#i'm sorry i'm quite vulnerable to the concept of death and life. this is something i think about a lot

[iroissleepdeprived]

he's a mortal and she's a goddess, she will see the next generations of heroes and he will be laying on the soil and all that's left is a tale and a memory !!!!

[thefoxtherapist]

Hello! I hope you are doing well <3

This is a different experience for me as I don’t really request much.. let me know if this is disrespectful or not! but I was hoping to request Jiyan x male/gn reader (i have no preference) angst?

Jiyan has so much angst potential, especially in his story/companion quest! My idea was centered around the reader death (long before this plot) with Jiyan who is still coping about their death. During the retroact rain tacet discords are mimicking their s/o calling out to him like they are still alive. They poke and prod at his vulnerability, with Jiyan having this inner turmoil of how to overcome this.

Thank you for your time! Whether that be indulging in my thoughts or for just reading this request, I appreciate it <3 Take care!

Hi thank you! I'm okay ^^ I hope you are well.

This isn't disrespectful at all don't worry! You did great for a new requester :)

This was quite a sad concept poor Jiyan, giving him hugs.

I hope you still like this even though it doesn't 100% follow the request! Sorry about that, sometimes writing has its own mind without my input..

Jiyan’s grip tightened on his lance after Geshu Lin’s phantom disappeared from sight. No longer haunted by his previous General, he took a deep breath. He turned inwards to the building, he had things to prepare for the coming battle. He had an army to lead and a city to protect. He couldn’t hesitate now.

And yet that was exactly what he did.

Golden eyes moved to the left as he heard a familiar voice. His breath caught in his throat and his heart twisted in an uncomfortable manner. No. He couldn’t listen, he couldn’t falter. Jiyan looked forward, head held high. 

He walked forward, ignoring the voice he sorely missed. 

Every action he took, accompanied by that familiar voice, that missed pitch, the yearning frequency. It was all a trick. Jiyan knew that, he was aware, he wasn’t stupid. Geshu Lin had been difficult to deal with, but he stuck to his knowledge.

But it was different this time, and the General knew that.

You were dead.

Every breath he took was accompanied by the pained beating of his heart. His head swam. Grief. His mother was always so insistent on his grief. That it was something he needed to face, needed to conquer, cope with. But Jiyan always brushed it off. There was no time was his excuse. But he knew better. He knew better, he just cared too much.

He stepped away, finding a barren spot where he could be alone with his thoughts. Jiyan crossed his arms over his chest as he looked out from the small hill he stood on. Clawed fingers of his gauntlet dug into his opposing arm as your voice once more infiltrated his ears, his mind.

The old General wasn’t the only loss three years prior and it was a guilt that Jiyan struggled with. 

Jinzhou was a battlefield.

The Resonator looked up, watching as the rain fell upwards. His face still wet as the rain caressed his skin as it floated upwards above him. He uncrossed his arms, lifting his hand to follow the path of the rain. 

He’d been a medic back then, but your life was not one he could save.

The General’s hand closed in a tight fist, arm dropping back down to his side. Even with the antidote against the rain, he could still hear you calling out to him after all these years. But he was left with a lingering fear that if he turned around he’d be faced with the tacet discords that similarly used Geshu Lin against him.

Geshu Lin had obtained an infamous reputation for his choice to stand strong, blamed for the loss of their soldiers.

And you.

Jiyan’s eyebrows furrowed as he closed his eyes, unable to take the soft whimpers of his name, you hadn’t even cried for help, you simply told him to push on, to leave you behind. Was that how he knew the phantom behind him was nothing more than a mimic? Perhaps. Or your phantom was influenced by his own regret.

Huanglong did not know of the sacrifice you made to send him forward. 

“You’ll come back for me, Jiyan. You always do.”

He turned his head away, chewing the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood on his tongue. No positive outcomes that day could ever wash away the reality of it all. He’d lost a lover, he’d lost a friend. One forgotten, one cast as a villain. 

“Jiyan.. My love? Is it really that bad? Oh don’t look at me like that!”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’ll be okay, really!”

Jiyan opened his eyes.

All he had done was retreat.

[thesharktanksdriver]

The wanderers tale of Chang’e and Houyi (romantic)

This isn’t canon to these part 1 and part 2

This is a what if scenario, and I might write some more for different characters. None for the Greek pantheon tho for obvious reasons

This was a lot of fun to write, sorry if Qin is out of character but he is fucking whipped in love. Man is literally on his knees

tried adding some historical stuff in this but i'm not the most knowledgable on Chinese history or myth so please take it with grain of salt

For much of his life the concept of love is foreign to Qin let alone that of the romantic kind

Sure, he saw displays of it in small ways on the streets

A couple linking hands or exchanging kisses behind the cover of fans in the midnight hour

But he never thought he’d experience it

For he was hated by everyone including himself for the sins of of his family

For the deaths they caused that now transferred to him by the blood in his veins

It is cruel but for the longest time he accepted he’d never be given love of any kind until Chun Yan showed him he was worthy of it

It is through her he learns familial love

Not romantic love of any sorts but a type of love that leads him to discover and be curious of the other forms of love later on in his life

When he becomes empowered he explores this concept as times goes on

Lust and desire

But never actual connection

Not the love he’d hear in tales or see between young lovers

No, He’d yet to still experience that actual form of romantic connection formed through genuine intimacy

But for awhile he was fine with that

Perhaps even grateful he had not been subjected to such an intense feeling

Something that could bring down entire empires and could shatter men’s spirits like sticks to a boot

And for a long time it remains that way

Until the 3rd year of your friendship with him as his personal historian

It’s hardly something he notices at first

Just the small feeling of wanting to be near you more often than he already was

It was strange but be brushed it off for a long while

Perhaps it was him just missing your presence due to the two faced courtesans he had to deal with on a daily basis

