#i'm sorry for anything obvious I didn't account for - i tried to keep in mind some people only gif 4k 60fps etc etc but i'm at work atm

[silverduckie]

So I'm working on giffing something that's 4k and 60fps in my downtime at work right now, and I was curious what other gif makers like to do when it comes to this because I know we all have our own things so:

Just in case this is confusing - by frame rate I mean the frames per second of the footage itself (like a majority of footage / youtube videos these days tend to be 23.9 fps), and by frame delay I mean the delay between frames that you set for your gif program (like setting your gif speed to .05, .06, .07 etc etc). I can clarify in the replies if anyone has any questions, though

[redroomreflections]

How Not To Become A Tiktok Star

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Reader has a tiktok account and she decides to do the "I think you're bad in bed" prank on Natasha.

note: I really don't know what this is. I saw it on tiktok and decided to write it. if i cringed you also have to experience it.

this can be any universe really.

w/c: 1k

You and Natasha are about to head out for a drive, and you had a fun idea to capture a bit of the day for your TikTok account. You'd set up the camera before she slid into the driver's seat. You placed the phone on the dashboard, using a small, inconspicuous car mount that you’ve cleverly tucked away. The mount is just the right height to capture both of you without being too obvious. You adjust the angle, making sure the camera is aimed perfectly to catch the both of you.

"Are you recording us?"

You nod silently. "Just for memories." You inform her. You sit back into the passenger's seat and watch the scenery go by.

"So…I was thinking of going to Target later and getting us a few things for the house," Natasha tried. "I think I can get in and out without being recognized."

"Sounds good." You nodded. "If we need more detergent, I'll add that to the list."

"Ok, and maybe some new sheets. Those are getting pretty old."

"They are pretty old, aren't they?" You continue. The car ride is silent for the next few minutes and you glance at the camera to make sure it's still recording.

"You're awfully quiet today," Natasha mentions. She's so used to you talking up a storm whenever you get the chance.

"I'm just tired." You shrug. "It's been a long week."

"I feel that." Natasha nods. "Anything on your mind?"

You pause dramatically, picking at your nails before you look at her. "I need to tell you something and I kind of don't know how to say it." Your heart beats in your chest. How could you explain this? It's a prank so of course she will be clueless but you are unsure of how to go about it.

"You can tell me anything," Natasha said.

"Ok, so the truth is," You begin. "Lately, I've been feeling like you've gotten a little lazier in bed." You say.

Natasha looks over at you with a blank expression. "What?"

"Like you've been kind of boring in the bedroom." You repeat.

Natasha shakes her head in confusion. "What do you mean by that? Boring?"

"Well, last night, for example. It was your turn to go down on me and it wasn't really your best work."

"Really?" Natasha asks, surprised. "You didn't seem to have a problem."

"I was too embarrassed to tell you."

Natasha's face falls. "Wow. I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's been like that for a while and I didn't want to hurt your feelings," You reach across the console to grab her free hand. "I just want us to have fun together."

"That's what I want too." Natasha agreed.

"We used to have fun."

"Yeah." Natasha agrees.

"So much fun." You nod. "I just think maybe you can practice a bit more? Try some new techniques or something."

"Oh...well," Natasha's face turns a bit pink and she glances between the road and you. "New techniques? Where do you suggest i practice this?"

"I don't know." You shrug, keeping the smirk off your face. "Maybe start with me?"

Natasha stares straight ahead. "Oh, well, I can try. But I'm not really sure where to start. Can you give me a specific?"

"Hmm, yeah. I'll just go into more detail." You decide.

"Go ahead."

"I guess when you have sex with a woman, you just have to remember the pearl is the center of the universe," You censor yourself for Tiktok of course. "I don't know if you've forgotten where it is or..."

"No, no," Natasha shook her head. "I'm very familiar with where it is. Yours especially."

"Ok, because I'm not sure if you're aware, but when you go down on me, you don't pay enough attention to it," You tell her. "It's almost like you don't like the taste."

Natasha makes a face. "What? That's ridiculous. I love your taste."

"But you're not doing enough."

"Ok."

"You need to be better. Not even just licking around my pearl, but actually sucking it. Really, just doing all that. All the things that are important."

"You know, I'm very confused about where this is coming from," Natasha turned on her indicator to turn into the parking lot. "Like I said last night you were very happy with my performance. Unless you were faking it."

"Of course, I wasn't faking it," You shake your head. "I've been wanting to tell you for a while but I didn't know how. But it's not only that, there are other things too."

"What other things?" Natasha asked.

"I feel like you're not very experimental. Like, I want to have sex in more than just the bed." You say.

Natasha nods. "I guess Tony's lab wasn't experimental enough."

"Babe," You gasp. You turn to the camera and sigh. "I'm going to have to edit that out."

Natasha parks the car. "Why are you saying all this? Is something going on? Are you recording still?"

"Yes, I'm still recording," You admit. "This is for my Tiktok. It's a joke."

"A joke? I knew it had to be," Natasha shakes her head. "Are you going to upload that?"

"Probably."

"Oh, wow." Natasha finally gets a good look at you. "I know this wasn't one hundred percent the truth. You're always so exhausted after we finish. Also, the things you say there's no way you're not getting what you want."

"What does that mean?" You play dumb.

"Oh, baby, fuck me," Natasha pitches her voice higher. "Don't stop. Don't stop." She fake moans and pretends to be you in the moments of passion and pleasure.

"Oh, shut up." You playfully swat her. "I don't sound like that."

"Yes, you do," Natasha chuckles. "Some days I can barely get you to go multiple rounds. You practically fall asleep with me still inside of you."

"Shut up!" You laugh.

Natasha shakes her head at the absurdity of it all. "I can't believe you got me so good. I really thought we were having problems."

"You're cocky," You scoff.

"And you're the queen of the universe, baby." Natasha grins, leaning over to kiss you. "Let's get this over with so we can get home and you can show me how much I don't suck in bed."

"I can't upload this to Tiktok," You sigh.

"Well put it with the other videos that we can't upload."

"Good idea," You reached for the camera and shut it off. So much for being a tiktok star.

[rosamundhr]

Books and Sins | Chapter One [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]

Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.

PS: I was inspired by fictional characters before writing this; Sherlock Holmes, Khan Noonien Singh, Alexander Masters, Joe Goldberg, Patrick Bateman and all the psychopath characters I've seen before. Oh and some books & tv shows. The character might be like any of them so please do not judge. And please read at your own risk as this book will include mature content, self harm, violence and swearing. Thank you, I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

