#i'm sorry op i got carried away

[purplink8]

#bro’s entire worldview got rearranged #like he’s objectively good w academics? the existence of shinigami and the ethics of killing and the ways to value life suddenly #it turns everything he knows and everything he’s good at on it’s head #suddenly the physical world and science dont work the way theyre supposed to #philosophy and theology are rendered useless in the face of gods who dont care #and he NEEDS to know there’s something still within his control. theres still an objective good and bad and that it DOES matter #bc otherwise? he has to completely rearrange himself anyway and that is Too Much for naive teen boy

tags via @instantmilktee

YES. Light had grown up being told by everyone how 'we can count on Light!' like he was really really not accustomed to minor failures let alone a gigantic failure of accidentally killing two people.

He had the choice to either:

a) accept that he fucked up and live with the fact that the former virtuous best student of Japan was a murderer (even if it was by accident: he didn't think that the Death Note worked before he tried it on)

b) deny that it was all a mistake coz Light Yagami never makes mistakes (not on such an enormous scale that is), rationalize his actions to the point such that his killings served a purpose actually- his actions were not accidental or evil or contradictory to his morals- but in fact necessary to rid the world of evil (he HAS to convince himself that it was deliberate to rid the possibility of him making a mistake)

You can guess which option Light (our boy who wants to be righteous at all costs and who CANNOT bear to be labeled a murderer) opted to choose.

And even then he was so guilt-ridden that he thought he was gonna die for his wrongdoing so he decided to make the most of the time he was alive before a Shinigami arrived to claim his life. He wished to make sure his life of mere 17 years had a purpose. Before his punishment, he wanted to ensure that his actions (killings) mattered.

So, of course, he proceeded to kill many many other criminals until Ryuk arrived. He was (according to him) going to be killed for God's sake. You could argue that Light wanted to be punished- to die like a martyr for his cause.

However, as we all know, that doesn't happen. Ryuk not only tells him that he won't be killed, he also tells him that all people, regardless of the morality of their actions, after death go to Mu (neither Heaven nor Hell). There is no divine being out there to judge anyone's morality here; there's only apathetic Shinigami who simply kill humans to lengthen their own life spans. In other words, there is no divine order.

And Light refused that. If there wasn't order, he'd make order. Otherwise he'd have to confront the fact that all his actions (his more than hundred kills in a matter of days) were meaningless as Ryuk is not there to tell him if he's good or bad.

So, he has to carve out meaning in a world if only for his own sanity.

You know what, yeah. There’s all this talk about calling into question Light Yagami’s mental health to understand why he’d end up the way he is in canon.

But I can’t help but feel like that kind of discussion takes for granted how emotionally and psychology heavy and mind bending not only unintentionally killing two people is, but having reality as you know it entirely shifted by the knowledge that it’s fully possible to smite somebody down just by writing their name down in a magical book.

The existential implications of this when you’ve lived your whole life not even believing in the supernatural otherwise is a lot. I think I’d go absolutely mad instantly, too.

Everybody else in the series has the benefit of growing desensitized to this phenomenon over a period of time from a distance whereas Light is the first to find out and has to deal with it head on right in front of his face. Yeah, I’d be not okay in the head.

[wolves-in-the-world]

tags on krakenartificer's post about a leverage au where nate enters the priesthood but ends up running cons for people who come to him for help anyway:

#now i need a crossover episode of catholic priest nate who's still running leverage style shenanigans #with father brown [via @trivalentlinks]

thank you for making me stare at the wall in fascination and horror about this crossover

they'd be occasional allies occasional confidantes they'd go behind each other's backs once or twice and only kinda regret it. This nate hasn't gone through the same loss as in canon, but that wouldn't make him a whole lot softer, so he'd be fundamentally irritated with father brown - his tested and unshakeable belief and his optimism about the human condition - and father brown would be generally concerned about everyone on nate's end, and nate not the least of it. They'd play chess together and be fairly well-matched. They'd visit each other's confessionals to check in.

we'd get some interesting acknowledgement of father brown's "I'm nice and simple and harmless" grift (which I could also call power negativity) which is only kind of a grift because he really is that nice and harmless beneath, except that he uses it to get information from people.

flambeau would be utterly thrilled and (playfully?) insulted not to be father brown's only criminal associate.

the leverage crew would be correctly suspicious of flambeau, I think, but sophie would greet him by name - possibly with a kiss to the cheek, possibly eyeing him like he's a viper in their midst - and reference some very improbable occasion when they were after the same prize. He mentions she was using a different name then; he doesn't say what it was. Bonus points if he also had his eye on the dagger in the Rashomon Job but had the flu / was unexpectedly in prison / had to attend a grandmother's funeral at the time.

I have this certainty in my mind that the leverage crew would be largely dismissive of sid's abilities and he'd kind of snort and roll his eyes about it - he's at worst a common criminal and very lower class, so he's used to being understimated - and surprise them with his connections or lock-picking or holding his own in a brawl or fixing an elderly car in the quickest dirtiest way imaginable. (Parker would decide she likes him then; the others would be reassured after seeing how gentle he is when talking with her.) He'd also nope out of leverage's business at a sensible time, because father brown's rubbed off on him and he doesn't actually want that kind of danger - unless the con's personal.

(I'm not sure whether to set this in leverage time or drag it back to father brown's 1950s so I'm settling for mashing the two together and pretending it's not an issue. See also: geography.)

… father brown would have I think one harrowing conversation with eliot where they mention their time in the military, the marks that killing people and losing people leaves on a person - father brown already does this in canon, tells someone it's unfair that they're mired in trauma and alcoholism when he found his faith through trauma instead, it floored me - and after brushing on repentance and god here, he wouldn't bring it up with eliot again. (I think father brown varies on this in canon, frankly, but he often respects that kind of boundary, and I think he'd recognise a wound so sore it should be left to heal however it can.)

(yes I'm playing with fictional priests like barbie dolls but no I'm not comfortable with the conversion aspects, so apologies and bear with me while I skate on past that.)

(he'd describe eliot as a good person, once, or as someone working very hard at it. Eliot would be on edge about that for the entire con, finding a little too much uneasy satisfaction in getting to knock people out and play the bad guy - play at the simpler stuff he used to do. Sophie might catch father brown for a word about it; father brown wouldn't be that clumsy again.)

I think father brown and nate would both talk bunty out of getting involved in a joint kembleford-leverage operation except in the most innocent way possible. The problem is she actually would make a good getaway driver, and she's thrilled with the idea, but she's already had some run-ins with the press and the law and can't risk another; luckily she's better used as a distraction elsewhere.

and I'm sorry to do this, but I think lady felicia's husband would be a mark or potential mark at one point. It would be fraught.

(the main reason I haven't recommended father brown's heist episode (s7e10), aside from not having a background on the politics in it, is that it shows lady felicia as a victim and pulls the heist on her behalf. The show largely convinced me to ignore the messy reality of her and her husband's inherited wealth, but that episode made me kinda uncomfortable - which is a shame, because seeing these characters pull a heist was fucking great.)

mrs mccarthy would be used against her will or knowledge as a distraction while someone's pockets are picked. She isn't told until afterwards, and then only half by accident. She is, of course, horrified. Father brown was absolutely the one to suggest it in planning, but flambeau slips in mid-apology to smoothly take the blame.

I could in fact go on and this is in fact a problem.

—

editing to continue:

I'm actually thinking that father brown might approach eliot from an ex-military angle and not a Religious Authority angle at all - eliot was raised protestant, after all, and it's an entirely different vibe. And I have to think eliot's guarded around father brown for the very fact that he's a priest and seems to mean it in a way that nate, I feel, wouldn't. So they may avoid the topic entirely, or as close to it as they can when brushing on, well, eliot's entire moral injury situation. Which is good news for me.

bunty would admire parker for being different and capable and getting up to exciting things, though would probably fail at any attempts at friendship until she thinks to ask what parker likes doing and ends up learning to pick pockets that evening. The second those two are around buildings tall enough to rappel down she's in danger. (The second parker can slip away at night she's giving the church a go; father brown gives her a look the night before and quietly warns her about the dodgy roof.)

mrs mccarthy decides fairly quickly that hardison is a very nice young man (his nana instincts are online and functional) even if he spends far too much time on the wretched computer. She's determined to feed him and half the time he's determined to find ways to politely refuse, though the strawberry scones are actually pretty good.

she's appalled by eliot's job, and fiercely territorial of her kitchen when he offers help, even just cleaning up, but once she's seen him get in the way of trouble she's absolutely catching his arm and half hiding behind him in any crisis real or perceived. (She still doesn't approve of him.)

lady felicia sees hardison and eliot as two very different kinds of novelties and does some talking to hardison about tech (mostly listening and marveling) and some quietly ogling both of them, and especially eliot once she's seen him fighting. (Eliot unfortunately turned on his charm when he realised she sort of expected it. She doesn't get to chat with charming southern gents all that often - it's very shallow, and she's not serious about it.)

thank goodness bunty's too young for eliot so I don't have to go there. He has to tuck her out of sight in a barn at some point when trouble's headed their way; when the mess is almost cleaned up and she's grabbed a rifle from somewhere to tell the the remaining goon to clear off, with every appearance of competence, eliot takes it from her and disarms it with a smear of blood under his nose and a slightly betrayed expression.

hardison and sid get along, aside from a little initial insecurity on the parker front, and get to bitch a bit about flambeau, who hardison mistrusts from the start.

flambeau... he admires parker, from a distance - professionally and not very effusively - but after he watches her work for a while he seems to realise who she was trained by, and tells her as much. He says he was too, for a very short time, and it's unclear if he'd gain anything from making it up. Says that he and archie had a difference of opinion - and has a way of saying it that implies there might have been fire involved.

[urmum-lovesme]

Angel Baby - Rafe Cameron x Kook!reader P8

pairing: Best Friend!Rafe Cameron x Kook!Best-Friend!reader

summary: Rafe and Reader have known each other since kindergarten, always side by side, the king and princess of Figure 8. So why now does he start feeling different towards her, when all she's ever been is his best friend?

a/n: Did someone say angst? I'm sorry but I had to :( Let's see, things are a little awkward cause Rafe couldn't keep it in his pants, our boy has a new competitor and well... it's a pretty nasty ending ngl. My poor poor y/n I just want to give her a hot chocolate and tuck her into bed. I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the interactions with my writing, it makes me so happy to share my thoughts with you <3

ENJOY YOUR NEW YEARS!!!! STAY SAFE I LOVE YOU ALL XOXO -Lula ♥

warnings: ANGST!!! mentions of rafe's mother who is dead, suggestive behaviour, finger sucking, mentions of giving head, mentions of slitting someones wrists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three weeks had passed since Midsummers. Three long treacherous weeks, since Rafe let things go too far, since he’d taken a step he couldn’t undo. It made him ache with regret, the guilt gnawed at him, biting at his insides every time he thought about that moment in the car when he’d crossed a line he knew changed their friendship completely. Every time he saw her name on his phone or heard her voice, he felt the weight of that night pressing down on him all over again. It wasn’t just about the guilt of what he’d done, though that was bad enough—it was the way he'd let things spiral. He had buried himself in the family business, using it as the perfect excuse to avoid her. The demands of the Cameron legacy were endless, and it’d never been easier to lose himself in it. His father’s expectations were high, and with the constant pressure to maintain the family's image, finding a way to keep away from the girl was easy.

Avoidance had felt like the only answer, but tonight, she’d called him over to meet up. She didn’t specify only sent him a short message;

Princess  :  Get to mine at 4 please???

Princess  :  And if Ward tells you to work I’ll come over and slit his wrists :)

He knew she was fed up with his petty excuses, and he couldn't blame her. This was the longest that they’d been apart from each other, the last time being two years ago when she went to Bali for the summer, even then they’d talked every day.

He rang the doorbell as he stood on the girl's porch, hands shoved deep into his pockets fiddling with the empty gum wrapper, trying to relax, but there was no calm to be found. 

It's fine, she doesn’t know what you’ve done and she doesn’t remember the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n shoved the container into the little wooden basket, covering it with a red gingham towel. She’d realised that Rafe had been distant with her but she assumed it was his father’s fault. Truth be told she didn’t remember much from midsummers, the last thing being Rafe carrying her to the beach. It’s not that it worried her, she knew she could trust the boy, she always has. Yet the way he was acting with her, short answers, unanswered calls, it made her feel like she’d done something wrong. However, his absence worked in her favour as she knew Rafe didn’t know what she’d planned for the day, the only thing he got from her was a message telling him to come over. Just as she placed the basket near the door, there was a knock.

He raised his hand to the front door, and rapped his knuckles against the hard wood a couple of times again, hoping that maybe she’d forgotten and he could go home. He heard her footsteps walking towards the door, the sound of it unlocking before it swung open to reveal her standing there. His breath hitched in his throat as his eyes roamed over her. Her lips drew into a smile as she saw the boy standing there on the other side of the door.

Breathe 

“Hey angel baby.” She joked as she opened the door wider for him to come in. 

Missed you

“Hey princess” he replied, smiling slightly as he stepped through the door, the sound of it closing softly behind him.

Just stay calm, she’s clueless

“I’m actually ready to go.” She spoke up as she slipped her trainers on her feet breaking the silence between them, standing up straight as she grabbed the basket off the floor and her car keys which lay on the table near the doors. Her eyes landed on the boy standing by the doorway, shoulders at unease. 

“You look a little tense, you good?” 

Rafe exhaled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, the motion awkward, almost unsure. 

“Yeah, just... long week.” 

He shrugged it off, though the words felt false. His father’s business had been a convenient distraction, but that didn’t make the guilt any easier to ignore. He should’ve stayed away longer-  for a brief second, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for this. Y/N, still holding the car keys in her hand, tilted her head, studying him. There was an odd quietness in the air, the kind that settled between them like an unsaid word. She could tell something was off. He was too guarded, too distant, and she had learned to read him better than that over the years.