No one was quite as truthful or real as you were

You never had stray intentions with him

Just treating him as a real person

Still respectful but not overly so

It’s a slow process for him

One built on denial and confusion as he tries in his mind to write off his behaviour

He’d never felt this type of love before

It’s foreign and slightly scary to him for several reasons

One of which is cause he’s afraid of loss

The death of Chun Yun had…hurt him a lot

Left himself a shattered visage to be rebuilt into a strong facade

For not only himself but also his people

It is something done due to his duty

A responsibility placed on his shoulders

He takes being a king seriously but in the process he loses a bit of himself

With you though he makes the choice to spend time with you

Listen

Indulge

Talk

When he’s with you warmth blossoms in his chest like a flower in full bloom

Petals opening to reveal something beautiful yet tender

It feels…nice

He feels for once vulnerable

And it’s nice yet scary

But with time he eases into it

Gently placing his heart in your hands

It beats like a drum in your presence much to his pride

But at the same time. He enjoys the sensation

The fact that you make him feel so flustered

It’s honestly amazing that such small acts such as your smile can make the emperor feel light on his feet

He once laughed at the tall tales of men foolishly in love

Now he is that fool

The ones who’d offer the moon and hang the stars in their beloveds name

Chun Yun once talked of love once, hoping he’d one day experience that beautiful emotion

He now understood as to why she spoke so highly of it

But as he finally admits to himself that he’s fallen deeply head first into this endless void

You reveal you must leave soon

Unknown to you his heart cracks

In the months ticking down to your departure he spends as much time with you as he can

He feels now that he’d taken your presence for granted

A luxury that he assumed would stay despite knowing you were a free bird

One who would not stay east forever and eventually travel somewhere else

He feels desperate though

Grasping at strings to reach out and convince you to stay

Pleading with every interaction for you stay

To please stay

in time he realizes it’s a fruitless endeavour

Yet he tries anyways

Because that’s the only thing he can do

Yet he can’t admit his feelings

Especially now that your leaving

Maybe confessing would get you to stay but it feels cruel, a way to guilt you into become a caged bird

Love should not be bound in shackles or a gilded cage

It is free

And he would never take that away from you

So he tries to convince you with deals

With time dwindling down he tries to inch closer

A hand almost touching your own

Eyes staring with lidded looks beneath their gaze

It’s not direct, perhaps the only time the emperor isn’t

He feels himself clam up at the last minute

It’s unbefitting of him but it’s Ying Zheng peaking through the cracks and taking the reigns of his heart

The young boy from the streets who only wanted love

Who’s scared of ruining what’s more than enough for that fragile heart

It’s pathetic that he’s battling with himself over this

A back and forth between two voices in his mind of his head and heart

Yet it endures as the days whittle down

During this time he becomes interested in tales of love

Specifically that of Houyi and Chang’e

A love bound for tragedy

A simple mortal man in love with someone divine

Requited yet torn apart

Yet despite it all he still loves her and still still mourns and waits

In some sense he hopes for something like this

But for now he resonates with the story

So much so he decided to incorporate the story into a parting gift for you

A bracket

One that is beautifully crafted with his finest stones

Intricately crafted to last

One that is made to pair with his own

It’s a sign that you will forever be the emperors closest friend

But also with the double meaning of a reference to Chang’e

To him you are his Chang’e, his love who shall never age and has to leave despite how much he pleads

And he is Houyi, who can only watch and do nothing but shed tears as you go

As you leave on your stead and ponders if this was the worst pain imaginable

Having you gone is a change of pace that leaves him uneven

There are no more talks of travel

Of warrior’s and battles from far off lands

A new courtesan takes your place but it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth

He wonders if your alright

If your ok

You once talked of a loneliness of being immortal

Seeing those you loved dear die from the passage of time

It’s natural yet it hurts

The loss of Chun Yun was one of the worst pains in his life, but knowing you’d always outlive those you’d grown close to must be hell

He doesn’t want to put you though than once more if he can do something to stop it

He anything but a simple man

And he begins trying to at least look for a solution

It is a neigh impossible task but he tries

And tries

And tries

And years tick onwards

When he lays awaken in silk sheets alone at night he stares at the moon

Taking another mercury pill as he stares at the silvers rays of light

A part of him knows that the pills aren’t his ticket to immortality

But he pushes himself to try anyways

Cause he is so desperate to become immortal for you

So he can be by your side without fear of hurting you in the end by dying

If it came down to it he’d leave everything he’s built till now for it

His empire could be transferred to someone else and he’d be completely fine with it

He’d be fine going back to a simple life

Perhaps he’d even prefer it over all the frugality of court life

And it would all be because of you

Beautiful and kind you who had shown him true love

Not fake nor manufactured to manipulate him to certain ideals or sides

Just true and pure love that formed through meaningful conversations and a beautiful friendship

So he swallows down the silver liquid

Ignoring the taste and how he feels his sanity slipping each time he take yet another

Though he bares heirs in the form of sons he never takes an empress or official partner

For in his heart that place is forever filled by you

And as he lays dying as he tours his beautiful land

The land in which you traversed and loved oh so dearly

He can’t help but smile as his tells his guards to let you in

They cast you glances of curiosity that he straightens out with his glare

He asks for privacy and they comply

Leaving you and him alone yet again like those nights long past where you and him would talk

He raises a hand to caress your face

“I think this is my end, I feel myself slipping every moment”

There is no sadness in his voice, just a chuckle as he gazed up at your beautiful face highlighted by glistening tears

They remind him of diamonds or the morning-dew

“I’m sorry I couldn’t visit sooner-“

“Shhh, it’s alright. What matters is now”

At that you have a small smile that makes his heart beat faster than it had in months

For a long while now he knew he was on the brink of death but still pretended (even to himself) that he’d be fine

