#i'm sorry for the long post 😅

[lanistas]

Omg I love Babylon 5, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!!

Hiiiii! Thank you for asking, I can talk about Babylon 5 for days 😃 (This is probably going to be a very long and chaotic post, but please bear with me 😅)

My most vivid memory of Babylon 5 is me crying my eyes out in February 2017, when I watched the final episode of season 5. My mom walked in on me in the kitchen, ugly sobbing and struggling for breath, and, well, my mom was very concerned for my well-being, to put it mildly lol.  And I guess this perfectly illustrates my relationship with this show. The story, the characters, the themes and motifs that Babylon 5 dared to explore influenced my psyche and became an integral part of me, and I was super not ready to let go when it was time to watch “Sleeping in Light”.

Like with any other show that I adore, it’s very difficult for me to explain which aspects of said show I like in particular. As I am first and foremost a shipper when it comes to watching and analysing tv shows, John Sheridan and Delenn of Mir were the main reason why I decided to start Babylon 5, and John/Delenn remain one of my most beloved OTPs up until this day. However, once I started properly watching this show and understanding it better, I realised that Babylon 5 is not only a shipper’s paradise, but also an incredibly well crafted and coherent show, a true masterpiece when it comes to weaving a compelling and logically consistent story. To add to the gradually developing plot, every character has their role to play, and each character is well written, complex, and important to the narrative. John, Delenn, Susan, Michael, Londo, G’Kar, Lyta, Marcus, and so many others – all of them taught me important lessons and helped me overcome real life struggles. They taught me courage, compassion, honor, but also they taught me that nobody's perfect, that both human and non-human beings can make stupid decisions, can take a wrong turn, may be difficult and insufferable, but it doesn't mean that the world is beyond saving. In fact it means quite the opposite, and that's what the characters in this show prove to the audience time and time again.

One more thing that I love about Babylon 5 is the fact that it doesn’t shy away from discussing difficult topics, very often mixing sci-fi concepts with philosophy, psychology, cultural studies, and even religion. As someone who studied intercultural communication at university, I cannot help coming back to Babylon 5 and choosing scenes and moments from different episodes that I can analyse from that perspective. Moreover, Babylon 5 managed to masterfully comment on politics, political institutions, and various types of conflicts, which also impresses me and makes me adore Babylon 5 even more.

All in all, I want to say a huge ‘thank you’ to J. Michael Straczynski, to the cast and the crew of this show for bringing Babylon 5 to life. I will never shut up about it, and I will never stop recommending Babylon 5 to people 😄

[shikisei]

unrelenting truth-seeker

[beannoss]

So I've been thinking about them:

Specifically I was wondering what the moment was (if there even was a specific moment) that cinched it for Twilight developing feelings for Yor.

[Spoiler warning: this post references manga chapters not yet animated]

I think for Yor it's pretty quick. Like, this moment here:

Not that Yor fell in love with Twilight then (ymmv) or that she's fully aware of her feelings, but it's explicit that she felt connected to him here and attached in meaningful ways.

But for Twilight, it wasn't so clear. For a while I'd kind of decided that it just came over him slowly (and I think there is something to that) and that there wasn't any singular moment which stood out. But that didn't feel quite right. The more I thought about it, the more I thought there were two stand-out moments, only one of which Twilight actually (semi-)clocks.

The first, which I think passes him by entirely, is this:

In my view, this laugh is an entirely authentic response. I think he is, despite himself, delighted by this woman who 1. just unexpectedly saved him from being stabbed, and 2. did it by sending the guy flying across an entire alleyway.

This is accentuated in the anime, I think, by the jaunty, puckish music that makes up the first part of their marriage theme song. I am dying for the reappearance of this music in some fashion, btw, it's so fun and cheeky and I'm hoping foreshadows their vibe after various revelations and particularly when they start working together as Agent Twilight and Thorn Princess:

The second moment for Twilight, I think, is more subtle for all it's more impactful. Or at least, the degree of its importance passed me by on initial read/watch, and I think it's deliberately downplayed by Twilight himself. Because he does actually clock it but if he looks more closely at it, well... then he might have to do something about it. And maybe that something won't comport with what the mission needs, and then what?

It happens when Twilight first bugs Yor, and then poses with Franky as SSS agents to test whether she knows Yuri is with the SSS.

It's clear in the lead up that Twilight recognises he has some feelings about/for Yor, and he doesn't want to spy on her; he doesn't want to mistrust her at all. He has to convince himself to take seriously that she may be a potential threat.

And even then, the convincing only sort of mostly works, because he hesitates again:

Which is, by the way, bananas. At this point, they've been a fake family for maybe a handful of weeks? Twilight is an experienced, accomplished spy with a finely honed and necessary sense of paranoia. Of course he should be suspicious. Her brother is an SSS agent! Canonically, the SSS are both Twilight- and SSS self-described as Twilight's greatest existential threat. It shouldn't be a question whether or not to verify Yor's knowledge here. And yet.

We all know how the rest plays out. He decides that listening in isn't enough, he needs to confront her insofar as he's able. I wrote previously about Twilight's relationship with Anya and the pivotal moment for him in how his view of his relationship with Anya changes based on Anya's (and Endo's) choices. I think a similar thing happens in this scene with Yor.

See, it would have been enough for Yor to continue to deny, continue to not call on Yuri's help, to prove she didn't know, and to put Twilight's mind at ease.

Endo takes it further.

Y'all: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WILD. It borders on levels of impulsive foolhardiness that Twilight should actually take as a negative for the person playing his wife for Operation Strix. Yor even alludes later to the problems this could cause!

The SSS are indiscriminate; if Yor was facing down actual SSS agents, first assaulting and then threatening them would 100000% land her in custody. Were it not for Yuri, it may even get her disappeared, based on how casually and frequently Yuri references having people executed. It would absolutely put the Forgers at risk, in general and in the implicitly sexist Ostanian society, because if Mrs Forger behaves this way, how does Mr Forger behave? And why can't he control his wife? The Secret Police are not known for their leniency, their modesty, their discerning, their temperateness, their mercy. They are known for the exact opposite of those things. And due to being a spy, Twilight probably knows they're actually much worse than even their public reputation.

And here's Yor saying: you can question me but if you threaten my brother or my husband, I will fucking end you. Bodily.

