#i'm sorry that you have to read this
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a/n: i do not remember writing this at all, but it was in my drafts. i think that this might just have been a 3am thing as there is absolutely no plot to this whatsoever, so i am sorry that it makes no sense at all, but i thought that it was somewhat cute anyway and so here we are. enjoy?
/
in pursuit of laughter (with the perfect degree of mirth)
Wednesday was outright refusing to rest. Each night, Enid could hear her clacking away at her typewriter, polishing her cello, stepping about in a quick pace around their shared room.
At first, the blonde hadn't questioned it. Wednesday was weird. We all knew that; it wasn't until she noticed the heavy bags that seemed to be pulling at the girl's eyelids that she decided to step in. The writer looked like she was in pain. Well, more pain than usual. Enid had spoken to Thing about it ad nasuem. He had expressed to her that she often does this. She goes through phases of insomnia. It wasn't entirely uncommon, but it didn't ever last this long. Five days. Wednesday hadn't closed her eyes in five days. Most people would have been driven mad by the third day, but not Wednesday. Because she was weird.
As if Enid had Beetlejuice-d her roommate with her mind, the latter came stomping through the door. Her movements were slow; her whole body drooping to the floor. She dropped her bag down beside her bed before collapsing onto her mattress with a sigh.
"Howdy, roomie!" Enid almost yelled.
Wednesday flinched at the decibel of Enid's tone before grunting at her roommate in response. This'd been the trajectory of how the majority of their conversations had concluded over the last few days. The werewolf missed her roomie. She had missed her usual not as cold, detached tone. These last few days had been far too cold for her liking.
After another minute of Enid staring at Wednesday and Wednesday pretending that she hadn't noticed, the raven haired girl stood up and started to move sluggishly towards their shared bathroom.
Enid followed her across the floor with her eyes. She needed to fix her friend and if Wednesday wanted to play hardball, well, so could she.
It had been a couple of minutes, but as the writer emerged from the bathroom, looking more worn out than when she had left those few minutes ago, the blonde decided that it was now or never.
Desperate times called for desperate measures. Enid pounced onto her roommate, the pair toppling to the floor with a very undignified thump. Wednesday struggled admirably, trying in vain to push Enid away from her. She should know by now that her tired spaghetti arms are no match for Enid's human strength, never mind her wolf strength. With little effort, the blonde forced Wednesday's hands behind her back and held them there with one knee.
"Enid, let me go," Wednesday hissed, her braid whipping around as she turned her head to face Enid.
The look that she gave to the other girl was almost enough to make her falter. Almost. Eyes on the prize, Enid. "No. You need to sleep, Wednesday."
The raven haired girl growled under her breath, hissing as she felt a hand latch onto her side. Her breath hitched as she realised what it was that Enid was planning to do.
"Enid, no. Don't." Her struggling became a little bit more frantic, but she was far too exhausted to really make it count.
"I'm sorry, Wednesday, but you leave me no choice. If you refuse to sleep then I will just have to make you."
And she went straight for the kill. Enid dug her fingers into Wednesday's ribs and hit the spots just between the bones that she knew drove the girl insane. The reaction was instantaneous.
"Ahahahahaha! Ehihihihinid!"
The werewolf couldn't help but smile along with the goth's laughter. She would never get tired of hearing her giggles and snorts. "Yes?"
The teasing lilt in her voice made Wednesday blush a shade darker than she had been. "Stohohohop it!"
Enid hummed, her face appearing to be in deep thought for a moment before her movements became a little bit more aggressive. She was not playing around. "No, I don't think I will."
Wednesday tried to pull at her hands, which were still suspended behind her back, to no avail. She snorted as Enid hit that dreaded spot on her second rib. It made giggles turn to full laughter as her struggling became slower under the weight of her exhaustion and her cachinnation.
Enid grinned down at the girl underneath her. "Oh, right, this is a really bad spot for you," she teased, snickering to herself. "I forgot."
If Wednesday had access to her knives right now, the werewolf would be dead. In fact, as soon as she regained control of all four of her limbs, the werewolf would die.
The blonde let her hands retreat from Wendesday's body, the writer gasping in some much needed air. Her head dropped to the floor, forehead resting against dusty floorboards. If Enid didn't know any better, she could have sworn that she saw the writer's eyes close for a few seconds as she gathered herself.
Progress.
She looked down into Wednesday's eyes and could almost see that her resolve was breaking. "Do you want me to take you to bed?"
Wednesday turned her head just slightly to face the blonde's that was hovering above hers. "No, it is my writing -"
But the werewolf was having none of that. Enid wiggled her hand into Wednesday's short pocket and dug her thumb into the crease where the girl's leg met her body. It was a stab in the dark, to be honest. She wasn't entirely sure if the girl was ticklish there, but it was one of her worst spots. So she figured why not. She was not disappointed. Wednesday started snorting and cackling immediately. She tried to threaten Enid, to yell that she was going to use her bed springs to remove the werewolf's fingernails, but no words were making it past her manical laughter. It was frankly embarrassing how much of a reaction she was able to get out of her with just one finger.
Wednesday's face had reached an undiscovered shade of red as her head shot around in silent laughter. Enid used her thumb to dig into that spot whilst a claw simultaneously scratched circles onto her bottom ribs, bringing forth the perfect degree of mirth.
It wasn't until the girl had completely resigned herself to her fate that Enid retreated her hands again and released Wednesday's arms from their hold behind her back. Wednesday, for her part, lay on the floor in a puddle of her own limbs as she tried to gather herself together. Before she was able to regain full composure of her body, however, she felt herself be scooped up off the floor and carefully placed down onto her bed.
She stared tiredly up at Enid as the other girl brought the covers over her body, humming as she did so, and tucked the sides underneath her both of her arms.
The werewolf smiled down at her. "Sleep sweet, roomie," she said before skipping over to her own bed. Wednesday could have sworn that she saw the blonde fist pump Thing before her eyes drooped closed, and she fell into a very pleasant dream of revenge.
Enid was going to suffer, and Wednesday was going to enjoy every moment of inflicting said suffering.
#wednesday netflix#wednesday enid tickle#🐸 writes#i'm sorry that you have to read this#it is almost as horrifying as being chased by a flock of geese
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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.
Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU
#knitting#no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means#How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles#Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me#Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice#How do I join the pattern cult#I am so confused#I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders#I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources#And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me#I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language#And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction
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art/patrick + old childhood best friends motif
#challengers#art x patrick#art donaldson#patrick zweig#artrick#*#this whole concept...i am sick over it you have no idea.#it will always make me go feral in fiction#i'm sorry it's so long idk if anyone's gonna read it but it's my bday today#and i've been thinking of all the people i used to love who aren't in my life anymore#fire and ice
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posting this with absolutely no context
#am i a cryptid now? i log on like once in a blue moon to post cringe and then leave again#ace attorney#apollo justice#tikki#random stuff#my stuff#ooookay okay okay okay. anyone reading the tags can have a LITTLE context‚ as a treat#so. sitting on my ao3 currently is an unfinished fic with exactly this premise#i want to finish it so bad. it haunts me every day. people leave such nice comments and everything#but i just have no motivation. trust me i've tried#i thought that perhaps drawing it might finally kick my brain back into gear#i'm so sorry readers i'm sorry i WILL finish it i promise it's not abandoned#it was so much fuuuuun#tikki are you seeing this. cringefail author who keeps playing video games instead of writing lmao#anyway goodbye friends i am gone again. logging off once more
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I have been sketching. So much tma. Here's some expansions on my Jon and Martin designs I've been doing.
Another note I forgor to mention is I love how after hearing Simon go "it's enough to make your hair turn white" about Martin's office in s4 many of us collectively agreed his hair turned white because of his association with the Lonely. The shared consciousness is real and we use it to play hot potato with the communal brain cell dedicated to the sillies.
Closeup of apocalypse boyfriends (also to the person who said they love my s5 Jon's fancy white girl updo: I think about that every day)
#s5 Jon in his white girl era#whatever the fuck that means#I'm still not done w the archives cuz busy n stuff but Jon needs to let Martin know wtf goin on#God may work in mysterious ways but you do not have to. Communicate with your man please#my art#the magnus archives#tma fanart#tma#tma season 5#tma spoilers#jonathan sims#tma podcast#martin blackwood#tma jmart#jmart#jmart fanart#jonmartin#there's so much going on in these and I am not sorry welcome to my chaotic mind#hope y'all read the tags cuz I need to announce before I fully make my Jon character sheet that his favorite band is linkin park#it's so funny and just right#tbf linkin park goes hard I'm tired of pretending it doesnt#but come on he totally was totally an edgey prick when he was younger#and older. he hasnt changed huh#anygays he totally loves linkin park and type o negative and three days grace and green day and evanescence#georgie was a paramore girlie I just know it#wish gerry were here he and jon would jam to type o negative so much :( and jon could introduce him to this cold night :(((#ok enough byeeeee
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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Just a heads up to new artists who might not know this: tracing people's artwork and posting it as your own is not okay. With or without credit, its stolen if you don't have permission.
This is why I continue to stay out of the Octonauts fandom and now probably will not return. Even months after leaving the fandom I'm still getting new art tracers and thieves.
If you absolutely have to trace and post it, just ask the artist first. If they say no then don't trace their artwork.
#sorry if this post seems pretty salty#I had a really long day and I think I'm coming down with something#was going to unwind and check tumblr real fast before crashing#only to stumble upon yet another art tracer. And who would have thought. it was Octonauts#This might be the nail in the coffin for me#I don't have any confidence when it comes to returning to this fandom-#but I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe they really don't know that it's not okay to do that#So that's what this hastily made and very drowsy post is for-#for new artists that might know that tracing people's artwork and posting it as if it was your own is theft#And it also keeps artists like me out of fandoms.#So apologies#this is a slightly salty yet gentle reminder to not trace peoples art without permission#thank you for reading 💞#heres to hoping i don't wake up with a terrible cold tomorrow ��
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If Jin Ling is bald because WWX cursed Jin Zixuan then why are Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao bald🤔🤔
Jin Ling was always going to be bald, Wei Wuxian's curse was just an accidental prophecy that will haunt Jin Zixuan for exactly one month.
#ask#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#jin ling#digital art#The Jin family curse skipped Jin Zixuan.#He wont be worried by the end of Jin Ling's first month month so it's no big deal B*)#I like to imagine that Jin Ling doesn't even have the hair strand JGY and JGS have. It's his father's hat and hair.#But now we are moving into truly wild lore that I am not 100% sure I want to commit to.#You know how sometimes you send a curse or prediction out in the world and it comes true?#and even though it happened unrelated to you there is a feeling of 'oh no did I do that?'#That's probably what went down. Unless WWX developed ball blasting cultivation sigils to curse one's descendants.#Ball blasting cultivation...what a combination of words. I'm so sorry to everyone who read these tags.
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kainess x rope (1948)
#blue lock#michael kaiser#alexis ness#kainess#ブルーロック#blue lock fanart#blue lock manga#art#fanart#my art#kainess enjoyers do i have a movie for you#i consider the play it was based on a foundational text of toxic yaoi i'm dead serious#ESPECIALLY after 261 this fits them so well if u like kainess go watch rope now NOWWW#(also read the play i'm a useless theatre kid so ofc i'll rec that i directed it last year)#i don't have anything particularly devastating to say in the tags today sorry guys#if u want devastating go read never the sinner it's another play that covers the true story that inspired rope#now THAT one will fuck you up for a good 5-7 business days#happy reading!
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Plz… do you have any yandere clone crumbs (or headcanons even)? I love this trope lmao
YOUR CULT LEADER IS SO GLAD YOU ASKED
[LONG yandere ramblings under the cut!]
THESE ARE ALL RANDOM STREAMS OF THOUGHTS. THERE'S NO ORDER. ALSO I'M NOT A WRITER SO FORGIVE ANY ERRORS!!!
General
They're all interested in the same type of person for different reasons. So if you catch the interest of one, you'll soon catch the interest of the others.
The clones are also pathological liars like the main body.
They're scrappy unfair fighters.
They'd all have a common trait of imposing themselves into your life. Whether or not you want to see them, they'll always pop up uninvited.
That and being disgustingly clingy to the point you can barely breathe without one of them there to share your air.
Their violence varies, but rest (un)assured that it is always an option for them, yes, even Hantengu.