- Rosamund

~~~~~

  "Cappuccino please," she asked the bartender, and then added kindly "My name is Katherine." before he could ask.

  Katherine... Benedict thought. It's nice meeting you... Finally.

  He was just behind her, and he could smell her linden scent. Even being this close to her was exciting, and he tried to keep his hands to himself. Taking a deep breath to stay calm, he ordered as well while keeping an eye on her.

  She found herself a table, and put her headphones on. Looking through her bag she finally took her book out. Caged Will - Timothy Carlton. The book looked worn and old. Is this your fifth time reading it? Oh no, it was Secret Caller. Your favourite... You can't imagine how sexy you look when you read my books. Those fingers, you once said they're always cold; oh how I want them around my-- "Are you going to keep standing?" The old lady said with a look of disapproval. He bit his cheeks inside his mouth, I'm going to cut your fucking throat with that denture, he thought but of course he didn't say that out loud: "I'm so sorry, ma'am." With a fake, small smile, he walked towards her table.

  "Excuse me, is this taken?"

  She looked up at him and took her headphones off, "No it's not, you can take it." she smiled. He just sat down, and her smile faded while continuing to read her book. Soon, she felt his gaze on herself and looked at him again, before she could say anything he said "I think I..." He pretended to think, narrowing his eyebrows, "I might know you... Katherine? Ashbourne High School?"

  She was surprised, "Yeah, it's me!" And felt bad for not remembering him for a moment. "And you must be..."

  "Benedict. That one guy who never talked to anyone and always got high grades."

  "Oh I remember you! Were you wearing glasses back then?" You're a bad, bad liar, my love. But I'm not.

  "Yes I was." He smiled cheekily, and shook her hand. It sent him vibrations inside... Cold fingertips, just like how he imagined they would feel. Soft and delicate. No nail polish, just manicured. Small and cute.

  "It's been a very long time. Eight years!" She said, still not remembering him but trying to.

  "Yes, you changed a lot! You're even more beautiful now." This made her giggle, "What? I'm telling the truth! You were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

  "Was I?" She smiled at him, and he knew why. She always thought she wasn't beautiful, and he knew it. And he wasn't lying, she really was beautiful.

  "Yes you were! Didn't anyone tell you? I never had to courage to tell you that I liked you because I thought you must have had a boyfriend."

  She giggled again, like she couldn't believe it. Someone liked her and couldn't tell her. Someone found her beautiful. Maybe he was just being kind.

  "I didn't. I wish you had told me, Benedict."

  "Well, I'm telling you now." He flashed her a cheeky grin before taking a sip of his Americano.

  "So... What do you do?" Her interest was obvious, and he'd seen that question coming. A complete geek, good reader, 26 year old virgin, shy, clever, beautiful. Hiding something in these dark pools of mystery... These dark brown eyes.

  "I'm a writer."

  "Oh really?!"  Her eyebrows shot up, and she leaned forward against the table, revealing cleavage. He tried not to look there, and smiled. "Yes. And you?"

  "I studied psychological counseling and guidance, I'm working at a school now."

  "I knew you were interested in psychology..." He looked at his watch and quickly stood up, "I'm so sorry, I have a meeting in thirty minutes. Can I have your number?"

  "Yeah, of course. Just tell me yours and I'll give you a ring."

  Oh no need, I have it already.

  He gave her his number and smiled at her. "It was nice seeing you again, Katherine. I'd love to meet up again sometime."

  "Me too, Benedict. Good luck with the meeting!"

  "Thank you, darling. Have a good day." He took his bag and turned his back, before she asked "I don't recall your surname..."

  "Cumberbatch, Benedict Cumberbatch." He waved at her and left the café with a smirk. Almost got you, baby. So naïve, so blind and silly yet intelligent. You have to be mine, and mine alone.

---

KathieD: I'm reading The Caged Will again. My favourite part is when he stabbed his stomach eleven times. He deserved it though! Not to mention that the main character hates odd numbers. He also never revealed his name...

I know, I know, I talk a LOT about the books but you know, this man is a LEGEND. No wonder why he's nowhere on the internet. No photos, no interviews, nothing at all. That makes him more mysterious... Timothy Carlton. We can't deduce anything by the name, can we? Maybe he's a real psycho. Who knows? I wonder if he reads people's comments... 

Mr Carlton, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I love your books! You're a great writer and I just wish I could get to know you in real life. Lots of love!

7.689 likes, 35 comments

  Samantha_X: I know how you feel, girl. He's an amazing writer! Too bad if he doesn't know that...

  KatherineD: Exactly! I just wish he would let us contact him sometime.

  Samantha_X: Same :(

  KatherineD: I have something to tell you, hmu!

  Samantha_X: Sure thing! X

  She was bouncing on her bed as she started telling her online friend. She's been telling almost everything about her life to her because they were like sisters now. They even met in real life and she was her best friend.

  K: He was wearing a long beige jacket and eyeglasses, with a leather postman bag, and smelt like mint. Did I say that he has blue eyes?

  S: Just your type, huh? Tell me what happened already!!!

  K: So he said he knew me from high school, (i'm not sure if I remember him) and I was the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and he liked me but couldn't tell me because he thought I had a boyfriend! I never did!

  S: And then?????!!!

  K: We kept talking, and he suddenly said he needed to go and asked for my number. I took his and gave him a ring, then asked his surname, Benedict Cumberbatch.

  S: So, did you call him? I think you should, you seem like you like him already lol

  K: Not after what happened last time, I don't want to have a boyfriend for a while tbh

  S: Wait, you didn't tell me, what happened?

  K: Never mind, I'll tell you later... Did I mention that he's a writer? I couldn't see any books online though. There's only one Instagram account with his name but it's private and I'm not sure if it's him, so I'll just wait for his call i guess :(

  S: Why don't you call him already? xD

  K: I don't want to seem desperateeee

  S: You won't!

  K: What if he was just being kind? I'll just wait, don't force me >:(

  S: Hahaha OK!

  She kept thinking of him all night, staring at the ceiling and wondering if he lied about being a writer... Maybe he didn't get his books published yet, she thought. Why would he lie about that? And... He was really attractive. The way he talked, the way he smiled... No, she didn't fall in love with a stranger! Not a stranger, a friend from high school. She couldn't remember him though. Or... Did she? Could he be the guy who never talked to anyone? But no, he had green eyes... No, blue. Green or blue? She sighed in frustration and took her phone, it was 1 AM and wasn't the right time to call him... Not to text him either.

  Still thinking of him, she fell asleep. 

[asherlockstudy]

Uncomfortable close-up to their Valentine Newlywed answers

Since Rhett was a tad reluctant to compliment Link sincerely I decided to use my psychoanalytical skills (anyway whatever) and seek the underlying honest answers they wanted to give. This could be a bit much at times and perhaps you shouldn't read if you are not a Rhink shipper, that's why I used a cut.

"What he loves about me" Link's expression is a little confusing - maybe an attempt at doubt or self-deprecation but it looks to me more like the embarrassment of the blushing bride.

"I love your..."

Who wants to bet that the first thing that came to Rhett's mind was ass but then he changed it to the first word that came to his mind after ass? A-ccent. Like, there's just no case accent was the first thing he thought because Link's accent isn't even that strong at this point. When Link got surprised at that, Rhett simply replied that he was trying to find something funny. But even so, like I said earlier, Rhett does love Link's accent. I am sure he is fond of it, he finds it adorable. And let's not forget he said "there was so much he could choose from"!

Link looks disappointed that it's not his guess, his eyes. An interesting thing here is that although he used a personality trait for Rhett, he expected / hoped for this physical trait for himself. But don't feel sorry - Rhett has talked about his baby blues and has even gone to the ridiculous extents of planning to make a blog exclusively for Link's eyes. So don't worry; it is known that Rhett at least acknowledges the beauty of Link's eyes. At least. And Link was expecting this from a place of knowledge and not as an attempt to be silly-sappy.

Things Rhett thinks Link loves about him:

voice (Link will later say he loves his laugh and this is close, he's also enchanted every time Rhett sings so...)

height (Link once said he is attracted to "people of extreme heights")

hair (we know that)

beard (lie detector test)

giving spirit (lol totally)

creativity (they've talked about this many times)

eyebrows (if Link has said he likes Rhett's eyelashes then liking his eyebrows is certain)

Rhett was guessing from a place of knowledge too.

Rhett then said he loves stories of Link's grandma doing weird things with him and I don't like being the weirdo to spell out the weird thing but Rhett's interest in that is vaguely associated to his weird mind being always in the gutter. I don't mean it turns him on of course but he loves hearing weird stuff that border on creepy. You know it's true. Sometimes he's like that. Link took revenge for the accent joke with the psoriasis.