"You sure?" She pressed, taking a small step toward him, her eyes never leaving his face. 

“I mean, if you’re not feeling it today, we can always—”

“No,"

Rafe interrupted quickly, a little too fast. He cleared his throat, forcing a more genuine smile this time. "No, it’s fine. Just... a lot on my mind, you know?” He raked a hand through his hair, a motion that felt more defensive than usual. He wanted to tell her. But he couldn’t. It was easier to shut down, to lie, to pretend nothing had changed, that things were still as they were before. 

Before everything had gotten well, messy.

Y/N didn’t seem convinced. Her eyes narrowed slightly, the concern evident, but she didn’t push it any further. Instead, she offered him a soft smile, the kind that always made his chest tighten, like she was silently giving him space without making him feel like a complete asshole.

“Alright,”

she said, finally breaking the moment, her voice lighter. “-oh wait…” she spoke up as she jogged quickly to the kitchen, grabbing something in her hand and slipping it secretly Into the basket. He watched her carefully as she grabbed the basket and her keys off the table, his brows raising in slight worry. Why did she have a basket?

“Ok.. I’m guessing you’re not telling me where we’re going?” he asked, as he followed her out to her car.

This is awkward

She shrugged her shoulders as she took the steps down towards her car, opening it up and placing the basket into the back seat, slipping into the driver's seat.

He rolled his eyes at her obvious closed off behavior and opened the passenger seat, getting into the car and instantly being engulfed in the familiar smell of her. He had to swallow down the lump in his throat as he settled, clipping the seatbelt in and turning to her slightly the girl speaking up before he had a chance,

“You’re being weird right now”

“No im not. I’m completely casual right now.” He mumbled out as he raised his brows, fingers fiddling with the buttons on the car, music soon filling the car. 

“You’ve never been casual Rafe. And I can tell somethings wrong because you’ve been acting weird ever since Midsummers”

Rafe’s stomach flipped at the mention of that night. He’d tried to block it out, bury it under layers of busy work and fake nonchalance, but Y/N had a way of bringing everything to the surface, whether he liked it or not.

Well shit

“Did I… did I do something wrong?” She asked, voice softer now as she turned to look at him, hands slipping off the wheel to rest in her lap.

For a moment, Rafe didn’t speak. He couldn’t. He was too busy trying to suppress the guilt that surged up, threatening to choke him.

He cleared his throat, trying to mask the panic clawing at him, then forced a shaky smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No,” he said, his voice hoarse, like he was trying to swallow down the words that were begging to come out. 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Y/N didn’t look convinced. She was too perceptive and definitely too smart to fall for his half-hearted reassurance. Her silence was enough of an answer, but when he glanced back at her, he saw the crease in her forehead, the slight downturn of her lips. She asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me in, Rafe.”

He knew, deep down, that she deserved the truth, but there was something inside of him that just couldn’t let go. He closed his eyes for a moment, running a hand over his face in frustration.

“I’m fine,” he said, more firmly this time, “Really. Just... dealing with some stuff- family stuff.”

She nodded her head silently as the car hummed with the sound of the engine now, the road beneath them nothing but a blur as they drove, her eyes focused ahead, her fingers gripping the wheel again.

“Right well…” she licked her lips "well, can we stop with this awkward tension then?"

She let out a little laugh, trying to cut through the suffocating quiet. It wasn’t forced, but Rafe could hear the underlying edge of uncertainty in her tone, like she was waiting for him to meet her halfway. She was trying so hard to make this easier for him, so maybe it was time to get his act together. He leaned back in his seat, throwing his arm over her headrest,

"Sorry, I've been so moody lately. Think I’m about to get my period or something," he said to her as his hand came out to place over his stomach. Her hand left the wheel coming to swat the boy on the stomach, to which he let out a small ‘oof’.

“Don’t be a dick Cameron” she spoke out shaking her head, yet she couldn’t stop the smile from rising on her face. 

Much better.

“So where are we going anyways?” He looked away from the window to the girl as he leant back in his seat, letting his guard down now. 

“Listen. Can you just appreciate my effort Mr . ‘I need to know everything all the time’.“ She spoke back to him as her fingers tapped on the wheel along with the song playing in the background.

He rolled his eyes at her comment, a smirk pulling at his lips. He opened his mouth to throw back a snarky remark at the girl but was cut off, 

“Stop bitching Rafe”

She rolled her eyes at him as she turned off the main road, wheels grumbling against the stony road. The boy let out a huff as she scolded him, yet his heart fluttered as he looked away out the window, satisfied they were back to being themselves. As they drove Y/n’s phone buzzed in the cupholder, her eyes flickered down to the lit up screen before ignoring it and looking back up at the road, it buzzed again.

 Then again

The repeated buzzing of her phone in the cup holder caught the boy’s attention, turning the smirk on his lips into a frown.

“You gonna get that?” He asked quietly, turning to look at her, eyes taking in the way her fingers were starting to tap the wheel impatiently.

“No I don’t drive and tex-” she watched as the boy quickly snatched up the phone looking at the screen.

“Hey!” She protested. 

He chuckled slightly at her protest to his move, staring at the phone; it took him a second to register the name of the person blowing up her phone, frowning almost instantly, 

“Why is Cooper texting you?”

“It’s nothing.” She diverted the conversation. 

The truth was that her and Cooper had been talking more than she thought they would be in the past week, and Rafe’s absence, well she did miss him but it did make it easier for her to get to know the boy a bit better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the dance floor before she could protest. 

“Come on, we’re dancing now.”

Y/N laughed, stumbling slightly as he tugged her along. “I told you, I can’t dance,” she said, half protesting, half entertained. “I’m more of a ‘stay in the corner and judge the people who actually can’ kind of person.”

Cooper shot her a mischievous grin. “Oh, no way. You’re not getting out of this that easily. I’ve seen you at parties, Y/N. You’ve got moves.”

“You’ve seen me at parties?” Y/N raised an eyebrow, her voice playful. 

“That’s a little creepy, don’t you think?”

Cooper only shrugged as he pulled her along. “Creepy or not, I know what I’m talking about. You’re not fooling anyone. Let’s see you break out some of that hidden talent.”

Before she could respond, the boy spun her, his hand lightly resting on her waist as he twirled her around with more confidence than actual skill. Y/N stumbled a little, laughing as she tried to regain her balance. “I told you I can’t do this,” she teased, but her voice was light, the playful tension between them clear.

“You’re fine,” Cooper said, laughing too as he pulled her closer again. 

“Yeah, right,” Y/N replied with a smirk. “I think I might need a lesson or two.” She rested her hands on his shoulders, a hint of flirtation in her tone.

“I guess I could be convinced to teach you... for a price.”

Cooper looked down at her, raising an eyebrow hopefully to her as she spoke up,

“Oh yeah? And what’s the price?”

“Maybe your number…?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He raised his brows, now feeling an emotion other than guilt which seemed to disappear the instant he saw the boy’s name, .... anger, …jealousy? They’d been talking and he had no idea about it? 

He didn’t like it. At all.

His grip on the phone grew tighter as he looked at her, his eyes almost glaring,

“Bullshit”

“Jesus Rafe, I’m just talking to the guy. It’s not like I’m sucking his dick.” She rolled her eyes at him scoffing. His attitude from the moment they met this morning had been off and now it was just getting worse and it was starting to irritate her.

His eyes widened at her words, clenching his jaw to stop himself from saying anything stupid. The image popped into his mind again, of her on her knees, yet this time it was different because he hated it. 

“Well, it wouldn’t surprise me”

He said, his voice low, almost a growl, but heavy with sarcasm and bitterness. Y/N froze. Her mouth parted in disbelief, eyes wide.

“Excuse me?” she said, her voice sharp with confusion.

“You heard me.”

The words left his mouth with an edge that made his insides twist, but he couldn’t stop himself. He knew what he was saying was childish and irrational. But he couldn’t care less. If there was one thing he couldn’t do, it was accept the fact Cooper of all people was getting her attention and she wasn’t telling him about it.

She finally shook her head, the frustration clear in her voice. “What the hell is wrong with you, Rafe?” Her words hit him like a cold slap, cutting through the fog of his jealousy for a moment. 

“You’ve been acting weird all day, but now this? I’m just talking to him. He’s my fucking friend, okay? I didn’t know I needed your approval”

He wanted to apologize, to backpedal, but his pride kept him rooted to the spot. Instead, his thoughts simply spiralled, and before he could even make sense of what he was feeling, he blurted out,

“I don’t care if he’s your friend,” his voice tight, his frustration seeping through. 

“You didn’t tell me about him. That’s what I care about.”

“You haven’t spoken to me for three weeks!?” 

Her voice broke slightly on the last word, a mix of disbelief and frustration lacing it as she brought the car to a stop, shifting it into park, stopping just outside an opening of trees. She undid her seat belt. He got out of the car after her, irritation still thrumming through his body. He slammed the door shut with probably a little more force than necessary and followed her out into the trees. Basket in her hand she whipped around to look at him after she heard the car door slam. His jaw was clenched tight, his arms crossed across his chest as he stared down at her. Every bone in his body was thrumming with anger and annoyance, every cell in his brain screaming at him to say the stupid, irrational things he was thinking but instead he settled for shooting her a glare,

“And now you bring me out to the middle of nowhere. What are we doing out here?” He all but spat out.

“Can you not?” 

She spoke softer now, no longer angered by his fury but more upset, she’d gone out of her way for him and he was being cruel, incredibly cruel.

“I’ve tried to organise this for you because I've missed you. And you’re treating me like some shitty ex you don’t want to see.”

He was about to say something stupid again, but he bit it back before the words could leave. The disappointment in her eyes made his chest tighten painfully, but the jealousy and anger was burning through his chest, and he couldn’t get it to stop. 

“I’m sorry I just-” 

“-talk to me please?” 

“I’ve just been-” he looked at the girl, he knew he had to admit to her so he might as well tell her what’s been going on, there’s nothing else he could say.

“-struggling with my counselling” 

You’re a fucking liar 

“Oh...” she placed the basket on the floor, arms wrapped around the boy as she noticed him avoiding her. She rubbed his back slowly as she spoke,

“It’s okay i’m sure that there som-” 

You’re sick 

Her words faded, dissolving into a quiet hum in his ears. All he could focus on was the softness of her, her warmth, the way her body seemed to melt against his, trying to soothe him, to reassure him that everything would be okay; but the more she held him, the worse it got. 

“Right?” She looked to him head tilted slightly

What?

“Uh yeah.” He nodded back as he watched her take a step back from him, his hand came up to scratch the back of his neck, his skin having gotten hot under his touch. Although, however much he tried to push away the burning question he couldn’t stop himself and the words tumbled past his lips,

“Why are you talking to him?” 

He asked gruffly, slowly rubbing a hand across his face before looking down at the ground.

“Why can’t I talk to him Rafe.” She spoke with a gentle voice. 

What is going on right now 

“I just-“ 

“Can we drop this please?” She looked up to him “-it’s just going to ruin our day…”

Y/n was starting to think that the day was already ruined, maybe this whole outing was a bad idea, maybe she should’ve just taken him to the country club..? That would’ve been easier. The usual routine- drinking, mingling with people, keeping the conversation light and predictable. At least that way, she wouldn’t have to deal with this awkwardness, with his brooding silence and the strange, almost hostile energy he was radiating.

He’s being so… bizarre?

“Let's drop it..” He muttered out clearing his throat, breaking the silence which lingered between them. If he was going to be with her for the next few hours he guessed it was time he started being a little less, irrational. She nodded as she leant over to pick up the basket, head turning back to look at him.

“You coming?”

“I’m coming.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets, his muscles starting to relax a little as they walked deeper into the trees together. The rustling of leaves beneath their feet was the only sound between them now, the sharp crack of twigs beneath his boots grounding him in the moment. It was quiet, and for the first time in a long while, the air between them wasn’t thick with tension. Maybe it was the isolation of the forest or the way the sunlight filtered softly through the trees, but something felt less suffocating. Y/n occasionally bumped her shoulder into the boy’s as they walked, easing the tension between them. They walked a while out before she stopped him turning around and facing him.

“Okay so…”  She looked down to the basket in her hands before up to him rocking back and forth on her heels slightly.

“I kinda sorta need to like…. Blindfold you…?” 

She said, her voice trailing off. His brows shot up in surprise at the request. 

Blindfold? 

His mouth opened slightly as he tried to process what she was asking. The moment was so unexpected, so out of nowhere that his mind had to catch up with the words. His gaze flicked from her face to the basket she was still holding. 

“You wanna blindfold me?” He asked, an amused tone in his voice.

“Yeah…” She spoke out hand reaching into the basket and pulling out a silky scarf of hers which she held up. She had to purse her lips to stop herself from smiling. He chuckled as he watched her hold up a scarf, his eyes flickering from the item in her hands back to her face.

“Why exactly do you need to blindfold me princess?” He asked, eyes narrowed curiously.

“It’s a… surprise?” She spoke out as she placed the basket down onto the floor.

His eyes flickered from the basket on the ground, to the scarf in her hands and he took a step closer to her.

“A surprise” he repeated back to her, his eyes trained on the scarf she held up.

“So..?” She spoke out as she rounded to stand behind him placing the silk material in front of the boy.

He shook his head humorously as she stood behind him, hands gently touching his shoulders. He couldn’t help a slight shiver run through his body at her proximity, he leaned back slightly, his head tilting back to look at her,

“Alright, whatever you say..” He said quietly, more than a little bemused by the situation.She lifted the scarf to his eyes covering them and tying it gently.

“S’this okay?” 

He closed his eyes as the soft material of her scarf was placed over them. The sudden loss of sight made his other senses kick into overdrive, and he shifted in his spot slightly as every brush of her fingers felt heightened. 

“It's fine princess”

She let out a hum in response as she picked up the basket taking his hand and leading him forward. He felt the subtle pressure of her hand in his, her palm fitting so perfectly against his, his large calloused fingers intertwined with her smooth ones. He let her guide him forward, his eyes covered by the scarf meaning he had to trust her completely.

