ones in continuity with each other are Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla and Godzilla: Tokyo SOS, which are collectively called the Kiryu Saga after their version of Mechagodzilla. All the others are standalone films. These movies take a lot of influence from shonen anime and popular action films of the 90s and early 2000s. The standout here is Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (GMK), which portrays Godzilla as an undead monster possessed by the ghosts of everyone who died in the Pacific theater of WWII, bent on getting revenge on Japan for its actions in the war. This series ended with the 2004 semicentennial celebration movie Godzilla: Final Wars, after which Toho really did take that 10 year break.

In 2014, Legendary Pictures released Godzilla, the first installment in their Monsterverse series. The second true reboot of the franchise, this movie portrayed Godzilla as the last member of an ancient superspecies that protects the balance of nature. It's sort of a return to Godzilla as a superhero from the Showa era, with added destruction since there's a lot more fighting in cities instead of rocky wastelands. The Monsterverse is also notable for being a major crossover with the King Kong franchise, and is set to continue March of 2024 with Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire.

With the success of the 2014 movie, Toho decided to get back into the game and in 2016 released Shin Godzilla, directed by Hideaki Anno of Neon Genesis Evangelion fame.

Shin Godzilla portrays the titular monster as a natural disaster akin to the Fukushima incident, and is a criticism of the bureaucracy in the Japanese government that places more importance on looking in control than on actually being in control. In many ways it's a remake of the 1954 movie. It's also the first of Anno's tributes to classic tokusatsu and was followed up by Shin Ultraman and Shin Kamen Rider.

The anime trilogy, created by Gen Urobuchi, tells the story of a group of humans who left earth on a colony ship to escape Godzilla, only to find on their return that 20,000 years have passed in their absence and Godzilla has completely conquered the planet. Urobuchi's trademark nihilism is on full display here and I never finished the last movie, so I'll move along rather than continue to talk about it.

Once the Reiwa era started, Shin Godzilla and the anime trilogy were retroactively declared to be the first installments in a Reiwa series of Godzilla movies. The next installment was the TV anime Godzilla Singular Point, which tells the story of grad student Mei Kamino and the members of the Otaki Factory as they face off against the reality warping Godzilla and the hordes of monsters he's brought with him from either the future or another dimension. This one's heavy on the quantum physics.

Lastly, a new movie called Godzilla Minus One is being released this December. It takes place in the 1940s and is the first Godzilla movie to be placed earlier in the timeline than the original film.

No idea if it'll be a good jumping on point or not, but I'm excited for it!

[vividxp]

I've been trying rice cooker recipes recently as an alternative to uber eats sucking up all my money and IMO the two best recipes that I have found and tried are

and

First off, these are really easy to make with minimal prep work. Also very easy to freestyle with whatever you have in your fridge instead of having to stick to the recipe (i'm don't have edamame lying around in my fridge). These are great recipes to use up vegetables before they go bad. And doubling the recipes is easy and yields great results but of course your mileage will vary depending on how big your rice cooker is.

However, the algorithm noticed I was going back to these videos a lot and I started getting recommendations for 'viral' rice cooker recipes.

So, yesterday I tried the following

I wasn't really impressed. To be totally transparent, I did double the recipe (using the websites tools for that) and I used bone in chicken thighs.

It's not that it was bad, it's a perfectly okay meal. But this felt like more work (julienned ginger and the 23042394 cloves of garlic you have to mince) than the other two recipes for something that was just okay. IMO I was debating putting in broccoli or bell peppers and onions in the rice cooker but I decided to stick to the recipe and I regret it a bit.

I still keep my eye out for more recipes in case anything else appeals to me, but so far my conclusion is that this is one of those not-a-recipe recipes. If you follow the basic template of rice + vegetables + marinated meat and the white rice setting on your rice cooker, that's pretty much what all of these recipes are.

I did see someone put a young chicken in a rice cooker though which intrigues me, but I don't think my rice cooker is big enough for those shenanigans

[nieded]

So I painted my yoga mat... I'm including the process and credits below the cut.

So, I have been wanting a cork yoga mat for a while. Do I need one? No. Will I pick up yoga again for a month and then quit? Hopefully not, but likely yes.