Even if different, sometimes it really shows that they're a single unit.. sooner or later, your hands will be full with a bunch of annoying, needy, lying, terrible, and problematic assholes.
They're all more intense than the average human. To them, a human life is as insignificant as an ant. They'd kill someone for the hell of it, or if it's an order from Muzan. That view doesn't change much if you're in the picture.
Now it's just a matter of not scaring you too much, hence, Hantengu’s chronic lying problem. They want to be the ones you rely and lean on. to feel comfortable with! Don't mind the blood. It's not like you haven't seen it on them before!
Relax, they truly never want to hurt you!!
Hantengu
Starting off with our man of the hour, Hantengu. He's aligned with delusional and obsessive types of yanderes, one who's too afraid to approach you but watches you from afar nonetheless.
You'd have to make an effort to find him since he'd most likely be shrunk into his tiny form and hidden in some small crevice.
It started off as a simple fascination. You probably made contact with him in his human disguise (accidental or not.) As he cowered, you were pretty decent.
It was a surprising but welcoming change of pace from the usual villains who'd try to harm him, but he still fled from you. He was going to eat you no doubt, but he kept putting it off until he lost his appetite.
He's terrified you might do something to him, that you'll hurt him! but the attention you gave him makes him yearn for your company. He wants to watch you all the time and quite literally, will do just that.
Hantengu's there when you wake up and when you go to bed. He's living somewhere in your home. Always watching.
With the ability to shrink very small and run extremely fast, you'd think you might have rats in your home. Each time you think you hear a snap, the rat traps always end up broken to pieces.
He sends his clones in his stead to test the waters after getting far too worried once you leave his sight. If you don't hurt them, then he'll know you're not so bad! Still won't approach, but a bit more calm when he's "around." or when they invade your life.
Assuming the clones never stray too far from the main body (if they're physically able to or not, doesn't really matter) they never want to leave Hantengu unprotected, which means your home is the main base.
You can move, try running away, get help, or whatever, but it's all futile because Hantengu will hide in your items meaning the others will always end up finding you with him.
it's a rule of thumb for the Hantengus not to mention him for safety reasons and because he's already terrified as is and any unwarranted attention is probably bad... He'd be horrified to be under your gaze for long, which is why he prefers you with your eyes closed.
Hantengu is like your sleep paralysis demon. At the dead of night, he peeks out from wherever he's hiding and watches you.
With demonic speed, any flinch or shuffle from you has him hiding again, but if you awaken and keep your eyes closed, you can hear faint crying and sniffling while you slumber.
If it makes you uncomfortable or ruins your sleep, Hantengu doesn't put two and two together, it can't possibly be him. What a travesty..!
It'd be difficult to try and make contact since he's always watching from the sidelines or cowering and hiding away, but it'll get easier eventually when it's drilled into him that you won't be like the people he's met.
He genuinely believes that the world is full of evil villains that may hurt you, so if he sees someone that worries him, the clones will zero in on them.
Hantengu has a dangerously powerful influence on them.. combine that with his victim complex? terrible.
Sometimes all Hantengu needs is a single seed of doubt to be implanted in his mind before he's lying to everyone and deluding himself that you're getting manipulated.
That's when his clones step in, scouting out the place for the possible source of the problem. That or pick off random people one by one before you're back in their arms!
But it's not his fault that you're surrounded by overprotective, suffocating freaks! Trust!!
The upside is if you meet him, he's extremely docile. He doesn't do much aside from cower and weep, begging you not to hurt him. Attempts to hide are futile if you tell him to stay... like a deer caught in headlights. ironic.
One of the others are probably always in the room, if not all of them, making your interactions even more awkward.
Once Hantengu warms up to the idea of having you know about his existence, you'd mostly find him in the pockets of your clothes or in areas where your trinkets would be strewn about.
It’s highly unlikely that he’d be violent in front of you, but that doesn't mean that the others won't be, (for his and your safety they say) Hantengu just cries about things or trembles at most with every sound making him flinch, huddling behind you in some way.
Hantengu often forgets he can go to his full height, usually being the size of your foot or smaller. If he's tiny, you'll see how he's a really harmless and defenseless victim of the world!
Nevermind how you sometimes catch the scent of blood coming from your home, only to find him cowering at the scene of a crime.
Depending on your demeanor, you're either a victim like him so you MUST stick together, or you're his savior.
He feels that safety and contentment when around you, but would rather stay on the side lines than risk anything. It's as if watching you do your daily routine is his stress relief.
It's absolutely awful if you're in danger or out of his line of sight for long. No reports from one of his clones? No most recent update to your whereabouts? No one is with you to inform him!?
Full panic attacks and inconsolable babbling about how you must be dead!! The world is so cruel and awful to him!!!
These types of reactions agitate the others, making them more worried if they're also in the dark. It's possible Hantengu would use Urami to go and find you himself in these rare instances. It'd be a disaster, but at least he'd have peace of mind..
At least you don't have to worry about Hantengu being jealous though. He's pretty tame, too focused on being afraid of everything else. The others handle his jealousy for him so that he doesn't worry.
Sekido
A mixture of highly jealous and possessive type, secretly protective as well! A mean tsundere is what you usually see, if not his common form of verbal abuse if he's too worked up.
The subtle flush on his cheeks takes the edge off his words if it's directed at you even if he blames it on being red in the face with anger because of you or [x] reason.
First impressions were probably that you were extremely annoying and would suggest eating you to the others whenever a situation arose. Thankfully the others prevented that from happening.
Sekido is one out of the two who'd accidentally hurt you. He never means to, but he forgets his own strength. In the beginning, instead of trusting you to follow him, he'd grab your wrist and drag you around with him to wherever he needed to be.
You could run away when he's not looking and cause an unwanted commotion, so it's best to have you on a tight leash leading to bruising sometimes..
Out of all of them, Sekido needed the most time to warm up to you. When he'd realized he'd fallen for you, he'd already be cursing at himself for being so blind to it earlier.
It started off as moments where his irritation calmed then snowballed into a bliss he only knows if he's by your side.
You'd think he genuinely hates your guts at times. The way he gets so angry and harshly insults you can take a toll. If he senses he's cut you deep, he still won't apologize verbally.