Of course, it's entirely in keeping with her character, and it's an entirely revealing moment of who she is. And I think this is the moment for Twilight. He's already been trusting her bit by bit, as he says above, intuitively. I'd suggest that maybe even more than that though, Yor taps into something Twilight deeply wants: backup. Someone and somewhere safe. Maybe we could describe a person fulfilling that role in an adult relationship as a partner...?

It's because he doubts his intuition (his wants, his feelings, things he shouldn't be countenancing) that we get to this point where he (overzealously) tests her.

She blows his test right out of the water.

The SSS are basically the group he fears most; this is reiterated throughout the story. He doesn't trust them specifically because of who he is and also just generally. He doesn't trust their judgment. He doesn't share their values or their priorities. He doesn't like them around. He doesn't like them looking. He doesn't like being anywhere near them. (Also, he's right.)

And here's Yor. Not only standing up to them on his behalf but actually going on active defence on his behalf.

(I pause here to note 'on his behalf' is a bit, mm, tricky, since it's actually technically on Loid's behalf and I have Thoughts and Feelings about Twilight & Identity. But for the sake of the impact of this moment on Twilight, we'll take it as writ that in this moment there's no appreciable difference between Twilight and Loid.)

I think from here on out, it's incredibly difficult for Twilight to ever doubt or distrust Yor. He perceives her as firmly in his corner, that if the chips are down — if his worst enemy and his worst fear come knocking — she'll be on his team, unflinchingly. He may not think there will be much she can do (heh.) or much she can offer given the power of the SSS and her civilian status (I reiterate: heh.), but it matters that he believes that she'll be by his side.

And you know what? He's right. She will be.

That isn't something he's had since he was a little boy. Even WISE doesn't seem to offer that to its agents, given Nightfall's thought here:

Twilight's had to rely on himself for decades and now here's this astonishing woman who will threaten the Secret Police for his sake. Of course he trusts Yor. Of course this moment widens the cracks in his barriers. And further: of course those cracks start to reach into those walls deep, deep inside that protect his heart. This is all before getting to other moments, like when he reflects on how Yor is creating a better world in ways he (thinks he) can never aspire to do himself. That she loves Anya openly, freely, with such dedication, to the point of sacrificing her own needs. That she just never gives up, she persists and persists and persists, always doing her best. That she reminds him it's okay to accept peace and to rest. That she wants and tries to take care of him... On and on and on.

Of course we get to this point:

I'm particularly taken with his body language a little later in the scene. He manages to get himself to sitting but he's still sprawled, open, even as he can't wrap his mind around what exactly is happening or why, and he's feeling vulnerable for all that. But at the same time, this is Yor. And she's safe.

In my view, if the Mole Arc hadn't happened immediately between this moment and the earlier where Yor declares herself unhappy, it would have been clearer how much stress he felt specifically due to Yor's apparent sudden unhappiness with their arrangement. The stress got subsumed (conveniently, ahem, Endo) into the stress and violence of the Mole Arc, but I think it rattled him pretty profoundly. It's also additionally why her warm greeting hit him as hard as it did: relief across multiple lines, such that he had to remind himself not to relax, despite Yor's apparent return to normal.

And there may be added layers to Twilight's reactions to Yor's bad moods due to his familial history, as pointed out by @unhappy-sometimes in this post; the inverse, of course, is that Yor's general good-naturedness would add layers to Twilight's sense of security with her. And the apparent loss of that, all the more devastating.

Rounding out the original moment though, I think this in many ways demonstrates the point:

Twilight throws away the bug. That is also wild. It isn't like that bug could only be used on Yor; it wasn't somehow modified to only respond to her person. It was a device that could be used and reused on different targets, on people who actually are worthy of being bugged, etc. But instead of pocketing it for later use, Twilight throws it away.

Actually: he not only throws it away, he crushes it first. Perhaps because he couldn't stand to have that particular device around, the device he used when he doubted Yor?

Seems kind of irrational, Twilight.

Seems kind of telling.

I mentioned my last Twilight meta about his relationship with Anya: in that, I suggest Twilight recognised entering into a compact with Anya, which subtly modifies, for him, the motivations around Strix. I think something like that happens here, too. If Yor is willing to go to such apparent extremes to protect him, he'll do his utmost to protect her.

I've had this meta in my drafts for a while, but I'm chuffed by this panel from the most recent chapter, as it kind of underscores all this by Yor's positioning of herself:

(Of course the point is there isn't a dichotomy: they'll protect each other, as indicated by Yor's if I had to choose: she won't have to choose.)

Back to Twilight, at this point, he can still justify all this as being within mission parameters. Of course he should protect Yor: she is an innocent civilian and if anything happens to her it would threaten Strix. But if/when this line is tested, if/when there comes a point where protecting Yor is actually the option that may put Strix at risk or put him somehow in opposition to WISE, then we'll see.

And more importantly, Twilight will see, too.

[jakeyp]

IVES' 3K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION succession as a horror for @rebecca-weltons 💕

[joshdonnas]

In which Ainsley makes an innocent question and gets subjected to The Joshdonna Show ™️ (featuring Sam).

17 PEOPLE (2x18) | The West Wing (1999-2006)

[herefortheships]

What do you think of the Bj and Lydia controversy due to age?

You know, the short answer I have for this is that I do not think it should be an issue that's even brought up anymore. Lydia is now an adult woman in her 50s; plenty of people end up with a partner who is 10+ years older than them, meaning that they would have been a full adult if they would have come across their partner at sixteen. And that's just speaking about the real world; let's not forget Beetlejuice and the characters in that world are all a work of fiction. I don't think the fact that they met when she was a teenager all those years ago should even be an issue to ship it or not. As a matter of fact, people can ship whatever they want. They can even ship it in the first film and it's not an issue... Shipping in itself is inherently innocent. These characters and the situations around them don't even exist, and therefore, whatever you imagine with them, has no effect in the real world. Shipping is no different from a kid grabbing a couple of dolls and making them kiss. It's all in good fun.

Let me tell you, I had written a long freaking essay under this question 😅, but I decided to leave all of that for a separate post. But a few notable points from that essay which I think would be good to include here are the following.