Every time I get back into yoga, I start looking at cork yoga mats because they're grippier and also very very pretty. The only problem is... they are friggin' expensive.

I first was attracted to cork yoga mats because of some of the really amazing designs, but I can't afford this shit. Instead, I settled for a cheaper cork yoga mat that is plain, and I thought that if I saved up enough money and still cared about yoga enough to buy a fancy one, I would.

But then I got to thinking... could I paint my yoga mat? And the answer is yes, yes I can.

I originally got the idea when I read online of other people doing this to their rubber and PVC mats, so you do not need a cork mat to do this!

Buying the Mat

Even an inexpensive cork yoga mat is still far more than I've ever spent on one before, so I had to choose wisely. I ended up choosing the Gaiman cork yoga mat, which is about 5mm in thickness. It's roughly 68 x 24 inches. One thing I had read is that cork mats can get quite heavy, but this one is pretty lightweight while still being cushy. I was really tempted to use it right away, but I didn't want it to get dirty or oily before I painted it.

The Design

I am not an artist. I cannot draw well enough to freehand something confidently. What I do have is a Cricut Maker. If you don't know what a Cricut Maker is, it's an ill-advised purchase that I got secondhand and is actively ruining my budget. Depending on the model, it can cut out designs on a variety of materials, such as vinyl or infusible ink and can even tool leather. I used cardstock for this project to cut out stencils.

There are many free SVG templates out there as well as images created by other Cricut Makers that are only .99 each. There are many, many other places where you can purchase designs as well, or you can create your own! I am not talented enough to create my own design.

I tried several free SVGs, didn't like them, and then stumbled on this on Design Space, the Circut Maker program/shop. To quote Macklemore, "But shit, it was 99 cents!"

The image was designed by GlamSVG by Emylia and the inspiration came from an embroidery pattern by Emily June, which you can find HERE. I went through an embroidery phase during quarantine, and I have mine hung on the wall. I look at it daily.

I had to resize this image to fit my yoga mat, which ended up being 24 x 36". Because I cut the stencil out of cardstock, I had to segment everything into 8.5x11 pieces, cut, weed, and then piece it all back together on the mat. Once I had all the pieces, I stuck them to transfer paper to keep the floating segments in place. I organized and labeled everything so I could put it back together again easily. It looked like this:

Once it was assembled, I sprayed the backs with temporary adhesive so the stencils would stay down. I removed the transfer paper and began painting the outline. I did end up losing a couple of the floating pieces (see the letter O and the leaf on the far right side), so I had to freehand some of it. Overall, the stencil turned out great!

I had a variety of success with the temporary adhesive. Because I bought a more inexpensive mat, I soon discovered how not durable it is. The 'temporary' adhesive pulled up small pieces of cork after I removed the stencil. This was partially my fault, since I didn't pull up the stencil as I went. Still, there were pieces that were going to lift anyway. This revealed that the cork is only one layer, but fortunately, each piece of cork that lifted was quite small and unnoticeable, and the thread behind it matched in color. It wasn't ideal, but I could live with it.

Some of the cardstock became permanent fixtures on the mat, which I then had to paint over. Also, some of the stencil didn't stick at all, so I had minor bleed through. Problems all around! But it still turned out nicely!

I need to preface that I have never painted anything before. Well, that's a lie. I've painted a wall, and six years ago I had a Bob Ross themed birthday party. The SO, however, is the son of an artist and taught me about mixing acrylic. His first tip was to test out colors. I used Paint.Net and came up with this mock-up:

I knew I wanted the heart anatomy to be shades of red, so that was easy. The flowers were harder. I tried my favorite colors, like yellow and purple, but it didn't sit right visually. I turned to Canva Color Wheel to help me find complementary colors to the shades of red I wanted to use. That's how I came up with the pretty blues. To mix the colors, I used ColorHexa to show me the percentage of CYMK I needed.

Here are some progress shots:

I'm super happy with how it turned out! My color mixing didn't turn out exactly like the mock up, but I love the results. The last step was to let it dry for at least 48 hours. Then I set it with Mod Podge Acrylic Sealer.