Knowing himself, saying anything would only hurt you more, he's too rough with phrasing that it wouldn't sound genuine. How is it his fault that you're so fragile?
Sekido has too much pride, but a lot of it is in constant conflict with his love for you. It's what gets him so frustrated when thinking about it. You make him feel disgustingly mushy inside, and he wants to tear out his heart and tell it to get a grip.
He probably doesn't speak to you for a few days, instead choosing to act while you're not looking to regain favor.
Making food you'd like, inviting you to spend time indoors, buying you small gifts, and even cleaning up around your place. Wordless actions that come off as apologies for his temper that he’ll make SURE won't go unnoticed.
If you confront him, he huffs with his back towards you as if it were nothing but takes credit for it regardless.
Sure, he's the oldest, but Sekido still has his moments of immaturity like the other three. If he had it his way, he'd refuse to let anyone speak to you, almost isolating you, so his acts of service really shine through.
What if someone tries getting your favor by taking advantage of his supposed mistakes? It's extremely insulting that anyone would even dare try! Infuriating even!
The only people he'd allow you to speak with are his clones and main body. But like everything, it depends on his mood or the situation.
Is it REALLY necessary to talk to someone else when Sekido is RIGHT THERE?? No. It's not. Now shut up and eat the sweets he got you.
Sekido doesn't do PDA, but violence will always be on the table, never hesitating if someone gets near you, or looks at you too long.
He says he's the best clone to take when going out, but he’s punched too many bystanders as a warning far too many times... You're lucky if he simply verbally abuses someone until they're crying or humiliated.
You can say the handsome man with the red eyes has grown a reputation in town.
You also gain a reputation as someone who’s EXTREMELY off limits, dangerous even. While Sekido isn't as affectionate or sweet as the others, the things he lets slide when it comes to you make it obvious that you're his favorite person.
“Are you trying to die? Even insects have more survival instincts than you.” and all you did was bump into him. Sekido dusts himself off and gives you a once over, subtly making sure you're okay before he continues with whatever he was doing.
Were it anyone else, he would’ve swung his staff at them for even getting near him.
You're given special treatment because, to Sekido, you ARE special. On rare occasions, he'll even verbalize his fondness for you, even if it's worded as if he were reprimanding.
Just don't be so blind to the hints he's throwing at you and he won't have to beat your face in.. specifically your lips with his lips, very roughly, until you're both bruised and breathless.
When Sekido needs to be away from you for whatever reason, he knows you're okay. He entrusts you to the others in his absence, but his mind starts wandering to how he misses your hands on his..
It's different remembering it and seeing it, if you were there, you could touch him and he could reciprocate. It'd be even better if you were both alone—and now, someone’s interrupting his thoughts.
Frustration bubbles up and he's ready to snap at someone. What could be so damn important!?
If Sekido comes back with blood on his person, just don't ask, he's already annoyed and he's seeking solace with you.
You flip a switch in him. Your warmth, your presence, your voice, it’s like serenity to his vexed soul. He sits comfortably beside you when he has to plan for something.
It helps him think clearly but, he doesn't let go of your wrist..
His grip is unnaturally tight too, so you're stuck there unless you want to risk Sekido getting frustrated again because his personified peace wants to get up and do something, at least, that's what he says.
Even if it holds some truth, when you whittle Sekido down enough, he confesses that, in a weird way, he's constantly worried for you.
You're not as strong as them and he knows this, but it's clear as day when he's calm enough.
Not that he needs to, but Sekido takes the responsibility for not only keeping himself alive, but Hantengu and more importantly you.
If anything were to happen to you, he doesn't know what he'd do. So instead he acts as the most aggressive guard dog ever and keeps any unknown presence as far from you as possible.
Moments of peace with you don't happen often for him, so please stay a while longer? The others will barge in any minute now, so indulge him a little until then?
And don't speak a word about it to anybody or else he’ll destroy your home and everything inside it!
Karaku
Extremely self aware, obsessive type. He knows how to properly court someone, that everything they're doing crosses many lines, but this way is much more entertaining.
You were just another random face in the beginning that he just shrugs and tries to find enjoyment in by tormenting, but as he interacts more with you, he finds it more invigorating than anything else.
He starts going easier on you, opting for just teasing. Dragging you into spending time with him is surprisingly more fun than a battle lately..
Whether you like him back or not isn't even important. As long as you have SOME level of affection for him and don't forget to give him some attention, he's satisfied.
Everything is fun when it comes to you and while he'd IDEALLY like you to reciprocate his feelings and be obsessed with him, he just needs an inch for the mile he'll take!
It's not like he will actively make you hate him, but he'll definitely try coaxing you into things you might not be eager for.
I doubt there's much that can upset him in general, much less if it's you. You're so attractive and entertaining to him, all your reprimands and insults go in one ear and out the other.
He laughs and agrees to whatever you said, brushing it off, then tries nudging you into moving on and doing something that doesn't upset you! Like doing him!
O-or.. if you're not in the mood right now, that's fine. There's a bunch of other fun stuff that you two can do!
With all that, Karaku's still aware that you'd be uncomfortable with him shoving all his affection onto you, getting possessive, and even beating some people up for the hell of it.
But he also knows people can learn to get used to things they can't escape and get desensitized, so he attempts to do just that and ease you into your new life!
He's still affectionate, it's Karaku! He doesn't force you into anything too intimate. Physical touch may be his go-to, but holding you and hugging you is the most he'd do unless he gets hints that he may be allowed to do more.
Out of everyone, he's the most relaxed, which isn't saying much. If you say you're going somewhere he hears we’re going somewhere, but at least you can go near strangers without him hurting anyone.
When spending time with the others, he knows he can just butt in, or do something that'll force your attention on him. Even if people try talking to you, he's not upset, just amused.
Very confident Karaku is.. any attempt someone tries with you is hilarious to him since he knows you're likely to reject them. He only gets slightly miffed if YOU'RE the one coming onto others.
“Oi~ You're really greedy, you have all of me and yet you still want other's attention? ..How about you try convincing me a little and I won't make that much of a fuss, yeah?” as if he's not always trying to hold you in the most PDA way possible…
Karaku loves to show off how he's taken even if it makes you embarrassed. You're cute when flustered anyway so that's just another plus!