Back in the 90s and early 2000s we had ships with pretty big age gaps on network TV and nobody batted an eye about the age gap (as far as I'm concerned). I'm talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer specifically in this post. This was before social media, but as far as magazines and fandom spaces go, I'm sure the discussions around Buffy's love interests in BTVS centered around which hot vampire was better for Buffy, Angel or Spike. (Even nowadays we see this kind of article, exhibit A). And you don't see these articles starting with disclaimers and trigger warnings, either.

For those who haven't watched BTVS, Angel was around 240-something when he slept with 17 year old Buffy. He slept with her the night she turned 17, by the way; they were already together while she was 16. At the time he was turned into a vampire, Angel was around 26 years old. Angel met Buffy when she was 16, but he was stalking watching Buffy since she was 15:

Now about Spike. Spike met Buffy when she was 16, but he didn't actually become obsessed with her until she was around 20. Still, they got together and it wasn't ever an issue that he met her when she was a teenager. In Spike's case, he did stick around and interacted with Buffy multiple times before they started dating. In Betelgeuse's case, we know that while he watched Lydia from afar, he never actually managed to interact or even be seen by her during the years they were apart.

A lot of antis throw around the word "grooming" around Beetlebabes; I don't think they understand the meaning of that word. To put it simple, to groom someone is to condition them and emotionally manipulate them for years into a certain behavior, in this context, into falling in love or becoming sexually involved with the groomer. This term, therefore, cannot and will not ever apply to Betelgeuse and Lydia's relationship (it also does not apply to Spuffy, while we're at it). How can it? When they only had a few interactions over 30+ years ago and only met now after all that time.

And about those interactions in the first movie, the fact that Betelgeuse attempted to marry Lydia is attached to an idea of sexual inappropriateness only when that particular idea is projected onto what actually happened in that scene. Objectively, for Betelgeuse, marrying Lydia was a means to an end; there was no sexual or romantic implications in their marriage in that movie.

I believe in the case of Betelgeuse x Lydia versus ships like Buffy x Angel or Buffy x Spike, people are quick to see an issue in one where they never notice an issue in the other for the following reason: While Angel and Spike are hot, young-looking vampires, Betelgeuse is gross and does look like a dead guy. That is literally the difference. Spike and Angel are good-looking hotties; Betelgeuse... I love him lots and he is hot for me, but he is not conventionally attractive. I bet you if Betelgeuse looked like Michael Keaton did playing Bruce Wayne... People wouldn't have an issue that he's lusting after 50-something year old Winona Ryder, (also a hottie herself btw).

Let's add here before I close off this post that both Angel and Spike did objectively horrible things to Buffy when they were soulless (Angel while Buffy was still a minor), and meanwhile Betelgeuse has never harmed Lydia (no, the insta-pregnancy didn't harm her; everything that happened in that scene was an illusion). He didn't even behave inappropriately toward her in the first film when he was wilder and hornier than he is now. And yet shipping Bangel or Spuffy (last I checked lol) isn't widely seen as problematic. I ship Spuffy to the moon and back, and used to ship Bangel as well at some point 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I haven't seen people attacking shippers nor have I seen discussions of these ships being inappropriate (though I'm sure there must be... it's 2024 and the purity culture fandom infection has spread widely), not in the way I see Beetlebabes fans being harassed.

Anyway, I wrote a separate post about this and will post it eventually. This wasn't meant to be this long, but here we are 😅.

[kaye-go-moo]

Shapes and Strange Ciphers AU: From States Away

SaSC by me

Shapes and Pines by @/void-dude

Next Part

Tad and Bill

Two exhausting days of what Bill could only describe as hell had left him on the brink of collapse. He had made little progress in dismantling the portal, a bottomless pit of hopelessness dragged him into back to the idea of blowing up everything. He had all the materials—just a bit of assembling followed by a quick and painless—

Knock knock

Bill froze, his thoughts spiraled. Ford! Is he back in another corpse? Did he make a new deal? Bills mind raised with panic before he was hit with a confused realization. Why is he knocking?

Cautiously, Bill approached the door, busted torch in one hand, metal pipe in the other. He strained to peered through the frosted glass, nearly dropping the pipe when he saw who it was—Tad.

Bill wanted to throw open the door and hug him, but fear held him back. What if Ford had possessed him? He couldn't risk it. Gingerly, he cracked open the door and tossed out the torch before slamming it shut. “Stand close to the glass,” he shouted, and “and shine the light in your eye!”

-

Tad stared at the door, then down at the torch in confusion. Slowly, he picked it up and did as told, leaning close to the glass. Through the frosted pane, he could see Bill’s blurry figure, shifting slowly as he inspected Tad. After muffled sound of approval, Bill fully opened the door.

Tad’s excitement shifted into horror as he registered Bill’s state. His face was gaunt, his eyes sunken, and his hair a long, tangled mess. He wore a black hoodie that did little to hide his frail body. Tad hesitated before walking in, eyeing the metal pipe Bill had clutched in his shaking hands.

“Bill? What happened?” Tad stammered out, rattled by Bills appearance, “Bill—” Tad was cut off, startled by Bill launching into a frantic summary of the past decade. His words tumbled out disjointedly, shifting from one thought to another. It was an unsorted mess of word vomit that left Tad reeling and his head spinning. But what had left Tad truely unnerved were Bill’s fearful glances to an empty space—glaring at some invisible monster.

Tad tried interjecting, attempting to get Bill to calm down, but Bill kept talking over him. When Bill mentioned how things were for the past week, being locked in a closet, barely eating or sleeping, Tad spoke over him.

"Woah, Bill—slow down. What do you mean you were locked in a closet?"

Bill opened his mouth to speak but faltered. Tad stepped closer, extending a gentle hand, “Bill?”

Bill ignored the outstretched hand, taking the torch from Tad and handing him the pipe, before turning to walk away. “It’ll be better if I show you.”

Tad wavered by the open door, staring down at the pipe in his hand, his thoughts a mix of worry and confusion. He took a breath, shrugging off his growing anxiety, before shutting the door, setting down the pipe, and following Bill.

Leading the way with the busted torch, Bill led Tad through the broken wall, past the busted closet door, and into the portal room. He showed Tad the portal, recounting his actions from the past three days with a nervous urgency. “This is why I wrote to you. Tad, I need you’re help to dismantle it.” 

Tad stood in stunned silence, glancing between Bill and the portal before letting out a shaky breath “I—” his voice caught in his throat, his mouth felt dry. He coughed, then continued , “I think we should go upstairs and sleep. Just for now. I mean, if were gonna take this thing apart, we should be well-rested, right?”