"Careful," she mumbled, her voice a soft and breathy as she guided him through the dense forest. He felt her fingers tighten around his for a moment, pulling him a little to the left, avoiding an unseen obstacle. They came to a stop and she dropped his hand slowly and turned to him, 

“M’kay you can take it off…” She said, her voice quiet, laced with an unspoken anxiety that she couldn’t quite shake. 

Rafe reached up and pulled the blindfold from his eyes. The cool air hit his skin, and briefly he blinked against the light, his vision adjusting slowly to the shift in brightness.

It took him a moment, but when his eyes finally cleared, he looked ahead—and then froze.

His gaze swept over the sight before him, as though he were unsure if he was hallucinating. They were standing in a small clearing in the middle of the trees, but the thing that really caught his attention was the small, weathered wooden structure standing in front of them, tucked away amongst the trees. It leant just slightly to one side, the paint faded the colors dulled by time. It wasn’t much with only a small set of steps leading up to its door, but there was something undeniably nostalgic about it. Fairy lights were strung lazily by the door, which was cracked open just a bit, inviting, like it had been waiting for them to return.

"Surprise," 

she whispered, and the boy heard the smile in her voice before he even looked at her.

This wasn’t just a hut. This was their hut.

No way

The one they had found together when they were kids, hidden away in the woods. The memories came rushing back with startling clarity, those summer afternoons when they would sneak away from everything, from the adults, to build their own little secret place to get away.

"How did you… " He stuttered out in amazement, his eyes flickering from the building back to her face.

“Took me a while.” 

She spoke as she took a step towards the door encouraging him to push it open. 

“Go on,” she said, a small, nervous smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “It’s just like we left it.”

He gently pushed the old door open, creaking loudly as the hinges moved, and stepped through the doorway. He let out a sound of disbelief as he stepped further into the hut, his head swiveling, eyes wide, scanning every familiar corner. She followed after him a few steps behind to give him space. The shelves were still filled with their old toys and colouring pencils in old faded tins, football and kite stacked all atop each other, old baby dolls sitting side by side, frilly lace dresses covered in layers of dust. Everything was scattered across the shelves, jumbled together as if time had forgotten to organize them. She walked over to the small table in front of an old rickety couch, its fabric faded and worn from years of use. She placed the basket she held on top of it as she watched the boy admire their childhood playground.

He was still in a daze, his eyes flickering across the familiar surroundings of the old hut, his mind awash with memories he hadn’t thought about in years.

“This is…” 

He paused, searching for the right words, though none seemed to quite capture the enormity of what he was feeling. 

“Wow,” He finally said, his voice tinged with amazement. He ran a hand through his hair, still a little shaken by how much this place had stirred inside him.

“I can’t believe you brought me here.”

She watched him as he stopped near the wall, his gaze settling on an old picture that hung there, slightly crooked, the frame worn with time. It was when they were all much much younger; Rafe, Y/n, Topper and Kelce all standing and staring at the camera striking silly poses. The girl had her hands up behind Rafe’s head, making bunny ears as she flashed a mischievous grin at the camera. The boy, in turn, had his tongue sticking out, eyes wide with that gleam of carefree innocence. Rafe’s breath caught in his chest as he took in the photo, a soft chuckle escaping his lips, he couldn’t help it. It was a sound of genuine amusement, a laugh that felt like a brief, joyful release from the weight he’d been carrying. He stepped closer to the picture, his eyes lingering on the faces of his friends, all of them so young, before life had gotten so complicated. He reached up, running a hand along the picture frame, looking at the dusty picture, his finger coming out to whip across the glass to see it clearer.

“We were so dumb.” 

He laughed again, but this time there was something bittersweet in the sound. Y/n watched his reaction, the tenderness in her gaze softening as she joined him by the picture. She could see the way his expression shifted, how the laughter had faded just slightly as he took in the nostalgia, the way his eyes lingered on the frame.

Y/n walked up standing closely to the boy as she looked at the picture above, her, Rafe and his mother. All three together, the older woman’s arms wrapped around the two kids with a wide smile as she’s crouched next to them holding them close. A small smile lifts on the girl's lips before her eyes flicker back to the boy. He felt her presence next to him so close their shoulders were pressed together. His eyes were on the picture, taking in his mother, all of them smiling together. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"I remember this picture" 

His voice was quieter than he intended, a low murmur as he glanced down at the girl. The sadness that settled in Rafe’s chest was something he couldn’t escape. Even now, all these years later, his mom's absence felt like a heavy, lingering shadow over everything.

“So do I.” 

She spoke softly and reached up without thinking, her hand brushing over his arm as she spoke. It was a small gesture, but one that carried a sense of comfort.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June’s laughter was soft, musical, and it rang in the air, soothing, like a lullaby. Her arms were wrapped around her son, pulling him close to her; Rafe, barely old enough to appreciate the moment for what it was, squirmed a little in his mother’s embrace. He’d never liked posing for photos, always too restless to stay still, but by his mother’s side he seemed to calm.

“Come on baby, just one picture,” she coaxed gently.

Y/n stood off to the side, hands gripping wildflowers she had picked earlier, the brightly coloured flowers vibrant in her grasp. The woman, sensing the silent observer, turned her attention toward the small girl, who was still standing by the door of the hut, looking at them.

"Y/n, come on," she beckoned her with a warm smile. She hesitated for a moment, then walked forward, her small feet shuffling in the dirt as she came closer to Rafe and his mother. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but there was something comforting about the way his mother reached out to her, as if she was a part of their family.

“Look at those flowers,” June said, her voice light and filled with affection as she gently cupped the flowers in the little girl’s hands. “They’re so beautiful.”

“They’re for you,” 

The girl replied softly, her eyes lifting to meet June’s after lingering on the small flowers on the woman's dress. “I thought you’d like them...”

June’s eyes widened in surprise and delight, her heart swelling with gratitude. “Well, thank you, sweet girl,” she said, a hand resting on Y/n’s shoulder for a brief moment, the touch gentle and full of warmth before her finger pops out to ‘boop’ the girl on the nose, the child giggling in response. 

“These are perfect.”

Rafe, who had been watching the exchange between the two, let out a small smile lift to his lips. Something about seeing his mom with Y/n made him feel... content. He didn’t have the words for it, he was only six years old after all. 

June adjusted the camera sitting on the wooden steps near the door of the hut, then glanced at the two of them. 

“Alright you two, ready for the shot?”

Rafe, who had been shifting from one foot to the other, suddenly stopped and looked up at his mom with big, expectant eyes.

“Do I look good mom?” he asked, holding his arms out to the sides like he was presenting himself for approval. The woman couldn’t help but laugh softly, her heart melting at how seriously he was taking this.

 “Oh, you look great my handsome boy,” she said, her tone playful.

Rafe grinned, looking pleased with himself, June turning to Y/n with a teasing eye roll gesturing back to her son, the younger girl sending her a bashful smile.

June pressed the camera button, setting the timer, “Alright, on three…” then jogged over to the two children, kneeling down behind them and pulling them closer to her in a hug. Rafe wiggled a bit, trying to stay still long enough for the picture, while Y/n leaned into June’s side, her small smile soft and content. 

“Say cheese!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She was happy in that picture”

“She was always happy with you.” 

She spoke comfortingly before talking his hand and leading him towards the couch gesturing for him to sit down before she crouched down next to the basket pulling the towel off the top. He smiled slightly at her words before doing as she asked, the couch creaking slightly under his weight. His eyes flickered to the basket, watching as she pulled the towel off the top. 

“Close your eyes,” she spoke out as she looked up to him.

His corner of his lips twitched up her orders, he let out an amused hum before obliging, shutting his eyes tightly. The sound of a lighter clicking, once, twice filled the room before the couch dipped as she sat next to the boy.

“You can open your eyes,” she spoke ever so quietly.

Rafe’s head turned slightly towards her, his eyes flickered under her instruction, slowly opening his eyes to take in the sight in front of him. The girl sat next to him, plate in hand which held a small cake with 5 lit candles on top of it. It was lined with white icing and small cherries sat on each piped swivel of the icing around the cake. His eyes flickered to the cake in her grasp, the soft flickering of the candles making the her glisten in the dim room. 

"Is that for me?" 

He asked quietly palms feeling clammy. Y/n looked to the boy a sheepish smile on her face as she nervously spoke out,

“Um- happy 5 months clean.” 

...

She didn’t know if the boy even knew that she’d been tracking his progress. She cared about him, of course she did he’s her best friend, so when he’d told her he was stopping his relationship with the drug she observed him, although she doubted he’d noticed as she did so in silence. She’d noted each month that passed, a little star on her calendar, and now that she hadn’t seen him in a while, she thought it was a good idea to do something small to show him, that she had noticed. A wave of shock ran through him as she spoke out the words. He was stunned.

“You’ve been counting?”

He felt his heart start to thump harder in his chest, his eyes flickering from the cake to her face, slightly taken aback at the gesture.

“I-” she started to worry, overthinking that she’d overstepped a boundary, 

“I thought that I’d uh-”

His heart thumped harder against his chest, beating rapidly in his chest due to a mixture of shock, surprise and… something else, an emotion he couldn’t quite name yet. Y/n, noticing his hesitation, quickly began to pull back, her fingers fidgeting nervously around the edge of the plate.

“I shouldn’t have— I mean, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or—” 

She stammered, her voice quiet and unsure, a stark contrast to the warmth of the room. 

“I just thought it’d be... nice. You know? To mark the day.”

Rafe’s throat tightened. He hadn’t expected this, he thought, maybe foolishly, that no one cared enough to notice the small milestones he was too proud or embarrassed to admit to. But here she was. “Five months, huh?” He let out a low laugh, shaking his head.

“I didn’t even realize.”

Y/n’s eyes softened, a quiet relief settling over her features as she relaxed slightly. The tension that had gripped her melted, and she leaned back into the couch with a small exhale. 

"I’m proud of you, Rafe."

The words hung in the air between them. The phrase didn’t seem to fit him, it felt foreign, strange, like he was standing in a moment that didn’t belong to him. People didn’t say that to him. They never had. He’d spent most of his life either fighting to prove he was worthy of anything, or pretending he didn’t need anyone to tell him anything at all. His heart skipped again. It wasn’t the first time someone had said that to him, but somehow, with her, it felt different. More genuine. Less like a platitude and more like a truth. He smiled, a real smile this time, one that didn’t have to hide behind sarcasm,

 “Guess I should be proud of myself too, huh?”

Y/n's laughter was light and, like a soft wind brushing against his skin. “Yeah. You should.”

“Didn’t think I’d make it this far.”

Rafe shifted again, his chest feeling tight in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He wasn’t used to feeling like this—vulnerable, raw, with someone else’s belief in him resting so heavily in his lap.

She gave him a gentle smile, her expression tender.

“But you did.”

Now as she was sitting beside Rafe, hearing him speak those words, something inside her clicked. Her mind briefly flickered to her brother, and the wave of grief that had followed his overdose. In a strange way, she’d felt more connected with him today than she had in a long time. There had been no ‘five months clean’, no cake, no candles, they never had the chance; so being here with Rafe, celebrating his progress, somehow felt like a way of moving forward, a kind of redemption she hadn’t known she needed. Her heart tightened in her chest, and a lump rose in her throat as the weight of the moment settled over her. She had never told Rafe how much this meant to her, when he first told her he was going to quit she expressed her support, but never truly told him how much it mattered to her, not wanting to overwhelm him.

Now’s not the time for this  

She cleared her throat slightly looking down at the plate in her lap, lifting the plate up towards him passing the boy the cake, candles still flickering against the white frosting. 

“You should make a wish.”

“I’m not really the ‘wish’ type.”

 Rafe looked at the cake, his eyes rolling at the girl’s childlike antics, his lips quirking up slightly, he stared at the flickering flames for a beat, and Y/n could see him thinking.

“Maybe you should be,” she teased gently, nudging his arm with hers.

“I wish-”

“No!” 

The girl exclaimed loudly, cutting him off eye’s wide, “can’t say it out loud or it won’t come true.”

Rafe couldn’t help but raise his brows at her theatrics, “Alright, alright, relax” he said, “I’ll keep it to myself.” 

He glanced back down at the cake, the soft glow of the burning candles reflecting in his eyes. His mind wandered. He turned his gaze back to her, his lips parting slightly as if he was about to speak—but then he stopped. Instead, he let out a slow breath, his eyes tracing the outline of the cake.

I wish you knew how much you mean to me. 

Without waiting, he leaned in and blew out the candles with a quick puff of air, the small flames disappearing in a soft wisp of smoke. Y/n let out a little cheer- more of a giggle- an unexpected sound of pure joy. She clapped her hands once, as if the moment deserved a celebration.

“You made a wish and everything,” she teased, her voice light and playful now. Rafe’s chuckle was low, a smile tugging at his lips, 

“Guess I did,”

The girl next to him shuffled around in the basket on the table, 

“Don’t know if it’ll come true,” he added, “but I think it’s a pretty good one.”

Wonder what he wished for.

She pulled out two forks holding them up for the boy to see.

“Sooo.. d’you want some cake?” she spoke, Rafe chuckled again, his hand reaching out to take one of the forks, fingers brushing lightly against hers.

"I suppose we gotta try hmm?" he reached out and took one of the forks, before looking down at the cake in front of them, eyeing the little red cherries. She took the fork in her hand and digged it into the cake then held it up to the boy in an offering,

 “First bite?”

He looked at the fork in her hand, before looking up at her face, the eagerness in her eyes making his heart thump in his chest. He let out a small hum before he spoke out in a somewhat joking manner,

“Are you feeding me?”

“You got a problem?” 

She raised her brow playfully. He let out a small huff in response, his eyes flickering over her face. He let a slow smile spread across his face.

"No, I have no problem with that at all princess." 