Wow we saw some Rhett teeth. Link answered sincerely with a super cute "I love your laugh" but Rhett just said "I love the sound your mouth makes when you don't chew". Oh well. Link regretted being sincere and Rhett, after some good laughter, defended himself by saying "he (Link) walked himself into it". This makes exactly zero sense and I am wondering whether he meant Link walked himself into it by choosing the vulnerable / sincere way. Or if he just didn't know what he was talking about.

Rhett then asks for the next answer to be complimentary. He then repeats he has strong feelings about Link's accent. Again, I believe this! In a positive light. IDK, I do believe this. Link said he has strong positive feelings for Rhett's car which I found weird like Rhett because I thought it was established Link has the better car of the two. Who knows, maybe he lied about the positive thing. Unless he connects it in his mind with memories / experiences.

Link's guess a little later:

Link: If I wanted to, I could easily... start over.

Rhett: Start over?! Like, whole life?

L: ...Yeah, just like, get a re-do.

R: Huh.

L: And I would be like "Really? How?"

R: Mmkay. I said "If you wanted to, you could easily kill me".

Okay, this gets a little deeper. I think what initially Link meant was a joke about starting over regarding his relationship with Rhett. Rhett didn't get that and asked him if he meant his whole life. Link considered that "mmyeah..." and realised it wasn't that far off from what he meant, all jokes aside. Link does wish he could start over and redo many things in his life. This surely has A LOT to do with their religious upbringing. And maybe how it affected Link's choices. Stevie's laughter is so out of place sometimes. Rhett does not laugh and tries to rush this moment. Rhett's answer about Link killing him is not exactly weird or offensive or mean as I saw some people consider it. It shows, maybe subconsiously, several things; Link's intensity, Rhett's pliable nature especially to Link and it might be more indicative of how Rhett feels about Link than anything else, at least in this video.

And then, out of nowhere, or maybe so it seems to us, Rhett goes ballistic against everyone. He starts complaining about those complaining when they didn't give each other heartfelt compliments. Link joked he agrees with them. Rhett attempted to let this slip although it angered him. The crew laughed with Link's joke, meaning they kinda sided with him, and Rhett turned basically mad at Link.

He accused Link that he did the same that day and Link entirely deflected the conversation. All I'm gonna say is that don't think they don't communicate with each other about how they approach certain situations. I wonder if at times they misunderstand each other or one changes opinion suddenly and leaves the other hanging. Link tries to stop Rhett from going on but Rhett is unstoppable at this point.

You might say Rhett was straight out mean right there and I sure was like "whoa where did this all come from, man" but mean is not a reasonable explanation. He was angry and his words show he is in a pressured state. Unless you tend to have mood swings, which Rhett doesn't really have as far as I know, you don't go from all cutesy and mischievous to furious in milliseconds. Except if there is an underlying suppressed cause. And you may ask, okay does he feel pressured to say a compliment to Link? Is this such a big deal? Well, yes and no. I don't think Rhett meant "we're not gonna hold hands" or "compliment each other" when we ask it. I think we know what he means. I think he's talking about the - well, in his words - elephant in the room. The actually serious consideration that there is something more there. The expectation that it might get revealed at any point - whether intentionally or unintentionally. Rhett loses control at that moment, which is why Link, who knows him well, warns him to not go there but Rhett still does. And again, you might say: well, no fan asked them to kiss or to confirm anything! We asked them simple stuff that can be normal between platonic friends too. Yes, but there is something we don't take often into account. The mythical crew. The mythical crew are actually the ones who monitor closely what the fans believe, want and prefer to watch. This means that the crew has to inform and discuss with Rhett and Link how much they are gonna please the audience and in what ways. Which means that a crew of 50+ people have an elaborate opinion on what fans think of Rhett and Link's relationship (next to their own opinion of course) and this has to be communicated with them face to face. In short, Rhett and Link have their privacy invaded not only by the fans but by their employees and, moreover, they are forced to always have fun with it and take it lightly. Again, you could think: well, they could forbid any rhink reference to the crew from now on. And you would think this WOULDN'T make the crew MORE suspicious at this point? All I am saying, they are fine when they make rhink insinuations / jokes voluntarily but most of the time is forced upon them by both the fans and employees and this can be uncomfortable at best if they are just friends or tyrannical if there is something more there that they still keep for themselves. So, Rhett's frustration comes from a deeper place than being expected to give a compliment. If I were in their place as I imagine it (I could always be entirely wrong) I would feel like a muppet trying to balance all my reactions towards thousands of people, with several dozens of them being paid by me to scrutinize me and order me how exactly to act!

There is a cut following Rhett's vent and you can see that Rhett is trying to calm himself down.

He speaks to himself, mumbling "yeah alright yeah ok ok" and by the expressions I can tell he acknowledges he lost control. That doesn't mean he regretted what he said - just that he said more than it benefits him to say and apparently he said a lot more in the unedited video. Kudos then to Link, who actively tries to calm his friend down and make him feel more comfortable.

This might be unpleasant to some but from his stance I conclude that Link agrees with Rhett or at least understands him. He was just wise enough to not say it out loud. Link first warned Rhett to not speak and then stayed quiet as Rhett was venting. After the cut, we see him trying to help Rhett calm down and relax and he characteristically invites Rhett to focus his attention on him and find something he really loves about him. This is not a complaint - Link is smiling and is warm to Rhett. What he essentially does is trying to help Rhett forget he is being watched by thousands and his every word is weighted, which of course is Rhett's main problem. He just says "forget about them and focus on me and just say something you love, it's all good". I just love Link here. He's supportive and caring.

The next question is what Link loves when Rhett blanks his blank and Rhett is trying to picture it-

I have no doubt Link loves that. The ear thumbing, I mean.

So, then I am adding the stills that redeemed Rhett in the fandom:

But not to be that person, it's obvious that Rhett plays it up a ridiculous lot. And not even to appease the angry fans but probably to make fun of their anger. That's why Link laughs with his face and his answer "I love remembering the time we met".

This doesn't interest me at all. Instead, I am much more interested in Link's nonsensical answer "I love remembering the time we died" because what?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Link tends to say occasionally stuff that doesn't make sense but I don't think he would pass on the chance to say something even remotely meaningful in an opportunity like this and especially regarding his relationship with Rhett. Link clarifies: "...when we died. This is heaven". There are two possibilities and only two: a) this makes ZERO sense and it's the worst and most pointless joke ever and b) this is symbolic or something only Rhett could understand. Rhett does not dismiss this as stupid or silly with his usual done look. He asks questions about it and they discuss at length about how it happened that they died and why they went to heaven since it seems they killed each other. Well, it's because they killed each other in the exact same time with a prod-like tool and they escaped Good Ol' God's (in Link's words) notice. Okay. I'm just leaving this here and you can all draw your own conclusions. Personally, I am torn between a symbolical death and rebirth when they left their religious selves behind and death being used as a well known old metaphor of a certain physical state. It would work even more if it was both. Or Link was just talking nonsense. Let's not exclude that. So yeah. That's all I had to say................

[hitozy]

gentle love ‹ masterlist › twin stars

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

It didn't come as a surprise when days later my parents invited us over for dinner. What was surprising was seeing Jae there, and no one else in the family.

"She's been feeling lonely, yn. You and him are her only friends - she feels left out of the group. Try to understand."

I did understand, I understand better than they think. I could tell by the way she eyes him lustfully when we came in the house, the way her hug lingered longer than his, her coy smile and the drag of her hand travelling sensually down his arm. She wants Iwaizumi back and she couldn't make it any more obvious.

My only consolation is that Iwaizumi looks incredible uncomfortable and keeps on swatting her hand away or giving her a stern look, but she doesn't ease up on her assault. When she leans in close to him, pressing her breasts against his arm, making him blush is when I've had enough.