He was emperor

The king of kings

But now as he lay in his death bed, Alone with the one person who seen him as he is

He was no longer king, he was Ying Zheng

Someone who was utterly human

A man in pursuit of that horridly consuming emotion of love

Requited or not he didn’t care

All that did matter was that he try, try to make you happy

To ease your emotions of utterly loneliness at loosing almost everyone you come to care for

You don’t curse death but he does in your place

How can he not when he shall never see your face again in the afterlife

You may have accepted death as a natural part of life

That it’s alright you will never see your friends again

But he thinks it’s cruel

A awful fate for someone as radiant as yourself

You seem to see his thoughts and silences them with a smile as a gentle hand cradles his face

All this thoughts of cursing death pause

And he focuses on you

The gentle curve of your face that was shaped with skilled hands

Those tear lined eyes that outshine any jewel in his treasury

A smile that outshined the very sun in the sky

Skin softer than the best silk robes he wears as he awaits death

The harsh cold ranking his body fades away and all he feels is warmth

A warm numbness taking over

You say something but he can’t hear it

He says so in a soft voice that comes out as a whisper

You nod

He’s fading by the moment

A part of him has accepted this fate but the other still fights

Still wishes and begs to just push further

Immortality could still be possible

But as you lean closer that voice quieted down

Both did

All he focused on was you giving him something he had wanted for years

Lips connect and he feels a jolt of many emotions

Joy

Sadness

Relief

And Peace

He swears he sees purple sparks flutter around you like petals of soft flowers

This was your goodbye to him

A kiss of goodbye

A kiss of reciprocated feelings between one another

A kiss of star crossed lovers bound to a fate of their love never working

And a kiss of death

“I hope I have a next life where we may meet again so you don’t have to be alone once more”

After so long of the afterlife and it’s pleasant buzz of apathy he’s suddenly confused when he wakes up

Well more like being woken up by yelling and the sound of breaking things as other men around him look just as disoriented and confused as he was

But then a woman appears, one dressed in white with a otherworldly aura

The look in her eyes is determined and simultaneously baring the weight of the world in them

He gets up from laying down in his casket, silken robes swaying as his feet touch the marble ground

He’s alive once more and somehow younger

In his prime again

In that moment he’s tempted to just leave the room and head out to find you once more but waits

He suspects The ethereal woman standing unafraid in front of him and the various other men who seemed to be warriors is the reason behind this

And has a reason as to why she chose very specific people to seemingly bring back from the dead

And not long after he learns that reason

“The gods want to wipe out humanity. I chose you all to participate in Ragnarok, a battle of 13 chosen contestants against the gods to the death. the determiner of humanity’s fate”

Ah, now that makes sense

But then why did she say 13?

There are 12 fighters here and she doesn’t seem as if she’ll be participating

She seems to most likely be the player in this game

Their her pieces to lead into battle so-

Suddenly his eyes dart to the doors across the room

They open and he watches as a familiar person enters

One who’s face was forever ingrained in his mind from restless nights left awake

Someone with the same smile as the day he first had a real conversation with them

It’s you

Before anyone could react he’s already across the room

Silk robes fluttering in the air as he darts past other warriors of different times eras

You have the same beautiful smile on your face

Arms already open wide as the first emperor crashes into your form

Arms wrapped tightly around you as if you’d disappear if he let go

Words in his mother tongue that was now a dead language fall from his mouth

Hushed rambles unbefitting of a king yet he doesn’t give a fuck

Why should he when your here

He was no king in your presence

For he was just a man with his heart on a platter, handing it to your gentle but weathered hands

It would not matter if you crushed it or treasured it

Only that you accept it

The room is completely quiet as you respond back in the same tongue

Almost as if you’d spoken it everyday and not in literal centuries

he holds back tears that will be saved for later when he had an actual private moment with you

With some hesitation he pulls back

Still feeling as if you’d disappear like sand between his fingers if he let go

But when he does he’s simply met once more with your smiling face

It shines radiantly like the sun, moon and stars

You were his sun, moon and stars

“We have a lot to catch up on Qin”

“Yes we do beloved”

“Beloved? Heh, I wish you had called me that much sooner than years after your death”

“I have some time to make up for that don’t I?”

“Not much…but it should be enough for me. I’ve missed you”

“As did I”

Safe to say after a bit of an explanation from the Valkyrie who introduced herself as Brunhilde the other warriors as hounding him for answers

Particularly cause many of them were apparently some past friends of yours

Some before and after his death

It’s interesting meeting the many he heard about in person

But what’s more is the ones that came after him

The fact that you’d apparently mention him

Or someone close to his description who was very dear to you

It’s odd hearing about his legacy but from your words

They spoke of his character and didn’t focus on the achievements

Highlighted the fact he was a human

A man just like any other who had risen from poverty to power

His misdeeds but also a reason as to why such decisions were made

A balanced perspective

Not like he’d except anything else from you

A true historian through and through

Much had changed throughout the years

The world was completely different from his time, as was his empire

It’s to be expected though and he enjoys learning all that had changed

In the quiet moments you talk he finds himself content

Sure, he’s supposed to be facing a god soon who has a good chance of killing him

But at the moment it doesn’t matter

There’s still time before the matches begin

Still town to train with not only his fellow contestants but also you

Something he particularly was excited about since he’d never seen you seriously fight

Well until now

Your true immortality come full purpose

Wound after wound being instantly healed with a few sparks of purple lightning fizzing around your form

Loud strikes echoing in the training grounds as he watches from afar

Gods he feels weak at the sight of your battle determined face

Violet lightning making your form look even more powerful

A few warriors like Lü Bu and Raiden tease him for being whipped for you

But the others seem to enjoy how this prideful king does a 180 the moment your around