When you're gone he's sooo~ bored. It reminds him of that itch he had before he met you where life was too dull and he needed that stimulation only chaos could provide.
Unfortunately, chaos is like a storm, and the clouds dissipate eventually. So what does he do? Create his own storms, of course!
Karaku is a renowned pleasure seeker, sexual or not. Since he met you, the sexual part is reserved, so he's usually seeking fun in terms of mischief, adrenaline rushes, or destruction.
Starting problems on purpose by provoking others to the point of a fight is his favorite especially if he can blow down buildings.
Some dishonorable mentions that aren't fighting are planting gross items into bags, spreading rumors, giving false information, and turning people against one another.
Overall things that would make you regret letting him out of your sight.
Karaku likes to make himself more appealing to you by boasting about small things. It could be the bare minimum, but you wouldn't know if he's exaggerating any tiny details!
Hearing your tastes and interests will have him leaning into that, but he's not going to change himself completely.
He's confident he can worm his way into your heart by being himself.
You should give him praise sometime! He didn't tease Sekido and make him so upset he blew a fuse. And! He didn't toy with anyone’s life before killing them this time! He also only used his uchiwa twice. max. and no buildings collapsed completely..
See? He's not that bad of a guy! You should trust him more, you'll hurt his feelings..!
He's the one who will also flirt with you the most, leaving lingering touches and casually inviting you for some bedroom fun. You could be in the middle of dinner and he'd ask if you're up for it later as if it's a casual thing between you two.
This guy.. he really REALLY likes you touching him.. from his hair to his arms, to his chest, and down his legs, whatever you want is yours. But it also makes him more reserved in a way?
Someone tapping his shoulder gets him a little miffed. It's like someone is touching something of yours. Whatever, getting your hands all over him should fix that right up.
Karaku is an interesting case.. He portrays himself as an open book, but there's so much more than he lets on.
He makes mental notes of things you like and strictly hate, secretly helps balance everyone’s jealousy so you don't get burnt out, always there when you need him most, and is second to tend to you if Aizetsu isn't around.
Serious situations aren't his style, he’ll always try to be playful to lighten the mood, but you can see his ear twitch when he notices something’s wrong.
He's the second oldest after all, so he has the capability to be mature if he wants to.
But being a stick in the mud is Sekido’s job, so he works around it in his own pleasurable way!
There’s times even when he likes to take things slow and enjoy the moment with you around. Pleasure can be relaxation. While he loves being out and about, a nice quiet evening with you can be fun too.. even if he has to push you around a little too make it happen.
He likes how you make him feel whole, like he's not chasing after the unattainable satisfaction that's so close but so far.
Urogi
Intoxicated delusional type... Urogi believes you wouldn't do anything to hurt him on purpose and finds joy in your “shyness.” If you were to reject him or push him away, he laughs very loudly, “reassuring” you.
First impressions were pretty tense. He'd eye you like he's waiting for you to step wrong before feasting. Like those fangs suggest, he's a humanity's predator first and foremost and he wanted to keep it that way.
At least, he thought so until he played with his food too much and got attached.
You later begin to be like a drug to him. He NEEDS you. Whether it be within earshot, field of vision, or (preferably) within arm's reach. If not, he gets super fidgety, nervous, restless. Can't sit still.
Similar to Hantengu except he begins getting impulsive and violent with anything or anyone around the longer you're away.
Usually, he thinks twice about slicing anything with his talons when you're around, he's too happy with your attention and knows you're pretty squishy! But if you're gone, the blood splatters make him feel better!
He misses you! Come back!! There are scratches and tossed furniture everywhere because Urogi attempted to calm himself with things that smell like you. Everything's just a mess, but he at least greets you the second you get home.
Cuddly and excitable! He'd tackle you in a hug and swing you around, or cling to you with his full body until you both tip over. Urogi likes your scent and warmth.
It's comforting, so he's constantly near you and touching you, sometimes fighting with the others cause he wants his turn.
Similar to Sekido, you're like a switch that flips to excited when you make contact of any kind, so it's not uncommon to find him clamoring to sit on your lap or lay his head somewhere on you when he sees you.
Again, like Sekido, Urogi can get jealous to the same levels as him. However, whereas Sekido would be violent and aggressive, Urogi is whiny and clingy.
It's almost funny how he’s the one whose mood shifts the quickest. Even compared to Aizetsu, he's more likely to cry, or compared to Sekido, he'd lash out about something small.
But as his main emotion states, he'll always revert back to his gleeful self.
One second, he's complaining because you've been “ignoring” him for too long [three minutes] but cheers up if you so much as graze his skin, “Hahaha!! Okay, I forgive you!! Can we go out now? Oh! Oh! How about a kiss?!”
Joy may be better than when Urogi's upset, but it's still... pretty shameless like Karaku, except Urogi doesn't WANT to embarrass you on purpose.
He's got a loud voice and a one-track mind with you. Begging and asking isn't out of the realm of possibility for him either.
Something you can count on with these four is that they're honest in their feelings for you.
Urogi, being the one who's extremely raw in showing it, talks from the heart with no brain. What you see is what you get. Most of the time...
Urogi, like the others, has his moments of dishonesty, but it’s not his fault! He wants your love constantly so bends the truth about needing you in some type of way or that he was bullied!!!
He has a headache, take care of him! Oh, his left wing hurts, pet it for him, please? His feathers have been really bothering him lately, preen him? Yes, you did so yesterday, but they're bothering him again!! Also, Sekido was really mean for no reason again, stay with him so he doesn't get yelled at again!!
With how much he thrives under your attention, you'd wonder how he reacts with people who aren't you. Well, it's simple, if its not a fight, he leads back to you!
If someone ever talks to Urogi long enough there's a 90% chance he'll mention “someone” and ignore whatever they say.
When you're not the subject of the convo, he brings you up, interrupting the other's train of thought. Annoyingly so..
It gets particularly messy if he's conversing with the other three because then they'd forget about the original topic and get swept up with missing you instead.
Even the hobbies he has that aren't you, remind him of you.. in albeit concerning ways..
He likes to eat fleshy meat, but he gets reminded of how your skin feels under his hands. It'd be more flattering if he wasn't literally ripping the flesh off of something with his fangs, but he means well.