I feel vile rising up my throat, the food I had just swallowed trying to come back. Excusing myself, I saw a slight worry in Iwaizumi's eyes, he started to get up to accompany me, Jae pulls him back down. "Wait Haji! I need to tell you about this thing that happened at work, you would never believe..." As I moved further away, the sound of her voice blended into silence.

Instead of heading to the restroom in the corridor, I went inside my old room looking for comfort in my memory filled four walls. I sat there in silence looking at the pictures of my childhood and on each of them, there's Iwaizumi without fail. Some have Oikawa here and there, Jae is also in many of them, Maki and Mattsun in between. The only ones that don't have Iwaizumi in there is during those four years he left for Uni and was slightly replaced by Maki and Mattsun that never left me alone. But I found no solace in these once happy memories. The moment I found out about Jae and Iwaizumi, the lies and the betrayal, they had turned bitter.

"Haji haji! Where are you going?" Jae's voice called out from outside my bedroom door, dread creeping up my body at the thought of having to witness another devastating separation. I have half a mind of jumping out of my bedroom window, just to avoid to breaking my heart further.

"I'm looking for yn. She didn't look so good."

Jae huffs annoyed, "It's always yn! 'YN is coming with us' or 'YN was sick, she needed me there' or the best one! 'YN is my friend, I will always be on her side.' When is this false care of yours going to stop? I know I made a mistake on regecting you Haji. I want to take it back, I want us back, don't you?"

My blood ran cold in that moment, her words structing a cord in my heart, revealing insecurities buried deep for years. I had always had a subconscious feeling that Iwaizumi only hung out with me during his teen years out of pity, no matter what he said.

"False care?" He was right outside my bedroom door, I could hear the shuffling of his clothes and the clacking of Jae's high heels stop. "Did you just say false care?"

"Is that all you picked up on? Haji, please, I want-"

"Don't you ever say that about me and yn, Jae. You have no right. If there is anyone here that has any 'false care' it would be you."

"Haji-"

"If you actually care about anyone but yourself, then you would stay in your place and stop with all of this. You had your chance, Jae. I gave you so many chances, I begged you the night before the wedding and you said no. There is no going back."

"Why are you so mad? We could just runaway now and forget everything Haji!"

I hear him sigh and I can picture the disappointment on his face, the annoyance, the anger. Its palpable in the air even with the door separating us. "I am mad, Jae, because I've been in love with an asshole for so many years. Because I still love you, an asshole, even though I'm trying really really hard to forget you. Because I-," I can see the way the doorknob jiggles, a tell-tale sign that he rested his hand on it, "I can't believe how little you care about yn. If what you said on the wedding day is true, which I still don't believe; why would you do this to her? She's your cousin, she's been like a sister to you and so many of us for years and you're okay letting her suffer this way?"

"I just- on that day you said you didn't care if she was actually in love with you. Why are you-"

"You and I and every single person in the world that has met my mochi know that she deserves better. So much better, so why in the world would you do this? YN loves you, so much, and you'd just drop her like that Jae? What is wrong with you?"

"Easy. She has you and I want you, that's what's wrong."

Its silent for a moment, I can imagine the incredulous look on Iwaizumi's face at her words. Is he going to jump at her and kiss her? Will he runaway with her and leave me? The mere thought of it tears another piece of my heart and I don't think I could take anymore. I stand up to hide in the bathroom, from anyone that may come in.

But then he speaks.

"Well, Jae, I am hers and you are just going to have to deal with it."

The silence was deafening and the tears I was shedding, the sobs I was holding back only worsened the nausea I already had. Running to my bathroom as fast and as quiet as I could, I barely made it to empty my stomach.

If they spoke more outside, I knew nothing about it. Iwaizumi came in moments later to brush and hold my hair out of my face, rubbing my back. Once I was done and all cleaned up, he pulled me in close and kissed my forehead, "Are you feeling better, mochi?"

I observed his face and whatever emotion he had while speaking to Jae was long gone. His eyes showed worry and tenderness. As I reached out to rub this forehead to stop him from deepening his wrinkles I feel a bit better. If Iwaizumi is here, then it means he's no leaving, not for now and I can live with it. "A bit, but I wanna go home and watch a movie."

He grinned at me, making my heart skip a beat like as if everything that happened a while ago was nonexistent, "Cartoon or 4D?"

"Both?"

"Both it is then, my sweet mochi. Let's go and say our bye's now. Your dad might get the wrong idea and come to shoot my head off."

I snorted, remembering the time when Iwaizumi lost the inter-high and sneaked into my room for comfort, cuddling me in just sweatpants when my dad walked in and had a fit. I repeated the words he had said back then, "Not in my house nor with my daughter, Iwaizumi!"

He chuckled, "Never been more afraid in my life, even though you were there."

"What does that mean?"

He only gave me a secretive smile and bopped my nose. We said our goodbye's to my parents - noting how my mother didn't give us any leftovers, probably afraid to get me sick, even though it was her fault. As we walked out, I also noticed something else missing or more like someone else, "Where's Jae?"

Iwaizumi tensed under my fingers, wrapping his arm tighter around me. What worried me was the sudden tense smile my mother gave me and the slight anger radiating of my father.

"She had to leave, love. An emergency."

I watched them closely and a horrible thought came up in my mind. Did they know about them?

I looked at my mother and I saw guilt in her eyes, "Oh honey, I'm sorry. If I had known how jealous Jae was about you marrying Iwaizumi, I would have never invited her."

... What?

"But I should have seen it coming," Mother continued, "She has always been jealous of you, since you were kids. Always taking your stuff or blaming you for things you never did. I would have expected her to grow up," she huffed annoyed, "but it seems I was hoping to much from her."

She caressed my cheek, "It's a good thing Hajime put her in her place. Such a good husband!"

Oh thank God, they only heard the last part of it.

My father takes my hand in his, it had always been much bigger and covered with callouses from years of hard work. "My darling, if anyone ever tries to hurt you or make you feel less worthy than you are, please know that it is not true," he kissed the back of my hand, like he's always done, "a princess must always be cared and treasured. Always remember it and if not, I will be here to do so."

He cracks a grin at Iwaizumi, "But I guess you won't be coming to me for it, will you? You have Hajime to do it now, and I would believe you prefer it that way."

The sudden blush that appeared on my face made all of them laugh, the tense atmosphere of my question forgotten in the wind.

"I'll make sure to remind her that she is nothing less than a queen, old man."

"I'll hold you accountable then, Hajime."

―

Later that night, in the comfort of my bed Iwaizumi comes in bearing gifts. Tea for my upset stomach, blankets and a few sandwiches. "You hardly ate anything, so I though this would be better for you."

"But you made like, ten, Hajime."

"... I'm starving, alright?"

My head resting under his chin, his arm draped around my shoulders, my leg thrown over his, covered up in the softest blankets ever, a wedding gift from Oikawa with a letter that I keep in my bedside.

He's a tough cookie, YN. You and I, we both know it but please, don't give up on him. I've only seen him smile so carelessly when your around. He's carefree and senselessly fun when you appear. I only see him be true to himself with you and I'm happy to know he has finally realized it after so many years. Continue to give him only smiles and happiness, little mochi. Love, the best (duh) King Oikawa

We cleaned up once we had enough of the foods and just continued to watch until the end. He started to take his leave to his bedroom when in jerk reaction fashion, I reach out to pull him back.

"Stay."

He looks at me intently, trying to figure out the message behind my words. He gives me a smile as he comes back in and pulls me back onto his chest, "You always hated sleeping alone. You should have told me this was okay for you."

"Too quiet, to big."

"Then... How about we share the bedroom?"

―

All you who sleep tonight Far from the ones you love, No hand to left or right And emptiness above –

Know that you aren’t alone The whole world shares your tears, Some for two nights or one, And some for all their years.

All of you who sleep tonight - Vikram Seth

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! i wrote this chapter in less than 10 minutes. then spent three days cleaning it up. i am finally getting my shit together and found a schedule that I can work with for everything I have to do :D

[hypnotixstorm]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* to do list *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Key

Normal Text = Have NOT started working on the request

Bold and Pink Text = I am CURRENTLY working on the request

Once I have completed a request it will be REMOVED from this list

Can I get an imagine of Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho? Maybe an AU hundreds of years ago where he ends up caring for a human woman and teaching her how to defend herself. If you don't like that one, anything you think of.