It’s fun and nice

Though they had not known him for long they get the sense he’s a guarded man

Someone who had been hurt and vowed to not show that vulnerability once more

But it seems you had changed that

Breaking through that wall around his heart to let his true self deep through the cracks

While alone with you it’s a calm but joyful experience

You lay in his lap, head readying against his thighs covered in soft silky material

You say he doesn’t have to do so, but he insists

Despite loving in indulging in luxuries it seemingly switched when you were around

Him wanting to instead indulge you in the greatest he could offer

You don’t need it but its nice being cared for

Gently held by warm hands that help the tenseness in your shoulders or plays with your hair

once in his presence you allow yourself to enjoy in this indulgence

Small protests going away as soon as you laid down on hundreds of cushions as he worked his metaphorical magic

Conversations here go beyond what had just changed

Often reminiscing of old court life and what you had done or seen over the years

The people you’d met

The places you’d wished you could have taken him to

Outside of his room is an arena where the weight of the world weighs on both your shoulders

But in here it’s just you both catching up on lost time

Affectionately in each others embrace

Old and new nicknames falling from each others lips

Flowery language long abandoned by the world in a dead language brought back

A love not meant to be now brought back from the ashes like a Phoenix

Sometimes he thinks this is a dream he’ll wake up from

Being cruelly ripped from your loving arms and back into that of deaths cold embrace

But as you kiss comforts into his ears the thought melts away

He was in heaven

This was something he’d fight for

A mere mortal like him in the arms of something Divine

Something that would be frowned upon yet neither of you cared

Not when you’d both awaited to reunite despite fate saying naught

“You make me feel alive…human even”

“Who’s to say you aren’t human in the first place?”

“I’m a soulless being, one made of artificial flesh and lightning coursing through my veins. I’d say I’m hardly human”

“Your the most beautiful thing ever created ”

Your father contrary to Qin’s initial beliefs is practically radiating joy when he meets the former king

Hephaestus is jolly, giving a firm handshake despite being a god

It’s a bit jarring at first

But in a good way

It’s no wonder you become the person you are today, especially with such a gruff yet gentle man that had made you with his bare hands

Smouldering smoke wafts up from the man’s singed beard

Embers glowing softly when you embrace him with the same kindness he exudes

He smells of the forge, metal, sweat, ash and fire

It’s a deep contrast to your more earthy toned one

Something that spoke of adventure and travel

Yet despite the glaring differences your both much alike

A father and his child

Different yet more alike than what meets the eyes

Talk with Hephaestus is easy

Eager to hear of how you both met or ramble about his inventions

The way he seems so genuinely engaged with any type of small conversation makes Qin think of himself as a kid

Someone who everyone looked down upon and never gave the light of day

A begging soul pleading for someone to listen

He feels an knot of rage and pain wind up in his soul

This god was caring, more caring than many of the people he encountered in his life

A man who loved his work

His home

His craft

Yet no one listened

No one cared

No one accept his child and now the human contestants of this arena

The two form a deep friendship

Something formed through similar hardships

A kinship made through the unspoken words of “I get it” and “your not alone”

It makes you happy your father found a friend in the one you hold dearest to your heart

As does Qin who becomes more sympathetic as to why Hephaestus was so happy for you finding love in the first place

A marriage that was unhappy from the start

Trying to make the best of it anyways

Continued sorrow

Heartbreak

Betrayal from a brother

Wanting some type of love from anyone

Qin swears to himself if he’d ever encounter those who had made this man’s life hell he’d put them through the same

No one gets away with hurting someone important to the Emperor

Especially not family

“Treat them right and don’t break their heart boy. That’s all I ask of you.”

“You don’t need to say it twice. You have my word as Emperor”

“Heh, I like you. How about we talk business later, I’d hate to see you break that second requirement due to this whole fiasco”

The 7th round steadily approaches much to your anxiety

It’s noticeable to him how scared you are for him

The other can’t tell but he’s been around you enough to know your quirks

The slight tapping of your finger

Small bursts of violet sparks

The way your eyes seem more cloudy

He does his best to show you not to worry

That he’s strong enough to up against whoever is pitted against him

He spars with Kojiro and even is able to get Buddha to give some extra pointers to ease your mind

It doesn’t do much though

He can’t exactly blame you, once before you saw him die peacefully

But now there’s a chance you’ll see it again in a violent manner

He could already imagine how hard that first death was for you

The second would be devastating

Seeing those tear stained eyes was enough for him to promise himself he’d win no matter the Cost

He’d discard an arm or leg if he had to

But he had to win for you

For humanity that you love with a whole heart

This world was worth protecting

With a sigh he reclines back in the red cushioned throne

Soon he’d be out in that arena

Life or death

This VIP section was nice except for the nosey people already there

Though he wondered where you were, you said you’d meet him here?

Maybe you got lost..,he remembers the time you ended up in a different castle by accident

The memory makes him smile

Even as he’s flipping the man who grabbed him into the ground like he’s nothing

These guys need to humble themselves

Their in the presence of an emperor

The king of kings

Despite saying this aloud the big guy doesn’t get the picture

He blabbers on about being a god before Qin once again flips the man onto the stone ground

The other man though seems amused and offers a drink

One that he kindly accepts as he is about to question if the messenger of the gods can find you-

Turns out this “wasn’t” his room

Something of which you gently tell him with a laugh

Brunhilde looked less amused as you did

As did Ares

But Hermes found it seemingly hilarious

Especially since everyone else in the room can’t help but deadpan as he pulls you into the seat with him

Holding you close as you sigh with a small grin and accept his affection

It is a small moment of comfort

One that both of you know wont last forever

Or wont be guaranteed in the future

Despite that he is confident as ever

Something that makes you want to simultaneously bash your head into a wall about and smile at his unwavering spirit

The emperor’s after him roll out a carpet for him to walk down

But before that he pulls you aside

“Don’t die on me again….” The words are choked up in your throat but your able to get them out after a moment “please Qin, I love you too much to loose you again”

“Have some faith in me. I’m an emperor, king of kings, and you’re my divine being. You have me your blessing of love, that enough will get me through this” the tone in which he says this is both confident and gentle. He kneels down, pressing his lip’s against your knuckles. It leaves the onlooking pair of gods and Valkyrie’s agape.