Bill was taken aback, “What? No. Tad, This can’t wait. It needs to be dismantled now. Don’t you understand that?” He continued, trying to explain everything again but slowly trailed off, "Tad… you believe me. Right?“

Tad quickly nodded, “Yes. Yes, of course I believe you, Bill. I’m just—” He hesitated, “I’m worried. Bill, you… you look awful, it—its all just… alot.” He heaved a sigh and and placed his hand on Bill's shoulder, “Bill, please, lets go upstairs. God knows the both of us could use the sleep.” He let out rueful laugh.

Bill stared back blankly, briefly looking behind Tad before his expression twisted in frustration. He shrugged off Tad's hand and backed away. "I thought you’d understand. I thought I could trust you."

“I do understand, Bill. Honestly, I do.” Tad reached out again, “And you can trust me. I promise, you can—” Bill jerked away, a look of betrayal plastered on his face, his eyes darting between Tad and the empty space. 

“Bill. Come on, I—”

"You think I'm crazy, don't you!" Bills barked, causing Tad to flinch back before he tried speaking again, “What, no! I don’t think that, Bill. I would never—”

“Go!” Bill barked, turning away, ”Just leave.” He whispering angrily through gritted teeth, trying to control himself.

“No, Bill I—I didn’t mean to—I don’t want to—” Tad reached out to grab Bill’s shoulder, gently pulling him back before—

Tad cried out in pain as he fell into a tangle of loose wires. He pressed his hand against his stinging face. A thick liquid trickling down his cheek and the smell of copper filled his nose. He pulled back his hand, reeling away at the sight of blood.

Tad jerked his head towards Bill who stared back in horror. He… he hit me. Tad looked to Bills hands, the busted torch held tightly in his grip. Bill hit me.

Bill approached, saying something Tad was too stunned to make out. He tried backing away but the wire kept him trapped. Bill stepped closer, reaching to grab Tad. Tad reared his legs back and kicked Bill away.

Bill stumbled back and fell onto the portal switch, crumpling to the ground. He looked up in a daze and was horrified to see the portal roaring to life. He scrambled to his feet but his legs gave out and he fell back to his knees. He tried standing again, but his body was caught and pulled by a new gravity.

Tad fought to free himself from the wire but his attention was pulled away by the sound of Bills screams. He looked up and saw Bill’s floating, his silhouette illuminated by the blue light of the portal.

"Help me! Tad! Please!" Bill kicked at the air, clawing desperatly towards Tad.

Tads movements became more frantic as he ripped away the wires, "Bill! I'm trying! Bill! I—"

Bill's body disappeared, engulfed by the spinning light. With a blast and flash of light, Tad was knocked back into the wire. He scrambled to free himself, “Bill! Oh god, Bill!” he raced towards the portal, searching for Bill. But he was gone.

-----

Lore Comments

[doubleedgemode]

that post u made about A.B.A regarding her classic GG quotes is so interesting I had no idea she said that! I haven’t played the earlier games, would u happen to have screenshots of where she says that or where I might be able to see some of her classic/unused quotes ? I just like having that stuff on hand lol. Thank you!

Thanks to you, anon, for making me revisit the screenshots, and sure thing! I'm gonna link the page, keep in mind it's super meaty and covers a lot of characters so ctrl F search will be your best friend to find specific character/quotes :)

I found them in this big quote compilation in guiltygear.ru, click the sentence to go there. (Kudos to @/solradguy's big gg neo.cities archival efforts making me find the page)... BUT before anything, important DISCLAIMERS❗:

1. Some of the quotes in general can get kind of explicit or with double entendres so uh keep that in mind.

2. Something I just learnt after going to find you the translations, it's to keep in mind their author: See, this is better explained in the aforementioned ne.ocities archival, but a lot of the site's translations were made by someone who, without going too much into detail, is... a controversial member of the community, who is known for putting a good bunch of misconceptions and mistakes into their translations. (Also they have, in my opinion, unsavory and even problematic takes about the franchise. Don't try to argue with them, just block, per proper net etiquette) I don't know japanese so I don't know if this quote index suffers from that so in the end, we'll have to take all this quote info with a huge grain of salt.

Keeping all this in mind, this is already probably a wordier answer than you expected BUT since we are at it, I'll ramble about some A.B.A quotes (in no order) that I found interesting about the topic under the cut, if you want to read that.

First and third quotes in this picture are pretty self explanatory about this part of her character. The vs Faust intro... Man, that looks straight out of her strive song. Dunno if they pulled inspiration from that, but it seems even in the classic days they had a pretty clear idea of part of A.B.A's story being existing and thriving in her own unique way.. Which makes me kind of emotional for some reason ;_;

These were NOT unused as far as I can tell, but obviously do correct me if wrong!

I find it fascinating how much of clear glimpses these are are into her law obsession (more on that specific one later) and believing herself to be a high class person and looking above "lower classes" shoulders.

Some of these aren't exclusively about the aforementioned topics but they mention her cooking god knows what creatures (like in that one infamous xxac ending) and just.. being a scared, pathetic individual at heart. Sigh.

There are probably more examples of all this but this post needs to end sometime today.😭 So, returning to her law thing being an obsession in capital letters, look at her ingame overdrives:

But before that, the elephant in the room: People's observations of her instakill looking pretty taxing to her to perform and even making a berserk Paracelsus look like even he thinks this goes too far are not far from the truth. "I might not recover this time... Dying!!!" What else can I say, that's just sad.. and very interesting lorewise about the toll of this kind of summonings. Yeah, people noticed that in strive, she can summon the same exact door as in her insta with no struggle (or at least not the same level for sure) indicates her power or skill have improved which is so so fascinating.. Anyways. Back to the law thing. We've always had a huge sign under our noses: Her saying Evidence in her overdrives. While sure it can be evidence in a more general meaning, like proving facts or something, it does call to LEGAL evidence, too

...Maybe that was super obvious for everybodh but I'm afraid to admit I didn't connect the dots til now haha 😅

I cannot access my xxacp copy right now to see if her saying shouko during her overdrives is correct, but were we to take this as truth and also trust a japanese language study site as solid because. Again I have zero knowledge of japanese... According to Nihongoclassroom..

It can be used in a legal setting.