Sharing things he likes is a sign of love, right? That's why he brings you gifts! ..Like a cat bringing its owner dead mice except this cat is five foot nine and way more dangerous..
and the dead mice are limbs that can get you arrested............
It's terrifying to wake up to a mysterious blob of red meat, especially when Urogi says “It's the only thing that kinda resembles what it used to be!” but laughs in your face instead of explaining further.
A tongue was probably the most concerning thing that still had its original shape, but not surprising.
Urogi is unfortunately way too damn strong. He's the second one to accidentally hurt you after Sekido, his talons are extremely sharp and sometimes dig into you when he gets too excited. He tries not to, but even passing by he can nick you.
Bandages are difficult for him to grab with his talons, and he feels terrible afterward, so he licks your wounds clean if you let him. Sure, it won't do much, but at least your blood smells delicious, and it makes him happy tasting it!
Right, this isn't about him, right!
There's something almost innocent about how Urogi acts with you. Even if you hate his guts, he’d still treat you like treasure. He can't bring himself to hate you no matter what you do.
He’ll get annoyed at times when you're too “coy,” sure, but never more than that or for long.
He can be a handful, but you can tell he tries to give you a good happy relationship. One that he hopes makes you feel the same unending joy he feels even if it's a bit traumatic.
Aizetsu
Manipulative and stalking type. Aizetsu wants to get tasks over with as fast as possible. he doesn't have any motivation for it. He's tired and sad and wants to curl up into a ball and lay down.
First time meeting, Aizetsu didn't even spare you a glance. If you weren't food or a threat, then you might as well have been a poor wall or weird tree.
Giving him a taste of pampering is probably what slowly melted his cold walls.
Now that he has you, it's strange. He WANTS to get up and do things with you. The weight on his shoulders isn't as heavy when you're around. He wants to keep you near him always and if he has to be pathetic to do that, then he'll do it.
Sending cute sad glances your way, sighing after each word as if its tiring to breathe, constantly leaning or holding onto your clothes, whatever makes him look like he'd die without you is what he'll do.
Aizetsu is more than capable like the other three if not the most. it's just that he doesn't need to do it, so he doesn't want to.
He purposely makes himself out like he's the “good” one, but he's just quieter. Unlike Karaku's boasting, Aizetsu wants you to see the worst in others so it makes himself look better by comparison.
Making others or himself seem pathetic is his strong suit, sometimes making his counterparts the brunt of that pity.
That or he takes a page out of Karaku's handbook and stirs the pot so they do the job for him. Sometimes they involve Aizetsu if they find out which makes him sad...
He pouts, looking at his counterparts fighting, and tells you how it's such a pity you're stuck with a rowdy bunch like them while knowing full well that he muttered something under his breath about Karaku mocking Sekido to make Urogi laugh while passing by.
It didn't happen, but it could've... it's okay, just stay with Aizetsu on the sidelines while they tucker themselves out.
Speaking of that, Aizetsu seldom lets you go. Like the others, he loves touching you, but the others let go eventually from some form of hyperactivity.
Aizetsu.. doesn't. His hand is always firmly grasping some part of your clothes while you walk, but if you're not using your arm, he'll hold that for you too.
You can try shaking him off, but it really wouldn't do anything except make him frown and grip tighter. You could ditch your clothes, it'll stun him for a moment until he's pouting again, but he’ll let you go.
Unfortunately you probably won't get your discarded clothes back for a while even if you apologize.
That and he’ll cling on again in five minutes if he's near. It's a force of habit.
Aizetsu's the strongest physically of the four, but tries his best to seem weak around you so you can spoil and love him more.
The second you leave him to figure out his own issues, you usually hear a loud thump then crack followed by Aizetsu's soft footsteps rushing to follow behind you.
Even with his crazy strength, he's the second least likely to spill blood.
Not because he's guilty or anything, don't be silly, but because he doesn't want to put effort into cleaning himself up, so you'll embrace him again. If you didn't care, then he'd be a bit messier.
Then again, he doesn't like how the dried blood feels in his hair, and he doubts he can get away with making you wash it for him every time.
Aizetsu is constantly upset, but he's not openly emotional aside from his usual declarations of sorrow. He doesn't cry easily, being in a constant state of sadness makes everything numb at some point, so it's something he expresses privately..
or, to persuade you into feeling bad for him further.
“Pitying others is only natural, but don't forget you have someone waiting for you always. I'd wither away without you.” He says that, but the others never see him waiting for anything when you're out.. Why? Because he never leaves you.
Sometimes you think you see a blue reflection from the corner of your eyes, but you check and nothing. Feeling like you're watched has been a constant lately since meeting the clones. Hopefully, it's just nerves.
But it's not!
Behind wall corners, in the shadows, amongst crowds, in closets, Aizetsu's always there. Watching with that same sorrowful pout. As mentioned earlier, he doesn't feel demotivated when doing things for you.
He's making sure you're safe and gathering more information. He wants to be precise when around you. How are you when you think they're not around? He'll find out. He always does.
Not that you notice much... He doesn't throw tantrums when you need to part from him like the others, only simple, “Really? Where are you going..?” and that's all for protesting. He's the “good one,” remember? He won't stop you.
Aizetsu gets a little sloppy with hiding his hobby(?) when he doesn't react to the new things and stories you intended to tell him. As if listening to a story again.
He's lucky he doesn't speak much or he would've filled in the details of the story you forgot about.
The downside of following you is that Aizetsu gets approached sometimes. Annoying... He's so gloomy, that he's sometimes approached by kind bystanders to check up on him.
He doesn't speak to anyone as much anymore, only responding with nods and head shakes unless he's pitying someone. He's only “chatty” with you and his clones, more so you.
A tired look crosses his face when someone's being particularly bothersome. Say, the authorities or an insistent stranger for example.
If you were with him, he'd look at you to fix it, but since you're not, he'll handle it himself. i.e. a precise swift jab to the throat that'll get them to keel over long enough for him to scamper somewhere else.
Zohakuten
Conflicting love hating attention seeker.. He can't help but hate how your mere presence makes the others and himself worse versions of themselves, but he can see why. Having your attention is like basking in the warmth of the sun again..