He gets up, standing on the balcony to jump down towards his carpeted walkway. But just before he can you pull him down and press a passionate kiss against his lips. The crowd goes wild in both confusion and shock. “Call this an extra blessing” at that comment he smiles.

You turn to leave the god area with the two Valkyrie sisters, but not before turning to the two gods. “Sorry for the trouble. I can definitely say though that I won’t be pulling something like that for my round” as you say this you look over your shoulder, surveying their reactions. Ares is shock, Hermes like before is amusement and curiosity. You were a contestant, how interesting.

The fight is long and arduous

Armour enchanted and enchanted by both Hephaestus and his Völunder

Hephaestus couldn’t do too much in case of suspicion but he did make it a bit more durable and light

He’s bloodied and bruised

An arm was lost

But despite it all he won

He won for humanity

Won for you

And somehow in the process won the respect of the god he was faced against

Hades, king of the underworld

The only other man he’d call a king, for he in this fight had truly showed he earned that title

Both went into this battle for someone

But he prevailed in the end cause you were still there to fight for

This wasn’t a fight for revenge like Hades gad set out to do

His fight was to sustain you and the rest of the world

To keep you safe and happy

Preserve the world you loved despite its flaws

Qin Shi Haung for a portion of his life had nothing

But now that he had the love of someone he would do his best to keep it intact

To forever keep a smile on your face to keep his sun in the sky

Despite how much he’s in pain from both his injuries and his Mirror Touch Synesthesia he gives his respect to Hades

His foe

His equal as a king

His friend

Alvitr is screaming in his mind to get to the medbay already but he waits a moment as the dust settles

Both sides after cheering from humans and shock from gods quiets down

Alvitr appears at his side just as injured as he is

She almost tumbles to the ground

Before he can catch her someone jumps out from the stands beside Chun Yan and her son

A kasa hat with a veil trailing behind it fluttering in the wind as the warrior wearing it rushes towards the two

It happens within a split second but your at their sides

Grabbing the two inured winners

“Careful, you won and can’t just go dying on me after all that”

He chuckles at that, leaning into your touch as Alvitr gives a small tired thanks

You smile, your own thank you falling from your lips for protecting him

For making sure he got out of this alive

“Don’t attribute that to me. The entire time this prideful king had someone on his mind” she says this in a cheeky tone as you carry them both back to the medbay

A certain pep in your step

The crowd of both sides watches on with curiosity

In the medbay as they both are put into pods you await by their sides

Watching patiently

A hand against the glass encasing him

Your dad was already at work on a prosthetic for both of them

Something you were grateful for

You think back to the fight

It leaves…and unknown taste in your mouth that’s bitter and sweet

Qin had won

But in the process Hades was dead

You didn’t know your “family” well except for the snippets your father told you

Almost all were bad

All used him for their own goals or belittled him for his appearance

But from what you removed Hades was one who was seemingly neutral

Perhaps even somewhat kind to your father

Thanking him for his work done

Glaring at opposers who insulted him

In that sense he earned your respect

But with the battle you saw more if his character

Poseidon you couldn’t care less about but with Hades you felt more conflicted

Sighing you lean back resting yourself against the pod

There’s silence and then you hear something

Looking down you see his eyes cracked slightly open

His now only remaining hand pressing against the glass just like your own

His eyes close once more and you keep your hand atop his own

A pane of glass separating the two of you

Despite not needing sleep you close your eyes

Resting against the glass

Eventually you feel something draped over your shoulders

Turning your head you see Chun Yun and her son

Both with worried expressions but also happiness

His hand pressed against the glass trying to reach to yours is prof enough he’s still fighting

Fighting for you

And your waiting here for him

The woman who became his mother figure and her son pull up seats near your own

You feel a smile cross your face

“I’d wait till the end of time for you to wake up. Take as long as you need, I’ll be there when you wake”

[anghraine]

For the shipping ask game: Faramir and Eowyn

I don't mono-ship it like Elizabeth/Darcy, but I do ship it a lot!

1- What made you ship it?

It is about 70% the beautiful writing of their romance in the book to 30% my love for them individually and being delighted at the concept of putting them together and letting them find happiness that way after lives of such grinding hopelessness.

2- What are your favorite things about this ship?

I really like that, as contracted as their romantic narrative is (and I do wish there was more of it, pacing be damned), Tolkien takes care to establish that they're friends. They like each other as people!

I don't think Éowyn really saw Aragorn as her friend in that way—he was too glamorous in her eyes for that. She didn't truly know him. But though the overall course of her relationship with Faramir is so fast, I think she does know and care about him for his own sake and not only for what he brings to her.

Even when she thinks she doesn't return his feelings, she's quite gentle about it in a way that's pretty unusual for her. And though Faramir always has a strain of gentleness in his character, I think a lot of his sternness (though not strength) falls away with her as they become close.

I also think there's something very adorable and characteristic about their physical impressions of each other, lol. Faramir is like ... wow, she's prettier than flowers, and the women of my own people, and I'm sorry she's sad like me. Maybe we could spend some time together. And Éowyn is like, damn, he is tall, and could kick the ass of almost everyone I know. He's nice about it, but what if I seem silly and immature to him?

<3

3- Is there an unpopular opinion you have on this ship?