And with this we can neatly wrap this up... Tdlr I guess she's living up to her creator being a mansion owner (which isn't precisely cheap) and it gets so interesting and double edged (HAH) if you believe her classic games was as self aware while doing this and fooling herself as strive A.B.A is.

AND she has or had a HUGE interest in law (and if u allow me to reach mayyybe morality too?). While probably not as core to her as her key thing, she sure has told the audience almost as much as it.

[help-me-find-a-name-please-lol]

CM HOTCH/REID HEADCANONS

My headcanon about Hotch leaving in Season 12, Reid's reaction, and trying to have it make some kind of sense.

Disclaimers:

This is the first rewatch of the later seasons I've done since it aired on TV, and I've only just finished Season 12 episode 4 (I do, however, know the early seasons ridiculously well).

From LDSK onwards, I only ever really watched it for Hotch, Reid, and the Hotch/Reid dynamic. I didn't really watch it after Hotch left, but caught bits and pieces because my roomates did.

Yes I know why Thomas Gibson left the show and why they had to suddenly wrap up his character. No, I don't condone violence in the workplace. I also never dove deeply into the behind-the-scenes lore of this show, cast and crew interviews, etc etc. This will purely be relating to the show as it was depicted on screen, and my love for the characters as their own entities.

I am not going back to fully source which eps all my observations come from, cos I'm supposed to be working on an assignment rn and CM transcripts are a ducking nightmare. I just wanted to put this idea out there cos I think we all need a bit of self-soothing after the crap they fed us to write Hotch out of the show.

Also fun story I just came back to finish writing this after being interrupted by what I though was someone trying to break into my house at 4am (heard a noise, gate wide open, can't see anyone but damn, scary. My town's big on crime, too). SO my thoughts may now be even more disorganised thanks to the adrenaline crash headache I'm currently experiencing.

So anyway like I said, just finished watching S12E04 Keeper, during which Reid gets a call we don't hear, is visibly upset by it, and takes a bit of prodding to discuss it with JJ and Rossi. He then reveals that he was just told his mother left her care facility on her own and was found wandering confused around a casino. He takes minimal convincing to head back to Quantico and lines himself up another couple of days off to visit his mum (yes I'm Australian, this is how we spell it lol).

MY HEADCANON: This is when Hotch called Reid to tell him that he was going into witness protection and wouldn't be coming back. (Exactly how much was discussed on the phone vs possibly being discussed/explained later in person is of course open to interpretation, but enough for Reid to know Hotch wanted to say goodbye and to not tell the rest of the team).

I know that his mum's issues are an ongoing valid storyline. But this is why it was also a plausible excuse for Reid to come up with on the spot as to why he was upset.

Another thing that makes it entirely plausible that the phone call was about Hotch is the long, significant staring Reid did at Prentiss as she walked away after they discuss what supposedly happened with his mum. To me that could scream that Reid was actually dealing with something team-related, and was already grieving how it would affect the other members of his team that he's keeping it from. He could have gazed down or elsewhere to communicate his worry for his mum to the audience, but he specifically turned and watched Prentiss leave, looking all angsty.

What's a heck of a lot less plausible:

His mum, who has been in care since Reid became a legal adult, suddenly escaping her care facility, despite having been in care for well over a decade and who now needs even more supervision due to Alzheimer's on top of her Schizophrenia. Yeah, escapes happen, but to make it all the way into a casino and being found in a confused state? When this didn't happen before Reid flew up and got her diagnosed her with Alzheimers? Even though she'd been getting some increased freedoms for doing well on her new meds prior to her sudden worsening with the Alzheimer's onset?

Hotch leaving without saying something directly to Reid first. Yeah, I'm a shipper, and I know Hotch has his son to think about, but I call BULLSHIT. Hotch knows all about Reid's abandonment issues and there is no way he'd want to end up on the same mental list Reid keeps alongside Reid's father and Gideon. When Gideon went AWOL, Hotch returned from suspension, despite the fight he knew it would cause with his wife, because "the team" needed him. Then Haley stressed "no, they need Gideon". Fully believe this was all just about Reid (I also kinda low-key believe Haley had an inkling about Hotch's thing for Reid but anyway). Hotch, Reid and Morgan functioned as a team while Gideon was on leave after the bomber case, Morgan didn't even really want Gideon to come back and would not have been that thrown by his absence. Reid however we all know was very emotionally-involved. And it's Reid that Hotch pulls aside to get his head back in the game (and who then gives them a breakthrough in the case shortly after, at Hotch's encouragement). When Gideon had officially left and Hotch addressed the team about it, he mostly directed what he was saying towards Reid, when he said that he couldn't explain why he'd left the way he did, etc. And when Hotch was trying to decide whether he'd take over as section chief after Strauss left, again he was addressing the team but pretty much turned and spoke directly to Reid when he said something along the lines of "if I decide to leave the BAU, you'll be the first to know". He also saw how much it killed Reid to be lied to about Prentiss (and you can see he felt like shit about it during Reid's assessment). This man. Would NOT. Have left Reid without saying goodbye. That's the hill I'm dying on. On top of that, Hotch is always the most emotionally-compromised whenever Reid is in danger, and he knows it (he let Gideon know he was currently a terrible example of "handling things emotionally" while Reid was being held by Hankel, resulting in Gideon's weak reassurance of "We'll get him"; when Reid got on that train with Elle he tried to stop it then immediately went to chat with the sniper; when Reid was in the cult compound he had to hand off negotiations to Rossi; when Reid was protecting Owen Savage; heck he practically yeeted Morgan out of the way when Reid was trying to talk down Maeve's stalker and they heard a gunshot. Etc etc.). And whenever Hotch gets emotionally affected by other things (eg that defence attorney for amnesia/coma guy, or regarding his brother), Reid is the one who can break through that and keep him steady. Reid is VERY IMPORTANT to Hotch and I don't see him hurting Reid in what to him is the worst way someone could do it.