He replied, opening his mouth waiting for the bite. She brought the fork towards him watching as his lips wrapped around it tasting the dessert piled on it. He held a gaze on her as his lips wrapped around the fork, taking a bite of the cake. He pulled the fork from his mouth, letting out a small hum as the sweetness of the treat coated his tongue. He let out a content hum, a small smile still on his face.

"That’s real good." He mumbled out swallowing, his eyes flickering to the cake on the plate in front of them.

“I’d hope, worked my ass off on it” She rolled her eyes teasingly at him as she took some of the sweet cream onto her finger licking it off letting out a satisfied hum. He couldn’t help but watch her lick the sweet cream off her finger. The action making his brain go slightly fuzzy and making his heart thump faster. The sight in front of him was so… innocent, but it was still making his brain buzz with something else. 

Stop that

"I bet you did princess," He said, eyes glued to her still licking her finger.

“Is it up to standard?” She asked as she watched him lift another fork full to his lips. He finished eating the bite of cake as she spoke, swallowing it down and licking the lingering sweetness from his lips. He hummed out a small response as he looked at her.

“Yeah, never knew the kook princess was a little baker.” 

She shook her head at his comment hand coming out to shove his shoulder. He grabbed the other fork again, his eyes flickering back to her face,

“Come here” 

She leant forwards at his request, as  he took his fork and ran it along the edge of the cake, scooping up some of the cream it was covered in, coating the end of the fork. He lifted it and held it in front of her mouth, an expectant look on his face as he watched her. She parted her mouth as he raised the fork to her, her lips wrapping around the sweetness coating the metal. He couldn’t help the sharp inhale he took as her lips closed around the fork, his heart thumping rapidly at the action. He pulled the fork slowly from her lips, a slow smile spreading itself across his face as he stared at her.

“Taste good?”

“Mmhmm.” She hummed back, “I should probably start a bakery, what about ‘The Sweet Spot’?" She questioned tapping her fork against her lip in mock thoughtfulness. Rafe’s face immediately lit up with amusement, his eyes widening like he’d just heard the most ridiculous thing. 

“The Sweet Spot?” he repeated, his voice humoured. “Sounds like a place where people go to get more than just cake.”

Y/n threw her head back with a laugh, but there was a glimmer of challenge in her eyes. “What’s wrong with ‘The Sweet Spot’? It's catchy!”

Rafe shook his head, trying to stifle a laugh. 

“Catchy?” he teased. “You’re setting yourself up for a whole different kind of clientele with that name.”

She shook her head finger taking some of the cake frosting on her finger, 

 “Hey you’ve got a little-” She smudged the cream onto his cheek letting out a giggle. He felt the cream hit his cheek and he let out a chuckle, looking at her with raised eyebrows,

“Really princess?”

She shrugged her shoulders playfully, licking the rest of the cream off her finger and popping a cherry into her mouth with a grin. He let out a small, somewhat incredulous scoff as he shook his head slightly, the amusement clear on his face. She was acting so innocent and yet… 

Stop

"You're a brat" He stated teasingly, a small smirk still tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She raised her brow at him as she watched the boy wipe some of the cream off the cake and onto his finger moving it towards her, 

“Rafe!”

He let out a small huff of laughter, 

"Relax" 

He said in a somewhat innocent tone, but his eyes gave away his playful intentions as he held his finger up to the girl’s mouth.

Just as she moved forward to lick the cream off his finger the boy pulled his hand back at the last second, watching with a sense of satisfaction as the cream got smeared on her cheek. Her gasp made a small shiver run through his body, making his heart thump faster in his chest

“You have something on your face princess” He teased, the amused smirk back on his face.

“Rafe!” 

She exclaimed as she sat back from the boy in surprise. She suddenly moved forwards taking a large wipe of the cake onto her fingers and pushed it against his cheek, he barely had time to register her grabbing a handful of cake off the plate.

“Really Y/n?” 

He said with another huff of a laugh, his arm reaching around her waist, she squealed as he pulled her closer to her, smudging the cake all over her cheeks now, spreading it across her skin as a small grin appeared on his face.

“You look messy princess.” He said in an amused tone

“You're such a dick,” she laughed at him as she leant against the boy, his hand now covered in cake, the plate laying on the couch next to them. He could feel the cake getting smeared everywhere as she leant against him, but he couldn’t care less. 

“I’m a dick? You started this”

 He stated in a somewhat mock offended tone, his arm wrapped around her as they both sat there covered in cake. Y/n looked at the boy’s hand as he held it by her face, not wanting to get any of it on the sofa. He felt her look down at his outstretched hand, not wanting to dirty the sofa. His blue eyes met hers, his heart pounding so hard he could hear it vibrating in his ears. As he looked at her soft expression, he got a sudden idea. He mumbled out quietly,

“Open your mouth” 

She swallowed, looking from the boy's eyes, her gaze landed on his hand, long slender fingers with the white sweet cream clung to them, tempting and indulgent. As his hand lifted to her face and she parted her lips for him. He let out a small, shaky breath at her action. He slowly closed the distance, his long slender fingers pushed into her mouth, coating her lips and tongue with the sweet cream as his heart thumped in his chest. As her lips wrapped around his fingers, an inexplicable feeling of satisfaction surged through him at the feeling, her hand came up to wrap around the boy's wrist; she didn't know what was taking over her as she moved.

What am I doing 

He let out a hum as her mouth worked on his fingers, a soft sound catching in his throat as he caught her eyes looking up to him. He moved his fingers slowly in and out past her lips, feeling her tongue on his skin, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He felt a shiver of pleasure run through him, igniting something in his brain. He could barely think, his brain fuzzy and filled with sinful thoughts of her. She swirled her tongue around his fingers, licking off the cream that coated them savouring the taste, her breathing had picked up ever so slightly as she looked up to the boys eyes who were boring into hers. He groaned softly at the feel of her tongue caressing his finger, and his eyes met hers.

Fuck me 

He could feel heat begin to build within him, a mixture of desire and need. His eyes watched her intently, taking in the sight of her. Rafe swallowed slightly, his throat suddenly dry as he pulled his hand away from her, a light string of spit momentarily connecting his finger to her lips. The girl leant forwards slightly, her eyes flickering down to his lips and he was suddenly hyper-aware of her closeness to him, the way he could feel her breath on his skin. Rafe’s breathing was now ragged and uneven, and he felt himself leaning closer to her, his gaze falling to her lips, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. He imagined the way they would give under the pressure of a kiss, soft and inviting, making it harder to concentrate on anything but the urge to close the distance between them. He wanted to trace the line of her lips with his own, feel their warmth, and taste whatever sweetness lingered there. He could feel the tension between them, thick and electric, and he knew he should pull away, he should stop this before it went too far, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when he wanted her so badly, not when he could almost taste her on his tongue. 

Y/n felt light headed as she pushed herself closer to the boy, her hand resting on his upper thigh as her gaze darted up to meet his eyes, inches away from his face. Rafe could feel the heat radiating off her skin.

“Y/n” 

He mumbled out barely audible as he watched the girl’s tongue dart out to wet her lips. He could feel his resolve weakening, the reason and rationality fading as the pull of desire became harder and harder to ignore.

He wanted her, needed her… in a way he never had before.

What the fuck am I doing.

What am I doing?

This is my best friend

Yet even as her conscience screamed at her she didn’t pull away, she wouldn’t, she’d wanted this for too long. 

The sight and the sound of her slightly breathless made something inside Rafe stir, the line between best friends and something more beginning to blur. The realization of what they were doing suddenly hit him, a pang of guilt mixed with desire flowing through him. She was his best friend, she was supposed to be just his best friend, nothing else. He couldn’t do this.

“We shouldn’t” 

Her heart dropped to her stomach as she heard him speak out. His words hung in the air, the space between them suddenly feeling miles wide. She felt sick, and she couldn't tell if it was because of the amount of cake she'd consumed or because her best friend, whom she'd been pinning over for years, didn't want her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she could barely move, as if the air itself had thickened, the boy sat back slightly putting distance between them.

 -what? 

The confusion crashed into her like a wave. Her mind scrambled for some explanation- anything to make sense of what had just happened. Had she misread something? Had she been too obvious? The nagging feeling that she might have let her feelings show too clearly, too soon, clawed at her, but that didn’t make sense. He’d leaned in. 

He had leaned in. 

He felt his heart sink as he’d pulled away from her. 

Fuck 

He watched as she sat motionless, her eyes searching for his, his stomach twisting and turning at the sight. He wanted her, more than anything, but he couldn’t risk ruining what they had, their friendship, the last stable thing in his life. He felt guilt coursing through him. 

She blinked, trying to focus, but her mind was in a fog. She could see him, sitting back slightly, his gaze lowered, the distance between them growing, and it was like the walls around her were closing in. She couldn’t breathe. 

Is he rejecting me?

Her throat tightened, and she almost choked on the lump that formed there. No, that wasn’t possible. Not after everything. After all the years of being close, of leaning on each other, laughing, sharing moments—this wasn’t supposed to happen. This was meant to be her moment. She had dreamt about this so many times, imagined it in a thousand ways. 

But never like this. 

He watched her expression, seeing the flash of disappointment and pain in her eyes. He didn’t want to hurt her, he didn’t want to push her away, but he couldn’t give in, he couldn’t do this to her

He didn't do relationships, he never has…

He felt his heart sink as she sat up suddenly. He watched as she shook her head, his stomach twisting and turning at the sight. He wanted her, more than anything, but he couldn’t risk ruining what they had, their friendship, the last thing connecting him to her. He felt guilt coursing through him. 

“Look at me princess”

He tried to sound firm, but there was a hint of hesitation in his words, desperate for her to look at him. 

“No. No you're right-” 

She cleared her throat, grabbing the kitchen towel off the table and wiping her hands off the sticky cake, lifting it to wipe her cheek, before passing it back to the boy without looking at him.

You’ve fucked up

He felt his heart tug at the sound of her voice, the lump in her throat making him feel guilty. He felt sick with the whole situation. Rafe let out a breath, he knew she was lying, he could hear the shakiness in her voice; he took the towel from her, watching as she purposely avoided looking at him, and began wiping his face and hands off as well.

“Y/n.” He muttered out quietly. 

She had to close her eyes momentarily to regain her composure, her back still facing him, she let out a silent breath and opened her eyes as she turned to the boy.

“Rafe, it's fine. You're right.”

He watched her for a long moment, her features composed but distant, like she had built some invisible wall between them. She didn't move, didn't say anything after that for a long time as she placed the forks and left-over cake back into the basket. The silence stretched between them uncomfortably. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his voice broke the silence,

“You’re my best friend” 

He said it like a confession, almost like he was trying to convince himself of it, trying to hold on to the one truth he thought he could trust. Y/n froze for a second, her fingers still gripping the handle of the basket. She could feel the weight of his words sink deep into her chest, where all the other unsaid things had already gathered. She stood from where she sat next to him forcing out a smile,  

“Yeah of course- and you're mine.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive back was silent. Not the comfortable silence that usually lingered between them- no, this one felt different. 

Tense, discomfiting, awkward. 

Neither of them was brave enough to break it. Y/n’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly, her knuckles white, her posture stiff and forward-leaning, as though if she moved even slightly, she might shatter. Her eyes stayed fixed on the road ahead, her focus unwavering, as if she was trying to ignore the weight of the boy sitting beside her. Rafe sat in the passenger seat, his body turned slightly toward her, his heart twisting in his chest. He’d never felt so conflicted, so confused, so sick all at once. He wanted to reach out to her, to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. And even if they did, he wasn’t sure if it would make things better or worse. 

His gaze drifted to her, taking in the tightness in her shoulders, the subtle strain in her posture as she tried so hard to hold herself together. His chest ached, and the desire to speak, to make it better, was nearly unbearable. But the words felt trapped, like a dam that was ready to break. He couldn’t bring himself to say them. 

"Do you want me to drop you home?" 

Her voice cut through the silence, monotone, cold, as she kept her gaze fixed firmly ahead, as though the road were the only thing she could handle looking at right now. The shift in her voice, in her demeanor, hit Rafe harder than he expected. It stung in a way he couldn’t describe but he knew he deserved it.

“Yeah.”

He mumbled, his voice barely audible against the low hum of the car’s engine. The word felt too small, too inadequate, but it was all he could manage.

The sound of the indicator filled the silence between them, the rhythmic clicking marking each turn on the route she knew so well. The road to Tannyhill was embedded in her memory, but tonight, the familiarity of the journey did little to ease the tension in the car. When they finally came to a stop in front of the estate gates, the silence stretched, once again- heavy and suffocating. She leaned back against the seat, her shoulders sinking as if the weight of the drive had finally caught up to her. Licking her lips, she pursed them briefly before clearing her throat. The words she wanted to say stuck, tangled in her chest. Her gaze flicked toward him before retreating, hesitant.

“Thanks for… Thanks for coming today.” 

She finally managed, her voice unsteady. He watched her carefully, his own heart tightening at her tone, she wasn’t looking at him. He swallowed down the sharp pang in his stomach and nodded.

“Course.” 

He muttered as glanced at her again, but her face gave away nothing. She shook her head suddenly, a small, sharp movement, her hands gripped the steering wheel again, her knuckles whitening. She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. The sound of his seat belt unbuckling cut through the silence, followed by the soft creak of the door opening. He stepped out, standing just outside the open door, the cool air hit him, but it wasn’t enough to cool the heat rising in his chest. Guilt mixed with longing clawed at him, the rawness of it almost unbearable. He glanced back into the car, his hand resting on the frame of the door. She still wasn’t looking at him, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the lights on the dashboard of the car.

“I-” 

“I-”

He started, his voice barely more than a whisper, she echoed, her voice overlapping his, pulling his gaze back to her.

The word hung awkwardly in the air.

Finally, she looked up, her eyes meeting his for the first time. The corners of her lips twitched into a small, tentative smile- a fragile thing that barely held together. He froze, caught off guard by the flicker of emotion in her face. She hesitated, her grip loosening on the wheel as she allowed herself a moment of vulnerability. There was so much she wanted to say, but the words felt too big, too heavy to voice. Still, she knew if she didn’t speak now, the distance between them might never close.