I chose Mod Podge since it's non-toxic, and I will be putting my face on it. Also, my dogs walk on it while I do yoga. They think it belongs to them. :) Knowing now that there is only 1 layer of cork, I do worry how it'll hold up to dog nails over time.

Lastly, the real test was to see if it would roll, and it does! So now I just need a yoga strap, and I'm good to go!

[familiarboat1]

Hayley's character (Taylor's version)

I'm not even a Taylor swift fan, but I think the title works!

I felt like Hayley lost her character. I really do like Hayley. Even though she isn't an original. I believe she did deserve a storyline of her own. At least a character arc. I know Hayley's change in character could've been motherhood. But they never really focused much on it. I've written a character arc template for her.

TVD Hayley Marshal was a kid looking for her family. She lived alone. She didn't mind doing bad things. Hayley was even smug about it in the vampire diaries, but who can blame her. At times, I thought the main cast was annoying with all their rainbow stickers and frequent "accidents". It is rather poetic the person she came to to give her information about her family becomes her family. I'll give them that. However, in the Originals, her arc should've been her realizing, no matter how badass she may think she is, The Mikaelson's- The originals are way worse. And then carry on with her written character. The writers could've simply done this by her doing questionable things- which she does in the first season, by putting Oliver against a wall , planting a seed of doubt in Davina, Going out to the 'doctors' when the Mikaelson's told her not to, or threatening Sophie Devereux. Keep those scenes but completely erase all this talk about Hayley being good, or hinting that she's good. Let the Mikaelson's plan something horrendous, and Klaus just expects her to go with it. And write a scene where he sees her hesitate, and he says something along the lines of "I thought you of all people would be ok with this." And after her child is born. Her depressive episodes would've made so much sense. Not that it doesn't make sense, "I don't want to live like this, Elijah" would be a great end to her character arc. As in Taylor's version we see her unravel instead of completely snap. Seems more thought out. Hayley did die and turn into a hybrid. Season two continues, I think this is when they should've invested in Haylijah. Elijah sees Hayley broken as a vampire and tries to help her. They should've let Elijah try to help, and let them be in a relationship after shortly, and then Hayley and Elijah break up because Elijah didn't tell her he loved her. We got Klaus to help her , so I'm good with my Klayley moments. I'm just saying they should've stoped Just completely break Haylijah off at the very start of the season, and the entire Jackson thing is fine. But Her and Jackson don't get married till' 2/3rds of the season. . Then start the Gialijah relationship towards the end and Gia dies at the end of season two due to Dhalia's plan.(We'd change how she dies but she still dies in the name of Dhalia) Hayley then stays her regular character in seasons three to five. Personally, I like Klayley, so let's add it. It can easily be written after Jackson dies, Both Hayley and Klaus could have an arc relating to wolves and taking care of their child. And she did die at the end of season five. As a vampire too, which was cruel. I don't know what Julie Plec has with orphans, but she seems to love to write them. Do you guys think she should also die in Taylor's version?

[nerianasims]

Sigh. Sims 2 sure does load fast without a download folder.

So yeah, I'm testing if it's a download doing this. If it is, great, though it will take time to ferret out. If not, I don't think this character is salvageable, since I've tried resetting her, deleting trash memories, deleting attraction markers, deleting *her* then saving and returning to the lot so she's at the mailbox. I thought about trying a "no phone" challenge, but that sounds like a pain and I'm worried she'll spread corruption.

On the plus side, she's only been played for like 4 Sim days, won't be difficult to recreate since her face is just one of my base templates, and has only dated Don Lothario who is easy. Still. Blech.

Okay it's a download. Fun Saturday this will be! But that's a relief. I wonder why a download would only affect Iryna and no other characters.

[ross-sluggo]

ah screw it, i'll post my cw assignment on the razor

context of what we had to use for our template here

The Razor

I enter the cabin atop a hill

Someone dubbed “The Narrator” telling me my task

I have to slay her

… Is she armed?

No matter

I go to slay her

She was armed.