Reid being so chill about Hotch suddenly leaving without saying goodbye. Goes without saying, yeah? But I'll say it. I get that they've been trying to paint him as more emotionally-mature and that he was able to handle Morgan leaving, but it is SO not the same relationship or circumstance and Reid would not have taken Hotch's departure in stride like that. I get that they also wanted the show and its characters to move on as quickly and as apparently unaffected as possible, but it still clearly flies in the face of proper characterisation. Reid is brilliant and back when he was being held by Hankel, I'm sure he could have found any number of ways to communicate with a specific team member at that moment, but he chose Hotch. He knew Hotch would be the only one capable of putting his ego aside at being "picked to die" and to listen properly to the rest of Reid's message. Once he confirmed that his message was correct and that he was in a cemetery, Reid was so sure that Hotch understood his message and would be coming to save him that he let his guard down for the first time. I think he only picked up that gun and shot Hankel with it in the end to just superstitiously make sure that the bullet never did reach Hotch (and to "free" Tobias, or whatever. Either way Hankel wasn't going for the gun or to use Reid as a shield when he turned to face off with the FBI and any of them could have taken him down easily). They've only been getting closer and closer over the years, on-screen and off (Fist-bump anyone? Always standing close together? Plus Reid's been teaching Jack magic tricks and was the one to get him smiling and laughing after Hotch got arrested by SWAT, which you know would make Hotch even more gooey for him). They're 100% an army of 2/hyper-competent power couple (take for instance the way Hotch and Reid were mirrored against Garcia and Kevin when she referred to her own pairing as the President and Vice-President after the bank blew up?) who can probably achieve 90% of the team's success level on their own. That super-serial-killer chick may have talked about Reid losing a "protector" in Morgan, but Hotch has always been the one Reid has come to or looked to. He was pretty distraught about the idea of Hotch leaving to be Section Chief, not that long ago, too. Also, constant super-crush behaviour which I could list but this post is already very long. Reid would not just immediately go "Prentiss is our leader now, this'll be great!". FFS.

Anyway we all know the way they wrote Hotch off was bullshit, hence the suuuper-long monologue to explain everything that's apparently happened off-screen, and yeah he'd totally enter WITSEC without even telling the team (until he decided to resign) when Peter Lewis had already hacked it once and killed the person on it before the team figured out who he was after and got there 🙄. All of it is super implausible. But to me, nothing more so than Reid's poor imitation of shock/surprise and almost total lack of emotional reaction. Him knowing beforehand, because Hotch already said goodbye to him, is the only thing that will ever make me be at peace with this crap from an in-universe POV.

This could all be shot to pieces in the next ep lol, but for now I'm just glad my brain has a way to make sense of it.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop

[trashyandtiredsol]

sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol.

SOL.

ilysm.

you are so friggin extraordinary.

never change.

you're amazing.

Kept trying to think of some paragraph long response to this but I'm absolutely shitty with words-

SO

Tam. The feeling is very mutual- for you and everyone I've talked to at some point since I've been on this hellsite we call Tumblr /affectionate

Talking with everyone on here, sharing my art with everyone- just existing with everyone on here and seeing what y'all create has turned into such a huge aspect of my life (especially my social life like- y'all ARE my social life at this point 😅)

Plus I'm fuckin so glad I decided to try out Tumblr when I did cuz it was around a sorta traditional point in my life (moving outta a toxic ass house and away from a toxic, isolated life and my ex supposed father figure). Coming on here and talking with you and everyone else brightens my day and I'm glad to be a part of everything :3

[multicolour-ink]

In honor of Mario Day (and the movie 2 hype 🤭) here's a throwback to the first Mario fic I wrote after a long time, just after the movie's release.

[moonfromearth]

Clyde S. Dale

for @loveryss Embracing Erin Unofficial Bachelorette Challenge~!

About Clyde...

Age: Young Adult Aspiration: Championship Rider Traits: Snob, Outgoing, Music Lover Backstory: Clyde left his small town in Chestnut Ridge behind the moment he aged up, heading to San Myshuno to find fame and fortune in the music industry. However, after his debut album flopped hard, his manager suggested he "return to his roots." Begrudgingly, the Clyde S. Dale brand was born, and everything in Clyde's life became about keeping up the cowboy image. Now, Clyde has returned to his hometown, determined to reconnect with his cowboy image for real and not just as a marketing tool (though this has proven quite a challenge after so many years spent in the city softening him to the realities of ranch life). Always one to put himself out there, despite his adjustment struggles, he's signed up to be a part of Erin's bachelorette challenge in hopes of finding someone to learn and grow alongside him. Bonus Facts that didn't fit in the backstory section: - His real name is William Taylor. Clyde S. Dale was his manager's idea. - His first album had a very electronic pop sound, much different from his current music. - Super outgoing and always the one to carry a conversation. No need to worry about awkward silence when he won't stop talking. - Hasn't given much thought to family life. Has always been more focused on his career. He has more of an, "If it happens, it happens," mindset on the whole raising kids thing.

Download Here (Google Drive, CC Free!)

[it says cc in the gallery an I don't know why I swear he's cc free]

[pttucker]

"Thank you." The words spilled out and Yoo Joonghyuk replied indifferently. "Don't say anything that isn't in your heart. I know you dislike me." "Of course, I dislike you. I hate you. You are the person who took my role." "I don't know what that means." In Lee Sookyung's head, time flowed slowly. She heard that it should move quickly… then why? Was it because it was hard and difficult? "…I've known you from a long time ago. That kid often talked about you. He came to visit his mother in prison and only talked about this." –This time, he challenged the 12 gods of Olympus. The young face of Kim Dokja as he talked happily. Many thoughts had floated on this child's face. Yoo Joonghyuk spoke like he felt Lee Sookyung's heart rate slowing down. "Lee Sookyung. Don't let go of your mind." Lee Sookyung barely maintained her blurring consciousness. She continued to be drowsy on Yoo Joonghyuk's back. "In any case, at least once… I wanted to thank you." "You are saying things that I can't understand."

Okay, so I've been thinking this for a while now but is Joonghyuk perhaps literally unable to comprehend that he's a character in a novel?

Like, at first I just thought it was a secret (obviously it was) and he didn't know and then I thought that maybe, for some reason, he just didn't care because he's so goal-motivated and has crushed down all his own emotions beyond what's needed to save the world, but now I'm really starting to wonder if he literally cannot process it. Like maybe he has his own version of Fourth Wall but it stops him from realizing that he's a character in a novel no matter what people say.

Like, Han Sooyoung literally calls him "protagonist" to his face but it's Han Sooyoung so it's quite possible he brushed it off as that's just how she sees the world as a writer.