“I don’t want this to… change us.” 

She said softly, her voice breaking slightly. Her smile faltered, but she held his gaze, hoping he could see what she couldn’t quite put into words. He felt horrible for putting her in this situation and making her question their friendship.

 He wished he could tell her he didn’t want this to change them either, but he did. He was lying earlier, he wanted more than just friendship from her. He wanted to be more than just her best friend.

His breath hitched at her words, and for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. 

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” 

He said finally, his voice stiff, he nodded slightly, more to himself than to her, as if trying to convince himself of the truth in his own words. 

Fucking say something to me 

She blinked at him, her brows furrowing just a little, unsure what to make of his response. 

“That’s all you’re gonna say?” 

“What do you want me to say?” 

He shot back, his tone sharper than he’d intended. He winced at himself and softened immediately, running a hand through his hair. 

“I mean… I don’t know what to say.”

Her lips pressed together tightly, and she exhaled through her nose, her gaze fixed on the dashboard. 

“Yeah, well… neither do I,” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

The silence that followed was suffocating, the awkwardness palpable. He stood there, half-in and half-out of the car, shuffling his feet against the gravel. Every second stretched uncomfortably long.

“We’re friends Y/n. That’s all we’ll ever be.” 

He gestured vaguely between them as he spoke. He didn’t even believe what he was saying, but he told himself it was for the best.

What are you talking about?

Stop talking 

Y/n didn’t respond immediately. She didn’t say anything at all. Instead, she slowly glanced at him, but only for a second- just enough for him to catch the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes before she quickly looked away.

“Right…” she whispered, her voice strained and hollow.

He opened his mouth to say something else, anything to fix it, but no words came, he let out a sigh, hand rubbing down his face.

“I’ll see you later,” 

Rafe said, his voice trailing off, she didn’t speak, didn’t move to look at him, instead she let out a small hum of acknowledgement. Her head finally turned towards the sound of the car door shutting. She sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel so tightly her hands were sore. Her eyes followed him as he walked up the path to his house, his steps slow, the porch light flickered on as he reached the door, casting a soft glow around him. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, glancing back toward her car for a moment. Her breath caught, her heart foolishly leaping in her chest, hoping- praying- he’d come back and tell her it was a mistake, that he hadn’t meant anything of what he’d said.

But he didn’t.

He turned back to the door, pushed it open, and stepped inside.

She sat frozen, staring at the now-empty porch, her mind racing and her chest tightening. Her lip trembled and her vision blurred as tears pooled in her eyes. She blinked hard, trying to push them back, but it was useless as they slid down her cheeks. A sob broke past her lips, filling the silence that had pressed down on her for the past few hours. She slammed her hand against the steering wheel, her whole body trembling as the tears came in waves. Her forehead dropped onto the wheel, the cold leather pressing against her skin as she shook with the force of her crying.

How could she have been so wrong? So embarrassingly, painfully wrong?

“We’re friends Y/n. That’s all we’ll ever be”

She thought he’d cared—really cared. She thought there had been something between them. All those moments they’d shared, the late-night conversations, the way he’d smiled at her, the way he made her feel seen when no one else did- it had to mean something. The answer was glaringly obvious now, and it made her feel sick. Of course, it hadn’t meant anything to him. Not the way it had to her. She’d let herself believe in something that was never there.

Her sobs grew quieter, but they didn’t stop. Her chest ached as she sat there, her nose blocked as she sniffled. She hated herself for thinking he could ever see her as anything more than a friend. Her tears soaked her cheeks, and she wiped at them furiously, her hands shaking. She felt stupid, exposed, and humiliated. She let her head fall back against the seat, staring up at the ceiling of the car, her breath coming in shakily. She looked back toward the house one last time, the darkened windows staring back at her like empty eyes. 

And for the first time, she wondered if holding onto him was worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @evermorx89 @bellaed1t @user381953 @lovemanheim @loves0phelia @yourcrackleflame @kundaquarius @matthewswifeyy @pillowprincess4him @lilithblackkk

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

HICKEYS

trans ftm!franco colapinto x male!reader

request: trans driver yelling at reader for leaving hickeys places and others seeing and messing with them - 🐺

summary: you get a little carried away and your boyfriend pays the price.

warnings: mildly suggestive, mentions of franco's media shenanigans, short

word count: 314

"AMOR!!"

your head whipped up at the distressed tone in franco's voice. "what? what happened? are you okay?"

franco rounded the corner into his driver's room. his cheeks ablaze, he crossed his arms and glared at you.

"uh-oh," you muttered, setting aside your phone and giving your boyfriend a confused smile. "... what did i do?"

he didn't say anything.

franco simply tilted his head and pointed at the rather large mark on his neck from last night's ... activities. you nodded slowly. hickeys usually didn't bother franco much. if anything, he reveled in the chaos they caused when they were inevitably spotted during a race weekend.

"and?"

"i was talking to lewis and i didn't know it was there!" franco whined, shoving your shoulder gently.

you nodded again. "... and?"

your boyfriend looked at you in bewilderment. "and it was embarrassing!"

"okay ...?" you shrugged, hands moving to rest on franco's waist as he pouted at you. "i'm not sorry, you flirt with people too much for them not to know you're taken."

"i talk about you all the time?"

"yeah, but this is just ... an extra precaution." you smirked.

franco groaned, hiding his face in your neck. "i was talking to lewis about the race and he interrupted to ask if i had hurt my neck in training and i had to explain that my boyfriend is just a vampire."

"i am not a vampire!" you argued, barely suppressing your laughter. "i just happen to like people knowing you're mine."

"i got teased so much!"

"so wear 'em proudly next time."

"no!" franco yelped, pulling back to point at you sternly. "no next time. no hickeys on race weeks."

you raised an eyebrow at him cheekily and backed him up against the wall, tilting your head to kiss his neck lightly. "you sure you can hold yourself to that?"

...

"no."

©thekoalapastriesbakery :: please do not copy or rewrite my work on any platform !!

author's note: i was gonna do more drivers for this but i only really got inspired for franco—if i get inspired for others i will definitely make this a little series bc i think it's funny 🫶

taglist: @raizelchrysanderoctavius @crispysoup318 @op-81-lvr-reblogs @ncrsbrg @spoonfulofmilo @justaf1girl @widow-cevans

[brinstar-real-estate]

also: there's been talk of the trending popularity of puppygirls dying down and giving way to bunnygirls or catgirls again or something. and idk maybe that will happen. maybe the mass subconscious will become infatuated with bug girls. but i don't think the appeal of puppygirls can be easily replaced bc the idea of a dog in pop culture is wayyyy too versatile and interesting. the association with unconditional loyalty is just so fucking juicy, and how the object of their devotion responds to their love adds a whole other layer onto it. you have lapdogs who are loved and cherished and get gently laughed at for being silly, worker dogs who have to get shot in the head by their masters after they get bit by a rabid coyote while defending their flock. you can have dogged persistence or be in puppy love, and calling someone a dog has always been a dehumanizing insult. if you're pathetic and spineless and stupid you're a dog. they inspire love and affection and give comfort, they inspire fear and cause pain, they'll rip you to shreds with teeth and claws or curl up next to you when you're sick in bed; i truly cannot think of another animal that has such a wealth of connotations and contradictions within itself, tied to this idea of mindless devotion and loyalty. so i think puppygirls and other dog people will always be relevant

the reason the catgirl trend gave way to the puppygirl trend so quick is because people realized you can't order around, leash, or praise a cat. as per deluzeian philosophy, people crave a progression twoards creating roles in society which accomadate their need for being psychosexually dominated

[thezombieprostitute]

Would werewolf Steve take me apple picking and help me bake apple pie and let me boop his nose with flour? I’m in a very fall mood today.

I haven't thought about Werewolf Steve in such a long time!

Warnings: Mild/implied smut.

The Northern Forests are absolutely gorgeous this time of year. All the different leaf colors make the forest look breathtaking. The only thing more beautiful, to Steve, was you.

It's been over a year since you woke up to a muscly, hairy man rowing you down the river to get medical assistance. In that time you and Steve grew closer than he imagined he could ever let himself get. You were more curious than afraid of his wolf side. You showed him unending trust that he longed to live up to. You even got him willing to go out and interact with people more and more.

While the two of you were living in the middle of nowhere, you focused on your nature photography and conservation efforts, and Steve found himself getting back into painting and drawing. It was a side of himself he had shut down in favor of keeping himself, his wolf, under control. After his first transformation around you, where you hadn't run in fear, and he hadn't attacked you, Steve soon learned his wolf needed freedom, not a prison. His artistic side, his protective nature, his need to look after others, those were the things that would keep his wolf side from destroying everything around him.

So when the autumn hits, Steve is more than happy to take you to some of the nearby farms and orchards. He's gone from being a recluse to feeling excited to go out and do things with you. He makes sure you don't have to do any of the heavy lifting, almost appearing to have inhuman strength until you chide him. He can be a little careless about keeping his werewolf nature a secret when it comes to showing off for you.

Other than that, things go well until you have an almost literal run-in with one of the young men working at the orchard.

"Ope, sorry about that, Ma'am," the young man quickly apologizes.

"It's fine," you assure. "I should've looked where I was going."

Steve is standing behind you, your back to his chest. You swear you can feel his growl. The young man makes the briefest eye contact with him before ducking his head and carefully backing away, still apologizing. You try to turn around to look at him but Steve wraps his arms tightly around you and runs his nose along your neck.

"Steve, you can't do that," you scold him. "It was an accident."

"He touched you," Steve quietly growled. "Almost hurt you."

"Steve? Are you...are you okay?"

He nips your neck, making your breath hitch. "Need to get you home."

"We gotta pay for these apples, first," you tell him. He grumbles but acquiesces.

At home, Steve doesn't even let you grab the apples out of the truck, mumbling promises of getting them later. He's thrown you over his shoulder and is carrying you into the house. You laugh and call him a caveman, causing him to smack your ass. He gets you on the couch before ripping your clothes off of you and throwing your legs over his shoulders.

Several hours later Steve keeps his promise of getting the apples for you. You're sitting at the table because your legs aren't working at the moment. He actually looks guilty as he places the baskets of apples on the table for you.

"I'm sorry about that," he says. "I don't know what came over me. I just...I know it was an accident but seeing that guy touch you, I...I guess I got a little..."

"Territorial?" You finish for him.

"Yeah, that," he nods. "I had this uncontrollable urge, a need, to cover you in my scent. Mark you as mine."

"Well you certainly succeeded," you chuckle. "Now get to helping me peel and slice some of these apples for pies."

Steve smiles. Domestic bliss was something he was certain he'd never be allowed after becoming a werewolf. But you've upturned his world in the best possible ways. You turned this place from a house to a home, making it a refuge, not a Fortress of Solitude. As you carry on with the baking, filling the kitchen with the delightful aromas of apples and cinnamon, Steve still can't keep his hands off of you. His excuse is that you were so weak kneed before he's gotta keep his arms wrapped around you so you don't fall. He doesn't even bat an eye when you boop his nose with a flour covered finger. He just wipes off the flour by nuzzling your neck, making you laugh.

As the night approaches, Steve's wolf becomes more awake. Steve can tell it's trying to get his attention about something but he can't figure it out. That night he's more restless than usual, but it's nowhere near the full moon. Not wanting to worry you, he tells you he's going to go do a territory check to burn off some energy. Though he's gotten better about transforming in front of you, he still waits until he's sure you're asleep before doing so.

In wolf form, Steve takes a deep breath, gathering information. There is something different. Something that wasn't there before. He wants to investigate it but his wolf form is in charge and is insistent on doing the territory check. It seems extra focused on security. He spends much of the night making his rounds before finally investigating the source of the new scent. As he gets closer to home, the scent shows up again. It grows stronger as he gets inside the house. Maybe it's the apples? The baking? Steve thinks. He swears he feels his wolf roll its eyes at him.

They get to the bedroom where you're sleeping and that's when it hits him. She's pregnant! Steve's wolf lightly growls in confirmation. The two are aligned in this moment in their desire to keep you, and their pup, safe. But how is Steve going to tell you?

Tagging: @alicedopey; @darsynia; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @ronearoundblindly

[rayveneyed]

continuation of this au

cw: mentions of cheating/infidelity/disloyalty; vague allusions to sex

“so, like, what’s his deal?”

two months into your relationship with sukuna ryomen, you’re personal-assistant-turned-friend carries a bouquet of a hundred red roses into your dressing room. they’re so large that they eclipse her entire top half, and she pants as she sets them down on the table, cursing to herself.

it’s the first night of your mini-tour, your first performance in a good few months, and you don’t bother pretending that the sight of the flowers doesn’t soothe your nerves immediately. there’s a little note attached to the pale-blue cellophane that hugs the flowers; in his chicken-scratch, a love letter. i already know you’ll knock it out of the park. blow their minds, baby.

you read it over and over again, mind flitting between the set list for the night and where you’d been just days earlier — in his home, in his bed, in his arms. he’d sent you off well and truly satisfied, called you almost every day since, and hadn’t missed a single good morning text. and now, this. you fight a swoon.

hair laid — 1940s pin curls — and makeup done (a deep, oxblood red lip, really selling the whole vintage aesthetic), you lift your head to peer at her in the mirror. karmen really would kill you if you got foundation on your neckline — the first dress of the concert is white, glimmering with rhinestones and embroidery, a more virginal jessica rabbit moment. you force yourself to hold your chin up and away from it. “hm?”

“you know.” unscrewing the lid of her water bottle, nina waves it in a vague shape in front of her. “sukuna. ryomen, that is.”

“is there any other?” you joke. she sends you perhaps the most unimpressed look she’s ever bequeathed you with.