I reset, that didn’t go as planned

I don’t question it this time, go to slay her immediately

I may need that knife later, though, so I try to grab it from her chest after she dies

She was armed.

She stabbed me.

She fucking stabbed me.

Everything goes dark, and I die.

The woods are the same, I try questioning the narrator again

He refuses to acknowledge that I might’ve been here before

The Cheated is here, though, and he understands my frustration.

I go up to the cabin

It looks VERY different

And there’s a mirror this time. Fantastic.

I tried looking into the mirror, it vanished. Par for the course at this point.

I don’t think I need the knife this time. I go down the stairs.

She looks a bit different this time.

I try to chat with her, there’s something so wrong with her voice.

I ask if she wants to stab me again-

“What? Noooo, noooo… I wouldn’t STAB you…”

Yeah. I’m not buying that for a second.

I try questioning her more.

She slips up.

“Would I just lie? Would I just lie to your face and tell you that a thing I remembered happening didn't happen just so I could stab you again?”

That word.

“Again.”

She knows.

Even the cheated one pointed that out.

The hero tried to insist there’s been a misunderstanding.

We don’t need to listen to him.

I ask what she’d do if we let her out.

“All sorts of things, which is why I think that's a great idea! I would love to not be chained up down here. Being chained up is so boring and I crave fresh and new activities to broaden my horizons.”

Activities like stabbing or cutting or murdering?

“Yes! I mean maybe! I've never done any of those things but there is something alluring about the sound of it. I think it would also be fun to do other activities like look at a bird or touch a tree.”

… Y’know.

I would like to look at a bird.

While I’m not super convinced, I don’t know where else this could go. I might as well look at the locks.

I looked over at the locks. The narrator made a weird comment about being in arms reach of her, though-

Aaaand I got stabbed again. Fantastic.

“Hehe.”

Everything goes dark, and I die. A second time.

Everything starts as normal-

"No, fuck that! If we're going to have to keep doing this over and over and over again, we're not starting in the goddamn woods every time. We're starting in the fucking cabin."

What- huh?

I’m at the cabin suddenly.

I didn’t think the cheated had so much power.

There’s more voices- a contrarian and a broken one.

This is getting crowded.

The cabin is different again. And that damn mirror is back.

Maybe we do want the knife this time-

“And then, we throw it out the window!”

Damnit, contrarian.

We did, in fact, toss it out a window. Fuck me.

I try going down the stairs- oop, I slipped. That hurt.

"Hi! It looks like you don't have a way out, so I'm not going to play dumb anymore. And you still don't have a weapon! That's funny! That's a joke! I'm gonna kill you now."

At least she’s honest.

Blades erupt from her arms. Great. I’ve got many options this time.

So naturally, I’m going to flirt with her.

I give her The Look.

She blushes.

This is going to work, isn’t it?

“Still going to kill you though.”

Ah, shit. Well, it was worth a try.

She skewers me, cheeks still rosy.

Another voice, one rather smitten.

… Wait, I’m not dead. Where did he come from?

I try more options.

I try to flee. A paranoid voice shows up as I’m skewered.

I try to keep dodging. A voice that is hunted shows up as I’m skewered.

I try to fight back. A stubborn voice shows up as I’m skewered.

I try to just endure it. A cold and unfeeling voice shows up as I’m skewered.

I try appealing to her. An opportunist shows up as I’m skewered.

I try to think of another option. A skeptic shows up as I’m skewered.

I’m finally allowed to die.

We’re once again in the cabin. The voices all agree to tell the narrator to shut up.

Blade’s still gone, though.

We go down.

"You know, this last time I killed you and you didn't pop right back up again?"

Yeah?

"I thought I'd actually done it! I thought I'd cut you into so many pieces you just weren't able to stitch yourself back together."

Uh-huh.

"But I guess we're not done! That's okay with me. It's good, even. I like that!"

Okay?

"I got something ready for you while you were gone. Do you want to see it?"

I don't get a say in the matter, do I?

"I'm not going to wait for an answer. I'm just gonna show you!"

Called it.

"It's worth it, though. Just you wait. And not for very long, because I'm going to do it right now."

… Is the narrator even still here?