I think they're happy, but it's complicated by political necessity—not in the sense of them being at odds politically, but of them being in separate places for substantial lengths of time. I think this would especially be the case in the earlier years, when Aragorn is often at war; Tolkien described one of Faramir's responsibilities as hereditary Steward as "representative of the king during his absence abroad" and another as "chief counsellor" of Aragorn's council.

Ithilien, meanwhile, is in a vulnerable position with a lot of work needed to keep it safe and functional, and my headcanon is that while they do work together, there are plenty of times when it's Éowyn doing a lot of the day-to-day work of holding things together in Ithilien while Faramir is first and foremost the Steward of Gondor. Arguably, she's more Prince of Ithilien than he is.

And much later, of course, they're separated for a pretty long while by her death. :( I don't think she gets Éomer's lifespan and Faramir would still outlive her considerably if she did.

Oh, also, I like their arcs overall, but I do agree with some of the critiques of Éowyn's part in the treatment of war. It's not that she should have stayed a warrior because she's a badass blahblah (this makes zero sense in the context of LOTR), but that the totality of her rejection of her previous way of life is not fully prepared for structurally, and Tolkien's ideology of peace > war etc seems far more integral to her character's resolution than any human man's, including Faramir's.

Théoden and Éomer are glorified as warriors, and Faramir's prowess is emphasized even though he doesn't like it (and Tolkien seems to have imagined he'd continue to act as a military leader and be the one clearing out Ithilien). But abandonment of fighting is built into Éowyn's arc beyond any character's but Frodo's (and he was never a warrior anyway). Her interest in the specific future she chooses with Faramir is not much prepared for in terms of writing. And this whole part of her arc is compressed into one small part of one chapter. So, yeah, the defenses of how this aspect of their romance is executed do ring a bit hollow to me.

[hollanderfangirl]

Let me go |Harry Holland|

Pairing: Harry Holland x Therapist! Reader

A/N: so I'm not a therapist and I've never been to therapy, well if you don't consider the sessions with my psychology teacher. All of what I've written comes from what I've learnt in psychology class, reading books and listening to other people's experiences.

Warnings: talk about death, panic attack and it's just really sad

Word count: 3.3k, this is my longest fic yet :)

(Sorry for the shitty moodboard I just had to post this fic or I would have lost my mind)

Harry Holland walked through the halls of the clinic, not really sure why he was here. Well he knew why he had come to see a therapist but he wondered how he put himself in this situation. He had been locking himself inside a glass cave built out of hopelessness for months, his friends and family were greatly concerned about him but he refused to take any help. He had always been stubborn, he never asked for anybody's help. He hated the look of pity on people's faces. He hated people showing him sympathy. He was more than this. He didn't need anybody. He can pull himself together, he just needed time.

But it wasn't helping. Burying your feelings in has never helped anybody. Putting on a smile everyday in front of people and crying himself to sleep, Harry found it more and more difficult. His mum had sensed it and told him to go and see a doctor. He had resisted it at first. 

"Please do it for me, Harry. I cannot see you like this, at least for my satisfaction," Nikki had said. "Just go for a trial session and if you like it then you can continue," but of course he wasn't going to continue. 

Now as he stood in front of the receptionist, he was reconsidering his decision. 

"Yes, do you have an appointment, sir?" 

"Huh?" he seemed lost. "Yeah..yeah" 

"Just wait here, I'll inform Dr Y/l/n" 

"Your know what, cancel the appointment. I- I don't need help" 

"Oh but this is just a trial, Mr Holland" 

"Yeah but I don't-" the receptionist was already at the door, muttering something to the woman inside. 

You step outside to see a curly headed man, he looked pleasant but his eyes looked sad. Those were the eyes of a person who had seen immense grief, someone who had been miserable for a long long time. 

"I'm sorry but I don't need therapy… I didn't realise this before, I -I shouldn't have come here" 

"Oh Mr Holland, this is just a trial right? Let's just have some coffee. This isn't therapy yet" you smile at him. 

"No I really-" 

"Okay then, give me half an hour. If you still feel the same way, then you can leave. Half an hour is all I want from you, Mr Holland" 

"Alright" 

You lead him into your chamber, closing the door behind you. He sits down on a couch across from you, your desk separating you both. The first step of therapy- resistance. People always resist therapy at first, they feel like they don't need the help or maybe seeking help makes them weak. They don't feel like opening up to a complete stranger. How can they? How can they open up their most vulnerable state to a person who they barely know? But slowly and steadily, a rapport is made. A therapist has to be very careful and empathetic. They have to be trusting. Someone who people can turn to. Someone who they can relate to. Someone who understands them. Someone who would just listen. 

"So, your mother sent you here. Right, Mr Holland?" 

"Just- just call me Harry" 

"Okay then Harry, tell me" 

"What do you want me to tell you?" 

"Everything. Start from the beginning" 

"Well I- do you… do you really think I would-" he hesitates. "Who do you think you are? Why do you think I should pay you to listen to my goddamn life story here?" 

"You're not here to tell me your life story," you say politely. "I'm here to help you and I can do that only if you would let me" 

"Well guess what? You cannot help me, I knew I was wasting my time," he gets up and starts to walk away. 

"I asked for half an hour of your time, Harry" 

"Well I don't fucking care" 

"Harry, please listen to me. All I ask is half an hour" 

Little did he know, this half an hour was going to change his life. 

Something about your tone made him stay. He sat back down on the couch, turning away from you. 

"Okay, so if you're not going to talk, I will," you sigh. "So, you have suffered a great loss, someone you loved dearly?" 

"Yes," he still didn't look you in the eye. 

"Who was it?" 

"My…my friend. Girlfriend" 

"And when did this happen?" 

"A year ago" 

"How have you been holding up?" 

He thought of giving another vague answer. How the fuck do you think I'm holding up? I'm fucking dying every single day. 