“i just never thought he’d be your type,” she continues, casual. “like, real oil and water vibes. i don’t know. but the roses are a nice touch.”

you hum. you’ve known her long enough to not take offence to most of what nina says -- she's wonderfully blunt, and you value that greatly. instead, you pick up your phone and open the camera app, zooming in and out to snap a couple of pictures of your flowers. exposure up, down, up, down -- should you take one at an angle? “oil and water?”

“yeah, i guess." there's a moment of silence, and then: "like — you’re always talking about how you wanna settle down and get married and, like, be loyal to someone, y'know? and he’s just — look, i’m not saying that he’s not loyal to you, i’m just—”

she makes a noise of frustration, and you snort. "he's just, like, a little bit of a whore, right? sorry, i don't mean to be mean -- but has he had a serious relationship in the past 10 years? and all of a sudden he’s talking about you to anyone who will listen — allegedly. allegedly.” she pauses. “how are you taking this so lightly? i'm literally bagging on your man."

finally, you set your phone down, and actually take a second to heed her words.

in truth, you had been extremely cautious when sukuna first showed an interest in you -- sat beside each other at a fashion show, never having met before. you'd be stupid to call it mere coincidence -- nothing in this industry ever really is, and the organisers had definitely gotten the photo op moment they'd hoped for. you're almost 100% sure they hadn't expected for him to stare at you like an idiot, or for you to shoot him your most demure smile, or for the actor to pull out his most casanova-esque moves.

you're not stupid, and what nina says isn't wrong. you're not into hooking up, or one night stands, or being another notch on someone's bedpost -- you weren't before you got famous, and you sure as hell aren't now, when there are cameras around every corner and gossips at every table. and sukuna isn't exactly known for his long-standing relationships or his monogamy -- it's almost like a rite of passage, you think, for a girl to have a shadowy nightclub picture taken with sukuna. if not a shadowy nightclub picture, then a steamy pool shot, or a sensual beach picture, with his hands up her t-shirt and her's down his pants.

despite his general bad-boy appearances in the media, you'd heard that he was quite… kind, if that’s the word. brash, but kind. a little hardheaded, but hard-working, and not too difficult to work with. you've met music video directors that had sung his praises and trusted producers that had called him a good friend. maybe that's why you'd spoken to him when you caught him staring, instead of sending him a smile and continuing on.

"is this your first time at a mugler show?" because it had been yours, and you didn't know what else to say. you wouldn't call yourself shy, but you're certainly not the most adept at small talk -- and you're not ugly, but sukuna is intimidatingly pretty for a man. and the tattoos, and the hair, and those smouldering eyes and long lashes...

"not my first,” he'd replied, seemingly unbothered that he had been caught staring. "y’know, i don't think we've met before."

"no, i don't think we have.”

and yet, there’d been no need for introductions. you were both aware that the other knew who you were.

"you, uh — you doin' somethin' after this?" the question had come out of nowhere -- at least, to you it did. what you didn't know is that he'd been repeating the question to himself from the moment he'd sat down beside you. and while his face didn't betray anything -- his jaw set and his eyes in their usual half-lidded state -- if you'd reached out and placed a palm over his chest, his heartbeat would have rabbitted against your hand.

you had allowed yourself a smile, and tilted your head. of course, his reputation proceeded him — but you were nothing if not a risk taker. maybe that’s why, instead of outright denying his invitation, you said: “i don’t do casual, darling. sorry.”

his eyes had been almost piercing. that wasn’t a no. “who said anything about casual?”

you’d quirked an eyebrow. “really? you want to go steady with me?”

“why not?”

“you don’t even know me.”

“i want to.”

and fuck. it wasn’t the smartest decision in hindsight, leaving the show so openly with him — but you did, arm in arm, and he hadn’t yet broken your trust. perhaps stupid of you, you didn’t believe he would.

“y’know,” you say, snapping out of your memories. you’re back in your dressing room, clutching his card in hand, staring at your reflection. “i don’t know what it is. i don’t know why he suddenly changed his tune. i don’t know why it was with me. and — well, i know he won’t, but if one day he leaves me for some waify scandi model, i’ll know he didn’t really change at all.”

nina nods, slow, like she finally understands. “you’re going in headfirst.”

“yeah, i guess.”

“that shit’s scary.”

“yeah.” you lift the card to your face again, thumb smoothing over where he’d scrawled your name, the little heart where he signed his love. your cheeks feel hot. you know there’s a facetime call waiting for you when you’re back at the hotel, tucked into bed and sleepy. “it’s really not so bad, at the end of the day.”

[mono-dot-jpeg]

tiny exception [pt. 2] - stellaron hunter crew

summary; there's one little exception to the rules of the stellaron hunters...

genre/extra tags; one shot, fluff, a lot of fluff, comedy, children are menaces but it's okay, blade will be punting a kid (/j), rich aunt kafka, silver wolf doesn't know how to handle kids

[platonic] [5-7 year old reader] [gender neutral reader]

[buy me a kofi to support!]

word count; 615

a/n; finally i have finished the part two of this iconic work bc someone requested it. hope you enjoy!

[rule 1; don't bother blade]

this rule really should be obvious. it really should, but kids don't listen to obvious rules.

"why are you so grumpy?"

"because of you."

"that's mean. you're really mean." you sit right on his lap because you felt stubborn today. "and you're stupid." silver wolf stifles a laugh at the sight before her. you and blade glare at each other as you poke at his face like a cat. "and ugly."

"i think you're talking about yourself." anyone who didn't know blade would think, man, he doesn't like this kid. but from the way he holds you gently and the tiny glint of playfulness in his eyes as he talks to you.

"you're so rude! i'm gonna tell kafka!"

you push yourself against him in a weak attempt to tackle him. he only carries you, hands under your armpits as you struggle in his hold.

"you're a little snitch, you know that?" he holds you like a baby this time as you're still kicking your legs and trying to squirm out of his grip to get a chance to get to kafka.

"because you're a big meanie! a big butthead!"

"yeah, yeah."

[rule 2; don't go in kafka's room]

there wasn't really anything incriminating in there. she just didn't like people invading her space and it was normal. but there's always those little exceptions.

"auntie!" you knock on her door, almost a little too loudly. she does open the door, not really fazed since she knows your loud knocks from anywhere.

"what is it, dear?" she's tiredly picking you up, it's clear that she's had a long day but by aeons, she wasn't gonna let that stop her from caring for you.

"can i sleep with you tonight.." you're a little bit embarrassed. you usually stay with silver wolf as her late night working sessions usually help you fall asleep but you haven't seen kafka in the past few days.

"of course you can. i would never say no." her hand pats against your back, comforting you and starting to lull you into a sleep. she lets you rest your head on her shoulder, humming, "i'll be doing a little bit before we lay down. just sleep, baby."

"i like your room, auntie.. i like being with you." you mumbled tiredly. you rest against her as she sits down at her desk, still holding you.

"i like being with you too."

[rule 3; let silverwolf focus when she's playing her games]

something about children and always wondering what games you got on your phone always has silverwolf reeling away from you when she goes to play her games. it took her longest to get used to your bright presence. honestly, children were not really any of their forte. you were an unexpected (yet expected) part of the crew even if you didn't do much (yet).

she usually kept herself away but today was different. she offered to play with you. as it was almost out of character of her, you immediately accepted. and you played a two player co-op game. she was more focused than you were but you didn't mind.

you weren't doing well in the game as your character died multiple times during this boss battle (that was set to medium for you but co-op gave it more health and different battle patterns). you watched as silverwolf tried her best to pull through.

"you can do it!" you had said in the heat of the moment, but her finger slipped and you both lost. "i'm sorry!"

she's a little bit frustrated being so close to the end but she lets out a tired sigh. "it's okay."

[ginnyluna]

After reading TLH for the first time, i remember i was really hoping for a Jason Bourne type story arc for Jason, where he only gets his memories in fragmented and blurry flashbacks, and all they show him is violence and fights and more violence, and he absolutely hates it. He hates the person he was before, he was barely human, he was only a weapon -- and even though having all your memories stolen from you sucks, he ends up being grateful for it, because now he gets to be someone new, who knows what love and friendship feels like and doesn't have to use violence all the time.

I honestly wish we got to see Jason with his memories back or even a flashback where we get to see how he acted before he lost them

[katsukikoi]

your so pretty

character; yuji itadori x f!reader + sukuna x f!reader

part 1 part 2

warnings; swearing

theme; Sukuna's past, yuji's crush. ( strong f!reader )

Itadori was new to the jujutsu world, he weaves around missions and finishes them quickly. Although, he can only do so much as a student.

So, since his “death” he has to stick with Gojo sensei.

He never minded, he actually rathers. He would happily do all of the tasks and missions the albino man gave him, with a smile.

“yes gojo sensei!” he would say, one hand with his thumb up, and the other on his hip. Unknowingly sassy.

He never could remember the pact he made with sukuna. Which made the poor boy drag his head in the mud.

Sukuna would often respond nonchalantly, always brushing him off and cursing him for being stupid. This would make the poor boy pout and huff, annoyed if anything. But, nonetheless he perseveres.

Gojo said he had a surprise for him, making the boy get excited hoping it was time to go back and re-reveal himself to the world.

"i have someone you need to meet!" gojo spoke, with a large smug smile.

"huh? i thought i wasn't allowed to see anyone.." he spoke, with a confused, but cute pout. He blinked like an innocent puppy.

"This one, wont make a peep." he winked, making the salmon haired boy even more confused.

"yuji-kun, meet your new best friend, y/n!!" he yelled out, opeing his arms out as he waited for her to appear.

"so, there is nothing there?" sukuna laughed, his eye opened under yuji's as he tried to slap him away.

"sorry i'm late, sensei. I got caught up." the girl spoke, walkimg into the door. Her jujutsu energy pouring out of control even sukuna could feel it deep in his soul. God, it felt so familiar to him. It felt like he yearned for it even after he was sealed.

There stood, a girl. Similar looking to gojo, a very small section of sleek white like hair on the front, the rest chocolate brown with golden strands in different places. Her eyes shined gold, the purest of the metal. Her eye lashes, long and thick, her lips, healthy and soft looking. Making sukuna gulp. He knew this woman, but where from exacting?

Yuji was a different story, the boy greeted her with a smile, telling her he like women like Jennifer Lawrence.

"nice to meet you, itadori-kun. Personally, i like men like senami shinazugawa." she bowed, much like he did. Her smile catching a sly fox look.

"woah! from the anime?" he spoke, excitedly.

"yes! you know it?" she excitedly giggled, looking up to the taller boy he nodded quickly.

"hmh! what episo-" before he could continue, gojo satoru laughed. Interupting them. " yuji, y/n. You two, are coming with me." he spoke, grabbing them both yuji by the hood of his jacket, while y/n bridle style. Making sure to cover her skirt from praying eyes.

“what? gojo satoru, are you using them for a human shield?” the cruse boredly spoke.

“hi! i hope you don’t mind :) i have students.” gojo smiled, brightly at the mt fuji curse.

“wah! he looks like mt fuji.” yuji spoke, grabbing y/n’s calf, in awe.

“hey brat, dont touch.” sukuna grumbled, his voice unheard as yuji ignored it. Still holding on to the poor girls leg as she glared at the curse.

“jogo? still looking homeless.” y/n spoke, a wild smirk on her face as she got out of gojos grasp to stand in the middle of the two men.

y/n clapped her hands, ready for a fight as a golden tattoo glowed, ready to be summed.

“neh, y/n. Hold back.” gojo smirk, petting the smaller girls head.

“eh!?” she spoke, huffing as she watched the scene play out.

As the girl zoned out, she didnt notice that the two of them, yuji and herself were currently falling to a spikey dead wood pile. “thats not good huh?” she spoke out a loud. she grabbed yuji as she moved her hand in front of her. “tsunami.” she whispered, summoning a great wave of water, destroying the pile of wood as she landed on top of the water. Carrying yuji bridal style.

“put the brat down. This is embrassing.” sukuna mumbled, sitting on his bones he watched interestedly.

Watching the girls every step, calculating her moves. He was tempted to keep all of his eyes open, just to make sure, but he decided against it. Thinking it was a waste of time.

———

“itadori, your curse-“ *smack* “energy is too high.” the girl spoke, reading a book next to him as she watched him get smacked for the 18th time.

y/n sighed, putting a book mark in her page as she stood up. She went behind the couch and patted the boys hair, making him blush and look up.

“ill get some food, kay?” she asked, making the boy smile, blush coating his cheeks as he nodded. “m’kay.” he squeaked out.

—-

“go yuji! you can do it!” she spoke, watching at the boy downed a weaker shinigami. Jumping for joy as she proudly taught him black flash.

its been 2 months since they got partnered up, not once has the king of curses made a peep.

until, “brat no.2 fight me.” sukuna’s mouth smirk, his eye glaring with blood lust.

“no, i wont let you.” itadori spoke, covering him. “sorry y/n-senpai.” he spoke shyly.

“sure sukuna. How many fingers you at? 4?” she asked, cracking her back and neck.

“extention.” sukuna spoke, smirking as he did so.

The tattoos filling yujis face as sukuna changed his look. y/n blushed abit as she looked away for a second before turning back to him.

She watched him come at her with full force like he did gojo. “i wonder.” she spoke, her long nail ripping her sleeve, “whale, of the jade chamber.” she spoke, a green whale the size of a large jelly fish swum around sukuna. Making him laugh, “really!? i overestimated you!” he laughed,

Y/n came at him with roaring speed, as fast as a full grown cheetah. Eyes shining gold, she let her knee fully hit his face. The whale growing more green as it amplified the hit breaking the mans jaw.

He groaned as he gripped his jaw, “you bitch.” he smirked, “i like it! more, give me more power!” he yelled, exitedly.

The girl tilted her head, as she watched the man pause sighing, and rolling his eyes. He let yuji return as he barked out in pain. “ouch!” he spoke, y/n rushed towards him, using her reverse technique to heal him.

“what happened?” he asked, thanking her.

“i.. sukuna happend.” she spoke.