But we also have the fact that people were starting to recognize that the world was following TWSA way back before Dokja got lost for three years, heck people were recognizing it both inside and outside the Seoul dome way back when he pretended to be Joonghyuk for the first time. Since then, rumors have been spread all across the internet and there's apparently still functioning news agencies because Dokja's party members are treated like celebrities.

So you'd think by now that it has to be common knowledge right? If nothing else, Sooyoung can't have been the only person to ever say something weird or act weird around the Yoo Joonghyuk. It wouldn't shock me at all if people haven't tried to interview him like they did with Heewon and Jihye.

So does he genuinely have no feelings in regards to finding out he's a fake person? Do none of the other characters not care either? We've had plenty of POV scenes from other characters but thinking about it, the one time that we see the novel openly discussed is between Dokja and his mom, Dokja and Sooyoung, Sooyoung and Sangah...all non-characters...

And now we have Dokja's mom trying to have this serious conversation with Joonghyuk and he's saying he doesn't understand and while you can take that to mean that he doesn't understand how he helped Dokja since he's only recently met him, I'm starting to wonder if it's not more literal - that he literally can't process what she's talking about.

Like, Dokja literally just got done showing the giants the literal scenes of TWSA and Joonghyuk had no reaction whatsoever. Like, maybe in that particular instance he wasn't able to see those scenes, only Dokja and the giants could, but still...

"Where are your parents?" "I was told they died in an accident." "You don't sound sad." "I can't grieve what I can't remember." Lee Sookyung knew. He didn't remember because it wasn't in the original novel. Everything about Yoo Joonghyuk was just a character setting. From the beginning, Yoo Joonghyuk's parents didn't exist. Lee Sookyung hesitated for a moment. "Yes, humans are like this. Do you think I remember all my childhood?" "…Is it memory loss?" "Everyone gets memory loss. Little by little, we will forget our memories and one day, we will forget everything."

And then on the other side we have this. It almost feels like Sookyung is trying to reassure him that it's normal not to remember things that happened when they were children and she specifically goes out of her way to say humans are like this. Like she's trying to tell him that he's still a human and reassure him that this is normal and not from him literally being a made up person.

So maybe he does know and has just been quietly processing it? Or maybe he does have a Fourth Wall, maybe all the characters do, but instead of blocking them from understanding, their versions keep their reactions to the real world muted whereas Dokja's keeps his reactions to TWSA muted? So they're aware but just can't bring themselves to care???

Like, I could see maybe one or two people just genuinely not caring, and maybe one of those people is Joonghyuk just because of how emotionally exhausted he has to be by now (both him AND 1863rd) but you're telling me that Lee Jihye doesn't have some opinions on all of that? Lee Hyunsung hasn't at least asked Dokja what he was like in the novel? Shin Yoosung hasn't asked about what she did in a future without Dokja taking her under his wing?

And then finally we have this:

Yoo Joonghyuk spoke, "Sometimes I remember things. I remember someone watching me." It was the first time Lee Sookyung heard this story and she wondered, "…Who was watching you?" "I don't know either. There was a gaze watching me for a long time. There were times when I often felt the gaze." After Yoo Joonghyuk's words were over, Lee Sookyung didn't talk for a long time. There was a long silence before Lee Sookyung laid her hands on Yoo Joonghyuk's head and spoke in a gentle voice. "Maybe it was your parents." Lee Sookyung stared up at the sky. Numerous constellations were watching them.

I feel like Sookyung is once again trying to make him feel better by saying it was his parents but at the same time Joonghyuk isn't really connecting the whole "Dokja came to talk to me about you every day when he was younger" to "Dokja knows my entire life story including my future" to "someone has been watching me for years." Or, if he is connecting the two, he's unwilling to verbalize it and just seems like he's side-stepping the whole issue?? So either he can't process that he's a character or can but can't really feel it?

Well, if nothing else, I do love it when we get mentions of Joonghyuk feeling like someone was with him during his hardships just the same as Dokja felt that Joonghyuk was there with him during his.

[tekutiger]

Chai Espresso [1.5 Liter] - Teku's Style

I've been working on this recipe for a couple of months, trying to perfect it to my personal preference and thought I'd share it. I know it wont be everyone's cup of tea (hehe get it?), but perhaps someone else out there will like it. This is a strong Chai Espresso. No light flavors here.

It started when I bought this Pumpkin Spice Latte drink from Starbucks and I got my first introduction to Espresso. I was like wait- this tastes like coffee, but stronger and has more depth. I'm actually not a coffee person, but I realized then that I was an espresso person. I'm also very much a cinnamon person and that carries over to all things Chai and Pumpkin Spice. So here I am combining Chai and Espresso.

We aren't going to do this the lazy or easy route however, we're going to do this the legit route. You can find some shortcuts doing this yourself and I'll offer examples of things you can substitute in and out, but I'll be showing you how I do it and the things I use.

This recipe is also going based off the fact that you have an Espresso Machine that can make 2-4 shots of espresso at a time. You can also make the chai and drink it by itself, just do not add the espresso!

That being said, here's some items you'll see me use, and potentially items you may need. Keep in mind you do not need the exact same brands. Just because I have McCormick cinnamon sticks, doesn't mean you need to have McCormick cinnamon sticks. Infact I just ordered more cinnamon sticks from Spicy World (they appear to be a different type of Cinnamon - Saigon, where McCormick is Cassia). Buy and use what you prefer to use.

Three of the things not shown here that will also be used, is ginger, milk and a pitcher that can hold 1.5 liters. If you're looking for a recipe list:

7 Cups Water (goes into the pot)

16 Cardamom Pods

12 Black Peppercorns

9 Cloves

8 Slices/Coins of Ginger

5 Sticks of Cassia Cinnamon (McCormick for example), 4 Stick of Saigon Cinnamon (Spicy World for example)

1 1/2 tbsp Assam Tea (can substitute out for packets of tea or other favorite loose tea)

2 to 2 1/2 tbsp Milk (adjust to personal preference)

5 tsp Stevia (or substitute out for sweetener of choice, may need to adjust measurement)

3 1/2 to 4 shots Espresso (made via machine and add by preference)

4 Star Anise (optional, I don't add this)

Everything in this recipe is adjustable to personal taste. I put some explanations in parenthesis already but I'll add more in-depth explanations as I go further down the post. I just know people (myself included) like short and simple recipe lists.