"Oh, do you want me to talk now? Really? Okay then."

Alrighty, so what happens?

"The Princess' skin twists, splitting into red blooms of raw meat as it stretches and tears. And then it... erupts. She becomes a wave of blood and viscera, pieces of her splattering against the walls. All that remains in the center of the room is a skeleton of blades. A heart beats furiously in its cage of a chest."

... Well. Shit.

“Are you ready for what comes next?”

All the voices panic.

“Holy shit!”

“She’s gorgeous… absolutely divine!”

“Yes, behold! The perfect woman!”

“Do you think we can throw HER out the window?”

“That looked… painful.”

“How is she still alive?!”

“Heart’s still beating, that’s all she needs.”

“This is all fake! None of this is real!”

“I say we bow down to her right now if that had ever even slightly worked for us.”

“This is all just a sick joke. I hate existing.”

“We’re screwed! I quit, I’m done. Forget it!”

So much noise.

So much noise.

Everyone.

Everyone.

EVERYONE SHUT UP!

“What just happened? It’s so quiet-”

YOU TOO. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Everything is gone.

She’s still here.

I can finally think.

I’m taking control again.

No more distractions.

She charges at me.

She misses.

She’s confused.

She charges again.

Her “hand” crumples into curved and damaged blades.

She gets almost frustrated.

One last time.

All of her unfurls.

Her heart, beating less but still beating, falls into my hand.

Another hand takes it.

I think I need to rest for awhile.

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

LET'S TWIST AGAIN

Opening this weekend...

Twisters--This isn't a look behind the scenes at the raw, fiercely competitive world of people who play the Milton Bradley party game. No, this is a pretty belated sequel to Jan de Bont's Twister, the 1996 adventure yarn about storm chasers. It follows roughly the same plot template: A midwestern heroine with a personal grudge against tornados tries to devise a way to combat them. In '96 this role was played by Helen Hunt; here it's a waif called Daisy Edgar-Jones.

After an opening tragedy while she's trying to deploy the "Dorothy" technology from the original film, our meteorologist heroine withdraws to New York. Five years later she's tempted back into storm chasing in her home state of Oklahoma by an old crony (Anthony Ramos) with new high-tech charting equipment and a crew and budget. He wants her tornado whisperer skills in helping them get close enough to get the essential data to figure out how to dissipate a tornado in progress. She reluctantly agrees to join them for a week.

She and her new colleagues finds themselves in competition with a rowdy, showboating band of YouTube storm chasers, led by the cute, cocksure cowboy Glen Powell. They look like insufferable clowns, but as our heroine trades banter with him and gradually gets to know him better, and to learn more about his motives...Well, you can forecast where this is heading.

I guess I wasn't aware that Twister, which also starred Bill Paxton and Jami Gertz, was such a beloved film that there was a burning desire for a sequel. I remember thinking it was okay, if a little CGI-ersatz, and that the "bad" meteorologist in the black SUV played by Cary Elwes was a little corny. I enjoyed it, but certainly didn't feel any great need for another chapter.

The new film, directed by Minari's Lee Isaac Chung from a script by Mark L. Smith, has the same merits as the original, and the same weaknesses. The storms and the destruction they wreak have the sterile, unreal quality of wall-to-wall CGI effects. I'm not sure what the alternative would be; it's hardly fair to ask the cast and crew to work with actual twisters. But the tornado that sucked Dorothy up to Oz in 1939 has, for me, more physical menace than the virtual twisters here.

That said, Chung handles the big showpiece action scenes excitingly, and he keeps them coming. Edgar-Jones, Powell, Ramos and the other actors are amiable enough, though the dramatic and romantic side of the film isn't much more substantive than that of, say, a Hallmark holiday movie--Powell looks like he'd be a natural for those.

All throughout Twisters, it's continually exasperating to see that, in the midst of what we're told is a record-setting tornado outbreak, the small-town Okies are still going to rodeos and street fairs and baseball games. At one point our heroes even seek shelter from the storm in a movie theater which, this being a Universal picture, is showing the original 1931 Frankenstein. If you must get flattened in a theater, at least they get a worthwhile flick.