—

“and i think thats the best episode we watched. Tengen is so flashy!” itadori gushed as he leaned on her chest has he cuddled her, so sweetly and kindly. so repectfully, and so innocent.

“hn! senami is better.” she spoke, playing with his hair letting her nails comb through.

They became close, this made her scared. Making her heart drop, what the hell did she do?

she stopped watching the series as she watched yuji, just looking at him made her heart flutter. “shit.” she mumbled, no one but sukuna heard. Not that she knew anyways.

The two teens stayed in that position until, itadori fell asleep. This caused the girl to yawn.

“you care for this vessel.” sukuna spoke, making the girl snap her head towards him. No longer was it yuji, but sukuna. Laying right where yuji was, unmoving.

“ha? i-“ she tried to lie, and look away, but she felt sukuna shift, making her move herself back, preparing herself for a future fight.

Sukuna looked at her, with praying eyes, a hunter; hungry for her blood. “tell me, bunny. why do you?” he grinned, stradding the girl, as she tried to calm her heart rate. She cant fight that well at night.

“so, what. why would you care?” she asked, as she watched him trail his fringers around her hip and collar bones.

She gulped as he became hyper fixated on this tattoos hands, a type of black dye coated his nails. She shivered, she continued to watch as they made contact. Sukuna moving her con with his finger, forcing her to meet his red crimson eyes.

“he doesnt deserve you.” he grunted out.

“what?” she asked.

—-

i hope you enjoyed, it was kinda shit ngl. But lmk if you like it!

dont repost my writing, translate, or rewrite.

Only, reblog, comment and follow. Sent requests too!

much love,

Atlas. 💣✨

[poomphuripan]

Hello Claire,

First of all, thank you so much for everything you have been sharing these last few weeks about My Stand-In and Poom (and Up). It's such a treat ❤️

Was My Stand-In Poom's first project out of CH8 or was it Bake Me Please? I hope his popularity will rise and allow him to be cast in different kinds of show and role. Because it must be frustrating to always play the same type of character... And do you know in which agency does he belong please?

Have a nice day ❤️

hiiii (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

well thank you for following and always supporting my gifs i see you (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

So Bake Me Please is actually Channel 8 (CH8)'s first ever BL series where they got their rising male actors (Ohm, Guide, Poom, Atom, Prame, Tawan) to star in, so BMP is actually a CH8 series.

I believe Poom's first ever non CH8 work is Saneha Stories Season 4: Saiyai Saneha (2022) which is a two-episode mini series based on the real life story of a gay man. This was aired on AIS Play and produced by TV Thunder.

Poom also has another comedy series Jenny A.M./P.M. (2022) on AIS Play but this was in collaboration with CH8 which is why there were some CH8 actors (Poom, Nonny, Prame) in the series. Poom plays the straight best friend of the male protagonist (played by Singto Prachaya).

So technically My Stand-In is Poom's 2nd or 3rd work outside of CH8 (depending on how you view the two projects above) but it is Poom's first lead role in a major production and Poom often refers to My Stand-In as his first ever lead role in interviews so that's Poom's position on it 😅

For some background on Poom's agency. He is managed by RSDG - a production/talent management subsidiary company of RS Group, a Thai entertainment and media company that owns CH8. So basically Poom is a Channel 8 actor but it seems that CH8 is a bit more laxed about their actors partaking in series outside of their network (but that also comes with a cost).

I've heard rumors that CH8 gave Poom an ultimatum between becoming 2ML in another CH8 lakorn or choosing to star in My Stand-In (a non CH8 work) and not having any CH8 lakorn projects left for the rest of the year. I have no idea the accuracy of this rumor but I guess all we gotta do is look at Poom's schedule for the rest of this year and see if he's got anything else other than MSI fanmeetings here and there ಥ_ಥ

But I have a lot of fun watching Poom playing his evil lakorn villain roles at CH8 as well and I think those scenes helped greatly in honing his acting skills throughout his acting career so far (you can watch Poom being very stiff in his early works and the gradual improvement progress over the course of his lakorn works). If you pick a random CH8 lakorn with Poom, his character is sure to be killing or dying or crying or getting mad or fucking someone (sometimes all of the above).

Whatever the future holds for Poom, I'm very happy that he chose My Stand-In because I can't imagine a world where we do not get Poom Phuripan as Joe. Poom expresses a lot of happiness from finally getting positive reactions about his acting performances for the first time, which is a thing that I think lakorn actors will hardly get (especially if you play supporting roles at an obscure TV channel with low to average viewership). I also feel like Poom is pretty happy to finally get to play a character that's so close to his personality in real life (bonus the fact that his character isn't dying or going to jail).

I too hope that My Stand-In will be the breakthrough project Poom needed to get the attention and the opportunities he deserved after being much underrated and typecasted at CH8, manifesting many interesting scripts and acting opportunities come his way 🥹

sorry op i hope i answered some of your inquiries. i totally get carried away whenever i'm rambling. tldr: poom is managed by rsdg group so officially speaking, he's an actor for channel 8 but sometimes they let him out to star in non-ch8 works.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom Observation Funny tags: One Piece Marines

Due to character limits, the funny tags post has had to be broken up into multiple parts

This post contains the tags for all the Marines plus Cipher Pol. I ran into a little issue with character limits again because someone, and they know who they are, got carried away with their love of smoker. At least they're entertaining, plus I don't mind. They're one of my favorite followers because of their tags

Admirals

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him" “akainu looks like a toxic yaoi seme in a yakuza story (this is hot) (100% would let him do to me what toxic yaoi semes do to poor unfortunate ukes)” “akainu is too wide and stiff. He'd probably loosen up if I gave him a blowjob but I wouldn't because he's ugly and a bad person” “I like scars.” “proof that a beard can change men” “yo sakazuki is hot PERIODT. However post-ts has a little goatee and that's fucking sexy as shit love that love you daddy sakazaddy yum” “My baby daddy looks hot in both versions though😍😍😍” “pre timeskip because he's only a cop then and not the head of all cops” “are people voting like literally hotter? cos that burgundy outfit has only been worn better by Doflamingo and the sakazuki camellia (like that’s its actual cutivar-synonymous with Sakazukiba apparently) like I’m guessing it’s the fire joke cos I love pink and red together and it’s one of the few redeeming features of akainu well he’s still got the camellia in the second but it’s striking in the first against the red” “reblogging bc this is the funniest picture of akainu ive ever seen bless u op reminds me of the ‘mom says it’s my turn on the xbox’ memes”

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Kizaru: “We are losing but we are free Borsalino” “Borsi Baby” “

Sengoku: “Sengoku is no villain” “Don't think he gets enough love especially since he's probably packing”

Ryokugyu: "I'm a sucker for plant/earth based powers, can't help it. Plus he's got the lovely shirt allergy. And he is genuinely better looking than Volcano Gru.” “

Shockingly, no Kuzan yet if anyone would like to change that

Vice admirals

Doll: “not to be a marinefucker but if doll doesn't win i call conspiracy” “VOTE VICE ADMIRAL DOLL she'll punch you so hard your grandparents will feel it but thats kinda hot so” “doll is stupidly hot hot take shes hotter than boa”

Garp: “garp all the way his scottish accent does it for me and the salt and pepper look” “Objectively? Garp. However he loses points for being a pig” “uh oh i have gender envy for garp but” “I just have to clarify, because I went through the tags. That is not a Scottish accent you're hearing from Garp, it's Welsh. Vincent Regan is Welsh, which is still a Celt but completely different from a Scottish. For starters, you can understand him and that is the biggest hint that it's not Scottish you will ever get.” “monkey d garp should show me what the d in his name stands for” “garp lost this because y'all are FUCKING COWARDS don't worry gramps i got ya

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him",

Smoker continued: “daddy smoker you may not win any fights in op but you CAN win this poll <3” “Smoker there's zero competition sorry. i think i got pregnant just watching him in punk hazard.”  “Smoker? I hardly know 'er-” “gotta add to that wonderful smokersweep 👀✌️✨” “smoker for the voice and drive” “while i am usually a horny demented sex freak, smoker is cool because of his moral compass, the way he treats regular civilians, and the rack of cigs he keeps on him 24/7” “Why is Smoker attractive? Excuse me, he is 6'10 and exudes Daddy Dom energy, and due to his logia fruit, he comes with his own unique form of bondage. Smoke cuffs, anyone? I want to be his naughty little Marine or pirate, whatever he's into. I also think there could be some other kinky implications of his devil fruit, but I won't get into it here. I'm already gladly going to horny jail for this” “SINCE WHEN WAS SMOKER 6'10???” “That intro should be enough to persuade anyone. That Smoker is the bestest boy. Then post time skip he became the beefiest boy” "Listen. Smoker's a big muscular man who's canonically good with kids. He also refuses to NOT walk around bare chested” “can he stub those cigars out on me. please. please. plea- [comically large piano falls on me, cutting off my speech]” “a part two to my smoker defense, now that ive been given permission to talk about his dick: the man is the definition of a service dom. he could be mean, sweet, whatever you want. whatever you *need*. as others have mentioned, he's tall as fuck. he's built like a brick shithouse. he could manhandle you, fuck you against a wall, hold you up in front of a mirror, countless other positions... and the smoke. position awkwardness is no longer a thing. your partner can't reach something? not anymore ! smoke hand ! and, of course, the gags, the handcuffs, the blindfolds.... all made of smoke.... is it not intimate, to have restraints be made of your partners own powers? i'm not even into daddy kink but if he asked me to call him that? i'm down. would do anything for this man / would let this man do anything to me. also just look at him and tell me his dick's not as thick as a beer ca- [i am pushed into oncoming traffic]” “come on. you can't look me dead in the eye and tell me you don't think smoker would make a great father. Due to this, i would gladly let him rail me into a wall while im gagged with his smoke until im stuffed fuller than luffy during his fight with croco in alabasta.” “wdym I'm older than Smoker ??!!” “He's a gruff tough guy who if a girl walks into him and drops her ice cream, he'll buy her extra scoops.” “hes buff hes gruff he wont take no guff hes got the right stuff” “I just yelled so loud bc smoker? a baddie? I mean I guess but 😭😭😭” “if smoker is a villain then by god im fucking the evil hes not a villain???? hes my babygirl. who im going to get pregnant or the other way around im not picky” (Note: 70% or more of the smoker section was made up of tags by one person. That person was @badtzbot. If you want to thank them)

Tsuru: “tsuru is a queen” “im gonna be so honest with you. six-foot-eight gilf appreciation hours” “tsurus so hot gilf of all time”

Other Marines

Helmeppo: “y'all are sleeping on helmeppo” “everyone forgot about a certain sword scene mhmm you fools”

Hina: “it's hina 100% hello? have you heard her voice?? also she smokes (not hot to me irl. very hot in fiction)”

Koby: “Koby tf?? Hr got them sad wide eyes n I love that for him He's like a pink baby cat I wanna squeeze n hug him”

Tashigi: “i love tashigi i will forever love tashigi FUCK YOU GUYS she's my BABYGIRL !!!! how can you not fall for that autism sword rizz that heart of gold and strong moral compass she shares with smoker her cute little face….. she could probably benchpress me man shes probably super strong i want to take her out on a date and compliment her and fluster her and and and” “The Tashigi agenda is dying…”

Cipher Pol

Lucci: “good to see lucci and his stupid beard is in last place” “kind of want to be railed by his hybrid form so I have to vote for him”

Kaku: “if his nose is square does that mean his dick is too? just asking”

[seawitchkaraoke]

You're not gonna "feel like an adult" anytime soon. Maybe you never will

There's always gonna be moments at 3am with the dishes piling up and the laundry undone that you just want someone to come and help and fix it all for you

There's always gonna be moments of thinking "oh I should really have my life together by now"

But one day at 27 you're gonna hold your 19 year old friend in your arms who's living on their own for the first time and is so so overwhelmed, so you help them write that email to their professor or book that doctor's appointment or go over their CV with them

One day, at 27 your 22 year old friend will tell you the whole team missed you when you were on holiday for the first training of the season bc there's a lot of new ppl joining and they were worried that you wouldn't be there to solve any conflict that might come up

One day, at 27 you'll wake up and realize you're the adultier adult. You're the one people look to for help. And you're able to handle it

One day, at 27, you'll sit there with your dishes piling up and the laundry undone at 3am and wonder why you haven't figured this out yet.

And then you'll go to sleep and do the dishes in the morning. And then text your 35 year old friend to ask to meet up for coffee bc they always have such good advice

hi I'm not the last anon but I'm around the same age, I don't really consider myself an adult I just feel like a big kid tbh is that normal?

I mean you stopped legally being a child like five minutes ago so yeah that’s normal. You’ll figure it out. Everybody does eventually.

[rivkadreamer]

Push and Pull.

a/n: I actually have no idea what is this, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a short drabble since I've been wanting to post something to Tumblr for quite some time and then...I got carried away, ahaha. Also I'm posting this through my phone, so if the formating is weird...ops.

Warnings: None, this is not proof read.

Genre: Hurt/comfort (?), light angst, fluffy at the end.

Summary: Scaramouche isn't the best with words, but for you, he's willing to tone down a little.

Alternatively: where his darling is fed up with his bad attitude and give him a scare to make him man up lmao.

Words count: 1.18k

Imagine Scaramouche with a significant other who does exactly just what he asks for.

He tells you to leave? Sure, right off the door.

He tells you to not talk to him anymore? Okay, you stay silent like a mute person until he cracks and asks you a question.

He tells your presence is annoying? Watch him crawl back after weeks you went aloof, ignoring his presence in your life. Begrudgingly, he will start to tell you that he had some matters to attend in the specific area he found you, acting like it was a big coincidence you two end up meeting.

It's not as if you don't know that most of the stuff he tells you, he doesn't mean it, not really. You do know it, but that's the thing.

You are a human being, someone who has it's own thoughts, opinions and feelings. And since the beginning of this relationship, Scaramouche made a point quite a few times to ignore it, not trying to apologize or understand that even if you know he doesn't mean it, his actions still might hurt.