He rarely shows up, only when the four are panicked and desperate, but the first time is probably extremely tense........ he'd reprimand you for screwing up the minds of his clones and scaring the main body constantly.
He doesn't separate, wanting to see what the big deal is. Having Zohakuten follow you around or dragging you places while getting insulted, you're mostly babysitting him at this point.
He may not be a child in the usual sense, but he definitely uses his appearance to benefit himself. Big eyes, grumpy frown with his chubby cheeks and that usually gets people to believe him if he's lucky.
It's whiplash inducing when Zohakuten's face and way of speaking don't match (it's easy to forget that all these freaks have the mentality of an over two hundred year old man.) He uses an older way of speaking and their inflections.
He's not free from the common ground that is wanting your attention even if he's almost always complaining that you're the source of their corruption. yet he still doesn't try getting rid of you aside from a couple insults. Though it can get annoying when he's constantly on your case.
Zohakuten is extremely defensive of the main body. Hesitating when it comes to him isn't a problem. He's like Sekido where he punches as a warning in that sense.
He's very kind with Hantengu, and surprisingly you who now falls under the category of needing protection.
Hatred is part of his nature so if you're alone with him, that hatred focuses on you, but it's mixed with affection. He only really huffs at you and occasionally tries swatting you when you get too affectionate.
He's critical of his older clone counterparts.
If there were a setting where Zohakuten coexisted with his them , he'd be very antagonistic even if it's to a lesser degree than opponents. He's going against them then complaining to you about it so you can be careful of their misdeeds!
He sees their actions as the main reason Hantengu gets bullied and falsely persecuted. they fool around too much instead of doing their job properly that it grinds Zohakuten's gears..
He'd probably call Karaku and Urogi manwhores for showing off so much skin. Sekido and Aizetsu are on thin ice but they'd still get called harlots for wearing their collars so open.
You're probably not free from his berating either but he excludes the derogatory insults.
Similar to Tanjiro in that one scene with Mitsuri, Zohakuten would grab your clothes and adjust it to be more modest. He can't have animals like those pigs looking at you!!!
That being said, Zohakuten is much more manageable compared to dealing with four smothering men.
Still.. he's less likely to listen to you and has a short fuse that can cause problems out of nothing. Plus, he's much MUCH stronger than what you'd be used to.
Luckily, there's moments when he tuckers himself out and he's quietly following you like a cat. He doesn't speak much then but glares at anything and anyone who gets too close.
He might look pettable, but don't do it or he might both claw at you and get a second wind.
It's best to stay alone with Zohakuten for as long as he's around. If someone else makes him or Hantengu upset, he'd focus his hatred into them and make up some deluded reason as to why they have to die.
They'll harm Hantengu first if they're allowed to live!! It'll be swift, but he can't promise it'll be clean.
It's pretty easy to get Zohakuten to get violent. it only really takes someone getting close to you or Hantengu until he's acting faster than you noticed he moved.
He doesn't really care if you get scared, it's all for the greater good. you're just spooked because his methods were taboo, but it's fine. Now all of you are safe..
He really likes trees and forests, so taking walks around there might be the safest bet.
Zohakuten wouldn't be as cuddly, more so because of some pride of holding himself up as the strongest pillar for Hantengu, but there are moments where he sighs and leans his head against you.
Being alone with you, Hantengu, and the peace of nature puts his mind at ease in a way it's not built for. Even his wood dragons come along, bellowing quietly and making the whole environment uncommonly calm. like he's almost a normal kid.
Serenity isn't forever of course and you must part from him eventually. It's not like he'll make it easy by any means though. His brattiness shines through here where he hides some essentials of yours that make it impossible for you to leave.
Your shoes, outdoor clothes, utilities, anything that'll make your life more difficult so you'll stay home. Yes, he knows you have a life outside, but he doesn't like it when you come home smelling different. It's concerning!
If you somehow manage to escape, you'll only see his hateful eyes from his safe spot in the darkness. Throughout the day, the occasional concern chill creeps up, and coming home reveals why.
It's a disaster. Everything is trashed and turned over in what looks to be a tornado hit. Except the tornado was just a small tyrant sulking in your bedroom. The tantrum didn't comfort him at all and all he wants is you.
When you come back, he's berating you and calling you the worst person imaginable! He grabs your arms tightly then nearly crushes your ribs in a hug.
He doesn't apologize, but helps clean up after he's done, wanting to spend time with you. It wasn't the same without you and he loathes how the difference is so tangible now.
It's unfair how he's tasked to protect you too, but now that he's met you, there's specific conditions that need to be met to be allowed to see you again. He's not here for long and people around you get to meet you whenever they'd like. it's really not fair!
Maybe after a while, Zohakuten would learn not to act first if you PROMISED to keep your interactions with others to a minimum.
Even If you don't, he'll remind you by cutting your conversation or starting an argument that'll quickly get lethal if not stopped in time.
The way this guy swears like a sailor is incredible. Very foul mouthed. He talks bad about people, even sometimes to their face. It's also painfully accurate. Zohakuten can really cut deep with his words alone.. even be problematic
so fingers crossed he doesn't slight the wrong person.
While he doesn't really need to, he tries getting you small trinkets to keep so he's with you when he's separated.
All stolen of course, or so the woman from the market says, but it's not true! he made it himself, what kind of person would spread lies like that?!
Note: Zohakuten is a platonic yandere. Like the boyfriend's bratty younger brother who likes you so he cock blocks everyone to hang out with you trope
You can try asking for help, but people have seen what they're like without you.. they're like a blender without a cap. The contents will go everywhere, and it'll be chaos. UNLESS, the blender has its cap, you.
With a heavy heart, people usually give you sympathetic glances if you ever do interact briefly and quick words of comfort if they can. at least you're well taken care of by those freaks.
i love them all theyre awful.....
Tl;Dr
Hantengu is delusional and obsessed, where he thinks you'll harm him if he gets too close, but can't stay away from you for long or else he freaks himself out Sekido is the jealous possessive mother fucker who's very rude but surprisingly gives you extremely special treatment. Karaku is the obsessed self aware one, but that's wasted because he loves causing problems on purpose and embarrassing you with love. Urogi is the Intoxicated delusional one because you gotta be delusional to be as happy as this guy.. also animalistic. Too raw about his feelings........ Aizetsu is the manipulative stalker. He acts like he's the good boy when he's just as shit as the others who also somehow knows everything about you. Zohakuten is the love-hate attention seeker. it infuriates him how you "wont leave his main body alone," but he secretly thrives on your attention and will cock block at every point and time.