Character: Kanda from DGM NSFW Prompt: "Make me." Love youuuuuu 😘

How about a NSFW scenario of Kakashi coming home to his sweet little naughty civilian S/O? 😜 A bit of role play where they call him sensei while he's doing them on the kitchen table?

Thanks for the Soi Bean Post! This gonna be my last Soi Fon request. Sorry for being quite a Soi Queen freak. For my request can you Soi after shower decides to wear s/o clothes. S/O tries to take picture of her. Then she tells that she has falling in love with you. You have changed let me take care of you. You can be very very very sluff on this one. Thanks!

ok ok so i have a few requests 🥺🥺 so! first could you maybe do an “I missed you.” with Rukia? 🥺💗 just fluff for my baby girl aaaa

Ichigo kissing his s/o in the rain 😆😆😆 Headcanons or scenario is up to you! 💙

ANYTHING SHIKAMARU. Deadass anything

Hey! I was wondering if I could request some Rukia x fem!reader relationship headcannons? Only if you're able to! Tysm! 💖

I hope requests are open but I was wondering if you could do something with byakuya and his s/o being like a very intimidating couple but his s/o is actually very sweet to everyone?

Kakashi x reader and instead of team 7 its now y/n tryna see whats under the mask and eventually she just asks and he actually reveals it adfhsjjs

Can I please get rat dad Ging being seduced by a younger woman who refuses to take “no” for an answer until he finally gives her what she wants? NSFW please! 💖

ok so please don't feel pressured to write this birthday imagine 🥺 i know u have a lot of requests rn ah. but! if you're able to i really would love another toshiro one bc i'm a sucker for him 😭 maybe one where he's really overworking himself so the reader helps him relax and it just ends in cuddles 🥺💓 only if you're able to! ilysm 💓💖💓💖💓💘💓💘💓

ok i swear this is the last one i feel bad requesting sm 😭 but maybe a “Do you wanna, maybe, go out sometime?” with toshiro bc he really is best boy 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

OKAY SO ANOTHER ONE WITH SABURO WITH UHHHH GOING ON A FIRST DATE WITH HIS S/O ICIXHAJGSSHSSUSKSU he'll probs driving his van around with the music blasting out 👀👀

honestly i would kinda die if u wrote some renji smut 😳😳 literally in any situation, i'm just needy rn 😭

ok ok i'm here hehe. how about, the reader gets really injured during a battle and shiro's kinda blaming himself for it. kindaaa angst into a super fluffy ending if that's ok hhh 🥺

Hi 🥰 Can I get a headcanon for Kakashi with a really seductive s/o, like she likes to tease him in public and whispers dirty things in his ear and calls him daddy? Nsfw pls? 😊😁

“make me” and hisoka??? thank you

hehe this is for the 🦋🦋 event! congrats on 200 bb!! so, i saw attack on titan on your list and i'm experiencing a severe lack of my best boy marco 🥺🥺 if you don't write for him that's fine hehe, but if you do, could i please maybe get a lil scenario where marco helps the reader out with her training and then they accidentally confess their feelings and it's just rlly fluffy and cute? 🥺 i need marco being happy in my life rn sbdjdhdjr 💓💓

“If you keep biting your lip like that, I’m holding you accountable for my actions.” for Kakashi please! I love him 🤤

If your requests are still open, can i ask for some domestic kakashi fluff? Ty

Hi mommas❤️❤️ CAN I PWEASE request some Guren (seraph of the end) relationship headcanons ? Not nsfw but maybe a little steamy 🥺🥰 I LOVE UU -🍒

Hi Chloe 🥰 Can I have some spicy nsfw headcanons for Yami where his s/o is acting really bratty during sex and he puts her in her place? 😪😂😊

Kageyama wirh Oikawas sister reader? there just chillin Nd stuff and toru comes over and picks y/n up and they hug and kageyama is like “eXcuSe mE???” forgive my spelling im on mobile lmao

Hiii❤️❤️ Can I request an imagine where you live in a small town and work at a cafe and Bakugou is your cliche small town boyfriend? Or headcanons! The idea is so cute and I love your writing 😊

okay so uHHHHH you can just go for Mephisto sharing some food with his s/o owo;; take your time on it too because i know it's gonna be really great either way!

A reader insert saved by vampire! main YYH crew from a pack of werewolves

Since you said requests are open maybe.. suga subbing for you? Idk he's just always appeared like someone who would love to please you in anyway possible.

V A M P I R E LAVI!!! DO IT GIRL!! 👌👌♥️♥️♥️

Fake dating with Lavi!!!!! Need more of the DGM boyz!! 😂

can I get an itachi x reader fic where it's itachi's birthday and the reader decides to give him a special night (👀), wearing lingerie, lighting candles, etc. for him to come home to? I love your work (and you!!) sm btw 🥺💞 - nina!! (@kunoichihatake)

hello ✨💕 it’s me, ryn 😘 if it’s okay, can i request a nishinoya x female!reader? perhaps a first date at the boardwalk with like the rides and carnival stuff? then at the end of the date he kisses her and it turns out the karasuno squad was following them the whole night hehe?

Hi! Can I request a prompt of some soft Kakashi, maybe some cuddles, perhaps it gets a little heated... a lil' Nsfw never hurt nobody👀👅 Thank you so muuch!~😍❤️

If I had kakashi in front of me I would tell him “aren’t you tired of being the most handsome man here?”

Hi! I saw that requests were open for the Haikyuu!! boys so here I am! I was wondering if I could request a Tsukki x reader where Tsukki has a crush on the reader but doesn't know how to express his feelings other then throwing insults. it can be angsty or fluffy I just really love Tsukki as a tsundere lol. (also btw I LOVE your theme and blog aesthetic its very pretty!)

Hey wifey😚 so Ichigo has stolen my heartttt can I get the strawberry boy with an S/O who gets super shy with with physical contact? Tyy💗💗

Fake dating with Lavi!!!!! Need more of the DGM boyz!! 😂

NSFW Vampire Squall (FF8) for very obvious reasons because UUUUUUGH

Hello there miss, my name is kandaxxx. Nice to meet you since I have definitely never requested from you before and this is definitely my first time and i am definitely not taking advantage of your bomb writing skills to ask you to write a “Choke me, daddy.” for Seymour from FF (love you forever and always!!!!!!)

hey butterfly 🥺 can you please write a story where the reader and (any character) are fighting and it turns out it was just about something stupid? like chicken nuggets? thank you 🥺💗

Eek! DGM! I was wondering if you would do a request for a general Allen Walker relationship HC? I don’t see him on the character list, but I’m just curious *bows* Thankyou senpai!

Spin The Bottle with any of the DGM characters that you're comfortable writing????? (but like obviously when Kanda spins the bottle it has to land on the reader [me] because YOU KNOW WHY OK????????) ilysm!!! 😍

I’m thinking a smut scenario of some kind that uses the prompts “Perhaps I need to remind you of your place.” and “Let me show you what happens to little brats who don’t follow the rules.” I feel like those are very Nozel Silva things to say. 😈 -bakubabes-hatake

Omfg HI mommy, Can i request really fluffy and soft itachi after he comes back from a mission? Non-massacre AU and you’re on the same team as sasuke lolol thirsty for them age gaps ❤️ thank youuuu ily -🍒

Can I get a fake dating with Kand--Roy Mustang (hahahaha) 👉👈🥺

Is this okay to ask for? Egor taking care of s/o who has period cramps... Ty!

can I get an itachi x reader fic where it's itachi's birthday and the reader decides to give him a special night (👀), wearing lingerie, lighting candles, etc. for him to come home to? I love your work (and you!!) sm btw 🥺💞 - nina!! (@kunoichihatake)

Hello! Can I please request some headcanons for Kiba with a S/O with a praise kink? And for Shikamaru with a S/O with a choking kink? Thank you so much.

Wow. Here is me putting in a request. Shocker, right?? 😂 I want some Greed, baby 😈 as for the prompt, it's not in your list, but could you maybe do something based off of "Oh my god. Did we just break the bed?" ???? 👉👈

It's a shame u only have one ling request, so could I request some Ling x Reader where they're both absolutely oblivious until Lan Fan or Ed or someone finally just tells them for them? Sorry if I didn't make any sense ❤️❤️

ok idk if you write threesomes but 😳😳 if you could write one with daichi and suga n maybe some dp, i'd probably die 🥺💓 only if you're comfortable with that tho ♡

Tyki flirting with his crush in his native language of Portuguese? I really love your work and please have some candy 🍬🍭🍫

hi butterfly! 🥰 i hope you're doing well! you already know what i'm going to ask you for — a request! i just feel really down in the dumps lately. can i request headcanons for an s/o that takes graduation pictures on their grandmother's 3 year death anniversary with kenma, nishinoya & kuroo? i hope you can do my request! you don't have to do it if you don't want to!

hehehe kuroo, tsukki and kageyama headcanons of their s/o sending them a nude while they at training and them making an excuse to get home and fUcK yOu SeNsELeSs - 🌊

Hello may I request itachi x reader. People learned the truth and he can finally return to his wife and children in the village 🥺 and they don’t have to be in secret anymore

holy shit,, i am starved for the squall content,,, if you don't mind, catching you wearing their clothes?

S/O walking in on kakashi masturbating? 👉👈 💕

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Four

Table of Content or Part Forty-Three

Read HERE on wattpad

Words: 3.2k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @cruecifymesixx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @emmaelizabeth2014 @meetthesixxter @sixxsixxsexx @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror @mcnibberachi

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror

May 10, 1986, is hands down one of the most embarrassing days of my life...and Nikki's...and Tommy's, Heather's, Vince's, Mick's, Tansy's, etc.