"Uh- it's been a little better, I guess. It's not as bad as it used to be" 

"Well that's a start. And do you still think about her?" 

Every goddamn minute, lady. What do you want from me? "Yeah sometimes" 

"And how have you been sleeping?" 

I can't sleep. I haven't slept properly for months. If I sleep I see her coming back to me. "Alright I guess" 

This wasn't going anywhere. You thought of recommending him another doctor but something about him charmed you. He was a man who should have been living a great life but his grief was tearing him apart. You had to help him. You felt a strong connection to him, you felt determined. No, I have to help him. I just have to.

"Harry, do you feel like you're responsible for your girlfriend's death?" it was a straightforward question, you had been trying to get something out of him but he wasn't ready to. 

He looked at you dead in the eye, yet could not get any words out. You could sense the anger building up inside him but it wasn't projected at you, he was angry with himself. 

"I….. " he took a few deep breaths, clenching his hands into fists. "Yes" 

"Why is that so?" 

"Fucking hell! Are you for real? She died, okay? And I wasn't there… I wasn't there.. " he was tearing up. "I should have been the one to die! Not her! Not anybody! Everyone just leaves me in the end!" he was full on shouting, letting out everything he had been holding inside himself for a whole year. He had tears in his eyes.

You handed him a box of tissues and he was gasping for breath. When he had calmed down, you both sat in silence for a few minutes. 

"You know, Harry, my friend died the day we had a fight. She was my best friend. I knew her ever since we were three. It was a silly argument. We should not have fought about it. But we did and I told her I wished she would just go away… and then she did" it was painful for you to remember this, but time does heal everything. 

"I'm sorry," his voice was low. "And I'm sorry for all those things I said" 

"No it's alright, that's what you're here for. And besides, it's nothing compared to your loss, Harry" 

"No. It- it's not a competition. Suffering is not a competition. It must've been really hard for you, Dr y/l/n," this was the first time he had addressed you. 

"Call me y/n," you smile at him. "And yeah that's very true. We often blame ourselves, you know, it's very common. We cannot be angry at them so we get angry with ourselves. Even though we know deep in our hearts that there was nothing we could have done" 

There was a long silence. 

"She went out for a drive, that bastard drunk driver," he spoke up. "And I was just resting. She asked me so many times to join her but I wanted to sleep" 

You nod at him and he continued. "That's…the reason I'm not able to sleep. Every night I close my eyes, I think I'll wake up to that phone call" 

"Well yes I don't blame you, our brains sometimes don't process things that come as a shock. And then it just keeps on haunting us forever. Do you believe in life after death, Harry?" 

"Well I don't know what to believe" 

"Have you- felt her? After she was gone?" 

"You'll think I'm crazy" 

"I'm a therapist, it'll take you much more than that to convince me you're crazy" 

"I sometimes talk to her. Like what would she think about this particular situation. Or just that I miss her so much. I don't get any responses but I just try to think like her?" 

"Yeah, that's quite normal actually. People think they need to 'get over' someone's death. But that's not true. You can never really get over something like death" 

"And what does getting over even mean? Like you just forget them? Moving on with your life just means that you think they were never a part of it" 

"Well you're both right and wrong. Yes we must remember our loved ones who are not with us anymore but at the same time, we have to let them go" 

"How? It's too painful" 

"I know. But do you believe in the concept of souls, Harry?" 

"Yeah I mean," he shrugs. 

"The soul is considered to be immortal. And groups of souls tend to travel together. Even if you don't know it, some way, somehow, they're always with us" 

He says nothing but his eyes looked softer now. 

"And just think about it, think of her seeing you like this. Do you think she could have handled you being so miserable?" 

"She would have been heartbroken" 

"Exactly. So do it for her, for yourself. For both of you to feel peace again" 

"Yeah" 

You look at your watch. Half an hour was up. 

"So, Harry. Your half an hour is up. Is there anything else?" 

"Yes, um we can talk about it in our next session?" 

You smile at him. "Of course" 

                          ----------------

After that one half an hour session, Harry was a changed man. He was still mourning, he was still miserable but he had hope. For the first time in a long time, he thought he could actually go on with his life, he could finally feel peace.

The week went by smoothly. Harry tried to make himself busy, by surrounding himself with people and always working. He was still getting nightmares but he was determined to sleep. He was sleeping light, afraid of what deep sleep might show him.

Meanwhile your life was exactly the same, you went on with your day treating people, talking, helping them. You loved your job, you loved the sense of satisfaction you got after patients they told you they were finally better. Every person was a challenge, and you knew there was a gem hidden inside every one of them. All of them had immense potential but life hadn't been kind to them. You felt disturbed and it broke your heart to see people hurting. And you would do anything to make it better for them. To help them.

You couldn’t keep Harry out of your mind. You were thinking about him all day long, awaiting your next session with him. What if he cancels? What can I do if he does? Why am I thinking about him? He had this air around him, a magnetic pull, which was pulling your closer and closer towards him. And why is he so damn attractive? No I should not think about him that way. It was the first and foremost rule of your profession. Never get emotionally attached with your clients. It was a professional relationship and must remain that way.

When he came into your office the following week, you could sense the change in him. You felt proud that a single session made such a difference. There was no arrogance in him, he didn’t seem angry anymore. He was calm and better.

“So, Harry. How was your week?”

“It was good, I’ve been shooting my new short film and it’s coming out to be okay so far”

“Alright and how have you been sleeping?”

“Not that good to be honest. I still get dreams, uh bad dreams”

“What do you see in these dreams?”

“I see the accident scene….again and again, it’s the same dream. Sometimes I see her, she talks to me and all that”

“Hmm and have you talked to your family? Your friends?”

“Yeah I talked to my mum…and my brother”

“What did they say?”