How did you two even got in a relationship, in the first place? You, yourself don't know. Sometimes it feels like he sees you more as a subordinate than a lover.

That's when you started taking the approach to stop reading between the fine lines of his words, trying to save some face and dignity he stole from you by crossing and neglecting the boundaries of your good will again and again, discarding your words when you tried to talk to him about it.

Honestly, he's similar to kid throwing a tantrum sometimes. Except he just narrow his eyes at you or gives you a hard glare when you fail to meet his needs. Scoffing when you not bother to try to understand the hidden meaning behind his harsh words, everytime he throws them rudely at your face.

The day he finally got your message through that stubborn head of his, was the day he blew up at your face and took his rage out on you after a particular stress inducing week.

Screaming at you how useless you are, how he didn't need you by his side and how you were a nuisance for foolish thinking he needed some kind of comfort. He told you such humans silly rituals and interactions where bellow him, to just stop nagging him and finding something better to do if this was what you interrupted his work for.

You tried to reason with him, saying that being here for him was just what you were for, what lovers do, they support each other. You just wanted to help him.

Then, he told you that you could help him by getting out of his life, since all you did was get in his way, distracting him from his goals by forcing your unwanted affection down his throat. His words cut deep and managed to finally shut you up, much for his relief.

You noticed that and frowned. You knew he didn't mean it, you knew that. But there's a limit to everything and you have reached yours. Getting the memo that he wants to be alone, you quietly left his office and made your way to his Fatui headquarters, determined to once more do just what he asked of you.

Scaramouche's blood run cold when he saw the empty room, devoid of any of your belongings or clothes. Many scenarios took a turn to settle upon his head, making his thoughts scatter all over the place as the initial shock wear down. The likely scenarios of you being kidnapped or leaving and abandoning him as many others did in the past, always betraying on the bitter end of everything, left him reeling and fuming on the very same spot he lost you.

He frantically searched for you all over the place, sending his Fatui underlings to look through every leaf and hole around the area, not leaving a single rock unturned.

When he finally found you, he was seething with fury, eyes practically bulging out of his face as he angrily demanded to know with a dark voice just what were you thinking and how dare you abandon him just like her did.

Scaramouche righteous anger quickly died down, however, when you threw at his face the same words he spoke earlier on his spur of the moment outburst, reciting letter for letter the painful words he spat like venom at you, wounding your heart in the process. That's when he noticed the hurt flashing through your eyes, a hurt dangerously alike to his.

His face fell.

He was quiet for a moment. Digesting your words wasn't easy. Scaramouche was never good with feelings and he always runs away from whatever situations that require him to face with the complex bundle of emotions that swirls just inside him. They're the moments he's forced to face the fact that he feels just as much as any human he so readily declares bellow him, feels.

And he hates himself for it. It reminds him too much of the time he was but a wandering vagrant of Tatarasuna, eyes sparkling full of wonder and curiosity. In all his glorified naivety, hopeful and yearning for the love of a family he could never attain.

But he hates your absence even more. It exudes such a gruesome, hollow emotion, it brings a hateful sting behind his eyes. Bringing himself to sit down by your side, and for the first time in all of the duration of your relationship, admitting that he was the one in the wrong. He apologizes and begs for you not to go, to not leave him alone.

He truly doesn't know if he can outgrow the pain of being without you, and surprises himself with how earnest he is being, realizing in the process he's much more attached to you than he initially thought.

His own metaphorical heart quivers with the notion, drumming forcefully and shaking the electric cords of his handmade body to it's core. It scares him, the vulnerability of it all, right now feels the same as being completely naked before your eyes. But the fact that you were about to slip away from his reach was terrifying, so he presses on...

After this incident, his behavior do not do an whole 180° turn, but he mellows out quite a bit.

He listens now. He stops with the unnecessary rude comments and have actual talks between the two of you, paying attention to your body reactions to assure himself he hasn't spout anything harmful.

The most noticable change is how he looks more for you and, how he doesn't push you away anymore, when you come to see him. He doesn't outrightly say he enjoys your presence, but he doesn't put a tough facade just to drive you away and prove his point about being "superior", either. He's still serious, but gentler. A soft expression on his face that is reserved for you and these quiet moments with you, and you only.

Talking and communication are still a sore spot for him, being truthful and honest about his emotions not coming as naturally to him as it comes to you.

But he's trying, and for the time being, that's enough for you.

"Where are you going? No, you can stay. You aren't distracting me, how arrogant of you to think so. Contrary to the bumbling fools I hesitate to call co-workers, your presence is much more calming. I feel reassured when you are by my side, so stay."

There's a quiet murmur at the end.

"Please, darling." ~♡

End note: My first fic ever posted on Tumblr 🎉 (PS: I have no idea how Tumblr works LMAO)

[@rivkadreamer on Tumblr, please do not steal my works.]

[quitealotofsodapop]

Ok, so I'm just gonna get this out now . If I wait till I draw it out, it's gonna take a while, and I can't keep my mouth shut. I saw someone mention that spice and sugar would have a daughter as a first born, and I internally cried because I can never have an original idea. In my head, I pictured her with brown fur and colored eyes that remseble sugar's (or maybe spice's, im not too sure on the eye color) with four ears. Having a strong and exentric personality as a child and early teen eventually grows to be a mature woman(she still has a bit of a temper). That was a bit of a problem, seeing as since she was a child, she had KILLER strength. Just imagine a really happy and gentle looking lady walking by, then somebody says something stupid to her and they end up like this:

And I'm guessing she eventually gets twin brothers(seeing as every variation of shadowpeach get twins). If they do get twins, I imagine them looking more like spice. And do you have an idea as to how they would be made? Like, do sugar and spice go the clay route or natural route? Or would they be bisected entities?

What do the 2000s starwalts think of all this?

Sorry for all the questions I got carried away and started rambling :,)

Ref.

Downside of sharing the same Jttw braincell; chance of similar ideas sparking in different brains XD

Spice basically looks like a palette swap of Sugar/Ganzhe due to them being connected species, but with six ears. They spend a long time pretending to just be Sugar's shadow/clone so that they have an excuse to stay with the closest friend they've had in centuries.

The two agree to mutually create and raise kids together after the Journey is over, leading to the creation of their first child Xiao/Cai Hong "Rainbow". Name for the rainbow quartz they rolled into a clay egg to start the process.

The tiniest little monkey with most OP strength hatches once they get home to FFM.

Ultimately the whole kingdom is overjoyed, if not a little sore (baby thrashed a bit when one of the Stalwarts held her and broke their nose). XD

I lvoe the idea of her having little twin brothers. They think their Jiejie is the strongest, most powerful big sister in the world!

The boys are a complete accident. When Sugar and Spice are asked what sort of accident occurred to create them - they got embarrassed and refused to elaborate. (hint: it involved a certain river and an attempt at the "natural" route)

[vodika-vibes]

I have a request vod'ika

What about a f!reader and clone of your choice get into an argument about her going on a black-ops mission. He doesn't want her to go because he loves her but she doesn't know. So she leaves believing he doesn't want her to go because he thinks she's incompetent. When she comes back, she's injured and feels he was right. So she avoids him but he's trying to win her over...

Or something like that.

Not You

Summary: When you’re pulled in for a mission due to your skillset as a slicer, you’re thrilled. Howzer, however, is much less so.

Pairing: Captain Howzer x F!Reader

Word Count: 1288

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: Sorry that this took so long, I've been bouncing between clones for days. First this was going to be Rex, then Dogma, then Tup, then Cody. And I'm still not sure about my characterization of Howzer.

Howzer is in a bad mood.

You’re able to ping his mood from half a hanger away, based solely on the way that he’s carrying himself. And you have a pretty good idea as to why he’s in a bad mood.

And true to your suspicions, he makes a line directly for you.

You turn your gaze back to your equipment, internally cringing when he stops only a couple of feet away from you. You can feel his gaze on you, and while, normally, you would be thrilled that the guy you’re crushing on is staring at you, right now you just feel dread.

“So, I hear you’re going on a mission.” For once, there’s no humor in his voice. In fact, he sounds angry.

You look up at him, your gaze skittering away from him in your anxiety. “I…yeah. They needed a talented slicer, and I got tagged in. It seems like someone finally remembered that I was a slicer before being conscripted into the Imperial Army.” You shrug with a lopsided smile. 

A muscle works in Howzer’s jaw, “You can’t go.”

“...I beg your pardon?”

“It’s not safe. Especially with them.” Howzer says, with a pointed look towards the soldiers that pulled you in on the mission. 

You laugh softly, “Come on, Howzer. Don’t be like that. They need me for this mission, so they’re going to protect me.” Your gaze slides over his face. Across the furrow in his brow, and the way his lips are turned down, and your shoulders slump, “You think I’m incapable.”

“...no. Of course not.”

Your shoulders slump a little more, “Right. Of course.”

His name falls from your lips, and then he hesitates, “Come on, Sunshine.” He tries to offer a smile, though it looks more like a grimace, “Don’t be like that, you know that I have absolute faith in you.”

“Now, Howzer, you don’t. Or else you wouldn’t be so bothered with me going on a mission.” You straighten and hoist your bag over your shoulder, “I have to go, Howie.”

His lips turn down even more, “Yeah, guess so.” He folds his arms over his broad chest, “I’ll…see you when you get back, Sunshine.”

You turn away from him without responding, hurt that he has so little faith in your abilities. You’ll just have to prove him wrong, that’s all.

Easy. After all, this mission isn’t even supposed to be a combat mission. It’s an intel gathering mission. 

Even you can’t mess this up. 

You fall into line with the men who are supposed to keep you safe, and you push your hurt over Howzer’s assumptions about you to the back of your mind.

You can deal with the hurt later.

“Captain,” Howzer looks up as one of his brothers hurries into the room, “The Commander’s squad is back.”

The Commander’s mission. His Sunshine’s mission. 

His lips turn down at the memory of the way that his pretty Sunshine’s eyes dimmed when she believed that he believed that she was incapable. He hadn’t meant to hurt her…he just wanted, needed, her to stay safe.

The thought of her getting hurt stars in every single one of his nightmares. But he never meant for his love to make her feel bad about herself. That was the last thing he wanted.

“It’s about time,” He says blandly, “Where’s the Commander?”

His brother hesitates, “Sir, the mission went wrong. The mission details were all wrong. The squad was ambushed.”

Howzer goes cold, and his hand curls into a fist, hidden under the table. “What happened?”

“The Commander is dead, as is most of the squad.” His brother replies, “There was only one survivor.”

“Ah…what about-?” He’s not able to finish the sentence, the very idea of his Sunshine dying too horrifying to put into words.

“Alive.” His brother’s gaze is sympathetic, “She’s the only survivor. But…she’s hurt. She was shot.”

Howzer was on his feet in a matter of seconds, “Where-?”

“She’s in the infirmary.” He holds out his hands to stop Howzer from leaving the room, “She’s going to be fine, vod. You don’t have to worry.”

“I want to see her.” Howzer says as he pushes past his brother. He hurries down the hall to the infirmary. He pushes the door open, his gaze dark as he flicks around the room, looking for his Sunshine.

And there she is, curled up on her side, her gaze locked on her datapad. She has stark bruises on her face, and her hair has been cropped short, much shorter than it was before she left the base.

She’s beautiful.

He loves her so much.

“Knock, knock.” Her pretty eyes lift from the datapad and lock on his face, and then drop back to the database, “How are you feeling, Sunshine?”

She shrugs a single shoulder, “I’m alive…which is more than can be said for my squad.” Her lips twist, “Guess you were right. I am incapable.”

Howzer’s heart breaks, “Oh, Sunshine,” His voice is soft, as he pulls a chair out and sits next to her, “I don’t think you’re incapable. I’ve never thought that.”

“...sure, right.”

“Will you look at me, please?” He asks as he gently pushes her hair out of her face.

She doesn’t move for a moment, and then her gaze lifts to meet his.

“There you are,” He murmurs, “How are you feeling? I was told that you were shot.”

“...I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt anymore, at least.”

“That’s good.” Howzer’s hand rests on your cheek, “I was worried about you.”

“Because you knew I couldn’t do it.” She says glumly.

“Because I didn’t trust the men who were on the Squad with you.” Howzer corrects, as he strokes her cheek with his thumb, “Because I was sure that, if it came down to it, they would abandon you.”

She blinks at him, “I don’t think they would-”

“They would. They absolutely would.” Howzer corrects, “And the idea of losing you…” He trails off, and shakes his head, “I can’t even consider it, Sunshine. Losing you would destroy me.”

“...you’d be okay, Howzer.”

“No. No, I really wouldn’t.” He lightly caresses her cheek, “You mean everything to me, you know that?”

“I…what?”

“And here I thought I was being obvious.” He jokes with a slightly self-deprecating smile, “You really don’t know how much you mean to me?”

She averts her eyes shyly. “I thought you were just being nice to me.”

“No. No, Sunshine. I love you. More than anything. And I want…need…you to stay safe.”

Slowly she reaches up and presses her hand against his, and she curls her fingers around his hand, “I didn’t know.”

“That’s okay.” Howzer leans in and lightly kisses her forehead, “I know this is a bad time,” He murmurs, “But how do you feel about going on a date with me? Once you’re released from the infirmary, of course.”

She glances up at him, “A date?”

“We can go to the club,” Howzer offers, “I’m a fair dancer.”

A small smile lifts her lips, “I have two left feet.” She warns.

“That’s alright, I’m a good enough dancer for the both of us.” Howzer replies.

She laughs, and favors him with the smallest smile, “Alright. I’d like that. So long as you don’t mind me stepping on your feet.”

“My feet are yours to step on.” Howzer says with a warm smile, before he gently pushes his hand through her hair, “Alright, I’ll let you get some rest, sunshine. Comm me if you need anything.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Howzer presses one last kiss to her forehead and then carefully extracts himself from her, a broad grin on his face. He really is the luckiest asshole on the planet.