I pluck the letter from our accountant off the door, not shocked with its content, but it still sends a streak of anger, sadness, and disappointment through me.

"What's that?" Izzy asks me, and I raise my brows and push it into his chest.

"A snapshot of your future if you don't slow down." I tell him with a sigh, taking my sunglasses off and putting my keys on the keyring as the guys file in behind me. "Nikki!" I call. "We gotta head to the hotel!"

I turn to face Slash, Izzy, Steven, Axl and Duff, digging in my jacket pocket to pluck five keys out.

"There's snacks in the pantry, beer in the fridge, and food in the freezer. Do not go in our bedroom, I will know, and I will kill you. Do whatever you want, but if you break it you buy it and I don't want random girls in here. If anything goes missing..." I start, turning to face them. "...I will make sure your career crashes and burns before you even get it off the ground." I promise, not an ounce of bullshit in my voice, seeing that my words get my point across to everyone except...

"You're bluffing." Axl scoffs out and I raise a brow.

"All I have to do is tell Nikki I have sex with Duff in my dreams." Is what I want to say, but I just brush it off and ignore him as Nikki stumbles in, pulling his jacket on, dragging his suit in the protective covering behind him by its hanger.

"Dude, you alright?" Steven asks him, a little concerned and Nikki pushes past them to go to outside to my car.

"I thought he was the best man." Izzy says and I exhale, grabbing my overnight bag and my dress for the wedding, from the couch.

"He is." I confirm, heading to the door. "Be good, stay out of trouble, I left the number for the hotel and our room number on the fridge." I inform them, opening the door, giving them one last glance. "Thank you for watching the house. I love you, guys."

"Love you!" Duff, Steven and Slash calls back before I shut the door and step to my car.

I put my stuff  carefully in the trunk, seeing Nikki lazily crumpled his suit up and tossed it in.

I roll my eyes and fix his mess, laying it as flat as I can with my wrapped up dress before shutting the trunk and getting into the driver's seat.

Tommy and Heather had the Biltmore Hotel in Santa Barbara as their wedding venue, and everyone decided it would be easier to just stay the weekend instead of driving back home...Nikki had a grand plan to kick drugs over the weekend to avoid rehab.

But he did the exact opposite.

"...So Sparkie had to just give up on making it because his flight was delayed repeatedly and--Do I look okay?" Tansy asks me, looking down at her light pink dress that hugs just the right amount of her overly thin body.

"You look beautiful." I tell her, going over her tracks with more foundation as Tommy comes in.

"Nikki's fucked up." Tommy tells me, irritated and I look at him with dread filling me.

"What?"

"Nikki is fucked up on smack, Viv. That's what. And he's my fucking best man." He repeats. "My parents are here. Her family is here. They're pretty conservative and my best man is obviously tripping on something." He goes on.

"Shhhit." I hiss, walking to the door and he's hot on my trail as I make my way to the groom's suite, seeing Nikki on a couch, nodding off with his sunglasses on.

I take them off and pat his face until he wakes up.

"What?!" He startles.

"Fuck, Nikki." I let out a breath, seeing his pupils are nearly gone, his eyes a dead giveaway to his problem. "Where is it?" I ask and he looks at me blankly.

"Where's what?"

"I'm not playing this game with you. Where is it?"

His pinpoint accented eyes burn into me.

"If it were in your pussy, you'd know where it was." He sarcastically states.

My hand is picking up his pant leg and reaching into his boot, pulling out a lump of tar wrapped in cling wrap.

He rolls his eyes as I go to the other boot and pull out a plethora of syringes.

"Stand up." I order and he rolls his eyes and stands up. "Arms out, legs spread."

He obeys, a tight smirk on his face when I finish patting down each of his arms, and start on his legs.

My hands reach into each of the pockets in his pants to make sure there's nothing in them before he's grabbing my hand and putting it on his crotch.

"You couldn't keep it up right now if you tried." I tell him and he let's out a chuckle.

I just push at his chest and he falls back onto the couch as I gather his supplies.

"You'll get this back later." I lie to him, turning step past Tommy to put the stuff in my bag.

It was a smart tactic, truthfully. He couldn't shoot up because he didn't have his supply. But someone else there did have a supply I didn't even think about until Nikki was borderline comatose by the time the ceremony was about to begin.

"You what?!" I shout at Tansy as panic settles into her blue eyes.

"He was starting to bug out so I just thought--"

"--No, you didn't think about anything! If you had, you would've actually had time to process the fact that he has obligations to Tommy that, thanks to you supplying him with his bullshit, he might not be able to do!" I bark back and tears swell in her eyes as she looks like she's about to cry.

"Viv, just calm down." Vince interjects and I glare at him before looking at Nikki's nearly knocked out form.

"We gotta get out there in, like, ten minutes, Viv." Tommy reminds me, just as frustrated as me.

I let out a weak breath, giving up, rubbing my forehead before looking at Tansy.

"Do you have any blow?" I ask her, and she looks confused for a moment. "He needs to be alert so we can try to hide the fact he's stoned. Key word: 'try'."

"Y-Yeah?" She tells me.

"Bring it here."

She doesn't argue, going to her purse and pulling out a bindle of blow.

I hand it to Tommy and he cuts a few lines of if up, patting at Nikki's face to wake him up.

"Yo, best man, wake the fuck up, snort some, and let's go. I don't wanna be late and I don't wanna embarrass Heather." He tells him as Nikki groggily comes to.

"I'm up, man, just..." He waves his hand at him, sitting up.

I hold out a straw from Tansy's drink, to Nikki, and he looks up at me.

"One minute you're telling me I'm going to rehab, the next you're encouraging me to snort coke?" He laughs humorlessly. "Jesus Christ, are you manipulative or what?"

"Hey, asshole, hush and get your shit together so you don't ruin the most important day of my fucking life." Tommy loses his patience and sternly tells Nikki and Nikki looks insulted.

"The most important day of your life was the day I let you join my band." Nikki fires back, and Tommy rolls his jaw.

"Viv, you're my best man." Tommy tells me suddenly.

"Tommy, just--"

"Am I gonna be standing up there by myself or...?" He interrupts me and I sigh.

"I'll do it, drummer." Mick says from where he's in the corner, minding his business.

"Thank you, Mick. Good to know someone in my band has my back."

"Look, I'm fine." Nikki insists, ignoring Tommy, rubbing his eyes and discarding the lines of white powder. "And I already got the rings, let's just get this done, man."

Nikki goes to get up, but trips and falls into the glass coffee table beside him.

"Babe--"

"I got it." He insists, cutting me short. "I'm good."

No, he wasn't. When we got outside, the afternoon sun just highlighted his sickly appearance.

A disgusting yellow tint to his skin that seemed to cling to his thin frame, although the bloat that only seemed to worsen in the warm weather, covered up his obvious weight loss.

He was dripping sweat, and not because it was that hot outside, and he even left four different times during the ceremony to go to the bathroom (we all know what he was really doing), and when he was present, he was nodding off non-stop.

By the time the reception hit, I was dreading his best man speech.

I eat another bite of my salmon as Tansy and Heather continue to talk about where she and Tommy are honeymooning, and Tommy looks disappointed as Nikki approaches the table from another trip to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Tommy." I mumble and he sighs out.

"Thanks, Viv." He kisses the top of my hand before looking over my head.

Arms wrap around my neck, and I'm startled a little before I look up and see Athena standing over me.

"Hey!" I greet her, standing up to hug her to me.

"Marry a rock guy and you're suddenly too good for me?" She asks, joking about how long it's been since we've seen each other. "Speaking of your rock guy, he didn't look too good up there." She says lowly through her teeth and I raise my brows.

"He's not." I reply quietly, feeling Nikki's hand squeezing at my shoulder and Athena looks at him over my shoulder and smiles.

"Hey." Nikki tells her the best he can as they hug for a second.

"Hey, dude." Athena says to him. "Um, I'll see you guys before I go, alright? There's hot guys everywhere and I'm gonna go see if I can hook a dick--I mean a date--for tonight."

"Be wise with your selection." I warn her.

"I will." She queezes my hand before stepping away and I exhale softly before sitting next to Nikki and as he drinks down his glass of wine Tommy stands up and clanks his spoon against his glass, silencing the five hundred guests.

"Alright, first of all, Heather and I would like to thank all of you for driving out here to celebrate this day with us. We really do appreciate it, and we love you guys more than you know. Right now, we're gonna take a moment to hear some words from the best man and maid of honor, and then really get the party going." He announces and Nikki squeezes his eyes closed for a moment before standing up, holding up his wine.

"To the bride and groom, may all your struggles be in bed." He let's out with a slight slur, obviously expecting people to laugh, but it falls flat.

"May all your ups and down be in bed." Is what he meant to say, but his brain was checked out, and by the looks on Heather's parents' faces, they were already second guessing the marriage after Nikki said that.