“They said they are here for me and will always love me”

“Yes and I don’t doubt that, Harry. You have a lot of people in your life who love and support you. Embrace that”

The session went by smoothly, he opened up to you about his life, everything about the girl he loved so much. About his family, his career. You found yourself staring at him, taking glances at his hands which he constantly moved while he talked. You noticed he was shaking his leg the whole time. Stop staring, y/n.

Wow she’s so beautiful. And thoughtful. And funny and understanding. What am I doing? She’s my therapist….but…why couldn’t I have met her before? Why didn’t I meet her when I was normal? Would things have been different? But then again, I would have never met her if I was normal.

Things seemed to get better, as the weeks progressed, Harry was becoming more and more like his old self again. But there was a feeling of regret, he thought this was wrong as if he were forgetting her. But you were there to guide him, to tell him that this is what life is. It never stops. No matter what happens, you will heal. Someday, sometime. And each day we progress towards it.

And then it happened. The call came at 1 am in the morning. You were sleeping and you were tired, you had been working all day and just needed some rest. You wouldn't have picked the call up but something told you it was important. That you should pick it up.

“Hello?” you yawn.

You just hear muffled breathing for a few seconds.

“Hello? Who is it?”

“It…it’s me…Harry”

“Harry, what’s wrong?” you thought what could have happened at this time of the night.

“I just- can you-” he sounded like he was choking.

“Harry what’s wrong, you’re scaring me”

“I… can’t… breathe,” you hear him sobbing. ”I had… that… dream, I feel like I’m…going to…die”

“Harry, listen to me. You will be okay. Yeah? Just take deep breaths and sit tight. I’m coming to you”

You search through his file to look for his address. When you find it, you rush through the front door and drive to his house. You were on the phone with him the whole drive.

“Just keep breathing, Harry. Deep breaths, okay?”

To your surprise, the front door was unlocked. It looked like he had gone out into the street in the middle of the night. You search through rooms to find him, and you see him curled into a ball at the corner of a king size bed. You touch his shoulder and he flinches.

“Hey, hey it’s just me. It’s alright”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know who else to call,” he was crying, with the tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes looked small and they looked red from the lack of sleep and of tears.

“It’s alright, Harry. Just come here, it’ll be alright,” you pull him towards yourself him and he buries his face into your chest and you held him, stroking his hair and telling him it will be alright.

“That’s it. Let it out, Harry. It’s okay to cry”

You both stayed like that for another 15 minutes. He couldn’t stop crying and you knew he needed that. He had been holding everything in for so long and it just came out like an explosion tonight. You wiped his tears and made him meditate for a few minutes.

He fell asleep and you stayed up all night, looking at him. He looked so innocent while he slept, and cute too, you thought hiding a blush, even though nobody was there to look at you.

That night, Harry finally felt at peace. He was finally able to sleep. He had no nightmares, just a peaceful dream. He saw his girlfriend, running away from him in a white dress with her hair flowing in the wind.

Please don’t leave me, darling. I love you.

I know you do Harry, but you must let me go. I will always be with you. I will always love you. It is time you start caring about yourself, you must let me go. It is time.

No! don’t leave me!

And he woke up. Something about this dream told him that she was right. It was time. He was finally ready to let her go. For both of their sakes.

He went down to find you sleeping on the couch. He was hesitant at his thoughts but deep down he knew he was falling for you. Am I just using her to cope with my loss? Or do I really love her?

You opened your eyes, looking at Harry sitting on the ground, pushing a strand of hair away from your face.

“Good morning, how did you sleep?”

“Better. Really really better. I- I don’t know how to thank you, y/n and I’m so sorry”

“Hey it’s alright, and I’m glad I could help,” you smile. “I should go now, I have to get to work”

“Let me make breakfast and let me drive you to your house”

“Oh no it’s okay I can-”

“I owe this much to you, y/n. Let me”

“Okay”

                              -----------------

It wasn’t until another week when Harry had his next session. You had been thinking about him all the time, you were confused, it wasn’t supposed to go this way. But he….who am I kidding I’m in love with him.

When he walked through the door on a Thursday morning next week, he looked healthy and happier than ever. You felt a sense of happiness yourself, therapy is always beneficial to both the patient and the therapist. Every person is a deep universe, their thoughts, experiences, pain, joy, everything. Empathising with clients is a great learning experience, it becomes a part your personality. It becomes a part of you.

“Hey y/n”

“Hi Harry”

“So my week as been as it’s always and I’ve been feeling a lot better ever since that day…and that dream” he had told you about the dream he had the night you watched him sleep. He seemed to completely change after that, he let go of the intense emotions he had been carrying around.

“That’s very good and you’ve made a lot of progress since our first meeting”

“Yeah…I have”

The session went on as usual, he talked about everything that happened, he started fighting with his brothers again, which he hadn’t done in a long time and even though they were pissed off at him, they were happy to have him back.

“Um Harry,” you say at the end of the session. “I think-” you try to choose your words correctly. “I think it’s about time you start seeing another therapist, yeah?”

You see his face drop. “wh-why? I’m doing so much better, is..is it because of that night? I’m so sorry y/n”

“No it’s not that. You and I both know what’s happening between us, it’s wrong for a therapist to get emotionally attached with her patient. I’m sorry, Harry”

“So you’re saying that you’re becoming emotionally attached with me?”

“I..I’m-“

“It’s alright. I understand y/n”

“Yes, thank you. This has been great”

“So… now that you’re not my therapist, can I meet you for coffee this evening?”

“Harry-“

“Half an hour, Dr y/l/n. Just give me half an hour of your time, if you still feel the same way, I’ll never bother you again”

“Uh-" you hesitate. You knew you should have said no. You were going to say no. Yet the words which came out of your mouth were “Okay then, it’s a date”

--------------

Taglist:

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