If you want to add star anise, I'd say probably add 4 for this recipe and work your way up or down on preference. I personally do not like it so I didn't bother with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Step 1. Throwing everything into your pot and putting it onto the stove to boil.

This is rather simple actually. To start, add 7 cups of water to a medium sized pot.

We're just going to grab our handy pestle and mortar with our 16 Cardamom pods and give them a gentle pound to open them up.

We're also going to slice up our fresh ginger until we have 8 coins/slices. I find this to be the easiest and quickest way to use ginger. I mean, yeah we can dice it up, or we can cut a piece off and crush it, but it takes so much more time and then we have more things to clean. Trust me, this is easier and we still get all the flavors.

Next we're going to simply grab 12 peppercorns and 9 cloves and plop them into the pot, along with 4 or 5 cinnamon sticks- depending on if they are Cassia or Saigon (and optional star anise). Cassia and Saigon have different flavor profiles and strengths, so there is a reason why we are adding more or less of these.

I set this to my next to highest heat, which is 8 or 9, until it comes to a rolling boil. When it reaches that point, I set it to a medium point, around a 4-5 for about 20 minutes or so.

This does actually take a bit, but you want the spices to release and infuse the water, and for the water to get a nice rich brown color. You'll notice the cinnamon sticks open up, the cardamom pods get poofy, and it'll very much already smell like chai.

2. In the meantime, get your Espresso going. It's as simple as that. My machine will vary from yours so I cannot instruct you here. But prepare 3 1/2 to 4 shots of Espresso of your favorite blend to pair with this chai. When it's finished, set it aside. You can potentially get this done in the time your chai is doing its thing in the background.

3. Back to the Chai

So your cinnamon sticks are opened up, cardamom pods are poofy, your pot of chai actually smells like chai.

It's at this point that I turn down my stovetop even further to around 3, and I add my 1 1/2 tbsp of Assam tea (or other favorite loose tea, or 3 packets of tea).

It only takes about a minute (or two) of letting the tea sit in the pot when I take it off the heat. Letting tea seep too long can make it bitter, so I try not to leave it too long. I know there are some debates that this isn't the case with herbal tea and black tea but I beg to differ with black tea 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Basically when the leaves "open up" or no longer look shriveled as they do in the bag, that's when I take it off the heat. It'll continue to 'cook' in its residual heat even after I remove it off the burner anyways.

This is where we add about 2 to 2 1/2 tbsp of milk. I usually eyeball this but I measured it out for this recipe. You can add more or less depending on your preference, but you're aiming for a caramel color with your chai. As for your milk, I personally use 2% lactose-free milk because its what I was raised on and what I'm used to, but traditionally for chai, whole milk is best. Choose what you prefer.

Remember that small strainer tool from the first picture? We get to fetch that for this next part. We also get to fetch our Espresso from Step 2 and our 1.5 Liter Pitcher.

My pitcher is a little extra, in that it is dishwasher safe and can withstand hot fluids. I don't have to wait for my Espresso or Chai to cool down before pouring them into the container. If yours is not capable of this, you may have to wait until your fluids cool down, which could take a while. Please be cautious and double check any container you intend to use for this before hand, as it may warp or melt.

I always first pour in my Espresso into the pitcher, followed by adding in the 5 tsp of Stevia and mixing well. If you're using a different sweetener, or pure sugar, you may have to adjust the amount of sweetener used as I've never used another type of sweetener.

Next is something you can opt to do or not, it's just a convenience thing. I take a pair of metal tongs and fish out the cinnamon sticks before straining (toss them away in a compost bin or however you choose to dispose of them). I find they like to jump forward at you during the straining process and this makes it a little less messy in the long run.

Take your strainer and strain the pot of chai into your Pitcher. Give it a stir with a paddle or spoon durable of the heat, and you're finished! Viola, Pitcher of Espresso Chai!

Exactly 1.5 liters.

Step 4. All that's left is to drink some in your favorite mug.

(mug is from OctoNation 🐙💓) And no, nothing in this post is an Ad. Everything is just stuff I love a lot.

If you have comments or tips to share, feel free to drop them!

❘✧༻༺༻༺‿︵‿༻༺✧*̥˚‿︵‿ °∘❉∘°‿︵‿*̥˚✧༻༺‿︵‿༻༺༻༺✧❘

[ambivartence]

I've seen you post quite a lot of concerts this year so I wanted to know all the concerts you've been to in 2022 :)

omg i- yeah i've been to a lot this year...... 😂💸💀 it's the first year i've ever been to a kpop concert ever!! it started by taking my friend to a twice concert in february, then literally on the way home on the train we booked more concert tickets and it's honestly spiraled uncontrollably from there. in total i've been to 11 concerts and 3 music-festival/convention format events and saw a total of 30 unique soloists/groups perform live (31 if u include the kq trainees that opened for ateez <3). i even have a running tag #📷 for any content i post using my own fancams 😎

my year was something like: february twice, april bts, may kpop.flex in germany (these were the tickets we bought on the way home from the twice concert bc my friend is a huge moomoo and i'm a huge multi so i was easily convinced LOL we managed to get barrier spots the second day which sadly nct dream was day 1... and oneus also got covid 💔 the final lineup was mamamoo, kai, nct dream, monsta x, enhypen, dreamcatcher, ab6ix, (g)i-dle, and ive), july ab6ix (bought these the night after seeing them in germany haha they included soundcheck + hi-touch which were fun^^) & stray kids & dreamcatcher (which i wasn't planning on going but bought tickets the day-of haha), august seventeen and kcon LA (finally saw tbz after my june concert was canceled 😥 lineup: stray kids, nct dream, ateez, the boyz, itzy, wjsn, cravity, enhypen, kep1er, lightsum, loona, ini, to1, p1harmony, nmixx, stayc), september sunmi, october blackpink, november ateez & the rose, december yerin baek and LA3C which we went for seventeen's ~50 min set LOL

yeah so i've essentially gone to a kpop concert every month this year which is def one of my fave parts of being a multistan hehe 🥰 i already have tickets for p1harmony's tour next january as well as oneus in february and have been keeping an eye on any announcements about new stops for mamamoo's world tour! we'll see how many more memories i can make in 2023 :)

anyways here's some of my fave pics i took from the year below the cut, mostly from kpop flex haha (warning very long sry):

extra bonus: jeon woong levitating right side up and then upside down (aka mid backflip haha) in the back of the 2nd pic lol