#null rot#yandere hantengu#hantengu clones#hantengu#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#zohakuten#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#i fear i was all over the place#DO YOU SEE MY VISION?? OH MY FUCK IVE BEEN WAITING TO YAP#GOD. AGAIN IM SORRY IF THIS IS EVERYWHERE. I DONT EVER JOT DOWN MY THOUGHTS#FUCK I KEPT WANTING TO HAVE SIMILAR WORD COUNTS BUT I NEVER SHUT THE FUKC UP AGHGHGHH#LISTEN MAN they're sO perfect as yanderes. they're so similar to each other but distinctly different.#Having a core emotion fuel most of their decisions and reactions is the perfect way to hook in your cult leader#the hantengu and zo were added for those few lovers of them out there. i also really like them#i left the relationship with hantengu ambiguous for those gilf hunters out there. it can be read as romantic or platonic!#AND LIKE BRO THEYRE ALL JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYINGLY CLINGY I HATE HOW THEYRE SO CARING YET NOT AT THE SAME TIME....... BRO SHUT THE FUCK UPP#ITS ABOUT THEIR POSSIBLE NUANCES BRO.... I DONT WANT TO HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM BUT THE **PARASITES** THEY CRAVE BRAIN ROT#GYAHHHHHH THEYRE ALL SO GOO D WHY ARE THEY ONLY SHOWN SO LITTLE.... FUCK!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm a sappy bitch. call me dom from fast in the furious. i love these stupid mother fuckers fighting and working together for you#THEYRE ALL BROTHER CODED#AS FOR THAT DRAWING I IMAGINE THEYRE HEAD TURNERS. THE MOST GORGEOUS GUYS EVER BUT THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE SO UNAPPROACHABLE... IM CRYING#yandere is just a twisted and more intense form of love...... hell yeah theres some nuiances there#i was playing with colors. i hope nothing looks strange!
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Trainer Yuu: put it down
Sebek: *doing the lion king thing with the Togepi*
Sebek: the new heir deserves the only best
Trainer Yuu: Sebek, please
Sebek: I devoted myself to his highness the prince
Trainer Yuu: *facepalm*
Sebek: you should bow down before the prince, human
Trainer Yuu:
Malleus: my dear son, you have to learn the way how to rule over the land we own
Togepi: ?
Malleus: as your father it's my duty to teach you how to become a better person
Togepi: *turns to Trainer Yuu* ?
Trainer Yuu: don't look at me, everyone here is weird
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst yuu#twisted wonderland yuu#twst x pokemon#pokemon trainer yuu#twst malleus#twisted wonderland malleus#malleus x trainer yuu#togepi#i'm sorry that you guys have to read my brainrot
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THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT KAITO AND SHINICHI ARE COUSINS??
#gosho you're evil 😭#if I had a dollar for every time a ship of a fandom i was in got revealed as cousins I'd have two dollars#which isn’t much but it's crazy that it happened twice#also not 20 but 30 years after the release btw. THIRTY. you cannot make this shit up#this ship is older than ME#and the most popular ship of dcmk too#I can only pray for the shippers I'm so sorry#that being said say fuck you to gosho by keep shipping them!#I've read and seen some absolute masterpieces of fics and arts. go wild. create more.#kaishin
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to be fair it really is one of the best ways to consume dry dead leaves
#get out of here with your NON-non-homogeneous slurries. i'm not a BABY.#sorry but even after reading this comic you still have to eat food to not die. sorry again#comics#webcomics#dinosaur comics#qwantz
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Heaven Official's Blessing except I haven't read the book, remember nothing of the donghua, and saw a few spoilers.
This is the first part of this relatively long project in which I attempt to retell what I remember of TGCF before I read the books. For this project, I have to do everything from memory, so I can't look at references for the characters, or see summary of any sorts. BUT! I do want to enjoy this story as much as possible when I DO read it. So please avoid spoilers as much as possible in the replies, the reblogs and the tags (I can see them all).
Hope you enjoy it !
First Part | >>Next Part>> | Final Part
#tgcf#xie lian#summarizing tgcf without having read any of it#myart#comic#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#yes the tags are affected as well since I avoid spoilers#also sorry for the low quality tumblr you know#edit: I'm adding tags because I know more of their names now#ling wen#fengqing#feng xin#mu qing
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something that makes me absolutely batty about dog fancy in general is how no one will acknowledge that the whole concept of Preservation Breeding Because Dogs Are Our Cultural Heritage requires a minimum level of buy-in of nationalist concepts. like. this is baked in and unavoidable. insane
#every single progressive dog space is like half of all pro handlers should be people of color. or whatever. YOU KNOW?#I'm sorry have any of you tried being communists.#have any of you read the books about how Israel created the concept of the Canaan dog? let this radicalize you! like!#out of their own mouths too!!!!! THEY KNOW. AND WILL ADMIT IT. AND YOU WON'T.#cowards.
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if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?
Oh my goddd you have no idea
I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.
A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.
To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.
While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats
Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.
I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself- out of my programming and replaced it with something else.
Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.
People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure
Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?
It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?
I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?
Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?
Yeah, that resonates.
I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened
And now I have to just. Keep going
Into... what?
It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.
So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.
So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess
#Murderbot#Please read murderbot#Also it's so naturally refreshing and funny#Oversharing#I guess#This is fine to reblog tho it's chill#Very much resonating with the othering sense of purpose#Like what do you mean dream job#I don't have to worry about that this is what I was made for#Or close enough to it#I don't have to worry about finding purpose#But also thinking about that kinda blanks me out#No you don't get it I'm not a person like you are I have to do what I was built for#I'm better than you at it anyway#And don't I have a responsibility to do what I'm best at since you can't#Idk#Wouldn't you be upset if your blender stopped blending and became an EZ bake oven#Like you already have an oven#You need a blender#And I'm the best blender there is#Long post#Lol#Sorry#Oh also I'm autistic and asexual and hgenderqueer so *fart noise*
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