I struggle to keep my cringing on the down low as everyone awkwardly glances around and Nikki sits down, looking a little humiliated as he hides behind his hair while keeping his eyes on the table.

The awkwardness subsides as the maid of honor starts a tear jerking, elaborate speech about her relationship with Heather, but I don't pay much attention, too busy worrying over Nikki.

The way his eyes are shifting around the room, tells me he's anxiously trying to think up an escape plan to ditch this place all together.

My hand goes to his thigh, and he looks at me.

Despite being pissed at him for letting Tommy down, I still feel bad for him. I know he didn't plan to let him down, he just can't fucking help himself and I don't understand why he can't walk away from the drugs.

I give him a reassuring smile before kissing his cheek.

He puts his hand on the inside of my knee, scooting me closer to him, and I rest my head against his arm.

Once the girl's speech is done, Nikki's disappearing and the bride and groom dance is next.

I watch Tommy and Heather, their pure, annoying, over the top, but sweet, love.

I think Nikki and I had that at one point. We had to have had it in order to be so sure we wanted to spend the rest of ours lives together, even though I still second guess myself sometimes, and I'm sure he does, too.

I don't even think I was sure about it when we got married.

Tommy and Heather look so sure, though. They say, "I love you." If I said that, Nikki would probably run for the hills.

Someone's grabbing at my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts and I see Vince.

"C'mon, Miss Ballet." He tells me, and I furrow my brows.

"You're not big on dancing, Vince." I point out as we join other people slowly dancing around Heather and Tommy at this point.

"I'm not dancing, I'm spending time with my worst friend." He chuckles, and I take off my heels, holding them by their straps in one hand while my other hand rests in his, and his other hand holds at my waist.

Our one-inch height difference has me smirking arrogantly at him as we move together.

"What?" He asks.

"I'm taller." I pick at him a little.

"You're not ever gonna let that go, are you?"

"Nope." I giggle, shaking my head a little. "Sharise couldn't come?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Skylar got sick." He explains and I nod as he glances around.

"Where'd he go?"

"Exactly where you're thinking he is." I respond and he stays quiet for a second, holding me a little closer to him.

"Have you two talked more about him...you know...?"

I shake my head.

"He doesn't think he needs rehab, just detox. As for therapy to save our marriage...that's up in the air." I admit, looking as Tommy and Heather laugh lightly amongst themselves as they dance, and Vince rubs his lips together and follows my line of sight.

"When I married Beth, I never thought we'd separate." He tells me and I raise my brows.

"Really?"

"No, I'm just trying to give you something to relate to, to help you not feel alone." He confesses and I laugh a little.

"I'm fine, Vince. I'll be okay."

"You and Nikki hate each other, Vivian. And if you don't yet, you will. Trust me. Beth and I were the same way and we put it off thinking it was gonna get better and it just never did."

"But Nikki and I are gonna work on it and get help." I state.

"Look, I'm not trying to freak you out, I'm just wondering how the hell you're gonna fix things because it's gonna take a lot. And if he isn't sober and on his A-game and giving it his all to mend shit, it's gonna wear you down more and more and it's gonna get uglier."

I know what he's saying is true, and I sniffle back a tear-induced running nose as water lines my eyes.

"Hey," he sees me about to cry, hugging me fully to him now and I wrap my arms around him, tears rolling down my face. "Shh shh shh." He soothes me.

"Vince, I'm scared." I say in a whisper.

"Viv, you guys are gonna be okay. I'm sure you'll find a way take fix things just to spite people saying you two won't last." He assures me, his hand rubbing comfortingly up and down my back. "Look at me." He says and I do, and he wipes at my tears. "It'll be fine, alright?" I nod. "Okay?"

"Okay." I reply, sniffling again.

He kisses my cheek and I hug him again.

"You got this." He promises me.

After our dance is over, Tommy is still in Heatherland and I decide to go find Nikki in the men's room.

"I was about to come find you." He tells me when he sees me come in as he's splashing water on his face in the sink.

"I was waiting for a dance with you but you never came back." I tell him, taking note that he's more aware than earlier.

He doesn't reply, he just starts to pull his bowtie and jacket.

"We can go up to our room and you can change." I suggest calmly.

He ignores me, getting the bowtie off, and sliding from his jacket.

I take them from him so he doesn't leave them, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

"You can't strip down and go to the room naked." I argue as he gets his belt loose before getting his pants undone. "Nikki--"

I'm cut off, his lips keeping me quiet out of absolutely nowhere, and as he backs me against the counter of sinks and pushes me up onto it, pushing my dress up my hips. I realize what he's doing. "We can't do this." I break away from him, taking deep breaths as his tongue runs up my neck.

"Why not?" He asks against my skin.

"Because you're not attractive to me right now." I want to say, but don't.

I don't have to.

"I just want you to get better." I say to him and he furrows his brows, giving me the opportunity to realize his pupils are big now, probably due to over correcting his heroin stupor with blow during his bathroom visit.

"So, what, you're just gonna keep your fucking legs closed until I get help?" He asks me as if I'm being ridiculous and I close my eyes and sigh out.

"Nikki, you're sick." I say as calmly and politely as I can, my stomach churning at his appearance. "I'm a shitty wife if I close my eyes and let you fuck me and just pretend you're healthy." I explain.

I think he's going to yell at me, or pitch a fit...but his tears roll down his face and collide with my hands that are still holding him, and he looks angry but tired of fighting.

"I'm trying to fix this. I don't want to go to anybody and have them tell me how to be married and how to live my life. You're not happy and I'm just trying to fix this." He tells me and I swallow back my own tears.

"Sex doesn't fix this, Nikki." I tell him. "I wish it would, I really do, but it just doesn't."

I see an obvious fight within himself as he thinks of what to tell me next.

"Fine." His voice cracks, a mixture of a sigh of relief and a stubborn surrender lacing his tone.

He and I called Bob Timmons and Doc that night.

[spicycreativity]

Intertwined - Chapter 7

Chapter: 7/8

Additional Notes: IDK if anyone is keeping sole track of this fic on Tumblr but if you are, apologies for the delay in posting 😅 Also do yourself a favor and get an AO3 account

Chapter Content Warnings: Blood, respiratory distress, very brief mentions of alcohol (alcohol use not depicted)

This was getting unbearable. Janus buried his face in his handkerchief and coughed and coughed. His blood was warm against his tongue and lips, streaking the blooms dark red. His chest burned constantly now, his throat always irritated and raw.

To top it all off, Patton had disappeared without a word of warning, leaving Janus with no answers. If anything, he had more questions than ever before. The vase of poppies on Patton's dresser could not have been a coincidence, but there was just no way this was Patton's fault.

So Janus was saddled with a mystery, with flowers in his lungs, and with Remus' awkward attempts at support.

"I'm just saying, you can't rule it out until you try it," Remus said, pausing in his pacing to give Janus a doe-eyed pout.

"For the last time, Remus, I'm not going to huff weed killer." Janus threw his head back against the couch cushions and tried his best to sigh. The effect was somewhat muted by the sputtering coughs that followed.

"I can tell you want to scream," Remus said.

He was right, though Janus would never admit it. "Yes, I think that--" Breathe, breathe, breathe-- "that'll fix me." What Janus really wanted, disgusted as he was to admit it to himself, was Patton. Not that Patton would be able to do anything that Remus couldn't do, but Janus missed him. Quite terribly, if he was being honest with himself. Maybe he would feel better if he cried, not that he'd ever allow himself to do that. He'd have to be out of his mind on hypoxia and poppy seeds.

"I just wish there was something I could do," Remus said, dropping hands to his sides. "Other than just sit here and watch."

Janus hadn't told him about the flowers in Patton's room. He kept things close to his chest by nature, determined to solve his problems on his own. He didn't ask for help. Even if he would have dearly liked another perspective on this mystery, he couldn't put that responsibility on Remus. It would only make him feel worse if he failed.

"You can make me ginger tea," Janus said, forcing a smile. It wasn't right seeing Remus fret like this. "With honey."

A teacup appeared on the coffee table alongside a bottle of whiskey. So much for occupying Remus with busywork. "What I should do," Remus said, brandishing his morningstar, "is go maul Roman until he agrees to fix you."

"As entertaining as that would be, I'm not so sure that's the most efficient course of action, per se." Janus shifted, trying to work out how to leave Remus without making him feel abandoned. He just wanted to go check on Patton, but didn't feel at all up to the task of refereeing whatever confrontation would result in Patton and Remus sharing space. He could always just get up and leave with no explanation…. But Remus didn't deserve that.

In the end, he decided to wait until Remus got bored. There was no guarantee he was even going to find Patton. He had been AWOL for the past two days and Janus had had a near run-in with Virgil last night when he'd gone to look for Patton, an experience he was not keen to repeat.

And if Janus expedited the process of ditching Remus by pretending to fall asleep, well, he'd never tell.

Patton had a distinctly hungover look about him, with his glasses missing and his hair sticking up in the back. He blinked at Janus, bleary-eyed, and Janus' heart started to jackhammer in his chest. How utterly cute, how endearing. He wanted to smooth Patton's hair down and kiss him on the forehead, though he'd have to stand on his tiptoes to reach. Damn the subconscious for making him tiny.

"Where have you been?" Janus asked, planting himself in the middle of the hallway. Patton's door disappeared into white ether, a fact which Janus filed away to think about later.

"Sleeping," Patton said, holding up a bottle of NyQuil.

Well, that explained why he didn't smell like alcohol despite the obvious hangover. "And here I thought you were avoiding me," Janus teased. Despite the awful sting all up and down his chest, Patton's mere presence seemed to lighten the burden and ease his fears. He could bear this as long as he had Patton by his side.

"No," Patton mumbled, dragging hands down his face. "Coffee. Then talk."

He swayed a little, steadying himself on the wall. Janus held out his hand. "Come here, let me help."

Patton nodded and let Janus lead him to the kitchen. Not trusting Patton with the high chairs at the kitchen island, Janus instead led him to the table and turned a chair out for him so they could face each other. Patton coughed behind closed lips and a spike of fear paralyzed Janus' heart. He was already fighting for breath and this new bolt of adrenaline made him dizzy. He took deep breaths (as well as he could, with his lungs all entangled and bleeding) and forced himself to make coffee step-by-step. It was the one thing he regularly did by hand instead of just imagining it to completion, a ritual and a reward.

"I hope you didn't catch what I have," Janus said. Maintaining the lie.

"Doubt it," Patton mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Janus narrowed his eyes. What did that mean? Was Patton coughing up poppies, too? Suddenly, the drip-drip-drip of coffee into the pot, the rich, reassuring smell of the grounds, seemed unimportant. Janus imagined the coffee done percolating, imagined two mugs on the table. He pushed one toward Patton. "Cheers."

"What time is it?" Patton asked before downing half the contents of the mug in one long swallow.

"Around noon, I think." Feeling his diaphragm seize, Janus turned away, shaking his handkerchief out of his sleeve, and gave in to the fit. It was getting harder and harder to swallow the pain. Inhaling was not just uncomfortable now; it hurt like clenched fists around his lungs. But Janus was a practiced liar and tucked the pain away behind a velvet curtain. "I haven't seen you in two days."

"Sorry," Patton said, looking fractionally more alert now. "I was trying to sleep off this… Cold, I guess."

"Mm," said Janus, taking a sip of coffee to keep from having to answer properly. He couldn't decide how he wanted to pursue this, if he wanted to pursue this. What did it matter if Patton was coughing up poppies or daisies or African violets? It brought Janus no closer to solving the puzzle.

"You sound really bad," Patton said. He finished his coffee and blinked hard. "Oh! I'm sorry, but I don't think it's Roman."

"You're sure?" Janus asked, blood running cold.

But a lot of things seemed to be hitting Patton all at once with the introduction of caffeine to his system; he whipped his head up to look at Janus with something akin to panic. "I wanted to thank you, and-- Oh." He looked at their coffee mugs with obvious dismay. "I did it again."

"Did what?"

"I… I let you take care of me," Patton said in a small voice.

"Oh, Patton," Janus sighed, unable to help himself. The breath that ghosted across his lips tasted like blood and black coffee. He wondered if Patton would mind terribly if Janus kissed him anyway. "I really haven't been." That was true. Janus had been deliberately holding himself back from giving himself over to Patton. How little support did he get from the others, that Janus' minor attempts at friendship felt so significant?

"You have!" Patton insisted. "Right from the start. You've been right by my side through all of this, reminding me to take care of myself, spending time with me. You even helped me with that dog puzzle."

"I don't understand," Janus said. These were normal friendship behaviors. Had he been too obvious? Did Patton suspect? "Wouldn't the others have done the same?"

"They would," Patton said. "If I had asked."

"Oh," said Janus, blinking away a wave of dizziness. Even he couldn't begrudge the others their lack of understanding. It wasn't their fault they couldn't give Patton what he hadn't asked for. But what did it say about him that he had?

"You've been a really good friend to me, Janus. Even though I don't deserve it."

"Don't talk about my friend like that," Janus said, nudging Patton in the ribs. It was a soft, familiar gesture, something he'd done to Remus a hundred times before. It was the first time Janus had touched Patton without announcing it, getting permission.

Patton smiled at him, and then they both ruined the moment by dissolving into twin coughing fits.

Janus' lasted longer; he felt Patton's eyes on him as he repeatedly tried and failed to get himself under control-- Was that an entire flower in his throat? What did that mean? He banished it with difficulty, trying to master the animal impulses screaming it hurts it hurts it hurts as if to drown out his rational thought. He should leave, but he didn't want to. So he straightened up and washed away the taste of blood in his mouth with another swallow of coffee.

"Ohhh," Patton whispered. "You really don't sound good."

"I'm fine," Janus said, reflexively bringing out an old standard. It was the one lie everybody told.

"You didn't believe me when I said I was fine," Patton said. "Why should I believe you?"

"There's not really anything to be done about it," Janus said, hating the shallow breaths he had to take between every few words. If he stayed, he would have to pretend he wasn't in agony. But hadn't he been doing that this whole time? It was agony, being so certain that Patton could never want Janus the way Janus wanted Patton, yet unable to crush that sliver of hope that never died out.

Patton brandished the NyQuil bottle and Janus forced himself to laugh. Patton smiled at him, so soft and gentle and honey-sweet. "Why don't you sit with me?" Janus blinked and they were on the couch with two fresh cups of coffee. Patton had left no space between their bodies. "Is this okay?"

It wasn't, really. Janus burned with the contact, burned all over until he could feel it in his face and had to hide behind a cooler mask, though he was sure this one was still pale and pinched with pain. It wasn't fair at all, this horrible parody of romance. It shouldn't have been a problem. He should have been satisfied with friendship, like he was with Remus. It was nothing to sit in Remus' lap or play with his hair because they were both happy with the arrangement. But this? This made Janus want to put a fist through the wall. So of course, he said "Yes" and took his hat off in case he worked up the courage to rest his head on Patton's shoulder.

"Are we still gonna be friends the next time Thomas needs us for something?" Patton asked.

"So it's just a given that we're going to disagree?"

"Janus."

"Okay, okay." Janus sighed as deeply as his strangled lungs would allow. "I promise."

Patton beamed and didn't even question him. He just took it at face value now, that Janus wasn't lying about this. "Oh, good."

"So what are we doing?" Janus asked. "Going to drink coffee and gossip like a couple of old ladies?"

"Whatever you want, really," Patton said.

"Oh, good," Janus said drily. "I want to take shots and play strip poker." Patton blinked at him. "Kidding."

"Oh!" said Patton, shaking his head. "Sorry. Guess the NyQuil hasn't worn off yet."

"How about we watch something?" Janus asked. It was probably a little too early in the friendship to force Patton sit down and watch Perry Mason with him, but then again… He was a practiced hand at being selfish. The TV flashed to life and Janus sat his mug down on the coffee table before leaning back to watch.

"Ha," said Patton, apparently recognizing the show. "Should have guessed."

"Oh, enlighten me," Janus said, feigning innocence. "What's so funny?"

"I should have guessed you'd be into courtroom dramas," Patton said.

Janus would have ribbed him further, had his lungs not decided to turn themselves inside out. He barely got his handkerchief in front of his mouth in time before blood started spilling over his lips. God, this was miserable. His resolve was cracking; he was starting to doubt he could make it much longer without vocalizing the pain. "Maybe I will take that NyQuil," he said, the words feeling like coarse grit sandpaper as they dragged themselves up his throat. He took it from Patton before Patton could take the cap off-- He still had his pride even if he wouldn't have his voice for much longer. The thought loomed so terrifying in his mind that denial smacked it down to nothing before it could get out of control. Janus poured out half a dose of NyQuil. Everything would be fine. He would be okay. The subconscious would set him straight before the flowers could completely take over his respiratory system.

Beside him, Patton coughed a little too, and Janus sincerely hoped that he wasn't suffering the same ailment. Patton didn't deserve that.

The NyQuil kicked in gently, drawing Janus so subtly toward sleep he only noticed he was drifting off when his head touched Patton's shoulder.